#horrible back issues.
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i hate myself.
#too forgetful.#too distracted.#too incompetent.#too stupid.#too unprofessional.#too immature.#too rude.#too sarcastic.#too awkward.#too weak.#too doesnt look like a word anymore lmfao.#horrible with dealing with emotions.#horrible exercise intolerance.#horrible sleep issues.#horrible back issues.#lack of imagination#lack of motivation.#gets thirsty too easily.#not smart nor athletic.#and im not using any of these worda lightly.#especially the memory thing.#horrible observational skills.#horrible social skills.#not even funny.#not even good at video games.#not good at fucking anything.#and i don't even have a reason for why i ak the way i am.#fuck this shit.#too addicted to phone.#will never achieve anything in life
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Another headcanon for Cole (aka projecting my 4 month long lower back issues onto Cole. He will take all my pain.)
Cole suffers from horribly bad lower back pains because of how he carries heavy stuff. When he was younger he would pick up super heavy stuff with horrible posture. Later, in the land of lost things, with having so much to do just to survive, he went back to his old habit of having horrible posture. Also because he really wanted to impress Geo and the kids.
He’s reaping the consequences with bad lower back pains constantly. You can see him stumbling and walking around like an old man. Zane has gotten tired of it.
Zane picks Kai up and sets him onto Cole’s lower back to heat it up. Geo then does a quick five minute massage before Zane gives no mercy or sympathy to Cole.
He makes Cole stand up and makes him do the most painful and hard stretches when his body literally can’t move that way. ‘Zane zane stop zane my BACK-‘
#lego ninjago#ninjago cole#zane does it out of reluctant love#he’s like those asian mums who are cussing you out whilst they give the most horrible medicine ever#and the medicine works.#ninjago zane#cole ninjago#geo is watching in sympathy but he’s also intrigued.#kai is cackling at Cole’s misery#ninjago kai#geo ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#cole brookstone#kai smith#kai jiang#zane julien#geo#i love projecting my problems onto cole#he’s literally me wtf#back problems#back issues
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He has been here for a single panel and they're already being gay
#it's finally me and you and you and me just us#and your friend genvo#oh god now I have to remember if I decided to tag him as skyfire or jetfire back in the very first issue#OKAY I DID TAG HIM AS SKYFIRE AND I'M STICKING TO IT#transformers#transformers skybound#transformers 2023#transformers spoilers#starscream#skyfire#should I tag genvo too or is he going to horribly die in the next several pages. we'll see! I'll add him in if he's still around by the end#my post
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Sasha using the title "Lord" in RiAAU after taking over Toad Tower and presumably killing Grime and stealing Barrel's Warhammer from him, and other political and military leaders assuming she's a man because, well, Sasha is a gender neutral name, so they hear Lord Sasha and assume they're talking about an adult male toad warrior. The second most powerful person in the known world and only real threat to the Leviathan reign!
Cue princess Marcy fleeing Newtopia and her father seeking refuge with his worst enemy hoping to offer information and political levarage in exchange for protection, perhaps even offering herself in marriage to transfer eventual inheritances and whatnot, and she finds out that Lord Sasha is not, indeed, a dark and domineering toad warlord, but a beautiful, terrifying girl her age that looks like her and oh god her poor little lesbian heart can barely take it.
#amphibia#sasharcy#marcy wu#sasha waybright#my posts#raised in amphibia au#sasha and marcy are over here living in game of thrones while#anne is playing stardew valley with a mod that gives you ptds#Sasha being mistaken(? as a man being a common misunderstanding due to poor communication to the point potential allies don't believe her#unless she's carrying the hammer around herself#lord sasha with her two wives... nnhnhnn... one representing her alliance with the frogs of frog valley and possibly beyond depending on ho#she and her grandfather (current mayor of wartwood) play their cards#and the other in her sansa stark era (horrible violations of bodily autonomy involved) (not by sasha btw) trying to maintain alliances#with noble newt houses after betraying her father and eloping with the enemy#after learning The Truth^TM (which she's conveniently hiding from everyone else except maybe olivia and that's a big maybe)#cue some nice toad civil wars (the eastern and northern tower may support sasha but despite their less than friendly relationship#beatrix will NOT recognize this magical alien's victory over her dead brother. and my friend beatrix is not to be messed with)#anne having lots of self worth issues after her very morally questionable grandfather married her off to sasha for political reasons#marcy having. uh. green blood. and a weird metalic port in the back of her neck. her brain feels tingly when she touches it#and king andrias desperately fighting to crush this little frog valley rebellion and punish those to blame for the abduction of his daughte#edit: i meant ptsd. anne has ptsd from that time she may or may not have accidentally indirectly caused the death of sprig and polly's#parents at age 8 (they were her parents for 4 years. the only parents she remembers. she hasn't forgiven herself and deep down#neither has hop pop but we don't talk about it)
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I think Tina’s teeth are sharper than a normal humans, so when she kisses Bagi for the first time on the lips she cuts a little. She’s just so flustered and isn’t paying as much attention to anything other than omg my girlfriend not girlfriend is the prettiest girl in the world. When they break apart she watches a single drop of blood fall down Bagi’s chin. Tina slowly brings a hand up to her face touching the tip of her too sharp teeth, and all she can feel is shame.
