#huh if I get in a car crash and die

[sylvarantii]

I'd sort of like to go into more detail of my own experience since I didn't want to piggy back too much on the post I reblogged, but it really is very difficult job searching as a person with ADHD and Autism.

I was a caregiver for my brother for around 10 years through the state. It helped pay for my college tuition, but as you can imagine, it didn't leave me with me with much job experience towards my career path.

I didn't really know how to get myself the experience either. I worked up to getting a bachelor's in Graphic Design/Art because I really enjoyed working with the programs and felt it just all fit for me.

But as you can imagine, the job economy is hard to get into and I was not sure where to go from graduation. Obviously internships would've been the answer, but considering I'm a first generation graduate from college and have Boomer parents, they didn't really know what to advise me to do other than what they used to do when they were younger and just keep going to places and handing in my application.

Basically, I had no idea what I was doing and started to wonder after several years if I wasted my time going to college.

I had been sold on that "If you go to college, you're guaranteed a good future" stuff and you can call me gullible, but I just really wanted better for myself. It felt like the only way, unfortunately.

Anyway, after my brother moved into a group home, I was out of a job and my money was draining quick. I was desperate and wasn't getting any interviews no matter where I sent my application in. I tried a call center which was really a terrible decision for someone like me, but what felt like the only choice I had if I didn't want to pursue fast food or retail.

It was miserable. I worked there for 8 months and that job was hell and was so much stress on me mentally. I kept trying to find other jobs, but had no luck with anything. I was unable to sleep some days before going into work and I was having breakdowns.

To add to things, they were forcing everyone to work overtime by the end of my time there and they were incorporating something where you had to work with two screens instead of one. It was just too much and eventually I just had to ask to be let go from the job.

I was fortunate soon after to start a job with an actual graphic design position within a month after that and I loved it. But it wasn't a good fit. I'd make mistakes and I think those mistakes costed my employers a lot of money. I was let go after 2 months of working there and had to keep job searching again.

It takes several months, but I get two job leads. 1 was pretty neat since it was some sort of job where you make designs to place on caskets and pamphlets for a memorial service type of company, but while the offer of getting to work alone was nice, it also felt like something where they wouldn't just ease you into it and you'd have to get the hang of it right away. 2 was with a job that basically was like what I had been doing with the previous one, so I was hopeful it'd be a really good fit and was very excited when they offered me the job. Especially since the other company didn't seem interested in hiring me.

They only kept me for 3 days since I just couldn't work fast enough for them nor get the hang of the job within that time. They never outright fired me, but clearly if they never called me in again, suffice it to say, they found someone else. So we're in the middle of the pandemic, I'm trying to look for work that's remote since I'm too scared to want to work anywhere in office. I fall into a deep depression where I just feel like it'd be better if...something happens. I may not have acted on suicide, but I sure as hell was at my lowest point that I really didn't care what happened to me. It really felt like nothing was ever going to get better.

Eventually, I'm pushed to go and get benefits and am able to get on medicaid and food stamps due to the fact I'm not making an income. It really helped in the long run.

My mom helps me to get an appointment and I go in to get tested, with the doctors confirming that I'm diagnosed with severe depression. I get put on citalopram and suddenly things don't feel so bad. I'm getting better, my body doesn't feel constantly tired and I manage to actually get up and do things again. I over all get a more positive outlook and start to just in general feel better again.

I also get diagnosed for autism and some things weirdly start to make a lot of sense. My mom was hopeful that this would also help me possibly get on disability, but here in America, that is a VERY tricky process and one I tried applying for like twice and had no luck with. I'm personally not interested in trying a third attempt since I don't think the results will be any better.

But! I did soon after land my current job, a graphic design job I've been with for about 2 1/2 years now and it is possibly the best I've ever felt with a job. The work culture is great. People are really nice and pleasant to work with. I feel appreciated in my job and even receive praise for a job well done on things.

It's part time, so unfortunately it's not enough to move out and get a place of my own yet, but it means I can still support myself, help my mom with the house payments and just over all enjoy a much more laid back existence where I can be pretty content.

In the end, it's rough. People like us will have struggles most likely and sometimes you just want to give up. It feels like it's too much. But it's like what everyone says. It does get better. And I'm going to continue to believe it can only (hopefully) get even better from here.

(Knock on wood, anyway)

[darinawrites]

⚹︎ — It's just a cold — ⚹︎⠀

Pairing: Dae ho x reader

Summary: you appreciate his love a lot, you do. But the first time you got a cold, in his eyes, you were on the verge of death. Him basically having a breakdown while getting groceries, hurrying to be by your side. Annoying, but also cute (Dae ho freaking out about a cold, basically.)

Content: fluff, fluff and even more fluff (the angst fics will come soon, dw), soft Dae ho, sick reader.

A/n: I am a firm fluff lover, if it wasn't obvious. Again, I tried to shorten the fic, but it still seems rushed to me.😓 I'll get the hang of it soon, one day. I'll probably make a fic with prompt of sick reader soon again and focus the prompt more on taking care of the fever. And as always, tips are appreciated <3

Word count: 2k

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Arms pushing a shopping cart, legs striding behind it. It was just a normal day for Dae ho, besides the fact his beloved didn't text him when he woke up. It set him out of his mellow mood in the morning, concerned nature immediately rushing to the worse.

To get his mind off of it, he decided to just shop the groceries this time, a task you usually handle. Phone in his hand, waiting for a buzz as he placed a few items in the cart.

"Never understood why there are so many types of toilet papers..." he sighed out, having the tedious task of picking the right product. How do people not go insane from this?

So engrossed in the task, he let his phone plop in the cart, now picking up the piece of paper for any details that may help him, forgetting you for just a small moment.

His phone let out a small buzz in the confined space, screen enlightening to notify a message has been delivered. But his ears didn't catch it, leaving it untouched.

Finally done, he'd only realize it once he picked up the phone and hurriedly opened it. His mind drifting back to you, not letting his hopes die down when checking for your name. And to his surprise, a little green blob indicated a message was left.

A soft smile was seen on him, before dropping it quickly. Eyes reading 'message deleted' on the screen when opening the supposed message

Huh? What could this mean?

Anxiety was starting to build again, now stopping the cart as he just stood still in the aisle. His thumb quickly swiping on the call button, ringing intruding his ears as your profile was now shown.

Oh gosh, were you on your period? A car crash? An intruder?? What if-

"Dae ho..?" a quiet voice called him trough the line, letting his thoughts be set aside. "Why are you calling?" it sounded restraint, not helping his trembling anxiety.

Collecting himself to answer properly, letting a pause on the line stay. "You didn't say anything this morning and even deleted your message. Please tell me what's wrong." His tone was soft and scared. Thinking this is a situation of trust, he didn't want to push it or sound needy.

A rasp in your throat could be heard, voice tinged with vulnerability, "I didn't want to bother you. I just have a slight cold, nothing serious-"

"A what?" he quickly added, fear evident in his words.

"A cold. Dae ho , please don't start-!" a little 'beep' rang out, making you sigh. A cough following right after. You admired his tenacity to always please you. You loved it even, but sometimes it's just too much, making you hesitant to tell him about your cold from the start.

After an ephemeral time, it would go away. It wasn't worth mentioning, but to Dae ho? You were on the verge of death. You hated worrying him so much, yet his tender personality made it incredibly hard. Making him overreact at even a diminutive amount of discomfort you felt.

You had a good idea of what was happening right now, after the call. But your clouded mind, hazy with the fever, couldn't handle thinking about it anymore.

You let your head rest back on the tenth of pillows you stacked, a thick blanket pulled over you, letting your phone fall down next to you. There's nothing you could do now. Only hopes and prayers for his own good to not overreact, unsure if his heart could take it anymore.

Sadly, your hopes were left in the corner as Dae ho was rushing trough every aisle. Trying to find anything to soothe your fever.

Tea? Pushed in. Soup? Every flavour was already laying in the cart. Sweat building on his forehead, getting a few glares from other people. But he couldn't bring himself to care, not when every inch of his body was thinking about you.

Completely abandoning the shopping list as his cart was filled to the brim with either your favourite foods or soups and comfort foods. Bringing his full cart to check out, foot tapping impatiently. He closed his eyes, trying to find any peace within him.

He did feel an immense amount of guilt for just hanging up on you, it was just in the moment. Feeling his heart sink and your rushed tone trying to stop him from doing anything extreme was too much, making his thumb, with no approval, click the 'hang up' button. His timidness pulling the strings on him like a puppet.

He'd normally feel a hand on his head, brushing trough his head when his anxiety got full control over him, reassuring words coming out of your plump lips. But that's not the case right now, its far from it. Heck, your hands were probably too weak to stroke his hair!

His face lifted up to stare at the cashiers face when his turn came, now having to deal with this all alone.

He didn't mutter a single word to them, paying no attention and focusing on the important thoughts. Picking up his bags when finally done and hurriedly walking to his car, going to pick up some medicine.

Stepping into the car, struggling to put the car keys in the hole, hands trembling. Questions such as 'What medicine do you need' now intruding his mind once more.

As the car started with a soft step on the gas, he tried to muster every memory of his limited experience with medication to know what you need. Expectedly not working, he sighed, cursing himself before coming up with a new idea. He took out his phone to the second best option. Google.

His eyed drifted to tame answers given to him on the top, easing him a little. And he should've stopped there, he really should have. The answers below weren't ones he wanted to see.

'Infections? bronchiolitis? Death??' you've teached him countless times to not be so gullible to what's written online, apparently it just went out of his ear as soon as you finished because he's pressing harder on the gas now with the newly found information.

He'll be sending you messages to update you where he was from now on, fearing now if you aren't as well as he thinks. He was a bit disillusioned with himself that he didn't do that earlier as he sent a bunch of texts, your phone vibrating right beside your sleeping face.

'Hey! I'm in the pharmacy right now, my love. I'll be with you soon.' click, and the message was sent, his other hand clutching the doorknob to the pharmacy. His feet now stepping on the wooden floors, contemplating what he should say, as he came up to the lady in the front.

"H-hello, may I get some medicine for Chilblain, Bronchitis, Arthritis-" he started to incessantly ramble all the diseases he could remember the moment the friendly lady smiled, her smile gradually fading into one of worry.

"..Is that all, sir?" he'd hear once his voice begged him to take a break. Fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, letting out a small nod, not long after walking out with 2 bags stacked to a brim, a worried wave letting him go from the lady behind him.

___

The buzzing of your phone finally woke you up, after the 30th time. Groggily opening your eyes, head still spinning and body fatigued. You weakly reached out for the phone, checking to see who disturbed your sleep. And to no ones surprise, Dae hos name popped up.

Before you could read trough the messages and see what he's been up to, the door flung open. An out of breath Dae ho was to be seen, a bunch of bags in his hands.

Your eyes were still hazy from just waking up, but you could see him rushing to your side, filling your ear with tons of question that your brain couldn't process as fastly as he was speaking.

"Dae ho!" you said as loudly as your throat managed, tone coming out more berating than you'd like, making him immediately stop in his tracks.

"Please..," you added now, softening your voice, "Stop worrying so much, it's a simple cold, okay? I love your worrying, but this is simple out of the line. I don't want to worry you so much, so listen to me." you stroked your hands trough his hair in a ponytail, emphasising to let his worries go.

Sighing as he let your words take the led and your shaken hands pluck the worry. Mumbling a little 'sorry' as he buried his head into your neck, his tense body now more relaxed, he knew he shouldn't worry so much, but he couldn't help it when it came to you.

Your lips were curling upwards the longer you sat like this. Letting your bodies melt into each other. It was always so nice having him in your arms. Not long after, much to your dismay, he lifted his head again. A sudden realization shining in his eyes.

"Hey...you're sick. I'm supposed to be taking care of you!" you let out a small giggle at that, his weight now off you as he took the bags into the kitchen and started doing...something. You're not quite sure what.

