#how I would fix this…..I’ll make a post about that actually cause I have a few other Smurfs I’ve got a problem with…while also praising some

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

[animationismycomfort]

I feel like clumsy smurfs personality in every iteration is kinda bad

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it

[f1angelz]

Hey there , saw your requests open soo

Carlos x fem reader

The reader is pretty closed off, calm or unemotional person, works in academia. Somehow her and Carlos are dating and it hasn't been that long. Carlos wants to know more of her and like form an emotional bond but the reader is pretty nonchalant. But he notices that she's much more reactive when they're having sex or getting yk. And he uses that to his advantage to get her to say I love you back (she loves him but never says that)

You can take your time. No worries (•‿•)

𝒄𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒆? — carlos sainz x f!reader

summary: everyone’s shocked how y/n is carlos sainz’s girlfriend. her personality didn’t really show it— calm and nonchalant, never really the type to open up even towards carlos. will he be able to change that?

content warnings: smut (18+) mdni, cunnilingus, bathroom sex (but there’s no penetration so idk if that’s still considered), not proofread again 😭 please excuse errors you might encounter.

this fic contains super basic spanish words!

── .✦

“No, are you serious?”

“Miss Y/L/N? Dating THE Carlos Sainz?”

“I know, why hasn’t she told us? If I were her, I’d be bragging about it everyday.”

“Maybe that’s why she had someone substitute for her Friday class, she was at the race last week.”

Said the students who gossiped over their TA, Y/N.

Recently, a picture of Carlos and Y/N in the Ferrari garage was released all over social media. It went viral, the post reaching almost a million likes.

Y/N obviously wasn’t the type to post content of her boyfriend. She was rather reserved, her social medias were private and little to no posts— she didn’t even have a TikTok account.

Even at the start of their relationship, Y/N didn’t know Carlos was an F1 driver. She only found out when he invited her to a race.

The sound of Y/N’s heels clicking against the marble tiles echoed throughout the hallway, making her way towards the lecture hall. She pushed the laminated wood door open and the students immediately fell silent, watching her as she made her way towards the desk.

“Mr. Sanders won’t be able to make it today, so he won’t be able to deliver a lecture.” Y/N said while she brought out her laptop and placed it on the desk. After the students heard the news, they whispered a small ‘yes’.

“However, he has instructed me to create a quiz on last week’s lesson.”

The students groaned.

Y/N opened her laptop, “The quiz can now be accessed, you have 1 hour to answer. Goodluck.”

The students got to work and Y/N as well, answering several emails and creating lesson plans for the next semester.

Work never really seemed to end for her, she was always glued to her laptop— and when Carlos wanted to spend time with her, it would take a long persuading to do so.

1 hour quickly passed by and Y/N stood up, “Please submit your quizzes. Late submissions 2 minutes after will incur deductions. Once you have finished, you may leave the lecture hall.”

Some students who were already finished left as instructed while others were still fixing their things.

Just as Y/N was about to fix her things too, her phone vibrated and a notification appeared.

Carlos: Mi preciosa, what time do you get off work?

She opened her phone and replied.

Y/N: Now, actually. Why? My 11 to 3 pm class got cancelled.

Carlos: I was wondering if we could grab lunch? I’ll fetch you from work.

“Miss Y/L/N?” A voice interrupted, Y/N looked up from her phone and saw a group of students surrounding her.

“We’d like to ask what’s the passing score? One of them asked.

“Passing is 25.”

All of them let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Miss. See you next week!” They replied and slowly walked away “We hope to see you in the race next week.” One joked, causing their elbow to be nudged.

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed upon hearing the statement, causing her to stand up. “Excuse me?”

“Oh, well you’re all over social media right now, Miss. We know you’re dating Carlos Sainz.”

“Yeah, why haven’t you said anything? It’s something to brag about.”

Y/N inhaled deeply, “Yes, I’m dating Carlos Sainz. Why does that matter? It isn’t my responsibility to announce my relationship status. Now, please leave the lecture hall.”

The students were stunned and they apologized. They left the hall, leaving her all alone.

Y/N huffed and grabbed her things, closed the lights and left the hall.

She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and messaged Carlos, telling him that she was already off work and already walking towards the exit.

Carlos was already parked outside of the University. Among all the other cars parked there, Y/N knew which one was her boyfriend’s car. She walked towards his car and knocked on the passenger’s door, Carlos opened it and greeted her with a warm smile.

Y/N smiled back and sat in the passenger’s seat, closing the door.

“How was work, amor?” Carlos asked as he started leaving the parking lot.

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“I guess?” He questioned.

“My students found out that we’re dating.” Y/N sighed and fixed her hair on the mirror.

“How’d they find out?”

“I don’t know, I told them off and I left the lecture hall immediately.”

Carlos glanced over to her, “Amor, what about it if they found out we’re dating? You’re smart, beautiful, and definitely more than what I deserve. What’s the worry?”

“Nothing.” She shrugged off Carlos’ question.

Their lunch ended on a good note and went home immediately after, at Y/N’s apartment.

Y/N tapped her keycard against the door lock, pushing it open. She took off her heels and placed it on the shoe rack behind the door, Carlos’ actions following hers. The cold beige colored marble tiles made contact with feet, her thin socks barely giving her any warmth.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Y/N announced, making her way towards the bedroom and Carlos hummed in response.

He always wondered why she wasn’t as open towards him. Sure, she’s shared some things about her past, and her life in general, but she never really shared anything regarding her emotions.

Although she’s somewhat affectionate, it’s still a shock to her how she really just couldn’t say the three words that meant the most— I love you.

The sound of metal clinking on the ceramic jewelry plate resonated throughout the bedroom, Y/N taking off her accessories before she showered.

“You’re so beautiful, you know?” Carlos leaned against the bathroom’s doorway, watching Y/N as she unbuttoned her blue silk button down top. She looked towards his direction, flashing him a small smile.

As she was about to unbutton the last one, Carlos wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close, closing the gap between them. His hands wandered, while he placed soft kisses on Y/N’s neck.

“Carlos..” Her words fell, lost in his kisses. “— what are you doing..” She let out a soft moan.

“Te gusta, Mi amor?” Carlos said in between kisses, slowing making them aggressive.

“Si…” Was all Y/N managed to let out.

It was like Carlos turned on a switch in her brain, he never saw her like this. Submissive, melting even at the slightest touch.

Out of desperation, Y/N guided his hand towards her right breast, pushing her bra. Carlos played with her nipple, tugging and pulling on it. Y/N looked at herself in the mirror in front of her, desperate and needy for her lover’s touch.

She finally removed her top, only leaving her in her bra and panties, her slacks gone even before Carlos entered.

“Hermosa.” Carlos said under his breath, looking at Y/N’s figure on the mirror. She turned around and faced him, pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. “May I take this off?” Carlos asked in between kisses and tugged on her bra strap, she hummed in response. With one swift movement, her bra fell loose, letting it drop on the floor.

Carlos pulled away and unbuttoned his linen polo, tossing it somewhere. Y/N couldn’t believe what was in front of her— it was her first time seeing Carlos topless. She placed a hand on his chest and he watched, her hand slowly going down towards his crotch.

Before she could unbuckle his belt, Carlos inched towards her, causing her to lean against the sink.

“Sit on the counter for me, yeah?” And she obliged, her feet hanging off the counter.

Y/N’s hands wandered along his chest and arms, desperate for his next move. Carlos brought his hand towards her left breast, kneading it as his mouth latched onto her right nipple. She felt herself getting wet, her core beginning to feel a familiar tingle.

Carlos pulled away for a moment, “Is this okay?” She nodded, her free hand making its way towards her core, ready to touch herself. But Carlos was quick to stop her, “Ah ah, no. Let me.”

“Por favor, Carlos.” Y/N begged, growing impatient.

Carlos laughed, “Since when were you so impatient, amor?” He took off her panties and tossed them aside, revealing her wet core.

Y/N spread her pussy lips apart, her clit exposed and covered with her wetness. Carlos went on his knees and placed kisses on her inner thigh, inching closer towards her pussy. Y/N grabbed his hair, desperately wanting to be touched.

He placed his thumb on the entrance of her pussy, spreading her wetness around. Y/N’s breath hitched, “Fuck, Carlos.” He licked her clit gently, his thumb still toying with her entrance.

“You love this, no?” Carlos taunted, his licks now turned into sucking which made her crazier.

“So— so much, f-fuck! More!” Y/N moaned out, her grip on Carlos’ dark brown locks tightening.

Carlos picked up the pace, her sounds of pleasure growing louder and louder each time his tongue grazed over her clit.

Y/N brought her hand towards her breast, pinching and twisting her nipple to stimulate herself.

Carlos couldn’t believe the sight before him. Her chest heaving up and down, breaths shaky from the work his tongue was doing on her pussy.

He felt that Y/N was cumming soon, her wetness growing even more. “Are you close, amor?” Y/N nodded like her life depended on it, “Si, amor— fuck! I’m so close!” She struggled to say, her orgasm nearing.

“You wanna cum?”

“Yes, please— please! I want to cum!”

“Tell me that you love me, and I’ll let you cum.” Carlos stopped sucking on her pussy and rubbed her clit with his thumb instead, in a painfully slow motion.

“W-what?” She breathed out, unsure of what he said.

“Tell me you love me.” Carlos stood up and pulled her closer, his middle and ring finger rubbing her clit as he picked up the pace.

Y/N jaw remained open, unable to comprehend what Carlos said.

“Cat got your tongue, amor?” He smirked and rubbed even faster, the sound of her wetness spreading around her skin.

“A-ah! I love you— fuck! I love you, C-carlos!” She screamed as her orgasm came over her, her legs tightened on his hips. Carlos groaned, giving her wet pussy a slap before slightly pulling away.

Y/N processed what happened, she actually said I love you.

How did that happen?

Still recovering from her orgasm, she was panting heavily. Carlos took a good look at the sight in front of him, satisfied with what he did.

“If it takes an orgasm for you to say those words,” Carlos panted, running his hand through his hair. “Then I’d give you an orgasm everyday.”

