#house is gordon ramsey

[44cowboycryptid44]

Have y'all wondered what it would be like if House didn't go back to medicine after Broken and instead pursued cooking? Because I'm pretty sure he'd end up being the American Gordon Ramsey.

*in depth analysis of the reason the contestant's dish doesn't work ending with House diagnosing them with Daddy Issues*

"Sorry, chef"

*house-ian wink* "Call me Daddy"

cut to wilson losing his mind in the background. is he horny or just very disappointed? we will never know.

[afklancelot]

gordon ramsey: excuse me young lady. what’s going on in the house

daisy: there’s a uhh. there’s a minotaur in the allway

gordon: excuse me?

chad: she’s saying there’s a minotaur in the hallway

gordon: fuck me. ok dears thank you for your time. run along now

(chad and daisy leave)

gordon: there’s a minotaur in the fucking hallway. wow. alright. fucking hell

[dipperscavern]

HELP i'm gordon ramsay anon and that man is my "hear me out..." celebrity crush 😭😭 anyways i've been thinking a lot about what cregan's kinks are outside of breeding + size + possessive. like, i can't imagine him having an exhibition kink cus he doesn't want anyone to see u or spanking cus he doesn't wanna hit u in any capacity. maybeee. . . lactation to go along with breeding 😵‍💫 ? biting to claim u (classic wolf behavior)? winter council, how do we feel about spit kink, somnophilia, belly bulge, or predator/prey for cregan. . . i feel like cregan is a lowkey freak that has at least one hardcore kink under his belt 🫣 omg what about him commissioning leather belts long enough to tie u up

-👩‍🍳

GORDON RAMSEY ANON YOU WERE LOST TOO. I AM SO SORRY. COME BACK WE MISS YOU!!! #OGAnonSearchParty

anyways, very good question indeed. let me think — size kink, breeding kink, a possessive streak every blood moon for sure. BITING!! he likes biting you but LOVES being on the receiving end, and the predator/prey omfg. him chasing you through the wolfswood wait who said that. COUGH anyways belly buldge to go with the size kink!!!! i think his “hardcore” kink would be the predator/prey u mentioned, you’re a genius’ <3

[wolfblood-of-anubis]

the real question we need answered isn’t how in Horus’ name did Robert (and lets be honest here Louisa did most of the work) manage to make a scavenger hunt for ancient cup pieces, build tunnels and set up tasks that reaches throughout the majority of the property (how the fuck is the reflector task directly under the living room yet also has a path that leads to the library???) or how the fuck did he plan for Ammut being risen and for him being evil all within— what one year? not to mention wait for his wife to either die or divorce him so he could marry and have a son (KT’s grandfather).

aaaaallllllllllllll of that doesn’t matter in the long run because the question you should be asking is:

Who, where, and when were the other bake-offs that Trudy has had and won?

[spiderluvr1610]

dr. o'hara who works in pediatrics for years ends up treating one miles morales for appendicitis and doesn't realize the impact he had on the boy...

years later, miggy's burnt out from the stress of the job but lo and behold, guess who's working in the same ward to complete his residency?

little miles morales who grew up and was absolutely inspired to be just like doctor o'hara (who he definitely does not have a crush on)

[jargirls]

forcibly smashing together two completely unrelated fixations like a toddler playing with action figures. like wouldn’t a restaurant run by dr house and dr james wilson have a fucking amazing episode of kitchen nightmares

[dreastmilk]

I don't know what's happening

[lovexjoe]

Unspoken

Part 1 

Synopsis: Jack and Y/N have been best friend for years. She recently ended her 2 year relationship, due to moving to Atlanta for a better job opportunity. What’s going to happen when she stays with Jack for a week ?

Warning: fluffy, angst?, language and smut🧎🏽‍♀️

Y/N POV 

Great!!! I finally found an apartment for myself, but I have to stay at a hotel for a week due to maintenance. I sighed as I begin to search the internet for a hotel suitable to my needs. Currently I’m at Jack’s house, cause he offered to let me stay the weekend as I sorted myself out. Moving to a new state is draining. I left a lot of my things back home as my mom said it’s good to just start fresh. So I packed what I needed and hopped on the plane. I left so much behind, even my 2 year relationship. Surprisingly, I’m okay and even happier that it ended. There wasn’t a spark between us. He treated me well, but the relationship over all was boring. I guess I kept it going for so long, because it was better than being alone. 

“Alright what’s got you so stress? You been glue to the computer since you woke up” Jack says as he sits down next to me on the couch. 

“The apartment won't be ready for another week and I need to find a hotel beca-” 

“Hell no! Come on, you know you can stay here till it’s ready. I’m not taking no for an answer either. Now can you stop stressing before you explode. That vein on your forehead is serious” He starts his usual teasing. I laughed and playfully shoved him. 

Arguing with him was useless. It was his way or no way. I finally close my laptop and enjoyed whatever tv show he was currently hooked on. He stretched out his left arm and placed it on the back on the couch. I crawl into my usual spot: snuggled up with a blanket. 

“I missed you. I know you’re stressed but I’m happy to finally spend some time with you this week.” Jack says honestly. You were taken aback but also happy as well to be here with him.

“Me too”

Jack’s POV

She takes her usual spot on the opposite end of the couch, I so badly want to pull her close to me. As selfish as it sounds I hope her apartment takes an extra week so she could stay longer. And those god damn PJs she wears is gonna end me. She could wear a turtleneck and I’d probably still have the same reaction. 

