#honestly avatar made me so pissed cause it could have actually been SO GOOD

[crossthread]

Okay I swear to God I hope the directors of avatar (the alien movie) sees this post somehow but the whole reason the way of water flopped so badly is cause it was written over 10 years ago. So I like avatar. I thought it was a cool concept and good characters and overall a solid action movie. But the characterisation is just a dacade old man. It's really outdated. It instantly turned me off when Jake was seen to be a 'hardass' to his kids, and having them call him Sir, and have Neytiri taking kind of a secondary role as the 'peacekeeper' parent who goes 'but your dad loves you, he just wants you safe' bullshit trope that's just really not what this generation is looking for rn.

Emotionally mature parents is what's on topic rn. Dad's that step up and know what they're doing and don't have the 2000s 'military hardass emotionally distant' bullcrap. Just look at all the other movies and shows with family themes that did really fucking well. The Last of Us. Ultraman: Rising. Nimona. Even Maleficent, which I think is one of the earliest movies of this trope that's well known. They did well for a reason. You can't make Jake Sully a bad father and think the current audience will dig it. All of his kids, one way or another felt the pressure of living up to their dad's expectations, and im sure, whether he really loves them. And I assure you for all intents and purposes it felt like Neteyam died thinking he wasnt enough. You can't have those 'your dad loves you but he just doesn't know how to show it' bullshit anymore and expect the audience to like or even relate to that character cause a lot of us don't take that shit anymore from our own parents. A lot of millennials are actively trying to be present and good parents to their kids. So yeah. The way Jake Sully, and to a certain extent, Neytiri were characterised is probably one of the biggest reasons this entire movie flopped. It could have been great. But it isn't. And I kind of hate it actually.

My point is: if there's gonna be a third movie, the best bet to make sure it doesn't follow the way of waters footsteps is to overhaul a lot of the characterisation and plot. See what the audience wants rn, and what they audience relates to. It was clear the writing to that movie was old as balls and gen z or gen alpha don't take that shit man. Give us good parents

Edit: okay as someone pointed it out it wasn't actually a 'flop' flop because they grossed by over a billion or smth in the box office I think but to be fair half this post has been sitting in my drafts for like 2 years and I wrote this soon after I watched it back then, and a LOT of people werent that happy with it. But yall know what I mean. I waited for this movie for 10 years and all I felt was this low simmering disappointment because it could have been so good, but it wasn't.

[thefanficmonster]

An Impostor In Love

Sequel to ‘Love For The Faceless’ (’Body Reveal’)

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing (maybe)

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Rae can’t stay mad at her best friends forever. Them being absolutely adorable doesn’t help her ‘pissed off’ act either. Y/N’s outing Corpse like she’s a human lie detector. Corpse is gushing about her every second word that comes out of his mouth. And the rest of the lobby are getting one hell of a kick out of the Among Us romantic comedy - An Impostor In Love

Requested but, once again, not in a typical way. I honestly wasn’t expecting all the positive feedback I got for Love For The Faceless (Body Reveal). I was star-struck! You guys are so amazing I have no words to describe just how much I love you all! Thank you for everything! This story is for all of you 🥰🥰🥰

“Mr. and Mrs. ‘Totally not dating’ have entered the call!“ Sean announces when I hop into the Discord call to play Among Us with the usual gang. I hear Corpse’s laugh from down the hall, bringing a smile to my face.

We’ve gotten used to playing in this arrangement, a few rooms away from each other, ever since we moved in together - Corpse is in his recording room and I am in our shared bedroom. When one dies, they go in the other’s room to troll them. I’m usually the one dead, but that’s besides the point.

“Hi everyone!“ I say in my typical cheery tone before kicking it done a few notches, making it an octave deeper just to say: “Hi Rae.”

The whole lobby laughs, they all know what I’m trying to do here. Everyone’s aware this is the first time Rae is in the same call and lobby as Corpse and I after you-know-which incident. Sure, I’ve been poking sticks at her, waving a white flag and admitting I was wrong several times by now. Who knew my sweetheart best friend could act so cold? I know it’s a front. I know she’s fighting to stay mad. There’s a ton of pressure on her to finally forgive us, but she’s been holding up better than I would be if I were in her situation.

I honestly felt, and still feel, slightly guilty. I know best friends are supposed to tell each other everything. They are supposed to be the first ones to know whatever’s going on in each other’s lives. And I know I broke one of the main rules of friendships, but the decision wasn’t only mine to make. I’m sure she understands where I’m coming from, she’s just giving me and Corpse a hard time.

“Hello, Y/N.” She replies, her tone strictly formal.

“Progress, people! Progress!“ I say joyously, the smile turning into a grin 

“Don’t worry, babe. We’ll get her eventually.“ Corpse reassures me as he’s done for the past week or two. He knew I wasn’t as unbothered by Rae’s anger towards me as I tried to appear - a pro and simultaneously a con of living with someone: they pick up on everything about you. You become as familiar to them as the back of their hand.

“I know, I know.“ I giggle, “She’ll cave.“

“Yeah, good luck with that.“ Rae has dropped the formal tone, now sounding like a stubborn child which is something I’m way more familiar with. I’ve dealt with her tantrums and childish outbursts - I don’t know which number it is, but it’s somewhere in the rule book of friendships - and I at least the approximate meaning behind it. 

Ken puts an end to our friendly, stick-poking, sorta one-sided banter, ushering us to start the game. We all oblige, muting our mics and getting our heads in the game as though we’re about to enter an actual warzone with upmost stealth.

To my dismay, the screen flashes ‘Crewmate’. I head out of cafeteria to do my task in Weapons, staying weary of anyone within my proximity. Once I’m done, I head on down to Shields and complete my task there as well. I cringe when I’m done, knowing my last three tasks are in Electrical. Like, the fuck kind of luck do I have?

I make my way through the halls, running into Sykkuno and we circle around each other a few times to show we’re safe before we each continue our own way. I enter Electrical and.....oh Felix is dead. And oh lookie who’s right there...

I report the body before the impostor can and we all unmute our mics.

“Found him in Electrical.“ I say nonchalantly, “Didn’t see anyone in there though.“ 

“Anyone sus?“ Sean asks

We say our ‘no’s and ‘I don’t know’s and skip the vote. I’m smirking to myself as I head back down to Electrical. Walking in, I see the same person as before - Rae. I stop dead in my tracks and we just stare at each other for a few seconds before she comes towards me, circling me twice, bumping visors with me and venting out of the room.

“You’re welcome.“ I mumble, smiling widely.

I finish my tasks and leave Electrical just as Corpse enters our bedroom, giving me this tired-parent look like he’s half disappointed and half amused. “You just threw the game, didn’t you? Don’t lie.” He raises his eyebrows, fully adopting his parent role.

I giggle, shaking my head, sending him the briefest of glances before my eyes fixate on the screen in utter shock - Sean just killed me. Oh, for fuck’s sake...

“I was gonna come clean eventually, but I guess they won’t hear it from me now.“ I shrug, lifting my laptop and setting it aside so Corpse can join me on the bed. I snuggle up to him immediately, drawn to him as though he’s a human magnet.

“Who was it?“ He asks me, running his hands through my hair in a soothing manner.

I frown, pulling away from his chest to look him in the eyes, “Wait, how did you know I threw the game if you don’t know who I threw it for?”

He smirks, shrugging, “I didn’t know. You were smiling downright evilly when I came in so I just assumed.” He boops my nose. “And you ratted yourself out.”

I narrow my eyes at him, blowing some air out my nose - a gesture that has become my only way of showing anger towards him. I literally can’t even voice when I’m upset with him cause the grudge lasts like .5 seconds. I let him get away with more than he should.

Seeing as how I can’t argue to his statement, I lean back into his chest and pull out my phone to pass the time while I pretend to give him the silent treatment. Among my notifications is one for Rae’s stream. I smile and tap it, being taken to her YouTube channel and her live stream.

Just when the stream loads, Rae finds my dead body in Storage.

“Oh, nooooooo! Y/N!“ She wines as she goes over to it, “Sean must’ve killed her.” She reports the body and unmutes herself in game, “The body’s in Storage. I was on my way to call an emergency meeting cause I saw Sean vent in Security.”

“WHAT?!“ Sean exclaims in shock, “I didn’t! Rae’s lying. I swear I didn’t! I wasn’t even in Security!“

“Sean has been following me around this whole time. Just saying.“ Ken joins the discussion, throwing even more suspicion on Sean.

“We gotta vote someone.“ Charlie says, “Might as well be the most sus person at the moment.“

The voting results show all the little astronaut icons on Sean except his which is on Rae. Sean gets launched into space and the game continues. Having muted her mic in-game, Rae speaks up: “Y/N has been avenged. No one kills my best friend.”

I’m staring at my phone screen, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, a huge smile on my face. I take a glance at Corpse out of the corner of my eye and see he’s just as pleasantly surprised as I am.

“For those of you asking if I’m still mad at her and Corpse, the answer’s no. Actually, I think I was never mad. I was just in shock and a little hurt that I wasn’t made aware sooner.“ Rae says as she keeps wandering around the map, “Then I realized not talking to my best friend hurt more than the betrayal, you know. The only reason I still pretend is because it’s really funny to see her trying to soften me up.“ She laughs, “But yeah. I don’t know what I’d do without her or Corpse in my life. I love them both and love them even more together. My best friends are dating, I still can’t wrap my brain around that! They are sooo cute, you guys! I wish they posted more content of them together. I’m literally simping over their relationship! But shh, don’t tell em I said that.”

I laugh, overjoyed by what I just heard. I knew she couldn’t still be mad at us. I know she has every right to be, but she’s too sweet to actually hold a grudge against anyone ever.

I suddenly want nothing more than to give her an enormous hug and hold onto her for as long as she’d let me. I just now realize how lonely it feels to have never hugged your best friend because you haven’t hung out together in person. The only reason Rae now knows what I look like is because I sent her a full body picture of myself as one of my sad attempts to get her to start talking to us again. We have never met in person, and that thought kills me. It makes me impatient for this pandemic to end even more than before. 

“Told you there was nothing to worry about.“ Corpse’s arms tighten their hold on my body, pulling me even closer which I didn’t know was possible. The most fulfilling and endearing feeling - being in the arms of a loved one. Being held so close and so tightly that you feel like you’re untouchable. Like you two can’t be hurt by anything in the world as long as you have each other.

“Yeah, you were right.“ I sigh in content, putting my phone down and covering his hands with mine, our rings clinking quietly when they touch.

“As usual...“ he whispers theatrically with his lips against my hair.

I playfully roll my eyes, catching glimpse of the screen showing Rae’s demise. 

“Oh no, they caught her.“ I say, a bit disappointed she didn’t win and more than a bit responsible for her defeat.

I somehow manage to convince myself to get untangled from Corpse’s embrace and join the new round. I hear him groan as I settle my computer in my lap, unmuting my mic.

“See ya, kitten.“ Corpse kisses my temple, standing up.

“Oh my God, you two are too cute.“ Poki says sweetly, having heard what Corpse said to me.

“SIMP!“ Sean and Felix shout in unison causing the whole lobby to laugh. Corpse is as red as Rae’s avatar as he exists our room, running down the hallway.

“Ok, ok, ok. Hold on. I have to address this. I really hadn’t stepped foot in Security, let alone vented in there. Rae why were you lying?“ Sean’s voice cuts through the teasing directed towards Corpse and I.

“While we’re on that topic...“ Felix speaks up as well, making me break out in a nervous sweat, “Y/N, you literally saw Rae kill me, but you said you didn’t see anyone.“ He laughs, “Not gonna lie, I was a bit pissed.“

The call falls silent for about five seconds until Rae and I speak simultaneously.

“I was avenging Y/N.“

“I was helping Rae.“

Silence follows our statements, not for long though, as our friends break out in amused laughter.

“Fuck’s sake, you two make a good team.“ Sean says through genuine laughter which Rae and I soon join him in.

Felix and Sean and the rest of the lobby forgive us for throwing the game from both the crewmate and impostor’s side and we move onto another round. This time I have only one task in Electrical which I leave for last as always. I don’t feel like dying right from the get-go. I start by doing the card swipe in Admin and then the fuel task in Storage. As I make my way to Upper Engine, Corpse leaves Electrical, falling in step with me. I immediately get nervous, but still make my way to where I’m supposed to go, hoping he’d go his own way eventually. 

I stay wary of my boyfriend as I do my task, praying he won’t take my head off. When the task is finished, I find I’m trapped in the room with the doors shut. And Corpse right there. With every right and opportunity to kill me and vent. No one would know. No one saw us. 

That nervous sweat is back. 

I’m counting my last seconds of being alive.

And it happens...

A body is reported

“Oh than you so so so much! Corpse was gonna kill me in Upper Engine!“ I don’t let the person who reported the body speak, thanking them for my survival. “I was sure I was a goner.“

“Babe, come on now. You know I wouldn’t kill you even if I was an impostor. I love you too much.“ Corpse hurries to defend himself, “I’m following you around to keep you safe.“

I can tell he’s capping, but I have no concrete proof. He knows I’m onto him. His best bet is having me killed by the other impostor. He might have been capping the majority of his defense, but I know he won’t kill me.

“I’ll vote for myself because of that one.“ I mumble

The vote is skipped except the one vote I placed on myself and the round continues. I follow Corpse around the whole time, making sure he’s completing tasks - not that I can be 100% certain he’s actually completing them.

All is well until we walk into Admin and find Felix there, uploading data. Corpse, dead-ass, goes up to him and kills him, reporting the body right afterwards.

“IT’S CORPSE!“ I don’t give him a chance to start his brainwashing of the rest of the players. “Felix, this is my redemption for leaving your death unavenged last round.“

“Yeah, it’s me.“ Corpse laughs, that adorable laugh of his melting me despite the need to stay strong and carry out my argument, “Just vote me out so I can go troll Y/N.“

“Sounds like a plan to me.“ Ken says, the remainder of the crewmates, and the impostor probably, agreeing with him.

The votes are put in, all on Corpse obviously, and he is sent off into space. Not even five seconds later I hear his footsteps approaching. 

I look up when he pops his head in the room and says, “I have come to annoy you to death with my love for you.”

I can’t help but laugh, shaking my head. The things this man does to me are insane. It’s insane that I let him. 

It’s amazing, really. We’re amazing.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I pat the spot on the bed next to me, “I’ll allow it. But only cause I love you too.”

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Lessons 10-12

Masterlist

Time for a Freaky Friday situation, an Isekai situation, and a fun family trip! And what’s a fun family trip without helping your uncle who is trapped in an attic and trying to raise a cat with your half-brother/uncle/whatever whose in your father’s body? Dear Grandfather God… get MC some help-

Let’s pick up where we left off last time with MC and Belphie >:)

“No need to be nervous, I won’t bite.” Belphie tapped his knuckles against the door he was leaning on to emphasize his point. “And I can’t on account of the magic door.”

“Why…” MC began before straightening their posture and clearing their throat. “What are you doing up here? I was told you were in the human world.”

“As you can see,” Belphie sighed. “I’m not. I’ve been stuck in the attic since before you got here.”

“But why?”

“Lucifer.”

MC narrowed their eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He locked me up here, rude, right?” Belphie’s carefree tone heavily contrasted how tense his shoulders were as he leaned oh-too casually on the doorframe. “To cut right to the chase, I need your help.”

“My… help..?”

“Yep. I need you to get me out of here.” Upon seeing MC’s scandalized expression, he raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Calm down, I’ll explain.”

Belphie began his explanation. “So, Lucifer and I got into a little brotherly spat that got blown out of proportion, it was really all a misunderstanding. I want to be able to have a civil conversation with Lucifer that isn’t marred by my… prison.”

“Mammon told me that you opposed the exchange program, and that’s why you got sent to the human world.” MC said quietly. Ugh, they almost cursed themselves out then and there for all the muttering they were doing. They weren’t some guilty child!

Belphie had a look on his face that MC had seen on the five other brothers. The look that always preceded one of the brothers calling Mammon a scumbag, a moron, an idiot, or something equally nasty. The look quickly disappeared as Belphie gave MC a halfhearted shrug.

“I was, yes. But I couldn’t care less about that now.” Belphie waved his hand in the air like he was waving off the whole issue. “It was my bad, really. I was being unreasonable, and I got pissed.”

“What exactly do you need me to do to get you out of there?” MC asked, clenching and unclenching their fist to get the tension out.

“I need you to undo the spell holding the door shut. If you were anyone else, I’d be asking you to make pacts with my brothers in order to override Lucifer’s spell and open the door,” Belphie’s eyes flashed again. “But you… you can just use some of your magic, can’t you? I assume Lucifer passed some of his power down to you?”

MC stiffened and took a step back from the door. “How did you-”

“MC, I’ve lived with Lucifer for over five thousand years, I know his magical signature as well as I know my own, and yours is too damn close to his to be a wild coincidence. And,” Belphie gestured at MC. “You look and act like a mini him. It’s cute, honestly.”