Y/N let out a laugh, “I never really said I love you because I thought it was too early.”

Or maybe because she wasn’t used to it.

“Amor, I’ve always wanted to hear those words come out of your mouth ever since we’ve started dating.” Carlos cupped her cheek, looking into her eyes. “Por favor, mi amor. Please say I love you more often.”

“But that means I wouldn’t be able to get orgasms anymore.” She joked, Carlos laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you cum anytime you want.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

“I love you, Carlos.”

“I love you too, mi preciosa.”

── .✦

a/n: this was a experience to write! i haven’t written smut in a while 😭

[pastanest]

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

A/N: just a short lil blurb idea I had whilst procrastinating from finishing my other two WIP’s xoxo

warning: implied age gap of reader being a “young woman”, but no specific reference to Spencer’s age, I just envision this as a very post-prison thing for him to do

Listen

“Excuse me, lady, but you don’t get to waltz in here and start ordering my officers around. This your first day on the job or something, sweetheart?” The local chief of police smirks down at you, condescension dripping from his every word.

That, coupled with his casual misogyny, is enough to have you smirking right back at him.

Shocker, another old-fashioned cop assuming that a young woman like you doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s almost laughable. Almost.

“FBI Agent first, ‘lady’ second, and ‘sweetheart’? Not under any circumstances. I’m here with the rest of my team to assist you on a case that you’ve requested our help to solve. You don’t like the way we do things? Raise a formal complaint. If you want this case solved, you’ll do well to listen to the advice given. This is far from my first case, and you are far from the first police chief to invalidate that.” Your voice is the epitome of cool, calm and collected.

Naturally, that only aggravates the ignorant man in front of you. More predictable than a- well, actually, there are few things more predictable than the fragile masculinity found in a man like this.

“I’ll be happy to listen to your boss before I take any orders from a girl with a mouth bigger than it ought to be.” The local chief of police eyes you up and down, as if to intimidate you by comparing your stature to his.

Much to his surprise - and absolute dismay - his efforts are in vain. This is made clear when a quiet laugh passes your lips and you lean back against the wall, crossing your arms over your chest and looking to your left.

Moments later, as though emerging from the shadows, Doctor Spencer Reid takes the few large strides necessary to reach your side. A formidable force, exacerbated by the dark scowl that’s etched into his features and directed at the local chief of police. Having not long returned from visiting a crime scene, he had overheard the conversation between you and elected to wait before he stepped in, hypothesizing both how far the ignorance would go, and how long he would be able to hear it before seeing red.

“If you value the continued use of your jaw, I’d advise you close it and listen. Disrespect Agent (Y/N) again and this entire precinct will suffer the consequences of your ignorance.” Spencer’s threat is eerily quiet and, while unprofessional by nature, the intent is understood to the extent that even a local chief of police wouldn’t dare call it into question.

The man caught in Spencer’s glare visibly shrinks, clears his throat, and pretends to find something to very quickly busy himself elsewhere. The glare follows him until he’s out of sight.

“I could have Garcia file a report severe enough to end that man’s career.” Spencer murmurs, gaze fixed on the door that the ignorance left through.

Turning to face Spencer, you smile up at him sweetly and pat his chest, your palm against his tie when the contact snaps his eyes back down to look at you.

“I think making him ruin his briefs in the workplace is punishment enough.” You joke lightly, your words enough to cause a smile to curl at the corner of Spencer’s mouth, a silent understanding caught in your locked gazes.

Nobody disrespects you and gets away with it, not so long as Doctor Spencer Reid is around to commit verbal homicide.

[itsabouttimex2]

Sooooo... How do you feel about the season 5?

In short? Mid. 6-6.5/10.

In long…?

A severely rushed season that bit off way more than it could chew. A season that had the characters pull powers from their asses more frequently than ever before. A season that had shitty “dramatic” moments for the sake of having dramatic moments. A season that lampshades issues instead of fixing them. A season with so, so much wasted potential.

It basically boils down: everything they wanted to do COULD have been good, but they just didn’t have the time.

I’ll go into some varied details below. I’d also like to make clear- I’ll be tagging all of my Season Five Posts with “Lego Monkie Kid Season 5” and “LMK Spoilers” until August 1st. Then the gloves are coming off and I’ll stop tagging them.

(I still liked the season, for what it’s worth- and you can watch it in full here! I’ve got some drafts and bots cooking as we speak!)

This was a cute send-off to Flying Bark! It was nice of them to acknowledge, in some way, everything that those dears did for the show- because Lego Monkie Kid would NOT be where it is without them.

Significantly less cute-

The absolute kick in the fucking face that constantly superimposing old footage over newer, worse footage is.

You don’t want us to be constantly reminded of the animation downgrade- that’s the literal last thing that anyone wants. Why would you constantly remind us that it used to be better?

What the fuck does this accomplish? Okay, let’s make comparisons, cause that’s the only thing that can result from pulling this shit-

This is what happens when you constantly reference the older, superior content.

PEOPLE CONSTANTLY NOTICE THAT YOUR CONTENT IS WORSE.

Also, why is it so saturated? How do you make a Lego Minifigure look like he has jaundice?

It’s just a bad look to constantly reference content you can’t live up to. I’m hoping they’ll just recreate old content instead of sloppily pasting it into the background of the show- it’ll be less jarring.

Alright, what else…

———

Uh, I fucking called it! Nuwa is not MK’s “loving though bereft mommy”! Which I had been guessing ever since the Celestial Pagoda leaked, actually-

I mean, come on. He’s literally stealing the stones away from her as she reaches to take them back.

And the Season confirmed it! Nuwa might’ve be been MK’s creator, but she certainly wasn’t his momma.

And you know how the series subtlety clues you in to how little she cares about her “son”?

Nuwa didn’t give him a name. She had hundreds, maybe thousands of years to think on it- but no. No name.

We mortals name our pets, our vehicles, our art. We love them enough to bestow monikers.

Nuwa didn’t even bother to name her own sapient mortal creation.

But when he makes a move against her, does something she doesn’t want, takes destiny into his own hands?

She calls out to him with one word- not “son”. Not “MK”.

Nuwa angrily calls him “mortal”.

Becuase that’s all he ever was to her, really. A mortal pawn. A handmade puppet.

Someone designed to fulfill a sacrifice. Even though her intentions were good, MK’s sole purpose by her hand was to shoulder the weight of the world like a good little hero.

So… a potential villain in the making?

———

Lampshading the fact that you’re doing the “macguffin hunt” again does not excuse doing the “macguffin hunt” again.

Lampshading the “apocalypse after apocalypse” plots doesn’t make them any less exhausting.

Lampshading Macaque’s lack of narrative consequences does not undo the awkward and weak redemption arc.

———

They changed Mei “no longer wielding” the Samadhi fire, I guess.

Ignore that she never displayed a hint of concern or sorrow over “losing it” because now she’s sad and worried (after backlash from the fans over her losing it) about losing it.

Like, Subodhi knows so much about the world and the universe that he’s aware of his existence in the ink scroll- but he gets Mei not having an interplanetary level threat inside her wrong?

I smell a retcon.

———

Macaque’s redemption arc is still shit. I’ve got a whole rant queued to release soon, actually- I imagine it might be the final time I comment on his arc until Season Six.

To put it short- Macaque still falls upwards into redemption. No pushback or difficulty or introspection. He’s just a magically better person without any onscreen development to make the change believable.

But they reference this at one point?

Sun Wukong points out that Macaque escapes the trial without any punishment, and is just allowed to mope in place of an actual consequence.

So maaaaaayybeeeee they’ll do something in Season Six? I’ve lost all faith that he’ll ever be an interesting character again, though.

He’s essentially just “brooding rival #80058”. Instead of being a character that calls back to Seasons 1-3, from 4 onwards he’s just a brand new dude who totally didn’t commit any atrocities with a smile on his face- and he’s a worse and more boring character for it.

———

If I haven’t misjudged the intent, I think Monkie Kid will be going back to being an episodic series for the extent of Season Six. Again, they lampshade the “apocalypse after apocalypse” thing, yeah?

And now they have a perfect formula- find someone who’s having trouble with their new power, and help them.

And we might see Bai He again???

Let’s hope for a good breather season!

———

Rest in piss Li Jing their asses did NOT cook with you sorry papa

You could’ve been interesting in the writers didn’t try to pull a “loving father” bait and switch after you got like four scenes of being a raw jackass

If they were going to deviate from the source material and make you a good dad couldn’t it have just been:

“Li Jing, you were not invited to the trial!”

“STF that monkey son of a bitch hurt my baby boy-“

“Father I’m 300-“

“Hush son, let daddy take care of this- that monkey son of a bitch hurt my baby boy when he stole the Samadhi fire map!”

Maybe next season you’ll get to be interesting, hun.

(I’m still writing for Lotusfam though)

———

Drama for the sake of drama. 0/10 scene. Could’ve just had the interruption come AFTER they held hands, but no. Gotta drag shit out for the shippers or whatever. There was no reason to prolong this reunion.

I’m really not a fan of the “just wait another season for it”, mentality. Stop stretching shit out. You had a chance to do something sweet and heartwarming, and chose not to for the sake of trying to drag a conclusion out.

Ugh.

———

Characters just pull powers out of their ass for the sake of forcing dramatic scenes.

THESE ARE DOGSHIT SCENES

THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. THIS IS DONE SOLELY FOR THE SALE OF “MUH DRAMATIC FINALE” AND IS BAD

ITS BAD WRITING TO HAVE CHARACTERS PULL NEW MAGICAL POWERS OUT OF THEIR ASSES FOR THE SAKE OF DRAMA

IF WUKONG HAD THIS POWER FROM THE START HE SHOULD’VE USED IT AGAINST HIS FUCKING LETHAL ENEMIES AND NOT SAVED IT FOR HIS PRECIOUS STUDENT

MK NEVER LEARNED TO USE THE FILLET SPELL. THE WRITERS PULLED IT OUT OF THEIR ASS TO FORCE DRAMA BY HAVING MK TORTURE HIS MENTOR LONGER THAN EVEN THEIR ACTING ENEMY LI JING DID WITH A CIRCLET THAT IS CANONICALLY TIGHTER THAN HIS FIRST

WE SEE HOW FAST HE IS WHEN HE FIGHTS THE AZURE LION

MK CAN MOVE FASTER THAN WUKONG

HE COULD’VE BEATEN HIM THERE IN AN EQUALLY CLIMATIC RACE

I FEEL NOTHING WHEN I WATCH THIS BECAUSE IT IS FORCED DRAMA FOR THE SAKE OF DRAMA

—————————————————

💚💚💚

[glade-constellation]

Okay, finally about to get all my thoughts down after yesterday’s episode. I’m going to start with Moon since he’s being the one most talked about.