A few minutes passed by, his figure entering your eyesight again. This time with some pills and a bowl of soup, setting them down on the table. Picking up the pills, he signaled you to open your mouth. The small pill placed on your tongue once opening your mouth, swallowing it with the help of a water bottle beside you.

"This isn't some medicine for a weird disease with 40 letters, right?" you asked once you fully swallowed, teasing tone evident.

Pouting, he answered "Its just something to ease your pain and clear your nose. Glad to see the fever hasn't completely engulfed your teasing."

A rasp chuckle left your mouth "I had to, you brought a ridiculous amount of medicine." Your gaze was at his face, a small smile plastered on him. But from the corner of your eye, you spotted the soup. Attention now averted to the bowl. Did you have an appetite? No. Did you want it? Yes. Dae ho just manages to make everything look so good. A simple stew by him could make your mouth drip down with drool, making your eyes have a small glimmer as you intently looked at the soup.

Though, as you sat up to have a taste, you let out a loud groan immediately. The pain rushing back into your head. Dae ho was quick to react, arms reaching out to support your weight.

"Take it easy, love. Please." he hushed against your ear, manhandling your frail body with ease in a comfortable sitting position, wrapping the blanket around your figure in a way no cold seeps trough, being very meticulous with it.

You wanted to reach for the spoon, but the gesture was stopped with a small grip. "Don't worry, I'm here for a reason after all." hands bigger than yours were reaching out for the spoon this time, dipping it in the liquid before it was blown by the air left out of his mouth to cool it down.

You knew he liked protecting you, or rather feeling like he's protecting you. And you've always let him, his proud smile brightening the day everytime. And this was one of the situations, one arm hoisted around your waist, the other bringing the now cooled down soup to your mouth. You let the metal touch your mouth, pouring the warm soup and letting your taste buds enjoy it.

Your gaze never once left his eyes as he spoon feed you, such an intimate act in your mind. He apparently thought so to, his cheeks warming up everytime he brought the spoon back to your mouth.

"Hey, Dae ho..," your hoarse voice said, breaking the comfortable silence in the atmosphere, "Can you promise me to not have a day like this repeat again?"

He stopped his arm for a second, waiting a little before answering "Yes ma'am! If it helps you, then a promise will always be settled." Letting his hands fall onto his forehead, doing a salut with a warm, but serious smile.

It made you bite your lip, holding in a laugh.

He really was a goofus, your goofus.

[luvyeni]

YOU TRY TO ESCAPE 𖹭 엔하이픈 ( reaction ) !

genre yandere 𖹭 warning mentions of murder and tying up , jake is crazy , sunghoon needs help and heeseung and jay are maniacs — parings enhypen hyungline x fem reader | back to library .

request. hii girlie could you do yandere enhypen when you try to escape it can be hyung line or ot7!

— enhypens reaction when you try and escape.

「 authors note 𖹭 」 i hope you like it.

﹙ 𐙚 : heeseung﹚ .ᐟ

normally heeseung ties you up before he goes to bed , but this night he was too tired and he crashed right on the bed , leaving you both awake and unbound — so you took your chances , slowly moving his hand from your waist , climbing off the bed; tip toeing towards the door. "stupid stupid girl." you heard your boyfriend say. "you think just because i didn't tie you up i didn't set precautions for this?" he slowly climbed out of bed. "open the door , try it." he smiled. "fucking open it." you opened the door, only for an alarm to go off. "close it." he said , you tearfully closed it. "now get back into bed." he said and you listened , climbing back into bed. "I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt." he pulled out the handcuffs.

"but you clearly can't be trusted."

﹙ 𐙚 : jay ﹚ .ᐟ

jay would let you leave , it's not like you can get far with the tracker he put those pretty little earrings you were to stupid and high on adrenaline to take off , he knows where you are— so when you come to a sudden stop at a bus station , he smirks before telling his guys to get the car ready. you sat waiting for the next bus out of town and away from jay , you were finally free. "oh princess." you felt someone sitting next to you , your body freezing in fear as you felt his hand on your knee. "h-how did you find me?" he smiled , but you could see the anger in his eyes. "those really expensive earrings that you're wearing, pretty baby those are trackers." you tried to get up , but squeezed your thighs. "i have two men at the ready in case you run , so you don't have a choice." he said as a car pulled up.

"you really don't have a choice , get in the fucking car."

﹙ 𐙚 : jake﹚ .ᐟ

the thing with jake is , he's crazy in love with a big emphasis on crazy; once he met you , his life had no meaning, he didn't live for himself , he lived for you — but jake also wasn't willing to let you leave , no he loved you too much , he'd kill you before he'd ever let you walk away from him , and if you weren't there then he'd had nothing to live for. "where are you going?" your heart dropped hearing your boyfriends voice , you turned around to where he stood , teary eyed , holding a knife in his hand. "you're leaving me aren't , you were gonna leave me." he was sobbing now. "jaeyun�� no!" he shouted. "i won't let you go." he walked closer with the knife. "jake calm down." you said. "i can't let you go , but i can't live without you." he said. "let's calm down jake."

"i'll kill us both , let's die together huh? i can't let you go."

﹙ 𐙚 : sunghoon ﹚ .ᐟ

he knew you were bluffing; he knows you'll be right back where you started , you have no money , no friends , no family; he's all you have and you know it. "you want to leave?" he smiled , but it wasn't a humorous laugh. "go." he said pointing to the door. "the doors right there." he shrugged. "answer me this one question , where are you going?" he asked. "how are you gonna get there?" you stammered over your words. "that's right , you have no one , you cut them off because of me." he said. "dumb move." he said. "so walk out that door , do it." he said.

"and see who really loves you."

©️LUVYENI

[tthesongofachilless]

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL

♟️ — relationship: Max Verstappen x fem!teammate!reader

♟️ — face claim: Pinterest

♟️ — WARNING: This smau includes hate, death threats and sexism.

♟️ — a/n: thank you everyone for the support recently! Its been a wild ride making this, so I hope you enjoy it! For requests on my next smau, feel free to put in an ask! Enjoy

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 384,752 other liked..

f1: F1 BREAKING: Y/n Y/l/n signs with Redbull! ✏️

view comments:

user1: WHAT HUH WAIT WHAAA

user2: RUE... WHEN WAS THIS?

user3: IM SHAKING

redbullracing: welcome 🫶🏻

user4: OH HELL NO

user5: checo come back the kids miss you (im the kids)

maxverstappen1: 👋

user6: i thought we were getting a maxiel reunion..

user7: she's a fucking rookie what do redbull expect is gonna happen

user8: the history book on the shelf is always repeating itself 😔😔😔

yourusername: 🫶

user9: shut your goofy ass up go to Williams instead they will LOVE you there

yourbestfriend, landonorris and 23,038 others liked..

yourusername: trying to live my life till the fullest until my trainer forces me to stop 🙈

view comments:

user10: oh don't worry girlie you'll be back to living your life till the fullest in no time

user11: gosh lando in the likes she's already tryna bag every driver

user12: all i wanna know is how does y/n make that many cups of coffee and not finish any of them?

user13: cant wait to see her make a post talking about her leaving F1

user14: y/n is about to become the james charles of f1

yourbestfriend: miss you xxx

yourusername: miss you more!!!

—

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 197,296 others..

f1: 👋 Hello Max, Hello Y/n! Who's ready for our opening round of the season?

view comments

user20: gosh she won't even let the photographers get a good picture for the official f1 insta

user21: did they..... arrive together...?

user22: uhm!!! who is this girl!!!! where is checo!!!!???

user23: max run

redbullracing: Hello, f1!

yourusername: ME!!!🙈🙈🙈

user24: shut UP ALREADY

schecoperez and 482,074 liked..

f1: CONTACT! 💥 Max Verstappen is okay, safety car is deployed.

view comments:

user25: im going to murder y/n.

user26: turning the tv off it isn't worth watching anymore

user27: CHECO IN THE LIKES HAHAHA

user28: hey y/n do a mazespin

user29: redbull shaking in their boots

landonorris, redbullracing and 963,285 liked..

f1: Y/N Y/L/N, A FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIX WINNER!

view comments

yourbestfriend: THAT'S MY GIRL

redbullracing: 👊👊👊

user30: ugh

user31: can't wait for her to crash at every other race!

user32: wondering how the haters feel now...

yourusername: I FEEL AMAZING 🥁🥁

user33: kill yourself

yourusername posted a story!

caption: I'm winning

tagged: maxverstappen1

view comments

maxverstappen1: uhm you cheated

yourusername: you literally ate one of your cards

user34: leave that man alone

user35: jump out of the bus

maxverstappen1, taylorswift and 38,284 others liked..

yourusername: Taylor was right! Haters gonna hate hate hate while I'm just gonna shake shake shake!

view comments

user36: she's so annoying

user37: she's a swiftie? Gonna stop listening to Taylor now 🙉

taylornation: glad we could help 💕

user38: are we not going to talk about the second picture

user39: im scared for that mans wellbeing

maxverstappen1: 🏌️ Score!

user40: MAX RUN

—

— 7 Months later..

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 918,024 others liked..

yourusername: wanna die but at least I've got my boo 💐

view comments

yourusername: you deserve so much better baby 💕

maxverstappen1: 👫 twinssss

user44: I'm sorry YOU SAY TWINS IN THAT YOU WANNA DIE OR YOU GOT YOUR BOO

user45: girl has been through it all in the past few months

user46: show them that they're wrong!!

user47: who is the boo?

user48: ugh such a pinterest lifestyle

liked by redbullracing, maxverstappen1 and 486,019 others

f1: Our final race of the season is upon us! Who will take the title? Verstappen or Y/l/n?

view comments

user50: if y/n manages to win the title in her rookie year despite all the hate she's getting I'm going to be so proud

user51: both deserve it so much 🧡

redbullracing: We are happy either way!

user52: DU DU DU DU MAX VERSTAPPEN

user53: y/n prove the haters wrong!

liked by 401,851 others.

F1: RED FLAG 🚩 Mick is okay.

view comments

user54: SHITTTT

user55: Mick baby you need a new seat

user56: doesn't this now make redbull 1-2?

user57: yeah! y/n is leading while Max is second

liked by 1,052,852 others

F1: We go racing again in Abu Dhabi! Y/n is leading with Max in second and Lewis in third.

view comments

user58: YOU GOT THIS Y/N!!!

user59: Lewis could do so something really funny now

user60: MAXIE 2024 CHAMP

user61: last race with Lewis at merc... im not sad... no...

user62: im shaking

maxverstappen1, yourbestfriend and 4,952,012 others liked..

F1: OUR NEWEST WORLD CHAMPION, Y/N Y/L/N!

view comments

user64: fucking bitch

user65: YESSSSSS

user66: UGH

user67: the way max looked at her when he got out of the car 🥹

user68: can't tell if she used him to get the wdc or if they are actually in love

user69: MAX AND Y/N OH MY GODD

user70: 💕

yourbestfriend: AHDHDHHGDDHHD IM GONNA DIE

yourusername, redbullracing and 6,308,157 others liked

maxverstappen1: Y/n, I've loved you since I first met you in our junior years. Your personality matches mine, and I could've never asked for anyone more beautiful than you. Please let us grow old together and look back on these moments and laugh.