MC frowned, cute?! MC wasn’t cute! But that was a… decent explanation..?

“So,” Belphie took a step back from the door. “Put your hand on the door, and try to open it. You might feel some magical resistance but if your magic is similar enough to Lucifer’s you might be able to open it without any difficulty at all.”

MC reached out, then hesitated. “How do I know you aren’t lying to me?”

“MC, you’re my brother’s kid. I don’t want this dumb fight between me and Lucifer to break my family apart. Besides, it’ll be nice to have you as a part of the family too. I don’t want to sully that by being stuck up here.”

Part of the family? MC’s eyes practically sparkled. A real part of their new family… they looked up at Belphegor and nodded.

“Okay, here I go…” MC tentatively placed their hand on the door.

It began to burn at an intensity that nearly made MC scream and collapse on the spot. Their hand was glued to the door as the door’s spell seemed to crawl its way up their arm. MC countered with the biggest burst of their own magic they could possibly muster.

The blast of bright blue that slammed into the door made it creak back and forth slightly, but the spell held its ground.

MC snatched their hand back and stared expectantly at the door. They swayed on their feet slightly as they looked up at Belphegor, who tapped the door. When blue sparks met his hand, he frowned.

“It didn’t… it didn’t work… I’m…” MC paused before they apologized, they didn’t have to. They tried their best, didn’t they? They just needed to get a better hold of their magic. “I’ll get stronger, I’ll get better at magic and then I’ll come back and open the door.”

Belphie sighed in relief and smiled at MC. “Thank you, MC. You’re really helping me out here, you’re sweet.” Belphie then crouched ever so slightly to get to MC’s level, and smirked conspiratorially. “You know, all powerful demons need snacks to recharge their magic, right? Mammon has a massive stash of candy that he thinks is secret hidden in one of the potted plants in the planetarium. You didn’t hear this from me though.”

They gave Belphegor a small smile. “I’ll get you out soon, okay?”

“I trust that you will.”

———

Disgusting.

That was the one thought that permeated through Belphegor’s mind when he first saw MC.

The thought remained throughout the entire first encounter, and the feeling of roiling nausea only grew when MC’s attempt to break Lucifer’s spell failed spectacularly. Belphie tried as best as he could to follow MC’s retreating form down the attic hallway, but his vision was limited.

A half demon. Truly Lucifer had fallen from whatever grace he still had left from a time where his youngest brother actually respected him.

A half human child. Did Lucifer truly have no self respect? A proud high ranking demon, the second strongest in the entire Devildom, in fact, had a half human child.

How monumentally stupid.

Belphegor was no stranger to half-demons, he had been alive far too long to have never come across one. A few hundred years ago they were much more common, running around the human world wreaking havoc and scurrying around the Devildom like scared mice. The duality always made Belphie smile. They may have been beings of pure terror in the human world, but their demon half could never compare to real demons in the Devildom.

Asmodeus held the unofficial record for most half demon children, obviously. As much as Belphegor absolutely detested humans, he couldn’t exactly fault his older brother. Asmo was the Avatar of Lust after all, and the Avatar of Sloth of all people couldn’t judge him for indulging in his sin every once and a while.

Hell, even Satan and Mammon occasionally had children pop up in the human world. The difference, the thing that made all the difference was that they never brought their… spawn home. They never brought their half-human little monsters into his home.

What gave Lucifer the right to do so? The right to bring that into Belphegor’s home? One of the beings responsible for the death of their sister. His sister. Did he not care about that at all?!

Belphegor collapsed onto the bed in the attic, ruffling his hair and shutting his eyes.

The brat couldn’t even break the door.

The thought almost caused Belphegor to laugh. The little brat couldn’t even break the door.

He cracked up, muffling his laughter with his hand. The child was Lucifer’s and they couldn’t even fully break the door. My my, how the mighty have fallen. It had taken over three months for Belphegor to even get close to being able to get into that little brat’s head to call them up to him, and they couldn’t even break the door?

Belphie’s borderline hysterical laughter at the sheer absurdity of the situation stopped abruptly as he looked around the room. Something-

Someone was glaring at him.

His eyes instinctively darted to the door, the most logical conclusion was that the brat had snitched and Lucifer was at the door. But the hallway was empty. The feeling of being watched made him shudder, then stiffen. He tilted his head and sat in silence. No sound, just the familiar smell of…

The Celestial Realm.

Belphie dragged a hand down his face and growled, lying back down and clamping his eyes shut. He needed to sleep.

So, that was the first problem MC had to face that month, the second was the fact that Satan snuck a cat into the house and he and MC were co-parenting it in secret. The third problem was Satan was still acting like a massive dickwad. All this fighting wasn’t good for baby Detective Toe Beans!

After receiving the “Lucifer got so mad he gave birth” talk from the other brothers, MC could have had their own rage-baby then and there.

I have never regretted typing a sentence more, but anyway, MC was on a warpath to find Satan.

‘Calm down,’ MC thought to themselves as they walked down the hallway of the HOL. ‘Don’t overreact, maybe this is all some big misunderstanding.’

The demon they were hoping to find was walking down the hallway in the opposite direction. Satan gave MC a half nod and barely acknowledged them.

“Hi Satan!” MC chirped, trying to sound as friendly as possible. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

After being so coldly snubbed, MC stood in the hallway completely motionless, until of course the little voice crawled its way up their spine and nestled in the base of their skull.

‘Who does he think he is?’

MC squared their shoulders and started after Satan, resolute in their totally non-suicidal goal of chastising him for his behaviour.

“Satan!” MC threw his door open and crossed their arms, the room was a complete mess of books and loose papers as usual, the Avatar of Wrath himself was sitting on his bed with his nose in a book. “We need to talk.”

“Do we now?” Satan drawled, not looking up from his book. That stupid encyclopedia must’ve been the most interesting thing in the god damn universe for Satan not to look up and see MC seething with a kind of pure rage only preteens we’re capable of. “Walking into people’s rooms without knocking is rude, you know. Let’s talk about that.”

“Honestly can you not be a smartass for a few seconds and just fucking look at me?!”

The sudden cursing got Satan to raise an eyebrow and look up. “What do you want, MC?”

“I want to know what the hell your problem with me is.” MC said, attempting to keep their voice as level and calm as possible. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you since I got here, and you’ve been nothing but a massive jerk!”

“Did you ever stop to think that I just don’t like you?”

“For what reason? What did I do?!”

“You look exactly like him!” Satan finally snapped. “Another Lucifer prancing around the house like they run the place!���

“So to you I’m just another Lucifer..?” MC asked, then let out a humourless laugh. “Are you… are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re pegging me as another Lucifer? You?”

Satan bristled, his eyes began to flash green, MC’s own eyes had begun to show a slight blue tint. “What are you implying?”

“I’m ‘implying’ that you, Satan, the one who was born of Lucifer’s wrath, calling me a copy of Lucifer is literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing.” MC snarled, almost every fibre of their mind was screaming to transform and teach Satan a lesson, but they held back. “You hate Lucifer, anyone with two brain cells can see that, but you don’t see how stupid you’re being?!”

In an instant Satan yanked MC up by the front of their shirt and let out a low growl. “Do you want to repeat that, half-breed?”

“You’re being an idiot.” MC’s bratty, teasing tone couldn’t fully hide the boiling anger that was just beneath the surface. “You think you have the right to demand that people see you as different from Lucifer, yet you don’t grant me the same courtesy.”

With that, Satan’s demon form was out and less than a second later so was MC’s. The half-demon’s foot shot out and hit Satan right in the knee, the Avatar of Wrath staggered backwards slightly which allowed MC to back away until they felt their back hit a pile of books.

The two stared at each other for a few seconds, daring the other to make a move, when the door to Satan’s room slammed open. There stood enemy number one, Lucifer.

“What the hell are both of you doing?” Lucifer hissed, his eyes flicking between Satan and MC.

“STAY OUT OF THIS!”

With Satan and MC’s combined shout, books began to shoot off the shelves and off the tops of piles. The books whizzed around the room, crashing into things and making the room even more of a mess.

“Both of you calm down!” Lucifer growled, both Satan and MC turned to shout at him again.

“JUST SHUT UP!”

Quick as lightning, a book shot towards MC, time seemed to slow as the spine of the book brushed past their nose as they stumbled out of its way. MC was out of the book’s path, but now it was speeding directly towards Lucifer.

Satan, most likely desiring to protect his book from Lucifer-germs, dove forward to grab the book while Lucifer prepared to catch it with an outstretched hand. The moment the two touched the book a blinding flash of light engulfed the entire room, leaving everything completely still.

Huh, well that happened. Argument paused, gather everyone.

Satan and Lucifer switched bodies… coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool-

Wait why are they staying in MC’s room?!

Lucifer (in Satan’s body) pulled the “you live under my roof you follow my rules” card, and MC got to work ordering a tent on Akuzon. Their tent, their rules.

“Satan! We have a bit of a problem with you agreeing to stay in my room with Lucifer!” “And what’s that problem, MC?” “Uh, I don’t know, THE DETECTIVE.”

Satan completely forgot that they were hiding a cat from Lucifer. Whoops!

When Lucifer stomped out of MC’s room later that day holding the cat the two knew they were screwed.

MC and Satan had to compromise their dignity and beg Lucifer to not take away their poor kitty. Lucifer just grumbled that he’d deal with this when he got back into his own body.

Body switching shenanigans were abound, Mammon and Satan were working together to make Lucifer look as ridiculous as possible without breaking any of the ground rules everyone laid out.

This all culminated in getting Mammon hung from the ceiling.

That night, MC tried to ignore Satan and Lucifer’s sleep talking, but it was a fruitless endeavour.

The only good part of that arrangement was the fact that Bean refused to snuggle up to Satan while he was in Lucifer’s body, and Lucifer didn’t want the cat near him while in Satan’s body, so MC got all the snuggle time with their favourite kitty.

While Bean’s intense purring was adorable, it wasn’t loud enough to drown out Lucifer and Satan’s rampant sleep talking.

“Fuck you Lucifer…” Satan in Lucifer’s body mumbled. “Gonna fuckin rip your head off…”

“Diavolo you can’t just get me another dog…” Lucifer in Satan’s body grumbled before letting out a snore.

MC rolled their eyes and looked at their cat. “Can you believe this shit, Bean?” They whispered.

Bean responded by pawing at MC’s face. What a big baby with such cute widdle eyes omigoodness what a baby baby-

Having enough of that tomfoolery, MC gently placed Bean down on their bed, and tiptoed out. They ended up doubling back to their room and grabbing one of their books.

Sneaking up to the attic a second time was much easier than the first attempt. It had been a week since their first encounter with Belphie and MC thought that he might want an update.

“So yeah… that’s what’s happening right now.”

Belphie appeared to be suppressing a laugh as he nodded and cleared his throat. “Mm… that’s… very unfortunate.”

“It’s not that funny.”

MC and Belphie stared at each other for a few seconds, before both of them broke out into a fit of giggles.

“Okay,” MC relented. “It’s kind of funny…”

“So, any updates on the plan?” Belphie asked, MC responded with a noncommittal shrug.

“Well, almost everyone has welcomed me in with pretty open arms, so I don’t think they’d question it if I asked them to come up here and get you out.”

“Almost everyone?” Belphie tilted his head as he leaned on the wall next to the door.

“Yeah… um…” MC quickly looked away and pursed their lips. “Satan… you know?”

“Ah,” Belphie’s usual lazy smile reappeared. “Satan’s going to be a tough one to win over. You know why, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Lucifer told you?”

“No actually,” MC mumbled. “Mammon, Beel, Levi, and Asmo did.”

Belphie’s eyes flashed for a brief moment, like MC had just offered him a present, but it was so quick MC barely took notice.

“I’m guessing he must be keeping a lot of stuff from you, huh?”

MC crossed their arms and shrugged. “Kinda… I guess. He kept you being in the attic a secret, he’s keeping the reason the Grimoire is in the Underground Tomb a secret…” MC frowned as all the strange little secrets began to come to light. Their father’s practically fanatical loyalty to Diavolo, the reason for the Celestial War, the reason no one talked about Lilith…

“Hm,” Belphie sighed. “It sucks that Lucifer doesn’t really tell you anything.”

“Mhm…” MC looked down at their feet, until they remembered the other reason they went up to visit the attic. “Oh! I brought you something!”

They held out the book to Belphie, carefully sliding it between the gaps in the door. “It’s a manga Levi recommended to me, I read it and it’s awesome! I thought you might be bored up here, so I brought it up for you to read.”

When Belphie took the book he stared at it like it was a completely foreign object, then his features melted into a smile. “Thank you, MC.”

“Right!” MC smiled proudly. “I’ll work on my magic, and on my relationship with Satan, then I’ll bust you out of here!”

Belphie chuckled and gave a thumbs up. “Good luck, kiddo. I believe in you.”

The seeds of discord were planted and the local attic cowboy was being one hell of a gardener. I need to stop typing take my phone away from me.

When MC left the attic, the first thing they heard was Mammon crying in the stairwell. It seemed that even the HOL’s ghosts were annoyed with all his whining.

“MC… help meeeeee…” “You’re hanging there for a reason, Mammon. I’m not going to disturb your punishment.” “MCCCCCCCCC!”

Don’t worry, MC did some sick maneuvers and cut Mammon down! Hooray!

“You now owe me a life debt.” “Wait what-” “We’re fixing my and Lucifer’s relationship with Satan.” “…kid if you smoked the weed in my room just tell me, I won’t be mad.”

No dear uncle Mammon, MC was not high on the devil’s lettuce, they were high on the power of family!

Time to fire up Doji Magi!

Obviously MC wasn’t the protagonist, everyone was trying to woo this random generic anime character (tm)

It wasn’t going good for anyone other than Levi. MC wasn’t even allowed to properly participate because Lucifer didn’t approve of his child getting involved in this degenerate anime stuff.

Too late Luci-goosey, your kid was a weeb long before they came to the Devildom

Of course, come graduation day, things got much more fun.

“THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!” MC screamed with delight as they swung a folding chair at an oncoming monster.

Mammon was having decidedly less fun as he dealt with his share of the monsters that had suddenly spawned into the game. “MC what the hell are ya talkin’ about?! This is crazy!”

“Can both of you shut up?” Lucifer said as he calmly snapped a monster’s neck. “Get to the roof, all of you.”

“This was very well foreshadowed I’m very impressed.” Satan said, Levi nodded enthusiastically.

“I know! All those hidden lore bits were so fun to find.”

“Wait, lore?” Mammon asked, he turned to MC. “What’d we miss while we were in fake detention?”

As the group continued to make their way up the steps to the roof, downing monsters left and right, MC turned to Satan and laughed. “You’re absolutely drenched right now.”

Satan smirked and flicked some of the monster goop onto MC. “You don’t look any better.”

“Ew!” MC stuck out their tongue and leaned to the left, looking behind Satan. “There’s a monster behind you by the way.”

“Ah,” Satan turned and punched the monster so hard in the forehead that its skull caved in. “Thank you, MC.”

The rooftop was filled with significantly less monsters than the rest of the school, and it uh… oh… hm… gamer instincts were tingling.

“Hey, this is a lot of negative space…” Levi picked a medpack up off the floor. “And an odd collection of healing items…”

“Where’d all the enemies go..?” Mammon asked tentatively.

“Better question,” MC piped up. “Where’s the music?”

Right after those words left MC’s lips, the door to the rooftop burst open, revealing a very familiar three headed doggo that MC and Lucifer so adored. It was Cerberus! Who looked positively murderous!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Mammon shrieked and hid behind Levi.

“Oh… that’s what all the dog imagery meant.” Satan said. “I thought it was odd that all the books in this school’s library had something to do with dogs.”

“Yeah! Aw, it all makes sense now!” Levi exclaimed.

“Cerberus,” Lucifer stepped forward and crossed his arms. “Sit.”

Cerberus, did not in fact, sit. He instead growled like a monster truck, and the acidic looking drool that was falling from his gaping jaws was an indicator that the giant pupper was quite hungry.

“Uh… bad dog?” MC offered. With that, Cerberus charged forward.

Mammon, Levi, and MC dodged to the left while Lucifer and Satan dove to the right.

“Shit! How are we supposed to fight Cerberus!?” Levi squeaked.

“Maybe we can- SATAN WATCH OUT!”

Cerberus had decided to ignore Lucifer and rush straight towards the fourth born, whose weapon of choice had just decided to break, and MC had a sneaking suspicion that Satan wouldn’t be able to punch all three of Cerberus’ heads at once.

“CERBERUS!” Lucifer shouted, causing everyone to freeze in place. “YOU LAY A HAND ON MY BROTHER AND I WILL [Hello, this is the narrator, Lucifer has asked that I censor what he said because he doesn’t want this to end up reflecting badly on Diavolo].”

