#huh what do you mean projecting
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Whumpee never truly fit in with the team. Sure, they are part of it, but they're never part of the conversation, they're around for it. They have to make sure to eat quickly, because nobody will wait if they are last. They get noticed when they slack, but not when they're doing good. Nobody asks them if they're okay after missions, nobody shares a room with Whumpee. They're part of the team, but they're not part of the team.
But then they go through something awful, and when they get out and back with the team, the team takes care of them. They get the help they need. Whumpee doesn't often get to be the one in the center of attention, so it's a bit weird, but not unpleasant.
Within days, Whumpee is forcing themselves to do things again, because the team stopped doing them. And that makes sense, really, they can do it, so why shouldn't they? They like doing things on their own.
But then, weeks later, another team member gets hurt, and Whumpee sees how differently they're being treated. They also get help, but people ask if they're okay, and if they need anything. They stay up with them to make sure they're okay, make sure they're never out of anything.
They... never did any of that for Whumpee. Even when teammember is back on their feet, people still help them out, not in an overwhelming sense, but just showing that they're there for them.
And Whumpee suddenly realizes again, ah, right. That's where I stand in the team.
How silly of them to think they were equally valued.
#whump#whump prompt#whump scenario#team whump#feel free to add on!#huh what do you mean projecting#nahh#I would never
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(you worked yourself to death.)
yeah i wasn’t kidding when i said these would be coming soon. <- haha funny joke marshall. so!! remember when i said that this post would be coming out last weekend? guess whose tablet broke a few days after saying that! so sorry for the delay!! this is long overdue. here’s a link to the drive, as always! everything in this part of the update should be in the miscellaneous folder (outside of the menu icons, which are in the menu folder. wauaua).
unedited versions below the cut, plus some notes. fair warning 90% of this is just ui stuff lol
so! all of this was already done by the time i posted the enemies. the delay isn’t *entirely* because of the tablet issues, i just managed to get distracted by making: even more redraws! i’d say new update soon but after what happened last time i shouldn’t jinx myself. but! almost All of the art for the initial mod release is done!!!! exciting!!!!!!
please be nice to me (silly) this is my first time doing frame by frame animation in… give or take 5 years? i followed the original animations pretty closely, so they don’t look Awful but i am Aware of the jank. i’m not an animator!!! they’re Good Enough for my purposes.
hey did you know that the original teleport map is slightly off center. did you know that. that’s not the case for the redraw for the record but it did make things a little harder. despite that, i think you can tell i was having fun with the dormont part of the map. i would’ve put more detail into the house, but we never really get a more detailed look at it??? and i didn’t want to make assumptions. so that part’s just traced from the original 👍. anyways shoutout to the clocktower being Curved for whatever reason
outside of those, all of the added art is actually just spritework. i didn’t know this at first, but there’s a TON of copies of sprites from the icon set. Basically Everywhere. so those are added now! and should work properly! also added a few sprites that were Missing from my original batch. not going to put them all here, but a few Important ones (which i actually had to make new art for) are the rock paper scissors cheatsheet, the Larger versions of the craft signs (used in the calamité fight and. probably somewhere else idk), and the craft signs for the tutorial kid fight!
aaaand i think that’s it! for stuff from this update. yeah no there’s more coming buddy. my tablet already broke one time this week there’s no way it’s happening twice. i’m not working on portraits Just Yet (though the temptation has been There), but i’ve got the title screens, a few backgrounds, and the ending cgs done! along with a few other assorted cgs sketched out. because im out of my fucking mind. so, uh, see you soon!! enjoy!!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#huh. wait is this the first spoiler free update????#i should. prolly tag it anyways there are spoilers in the drive#isat spoilers#AGAIN SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG#my charging port on my ipad fucking Rusted#and apparently i’ve been using this thing so much that the pins in one side of the port are completely dshot#so! prolly gonna have to get a new one Soon but it still functions and that’s good enough for me#anyways!! the title screens are actually already in the drive. they’re just getting their own seperate post#also uh. as an aside. thank you guys again for all the support???#seeing people actually Mod my art into the game and make layouts genuinely made my day#what do you mean people like my art. thats insane to me#(also super sorry about the drive being so disorganized. i promise ill make a version that matches the ingame img folder eventually)#isat redraw project#<- I FORGOT TO TAG THIS. OOPS. KNEW I WAS FORGETTING SOMETHING.
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#digital art#digital drawing#art#drawing#project moon#limbus company#lcb#hong lu#hong lu lcb#dante#dante lcb#WHAT DID THEY MEAN BY THIS?!?!??!!#I am obsessed with Hong Lu#I am so happy with projmoon actually giving him something in someone else's canto#BUT#HUH?!??!?!#TF DO YOU MEAN THE LIGHT IS FADING#you cannot tell me he has ANY care for his life or wellbeing#this man#go#d#canto 7 spoilers#canto VII spoilers
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*panics*
#What do you mean “WoaS turns 1 year old”???#It feels like I started this project last week not last year 😭#time really flies huh#wish rewrite#disney#disney wish#wish reimagined#wish au#wishing on a star au#woas#woas au
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honestly, and this is just my $0.02 so take it with a grain of salt, but the neve hate has some real heteronomativity cattiness bullshit tagged on to it, because i'm assuming (lurking in the tags as i do and chewing on bad takes - eventually they'll enrage me enough that i'll start pulling screencaps with dialogue and put together a here is why you're fucking dumb post - it will not be the first or last time i do that and i won't apologize) a lot of people - especially in the general fandom who don't create in the sense that rpers and fanfic authors do, project themselves heavily on their rooks, and there's a legit spark of jealousy when a companion romanced in a previous playthrough romances someone else (ie neve and lucanis).
and like. i get that's a thing and generally can be fine - i think it would be fun to do a playthrough with decisions i would make but i'd also be a mostly purple rook and that's...not a lot different than what i'm doing now anyway but. again. there's a cattiness to it and it's just like please go touch grass for a little while.