I had met her through Druski as she was working with him for a while on video concepts and managing his social media. As soon as they linked up, she got his account to gain a million followers within a month. Thats why Jack put his full trust in her when it came to his social media. He’ll give her a heart attack here or there when he posts some random video of him trying to dance. Keyword is try because he looks like he’s glitching half the time. 

~~~~~

They indulge in a few episodes together before both of their stomachs start grumbling. Jack grabs his phone to open up UberEats. She gives him an insane look. 

“Jack you already ordered UberEats for breakfast, do you ever actually cook?” She arched her brows at him and he just looks at her cause lowkey she ate him up with that one. 

Oh yea forgot to mention, she got attitude that could last a lifetime and he fucking loved it. 

“You know I can’t cook!” He tried to justify but she’s already up and headed to the kitchen scanning the pantry and fridge for a simple meal. 

“Alright since you insist on me staying here for a week, you have to learn how to cook to at least survive.” She points the wooden spoon at him which causes him to laugh and throw his hands up in the air. 

“Goddamn Gordon Ramsey when did you even grab that!?” 

“Mmm don’t worry about that, give me a cutting board and knife stat! We making the world’s simplest meal. Pasta!” 

Pasta? Yeah no, he has spent his entire life over and under cooking pasta noodles. He watches her work the kitchen like a natural, pulling out ingredients he didn’t know what was what but he  tried his hardest to pay attention. She started with washing, then cutting then cooking. When it started to heat up in the kitchen, she tossed her hair up in a messy bun and in that moment Jack swore his heart could burst outta his chest.  He was trying his best not to stare inappropriately, but she was down right beautiful. 

Her ex was an idiot for letting her out of his sight, but he had to thank him because he’s not letting this chance pass up. There’s been multiple times throughout their friendship that her previous relationship and his hookups were not too fond of what they had. Which caused a few months of silence here and there. It use to kill him that he couldn’t reach out to her or hear her voice. She’s the reason why most of his hookups never lasted. Even during sex he wasn’t fully present, always distracted. 

As she finished up the tomato basil pasta, she turns around bumping into Jack not realizing he was so close to her. She felt so small around him, he looks down at her and smiles. 

“Hi” he says as he looks into her green hazel eyes that complimented her tan skin. 

“Hi…” she wish he would just kiss her, but she probably wasn’t what he even wanted. This man has the whole world at his feet. Why would he want her? They both stood there for a few extra seconds, just admiring their favorite features of the other. 

He swore she bite her lip 

She swore he was staring at her lips 

Kiss me already they both thought.

The sizzle of the pot reminded her she needed salt, so she purposely pushes up against him to grab the salt 

“Excuuuuseee me” she says innocently causing him to blush. 

“Smell yummy, thank you seriously” He says as she hands him his plate. As she makes her plate last, but Jack grabs it and heads over to the dinner table. Pulling out her seat for her, she happily sits as he grabs them some wine. 

“Oh my god, this is amazing!” He hums enjoying all the flavors that melt in his mouth. She’s really getting brownie points right now cause once his tummy is full he is a happy camper. 

This could be them, she thought. If only he wanted her. 

This could be them, he thought. If only she wanted him. 

After a few glasses of wine and enjoying the food together. Jack knew she was gonna crave something sweet because anytime he took her out dessert was always a must. He took her plate and nods his head for her to follow him.  

He grabs a bowl, vanilla ice cream, sprinkles, chocolate drizzle and whipped cream. Instantly her smile appears on her face, he still remembers her favorite toppings. How could he not though? He remembers everything about her. They both assisted each other is building the sundae. 

“Time for the finale!! Whipped cream!” She shakes it up and hands it to him to do the honors. Jack holds down the nozzle but it was stuck. He shook it one more time confused cause he literally just bought it when he told Y/N to stay at his crib. Yes he fully stocked the house and made sure it was squeaky clean before she got there. He even went to target and Ulta and stocked up on products she’d like or needed for the guest room. 

“This thing is stupid!” He holds the nozzle facing Y/N and it shoots out straight onto her neck and face. They both looked shock but Jack was trying so hard to hold his laughter in. 

“Oh you little shit!” They both busted into laughter. 

The wine definitely taking effect as laughter filled the air. Their stomach hurting so much from being full and the happiness that overcame them. Grabbing a towel, Jack pulls her close and the two still having the giggles. She wasn’t in control anymore because she couldn’t believe the words that was escaping her mouth. 

“Lick it off of me….” Jack freezes. Is he dreaming? Is she fucking with him? Wouldn’t be a nice joke but the way she was looking at him she’s lucky she doesn’t get bent over this island right now. 

“Are you sure?” He looks into her eyes wanting to confirm because if he starts god only knows if he’ll have the strength to stop. 

“Yea….make me your dessert.” She wipes some whipped cream off her neck slipping her finger in his mouth to suck it off. The need growing between them as she felt his tongue lick her finger dry. His lips meeting her neck, licking up all whipped cream on her as her moans escape her mouth. 

Fuck. He thought this was it, she’s gonna get eaten up tonight, he had to taste her. He was hungry for it. His hands caressing her face, as their lips finally meet. They both dreamt of this moment endless amount of times, but nothing….nothing could compare how this really felt. The little sounds she makes got him bricked up and aching. It’s almost as if she knew what effect she had on him cause her hand begins to palm him through his joggers. He groans into her mouth, causing a certain wetness to form in her panties. She never knew Jack had an aggressive side to him, she always teased him of being vanilla. 

He picks her up and sets her onto the island. Slipping her shorts off and spreading her legs. No panties? Fuck, her pussy glistened from her wetness under the lights. She closed her legs, starting to feel shy. 

“Nuh uh, open those legs for me. Lemme see that pretty pussy.” Oh god she loves this. He gets on his knees, kissing her lips, taking in her scent causing her hips to buck. 

“Jaack please don’t tease,” she feels his breath on her as he laughs, knowing exactly what he was doing. He takes her clit into his mouth, slowly sucking and swirling his tongue. He was so fucking handsome and with your pussy in his mouth made him even hotter. Working his tongue up and down your folds, you lift you hips slightly to ride his face. 

Fuck fuck fuck 

Jack couldn’t believe how fucking beautiful you looked under the island lights. Everything about you just amazed him. He works his movement with yours as he sees your body tensing up. 

“Fuck Jack, I’m- fuck I’m gonna cum!” In that moment he slips two of his fingers in, curving them upwards pumping them in and out. The only thing that could be heard was your cries and the wetness of your pussy. His fingers were big and long you could only imagine what he’ll stretch you out to. He pulls you close to him, placing little kisses along your cheek and neck. He lets you ride out your orgasm from his fingers. He only just begun with you, but he notices the slight sheen of sweat that covered your body. 

“You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted you.” He places a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Jack I need you, please.” She reaches into his jogger to pull him out. His tip already leaking with precum. Teasing him, she rubs his length between her wet folds causing him to groan. The lust that filled both of their eyes as they watch his tip play with her clit. Jack slipped in not being able to handle it anymore. 

Y/N lets out a soft cry not realizing how big he really was. Her back was cold against the marbled island, but the way Jack started pounding into her she couldn’t possibly give a fuck about anything 

“Jaackkk” she cries out throwing her head back

“I know it’s big baby, you can take it. Be good for me and take it.” His thumb starts to rub circles on her clit as he continues his ruthless thrusting. She was drunk off of his fucking. Not a single thought was running through her head besides the fact that he felt so fucking good and was deep.

“Look at you. Such a good fucking girl taking me. So beautiful baby.” He whispers his praises into her ear, till he feels her clenching him tightly. His free hand grabs the back of her hair firmly to make sure he was looking at him as she cums. 

“Mmm fuck, where do you want it?” She better answer quick cause those hazel eyes looked fucked out and he could barely hold on. 

“Inside me! P-please please” 

Jesus Christ 

He nods as he increases his speed, hitting a new spot for her causing her to come undone. She couldn’t even stop the babbling. 

“I love you I-I love you Jack.” He kisses her passionately, emptying himself deep inside her. 

“I love you too.” He says out of breath. 

He picks her up carrying them to his bedroom. She was completely out of it, her eyes closed and sleep slowly taking over her. He couldn’t imagine this moment any better. It happened so naturally. He tucks both of them in pulling her closely. She was his. He was hers. Thank god for that fucking apartment delay. 

~~~~~~~~

Y/N woke up feeling satisfied and definitely sore. Some of their friends were suppose to be flying in today to vibe for the next two days. She looks at the sleepy man next to her and smiles. They really had some nasty sex last night when just prior to that they were just best friends. She places a soft kiss on his forehead and decided to make them breakfast. She picked out some boxers and one of his t-shirts and got to work. As she was making them pancakes and eggs, the door bell rang and it was probably Druski since he had the earliest flight. She opens the door to see a girl, who looked like a super model holding a duffel bag. 

“Y/N, right?” 

“Uhh yeah…I’m sorry who are you?”

“I’m Jack’s girlfriend….”