#qsmp#Qsmp tina#qsmp bagi#bagina#<- looking back on this I was incredibly messed up for not just making it hot#and instead talking about Tina’s horrible self doubt issues
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clean 🦆🛀🫧
(part 2)
#digital art#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#original illustration#original art#sasha's art#i am very proud of this one#i have been having so many issues drawing since i moved#adjusting has been difficult and my self worth Plummeted horribly#so i have been having difficulties with staying creative and finding Value in my hobbies and such#so a while ago i decided to just go back to the basics and focus on highly technical drawings#that's how this one started too- it was a practice art based on a photo of our sink i took#and then i fell in love with it and worked on it until i perfected every aspect of it and i played around with colours until i achieved a-#-Mood i was finally satisfied with#sometimes being technical and going back to the basics can lead to something Bigger i guess!!#i love this series so much#i love falling in love with my art all over again#there is one (1) thing i have ever been good at and i am glad at least it shows
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Every time someone calls Amy a monster, I almost want to point out that Amy agrees with them, and that's kind of her whole problem?
#Amy Dallon#Amycourse#Her insistent belief that she *is* a monster held back by only the thinnest of threads#is her self-fulfilling prophecy#Like Amy does horrible monstrous things#but that's distinct from Amy being a 'horrible monster'#Once someone internalizes the idea they're a monster they don't try to improve which was a big part of Amy's many baggages and issues
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Hey, friends, just a quick note. I had to call 911 for my dad a few nights ago and he's been in the hospital ever since. He had a triple bypass many years ago but has done really well since then. However, he recently started having some issues with a racing, irregular heartbeat and his blood pressure shooting sky high and they've determined that he has atrial fibrillation aka afib. They're trying him on some new medications to hopefully be able to treat it that way.
It's worrisome because he has a list of medicine allergies about as long as my arm, most of them heart related. Also, they're upping the blood thinner he's on and, well, he's 80 years old and severe bleeding will now be even more of a risk. But since afib can cause a stroke, among other things, that's the best defense against it.
Anyway, prayers, good thoughts, well wishes etc. all very welcome now. I'm scared for him but I'm trying to be strong. Love you all, will check in again whenever I can.
#about me#prayers appreciated#good thoughts appreciated#well wishes appreciated#it doesn't help that the man half his age who shared his room#had similar issues and went down to have an angioplasty where they place a stent in your heart to open the blood flow#they took him out of the room this morning and a little later when i was going to the cafeteria#i heard them call code blue for the cath room#his roommate never came back he died#that was such a horrible shock#of course everybody is different#still it's a sobering thing to witness#ageless aislynn
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man its a shame postcrisis didn't commit to the world they were building up and implying in batman 408-410 because then we would have been running around with fun things like:
everyone in Gotham being convinced that Joker killed Robin 1, and being furious to the point they organize a committee to figure out how to call CPS on Batman (and, naturally, want Bruce Wayne to head it)
Dick not stopping being Robin because he went to college or because he had a fight with Bruce but a secret third thing: they had a pretty calm conversation and decided that "Robin" was too risky to continue going out as and would draw more fire if he came back from the dead, so time to start drafting up a new name and costume
Jason refusing to go with Batman anywhere, probably because of the whole "everyone in the city thinks batman got robin killed" thing, but being too smart to like, say that out loud (personally i think he should say it out loud. for the lolz and foreshadowing)
Dick presumably still recovering from the joker fight when Jason does come with Batman after ever other option just turned out to be crime, and hearing that 'the kid who stole b's tires the other day wants to join crime fighting'
What i can only assume is a fight not about Jason being taken in and trained, but because they should do it literally under any other name and costume- not because robin is, you know, incredibly precious to dick but because 'dude we just agreed it was safer to not be robin'
Batman convincing Gotham that this second sidekick isn't child endangerment because actually he only looks like a kid and is really older than Batman. yeah thats the lie they go with. it is, apparently, bought because no one brings up the committee to call cps on batman again.
#and since a lot of people just think tim is still jason later#i think this should imply a gotham that is POSITIVE the first robin was the one murdered by the joker#and the second robin/ redrobin is an immortal guy who just like ages really slowly#but yeah by issue 411 they really kinda drop it all#no ones worried about robin#bruce only vaugely alludes to horrible fights with dick#and jason starts his cycle of finding out about his birth parents behind bruce's back#funny how crisis can change so much of the status quo. and so little.