#( ooc )#( tbd )#// and i can't really explain it better than that but#// the projection is one thing but#// it gets real weird and uncomfortable if it's done so hard you can't stand to see a character you romanced with someone different#// if you don't#// it reeks of that catty heternormative shit that's like#// i'm not like other girls and that's cultivated in cis heteronormative societal...bullshit#// you know what i mean?#// girls must be catty to other girls because they're competition not people#// it's weird and i don't like it#// eta; and maybe it's because my somewhat genderqueer ass just doesn't get it bc#// i bounce between masculine and girly girl on a whim it feels like#// but it's so obviously uncomfortably combative for no reason#// and i know fandom has been this way since time immemorial but#// it's like seeing cis straight women writing mlm relationships#// with those same heteronormative tropes like y'all really do think that shit is normal huh
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Lumi and the Great Big Galaxy got a small shoutout in a Saberspark video and never have I ever felt more gobsmacked than I have in like. Ever
#like what do you mean my silly little oc project is in a video from a guy I used to watch on bronies react????#I’m literally just. what. huh. HUH!!!!#but not in a bad way of course#it’s just so surreal… and scary!#Lumi could potentially get a lot of attention which is cool but also terrifying???#I’ve just been stunned all day I have no idea what to say#just?? wow??? holy crap??#Evan bleats
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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i think a really funny plotline for an fnf × project sekai mod/au could go like, bf being one of the virtual singers because of the whole "miku's brother" thing (maybe he's still in training. or just... new) and he hops into a newly created sekai thinking oh boy!! new person to sing with!! only to find out the source of the sekai is pico and the emotions that created it are pico's gay feelings for him
and now boyfriend has to figure out how to give pico breakup therapy while being the guy he broke up with
#friday night funkin#project sekai#what would the sekai even look like?? street sekai but all the graffiti art is gay flags???#“it is pride month vsingers. you know what that means”#“huh. what. do you want us to make like. gay sekais. what”
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the most devastating shit on earth is that i had a friend in middle school who was like my ride or die. but her only "social media" was Google Fucking Plus. so naturally i have lost her in the wastelands of that shitstorm. but i cannot find her ever again bc she has like The most common name on god's green earth so one facebook search for people with her name in the bronx yields like a million fucking results. so imagine if she's not even in the bronx anymore. 10 million results
#and if by some will from god she's out there wondering about me occasionally too She'd also be shit out of luck#bc my first name is different now. not even close to my birthname. and my last name is a nightmare#i didn't learn how to spell that shit until i was 6 and only so soon bc my mother set aside time to teach me specifically how to spell it#like it was its own school lesson. How to spell my own last name. so i'm not going to imagine someone could ever just Remember That#a decade down the fucking line#but i miss her often. she showed me inuyasha for the first time before rodan even did#we had the most awkward innocent scared quivering animal type lesbianism happening.#i would walk her home even though it meant making my 10 minute walk home into like 45 minutes#she lived in one of the projects and she snuck me in her apartment a few times when her dad wasn't home. that's when we watched inuyasha#one of my ''gifts'' i remember so specifically when we had decided we were dating is. i gave her. a tiny bag of chips.#blinks for a long time at you. i got her A Bag Of Chips.#💀😭 She should've killed me where i stood........#we once kissed because someone said they'd give us 20 dollars for it. We did not get the 20 dollars.#i was mad bc i wanted to split it with her and get snackies at the deli after school together or something. kills my elf#WAAAH i miss her. i miss da bronx too. one day i'm gonna drag rodan downstate to see it all#i want to take him to the bronx zoo and the botanical gardens. but also i just checked and nearly scumpt at the prices#37 DOLLARS..... 💀⁉️ i remember. (said oldly) i remember when it was. SEVEN DOLLARS!!!#whstever fucking happened to wednesdays you get in free. huh#i'm too scared to even look at the gardens now bc Nearly 40 tickets a person. oh My God. vomitworthy#wait oh my god what do thebuses and subway cost now. oh no oh no oh no#okay it's okay. it's a 40 cent difference. idr what a metrocard used to cost so it means nothing that it's a dollar now#but also Why the fuck do the express buses cost SEVEN DOLLARS.... 😭 brother bring that shit back down to five NEOW!!!#it's not even double the standard fare anymore. even if i round up the standard fare That's More Than Double. what#i hate inflation i hate inflation i hate#i'm rambling. walks away fast And my ass
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dio,,, DIOOOOOOOO I AM IN YOUR WALLS!!! the yearning b side absolutely haunted me, I could see and hear that shit in my head like a damn MOVIE! thank you thank you thank you for the delicious angst it’s so precious and heartbreaking realizing how scared Steve truly would be about how he feels about Eddie. he’s seen as this strong protector who can handle it all and well and truly he’s just a boy (he’s jUst a boy!!) with vulnerabilities and that needs to be emphasized more me thinks. bless ur soul <3
[yearning hours b-side]
:D hdhdhdg first of all thank you so much, i feel so powerful rn :D emotionally hurt steve harrington is one of my favourite things to write and explore because there’s just so much, it’s like an open buffet of trauma and repressed emotions :D
but also YES!! i think steve would store his feelings for eddie somewhere very close to his trauma and memories, and that would just paralyse and petrify him in a way that’s not easily lifted. they’d mingle and he’d be powerless to stop it, and before he knows it, he feels like he’s already lost before it even began. i personally think that’s how steve’s series of concussions, near-death experiences and grieving and loss within just a few years but during important personality development years come into effect. a quiet effect, but one that leaves him petrified of all things good that happen to him. all things good that are only for him, in a sense.
i also think he’s had to store away the feelings of fear and desperation and apprehension in the face of life or death situations so that he doesn’t know how to handle this fear of being, and being known, which is one of the easier fears to battle — if only one knows how to. and that’s why he can’t have good things for himself, he can’t get over the initial freak-outs of a crush, just finds himself in love and unable to do anything about it.
there’s something endlessly tragic about that, because imagine you preserve your life and that of your friends, right, but then you lose the ability to enjoy what makes it worth living after surviving. and then you find yourself at the quarry because places of horror and darkness —where there’s only one wrong step separating life from death — are the only places you know how to be anyone anymore.
sometimes i take this steve and think, “how do i possibly write a steddie fic with you, romance won’t fix this. you wouldn’t let it if it could.” but then i also take that eddie who knows a thing or two about being scared and not being allowed to be just a boy in your own right, who knows something about the terror of being queer in bumfuck, Indiana, and i think, and i think “yknow maybe these two can see each other in a way where darkness doesn’t matter as much. maybe romance won’t fix this, but kindness and understanding and love can.”
