#too doesnt look like a word anymore lmfao.

[cringelordofchaos]

i hate myself.

[fictionfixations]

Book 7 JP spoilers (recent-est i think)

(recently found out how to do keep reading bits.)

i. have been told what happened

you know this groovy with him crying

i know context now

and

oh my god

my. heart. ughUISHfdi rOOOOK.

(m gonna be honest rook was never my favorite and i honestly didnt know how to feel about him. [to be fair i hated sebek at one point but now im like a huge sebek fan so.] but i think when this gets onto EN and i play through it im just gonna be a huge rook fan man.)

like

okay

so i know what happens in the story

(also i love this so much this is now in my mind, rook's actual room pre-nrc [except vil's not in an RSA uniform LMFAO. actually if it was PRE-NRC i dont think either of them would have enrolled at a school yet, unless neige is older than vil, or unless RSA doesnt do the same enrollment ages or whatever like NRC)

ACTUALLY SCRATCH THAT NEIGE IS IN HIS 2ND YEAR???

??????? people notice so much oh my god..

wait....

actually do you think neige joined a school because he saw vil join one?? cause. i think he really idolizes vil. (actually kind of makes me think of cheka idolizing leona)

huh. random thought.

i mean i only know a summary of it (im fine with spoilers ngl and i dont care even if you shove like a fully translated post of the entire chapters and stuff.. i just like seeing story that i dont mind rereading)

but like man. its gonna break me when we're there for that moment. (in EN)

i

dont want to say anything in case there's an EN person here. and i mean if they're spoiling themselves all the more power to them but i also feel like its one of those things that are a LOT more impactful when you encounter it for the first time so im just. not gonna try to learn more about it and wait. (although its like. JP is in Part 8 i think, we're in Part 4??? that seems so far away sob. but also we gotta finish lilia's dream first so...)

im just. sadge. (also idk what vil's dream is but i think we end up seeing it. unless it was actually a render of him from rook's dream, which i wouldnt think is too far off. but also--)

THIS IS APPARENTLY CANON?

I SAW IT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT THEN I RAN INTO IT AGAIN??? and its like. LISTEN. he looks so goofy i cant... epel. i love you. but oh my god (i cant take you seriously im SORRY im DEAD)

also he's still in pomefiore which is cool (he accepted his cuteness! although i dont know how much of a weapon his cuteness would have now..?. you think he snaps out of it cause ppl might laugh at him [and then he beats them up] but he still gets irritated cause what the heck im not cute anymore--- [..wait. i was never cute. what am i on about.] ...i keep overusing the word cute and i know he wouldnt use it himself but i have a very small vocabulary.)

im just.

i dont know how to feel about this ??? (it feels more cursed than hatless rook. i can at least pretend he isnt hatless. but like. epel..)

also vil in rsa /neg /hj (the rsa uniform looks so bland and i like him in darker colors)

okay im gonna be honest i have a dislike against RSA. and thats honestly because im petty and hold grudges.

also i like my villain boys and i just want them to win (..yknow. i really dont think GloMas counts when the RSA boys were actually nice enough to like. ..take hits for them??? and then we were planning on leaving them like LMFAO 'not my problem')

so yeah.

actually wait if rooks dream takes place in VDC how the fuck

WHO IS NRC TRIBE????

CAUSE VIL'S IN RSA WITH NEIGE?? HELLO??? WHAT.

WE'RE NOT WINNING WHAT THE HELL

(unless our role in the dream is to drop a jawdropping performance [idfk do we have diasomnia boys minus lilia(? i honestly dont know how lilia's dream ends and if he joins us) and malleus???)

but listen. if vils the best. and neige is the best.

we're so. not winning..? (i was going to ask if it was gonna be like rook this time voting for NRC and thats how we win. but like. HELL no are we gonna have it be split 50/50 again like that)

anyway i am still very excited and so pumped and oh my god fhsuihe

i find it so funny that at the start of the post i was so crushed like 'oh my god...' cause angst and then here i am doing a complete 180

EDIT: hold on. i didnt think to think about it but now that we know what his room looks like

thats his bed. you can see the neige part. and that thing he's holding onto is like the movie poster (or i assume its a movie poster) with vil and neige

ngl i saw some people linking it up to like the hunter crying on snow white's dress

which. i never saw this movie so like (i dont even want to know what happened but also these movies are OLD. also in like sleeping beauty?? i saw the animated of once upon a dream or something like that and mans just comes up to her out of nowhere. no warning and holds her and sings and im just like brUH if you did that id fucking hit you like WHAT???)

also i just noticed his muscles goddamn.

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

[missmeinyourbones]

what icks do you think the aot boys are guilty of having lol

aot boys x icks! (part 2) (jjk version)

now THIS is content i can get behind

eren:

is the type of guy to think that just letting the water hit him in the shower is washing his body... like you're showering together and ur scrubbing ur legs w body wash or something and he's like wait... you wash your legs? like you don't just let the water and soap hit them? WHAT

tries to start a podcast and thinks hes making really profound points but its the most basic and bare minimum conclusions like "working out actually improves your mental health"

his hair gets greasy really easily but he doesnt like to wash it every day bc it dries it out. you recommend dry shampoo and he REFUSES because it “makes his hair look gray” and ur like no not if you apply it like this and rub it in!!!! he doesnt listen

accidentally airs ur dirty laundry and secrets to all of ur friends LMFAO he really doesnt mean to though but youll all be having dinner or something and someone will order a specific food and he’ll be like “wait baby isnt that the food that gives you really bad gas?” goodbye

the classic "THIS IS FOR YOU <3" and misses

armin:

uses the 🥺 emoji way too much for a grown ass man. like its cute sometimes but its definitely his most used emoji. also says "sowwy" when ur mad at him :/

loves when you scratch his back/head but only does urs for like 2 mins LMFAO. ur taking turns in bed and when its his turn to scratch he does it for like 30 seconds and then is like my turn :) or im tired goodnight :) also gets mad when you stop unexpectedly. gives you side eye

drools in his sleep LMFAO. sleeps with his mouth open and its not that big of a deal unless he’s sleeping on you and you wake up with a fucking wet patch on your chest as if a baby was just napping on you

prefers you without make up and doesnt really understand that you wear it for personal or creative reasons, like he automatically assumes its because you’re insecure or covering something up. like youre going out and having fun getting ready and looking pretty and hes like “why do you wear makeup when you are so beautiful naturally? :)” 

buys millennial merch like “dont talk to me before my coffee” or those signs that say “dogs welcome! people tolerated” also calls dogs “floofers” and “doggos”

jean:

genuinely says sheesh. like not as a joke. he'll be like sheesh baby you look so good today and you'll have to hide ur embarrassment lol

is the type to NEVER let you get away with stuttering or fumbling ur words. you know that tiktok thats like "you ever stutter so hard you just have to stfu" thats you around jean LMFAO. you mispronounce one word and hes never letting you forget it

NEVER FINISHES A WATER BOTTLE. he will leave half filled bottles all over the place and then have the audacity to open a new one and drink it in front of you???

sleeps like a LOG. will not move. when he snores and you try to kick him a little bit to be like hey turn over ur snoring, he is not waking up. he gets up the next morning whistling a little tune looking like he just had the best sleep of his life and you crawl out of bed like a gremlin who almost fell off the bed and listened to his snores for 10 hours

such a music snob. he will be like “baby i recently discovered this really good song you probably havent heard of it its super underground” and its tame impala LOL

connie:

hes a mouth breather. he also chews so fucking loud. you guys are sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast & minding ur own business, and he is going to TOWN on his food. close ur mouth. imbecile

kinda the same topic but definitely bites his ice cream / popsicles. you are starting to think he doesnt have feeling in his front teeth anymore. he crunches the fuck out of ice as a "snack"

laughs along with a joke that you know he doesnt understand PLEASE it could be an inside joke w you and your girlfriends and hes trying to butt into the conversation like "HAHAHA"

his phone is always greasy and has crumbs in the cracks of the case and shit. ur like oh babe can you take a pic of me real quick??? and its so blurry because of the shit on his lens

leaves the toilet seat up every. single. time. especially not fun when you pee in the middle of the night and fall in with sleepy tired eyes 

levi:

sleeps with socks on. LET UR DOGS BREATHE LEVI. he thinks sleeping barefoot is nasty so he puts on a new pair of socks every time he gets into bed

has to correct you, even on tiny minute details. youre telling a story and youre like "so we waited in line for like 30 minutes" and hes like "it was actually 45." or "we went out to eat last monday" "it was tuesday but ok" like ENOUGH. let me have something

worst. backseat. driver. ever. you could break a little too quickly ONE time and hes so dramatic about it. “that wasnt a complete stop” “you’re supposed to be in the next lane” “that car was in your blindspot and you didnt even look” 

answers the phone with “what” every single time. not a hello??? how are you??? how was your day??? it sounds like a chore but in reality he just doesnt like technology and thinks phone calls/texts should be as concise and quick as possible

has literally no decor in his house/apartment like it actually looks uninhabited. has like one couch and a bed. you offer to help him pick some things out and hes like “im always at work anyways why would i need a table”

reiner:

likes drake LMFAO not even old drake (when he was good) but like new "say that you a lesbian girl me too" drake

repeats a joke that didn't land because he thinks you didn't hear it. but you did. it just wasn't funny

when you guys first started talking he was definitely the guy to be like "ur so beautiful, whats a girl like you doing with a little ugly boy like me???" when you guys are in a relationship youre able to see that its just his insecurities manifesting but. it was cringey at first

i just know this man has dirty fingernails. like they are short and well kept but there is always DIRT AND GRIME under them. you make him wash his hands before he touches you

cant be quiet for the life of him. he has loud ass footsteps. like ur sleeping and granted he is trying so hard to be quiet but he literally cannot. slams his drawers, shuts the door so loud, will play a video on his phone full blast. and then when you stir from your sleep and glare at him hes like “good morning :D”

porco:

genuinely says "without me? :(" when you say you are about to shower LMFAOOOO its kinda funny when you guys are in an established relationship bc u can just smack him but he is definitely guilty of saying it seriously when you two were in the talking stage

accidentally mansplains things to you. not in a demeaning or belittling way but like youll make a joke about "why cant we just print more money" and this business major bitch is like "baby...are you serious...because inflation will-" like OKAYYYY it was a joke

his hair is so crunchy from all of the hair product/gel he uses on it. sometimes when hes fresh out of the shower youll compliment his natural hair as an attempt to get him to lay off the gel. his hair is so hard you could drop a brick on his head and it would deflect 

backwashes in all of your shared drinks

manspreads, especially in public. youll be sitting in a crowded place and he is openly sprawled out extremely comfortable while a woman with a baby is giving him a dirty look

i had a lot of fun coming up with these! i hope this was what you were asking for :3 thanks for requesting!

[joheunsaram]

glitter and disquiet (jjk) - 1

Part of the Sons of Midas Collab

Part 1 | Part 2 | Drabble

Summary- Poised to inherit Korea’s largest gaming company in a few months, the world looks at Jeon Jungkook as a symbol of envy. Why wouldn’t they? He has everything, riches, power, and according to the rumour mill, endless women. Little do they know that his father’s company is on the verge of downfall, he barely has respect of his employees, and regardless of the rumours, he’s just a virgin saving himself for true love.

word count -  18.5k (buckle up buckaroooos!)

pairing- ceo!Jungkook x youtuber!Reader

rating- R

genre- angst, smut, fluff, chaebol!au

warnings- virgin!Jungkook, mentions of cheating, divorce, open relationships, descriptions of anxiety and stress, car accident, hospitals, smut in the form of oral sex (m and f receiving), Jungkook is a hopeless romantic but wbk

a.n- Well here it is martians (did i make my own fandom name for a fandom that doesnt exist? yes, sir. ty marketing 101 in uni lmfao)! The collab that I forced all friends to do with me. Thank you @hobiandsprite, @taegularities, @oftenderweapons​, @biaswreckme​, @honeyj00ns​ for enabling my 3am thoughts. I truly love and appreciate you all! 

This is an angsty piece that I challenged myself with because I wanted to create holistic characters rather than just focusing on romance (dw theres lots of that there too!). 

I hope you enjoy this! See you next month for the second part hehe!

A big warm thank you to @oftenderweapons @hobiandsprite and @taegularities for beta reading this monster even though i didn’t finish it till a few hours ago! ily guys you keep me sane and happy 💕

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

-

Sometimes, when he was all alone, or when he was working hard, Jungkook felt it. A little tug on his little finger. It didn’t hurt nor burn, but left behind tingles. A little spark that lifted his finger into the air involuntarily. It was pretty prominent when he was younger but not much anymore. Now, much to his disappointment, it came rarely.

His doctor said it was most likely muscle fatigue, but Jungkook liked to believe in old myths instead. He wasn’t superstitious, but he liked the idea that somewhere, there was another person whose pinky twitched the same time as his - that some ancient omnipotent god had tied the two of them up with an invisible thread. A thread that may tangle, or expand, or shorten, but would always lead him to the one he was meant to be with. 

Perhaps this belief was silly, a dreamer’s hyperbole, but Jungkook really really wanted it to be true. He couldn’t understand the point of life otherwise. Would god really be cruel enough to create the crushing monotony of existence without creating the reprieve of a partner to bear it with?

His pinky twitched as it rested against the gold plated rim of the dainty white porcelain coffee cup his mother insisted on using. He would have to refill it at least three times to fill his daily morning dose of caffeine but he would never take away the little joy his mother got from having the family eat brunch on the vintage china she bought at an auction last month. 

“Son, are you listening to me?” his father asked in a huff, breaking him out of his thoughts. He wasn’t thinking about much in particular, his eyes following the sunlight that filtered through the overhead umbrella that shaded the small family of three. It reflected off the little coffee pot in the centre of the round grand crystal table, creating little fragments of colourful beams that danced on the surface. 

“Sorry dad,” he apologized with a little smile, his nose scrunching in a way he knew would endear his father. His mother laughed at his attempt at buttering up his father, who as if on cue rolled his eyes with a similar smile of his own.

“As I was saying before you ignored me, I think we should announce you taking over the company at your birthday party in a few months,” his father continued proudly, waving the butter knife he was using around with flair while his scone remained forgotten on the flowered side plate. Jungkook was used to his father’s certain excitement when it came to the family business. 

“Do you think that’s wise? He’s barely done school!” his mother spoke, exasperated. Jungkook could see the lines on her face as she scowled at her husband. He frowned, only just realizing how old his parents looked, wrinkles much more prominent and frames slightly thinner than he remembered. The last time he had seen them hadn’t been that long ago, barely a few months, but he was always jarred by how different they looked from his recollections. His memories still held the images of them from when he was a teenager still living in the immaculately modern mansion he called home.

“Yes. There’s a reason I didn’t ask you, Kyungsoo,” he sneered at his wife, the previous softness in his features turning to stone. “This is my son and my company. He’s ready, aren’t you, Jungkook?”

Along with their frailty, their dislike of each other was also something that Jungkook seemed to always forget about. He knew his parents weren’t happy with each other — he had learnt that a long time ago. As a child, he used to hear them arguing, passive aggressively trying to cut each other’s self esteem with snide remarks, but in the rose colored crevices of his mind, he only remembered how his father had surprised his mother with a hundred roses in the living room when he was ten, or the way he’d once caught them dancing in silence in the living room when he was in highschool. Jungkook had no doubt in his mind that they loved each other, but he’d be amiss if he tried to convince himself that they liked each other.

He couldn’t help wishing that they found love again. It was a kid’s wish, he knew that, but he just wanted his parents to see the best in each other like they used to.

“Dad -”

“He’s our son, Jaehwa, let him enjoy his twenties. He doesn’t need to get right into work after graduating,” she scoffed, plucking the cloth napkin off her lap and tossing it beside her as she glared at her husband.

“Well, mom—”

“He’s smart and resourceful, he’s going to take over. The sooner the better and frankly I don’t understand why you have to—”

“Mom, dad. Please,” Jungkook interrupted the argument, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips. “Please don’t argue. Dad, yes I’d love to start whenever you want me to,” he said looking at his father who beamed smugly at his wife in response. “And mom, don’t worry. I am enjoying my twenties.” He patted his mother’s hand as she shook her head in defeat before heaving a sigh.

“Just so you know, it is your decision when to take over the company. You can take your time if you want,” Kyungsoo emphasized, a hand on his, her expression serious despite the way his father snorted.

“I know, mom. I want to,” he said with a smile, his hand holding on to hers.

“Well now that that’s settled, Jungkook, we have to discuss something very important.” His father seemed almost nonchalant, expertly ignoring the icy argument that had just occurred at the breakfast table, his tone once again light and airy.

“Jaehwa, let’s not discuss business at the table. We’ve barely seen Jungkook since he started school…”

“It’s okay mom,” Jungkook said before cutting into his poached eggs, taking a large bite, much to his mother’s disappointment. Jaehwa was not one to let go of a topic easily, and although Jungkook felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach at continuing to placate his father, he knew it was the easier thing to do. “Go ahead, dad.”

“That’s my son!” Jaehwa beamed, mirroring his son’s action and digging into his breakfast. “So as you know the ChampCon is not doing well. I think the first thing you can do to really get the board on your side is provide an alternate revenue generator.”

Jungkook categorically did not know that Champions Confederation, shortened by fans as ChampCon, was not doing well. ChampCon was the product of his father’s blood and tears and the golden product of Jaunty Games that launched more than two decades ago, and was the sole reason his family could afford their opulent lifestyle, raking in millions of dollars a year. The massive multiplayer online game had not only built their family’s empire, but had changed the way online games were perceived, garnering a cult following that soon became mainstream, with e-sport teams and cosplay events. Every new feature launched had millions of people reviewing it, making ChampCon trend worldwide almost weekly. 

To hear that Jaunty’s darling was failing made Jungkook’s skin erupt in goosebumps, his stomach turning — a feeling he hadn’t experienced since his father sat him down the day before he started his MBA and explained in excruciating detail the duties of running such a massive business. He could feel his breaths getting shallower as his father explained how competitors were basically stealing the mechanics of the game and rebranding it as their own, how game mechanics couldn’t be copyrighted, so it was Jungkook’s responsibility to create an alternative that would not only help balance out the revenue lost, but maybe even turn out to be bigger than ChampCon itself.

As his father’s eyes glittered with pride, Jungkook felt his earlier confidence dwindling. He had so adamantly told his mother that he was ready to take over, but it took less than a few minutes for reality to come knocking at his door. Jungkook was not a game designer. Sure, he had great grades, his graduate degree wrapping up soon with almost a perfect GPA, but he hadn’t even touched a game in years. How was he supposed to apparently save his father’s legacy from biting the dust?

“So, any ideas yet?” his father prodded, finishing his monologue as he finished the last of his eggs. 

“Dad… you literally just told me this. Give me time, please,” Jungkook joked, trying desperately to hide his panic behind an airy tone. He hadn’t noticed his mother had left the table, and with no appetite left, he thought the timing was perfect to escape. Pushing his plate away, he sipped the last of his orange juice, and with an excuse about an upcoming presentation, he headed to exit the terrace, hoping the way his legs were shaking was not too obvious. But, of course, his father wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t make a parting remark.

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something great!” his father cheered, wiping his mouth on a napkin, and keeping pace with Jungkook as he walked him to the front door. “And remember, we don’t do this for the money,” he began, only to be cut off by his son’s sigh.

“We do it for the Lees in accounting who have six kids to feed,” Jungkook finished his father’s catchphrase, feeling the pressure on his chest and the pulse of his veins increase as he hugged his father farewell, opting to text his mother instead of showing either of his parents what truly laid beneath the facade of their perfectly calm and responsible son.

----------

The din of the bar was a familiar reprieve from daily life, the little clinks of beer glasses as various men in suits celebrated after a hard day exchanging stocks or manipulating facts in courts. The mahogany of the room reflected the hazy lights from the various dimmed chandeliers that lined the ceilings, the air scented with alcohol and sandalwood. The bar catered to a much older crowd, men escaping from their wives, women looking to lure said men for their fortunes. 

It wasn’t a place for the heirs of Korea’s largest companies to gather, yet there in the corner table, hidden from the cacophony of singles mingling near the bar, sat three. Their combined impact on Korea’s GDP could astound even the stoic of people, yet the air around them was relaxed, filled with laughter and banter.

“Hyung, I’m serious!” Jungkook whined, downing his fifth tumbler of whiskey in two hours. “I don’t think I can do it. I’m not… what’s the word?”

“An asshole?” Taehyung suggested, a wide smile on his face as he watched his friend struggle with his words.

“A misogynistic old man?” Candy chimed in, taking a sip of her scotch, as she grooved to the canned jazz that played through the speakers.

“Noona! Are you implying my dad’s a misogynist?” Jungkook questioned, mouth agape as he forgot his earlier worries in defense of his father.

“He did try to say that me learning Taekwondo was not becoming of a woman,” she replied, a fake sugary smile adorning her features as she antagonized her best friend.

“That was when you beat me up!” Jungkook protested, neglecting his drink to wave his hands in her direction as he always did when he got riled up, and oh did Candy love it.

“As I recall, you deserved it,” she sneered.

He did deserve it. Very much so. 

Jungkook had just started highschool. A timid, scrawny version of the man that sat in the bar, and Candy had somehow taken pity on him and taken him under her wing. Jungkook would forever be grateful for her, for he owed her the friend group he called family now. However, their friendship didn’t truly take off until the day Candy showed up to school in a bastardized version of her uniform, one that not only led to her colourful nickname, but for Jungkook’s eyes to be glued to her chest, his palms sweating and heartbeat accelerating. He couldn’t help it. He was fourteen and his hormones were too novel to control yet. He could never have predicted that he would zone out of the conversation in favour of staring at her cleavage, his mouth suddenly much too dry.

What was not unpredictable was the way Candy swiftly, and with much too much force, slapped him across the face, rattling his brain and his heart all in one. Jungkook would never admit it out loud, but he thought that was the moment he found his first love, beaten into him; transferred from the heat of her palm to his soul. 

It was a schoolyard crush, he supposed, but even now in the dim lights of the bar, he truly thought Candy was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met, not only in looks but also in the ways she challenged him, which made him feel anew. Now his feelings were more like those of a far away admirer now, a confidant, a friend. He knew far too much about her love for Hoseok to ever have the hope that used to blossom in his chest in his teen years. That hope had slowly extinguished each time Hoseok broke her heart and she mended it, only to hand it back to the same man. 

Now it simmered below his consciousness, a lingering emotion held together by the belief that if he was truly meant to be hers, she would find a way to him through the chaos of her life and the quiet of his. 

“Can you stop bullying him?” Taehyung interjected, shaking his head but with a face full of mirth as he started to console his drunk friend. Candy merely stuck her tongue out in response, settling back into the leather booth as she signalled for the waitress to bring another bottle for the table.

“Jungkook, there’s nothing wrong with being worried about taking over, trust me,” Taehyung continued, placing a hand on Jungkook’s thigh. Jungkook merely stared at his lap, the energy sapping from his body as the topic returned to his imminent CEO position. It is not that Jungkook didn’t think he was capable. He was objectively the most qualified person for the job, having trained for the role since birth. Not only did he have a perfect GPA from highschool upto grad school now, he had also been working at the company every Tuesday and Thursday since he completed his bachelors. 