It was thirty seconds into the very vulgar threat before Levi thought it would be a good idea to cover MC’s ears. Game-Cerberus whimpered and sat down, much to the utter amazement of everyone.

“Wow, I can curse in Latin now!” MC chirped.

“MC, you will forget what you heard.” Lucifer sighed.

“Of course, father!” MC said sweetly, they then leaned over to Levi. “Noooooot.”

Yay, the fam’s out of the game! L!MC and Satan both agreed that Cerberus would never in a thousand years listen to either of them and they should just depend on Lucifer to deal with their homicidal pupper.

Good news, in the days after the game, glasses related thefts went down 100%! Also, pranks relating to Lucifer’s coffee being turned into vinegar went down 83%!

Satan was chilling out :D… but Lucifer still had a speech to give and he was not about to trust the guy who filled the house with cats once.

It was time for a visit to the human world to go find a witch!

“Come on! I wanna see the horsies!” Mammon whined, hanging off of Lucifer in Satan’s body like a petulant little kid. The actual kid rolled their eyes and snorted.

“Let’s be honest with ourselves, Mammon.” Lucifer said. “You want to see the horses so you can find the one you’re going to bet all our money on.”

“Of course I wanna see the horse I’m gonna bet on!So can we gooooooo?!”

Satan in Lucifer’s body finished off the last of his gelato and scoffed. “No, we’re not going to bet the house on the ponies, Mammon. We’re going to spend it on-”

The high pitched shriek that left MC caused everyone to whirl in their direction as the half demon jumped up and down and frantically pointed at a sign. They were clearly trying to sputter out some kind of explanation of what had them so excited, but no one could understand a word.

“MC, calm down-”

“It’s the musical!”

“What-”

“I’ve watched so many analysis videos on this! Father! Father! The music in this is supposed to be insane! I wanna see! I wanna see! You gotta let me see!” Every single word was punctuated by MC jumping up and down to the point that Lucifer was actually concerned their wings might pop out and they’d take flight.

Right in the middle of one of their jumps, Satan caught them and held them up in front of Lucifer. “Oh dearest brother of mine, your poor spawn wants to see the show- hang on it’s this one?” Satan did a double take at the sign for the show. “Now I actually want to see this.”

Lucifer finally shoved Mammon off of him and got a good look at the sign, at least two out of the three people he was travelling with had taste. “Yes, we can watch the show.”

“Yay!” MC clapped their hands, then noticed their feet weren’t touching the floor and turned to look at Satan. “Uh, Satan, you know you can put me down, right?”

“No, I don’t think I’m going to do that,” Satan said as the group began their walk towards the theatre. “It’s fun having you up as a half-human meat shield.”

“Hey!”

A distinct interest of MC’s had been discovered by the rest of the group that day when they started rambling and explaining the intricacies of musical theatre and opera to a very confused Mammon. Lucifer and Satan exchanged amused glances as MC continued to rapidly explain increasingly more confusing parts of music.

“So that’s the main difference between recitative and an aria,”

“Uh huh…”

“So technically Hugh Jackman is wrong in his explanation that Val Jean’s soliloquy in the movie adaptation of Les Miserables is recitative because it’s more of an aria because Val Jean is basically screaming about his emotions.”

“Hugh Jackman? Wolverine?”

“Yeah, Wolverine. Anyway back to leitmotifs-”

MC’s animated explanation continued all the way until the four were sat down in their seats and the show began. Mammon, of course, started fully weeping whenever anything sad happened. It was intermission when Lucifer and Satan finally had enough of it.

“Mammon…” Satan rubbed his temples and glared at the sobbing second born. “I swear, if you don’t stop crying, I’m going to strangle you…”

“Do it like the Phantom of the Opera.” MC offered.

“What?” Satan asked.

“Lasso noose.”

Mammon loudly blew his nose and shoved popcorn a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Musical theatre is so fuckin’ weird…”

MC 🤝(being a musical theatre nerd) 🤝 Lucifer

So after the play, they hopped on the train and MC and Mammon stuck their heads out the window to baa at some nearby sheep. The sheep responded, Mammon and MC can speak sheep confirmed.

Of course, Mammon went off and got involved in the murder of the very witch they were trying to find.

“Only one version of events is ever true!” Satan proclaimed to the three unfortunate bastards that were also involved with the crime.

Lucifer looked from the dead body that was covered in a tablecloth, to MC. He made an awkward attempt to cover their eyes, but even he seemed confused by the action.

“Father, it’s fine.” MC lightly moved their father’s hand away and pulled something out of their brand new bag. “Satan, here!”

MC held up a Sherlock Holmes cap. “It’ll make you look more like a detective.”

“Thank you, MC.” Satan put the cap on and turned back to the crime scene in front of him. “I’m going to solve the shit out of this.”

Hearing those words come out of Lucifer’s mouth even knowing that it was Satan saying them made Mammon forget he was being accused of murder and laugh like a maniac. This did not help MC and Satan’s “Mammon’s not crazy” case.

MC and Levi had spent a week playing Danganronpa nonstop, MC was ready for this!

After clearing Mammon’s name, the ghost of the witch showed up and told the gang to solve her murder and she’d undo the body switch curse.

“The killer is, YOU!” MC and Satan pointed at the culprit with flourish.

“You have no proof!”

“I’m afraid we do in fact have proof.” Satan smirked triumphantly. “The other two suspects were too far away or standing up,”

“And the knife entered the body at a downward angle,” MC continued. “The only person close enough to stab the victim like that is you.”

“So suspect number 3,” The two said together. “You’re the dumbass who did it!”

“Did they rehearse this?” Mammon leaned over to ask Lucifer.

“No idea.”

Yay! Murder solved! Time for the life lesson!

“If only I had trusted him to be my apprentice…” “oh wow what a convenient life lesson, right father? Right Satan? Trust?”

“…” “…”

Satan and Lucifer got poofed back to normal and everyone got to go home. Lucifer, like in canon, lets Satan give the speech because he learned that he needs to trust his brother more and have a little bit of faith.

The speech is a success, and life returns to normal, but better. Satan and MC build up their relationship and after a few weeks, it was like the stuff from the beginning of the year never happened.

The attic was Belphegor’s favourite nap spot, though at the moment, Belphie didn’t want to sleep in the attic. He had been stuck up there for the past four months, and the only form of social interaction he had was sporadic chats with Lucifer or the half-human.

He must have been going completely mental up there because he was actually wishing he was talking to the kid, at least the brat was nice to him…

“Belphie!”

The cheery voice of the little “angel” echoed down the hall, Belphie found himself smiling at the sound, at least before he realized what he was doing. MC appeared at the door, practically bouncing on their toes.

“Belphie Belphie Belphie!” MC waved their DDD in the air.

“MC MC MC.” Belphie repeated. He leaned against the wall next to the door and yawned. “Nice to see you again, any updates?”

MC flicked through their DDD and gave Belphie a thumbs up. “I’ve been practicing my magic and stuff, but that’s not what I’m up here for.” They held up their DDD to show Belphie a picture.

“Beel’s team won their game-thing!”

The picture showed Beel in his team uniform eating an entire pie with a medal around his neck, the rest of the brothers and MC were posed for the picture around him. “I have no clue how this sport is supposed to work or what the rules are, but apparently he won, so that’s good!”

Any traces of Belphie’s half decent mood vanished as he looked at the picture. Everyone seemed… really happy. Levi, Asmo, Satan, Mammon, Beel, all of them, looked happy. Happy without him…

“That’s… great, MC.”

—————

Belphegor truly didn’t think he’d pity the human he vowed to kill. MC was literally a mixture of everything he hated, humans, Lucifer, Diavolo’s stupid exchange program… but yet, Belphegor felt pity.

The way MC lit up when they talked about the fun things they had done with the brothers and the other exchange students, how they went up to the attic to keep him company when they had a spare bit of time… they did all of that without knowing that Belphegor despised them. It was honestly pitiful.

Though, the Avatar of Sloth’s feeling of detest had somehow lessened. The little half demon had managed to get their hooks in him. Unfortunately for them, it only made Belphegor’s blood boil more. His brothers adored that little brat, it was plain to see. The half human had won them all over, like half of MC’s ancestry wasn’t responsible for the death of their little sister.

Belphegor narrowed his eyes as he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had been stuck up there long enough to have counted every knot in the wood, every nail and plank, and every spider that managed to crawl through the cracks. The familiar feeling of guilt began to twist in his stomach. His sister died because Beel chose to save him. He should have been more careful… he shouldn’t have taken her to the human world…

‘It’s their fault.’ Belphie tried to push any and all thoughts other than that out of his head. ‘That human killed her. If they had never met she wouldn’t have died.’

Repeating that over and over did not expel the roiling feeling of guilt that crawled its way up Belphie’s spine and constricted his ribs.

“I hate you…” Belphie growled. MC was the reason for all this, weren’t they? They were the reason he wasn’t with his family, they were the reason they could be happy without him, yet even repeating his declaration of hatred like a mantra didn’t make the guilt go away. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”

A sudden sharp yank on Belphie’s ear made him lurch upwards and look around the room. Nothing.

It was a childish gesture, wasn’t it? A sharp pull to his ear, a habit he knew all too well belonged to…

It belonged to…

…

Belphegor needed to sleep.

———————

Sup my witches, bitches, and bastards, we’re reaching the exciting part :D the part you angst hungry sickos (affectionate) are waiting for! ✨ lesson 16 ✨ next time, we’re doing the buildup, then after that, ANGST COUNTRY BABY!

Reblogs are very appreciated!

[midnightsunnyday]

No Crying In The Club (MC x Mammon)

Summary: the Avatar of Greed shouldn't be sulking at some bar while some asshole dances with his human, yet that's exactly what he does. Until the moment he decides he's had enough.

Word Count: 1,171

Warnings: slight NSFW due to cursing and implied sex near the end. Under the cut cause long post is long.

*****

Mammon hated the way you laughed. Not because he found it annoying, but because it wasn’t for him.

It was for That Asshole or the demon you seemed so entranced by. The way your bodies flowed with one another on the dance floor, lost within the music and each other’s touch. It was almost as if you didn’t meet 30 minutes before, with him throwing his cheesy, third-rate flirting at you. The way you smiled when he said you were “the most beautiful human he’d ever seen.” Ha, please.

Ok, he gets it. He shouldn't have thrown that first guy into a table or that second guy, or the third, but it’s not like he wanted to be near you. It's that Lucifer would kill him if anything happened to you. But instead of being grateful, you yelled at him, and like a scolded puppy he slunk over to the bar, pounding back shot after shot of Demonus like the world was ending.

“Now, what’s the Avatar of Greed doing alone at some bar?” some lower demon questioned, their hand gliding up his arm until it rested against his cheek. “How about I buy you a drink and we can make our own party?”

Corny pick-up lines aside, they had a point. Why should he of all demons be alone caring about what some stupid human did when he could have anyone here? Tonight the club was alight with needy souls fighting, longing for some form of vice. Their desire screamed to Mammon, sending waves of pleasure throughout his body. It was the same for Asmodeus, who was busy doing Diavolo knows what in the private VIP lounge upstairs. This was his domain, yet somehow he was the one being controlled. Mammon did a once-over at the demon before him. Any other time, he'd be connin' them out of their wallet. But right now, they were blocking his view.

Mammon yanked the demon's hand away from his face. "Aren’t ya being a bit too bold? What makes you think someone like me would be alone?”

“S-sorry,” the demon stuttered. “I never meant to offend you.”

"Yeah, yeah, now get lost," he said, shooing them away.

The demon slumped backward, disappearing into the crowd.

Mammon groaned. Look at him, turning down free drinks. What hurt more was the fact that he scared away so many people tonight, that he had to open a tab like a damn commoner. He was grieving, not only from the loss of his human but his bank account.

“Honestly, Mammon,” Asmodeus said, having finally appeared from his little love nest from above, gleaming with sweat and possibly, other fluids. “You’ve been sitting at this bar since we got here.”

Mammon took a swig of his drink. “Shut up. Go hump a table leg.”

Asmodeus lolled his head to the side and grinned. “Hmm, why not? I’ve already humped everything here.”

“Gross. Is there even an ounce of shame left in that body of yours?”

“Nope. It’s why I have so much fun. Speaking of which, look at our little human go.”

Oh, and weren’t you two having a grand ole’ fucking time? Both Mammon and Asmodeus watched you laugh as That Asshole spun you into a dip, hand placed on the ball of your back.

Mammon threw up his arms. “Doesn’t that piss ya off?” he yelled.

“Not particularly,” Asmodeus said, tapping his chin with his finger. “Though I do admit they could’ve done way better. I mean, he isn’t hideous. A bit more coordinated in his style than most I’ve seen tonight, but still nowhere as hot as me, of course.”

Mammon groaned and raised his hand to single the bartender for another round.

Asmodeus gasped. “Mammon no,” he clutched his chest with his hand. “You didn’t…open your own tab?”

Mammon could only give a pathetic whine in return.

Asmodeus clutched Mammon by the shoulders and spun him to face him, smacking him across the forehead.

"Ow, the hell was that for?” Mammon said and rubbed his head.

“You need to get your shit together. We’re Avatars, rulers, the HBICs,” Asmodeus yelled over the loudening music. "And when we want something," he motioned towards the dancefloor, "we take it."

“But they don’t want—"

“—Please tell me you aren’t this stupid?” Asmodeus paused, rolling his eyes. “Wait, don’t answer that. Of course you are.”

“Hey, would it kill ya to have some sympathy for your older brother? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of grievin’,” Mammon turned back towards the bar, only for Asmodeus to yank him back to face him again. “Oi, cut it out.”

“Do you think MC actually wants that demon? Trust me when I tell you that there’s not a whiff of lust coming off them.”

It was like a set of gears in Mammon’s head began to turn. “So you’re tellin’ me…they’ve been teasing me this entire time?”

"Duh," Asmodeus yelled. "My horridness, you're slow on the uptake."

He wasn't sure if it was the Demonus or his growing rage, yet when That Asshole stroked your ass, something within Mammon's mind cracked, along with the glass he was holding.

“It’s actually the oldest trick in the book,” Asmodeus said, admiring his manicure. “Though I—wait, Mammon.”

It took seconds for him to reach you, That Asshole you were with now a permanent part of the club’s wall. Not his proudest moment, but pride is Lucifer’s territory and he isn’t one for giving a damn about being sophisticated. Before he knew it, he had you by the arm, the prattle of patrons lessening as he yanked you up the stairs and into the VIP room, locking the door behind him.

He could give two shits about the little attitude you were throwin’. In fact, he didn’t hear a word you said. He was too busy thinkin’ about how your outfit cradled the curves of your body and how he wanted more than anything to feel them.

But as much as he loved your moxie, you still needed to know your place. Last time he checked, pets don’t bark back at their masters. So he silenced you, his kiss rough and wet. You tasted so good. Too good. His body tightened, prepared for your inevitable rejection, yet you only met him with the same greedy kisses, your hands roaming each other’s bodies, grabbing at places you shouldn’t, but were too lost in your own lust to care.

Finally, he pulled away from you, your eyes holding a hunger that he couldn’t ignore. “You’re mine, got it, human?” Mammon said with a cracked voice. He was like putty in your hands and you knew it, with that devious little grin you made. Being smitten over a human might ruin his street cred, but fuck it. You drove him crazy.

Finally, you laughed, and it was for him this time. You’re so cute, you know that? He wanted to hear more of that voice, his thoughts growing wilder.

What other cute noises would you make?

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 47 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

The lesson starts with Simeon and Levi laughing over how Lucifer forgot Diavolo in the game. Belphie complains about what a pain in the ass it was cause Lucifer made Belphie and some of the others go back into the game to get Diavolo and how Belphie had to start with the party at the beginning and so was unable to straight away teleport them to the castle and how as it was the second play through everything was harder and how diavolo had been so pissed he’d given them all the silent treatment, though Belphie did end up chuckling about how much that had freaked out Lucifer. Belphie says that as an apology Lucifer had finished all of Diavolo’s paper work and given him a free day off so Diavolo would be visiting. Levi says that he’ll be shutting himself in his room then and when MC asks about it Levi says that it’s not like Diavolo is coming to see him and it’s not like he cares about seeing Diavolo either. That truthfully he doesn’t really like Diavolo all that much cause he’s too serious and scary and cause they share no interests so Diavolo won’t have any idea what Levi talks about and how he’s scared he’ll say something dumb in front of him and piss Lucifer off. He makes MC promise him to him away from Diavolo. Belphie says that you shouldn’t spend time with a person you don’t like anyway. Simeon says that maybe you should take the opportunity to get to know a person better before you decide whether you like them. MC can agree with either Simeon or Belphie. Simeon then gets a call from Lucifer asking him to send the other 3 home cause Diavolo has gone missing.