This is going to be a long post, so I’ll put a cut here <3

Moon

A lot of people are hating on how Moon reacted to Sun’s current trauma. I agree that he is not handling the situation well. As much as I understand where he’s coming from, running from Sun is not going to help at all. Sun desperately needs his family with him right now. No one else may have considered Nexus daily anymore, but it was still clear that Sun cared. He basically had to kill his own brother. Not only that, he was made to feel as if he chose to kill his own brother. (There was no choice in the matter, it was physiological torture set up specifically to make Sun feel guilty for his actions. Sun may have threw the “fireball” but Dark was the one who forced him to.)

Anyways, back to Moon. I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that Moon also just lived through a trauma. He was kidnapped and tortured, almost killed before Ruin saved him. The only reason Ruin saved him, as Ruin explained himself, was because Ruin hated Dark and Nexus. It was not because he wanted to save Moon, it was because he wanted to thwart Dark and Nexus’ plans. When he’s finally on his way to getting out, he finds two of his brothers being tortured, and almost watched one of them die before he got there. (I think that’s why he started screaming when he did. He was buying time for Solar by directing Nexus’ attention at him.) He then watched Nexus die. He was not close to Nexus in any way, but watching anyone die in front of you is not great for your mental health.

After all this, Moon is then told he has to not only process his own trauma, but take on Sun’s trauma as well. Moon does want to help, but he is too overly burdened by his own problems and knows he wouldn’t be of any help. To make up of his guilt, he is coving up his own trauma response by saying he’s doing it for Sun. He very likely knows this isn’t going to help Sun emotionally, but he feels he can stop any farther trauma to Sun by stopping whatever’s causing it. It’s both genuinely feeling this is the only way he can help Sun, and feeling guilt over not being able to help him in the way that is currently needed.

Is that the best response? No. But is it a very Moon response? Yes. This is actually exactly how he used to fix problems. Moon should not have abused Sun in the way he did, and he still needs to apologize for that, but Moon genuinely thought in some of these instances that he was helping Sun. He is not an emotionally available person, so he cannot handle his own emotions on top of others. So he does the next best thing he can think of and tries to stop what’s causing the trauma. Moon has just as much trauma as Sun does, people just don’t tend to feel that way because he took out his emotions on Sun to process them. At least this time he’s not taking it out on Sun. At least he is trying to actually stop the problem.

All in all, Moon isn’t as in the wrong as everyone keeps saying. Yes, he definitely should go talk to Sun. Hell, even just sitting in the same room as Solar does all the talking would be a big help. Just showing that he is there for Sun. But then Moon would feel more guilty, because he wouldn’t see how he’s helping and would still want to go after Dark and Ruin. He may seem apathetic, but he genuinely is trying to fix the situation.

(Edit : I also think people are forgetting that Moon had absolutely no insight as to what the real situation was. Sun did not tell them he was forced to make a choice, he simply saw Nexus explode. He probably thinks Sun intentionally killed Nexus. He does not realize the true gravity of the situation like we do.)

Sun

Obviously, Sun is the most emotionally distressed over the situation. The entire time he was talking with Nexus, a few episodes before his death, Sun tried to say he didn’t care about Nexus. Nexus saw through the lies, he knew Sun for an entire year by this point. They used to be brothers, Nexus wasn’t going to believe Sun didn’t care because Sun never stopped caring. As much as Sun was hurt by Nexus, that was still his brother. It’s kind of similar to his feelings of Moon at the beginning of the show. Moon did some genuinely terrible things to him, but Sun still cared. The only reason this situation is any different is because Moon would sometimes try and show regret over his actions, and Nexus blatantly didn’t care.

Sun found out his brother was kidnapped, had to bargain with the enemy to try and get past another enemy, almost got caught in the crossfire of a deadly fight, and was then tortured by someone he used to call a brother. He was almost forced to watch Solar die purely as a revenge tactic to get back at him, and Sun would have felt it was his fault Solar died. The was only stopped by Moon rushing in to start fighting. Right when it looked like Nexus was about to kill everyone, Dark forced Sun into a rigged choice between killing his brothers. (Edit: It was Ruin’s device that killed Nexus. Sun had no part in physically killing him.)

Once again, really want people to understand that Sun did not kill Nexus. He was simply made to feel like he did. It’s psychological torture, make someone feel as if they are choosing a certain outcome when you are actually in control so that the person will be traumatized by “their own” actions. Dark was very in control of the situation. He very much knew who Sun was going to choose, but forced him into doing so in a way that would make Sun feel like it was his fault. Sun is in no way at fault for Nexus’ death. That is completely on Dark.

In the end, Sun is forced to watch his former brother, someone he still cares very deeply about, die a very violent and painful death. He is forced to think he is the one to cause it. He was already in high distress before hand from Moon’s kidnapping and attempted rescue. Now he is dealing with what is quite possibly his worst trauma yet. This forces him to shut down and dissociate from the problem.

Notice how Sun forces himself not to breakdown until he gets back to the house, and even then he goes to his own room and very quietly starts to cry. Even while he was in extreme emotional pain, he was trying to be considerate of the people around him. He didn’t want to force them to handle him while he was suffering, so he made his suffering as silent and unseen as he could. Because Sun never stops caring.

To say the least, Sun is in an unbearable amount of pain right now. It will be a very long road to recovery for him, if he ever recovers from this.

Solar

Solar seems to be the most level headed in the situation, which isn’t an odd thing. He will usually take on that role in these types of situations. He was also one of the first to say killing Nexus was their best option. He was probably the most prepared for this kind of outcome.

The thing is, as much as Solar might not like it, he is still an Eclipse. He still deals with his problems like most Eclipses do, though arguably better than others. He finds work to do, and he drowns himself in it to avoid his own feelings. Eclipses are kings of repression. Solar doesn’t want to acknowledge his own feelings, so he’s going to forget he even has them.

His current choice of work? Helping Sun. To him, Sun is obviously more hurt than he is, so his own emotions don’t matter. He feels Sun needs more help than him, so he’s not going to show any distress so that the others will focus on Sun and not him. If they focus on him, he will have to feel his feelings, and he doesn’t want that. He wants Sun better, because to him Sun obviously is the one more in need.

I think that’s one of the reasons he got so upset with Moon over the whole “go talk to Sun” situation. No one is helping Sun, and he’s confused on why no one is helping. Sun obviously needs it, why is everyone just leaving him alone? They need to go check on Sun, he’s obviously not okay right now. Why is no one helping Sun?

I thinks there’s a lot of factors at play here, besides just repression. I think is also somewhat projection and reliving trauma too. He basically lived the beginning of his life without help when he was in emotional distress. His Moon never cared about him, blamed him for Sun’s death, and constantly verbally and physically abused him. He was never allowed to grieve. Seeing Sun hurting like this and not getting help is reminding him of his own feelings in past situations where he never got help. He may not realize it, but it’s a possibility. Also, he still has the attachment to his own Sun. I don’t think he likes seeing any Sun (besides Dark) in any sort of pain.

Then there’s the last thing.

Solar had to kill his Moon.

This situation is striking way too close to home.

Solar is probably the only one who genuinely can feel empathy for Sun’s current situation. He’s the only one who knows what it feels like to “pull the trigger”. Nexus was also acting very similar to how Solar’s Moon used to act. And Solar never got any help when it happened. He didn’t even tell anyone, he covered it up and tried to forget. I think Lunar is the only one who knows about it, and Lunar never did anything about it. Solar was forced to go through nearly this exact situation, and he does not want to see Sun go through what he had to go through.

(On top of all this, Solar was very close to Nexus before his death. He’s not showing it, but he is very much hurt by what is happening. The only reason he is probably not in more distress is because he prepared for this being a possible outcome.)

Earth

To be completely honest, I have been way more focused on the others in this situation. Earth is also one of the easiest characters to read, as she verbally voices her feeling to everyone and has never really felt the need to hide them. We already know she’s upset by the situation, and is probably going to have some sort of mildly poor coping mechanism, but she is going to be the most emotionally okay out of everyone. Not because she is feeling okay, but because she’s the most in tune with her own feelings, and with how to properly handle those feelings.

I’m not saying she’s going to be perfectly okay over this. She is obviously still very hurt and troubled. I am also not trying to downplay her emotions. She is definitely going to need the others to help her. This portion isn’t short because I don’t like her, it’s just short because she is genuinely the best off in this situation. She knows how to find help when she needs it and, even better, she will ask for it.

Monty & Lunar

I’m sticking them together because I feel very similar ways about them.

I do not understand their reactions to the current situation.

Monty is more understandable. He was always closer to Moon than he was to Nexus. That much was very obvious. The moment Moon came back they got drunk and partied, and then feel right back into their old friendship. Monty was seemingly completely unaffected by Nexus’ change of heart. He very much only cares about themself and Earth.

The way he’s acting currently is not helping the situation. At all. It’s even worse than Moon’s reaction, in my opinion. Moon at least feels he is helping Sun. Monty is doing nothing. “Nexus is dead? Cool. Let’s hide this from Earth because it will hurt her and I can’t stand seeing that.” That is going to hurt Earth a lot worse in the long run if she was never told. She doesn’t like lies, even by omission. You already are hurting others by being apathetic, do not hurt Earth because seeing her hurt will hurt you. That’s fucked up.