and then i end up with hurt steve yearning fics :D (though i love to make eddie just as scared)
(the steve doesn’t know how to face his emotions or be entirely vulnerable even in an established relationship is also indicated here, but in an entirely fluffy floaty way)
#steddie#this one almost didn’t have a happy ending because that heaviness that steve feels just. i felt that in my chest#(and maybe i was projecting but what about it huh) but then yeah it did. just because it’s dark doesn’t mean it has to be black and white#anyway i’m so happy you liked the yearning hours b-side 🥺🥹 you and everyone else who left comments and/or wonderful tags ily#i’m so obsessed with when people are nice to me ngl#nice people being nice to me#🤍#the boys deserve to be vulnerable more often and not immediately talk abt it. talking beside feeling is like the scariest thing you can do#ANYWAY HOLLY I DIDNT MEAN TO RAMBLE LIKE THIS AAAH THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY LITTLE FIC!! 🤍🌷
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literally earlier today i was saying how merch would be fun but i dont want to make a cd of my album cause i think it kinda sucks but then someone commented and was like i love your album and are you making a cd and shit i guess i have to now huh
#huh...why is music kinda going well i feel like i should be suspicious hmmm#maybe this is what happens if you dont abandon a project when it starts getting followers and interactions..bc people like it...#but i get nervoussss...anyway tour coming when ???#but omfg does this mean i have to do a show. do i have to start looking into that again aughhhhh
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even tho it kind of sucks sometimes i loooove youtube i won't lie i'm a youtube girlie
#yesterday i found this girl's channel and with her boyfie they are renovating this house in a place called british columbia (?)#which seems to be a very expensive place to live given the houses they're showing#well they're still working on it right but guess what. even tho the house was built in the 50's#they had to literally demolish it by ep. 20 because there were soooo many problems with the wood and it's so 😭😭😭#i mean not to be a history student but the way they couldn't keep the structure intact made my heart hurt ngl!! but ofc it was inevitable#like the city people were like ''yeah we're not giving the permits to do this'' and they were like ''huh? why not omg'' and then. the ants.#they're very sweet tho 😭💗 like they support each other so much even tho the project is not going as they planned#they have the money and they're trying their best it's very admirable to me because let me tell you i'd be losing my MINDDD#now i'm watching elliot sang's joever biden video and oh wow. OH WOW 😐#dara.t
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hi! i absolutely adore your writing omgg
if it’s not too much trouble i was thinking maybe ethan landry x fem reader and continuing with that dynamic of the dom gf + sub bf in public but vice versa in bed? LOTS of size kink (if you’re comfortable writing it ofc) and maybe some degradation from ethan? ugh that would just be sooo 😩😩😩
tysm in advance, no rush in writing, and don’t forget to eat and drink water!!
— 🦚
a/n: guyyys it’s official!! I have my first emoji anon <333 and of course bae, tyyy sm!!!
proofread
﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆. ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭ casual dominance with Ethan in and out of bed
Outside of bed, it’s like you both have your roles assigned to each other, you take complete dominance, you ask him to do simple thing you could do like — carry your books, your purse and even cleaning your shared dorm for weeks and weeks without stopping, it was something he found particularly annoying, specially when you basically did nothing compared to him.
“Babe, do you think you can wash those dishes for me?” You’d ask the taller man in front of you, standing right next to the sink.
“Can’t you do them? You’re already close and I’m kinda busy right now.” He mutters, focuses on whatever project he’s working in his computer, slightly nibbling on his thumb.
“Come on… you always do them for me.” You say in indignation, crossing your arms and huffing before you sit down on the couch.
“Yeah but I’ve been doing them for weeks, and again, I’m busy.”
It almost serves as a warning, and by now, you’d stop, you’d do your own dishes yourself, but you really can’t find it in you to stop when you just want him to do one simple chore. — Why can’t he do them anyways? He’s not that busy, is he?
“Ethan are you serious? It’s like two dishes and you spend all your time in that computer, you can spare some time to do it for me, it’s not that difficult.”
See, that’s what does it for him, because he finally stops what he’s doing to look back at you, raising a brow as if daring you to keep acting that way, and when you do say something else, it doesn’t take more than two seconds for him to toss you over his shoulder and take you to bed.
He’s on top of you — all over you the way he likes it, fucking some sense into you with some quick and hard thrusts, one hand wrapped around your throat while the other gently holds your waist.
“This is just what you needed, huh?” He scoffs. “Some dick so you can finally learn to stop bothering me and do your own shit.”
You don’t respond, instead, you press your eyes shut while one hand paws at the one at your throat, moaning as you try to make him let go.
“Uh-uh, you’re gonna learn your lesson, you’re gonna learn that when I say no, it means — I’m fucking busy.” He groans.
He squeezes your neck a little tighter, bring his other hand down and slightly fiddles with your clit, loose and messy movements that somehow do get you closer.
“And after this —“ he breathes, leans down to whisper on your neck. “You’re gonna wash your fucking dishes.”
#ethan landry smut#ethan landry x you#ethan landry#ethan landry x y/n#ghostface smut#scream 6 smut#scream smut#ethan landry imagine#ethan landry x reader#ethan landry scream#ethan landry fanfiction#ethan landry fic#ethan landry x fem!reader#ethan landry fluff#jack champion#jack champion x y/n#jack champion fluff#jack champion scream#jack champion imagine#jack champion x reader#jack champion smut#scream 6#ghostface x y/n#ghostface x you#ghostface imagine#ghostface x reader#𝜗𝜚: ethan landry#. 🦚 anon#. requests#webbluvrsugar
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▷ First Time?
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Synopsis . When you get paired with the campus asshole, Sukuna, for a project, the last thing you expect to learn about him is that he’s a damn virgin. Nor did you expect to be the one to change that. / Pairing . virgin!Sukuna x fem!reader / Content . afab!reader, oral sex (m!receiving), premature ejac, non-curse college au, dirty talk, pet names, degrading, porn w plot, teasing, taunting, filth, etc. / wc . 6k
A/N: ty to the nonnie on my main who asked if I’d ever write virgin!jjk men :3 [MDNI]
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Who would’ve thought?
Of all people, Sukuna, a virgin? It just didn’t make sense.
He was this stand-offish asshole who most people respected out of pure fear. He didn’t exactly do parties and yet you could always find him at one. He’d always have some chick on his arm or even in his lap so, in what world would anyone with a brain assume he’s actually never been inside a woman before?
And to make his lack of game all the more unbelievable, he’s even rumored to have a big dick— it’s like some overly well-known campus fact about the guy.
So, again, what reason would anyone have to think the guy was a virgin?
Certainly not you, of course. And you don’t expect to be the only person to find out such information either.
The way you find out is probably even more bizarre than the fact itself. You and him had little to no reason to ever interact with each other. You weren’t some shy nerd who holed herself up in her room all day or anything but you weren’t much of the party type other.
You were stuck somewhere in the middle of all that, vicariously living through some of your friends who had better things going for them.
As such, there was no real reason for you and Sukuna to cross paths. He never even had a reason to acknowledge your existence until the two of you are paired up together for a project in the one class you happen to take together.