Part 2? 😌

TAGLIST 

@dyttomori @harlowcomehome @itsyagirljaz

[shotmrmiller]

which one of the cod men appreciate home cooked meals the most

i think they all do for different reasons.

simon because yknow. shit childhood. he will inhale anything you put in front of him. used salt instead of sugar? wonderful. get gordon ramsey on the phone, there's a new culinary genius around.

kyle is a culinary god i won't hear otherwise. that man throws down in the kitchen so he loves to see you give it your best. (please use plastic or wooden spoons on his pans.)

johnny is reminded of home. personally believe that he likes to invite the boys over whenever he can because he's happiest when his house echoes with loud, tipsy voices and the clinking of cutlery. (will also beg you to please sit down, you've worked hard enough making sure they're all fed)

and john is a busy man who still had to come home and make himself some dinner but now his little love makes it for him and so he's gotten a newfound appreciation for it.

[loveharlow]

girl-dad!jj mini hc's

literally lets his little girl do whatever makes him happy

she wants to play dolls? he's putting on the best show. she wants to do his hair? he's walking around the house with pink elastics and butterfly clips in his hair. she wants to play restaurant? he's gordon ramsey.

loves buying the more aggressive/creative "daddy's little girl" type shirts ("papa's little princess", "daddy's biggest headache")

buys her every princess dress she wants until she has them all

she likes when you do your makeup so jj sits her on the vanity and pretends to do hers while you do yours

she always gives him little gifts (friendship bracelets, cookies, drawings, etc)

when she hits elementary and some little boy who has a crush starts bothering her, he doesn't say something like "well it's because he likes you" no. he says "if he pulls your ponytail again, do the thing I taught you, with the chokehold."

bought her an iPad (huuuge mistake) and he's the only who can take it from her

buys her a kitten for one of her birthdays

you both decorated her room but he was on the front lines, pink and glitter everywhere and she loves it

[chrisevansonly]

𝐌𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 (𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐣𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐜 5)

𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: nothing ever goes to plan in the Norris household, and it’s looking like a very muppet christmas…

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none, fluff and ofc slight banter, it’s lando cmon now

𝐚/𝐧: here we are another day another little holiday blurb!! i’m happy you guys have been enjoying these so far, i’ve been having a lot of fun writing them!

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

In all honesty you never thought you’d ever see the day where Lando, would attempt to make a gingerbread house for you, but today…well today just proved that thought wrong.

You hadn’t been home long, out running errands for Christmas seeing as it was your last day in Monaco, going back to the UK to spend the holidays with Lando’s family. So needless to say it was quite a shock to see the kitchen looking like a crime scene and Lando swearing quietly at the lives of the gingerbread home that wouldn’t fit together.

“Well, looks like a holiday bomb blew up in here..”

Laughing softly you entered the kitchen, Lando rolling his eyes dramatically

“Well i’m not Gordon Ramsey!”

“I figured you muppet”

Lando’s jaw dropped as he stood up, a hand on his waist

“Oh I see how this is, I do something NICE and CUTE for you and that’s what you’ve got to say?”

Cocking his eyebrow at you, the snort like laugh that escaped your lips caused a smile to tug at his

“Lan you are SO dramatic it hurts baby…sassy man you are”

“Sassy is better than muppet” He rebounded

“As if you don’t call me a muppet twenty four seven”

“Yeah because you’re my muppet” Lando said turning on his classic smile that never failed to make your knees weak

“Uh huh…so you gonna clean this up and let me show you how to make a proper gingerbread house?”

Lando shrugged, taking a look around the kitchen, letting out a sigh after a few seconds

“I suppose..”

You nodded walking over and pressing a kiss to his lips, his eyes softening when you pulled away

“Hmm you taste like sugar”

Not missing the smirk on his face you were quick to swat at his chest

“Get to work kitchen boy, you made this mess you clean it up”

“Aw cmon baby…don’t you wanna taste something else sweet?”

Lando laughed at the astonished look on your face, watching as your face flushed

“Clean the kitchen Norris.”

Rolling your eyes you shook your head smiling before leaving Lando to kneel over in laughter, not caring that he was getting icing and dough all over his sweatpants. Never being able to get through a conversation with an innuendo or the usual teasing.

What you did know, is it was shaping up to be a very muppet Christmas.

[alahmorah]

Picturesque Pranks

A/N: I’m excited to be writing again and to share it with others. This was fun! I hope you enjoy it. I always love stories with plenty of fun dialogue, so I hope it reflects in my writing.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, no y/n used

Warnings: 18+ only, Smut. No one’s read this but me, so mistakes may have been made lol. Praise and dirty talk.

Summary: Bucky and you are friends who enjoy pranking your fellow teammates, The Avengers. You’re stuck alone in a safe house after a mission and find yourselves in a predicament. Bucky is hot, as always. 

The small cabin you were achingly drudging towards was an old safehouse. The mission that just kicked your butt was over, and you and your teammate were supposed to be picked up here by the rest of your team. The only problem was that another mission had arisen, as they frequently do, and Tony had called to let you know there would be a slight delay. "It should just be a day or two, honestly. But, we've got a lead that we've got to take now, and..." he sounded rushed and admittedly apologetic. You kind of zoned out as he relayed the information on this lead -- something about a big-shot mobster with international clout making some sort of deal -- and you didn't care. You were tired and had walked miles through the woods after your getaway vehicle sputtered to a stop. Apparently, the hail of bullets that sprayed down upon you as you escaped had caused several important fluid leaks. You'd been looking forward to the ride back home on the Quinjet, but this cabin would have to do for now.

Your partner had been silent ever since you made your escape, only groaning when the car broke down. As soon as you entered, he muttered "Finally" and proceeded to guzzle three bottled waters from the stash left in the fridge. His metal hand crushed each one as he emptied it, tossing it into the small plastic basketball goal some goofball had hung above the trash can. The interior around you was so random and quaint. It was nothing like the sleek and technologically forward designs that you were used to, and none of the decor had Pepper's special touch. You were used to living with the Avengers, and this screamed cottage-chic. You supposed that it wasn't made to look like a hideout, so it made sense. You started checking out the ingredients in the pantry, deciding on making some quick and filling spaghetti. "How's Italian sound, Bucky?" You held up the jar of sauce and box of noodles you'd found.

"Honestly, that sounds perfect. Do you mind if I take a quick shower while you get it started? I promise to warm us up a can of green beans when I get out...might even consider adding some salt and pepper to 'em." He ripped off his mud-caked shirt while he asked, causing you to quickly avert your eyes from his strong torso. "Umm, okay Gordon Ramsey, don't show off too much. And, yes, please get out of those filthy clothes." You turned away from him to hide your blush as you realized what you'd said. He chuckled, "Yes ma'am" as he made his way to the small bathroom in the back of the house.

You hummed a tune as you filled up a pot with water and thought about the water that was making its way down the planes of Bucky's body right now. You dumped some back out into the sink as it overflowed, your thoughts keeping you from performing simple tasks. The noodles were done by the time he returned to the kitchen, and you heard him slowly walk up behind you as you were getting ready to drain them. "Here, doll, let me help. Oh, and don't you dare laugh. Just avert your eyes if you need to." He carefully grabbed the hot, heavy pot from your hands and proceeded to drain the water into the sink. You get a good look at him and let out an embarrassingly loud laugh, unable to catch your breath at the sight before you. Bucky just sets the pot down and does a little twirl as he rolls his eyes. "Ha, ha, ha. I know it's terribly funny, doll, but I swear this was the best of the four choices I was forced to make." Your eyes roam over his super-soldier body, which is currently adorned in a blue muumuu with a delicate yellow flower print. You finally catch your breath, "You've got to be kidding me. Why the hell would they stock a safe house with muumuus?"