At home Belphie says maybe Diavolo actually ran away from home to freak out Lucifer as revenge for the whole game thing. Satan and Beel greet them at the door. Satan to show them something funny and Beel to get one of Simeon’s sandwiches from Belphie. Satan takes them to the living room where Lucifer is pacing and screaming down the phone at Barbatos, yelling about not  being able to find anything yet and demanding Barbatos calls him the second something turn up and if he can’t get to him then one of the others, before keeping the call and trying to figure out who else he can call and traumatise. Mammon is trying to get Lucifer to sit down and calm down and breath for fuck’s sake. Mammon gets yelled at for his efforts cause how the fuck can Lucifer calm down when Diavolo is missing. Except, yeah Diavolo might follow a stranger if they offer him candy, but y’know Diavolo’s an ancient incredibly powerful being I’m sure Lucifer can afford to calm down a little but whatever. Mammon tries to get MC to calm Lucifer down and honestly I love Mammon so much he’s such a good brother is2g. If Mc commands Lucifer to stay he um “EEKs”? and then blushes about the sound he just made (I’m not into romancing Lucifer at all but am I the only one who thinks he’s turned on by MC’s power over him despite his whole Sadistic Dom personality? It happened once or twice in the very beginning of S2 as well) According to Asmo while Diavolo had been going through the portal to the human world Barbatos, who has the flu, had sneezed and now they have no idea where in the human world Diavolo ended up. With the saddest expression Lucifer says, “Oh Diavolo, where have you gone!?” and I’m??? You want me to let MC come in between that!!? Lowkey wish OM! Did something like the Arcana where when MC picks a LI, a couple of the remaining LI get together. In every version where MC doesn’t pick Lucifer I desperately want him and Diavolo to get together and in the versions that MC picks either Lucifer or Diavolo I want there to be the option for the three of them to be in a poly relationship, pls. MC asks why they can’t just call Diavolo and Mammon says they’ve tried a bunch of times but being unable to. Levi says he knows someone who might be able to help

Levi takes them all to his room and Asmo is in tears as he tells levi it’s fine if his friend is imaginary cause asmo has a lot of imaginary friends – aka in his words first he imagines a beautiful man and then a beautiful woman and then well he imagines them all fucking and the fact that this otome game has 11 LIs and not a single one of them is straight is just…beautiful. I’m so happy wtf. Levi insits his friend exists and when MC says they believe him he says that even if he makes other friends that won’t displace MC’s role as his friend. Lucifer tells him to cut the BS. And it’s Alexa!? Levi introduces them to fucking Alexa and I’m screaming sir pls. It’s called Crowe here though and he completely dismisses MC’s “fnkfjkjdjkjkdvjkfd pls tell me you understand wtf that actually is” by saying how Crowe is always up to talk to Levi about any interest Levi brings up and the rest of the brothers are greatly impressed while MC goes through a crisis in the corner. Beel asks if there’s a little person inside it who talks and casts spells. Belphie while blushing asks if he can talk to crowe and I can’t fucking believe after 3 seasons MC’s gonna be replaced by fucking Alexa. Belphie asks crowe if it’s Levi’s friends and gets a “If you say so” which Levi gets really excited about and what it likes about levi and gets “how he’s able to turn everything into a negative thing” which levi takes as a compliment and this is really sad guys but then again I did once spend weeks trying to get Siri to agree to date me so… Belphie then asks Crowe to turn Lucifer into a rabbit, it obviously doesn’t work. Levi asks crowe where Lord diavolo is and MC becomes increasingly more annoyed at being the only sane person in the room. Crowe obviously doesn’t know how to answer that.

Asmo asks about the sensitive spots on Lucifer’s body (wtf asmo c’mon) and Satan asks for Lucifer’s weaknesses, Crowe answers with “I’m sorry. I can’t answer that” which the brothers take to mean that crowe knows but is refusing to say. Lucifer threatens him to keep quiet and Crowe says he understands, Belphie is upset that Lucifer threatened crowe and Levi says he made Crowe sad. All the while MC is losing their mind and insisting that Crowe’s just tech, while the brothers all ignore and talk over them. In what is probably a fit of jealous rage MC commands the brothers to all sit the fuck down and explains to them that crowe really is just an electronic device. Levi refuses to believe them and insists Crowe is his friend. This somehow leads to Levi giving crowe Diavolo’s phone number and Crowe tracking his phone and Lucifer remembers “oh yeah shit missing boyfriend”. They end up in a karaoke bar. The sweet relieved smile on Lucifer’s face when they find him is everything. Diavolo asks how he looks dressed as a human and MC compliments him. Mammon scolds Diavolo for worrying them and Asmo says he feels silly to have been so worried now, Lucifer tries to herd Diavolo back home but Diavolo says he can’t go cause a note on the door (in devildom script) says the room is cursed and only allows you to exit once you get a 100% score on the karaoke machine. Asmo’s pissed cause he has a spa/salon appointment, Levi has a gamin event, Beel has a buffet and Satan’s pissed cause he wanted to think up of more cat related hashtags he could try searching up and I’m- Lucifer says it’ll be easier to do the task than try to break the curse using magic and Diavolo agrees. Belphie says Diavolo looks way too happy. And look I’m just gonna say it now cause we ALL know it – Diavolo’s definitely behind this and using it as some way to hang out with the others.

Asmo’s happy about being able to sing karaoke and Levi complains but is also searching for anime songs so. Belphie and MC think the situation is strange cause doesn’t being in the human world mean this shit doesn’t happen to them anymore? Diavolo says the bar is owned by the three legged crow group (aka yatagarasu) – the Devildom’s largest holdings company and developers of the D.D.D.. Their mascot (Blackjak) is one of the chat stickers. Diavolo’s the majority shareholder of the company. They’ve been expanding to the human world as well, mostly because of demand from sorcerers and witches. They also developed crowe, with Levi having a prototype. Levi realising crowe’s not a real person starts crying (and wiping his face on Satan’s clothes) about crowe got him tickets for a band and how cause Levi thought crowe also liked them he made sure to buy two tickets for both him and crowe and I’m just this is so sad. MC takes the opportunity to sweep in and say y’know I’m your friend and hold Levi’s hand to which Levi blushes and thanks them. Crowe’s the one hosting the Karaoke and says if one person manages a 100 score everyone can leave and that to make things interesting he’ll be throwing in some surprises. Crowe: All right then, party on! Diavolo: PARTY ON!!!!! :D Lucifer: *SIGH*

Asmo goes first cause he’s the best singer they have, Levi complains about Asmo being good at everything when he has nothing and MC teases him about being the Avatar of Envy. Asmo nails the first part of the song but in the interlude as one of crowe’s surprises Asmo starts hearing his fans screaming to him (which no one else can hear) and starts the second part a bit late so his score is 88. As punishment for not scoring a 100 Crowe kills Asmo. Or rather he sends him to be tortured till someone is able to score 100 and set him free. Lucifer, as expected, is not pleased. Levi is excited about how this is suddenly a game of life or death. Lucifer is very much not pleased with that. Diavolo’s also extremely pleased. Lucifer’s going through it. Mammon (who was so busy picking out a song that he didn’t notice one of his brothers got kidnapped) volunteers to go next. Though he’s not as good as Asmo he’s apparently a very good singer and once sang lead vocals in a band at RAD. Mammon chooses a love Ballad “Even if I wind up as a demon, I’ll always love you” and oh baby… the brothers immediately realise Mammon fucked up when choosing the song, Diavolo goes ??? and MC ignores them all to do  what they always do best and that’s to be Mammon’s #1 cheerleader (still can’t get over how much MC took charge and planned everything during Mammon’s bday event and had the brothers start giving him his little presents/notes a whole week before the actual date, when in every other bday event they just took a backseat role and let the others plan and fix everything up while they distracted the bday person. Whether you ship them together or not you gotta agree Mammon’s got a real special place in MC’s heart.) Anyway MC cheers Mammon on and Mammon blushes and stutters and then refuses to sing the song cause he realises he just picked to sing a love song in front of the person he’s in love with and tries to switch his song last minute. But cause he completely missed his cue to start he gets scored 0 and sent to hell. Satan says Mammon should be fine cause he’s used to that sort of thing. Diavolo: :D WOW :D THIS :D IS :D TERRIBLE :D ! :D   Lucifer: Really, cause your face is saying something else entirely…

They all sit silently looking sad for a bit. Lucifer says Asmo & Mammon were their best chances of getting out with perfect scores, satan wonders (with a sad expression) where they are and what’s been done to them. Levi says let’s be real Asmo’s probably getting off rn. Lucifer says they need to focus on who’s here rn and getting out. Diavolo volunteers to go next and Lucifer shuts him down, Diavolo whines about it. MC asks if it’s cause Diavolo is the heir and they can’t risk losing him. Lucifer agrees. Diavolo reluctantly agrees but in exchange he wants Beel & Belphie to sing next together cause he once heard them at a RAD festival and they were amazing. Beel starts ordering everything on the menu. Lucifer says if they harmonize they might be able to get a perfect score. The twins sing perfectly together and Dia & Luci are beaming until Beel’s food order finally arrives by materializing on the table all Hogwarts style and well you can guess what happens then. Lucifer seems uncharacteristically rattled and upset by all this and I mean yeah he has to slowly watch his family disappear in front of his eyes while he’s unable to do anything about it – this is probably his worst nightmare. Plus if they don’t get out chances are he’s gonna end up stuck in a tiny room for the rest of his life so

They’re silent and sad for a bit till Satan says that Levi sings a lot of karaoke alone in his room. Levi says it’s not really karaoke and that he just puts on his headphones and sings along with the opening but also how does satan know that!? And satan says, well who doesn’t know that and Levi freaks out and turn to MC and they’re like lol yeah sorry and Levi freaks out more and wishes for death while Diavolo very happily says that Levi must be very talented and that he’d love to hear it someday and Levi starts floundering and deflecting. Satan says Levi shouldn’t be so modest cause usually when they go out to karaoke he doesn’t let any of them leave till he’s sung all his anime songs and Diavolo asks if Levi’s being shy cause he’s there. Levi blushes while Diavolo keeps complimenting him and encouraging him to sing and MC remembering their promise to Levi bails him out by basically saying he’d be too nervous around new people to get a perfect score and Diavolo lets it drop after Levi agrees with them. Satan’s need to leave and watch cat videos becomes too great and he volunteers and Lucifer happily encourages him. Diavolo gets closer to MC and says so did you do something to Lucifer again? Had one of your therapy sessions? And MC teases and says maybe. Diavolo happily says he knew o=it cause usually Lucifer isn’t willing to admit how highly he thinks of Satan and he actually calls MC a “family therapist” and I’m so glad someone finally said it, at this point MC should be getting paid is2g. Satan sings his favourite ballad and Diavolo compliments his singing while Lucifer just compliments Satan as a person in general for striving to do his best in everything and facing challenges with a cool head. Diavolo laughs about how much praise Lucifer’s giving out and Lucifer says he’s just stating the truth. Lucifer says satan should get a 100 until the tv starts showing cat videos, Lucifer yells at satan to not get distracted and satan is able to resist it until it starts showing a pile of sleepy kittens curled up together, who are starting to doze off. It’s too much for satan to stops the song to coo at them, he gets an 83 and is taken away. Levi says that even though it was fun at first he’s starting to get scared. Diavolo asks if Lucifer wants to go next.

[firelxdykatara]

um not to start anything “zuko had everything handed to him by the end of the show even though it took him until nearly the very end to realize he’s wrong: a country, a crown, his girlfriend that HE left behind, the love of his uncle that zuko spent most of the show yelling at and being a dick to, and that’s why he just doesn’t deserve ANYWAY I’M JOKING but this is how y’all be talking about aang” who even talks about aang this why????

It sounds to me like some Aang stans grossly misunderstand criticisms surrounding the writing of Aang’s arc in book 3, in particular during the finale.

This is actually a pattern I’ve noticed with distressing frequency, particularly of late: any criticism of Aang at all--of his actions, the narrative scaffolding surrounding them (never having to apologize for kissing Katara without her consent, for example), or of the failings in the way his narrative was handled (in book 3 especially)--is written off as hate and derided by stans who I can only assume believe that the writing of his character arc was perfect and he never did anything wrong that deserves fair criticism ever in his life.

To this, I can only state my firm disagreement.

The thing is, they don’t really have any counter arguments to refute the points that actually get made (which isn’t to say there aren’t bad faith criticisms of his character just like everyone else, but unlike most of the cast, ppl seem far more inclined to act like there are no valid criticisms of his character or his writing), which is likely why they just write it all off as unfounded hatred of their precious bean fave and ignore it accordingly. But that doesn’t, like, make the issues with his writing, or with book 3 as a whole, go away, and the fact that they refuse to engage with good faith criticism (and, in fact, often refuse to engage with criticism at all by pretending there’s no foundation for any of it--I’ve actually seen people try to justify Aang’s actions in, for example, Bato of the Water Tribe by insisting that Sokka and Katara were actually worse and that Aang lying to them shouldn’t be held against him because they were Mean About It which.... yeah I could go off for days about that alone) says more about their lack of actual engagement with the text of the show than it does about the people who are criticizing his character.

The things that we say were handed to Aang--the deus ex lionturtle (which gave him energybending), the Rock of Destiny (aka the thing that gave him back the Avatar State without having to even attempt to do the work to unblock his chakras again himself), and Katara, presented to him as the prize he’d won at the very end of the show--are things that he did not do the work to actually earn.

Which will probably get some peoples’ backs up, so let me rephrase--the narrative did not put in the work to show how he actually earned these things, preferring to waste time with pointless filler in the front half of the season and then only bring up problems and then solve them within the four episode finale because they left no more room for these very plot critical points earlier in the show. Take Aang’s unwillingness to kill Ozai, for example--this is something that absolutely should have come up far earlier in the season (prior to the invasion at least), and the fact that it didn’t says two things: one, that because the writers knew Aang wasn’t actually going to face Ozai during the eclipse, they didn’t think it mattered to follow through on what Aang planned to do if the invasion had been successful; and two, his sudden clinging to his people’s pacifism seems directly at odds with where the entire narrative of the show had been headed to that point. Why is he suddenly insisting he’s the consummate pacifist when we’ve seen evidence in the show of not only Aang reacting in violence and vengeance (towards the sandbenders, and that wasp he killed), but also evidence that Air Nomads were not the sort of pacifists who would roll over and just let someone commit genocide (the fire nation corpses surrounding Monk Gyatso, clear evidence [which Aang never seems to so much as consider at any point during the series, despite the fact that it could have been a point of much-needed growth and maturation, or at least examining his own people’s beliefs and realizing that, at twelve, he had a flawed and incomplete understanding of his own culture] that even Aang’s mentor was willing to kill in order to protect his home and his people)? Why, if he’s so damn pacifistic, did he never seem to consider with guilt any of the lives he took while in the Avatar state and fused with the Ocean Spirit?

And no, by the way, I’m not saying he’s to blame for the deaths Koizilla caused, but I am saying that it doesn’t make sense that he feels no remorse over all of that blood. Particularly since we see that he considers actions taken while in the Avatar State to be his own--he feels guilty when he goes into the AS and scares his friends, and he very specifically removes himself from the AS to avoid killing Ozai, which tells me that he does consider the AS’ actions to be his own. And if all life is sacred to him to the point where he won’t even eat meat (although Air Nomad vegetarianism makes no sense, but that’s another rant entirely) why doesn’t he so much as mourn for the lives lost during the attack?

These are all questions which the narrative itself never considered, and it’s frustrating because many of them are questions which should have been asked--and answered, or at least attempted--in the course of the final act of Aang’s character arc. He had a great set up going into the third book, with Monk Gyatso’s teachings filling in some of the blanks in Aang’s (again, flawed and incomplete--I challenge anyone to try telling me that if they were completely removed from their culture at age twelve, and it was subsequently wiped completely from the face of the earth, that they’d have anything close to a deep and nuanced understanding of it; twelve-year-olds don’t have a deep and nuanced understanding of anything, nevermind an entire culture and worldview, which is why Aang kept parroting soundbytes from the monks without actually understanding them) understanding of Air Nomad beliefs, but this thread was completely dropped in favor of... I’m still not sure, honestly.

Was Aang running away from his problems and effectively lying to his friends (does he ever actually come clean about being completely unable to access the Avatar State of his own volition?) more important than going back to the Guru, or at least his teachings, and coming to understand his own culture? Where was his arc of regaining the Avatar State because he worked for it, because he tried to re-open his chakras and, for example, came to understand what letting go of his attachment to Katara really means? (That’s actually one of the most frustrating bits, because a) he gets to have his possessive and unhealthy attachment to Katara and get the Avatar State back, despite paying lipservice to letting her go at the end of book 2; and b) he never seems to get what ‘attachment’ the Guru was actually referring to--letting go of Katara doesn’t mean he had to stop caring about or even loving her, but it does mean he was supposed to give up his selfish and possessive attachment to her, which means no nodding when some actor in a play calls fake!Katara ‘the Avatar’s girl’ and no assuming they were supposed to be in a romantic relationship despite never actually asking about her feelings and no kissing her without her consent just because he wanted her to feel the same way about him and didn’t care whether or not she actually did [otherwise he would have asked, and he never once even tried].)