——
The background noise is the chatter of your fellow classmates and their own project partners, you find your partner grumbling out a low, “What?” In response to your last statement, having hardly heard a thing you said.
“I said,” You huff, sitting beside the man in question as today marks week two of you being paired up with him for this semester’s project, “We should be meeting up outside of class too. We could get his knocked out in like a day if you just-“
“Oh that,” Sukuna cuts off casually. Seated all slouched back in his seat, his legs sprawled out in that signature manspread of his— he rolls his eyes at your little reminder, “You said somethin’ about that last week.”
You speak through slightly gritted teeth, fighting the headache he’s about to give you from this conversation alone, “All the more reason for you to take it into consideration. The faster we get this done, the less we have to deal with each other.”
As you say that, you glance at him only to find his eyes directly on yours already. He’s got such lazy posture, his head tilted slightly whilst he gazes at you so intently, and his big muscular arms folded across his chest. Even wearing a black hoodie and gray sweats, he still looks as attractive as ever— mean low-lidded crimson eyes locked on yours, tattooed face so beautifully defined, and rosy lips pulled into such an uninterested little frown.
Up until your words hit his ears properly, “The less we have to deal with each other, huh?” Sukuna repeats, narrowing his eyes even further at you, “You barely even know me ‘nd yet you want nothing to do with me already.”
“I know enough about you, Sukuna,” You say with a sigh, “And you hardly contribute to this project as is. Which only proves that everything they say about you is probably true.”
He arches a brow, his interest piquing, “And what exactly do people say about me?”
You let off a light scoff, “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“But I don’t know,” Sukuna tells you honestly, maroon eyes boring into yours.
You stare for a moment as you try to decipher whether or not he’s being honest right now. How does he not know what people say about him? Everyone talks about his brooding personality very openly.
“They say you’re an ass,” You eventually say to the man.
To which his lips twitch into a slight smirk, “And you believe that?”
“Seeing as I’ve asked you to, at the very least, type your name on this document and you haven’t even done that yet,” You scoff, “Yes.”
The two of you mildly glare at one another for a moment before Sukuna leans up in his seat. Breaking eye contact for just a moment to look at his laptop, he swiftly moves to open up that shared document of yours and types his name out with a heavy sigh.
After which, he’s slouching back again and looking at you, “Don’t believe everything people tell you, woman.”
You roll your eyes at him, “What? Are you not fond of rumors? That still doesn’t negate the fact that you’re an assho-“
“When do you want to meet up?” Sukuna grumbles out almost reluctantly, watching the way you pause and swallow thickly as he catches you off-guard.
He’s almost even intrigued by how quickly you bounce back, despite being caught by surprise, “Friday. Are you free?”
“Unfortunately,” He grumps.
You give him a little shrug, “Good. I’ll see you then.”
And that was it. That was how each and every interaction with you and Sukuna went. Bickering back and forth about him not doing shit to help you with something that’ll affect your grade majorly, criticizing you about being too focused and needing to relax every now and then, and even calling you a stuck-up little brat one time— it was safe to say, you and Sukuna didn’t get along too well.
Not that you minded anyway. He wasn’t your first partner to care little about their grade so, you knew how to deal with these kinds of people by now. Typically, you indulge yourself in their craving to ‘relax’ just once and then they promise to start helping. You’ve gone down that path before and it’s worked for you then so you assume things will go the same way with Sukuna.
Plus, you guess you can give him a slight pass for his asshole attitude, at least he has a pretty face to look at. Dark ink always decorating his awfully smooth skin, deep dark yet beautiful ruby-shaded eyes boring into whatever it is his focus on, and broad shoulders looming over your smaller figure every time he stands in front of you— you can't help but feel both attracted and intimidated by the man.
——
Which is exactly why when you open your apartment door for the scheduled meetup that Friday to crane your head up at him, you’re swallowing thickly to settle your nerves. You’ve never been alone with the man so of course you’re a bit nervous.
Especially with the way he gazes down at you like that’s exactly where you belong: beneath him. His eyes are filled to the brim with intensity and yet he’s only just set them on you. Wearing a noticeable black compression shirt and those signature gray sweets of his, he almost appears as though he’d just come from the gym.
And just as you take in his appearance, he very openly takes in yours— his eyes raking over your body and taking in every single inch of you. After all, just as it was your first time alone with him, it was his first time seeing you dress so comfortably. He doesn’t even try to hide the way he stares at your tits peeking out from the rather thin spaghetti-strap top you were wearing, his eyes soon trailing down slowly to those tauntingly short shorts you had on.
“So,” Sukuna swipes his tongue over his lips and cocks his head to the side, hands stuffed in his pockets and eyes yet to lift from your legs, “Are you gonna stare at me all day or are you gonna let me in?”
You blink out of whatever little daze you were in, having found yourself gazing at his chest far longer than you meant to. It was right in front of your face after all, how could you look anywhere else? And his shirt was so damn tight, the fabric hugging his well-toned body perfectly, so much so that you swore you could make out piercings on his-
Sukuna leans forward suddenly, his face nearing yours to gain your full attention, “If you keep staring at me like that, I’m gonna assume you invited me over for something else-“
“Sorry,” You chirp out as you clear your throat and awkwardly step back a bit to let him in, “You can come in.”
Nodding, Sukuna slips by you and you shut your apartment door behind him. Then, you’re quick to lead him over to your living room where you’d previously been working on your project.
The two of you are hasty to take a seat on your couch, both of you only a few inches apart from one another whilst you lean toward your coffee table and log into your already open laptop. Sukuna’s eyes are all over you as always, studying your side profile, your intent focus on the screen in front of you, and even the way you-
“Did you even bring anything?” You suddenly ask before you glance at the man.
Sukuna quickly meets your gaze, ripping his eyes off of wherever they’d been previously, “Was I supposed to?”
“Sukuna,” You sigh out, “Please tell me you’re joking right now.”
He swallows at the mere sound of his name rolling off your tongue in that scolding tone of yours— he’s heard such a tone from you time and time again and yet, for whatever reason, it never seems to annoy him.
“I’m not.” He says plainly.
“How are we supposed to work on this if you-,” You cut yourself off and decide not to even attempt arguing with him. Arguing won’t change the fact that he showed up with nothing. “Just uhm,” You glance elsewhere for a second before an idea comes to mind and you place your laptop down and stand up, “Stay here.”
Sukuna doesn’t say anything. He merely watches as you huff and walk off, swiftly exiting the living room and disappearing down a nearby hall. He swears he finds himself looking at you a bit more than intended. Especially as you walked off, his eyes dropping to your ass and those damn shorts of yours.