Love you, world champion. 💛

view comments

yourusername: 💛 Gosh I love you come back to our room let me kiss you

user71: "let us grow old together" max what if I just died now

redbullracing: So happy for you both 💛

user72: THE THIRD PICTURE?

user73: gonna cry myself to sleep

user74: THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE

user75: UGHFHFHFHD

— fin 💐

— ♟️ a/n : thank you all so much for reading this! This took a while to make, as i was really stuck on how to progress the story further without making it too short. Again, if you have any smau requests, feel free to put them in my asks! Love you all 🦅🦅

[hoshifighting]

Hello! I love your work 🥹 I hope you are well

Just wanna ask your thoughts on how the seventeen members would react to see you driving speed / you being fast on connected apps like ‘Find My’ heheheeheh

Thank you ❤️

a/n: thank u sweetie, i loved it!! im doing well!! <33 i hope i understood well.. like a gearhead girlfriend?... made w/ luv ❤️

WARNINGS: mentions of breakig the speed limit

seungcheol: “yo yo yo, slow the fuck down, we ain’t tryna die today!!” he’s literally shouting through the app, and you could almost see him gripping the imaginary 'oh shit' handle in the backseat. he loves you, but he’s lowkey shitting bricks rn, “bruh, this ain't fast & furious... i swear if we crash, it’s on you.”

jeonghan: sigh “baby, why you gotta be like this?” he’s too cool to actually panic, but you can feel him judging the fuck outta you. he’ll make you feel like the most irresponsible person alive while also making it clear he’s kinda impressed. “next time, let me drive so we don’t both end up with speeding tickets… but like… you kinda look hot doing it though, not gonna lie.” he’s smirking on the other side of the screen.

joshua: “ok but like… are we trying to break a record or what?” he’s nervous but trying to stay calm, but you can tell he’s clutching his pearls behind that smooth tone. “maybe, uh, we could slow down just a tiny bit? just a suggestion...” definitely trying not to freak out completely, but he’s one bad swerve from straight-up praying.

jun’s all for it, honestly. he’s got his phone up to show the speedometer on his end, clearly thriving. “you wanna hit 120? bet, i’m down, let’s fucking go!” jun’s just living it, probably snapping selfies like it’s no big deal while the car’s shaking at 90 mph.

hoshi: “wait—WAIT! y/n, no no NO, what the hell?? slow down before i shit my pants.” he close his eyes, dramatic as fuck, genuinely convinced y’all are about to fly off the highway. nearly crying as he clutches his phone. “i got shit to do tomorrow!! i can’t die today, not like this!”

wonwoo’s just... chillin’. he doesn’t really say much at first. just sends a simple, “you good?” text. he’s the only one calm in this whole situation. when you don’t respond right away, he hits you with, “bet you won’t keep up with the guy in the ferrari tho...” and you’re like, oh shit. he’s egging you on. he's vibing with the chaos, but lowkey wants to see how far you'll take it.

woozi: “y/n, you better chill the fuck out.” straight-up scolding you. no fluff, just pure frustration. jihoon’s too rational for this speed demon shit, and he’s already calculating how much the damn fine’s gonna be if you get caught. “if you crash, you better hope i’m not in the car, ‘cause i ain’t helping your ass.” classic jihoon—pissed, but still kinda impressed at your audacity.

seokmin: “YO, SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!” pure panic in his voice,like he’s watching a horror movie. “do you wanna give me a heart attack? holy shit!!” he’s basically pleading with you at this point, full-on hands shaking, worried sick like a damn mother hen. “i’m way too pretty to die like this, please, for the love of god, just slow down.”

mingyu: WELL THIS MAN HAVE LICENSE FOR IT, no fear at all. “you drive like a fucking beast, lemme hop in the car next time.” he’s fully living for the thrill, no reservations whatsoever. he’s gassing you up like no one would. adrenaline junkie.

minghao’s already over it. deadpan as fuck. “why you gotta stress me like this? i’m way too zen for this shit.”

seungkwan: “OKAY STOP! STOP! i didn’t sign up for this kinda trauma. you tryna die young, huh?!” yelling in the app for you to pull over before he passes out from sheer anxiety. “i’m never getting in a car with you ever again, swear on my life.”

vernon: “i mean, if we crash, we crash. kinda sick though, right?” no panic, no complaints, just lowkey impressed. “but like… how fast can you actually go?”

chan: “y/n, this isn’t a fucking video game!” poor baby is stressed out, clenching his fists like his life’s on the line. “i can’t do this. my heart can’t handle this. you tryna give me a heart attack?!” genuinely scared shitless. “you really gotta slow down before i fucking pass out in the toilet bro”

[criminalamnesia]

thinking about reader and simon who are tied together and have a hawkgirl/hawkman fate.

aka they’re forever cursed to find each other, fall in love, die, then reincarnate and do it all over again for the rest of time.

(timeless by taylor swift is inspiring this lol)

every time the two of you die, when you’re reborn, you don’t remember a single thing. you don’t remember until your eyes meet each other’s again, and then it all comes flooding back.

it scares the hell out of you each time because what the fuck?

you just asked the tall, masked, burly man who was also in the cereal aisle to grab you a box from the top shelf.

and then you meet his eyes and suddenly decades— centuries are flashing through your eyes. you know this man. have know him through many different years, in many different lives.

the flashbacks suddenly stop, and your eyes are wide as you stare up at him.

“did you—” you begin, and he nods.

“what the actual fuck,” you mutter to yourself, glancing down at the cereal box in your hand.

he grunts, and when you look back up, he’s walking away.

“hey— where are you going?” you call after him.

“to a fucking shrink or somethin’. think I’m going fucking mad.”

you shove the cereal box back onto the shelf and hurry after him. he moves fast for such a big man.

“wait, shouldn’t we, like, talk about that or something?”

“what’s there to say?” he replies, not bothering to slow his pace for you as he approaches the exit doors.

“um, I don’t know, maybe ‘hey so we just had a shared flashback montage of us loving each other then dying brutally throughout the last however-many-years?’ maybe something like that?”

he doesn’t respond. you huff as you jog after him. he’s walking to his car— a black truck, and you’d almost roll your eyes at how predictable the vehicle was if it weren’t for the blaring of a car horn.

it’s a split second, and it gives the two of you all the proof you need that whatever the fuck those memories were, they were real.

a car comes skidding into the parking lot, making a beeline straight for you. you turn as the horn cuts through the afternoon air, your eyes widening as you’re about ten seconds away from getting well acquainted with the hood of the car, and then—

the car crashes into the man’s truck and you’re still breathing.

“what the fuck?!” you shriek as adrenaline courses through your veins.

as you attempt to get your bearings, you realize the man is on top of you. he’d saved you, had tackled you out of the way.

“you— you were— you shouldn’t have—” you pant between quick breaths, eyes wide in shock as you stare up at him.

“I…I just had a feeling…” he mutters, and it’s more to himself than it is to you.

he climbs off of you, brushing off his jeans before holding a hand out to help you up. you place your shaking hand in his, and he lifts you with ease.

you look at the crashed car, his ruined truck, and then back to him. bystanders are yelling now, and people are starting to approach the two of you.

“I’m simon.” he tells you, his eyes trained on the wreck.

you tell him your name and he nods.

“guess we’re stuck together now, huh?” he says, and you nod.

“yep. guess we’re stuck together.”

[pierregazly]

ambivalence ꨄ george russell

george russell x fem!gasly!motogp!reader

warnings: mentions of george's crash/dnf from singapore, sad!george, poorly translated french. [wc: 1.5k words]

in which george doesn't know how to feel; he's devastated about his own finish... or lack thereof, but the love of his life just finished P2 in her own race and he can't help the joy from taking over.

mercedesamgf1

tagged georgerussell63

liked by yngasly, georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 406,705 others

mercedesamgf1 he fought SO hard out there. 💪 a heroic effort by george. unlucky to miss out on a well-deserved podium, right at the very end.

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username absolutely gutted for george... but yall really couldn't show up to the podium for your other driver cuz of this??? slimy lol

username it wrecked my heart watching the last 5 mins of that race honest to god (lets celebrate no rbr in the top 3 tho !!!)

username guy signs his contract and starts this shit? sounds like a bit of a mistake huh

username george :((((

yngasly 💗💗

liked by mercedesamgf1 username congrats on ur p2 finish yngasly!!! you deserved it so much

username id sooo have such an ick if i were yngasly rn and my bf and brother both sucked at their jobs today while you kicked ass.... embarizzzing

yngasly

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, pecco63, and 175,543 others

yngasly what an incredible weekend, and an even better race! so proud of the whole team, and honoured to be taking home the p2 trophy this weekend. ciao italy 🇮🇹

view all 1,233 comments

pierregasly nous savons tous qui est le gasly le plus talentueux 💪 (we all know who the most talented gasly is)

pierregasly proud of you! 🤍

username that's our fav motogp girl, kicking ass as always yngasly!!!

username god im so obsessed with her

username she was SO close to that p1 position i was screaaaaaming at my computer omf

georgerussell63 proud of you lovely 💗

georgerussell63 can't wait to celebrate with you when i get to see you angel

username i would die for the relationship georgerussell63 and yngasly have... it's so pure love

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georgerussell63 thank you, love. sorry we both can't be celebrating today. yngasly oh georgie...

The plane left the tarmac almost 7 hours ago, just a few short hours left until it landed in Singapore. The plane’s shifty Wi-Fi allowing you to watch the current race going on in the Singapore streets, your boyfriend maintaining a good speed, and a good position throughout most of the race.

Your stomach dropped immediately when the commentator’s voices picked up, George’s name dropping from their lips as the cameramen panned to his car.

The inner turmoil started the moment you watched the replay of the Mercedes hit the wall during the final lap. You, alongside every other person watching the race, were not expecting such a dramatic end to an even more dramatic race.

It had been an incredible day before this, your own P2 finish still pushing high levels of joy through your body. It had been an exhilarating race, after qualifying in P6 just the day before, you were able to jump up 4 positions, holding everyone off behind you as you maintained your speed and composure to finish the race in your highest finish this season.

You were almost immediately carted off to the airport once all your media responsibilities were completed. You had booked a flight to Singapore that would get you there just a few hours after George’s own race was over, allowing you to surprise him after weeks of being apart.

What you didn’t expect was the internal dread that was currently encompassing your body, unsure of how George would react when you arrived at his hotel door after how his race just ended. He would be happy to see you, regardless, but would he be upset at you for coming after the end of your own successful race? Would he want to be alone? Would you end up having to spend the night in Pierre’s room, leaving George to wallow in his own self-pity?

It was all you could think of as the map showed the flight radar on the screen in front of you, the estimated time of arrival dwindling down the closer you got.

You had texted George the moment you saw his crash.

Are you okay???

That looked bad

I saw the video of you walking away, you looked like you were in pain… I’m so sorry mon amour :(

You drove an amazing race… I’m so proud of you

If you want to talk you know you can call me, I love you :(

He had let you know he was a little sore and would probably be back to the hotel late so he likely wouldn’t be calling you tonight. It’s what prompted you to call Pierre the moment you were off the plane, the phone ringing a few times before he picked up.

“Incredible race! I watched a bit of it before we had to get in our cars, you kicked ass. Jumped up 4 places and everything, let’s goooo,” he trailed off the end with a small ‘woot’ of celebration, his gigantic smile prevalent even through the phone.

“Thanks Pear, but I wasn’t calling about the race. My flight just got into Singapore; do you think someone from your team could come pick me up? Or like anyone? George doesn’t know I’m here… it was supposed to be a nice surprise.”

The sigh was loud through the phone, Pierre agreeing to have someone from Alpine come to the airport.

“You should know… George is devastated. Charles says he was crying his eyes out when he saw him walk by, said it looked like he was super distraught. I don’t know how happy or excited he is going to be about your race today.”

The tears sprouted to your eyes immediately, you had already seen on social media that George may have been seen crying, but to hear it directly from someone who had seen him… the sadness wreaked through your body.

“I don’t care about my own race, right now. I’m happy enough for myself, he needs someone to be there for him.”

It didn’t take long for someone from Alpine to pick you up and drop you off at the hotel. You had bothered one of the men from George’s PR team earlier in the day to text you what room number and hotel he was staying at, promising him it was all for a surprise that wouldn’t cause any issues for George or the team.