He rolls his eyes, "I have a feeling this was all Stark. I doubt they're even on another mission, I think he's just fucking with us. I don't care at this point, I just want to eat and rest. I'll chew him out tomorrow."

Looking down at your dirty clothes, you realize there's no way you can sleep like this. "Ugh, I guess I have to accept my fate, too. Can you dump the sauce on the noodles and make your famous green beans while I clean off real quick? I'll just be a few minutes." 

"Yeah, go for it. There's not a washer, but I'll handwash our clothes after we eat so we can hang them to dry. I'm not giving anyone else a chance to see me in this." 

As he gets to work on finishing the meal, you head to the tiny bathroom. The heady aroma of Bucky's scent and soap washes over you, and you shiver under the hot stream. You swear he was going to drive you crazy. You and Bucky had a natural friendship from the start. He wasn't one to open up to new people easily, but something about your personalities just meshed. You often annoyed the team with your inside jokes and small pranks you'd pull on them. They were always harmless, just silly things like the time you replaced all of the spoons with gag spoons that had holes in them, or when you switched all of Tony's boxers with Natasha's lingerie...oh. Suddenly, your situation made a lot more sense. That happened months ago, and Tony laughed it off like it was nothing. Now you had to set some ground rules for the prank war that was sure to start. The first rule is to keep it at home.

You quickly finished cleaning up and wandered into the only bedroom in your towel. When you opened the closet door, you were confronted with three muumuus of varying colors. You grabbed one at random and went to the drawers to hopefully find some underwear. The first drawer was full of socks, so you checked the other three to find... more socks. There wasn't any underwear, and all of yours and Bucky's clothes were in the bathroom, which meant he didn't have anything on underneath either. Even the fact that he was in a muumuu did nothing to quell your body's response to that thought. You swiftly pulled the garment over your head, your stomach growling loudly as the scent of dinner made its way to you.

Bucky was sitting patiently at the table in front of two steaming plates of spaghetti and green beans when you entered, and he did nothing to hide his laughter at your appearance. "Thanks for dressing up for the occasion, doll." he smiles widely, spinning his fork in the spaghetti, and taking a big bite. "Mmm, to be honest, these things are comfortable. Maybe we can get the whole crew on board for Muumuu Spaghetti Mondays or something."

"Yeah, we can get a red, white, and blue one for Steve. I'm sure he'll go for it." As you imagine the formidable Avengers in muumuus, your shoulders shake with silent laughter. Bucky and you take a few moments to eat without filling the space with words.

The image of Tony flying around with a muumuu flapping wildly in the wind fills your mind, and you speak up, "By the way, I can't believe I forgot about what we did to Tony a few months back...of course this is all him."

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to remember. He's probably going to show up any minute so he can snap a picture and," Bucky's words stopped mid-sentence as the lights all went off suddenly, "speak of the devil." He quickly got up and went outside, looking for a sign of the man himself, while you picked up your plate and headed to the door, still shoveling spaghetti into your mouth. The night was exceptionally dark, as the moon and stars were covered by dense clouds. There was no sign of the Quinjet or a vehicle, and your eyes followed the dark shape of Bucky's figure as he searched the area. After a few minutes of quiet eating, you almost jumped as he rounded the corner of the house. "There's no sign of anyone. I checked the breaker, and it seems to just be a power outage." he huffed.

"Seems being the key word...I'm calling him." You carefully made your way back to the table to deposit your plate, quickly hitting Tony's name in your phone. He didn't answer but sent you a text a few seconds later.

Sry, busy. Surveillance. Sup?

                                                    Dude, the lights? Seriously? Stop fucking around.

Idk what you're talking bout. 

                                                    Electricity's out at the cabin. I know you're getting us back, we found the clothes. Game's over, Tony.

Look, I g2g. Sorry bout the electricity, but it wasn't me. I take responsibility for the clothes, though. Lol. 

                                                      You really on a mission?

I swear. I'm sorry, but we'll be there when we can. 

                                                        K, I'm trusting you.

Good. Have fun, and take a pic of Barnes for me. 

"You're not getting that picture, punk." You felt his warm breath on your neck, and goosebumps erupted over you. While texting Tony, you hadn't realized how close he had gotten. "Trust me, I wasn't about to obey him. Besides, we need to save the battery on our phones. We don't know when the power will be back on or when they'll be here to get us."

"Mmm...I guess so. Well, what now? I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly sleepy." You hear him shuffle about and rinse your plates in the sink.

"Well, it's too dark to read, we can't watch Netflix, can't play a board game. I guess we just have to entertain each other till we're ready for bed." you reach out for direction as you make your way to brush your teeth. The dark wasn't about to keep you from good dental hygiene. Thankfully, there were unopened toothbrushes and a tube of toothpaste in the cabinet that you both quickly used. He held your hand and led you through the unlit hallway to the bedroom, only letting go once you were sitting on the bed. "I'll be right back, doll...just gonna clean our clothes and hang them to dry."

You reached out, quickly grasping the metal of his arm. "I'll help," you started to stand when you felt both of his hands firmly on your shoulders.

"Hey, let me do this for us. Take some deep breaths and relax, I promise I'll be back soon, ya punk."

"Okay, okay. Thank you." You took his advice, though it didn't help you relax much. The sounds of him washing in the other room mixed with the consistent thump of your heartbeat in your ears. This symphony blended with the thoughts of sleeping next to him tonight and the worry about accidentally revealing your feelings in some way. You were wound up even tighter by the time he returned.

While the weather outside was calm and cool, the temperature inside the cabin was comfortable with a slight tinge of a chill in the air. You could feel Bucky's warmth as soon as he dipped onto the bed.

You picked up one of the smaller pillows from the mismatched selection and turned it over in your hands nervously. "Well, there's a fireplace in the living room that we can use if it gets any colder...we might want to see if we can find any candles around here tomorrow, too. If they haven't returned by then."

"While you're right, let's not think about tomorrow." He placed his hand on top of the pillow you were spinning. "Are you okay, doll? You seem a bit jittery."

"Yeah, sorry. The mission is still fresh in my mind, not to mention we don't know how long we're going to be here with no power. I guess it has made me a little anxious. I know everything's going to be fine." You shifted slightly closer to him. He was sitting near the end of the bed, facing you, and you were at the head of the bed. Your eyes had slowly adjusted to the inky blackness around you, and you could make out his shape. You wished you could view the details of his face right now and see the expressions that came across it. His body heat and your blush warmed your body as you felt him come closer, your crossed legs now touching his.

"Let's play a little game to relax your mind." His smooth voice dropped down to a husky tone. "What do ya say?"

"Okay, sure. Did you have something in mind?"

"How about word association? We can take turns saying a word or name, and the other person has to say the first thing that comes to mind. I used to play it with Steve. It's so simple, but it can help get emotions out and clear your head. Wanna try?"