Jungkook had no doubt in his skill, but every time he thought about the looming position, he felt his chest cave in from the pressure — odd, unfounded insecurities taking seed in his mind, regardless of his friends’ efforts. He was lucky enough to be friends with people who shared the same fate, thrusted into greatness inherited, but he couldn’t help feeling unprepared by comparison. Almost all of his friends had inherited their companies by now, and not one of them seemed to bat an eyelash at the monumental responsibility. It made him feel more anxious; perhaps he was broken, maybe that’s why he seemed to be sprinting towards milestones that never arrived while his friends eased into them at a mere stroll.

“You’ll do great, Bunny. You’re perfect for the job,” Candy said gently, patting his shoulder, knowing full well the secrets of Jungkook’s lack of confidence. Though he appeared as a mysterious, stoic bachelor to the public, he was an open book to his close friends.

“I know. I know! It’s just… what if I’m the reason that we go under and people lose jobs, and I don’t know…” Jungkook trailed off, a tattooed hand running through his hair as he poured yet another finger of whiskey into his glass. He sighed as the liquid burned his throat, colouring his taste buds in a soothing bitter warmth.

“Oh god! Please tell me, Uncle Jeon isn't still giving you that speech?” Candy scrunched her nose, shaking her head.

“Ah! ‘We don’t do this for the money son’,” Taehyung chimed in, his voice much lower than his usual baritone in an attempt to mimic Jungkook’s father and chest puffed out in a fashion that could only be described as ‘uppity’.

“‘We do it for the Lees in accounting who have six kids to feed’” Candy completed the phrase, her mocking mannerisms matching those displayed by Taehyung, and in his inebriated mind, the only thing he could think of was to laugh — their impressions were pretty spot on. Mouth wide open in glee, Jungkook cackled, turning heads, as he attempted to catch his breath. He knew it was a good idea to go out tonight.

“I love you guys,” Jungkook said, smiling widely in a way that scrunched his nose and melted his friends’ hearts. 

“We love you too, Jungkookie,” the two sang as they hugged him from both sides, squishing his broad frame till he felt small and coddled, love radiating through him. It reminded him of high school when Jungkook spent hours in his classes waiting for lunch or school to end so he could be reunited with his friends, who all somehow seemed to be much older than him. They always hugged him when he caught up to them, and although they were all grown adults and cheesy hugs were a thing of the past, it still filled him with the same sense of belonging. Like he could make any mistake and they would forgive him.

Jungkook felt lighter by the end of the night, not only because the alcohol running through his veins made him feel invincible, but because amidst the reminiscing and quips, the duo had built a strategy for him to start research into a new game. When Taehyung tucked him into his bed that night, Jungkook felt ready, the upcoming responsibility morphing from an insurmountable burden into an exciting challenge. And if there was one thing that Jungkook enjoyed, it was a challenge.

-----------

“Good morning, Mr Jeon!”

“Would you like a coffee?”

“No appointments for you today.”

“The numbers for this quarter are on your table.”

Jungkook smiled at his staff, still wondering why in the world his father needed a fleet of assistants, including a Chief of Staff for some reason. It seemed extremely frivolous, but he supposed it helped lessen his workload.

Settling into his chair, he turned on his computer. Last night’s drinks took their revenge as he massaged his temples, willing the pain to subside. For a fleeting moment he wondered how much of a fool he’d acted like in front of Candy. He had no reason to be haunted by his actions, he remembered the night perfectly, but he still felt an ache in his heart. He sighed at the knock at his door, curtly granting permission to the visitor to enter.

“Hey Jungkook, how are you today?” His father’s, well soon, his Chief of Staff, Seungwon, walked in with a pile of documents, placing them on the desk in front of him.

“I’m good, uncle Seungwon. Just trying to brainstorm for the new game, you know how it is,” Jungkook replied with a small smile. 

“Ah I told you! Call me Seungwon at work! You don’t want to lose your authority now do you?” Seungwon joked, watching the endearing way the young man in front of him got slightly flustered at the request. He had known Jungkook since he was practically a toddler, waddling around in his father’s office, pretending to read documents and attend phone calls. For the most part, Jungkook considered him a second father. Seungwon was the first employee his father had hired after the initial founding team, and in a sense he had always been around, first as the general admin officer for the company, and then as his executive assistant after the company grew. 

“Okay, Mr Cha,” Jungkook shook his head with a smile. “What do you have for me today?”

“These are the numbers for ChampCon for the past ten years, including every new feature introduced and the analysis of how well it did or did not do. Jaehwa asked me to make sure you have them, so you can brainstorm better.”

“Yay! I’m so excited,” Jungkook rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his tone as he looked at the giant pile in front of him dejectedly. This was definitely worse than all the readings he had to do this semester. He kind of wished he could show this to those Instagram entrepreneur influencers that talk about the glamour of being a CEO.

“I suggest you get yourself a coffee to start — and stop thinking about girls,” Seungwon winked at him as Jungkook blinked in response. How did he know? As if reading his thoughts, Seungwon gestured to the notebook under Jungkook’s arm and he groaned, looking at the multiple doodles of little toffees he had subconsciously made. Deciding to take his advice, he followed him out of the office in search of coffee, needing a short break to reset his brain.

He headed to the cafeteria the floor below, taking the stairs to get his blood pumping a little. He felt like there was sludge in his veins from last night. However, he had barely opened the thick metal door to the staircase when echoing voices met his ears. He didn’t stay for long after, but the words they said were embedded into his consciousness.

“Fucking chaebols. Does Jeon really think that useless son of his will be able to handle the company?”

“I swear he’s gonna ruin it before he hits puberty.”

“Rich people are so fucking ignorant.”

“I bet he can’t even name one feature we’ve released.”

“I’m seriously thinking of quitting once he takes over. Better quit than lose my job when he makes Jaunty bankrupt, right?”

Jungkook clenched his jaw, his tongue poking into his cheek, as he briskly walked towards his office. Do it for the Lees in accounting? They could just go fuck themselves. He could feel the venom burn his chest as he sat in his chair, refusing their words to bore into his self esteem. He knew he was the best for the job, he knew he could do it. He would prove them wrong. Just imagining the look on their faces when he revealed a new game that would leave ChampCon in the dust had his skin on fire, sending his previous motivation into overdrive.

He didn’t know how long he sat in his chair, dissecting the numbers for his company from the past ten years, but by the time he had compared all the analytics between competitors in the market, the sun was already an afterthought in the starry sky and his notebook was overfilled with potential strategies. This was what Jungkook excelled at, figuring out how to gain market shares and cut the competition. And at the moment, his greatest competition was Saga Games, an indie company that only had one game, which was a blatant copy of ChampCon, only with quirkier, more artsy characters instead of his plain champions. The game, Reverie, had gone viral on social media, targeting a niche market of mostly female gamers sorely underrepresented in his own games.

Before he knew it, he was sending away his staff for the day, deciding to hole up in his office to watch videos of the gameplay, noting the differences between his game and theirs. It was odd how wholesome the community seemed to be, barely any swearing or spats even in the unmoderated chats. He hadn’t touched a video game in years, but for this he would consider going back. 

Scrolling through hundreds of videos he only found half-assed play throughs, which was good to note the actual features of the game, but not for what he needed —  a qualitative look at how people were feeling about Reverie. Glancing at the clock in the corner of his desk, he realized it was almost 11, but just as he was about to give up for the night, his eye caught a familiar face.

It was you. Dressed in a baggie black Supreme hoodie and flannel pajamas, you were sat on a sickeningly pink chair, embellished with faux fur, as you played the game, a set of deep red headphones over your ears. He blinked at the screen in disbelief. There was no way you were a streamer. 

Jungkook had known you for over two years. You were in every single one of his classes, doing the same concentration of management strategy with your MBA as him, and you made it a point to rile him up in every single class. Be it using Jaunty Games as a case study for your presentations and looking at him every time you pointed out a flaw in the company, or gloating to him about your better grades. You were so childish that Jungkook couldn’t stand to be in the same room as you. You brought out his stupid, childish side too. His need to prove you wrong and to beat you often led to him arguing with you despite the way your classmates groaned and rolled their eyes.

He remembered when he first met you the summer before he started his degree. It was a balmy, sunny day — the kind that feels like humidity is hanging in the air making it thick and sticky. Although he hated the heat, some idiotic part of his brain thought that running in the humid air would probably add more resistance to his runs. It did not. As he was finishing his final lap around the university, sweating buckets, his t-shirt stuck to his back, he heard a loud bicycle bell, the shrill breaking through the pop music blasting through his earphones. However, the warning bell was for naught, because before he even looked up, he was barrelled over by you.

Luckily you had swerved your bicycle so it did not hit him, but in doing so you had somehow launched yourself on to him. He groaned as his butt met the sidewalk, arms automatically going around you to ensure you didn’t hurt yourself. Momentarily flustered by how attractive he found you, Jungkook was quick to recover, clearing his throat to ask you if you were okay. 

You simply brushed off the dirt, and stood up with a grin. He blinked up at you, dazed by the sun shining behind you making you look almost ethereal. He grabbed your hand when you offered it, ready to waive your apologies away. For the first time in his life, Jungkook felt the need to make the first move - make any move really. He was ready to throw a cheesy line your way, ask you to treat him to a coffee to make up for your blunder.

However, much to his utter disappointment, you never apologized. In fact, you scolded him to watch where he was going, your bright smile never disappearing as you gave him a couple of finger guns before getting back on your bicycle and riding away. Jungkook just stood there, staring after you with a bruised shin and a bruised ego to match. 

Perhaps that’s why Jungkook suddenly stopped scrolling when he saw you in the thumbnail, the same wide smile making his heart race for reasons unknown. He didn’t believe in lust, that was for the weak. He had learnt his lesson when Candy beat him up, but he couldn’t help clicking on the video, curious as to why the loud, argumentative woman in his lectures would be making videos playing games.

“And although the aesthetics do make this game very visually appealing, I think the gameplay is more advanced than others in the market. You see how there’s a lack of glitches even though there are a hundred thousand people online? That’s wild!” Your voice echoed through his empty office, as you continued to break down how the game was built and why it was garnering such a large audience, and Jungkook was hooked. He had never paid attention to what you said, usually waiting for you to make a point he could contest, never absorbing the actual content of your usual arguments together. Now that he was paying attention, he understood why you were competing for valedictorian with him. You were eloquent, knowledgeable, but unlike Jungkook, the way you spoke was almost charismatic, and before he knew it he had watched the entire forty minute video.

Your subscriber count was also no joke. If anything, you were a celebrity with over 30 million subscribers on Youtube, and many more on Instagram. He smiled at your username, callmetiger95, it seemed fitting for the fiery woman in his lectures, even though your online persona was more meek and sweet. He spent the night watching your videos, when an idea popped into his head.

He was going to partner with you to create a new game. 

----------

You frowned as you looked at your laptop at the end of the lecture, your Youtube Partner page pulled up. Your last video seemed to have been doing worse than the one before, in fact it did it even worse than the one posted around the same time last year, even though you had double the subscribers now. The stats weren’t terrible, especially given the ad revenue from the video was enough to cover rent for the month, but you were irked. It was the first video you had made to branch out your brand, choosing to talk about your life and grad school, rather than playing the latest trending video game. Although you knew that most of your subscribers only wanted to see you play, disappointment still gnawed at your gut.

“Hey, Tiger,” a familiar voice called from behind you, causing your frown to deepen. Of course it was the school playboy, Jeon Jungkook. You rolled your eyes as you closed your laptop, before packing it away in your backpack.

“What do you want, Jeon?” you asked, turning around, watching him leaning against the chair next to you, dressed in a suit like the rest of the class, but looking far better than the rest of the guys. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he was a model.

“So how come you never told me you were this big shot gamer?” he asked with a smile, his hair falling into his eyes. You hadn’t seen him smile this genuinely at you before, and your eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“Because I don’t like you,” you replied plainly, shrugging, and only slightly regretting the way his smile fell from his face.

“Oh… okay,” Jungkook said, a hand reaching to touch his ear that seemed to be a vivid shade of red. Jungkook didn’t know why he thought he could just pretend the two of you were more than classroom rivals and get away with it. He moved away a little to let you pass, gathering his nerves, before he spoke again. “I want to hire you.”

You blinked at him, frozen on the spot by the casual job offer. You had enough sense to notice how nervous Jungkook looked all of a sudden, visible beads of sweat forming on his hairline despite the air conditioning in the room being too high.

“Just because you found out I’m popular on Youtube, you want to hire me?” you asked incredulously.

“No,” Jungkook was quick to disagree, waving his hands in front of you, before deflating. “Yes… It’s just, I need your help,” he said, a lip between his teeth as he averted your gaze. Jungkook had no idea why his heart was beating so fast, but then again he had never been one to ask for help, especially from his widely attractive antagonizers.

“Is this some fuckboy move of yours? Offer me a job to get into my pants?” You raised an eyebrow and Jungkook couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped his lips at the absurdity of your words. Him? A fuckboy?

“I’m not a fuckboy, Y/N,” he said, nose upturned at the unfair label. He knew that everybody thought him as some player, but the truth was that it was just a widely inaccurate rumour his childhood friend Jimin had started during undergrad that seemed to have snowballed into his reputation. Nothing could be further from the truth.

“Whatever, Jeon. Answer’s still the same. I don’t need a job,” you replied coolly, turning and walking towards the door. 

“Come on, please. I’ll do anything. I’ll give you however much you want!” Jungkook walked briskly to catch up easily to you. He didn’t know why he was being so insistent, especially since he was supposed to hate you after he had overheard you make some pretty terrible comments about him at a party once. All he knew was that you seemed to have insights that no one else had and he needed to learn them. 

“Typical. Not everything can be bought, especially not me.” You rolled your eyes at him, opening the doors to the lecture theatre, but only wide enough for yourself, taking in a little too much joy in the way he struggled to get his stupidly broad frame through the small gap.

“That’s not what I meant. Come on, Y/N. At least hear me out,” he almost begged. It was widely out of character from the Jungkook you knew. Usually, he was all cold stares and dry remarks. The only time you had seen his expression change from serious or zoned out was when you ran into him at a trashy frat party, but you don’t like to think about that night.

“Nope,” you repeated, getting a little annoyed by his constant attempts.

“I’ll convince you,” he said as he finally stopped following you, jaw clenched in determination that only made you roll your eyes.

“Try your best, Jeon.” You waved at him with a laugh as you made your way to the library to work on your upcoming presentation.

And so he did. 

Over the next two week, he tried everything in his power to convince you. At first, it was small. He would bring you a coffee to your lectures, black with one sugar, just the way you liked it and you were afraid to ask him how exactly he knew your order. Much to Jungkook’s chagrin, his daily coffees were rewarded with another rejection.

He decided to up his game. Knowing that your next project for Business Ethics required partners, he walked into your Assistant Professor’s office with five hundred thousand won in cash in an attempt to convince her to pair the two of you up. He did everything the movies showed him, placing the not very subtle wad of cash in his palm as he shook her hand while iterating how much he would appreciate it if he was partnered with you. He almost got suspended on the spot. Good thing he was top of his class in negotiations, otherwise the tabloids would have had a field day.

He sat next to you at every lecture, much to your annoyance. He bought you lunch everyday, ranging from pizza to sushi to even some homemade ramen that you were sure one of his home chefs had prepared. Much to your obstinate resolve, he was wearing you down. Day after day, you were growing increasingly endeared by how he would try to find a new way to convince you. Once he explained what he needed your help with, you were curious, not above admitting that brainstorming a new game with the future CEO of the world’s biggest gaming company sounded extremely fun.

Your resolve was finally broken when he took to social media, leaving comment after comment on your videos and photos. Usually you would never notice something like that, bombarded with thousands on the daily, but the man had the audacity to use his company account. Of course you would notice if Jaunty Games was suddenly commenting “Come on Tiger! Say yes!” on every video you had ever uploaded.

“Okay fine! I’ll do it, you absolute insane person!” you exclaimed when he once again started listing his pro-cons list before class. 

“You will?” he asked, beaming widely, his nose scrunched, and you had to resist the urge to put on your sunglasses with how bright his smile was.

“On one condition,” you replied, just as the professor walked in and unceremoniously started the lecture, ignoring the way Jungkook silently clapped in glee. “You have to beat me in ChampCon.”

Jungkook’s face fell just in time for the smug smile to appear on yours.

----------

Walking into Jungkook’s apartment, you were taken aback by the almost humble abode. Of course, located in Hannam the Hill, you had expected it to be lavish, but other than the large size, the apartment was simple. Late afternoon light streamed in through the floor to ceiling windows that lined the west end of the apartment, bathing the living room in a glow that seemed to be absorbed by the all black furnishings.

It was an open concept, the narrow hallway from the front door leading into the living room that was flanked on one side by windows and the other by a kitchen island, and another hallway that you assumed led to the bedrooms. The walls were adorned by various grayscale photographs that you assumed were taken by some of the best in the world.

“So welcome,” he said enthusiastically, leading you to the plush leather couch in the centre of the room, his laptop already displaying the game, before heading to the kitchen and returning with a tray piled high with cookies and popcorn. “Are you ready for me to win?” he asked with a cocky smirk, even though he knew he stood absolutely no chance of winning.

“Why? Did you boot up some secret cheat codes?” you asked, taking your laptop out of your bag and setting it up on the mahogany coffee table, smirking at the way he scowled in response. It was almost adorable.

“I don’t need cheat codes to beat you.” He most definitely did, but Jungkook would never resort to cheap tricks to win. His pride would never let him.

“Sure, we’ll see about that,” you smirked, cracking your neck before starting a classic game, hiding the fact that you were already at the Master ranking.

Despite your earlier teasing, you found it surprising that Jungkook was actually terrible at ChampCon, often accidentally hitting his own team members and missing marks, in spite of having multiple expensive add-ons. How could someone whose father created the game be so utterly bad? It took barely fifteen minutes for the game to end, with Jungkook’s teammates spamming the chat with insults and him falling into the couch in defeat.

“Oh my god! How are you this bad?!” You laughed. You almost wished he had used some cheat code. It felt as if you were taking advantage of him.

“I don’t play, okay?” he huffed, looking away, and you had an urge to wrap him in your arms. That was new. Usually you just wanted to bully him more.

“Fine. I’ll help you with your project,” you said, not wanting to see him look so dejected any more. Your words worked wonders, though, because as soon as they left your mouth, Jungkook sat up in shock, doe-like eyes wide in surprise.

“You will?”

“Honestly, you’re so bad at this game, you need all the help you can get,” you joked, expecting him to throw an insult back at you, but all he did was smile softly, a little ‘thank you’ leaving his lips and making your heart oddly skip a beat.

Time passed by quickly after, the two of you spending a few hours talking about what he thought was wrong with his games and figuring out what the competition was doing better. Jungkook had already done a little too much research on the topic over the weeks he’d spent trying to convince you, but he pretended not to know much, opting to hear your explanations instead. He enjoyed the way you would go off on tangents about societal values and norms that influenced the market. It was interesting hearing about video games not just from their mechanics but from a more sociological view, interspersed by philosophical insights as you quoted Bauman and Malinowski with ease. He wondered why he had written you off based on an inebriated overheard conversation.

-------

Jungkook was nervous. What started as a way to finally get over Candy had manifested into a full blown crush. A crush that seemed to be requited? The moment you had run him over, he’d been intrigued. The confident, indifferent attitude you possessed had him hooked, and it only escalated when he discovered that you were in every single one of his classes. 

He didn’t even want to come to this party - only deciding to leave his apartment after Seokjin had jokingly said he was too scared to go, and Jungkook wanted to prove him wrong. Donning his leather jacket and usually black jeans and shirt, he entered the overflowing house that stood a little ways from the university, a six pack in hand and nerves high. Although Jungkook’s training had made him exceptional at interpersonal relationships, he still found socializing daunting, especially without the comfort of his usual crew.

Taking a deep breath, he made his way to the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he sipped his beer, hoping someone would start a conversation so he could feel less awkward. Perhaps someone would ask him to share one of the beers he had brought. Perhaps someone from class would be there. Perhaps you would come up to him.

“Hi, you’re Jungkook right?” A sugary voice broke him out of his thoughts as he looked at the woman in front of him. Dressed in a lace bodysuit that emphasized her curves and jeans that made Jungkook gulp, the stranger gave him a wide smile, her teeth blinding.

Jungkook hummed in response, finding it hard to speak, feeling so out of his element that his grasp on his native language disappeared. She didn’t seem too put off by his sudden muteness, instead closing the gap between them, her finger slowly trailing from his collar to his torso.

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, okay?” she whispered leaning into him, her breath ghosting his ear and making his skin erupt in goosebumps. “I want you to take me upstairs and fuck my brains out.”

He couldn’t help but recoil in response. Ever since Jimin had started the rumour that he was some deity in bed in undergrad, Jungkook was used to offers like this, but usually they weren’t so… forward. He wasn’t a complete prude, of course, but the thought of having sex with a stranger whose name he didn’t even know made him extremely uncomfortable, and the way she was touching him suddenly made his skin crawl.

“No, thanks,” he said, stepping away from her, feeling a little guilty as her confidence crumbled in front of him. “I’m sorry, I just don’t do that,” he clarified, only for her to snort, rolling her eyes.

“You don’t have to lie, you can just say you don’t want to,” she sneered before walking away, leaving Jungkook confused, trying to figure out how to explain that he didn’t mean to be condescending. Before he could decide whether going after her was a good idea, your voice interrupted his inner monologue.

“Wow, already breaking hearts. It’s barely midnight,” you quipped, sipping on something out of a disposable cup, and all of Jungkook’s worries disappeared, his heart skipping a beat. Before he could defend himself, you started giggling at what he assumed was his shell shocked expression. “Oh, is that Lowenbrau?” you asked, picking a bottle from next to him and examining the label.

“Yeah… you want some?” Jungkook asked and was greeted by a grin from you as you helped yourself to a bottle, uncapping it by hooking the cap on the counter and hitting the top in a way that was far too attractive for Jungkook to fathom. 

The conversation after that flowed seamlessly, the two of you enjoying beers and then some tequila that was left abandoned by someone. You talked about your classes, making fun of your Ethics professor who suspiciously enough defended dictators a little too much. It had at least been an hour and Jungkook was ecstatic he had been goaded into attending this party. He enjoyed the way your eyes sparkled with mirth when you leaned in and mimicked the fighting couple at the door, making fake dialogue to make him laugh. He liked that you seemed so at ease; it made him comfortable, his usual tongue-tied self around you disappearing in the alcohol bubbling in his veins. That is until, after a joke, you leaned into him giggling, your hand covering your mouth and he was mesmerized by the little laugh. 

You paused then, your eyes looking into his, and his heart stopped. This was the moment. The moment where he should lean over and kiss you, but he had never felt more scared, his hand in a fist as he tried to control the way it was trembling. He felt so out of his depth, like a scared little kid. He had kissed others before, but he knew what was expected. He was expected to sweep you off your feet, kiss you and then ravish you - and suddenly he felt like he was going to throw up. He was still in love with Candy, he realized, ignoring the way his heart sank at the thought, despite it sprinting in his chest.