Your knuckles rapped against the door in front of you, sounds from inside the room halting the noise encompassed the air. You couldn’t tell if he was coming to the door or not, no noise now coming from the room. Just as you were about to knock again, the door swung open to reveal your boyfriend.

His red-rimmed and puffy eyes were the first thing you noticed, a clear indicator that he had been crying. The small smile that grew on his face was real, a tiny bit of happiness shining in his eyes as he took in who was in front of him.

“Oh, Georgie…”

You dropped your bag to the floor, pushing your body into his. His arms wrapped around your frame, his head pressing into the junction where your neck and shoulder met, your own arms wrapping around his taller frame. You played with the hair at the nape of his neck, holding him as tight as you could, allowing him to push any emotions he was currently feeling into the hug.

“What are you doing here?” He murmured into your ear, his arms tightening around your body as if he was trying to fuse the both of you together.

Shrugging in his arms, you continued to hold his frame tightly in your own. “Thought it would be a nice surprise, was going to fly with you to Japan after and spend some time with you. Haven’t seen you in a while, I guess.”

George pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head before pulling away, a sad smile falling on his lips. “You drove an incredible race today, my love. I’m so proud of you.”

You couldn’t help the pull at your heartstrings as he praised you for your own race, even after the devastating end to his own. It was obvious he was trying to keep the sadness at bay, to not ruin your own accomplishments.

“Thank you, mon amour. I don’t want to talk about my race, though.”

George grabbed your bag as he gestured for you to walk into the room, allowing the hotel door to slam behind you as he placed the luggage next to his own. “I don’t really want to talk about my own race, either. I’d much rather talk about yours.”

He pulled you onto the king-sized bed, immediately wrapping his body around your own as you snuggled into his chest. You could feel his heartbeat against your ear, his fingers rubbing soothing circles on the indent of your spine through your shirt.

“I feel like such an idiot. I’m not a rookie, I shouldn’t be making those kinds of mistakes, I lost complete control of my car at the worst possible time and cost myself one of the best finishes this season. It’s not fair,” he choked the words out, his nose pressing into your hair as he took a deep breath, trying to keep the inevitable tears at bay.

“Georgie… it happens, mistakes happen. It sucks, don’t get me wrong, but we all make mistakes. Do you know how many fuckups I’ve had this season? Don’t get me started on how many Pierre’s had, it doesn’t make you rookie-caliber to mess up one race. You’ll come back stronger from this; I swear.”

You could feel the small shrug of his shoulders as he pulled your body closer to his own, a light press of his lips to the crown of your head the only indication that he heard you.

“I can’t believe you got P2. I was trying to watch it while we were getting ready, someone said you jumped up 4 places huh?”

You nodded your head, a bashful smile pulling onto your lips, “It wasn’t that impressive, I’ve done it before.”

George nudged your side, prompting you to look up at him, a small smile edging onto the Brit’s lips, “That was your highest finish of the season though, darling. I’d say that’s pretty impressive, no?”

“I don’t want to overshadow how you’re feeling to be happy about my own race, mon amour. That’s not fair to you.”

Nudging you again, you felt his fingers dig into your ribs lightly, an indication he was telling you to stop talking. “You’re not overshadowing how I feel, I’m devastated, and I’m pissed at myself for how my race finished. It doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to be happy for you, to feel some type of joy over the fact my best friend just finished P2.”

Leaning up, you pressed your lips to his gently, a ‘thank you’ imbedded in the way your lips moulded together. George pulled you closer, pulling back to rest his head against your own once again.

“At least my crash damage numbers aren’t as high as your brothers. Did you see he finally hit the millions a few days ago? Knew he’d beat me there.”

“Oh my god, George. Not everything has to be a competition between you and my brother.”

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yngasly love you forever and ever mon amour 🫶🏻

i've had a few requests for motogp!reader x george, so i hope this meets your expectations 🫶🏻 i literally know nothing about motogp so i'm so sorry, i tried to make it broad so it didn't seem like im dumb lol love yall!!!

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @sarahedwards16 @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios @ihrtdan @myloverjk-blog @glow-ish @avxntxrine @goldenmclaren

if your name is struck through/bolded it wouldn't let me tag you. please let me know if you'd like to be added to my taglist!

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Rainbow Bridge

Summary: The reader is incredibly confused when in heaven one day, a dog she's never met before appears by her side...

Pairing: Dean x reader (in heaven)

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of pet death/human death

A/N: I wrote this for my fellow pet owners (and myself). Hopefully those little dudes over the rainbow bridge have their own kinds of adventures like these pups while they wait! (and all the chicken nuggies they can eat 😉)

_______

The air shifted, a warm and joyful presence filling the air. You glanced down in your kitchen, an adorable dog with long fur and pointy ears staring up at you with a wagging tail.

“Well good morning to you, cutie,” you laughed, bending down in your pajamas with your cup of coffee, giving the dog a few pets. “Who might you be?”

The dog woofed and the thought Miracle sprang into your head. That wasn’t entirely uncommon. Animals in the afterlife were able to communicate a bit better than they had when you were alive. 

One of your own dogs you’d had when you were alive, your first dog ever, bounded upstairs from the playroom on the lower level that was for them to use as a way station. Sometimes they liked to stick around home, sometimes by your side and others they’d go off and visit their own animal friends they’d made. But generally they kept to themselves first thing in the day.

“This a friend of yours, baby?” you asked your little dog. He ran over to Miracle, sniffing intensely before he snorted. “No huh. Did you just die, Miracle? I know sometimes dogs are a little confused when they get here and you got your young, healthy bodies back.”

Miracle woofed with a slight head shake, your lips pursing. Your own dog pawed at you, resting a little foot on your arm. You hummed at him, the little guy sending you some positive feelings, sensing you were worried.

“Alright. I’ve never heard of a random dog appearing in heaven unless you request one. You show Miracle around the house and where he can do his business while I get ready. Then we’ll try to figure out who your owner is, okay?” Both dogs yelped happily and took off downstairs, a loud crash at the bottom as they slammed into your boot tray. “Careful! Just cause you can’t get hurt doesn’t mean you can be reckless!”

More than one dog barked back in response and you rolled your eyes, heading for your bedroom.

“At least I don’t have to pay vet bills for you guys anymore. Five dogs is only kind of a lot for one eternity.” You heard more barking and groaned. “I wasn’t complaining you mongrels! I was quite pleased to see your little faces when I died. I could have done with a little less face licking though.”

You swore you could hear the faint echo of laughter in their barks as you got ready for the day.

“If I’m not back by supper make sure you boys get some dinner,” you called, heading outside with Miracle. You loaded into your car and headed down the road, thinking you had a problem. Soon you were taking an off ramp you’d not seen before. You wound up in a mostly empty parking lot, Miracle following you out and into the lone building around.

“Take an issue form and fill out everything before returning it to the counter,” grumbled the guy behind the desk, shoving a clipboard towards you. You stepped through the empty waiting room, picking up the board. You opened your mouth to speak when he sighed. “The form is a requirement by the big man. I’m just doing my job.”

“How do you have a job which is arguably the equivalent of working at the DMV, but in heaven? Like, we don’t have jobs.” He flickered his eyes up at you, making you jump back when they flashed black. 

“Demon, sweetie. It’s part of my rehab program so I can someday be like you. By then, some other schmuck in the program will have my job. No more questions.” 

“Okay…” you said, grabbing a pen and taking a seat, Miracle laying down on the floor beside you. You stared at the form, frowning when you didn’t see your particular issue listed.

“Um, excuse me, Mr. Demon,” you said, approaching the counter again, the guy rolling his eyes at you. “My problem doesn’t appear on the form?”

“That’s impossible. Those are the only issues possible of occurring in heaven.” You pointed at Miracle beside you, the guy standing to look down at him.

“I have no clue who this dog is and it’s not my dog’s friend. He just appeared next to me in my kitchen this morning,” you said. The demon stared at you, rubbing his temples. 

“Remember your steps, remember your steps,” he muttered to himself before forcing a smile. “Listen. Dogs don’t get lost in heaven. Either you know his owner-”

“Nope. My dogs don’t recognize him.”

“Fine,” gritted out the demon. “Then you and the owner of this dog are soulmates in some way.”

You blinked at him, the man angrily typing on his keyboard. 

“This dog belongs to a man named Dean Winchester. You and Dean Winchester were alive, somewhat, during the same time. He died a lot younger than you did. You two are…romantic soulmates,” he said, a fax machine going in the back. He got up and ripped off a sheet of paper, handing it to you. “Here’s his address. Now please go bother him instead of me.”

You rolled your eyes, ready to leave when you stopped, glancing down at Miracle. “Do you like, want to pet the dog?”

“Excuse me?” You turned around, the demon still on his feet.

“Well I mean, it’s probably been awhile since you’ve seen a dog or gotten to pet one. You can’t be that horrible if they’re letting you up here with the rest of us. So do you want to pet him?”

It was shocking how quickly the demon hopped over the counter and knelt down next to the dog, giving him a few pats and then a belly rub.

“I had a dog when I was a kid. I can’t wait to see her again once I get out of here,” he said, glancing up at you, seeming to forget he was a demon for a moment. “That was weird.”

“Dogs are kinda perpetually happy here and give off good energy. I’m sure your dog is looking forward to seeing you too,” you said as Miracle sat up and headed for the door. “Apparently I’m on the move. See ya around someday.”

“Yeah. Someday,” he said as you left. Five seconds later, now that you knew where you were going, you popped yourself over to this Dean Winchester’s place. You were standing outside a beautiful two story cabin on a lake, Miracle taking off in a sprint down a dock to where someone was sitting in a chair fishing. 

Your heart felt funny as the man on the dock stood and turned around, cocking his head at you. He gave Miracle a good ruffle before he approached, meeting you halfway across his backyard.

“Hi,” he said with a smile, shaking his head. “I uh-”

You both jumped when your five dogs appeared, running and chasing around a ball in the yard, Miracle joining in after them.

“Your dog popped into my kitchen this morning. I’m pretty sure we’re soulmates. At least that’s what this paper says,” you said, the pack of dogs sprinting around the corner of the house. “I’ve had a few pups in my life.”

“Miracle could do with some siblings,” he said, smirking as you felt a cozy peace inside you. “I was wondering where he ran off to. He normally doesn’t stray far from home. Looks like he was off finding his mom.”

“I thought soulmates were supposed to like…snap together when they’re both in heaven,” you said. He smirked, pursing his lips. “What?”

“I probably wasn’t in heaven when you died. I was jumping around alternate worlds and you look very confused all of a sudden.” You nodded, staring at him wide eyed. “I’m a smidge of a rule breaker…and I kinda know Jack…and took down the old god.”

Your first instinct was to call him crazy but he had no reason to lie. Besides, something ached in his soul, like it had a little bruise on it. This man had known serious pain and then some when he was alive.

“You know, I killed vampires when I was alive. What’s something you did for fun?” he asked. Your jaw dropped, Dean chuckling. “Oh boy. Sweetheart, you and I have some catching up to do.”

“Hi baby,” you said that night as you and Dean laid on a blanket in the yard, your little guy crawling up on the blanket and settling in beside Dean. “Aw, he likes you.”

“He’s protective of you. I can feel it,” he said with a hum. “He hung out with your grandparents a lot after he died. Apparently while you were crying over him on earth, he was chowing down on some of your grandpa’s maple syrup bacon thinking mom’s being overdramatic, I’m gonna see her again. She worries too much.”

You sat up, raising an eyebrow. “How do you know that? My grandparents told me they were with him until my parents got here and he stayed with them a while but dogs can’t talk to us like that here. We can sense them and stuff but we can’t know complete thoughts.”

Dean smiled, scratching behind the dogs ears. 

“Well, I’m a little special. I worked a case where I could communicate with dogs once. It came back up here. This little guy adores the fuck out of you and wishes you hadn’t been so sad back then but he understands. He is pretty awesome,” laughed Dean. 