Instead, rather than having a season-long arc of re-navigating his chakras, opening them, and regaining the Avatar State under his own power, he gets thrown against a well-placed rock which does all the work for him at the very last second. Energybending, which wasn’t even thought of as a possibility earlier in the season, rather than being a concept he comes to discover on his own as he navigates his chakras for a second time and comes to understand the how the energy flows between each one, is likewise just given to him by a third party, with no work necessary on his part. And as for Katara, well, I’ve ranted at length about that in the past, but their last one-on-one interaction before the epilogue is when Aang kisses her without her consent, and she gets pissed off about it and storms off. There is nothing to bridge the gap between that and make-out city, nothing at any point indicating Katara’s feelings (because, as far as Kataang was concerned, her feelings never mattered) and how they were changing, no apology from Aang for violating her boundaries, no understanding of what he did wrong and why it was wrong. Nothing. Not a single conversation.

That is why we say that Katara was handed to him like a trophy. Because she was. Kataang was endgame not because it made any sense for Katara, but because Aang was the hero, and he saved the day, and he deserved to get his forever girl on top of it. There was never any real attempt to broach Katara’s feelings on the matter--she’s never shown reflecting on their pre-invasion kiss (in fact, by all appearances she completely forgot it even happened), and she is never once asked what her feelings are, not by Aang or the narrative--because, at the end of the day, they didn’t matter. Aang was getting the girl he wanted, and that was that.

We say that Aang was handed these things without working for them because the entire narrative of book three seemed particularly engineered to making sure he didn’t have to. Zuko, meanwhile, had to work for everything he achieved--the gaang’s trust, Katara’s in particular, his crown and his kingdom. (No, he didn’t particularly work to get Mai back, but that’s a whole other discussion, and he would’ve been much better off if she never showed up again after TBR.) He didn’t get to take any shortcuts. Aang’s arc is all shortcuts, at least in book 3, and that’s when they attempted to show how he got from point a to point b at all.

Anyway, the situations couldn’t possibly be any more different, and idk who said that but whomever it is clearly does not understand where the criticisms about Aang and his hamstringed book 3 arc are coming from.

[kyrievali]

I've been reading your posts and in one of them you mentioned that Iroh in fact is very shady and Azula has every right to hate him, may you explain why?

Sure, I’ll go into it. 

Let me start off by saying that I actually really like Iroh as a character. I think he’s great and well-written. I think the fandom tends to gloss over his flaws and label him as “perfect”, which is not true. One of his greatest failings (aside from making two teenage siblings fight each other for the throne...or really not intervening at all where Ozai is concerned) is his treatment of Azula, and him saying “No, she’s crazy and needs to go down” and essentially writing her off when, if you compare Azula’s personality with Season 1 Zuko, they’re really not all that different. Azula, people tend to forget, is a 14 year old girl who was as much a subject of abuse as her brother. Zuko and Azula were essentially pitted against one another to both gain Ozai’s affection and, more importantly, avoid punishment. The only difference is that she was rewarded and praised by Ozai for her power and cruelty, while Zuko was punished for his “shortcomings”. Zuko’s entire storyline proved how important it is to have a good, guiding parental figure in one’s life, and it’s tragic that Azula didn’t have that.

Now, let’s talk about why Azula probably hated her Uncle.

1. She thinks he’s a failure and, worse than that, weak

And I don’t mean weakness in terms of his firebending skills. Let me explain - Fire Nation citizens are ingrained with Nationalistic pride and complete loyalty to the Fire Lord from a very young age. Iroh, once upon a time, was the heir to the Fire Nation’s throne and the favored son of the notoriously cruel Azulon. He laid a 600 day siege against Ba Sing Se during which his son, Lu Ten, was killed. This tragic event caused him to withdraw his troops, despite having breached the outer wall.   

Upon his return home, his father dies under mysterious circumstances and decrees that Ozai will be the heir to the throne. Instead of contesting it, Iroh leaves the Fire Nation and ostensibly spends his time traveling the world, meeting with the Dragons, and getting in tune with the Spirit World. Doing so gives him the knowledge and wisdom to see the error of his ways, at which point he returns to the Fire Nation and serves as a General in the army. 

Let’s look at this from the perspective of Azula, or really any other citizen of the Fire Nation. Their country waged a nearly 2-year long siege against the Earth Kingdom - and right when they make progress by breaking through the first wall, the Crown Prince gives up because his son died. Countless Fire Nation lives and resources were spent on this 600 day campaign, and they end up with nothing to show for it. If you look at the philosophy of Sozin, Azulon, and Ozai, they likely would have used the death of Lu Ten to galvanize the troops and double their efforts, in an attempt to exact revenge against the Earth Kingdom for daring to spill royal blood - and so that their sacrifices thus far would not have been in vain.

And then, not only does Iroh withdraw from Ba Sing Se, he also abandons his duties and his country completely. Iroh had a reputation as a fearsome Firebender and cunning strategist - and he just leaves. So now not only is he a failure, but he’s also a deserter, one who abandons his nation while it’s reeling from a humiliating defeat and the loss of its Sovereign, Azulon (who, by the way, ruled for about 80 years).

In Azula’s eyes, all of this amounts to weakness, and as we all know from how she was raised by Ozai, weakness is unacceptable. 

2. She is parroting her father’s feelings of resentment

Given that Azula was the favored child of Ozai, it’s likely that she idolized her father and thought he was superior to her uncle, the Crown Prince (for the first few years of her life, at least, Iroh WAS the Crown Prince) and should have been the true heir to Azulon. We don’t see a whole lot of Ozai or his backstory/characterization, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that he, being many years younger than Iroh (it’s never officially stated, but Ozai is around 45 at the time of the show and Iroh appears to be in his late 60’s/early 70’s) had an inferiority complex growing up, and probably some form of sibling rivalry. After all, Iroh is already an adult by the time Ozai is born, and the Crown Prince, who has been groomed from birth to be Azulon’s heir. Ozai is an afterthought; an insurance policy, who at the very moment of Lu Ten’s birth, is outranked by an infant. 

Ozai probably resented Iroh his entire life, so it is not unlikely that Azula would probably feel the same way. 

3. He’s a traitor to the Fire Nation

Azula is a Nationalist and Ozai’s most loyal enforcer. Iroh’s a traitor, and as far as she knows, a corrupting influence to her brother, Zuko. She also probably thinks that he’s committing treason because (she doesn’t know any better) Iroh wants to be the rightful Fire Lord, and she is not going to stand for that. 

4. He reminds her of her mother

Azula is used to being the golden child - a prodigious Firebender, the favored daughter of her father, representative of everything the model Fire Nation child should be. And yet, her own mother does not appear to love her. Her Uncle has stated distaste for her. She thinks she’s doing everything right - because according to Sozin and Ozai’s philosophies and the emphasis of power and loyalty to the Fire Nation - she is; so why do two of her own family members prefer Zuko, the “screw-up” of the family - to her? 

It’s clear that Azula craves the love and adoration of others, but she doesn’t really understand it. I think as she grew older and saw more of the world and how people behaved toward her, she understood on some level that she was considered a “monster” and that people were afraid of her; but that’s how she was raised. Fear was power, and power was everything. And growing up, she was only ever positively reinforced for her ruthlessness and cunning by her father (of whom she is very much afraid, by the way...that is made perfectly clear in her attempts to bring Zuko home and also give him credit for allegedly killing the Avatar. Part of it is actually probably due to some level of affection she has for him, but part of it is definitely motivated by having someone else take the heat off of her in an abusive household) and she witnessed firsthand how perceived weakness was punished - so she did everything she could to achieve the ideal of perfection that Ozai, Azulon, and Sozin had proliferated. So she probably never really understood why her own mother and Iroh didn’t like her. And the fact that they both seemed to prefer Zuko, who she’s been taught to think she’s better than, would only further that resentment.

She thinks she can earn people’s affection by being a perfect Fire Nation soldier, because that’s what works with her father - and when it doesn’t work with Ursa or Iroh, two important adult family figures in her life - she doesn’t understand why and, even worse than that, it makes her feel inferior to Zuko. 

5. My final point is purely speculative, but...He didn’t do anything to directly stop Ozai’s rise to power

In the years after the war, after recovering from her mental break and maybe rehabilitating to become an advisor to Zuko (let’s be totally honest, a Nation whose entire economy for the past 100 years has been built on war and imperialization is not going to have an easy transition into peace, especially when they are expected to give up their colonies and play nice with an equally corrupt government that was controlled by the Secret Police force which has no qualms about brainwashing its own citizens...also the new Fire Lord is a banished Prince who is the apprentice of the Disgraced Prince and who returned to defeat the pride of the Nation, Princess Azula, Ozai’s Chosen Heir and the Conqueror of Ba Sing Se), Azula’s going to be pretty pissed that her supposedly wise and worldly uncle did not intervene in her megalomaniacal and abusive father’s rise to power. 

If my uncle, who never liked me, lost countless Fire Nation lives and resources in a battle that ended with him retreating, abandoned the Crown to go on a sightseeing tour of the world, returned and became a traitor to the nation by foiling the Admiral’s conquest of the Northern Water Tribe resulting in the loss of more Fire Nation lives, escaped from you multiple times and went on to become a tourist and small business owner in an enemy nation, turned your brother against you, did nothing to stop his own brother whom he knew was deeply abusive even after he came back after gaining all this supposed wisdom, and THEN also left you alone with your abusive father while taking your inferior brother under his wing and helping him become an extremely powerful bender who eventually defeats you with the help of a Water Tribe peasant...yeah, I’d be pretty pissed at him, too. 

To be fair, she probably never would have willingly gone with them because they were basically just sent on a wild goose chase at that point...but he never even tried to help her.

Anyway, that’s why I think Azula hates Iroh and honestly, she has every right to hate him. He abandoned her Nation and wrote her off completely, so there’s no reason she wouldn’t do the same.

[sophiamcdougall]

EXPLAINING SANREMO

(PART TWO) I am back. I have barely eaten or slept and Tumblr has tried to murder me and this post multiple times, but I have survived. Thank you for your patience.

Part One of my attempt to explain the seismic experience that is 2020 Sanremo Festival of Italian Song is here. 

Ready? I assure you, you are not, but let’s proceed. So Sanremo rages pitilessly on.  Now everyone knows what’s at stake, and everyone, including your humble recapper, is exhausted, but doing the gay/chaotic best they can.

As the final battle to save Amadeus, Rancore, Italy and THE WORLD approaches, Achille Lauro has a last message for the troops. And I’m not deducing this, he literally said it on Twitter. 

...Hold me I’m scared.

Meanwhile (sort of) (go with it) (time isn’t real at Sanremo)  a minor drama  has occurred offstage. Singer Tiziano Ferro made an ill-advised joke about Fiorello’s interminable comedy bits, some idiots on Twitter ran away with it, and poor Fiorello was upset! This is minuscule in Sanremo terms. But consider the flapping of a butterfly’s wings. Consider hurricanes. But who is Tiziano Ferro?

Hold on. We’ll get to it. For now ...

Fiorello is dancing seductively for an absolutely delighted Amadeus while dressed as a rabbit. And wearing a blonde wig. Is there a rational explanation for this? I mean, sort of. But also no.

And then he worries Amadeus might give him herpes, which causes Amadeus to freaking snap.

“No, no!” yells the mercurial Fiorello. Amadeus isn’t worthy of his kisses yet. He ricochets out of Amadeus’s arms and into the audience and “passes on” the kiss to a guy in the front row. 

“Incredible things are going to happen tonight!” yells Amadeus, who has no fucking idea. ”Beautiful things,” corrects Fiorello. 

But just because Fiorello is a mayhem elemental on a mission of love doesn’t mean he hasn’t got feelings. 

Enter Italy’s sweetheart, Tiziano Ferro.

Actually, Tiziano’s been there all along. He’s the specialest of special guests, singing through basically his entire back catalogue every night. Which why it really was unfair of him to pick on Fiorello --   it’s not his fault he’s literally got to stand there and babble nonsense for aeons on end, Tiziano! He’s just serving the hungry chthonic entity that is Sanremo, same as you.  

While the gay mayhem (the gayhem, if you will) surges around him, Tiziano  has been fighting the good gay fight in his own steadfast way, so far untouched. His mere presence is a message of hope in itself, he knows this, and is determined to make it count. Ten years ago he was closeted, convinced coming out would end his career, and suicidal. Now happily married and gloriously successful, he is here to demonstrate that “it gets better”. He radiates such wholesome joy and resilience that everyone loves him.

So anyway, Tiziano didn’t mean to hurt anybody because he would never, and now he wants to make things right. So will Fiorello forgive him?

Ah, what better gesture of reconciliation than to goofily sing a  love song written by Fiorello himself. Of course Fiorello forgives Tiziano, because Fiorello loves everyone, good and bad, (after all he loves Amadeus the most). But he is also a chaos being, and he is working harder than anyone else to channel the divine madness of this deranged Sanremo Festival into anyone who gets close. Tiziano, watch out!

Seems TIziano naively thought he could lean in for a staged, nearly kiss, but  Fiorello’s very soul is antithetical to “nearly” anything.

“My husband’s going to divorce me!”  wails poor Tiziano, but Fiorello has never felt so alive. This is Sanremo, bitches. Rules like “sixty-year-old men can’t be danger twinks, Fiorello,” have ceased to apply. He is an apostle of Achille Lauro, he has accepted the sermon of Benigni into his heart: it is time for PHYSICAL LOVE. While not quite ready (yet) to fuck everyone in the orchestra pit, he is throbbing with readiness, to frolic all over the theatre giving all the guys he can get his hands on THE KISSES OF HIS MOUTH.

Naturally this sparks further firestorms of chaos. “Do it again!” begs grizzled rocker and high-ranking competitor Piero Pelù. Electrified by the touch of Fiorello’s lips, he is later to be found running shirtless through the auditorium where he steals a handbag.

Everyone is kissing everyone, age and orientation be damned. Summoned by the gay sorcery unfolding, 65-year-old queer rock goddess Gianna Nanini manifests and is kissed worshipfully on the lips by 36-year-old duet partner Coez.

There’s also some kind of song competition going on I guess. 

This happens:

That’s Ghali, GUYS, IT’S NOT WORKING, rappers ARE DROPPING LIKE FLIES ALL OVER THIS STAGE, WE’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.

(...  it isn’t really Ghali and don’t worry. This is a gag? Which I still don’t really get? And nor does sweet anarchist cherub Fiorello whom we will later discover is currently being physically restrained from rushing onstage to tend to the fallen rapper’s wounds.)

The real Ghali raps in Arabic which among other things is a big old “me ne frego” of his own to Italian Trump-tribute act and failed wannabe prime minister Matteo Salvini. Then he gets close to Fiorello, which can only end one way.

All the boys are crazy for Fiorello’s kisses but Amadeus still can’t have any

It’s already a difficult night for Amadeus.  TV presenter Antonella Clerici enters and far from standing a step beside him, righteously rips the piss out of him, which to be fair he accepts with grace.

And as for Achille Lauro ... ...No.  Patience. The time to bear witness to the last stand of Achille Lauro is not yet come. There are other forces stirring at Sanremo.

Chaos has its dark side.

The gun on stage is cocked and loaded. This is it. ENTER MORGAN.

... and enter Bugo,  who trails in behind Morgan, looking dazed and haunted. But whatever, it’s a million o’clock in the morning, aren’t we all. 

They start to play.  Italian Tumblr dozes fitfully on its sofa, idly crackshipping Amadeus and Fiorello. Utterly unprepared.

So most of us don’t notice what’s happening ...

... until the music just stops.

No one’s paid attention to the Morgan and Bugo in days. As far as I’m concerned Fabrizio Moro has already been avenged and my bloodlust is slaked.  The song - apparently written wholly by Bugo - honestly, isn’t bad, but Morgan’s been tuneless throughout and their duet/cover last night was cringeable. There have been some major reversals in the rankings but at this point there’s almost no way they’re going to be one of them.  And Morgan is not happy.

So Morgan changed the lyrics (and this isn’t even last-minute improv, he fucking printed it) to attack the one person who still had faith in him, blaming Bugo and Bugo alone for their poor performance so far. On live TV. In front of millions. After screaming at Bugo backstage just minutes ago. And he expects Bugo to just stand there and take it.

"Me ne frego to that shit,” thinks Bugo, and becomes the unexpected self-care hero of Sanremo as he vanishes into the night.

And that’s how I learned the Italian word for pandemonium. 

Morgan has the absolute nerve to ask what’s going on. Amadeus breaks out in visible cold sweat. Fiorello is thrown bodily onstage to DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING, OH MY GOD.