“Sorry. I don’t want this,” he said abruptly, pushing you away, not missing the way you scowled at him, obviously offended. He moved quickly, making his way to the thankfully unoccupied bathroom and emptying his stomach’s contents in the toilet. After a few long minutes of catching his breath, and using the mouthwash he found under the sink to rinse his mouth, Jungkook looked at himself in the mirror. He needed to get over Candy. Candy was not his soulmate, he reminded himself. His soulmate would only look at him, not be drowning in men in a foreign country trying to distract herself from the fact that she was still in love with his hyung years after he left her. With his rationality returning, he remembered the way you made him feel - safe, even when you made his heart flutter, and it made his decision for him. He was going to apologize to you, and he was going to stop comparing every single woman he met to his childhood crush.

With determined steps he walked back into the party, his eyes scanning the room for you, and his face lighting up when he finally saw you talking to a group of your friends, laughing and drunkenly gesturing with your hands. He smiled softly, making his way towards you, hoping you would give him another chance. However, as soon as he heard what you were laughing about, his face fell, his chest heaving in a way that felt like he had just been stabbed.

“Jungkook? Fuck that entitled himbo. I could never like him,” you giggled in that pretty way that always had Jungkook weak, except this time it made venom rise within him. “You think I’m gonna fall in love with a chaebol? All those guys are spoiled fuckboys. No, thank you!”

----------

It was almost midnight by the time the two of you decided to break for dinner with a game of Mario Kart. You screamed joyously as your Princess Peach overtook Jungkook’s Bowser once again, feeling extra evil and deciding to leave a banana peel in your wake that he once again missed dodging. You were laughing, and couldn’t remember the last time you’d had this much fun. You hadn’t spent time with him since the party that soured your interactions two years ago and you regretted writing him off. 

“Another?” he asked gleefully as the screen showed him in third and you at first, wanting to beat you at least once. With years spent studying games, he had almost forgotten how fun it could be to actually play them with someone. Sure, he occasionally convinced Seokjin and Taehyung to play with him but they never wanted to play something other than ChampCon and that had dampened his enthusiasm. 

“You’re on,” you replied with a grin, forgetting about times when just his presence had made you annoyed. However, before the two of you could have another race on rainbow road, his phone rang. He apologized as he picked it up.

“Hello?” Jungkook answered cheerfully, only for his smile to fall as the person on the line continued. You couldn’t help but mirror his frown as he ran his hand through his hair, his lips pressed together. “Are you sure?” he asked before getting on his feet, looking around the room, the phone still glued to his ear, listening intently as he bit his lip. 

When he hung up, he started running around his apartment, ignoring the way you called out his name. Jungkook’s heart felt like it was in his stomach as a sweat started appearing on his hairline, his breaths getting shallower. He couldn’t find his car keys. Where the fuck were his car keys?

He was panicking, he knew it was obvious, and he startled when he felt your fingers around his bicep. “Jungkook, what’s wrong?” you asked carefully, your face screwed in concern. It took him a minute to calm down, to force his breath to return to normal. He should stop looking for his keys and call a cab. He was being a bad host, he should probably tell you why he had to leave but his throat felt like it was closing up, and it was taking all his brain power to not break down in front of you.

“Where do you need to go?” you asked, apparently much more astute than he ever gave you credit for. You grabbed both his shoulders to make him look at you, and he felt a little calmer with your touch, finally speaking one word.

“Hospital,” he said hoarsely and that’s all it took for you to grab your purse from the coffee table and his hand, moving the two of you outside his apartment, leaving behind all your other stuff in a rush to help Jungkook reach his destination.

----------

“Where is she?” Jungkook yelled, his voice echoing around the quiet lobby as he ran towards Jimin, his friend looking stoned faced. His breathing had calmed down, but he was still worried. He had spent the entire car ride biting the inside of his cheek, trying to keep a cool facade in front of you, but he just needed to see her to make everything better. As soon as he could see her, he’d be okay.

Jimin led the two of you to the private wing of the hospital, the elevator ride a little too long for Jungkook’s liking. As soon as he arrived at the door, he pulled it open, ignoring Seokjin and Seungwon who sat on the couch, his eyes lasering in on the body lying in bed. Her eyes were shut, her head heavily bandaged with a tube attached to her nose to support her breathing. He could hear the heartbeat from the monitor as it rang eerily through the room. 

You felt out of place, watching Jungkook standing motionlessly next to the woman attached to wires. You wanted to reach out to him, an urge to comfort him running through you. You had barely taken half a step in his direction, when a tall, wide shouldered man stopped you. 

“Thank you for bringing him here,” he said politely, his hand raised in front of him. “But I think it’s best if you leave.” Although his tone was not cold, you felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on you. Of course you should leave. You and Jungkook were barely amicable, it seemed awfully presumptuous to think that he would need you to comfort him when he had his friends around him.

“Mom?” Jungkook spoke for the first time, his voice broken, and with a heavy heart you left, not wanting to see him so vulnerable without his explicit consent.

Jungkook could feel his eyes prickling as he held his mother’s hand. She seemed so fragile, her face bruised from the accident. Jimin had informed him that she had been in a car crash over the phone, but he had hoped that she was okay — that she got a few scratches — but the way her skin paled under the fluorescent lights and her shallow breaths puffed through, she looked on the edge of life.

When Seokjin put his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder he couldn’t help himself, turning around to embrace his friend, uncaring how his tears stained his shirt as he sobbed into his shoulder. He felt scared, guilty that the last time he met his mother he had left without saying goodbye.

“Hyung, what if… she dies?” Jungkook spoke his fears out loud, his voice muffled as Seokjin shushed him, hugging him tight. Seokjin was always the person Jungkook pestered, often annoying him and stealing free meals from him, but he was also his closest friend, one that he could always rely on.

“Jungkook, she’s going to be okay. Jimin has his best doctors on it, don’t you, Jimin?” Seokjin said gently, looking over to the blonde in the corner who seemed to be deep in thought. Jimin looked up at the call of his name, making his way over, patting Jungkook’s shoulder softly.

“She’s going to be okay. They put her in an induced coma, she’s just sleeping. She hit her head, but she’s okay,” Jimin reassured, and Jungkook heaved in relief. His mother was ill, but she was going to be okay. He repeated the phrase in his head as Seokjin guided him to the couch, his arms still around him as Jungkook gathered his thoughts, silently crying with his head on the elder’s chest.

He was sipping the water Seungwon got him as his father arrived, his state similar to Jungkook’s ten minutes ago. However, unlike Jungkook, his father didn’t go straight to his wife, making his way to Seungwon who sat next to Jungkook.

“You son of a bitch!” he yelled, grabbing the taller man from his collar and forcing him to his feet. “How fucking dare you?”

Jungkook had never seen his father so uncomposed and as he saw him lift a fist into the air to take an aim at his employee, he sprung into action, holding him back with Seokjin’s help. He knew Seungwon had been driving before the accident, but he didn’t understand why his father was so angry at him just doing his job. It’s not like Seungwon could foresee a drunk driver losing control of their car. However, his father’s next words made everything crystal clear.

“Just because I let you date her doesn’t mean you can kill her, you fucking scum!” he seethed, and Jungkook had never heard such malice before, his eyes widening in shock as he looked at Seungwon, who seemed to take the insults in stride, his face neutral.

“Jaehwa, please calm down,” he pleaded to his friend.

“Calm down? Fuck you,” Jaehwa responded, despite his breathing now significantly more relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” Seungwon responded, his face finally cracking as tears manifested in his eyes. Before Jungkook could realize what was happening, his father wiggled out of his grip and hugged his friend. Seokjin looked at Jungkook confused, but he was equally perplexed at the sudden turn of events.

----------

Seokjin had driven Jungkook home that night, but he couldn’t fall asleep, opting to sit in his kitchen with a drink, staring at the wall, trying to make sense of his parent’s relationship. He knew it wasn’t the best. He had been witness to countless fights over the years, but he was convinced that they were in love. He couldn’t wrap his around the fact his mother was cheating on his father, and that he knew.

He was startled to hear a knock at the door. 

“Jungkook, can I come in?” his father asked, as soon as he opened the door. Grabbing another scotch for him, Jungkook made his way to the living room where Jaehwa sat. The two drank in silence for a while, till one glass turned into two which turned into the bottle being brought to the table. His father was the first one to speak.

“I’m sorry you had to find out about it this way,” he said, his voice a little hoarse from not being used in a while. Finally, Jungkook turned his head towards him and noticed the frown on his face, an older rendition of the one on his own face, and though usually he would feel empathetic, pity for the man who raised him, but the defeated expression only made a rage boil inside him. How could he let that happen to him? Let her get away with this? Hug the man who stole her?

“Why are you still with her? She cheated on you, dad!” he exclaimed, not having the foresight to control his volume as Jaehwa winced. 

“We separated a long time ago, son,” he admitted quietly, and Jungkook felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. He should’ve noticed if his parents were separated, right? Perhaps he was a bad son for never noticing, and the thought made his anger shift from his father towards himself.

“When?”

“As soon as you moved out…”

“Six years ago?” he questioned in disbelief, his mouth hanging open as he stood up, not knowing how to expend the sudden rush of energy in his body other than to start pacing.

“We didn’t want to burden you with it until we had to,” Jaehwa said, a hand reaching out towards his son, but Jungkook just glared in return, not stopping his movements as he strode up and down the room.

“How could you not tell me?” he yelled, “All this time? And she’s with uncle Seungwon?” He was irritated. It felt as if he had walked into some twisted television drama made as fodder for lonely housewives. How could a secret this big be hidden for this long?

“Jungkook… son… she’s happy,” Jaehwa answered with a sad smile, his eyes on how his fingers touched the rim of his glass, swirling a drop of whiskey that stuck to it. He had never seen his father like this: he looked sad, defeated, resigned.

“What happened?” Jungkook asked, the fight in his system giving way to a mourning for the only long term relationship he had known in his life. He sat next to his father, staring intently as he nodded, his lips in a thin line. 

“We still love each other, but somewhere along the way, we just couldn’t be together.”

“That doesn’t make sense. If you love someone you fight for them! You don’t give up, dad.” Jungkook was getting frustrated now, his emotions a flurry as he tried to make sense of the bombshell his father had just dropped on him.

“You’re still young, son,” his father chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. “Sometimes love’s not enough.”

“That’s not true. You both gave up,” Jungkook retorted stubbornly as his father smiled at his naivety.

“And sometimes that’s for the best,” Jaehwa responded, patting his son on his thigh.

The two talked for an hour after, his father explaining that to him, love meant letting each other be happy, even if it means it’s with someone else. Jungkook accepted the end of his parents’ marriage but even after his father tried to explain his view on love, he could not understand him. Love was for forever. It wasn’t a burning of emotions, he knew that. That was lust. Love was a choice. To Jungkook, love was choosing the person you loved every time, even when it was hard. If someone didn’t love you a hundred percent, then they didn’t love you.

He was hurt, confused, and frustrated at the choices his parents made — choices that he was convinced were wrong. But most of all he was angry. Angry at his parents and furious at Cha Seungwon who paraded around him as a second father, giving him advice and listening to his problems for years while conspiring to ruin his parents’ relationship.

----------

Jungkook: Thank you for driving me yesterday. I appreciate it. I have packed up your stuff. I can drop it off if you’d like. Y/N: Don’t worry about it. I can pick it up. Y/N: I know it’s not my place, but is your mom feeling better? Jungkook: She’s doing well. Thank you. Y/N: I’m glad. What time do you want me to come by? Jungkook: 10pm. I’m sorry if that’s too late. I can drop it off. Y/N: It’s fine. I’ll see you at 10. Jungkook: Thank you.

----------

You stood outside Jungkook’s door, feeling extremely awkward. You knew you had no reason to feel that way, but you wanted to comfort him for some reason. You felt a pull towards him, a need to make him smile. That was probably the reason why you decided to spend three hours today trying to bake him cookies. Your mom always baked you cookies whenever you were upset, and so you decided to do the same for Jungkook. You didn’t even know if he ate gluten, or sugar for that matter, but here you were, standing in front of his door with a plastic container almost overflowing with chocolate chip cookies.

You knew he would be wondering why it was taking you so long to come up despite having been let in by the concierge, so you shook your head to dismiss the weirdness of you trying to start some sort of friendship, and knocked.

Jungkook greeted you with a stoic expression, and you didn’t miss the dark circles under his eyes. It had been two days since you’d rushed him to the hospital. Sure, living without your laptop for that long was a nightmare, but you were too busy worrying about this stranger. He had told you his mother was doing well, but you still feared he had lied. Looking at him now, you were starting to be convinced you were correct. 

Dressed in baggy sweat pants and an equally baggy black t-shirt, his hair was dishevelled as he invited you in. The living room itself was a stark opposite of what it had been a few days ago. There were half-eaten take-out containers on the table, empty bottles of beer surrounding the couch, which held a blanket and a pillow as if he had been sleeping on it. However, what really caught your eye was the large whiteboard in the middle of the room, decorated in printouts of various games and barely legible notes on said games.

“Jeon, you okay?” you asked apprehensively as Jungkook moved a giant binder that was placed above your backpack. Before he reached for your bag, he snapped his fingers, walking over to the board and scribbling another note on it. You repeated your question and he looked up at you, as if just registering that you were here.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you,” he said cordially, and you felt cold. The two of you had never been friends, but you had never been polite either. You had only two moods: passive aggressively egging each other on, or enjoying conversations about games. Sure the latter that had happened only once, but was it weird if you missed that?

this?

You bit your lip, wondering if you should push further, worried about his well being.You ultimately decided against it, opting to join him at the board instead. “You worked on it without me?” you asked.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t think you’d want to do it anymore,” he answered, clearly taken aback by your inquiry.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“My hours are crazy right now, so I just assumed.” He trailed off, but he couldn’t help the relief he felt at you wanting to help. He had spent yesterday and today staying with his mother for as long as the hospital allowed, working on his assignments and then spending the whole night working on coming up with a new game. 

“Hey, if I get to beat your ass in Mario Kart everyday, I’m completely happy with working at odd hours,” you joked, nudging him, your heart warming at his first uninhibited smile of the night. Taking that as your cue, you settled on the couch, looking over the binder, your eyes widening at the exhaustive research he had done.

He answered your questions and explained as the two of you dove in to discuss the gaming industry as a whole, absorbed in the certain uptick of mobile gamers that seemed to be a lucrative market to catch. It was in the middle of one of his rants on how people never appreciated the work that went into the viral games, that you remembered the cookies you had been fretting over not even fifteen minutes ago.

Reaching over, you picked the container from where you had previously abandoned it, opening the lid to present a cookie to Jungkook, who in turn simply seemed confused.

“Where did you get those?” he questioned, grabbing a cookie and sniffing it as you rolled your eyes.

“I made them. My mom used to bake cookies to cheer me up and so...” you shrugged in explanation. You weren’t sure why you even told him that. Perhaps you didn’t want him to think that you randomly made cookies and carried them everywhere. You watched in anticipation as he lifted it to his mouth, taking a massive bite before his face screwed up in disgust.

“Ew. Did you want to cheer me up or poison me?” he asked, rubbing his tongue on the back of his hand to get rid of the taste.

“What do you mean? These cookies are delicious!” you argued, only just remembering the little detail of never having tasted them in your rush to make them. Taking a cookie you tasted, only to realize that they were salty. Did you mention this was your first time baking? You probably should’ve bought them instead.

Looking at your expression, Jungkook broke out into a laugh, his cackles filling the room and making you pout at him. You truly wanted to do something nice for him, and although your plan had failed, your intention had succeeded as he looked genuinely amused. 

In his laughter, Jungkook forgot that the cookie was horrendous, subconsciously taking another bite, before spitting it out. The atmosphere after was light, and by the time you left, Jungkook felt lighter, his mind a little clearer. For the first time in weeks, his to-do list was empty as he fell asleep at a semi decent hour.

The next day, you decided to meet Jungkook at the hospital, taking flowers for his mother, and store-bought cookies for Jungkook. The two of you worked quietly with occasional whispered arguments over what made a game good. It felt natural to be working with him closely, his mind surprising you on more than one occasion. Previously you had assumed that Jungkook wasn’t very smart. Sure, he achieved great grades, but you had assumed it was mostly a result of memorization rather than actual understanding of the material. However, Jungkook was extremely sharp, spouting trends and the psychology of getting someone into a habit of gaming, as if it was general knowledge.

That did not mean he was great all around though.

“I don’t understand what’s wrong,” he said, frowning at the vending machine as he swiped his card once again, only to get rejected once more. “How are you rejecting this, you stupid machine? I’m sure I have money on this,” he whined, kicking the machine.

You tried not to laugh at his antics, knowing full well that a hospital was not going to accept a black card. Did he really think that a lowly machine ever got someone of his caliber using their no-limit, 100 million won minimum monthly spendings card? You let him try a few more times before pulling out your own Visa card and swiping it, the iced coffee tumbling through the machine easily.

“Wait, why did yours work?” he asked, brows furrowed as he stared at the drink in disbelief. 

“Jeon, how rich are you?” you asked bemused, enjoying the flush that creeped up his ears at your question.

“I’m not that rich. I mean I’m sure this card should’ve worked.”

“Your card’s too rare for this machine,” you explained, shaking your head in mirth as you paid for your own coffee.

“Oh,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “Okay, let me pay you back. Dinner?”

It became routine after that for you to meet him at the hospital to get some work done before grabbing dinner and going back to his place to work some more. In just a week the two of you had planned a whole mobile game, a toned down version of ChampCon, that would have shorter games for beginners and better graphics. Jungkook wanted to make ChampCon more accessible and a mobile version seemed to make a lot of sense.

Along with coming up with what the two of you thought was a brilliant idea, you’d also found an odd comfort with each other in a very short time. Spending every day with each other, you started noticing little habits about Jungkook: the way he would scrunch his nose when he was excited, or poke his tongue inside his cheek when bored or concentrating, or how he had three laughs, a fake one that used whenever you annoyed him but he was too polite to call you out on it, a joyous cackle whenever he figured out a problem after a long time, and a slimy snicker whenever he was trying to get on your nerves.

Jungkook had forgotten completely about writing you off. Whenever you walked into the room, he felt his heart warm. The past week had been one of the toughest of his life. The constant stress of his final few months of school paired with the pressure of the company and his mother still lying unconscious in the hospital bed, it felt as if he was constantly on an adrenaline high. He couldn’t sleep, he barely ate, but with you around for a few hours he was able to block that out. He was unsure why he felt that way, but being in your presence somehow made him able to concentrate on the task at hand.

Most days.

Today, sitting next to you on his couch, he was distracted. Perhaps it was creepy of him to remember the exact outfit you wore when you divulged to your friends you would never date him, but seeing you in that white silk camisole set him back into that moment. Usually the memory would make him angry, but this time it made him melancholic, like colours had dulled, awashed in sepia. 

“You okay, Jeon?” Your voice brought him back to the present, and he hummed distractedly.

“Hmm? Yes. Sorry.”

“Come on. What’s on your mind?” you asked, moving from where you were on the floor to the couch next to him, patting his knee. “I’m a good listener,” you chimed.

Jungkook was quiet for a little while, wondering if he should be honest. Looking at your earnest smile made his mind up for him. “Just thinking about that party where we first talked.”

“You mean the one where you rejected me like I was stinky tofu?” You snorted, despite the way the memory made you cringe.

“S-stinky tofu?” Jungkook cackled, his hair falling into his eyes as he sputtered. “I didn’t reject you! You said I was an ‘entitled himbo’ and that you would never date me!” he retorted.

“Well that’s because I wanted to kiss you and you literally ran away,” you said, feeling a little guilty. You pouted, heat rising up your cheeks in embarrassment as you looked away. You hadn't thought Jungkook had heard your drunken little rant, but were you really meant to admit to your new friends that the guy you had a crush on since the first time you saw him in your Contracts class recoiled in disgust at the prospect of kissing you?

Jungkook expected you to come up with an excuse for your mean comments; he wanted to confront you, but he softened as soon as he heard your words, his heart dancing in his chest. He knew you wanted to kiss him, but hearing you admit it made him a little brave. Turning towards you, he brought a hand to your knee, gently calling your name.

When you turned towards him, eyes looking into his, he took a deep breath. Leaning in slowly, he brought his lips to yours, and immediately felt as if he was floating. Your lips were plush, the softest he had ever felt, and it made his cheeks burn. He moved away soon after not deepening the kiss, wanting to treasure the little moment, but you were addicted.

Jungkook had barely moved an inch away when your hand reached his neck, pulling him back in. His eyes widened in shock, but he soon lost himself in you, hands cupping your face as you leaned slightly to the side, your tongue too eager to meet his as he opened his lips. He tasted like the peach jellies the two of you had been sharing earlier, a saccharine warmth that had you running your hands through his hair and bringing your leg over his lap to straddle him. 

He pulled you closer, a hand travelling to your lower back and the other resting against your neck where he could feel how your pulse mimicked his. He felt as if he was in a trance, all thoughts tumbling out of his brain to the rhythm of your lips. He whimpered when you pulled his hair, and usually he would overthink it until it became an insecurity but all he could think about was your taste, the sweet cherry of your lip tint searing itself in his mind. 

However, when you moved your hips he realized how turned on he was, a garbled moan escaping his lips into your mouth as he broke out from under your spell, his brain overloading with his usual self-conscious diatribe. Panting under you as you suckled on the skin of his neck in a way that made him whine, his mind played every way you would reject him when he told you the truth. He wasn’t embarrassed about it, but he knew how people worked. You expected the Jungkook that people knew, a heartbreaker, a sex god. How could he expect for you to stay for the bumbling virgin? 

He felt his confidence plummet. According to his friends, porn, and every song and rom com ever he was supposed to take charge. Fuck you in a way that would blow your mind. He was the man, it was his job. He was meant to throw you down to the couch and make you cum, but the closest he had ever gotten to a woman was feeling some tits in second year of undergrad on a dare. 

Suddenly Jungkook felt small, and you noticed the way he tensed under you. Lifting your face from his neck, you tried to catch your breath as you asked him, “What’s wrong?”

“I h-h-have to t-tell you s-s-something,” he whispered, his skin feeling as if it wanted to flee his body. He couldn’t believe his eighth grade stutter was back. He felt anxious, his heart pounded but when you looked at him in concern, your thumbs slowly tracing his cheekbones as you cupped his face, he felt safe. His mind was at odds. At one hand, he trusted you and felt comfortable around you, but on the other, he didn’t know if he could handle getting rejected while you sat on his extremely hard dick. It also didn’t help that his crush from 2 years ago had resurfaced in full force, playing a montage of every moment he had laid his eyes on you in supercut. 

“Virgin,” he blurted, the chorus in his head spilling onto his tongue, his tone making the word sound more like a question than a statement. As soon as he said it, his face turned bright red. He was sure it could be seen from space the way it was glowing. He expected you to recoil in disgust or even pity him, but instead you giggled, one of your hands moving away from his face to cover yours.

He didn’t think about you laughing at him, but it definitely hurt more than the scenarios he had made up. He wanted to push you away, stand up and lock himself in his bedroom till you found enough sense to leave his apartment, but he was frozen.

