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Item: Space Bagpipes; emits glass-shattering force rings

Frank Kelly Freas

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Item: Fish of Space Warping; objectively small, it distorts space around itself to be larger as a defense against predators.

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Item: trumpetonfas, for some reason

"Trumpetonfa the Music Princess" contains a portmanteau of trumpet and tonfa.

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Item: throbbing gem heart; it uh. Okay. It uhh appears to um affect the wearer in uh some kind of way—okay I’m really not sure what’s going on with this lady but personally I would take that necklace off

Schiaparelli

Fall 2025 Haute Couture

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Item: a couple of partially-eaten nickels

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Item: cobra-flavored Takis. I forgot to look at the ingredients list so I don’t know if there’s real cobra in them or if it’s artificial flavoring

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Item: horse sneaking suit

horse sneaking suit

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Item: Giant Fire-Breathing Hamster. Please note that Kirby is canonically only eight inches tall so I would estimate the Hamster is something like sixteen inches tall, but that is still pretty giant for a hamster.

Not to be confused with the Giant Space Hamsters from the Spelljammer setting, which are the size of bears and at least one variant of which can breathe fire.

Fire Hamster ‘Kirby’s Dreamland 2’ Game Boy

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Item: Essence of Gelfling

Does the essence inherently taste like strawberry habanero or do they add the flavor? That does kinda sound like the flavor profile I’d expect

Off the gelfsauce, behaving regretably.

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Item: some horses that got into some Potion of Yassification

can you show a horse figure that you consider terrible but in an affectionate way? Like it absolutely sucks but isn't it wonderful?

Petite Pony Pretties

I want them so bad like,, you have no idea what I'd do for them. I need them to make out with my Struts and Wild Manes and Bratz Ponyz

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Item: Dyke’s Beard Elixir; when a phial is consumed by any living creature they grow a profuse amount of facial hair, which may then be trimmed and styled as desired. The change lasts for 24 hrs after consuming; another dose will allow the hair to remain, but if the creature does not consume another dose the hair falls out.

Dyke's Beard Elixer, 1882

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Item: Mask of Whimsy

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Item: animated chair

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Item: hot sauce that doubles as Bigfoot bait

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Item: Ultimate Sex CD-ROM; when loaded into a Construct, grants it +10 on Skill Check (Lovemaking)

Subliminal Seduction (1996)

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Spell: Summon Greater Burger

sending out my burger of killing and violence to all my haters. good luck

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Clearly the (R) stands for Roll. Item: Deathknell #53 Fiendish Monstrous Scorpion Roll, a nice one dollar bread whose name I assume suggests it deals massive poison damage.

???