"I'm down. Will you start?"

"Absolutely. Okay....Tony"

"Asshole!"

He laughed heartily. "See? That felt good right?"

You nodded into the void of the room, "Yeah, it did. Umm...blanket"

"Fort. I haven't made a blanket fort since I was a kid. Potato."

"Soup... sounds good. Hard"

"Wood. Lip"

"Stick. Blue"

"Balls." he said quickly. 

You laughed hard, trying to catch your breath and falling backwards onto the pillows. 

"Blue balls are no laughing matter, sweetheart." You could hear the smile in his voice as he tried to avoid laughing. 

"I mean, it's kind of funny that that's the first thing you thought of." You just knew he was rolling his eyes. "Okay, Buck, give me a word."

"Blow"

"Suck. Hand"

"Job." he let out a quiet laugh, "Sorry, but once a game starts getting dirty it's hard to steer it back to normal."

"S'okay, Buck, we're both adults here." You hated how breathy your voice sounded now. He was getting to you, as he always was. You suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to lean forward and kiss him, though you couldn't make out the expression on his face to help you judge the situation. The risk of losing Bucky as a close friend kept you from moving forward. You didn't want to push your romantic feelings on him, though you knew you couldn't keep them secret forever. You extended your legs beside him and reached out for his arm, needing something to anchor you in the midst of your storm of thoughts. Your fingers landed on cool metal. "Will you lay down with me? Please?"

His shadowed figure moved to your side and stretched out. "Sure. Ugh, this feels so much better. Alright, it's my turn still. Let's see, Steve."

"America." This drew a chuckle from him. "Whipped"

"Cream. Lap"

"Dance. I got a question for you, Buck. What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?"

He paused a moment, trying to think of anything but the obvious. "I've got to be honest with you, doll. Fuck is the only word I can think of right now."

"Firetruck, Bucky! Your mind is so dirty."

"You got that right." He shifted his bare legs next to yours, causing warm, electric jolts to move up your leg to your center. "Well, doll, I'd tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long." 

"Oh, yeah? Well, do you want to hear a joke about my vagina?"

"Sure."

"Nevermind, you'll never get it."

"Is that so?"

"Mmmm...possibly."

"Baby, are you a sea lion? Cause I see you lyin' in my bed."

As turned on as you undoubtedly were, Bucky still made you laugh uncontrollably. You both giggled, trying to release the tension that had been building up since the day you met.

You caught your breath just long enough to utter, "Is that muumuu from space? Because your ass is out of this world!" Another round of chuckles erupted, only to slowly come to a stop when you felt both his warm flesh and cool metal hands cup your cheeks.

"I love to hear you laugh, doll. There's no one else I'd rather be stuck with in a tiny cabin with only muumuus to wear." You nuzzled into his touch, brushing your lips against his palm. His breath hitched, and he retreated his flesh hand quickly. You were instantly worried that you'd taken it too far, and your mouth opened to apologize when you suddenly felt his soft lips upon yours. Bucky's hand crept up the back of your head into your hair, and you moaned into the gentle kiss. You could feel his smile as you vocalized your appreciation.

He pulled back slightly, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. "I take it that sound means this is okay with you, doll?"

"It's more than okay, Bucky." Your lips met his again, capturing his plump bottom lip between your own. The low hum of his groan ignited you both, and you both opened up, tasting each other. You were quickly drunk on Bucky; his smell, taste, and touch were all that you could focus on.

He shifted in the bed, making his way between your thighs, which spread open eagerly in anticipation of feeling him completely. "Baby, you've been driving me crazy since the day we met. Steve had to talk me out of pursuing you. He said the way I was eye-fucking you in front of our teammates was unprofessional."

"Steve said that?"

"In his own words," he let out a breathy sigh and rubbed his hard length against you, "you feel that, babe? That's what you do to me every day. Every time I watch you fight, when you stumble into the kitchen half-asleep in the mornings, or when you get mad at paperwork, it doesn't matter. I always want you, want to hold you, fuck you senseless."

"Please," you start pulling up on the flowing garment in the way of his gorgeous body, "please, let's get out of these."

"Mmm, I love how eager you are, baby." He pulled the clothing over his head in one swift motion, but stopped your hands as they pulled at your own fabric. His large hands engulfed yours, forcing you to slow your movement up your thighs.

"I can't do this if you're unsure in any way, doll. I want you for more than a night, more than a few months. This can only happen if you want to be mine as much as I want to be yours." He nuzzled his nose against yours, his mouth open so close to yours.

You tried to taste him again, but he moved just out of reach as he waited for your answer. "I've been yours, Bucky...always have been." He groaned into your mouth as your tongues met again, slowly savoring one another. He pulled the garment further up to your hips. His thumbs caressed your hips on either side before he moved them back to grab your ass. "Mmm, so soft."

You whined as he continued to slowly bring the fabric up your body, molding his hands to your sides as he went. He finally removed it, but just as you thought he would ravish you, he pulled himself back. Your collective pants of want filled the silence of the dark room. You heard him take a shaky breath as you felt his hands gently touch your cheeks, moving down your neck and the sides of your breasts before stroking your waist. The wait made your skin even more sensitive; trails of goosebumps were the evidence of his light touch. "God, I wish I could see you," he groaned.

Unable to help yourself any longer, you smoothed your palms down his chest and abs, feeling the softness of the steely muscle. You felt your heart skip a beat at the light gasps he let out as your hands explored him. As your touch traveled lower, he stopped your movement and leaned forward. "Please...everything in me wants to savor you first. You're making a mess of me, doll." His lips met yours again as he lowered himself, before kissing his way down your neck. Sharp bolts of pleasure shot through you with every touch, every kiss. He was igniting you in a way you've never felt, and the intensity you experienced with each pass of his lips was leaving you breathless. His hands molded over your breasts, and you once again relished the duality of cool and hot, soft and hard.

"You're so gorgeous and so, so responsive for me." He smoothed his fingers over your hard nipples, circling them gently and making you ache even more for him. The sensations jolted through your body, and you could feel yourself grow wetter with each caress. Bucky added his soft tongue to the mix, alternating between lapping at each peak and sucking lightly. As he made his way down achingly slowly, his teeth grazed your breast and sensitive stomach.

His warm breath set you on fire, and you were torn between pulling him up for more kisses and lifting your hips to align his mouth with your core.

You felt his lips on you first, softly kissing your clit. You let out a pleased, breathy moan as he eased into it, warming you up with gentle kisses and suction. Then, his tongue swept across your clit and you yelped at the pleasure.

He hummed deep in his throat, and you felt the vibrations from his mouth on you. "Ah, fuck," you uttered, unable to hold back all the sounds he was coaxing from you. Your hands released the sheets they were gripping beneath you to grab Bucky carefully by his hair. You accidentally tugged the strands once he started moving back and forth on the perfect spot, and he groaned in pleasure.

He grabbed your thighs rougher than before, and you could feel him grind against the bed as he tasted you. You felt yourself clench tighter.

The contrast of his hands on each of your thighs heightened the sensations of his tongue. You felt as though you would burst when he lifted his head to groan, "Mmm, I've been missing out."

"Bucky, I want you in me so bad" you gripped his strands again, eager for him to enter you.