“And he’s a little shit,” you giggled. “What else does he say?”

“He’s glad you got more dogs over your life and he’s glad you found me finally. Also if we don’t stop talking soon he’s going to go inside and sleep on our bed,” chuckled Dean. “Cranky baby, aren’t you?”

The dog snorted, stood up, licked your nose and trotted off inside with his chin turned up.

“Like I said, he’s a sassy little shit,” you chuckled, Dean pulling you closer. “So Dean. What do you got planned for the afterlife?”

“A bit of fishing here and there. Working on my car. Going out for a drink at the roadhouse. Hanging with my brother. Sneak out of heaven to get up to shit every once in a while, hopefully with you. How’s that sound?” he asked. You leaned over and kissed him slowly, rolling back with a smile. 

“Sounds like a plan, Winchester. Time to start having some fun in eternity.”

___________

[ohisms]

↪ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 , ꮲꭲ 2 . (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” adjust phrasing as necessary . )

damn , [ name ] , how many cars can one person crash ?

i can't help it — when i'm behind the wheel , i'm a slave to the power of the machine .

other people worked very hard to buy those cars , and now they're mine .

why you gotta put me in a cage ?

i'm not a rat , okay ?

shut up , you don't know what you're talking about .

i am NOT joking , i don't wanna do this .

guys , we don't snitch . that's it , end of story .

will you listen to yourself ?? "jUsT tElL tHe tRuTh"

[ name ] , you snitch you die !

pretty sure that was already there when i walked up .

how is this good news ?

everyone's gonna call me a traitor , like you .

don't worry about it , it was worth it .

what are you doing tomorrow night ?

just say the words , and it can be yours .

oh , it's like that , huh ? fine .

what was that ? i can't hear you ... you can't breathe ?

you better figure something out , 'cause if you don't — i'll have to go public with this .

that's called extortion , stupid !

those guys are just covering their own asses , they don't even like you .

as easily as i can save you in this world , i can destroy you .

if anybody messes with you , let us know - okay ?

with a dong like that , you'd think he'd be happier .

do i look like i'm playing , [ last name ] ?

oh , your breath reeks of booze .

i hope you have a plan .

i was up all night watching prep school movies in preparation .

there are some real evil illuminati-type vibes in here , right ?

there was a time i could see , and i have seen .

oh , i'm just getting warmed up .

we are but food for worms , gentlemen .

whose burrito did i just step in ?

get out of here , the tv's mine .

what did you do to my shirt ??

how would you feel if i ran around stealing your clothes ?

we had to kill him cause he wasn't a team player .

no more special treatment for you .

i grew up in squalor , i am perfectly comfortable in it .

[ name ] , don't you dare !

didn't know you were gonna be so weird about it .

if you decide that you don't want me around , just tell me and i will go .

you're not the only game in town , buddy , okay ?

you don't know who i hang out with .

jealousy is the reason people hate us .

you don't have to worry about labels , just like who you like .

i hope this is some sort of emergency .

you kept me waiting , so i'm gonna get right to it .

don't make this your thing , this is [ name's ] thing .

suing is how rich white people solve their problems .

i wanted to sing and show you there's nothing to be afraid of .

i'm so nervous for you ... i want to throw up and run away .

you could have me escorted out , but you have no security .

ooh , dark scary room ! you know what they call that in prison ? they call that a blind spot . great place to catch a shiv .

what kind of operation are you running here ?

you didn't do anything wrong . i was the problem , not you .

where i'm from , the guest gets the good seat .

i drink , smoke , lie , steal ... i'm drunk right now .

i will ruin him . please don't let me do that .

i'm not the one doing whatever you guys are doing ... what are you doing ?

i'm not judging , at least he's a hot mess .

it's the wolf's job to eat the sheep , so y'know ... this was bound to happen .

i will RUIN you when we get home .

i'll give it back to you in a minute , you're gonna get it back .

the suit you destroyed cost a grand !

come on , [ name ] . i'll help you get settled .

he can't know it was my idea .

she made her mean bed and she can sleep in those scratchy sheets .

woah , tough day at the office ?

what the hell did you just say to me ?

you are right ... no matter what you say about anything .

we do this all the time , but usually there's some art to it .

this is not nearly as fun as i thought it was gonna be .

you're letting a bunch of nerds pick on you with their computers ?

why don't you just systematically destroy her ?

i can see where this is headed , so i'm just gonna hit the road .

she ripped me open , stuffed me full of devastation and then sewed me back up again .

leave me alone , this is all your fault .

why are they yelling ? are they angry cause they're bad musicians ?

i will never understand your generation .

let me have it . how bad is it ?

do you have any idea what i saw in there ?

you should come and check out what's going on outside , cause i think you'll be pleasantly surprised .

i just want us to be friends again .

it would be such a silly waste of time for someone like me to be mad at someone as insignificant as you .

the truth is , i pity you .

when the universe gives you a sign , it's not up to you to ignore it .

[ name ] gave it to me . it means i'm in charge .

i'm not comfortable with the whole arrangement . where's [ name ] ?

this is outrageous ! i'm getting passed over again ?

i don't have a problem , i'm just blowing off some steam .

you wanna get in on this ?

you deserve to take a time out as much as anybody else .

sorry , i didn't realize you were the fun police .

having money has reaaally changed you .

i've lost control ?! oh no , you dumb , dumb idiot . YOU'VE lost control .

that's a gross overreaction .

i will show myself the door in a ... graceful and classy manner .

thanks for sticking around .

look , i realize i did some questionable things in there .

i just felt like the universe was giving me a sign .

i'm the only one worthy of its power !

keep it in your pants and follow my lead .

it's no offense , i just don't know you very well .

let's go over this one more time , just so we're clear .

we've already been over the terms .

what's in it for you ?

i like the element of surprise .

wasn't expecting that . are you okay ?

i saw a burglar , i didn't know what to do ... so i SMOKED his ass !

you SHOT me ! what the hell's the matter with you ?

that gunpowder's like a hundred years old , it probably just broke the skin .

what about the police ? they're expecting a gunshot victim .

guys , we've gotta move this along , okay ?

you got it , i'll get you a pillow .

you're lucky no one was killed .

here's the thing about the bordeaux ... i drank it .

i'm so sorry that you had to keep our mansion warm .

how do you think the police found them ?

if you're done criticizing me , i think i'll head on up to bed .

you want me to do the jobs no one else wants ?

can we pick this up tomorrow ? i was shot , so ... i'm very tired .

it has nothing to do with that . okay ? now please leave .

i wanted to thank you for having my back earlier .

that had nothing to do with you . i was just trying to hurt them .

it's chloroform . i found a recipe online .

[ name ] , don't come at me with that .

i was gonna do whatever it takes . i'm not a quitter.

i wanna tell you , i really do . but first there's something i need .

oh my god , you're bailing again .

innocent people don't sneak in and out of their own home .

'cause i don't like you , that's why .

i'd rather get mowed down in a hellfire of bullets than listen to you screech .

you don't have to lie . i heard you guys .

how was i supposed to know you were gonna hug me ? i didn't even know you knew how to hug .

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, so, this will be a stream-of-consciousness type post, because I am this close to starting to print screenshots and do a full murder board trying to make this make sense to someone who is not in my brain, so I'm gonna type this out, and if you're seeing this that means it worked or I just typed for too long to not post lol.

Buck, Actually. Buck, Bothered, and Bewildered. I am not the only person that desperately wants a callback, and I know I'm not the only one thinking about what this might mean for buddie. Well, I've been saying for a while now that I would try to type out something about how buddie has been planned and the answers are in Buck, Actually, and that's what I'm gonna do now, I guess.

We know Buck gets a lot of his ideas of love from Buck, Actually. Seeing Maddie and Chim in the early stages, his own quest with love while moving on from Abby, notably Mitchell and Thomas and the "you don't find it, son, you make it." Buck's quest with love now is at a point where Buck wants to be seen "I feel like she sees me" but he is still at a point where he doesn't want to actually be seen, he wants someone to see what he wants to show, but that's not what actual love is. But still, we start out Buck, Actually with Buck literally in front of a huge sign that says "See Me" (also just to add into my madness about the blue and green in other elements of the scene, love the clear divide of Eddie against the sky and Buck against the sign, and yes I know they can't change the color of the sky or the sign but shh just go with it) with Eddie right above it. Interesting scene composition I think.

But talking about the actual couple here, we have Lola, who feels like her husband doesn't see her anymore after a situation where she feels like she lost herself, their kid went off to college, she has more time to herself, is struggling, and goes nuclear until Norman proves that he does in fact see her, just not in the way she was looking for, dude just wasn't aware there was a problem that needed to be addressed. I know I make everything about the cemetery scene lately, but come on. The whole thing with being seen, Buck not knowing who he is after dying, the expectation he is putting on himself about being the person he was before but he doesn't know who that is, like, come on, it's there.

Then the robbers and the two employees at the gas station, granted the robbers are a lot about Buck thinking about his own ways when it comes to sex and women considering he just had sex with Taylor in a bathroom, BUT here is when I start to go a little crazy. Because Ruth and Earl have that little moment of a relationship developing (hi blue scrunchie green cap 🫶), which we later see has developed, but Earl with his injured right shoulder is talking about how he's hurt but he was only thinking about her safety.

Does that sound familiar to anyone else? Just a thought. Yes, I know I'm crazy, it's fine, it will get worse.

Because another thing about the episode is the whole "till death do us part" thing, with the newlyweds who crashed their car, Mitchell and Thomas dying together, and maybe even Buck having to hold Lola back so she wouldn't fall. I'll come back to this in a second, but you gotta love a nice little crush injury involving a vehicle and a focus on handholding, huh?

But the thing is, Mitchell and Thomas make an impression on Buck, and Mr Self Destruct for Attention because that was the only way I was shown love as a child definitely takes the way they die together a bit too literally. Taylor being in this episode while being blatantly wrong for Buck makes an interesting point on that and the way bucktaylor evolves, because Buck gets the whole you make it, and decides he needs to kill himself to make it work, and it is what he ultimately does with Taylor, he thinks he loves her, he thinks she loves him, and he thinks that means if he doesn't give up he can move past his very obvious reservations about the relationship as a whole because "love is not supposed to be easy". But the whole thing is that Buck focuses on the wrong thing there because while Michell and Thomas died together, they had a whole life together, the point is not the death, it is the life. Yes, you need to fight to make it work, but the fight is not all you have.

Another thing about the episode is the concept of movement too, like, Lola's call on a freeway, both accidents involving a car crash of some sort, the robbery is a chase, even Buck and Taylor in the news van, Maddie talking about how slow being on the freeway is, and metaphorically too, with Madney starting to move towards something, Athena learning to deal with Michael's boyfriend. And Buck finally allowing himself to move on, and move on not going back to his old habits, sleeping with anyone for connection, but actually talking to his love interest for a change.

And we have relationships in all types of moments there, we have Buck and Taylor doomed to fail, we have Maddie and Chim in that nice early stage where you're falling in love with someone, you have Bobby and Athena and the whole when you know you know and the way Bobby proposes the next episode, we have the newlyweds, we have Ruth and Earl making the change in their relationship, we have Robber Guy and Baby Bear realizing that she's more in it than he is, we have Lola and Norman and the whole relationships take effort no matter how long you've been together, you have Mitchell and Thomas sharing a whole life.

There's also the whole layer of having the couple that shows Buck what he wants out of love be a gay couple, the way when Buck realizes Thomas is unresponsive he calls for Eddie first, because Chim and Hen are at the call, and they're not with Mitchell because Mitchell's body is there too, so like, the choice to make sure Eddie would be right next to Buck to comfort him is something.

Also, something else, the inmate who kidnaps them is also called Mitchell, and I cannot explain how I got here for the life of me. But Mitchell, Mitchell, Charlie, Charlie, Ambulance.