It’s long past midnight and a bunch of worried middle-aged men in sparkly jackets are scampering around yelping “Bugo? Bugo! BUGO? BUGO!!!” and that, I am here to tell you, when you are already delirious from exhaustion and shitposting-induced hysteria, is more than enough to tip you right over the edge.

Italian Tumblr resigns itself to never sleeping again.The memes aren’t going to make themselves. 

Translation: ”Is Bugo there?” “What’s happening?” “Where’s Bugo gone?” “I have to go and see where Bugo is.” “Bugo left.” “BUGO!”

Morgan wants vengeance. Fiorello, adorably indifferent to the fact that he was shoved on stage to, you know, entertain the audience, wants to find the missing waif, wrap him in a blanket and feed him soup. So they both rush offstage and Amadeus is left alone in a living anxiety dream.

The audience are booing.  The 70th fucking Sanremo Festival of Italian Song is falling to pieces on his watch. For all he knows murder is going on backstage and he picked known powder-keg and scoundrel Morgan for the Festival. The buck stops with him. And he has no lines, no back-up, no idea what to do about it.

And then Fiorello, angel of misrule, avatar of lawlessness and love, strolls back onstage. He looks confident and relaxed, like a man with all the answers.  Which he is.

“Have you got Bugo?” Amadeus inquires desperately.

NO RULES, NO MASTERS, NO SPONSORSHIP MONEY. ME NE FREGO.

Everything is broken. And somehow everything is OK.

Everyone, Amadeus included, bursts into hysterical, cathartic laughter.

“Is this my fault?” Amadeus asks. “YES!” crows Fiorello, lovingly forcing Amadeus to face his sins and his nightmares in a healing atmosphere of radical acceptance and mass psychosis.

And that’s how Amadeus learned that the real Sanremo was inside us all along.  And what he needs in this glorious maelstrom was never a beautiful woman standing a step behind him. It’s a chaos pixie dream boy at his side.

It’s time to cast out toxic masculinity and become a better man.

So Amadeus wraps up the show as best he can and then out of pure human compassion, he and Fiorello personally wander the streets of Sanremo looking for Bugo until four in the morning.

Bugo and Morgan are automatically disqualified

And now let us witness the final passion of Achille Lauro. Who is this Achlle Lauro kid anyway? How intentional is all this? Is he the Messiah, or a very naughty boy?

SO YEAH. Anyway, everyone’s wondering what the fuck Achille and his producer/guitarist Boss Doms (yes, really) are going to do, and BE, next. Achille’s first three looks were inspired by St Francis of Assisi, David Bowie, and Marchesa Luisa Casati. 

So ... Freddie Mercury, maybe? Elizabeth I? Jesus Christ?  And after the flurry of kissing Fiorello whipped up .. 

Will they ... can they ... dare they...

Do you even need to ask?

I have no idea how the crazy bastards who guessed “Elizabeth I” did it. 

Achille thrusts his hips against Boss’s backside. Drops to his knees before him and lets the shape of the microphone speak for itself. Briefly chokes him. And throughout they are tender, elegant, and utterly, regally dignified.

And then, at last.

A  joyous chorus of maenad-like shrieks rings out across Europe. If you’re in the Greater London area and your ears are still sore, I’m sorry. That was me. 

That’s it. Achille Lauro and Boss Doms ascend into heaven and pass into history. 

Not even they can give more to Sanremo.

The dust settles. 

The dawn breaks.

WE FUCKING DID IT! RANCORE LIVES! WOUNDED (as are we all) BUT SMILING AT A WORLD TRANSFORMED! (Not only that but, after starting at the bottom of the leaderboard he’s been catapulted up into the top ten and wins the special prize for Best Lyrics!)

And Amadeus?

Well, let’s hear from him in his own words.

Because Fiorello asked him to, Amadeus is wearing a blonde wig to look like legendary TV host Maria de Filippi. Amadeus doesn’t normally sing, but because Fiorello asks him to, he joins him in song.“A WORLD OF LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!” they chorus. It’s the hymn of the new day. 

“He can make me do anything!” Amadeus sighs to the audience. So Fiorello asks him to slow-dance.  And they do.

The prophecy has been fulfilled. Amadeus has let love into his heart. He has surrendered to the holy power of gay chaos. He is a man reborn. 

He didn’t find Bugo on that long, gruelling dark night of the soul, because incredibly,  poor Bugo never left the theatre and spent the night literally hiding in a cupboard.

But he found something else. 

As Sanremo finally, mercifully approaches its end, Fiorello grapples him close and, all teasing cast aside, whispers fiercely in his ear:

And somehow it was.

And toxic masculinity?

To find out why don’t we - and I am sorry about this - check in on Matteo Salvini who would normally be rage-tweeting up a Trump-style storm by now. He loves bitching about Sanremo for being “rigged by the left”  or occasionally letting a non-lily-white performer win, and this year he even tried to organise a boycott. Let’s see how that’s going.

This, the gayest-ever Sanremo in history, is the most-watched Sanremo in 18 years, with an incredible 60% audience share.

“Me Ne Frego” flies to the top of the Spotify charts.  (And though the judges are still cowards and traitors who left Achille in 8th place, there is no doubt across the media who the real star of the festival was. ) And Salvini’s “boycott” just meant he effectively banned himself from making a peep about it.

So who won the festival?

ALL OF US.

Oh, you meant literally.

This guy. His name is Diodato and his song is called “Fai Rumore” (Make a Sound.) It’s fine.

And that was Sanremo. It wasn’t a dream, it was a place. And you, and you, and you were there.

[what-a-messsss]

2x3 rewatch

I keep forgetting that Brach is still in S2.  Oops.  Also, I apparently went to check something in S6 last time I watched something, so it started at 6x2 instead of 2x3 and I yelled.  But anyway, on with this mess.  “Death Came in Like Thunder” apparently.  It sure did.

Ah yes, let us not forget that Branch is MANLEH.  This shall be proven to us by him murdering his cousin, Trunk, with big ax.  Chop chop, Branch, kill Trunk.  But oh no, must also show that he is People Smart, so must also lose because this makes him likable.  And many white people clap.  Yaaaay.  But be sure to say, “I let him win, Ferg,” while your competitor is right next to you, so he almost surely heard you.  Good good.

Oh Ferg.  Could you look more gormless if you tried?  (I mean, probably not, since presumably that was the goal of the actor, so he would have been trying.  But still.)  Bb.

Heh, nice thematic cut to Walt also chopping wood.  And YAY, Henry’s gorgeous truck (and gorgeous self).  I’m just going to take a moment to appreciate the fact that Henry rolls up and just helps himself to some of Walt’s thermos of coffee.  Because of course he does.  But I do so love these touches that they put in that do underline the fact that they are married have been besties for going on 40 years.  Also, I love this jacket of Henry’s.  The woven top, jean jacket sort of one?  Yeah, top 5 costume pieces of his for me.  (Also on that list, all basically tied with each other, basically any pants he wears.  I am reminded, when they cut back out to a full body shot.  Because I am very shallow, and he is very pretty.)

Haaaaaa.  And of course Cady talked to Henry before she talked to Walt.  Walt is a butthead.  And, yeah yeah, she just found out that he’d been lying to her for over a year, but that just proves my point that Walt is a butthead.  And we’re back to this whole idea that she left her phone, which just... ugh.  No.  But Henry’s face when he says that she said that she is safe, and he’s so worried, but still willing to respect her boundaries.

“She is an adult, Walt.”  “She’s my daughter.”  For fuck’s sake, you jackass, your ADULT daughter; that’s the whole flipping point!  Also, that little emphasis on my daughter, pfft.  If you didn’t want to feel like she preferred her cool dad to you, maybe try being less of an AAAAAAASSHOLE.  And, like, respecting her.  Even a weensy little bit.

“Etta Place”  I don’t remember if we find out why that’s the ‘assumed name’ that Cady chose, but I’m intrigued.  Wait, I just googled.  Looooool.  She spent years with Butch and Sundance.  Nice.

Walt is such a soft touch with teens.  *snack crackle pop* that kneecap back into place.  Vic starts this scene saying, “The 911 operator,” though, which is interesting, because I was kind of under the impression that Ruby was the main dispatcher, so it would be kind of heartening if she actually had back up with that.  ...Or maybe they’re just far enough out that a cell call made would be picked up by a tower farther out and have to be routed back in to the station/them.  I have no idea how that actually works.  Another rabbit hole for me to totally not go down.  Hopefully.  Shit.  They’ve apparently upped the fine for trespass since the show, though, because it’s $750 (or 6 months in jail) now and Walt says it’s $500.

And once again, we see Vic actually wearing gloves while investigating a suspicious death, and Walt just squinting into the distance helpfully.  I suppose “things got bad” in Basque country around WWII, but there has been friction there that dates back before the Spanish Civil War, or even the Carlist Wars the previous century.  It did get gnarly with the dictatorship of Franco, and the formation of the ETA in retaliation, though, so yeah.  (Francisco Franco is also on the list of people who anybody with a time machine should go back and beat the shit out of.)

Shit, I forgot about the animal death.

Knock knock, no answer.  Better just wander in without a warrant.  I know that the guy who they know lives there is dead, but still, no fricking warrant; I suppose the worry of a poisoning could count as probably cause?  

Gods, but there are moments when I do absolutely adore Vic, and they are usually when she’s taking the piss out of Walt.  “Reclusive bachelor chic; you and Marco have the same decorator.”  Looool.  But also, sad, because Martha has only been gone for a little over a year, and Walt is not the kind of person who would, like, change stuff and get rid of her things, so that’s kind of odd.  Maybe Henry and/or Cady went though and put away some of her things to try to help Walt move on?  But damn, the ‘excuse you’ look on Walt’s face when she does say it, pffft.

AND AGAIN, Vic wearing gloves, Walt with his bare ass hands picking up the picture of Picasso’s Guernica; can you at least *pretend* you’re a cop, *some* of the time, buddy?

Lol at the barrabilak; they are pretty well by the Rocky Mountains, so it’s probably not all that surprising that Walt’s had some “Rocky Mountain oysters” before.

I had forgotten that Vic had four brothers.  But her comment about Sal going off to look after the sheep and how if someone had told her that one of her brothers were dead she “wouldn’t care about any damn sheep,” I don’t know.  It kind of annoys me.  It’s totally in character for her, which is good, but I think it’s part of what can annoy me about her character.  Different people grieve differently, but also, I know she’s only been in Wyoming for a year or two, tops, but how is it so hard to fathom that someone one would be concerned about their livelihood, even in the face of personal tragedy?  Just, seeing beyond her own very narrow experience doesn’t seem like something she’s very good at.  It would be one thing if she’d framed it as “this is suspicious, and here’s why I think so as a cop,” but it was, “I wouldn’t react that way personally, so it’s sus.”  

Sure, be suspicious because there’s a suspicious death and family members are always suspects until ruled out, but approach it like a cop.  Or at least think about it from more angles than just your own, not terribly similar experience.  You’re a white city cop who can’t (or won’t) adjust to being in BF rural-ville, but these are immigrant shepherds whose family come from a homeland where the cops were just as likely to kill you as answer questions, and you’re side-eying a guy for going to make sure that their meal ticket doesn’t get obliterated?

I need to keep reminding myself that I really did want to like Vic.  I really did.  She just... they don’t make it easy for me.  Maybe she’s serving as an avatar for audience who don’t know about some of the culture stuff, and the audience get answers from her ignorance?  But honestly, I wish they’d picked a different way to handle that, if that’s what they were trying to do.  Her response to Henry being salty about Thanksgiving still really pisses me off.  Because it was shitty and racist, and... do we really need a character basically rolling their eyes and saying, “It was so long ago, why don’t you just get over it,” about something that is intrinsically tied to the genocide of so many people?  Why are Indigenous people just supposed to “get over it” but “Remember the Alamo” and “Southern Pride,” and shit?  Fuck’s sake.  Honestly, that might have been the moment when they lost me on her character.  She has moments where she’s awesome, but they never really address her being fucking racist or give her a chance to grow into a better person.  Which sucks a lot.  Fuck.  Ok, that was a lot.  Sorry.  Back to the actual ep.

AH, nice of you to beam in from the campaign trail, Brancheroo!

Uh, so I paused it to look at pic in the newspaper, and then being me, started to look at the articles surrounding the pic.  And the one with the headline “Fans Injured At Local Game” is actually about the Stewart case?  From 1x3?  I’m guessing that somebody went to the trouble of writing up an article for that for some S1 ep after it and they just plugged it in because when not paused, you might catch “Sheriff Longmire” there and that’s all they need.  Especially since the text starts to repeat after the first paragraph.  (I am the worst pedantic little shit.)  Ooooor, maybe even though it’s S2, it’s hardly been any time since 1x3?  The date on the newspaper is March 31, 2012, so there’s a timeline hint. 

Awwwwww, once Walt points out the bird, Ferg knows exactly what it is.  Occasional twitcher, are we, my lad?  “A red-tip meadowlark,” indeed.  Oh bb; Ferg’s face when he sees Walt looking at the pic of him with Branch in the paper.

“You go too fast, you miss the little things.”  Every once in a while, he actually sort of mentors Ferg.  I wish he did more of that, especially since we see later how capable Ferg can be.

Go suck an egg, Branch.  Why does she get all the “good” assignments?  Maybe because she was actually on the job when they found the body, not campaigning.

OPE.  Lizzie’s gift.  Yeah, I’d probably choke on that coffee if I were you, too, girl.  Better hope that there wasn’t perishable food stuffs in that gift, because that has been in there for a whiiiiiile, hasn’t it.  Wait, was Ferg in the office when Lizzie dropped off the gift?  Because his face said more than just “Did somebody give Vic a present?”  Suuuuper subtle with that whole pushing the drawer closed with your foot there, Vic.  Pfffft.

“Cyrano Caballero”  How daaaare that skeeve take Cyrano’s name in vain?!?!  (I have a thing about Cyrano de Bergerac.  It’s quite possibly my favourite play, and I adore the character, and have exactly 0 chill about it at all.  I find Brian Hooker’s translation of “The Ballade of the duel at the Hotel Bourgogne Between de Bergerac and a Boeotian” with “Then, as I end the refrian, thrust home,” vastly superior to any other translation that I’ve heard or read, though for the rest of it, I will grant that there are others to be preferred.  But that version of his Ballade is exquisite, and I will not be swayed.  Holy shit, FOCUS.  That is so very much not the point.)  It’s not even a throw away line in this ep, it’s just a random, very well chosen, if utterly appallingly insulting, company name.  It’s actually incredibly clever for what the business is, and if it didn’t make me so stomping mad, I would applaud whoever came up with it heartily.

Vic’s face listening to this jackass’ spiel is a thing of beauty.  “A good woman goes a long way of easing the obvious stresses of your daily life,” the jackass says, cutting his eyes at Vic when he says “obvious stresses,” and I caaaackle.

What is it about this guys’ horrible glasses that just makes him so much more hate-able?  I’m not entirely sure, but kudos to whatever costumer put those on him, because they are perfect.  In the ‘I want to punch him’ way of perfection.

And after all of that about Walt’s “lady friend,” Vic brings Lizzie’s present.  Womp womp.  That went super well.  Yuuuup, run while you can.

Poor Ferg.  Branch manipulates him, Vic ignores him, Walt shuts him down...  Poor guy just can’t get a break.

I actually kind of like this motel manager--the one who “doesn’t judge people” and is a stickler for warrants?  At least somebody in this county cares about warrants.  Also, those doors are actually really pretty.  Nice colour, and the carved scrollwork designs are nice.

What an odd shot: the one when they’re coming out of Walt’s office after talking to Skeevy McGrossFace and Rosa.  It’s a weird sort of shaky-cam stepping back, just preceding Branch walking, and then turns to follow him when he sit’s on his desk.  But it’s a really different style of shot than I can remember, so much so that it’s a bit jarring, especially after the series of nearly stationary close ups that we just had.  Weird. [18:42-18-50]

Cady!  I haven’t made much note of her costuming before this, but it seems notable that’s she’s only in monocromatics.  Especially next to Fales in muted tones, but still some colour, and surrounded by the colourful grafitti of the alley where her mother was stabbed.  Nice way of setting her apart from everything.

SHEEPIES!  Ooooo, that wagon is so cool.  Ah dang, the way that Sal corrects Walt’s pronunciation of his brother’s name is so gloriously passive aggressive.  Good for you, my dude.  Names are important, and people should have the respect to make the effort to get them right.

Aaaaaand Walt, the definition of Do, Don’t Tell, just shoves the guy to keep him from drinking the possibly dangerous water, rather than, like, using his words.  Walt’s gonna Walt.