"And I want you to come first, doll," he started thrusting his tongue into you, teasing you with what he knew you wanted.

"I'm, mmm, going to explode if you don't fuck me," you shook, feeling yourself losing control as he flattened his tongue against your clit.

"Fuck yes, please explode for me."

It was easy to comply with his command as he started to swirl his tongue on the perfect spot. You gasped, and he knew you were done for. "Mmmhmm," he vocalized deeply, urging you to release for him. He pressed two fingers inside, flexing them and massaging with a skilled rhythm as his colder fingers smoothed over your nipple. Your pleasure rose and burst, rumbling through your entirety.

"So delicious..." he nipped at your quivering thighs as you came down.

You caught your breath for a moment before moving to sit up. "Please, Bucky, please let me taste you."

He groaned deeply, almost growling. "If I let you do that now, I'm done for sweetheart. Another time, I promise."

"Let me ride you then? Fuck, I need you, I want to make you feel good."

"You're already making all my dreams come true, doll" he lays down and you quickly straddle him. He's so hard and hot against your cunt, and you can't help but slowly rub yourself up and down the underside of his length. You lean forward, suddenly desperate for his taste again. He's just as ready for the kiss, leaning up to catch your lips and tongue with his own. You lose yourself for a moment as you devour each other, before Bucky's whimper alerts you to his need.

You move your hips to catch the head of his thick cock and sink down gradually, allowing yourself to both adjust to his size and fully appreciate the moment.

"That's it...you're so perfect." He twitched inside you as you sat all the way down, stilling yourself for a moment once you fully engulfed him. You stay this way, feeling full, as his hands caress your hips. He drags them down your quivering thighs, which ignites you to lift up and slowly push back down. You can feel him trembling beneath you. It's as if you're both fighting the all-consuming passion you feel inside by keeping this leisurely pace, but you want to savor your first time together and remember every second. With each gentle drag of your hips, his groans become more drawn out and louder.

Bucky breaks first. "Fuck, I've got to..." he sits up and grabs you, flipping you around to the bottom. He's shaking with need as he grips your thighs and lifts your hips before entering you. You don't know how long you can handle this new angle, it's so good and hits everything inside of you just right. He leans forward enough that your clit slides against him with every thrust, which are steady and deep.

"You're going to make me come again" you breathe out, trying to not sound as desperate as you undoubtedly are. 

“That’s what I’m hoping for, doll.”

You grip his rocking hips with your thighs, trapping him against you. You’re so close and need to feel him as closely as possible while he fucks into you. 

“That’s so hot, baby” he whimpered, “squeezing me like that, fuck. I’ll stay here as long as you need, sugar.”

He leans down to nip at your ear, groaning  “I only want to here between your luscious thighs, baby. Need your cunt, yeah, need you like this all the time. So perfect for me…” Bucky's words turn into moans and whimpers mixed with your name.

You could feel him swelling inside you, his hips wildly thrusting now. Your own end was blossoming throughout your body, quickly building. “Cum inside me, Bucky, it’s safe. Please.”

His groans came out with every movement now, and the sound of Bucky coming undone made you get there first. Your thighs trembled against him as your orgasm took over your muscles, your eyes rolling back in pleasure. At the peak of your bright, spasming pleasure, you felt the heat of Bucky’s cum filling you. He looked euphoric as he gasped and fucked into you with a few more powerful strokes as you both let go of everything together. 

Bucky took a moment to catch his breath, then gently brought his face close to yours, kissing your lips and neck reverently. “You're finally all mine…needed you for so long…” He mumbles against your skin as he stays inside of you, your bodies still together. You spread your fingers over his beating heart and doze off happily.

You drift slowly out of a comfortable dream as the dance of light is perceived through your closed eyes. You feel so warm, so safe. As you shift, you feel Bucky move to pull you closer, and you smile.

It’s too cozy to get up or even to open your eyes, so you just nuzzle closer to him, feeling his bare skin against yours. He drags his fingers through your hair and you feel him sit up slightly. His touch moves down your neck and shoulders. “Fuck, you're gorgeous, baby. You open your eyes to meet his heated gaze as it drifts over your body. Something about the moment feels otherwordly, like you’re both still dreaming, but as you hear the quick turn of the door handle and the click of a camera, you both turn your eyes to see Tony himself.

“Oh shit…um, guys, hang back. DO NOT COME IN, I repeat, DO NOT COME IN!” He quickly backs away and runs outside as you hear the Quinjet landing. Bucky and you stay frozen for a minute as you hear him take off outside. 

Bucky takes a deep breath. “He doesn't even know what's coming to him, now. And don't worry, doll. Tony Stark's not going to get a free nude from either of us.” You give him a soft kiss as you both stand up to get ready for the ride home. “I can think of a few ways to get him back, Bucky. You?”

“Of course, doll. Let's discuss this in your room when we get back?”

“Can I use the whiteboard?”

He laughs as you pull on your clothing. “Yes. You could even make a PowerPoint if you want, baby.” 

“Thanks, Bucky. At least he didn’t get an embarrassing picture of us in muumuus….right?”

Bucky's eye roll that day was legendary.

Thanks so much for reading! 

[charliehoennam]

forever home

a/n: i rewatched the office and it was that episode where jim buys pam a house 🥰

pairing: william miller x f!reader

warnings: none (i think. i suck with tags, sorry), just fluff, not proofread so sorry for any typos

It's almost 11 p.m.

You're sat on the couch, trying to keep your tired eyes open as you watch a rerun of Hell's Kitchen.

With Gordon Ramsey's yelling and cursing in the background, you lift your phone once more to check for any new messages but there aren't any. You open up the chat with Will on the messaging app and reread his last text.

"Having one for the road. Be home in 20. Love you 💚"

You don't want to be one of those nagging fianceés, but the urge to text or call him is just bubbling inside. That was almost an hour ago and you're starting to get worried.

What if something happened to him on the drive home? What if he got into a fight at the bar?

It would be a surprise, but it wouldn't be the first time. Despite the progress he's had through therapy, you know how he can be impatient at times and a little hot-headed too. And maybe a little cocky too, although he would only let that side shine through at Benny's matches.

The trust you have in each other is the one of the main foundations that you've built your relationship on. Opportunities like these are essential to remind, not only you, but also himself of how far he's come.

You remind yourself of that when you hear a car pulling into the condo's parking lot downstairs. It takes all of your willpower to refrain from racing to the window to make sure it's really him. Truthfully, you just want to know if he's alright.

Will's tired legs slowly his heavy body up the single flight of stairs that led up to your small and shared condo apartment. His arms are so sore that he can barely hold the keys in his hand as he unlocks the door. He's never felt so tired, even on his deployments.

For the past 3 months, Will and his team have been working on a new house. He'd gotten into the business of buying and flipping houses which has been working out really well for him.

He loved being able to work with his hands and there is something just so gratifying to him about seeing something come together so beautifully after lots of sweat, work and a little bit of blood whenever he's accidently hurt himself. Will was usually very cautious, but accidents can happen to anyone.

You always supported him and his career since he'd expressed his desire to get into the business. You're thankful he did. Will's really good at what he does and he genuinely loves being so handy.

One of the other perks is getting to watch him in action. There's something so attractive about watching your fiancé slam a sledgehammer to a wall. Will knows you like watching him too, so he'll flaunt his muscles off whenever you come around to bring him some materials or sweet treats for the team.