I don't know, something about the repetition of names, the ambulance as a key piece of the scene, the bonding, the comfort, the fear, the way Mitchell and Thomas died together, and Buck and Eddie could have died together in all of those situations. And the way Buck volunteers into the danger in all of those situations, he offers to help Eddie with the grenade, he goes to get Eddie without backup while actively being shot at, he runs toward the gunfire because he thinks Eddie is in danger, so like, it's a pattern of wanting to go together.

But also, the madney of it all, because while they are clearly moving towards something, they are not ready yet, but everything is acknowledged, which honestly is my main hope, because I don't think buddie is ready yet, but I would like some acknowledgment that where they're going, yk? And with the episode title possibly being a play with the song about being in love and not showing it, not knowing what to do with it, and the next episode being called "you don't know me" who could also be referencing a song about being in love with someone who doesn't know, we could be looking at real movement happening between the two of them yk?

I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, but if you read this I love you 🫶

[theocddiaries]

[HAVING LUNCH] Bruce: You'll have to start working. Alfred: Won't he have to go to university first? Bruce: Yes, so he can be lazy for another five years. Dick: Hey, hey, hey, I don't even know if I want to go to college. Alfred: And what would you want to do instead? Dick: I don't know yet, I feel like traveling around Europe for a while. Bruce: Oh, of course! Hand me the list of hotels, and I'll start booking your rooms… Jason: If you want, I can join him to keep an eye on him. Dick [Blinks an eye at him while both smile] Bruce: Do you know what I was doing at 18? Dick: Hm… Traveling the world? Bruce: Training to do something useful. Jason: And then you came back to your mansion and millions, doing your 'useful things' comfortably, huh? Bruce: Excuse me, I came back because I wanted to do something useful here, in my city. What do you kids think? That life is a party? That you're going to do nothing until you feel like making a name for yourselves? Dick: Or until you die and we can take your name, whichever comes first. Bruce: Oh yeah? Well, before you kill me from stress, you're going to work this summer. They need cashiers at the supermarket. Dick: Nice. Go to the supermarket to 'be useful' in your city. Bruce: Don't get cheeky with me, and don’t raise your voice at me! Alfred: No arguments at the table… Dick: Bruce, if you're miserable, it's not our fault. Bruce: Listen, I'm very happy. You're the one making my life impossible. Dick: Oh, sure, it's me… Forget about me. Alfred: There, keep listening to me… Bruce: Forget about you? That's it. Give me your dish. You're grounded, go to your room! Dick: Why don’t you go to your parents' basement, Mr Thirty years old? I'll do whatever I want like a grown-up! [Gets up rudely from the table.] Bruce: I swear to God, this kid won't rest until he sees me depressed, crying in bed. And then he'll come to me with his fake apology, 'Oh, B, sorry,' just because he wants to ask for the car keys. Well, there's no car! I'll crash them all into the damn gate! [Gets up in a huff and heads to his room.] Jason: Careful don't electrocute yourself, turn it off first. [Door slams.] Dick: I can slam doors too! [Slams the front door.] Jason: See, Alfred? I told you, we should eat with the TV on.

[bitchinbarzal]

sleeping with the devil | A Fantilli

summary: adam’s dancing with the devil after his girlfriends death

warnings: death, drunk driving, car crash, no real ending.

-

Adam can still remember everything that happened that night, he remembers the screaming, crying, the lights in the hospital.

Luca remembers watching through the window of the hospital room as his parents told his brother the news, him screaming in denial. He was ripping the breathing tubes from his nose and trying desperately to claw his way past his parents to get to you.

Luca remembers holding Adam every night when he’d wake up screaming from the nightmare of reliving that night over and over again.

The only time he was ever at peace was when he was asleep and still then he had to watch you die all over again, the blood dripping down your forehead, your skin so pale. He wanted to just reach out and hold you, but he couldn’t because what came next was the replay of that drunk driver smashing into the passenger side of his car, your body being thrown out the windshield.

He never thought he would go to your funeral, constantly saying he didn’t want to go. His parents and friends tried to change his mind but he wouldn’t budge.

On the morning of the funeral Luca got ready in his suit before walking into Adam’s room, to attempt to convince him.

Instead he walked in on his brother, sobbing into your hoodie.

The sobs were gut wrenching. Much like when a little kid is hurt.

His baby brother was hurt.

Adam was startled when Luca’s hand landed on his back “hey bud… it’s time to go”

Throughout the entire service Adam held his mom’s hand and listened to everyone tell stories about you.

He liked listening to them but he knew nobody in this world could tell stories that would compare to his.

You were his best friend and the stories you shared, they would make Oscar winning movies.

You would always be his star.

After the funeral your parents spotted him and immediately wanted to talk.

“Adam!”

“Oh hi, sorry I haven’t been-“

Your mom cut him off with a hug “It’s been hard for everyone but we know you’ve been struggling. We just miss you”

That night he went back to your house for the first time since the accident and had dinner with your parents. It hurt him so bad but he knew your parents needed it to heal so he put on a brave face.

The first year was weird for Adam.

When your birthday came around, he bought and wrapped a lot of gifts. They were never opened and everyone was a little concerned for him but they let him be, just happy he was ok.

He wasn’t ok.

On your anniversary, he took himself to eat at your favourite pizza place together in Ann Arbor. It was the first time he’d been in since you passed. The guy behind the counter looked at Adam sadly before saying “I’m so sorry about your girl”

He smiled softly before taking his pizza and sitting at your table. He set out a paper plate on your side and even got a bottle of the juice you liked.

“Six years we’ve been dating huh?” He mumbles, biting into the slice.

“Love You so much baby, I miss you”

As the year went on people were less worried, he began socializing more and he was becoming Adam again.

When the draft rolled around his family knew it would be hard.

Luca prayed that the projections were right and that Anaheim would take him. So he could be as far away from here as possible.

That wasn’t the case when he was drafted by Columbus. Walking onto that stage he shook everyone’s hand before looking at the camera and opening his suit jacket to show your name largely embroidered by his heart.

At home, your parents watched on wearing their Fantilli jerseys and crying when they saw his jacket.

Holding one another infront of the tv your dad mumbled “He’s the best kid”

And when he had finished all of his interviews Adam found a text on his phone from your mom

she would be so proud of you adam. Congratulations sweetheart, you’ve made us all so proud!

he replied

thanks mom! love you guys

mom. that was the first time anyone had called her mom since the accident. she held onto that text and looked at it everyday.

Adam’s parents and Luca were concerned about him moving to Columbus.

“Adam just stay in Michigan! Stay with me another year”

Adam sighed and shook his head “No, I want to go and I want to get away with a fresh start”

“But-“

“I can’t be reminded of her in everything I do anymore! I want to go out and not have to avoid eating somewhere because she’s there in my memories” he cried out.

“Adam you need to adapt at some point”

Adam’s head swings around to face his brother, angry tears lining his eyes “I’ll never be able to ‘adapt’ Luca! She’s gone! Dead! I was driving the car-“

“You didn’t kill her!” He shouted back. Part of him wanted to stop the other half knew Adam hadn’t spoken about it and that he needed to get it out.

“I was driving the car!” He screamed, standing up and looking over his big brother “I could’ve saved her!”

“Adam nothing was going to save her” he hand rested on Adam’s arm “there’s only one person to blame and it was the drunk driver in the other car”

Luca stared at Adam’s shaking shoulders as he sobbed silently before he said “The last thing I told her was ‘you’re gonna be ok’ — I lied to her”

Luca leaned forward and grabbed his brother into his hold, squeezing him tight

“It’s gonna be ok”

“I should’ve protected her”

It didn’t take long for Nick to take Adam under his wing in Columbus. It made Luca feel better even if Nick was never his captain the boys had no bad things to say about the Blankenburg boy.

Luca was just happy he’d be looked after.

Adam met Paige at a party, Nick’s birthday party. She was a friend of a friend and they hit it off really well.

Adam wasn’t looking for a relationship and he didn’t tell anybody about Paige but he was enjoying himself, finally feeling free again.

Luca noticed his brothers happier tune over the phone and even asked Nick and Kent what was going on to which they claimed to have no idea.

Adam kept Paige private for a while, hanging out and going to dinner a few times a week. She was nice and they got along really well.

She was pretty, she was gorgeous actually and Adam felt weird about his feelings. He questioned them for a while before he eventually made a move on her in his apartment.

His body was relieved of a lot of anxiety after that, like all of his pent up emotions had just disappeared. Paige felt like a safe place for Adam. She didn’t judge him or ask questions she was just there for him.

Adam didn’t keep pictures of you guys in his new apartment or really any of your stuff with him, all of it resided in his parents house. So Paige never saw you, she didn’t know about you she just though Adam was some hockey player who liked being alone.

The were seeing each other for about six months before Adam made it official, asking her to be his girlfriend.

He’d slowly started mentioning her to his family and friends. The boys immediately calling Nick and Kent for information on the girl.

Kent didn’t like her, he said there was something off but Nick told him to play nice.

Adam took Paige to Ann Arbor to see the team play one weekend and to finally introduce her to his brother and his parents who had flown in to see Luca too. The meeting was fine, as Luca had described it but they weren’t overly eager to meet Paige.

Lately, Adam seemed caught up in hockey and his girlfriend too much so to notice what was going on around him.

That’s why it came as a shock to him when his big brother called him screaming down the phone.

“You didn’t call today? You couldn’t spare five minutes?”

“What are you talking about? What-“

Luca wants to laugh “Are you serious right now? You don’t know what today is?”

Adam scrunches his brows together “No? Should I?”

“You’re fucking with me right? You’re actually kidding me”

There was silence on the phone, both ends, before Luca said “It’s ok Adam I’ll go put flowers on her grave don’t you worry. You just enjoy your little girlfriend I’ll take care of y/n”

Adam’s breath hitched before he looked down at his phone and the date, it was the anniversary of your death.

“Luca I didn’t-“

“You know what Adam? I want you to be happy, I do! But she doesn’t deserve to be forgotten”

She stumbles “I didn’t forget!”

“Oh yeah? When have you visited? Her birthday, Christmas, your anniversary… none of it. You were too busy with her” he spat.

“Hey leave Paige out of this she didn’t do anything!”

“Whatever man, I’ll see you in the off season or whatever”

Adam was hurt. He was hurt because he had forgotten this day, it was too late to call your parents now and he was hurt his brother would dismiss him like that.

He soon shook it off and acted like nothing happened when Paige came over to stay the night.

When the Blue Jackets season eventually finished, Adam had invited Paige to come to Toronto and meet his family and friends from home.

Luca wasn’t too impressed with the idea, opting to stay in Michigan for as long as he could before headed back. He had to go back near the middle of the summer, it was your birthday party.

Every year your parents threw a massive party and they continued the tradition even after your passing instead using it as a space to gather your closest friends and family to celebrate your life.

Your mom and dad had invited all the boys from Michigan as they were some of your closest friends so Luca wasn’t alone with Adam and his new girlfriend.

Adam’s mom and dad weren’t best pleased he insisted on bringing Paige to the party

“It’s a bit disrespectful, Adam!”

“Her parents want me to be happy”

“Yes but they don’t need you flaunting your new girlfriend in their faces and on her birthday party no less”

They lost that argument with Adam not caring and taking her anyway. Paige got lost in the crowds that showed up for your party anyway, your parents didn’t really notice her.

The boys did, however and they weren’t best pleased.

“Who does she think she is?! This is y/n’s birthday!”

As the night drew in and people started to leave, a lot of guests began migrating towards the house. Which is where Adam and Paige were, in the living room trying to get warm.

Paige noticed a picture of Adam on the mantle, walking up to it and holding it in her hand “Why do they have a picture of you in here?”

Adam looked at the picture, from his draft. They were so proud.

“Oh they were really proud of me in my draft, I’ve played hockey here since I was a kid”

Paige’s face scrunched up “still it’s a bit weird your neighbour having a picture of you on their mantle”

Adam frowned “Not really, their daughter was my best friend”

best friend. ouch.