When you composed yourself, you kissed his cheek, smiling at how warm it was under your lips. You couldn’t believe how ridiculous it was that Seoul’s reputed casanova was a virgin. If someone told you Jungkook was a virgin, you would have never believed them, but looking at the stuttering, flustered man below you, it endeared you. It made you want to protect him.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, hugging him reassuringly, and Jungkook felt like he was going to cry. He was sure it was because of lack of sleep and in no way because of how warm he felt at your words, the hurt quickly melting away. Quietly, he hugged you back, holding you tightly and nuzzling into you, as if on instinct. You let him, slowly stroking his hair, combing the soft strands as you felt your blood fizzing. You kissed him gently on the cheek again, melting at the way he scrunched his nose at that.

Jungkook felt fuzzy under your affections, opening up to you about wanting to save himself for true love, someone who he was fated to be with. Your cynical mind wouldn’t let you believe the same, but his sincerity made you optimistic. When he told you that maybe he was stupid for waiting, you squeezed his hand in yours, moving to sit next to him. You curled your arms around him, resting your head on his chest, feeling oddly calm despite your heated makeout session earlier. 

He hugged you back, feeling the sugar high. He had barely gotten used to your arms around him when you were pulling away, but before he could mourn the loss of your warmth, you were smiling at him, your words making him grin coyly.

“Wanna go on a date tomorrow?”

----------

Y/N: I cannot believe you’re a belieber!! Jungkook: his songs are romantic! Y/N: I’m really reconsidering going on a second date with you Jungkook: come on! give him a chance!!! Jungkook sent a video Y/N: You sing??? Jungkook: i know i’m perfect don’t fall in love 😏 Y/N: Too late. Jungkook: you kiss a girl two times and she gets clingy istg Y/N: I wasn’t the one whimpering when we kissed Jungkook: yes you were Y/N: Sure 🙄 Jungkook: we’ll see in two hours tiger 😴

----------

Y/N: What did you get for 28? Jungkook: c Y/N: I’m pretty sure that’s wrong Jungkook: come over and show me what’s right Y/N: That’s the worst pick up line you’ve used yet Jungkook: and you’re still coming over Y/N: Don’t test me Jeon Jungkook: please 🥺 Y/N: Fuck you Jungkook: all in due time, beautiful 😏 Y/N: OMG. I’m coming over only to beat your ass Jungkook: worth it 😍

----------

Jungkook: thanks for helping me out again Y/N: Stop thanking me Jungkook: just feel like im taking up all your free time and im sorry if you feel pressured to help me Y/N: Jungkook I want to help you. I’m having fun! Jungkook: just thank you Y/N: STOP 😭 Jungkook: ok sorry sorry Y/N: And stop apologizing too Jungkook: im happy we met Y/N: me too

----------

It took a week and a half for the doctors to wake Jungkook’s mother back up, her traumatic brain injury taking longer than usual to heal. The doctors all told him and his father that she may not remember certain events, and might even have some mental delays. The night before she woke up, you visited Jungkook as usual and kissed him to distract him. 

When he fell asleep mid rant about how excited he was to beat Saga Games with your new project, you chuckled. Worried for his back, you woke him to move him to his bed, where he held your hand and asked you to stay. Although you were usually guarded, not wanting to get involved with someone too quickly, you were climbing in next to him in a heartbeat, relishing the way his arms wrapped around you as he buried his face in your neck, dozing off quickly.

Jungkook’s mother didn't wake up when the doctors said she would, so he waited with his father and Seungwon in the room, while you held his hand. It helped calm Jungkook down every time he wanted to lash out at Seungwon for holding his mother’s hand, crocodile tears in his eyes. 

The four of you stayed in the room, Seungwon on a chair next to Kyungsoo, while Jaehwa worked on his laptop on the couch, next to Jungkook and you, the former staring into space blankly, while occasionally squeezing your hand that was sweating in his. He watched the window, counting the leaves on the tree branch that blocked the view of the parking lot, forcing his mind to stop racing with worst case scenarios. By the time the sky faded from blue to pink to an inky black, he knew there were one hundred and twenty seven little leaves, because he had counted them at least eight times. 

“Dear?” his mother croaked, her hand squeezing Seungwon’s and it was like the quiet of the room had suddenly exploded, the men rushing to check on the patient. Before Jungkook or his father could reach Kyungsoo, she was pulling Seungwon to her, kissing him gently as he sobbed. 

Jungkook’s steps faltered at the display, and he felt an odd jealousy that the first person she saw was his secretary. He knew he was her boyfriend but the bitterness was hard to swallow. He called out to her gently, her eyes landing on him, and Jungkook couldn’t control tearing up at how fragile his mother looked.

He hesitated a little when she opened her arms for a hug, afraid that he would crush her, but the moment he was in her embrace he couldn’t help holding onto her tightly, relief flooding through his body. He held on till Kyungsoo chuckled, patting her son on the head affectionately.

You felt odd being in the middle of the family affair, his father soon joining the embrace. You wanted to leave, feeling out of place, but when Jungkook sat by his mother’s side, he brought a chair next to him for you, holding your hand as he talked to her. Your heart warmed whenever he squeezed your hand, reminding you that he wanted you there. Was this too fast for the three official dates you had gone on? Probably, but it felt right.

Despite your mind reminding you that you were imposing on a private matter, your heart won. Over the past few weeks, your crush on Jungkook had not only reignited, but the embers had turned into a forest fire. It felt strange not seeing him everyday, your text threads never ending. Although the two of you still bickered, it was now laced with an underlying tension, that most time resulted in you shutting each other up with kisses.

Kissing Jungkook felt natural. What started as a heated makeout had turned into celebratory kisses after solving a problem you were stuck on, turned into pecks when saying hello, and yearnful groping when saying goodbye. It had barely been a fortnight, yet you felt as if you could kiss him forever. 

With his mind sated about his mother’s wellbeing, Jungkook felt a little more himself, less tumultuous, which gave him plenty of time to overthink about the fact that he had barely been dating you for two weeks and he had somehow dragged you to something much more daunting than meeting the parents. When the realization hit, all Jungkook could do was subtly escape, taking you with him to the hallway, his heart on his sleeve.

“I’m so sorry,” he rushed out as soon as the door was closed, his eyes panicked as they looked at your alarmed face. “I’m sorry I dragged you here. It was so stupid, you must think i’m so clingy and weird and — oh my god, I’m such a loser!”

“Jungkook, hey. Don’t be sorry,” you said, grabbing his wrist to pull it away from where he kept running it through his hair. His shoulders sagged at your words as he let out a breath he seemed to be holding. Moving closer, you wrapped your arms around him, and he immediately returned your embrace. “I’m glad you trust me enough to bring me here,” you whispered, his grip tightening around you in response.

“Thank you,” he replied, inhaling your scent, and feeling at ease. It felt as if everything in his life was falling in place, that for the first time in his existence he could rest. He didn’t feel anxious about taking over the company, he didn’t feel insecure about being written off, he just felt at peace. Could he really live in the moment now? Was that something he could give himself now?

“Hey kid, you’re gonna stand here or gonna tell your mom her favourite son is here?” Yoongi grumbled playfully, and when Jungkook looked up he saw his friends there, holding flowers, candy, and fruit. He was surprised the hospital had let them through. But then again, heading the group was Jimin, arms full of a teddy bear that was probably as tall as him. Even Namjoon had showed up, looking a little worse for wear, dark circles under his hollow eyes, but smiling nevertheless. 

Jungkook’s mom beamed when the group of ten entered in a flurry of celebration. Jimin, being the loudest as usual, ran up to her screaming “Eomma!”, followed by Taehyung, both of them hugging her. The older ones, Yoongi and his wife, and Seokjin were more composed, handing her the flowers, Seokjin making the cheesy joke about her being Jungkook’s sister - a joke he’d made since the day he first met her. Candy immediately scoffed at them, moving the flowers away to hug her tight, having seen her the first time since her time abroad. Namjoon was more reserved but his well wishes still touched her heart.

It felt like a reunion of sorts, and despite Hoseok still being in the States, Seokjin had him on Facetime, in all his sleepy glory. Their group hadn’t all been together for so long, that Jungkook felt a little misty eyed. Despite everyone being in such different places in their lives, and despite the circumstances, it felt right that everyone was here at this moment. He reached for your hand, squeezing your fingers when he introduced you to his childhood friends, not missing the way Candy finally broke out of the stupor she had been in since Hoseok’s call, and raised an eyebrow in amusement. 

Jungkook was finally at ease.

----------

The door bell was loud and obnoxious, startling Jungkook awake. He groaned, rolling out of bed at the insistent noise, eyes barely opened and padded towards the front door. All sleep disappeared when he saw you standing in the hallway, a colourful paper hat on your head, and a coffee and cupcake in your hands, a sparkler glittering on the tiny cake. 

“Happy birthday, Jeon,” you smiled at him, a brilliant grin that always made his heart skip. His nose scrunched in response as he returned your smile, grabbing the coffee and replacing it with his hand. He dragged you to the kitchen, impatiently excited, giggling like a kid, and you couldn’t help but coo at his actions as he quickly took the cupcake from you, placing it on the counter.

Before you could say anything, he was kissing you, hands cupping your face gently as he continuously pecked your lips. If someone had told him last year that on his next birthday he would be kissing the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, he would’ve laughed in their faces, but with your lips on his, he couldn’t think of anything that seemed more fated.

His hands travelled down your sides, and when they reached your butt, he picked you up, placing you on the counter gently before looping his arms around your waist and pulling you to his chest. His eyes were shining when you separated, a toothy grin on his face that made him oddly look like a little rabbit. Grabbing the cupcake, you brought it between the two of you, picking out the now dead sparkler and replacing it with a candle from your hoodie pocket, lighting it quickly.

“Make a wish,” you said, expecting Jungkook to close his eyes and do so. Instead he looked straight at you, blowing out the candle before plucking it out, messily taking a big bite of the chocolate cupcake with frosting adorning his lips. 

“I already got my wish,” he said, kissing you once again, tasting of chocolate and adoration. 

----------

It seemed surreal, walking from the car to the docks, where a small boat awaited to take you to the extravagant yacht. When you asked Jungkook out for a date, a month and half ago, you wouldn’t have imagined that you would be going to a party where actual paparazzi roamed at the entrance. 

For being one of the richest men in Korea, Jungkook never acted that way. Sure, he may live in a wildly secure gated community with actual celebrities as neighbours, and his watch probably cost more than your car, but Jungkook never flaunted his wealth, and so you often forgot. Playing video games over a bowl of 300 won ramen and arguing over who won only to devolve into tickles and kisses were how you knew Jungkook, not the man photographed by the media in tailored Armani suits and sports cars. It was a bit jarring seeing the extent of his wealth, especially when you finally climbed aboard the yacht.

The boat was akin to a hotel on sea, the deck lit up brilliantly with chandeliers that seemed to float as a live jazz band performed on stage. Servers walked around guests dressed in the latest runway fashion, an eclectic mix of people from vastly different age groups but exceedingly similar income brackets. You felt out of place, dressed in a little black dress from Zara, akin to a coal dropped among diamonds.

You grabbed a flute of champagne, scanning the floor for the birthday boy, and unsurprisingly finding him surrounded by his friends. You had seen him only a few hours before, but you felt butterflies return as soon as your eyes met his. Jungkook was the first man you had ever felt that way with, like he was a childhood fantasy personified, making your palms sweat and your heart somersault. You weren’t someone who fell for people quickly, but it seemed as if two years of pining had snowballed into a yearning that never seemed to be satiated. 

When Jungkook met your eyes, he forgot where he was, music and Seokjin’s half baked jokes fading into the background just like the movies as he made his way to you. “You came,” he said softly when he reached you, somewhat dazed by how beautiful you looked. He couldn’t help the blush that made its way over his cheeks as you smiled at him.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you asked, just as his arms circled you, making your breath hitch a little. Jungkook smirked at your subtle inhale, enjoying the effect he had on you. He still couldn’t believe that somehow in such a short time he had found someone that made him feel supported. Jungkook hadn’t truly realized how alone he felt in the past twenty three years of his life. People often say you have to know sadness to know happiness, but he hadn’t realized that you have to know companionship to know loneliness, and he never knew how lonely he was before he met you — a little boat floating on a never-ending still ocean.

Although celebrations were in full swing, he couldn’t focus on guests, mingling with them a chore he’d rather escape. And so about an hour after your arrival, he decided to do just that. 

Your hand in his and champagne bubbles in his head, he led you to below deck, where the rooms were. It felt a little funny, a weird parallel to how his friends would run away to smelly frat rooms during a party in undergrad, but he felt giddy almost running through the decadently decorated hallways, trying rooms till he found an open one, your giggles a soundtrack to the moment.

“You can’t just run away from your own party, silly boy,” you joked as he pulled you into the room, locking the door and walking backwards to the bed, dragging you along with a grin.

“Can’t help it. You look too pretty,” he said with a giggle, sitting down and pulling you to him, hands on your waist as you stood between his legs.

“You’re just horny,” you snorted, an eye roll on the ready. 

“Yes, I am,” he exclaimed jovially, falling back onto the bed, his hands behind his head, eyes closed. You laughed at his silly mood, more than a little turned on by his blatant admission. Over the last month, the two of you had been getting close. By now you had his taste memorized, and you craved his lavender vanilla scent throughout the day, but you still felt a little hesitant to move things forward physically. 

Jungkook was romantic. The kind of romantic who would send you karaoke covers of love songs, who would pick a flower from the neighbour’s garden to put in your hair, who would hide silly post-it notes in your books and laptop just to make you smile. Before Jungkook, you hadn’t known romance. You had written it off as a fantasy devised by the media to sell movies and dramas, unattainable and unrealistic. Your previous experiences were proof enough, cheating boyfriends and one night stands the norm in your dating life.

He opened his eyes when you didn’t respond with your usual quips, finding you still staring at him, worrying your lip. He faltered a little, but refused to let the liquid courage die down, reaching to grab your hand, interlacing your fingers.

“Aren’t you gonna come get me, Tiger?” he asked, lips upturned in a smirk as he pulled you towards him, making you fall on top of him. He laughed at your horrified gasp, hugging you tight and kissing the top of your head as you relaxed. “Why are you worried?”

“Why aren’t you?” you countered, finding this sexually confident Jungkook a little jarring. You could hear his steady heartbeat from where your head rested on his chest, a change from the usual nervous pounding.

“Because it's you,” he said softly, lifting your head gently to look at you, eyes shining with adoration. “You make me brave,” he said. His thumbs caressed your cheekbones as he cupped your face, his lips meeting yours, and you felt as if you would explode. 

You kissed him back as his arms circled your lower back, pulling you higher up on him. You felt at ease, and because he made you brave too, you straddled him, your knees on the bed next to his hips as his hands trailed to your thighs, gripping the flesh and massaging it slowly. 

Much like every time you kissed Jungkook, you were soon breathless, not wanting to ever stop as his tongue wrestled yours. When you bit his lip teasingly, he whined, his hips moving up to start grinding into yours, your dress now hiked up almost to your waist. 

“Ha!” you exclaimed, pulling away as he chased your lips with a scowl. You pinned him to the bed, hands on his shoulders as you laughed. “You whimpered first!”

“Are we still playing that stupid game?” he asked, rolling his eyes, laughing as you gleefully nodded. Jungkook knew why you were stalling. You always did it when things got too hot and heavy, giving him an easy out with jokes, afraid to make him uncomfortable, but Jungkook didn’t want an out now. 

He had spent his whole life searching for a soulmate, and nothing else explained the connection he felt with you. You had quite literally crashed into his life, challenged him for two years, and then somehow helped him when he needed it the most. Maybe it was too soon to tell, but he didn’t care. He had never felt this way around anyone, not even Candy who he was convinced he was in love with. But seeing Candy didn’t feel like this. Like he could finally breathe, like he was in a meadow surrounded by jasmine and lilies, or in a cocoon wrapped up snugly.

Smiling widely, he flipped you over, hands next to your head as he looked down on you. “My turn,” he said with a chuckle, swiftly attaching his mouth to your neck, where he knew you were especially sensitive. He suckled the skin, caressing it with his tongue, and coaxing the breathy moans he loved so much.

You called his name and he looked up, not being able to resist tasting your lips again. In every other instance in his life when he had gotten close to having sex, he felt insecure, felt this intense pressure to perform, but right now he felt safe. Perhaps it was the alcohol confusing his emotions, but he was certain that it was you, your presence a shelter from the storm.

“Be my girlfriend,” he said, now leaning on his forearms, his nose nuzzling yours, and for the first time, you didn’t have a witty remark. Nodding wildly, you wrapped your arms around him, kissing him once again, your lips fervent as you lost yourself in him. Eager kisses led to even more eager undressing as you rid him of his shirt, running your hands up and down his chiseled abdomen. 

“Lie back,” you whispered, pushing at his chest till he fell back on the bed. You were on him immediately, kissing down his jaw to his neck to his chest, leaving a little trail of love bites that made him keen. 

You giggled at the sound he made as your lips circled his nipple. He was sensitive and you couldn’t wait to unravel him, proud of being the first one he had trusted to be this vulnerable with. “I thought you were all smug now, Jeon?” you asked with a grin as you looked up at him, his eyes darkened and his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“I -” he began, only to break into a whine when you playfully brought your teeth into the mix, the feeling shooting from his nipple straight to his dick. He panted, trying to collect his scrambling thoughts but all he could was plead, face flushed as he closed his eyes. “Please Y/N… Please.”

Jungkook was about to lose his mind. No, scratch that. Jungkook was about to lose his load, as your lips moved lower on his body. He felt already on edge and you had barely unbuttoned his pants. His hips moved without instructions as you pulled his pants off, the material of them and his boxers stuck mid thigh. He wanted to shimmy them off, but you were too impatient, and he was too powerless to protest as you licked a strip up his length. 

His legs twitched at the action, his core tightening as he felt an ache in his balls. Your mouth encased him and his breath hitched at the way your tongue continued to lap at his dick when you moved your head up and down. He was going to cum within thirty seconds if you kept that up, and despite his warnings you continued, winking up at him when he told you he was close. 

“Wanna taste you, Koo,” you said, your voice raspy, before you took him deeper. His hips rose of their accord, matching the way you bobbed on him, and it was with a high pitched cry that he came. You relished his taste, the bittersweet salt coating your taste buds as you swallowed him, continuing your ministrations till he was mewling, hand pulling at your hair.

“Happy birthday,” you said as Jungkook panted, his breaths heavy and inconsistent. He never knew an orgasm could feel this good. Is this what it was like being with someone? Did it always feel like galaxies exploding in his chest, or was it you? 

He turned his head to see you lying next to him, both hands under your head as you smiled softly at him, and he couldn’t help returning it just as tenderly. He lifted his hand to push a strand of your hair behind your hair before leaning in and kissing you gently. When his tongue met yours, he could taste himself, something he thought would be repulsive but only ignited more lust within him. 

Before he could stop himself, he was on you, his hands undoing your zipper deftly and pulling the dress off your body. Seeing you in just your underwear below him made him almost short circuit, stalling his movements as he forgot what he was even trying to do.

“What’s wrong?” you asked shyly, a little taken aback by how he was staring, mouth agape. 

“So pretty,” he whispered in awe, eyes roaming your body as he sat on his heels next to you. You couldn't help but chuckle at his reverence, reaching behind you to undo your bra and tossing it on the floor, before doing the same with your panties. The sound that Jungkook made at your actions could only be described as needy but he still didn’t move, just looking at you, unsure of how to proceed. 

Sitting up, you brought his lips to yours, guiding his hand to your chest. You sighed when he hesitantly rolled a nipple between his fingers, repeating the action again and again. Paired with his eager kisses, you were soon dripping. The two of you were on your knees, his arms now winding around you and moving lower. 

The more Jungkook kissed you, the more natural it felt to be doing this with you. He hadalways been saving himself for the right person, and now he was grateful he had waited for you to find him. His lips moved from your lips to your chest, engulfing a nipple in his mouth, copying the way you had sucked and ran your tongue over his, grinning when you mewled, your hands tugging at his hair. Maybe he didn’t have to be terrible at his first time, he thought, and it gave him the confidence to move his tattooed hand between your legs.

He nipped at your chest, groaning when he felt how wet you were, and all he wanted to do was to taste you, make you feel as good as you made him feel.

“C-can I try to…” he trailed off, looking at you as you cupped his face. You nodded, and Jungkook pushed you to the bed, a little too aggressively, causing you to wince in response. He apologized, kissing you once again before moving between your legs, and settling on his stomach.

Fuck, is that what you smelt like? He was going to get addicted, he knew it as soon as he inhaled your musky scent, and when he started licking at your folds tentatively, he knew he had found his favourite flavour. 

Your hips jolted when he immediately entered you with his tongue, lapping at you quickly as if on a mission to devour you. He kept up his pace and you moaned, hands gripping the sheets. It felt so good, but he kept avoiding your clit and you felt as if you were on the edge, your mind blank, only his name flowing from your tongue.

Hearing his name, he moved further down, his tongue fucking into you as his lips pulled your labia, making you lose your mind. You couldn’t take it anymore; you needed to cum, you needed him to touch your clit so you could fall apart before you cried. Pulling his hair, you pleaded, and he continued his actions.

“Baby… please! More! Please!” you exclaimed, and when he refused to change his technique, your hips started rolling against his face. He moaned loudly, his arms wrapping around your legs as he let you use him. With the friction of his nose rubbing on your clit, you finally unravelled, screaming affirmations for your new boyfriend as he continued to lap at you. 

You pulled him away, shuddering, whimpering expletives, and he grinned when he kissed you. Jungkook knew he wanted to make you cum, but he didn’t know how fucking hot the image of you shaking in his arms would be.

“I give you the best head I have ever given and you edge me?” you said breathlessly, brushing your hair off your face where it was plastered in sweat. “You’re such a tease!”

“I didn’t edge you!” Jungkook protested, his indignance not visible under how brightly he was smiling, still giddy over making you into a fucked out mess. In all honesty, Jungkook had no idea he was edging you. He had just followed what he had seen in porn, but he was definitely going to remember that for next time. 

Still on top of you, he nuzzled into your neck and you couldn’t help but giggle, stroking his hair.

“You okay?” you asked, your heart blooming when he laid beside you, pulling you to his chest.

“Better than okay,” he replied, kissing the top of your head. “Happy. Ecstatic! Euphoric!” he yelled, his arms tight around you, and you burst out laughing, your lips pressed to his collarbone.

“You are a dork,” you said gleefully.

“No, I’m your boyfriend,” he countered, giggling with excitement, before he simmered, his lips meeting yours gently. He wanted more, so much more. Wanted to sink into you, make you fall apart on his dick, and he could feel himself getting hard again just at the thought.

However, your calm moment was interrupted by his phone ringing. Groaning, he separated from you, answering to his father asking him where he was. He dressed quickly, pulling up his pants and shyly turning away when you helped him with his shirt, buttoning it much slower than when you had unbuttoned it.

“It’s probably something stupid, like meeting someone,” he rolled his eyes, watching you pick up your bra from the ground, but before you could put it on, he grabbed it, biting his lip and looking at you mischeviously. “Stay naked,” he whispered.

“Jeon!” you exclaimed, a little bashful at his forward demand. 

“Come on! Please?” he asked, his eyes big as he pouted at you, trying to act cute as he pushed you back onto the bed, pulling the covers over you. You rolled your eyes at his antics as he kissed you again, hungry and desperate, making you moan at the way his tongue met yours. 

“I still have to lose my virginity,” he said with a wink as he left a few more kisses before leaving, you shaking your head in faux disappointment. In reality, you were on cloud nine, turned on beyond belief for how the night would unravel.