However, this specific project has really been taking up most of his time and you just cannot wait until it's done and sold.

As usual, Will and the guys get together every Friday night to catch up, watch a game and shoot the shit. It's their own way of making sure everyone - particularly Tom ever since the divorce - are still hanging in there.

Opening the front door to the apartment, he steps inside and locks the door with a tired sigh before near the open plan kitchen to set his wallet and keys on the breakfast counter.

"Hey, baby. Sorry I'm late. Tom got a little carried away with the beers and I had to give him a ride."

"It's alright, honey," you yawn. "Did the guys get home alright?"

You look over the back of the couch and watch him kick off his dusty work boots at the door. His work jeans are tattered, splattered with dried old paint and wood varnish. The faded tan jacket is peeled off his body and hung up on a hook.

A mental note is made in your mind to convince him to buy new clothes when you go out the next time, although you know that'd be a bit of hassle since he's too stubborn to waste money on himself. It's nothing a batting of eyelashes can't handle.

"Yeah, sweetheart. The other guys just had a couple beers, but you know Tom," he struts over as he shares with you, bending down to kiss you hello and plops himself on the couch beside you, manspreading his legs as a arm drapes of your lap, hand stroking your thigh. "He's really going through it."

"I can imagine. You been talking to him?"

"I have, yeah. Invited him to the support group, but you know how he can be."

You nod adjusting to lean closer and thread your fingers through his hair. His blonde eyelashes flutter as he closes his eyes, instantly melting under your touch.

"Yeah, I know, baby. But don't give up. You never know. He might just show up one day."

"I know, sweetheart," he smiles before opening his eyes as his head turns to face you with a gentle squeeze to your thigh. "How was your day, beautiful?"

"Just the same ol'. Made your favorite for dinner though" you smile watching the exhaustion in his eyes slowly fade.

"Pesto chicken alfredo pasta?"

His blue gleam with hope. His pretty pink lips stretch into a wide smile behind the golden whiskers of his beard. You chuckle at how happy he gets when it comes to food.

You know it stems from the lack of indulgence during his deployments. Will's no fussy eater, but when he's home, he indulges when he can to make up for the barely edible chow he and the guys had to eat. Although tasteless and sometimes expired, Will never had any problems with it because he knew the purpose wasn't to be good, but to keep him alive.

That's why he quickly back up on his feet and striding towards the kitchen to heat a plate up for himself, leaving you to snicker at his excitement. If there's one thing that the Miller brothers share, it's their appetite for food.

"How's the house coming along?"

"We finally fucking finished, babe," he grins plating the cold food. "It looks so good though. I cannot wait for you to see it. You are going to love it." Of course. He built it with you and your tastes in mind. "Tomorrow, I'm taking you to see it."

"Really?" you grin.

Your opinion is very important to Will and he always comes to you when he's got doubts and is in need of a feminine point of view, so it's not exactly uncommon for him to bring you to his projects for a look-around.

The next morning, you find yourself in his car listening to No Excuses by Alice In Chains.

With nothing else to do, you sing along to the song as Will drives steadily

“Can I please take this thing off?” you ask adjusting the blindfold he’s got on you. “I don’t want cops pulling us over thinking you’re kidnapping me.”

“Baby, no one’s gonna pull us over” he chuckles at the thought. “We’re almost there.”

You try to focus on the sounds beyond the car in an attempt to locate where you are, but the catchy tune playing from the stereo makes it impossible. The only thing you know for certain is that you’re not in the city. The familiar salty scent strikes you as clear as day.

“Are we at the beach?” your voice fills with excitement.

“You’ll see soon enough. We’re here. I’m gonna help you out of the car, hold on.”

You can hear the smile he’s got plastered on his face. Will finds it cleverly adorable how you figured part of his surprise out already. it's not enough to ruin it though.

Just as promised, he opens the car door and takes your hand to carefully help you out of the car with kind instructions. You hold onto his hand as you settle on the stony driveway. Although from a distance, you can still hear the ocean waves quietly splashing on the shore.

"Take a look," he grins anxiously untying your blindfold.

Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the bright light of the blue sky but, once it does, you freeze in awe of the house before you.

The mediterranean-style house is simple but large and elegant. Red Italian tiles and cream-colored paint exude a rustic and mysteriously familiar feeling that makes you feel at home.

Colorful flowers strategically planted grow in the grassy front lawn. Behind it, potted flowers sit on the low wall that encloses the small garden along the gated pathway to the door.

You and Will had talked about buying a house for a long time. Little did you know, Will had made a list in his precise mind of every little detail that you desired in your forever home.

"Will, this house is beautiful. You might have finally outdone yourself!"

He chuckles filled with relief and joy as he listens to you swoon over every small and carefully thought out detail of the exterior.

"C'mon, let's take a look."

He takes your hand and leads you up the pathwalk to unlock the door. You step inside the empty home and marvel at the space.

"Wow... It looks small from outside, but it's pretty big huh?"

"I thought so too. I kinda liked that about it."

"I love it! It's like a little illusion and then, you come in and it's just so much space," you grin roaming around each room slowly to take everything in.

"Do you like the windows?"

"Yeah, they're lovely. They really add to the mediterranean/contemporary vibe you got going on here. Can we see the kitchen? You know how much I love kitchens," you giggle excitedly.

"Of course. It's right over here."

"The floorplan is really nice and open too, huh? Oh, the sink! You installed the farmhouse sink! Undermount, too! The owners will love that."

Will smiles as he gazes at you, watching your reaction lovingly as you wander around the house and notice every tiny detail that Will spent countless hours pondering over to ensure you would have the house of your dreams.

The project cost him a pretty penny, but every single cent and drop of sweat he had spent investing into this home was certainly worth to see your eyes light up with every nook and cranny.

He led you to the backyard compete with a pool and beautiful stones and bright green plants that made it feel like your own little personal lagoon, with a wooden pathway that leads to a private gateway to the beach behind the house.

In truth, you feel like you're in paradise. You could spend every day in this house without the urge to leave it.

"So? What do you think?" he smiles holding your hips.

"I think this is your masterpiece, babe" you grin holding his strong biceps. "Do you have any buyers yet? I bet this will be the most expensive house you've sold yet."

"Actually, someone's already bought the place... This is ours."

You stare up at him in shock.

"A-Are you serious? You bought this place for us?"

"Mhm," he nods with a shit-eating grin. "The farmhouse sink, the red italian rooftop tiles, the little garden... It's everything that was on your list."

As tears fill your eyes, you hug him tightly and sniffle as your arms tighten around him. You want to thank him, but you're too speechless to say anything although your reaction says everything he needs to know.

You think back to all the long pillow talks you've had, where he'd casually asked you about little bits and pieces he should add to the project. You would have never guessed the project he'd been working on was your new home together.

The mere fact that Will had gone through so much trouble to make this house perfect to every desire makes your swell. Being designed by the love of your life is the finaal cherry on top.

"Thank you, Will," you mumble still stunned as you stare at your new backyard.

"Welcome home, babe."

[labyrinthofsphinx]

What is dinner like in the alastor vox house hold? Cuz I can see them all willing to stab eachother with there forks for the last pice of bacon.