Even when you’re out of his sight, he still finds himself staring in the direction of which you went, almost unable to look away for whatever strange reason.
That lasts for a few minutes until he snaps out of it and leans back against the couch, tossing his head back and letting out a long sigh. You soon return to find him with an arm stretched along the back of the couch, his legs spread as usual, and his eyes up on the ceiling.
He doesn’t even notice you’ve returned until he feels something placed in his lap. Looking down, Sukuna finds your laptop kindly set on top of him. To which his brows furrowed in confusion and he looked at you to see you sitting on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table with a paper and pencil in front of you.
“What’s this?” Sukuna scoffs.
You don’t even spare him a glance as you begin writing something down, “How we’ll get things done.” He opens his mouth to say something but then you’re looking back at him with a glare, “I already organized the parts of this project that you have to do so, since it’s on my computer, you can work on that and I’ll work with what I remember.”
You wholeheartedly expected him to find something about this to disagree with you on but, to your surprise, he simply nods and redirects his focus to your laptop immediately.
And then, the two of you work exactly like that for the remainder of that little study session.
——
Sukuna’s not terrible to work with when it’s just you and him. If anything, he’s rather cooperative and a lot smarter than he leads on.
Which is why a solid two hours of productivity flies by surprisingly smoothly with him. If you asked him a question, he answered. Told him to do something, he’d say something snarky, and then do whatever it is you’ve instructed anyway.
It all went so perfectly up until he let out a really heavy sigh, “Alright, I’ve had enough for this.” Sukuna says casually.
He’s been repeating a similar phrase every thirty minutes or so but he usually gets right back to work after getting ignored by you. This time though, you get the feeling he’s serious when he pushes your laptop off of his lap and places it forward on the coffee table.
It’s then that you frown, “Oh c’mon, we were getting so much done,” You comment as you glance back to him.
He shrugs, “I can’t keep looking at that damn screen, it’s giving me a headache.”
“Of course it is,” You utter sarcastically, rolling your eyes whilst you place your pencil down and throw your arms up to stretch, “Fine then, we can take a break.”
Sukuna’s brows lift in surprise. He didn’t expect you to listen to him, “Good.” He hums, “I was getting bored as well.”
You scoff, “Were you?”
“Yeah, can we do something else?” He asks.
Turning around, you rotate the way you’re sitting so that you’re facing him and your back is resting against your coffee table. “Like what?” You muse, meeting his low-lidded gaze.
“Talk,” Sukuna says.
That’s it? He wanted a break to talk to you? Your eyes are narrowing at him before you even realize, “Talk?” You repeat with a scoff, “Seriously?”
He nods, “Mhm.”
“What do you wanna talk about, Sukuna?” As you ask him that, you watch the way his eyes casually slide down to your lips.
Does he mean to be this indiscreet with his looks? Or is he eyeing you down like that on purpose?
The man shrugs, “Anything outside of fuckin’ school.”
You laugh at that, “Okay, I can work with that.”
He tilts his head at you and licks his lips, “Yeah?” Something about your little laugh threw him off.
“Mhm,” You hum as you look down at your hand, fiddling with your nails a bit, “The rumors… are they true?”
Thrown off yet again, Sukuna’s brows pinch together. “Rumors?” He echoes in a genuinely confused tone, “What rumors, woman?”
The sound of your scoff makes him stiffen in his seat. Almost in an instant, the atmosphere had changed suddenly. “C’mon, don’t play dumb,” You tease, lifting your gaze to him again, “The rumors about you.”
He gives you a perplexed look and it’s almost as though you could see the gears in his head turning. “If you know something, say it.” He demands.
You sigh, “Sukuna, do you seriously hear nothing people say about you?”
Sukuna shrugs, “I don’t care enough to remember. So what is it? What rumor?”
You’re just curious. You swear that’s all it was. And, naturally, since he seemed to have warmed up to you— of course you wanted to know if that rumor about his dick was true. You’re both adults and it’s just a silly question. Plus, with the way he’s been looking at you all afternoon, you’re sure he won’t mind answering you with a simple yes or no.
Glancing to the side, your shoulders lift a bit, “It’s uh, rather intimate.” You hush out.
Sukuna narrows his eyes at you, “Intimate?? An intimate rumor about me?”
His emphasis on himself makes your eyes flick back over to him. “Yeah, are you sure you don’t know what they say about you??” You ask again.
“Positive. Now speak, what is it they say?” Sukuna huffs impatiently, even more curious about this little rumor after the mention of it being intimate. After all, he’s never-
“People say you have a big dick,” You utter way too casually.
So nonchalantly that it makes him choke, a choke you don’t mess with the way he clears his throat and sits up a little. “What?” He rasps out.
You bat those stupidly false innocent eyes at him, “I didn’t stutter,” Your tone dips into something different and he catches every bit of it, “People say you have a big dick, is it true?”
Sukuna clears his throat and for the first time, he glances away from you. Then, he opens and closes his mouth, contemplating his next words carefully before they soon fall from his lips, “You wanna find out?”
His offer spurs a shift in your seat from you as you scoot closer to him ever so slightly, “You wanna show me?” You ask boldly, your tone direct, and not even a flicker of hesitation present.
“Do I want to-,” Sukuna pauses, his eyes scanning the entirety of your seated frame as you inch closer to him, “What?” He huffs, swallowing thickly.
You move to stand on your knees and lean forward to the couch, soon propping your chin up on your palm as you look at him, “Show me,” You chuckle, “I asked if you wanted to show me, Sukuna.”
He blinks, “Show you my cock?”
You shrug, “Yeah.”
The air is so thick right now, Sukuna’s not sure how exactly he can play this off without making a fool of himself. He gulps yet again, only to watch as your eyes start to drop down along his body.
“Stop,” He rushes out, “Keep your eyes up here. On mine,” He commands in a low tone, earning your gaze once more.
And then it’s quiet for a moment. He’s staring at you and you’re obediently keeping your eyes up on his. Sukuna hates it but he doesn’t know what to say or do from here. The last thing he wanted was for you to find out his little secret.
It’s like he was waiting for a fucking pin to drop, something to break the silence. Yet, his mind was going blank and words were failing him at the moment. He’s flirted with women before, plenty of times actually, effortlessly even— but for whatever reason, as you sit there with those stupidly pretty eyes staring at him, his mind simply flakes on him.
He’s like that for a minute longer until you move. So subtly too, sliding a hand to his thigh, leaning forward slightly, batting your lashes at him, “Sukuna?” You whisper.