“Their daughter… this is her party right?” He hummed in response “What happened to her?”

Adam gulped and froze for a moment, he hadn’t thought about that night much lately.

“She was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver, underage too when we were in Michigan. I was in the car” he explained. He noticed an immediate uncomfortable shift in Paige’s posture after he said that.

He watched her eyes scan along the mantle some more before she stopped on the last picture, it was you both on the day you moved into your dorm at Michigan.

You were beaming so much and Adam was just happy you were happy. Kitted out in your athletics kit.

“Is this her?” Paige asked, looking at the picture with a slight shake in her voice.

“Yeah that’s Y/N” he said “Are you Ok?”

Paige put down the frame and turned to Adam “I have to tell you something”

He looked worried “What’s up, you’re scaring me”

Paige fidgeted with her fingers before she said to Adam in a whisper “It was me”

“What?”

She shook her head as if she was trying to stop herself “I was the drunk driver” she pointed to the picture of you both “That’s the girl, I killed her”

Adam’s breath got stuck in his throat and he couldn’t speak, he felt like he was drowning in his own body.

It all came back to him then, your screams, the car flipping, the scratching off the road, your sobs, crying out for help and the blood on your face as you looked at him as the life slowly left your body.

“Adam I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! You’ve never said anything about her and you don’t have pictures I didn’t even know her name they just showed me a picture” she cried, desperate for him to say something.

People had started coming in after hearing the commotion

“Whats going on?”

Adam had tears running down his face as he pulled at his hair and looked at her “Paige killed y/n”

“I didn’t know!” She screamed, everyone looked a little alarmed.

Adam’s parents sprung into action and took Paige out of the house with a simple “I think we step outside”

Johnny had turned to your parents and suggested some air “hey guys, how about we head out back again”

Leaving the boys all staring at Adam’s distraught figure in the middle of the room.

The stared for a moment before Luca approached his brother and said

“Nice job protecting her Adam, I’m sure she’s so proud”

Adam sobbed even harder, trying to hard to comprehend all of this.

“I’m sorry!” He yelled out, to nobody in particular as they’d all left him alone now. He was on his knees in tears looking at the picture of you on the mantle and he whispered

“I should’ve protected you, I didn’t protect you”

[marchsfreakshow]

Stars [Stan Bowes]

Fluff / Angst

Star watching was your favourite past time, always had been. So it's no suprise that Stan wanted to join you this time around.

Erm first Stan thing pls be nice to me this will sound horrible. I'm currently on Stan Bowes brainrot I fucking hate him he's an asshole but I also adore him it's very annoying. So.. expect this to be self-indulgent.

Not proofread lol.

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Stars are the least lonely things in the universe. Other stars are constantly surrounding, never leaving alone.

Which is why you supposed they were so interesting to watch late at night. A lonely one in the sea of other stars. Tonight was no other night. Just the hill away from the city, with a blanket resting on it. You looking up and admiring those stars. It was silent, as silent as you could get when you could hear the hum of city life in the background. That was, until another car pulled up on the dirt road behind you.

Looking back into the night, you could only see a figure walking up to you. They reached the blanket and sat down next to you. "Room for another?" Ah, the man you were currently in lust with. Despite the instant guilt tugging at your heart, you went for his lap, curling yourself up on his chest and his shoulder. "Missed me that much huh?"

"Yeah.." You admitted sheepishly, glancing up at Stan. The moonlight only glowed, an unnoticeable light shining on the both of you dimly. The only response you got from the man was him lifting your chin to meet his eyes, pressing a kiss softly to your lips. The softest, sweetest kiss Stan had ever given to you.

Another star shining brighter than the one you focused on earlier. Your focus shifted to that star. "Never noticed how pretty the sky looks.."

"because you're never paying attention to the night sky. You're too busy..."

Silence for a few moments. Another stinging guilt pulling at your heartstrings. Maybe you shouldn't've said that. It pulled the both of you back to that disheartening reality. It wouldn't cause a beautiful supernova like the stars do when they die. It wouldn't be like any breathtaking space view you imagined. The reality was rocks and dust hurling itself through another planet, crash after crash. Never finding a moments peace. A reality that you didn't want ever. But one you were most likely stuck with.

The lust would only work for so long, and you both knew it.

"I'm sorry."

Dimly lit eyes close to yours as those words were spoken. "Those words shouldn't be towards me Stan."

He shook his head. Rested his head to yours, just enjoying a few moments of quiet. Quiet under those damned stars. Those stars that meant absolutely nothing but everything to you at the same time. Remicisint of this horrid, dreadful yet thrilling and love filledl affair. A love filled affair...

Love...filled..?

That's not right. It shouldn't be love, never. It was always lust. Love only made your hear-

"love...a shooting star." Eyes away from the man, up at the black and purple sky, a quick shoot of light over your head. To be with Stan without guilt. That's what you wanted. To be his pretty face hanging off his arm as he drove you around those places you loved.

Another kiss. Another sweet, soft kiss pressed your parted lips. Carried on as you found yourself, losing your soul into his once again.

Those damned stars.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tags: @babygorewhore / @taintandviolent / @oceanblvd111 / @nahoyasboyfriend / @coentinim / @slutforgarlogan / @briaroftheroses @am3ricanh0rrorwh0re /. @evanpeterspeter / @feefymo / @fear-is-truth / @lacucarachapisser / @marchsfreak / @saintlucretia / @jazz-berry / @corrodedmilk

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Songs to Grow Flowers To

I've been re-reading a lot of your fics in Ao3 these past few days, and I've had this idea for a while and I figured hey, why not ask? Basically, human AU, Aromantic-but-not-out Virgil with Hanahaki, and a best friend who is the only one who knows about the Hanahaki and is really worried (I picture Patton in that role, but if you think of a way one of the others would fit better the ideal, by all means go for it! I'd like to see your spin on it :] ) and they keep telling him to tell his crush or whatever and Vee's like "...no". And it ends up being bc of his family(? His parents or sth, bc it's not romantic love, but he's afraid of saying that to his best friend because it would crush them (and it's like, true that whoever it is for doesn't really care about him, so it makes it more angsty-) idk why this popped up in my brain but I can't stop thinking about it- . Maybe hurt/comfort with the friend group finding out and helping him in some way so he doesn't die(? ;w; – anx-fander

Read on Ao3

Warnings: hanahaki, car crashes, hospitalization

Pairings: gen (yeah i know for a hanahaki fic huh ^_^ )

Word Count: 2311

A series of songs Virgil listens to as flowers grow in his lungs. Chronic hanahaki isn't what people think it is. It's not blooming flowers from unrequited romantic love that ends in tearful confessions or the cold nothingness of the surgery. And Virgil, who isn't out as aromantic to even his closest friends, has no intention of letting anyone convince him it could ever be a good thing.

This isn’t supposed to be one of those stories. Chronic hanahaki isn't what people think it is. It's not blooming flowers from unrequited romantic love that ends in tearful confessions or the cold nothingness of the surgery. It's months of not being able to breathe quite right, of stuffing petals into trash cans, of cough drops and medication that's supposed to help keep the worst of them from taking root and long nights in the bathroom lying on his back with a vibrating vest to shake loose the brambles from the insides of his lungs. It's feeling the change of the seasons and knowing that it's going to be hard until fall, of knowing that for every moment he spends outside it's just going to be harder and harder when there's ambient pollen and he'll be sneezing and coughing his lungs out if he isn't very, very careful. Hanahaki isn't glamorous, it isn't romantic, it isn't the key to unlocking a whirlwind love. It's just painful and very stubborn.

Virgil puts on Que Sera Sera as he walks outside, pulling his hood up over his head.

Somewhere along the way, they’re figured out that it’s not really unrequited love that causes hanahaki, not necessarily. It’s emotional neglect. So when his parents still care for him—because of course it's his parents, of course it's the one root he relies on and it's chosen to only feed him sparingly, because they had a child because it's what they were supposed to do and not because he was truly wanted—he's surprised when he still throws up a mouthful of petals. Then he figures out it’s out of obligation, and he doesn’t realize that only makes the flowers grow faster. He sits in the garden one day when he spits up a full flower for the first time. He gives it to his mom, because he's only a child still and he wants to give his mother a flower, and swallows another when she smiles blandly and doesn't bother to bring it home with them when his father says it's time to leave. It becomes much harder to hide all the blood the next time.

July plays over his headphones as he does his homework, a trash can next to him filled with tissues and bloody petals.

Patton is the first one to notice and he’s frantic. He's about to call every single doctor he knows—or that his family knows—when Virgil finally gets him to calm down. He has his diagnosis, he has his treatment plan, he's got everything he needs to be fine, so Patton doesn't need to worry. But Patton won't listen. He's harping on about how Virgil needs to just tell his crush, it isn't worth dying over, that he's worth loving, he is, he really is, but he doesn't realize he's sort of making it worse. Because if this were just about that, about a romantic attraction, then yeah, it wouldn't be that much to worry about. Virgil likes to think that when it counts—and life or death scenarios definitely count—he's not actually that much of a coward. But maybe he is, because Patton just keeps saying how wonderful Virgil is, how much anyone would be able to love him, about how easy it is to love him, and Virgil can't help wondering then why don't they love me? He doesn't tell Patton this, of course, but he does break out into a coughing fit and Patton promises he won't push, not right now.

Virgil puts on This is Gospel as he goes to meet Patton for their walk, smiling as a dog sniffs at his boots.

Some of the other students figure it out and they’re still young adults so…well, you get the picture. It isn’t the teasing that makes it that much worse, it’s not the fact that he can’t explain that it’s not the kind of love they think it is, it’s not even the fact that some of his professors try to chime in not knowing the full story, it’s the fact that when he tries to tell his dad he's being bullied, he doesn’t believe him. Well, he doesn’t believe it’s a problem. It takes until Logan finds him one evening crying in front of two of them that someone actually does something about it. Some part of him should be satisfied at the fear emanating off the two in the face of Logan's rage, but he’s too focused on keeping the blood and petals inside his mouth. He can’t speak until Logan asks him to go wait for him at his dorm, and he throws the flowers up over the edge of a railing once he’s out of earshot. He bites his lip in order to have an excuse for the blood Logan finds at the corner of his mouth when he brings Virgil inside for a cup of tea as part of an apology for letting it get this far. He warns Virgil about how hot it is, not knowing he uses the scalding drink to burn away the petals in his throat. Each soft word Logan utters is another thorn snagging the inside of his lungs, each kind touch another breath he won’t be able to take. He gets the courage to ask Logan for a hug and feels the vines twist into a straight jacket. 

He sits on the ground, his back against a nearby wall, She Used to be Mine playing softly from his phone.

It's parents' weekend. His parents don't come, and that's bad enough. but then Roman and Remus invite him to come hang out with their parents while they're here. He sits with them at the restaurant and he's included in the conversation, but it's painfully obvious he is not their child. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom more times than is probably polite, but that only makes them worried, not upset, and he can feel the flowers getting worse. He manages to put on a smile to enjoy dessert and Remus remembers that tiramisu is his favorite. They split a piece and pick up another to take back to the dorm. As they drive back, a truck skids on ice and crashes into their car. Virgil manages to drag himself out of the wreck, trying to pry the others out too. He gets Remus and Roman out, but their parents are stuck. They're all crying, screaming at them to wake up, to try, and by some miracle, everyone survives. An ambulance arrives to take them to the hospital. The meds they give them make them loopy as all hell, so as they patch them up, he hears Roman and Remus's parents rambling deliriously about how much they want their boys to be okay, how much they love them, how important they are, please, just help my son, just tell me my son's okay. Virgil feels a very persistent branch crawling up his throat and the EMT next to him just stares at him with wide eyes before yelling for something Virgil doesn't hear before he passes out.