----------

Jungkook whistled as he made his way to the top deck, eyes peeled for his father. He felt as if nothing could break him, elated with anticipation and impatient to join you back in the room. A goofy grin seemed to plastered on his face as he recalled the way you looked flushed from the orgasm he had given to you. Jungkook’s ego was sky high; maybe he was the sex god everyone thought he was after all. He giggled to himself at the thought.

“Hey Jungkook!” a raspy voice called out to him, and he turned around to see Yoongi walking over to him with long determined steps, a scowl adorned on his face. “Where’s Tiger?” he asked coldly, a contrast to how he usually babied his youngest friend, but Jungkook was too in his head to decipher the tone.

“You mean my girlfriend?” he said smugly, his nose scrunching as he tried to keep the dopey smile off his face. It was easier when he saw the way Yoongi’s face fell, immediately concerned for his friend. “Hyung, what’s wrong?” 

Yoongi sighed, hugging Jungkook as he tried to not recoil in shock. Yoongi never hugged anyone first, unless something was wrong. He worriedly scanned the room, scared that his mother would be hurt once again, anxiety clawing at his nerves. 

He relaxed a little when his eyes landed on her, safe and laughing with his father. Not knowing what could be wrong, he repeated his question, only for Yoongi to let him go and look at him with a sad smile.

“She used you, Jungkook,” Yoongi said with another sigh, and Jungkook’s confusion only grew.

“Who?” he asked, brows furrowed as he took the phone his older friend handed to him.

He felt his blood run cold as he looked at the screen, heart shattering as if someone took a hammer to it. No, not shattering. It felt as if it had been ripped from his chest and put in a blender. He could feel his pulse in his ears as the screen in front of him turned blurry.

He didn’t realize he was crying till a teardrop landed on Yoongi’s phone, magnifying your handle as if to mock him.

Renowned Youtuber Y/N Y/L/N callmetiger95 Appointed Lead Strategist of Saga Games.

Maybe everyone was right after all. Soulmates weren’t real, love was a sham, and Jeon Jungkook was an idiot.

-

Part 1 | Part 2 | Drabble

taglist- @ressjeon, @joonights, @mwitsmejk, @daggerbeneathmygown, @moonchild1, @drumsofheaven, @thisartemisnevermisses, @kaepjjangiya, @bbydoejk, @emsuzz, @crewzie-chan, @cheesecakes-randomshitz, @aroseforyoongi, @awhnamjoon, @agustdjoon, @codeinebelle, @hobiandsprite

[piviani]

jungwon positive and negative traits

( disclaimer: please do remember to take my readings with a grain of salt. i am in no way a professional tarot reader and all of this are alleged and is for entertainment purposes only. )

positive traits

nine of pentacles - queen of cups - knight of wands - knight of pentacles in rv - queen of wands in rv

so lets start off with the nine of pentacles, according to it—jungwon is someone who is confident and independent in a good way. he is an hardworking person, might not back off easily even though everyone or everything is getting in his way. he believes he can make it. jungwon is someone who has a wide perspective, but not only that, he is also as well someone who understands the hard work of people— how people got to where they are now, knowing him himself also as well experienced it. one thing about jungwon is he always appreciates what he currently has, but that doesnt mean hes already content with it though.. however he is grateful and so, he continues to dream and strive for it. and that’s actually great. jungwon is also as well someone who comforts you. if we put it simply, hes sort of a .. soft person, and like friend who always comforts and supports you in every way. your healer and your armor. its like youre just.. simply sitting there and he immediately asks you what wrong. like he can sense it already just by the look of your face 😭 he is also as well calm—like the little waves of the sea and the wind of the sky. (wow yeah the contrast with the QoC and KoW lmfao..) ok lets move on! with the KoW.. yeah he is also energetic too.

jungwon is someone who knows how to sense the atmosphere. he can be calm at the right time, and he can also as well be energetic at the exact time. someone who probably says, “Lets do it!” with a thumbs up that immediately turns into a fist and just randomly takes your hand and run (with you) lol like . . just energetic. might be the joker in a class if he feels like it. hes such a positive person with others, always there to comfort everyone. (but yeah .. if alone :/ a type of to think negative to himself. thats the problem with him ig..) but yeah lets move on again! with the KoP in the otherhand, he is ambitious, protective and driven person. the type to take risks. (but he needs to tone down this a bit though because being too ambitious can fail you.) and ouu if we think it through he might be the type of person who believes with the word yolo too. and last, one of his traits that’s considered positive is, again, he knows himself. he knows what his wants and needs are. exactly thats right. he is aware. he is also not the type to be affected easily by the opinions of others. not to back off easily. though he might prefer to be in sidelines instead to taking the spotlight. a lowkey person.

note: um someone tell him to be cocky because ??? i would be cocky as hell if i were him im being honest /hj

negative traits

the star in rv - ten of cups i n rv - the tower - eight of cups - three of wands

his negative traits in the other hand is he thinks negatively. (this is not surprising anymore tbh) might suddenly leave you with so many unanswered questions. jungwon is someone who judges, or criticize his own self. a sort of a perfectionist. (this is probably due to his virgo🧍) he also as well someone who lack of confidence at times. self doubt is very prominent. kind of hypocrite too . . like your friend who gives you hopes and thinks positively for you, and is always there but erm with their own self.. which is confusing like what. but theres this saying, its easy to say but hard to do lol buuuttt moving on, he also as well constantly picks up even a little bit of his mistake. jungwon is the type of person who just suddenly disconnects with people out of nowhere, no matter whom.. may be his friends or family. he just disappears and abandons everyone. sudden mood changes always happens too. one time hes all smiley and giggly and the minute hes just sooo quiet and just stares at the wall. he isolates and might neglect his own needs even. always turns his back around and leave. he feels like something is still missing in his’, which he always seem to be in-search for. trying his best to not feel his own existence. avoiding the problems and all that shit instead of choosing it to solve . . jungwon always seems to feel empty to be honest.

[ reading was made in aug 7, 2022. ]

[blookmallow]

i finally went through the whole midsommar script on scriptslug, theres a LOT of things that were changed, a lot of details i didnt catch, and i have. many things to say. here we go

theres a lot of reverse parallels with dani and christian; at the beginning she's worried she's leaning on him too much (do you feel held by him?) and is concerned about "roping him into (her) family crap" - when she's the one about to be pulled into the hårgas family

she worries about overwhelming christian with her personal life, when it's christian (or, more accurately, pelle, since christian doesn't actually want to invite dani in the first place) about to pull her into something she's not prepared to handle

(also "girlfriend" there is the straight girl version of the word lmfao dani deserves a gf though)

"if he's gonna leave you for being Too Much like that, good riddance" vs uh, what actually happens to christian

pelle is drawing flowers when we first see him

kind of blunt christian foreshadowing lmfao but im also curious if it was actually pelle who said that (i dont remember and a lot of things got switched around from the script to the final version) - if pelle Already Knows at this point, and whether he's earnestly encouraging christian in the direction the hårgas want him to go under the impression that theres nothing wrong with it, or if this is some kind of secret joke at christian's expense that no one catches because. no one knows what he really means

christian brushing dani off vs pelle immediately being very attentive to her from the beginning

they joke but between christian's "approved mating" with maja and dani being drawn into the cult, this is exactly what's happening to them

playful banter that becomes way more sinister considering the truth under it,

i noticed this watching it too but for some reason, Only this one time, christian is really adamant about wanting to wait for dani and wanting to do this Together and i dont know why. he's completely dismissive of her every other time. why does he stand his ground so much on this

i guess this is the first cultural thing they engage in, the first time they are drugged (this time it's their Choice to get high, they know what they're taking and what it will do, though) so maybe there's. some layer of irony, something something christian wants dani to be drawn into the hårgas culture with him, when that ends up being what kills him and breaks her, i dont know

dani has a way worse time with the drug hallucinations in this version

also apparently tumblr doesnt allow more than 10 images even in text posts anymore which is cool and not going to fuck up my blogging at all :) so im just gonna type out. the rest of the excerpts. i guess

Dani sees a DEAD RABBIT. Its innards are splayed.

Dani warily approaches. Magnetized but repulsed. As she nears, the FEAR rises in her. She gets close enough to finally see...

The rabbit is being devoured by ANTS.

Dani looks mortified, but her eyes are glued. She LEANS IN to look closer, but then -- she sees ANTS on her arm. (Whether they're there or not is unclear.)

Dani SCREAMS. She violently SLAPS at her arm. She then swipes at her other arm, and starts slapping at her NECK and FACE, as if she were engulfed in ants. (She's not.)

Dani looks down. The earth seems to now be a PULSATING CARPET OF ANTS.

i dont remember this happening so im assuming it was cut or my memory is even worse than i thought, but anyway this is a really interesting parallel to Hereditary and i dont know if there's some deeper meaning there or if ari aster just likes the grotesque visual of something dead and rotting and swarming with ants but i like it

INGEMAR

Well... we were all working on the same farm, and funny enough: I was dating Connie when Simon and me first became pals.

Simon's eyes narrow.

CONNIE

(correcting) Well - we'd been on a date. Which I wasn't even actually aware that it was a date.

INGEMAR

(backtracking jovially) Right, no, I meant that Connie and me had just become friends - we decided to be friends - and that was just before Connie and Simon started dating. And now they're engaged!

I think Ingemar may have been attempting to recruit Connie as their potential next May Queen/drawing her into the "family" - maybe he and Pelle had the same mission, bring back someone from outside to join us, and someone to be sacrificed. it sounds like Ingemar wanted to date Connie, and wanted to bring her back as the new may queen, but Simon got in the way, so now Ingemar is knowingly bringing them here intending for them to be sacrifices, possibly out of spite (I'm not sure if Ingemar is chosen as a sacrifice at the end Because he failed to bring back the new may queen, or if that was the plan regardless)

it's possible Ingemar and Pelle are rivals in this, and Pelle succeeded where Ingemar failed (though ultimately they both brought the necessary outsiders for the final ritual, so neither of them actually Failed, but. y'know. pelle doesn't get sacrificed and his target became may queen and joins them

it's also interesting that like. on the one hand, connie and simon appear to have a healthy, supportive relationship. but because of that, because the cult was unable to tear them apart or single them out, they both die. they're also the most vocally against the violence of the cult, they ask the most questions and try to leave, which. i think they were planned to be sacrificed either way but that is the moment they're taken away

so their stability, strength, and agency were actually their downfall

vs dani and christian have a very weak, miserable relationship, and dani is in an absolutely TERRIBLE place mentally, she's already feeling incredibly isolated, christian keeps pushing her to accept the questionable aspects of the cult, to give in rather than fight back (though he doesn't catch on that anything's wrong until Way Too Late)

so dani lives, in some sense because of the brokenness in her life

but then, did she really win in all this? would it really be better to live that life, in that place with all sense of self destroyed, living with that guilt and trauma forever? there's such a thing as a fate worse than death. i don't know. i dont know

anyway. instead of seeing the artwork depicting the love ritual, everyone gathers to watch a short film made by the hårgas showing it much more explicitly; i think the. tapestry? painting? whatever it was just being shown briefly to plant the concept in our minds is much more effective

Near Dani, a BLONDE WOMAN (30s) cradles the CRYING BABY.

DANI

(inquiring) Is your baby okay?

BLONDE WOMAN

Oh, she will be. She has a bone problem.

this, and also,

DANI

Excuse me? Can I ask if you know what's happening over there?

HÅRGAN MAN

(looking over) Ah. Poor little Einar has the, em - where the bones are bad?

there's this... recurring thing about the babies in the village having some kind of bone condition and a whole ritual about passing a baby through the branches of a tree to cure it or something? which i didnt really understand and i couldnt remember if that happened in the final version or not, but i do remember there was a baby constantly crying in the background often enough that i started noticing it

i dont know what that's about. could they be doing something to the babies that's causing this? something to do with inbreeding? (seems unlikely, since it seems like they only explicitly allow inbreeding to create their sacred child to receive the visions or w/e, it doesn't seem like it's a common enough thing to be causing so many babies to have the same bone condition)

- Pelle stops the group on their way to the first sacrificial ritual to actually explain what's about to happen. He warns them they might not want to see it, and it may be strange to them, but very important and beautiful to the hårgas - rather than catching them off guard (though of course it's still incredibly horrifying to witness, even so) (I'm not sure if the intention in cutting this was just to amplify the shock factor and leave us, and the outsiders in the group, in the dark until the moment everything goes down, or if maybe pelle neglecting to explain it could be meant to imply this is such a natural thing to him it didn't even occur to him to warn them about it)

Josh can't suppress a smile - anticipating Pelle's answer

josh also seems downright gleeful about the whole thing, and there was... sort of a little of this in the final version but it seems. worse in the script for some reason, like this is funny to him, or maybe it's just the "I Know Something You Don't Know" factor, but it seems like a really weird and insensitive reaction given that he's an anthropology student who is familiar with this as a cultural rite

it's also two men who die in the. cliff ritual. rather than a man and a woman, not sure why

then we have another ritual where. i already have forgotten how it went but it was something to do with dropping a tree into the river as a kind of offering, i think, but then THIS happens

THIN MAN (CONT'D)

(in Swedish) But I do not wish to risk offending our generous Mother.

LARGE WOMAN

(in Swedish) Nor do I. Yet we have already given our finest jewels and most fruitful tree. What else could we possibly offer?

Then a YOUNG BOY (10) is heard among the crowd.

YOUNG BOY (O.S.)

You can use me!

The crowd OPENS UP to reveal the young boy. He is adorned in the same jewels and flowers as the tree. His costume is an imitation of the tree's. He is clearly reciting lines (with less confidence than the Thin Man and Large Woman).

LARGE WOMAN

(in Swedish) You, young Ame, wish to offer your life to our beloved Goddess?

YOUNG BOY

(in Swedish) If She will have it.

THIN MAN

(in Swedish) How brave you are, little Ame!

YOUNG BOY

(in Swedish) Brave? What is brave in going home?

Horns are played as the Young Boy steps forward to stand before the men who tossed the tree. They reluctantly lift the boy up and carry him to the river.

this sends dani into a panic, they've already witnessed one human sacrificial ritual, and she understandably believes they're about to drown this child, but then there's this. weird staged protest before they go through with it

The crowd erupts into a CACOPHONY OF STAGED PROTEST. The men stop swinging the boy. After sufficient heckling, the men RELEASE the boy. He then runs to SIV, bashfully burying his face into her dress. She pats his head with pride.

Everyone APPLAUDS. The performance seems to be over. Dani looks completely disoriented.

so. it seems like everyone has memorized lines and understands what's happening (except the outsiders) so i guess the intention was "we're gonna pretend we're going to sacrifice a child to the river but then stop it at the last second and let him go" for... some reason

DANI

I don't want to acclimate! I want to leave.

christian keeps pushing for dani to just try to understand/fit in, to get used to it, but she's fighting it and wants out, again, her finally giving in and becoming fully one with the cult is the end of them both (well. dani lives. but y'know)

- pelle mentions that maja is 15, which i didnt catch, and makes this all. Worse

- mark's fatal mistake is different; instead of, uh. defiling the ancestral tree (which i think was literally where they put the ashes of the dead? i forget) he's actually trying to take part in a cultural tradition the men of the village are doing; they're collecting charms that have been hung in the trees and he tries to join in

Mark has arrived at an OAK TREE with a particularly large PINECONE (also bearing a flower) at the top. Its base has been tied with rope. Mark begins to CLIMB it.

CHRISTIAN

Wait, dude. Maybe hold off.

MARK

I'm gonna "gather a charm."

Josh and Christian look uneasy as Mark quickly scales the Oak. As he climbs past a few branches, a BEARDED MAN (40s) is heard off-screen:

BEARDED MAN (O.S.)

NEJ!!!

Mark FREEZES. The Bearded Man runs over. This is ULF.

ULF

(in Swedish) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET OFF! GET DOWN!

Mark, now standing motionless on a branch, looks stupefied. The branch suddenly SNAPS beneath his feet, and he comes TUMBLING to the ground. He lands HARD on his ass.

Ulf desperately picks up the BROKEN BRANCH. He then notices that the tree's mud-plugged CLEFT (wrapped in rope) has BROKEN OPEN.

ULF (CONT'D)

(in Swedish) Oh no no no... What have you done?

so instead of doing something vulgar and Obviously insensitive and insulting, he's Trying to engage with their culture, just in a clueless and clumsy way, which is an interesting change

in the final version i think it makes mark seem less sympathetic/more He Had It Comin and makes you sympathize more with the cult members, there's less grey area so i think it makes you see their side a little clearer. personally i felt disgusted too, like yeah he didn't Know it was their ancestral tree but he's such a bitch about it when, once you realize what he's done, it's such an obvious insult, he should have been fucking mortified but he brushes it off so casually

while it's easier to relate to "so he broke a branch, so what" i think the concept of defiling a grave (or at least a memorial place) is something american audiences can readily understand and relate to while the spiritual tree connection is something more foreign

ulf is really, really distraught about the tree, it seems to be a huge personal blow to him emotionally and mentally

MARK

What the fuck? How is it his tree? What's even happening?

PELLE

That tree cured him of pneumonia when he was a baby.

MARK

What? How?! No it didn't.

PELLE (CONT'D)

He believes it did. And now his health and his life are tied to that tree. If it gets hurt, he gets hurt.

i dont remember if this is worded the same in the final version but in the scene where pelle tries to connect with dani

DANI

You're a very empathetic person, do you know that?

PELLE

Well, our first language here is strictly emotion-based. So I could just be using that to manipulate you.

Dani pauses at this. Pelle sticks his TONGUE out, teasing. Dani SMILES, relieved.

PELLE (CONT'D)

You are very vulnerable, though. And I mean that in a great way. It's very rare. It's beautiful.

boy this is scary as shit given how things are about to go down

i cant figure pelle out, i really have no clue how much of this is him just honestly thinking he's doing what's best/what's right because it's his culture and he's been raised in this and doesn't know anything else, and how much is just. complete manipulation and toying with them all

PLUMP ELDER

(to Connie now) Say you learn that your partner can't part with even a fraction of his own comfort to give you what you need. And show that you're appreciated.

i really think they were trying to bait connie into joining them too, maybe it Wasn't completely decided whether connie or dani would become the next queen (since the number of sacrifices they needed would mean everyone was intended to die except one of the girls, and potentially one more since dani could have chosen to save christian) (though i think it's also very likely they fully expected her to choose him. between pelle drawing her away and christian being manipulated into cheating on her they definitely seemed to. not have his best interests in mind) (i dont like christian and i cant say how much of this was his choice and how much was the cult breaking him down too but still)

in the final version, christian barely spares a thought for it when he's asked to sleep with maja, he doesn't protest at all - it's possible he was scared, or still under drug influences, but he still doesn't say Anything against it, but interestingly in this version he does hesitate at least a little, and it's also revealed that pelle had already planted the idea in maja's head and told her about christian before all of this - so his hinting about christian impregnating swedish women probably was self aware

SIV

You have been approved to mate with her. You're an ideal astrological match and she has fallen in love with you.

CHRISTIAN

We haven't even spoken.

SIV

She fell in love with you before you came. Pelle showed her a photo.

CHRISTIAN

(pause) I have someone here with me. I'm with Dani.

like he still goes through with it, but he seems way more reluctant and actually does stop to think about dani

anyway. i think thats all i have

[sparklingpax]

THIS JUST IN IVE DISCOVERED THIS THING & IM GOING MAKE YOU ALL AWARE OF THE CHAOS THAT IS THIS PROMOTIONAL POSTER, HOLY SHIT 💀✨

OK FIRST OFF, MY SMALL HEART,

This basically says, either "Our (or actually, given the lack of a possessive particle,) We Are [a] Cybertron[ian] Family!" SO IN SUMMARY, FOUND FAMILY FOR THE FUCKING WIN YALL

Next up, outfits. As in,,,,,WH??? HUH 💀

aside from the fact that he looks so entirely dead inside, shoutout to Cloudburst for pulling the most Cloudburst move ever here, and not wearing something different than his usual outfit lmfaooo 💀

The heads-up in their groupchat from Hawk including like a "pls dress casual but nice" and Cloudburst either doesnt read the text or just straight-up decides it's too much effort to actually put on another outfit sooooooo.....they better be ok with what he's wearing now LOL

Anyways, next up, Waverider & Landmine, starting with Landmine lowkey stealing Waverider's hoodie look ajsdnjssj

It's like the "can I copy ur homework" meme 💀💀💀 But props to him, he did pull it off! the black shirt is a nice combination with that shade of blue 😌👀 meanwhile Waverider:

IT COULD BE A DECENT ALBEIT SLIGHTLY ODD LOOK FOR HIM BUT WHY IS HE DRAWN LIKE THAT. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM 💀 HIS EYES???

"beloved cabbage, i will be gentle with my knife"

Moving on,

..............more coming later on whether I think the sweater (turtleneck??? But like material-wise, kinda same difference idk) he is wearing under this sweater (is it not just me who finds that so extra jdjsjs in the middle of what looks like literally Summer 💀💀) is:

A.) long-sleeve

B.) short-sleeve

C.) sleeveless 🫣

comment now to vote

I will say I really like the idea anyway?? and Hawk wears it well~ those colors compliment him ngl 👀✨😌👏

OH YEA AND WOOO NEW RECORD FOR EVERYINE WEARING NEW OUTFITS WE LOVE TO SEE IT 😭✨

And I cant add another image because stupid image limit, but I wanted to add that it's slightly funny how Shuta always has outfits that are....normal but also weird atst? Not a bad thing, of course but like,,,lmfao *remembers that one time he had a blue fedora and pointy sunglasses over an outfit consisting of blue and white....with a suit and all......odd look sdjdjdsj*

Next up, this blurb here!