His hips are rolling upward slightly at the sound of his name alone. “W-What?” He stammers, mentally cursing himself a thousand times over.
“If you don’t wanna show me you can jus’ say no,” You hum, smiling a bit, “Y’know that, right?”
He scoffs, “Of course I know that, woman.”
“If you know that then…” Your fingers lightly squeeze his thigh and you tilt your head, “Are you gonna tell me or show me whether or not those rumors are true?”
Something simply clicks inside Sukuna’s head. Rose-tinted lips cracking into a smirk, the man spreads his legs further and slouches back into the couch, “Find out for yourself since you’re so curious.”
Your eyes go wide, “What?”
Sukuna scoffs lightly, moving one of his arms from the back of the couch and placing his hand over his crotch. Of course, your gaze sinks down to his veiny hand, watching as he palms a stupidly large bulge in his sweats.
Your breath hitches a bit, “I-I-“
You don’t even get the chance to get it out before he’s cutting you off, “C’mere,” Sukuna hums in that low voice of his.
“What?” You whisper.
You and him make eye contact again and he nods his chin toward the space in between his legs. Nothing can really explain why you follow his gesture and quickly find yourself sitting in between his legs, taking a deep breath as you settle your hands on his thighs.
Sliding your touch up and up and up until your fingers graze his hand. The same hand that was resting on top of that aching bulge of his.
Sukuna slowly lifts his hand up and away, relaxing his arm on the back of the couch again as he stares down at you. Cocking his head to the side, “Well? Feel it.” He huffs.
You don’t even hesitate. Trailing your fingers upward carefully until you feel the outline of his cock beneath your fingertips, gulping as you drag your hand up to cup his length in your hand firmly, and smirking at the way his cock twitches furiously beneath your small touch.
Sukuna’s mouth falls open for a second but you’re too engrossed in feeling him to notice. He lets out a shuddered breath as he watches the way you grope his steadily growing erection. His head even tosses back and his fingers dig into the couch for a moment.
“It is big,” You whisper to yourself, your words only making him twitch more within your hand.
“Fuck,” Sukuna grits out lowly, hips unconsciously lifting to press himself further against you.
His curse earns your attention. You quickly glance up to him and see the way he’s got his head tossed back, Adam's apple bobbing with every heavy gulp he takes, and his chest rising and falling rather quickly.
You lift your hand carefully and decide to test something out. Slowly, you lean forward and just barely press your lips against his clothed cock.
Sukuna’s whole body reacts. He gasps louder than he means to and he’s weaving his fingers through your hair faster than he realizes, palming your scalp as he quickly looks down at you. “T-The fuck are you doing? Huh?” He huffs while gripping onto your hair.
You lift your head a bit but he keeps you in place, despite his question to you. “I just…” You’re not exactly sure you can explain yourself.
And by this point, Sukuna doesn’t think he cares enough to hear an excuse from you, “…You what? You wanna see it?”
All you can do is give him a little nod before he moves his free hand to the drawstring of his sweatpants. Then you're quick to help him tug them down until his boxers are revealed to you— a noticeable dampness in the fabric right where his leaking tip is. Was that because of you?
Before you can dawn on your own questions, Sukuna’s moving to tug his cock out. And fuck is he even bigger revealed before your eyes. With an upward curve, such an angry flushed tip, precum dripping from the slit of his fat cockhead, veins decorating his shaft and-
Shit, you were drooling. How’d you get like this again?? Ah, who cares?
“Sukuna,” You breathe out, ripping your eyes away from his cock just to look up at him.
He was almost panting, dark maroon eyes pouring down into yours, face flushed with different shades of red and pink, his lips parted softly— hell, he looked like he was in heat or something.
Gulping before he answers you, Sukuna clears his throat and his voice is already husky, “What?”
You shift against the floor, your hands relaxing against his large thighs, “Can I-“
“Yeah,” He cuts off. Lord knows if you got that question out he was going to lose his damn mind.
You raise a brow and lean forward, keeping your eyes on his while your lips near his tip, “Yeah?”
The last thing you get from him is a nod before you’re parting your lips. And from that moment forward, it all goes downhill. Everything from the way you’re sitting in between his legs to that initial connection of your plush lips against his drooling cock had Sukuna’s mind spinning.
He’s never been sucked off before. Hell, the farthest he’s gone as far as sexual activities are concerned is a little bit of dry humping. But this? Oh hell, this was his first time and he had zero idea how he was going to keep that information away from you.
Especially when he feels your tongue slip from between your lips and swirl around the head of his cock, kittenly lapping up that slim layer of precum sitting so prettily on his tip.
“Oh f-fuuck,” Sukuna groans huskily, the hand on your head gripping tighter.
You pull away from him slightly just to take in his expression and the way he tosses his head back. It was almost cute to you. The last thing you expected was for him to be so damn sensitive, you hardly did anything.
His sensitivity only worsens as you finally start wrapping your lips around his cock, feeling him throb when you sink your mouth down on him. Sukuna’s jaw goes slack and his brows twist up. He tries his best to hold it in but he can’t help but moan at the way you leisurely suck on half of his lengthy cock.
Your saliva wets up the rest of his shaft and you make up for what your mouth hasn’t reached yet with your hand, stroking him lightly whilst you take the rest of his girth in and out of your mouth. Rolling your tongue around him, pulling off just to messily spit and kiss on his blushing tip, and slobbering all over him— Sukuna almost fucking kicked something with how good your mouth felt around him.
He’s used his hand and other shit before but holy fuck, nothing, and he means nothing compares to that damn mouth of yours. The way you look with his cock stuffed right in between those lips he’s been staring at for God knows how long— your lips all slick with spit, eyes rolling back the deeper you take him, and tongue sticking out every time you pull your mouth off of him.
You soon slip your mouth off of him and start jerking him off, focusing your tongue on his tip and slithering the wet muscle in between the slit of his cock, lathering your tongue up with his glistening precum.
The sound of Sukuna groaning makes you look up at him, finding his eyes on yours again. He’s panting, trying his best to look like this wasn’t phasing him but failing in every way with how flushed his face was.
Your tongue sticks out and your hand continues to slide up and down his cock as you tap his tip on your tongue, making his brows twist up.
He bites back a throaty sound, “Hah… damn brat,” Sukuna huffs out as if to… degrade you?
You almost find it cute how clearly inexperienced he is, spitting a fat wad of spit onto his pretty wet tip and then smiling at him, “Sukuna,” You coo, your hand gripping his shaft tighter, “Is this your first time?”