Iiiiiiiii am a mess, truly.  It cuts to an architectural model and I start giggling like a 6th grader, because I know it’s going to be a Jacob scene.  He’s not even on screen yet, ffs.  HANDS.  I’m fine.  Totally fine.  (That’s totally a lie.  I just rewound to the beginning of the scene because I kept giggling too much to pay attention.  What the hell.)  First time we’ve seen one of the chips, which at this point must be a marketing mock-up, since nothing is built yet.  And he actually types, not just doing the hunt-and-peck thing that is sometimes easier on a tablet.

Looking at the weaving that is up on his wall (maybe a rug?) I’m hoping that the prop people actually did buy from Northern Cheyenne artisans.  They apparently did most of their filming in New Mexico, so I hope they made the effort to get the patterns right, and buy from the actual tribe they’re supposed to be portraying, I guess?  And now I’m distracted by the fact that the random hanging light behind Jacob is at a weird angle?  

Look, ever since I realized that the “Hey,” that Jacob does is apparently just A (thanks to it also happening in That Damned Xmas Movie) I am endlessly amused (and charmed) whenever Jacob does it.  I don’t know why it makes me so happy, but it does.  (This is legitimately embarrassing.  How much trouble I am having focusing.  Beyond my normal focus issues, which, as shown above, are already impressive.  Because thiiiiirst.)

“My boys at the lumber yard did just throw you a campaign rally.”  I love how Jacob is basically apparently not just his secret angel-investor, but also a sneaky campaign manager.  Did Branch just think shit like the rally just happened?  He’s not fricking Ferris Bueller; somebody organizes those.  And apparently it’s either Jacob himself, or someone who Jacob appointed to do so.

“I thought you were just a casino developer.”  You have noooo clue, Brancheroo.  “I prefer to remain a silent partner.  White people get nervous when Indians start taking back their land.”  Oooooope.  Especially interesting because there are previsions for the Tribal Council to purchase land to be Tribal land (Section 6 of Article IX of the Tribal Constitution), but this seems more along the lines of personal acquisition.  Though maybe not, because “on the board” doesn’t necessarily equate to being the owner.

The set up of Jacob’s office is so interesting.  Functionally for the show, it’s probably for better shooting angles, so that we can see more of Jacob behind the desk while Branch is sitting in front of it, but from an in-the-verse decorating standpoint, bit’s fascinating.  He has this focal wall with the gorgeous wall hanging, flanked by floor to ceiling window, but instead of having his desk centered on that wall and directly facing the bulk of the room, it’s at an almost 45 degree angle on a huge rug, and it’s so unexpected.  I kind of love it, and want to analyze it for days.  Also worth noting is that pride of place is given to the  Hotamétaneo’o headdress which is on a stand centered in front of the wall hanging.

How fucking tired must Jacob be.  He’s used to Walt... Walting, but then Branch comes in, who he is literally spending his own money to support in his bid for sheriff, and he pulls the same shit of assuming that he’s behind Bad Shit.  And then Branch frames it as “bad P.R,” so he’s there to “discuss it with [him] privately.”  And then basically threatens him with Walt.  I swear.  ...there is something a little amusing about Walt being used as the stick in the carrot and a stick method of negotiating.  He certainly is enough of a blunt object most of the time.

Oh fuck you so much, Branch.  Playing the “can’t give you details about an ongoing investigation” card as though you have some professional or moral leg to stand on after basically blackmailing Jacob with Walt’s vendetta is just such shit.  You don’t get to look down your nose at Jacob’s quid pro quo pragmatism when you were the one who came to him for financial backing.  You sanctimonious little shitheel.  If you didn’t want to deal with Jacob, you shouldn’t have taken his $100k.  He’s a business man, and you’re an investment, and not a quixotic one.

“He’s probably the only person to have died from [hemlock] since Socrates.”  And then Walt’s incredulous look and her, “Alright, I googled it,” were subtle comedic gold.

Ooooooo, that was a nice little shot.  Not quite foreshadowing, but showing Branch’s suspicions and sort of inviting the audience to share them.  Walt says his bit about the Army poisoning “Indian wells” to kill them off and get their land, and then we see Branch fiddling with the Four Arrows chip and narrow his eyes considering and slip the chip into his pocket, looking suspicious.  It’s a really neat little moment of visual storytelling, no lines, literally three seconds long, just sort of snuck in there, but super effective.  Really nicely done.

And again, Cady is in monochromatics.  And, shit, just gave Fales Henry’s name.  Aaaaaand right after, she realizes that the junkie was killed and realizes that it had to have been one of her dads (or so she thinks).

Sal’s monologue in the cell is a good emotional payoff that plays off of Vic’s comments towards the beginning of the episode.  I see the narrative worth of her making them, and how the structure of the episode benefits from it; but seeing those writing elements from the outside of the show doesn’t make me able to like her as a character who said them in-universe.  And then the threat Sal makes of vengeance on someone who killed one he loves also underscores the stuff with Cady’s investigation into her mother’s death very well.  As much as I gripe about the writing *cough S6 cough finale cough* there really is some damn good writing in this show, and I don’t show enough appreciation for it.

Huh, and now there’s a sort of inverse of that weird shot preceding Branch from earlier, but this one is much more effective and less off-putting.  This one [33:00] precedes Walt as he walks back into his office, still a medium close up, but it’s much steadier, and the way it is framed, it does quite a bit to convey his mindset, and he walks out of the shot and we see the three deputies following him in like baffled ducklings, making the shot serve another purpose, too.  Which honestly makes that earlier shaky follow shot of Branch even weirder, because this one was so much better.

And then Walt has his creepy little speech about how someone would want to watch the light go out of their eyes and not caring if you get caught.  I do appreciate that when he’s talking about the psychology of killing with poison he doesn’t just call it a “woman’s method” which media so often does.  It might have been the writers keeping who the killer was abstruse, but it was still more gender neutral.  Especially since according to The U. S. Department of Justice's report on Homicide Trends in the United States (1980 to 2008) of all poison killers in that time period, 60.5 percent were male and 39.5 percent female.  (Table 5 on page 10.)  So that long held idea that even Sherlock Holmes was written to have that poison is “of course” a woman’s weapon is pretty crap.

Awwww, the good old days when Walt paid attention to animals.  ...I am still bizarrely salty about the fact that he never named his horse.  What a good pupper!  

And then we have a classic example of Sneaky!Walt, which always takes people quite by surprise, because he’s usually as subtle as Miley Cyrus.

Also because when he does this, it tends to be pretty fucked up, in a Make Someone Think They’re About To Die way.  And then he does His Thing, where he just lays out all of his suppositions, with no proof, only the terror of her thinking that she’s been poisoned and you’re withholding medical intervention to get her to confess.  And is, irritatingly, correct about his theories.  But I’m pretty sure this qualifies as coercing a confession?  She thinks she’s fucking dying.  Even Vic looks at him like it’s fucked up, and her moral compass where he’s concerned is... skewed.

They way this reveal was played out, (”How’d they find her so fast?”  “Hard to say...”) is somewhat ambiguous as to whether it’s supposed to be that Branch went there to tell Jacob or not, but I kind of doubt it?  I kind of figure that the meeting that Jacob was having when Branch rambled in was already with Rosa signing the paperwork.  Jacob is smart.  So, HAH.  Little good your “can’t comment on an ongoing investigation” schtick did.

And then the news that someone in law enforcement has been asking after Henry.

“Lizzie was waiting for you here tonight.  You should talk to her, Walt.  She seems to think she is in a relationship with you.”  ....omgs.  The tone.  I mean, yes, the blisteringly glorious SASS, but how does one not read that as incredibly shippy?  Howwwww?

“You are an honest man, Walt.  I would like you to stay that way.”  Oh Henry.  When did you decide that you weren’t?  Was it when you hired Hector?  Or was there something before?  ...I feel like there were things before that.  Hello darkness my old friend.

“It is not your job to protect me.”  “It is my job...”  THOSE WERE THE DAYS.  Those were the fucking daaaaaays.  And the emotions on Henry’s face after Walt says, “That was my right,” as though Henry cheated him of something.  I am so deep in OT3 feels I cannot even see daylight here.  The feels of them having been an OT3 and then Walt pulling this shit, and Henry having to defend his own “right” to avenge Martha?  It wrecks me.  “A good woman was murdered.  A bad man is dead.  End of story.”  

[spiralesbian]

ALRIGHT

here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:

(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)

SEASON ONE

sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!

her assistants are jon, tim, and martin

tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)

sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.

“tim……………………..did you die here?”

“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”

cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.

until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there

jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine

i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD

sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.

sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.

SEASON TWO

sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her

she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)

jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)

sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.

she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon

eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).

jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.

fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho

he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch

she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance

wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens

SEASON THREE:

uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story

(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)

sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.

helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.

sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!

back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!

tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped

(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.

once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point

anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked

tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man

so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.

tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad

the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes

instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.

hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.

[squishing spider noises]

SEASON FOUR:

martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.

sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up

(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)

meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name

sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!

(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)

melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)

tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.

gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?

instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”

they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF

idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3

“ah these are the statements.”

“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”

“.........Hello Sasha.”

(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)

SEASON FIVE:

“just. listen.”

“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”

sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).

helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3

oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)

not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3

i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!

[owlswing]

ROTBTD TAG GAME

Okay, so I was tagged by

@ohlooksheswriting-wips

! Thanks for tagging me!

Answer these questions and tag your rotbtd friends! And please don’t reblog this, put your answer in a new post 😊✨

Name/nickname?

My blogging name is Owlswing, but I also go by Owl :)

How did you get into rotbtd?

Oh, gosh... I was about 15...? Anyways, I liked all of the movies individually, and I ended up stumbling across some fanart of all four of them together, and then I saw tags like “the big four”, and the rest is kinda history. I got in deep on a dying fandom and never left...

What made you stay/come back?

Hahaha! See, fandom was dying/dead when I came around, so I never left. I just started a really long Hogwarts AU that is still not finished... (also after checking the timeline for the last question, I realized that said Hogwarts AU is almost 5 YEARS OLD! Maybe I should do something special for the anniversary???)

Out of the four movies, which one is your favorite?

I mean, I absolutely love them all, probably wouldn’t be in the fandom if I didn’t, but... I have to go with Httyd. Hiccup is just a really relatable character for me, and I just love the exhilarating feeling I get every single time I watch Test Drive. It’s just so beautiful.

Dreamworks Dragons or Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure?

You know, I think I need to go with Tangled Adventure on this one. While I love the Dragons series, I feel like Tangled did a really good job of staying true to the original characters while also adding more at the same time for more dynamic plots and such. I think it was just really well done, and there are no plotholes/awkward overlaps like there are sometimes in httyd (that could be because there are less movies so not as many toes to step on) but still, I think Tangled Adventures was really, really well done and I must give credit where credit is due! :)

Which one do you prefer to be made a sequel of, Brave or Rise of the Guardians?

It’s hard because I really want BOTH... I think I would prefer a remake of Brave with the original director, Brenda Chapman, because I feel like it would’ve been so much better if she hadn’t been taken off a project that was inspired by her own relationship with her daughter. Yeah. I’m still mad about that Disney.

But for overall sequel I would probably go with Rise of the Guardians. Brave seems like more of a stand-alone plot to me, so trying to shoe-horn in something else has high chances of being not so great *coughfrozen2cough*. Where as rotg has many characters with different legends and stories to be told, a whole book series to draw from, it’s a whole world that we’ve only explored one small part of, and I would’ve liked to see well-adjusted team dynamics/family-team antics of the guardians! :)

OTP/BrOTP(s)?

Ah, see I’m really NOT against any of the ships, I’m just not big on shipping in general. There are very few ships that I’m actually, ya know, Into. So I’m definitely more of a Brotp kinda gal. I love me some good, healthy, and strong friendships! Found Family? That’s my ish! Love that!

Favorite character(s)?

Hiccup. But there’s a special place for each of them. I’ve seen myself in each of them and nothing can really replace that feeling.

Favorite AU(s)?

Okay, I gotta say Hogwarts AU cause I’m chin-deep in that right now. Soon to be drowning. Simultaneously the best and worst decision of my life. Haha! Just kidding! Anyways, I like this AU because I’m really big on fantasy, and it just makes sense; why four people from completely different walks of life ended up in the same place at the same time? I think it’s pretty cool and it’s such a big world to explore!

Besides that... I would say a War AU could be cool, like medieval fantasy or futuristic sci-fi. Pirate AUs and Circus AUs will also always catch my attention.

Pick one! favorite B4 house placement in Hogwarts AU? | favorite B4 nation/bending headcanons in ATLA AU?

Okay, so for Hogwarts Houses I definitely have preferred Houses, but the whole system is so generalizing to begin with I really believe that any of the four could be in pretty much any house if you really want, but here are my preferences:

Hiccup - Ravenclaw

Rapunzel - Hufflepuff

Merida - Gryffindor

Jack - Slytherin

As for bending headcannons, I really haven’t put a lot of thought into it, but that question is very intriguing... I’d probably do something like...

Hiccup - Air, because the peaceful Nomad lifestyle and the desire to fly and explore and be free is just very fitting. Also he could befriend Toothless instead of a Bison, confusing everyone because they thought Dragons were dangerous!

Rapunzel - Earth, because for one thing I love breaking norms in this way! I love the idea of Rapunzel being the dainty, pretty princess but then she busts out some of the most badass Earth Bending moves, invents metal bending to escape Gothel, is just very kind but if you piss her off she’ll totally wreck you. I think this would be A LOT of fun. Also, I think it would be fitting with the whole “flower” thing. I also think it could be an interesting character arc where she’s not very good because her personality doesn’t exactly fit the “traditional earth bender attitude” and being raised by Gothel (”You? A bender! Oh, honestly Rapunzel, don’t make me laugh!”) could leave a lot of insecurities that she would have to grow and work through. I think it could be really beautiful.

Merida - Fire, on the flip side this one is kinda typical I imagine, but I would say (also on the flip side) make her afraid of it. Make it the one thing that Merida isn’t, well, Brave about. She doesn’t like fire bending. It could potentially make her a disgrace to her royal/noble family. It also would explain why she’s so good with a bow and sword: she chooses weapons over bending. Unlike Rapunzel who wants to learn but is hindered and must overcome, Merida would be against learning and would eventually have to learn that it is a part of her and learn how to accept it (after possibly visiting the dragons with Hiccup or whoever the avatar would be cause who the heck knows? could be interesting if none of the Four are the Avatar. Make a fifth character the Avatar and the Four could just be the teachers...)

Jack - Water, obvious, I know, but giving Jack ice powers AND another element makes him WAY to OP. I would say Jack is actually not a natural at water bending. He’s always accidentally freezing everything! (not unlike Katara). He has to work hard and earn his title as a master, eventually becoming the best because he trained harder than any of the others and surpassed the other water benders that used to torment him back in his home village! I also think Blood Bending could be an interesting plot device here (maybe Jack is tempted to use the technique because he’s worked so hard and still isn’t good enough? Or just in general Jack’s inner battle between the darkness and his fun-loving personality...)

......Dang it. I think I just started plotting something. o_o

Pick one! since this is 2020, any hot takes you want to give us? | what old fanon tropes that you still enjoyed to this day?

I will always love brotp between Jack and Hiccup! Absolute favorite. I also love the idea of the four having sleepovers and telling each other everything and overall being supportive and loving towards each other. All the positivity and fluff!

Any fic recs? Or if you couldn’t think of any, what was the last rotbtd fanfiction that you read? (It could be an old work or a recent one, do share!)

Uh... I honestly haven’t been reading many as I barely have time to write, but I did hear of one that I think is pretty good! It’s a pokemon AU by Acecove! I’ll link it below...

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13320856/1/Pok%C3%A9mon-World-Evolving-Together

Whew! That was a lot! Anyways, I’ll tag @emixa26 and @adaminaart!

[acfan120]

Finished Korra Season 3. Y’all know the drill at this point.

I think I actually hate Season 3 more than 2. If Season 2 had bad Side Plots and a Mediocre Villain, then Season 3 had pretty good Side Plots, but atrocious villains.

Like holy shit I cannot stress enOUGH how much I fucking hate almost everything about this Red Lotus group and their stupid leader.

I’ll start off with the one positive and say that I dig the water lady. It’s cool seeing a bender use an element to help their disability, and having the water tendrils is just cool to me.

I hate the Lava Bender. It’s an entirely new bending element that has NEVER COME UP BEFORE EVER  and is just apparently a thing. Like, how is this just not a thing that is more wide-spread taught in the fire nation? Like it’s dangerous as fuck sure, cause it’s Lava, but like come on. The only reason why it’s not lower than the Combustion Lady is that it gave Bolin something unique for him to do among the team, even if he probably won’t use it much since it’s still Lava. Side Note, I kinda hate how they keep making Bolin dumber each season. He’s not an ass like in last season, but he’s still pretty dumb, and it makes me sad.