Then there’s Lunar. I’ve already talked about my feelings on him, but I still cannot figure him out. He’s always been a very apathetic character when he’s not interested or running from emotional pain. But this? This feels almost malicious. He doesn’t seem to care. Usually when he is running, he’ll verbally tell everyone he knows what he’s doing. He knows it’s bad. But right now he is not saying anything. His is either dissociating from the problem to the point he is numb, or he is so genuinely unbothered that there isn’t any sort of care in his heart.

This doesn’t feel like Lunar. This has never been his reaction to anything before. We haven never seen this from him at this scale. It feels so violently out of character for someone who is very emotional and loud about it.

At this point, I am starting to wonder if the Star power is having a bigger effect on him than we think. We all know that the Astrals deal with apathy to most things. Even Castor and Pollux has said they don’t react to things like most people expect them to. They do not have the ability to care in a way the feels human. Since Lunar has been training to become an Astral, I’m starting to wonder if this will begin to mentally change him as well.

I am not saying that apathy is a bad thing to have. I am not saying Lunar is wrong to feel this way. I am simply saying it feels violently out of character, and is not helpful in the situation at all.

These two are currently being the least helpful in this situation. They do not care, and do not feel the need to soften their apathy and help the others. Lunar is actually the most unsympathetic out of the group, which is actually a stark contrast to how he usually is portrayed.

[comically-blu]

Welp now that I did brainstorm ideas as I worked on stuff, art and irl…. I’ll say one thing; PW!Shermie is well loved here.

As I may had implied in the Portal! Shermie au post, Ford and Stan actually get to learn to work together. They even have a much earlier reconciliation arc. They even actually agree on reworking on the portal!

Them when the best older brother “with a lot to lose in life” gets accidentally flung into portal cause they brawled:

So yeah, Stan and… Bill (to his own plan) actually convinced Ford to rework on the portal. Just the power of love and family, basically. (It’s more like “we will fight bill together” with Stan twins and “I’m responsible, I’ll fix this” with Ford). Though, that may be pointless anyway since Shermie does snag stuff like a Time cop’s device and that portal took hella time to be reworked? Idk if this even makes sense

Oh also for the whole cover-up shibang, Stan goes by a fake name

While Bill is elated about this that this branch of the timeline would be doomed, tricks do come into clutch: Shermie does his own work within the years he is escaping from Bill, even he meets allies like the Oracle. There’s also Fiddleford, in his cult leader era, who gets included in helping Stan & Ford, so this is a mystery trio au- not very peaceful, there’s the Stan twins vs Fiddleford & the Blind Eye Society arc (the cult are practically antagonists like canon) (edit: no error happened here shhh)

Shermie’s wifey Penelope and Eddie (Mr. Pines) would be playing a part— Eddie probably might come to Gravity Falls more in this au, as a 17ish y/o teen to his mid twenties (25) when Shermie comes back. Like his future kids (Dipper & Mabel), Eddie will be looking into secrets behind his dad’s disappearance.

So this timeline is still fine with the possiblity of a good ending. probably. ;] Funny how the brother between two conflicting brothers pushes them get along together, huh?

[joaniscruzing]

stars between us - ch.3 - h.c

Here's chapter 3! I'm looking to do a one-shot or two before continuing this further. I'm always taking requests for anyone in my Masterlist. Comment on this post if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this fic!

Summary: The first day of the two-day camping trip with Hazel. I'd recommend the song "how soon is now?" by the Smiths, for at least the beginning of this chapter.

Contains: overwhelming amount of fluff, sad hazel, mean!pj, slight angst, a wee bit of flirting, mention of weed/drugs

To say that you were scared awake is an understatement. PJ quite literally BLASTED a horn into you and Hazel’s ear the next morning. You jolt awake, not realizing you were still holding Hazel’s hand. However, in your jolt, you squeeze it. You then realize that Hazel got very close to you in her sleep last night. You let go of her hand under the covers and rub your eyes.

“Morning Haze.” you said sleepily.

“Morning,” she replied in a raspy voice.

“Gee, aren’t you guys tired! What, were you guys finger-fucking each other all night?” PJ interrupts. All you and Hazel do is give her an annoyed look, as you had barely woken up and were already done with her shit.

“PJ, just because two people slept in the same bed and are tired waking up, does not mean they fucked each other,” Brittany points out.

“Okay, okay. Jesus.”

You and Hazel begrudgingly get out of bed, knowing that staff would be knocking at the cabin’s door to wake everyone up soon. You both got changed into comfortable outfits for the day. Today on the trip, everyone would be picking up trash, planting flowers, and hiking.

“Your shirt is very pretty,” Hazel says as you’re fixing your hair.

“Oh, thanks!” you smile at the unexpected compliment.

“What flowers are those?” Hazel motions to the flowers on your shirt.

“Oh these? They’re irises.”

“Are those your favorite flowers?”

“No, they’re tulips. Do you have a favorite flower?”

“Actually, yeah. They’re daisies.” Hazel smiles, looking at you with her gorgeous blue eyes. You nod, internally reminding yourself to keep that in mind.

“Alright, are you ready to go to breakfast?” you ask Hazel. She nods, and stands up. She looks at you for a second, contemplating something. She shakes out of it though.

“Yeah! Let’s go!”

“Wait, Hazel, I need to talk to you.” you hear from PJ from the corner of the room.

“You can go without me. I’ll meet you there.”

“Are you sure? I can wait, I don’t mind.”

“No, no. Just save a plate of breakfast for me, okay?” You give her a thumbs up and leave the cabin, closing the door behind you. Mid-walk to the tables, you remember that you forgot your book. You make your way back, but hear your name being said in the voices you hear when you’re at the door.

“She probably doesn’t like you Hazel. Look at her, she’s friends with the cheerleaders.” you hear from PJ.

“How is that different from Josie and Isabel?” you hear from Hazel.

“Well Isabel was gay. Your new little friend is not.”

“Well we don’t exactly know that yet. Plus, I want to get to know her. Not stick my tongue down her throat.”

“I’m just saying, don’t get disappointed if she doesn’t hang out with you after this weekend.” after that you hear silence. You hear footsteps, which cause you to scramble away from the door. However, you still need your book. You approach the door again, opening it, and seeing Hazel waiting there, her eyes swimming with tears.

“Hey.” she says quietly, a small break in her voice.

“Hazel. Are you okay?” you put your hand on her shoulder. She nods her head, although you know damn well that that’s a lie.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” You lead Hazel outside, and go about fifteen feet away from the cabin, near some trees.

“Can you explain to me what’s wrong?” Hazel tries to calm down, but keeps on crying. You put your arm around her shoulder and rub her arm soothingly. “Talk to me. Let me know what’s going on.”

Hazel’s breathing becomes less erratic and she’s able to catch a breath. She leans her back against the tree.

“I guess, uh, PJ doesn’t really think that you and I are really friends. She told me that you’re just being nice to me because I’m really clingy, and that like I haven’t stopped being around you since the bus ride.”

“Well, you’ve told me once, and I’m seeing once again, PJ is an asshole. Why are you even listening to her in the first place?”

“I, um, don’t know. She’s known me for a really long time, and I feel like I have to trust her.”

“You can know someone for all your life and not trust them. Haze, I can tell you right now that that’s not true. I’m really excited to spend the day with you today. I mean it. I could’ve just tagged along with Brittany and Isabel today, but I chose to hang out with you. Because you’re cool. And I like you.” Hazel immediately hugs you after you say that. You hug her back. When you two pull away, you teach her a trick to make her eyes less red after crying. The two of you go to the breakfast table and grab two bagels. You sit at a table and make plans for the day.

“What do you want to do today, Hazel?”

“I definitely want to go hiking. Some people were saying there was a waterfall somewhere.”

“I bet we could go while picking up trash.”

“We also need to find a time to look at the stars. I’m not letting myself forget today.”

“I’m hoping the skies are clear tonight.” 

The two of you finish up your breakfast and grab gloves and bags to pick up trash. The morning is quite tiring, but you and Hazel’s chatter and jokes help brighten it. Hazel ends up being very funny, leaving you laughing hysterically. For lunch, you eat with everyone in the cabin.

“I’m glad to see that you and Hazel have become friends,” Isabel admitted.

“Me too. I’m really glad you told me a bit about her. I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to talk to her. But I’m glad I did.” Just then, PJ bounds up to the table, her hands pounding on it, causing the five of you sitting to go quiet.

“I have weed for tonight.”

“PJ, none of us like smoking.” Josie points out.

“THAT is why I thought ahead. I got us edibles.”

“And how did you get them?” Brittany asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I gave some old man I came across while planting some flowers like ten dollars.” All of you, being young, dumb teenagers, shrugged it off. The rest of the day was declared free time by the staff, as you all had fulfilled your requirements for the trip.

“Do you want to go on that hike?” you asked Hazel. She nodded, and the two of you left the table to begin your hike. You somehow both still had things to talk about while trying to find the waterfall Hazel had been talking about earlier.

“Oh my god, Hazel! There’s daisies!” you grab her hand to pull her over to the field of daisies nearby. She happily runs with you, picking a few. You do as well, and the two of you stick a few handfuls into your backpack. Eventually, the two of you to get to the waterfall. You both sit down.

“Can I see the daisies we picked?” Hazel asks. You nod, and watch her begin to make a daisy crown with them. She puts one on your head, before you ask her to teach you how to make one. She teaches you, and you put one on her head as well.

“We look absolutely stunning in these.” you say dramatically, putting your wrist up to your forehead.

“You definitely do. You look like the fairy flower princess.” Hazel says, without contemplation.

“And who said there couldn’t be two fairy flower princesses?” you smile and look at Hazel, who looks at you too. Your eye contact with her stays for a few (very long) seconds before the two of you resume talking.

“Are you going to do the edibles PJ brought later?” Hazel asks.

“Maybe. I don’t really know if I’m being honest. I don’t exactly trust PJ’s source.”

“I’ll do them if you do them.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll let you know if I plan on doing any.” The two of you decide to head back, as you were both quite tired from the day, and really just wanted to take it easy for the rest of it. You were looking forward to reading your astronomy book for a bit before stargazing with Hazel, but you were greeted by all the girls in the cabin in a circle, and PJ waving at the two of you.