He instantly looks off to the side, the veins in his neck and along his jawline tensing as he grits his teeth. Since he decides to ignore your little question, you take it a step further and slide your hand down his cock, gripping his thick base firmly before taking him into your heavenly warm mouth again.
His expression breaks completely, “Oh shit,” Sukuna moans, his hips bucking up into your mouth as you slide him deeper into your mouth than you did before.
Then his hand is pushing your head down further on instinct and he’s subtly rutting his hips up. You lift your head up despite his constant pushing, soon causing your head to bob up and down whilst you suck him off skillfully.
“Jus’ like that,” Sukuna suddenly groans and you moan around his cock in reaction. To which he keeps giving your mouth mindless little thrusts, “Don’t s-, agh, stop.”
Sucking him deeper and deeper before you move your hand completely, you suck in a deep breath of air through your nose, open up the very back of your throat, and sink all the way down, your lips meeting his pelvis as your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Sukuna kicks something. Probably your coffee table with the way one of his legs extends out so suddenly, a choked-out groan ripped from his throat as your little move was all it took for him to cum. And it’s so much too, hot thick ropes of cum spurting down your throat, his hand holding onto your head for dear life whilst a moan of your name rolls off his tongue.
You’re still sucking too, pulling up only to swallow what he’s gifted you and then stick your tongue out. Laying it flat against his tip, you leisurely lick at him as if to beg for more and now the man’s pushing your head away for the first time.
When you lift your eyes up to him again, you notice he’s got his tattooed arm over his mouth and his lashes are batting softly at you. For such a big man, he was so ridiculously cute right now. Panting, sweating, cursing under his breath as if you couldn’t hear him.
“Yeah,” Sukuna utters suddenly, clearing his throat, “That was… my first… time. I uh-“
“Do you want more?” Is the last thing you asked him before you were sitting back on your heels and he was stumbling to his feet.
You had to guide him through it of course but, Sukuna doesn’t hesitate to stuff your face full of his cock again. You take him so kindly too, obediently sitting there with your hands gripping his thighs for support with every careful thrust of his hips.
He was trying to be gentle with you at first. Partially because he didn’t know what the hell he was doing, and also because he just loved the initial entry into your mouth. Over and over, Sukuna slid his dick in and out of your mouth like he was possessed, addicted to the feeling of you greedily sucking on him.
He was still sensitive from his first orgasm but his cock had yet to go down— twitching inside that sloppy mouth of yours, aching against your tongue, and dripping into the depths of your throat. Sukuna wasn’t much of a talker but he damn sure let out a plethora of grunts and groans.
They were so husk too, coming from deep within his chest, some getting caught in his throat when he felt your tongue flick against a specific vein on the underside of his cock. His fat tip knocked into the back of your throat with a single heavy thrust before his hands were latching onto the sides of your head.
Again, he’s not much of a talker but, something seems to come over him all at once because soon he’s got his gaze locked down on the messy sight of you and he’s huffing out words before he realizes. “Eyes up here, c’mon, hah… look at me,” Sukuna grunts.
Your eyes are completely glossed over as they flutter up to him. A moan vibrates against his skin as you make such intimate eye contact with the man, feeling his hips pick up.
Sukuna nods, “Good girl,” He praises in a low purr, and fuck does that do wonders for you because your legs are squeezing together more than they were before and you’re whining against him. “Fuck, y’like that?” He huffs, earning a sloppy lil’ nod from you.
He then feels you hum, “M-Mhm.” And he’s got chills slipping up his spine in pleasure.
Cracking a lazy, lopsided, and almost fucked-out little smirk, Sukuna scoffs, “Yeah? Fuck, behind all those g-glares ‘nd-, agh, scolding me… this is all you wanted, hm? A throat full of cock?”
His words had you whining again, fluttering your lashes at him as your fingertips dug into his thighs a little. Sukuna eases his hips back slowly, tipping his head to the side as he gently caresses the side of your face with his thumb.
“Messy girl,” He hums deeply, biting his lower lip at the way you’re just drooling for more and more as he pulls himself out of your mouth completely. “Jus’ look at this face,” Sukuna chuckles, “Y’look like a slut cryin’ like that— it’s cute.”
Blinking, you hadn’t even realized you had a tear or two sliding down your face. Your mouth remains open for a second before he moves to rub his tip against your plump lips, smearing your spit and his cum all over the damn place with a little grin on his face.
“‘Kuna…” You whisper, earning a quirk of his brow, “I can’t believe you’re a virg-“
“Don’t finish that sentence,” He grunts, moving a thumb to your chin to widen how open your mouth is for him, “Jus’… keep sittin’ there lookin’ pretty f’me,” Sukuna says.
You roll your eyes at him and all he can do is smile, pushing his hips forward again and easing his cock in between your lips. He slides in slowly until you can feel him pressing right against the back of your throat. To which he keeps himself there for a second, testing that gag reflex of yours and watching your eyes water.
Moving his hand back to the top of your head, he buries his fingers in your hair, “So fuckin’ sexy like this,” Sukuna compliments, feeling you moan in response, “M’gonna cum again, stay j-just like that,” He breathes out heavily, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull before he’s throwing his head back.
And as if to coax his orgasm out, you carefully move a hand to cup his balls, sucking on his cock as best as you can and earning an accidental sound from his throat. The second your palm is felt against him, the moment he feels your tongue slicking against him, Sukuna whines.
Then his thighs are tensing and he’s groaning loudly as if to cover up the sound that just left his lips, filling your throat with his seed and then tugging your mouth off of him with a quick pull of your head. You’re quick to swallow for yet a second time, letting out a needed cough after the fact while he stumbles back just a bit, his calves hitting the couch.
“Vixen,” Sukuna growls.
You clear your throat and send a smile his way, “Not my fault you cum easy.”
Sukuna’s slow to sit back down on the couch to catch his breath, “Tell anyone about this ‘nd I’ll-“
“Oh,” You suddenly purr, cutting him off as you lift yourself up from the ground. He watches with slightly widened eyes as you move to straddle him, “Don’t tell me you thought we were done?”
He’s at a loss for words all over again, his confidence suddenly getting caught in his throat and flying out the window. Your hands slip to his broad shoulders and you lean forward a little.
Sukuna’s hands shakily find their way to your waist as he stares up at you, “You want more?”
You smirk, tilting your head at the dumbfounded male, “Don’t you?” You ask in a sultry little whisper, making his sensitive cock twitch once more. “At the very least…” Your lips slowly near his and he’s losing his breath, “Taste yourself, Sukuna.”
And then your lips are on his and he’s taking your tongue into his mouth. His grip on your waist tightens before he pulls you flush against him, feeling your crotch press right against his cock that’s steadily twitching back to life.