Virgil clicks through his music library, picking Irrelevant and jamming his headphones into his ears, shoving his hands in his pockets and stalking away.

Roman and Remus are lucky. They each escape with only superficial wounds. Their parents are lucky too; their dad has a broken arm, their mom has a slight concussion, but other than that, it's all fine. Virgil swallows the blood and smiles, happy to see them okay. So happy, he encourages them to go, he'll be okay, he probably won't be here for that much longer—he lies, Janus would be so proud—and they leave but promise to be back the next day. He makes another joke about savoring the time while he can before their mom asks if the hospital's called his parents yet. He lies again. He manages to hold back the vomit until they've all vanished out the door. 

He lies there half asleep, Skinny Love playing in his earbuds.

The doctor tells him that he’s only got a week at most, even though he knows how to fight this disease; he’s already lasted much longer than anyone ever anticipated. He says that he has medication, he has a treatment plan, but the crash did some damage that can't be corrected without surgery. And if they're performing a surgery on his chest, then they can't do it and leave the flowers there. The doctor asks for his emergency contacts. Virgil asks them not to tell his parents. It won't make a difference anyway. The doctor says they have to tell someone who can make medical decision for him, and he swallows his mouthful of blood and asks if there's any way they can speak to the on-campus doctor instead. The doctor leaves, promising to try, and Virgil buries his face in the pillow to cry.

He gets asked, once, what his favorite song is at the moment, and he says he doesn't know. When he walks home that night, listening to People Help the People, he thinks that maybe he's never had a singular favorite song.

Roman and Remus get back to campus and their parents fuss over them to no end. Patton and Logan and Janus all fret that they left Virgil in the hospital, they have to go back for him. They promise that he's alright, he's being looked after, that the hospital already called someone else for him. That's enough to soothe Logan and Janus, but not Patton.

Not Patton.

They all come back to the hospital the next day, distraught. Logan flies into his room as Virgil's throwing up more petals and he’s so angry, angry that Virgil kept this from them, angry he can’t do anything about it. Virgil says no, this isn’t your fault, you’re not responsible for my feelings, none of this is on you, I decided not to tell you. He never even intended for any of them to find out, actually, he never expected them to do anything about it. 

The doctor tells them he’s been fighting it better than anyone they’ve ever seen, but he asked them not to call his parents. Roman and Remus's parents promptly ask why, and when Virgil stutters and stumbles over any explanation, their mom looks at him with tears in her eyes and asks if it's them, if they're the ones causing this pain.

He stifles a sob and Patton starts crying. Roman and Remus clutch each other and Janus has to leave the room. Logan just stares at him and then looks to the doctor and asks what they have to do to fix this.

The doctor tells them that he's extremely emotionally neglected, that he needs to have a very strong support network built up around him before there's any chance of a full recovery. He still needs some level of surgery to repair the damage done to his chest, but they'll try to be as careful as possible. Virgil's about to say that they don't have to be here for this, but the twins' dad comes and sits right next to him, taking his hand a giving it a squeeze. His friends come and crowd around his bed, promising they're gonna be right there with him while he tries to recover.

For the first time in a long time, the feeling doesn't make Virgil want to cough.

“I care a lot about people, in general," he shyly explains to the twins' parents when he's out of the hospital "but I have absolutely no idea how they work. None whatsoever. There are so many weird rules about how much you’re allowed to care about someone else and in all sorts of very specific ways that I don’t get. So I default to caring a lot very quickly. I don’t expect people to do it back, mostly because they seem to get the minutiae that I can’t see. I get scared because I’m always sure at some point they’re going to hate me for it. The more I care the more scared I am. But it’s not their burden to bear, it’s mine. Is…is that alright?”

“Oh, you poor boy, come here. You're an incredible son, an incredible person, any parent should be so proud to have you as their child.”

"And for those who can't, that's their loss. You're our kid now."

"We have another brother!' Remus whoops as his mom pulls Virgil in for a very gentle hug.

Virgil can't stop smiling through his tears, even as his chest feels like it's about to explode.

"In a good way, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. In…in a good way."

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[snailstep-and-her-clan]

So how did Tuliptail die and how did her parents react? Also do they have anymore kids?

This has been in my inbox for a while because I needed to figure out how to approach it.

I know the people who follow blogs like mine are mainly here for the pretty pictures, but a comic seemed like such a difficult undertaking for this particular part of the story.

And even though I am a writer, I haven't had a lot of energy to write these days even though I know exactly how this would play out...

So lets try a very bare bones script like how I would format the dialogue in my comics !

Here goes:

The Carrion Place

*Snail and Tulip are on a hunt together as new warriors. they pause at the top of a steep hill overlooking the carrion place (dump/scrapyard)*

Snailstep: Do you remember the scary stories Magpieleap would tell during leafbare when we were little?

Tuliptail: You mean about the rat king?

Snailstep: That's the one. Do you think it's real?

*the two of them stare down in silence for a moment before Tuliptail starts to climb her way down the hill.

Tuliptail: Well, only one way to find out!

Snailstep: Huh? wait- what are you doing?! We've been told to never go in there!

Tuliptail: Yeah, when we were apprentices! but we're warriors now.

Snailstep: So what? not even the senior warriors go in there! you can get cut up by twoleg rubbish and you can't even hunt the rats because they just make everyone sick, remember?

Tuliptail: who said anything about hunting them? I just want to have a look around. You don't have to come if you're going to be a mouseheart. *passes the threshold of the wide open chain link gate*

*snailstep hesitates, looking anxious and frustrated, before following after her sister, ears flat and tail bristling*

*as the two girlies vanish into the junkyard, the ghost of Firebright follows after them*

*Tuliptail is curiously sniffing and messing around with random scrapped items, meanwhile Snail is looking tense and glancing around*

*A rat skitters past, knocking several things down a huge pile of junk and Snail jumps back, arching her back*

Snail: That rat was the size of an apprentice!

Tuliptail: really? I must have missed it.

Snailstep: Look, we've had a look, can we go now? this place stinks of rats and twoleg filth, and it's giving me the creeps!

Tuliptail: The creeps? come on, its smells but it's not like there's anything to really be scared of so far.

Snailstep: It just feels like we're being watched, and I don't-

*more twoleg junk crashes and clatters, making both cats jump. there is a dark hollow in the rubbish, and Tuliptail slowly approaches it. Snailstep hesitates, but takes a few steps forward*

*the ghost of Firebright suddenly appears beside her (Nelly's ghost in the car in haunting of hill house style), screaming* RUN!!!

*the rat kind emerges, a great swarming pile of rats that descends upon the two cats, overwhelming them*

*fighting off any rats that attack them, the two she-cats flee blindly into the dump, pursued by a mod of large rats, Firebrights ghost running alongside Snailstep*

*as snailstep runs, she passes a dog house, and the junkyard dog lunges from the darkness, snapping at her. Tuliptail launches herself onto the dogs face before it can do anything. a two leg sitting on the porch drinking a can of beer stands up, shouting as the two cats keep running. The dog is chained and cannot follow, straining at its chain and snapping. The two leg grabs a shotgun and aims at the fleeing cats*

*there's a loud explosion sound, and Snailstep keeps running and running until she's far into shadowclan territory unable to run anymore. she looks around and realizes that Tuliptail is no where to be seen. Snailstep yells for her, frantically searching (think Bambi when his mom died)*

*back at the carrion place, the twoleg grabs the lifeless body of a cat and throws it into the piles of filth. when he's gone, the rats begin to creep out from hiding to inspect it*

How did the parents react?

Something like this:

But also have some actual writing:

Duskheart sat at the gnarled roots of the great oak, his stiff shape blocking the entrance to Cherrystar's den like a heavy stone. He greeted her approach with one terse sentence.

"Cherrystar doesn't wish to see anybody."

Not even me? The words died in Snailstep's throat. Duskheart's hard, unreadable face told her the answer.

"Oh. Ok." As Snailstep turned away in defeat, tail dragging in the dust, she felt Duskheart's cold blue eyes fixed on her back.

He wishes it had been me instead. The thought pricked her like thorns, and she flinched. Duskheart may not be a demonstrative mate or father, but Tuliptail had been his kit. He must resent Cherryspeckle's adopted kit for surviving when his own blood had not.

***

"Have you eaten?" Duskheart's voice pulled Snailstep from the deep dark hole that had been steadily swallowing her up. Her former mentor stood over her, glaring down at her.

"I- I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask if you were hungry, I asked if you'd eaten."

"no." Snailstep scored her claws into the dark soil, looking away.

Duskheart turned and padded away without another word. Snailstep curled back into a tight ball and closed her eyes.

The feel of fur pressed against her back and the scent of sparrow made her look up. Duskheart was laying beside her, shoving the bird under her nose with a paw. "Eat."

She shoved it away irritably. what was his problem? "I said I wasn't hungry."

"Mousefang told me you've not had a meal in almost two days. Eat."

Why does anyone care?

"Just give it to the queens or something." Snailstep turned her back on him, rolling back into a ball like a pillbug.

"Are you ill?" Duskheart asked curtly. "Do you need Mousefang to check on you?" She could hear the vaguest hint of sarcasm in his mew.

"Leave me alone Duskheart." She growled. "You're not my mentor anymore."

"But I'm your father."

His words made her sit up and stare at him. To her even further confusion and amazement, Duskheart leaned forward, awkwardly licking her between the ears.

"Cherryspeckle and I have already lost one daughter." He murmured in his low, cold voice. "I have no intention to sit idly by while our other one starves herself to death."

Snailstep tried to choke back a sob but failed. Duskheart continued to silently groom her as the tears welled up and spilled out onto her paws.

[anukkuna]

Day 2: Favourite Spatort Character

Adam Schürk.

Look, I know this is complicated... but feel like I just get him, okay?

I get not being able to talk openly about your feelings. Feeling trapped and unaccepted by parts of your family but still staying and trying to care for others. Parents not doing their job. Having to grow up too early, avoiding conflict.

I get trying and failing to stop a parent from drinking.

I get leaving, because you can't cope.

I get staying away, because fuck all of this.

I get returning to unfinished business... and returning to people you haven't talked to in a very long time. Not because they don't matter to you, quite the contrary.

Maybe because you thought, you were a burden to them. Maybe because you didn't have the words yet. Maybe you just had to break out.

I get that it's shitty for people. For what it's worth: I also get being sorry. More than that, feeling remorse and guilt to your gut, because you left and never said a fucking thing. But still dreaming, planing, thinking so often about an option to return. To return for good, set everything right.

Thing is, the asymmetry is so shitty for the others. What good is it to them you keep thinking about them from afar? If they'd die in a car crash tomorrow and you had never told them what they truly mean to you, it'd be shitty. Plain as that.

But when you think of them from afar this worry remains. The feeling of: if I ever go back, I need to be sure. I need to be done with the chaos, I need to have found myself, otherwise I will just be a burden again, and again and blahblah.

Turns out: you may never really be done with becoming yourself (no shit, huh?). So waiting for that is a shitty reason to never engage with those who need to hear your apology for leaving and not saying a thing, even though you had reasons. Anyways.

I get having a huge crush on your best friend (of the same gender) and yet never telling them. Which amplifies the guilt.

I know that last part isn't canon but it's how I read Adam - and I don't seem to be the only one.

Finally, I also think that's what makes Spatort so queer. You'll attract the people whose stories you tell - and Adam's experiences relate to many queer people (even if they need not be intentionally plain-text-queer ).

It's why, for me personally, Adam is my favourite character. By god, he is a flawed clusterfuck, but very often I feel like one too. I feel like we have some things in common and it's nice seeing someone whose experiences you can relate to struggle - but overcome them!

Also puts a fucking mirror to my face. Cope with your stuff to and talk to people. Jesus, why don't you two morons talk, Hörk, goddammit. Reminds me myself to heed this advice from time to time.

So, yeah, that's why.