“Who’s ready for some truth or dare? Huh?”

taglist: @at1nyzen @slaughtercarrie @sophia2414

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie:  Two emergencies in 7x1 illustrated Buck hasn’t dealt with his death

It appears the first call with the older onery couple and the second call with the burned car relate to Buck’s death and they seem to illustrate how he’s not over it yet.

These are my OBSERVATIONS and INTERPRETATIONS of two scenes included in 7x1 and other people’s may differ since everyone consumes and interprets media differently.

Now back to the regularly scheduled program…

Before I delve into this, I have to mention that I don’t think Buck’s over his death yet.  Does he want to be?  Yes but the fact is he hasn’t dealt with it and the first two emergencies in 7x1 alluded to it.

For those who read my post about my frustrations surrounding the fact that TM (showrunner) said Buck was tired of talking about death and he just wants to be happy (linked here), I’ve elaborated on why I believe he hasn’t dealt with it yet in this post.  I found two things in the first episode of season 7 that seems to prove my theory associated with the way TM might be saving Buck dealing with the fact that he ACTUALLY DIED in season 6 until after 7x6 airs since that’s Maddie’s wedding and the Buckley parents are scheduled to return.

I live blogged during last week’s episode but while doing so, I noticed so many things that I wanted to expound on but I wanted to analyze them first to see how they connected to previous seasons and episodes.  I watched the episode three more times for multiple reasons but mainly because I wanted to make sure I understood all the callbacks, hindsight, metaphors and foreshadowing.  This post will not include everything I found because it’s a lot but I will do several posts to cover the others.

While Buck and Eddie were in the locker room talking, Buck said all ND wanted to talk about was his death, it got boring after a while and he didn’t know why he thought dating a dEaTh DoUlA was a good idea.  Eddie responded, “Well you had just died” but then he said something else that caused me to pause because it was JARRING.  He said, “Welcome back to the land of the living Buck, you were missed” (more on this topic below).

Be clear, I’M GLAD SHE’S GONE AND I WISH THE SHOW WOULDN’T HAVE SHOVED THEM INTO A RELATIONSHIP.  If she would have helped Buck with the fact that he died like she was supposed to then all that screen time spent on whatever they had in season 6 could have been used to SHOW how he arrived at a point of just wanting to be happy at the beginning of season 7 but the audience didn’t get that.  The truth is, if he wasn’t opening up and talking about it (it’s likely he wasn’t since he’s not in therapy) then of course it got boring for him because he was doing what he always does, avoiding dealing with his own issues by trying to fix everyone else’s.  Reminder, he’s the guy who likes to fix things except for when it’s his own problems.  He avoids them the same way he avoided moving on from AC in season 2 which equates to the way he avoided talking to TK for a week so he wouldn’t have to break up with her at the end of season 5.

Also, Buck hides his true feelings and he said so in 4x2 when he was in a FaceTime therapy session with Dr. Copeland.  He said, “How I hide my true feelings from others”.  Additionally, in 6x15, he told Eddie, “The truth is I am different.  But I feel like I have to be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else.”  These two statements he made along with the way he avoids things further substantiates the fact that Buck is hiding the way he really feels about his death and he’s pretending to be happy.

IMO, the first and second emergencies in 7x1 the 118 was dispatched to appeared to show where Buck is mentally.  I’ll start with the chair and the car metaphors in this post because they’re the ones I couldn't forget when I watched live.  After my initial viewing, I kept wondering why the man in the first call was not only sitting in a reclining chair but he was ALSO TRAPPED IN IT.  Additionally, I couldn’t get over the fact that Buck and Eddie were the only two on the scene of the second call with that burned car.  Not only was the car destroyed from the inside out; it was the question the owner of the car asked Buck that I couldn’t forget.  The chair and the car are the two items I’ll expound on in this post to illustrate how they relate to Buck’s death and I’ll include my opinion to explain how they might relate to what could possibly happen with him before the end of the season.

Call #1

Do these two GIFs look familiar?

They should because Buck and Abe are both sitting in arm chairs that are suited for only one person and they mirror the way Buck’s life could end up if he lives it the way other people want him to instead of him living it the way he wants to. The darker color in the suede of Abe's chair is similar to the color of Buck's leather chair. Also, Abe's chair is outdated but he still uses it so he doesn't have to deal with Edna.

In 7x1, Abe just wanted to be at EASE with his life while sitting and relaxing in his chair but his wife wouldn’t let him.  He was trying to watch TV but she kept knit picking at everything he was doing.  She was doing the whole “pay attention to me or else I’ll force you to do it and make your life a living hell while I'm at it” dynamic and it was annoying AF. They had been married for more than 30 years and they never had any kids but they were also miserable.  They hated each other and it appears they were in a marriage neither of them wanted to be in.  After the 118 arrived, Edna said, “He loves that chair more than the loves me”.

Furthermore, they had a couch in their home but it was just sitting there which means ABE REFUSED TO SIT ON IT WITH HER.  He told Chimney the fighter jet should have put one of them out of their misery.

Was the depiction of their relationship reminiscent of one from season 5?  YES!

In 6x1, Bobby told Buck he needed to take inventory of his life so he could be at EASE and when he did, he sat in his chair but at the time, since he had already given TK the boot, he didn’t have to worry about her doing to him what Edna spent 30 years doing to Abe.  If Buck would have kept on clinging to TK, then that could have been his fate.  TK was shallow and wanted all the attention on herself the same way Edna did and she proved it with her raggedy and immoral journalistic behaviors.  She had planned to throw the 118 under the bus in 2x6 but she didn’t get the chance to do it then since the LAFD’s lawyers were more powerful than her news station’s lawyers.  However, she jumped at the opportunity to do it a second time in season 5 when she didn’t have anyone to stop her.

Abe’s relationship with Edna gave the audience a future flash forward of where Buck could end up if he follows what some GA viewers want him to do.  Before he died, in 6x2, Lev told him his life went by in a blur and it was the reason he went to the happiness convention with his friends.  Abe chose the life he felt like he was expected to live with a wife and a house too but based on the way he was acting; it clearly wasn’t something he would have chosen for himself.  And he was so far from being at ease that he was miserable.

Additionally, Edna was a combination of every woman Buck’s ever dated.  She was older and had red hair which coincides with AC.  She didn’t care about what Abe was doing because she wanted him to do what she wanted which coincides with TK and also, she had red hair.  She was frustrated with him and what he was doing which correlates her to AM, reminder she didn’t like Buck’s job which is the reason why she left him with a cast on his leg after the ladder truck explosion.  Finally, ND was fascinated by Buck’s death the same way Edna was fascinated by the fact that Abe might not be ok.  She cared more about the chair being out of her house than she did about his well-being.  Their lives were miserable but instead of ending their relationship, they clung to each other just like Buck and TK did in season 5.

IMO, the couple represented the life Buck would have if he follows the path some people in the GA want him to.  Believe it or not, there are still viewers who want everyone to do things the way they did them, i.e., get married, have a house, have kids and work a job until they die and instead of wanting Buck and Eddie to experience the true love they clearly share to flourish and grow, for WhAtEvEr ReAsOnS, they’d rather they stay in relationships with the women who wronged, abandoned and ignored them. It appears they're choosing not to see how much they love each other and they would prefer them to “stick it out” in relationships with people who clearly make them miserable.

Reminder, in 6x15, Buck told Eddie, “I still don't know how to act. I am different but I feel like I have to be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else” and I’ve always believed he was saying that directly to the audience.  It was aimed at the women who wanted him to keep waiting around for AC or those who wanted him to stay with AM because she had an adult conversation with him before she dipped.  Then there are those who wanted him to stay with TK because she was career driven (that’s a bunch of BS because journalists can be driven in their careers without being immoral, vindictive, callous or using people to get popular by writing a crappy book) and then there are those who wanted Buck to stay with ND (I know this may be hard to believe but there are posts that indicate “he knew what he was getting into when he dated her” 🙄).  Like seriously, they wanted him to stay with her because in their minds, she was perfect for him but haven’t all his girlfriend’s stans said that?  They have and the question they should ask themselves is, why haven’t any of Buck’s relationships worked (related post linked here and here) instead of acting like the women who treated him poorly deserved to stick around.  Also, Buck’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode the same way that dummy bomb would have if it had gone off. However, just like on the call, Eddie’s going to be there for Buck but it’s unclear when or if he’ll be able to stop it from happening.

Call #2

The burned car was still smoldering but it was also hollow and charred to the core.  IMO, it was included as a call that only Buck and Eddie were allowed to extinguish as a way to illustrate how it’ll take both of them working together to repair Buck’s charred, burned and smoldering insides.  Reminder, in 6x10 he was struck by lightning and he died which means he’s probably feeling hollow on the inside and I think he feels all cored out just like that burned car.  While they were in the locker room, it appeared he was ready to talk to Eddie about the way he feels which is the reason why he may have invited him to go out so they could be alone and he could speak freely.  But he backed off when Eddie mentioned “Big date” and reminder, Buck was the one who assumed Eddie had a date with M (more on this below) but Eddie was talking about Chris' date.

After Eddie left, the audience didn’t see Buck leave so apparently, he went somewhere but who knows where since he wasn’t shown again until the next time they were at work.  If they had gone together, it would have been a date but IIRC, other than the poker date in 6x13, every time Buck and Eddie hung out in the past, they were at Buck's loft or at Eddie’s house.  Additionally, Eddie admitted he’s a nester which means he’s ok with them staying in like they did when they played video games and drank beer in the past.  The one time they went to a bar together in 3x11 doesn’t count as a date because the rest of the 118 was there with Albert.  I think Buck was extending an olive branch and trying to let Eddie know he needed him the same way Eddie tried to let Buck know he needed him before his breakdown in season 5 but when he finally broke, Chris called Buck and he came running.  I’ve always wondered how it will play out if Buck breaks down while he’s alone in the loft and I have an idea of how it will happen but I haven’t decided if I’ll post it on here.