-Phoenix (Cloudburst) and "the others" are in an "outside country" and "came to Japan to play" which (perhaps randomly) got me thinking about whether Hawk specifically and in regards to Japan, where he's been for ages at this point (but more all of them I guess)--could be considered a part of the countries they've been stationed in or are considered foreigners no matter what. Legal stuff aside, obviously they're citizens in their countries with all the right paperwork and such; they have jobs and function in normal society, how could they not. But....they are from another planet so it begs the question whether or not they can be considered foreigners or of that country--technically speaking they don't really belong to any nationality too...? I guess that's why the wording of "in an outside country" "came to Japan" was used....and Idk if I'm wording this right but that sentence got me thinking about that. Maybe as a tangent. 👀

It's mainly a description of what's going on, "on a day where the weather is nice, cab is together with the pretenders and the three headmaster jrs in front of his hut," (first sentence) and so I'm only 80% sure of my translation abilities here but I'll point out a couple things anyway:

-"Today is a lovely Sunday" I just like this. They're giving. Today is a good day. Always love that for them 😌

-theyre having a garden party (it literally says "garden party" in katakana). But...in a FOREST? Is it even still a garden party anymore??? Can you have a garden party in a non-garden?? I think I'm missing the point here but uH help?????????? (/j don't take this super seriously dhshsjsj)

-Cab was sent that huge heap of "delicious fruit" from his island, Minerva's cooking her own stuff, I'm wondering if this meant there's two whole dishes being made of if this is a group effort 😹 maybe they're having a cook-off?? For funsies??? 👀

-it is Sunday. The fact that it is Sunday is listed twice on this poster actually, it's also written on the side in yellow, in a caption that reads "Cybertron's Sunday - Shuta's Diary" which in itself is interesting because no I'm wondering what the angle of this is specifically. Is this like, an entry in his diary or?? What is the perspective of this image now I mean sure I guess it's a promotional image that I shouldn't be analyzing to death like this but you don't need to tell me that and I still want answers

Alright next!!!! Another shout-out to the saddest-looking bottle of wine I have ever seen (complete with the crooked cork 😭💀)

-they are peacefully having fun.....literally says like it's a "fun time with the others in the quiet forest" and "a day of peace without fighting" and with an ellipsis AS THEY SHOULD OUHH IM SO HAPPY THEYRE VIBING LIKE THIS AAAA qwq 💗

-I guess I could translate the whole blurb but I think you get the idea: it's describing stuff that's happening, and that they're having a good time together....in their forest garden party.....I'm sorry I will never shut up about this

I--WHAT HAPPENED TO IT??? WHY IS THER AN EVEN SADDER DOODLE OF A WIME GLASS ON IT HJLEP 💀💀💀

"Ah yes, today I'm sharing one of my prized possessions, my favorite brand, "COU[indescribable scribble]" with an equally unreadable one and a half sentence description underneath. enjoy! ^^"

you best believe I didnt forget to notice the striking color of it because as you can see, Hawk is drinking some of it. Why is it SOLID, BRIGHT PINK. WINE DOESNT LOOK LIKE THAT?? I considered the possibility of it being energon, but....the wine bottle....especially looking at how much is gone and how much is in Hawk's glass....and how Landmine has a thing for wine and collecting it.....and also how in previous episodese they are all shown drinking actual alchohol.........yea but anyway, where the hell did this one come from--

///

So. In summary. This poster has a lot going on & it's admittedly kinda weird BUT YK WHAT THIS IS SUCH A RARE FIND AND I'M GONNA GO CRY BECAUSE LOOK AT ALL OF THEM BEING ALL HAPPY N STUFF THEY ARE A FAMILY & THIS IS WHOLESOME AND *loud sobbing* AAAA

Also if you read all of this I love you sm, please understand this was made with the energy from a lot of caffeine and not sleep so once again don't take this too seriously I am a little nuts and well?? Just thank you for caring about my dumbass ramblings while I procrastinate packing for an important thing I'm leaving for in literally a day sdkdsksdk

[rintarous]

try again — a. ryuunosuke

SYNOPSIS | realizing nothing has changed between you and your ex, you thought it would be better if you two would just try again.

GENRE | ex to lovers!au, fluff, angst??

A/N | first piece for bsd omfg im shaking fr,,, takes place around dead apple time lmfao hhhhhh kyoka doesnt exist in this sooo ur ability is demon snow???? fuck i hate this so much lmfao also p.p.s this is my gif teehee ++ ty mal for beta-reading this HAHAHHA i will now [rest] after posting this cs i am: shy good day

“hurry up and go!” you hissed at atsushi who was struggling to turn off the safety on his gun while you were trying to fend off demon snow. atsushi lets out a yelp as he fumbles with his gun. before atsushi could pull the trigger, demon snow was shoved away by no one other than your ex, akutagawa ryuunosuke. 

akutagawa stands up from the ground with a huff. “akutagawa!” atsushi exclaims, aiming his gun towards the boy. akutagawa clears his throat, making brief eye contact with you. you stared at him with an uneasy expression on your face. it has been awhile since you last saw the boy you once loved.

“what a pathetic weapon” akutagawa deadpans, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. “no pea shooter is going to have an effect on her” he emphasizes the last word, her, motioning to rashomon who seemed to have a mind of its own just like demon snow. just as rashomon struts in, you felt demon snow’s presence behind you.

before anyone could attack, the weretiger has pounced on rashomon, sending it to the other side of the street. “how amusing.” akutagawa comments, “let’s see who comes out on top” an amused smile on his face watching his ability take on his proclaimed enemy’s ability. 

“now isn’t the time for that!” atsushi interjects. as the two was about to start bickering in the middle of an ability battle, demon snow takes this chance to make a move on you. you easily blocked her katana with your knife just in time. 

“there should be a secret passage nearby for the mafia brass!” you managed to let out. akutagawa scowls, knowing you were right. “tsk. let’s go, jinko” he calls out to atsushi as he runs towards the restaurant. atsushi looked like he was deep in thought. whether or not to follow akutagawa or help you with fighting your own ability. 

“hey-” “just go! i’ll be there, i promise!” you cut him off, knowing how long he decides to make a decision. you manage to shove demon snow far back but she was quick on her feet. “all right..” atsushi then follows akutagawa. 

you bought yourself some time after sending demon snow flying. you immediately run towards the restaurant that had a secret passage and swiftly maneuver around the bar, barely managing to get inside the elevator and just before demon snow could get you, the doors closed. 

“phew” you huff, catching your breath. “tsk, how weak” you hear akutagawa comment. the air was thick and stuffy. it’s almost like you couldn’t breathe. it was pitch black in the box too, making the situation far more worse for you and akutagawa. you wanted to avoid him as soon as possible but with the given situation, you can’t. 

“this emergency passage was built in case for a gifted attack. the fog won’t reach us here” akutagawa states. hearing his voice again sorta made your heart ache. you truly missed him being around you at all times. 

“what is that fog?” atsushi asked. “dragon’s breath” you hear akutagawa reply.  you focused your attention on the buttons in front of you, not wanting to hear anything. trying to clear your head and getting a hold of yourself. you’re not gonna let some stupid boy change that. your mission is how to get your ability back and that was it. 

“y/n,” akutagawa calls. you felt your breath hitch hearing your name slip off his tongue like that. it felt like home to you almost. “with neither of us having abilities, you could finally kill me just like what you said that night” he says. emphasizing on the word ‘that’; reminding you of that painful night you’re sure you’ll never forget.

the night you two broke things off. the night you never thought would come in a million years. 

you didn’t utter a word and continued to stare at the buttons in front of you. akutagawa tilts his head to the side “what’s wrong?” he taunts. “don’t you have a score to settle with me?” his words laced in venom but you knew better. he was testing you. he was testing if you had the guts to kill him. 

atsushi scoffs, “y/n-chan doesn’t think of you anymore!” he butts in. akutagawa felt his heart drop when atsushi mentioned that. ‘have you moved on from me?’ was a question that asks himself repeatedly. his feeling of hurt instantly changed into anger. how dare this nobody speak for you.

“want to end this while we don’t have our abilities?” akutagawa challenges him. “stop right there” you interrupt the two boys, standing in between the two of them so they don’t start lashing out. you sent a look at atsushi before turning to akutagawa. “cut to the chase. do you know how to get our abilities back?” 

akutagawa lets out a chuckle. ‘what was so funny?’ you thought to yourself. “that’s the first thing you say to me in months?” he then clears his throat once more, “but yeah. i know a way” 

“what is it?” atsushi exclaims once more. “defeat the ability, it would come back to the owner” akutagawa shrugs. he looks at you then to atsushi, “are you that uninformed?” he rolls his eyes. you stare at his face for a bit. your heart racing as it seems like all your memories with him are crashing down on you. did you miss him this much? 

“what is your plan?” atsushi’s question bringing you back to reality. “the same as ours” you respond knowing akutagawa well. akutagawa hums, “i’m going to shred shibusawa’s organs and end his life” akutagawa swears. “why? is there any other way to save yokohama?” he asks the question towards atsushi. 

“we won’t kill!” atsushi declares. “that’s not what the armed detective agency does” he continued. akutagawa lets out a sarcastic laugh. “how funny.” he laughs, “you really are something, jinko” 

“y/n understands what this job is all about” akutagawa suddenly looks at you. you two make eye contact and for a second there, you see his eyes soften at the sight of you. you quickly look away to hide the blush that was now forming on your cheeks. “she’s a former port mafia, after all” he sighs, remembering his golden days shared with you.

“i left the mafia to see the light of day, we talked about this already” you spoke, “i left the mafia to join the agency” you take a deep breath before looking at atsushi dead in the eye. “but the mafia killings are different from the agency’s. there’s a difference” you say.

akutagawa can’t help but smirk a little at your statement. knowing you were at his side rather than his enemy and your colleague. “y/n-chan…” atsushi stares at you in disbelief. “this wouldn’t have happened if dazai-san didn’t join the enemy side” akutagawa claims, “i’ll be the one to kill him.”

atsushi yanks out his gun and aims it at akutagawa. you don’t know what came over you but in one swift move, you jumped right in front of your ex boyfriend, shielding him from atsushi. akutagawa stares at you for a moment. ‘you still haven’t changed one bit’ he thinks to himself.

“i’m not letting you kill dazai-san!” atsushi yells. “and i’m not letting you kill him either” you snap back at atsushi. “y/n-chan.. why?” atsushi questions. from behind, akutagawa smiles and he was almost ready to hug you right there. “just.. don’t kill him. that’s my job” you dismissed. 

before atsushi could say anything the elevator doors opened. akutagawa moves around you, not missing the chance to at least touch you in any shape possible. his touches still have that lingering feel to it and leaves you behind with atsushi in the elevator. “we’re not going with you” atsushi claims. 

akutagawa doesn’t say anything and walks towards more into the darkness. the elevator dings, ready to close the doors when you put your hand over it and rush to akutagawa. “i’m going with him” you tell atsushi. “eh?!” 

in the end atsushi tags along with you. you walked beside akutagawa with atsushi trailing behind you. “y/n-chan, why are you following him..” you hear atsushi dread . “it’s simple. he has information” you look back at atsushi, “he’s a powerful asset and we both have the same goal” you say, turning your attention to akutagawa. 

akutagawa watches you from his peripheral vision before noticing the familiar cellphone dangling on your neck. “you still have that cellphone your mother gave to you?” he asked. you don’t say anything and walked faster. “mother?” you hear atsushi ask.

akutagawa stops in his tracks and faces atsushi, “you haven’t even been told about that?” rolling his eyes, akutagawa turns his attention back to you. “oy, wait for me” he calls to you, picking up his pace to walk next to you. atsushi can only stare at the two of you with a million thoughts running in his head. 

“what was the shortest route again?” you ask akutagawa beside you. “0505” he answers back. you hummed and continued to walk beside him. “i see you still haven’t changed” akutagawa starts, “i figured you would be an entirely different person by now” he shrugs. you bit your lip, not knowing how to respond. “you’re still the same y/n i know” you hear him utter under his breath. 

“that’s cause i still have unfinished business with you” you blurt out. unable to hide the truth anymore. you wanted him back more than ever and meeting him again just proves it. 

akutagawa shuffles closer to you and grabs your hand. “when this fiasco is over, how about we try again?” he proposes quietly. only loud enough for you to hear. you squeezed his hand, a tiny gesture that means a thousand words and makes his heart race over and over again. 

[fansofvow]

im here to clear up some things.

edit: just scroll to the bottom for the tl;dr cause this is a lot but i think its necessary so it doesnt seem half assed or glossed over.

if you can’t tell by the perpetual lowercase here, its mod galen! i figured i should address the drama coming on here from a different perspective. no, this isn’t mod atlas dumping all her problems on me, she’s already tried talking abt it herself - its me deciding to speak up on my own accord after seeing the shitfest my dash has become.

keep in mind - i will be happy to discuss any of this with you guys civilly, but im not going to be kind to nasty anon hate. dm us, or just send us a polite ask, and we can sort things out! if we’ve done something ignorant, i promise you we will educate ourselves and apologise sincerely.

the galen thing

first and foremost - i saw some people saying its sus that i, an nb mod, was added to the blog right after the galen debacle. it was not to save face or hide behind me! ironically, the reason i got added now of all times was because mod atlas and i were discussing what was going on, i gave my thoughts on the matter, she asked me if id be interested in being a mod!

mod atlas then thanked me for my insight and educated her on the issue and figured it would be a good idea to actually have someone in the lgbt+ community on the blog - that way, these silly ignorant mistakes will not happen again. i wont let it happen. not to mention she’s getting pretty busy in her personal life so she thought itd be a good idea to bring someone else on board.

i believe that people can learn from their mistakes - i was also hurt by that misgendering galen post. i bitched about it too. but i saw that everyone involved apologised, genuinely didn’t mean it, and promised to do better. and i’ll hold them to that! but im not gonna start talking trash abt them on other peoples blogs just bc they made a rly ignorant post. if you’re cis, i really don’t want you speaking up on this matter anymore. its not your fight. youre not in the position to forgive nor condemn any of these people. trans folk, im not going to tell you that anyone deserves your forgiveness, that’s up to you, but what they do deserve is your decent respect. unless they say theyre blatantly against trans people - aka make a deliberately transphobic statement rather than one made out of pure ignorance - in that case, all bets are off lmfao. i dont take that shit lightly and ill come for you too.

to the person who made the misgendering galen post - you know who you are, i dont want to send you any more hate than you’ve already been getting so im not going to @ you, but please. reupload your apology about the post, cause i scrolled through your blog for ages and didn’t find it - if i didn’t see it reblogged on this blog, i wouldn’t have known you apologised. i wouldn’t have felt like your blog is a safe space for nonbinary folk. its important you own up to mistakes and keep the apology there.

the nahara thing

look. im poc. im also straight up sick and tired of lovestruck’s mistreatment of dark-skinned characters, especially black characters (why do half of them look like recoloured white people....?) like nahara. its important for our representation that she does well! that way, we can get more diverse li’s on our roster in the future instead of every skinny white person getting the spotlight and 9238428903 seasons. (i love you onyx and juliette, but what the fuck.)

that being said - i dont think what mod atlas said was that bad, especially considering it wasn’t here on fansofvow, the only thing reblogged onto here being her english lesson on galen’s route with a relieved comment abt how thats a series started right.

please understand - we’ve been afraid of the new characters’ routes ever since the strike. a lot of writers left, a lot are likely to be leaving, and we’re concerned about the status of the app. this wasn’t to shoot down nahara, but out of pure relief that we’re not seeing a downwards spike in the writing quality post-strike.

that being said - if you think nahara’s route is well written, and great - thats awesome! please give her all the love for us, cause we do want her to do well. she’s just not our cup of tea. can we please respect that instead of slamming this blog’s name? nahara is still doing well, im seeing hype for her everywhere- one or two negative opinions wont change that. we’re not even going to a leave a review in-app, which is the most important form of community feedback to lovestruck.

the posts have been deleted. please, give it a rest. keep loving nahara. quit the drama.

the nikolai’s route in school thing

all the students that saw the screenshots were 18+, and none of the examples were sexual in nature. teenagers get shown romeo and juliet in school, a play ending in a double suicide, but showing adults a few lines of good writing from a 17+ app is bad? its not like she showed them a scene from a straight up porno, its just a story that happens to have sexual themes in it. its up to the students whether they read the whole story or not, and they’re mature enough to handle it. that’s all im going to say abt the matter, cause im no teacher,

and lastly...

i see a lot of people saying that we, fansofvow, need to “set an example” cause we think we’re a “fandom leader” or somehow think we’re on some high horse cause of clout? i have no idea where this started because ik for a fact mod atlas has never referred to herself as a “fandom leader” or anything like that, and guys, we’re not that up ourselves. we don’t even have tons of followers! we’re just doing our thing to support VOW. please don’t put words in our mouths.

with all that out of the way, i hope we can move on and make the community a happier place for everyone.

-mod galen

tl;dr: people make ignorant mistakes sometimes. mod atlas has apologised for reblogging the post abt misgendering galen, wants nahara to do well, only showed non-sexual writing examples of nikolai to 18+ students and never called herself a “fandom leader.”

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[scenarihoes]

Hey there!! Can I request some Haikyuu!? Maybe relationship headcanons for Tsukishima and Kageyama sfw and nsfw? Tysm! And have a lovely day

im jus gonna do SFW cuz im kinda eeehhh abt my NSFW skills rn but i will come back to the nsfw stuff another time. i promise they will see the light of day

relationship headcanons!

tsukishima!

tukishima is honestly one of those boyfriends that you love dearly, but sometimes you just… fantasize about tripping him while he’s walking by. you never do it but, who knows. one day you might be stretching just as him and his long ass legs are strolling on by. you thought that maybe when you guys were Official ™ he’d chill out but, no. my apologies. he’s still same old somewhat irritating tsukishima. he’s never outright mean to you but that smugness never fades. if anything it kinda get’s worse because he knows you like him, chose to like him, enough to stay. 

congratulations. tsukishima has now been diagnosed with terminal ‘little shit’ disorder. 

this sucks but he’s hot and cold at times :/ he gets moody really quickly if something kills his vibes- even if that ‘something’ doesn’t really exist. this can include things as big as family issues, down to little things like the weather. he doesnt like the rain :(

tsukishima tries not to take this out on you but he can’t help but be dismissive when he’s not feeling the fun anymore. like, for example, if you showed him something on your phone that normally he’d be interested in, he might just blankly stare at him for a few seconds before going, ‘ah. that’s pretty cool.’

when he’s like this he wont answer your texts, which is annoying because he doesn’t have the courtesy to turn ‘invisible’ or even present himself offline. he’s very clearly active but just doesn’t answer any messages because personal convos are too exhausting. however, if you call him, he will pick up every time.

on the flipside, though, just like he gets into sour-ish moods, he also gets weirdly affectionate now and then. it’s not snuggly uwu adorable affection, but he just, can’t leave you alone? he keeps you close asf, slings an arm around you, doesn’t stop with jokes or random shit. he literally doesn’t shut up sometimes, and he’ll spam you with memes or anything (anything) that reminds him of you. 

this ones more subtle but you can always tell when he’s getting into a lovey mood because mid conversation he’ll just call you and be like “its easier to talk than text” but in reality he just wanted to hear ur voice

when you’re sad he’s not that great at handling it, but he needs to do something. he can’t stand when you’re sad because you’re no fun and also you’re his baby wtf you can’t be sad at all ever. What The Fuck. be happy right now

if you’re with him he lets you vent, listens and tries to apply with little advice he has where he can. his responses are usually telling you that you need to get out of your own head, and fuck whatevers bothering you. now, say if your upset about minor, if he’s texting you, he’ll call you in the hopes that it’ll help you out. he offers to come see you, to take you out somewhere. if you don’t pick up the phone he spams you pictures of your favorite thing followed by texts that say ‘answer the phoooooooone stop being sad’

he… he tries his best. no one ever said tsukishima was a master at feelings. 

he’s one of those guys where when you two get together, it spreads as a rumor. no one takes it seriously but they still pass it around like, ‘hey did you hear tsukki and that one person are going out? totally not true.’ half of the ppl cant imagine someone being able to stand him, the other half cant imagine him finding someone he is ABLE to stand (other than yams of course).

when you two are dating #confirmed no one saw it coming, even despite the rumors. love it. bonus points if you’re the more bouncy/happy/optimistic type LOL

protective affff. wants to be subtle but hes kinda mean about it sometimes. hes not mean to you, because he has eternal trust in you. he selectively chose you, after all. you passed all his little tests, you captured his cold heart. of course he trusts you. however he does not, and will not, trust anyone else in the world. literally the only person he’s cool with you being around are your closest friends and his yamaguchi. thats it. 

he’s not barring you from having friends. he knows you need your friends and your people, and hes to be cool about that (unless someone REALLY bothers him). he accepts hes not the only person in your life, but really he’d prefer no one breathed around you at all, ever. please and thanks. yamaguchi show them the door.

_____

kageyama!

kageyama is so awkward at first LMFAO. he’ll bump hands with you and be like pll;eelase but on the outside he mostly just looks constipated :( he’s so touch starved and doesn’t know how to ask for it literally at all

kinda works to your benefit, though :} every single time you touch him he acts like its the first time. he internally freaks out. you’ve held hands a thousand times yet he’s still like !!!!!!!! when you interlock yours and his fingers. if he initiates it, he stares at the ground and burns red. he cant take it. 

literally cannot handle PDA. so fucking cute. it isn’t that he doesn’t like it- he loves the idea. aw :) him and his baby :) how cute :) but then god forbid you kiss him on the cheek and suddenly he cant breathe his teammates are right there and staring at him and hHhhh\HHhh EVERY ONE CAN SEE

behind closed doors he loooves getting kisses, but freaks himself out in regards to kissing you himself. hes a baby, he gets scared. it takes a lot of courage to do something like that, even when no one can see. you can see.

this doesn’t apply if he’s sleepy. if hes sleepy, it’s over for you. he turns into such a big cuddle bug and he tries to get as close to you as possible, too tired to care that he’s being awfully brash when he slings himself over your body like a moth to a flame, snoring in your ear and melting you with his body heat.

hes super attentive to your interests. like– scary attentive. he knows how much volleyball means to him. other than you, now, it’s his world. it means so much to him, so when he discovers your thing, the volleyball in your heart, he goes into hyper drive. he wants to learn that thing right now because if its important to you than it’s important to him, no matter what it is. you will have this boy sewing, painting, working out with you, anything. he’ll make friendship bracelets, fuck it. if it’s important to you than its important to him. 

in return though he does expect that same treatment even if he doesn’t outright admit it. he wants to bond with you so bad and if he got to do that while playing his favorite sport, training, he’s all in. heaven, bliss. he’ll be on cloud 9 just please throw him the ball 

anything that his, is yours. this goes for coats, this goes for drinks and snacks. cold? take my coat. hungry? i just so happen to have an apple on hand. crazy. 

when he’s at the vending machine he always makes sure to get you something but the first time he does it he stresses himself out so bad LOL he wants to get you something you'll like so he stands there for ten minutes just deciding. when you go looking for him you find him disgruntled, forehead against the machine, muttering to himself ‘what do i buy what do i buy what do i buy’

when you tell him what you want, you’d better make sure you chose right the first time. this is because that kageyama, of course, is a man of habit. he likes his routine, he doesn’t shake much stuff up unless it’s forced upon him. so, after you made your choice, he sticks with that to the grave. orange juice? enjoy it every single day for lunch even if you brought your own. enjoy it with dinner. enjoy it with breakfast. if he has something, you have something. every single time. 

unless you go out of your way to specify you want something else he will just keep going. hints and subtleties does not work for him. if you asked for orange juice and two months later mentioned how you were craving apple juice so bad, too bad. orange juice. shoulda asked for apples. drink up.

actually i take it half-way back. this does NOT include milk. if you breathe the word milk, that’s what you’re gonna get. fuck he loves milk so much and you can both enjoy it together, its his dream.

[solcheeky]

break a leg arm

summary: mark breaks his arm and a cast is all he needs as an excuse to get you to do everything for him

warnings: mature content insinuated, strong language

a/n: I literally went thru a heck load of his tweets to see what he was like through text lmfao also this is a remake! insp from sheep

-

[1 Missed Call] broccoli johnny 8:56PM

[New Message] from broccoli johnny 9:00PM, hey

[broccoli johnny] 9:00PM, I know its kind of late but

[broccoli johnny] 9:01PM, mark’s in the ER right now, you busy?

[you] 9:05PM, wtf

[you] 9:05PM, where

[you] 9:05PM, why

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, nothing serious dw

[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, we’re in seoul national

[you] 9:07PM, okay im coming

[broccoli johnny] 9:07PM, mind coming over?

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, oh

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, lol cool cool

[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, just text me when you get here :-)

[you] 9:34PM, I’m here where are you?