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how drip marketing's gonna look in 5.4
#genshin impact#natlan#tags are a leak-free zone#honestly natlan is far from the most advanced nation thats existed on teyvat#just look at sumeru and fontaine and whatever tf khaenriah and deshrets kingdom was up to back in the day#teyvat is capable of some incredible technological advancements#and i think people sorta forget how far technology could be by now had heavenly principles never intervened#its not that natlan is too advanced its that mavuika is oddly modern#you dont see girls flying giant guns everyday#but you probably see a few motorcycles#thats the odd dissonance with mavuika and other more modern details like tighnari's hoodie and ororon's denim jeans#imo most of this insane backlash to natlan's characters stems from the unrest about mhy's colorism/hesitance to portray cultures in full#and that unrest is sorta spilling over to other aspects that really dont deserve that same vitriol#yeah i personally find the rigging on chasca's face as horrible as her fit but to say her gameplay is bad is just. incorrect#to say any natlan character's gameplay is bad is just a false statement and nothing but unfocused anger and bitterness misdirected from the#actual issue#i dont think mavuika riding a motorcycle would be as controversial(?) if she had dark skin tbh#which she should#but thats irrelevant to my point#just that a work can be enjoyed and criticized without either points contradicting each other#and to lash out blindly to ANYTHING regardless if its related to the real issue is incredibly misguided#anyways columbina my wife where are youu
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#hey y'all mind if i [HORRIFIC GUTTERAL SNARLING NOISES] real quick about something utterly inconsequential#ok! so:#listen i know this is gonna be a VERY controversial opinion but. generally i think macOS is a good operating system#and that apple's proprietary software is high quality and intuitive to use. never had any issues with 99.9% of my experiences.#that being said#FUCK imovie. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK were they fucking thinking with imovie.#every time i open this application it makes me want to gouge my eyes out and scream and rip something in half like a whiny toddler.#there are so many extremely simple problems with ZERO FUCKING SOLUTION WHATSOEVER#it's straight up impossible to use. every tiny thing you want to do you have to search it up in their horribly organized guidebook#and then the guidebook is outdated and useless which means you have to google search whatever it is you're trying to do#and the results are full of people with the same fucking problem with NO answers.#i just spent the past hour trying to figure out how to add a single PLAIN TEXT BOX to a video. that's how unusably bad imovie is.#and then there's people in the forums who are like. 'why would you want to add text lol videos are for watching not for reading. idiot'#SUBTITLES MOTHERFUCKER?????????????????? EVER CONSIDERED THAT??? NO OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T. DIP SHITT#[FOAMING AT THE MOUTH WITH RAGE]#i've never had worse displeasure working with any other program in my entire life. godawful. why is it like this. FUCK#*DEEP BREATH*#ok i'm fine i just had to scream into the void for a moment lmao#you know how it is~👉👈🥺#back to your regularly scheduled blond man mockery
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plain and simple i am not going to be able to remain in this fandom long-term if i have to keep putting disclaimers on every single one of my posts that say i don't condone dennis' bad, bad actions and that i am in fact aware he's got a history of sexual assault and dubious/nonconsent. the entire gang has done heinous shit. why is dennis the only one who needs to be treated like this? if some rando wants to post about how dennis is pookie pie that doesn't automatically mean they're blind to his crimes. every single member of the gang is a piece of shit. that's kind of the point.
draw dennis with cat ears who give a shit
#ada speaks#i'm not vagueing this is a constant thing ive experienced#i still have angry anons sitting in my askbox mad that i didn't explicitly condemn him last time i got into this#i'm really not a fan of the tension in the fandom the last few days#and like. i know its a hot button issue rn. everyone's going back and forth abt mac and dennis' SA#but this fandom genuinely does have an issue SPECIFICALLY MENTIONING things mac does to dennis and uwu-ifying them#when they are explicitly classified as SA in canon (which is an actual present issue i think needs to be addressed)#rather than like. just the mere MENTION of dennis outside of his SA is somehow condoning his actions#im sorry but i really do not feel the need to constantly talk about him assaulting women#everyone knows. everyone sees it. just bc i am dissecting other parts of his character does not mean i forgot he's a horrible person#it just means im trying to understand where he's coming from (which obviously does not change the facts.)#viewing dennis as a person with unresolved trauma stemming from elsewhere doesn't negate the damage he is doing to other people#he's not a real person where humanizing him does tangible damage#so i am going to continue to look into shit. when i talk about the CSA he went through it's not a justification.#but it does explain his actions in a character motivation type way which is what i am interested in#seeing what makes him tick#i think most people who follow me understand this by now. but i also don't think shit we see him do constantly in canon needs bringing up.#it's the subtle stuff that ties everything together and i want to put it all together to solve a puzzle
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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I have awfully troubling patterns when it comes to my favourite fictional characters.