When they were done, the car owner asked, “Is it a total loss or is…?” and Buck responded, “Uh… not total.” then he smiled, held up a pine tree fragranced car freshener, which is symbolic of an actual family tree because of the ROOTS, then said, “Have a good day”.  Buck’s biological family roots are about to come into question AGAIN (related post about the Buckley parents other deep dark family secret linked here) and guess what?  When they do, it’s going to rock him to his CORE and the only person who’ll be able to help him is EDDIE!  Buck’s not a total loss as the phrasing in the scene alluded to and Eddie KNOWS that! However, Buck will need for Eddie to tell him that over and over again until he starts to believe it.

I think the confrontation OS mentioned that’s supposed to occur between Buck and Eddie will be in relation to Buck’s self-worth and how he views himself.  There are a lot of people who want to move on from the fact that Buck died and rightfully so since he along with the viewers had to endure an entire season of him not dealing with his issues.  But the truth is 9-1-1 hasn’t moved on from it either and even though TM said Buck’s ready to find happiness, the fact still remains that Buck hasn’t dealt with the reality of his own death.

IMO, he will find happiness when he’s in a relationship with Eddie and reminder, Eddie’s the one who’s always trying to encourage him.  He did it in 7x1 too after Buck said, “You don’t want him to end up like me” but Eddie was quick to respond, “You didn’t end up like you”.  It was soft, pure and so full of love that it took Buck’s breath away.

Now be honest, would AC, AM, TK or ND have said that to him?  The answer NO!

I stand by the things I included in a previous post because Connor and Kameron are supposed to return some time around or after 7x5 and that’s when I believe the proverbial $hit regarding Buck’s self-worth will hit the fan since it’s likely they’ll have some devastating news for him about the baby.  Then the Buckley parents are set to return for Maddie’s wedding and nothing good ever happens to Buck when they do so it's looking like a trifecta of bad news for Buck (related post linked here).

Other than the time he spent talking to Chris at Eddie’s house, Buck was only shown at work during the entire episode and I believe that was on purpose.  It’s unclear when he’ll be shown in the loft again but when he is, that could be when the audience sees he’s not doing as well as he’s trying to get people to believe.  It’s likely the way he really feels about the fact that he died will be shown and if he feels like that burned car… it’s not going to be pretty or pleasant.

Eddie KNOWS Buck’s not doing well but he’s not going to push him to talk just like he didn’t in 6x12.  He’s going to wait until Buck’s ready then, he’ll have the heart-to-heart talk with him the same way he always does.  Reminder, Eddie takes care of Buck (post linked here) while Buck listens to Eddie and makes him talk (post linked here).  In 7x1, Eddie said, “Welcome back to the land of the living Buck.  You were missed” and I kept wondering why he phrased it like that but then I realized it’s because he knows Buck hasn’t confronted the fact that he died but he’s not going to push him, he’ll wait until he says he’s ready then Eddie will be there to take care of him like he always is.

Make no mistake, Buck’s happiness is with Eddie but he thinks he’s off limits since he’s “dating” M (please understand I don’t think Eddie and M are "seriously dating" and that's based on RG's responses about the character of M in his interviews. I’ll do a separate post on it explaining how the show and the actors have explained it in so many words).

TM used two BOLD contrasts in the first episode, a chair and a car, to show Buck has to deal with his death and it’s likely he'll continue to include these types of metaphors until he does.  Also, TM's comment about Buck being tired of talking about dying seems to be a bait and switch and he's trying to get viewers to look away from Buck’s death so they’ll forget he’s been hiding it, then they’ll be blindsided by it when he finally breaks. Reminder, after the Madney wedding, there will still be 4 episodes left in the season and what exactly will TM fill them with🧐?

Will Buck finally deal with the fact that he died this season since he didn't in season 6?  Who knows but based on the chair and the car, it appears his process of dealing with it has just begun.

[acidichcl]

My babies

Was playing around a lil with how i draw them

Anyways, im bored so below is just me rambling about my tmnt fan iteration

If ur gonna read it, be warned, it’s long 💀 i tend to yap alot. I’ll make a clearer post once i figure everything out lmao

I guess i’ll start by explaining the background of it all

Baxter stockman found a crystal near an alien crash site and he found it super pretty, he wanted to give it to april’s mom, who he fancied. At the time, he didnt think much of it. He just thought it was a regular pretty crystal that was probably formed because of the crash impact or something.

(Little comic about this) As baxter gives the crystal necklace to april for her to give to her mom, april ends up giving it to Leo instead because april doesnt like her mom and refuses to give any gifts to her. Leo wears the crystal necklace in gratitude for April and on that night, leo had something happen to him. It’s like something from the necklace is taking over his body. That something is basically the crystal’s energy getting embedded to his body, this includes a hologram being (like an AI i guess) that is part of that crystal

This hologram being is what u call a Chronix. Chronixes are blue hologram AI beings that usually take a dragon-like form. Chronix doesnt immediately show itself to Leo, as just like any other virtual assistant, it only shows up when needed. When the crystal’s energy was embedded to Leo, he just thought that it was somehow Donnie’s mischievous doing. Maybe he was experimenting with things and Leo got caught in the way. Leo quickly dismissed it and went on with his day after Donnie gives Leo a device that would help tame the energy surge.

One day, a bunch of utroms have been spotted roaming around the town. While April was still sleeping, an utrom managed to get into april’s place through an open window and climbed onto leo, causing him to freak out and accidentally spawn a holographic whip that would break April’s shelf of her beloved figurines. Leo begged Donnie to fix everything and he also tells Donnie that the device he gave isnt working. Donnie agreed to fix the issues and he tells Raph to distract April, and Mikey to help clean up the mess a bit. While Donnie is fixing up his device, Leo is sitting alone in his room, wondering what actually is happening to him.

Prompted by Leo’s question about what’s happening, Chronix appears and tells him that the energy surges he’s getting are because he’s not used to it yet. His body is not trained enough to be a container for the energy nor to gain better control of what he spawns. Chronix explains further about what it is and where it came from: The utroms have a very advanced living condition and what keeps their conditions alive is a sun crystal that powers everything in their planet. It is linked to everything there and it casts virtual assistants to serve the utroms. As they were fleeing their planet that’s about to be taken over by shredder, the utroms took the big crystal with them as its huge energy source is believed to be able to form a new world and Shredder will have his own loyal army. When the utroms fled with the crystal, they crashed to earth, causing the crystal to shatter to multiple pieces. Those who came to check out the crash site notice these crystal fragments and take them, either its for collection, or for profit purposes, or for research, whatever. Ppl just like shiny things. The utroms are trying to gather all the pieces to form the crystal whole again to restore their home planet, while shredder, and other alien invaders, are also actively trying to seek out for this crystal for power.

As Leo is one of those who is in possession of the crystal, he is now a target, hence why an utrom climbed up onto him that morning. Now knowing that he’s not supposed to be in possession of the crystal, he tries to take off the necklace but he is now bonded with the crystal so he physically can’t take it off. The crystals dont have the same effects on other living things tho. I'll tell why eventually in future posts.

To avoid any more accidents, he asks for chronix’s guidance on how to make his body stronger to contain and be more in control. Chronix tells him that he just needs to train n stuff. For better guidance, he tells his brothers. And then april, who then mentions that there’s a dojo nearby and thats where they meet casey jones and his grandpa who owns a pet rat, Splinter, who shortly gets in contact with an utrom and gets mutated. Also the grandpa’s pretty old so he passes away not very long after. Casey is still too young to continue his legacy, but splinter is now an old wise rat who knows of the grandpa’s techniques. So splinter takes the sensei role to initially train only leo and casey, but the other turtles and april also wanted to join in just to have something to do

Yeah

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

It’s that time of year again!!!

The amount of times Ibis crashed on me ;~; (still sorting out the storage issues—at a slug’s pace, ‘cause other things be preoccupying my mind), but it was worth it!! I’m very much proud, very much pleased, with how it came out this year if I do say so myself! Ahhh, all that struggling with and “refinding” my art style this year was not for naught!!

I think of my previous years, 2021 is my favorite, but it’s officially been replaced now 😌 I feel so content rn (please don’t let this be a short moodlet, eheh)

That said, I do think I prefer last year’s hands. They were also a pain this time—primarily Yukiko’s right hand…

Anywho, previous versions (+ “base-color” version + a close-up ‘cause why not) under the cut (after some more rambling, eheh):

I was really struggling to start this—I restarted it 3 times essentially—so I’m also really happy with how it came out in that regard. As such (plus the crashes), I’m a wee bit late this year, but only by a few days; I really don’t mind it for once, haha.

I noticed I was going in a certain direction over the years with Yukiko’s hairstyle and the light source, and not the one I intended. Realized that this year, so I fixed those trends:

Tried to make the light source more behind and adjusted it’s position to match with the scene in my head more (though, if I really wanted to be truthful to that, she’d be in one of the other ballgowns I designed for her since she wears this specific one for her first meeting with Gakushuu in this AU, whereas the idea for this scene is supposed to be from when they’re much more familiar with each other later on. But, uh, I like this dress wayyy too much, so let’s just ignore that, haha). I was actually thinking of finally implementing a proper bg this year—even sketched it (mainly for perspective, though)—but I really wanted to just get this done, haha, but also… I didn’t want to deal with more crashes… Perhaps next year… but don’t quote me on that, haha.

As for the hair, the strands that bunch up the rest of Yukiko’s hair—I noticed I was placing them too low. How I imagine her hairstyle to be is that they eventually connect up to her bun (I should definitely sketch a back view concept of this design, mainly so I don’t forget stuff like these, eheh, and to visualize just what in the world is going on… but that’s something distant future me will worry about… if she remembers, of course ^^;). But they’re also supposed the same length as the rest of her hair, so… yeah… I thought this would make her hair less fluffier, which would’ve saddened me, haha, but it didn’t! That said, I have a feeling I’ll possibly make it less voluminous next year… Seems a bit too thick… but idk. I like drawing thick hair, haha.