-ferret anon

Depends on who’s cooking! They swap off:

Vox is a GREAT cook, but much more Gordon Ramsey style, and all that implies. (Super particular ever since he got a cooking show segment). He hates cooking with Al’s “ingredients” because 1) Al likes stuff raw and that’s just asking to get sick, 2) it smells like literal death, 3) it’s not even a quality meat. Al looooovees when Vox makes him stuff because he knows a hundred and one different ways to make it, and it’s all good.

Al is a good cook, but more mom style and always specializing in comfort southern foods (most of his recipes are from his mom). When he cooks his own “diet” , well, he’s the only one that ends up eating it:

Yeahhhh Vox either cooks or he orders out for the two of them.

thanks for the question!

[gothamite-rambler]

Bruce rested in bed, promising to take a day off from being Batman, but he was so hungry and bored. Alfred wasn't at the house though.

Bruce: I'm going to cook something simple. I'm the goddamn Batman, I can do this!

Bruce got out of bed and changed into casual attire then did what anyone in the 21st century would: Cooking tutorials on youtube

The choice he picked? Grilled cheese sandwich.

Bruce: Skillet? I need skillet!

Bruce found it eventually and got the other ingredients. Bread, sliced cheddar cheese, grey poupon mustard, and butter.

Bruce: Okay, didn't pick the Gordon Ramsey video, picked this lady who looks like she's from the fifties... I can do this.

Twenty minutes later and he did it. He made the sandwich with only a slightly burned side. He sighed relieved and then took a careful bite.

Bruce: Huh... not bad. Thank God, I did it. Checking that off my list.

Alfred and Dick entered the kitchen and saw Bruce eating his sandwich, but leaving a mess in the kitchen.

Alfred: How did he not cause a fire?

Dick: Really Bruce? You can't clean up at least?

Bruce (while eating): Hey, I did this. It's my accomplishment for the day, I'll clean that mess after I'm done eating.

[blossom-works]

Dad Duties

» Kylian is thankful for his niece and nephew because they prepared him for fatherhood. He knows how to change diapers and how to be patient. Kylian likes to think that he has always been good with kids, but taking care of his own child is something new and grand.

» His time as an uncle did not prepare him for the other things though. Did you know that a baby's first poop when they come out of the womb is called meconium? Cause Kylian certainly didn't know. He freaked out when he saw the tar-like substance in the tiny diaper. You were a bit freaked out too so you asked your nurse.

» The footballer did learn how to change a diaper fast and efficiently. Seriously, his son is like a squirt gun. You have no idea when he chooses to fire it.

» As a joke, you put Matthew in a ninja turtle beanie and turtle shell blanket. Kylian found it so cute that he took a picture and set it as his new wallpaper.

» The first few nights were horrible though. Kylian thought that all Matthew needed was a new diaper and some milk to go back to bed. Oh, how wrong he was. Babies apparently like to stay up for a while before going back to sleep.

» Since you chose to breastfeed Matthew, Kylian feels bad that he can't really do anything during the night. When you're up feeding your son, you might as well change his diaper too. Kylian does tell you to wake him up to put Matthew to sleep, but sometimes you don't listen.

» Baby's first bath went horribly wrong. In Kylian's mind, he thought that he could bathe Matthew as he did with his niece and nephew when they were little. Kylian did not realize that Matthew's first couple of baths needed to be sponge baths because of the umbilical cord. The leftover part needs to dry so it can basically pop off. When you told Kylian this, he kind of just froze in a "Oh shit" type of way.

» Kylian also had no idea how to do a sponge bath for a baby. Help.

» You and Kylian tried breastmilk for the first time too. Don't ask how that happened.

» It takes you and Kylian about two weeks to find some kind of a routine for Matthew. After that, parenting got easier.

» Matthew grew a lot after his first month of being home. He got longer and weighed a little more. It astonishes Kylian at how fast his son is growing. He wishes he could go back to when he first came home with his baby.

» Kylian's family came climbing into your home when Matthew was three weeks old. They were practically fighting to see who gets to hold him first.

» Wilfriend ends up winning and he doesn't let go of his grandson. Fayza has to scold her ex-husband to let everyone else get a turn...Then she hogged Matthew.

» Malisa gave you a lot of pointers as a new mom. Your sisters are back in America so it's good to have someone with you to guide you. Even if they live in the country next to you.

» One time when Matthew was five months old, Kylian asked you to bring him over to the club to meet his teammates. None of them have seen Matthew in person, so imagine a bunch of dudes leering over a baby. Kylian stood on the sidelines with his chest puffed with pride.

» One of Kylian's teammates held Matthew up and aided the kid in making a goal. It was all fun and games until Kylian got upset that he didn't assist with his son's first goal. He got over it eventually when you told Kylian that he could teach Matthew how to score goals better than anyone cause his dad is Kylian Mbappe.

» When you were pregnant with Matthew, you and Kylian agreed to raise your family as humbly as possible. Similar to Gordon Ramsey, when they get to a certain age, your kids will have to either pay for themselves if they want to travel or just not travel at all. They will also be prohibited from using Kylian's private jet when they reach a certain age too.

» Allowances are allowed but to an extent. You really have to be the enforcer on this. Allowance is earned when the kids do their house chores. No chores done, no money given. You forbid Kylian from giving his kids more money than they should be given. Really, you have to be strict on this with your kids and your husband.

» Oh, and as soon as the kids are legally allowed to work, no more allowances. No argument. If they really want something they better work for it. You and Kylian had a similar upbringing so you know the value of money and how to use it responsibly. You want to teach those same values to your children.

» You have to limit Kylian's options for presents though. Sure it's their birthdays and it's Christmas, but don't give the kids a freaking life-size playhouse. Presents are always reasonable and a few of those presents are name brands. If Kylian wants to give the kids something name-branded, it has to pass through you.

» To say Kylian is excited to teach his son how to play football is an understatement. When Matthew was only a couple of months old, Kylian bought a kid's football net and ball. He really wants his son(s) to love the sport and have at least one play professionally. If they don't then so be it. Kylian at least wants to plant the seed.

» At some point, Matthew becomes fascinated with ears. He is either touching his or someone else's ears. He will pull and rub his hands all over the body part.

» His first Father's Day was an emotional one for Kylian. In Spain, Father's Day is always celebrated on March 19th. Matthew is only seven months old so you came up with a cute craft. Using paint you made a shoeprint on one of Kylian's shoes and another on top of it with Matthew's footprint. Next to is a sentence that says, "Following in your footsteps".

» You did all of that while Matthew was napping so he wouldn't be fussy and mess everything up. Smart mom brain.

» Kylian refuses to let the media see Matthew until he is at least one. The first time the world got to see Matthew's face was when Kylian brought him to do the traditional player escort. Matthew stayed with you in the stands after that.

» Matthew was certainly scared when he entered the pitch with his dad. The loud cheering and flashing lights were overwhelming to the boy. He cried on Kylian's shoulder. Kylian was able to calm his son down a little by distracting Matthew with his hands.

» Kylian loves being a father. He has always wanted to be a father and now he is one. It has been a great joy to witness his son grow from inside of you to outside of you. There are certainly things Kylian can do better about his parenting skills. Maybe he can convince you to have another one so Kylian can perfect his parenting skills?