The two of you share a heated and messy kiss, your hips carefully swaying against him to encourage his returning arousal. You can’t really use curiosity as an excuse anymore, can you?
Well, you can. And you do with the way your hands slide down to his chest, your fingers slipping over his nipples to find exactly what you’d been curious about. You flick your fingers over his piercing there and Sukuna lets out a low hiss, prying his lips from yours and sending you a glare.
Not only did that little move of yours make his cock spring up completely but, you also notice the frown on his face.
Smiling at him, “Sukuna…”
“Don’t.” He huffs.
“You have nipple piercings?” You end up asking anyway in a happy little tone.
He grits his teeth slightly, “…Obviously.”
Chuckling, you press a soft peck against his lips and whisper, “Can I see them?”
“No.” He replies.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bdd43b81ebc4e241083cf2c12ff23b57/44c25a9ab658a3ca-9f/s540x810/140382f90eb033c16666288f0277388a6e3142ae.jpg)
Part two.
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okay see, i think it's very much projection, in the sense that if you write Cool Character Person as insecure--especially if you take whatever insecurities they really do have and blow them up huge and intense, so there's a lot of canon material to work with--then you can walk them through the deep pangs of the low self-esteem and also through various proofs of worth and experiences of being reassured and validated and valued.
or of gaining confidence and telling off the people who don't value them instead, if that's the place you're at.
because the aim is to thus vicariously go through that emotional arc yourself. (and offer this also to the readers.) which provides access to both catharsis and to practice letting go of negative self-thinking via your proxy.
it's in there with reparenting yourself, basically.
people project insecurity onto fanfiction characters because they want to process their own insecurities. that is what the fic in question is for. it is an artwork and it is a tool. it's doing what it's supposed to.
and i've noticed it's not just easier set-up but works much better for most people as a mental health deal to do this work in a fanfic context, especially with a character who has elements of low self-worth but doesn't wallow in them in the canon (established baseline of Cool Dude who can Handle This), than with an original character designed for the purpose, who will inevitably be defined by their function of having low self-esteem and by their connection to you. and thus be harder to commit to validating, and pull through to the sense of catharsis, and therefore less effective.
there totally is a thing where fanfiction versions of characters lose specificity and become generic, and one of the many things that drives it is that people are more willing to engage with simpler and more comfortable flaws.
but i don't think picking out self-projection of insecurity as a virtue-signalling problem is an especially accurate or useful framing of the phenomenon.
Projection is definitely part of why fanfiction authors write characters as deeply insecure (even and especially when they are not in canon), but I don't think it's the whole story.
I think it's also that insecurity is seen as a "virtuous" character flaw. Saying that your main character is "too humble" is the fiction equivalent of telling a potential employer that your greatest weakness is working too hard. It's safer and easier than approaching those ugly but more interesting character flaws like selfishness, wrath, prejudice. Ugly things that exist in all people, to some extent.
If it is projection, it's an idealized projection to only paint one's cleanest flaws into their story.
#obviously if you know this is what you're doing it doesn't work as well though#like many emotional processing tools based on Pretend#so maybe i shouldn't have said anything lmao#but i feel like this post is missing the point of projection#it's not some random behavior that just exists sui generis#it's one of the major psychological functions of having stories at all#we use them to process our shit#a mental digestion al;skfjsdk;l#like i don't think any of these sentences are wrong but the underlying moral posture is so weirdly self-righteous#why is your fanfiction self-indulgent drek rather than great literature? well you see#just like yeah the 'virtuousness' means people have a more comfortable time doing the wallow than the people processing less acceptable shi#although if you think they aren't doing wrath and prejudice in the same style you need to look harder#like what is your goal here do you think the people struggling with insecurity this hard need shaming?????#seriously what does idealized projection mean#what do you think projection is and how do you think it's supposed to work#what is the complaint#i started out just trying to clarify#but the longer i think about this post the more i'm like oh this is actually kind of a dick thing to say huh#probably op just wasn't really thinking past the observation though#is this some kind of christian If It Feels Bad It's More Virtuous gut logic?#yeah probably#the 'too humble' issue to avoid real flaws comes up more with ocs#if someone is overdoing it in fanfic it's probably because something in that interpretation speaks to their needs
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idfk what im doing. thank u @fansblogs for helping with some dialogue editing
Transcript v
Suitcase: Fan?
Fan: Oh- H-Hey Suitcase!
Fan: So- how's it feel to be the season 2 winner, huh?
Suitcase: Heh, it feels… strange- yet… nice. But- are you alright?
Fan: Oh, I'm fine… all fine… except the fact that I'm- y'know, not real! Hah… I just… can't help thinking- was I just made to like the show? How am I even supposed to process that! I'm not sure how I didn't even notice- and I was… well- made to pay attention to the show… or so I thought.
Fan: Just- just look! Ha-ha, oh- an actual fan is ALSO a fan of the show! I mean- my- my first appearance was…. just a little gag. From how they(the viewers) viewed us- to what everyone else was made for- I had been right- we all were just some characters! Just… scripted, and, well- fake. But- but with this whole… "what's real" question, uh… you… did put on a very good speech.
Fan: I dunno. I just- well. I tried to keep the show from being practically- uh… everything? But, I still…
Suitcase: It's... still very important to you. I get that.
Fan: I- ...yeah.
Fan: Even if I know there's more... I'm still kind of- well... I'm still the biggest fan, right? Like- go ask Marshmallow and she's completely cutting ties with it! But- I can't give up the show like that. Would that be fake? To keep that purpose...?
Suitcase: Well... you've put a lot of time and effort into the show, and you still do.
Fan: O-Of course I do! I just- I don't know if that's just... some reflection of MePhone- a-and, y'know, as the #1 fan, that should be a dream come true, right? But- it's kind of... taking away any individuality to the point where I'm- I'm apparently just-
Fan: ...Something to be projected onto- like the egg... gosh, that's really making it hurt.
Suitcase: Even then- you've still built around that. You're more than that.
Fan: I- I know! But- MePhone left to- who knows where! Inanimate Insanity finally ended- and how am I supposed to deal with that?! If- If I was initially made to love the show- and- and there's no chance of continuation- then what do I do now?! I- I can't just- well, just... just...
Suitcase: I'm... sorry, Fan, but- you have to accept that the show... is over, and... that really isn't all you are... you know that.
Fan: I... I guess.
Test Tube: Fan! I need your help!
Fan: Oh- c-coming, Test Tube! See you, Suitcase!
Suitcase: Bye... Fan.
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