Oh, also, if you’ll notice: I decided to simplify her underskirt design last year, and… yeah, no, I reverted that change, haha.

Mannn, I am in such a mood to draw more “A Brothers’ Quarrel” stuff/AC Kingdom AU stuff in general (like designing some proper outfits for Gakushuu and Karma finally (they’re the main characters, and Yukiko only appears for a specific part of the AU, yet who do I draw the most…? XD), drawing her horse, Camellia, drawing her in her other dresses, finally getting around to drawing her ladies-in-waiting designs in that other Kingdom AU (just how long ago did I post the traditional sketches of them? Yikes…), etc, etc), but I’ve got too much stuff to get finished before the end of the year. I really need to pick up the pace, eheh.

[via-the-cryptid]

one of you, I don’t remember who but if it was you then here you go, mentioned Ellie befriending Ace. it took me a minute to realise that you probably meant the psychic little girl and not the pirate, but… now that I think about it, that’s actually a really good idea.

first off, I’m going to start by saying that I barely remember anything about Ace except hat she was super psychic, scared the Joker shitless once (good for her), and I think ended up dying as a result of her powers overloading her brain. I also remember Batman stayed with her until she died, but past that, nothing! so if my interpretation of her is off, well, that ain’t Via’s problem.

picture this: Ellie, approximately 14 in physical terms, only been alive for like a year or two. it’s post-Portal Incident II: The Reckoning, so her body is stabilized but her powers are going bat-crazy. she’s alone in an unfamiliar city with far too many restless spirits, being chased by actual supervillains, and she’s scared. maybe she ducks into an alley or hides in an abandoned building, and maybe one of those spirits was watching.

it’s been a long time since anything has caught Ace’s attention in the mortal realm. she likes to check in from time to time, see what’s happening as the world moves on without her, but it’s useless to linger over what she can’t affect. in the end, it only ever makes her miserable.

but sometimes, she can’t help but watch. sometimes, like today, she sees another little girl in trouble. she thinks, ‘she’s like me’, and she needs to know that this girl makes it through the night. even if she doesn’t, Ace still has enough power in death to show her a good dream before another ghost is added to Gotham’s countless number of lost souls. she follows the girl into the building, watches as she curls up in the corner, out of sight and barely there.

and then she looks straight at Ace.

“Did you want something?” Ellie asks, and she doesn’t break eye contact with the spirit floating in the doorway, even as her eyes go wide. “If you have unfinished business, I might be able to help, y’know, so long as you’re not trying to cause trouble.”

“You can see me.”

“Sure can. Kinda hard not to, your outfit’s pretty distinct.”

It’s the outfit she died in. Ace doesn’t really want to wear it anymore, not when she’s so far removed from that era of her life, but it isn’t like she knows how to.

“So,” Ellie says, “what’s your deal? Are you just here to watch it are you picking a fight? ‘Cause I’ll warn you, I don’t know how to play poker and everyone else so far has refused to reach me.”

Ace blinks. “I’m not here to fight with you.”

“Okay, cool. Are you… here to fight someone else?”

“No. I was watching you.”

“Well, that’s a bit unsettling.”

“You were alone, and you looked cold. I had to make sure you weren’t going to die in here.”

“Again?” Mutters Ellie, and Ace’s expression snaps from intrigued to guarded in less than a second.

“What does that mean?” She asks, glaring right at Ellie, and the other girl grimaces.

“Did not mean to say that one out loud. Okay, so hi, I’m Ellie, and basically I’m dead—”

“What? No, you’re not. I would be able to tell if you were dead.”

“Half-dead, then. I was a clone OFA guy who was half human and half ghost, ‘cept I was falling apart, so I decided to fix it by doing the same thing he did to become half-ghost, and I ended up standing inside a portal to the Ghost Zone while it was opening. Make sense so far?”

Ace’s jaw is dropping, but she can’t seem to find it in herself to care. “Half-dead.”

“Oh, we’re still stuck on that, then. Basically, if you— actually never mind, I don’t really know how it works. I can turn from ghost to human, if that helps.”

“How?” Ace whispers. “You said you were… falling apart. And a clone. And half-dead.”

“Well, now I’ve got two out of those three, since I fixed the first problem. Do you want to maybe sit down or something? This is gonna be a long story if you want the whole thing.”

Yes, she absolutely does. Ace float across the room and settles in next to Ellie, folding her knees up to copy the other girl’s pose. “My name is Ace.”

“Nice to meet you, Ace. I’m Ellie. Wait, I think I said that already.”

Somewhere on the other side of Crime Alley, unknowing of the two girls hidden away in a long-forgotten corner, Edward Nygma slams his head down on the desk as he once again fails to pinpoint the location of the mysterious white-haired girl.

[bezierballad]

I know it’s been kind of a while since I posted about my Black Butler Dadbastian Maleficent AU (damn that’s a fucking mouthful lmao) so I’ve been brainstorming a little narrative that sets up the story events.

Here’s what I came up with (as I always say when making shit like this, bear with me lmao)

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom (or some shit) there was a young peasant.

Vincent was a very poor young fellow, living alone in very poor conditions, spending what little money he has just to buy barely enough food for himself.

One fateful day however, he made a contract with a demon.

The demon called himself Sebastian (or maybe Vincent named him that idfk) and he made the offer of whatever Vincent wanted in exchange for his soul.

Vincent told him that he wanted a wealthy life where he’d have a high level of status and power.

It was established in the contract that when Vincent was at the peak of wealth and power, Sebastian would take his soul.

And so time passes, and eventually Vincent is king, with a castle and a wife and loyal servants and subjects

Now here’s where things kinda get shaky (both in-universe and out, like I’m kinda struggling to think how this story would play out properly)

Sebastian shows up looking for the soul Vincent promised.

Vincent is freaking out like, “No wait please let’s discuss this further” cause like he doesn’t wanna die, not now-

Sebastian’s like “Fine. You wanna live? I’ll give you an alternative” and he makes an offer.

Either Vincent let him have his soul now, or he offers the soul of his then-infant son, Ciel.

It would be stated that once Ciel turns thirteen, his soul would descend into Hell.

Vincent, not knowing what else to do, very hesitantly agrees to the latter.

Sebastian’s like “Very well, I look forward to that day” and disappears into nothingness (if anything he’s pissed off that he has to wait thirteen more fucking years to get a damn soul)

Vincent’s like “oh shit oh shit I fucked up BAD what do I do”

So goes to this fairy (or fairies I dunno) like “please help me”

So uh

You know how in the original Disney sleeping beauty film

The curse was originally “Aurora will die if she pricked her finger on the spinning wheel”

But one of the fairies sort of “waters down” the curse so Aurora would fall into a deep sleep instead of dying? (And she’d be awakened with true love’s kiss and shit)

A similar thing is happening here:

So like the fairy (let’s pretend that Tanaka’s in this role because why the fuck not) he’s like “Okay here’s what I can do”

Instead of descending into Hell, Ciel’s soul would only leave his body and maybe enter a state of limbo or something. (Ciel himself would enter a state of some sort of “suspended animation” one would say.)

As for how to fix it? “True love.”

(Audience note that he doesn’t say “True Love’s Kiss” just true love. Just a bit of foreshadowing that he's not actually talking about romantic love like the characters think)

Idk how logic would play into this shit just

It’s a fairytale world just go with it okay

So just like the film, Ciel is sent off with these three... fairies? Servants?

Okay I know I said the Phantomhive servants (Finny, Mey-Rin, and Baldroy) would play the role of the fairies and they still do

I just don’t know whether they’d be fairies or just Vincent’s castle servants that he trusted with his child

So the rest of the Maleficent plot plays out (Ciel grows up in the woods, Sebastian forms a father-son bond with him) I’d get into more of it but that’s for another time

Oh and uh btw I decided

Agni will be the role of Diaval (aka the crow character who turns human in the Maleficent movie)

We love us some Sebagni

Alright I think that’s about it okaybye-

[the-burd-lord]

Playing around with Alastor’s design a little bit. He would still wear most of the same outfit he wore back then, don't fix what's not broken, but with an added suit jacket that's a bit too big for him. I need to make a bit of to at some point, but after his break up he draws on a pencil mustache to add on to his emphasis of having a new appearance while still staying in his time.

A post depression mustache if you will.

As for some of his creepy aspects I'm cutting out the voodoo elements of his character, and instead using the uncanny and analog horror elements instead (I am a simple creature).

I need to actually remake the color pallets for him and old Vox, but essentially they both start off as black and white or with grey like colors, and gain new ones after they split up. Vox becomes more saturated and Alastor becomes sepiatone, as while it's more colorful it's still is reminiscent of the past.

Now time for some of the silly rivalry bits:

I’d image they would have casual debates on the radio and tv that would soon devolve into insults and eventually nothing but 30/50s slang and Creole French that would last for hours.

I need to finish writing this bit, but basically Charlie sees it as a good idea to go on Vox’s talk show to promote the hotel and herself. There’s some lil rivalry moments between Vox and Al, but ultimately Vox doesn’t fully let his grudges get in the way of hosting a good show.

Even though they mutually broke up they still each regret ending the relationship, and as such covey their loneliness in their respective mediums. Vox making sad, gay movies and being so worn out after that when he watches them he doesn’t even know what he made.

And Alastor having a late night audio story about a turtle and a hare going on adventures. There are times where he’ll just start describing crushing regret and isolation, and he’ll realize that he may have gone a bit far and try to steer it towards more of a happy ending with Vox listening in on all of it.

Something something relationship meme with a sketch I’ll probably never finish. Also surprising, but also not that surprising, to me that in "Stayed Gone" they didn't go with the obvious joke on what to call his late night talk show.

The grrls r fighting!! But for real this time.

Been playing with the idea of Vox turning into pure energy when he's overly stressed, or just becoming a weird robot creature as form he can take as an overlord. It's probably going to result in a lot of sketches where I 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 won't use Videodrome as inspiration (lie).

At some point I need to get a good animation program and just start making a bunch of animatics or animations cause I have so many song inspirations for these two.