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, hold on

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, jae cant get his drink out of the vending machine

[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, we’ll meet u in the lobby in a sec

[you] 9:36PM, jaehyun you are a grown man

[broccoli johnny] 9:36PM, jae said hes not going to share his drink with you now

-

[New Message] from lioncub 11:45PM, Sorry for making you worry haha and thank you for coming over so fast

[lioncub] 11:45PM, You home ssfe yet?

[lioncub] 11:45PM, *Safe

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Damn this whole cast on my arm thing is really getting in the way haha

[you] 11:46PM, always<3 and yea I am :) you?

[lioncub] 11:46PM, Yeah, everyone’s in bed. Johnjae’s about to leave

[you] 11:46PM, nice

[you] 11:47PM, tell jaehyun that I hope he falls over

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Woah hahahaha

[lioncub] 11:48PM, Is this because he didn’t share his drink with you?

[you] 11:48PM, it was the last one left >:( and the traitor drank it all >:((

[lioncub] 11:50PM, Haha

[you] 11:50PM, >:(

[lioncub] 11:51PM, You’re so cute 

[you] 11:51PM, wow you type so slow

[lioncub] 11:51PM, I brokr my ar, !!!

[you] 11:51PM, yikes

[lioncub] 11:52PM, Dude dp you want me to type fast or not?

[you] 11:52PM, you’ll make mistakes either way👀

[lioncub] 11:52PM, *Do

[lioncub] 11:53PM, Hahaha very funny lool

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Come on babr

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Basbr 

[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Babve

[lioncub] 11:54PM, Damn. *babe

[you] 11:54PM, just. don’t text me anymore . 

[lioncub] 11:55PM, Wait what !!!!!

[lioncub] 11:55PM, But my cast wont br off for weeks!!

[lioncub] 11:56PM, Babe !

[lioncub] 11:56PM, D: !!

[you] 11:56PM, I meant that like..... ‘call me’ you dummy

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oh

[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oops 

[Incoming Call] lioncub 11:58PM

-

[New Message] from marks arm 1:12PM, They left me at home :/

[marks arm] 1:12PM, All alone

[marks arm] 1:13PM, And I’m bored :/

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Bee

[marks arm] 1:13PM, Oh

[marks arm] 1:14PM, Are

[marks arm] 1:14PM, D

[marks arm] 1:14PM, b o r e d

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe?

[marks arm] 1:15PM, Ba b e

[Missed Video Call] marks arm 1:17PM

[you] 1:21PM, oh shit sory just came out yhe shower

[marks arm] 1:22PM, Oh lool sorry

[marks arm] 1:22PM, You going out somewhere?

[marks arm] 1:23PM, OH are you coming over? :0

[you] 1:23PM, huh? no

[you] 1:23PM, lmfao gotta go to the supermarket

[marks arm] 1:24PM, Is that code for my dorm?

[you] 1:24PM, uh

[you] 1:24PM, what

[marks arm] 1:25PM, Super-MARK-et

[marks arm] 1:25PM, 😏😏😏 

[you] 1:25PM, …………

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Dude. You can’t tell me that wanst funny

[you] 1:26PM, …………………… 

[marks arm] 1:26PM, Comn on man. That was pretty funny!!!

[marks arm] 1:27PM, *Wasn’t *Come

[marks arm] 1:27PM, 😏😏😏 ???

[you] 1:27PM, I’m not coming over just because you made a ‘good’ joke

[marks arm] 1:28PM, Hahahahaha! babe please!!

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I’m so fucking bored~

[marks arm] 1:28PM, I have thid dumbass cast on now and the boys wont be back till waaayy later

[marks arm] 1:29PM, *This

[marks arm] 1:30PM, It’s not like I can take the cast off. But you can keep me company!!

[marks arm] 1:30PM, Pretty please🥺

[you] 1:30PM, but I gotta go shop D:

[marks arm] 1:31PM, Oh right. yeah lol

[marks arm] 1:31PM, but you can come over after?😏

[you] 1:31PM, hmmmmmm

[marks arm] 1:32PM, No one’s home😏 and

[marks arm]1:32PM, and Iwanttohugyou

[marks arm] 1:33PM, Plus I promise I won’t hug you with my casr haha

[marks arm] 1:33PM, *Cast

[you] 1:33PM, cute

[marks arm] 1:34PM, Did.. Did you not just hear what I said?

[marks arm] 1:34PM, No one’s home !!!

[you] 1:35PM, fine :[

[you] 1:35PM, but after I shop :>

[marks arm] 1:36PM, Alright nice haha. After you shop. Got it !

[New Message] from marks arm 1:45PM, Can you get me snacks??

[marks arm] 1:49PM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!

-

[you] 8:03PM, can’t believe I bought you snacks for that

[marks arm] 8:04PM, It was the cast!! I swear !!

[marks arm] 8:04PM, You weren’t the only one uncomfortable >:( I can’t hold myself up over you when my arm is broken lool

[you] 8:05PM, I’m taking your lap next time🙄

[marks arm] 8:05PM, Oh woah

[you] 8:06PM, ‘woah’ what?

[marks arm] 8:06PM, :0

[marks arm] 8:06PM, Woah nothing. Hahahaha

[you] 8:06PM, okay well,,, save your lap for me next time

[marks arm] 8:07PM, lol okay

[marks arm] 8:07PM, Next time.

[marks arm] 8:07PM, I like that

-

[New Message] from marker 2:20AM, You awake?

[you] 2:21AM, no

[marker] 2:21AM, Oh okay nevermind then

[you] 2:22AM, …

[you] 2:22AM, uh mark

[marker] 2:23AM, Wait a minute

[you] 2:23AM, there we go😂😂

[marker] 2:23AM, ;/

[you] 2:23AM, LOL whats up? its 2am🤔dont you have to go studio in the morning🤔

[marker] 2:24AM, Yeah :/ but my arm hurts ;/

[you] 2:24AM, badly?

[marker] 2:25AM, Mhm :(

[marker] 2:25AM, I cant sleep :(( it hurts :/ like actually really hurts

[you] 2:25AM, lemme get back to you in 7 years after I get my doctors licence

[marker] 2:26AM, Hahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:26AM, Can you get back to me in 3secs as my bestfriend instead?

[you] 2:26AM, touché

[marker] 2:26AM, Haha

[marker] 2:27AM, Let me video call you?

[you] 2:27AM, doyoung is asleep though

[marker] 2:27AM, Yeaahh

[marker] 2:28AM, But I wantf to see you :(

[you] 2:28AM, you saw me today ?

[marker] 2:28AM, It wasnt enough :(

[you] 2:29AM, are you okay??

[marker] 2:29AM, Yeah! I am! I just

[marker] 2:29AM, idk

[marker] 2:29AM, Seeing you makesd me feel better

[you] 2:29AM, cute

[marker] 2:29AM, Shutup man

[marker] 2:30AM, Just let me call youuu

[you] 2:30AM, hm

[you] 2:31AM, fine

[you] 2:31AM, this is my way of making up for my lack of a doctors licence

[marker] 2:31AM, hahahahahahahaha

[marker] 2:31AM, I’m gonna wake up doyoung laughing like this

[you] 2:32AM, lmao pls dont blame me when he whoops your ass in the morning

[marker] 2:32AM, I wont :)

[Incoming Call] marks arm 2:33AM

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[doyoung]: Mark looks like a sardine that was left to dry out in the sun for 12 days

[marker]: Hey man

[marker]: Thats just mean

[fullsun]: not mean, just the truth💅🏼

[doyoung]: It’s because he was up all night talking to you know who👀

[mr peach]: exposed

[you]: mark you said doyoung was a heavy sleeper

[doyoung]: He lied.

[marker]: We werent that loud man

[nakamoto]: I could hear mark from my bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: *our bedroom

[let’s winwin!]: and no we couldn’t

[nakamoto]: I did👀

[broccolli johnny]: all yuta does is lie lmfao

[marker]: How??!!?

[marker]: Your bedroom is upstairs!!!

[junguwu]: ? I couldnt hear them ??? and I’m next door

[nakamoto]: if I was upstairs then explain to me how I heard y/n complaining about how mark farts too much🤔🤔🤔

[marker]: Oh my god

[broccoli johnny]: LMFAAAOO

[junguwu]: HAHAH HAHAHAHAH

[mr peach]: this again LOL

[you]: I still can’t believe they let you talk about marks farts in your tmi vids

[oldman]: 😂😂😂😂😂oh no

[fullsun]: the dried sardine has got some explaining to do👀

[marker]: Dude its not true!!! I swear !!!!!!

[you]: a little bit true

[doyoung]: ✋also a witness

[marker]: >:0

[marker]: Fucking betrayers!!!!!!!

[marker]: Johnny tell them its not true !!!

[broccoli johnny]: my hands are tied bro🤗

[marker]: whAT

[marker]: Jaehyun?!

[mr peach]: its not true.

[doyoung]: Way to sound believable🙄

[nakamoto]: word on the street y/n is tired of mark never saying sorry or excusing himself from farting🤧

[marker]: You guys are just big bullies man

[marker]: Sicheng man you’re the only one I have left😭

[let’s winwin!]: lol no

[fullsun]: yuta may be lying about hearing yall last night but👀

[fullsun]: the fart thing is true👀

[nakamoto]: i rest my case

[broccoli johnny]: one day mark is gonna fart and it’ll poison you all

[nakamoto]: I heard hes poisoned a couple of people already🧐

[marker]: DUDE

-

[New Message] from mark LEE 10:11AM, Hey can I ask you something?

[you] 10:12AM, sure whats up?

[you] 10:12AM, you okay?

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, So um ;//

[mark LEE] 10:13AM, My farts dont annoy you do they?

[you] 10:14AM, LOL mARK

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, What ?! what!!!!

[mark LEE] 10:14AM, I’m serious!!!

[you] 10:15AM, its been like 3 days since that conversation

[mark LEE] 10:15AM, And I havent been able to fart in front of you since!!

[you] 10:15AM, LMAAOOO MARKKKK

[mark LEE] 10:16AM, Babe I’m deadass!!!

[you] 10:16AM, yuta was just joking stupid

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, :/

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, I know

[mark LEE] 10:17AM, But

[you] 10:18AM, but?

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, I fart

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, like

[mark LEE] 10:18AM, a lot

[you] 10:19AM, omg mark

[you] 10:19AM, it doesnt matter!! I think its cute

[mark LEE] 10:19AM, What?!

[you] 10:19AM, when you fart youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you sneeze youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, when you talk youre cute

[you] 10:20AM, even when you just breathe youre fucking cute

[you] 10:20AM, I dont care about your farts

[mark LEE] 10:21AM, You’re weird

[you] 10:21AM, ask the groupchat if you dont believe me

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]

[marker]: Anyways guys

[junguwu]: ya

[marker]: Am I cute?

[fullsun]: no

-

[New Message] from cute idiot 9:37PM, Where are you?

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, Babe

[cute idiot] 9:37PM, The bath is gonna get cold man

[you] 9:40PM, we got a problem

[cute idiot] 9:40PM, What? No lighter? Not even matchsticks?

[you] 9:40PM, johnjae are here

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, !???!?!?!?!!!

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, whAT

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Like in the dorm here?!?!??

[you] 9:41PM, yea you dummy

[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Shit whAT

[you] 9:42PM, wtf happened to ‘no one is coming home till late today’ !???!!

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR OMG

[cute idiot] 9:42PM, wHAT DID U SAY TO THEM

[you] 9:43PM, I look like a psycho mark

[cute idiot] 9:43PM, tHATS WHAT YOU SAID?

[you] 9:43PM, nO

[you] 9:44PM, they caught me… in the kitchen…. going through the drawers

[you] 9:44PM, with just your tshirt on…

[you] 9:44PM, my hair is wet af mark

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, oh god

[you] 9:45PM, how was i supposed to explain myself ?!

[you] 9:45PM, tell them my hair is wet because I just climbed out of the bath i was sharing with their roommate ?!!?

[you] 9:45PM, tell them i needed something to light the candles beside the fucking bubble bath ?!??

[cute idiot] 9:45PM, Shit shit shit

[you] 9:46PM, and all because you couldnt get out of the tub without injuring your broken-arm ??!

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my gof

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Please tell me that is not what you said

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:46PM, This is so embarrassing

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Dude

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Why arnet you answering?!?!

[cute idiot] 9:47PM, What the fuc do I do

[you] 9:48PM, hold on theyre talking to me

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, I’m freakinghout

[you] 9:48PM, apparently theyre back early because they need to go prerecord nct nightnight

[you] 9:48PM, johnny needed to pick something up on the way

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Oh god

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Whdt do I do?!

[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Do I getr out!?

[you] 9:49PM, told them you were showering

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Okay I’m turning on the shower

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, You know

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, For soubnd effects

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit man shitr

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wait

[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wb you?!

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, You didn’t dry yourself. Dude you didn’t even bring a towel

[cute idiot] 9:50PM, Hwo you gonna explain

[you] 9:51PM, told them your dumbass slipped

[you] 9:51PM, and I had to help you because of your arm

[you] 9:51PM, wait brb

[cute idiot] 9:51PM, Nooo dont brb me

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, I feel exposed now

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, Oh my god

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the worst

[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the WORST 

[cute idiot] 9:53PM, Babe?

[you] 9:57PM, okay theyre gone😪😪

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Thank god

[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Did they believe you?

[you] 9:58PM, I fucking hope so

[you] 9:58PM, I’m coming back

[cute idiot] 9:58PM, Be quick ;/ I kinda made a mess

-

[[foreign swaggers💯💯💯]]

[sexy boi ten]: just out of curiosity🧐

[sexy boi ten]: who here loves bubble baths?

[johns banana]: hmmmmmm idk man🤔 good question🤔

[jeffrey]: 😂😂😂

[kark]: Oh my god

[sexy boi ten]: I think one of us is a bubble bath enthusiast

[sexy boi ten]: but I just cant put my finger on it🧐

[kark]: Can’t believe you told ten

[johns banana]: told him what🤔🤔

[kark]: Don’t lie to me bro

[sexy boi ten]: i think youre the only one lying here

[kark]: 😨😨😨

[kark]: Jaehyun please help me

[jeffrey]: I heard there were candles

[kark]: 😧

[johns banana]: candles ?! 🤔 oh gasp🤧

[sexy boi ten]: so this is what you get up to when no ones around

[kark]: hahahaha noooo

[kark]: youre making it sound super weird man !!

[jeffrey]: lmfaaooo

[sexy boi ten]: this whole broken limb thing doesnt seem so bad now

[kark]: we didnt /do/ anything

[sexy boi ten]: why?😏 were you supposed have done something? 😏😏

[kark]: hahaha oh my god

[johns banana]: what are you tryna say mark🤗

[kark]: dude !!!!!!!

[kark]: youre all making this way weirder than it already is man

[jeffrey]: arent you the one making it weird?

[sexy boi ten]: johnny break my arm so i can get a bubble bath

[johns banana]: you dont have a girlfriend

[sexy boi ten]: i know

[sexy boi ten]: but i could have a boyfriend

[jeffrey]: you dont have a boyfriend either

[sexy boi ten]: then can you run me a bubble bath instead😘😘😘😘

[kark]: what

[johns banana]: depends… do I get to join

[kark]: wHAT

[johns banana]: I’ll be the mark to your y/n

[jeffrey]: this is going in my TMI

-

[New Message] from marks arm 4:15PM, They keep teasing me about the bath thing

[you] 4:15PM, so no more baths together?

[marks arm] 4:16PM, I didn’t say that........

-

[New Message] from bunny doyoung 6:47PM, Change of plans

[bunny doyoung] 6:47PM, He’s already on the way to yours

[you] 6:48PM, what?!

[you] 6:48PM, I was about to leave

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Sorry I couldnt stop him

[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Said there’s too many of us in the dorm at the moment lmao

[bunny doyoung] 6:50PM, He’s such a kid

[you] 6:50PM, ffs mark

[you] 6:51PM, thanks do

[bunny doyoung] 6:51PM, Of course

-

[you] 6:53PM, mark wth

[you] 6:53PM, doyoung said youre coming here

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, Sorry baby

[marks eggs] 6:55PM, It’s way too hectic back there

[you] 6:56PM, you know I dont mind

[marks eggs] 6:56PM, I do this time

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I want alone time with you

[you] 6:57PM, but I made food for the boys

[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I’ll eat it all :)

[you] 6:58PM, marrrrrkk

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Too late I’m outside

[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Open up

-

[New Message] ty track 1:00AM, He’s not coming back tonight is he?

[you] 1:01AM, defo not

[you] 1:01AM, hes asleep on my lap atm

[ty track] 1:02AM, Sigh

[ty track] 1:02AM, Fine, make sure he wakes up early

[ty track] 1:03AM, He has to be back by 7am, we have a shoot in the morning

[you] 1:03AM, okay sure thing

[ty track] 1:03AM, Get some rest too

[you] 1:04AM, thanks tae you too💚

[ty track] 1:04AM, Goodnight💚

[you] 1:05AM, night :)

-

[[dreamies but not rlly]]

[pudu]: what time did you say you were going to come over again?

[you]: before 10 why?

[pudu]: because marks trying to break up renjun and jaemin from wrestling

[pudu]: with one arm

[jenojam]: is that what all that yelling is?

[you]: hyuck

[you]: why are you texting me when you can help him out

[pudu]: y/n thats a dumb question and you know it

[dolphinle]: such a dumb question

[you]: why arent any of you doing anything????????

[pudu]: why dont you just come over sooner ^^

[you]: hyuck I cant I’m running errands atm

[dolphinle]: see y/n is running errands hyung

[you]: thanks chenle

[pudu]: shutup chenle

[you]: wheres jisung

[jisung park]: staying out of the mess

[you]: good.

[you]: one less dreamie to worry about

[jisung park]: youre welcome

[pudu]: okay they stopped play fighting :/

[jenojam]: because mark says his arm hurts

[you]: you guys are the worst

[pudu]: *best

[moomin]: you guys are snitches

[dolphinle]: and snitches get stitches

[jaemin<3]: renjun broke my neck

[moomin]: did not

[moomin]: your stupid neck happened to fall into my hands

[pudu]: LMAOO

[jaemin<3]: :0 can u believe this

[you]: is mark okay?

[jenojam]: no

[mark sucks]: Yes

[mark sucks]: hahahaha just carry on with your errands and come at 10 I have this unser contrl

[mark sucks]: *Under

[mark sucks]: *Control

[pudu]: HAHA what lies

[jisung park]: hyung doesnt have anything under control

[jaemin<3]: youre not going to ask if I’m okay? :(

[moomin]:  jaemin ur still breathing right?

[moomin]: yea thats what I thought

[dolphinle]: ye thats what he thought

[jaemin<3]: I didnt even say anything yet!!

[pudu]: LMFAAOO

[you]: jeno help

[jenojam]: je-no thank you

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[tytrack]: well then who was it?

[nakamoto]: I think johnny was the last one to use the vacuum

[marker]: Babe can you pick up a box on the way ;/ we ranm out lastr night

[nakamoto]: .................

[fullsun]: well okay. this was fun. g2g. forever. ✌️✌️✌️

[doyoung]: Only mark would do this.

[nakamoto]: 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[doyoung]: Seriously only mark.

[marker]: Shit!!!

[marker]: Fucvbk man

[you]: wrong chat you fat loser

-

[canada mark] 7:00PM, Shit baby I’m so soryr

[you] 7:00PM, you’re the biggest dummy😂😂😂

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[junguwu]: a box of what?

[tytrack]: what the fuck mark

[junguwu]: oh

[marker]: Dude I didn’t mean to!!! 

[broccoli johnny]: this is why he left the dorm so quick lmfao

[marker]: Baby I’m so so so sorry I’ll make it up for you tonight

[junguwu]: :0

-

[you] 7:05PM, wRONG CHAT AGAIN STUPID

[canada mark] 7:05PM, FCUK

-

[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]] 

[nakamoto]: jc mark🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[fullsun]: can we push the gc name into full gear now?

[fullsun]: it’s no longer a joke. 

[marker]: IM IN SO MANY GROUPCHATS ITS HARD OKAY

-

[you] 7:07PM, you’re lucky you have a broken arm or else 

[canada mark] 7:08PM, Dude I’m so sorry. Like really.

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I was rushing in case you left the store already ;/ sorry :(

[canada mark] 7:08PM, I’ll do whatever you want ! promise.

[you] 7:09PM, you can barely do anything with that broken arm stupid

[you] 7:09PM, its okay😂 

[canada mark] 7:09PM, Really?

[you] 7:10PM, lets just say you owe me one 

‘you changed [canada mark] to [stupid mark]’

[stupid mark] 7:11PM, Yeah okay. I deserve that one.

- 

[New Message] from stupid mark 7:24AM, Can I call you?

[stupid mark] 7:24AM, I seriously hate texting ;/

[you] 7:25AM, is it because of the wrong groupchat thing or your cast?

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, ......both lol

[you] 7:25AM, okay but I’m in bed bby its so early

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Perfect!! then you don’t have to move ! 

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Just close your eyes and talk to me :^)

[you] 7:26AM, you can talk to everyone else whos awake :^)

[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Everyones getting their hair done and stuff

[stupid mark] 7:26AM, And I’m handicapped let me call you.

[you] 7:26AM, wooooow ‘handicapped’ you can’t text me

[Incoming Video Call] stupid mark 7:26PM

[stupid mark] 7:2APM, Pick up!! please!!

- 

[New Message] from sore loser 11:20PM, :((((

[you] 11:21PM, mark? 

[you] 11:21PM, whats wrong?

[sore loser] 11:22PM, Do you want to come with me to the doctors get my cast off tomorrow? 

[you] 11:22PM, huh????

[you] 11:22PM, I mean yeah sure but

[you] 11:22PM, whats with the sad face?

[sore loser] 11:23PM, No! I’m happy! but sad ;/

[sore loser] 11:23PM, I get to be on stage again but ;( I can’t play damsel in distress anymore haha

[sore loser] 11:23PM, If I call you over, you’ll still come right?

[you] 11:24PM, depends.........

[sore loser] 11:24PM, See!! 

[you] 11:24PM, I’m just kidding lmao

[sore loser] 11:24PM, Oh

[sore loser] 11:24PM, So... You’ll still shampoo my hair sometimes? ;/ or like sit on my lap,,and stuff ;/// ??

[you] 11:25PM, you know I’ll do all those things regardless whether your arm is broken or not

[sore loser] 11:25PM, You’re the best 

[you] 11:25PM, plus you still owe me one :^)

[sore loser] 11:25PM, Oh yeah! I do !!

‘you changed [sore loser] to [<3]’

[<3] 11:26PM, Hahaha cute

[<3] 11:26PM, Okay :))))

[<3] 11:26PM, I’ll give you what I owe you tomorrow after we go doctors ;) <3

[you] 11:27PM, perfect

[<3] 11:27PM, Yeah, perfect :))

-

[New Message] from <3 9:34AM, Yeah, oops. Not so perfect..... omg I’m sorry

[you] 9:34AM, yeah your arm is like jelly its weird

[<3] 9:34AM, Hahahahaha

[<3] 9:34AM, In three weeks then?

[New Message] from <3 9:36AM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!!!!!!