#dabi#obito#jason todd#all “died” young only to come back years later as villains#michael afton#dabi and michael afton both purple and commit arson#anakin#dabi obito and anakin all commited horrible crimes#dabi and michael afton have extreme daddy issues#There's also Satoru and Suguru#Suguru who also committed horrible crimes#and Satoru who is a white haired blue eyed man just like my og no.1#big fan of white haired characters#tho I was a red hair toya truther back in the day#I wasn't competely wrong tho#and I like the canon explination#older red haired toya feels weird now#this is a lot of tags#I should stop
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to be so honest im starting to think i really need to see a professional for my social anxiety
#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#it is so bad in ways i can’t even articulate but today i felt sick over having to send one text message and procrastinated the entire day#i’ve gotten so bad recently#and that’s not even a fraction of the texts i need to reply to.. i feel like im crumbling under the weight of how awkward i am#and i hate it because im sure everyone thinks i’m rude and i know it comes off as so weird when i reply to a text fucking SIX WEEKS late#but i genuinely feel so awful and guilty over it i just cannot make myself do it. i’m so scared ill say the wrong thing or fuck up#or i just forget because i have memory issues but it’s awful all the same and i feel so terrible#and i assume everyone hates me until i see them again because i never texted back and it makes me feel like an awful person#but i have good intentions and i really just want to give everyone the kindness they deserve but i get so scared to talk to ppl it’s crazy#it’s so awful. i really need it fixed it feels like it’s rotting my soul and ruining my relationships#people will be so nice to me and then i just don’t get back to them… it’s horribly horribly rude and i know it i just get terrified#or i forget most the time i really do just forget but it feels bad all the same#i think it stems from like.. i don’t want to say the wrong thing so i need to think hard about what to say but then i forget or get so ->#caught up in trying to say the perfect thing that i get overwhelmed and procrastinate then forget entirely#i’m an awful person i truly cannot stand myself#i guess the only way forward is to just be better in the future but fuck i feel so guilty
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Do you have any Zhongli/Zhongchi fic recs? I haven’t found any that are nearly as good as yours 😔😔
funnily enough someone already asked this, but it was quite a while ago and tumblr is a mess to search old shit thru so here, this is the post this was asked during the ao3 crisis of- .......last year? i can't remember. either way, the post starts w me saying i don't have all the names and links but dw, after ao3 came back up i edited the post so you should see all authors and links in the recs.
i have to admit that for reasons unrelated to the fandom i haven't been reading many zhongchi fics as of late? so like- bear in mind i don't have an updated mental picture of any of the recs after the post was made. so if one went off the rails or if one of the WIPs finished, i'm not aware;; i also mention in the post that i'd add more recs if i had access to ao3 (which i didn't at the time bc it was down), and while that is true, it's been so long since i read any of them that i wouldn't be able to confidently reccomend them outside of 'i somewhat remember the plot and i remember liking it'. also i don't remember half of their names. so uh- yeah that's the list i think
#also there are plenty of fics that i'd have loved to recomend but that ended up either going off the rails towards the end or that just-#left me disappointed#complete tanget but what is it with people making holy angst and then completely missing the point of said angst#as in#the resolution they give to the angst is sometimes more infuriating than anything#like by that point i'm rooting to have no resolution LMAO#which is why angst resolution is always like my n°1 concern in my fics#last thing i want is for the angst to be super good and then for the resolution to leave y'all like-#that's it?#not in the sense of payoff for the angst#but in the way the issues brought up by the angst get handled#i don't want to point fingers obviously i'm not that much of an asshole#but i vividly remember a fic that set up childe being bullied horribly by a bunch of adults for something that was outside of his control#and that he couldn't have possibly known#and so he just flees bc i mean poor guy i'd flee as well. plus they backed him into a corner with no other way out#like- think public proposal except childe didn't even know he was dating zhongli. and when he was confused about it#all the onlookers started berating him for being stupid#which like- it's one thing being dense. and it's another thing being unable to communicate w eachother (this was zl's fault)#anyway. so he flees. the resolution to the angst is him getting dragged (against his will) back to liyue and zhongli just saying#sorry i forgot to say i loved you please never leave idk what i'd do without you#and like off-camera he did almost kill the 'onlookers' that bullied childe#but like#that's it#there's no further apologies from everyone; childe retains no issues from a highly traumatic event (it was portrayed that way);#everything is solved by zl saying actually i love you if you leave i'm gonna be depressed forever#like????????????????????????#obviously i'm being very vague about it#that's not exactly how it goes in the fic#don't want to throw hate at it the rest of it was really good#it just left me with a growing dread of 'this isn't going to be handled well by the author isn't it' as it went on
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