Specifically one that I want to make a whole animation for is “(They Long to Be) Close to You.” Basically it’s just going to be them fighting interspersed with moments of them waltzing together. I think you can probably parse out the metaphors and connections I'm going for here.

Also me and a friend were talking about song inspirations and after I continually listened, watched, and worked (at least for me) on Hadestown we just replaced Hades with Vox in some of the songs.

🚨SPOILERS FOR HADESTOWN🚨

One stanza that I need to make an animatic for is in Chant Reprise, specifically 2:33-3:18 with the “I conduct the electric city” line.

This is going to become a bit of promotion for the show cause I love it so much. Probably my favorite musical ever! Also highly recommend listening to this version of "Chant," cause there’s a verse for Persephone and Eurydice that provide some cool reflections that reflect the original “Chant” in their verses.

There’s no direct references to any of the other characters, although you can add your own interpretations.

On that note here’s another song that reflects them. “How Long?” mainly with the “your pity won’t fit in my bed” lines, and when Hades and Persephone are actually singing to each other turning it into being about their relationship instead of the fates of Orpheus and Eurydice.

And a lil teaser for how they make up:

Will make another post about them. I have so many sketches WWHYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T ESCAPE EITHER VERSION!!!!

[hyperfixationsporfavor]

A Quarter-life Crisis

Synopsis: Higuruma takes some time to think with the aide of his ex-wife.

Author's note: Hey guys! I shared a bit of this fic awhile ago so here is the completed version. Feedback is always welcomed. Enjoy!

Warnings: brief reference to suicidal imagery, mental health struggles, divorce

Original Post

Hiromi had never thought of himself as a defender of justice, moreso a man with the inability to leave things alone, the need to pursue the truth. 

This persistence had finally managed to work against him

When the judge announced a guilty verdict for his client, he made eye contact with Hiromi, giving him the withering stare of betrayal. It burrowed into his gut, stabbing him and taking him out of himself for a moment. All of a sudden everything faded into the background as his body took control, a swelling feeling pounding in his chest. He got up from his seat and stalked over to the bench. With a shaky hand he grasped the gavel and lifted it over his head.

Bang. 

Then he lifted it again.

BANG.

Then again.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

Everyone stared in startled confusion, unsure of what he was doing. 

Shimizu, his associate, rushed over to where he stood with a worried look on her face.

“Mr. Higuruma?” she asked.

But he wasn’t there. He was long gone.

“Everyone come back. We’re having a retrial.”

The older judge furrowed his brow in annoyance. 

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“You're a joke,” he retorted.

The judge’s face turned red in anger.

“Mr. Higuruma. If you don’t collect yourself I’ll hold you in contempt.”

Hiromi gripped the gavel in his hand so hard his knuckles turned white. 

Without a warning he hurled the gavel at the window, shattering it in one fell swoop.

~

“Listen Higuruma, it’s nothing personal. We just need you to take a few days so we can clear the air.”

“I want a return date,” he insisted.

“I’m afraid I can’t give you that. Get your things. Go home. Rest. We’ll be in touch.”

~

Hiromi was on vacation. 

At least, that was his office's official statement. 

In actuality, he was waiting to see if he still had a job after his small incident in court. 

Small being the understatement of the century. 

Hiromi had been wallowing, mostly sleeping. The only light in his small apartment was from the television, replaying the same three movies over and over again. 

His phone buzzed on the coffee table and he reached out to grab it, squinting to read the name. 

(Name).

~

He arrived at your apartment at around eight. 

When you opened the door a sense of relief washed over him, something he hadn’t felt since his ‘break’ started.

“Hey stranger,” you warmly greeted. 

He couldn’t help but smile. “Hey.”

~

“I knew the second we got divorced your life would take a nosedive,” you prodded.

“And I knew your life would get infinitely better,” Higuruma retorted. 

You led him to the couch and made your way over to the liquor cabinet to fix him something. 

“Whiskey?” you asked.

“Please.”

You poured some for him and yourself, pressing the glass into his hand and joining him.

He took a moment to observe your apartment. Spacious and decorated with luxurious furniture. It made his place look like a broom closet. 

“So should we drink until we forget why you're here or would you rather talk?” you asked.

Hiromi looked down at his whiskey glass. “It’s been about two weeks since I’ve actually spoken to another human being so I’m not sure how great of a conversationalist I’d be.”

You set your whiskey glass down on the coffee table and crossed your arms, wrinkling your silk pajamas and matching robe. 

“We really don’t need to talk Hiromi, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

How did you see him? How did everyone else see him? Some nutcase that had thrown his career away, holed up in his apartment, sprawled out in a bathtub with his wrists slit, still in the suit?

God how morbid. 

But the situation he found himself in had caused his mind to go to some dark places.

“I appreciate it (Name). Really. How did you find out?”

“Everyone’s talking about it.”

Of course. 

The legal world was abuzz with the news of an exemplary public defender who took a stand in the courtroom. At least, that’s what one of the headlines read. 

“Of course. That was a stupid question.”

“I couldn’t believe it. What on earth possessed you?”

Hiromi knocked back his whiskey and set the empty glass on the table next to yours. 

“I honestly have no idea. It was like…losing control of myself for a second.”

“Any word from the court yet?”

He shook his head. “It’s been almost two weeks. I just wish they’d get it over with already.”

“You really think they’ll take away your license?”

“Well I insulted a judge, damaged federal property, do you have any vodka?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I should have just accepted it and moved on.

You smirked. “You know you’ve never been able to move on from an unsolved problem.”

“I got a divorce didn’t I?”

You chuckled. “Well you could always do improv comedy.”

Your phone buzzed and you retrieved it to see who it was. 

“It’s the office. Do you mind?” you asked.

He shook his head. “Go ahead.”

“Hey Kento.”

You got up and headed into the kitchen to continue the conversation. 

While you chatted, Hiromi's attention was caught by an old photo of you on the mantle over the fireplace. He recognized it instantly, having taken the picture himself. It was from your second date where the two of you had gone to the beach. He remembered chasing you into the surf, nearly stepping on a washed up jellyfish. The photo was of you looking back at him, a smile frozen on your face.

 All of a sudden he felt a little uncomfortable being here. The two of you had a past, you had been married, then divorced. Was it even possible for you to be friends after that?

You interrupted his train of thought, reentering the room.

“Sorry about that. We're negotiating this contract and the client’s convinced that if we're not working around the clock the deal will fall through.”

He stood up. 

“Then maybe I should go.”

You shook your head. “Don’t be silly.”

“No (Name). I mean…I don’t think this is appropriate.”

You furrowed your brow in confusion. “What isn’t appropriate?”

“This. Us. Shit. This isn’t weird for you? Us hanging out.”

“No,” you simply answered. “Is it weird for you?”

No. It had been as easy as reciting the alphabet. But it scared him, and he didn’t want to drag you back into his increasingly fucked up world. Not when you were doing so well. 

“No,” he uncertainly answered. “It’s normal.”

“And being normal with me is a readjustment?” you concluded.

He sighed in defeat. 

You took a step towards him. “Hiromi. I understand that our relationship is different from what it used to be. But I’m always here for you if you need someone to talk to.”

“But you don’t have to be, is what I’m trying to say.”

“I want to be,” you assured him.

And just like that he was readjusted. 

~

After Hiromi had calmed down you ordered Chinese takeout and put on The Graduate.

“I thought you said this movie is pretentious.”

“It is but it’s easy to enjoy when you're not watching it with a pretentious person,” you retorted. 

“Just for that I’m taking the last soup dumpling.”

~

The movie wrapped up with Benjamin and Elaine running away together. Joyously laughing as the bus drove off, only to slowly realize the massive mistake they had made. 

As Simon and Garfunkel played them off Hiromi asked a question. 

“Why didn’t it work out?”

“They were young and stupid,” you concluded.

“No, us,” he clarified.

You stabbed the fried rice with your chopstick. “For the exact same reason. We were still in school, convinced we’d make a difference, too naive to think out the long term.”

“And this is it?” he asked.

You sighed. “I’m afraid so.”

You set the takeout box on the coffee table next to your empty scotch glasses and faced your ex husband. 

“Do you think if we had met later in life, things would be different?”

“I’m not sure,” he truthfully answered. “We always wanted different things so maybe not.”

He cleared his throat, not sure if he should continue. “But even if it didn’t work out. I still don’t regret being with you.”

You gave him a soft smile. “Neither do I.”

He leaned back against the couch and looked up at the ceiling. “(Name). I have no idea what I’m going to do. Even if they let me keep practicing I can’t keep going like this.”

It was draining him. At this rate he wouldn’t even make it to forty.

“Maybe, a change of environment?” you suggested.

He lifted his head to look at you. “My firm has a pretty big dedication to pro bono work. You could still do what you're doing on the side with more funds and a lighter workload.”

Working in private corporate law? It was almost impossible to imagine himself with a secretary and expensive lunch meetings. 

Before he could respond you spoke again. “I know how you feel about private interests and you will have to see those types of things up close. But promise me you’ll think about it.”

After a moment an earth shattering realization hit him.

Damn. He was falling for you again. And he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

For the first time in his life he wasn’t sure about anything.

“Yes, I’ll definitely think about it.”

~

Hiromi got home at around two in the morning. 

You had offered to let him stay in your guest bedroom but he had politely declined, afraid of what the two of you under one roof could lead to. 

He was about to collapse into bed when his phone rang. 

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hiromi?” Shimizu answered on the other end. “Thank goodness you're awake.” 

“Yeah,” he replied. “What can I do for you?”

“I was working late at the office when I got the fax. Some interns messed up so it came in later than it should have.” 

“What?”

“You’ll have to meet with hr but your back. They’re letting you keep your license.”

“...Really?”

“Your record worked in your favor. And who else would work as hard as you do for such crappy pay?”

Shimizu didn’t get a response back.

“Hiromi?”

“That’s great. Really…but I need some time to think.”

“About what?”

“What’s best for me.”

Your smile came back to him.

He had a lot to figure out. 

It was a little late in life for him to be thinking about new jobs and new relationships. Maybe he was being rash. But he didn’t care. 

Better late than never.

~

The End.

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