[You are Video Calling <3 ...] 9:36AM

[moon-yeongjun]

“Tae-yah, I love you, but this is a stupid dream.” || Moon Bros

Summary: June 5-- Tae asks for permission to get a nipple piercing and then wants boy and friend advice, thus torturing Jun. This is very funny. 

@moon-yeongtae

Tae: hey so would u ever sign a paper so I could get my nipples pierced and not tell eomma?

Jun: what the hell

Jun: why would you want to do something so absurd

Tae: bc it looks cool?

Jun: aiya

Jun: look i dont think that is something we could hide from eomma for forever

Jun: cant you just wait a year and a half you'll be 18

Jun: then you can do whatever horrible body mutilation to yourself that you want

Tae: maybe

Tae: but if I really wanted to you'd sign it right?

Tae: :)

Jun: i dont think so

Jun: i am not going to go behind eomma's back

Jun: then you'll get me in trouble

Tae: :(

Tae: i could tell her I forged ur signature if she found out

Jun: no

Jun: this is a waste of your money anyway

Jun: if you still want it at 18 then you get it then

Tae: my friends are gonna get piercings

Tae: all three of them

Jun: oh u going to buy drugs if all your friends buy drugs

Tae: no

Tae: but I also don't want drugs

Jun: well why do u want nipple piercings anyway are you trying to be a pirate eh

Jun: a drug lord

Tae: maybe

Tae: im actually starting my own biker gang

Jun: all the more reason for me to say no

Tae: why can't u support my dreams hyung

Jun: tae yah i love you

Jun: but this is a stupid dream

Tae: wow

Jun: someone needs to tell you

Jun: that someone is me

Tae [hours later]: Hyung

Tae: on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being u actually like it and 10 being u want to shoot urself in the face

Tae: how do u feel about me talking to u about boys

Jun [deleted]: 씨-발

Jun: a 5

Tae: ok so like an 8

Jun: i said a 5 didnt i

Tae: 5 means u have no feeling one way or the other lmfao that's impossible u have an opinion about everything

Jun: if you tell me you want to get your nipples pierced for a boy i am at a 10 how about that

Tae: haha no that would be just for me ;)

Jun: right

Jun: the answer to that is still no

Tae: no i was actually going to talk about how i'm never going to date anyone in my whole life and i might as well become a monk

Jun: oh well personally i think that is a good life decision

Jun: monks are well respected

Jun: i am also probably going to become a monk

Tae: yeah why don't u get laid more tbh

Tae: all my friends talk about how hot u r so i mean u probably look alright

Jun: i am now at a 7

Jun: we're not supposed to be talking about my sex life

Jun [deleted]: also you should get new friends they are not allowed to come over anymore IN WITH THE NEW OUT WITH THE STUPID

Tae: ugh

Tae: im depressed

Jun: okay

Jun: because you think you're never going to date?

Tae: no

Tae: bc i can't date nemo

Jun: why not

Jun: he likes boys too

Jun: does he not like you?

Tae: apparently louie had a crush on me this whole time

Tae: and thinks we are assholes

Jun: oh wait im remembering this

Jun: we did talk about it

Tae: yes

Tae: and like

Jun: i told you to tell him to shut up

Tae: he's just now starting to talk to us again

Jun [deleted]: first of all i cant believe you have so many gay friends is everyone just gay now

Tae: and nemo is a really good person and cares

Tae: about louie's feelings

Jun: so you'er saying he wont date you because he does not want to upset his other friend

Tae: yea

Jun: im not really sure what you want from me here i dont really do relationship advice

Tae: ok

Jun: it seems to be that louie is being selfish and you should just date

Jun: right? is that crazy?

Jun: and if he is going to not talk to you well he is a terrible friend anyway good riddance

Tae: that's a little bit how i feel

Tae: i also see nemo's side

Tae: but the longer it goes on

Tae: the more i just really don't give a fuck what louie says

Jun: you shouldnt give a fuck about him but i guess you should care what nemo says since he still has to agree to date you

Tae: u said fuck lmao

Jun: ive said fuck many times before

Tae: yeah but i was expecting u to yell at me about my language lol

Tae: anyway

Tae: i want to kick louie in the mouth and date nemo

Tae: and im depressed bc i can't do that

Tae: bc i really really like him

Tae: a lot

Tae: so much

Jun [deleted]: well thats nice... no what the fuck do u say to someon

Jun: ah well im sorry tae yah that your friends are both equally stupid for different reasons

Tae: im moving to texas

Tae: that's like one of the only states i know

Jun: i hear things are worse there

Jun: you should move to new york thats where everyone goes

Jun: personally would hate it but

Jun: i dunno, lots of gay people are there

Tae: like city?

Jun: yes sure

Tae: that shit is too big

Jun: aiya now i will yell at you for your language

Tae: can i stay home from school tomorrow lmao

Jun: what? no

Jun: there is no good erason for you to miss school

Tae: it's to stop me from killing a skinny white boy

Jun: not good enough your education is most important

Jun: a little murder never hurt anyone

Jun: but missing school? terrible tragedy

Tae: except the dead guy

Jun: well in a way you're doing him a favour if you think about it

Jun: he doesnt have to go to school anymore

Jun: but you do

Tae: omg

Tae: that's a good reason to keep him alive i guess

Tae: so he has to suffer

Jun: there we go

Jun: other ways to get revenge

Tae: he's being such a little bitch baby too

Tae: UGH

Jun: yes just get it out 

now

Tae: did u know he's not even looking at me

Tae: like he won't

Tae: he looks off to the side and like doesn't speak actual words to me

Tae: he will text when we are in a group and acknowledge me there

Tae: that's it

Jun: thats very immature

Jun: weird way to treat a crush if u want them to like u back too but thats neither here nor there

Tae: what he is basically doing is making sure i will never like him back probably bc why would i like someone who can't like

Tae: talk about what is bothering them

Tae: and instead ignores me

Jun: well i dont know i definitely wouldnt

Tae: and like we have talked about it

Tae: but he basically said i was a dick and i should leave him alone

Tae: so the whole thing  pisses me off i hate it

Jun: well maybe you should

Jun: let him get over it or whatever

Tae: i am

Tae: im not being pushy it just sUCKS

Jun: well i saw a lot of people in my year date and break up over and over

Jun: the good thing is he will get over it and you will all forget about it

Jun: then you and nemo can date if thats what you want

Tae: yeah

Tae: when u come home can u bring some nectarines

Jun: what am i a delivery boy

Jun [deleted]: yes yeong junnie

Jun: fine

Tae: thank u hyungie

[tenacious-scripturient]

a run-down of / my thoughts on the novel ‘trade secrets’

so! i’ve recently finished this beautifully written novel by @bettsican​, and am anxiously anticipating for the second book in the trilogy! (seriously, give it a read. it’s a great lgbtq+ thriller and mystery story, i promise you’ll love it!! you can find trade secrets in many places, including amazon, where it’s only $6)

as i was reading it, i noted down all the thoughts i had. it was fun, interesting, and kept me on the edge of my seat!

oh, and spoiler warning, of course.

Chapter One

okay. this is interesting. why are they in paris? or rather, why are they NOT in paris?

2080. damn.

who is cooper hall and why is he important i want to knowwwwwwww

Chapter Two

HOLY FUCK

CHAPTER ONE WAS A PROLOGUE

OKAY IF I DIDNT NEED TO BEFORE I HAVE TO READ IT NOW

-ahem- anyway

nate literally everything you think of has to relate to smoking, doesnt it?

clyde you absolutely bitch raccoon

im sort of piecing together what’s happening here? either way this is a SUPER interesting concept.

i love the idea of every word being important

nate look at you being a nice guy. testing the CAPS before giving them to ur clients

or maybe it’s just good business

but whatever

okay, so credits are money in this world. but how do people get them? obviously there’s what nate’s doing but what’s the legal way to get them? ill probably find out soon

if it wasnt explicitly said by betty that nate ends up with another guy (i forget his name. cooper?) i would have thought audry was the romantic interest

audry you loving caring hypocrite

i feel like she’s gonna be one of my favourite characters

who is this young man that dares disturb nate’s slumber

cooper? cooper.

Chapter Three

nate get up

u turtle get up and hurry down the stairs

or—okay you can fall into that drywall that works too

ohhhhh so nate is a detective. that’s interesting

i also love this idea of keeping secrets (haha trade secrets)

dude are you sure that your embarrassing entrance wasn’t the ONLY reason you blushed? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIG—

nate ur spending an awful lot of time looking at his features you funky little bisexual

oh damn ur smarter than u seem, just watching him take a single breath and you’re already making connections. i guess that’s why he’s a detective

im gonna assume this is cooper, even tho it never explicitly says so

i feel like we aren’t gonna get his name for a while, bc clients and whatnot and not getting attached

Chapter Four

NATE WEARS GLASSES???????

that’s kind of cute

im lowkey gay rn

anyway

NATE CALLED HIM SWEET-FACED AND PRETTY-FACED O K A Y

oh he has curly brown hair

and oh the glasses aren’t real glasses. oh. the use is actually pretty cool!

so from what im gathering civilians are people who don’t live in sanctuaries, and lemnis are people who do?

cooper sweetie why do u need so much money what have u done

nate’s pretty clever

HAH I WAS RIGHT WE AREN’T GONNA GET HIS NAME FOR A WHILE

well that’s that i guess

Chapter Five

he’s so timid awh

hehe he’s on nate’s bed

sorry

goddammit man calm down or else you’re gonna get everyone in a 5-mile radius around you arrested

wait…. zero-credit balance?? didn’t he just have a few hundred thousand credits???

OH THIS IS A FAKE PROFILE HE MADE

so cooper isn’t his real name either

oh

Chapter Six

oh we’re back to 2080

oh they’re back in the apartment??

it was obvious before but at this point it’s confirmed that they’re going to be doing some travelling together or something

Chapter Seven

this is getting really interesting i dont wanna stop reading and type everything that comes to mind

these are gonna be shorter now hehe

“i’d been a petri dish of mixed emotions and wild chemical changes for half the day” I LOVE THAT METAPHOR LMFAO

what happened with nate’s mom

i want to know

my prediction: she wanted him to either change up or completely remove the chip bc she did something horrible? or maybe she just wanted to leave idk im bad at predictions

either way it said she was crazy

o h

that’s why he’s terrified of cutting the chip

poor nate

Chapter Eight

oh this is strangely intimate

very intimate

i feel that, because cooper has such high pain tolerance (or doesn’t show pain), he has some backstory for it

Chapter Nine

lmao nate just went off didnt he

THEIR FLIRTING IS CUTE FHJKJDLSKAJDKLSJAK

also is being lgbtq+ widely accepted as the norm in this setting? bc nate considered cooper to be flirting with him

ughhhh it’s so good so far, from the character interactions to the suspense, especially in this chapter

Chapter Ten

rude cooper is rude, rude nate is even more rude

F E D O R A

“coop”

Chapter Eleven

aw i love jimmy already—

WHAT THE FUCK COOPER

EXCUSE ME

JIMMY

WHAT

HOW COULD YOU

goddammit

what the fuck is cooper hiding

cooper oh my god

you

you’re playing a dangerous game, mate

are you really that heartless

“deceptively innocent eyes” you got that right

this chapter hurted

thanks a lot jess

Chapter Twelve

“like a weeping wound on the canvas of my home” this has got to be one of my favourite similes ever omg

the way nate’s describing cooper makes my heart hurt awh

i feel like butterflies have some sort of symbolism

maybe being ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside, or vice versa? the vice versa was basically cooper lol

aye we finally get to meet audry!!

PEANUT BUTTER AND TRICYCLE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT

i love audry omg

IT’S NATE’S BIRTHDAY?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA SMOKEY CONMAN

“bright eyes” is the cutest nickname ever

Chapter Thirteen

oh we’re back to 2080

wait what they’re trapped together

is this story gonna have a sad ending

please no

Chapter Fourteen

OH IT’S THE LINE ON THE COVER

i like that

nate’s back to where he left cooper

also if it wasn’t obvious before, it’s definitely obvious now that nate and cooper or gonna find each other again. hm. not sure how i feel about that

kind of pissed at cooper but also we need him for the story to progress

O H

COOPER IM ONLY KIND OF PISSED AT YOU NOW

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

NATE IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT YOU’RE PRETTY CLEVER

also who is ‘her’?

COOPER WANTS TO BECOME A?? LEMNIS?? GODDAMMIT MAN

I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE RISING

nate’s in danger

wow this chapter is

a lot

i need a break

-cue a break-

Chapter Fifteen

i’m back

eisley is a cool last name

oh wait so even people outside of sanctuaries can become a lemniscate

i’m still not 100% sure what a lemniscate is

it’s so ironic elijah’s last name is king, but i assume you did that on purpose. i also like the slight nod to royalty by his first name

OH

COOPER’S BACK

why hello there

Chapter Sixteen

they’re

competing

to become a lemniscate

and one of them dies

do they fight back?? is that why they end up in prison??? so many thoughts are going through my head right now

nate, your fantasy about becoming a lemniscate is surprisingly dark. i’m totally down for it

Chapter Seventeen

oh wait so joshua is cooper’s blackmailer?? Interesting that it’s a lemniscate

i keep forgetting nate is wearing glasses

cooper, my dude, calm the fuck down. you’re gonna get yourself and nate killed

it’s the return of soft™ nate

Chapter Eighteen

oh there’s another one

oh this is very ominous i don’t like

Chapter Nineteen – Twenty-One

okay i was eating while i read so i couldn’t type here but just know that these chapters were really really good

Chapter Twenty-Two

wait fuck what’s happening this is all happening so fast

cooper brought out his gun,,,, it’s aimed at ivonne,,,,,,, they’re walking,,,

OH IT WAS A FAKE KIDNAPPING

nice

i like ivonne a lot

Chapter Twenty-Three

the entire story just changed course

this isn’t just about cooper and nate anymore, it’s about a corrupt government

NATE AND COOPER ARE HOLDING HANDS AS THEY RUN THROUGH THE BARRIER THAT’S SO ROMANTIC

also the line “only the dead are ever truly free” is beautiful

THAT’S WHERE PARIS COMES IN

THEY ALL GO TO FRANCE DON’T THEY

I’m so curious to find out where this story is going

Chapter Twenty-Four

this is doin me a confusion

but tbh these hints/ visions of the future, if you could call them that, are giving just enough information to keep me super interested. props to you

Chapter Twenty-Five

AUDRY STOP TEASING NATE

just joking keep doing it, this might actually get their relationship somewhere

ivonne is definitely my favourite character so far. she reminds a little of melia from xenoblade chronicles, in that they’re both ‘royalty’ that rebel. also they’re badass and smart

oh fuck the brother is here

okay thank god he’s not an asshole

oh god things are happening again

Chapter Twenty-Six

nate stop ogling at cooper when you’re in a life-or-death situation

holy shit the lemniscate are messed up

this crew is pretty great, it sucks that it’s almost the end of the book

WAIT I FORGOT THERE’S A SECOND COMING SOON HECK YEAH

anyway

YES COOPER PULL THROUGH

awwww yiss

Chapter Twenty-Seven

oh

oh

O H

oh my god i ship them so hard

THEY KISSED

THIS IS SO STEAMY

this chapter was art thank you so much for this

Chapter Twenty-Eight

AHAHAH AUDRY

once again, i’d like to state how much i love her

oh the tension just grew twentyfold

this is… great

oh god nate what are you planning, you just got together with cooper and now you want to leave him?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

what’s with all the dancing?

Chapter Thirty

oh god the description

so he’s going around and giving people credits, all the while confessing things that would help the lemniscate track him down. i assume this means he’s going to die, but why?

just what are you planning?

oh we’re back to clyde, the guy who started it all. it feels full circle

Chapter Thirty-One

OH

HE’S MAKING HIS CHIP SHOW THAT HE’S DEAD

that’s much smarter

FUCK

NATE YOU IDIOT—COOPER’S REAL NAME

SHIT NOW KING IS HERE

everything’s going downhill now isn’t it

Chapter Thirty-Two

wait that took an even darker turn

there’s so much happening right now i can’thandlethis

cooper and nate are couple goals

Chapter Thirty-Three

king isn’t as horrible as i thought

still horrible, but not a monster

NEVER MIND YOU’RE A FUCKING MONSTER WHAT IS THIS BS

cooper

actually

shot

nate

Chapter Thirty-Four

OH MY GOD

WHAT

THIS IS HOW YOU END IT

I CAN’T

HOW DARE YOU

NO

NO

NO

NO

i need the next book

like right now

what the hell

Final Thoughts

okay so this book was SO good, and so well written. like damn

aside from that horrible ending how could you do this to me

i’m joking, it was an incredible and emotional ending, i loved it and hated it at the same time

it very rarely felt static, and especially in the first half, there was a good mix of action and backstory/description. it was never boring

the story is just,,, so unique. i seriously haven’t read anything like it, EVER

the world-building?? Is?? so vast?? and insane??

the increasing tension and speed as the story progressed is perfect, i felt my heart beating faster the more i read

anyway that’s all from me

this book was amazing i cannot wait for the next

[jadecringecomp]

jade, of course, is still trying to deflect rather than own up to anything at all. im too lazy for screenshots so youre going to have to deal with text for this one. you can see their post here though. and if receipts are needed they are most likely on the callout blog or you can come to me if you cant find them.

“uses their own dead grandma as leverage out of nowhere literally months after the original argument”

jade are you really that braindead. like youre still just proving my previous point. youre still practically shitting on me for it. i gave a reason as to why that night was so traumatic for me because you keep trying to make it seem “like it wasnt that bad” by your own words!

also like uh, jade. you yourself have used your aunt having cancer as a reason to just... excuse every single action youve done. so again, take that and choke.

“abuses their own bf/ex but its fine because he abused her first lolololol!!!”

jade i... honestly have no words. youre still defending a pedophile, and you even admit he abused me. like, yes, i cheated on him. but how does the fact he is a pedophilic abuser not process through your head. why are you so set on defending that. a genuine question.

“flips back and forth on whether they were actually abused or not whenever it benefits her“

theres... nowhere that even says that in the link you posted. are you posting that to still try and imply i lied about the abuse you inflicted upon me or...?

“refriends their own ‘abuser’”

ok well one jade, you still have no actual proof ive befriended broden at all. all you have is a like on a fucking post. really how braindead is it possible to be at this point.

and regarding bailey, i never called her my abuser. you were the one to do that. you said she abused me after i showed you screenshots of what went down between us. and whats worse after i even came to you and showed you the screenshots and you got involved with that mess?? you still wanna try and say what happened was fake. like you wanna call me two-faced, yet youre so quick to change your mind once you realize that person doesnt benefit you anymore. 

also! for someone whos a survivor of abuse, you sure as hell dont realize a common thing between us survivors is literally going back to those who’ve hurt them right?? like you keep bringing this up as if im fucking lying about the whole thing when im not since again, i came to you while we were friends with the proof. i can even post them if need be. and honestly it doesnt even fucking matter anymore ive broken contact with her after shortly realizing my mistake.

“denies other ppls abuse just because they doesnt like them and a few vent discord messages means they knows literally everything abt it“

i can admit to saying i denied your abuse because there is actual proof that you werent abused two years ago, not because i dont like you. do you really just think nobody will believe proof right in front of them jade??? do you think youre some perfect princess who can do no wrong???? like jade the proof is right @deeancie, @estweri, @honeykeis-callout, and even here. you really expect me to just not believe it if i didnt hate you. you honestly need some real fucking help if thats the case jade.

and really like. if you say your bf clams up when you go to him... what else am i supposed to believe. sure i can be wrong, but reading that shit can really make you wonder what is going on between you two. and jade you wanna say that like you yourself dont do that shit. remember all the times you read vague text posts and would go on a tangent as if you knew every little thing about what was going on in my life. yeah kinda what i thought.

“says grooming minors is talking to people One time“

i love how you fail to leave out the fact that these people were minors and that youre practically defending loli. so if youre still talking to these minors and since youre still defending loli, then yes youre grooming minors into thinking loli is ok.

“straight up let a minor into their porn server on discord (they can go as rabid about this as they want but they still straight up showed an actual minor graphic porn but IM a pedophile bc i rb anime sometimes lmfao)”

again its been resolved. like ive acknowledged it was wrong of me to do and ive changed it. and how can you say you just rb anime sometimes when. you literally are reblogging this kind of fuckshit. like do you not remember reblogging that obviously naked child in a collar or what. the difference is i realized my wrong and changed it while youre still rbing actual loli.

“lied about the relationship (the one where they abused each other and she cheated on him with her other abuser???) having elements of pedophilia because they lied about her age”

this is so... ive told you i forgot. the ages. i was literally an age off for the both of us. like what else do you want me to do about this.

“has sketchy as fuck ocs, including one thats physically ten who would force their adult self insert to be naked around them and also drew them being physically beaten“

while the first was true (but i dont have that oc anymore), where in the fuck did i draw them being physically beaten lole??? are you pulling this out of your ass to deflect you yourself rbing beaten children????

and i swear to god if you bring up this comic, im going to scream.

“is a stalker and an abuser. by their own logic“

ok like. a couple of things to this. jade when are you going to get it through your thick skull i didnt give a shit if you were lurking or not, it was the fact you would comment on my every move. which is stalking by the way and incredibly creepy like get a life!

and an abuser “by my own logic”. the link you shared, again, doesnt show that anywhere. also with how badly of a hypocrite you are, thats you. you told me it was abusive to call people delusional. you started doing that once i realized my wrong and stopped. you told me it was abusive. you told me making people relapse was abusive. yet once i relapse you still didnt give a shit and somehow that makes you in the clear (though i still dont give a shit we both literally did that to ourselves the point is youre an abuser too to your own logic). you said trying to gaslight people is abusive (which it is). look at the stacks of proof i have of you gaslighting me. like i could go on but all the proof if here on this blog.

“oh and dont forget they foamed at the mouth that i didnt instantly know when they changed their pronouns but has been proven to have Actually knowingly misgendered me for weeks“

jade the fact you were lurking should make it fucking obvious you should have known my pronouns. and for weeks?? jade i misgendered you in your callout, which i immediately changed once pointed out. will you please stop lying to make yourself look victim and just tell the truth for once in your life.

“also apparently i can call them rae and its not deadnaming because its not their birthname so“

oh my god youre literally fucking braindead it hurts to watch at this point. no rae isnt my deadname. but i do prefer not going my that. the whole point of that was that you tried screaming transphobia because someone called you by a previous name you went by. you fucking dumbass.

“claims to have bpd but doesnt even know what cluster b is holy shit!!!“

what do i even say to this jade?? what does the fact i didnt know what that was at first matter to me having bpd??? also are you just gonna shrug off the fact that you first claimed you got misdiagnosed with autsim, then suddenly you do? you claimed to have bipolar disorder, then later you suddenly decide you have bpd??? kind of sketchy if you ask me!

“tries to send anons under my name but forgot that their friend levi doesnt even have me blocked so why the fuck would i go on anon if i would ‘sign’ it anyway hm“

a....... are you implying i was the one to send those....? is it because you realized once you did so it backfired?? jade for someone who wanted to claim i was the one making up conspiracies, you sure make up a lot of them.

in conclusion: jade you still are just deflecting! you still havent defended any of the shit me or my friends have called you out for! the fact you still havent admitted to them or so much as even defended the claims sure does speak a lot! stop deflecting and lying and just fucking come out about it!