I FUCKING hate the Combustion Lady. Like yall never fuckin heard my thoughts on it in depth, but I could NOT stand the Combustion Man in TLA. He made no damn sense from what we knew, had ZERO backstory, and didn’t even speak a word. Was he Mute? Part of a Clan of Combustion Benders? WHO KNOWS?? We barely know a damn thing about this dumbass either, except she was going to be a slave to some Warlord, which I at least appreciate is something. But you know what she also is? A Psychic Bender. I fucking hate the concept of the Psychic Benders, because they just exist without any fuckin explanation, and are just inherently more powerful with their element than others. I hated Combustion Man for being it, I hated Yakone and Amon for being it, and I fucking hate Combustion Lady for being one too. Screw Psychic Bending.

Also side note, what fucking Turtle birthed the Combustion and Lava Bending? We know from last season the bendings specifically come from the stupid Turtles. Can Bendings merge? Is it hereditary like normal bending? Who fuckin knows; it’s never explained in the show.

Finally, we get to Zaheer. I absolutely despise this dude so god damn much. This dude is the worst fucking written villain in the entire series so far. “Korra opened the Spirit Portals and now new Airbenders are emerging, and this well known terrorist has airbending”. Damn good premise, honestly. What’s not so good is that this dude is just SO FUCKING GOOD WITH IT. Like, WHY??!! We literally see people learning Airbending and the difficulties of it, so why in the ever loving fuck does this former NON BENDER know how to use this fucking element so well?! And don’t tell me that he “Studied Airbending Techniques”. That’s not how the bending fucking works. This dude beats the shit out of KORRA with Airbending, when he’s only had it for three months, tops, and that’s IF he knew he had it right away. This dude is just Strong because the writers say he’s strong, without any damn explanation for WHY he’s so fucking strong. His plan is also pretty stupid: “Some Leaders are bad so let Anarchy Rule!!!1!” Like fuck off with that shit.

ALSO FUCK THIS DUDE FOR JUST KNOWING HOW TO FLY WHEN IT HASNT BEEN DONE FOR A THOUSAND YEARS! JUST WHAT THE FUCK!?!

Also, Fuck the name, “Red Lotus”. That is such a god damn fan-ficy “Scary Evil Group” name. Like, i know it’s just the White Lotus, but Red, but this dumbass group pissed me off so much that the name just sounds stupid when attached to these fools.

One Last Note to end on: You really do have to feel bad for Korra in all this. The last episodes showed that the recurring theme for the show are People trying to rid the Avatar. And you just feel so damn bad cause you know she’s just trying so damn hard to protect the world and do what’s right, even when the right choice is so difficult to make. I really do sympathize with her. That’s why I get pissed at the stupid Uber Strongk villains just beating the shit outta her when she should be able to wipe the floors with these fools.

Please let this last season be good, ‘cause that final shot of Korra in a wheelchair, so tired and tear-filled just breaks my heart.

also still no signs of korrasami and wow now i can really get why people didnt like it.

[quietlysatan]

Can Your Friends Do This? - Watermelonsmellinfellon, AO3 (Though OP said they cross posted on FF.net too)

Link: Here!!

Rating: Mature

Favorite Quote(s): Because I love The Avatar show

"First, there are more than one dimension and more than one universe. Foolish mortals are the only ones to assume they are the only forms of intelligent life in their respective universes. This Earth we are on resides in a different universe altogether and consists of nations of people who possess an affinity with the elements. Some are born as mixes of two and use chakra to create new elemental affinities or abilities. This planet Earth parallels another planet Earth in another dimension of this universe, where there are only four large nations and each represents either fire, water, earth, or air, and with beings able to bend their own element to their advantage."

And these ones because these four are important.

1. "A lot of suicidal people didn't really want to die, they simply wanted the pain to cease so that living once again seemed worthwhile."

2. Hari was very firm on her decision. She'd always been the one rescuing people and never once realized that maybe she should have been rescued.

3. “Despite his wish to be Hokage and to be a hero, I realized that someone needed to rescue him first for that to happen. And so I took the job." 

4. "I've lost many people, and while it doesn't coincide with what others will tell you in life, it actually does get better. There aren't enough hours in the day to keep thinking about what you've lost. There are jobs to do, and people to watch over, and even your own health to consider. You won't have the time to recount every mistake you've ever made. And the pain from their distance will eventually dim and become tolerable. The only way it wouldn't get better is if you keep thinking about it all the time. People who are always depressed over the loss of loved ones are usually the very same people who think about them all the time, which ends up keeping them in their depressed states, to begin with. And then there is no progression."

A Fucking mood from Hari/Harry Potta/Potter

“I don't like exercising. I'm not meant for it."

Because Sasuke is an adorable little shit, which is, as always when it comes to him, The Best

Naruto was teaching someone Taijutsu? It was laughable at best, though he didn't actually laugh. That would ruin his image as the strong and silent loner. He couldn't afford for people to think he was nice or anything.

Because this is something important and personal to ME specifically

"This is all sweets. But they are sugar-free sweets. There are foods you can eat that will give you the energy you need without having a negative effect on your body. Bananas are a good snack. Watermelon, lettuce, leafy green veggies, they all have a lot of water in them. They fill you up quickly, can keep you hydrated, and because most are made of water, you aren't consuming fats and oils. Though do not replace every meal with these things unless you take vitamins and supplements on a daily basis. While there is nothing wrong with being vegan, a lot of vegans forget to take their supplements and vitamins. They especially need those because they keep so many important foods from their eating schedule."

Another Mood

To make it worse… she'd gotten her monthly visit from TOM. She named it TOM in memory of a certain arse who caused her a lot of pain and grief. Her Time of the Month, TOM, liked to mock her for at least five days out of every month and this month was terrible.

And last, but not least, the best thing I have read since I woke up

Potta Hari's cousin was not romantically involved with anyone, or so his sources said. Perhaps marrying someone to her would offer a better chance for an alliance between their clans?

A knock startled him from his thoughts, and he had to compose himself quickly. "Yes?"

"A letter has arrived for you, Hiashi-sama," Kosuke said from the other side of the door.

"Come."

The letter was handed over within seconds, and Kosuke was gone immediately.

When he finally got to the message however, he had to smirk in amusement. He should have known that making plans about a Seer wouldn't go as expected.

Dear Hyuga-sama,

No.

Respectfully, Potta Runa.

And this

Was Danzo literally the only bad person in this world who was bad naturally and not because he had some unfortunate upbringing, was bullied or was manipulated into being bad? 

Basically tbh 

Words & Chapter(s):  287,295 words and 20 chapters, unfinished, but worth it

Summary: Tsume Yuki's, 'Ain't Never Had a Friend Like Me' prompt.

Master of Death Hari is sealed inside a genie bottle and tossed into the Veil. Only the interference of Death stops her from being enslaved. When Naruto comes into possession of the bottle and frees Hari from her prison, she gets attached and decides to help him, changing everything we know.

Score: 13, this is very amusing, and has no qualms with having humor AND seriousness whenever. Not to mention, I could honestly go back to the very beginning and read it all over again and I’d still love every moment of it in all honesty.

Pairing(s): Hatake Kakashi/Female!Harry Potter, as well as Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, background Anko Mitarashi/Luna Lovegood

Warning(s): For all that this looks like a lot of warnings it’s just because this fic is well over 200K words, and it’s not nearly as bad as all these warnings look. There’s no major character death (Technically. A few from the HP universe passed before our MC even came into our universe. Still, only casual mentions so far)

Always a girlHarry still had to deal with all the abuse of her counterpart. The ministry betrayed her (Shocking. I know.) mentions of (CANON) past childhood abuse described three-quarters of the way through chapter three, then again in chapter four, no worries though it’s not graphic or gratuitous.

Mentions of death, and the things and ways that death may affect someone (This is a naruto universe crossover fic soooo, I don’t know what you were expecting honestly. At least it’s not as subtly/suddenly angsty as FMA fics get.), attempted murder that fails because Hari is the Mistress of Death (... Is Master not gender neutral??? I thought it was... Still, Mistress sounds cooler and more dangerous)

Mentions of porn, off-screen lemon, etc.

There IS a bit of fat-shaming from certain characters, but they eventually learn better, there are also mentions of children, and others, on diets, and also that have unhealthy eating habits and why they’re not good regardless, as well as the effects of being on a diet while also doing various exercises and rigorous training regimens, but not to worry, it slowly but surely improves.

Manipulation and grey morals, (Again shocking, I know.) which is great because my morals would go very dark very quickly if I were Hari (Because this is a crossover, and she is in Japan/The Elemental) and I’d for some dumbass reason decided to return to my original world (THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN THIS A HYPOTHETICAL WHAT-IF), but Hari doesn’t which is always amazing

World/Dimension displacement. Figured I’d add that just in case, personally I love those types of stories but you never know.

Kidnapping followed by attempted murder fails spectacularly. It is quite amusing to see for my inner sadist.

One of Hari’s family members passed away due to cancer, but it’s a small mention and there’s minimal angst because it happened years ago. The others seemed to have died in a war with the goblins which is only occasionally mentioned here and there.

Someone tries to enslave Hari as a genie. It does not work. Death seemed upset that someone thought that would work at all in the “Like, honestly, who the fuck do you even think you are???” kind of pissed

Danzo and ROOT exist. Sadly.

Also “ the lives of the many are more important than the lives of the few “ is something that seems to be a basic background of the morals of this fic. I know some find this detestable, but I would like to point out that, it’s true. It’s really fucked up, but unless that One has some very important and necessary ability, they are less important than the five-hundred and forty-two. Shitty as it seems.

There’s technically a war. If you could call the opposing sides... attempts a war. No major casualties or uber gruesome happenings though.

There are some injuries, of course, their big but not graphically described as far as I’ve seen up to the current chapter limit.

Pros: GREAT FUCKING WRITING!!! Great research and really immersive too!!!

Hari and Naruto because each others precious people, and Harry protects Naruto as best she, a civilian and witch, can.

The Japanese That Doesn’t Need To Be Written Because You’re Writing This In English And It Doesn’t Make Sense And Is Awkward isn’t present which is always a plus. 

It’s really unique and different from what is normally written in these situations (Not that there’s anything wrong with what we normally get!!!) from how a female main character reacts (Very Harry Potter-ish) and whatnot to her romance with other characters to her friendship with them, and also I love the way her relationships are with everyone! It’s just, so, refreshing for a female MC to be written like this, like getting that first bite of watermelon in the middle of summer, and jumping in the pool, or a drink of hot chocolate in the middle of a snowy night.

Not to mention! The way Hari interacts with the world around her and manages to change everything even though she wasn’t trying, and the way she still isn’t overpowered regardless for all that she can use her magic at will. UGH!!! IT’S JUST SO GOOD

Aesthetic: It’s like drinking fresh lemonade after a hard days work, like swimming in your best friends pool after you finish your homework, it’s like a warm cup of tea after a stressful day, and cuddling up to a friend or lover, like dancing to your favorite song while you’re all alone in your kitchen. It is like being alone, but not lonely, ad being with a few good friends but not ignored. It is freeing and refreshing and relaxing and exciting and new and old and so much more. It feels happy, for lack of a better word. Very, subtly, happy.

Gif Aesthetic: Oh my god yes, this is Hari

and this is what the romance in this fic reminds me of

and this somehow reminds me of several characters at once

And this one too sometimes, which is nice

and this (Except Boruto doesn’t exist obviously, I think this fic was actually started before Boruto even came into the picture actually) is what the fighting looks like

except for when it looks like this

Hari and Luna fucking everything up while everyone else watches and decides it is safest to just, not interfere with the crazy witches.

Hari, Death, and Luna/Runa planning who to fuck up protect next

Every single Rookie Nine without fail

(Scroll back up and look at how cute the slimy kitty yawns!!! She’s so cute!!!)

[calliecat93]

RvB17 Episode 12 (Season Finale): Theogeny

We did it, everyone! We made it to the finale! Woohoo!  It still sucks that it’s only 12 episodes, but hey we made it!

It has been one Hell of a ride, full of highs and full of lows. I loved things like Donut getting character development, and hated things like how confusing the time travel shit is. I’m not going to talk about those here though. All of that will be saved for my Season Review, which should be up later today or tomorrow. So stay tuned for that cause it is looooong! For now though, we need to unpack this finale because Lord knows how they’re going to resolve all of this in just one episode. So without further ado, let’s dive right into the grand finale of Red vs Blue: Singularity.

Overview

We begin with Grif still being pushed through drills, continuously shot at until the coach knocks him over the ledge. Fortunately, before he can meet Lopez’s fate, he’s saved by Donut who kills the Labyrinth's Avatar and frees Grif from his nightmare. Chrovos succeeded in sending Donut and Doc in, and they are unaffected because… ugh… because plot! Okay, maybe it’s because they haven’t seen the Avatar yet, IDK. Anyways, once Grif understands what’s going on, he immediately becomes concerned about where his sister is. He runs off to find her, which Donut thinks that splitting up is good and Doc is left alone. Chrovos encourages him to unleash O’Malley, which he is dead against. Nevertheless, he goes forward.

Doc finds himself in Wash’s nightmare, where O’Malley starts to take over. He’s about to do what O’Malley does, but Doc tries to reign him in. The two argue, O’Malley telling Doc that without him, he is nothing and no one likes him and all that stuff. Doc’s response? That if he sucks, then O’Malley also sucks. He finally takes control, essentially becoming both himself and O’Malley and he rushes forward. Wash his prepping his gun, ready to avenge his dead friends… just in time to see that Doc has already done the job. Yes everyone, Doc got violent willingly AND now has full control over his O’Malley half. Doc has become a badass.

We now cut back to Sister, with her and Grif’s house now set ablaze. Grif runs in, asking why Kai is seeing their home. Sister reveals that it got burnt down. She didn’t start it and their mom is okay (but in a trailer park), but it happened and since Sister didn’t replace a smoke alarm, it couldn’t be saved. Grif… is pretty damn pissed, but Sister counters about how Grif left her and their mom. Grif counters that he had been drafted and starts yelling at her for allowing this to happen… before being knocked out by the real Grif. Yep, that was just The Labryinth, not the real deal. Sister is understandably confused as Grif explains what’s actually going on to her. Still, Sister feels terrible for the house burning down… but Grif isn’t upset at her nor does he blame her.

It is at this point that Grif comes clean about something. So you all know the draft story? The one that was said to be canon for all of these years? As it turns out, Grif had lied about it. He wasn’t drafted, he had enlisted just like he said he did back in the first episode and last season. Why? He had been tired of his life. He was tired of his circus performer mom and the lifestyle due to it, tired of having to take care of a younger sister, and he wanted to have more structure than what all of that and college could give him. In other words, he ran away from his problems and as a result, ran away from his own family. He hadn’t meant to, but he did and he had heard about the fire, but he said nothing because he couldn’t face Sister about it out of guilt. But he’s willing to talk about it now, whenever Sister wants too, if she’ll forgive him. Sister, while tearful, forgives him as Grif shoots his copy, ending the nightmare.

Soon, everyone else is freed. Wash and Doc save Sarge just as he’s being sent out to die. Sister and Grif go to save Simmons, Grif telling Sister that they keep whatever he’s seeing private. Simmons vision… is so terribly done and utter bullcrap that I refuse to talk about it in the overview. But he’s freed. Donut finds Tucker, who… seems fine and snapped out of it himself. That is until Donut sees his discarded sword on the ground and asks him to pick it up. After all, only Tucker can turn it on. The others arrive, Doc shooting the fake Tucker down. The real Tucker soon emerges, having passed out from a panic attack. Everyone regroups, and only Caboose and Carolina are left. They don’t have to search for Caboose though, he’s already freed. Well, it’s been proven that alien AI can't affect him, so alrighty. That leaves only Carolina.

As before, Carolina is still facing her past self who is saying that if her mom and dad were already dead and her efforts worthless, then that means that she is already dead. It’s beating Carolina down… until she sees Wash and the others. This is all that’s needed to make Carolina realize that she’s just speaking to a warped reflection, and she’s not going to let her stay int he way. Thus we get our one and only fight scene in the season... and it is badass. Kinda hard to review fight scenes, but trust me, it is awesome. It ends with Carolina being knocked down… but she still wins. The others surround past!Carolina, aiming their weapons at her as Wash supports the current Carolina. The Carolina who found a new family, found something worth fighting for instead of just herself, and how any one of them can end her past self with just the pull of a trigger.

The illusion dissolves, and the past!Carolina reveals their true form as the Avatar of the Labryinth. He is trying to do his job of not letting Chrovos be set free, so Donut reveals that they’re there to keep her in and if they were, he’d have done it while in the prison room. The Avatar thinks over this, just as Genkins arrives. But the Reds and Blues seem to be gone, but the Avatar has the golf club. Avatar questions Genkins intentions as the only one of his kin around that the golf club would work on is Chrovos. He puts two and two together and starts to pound Genkins, even breaking his holographic form. Worst, the Reds and Blues reappear, all with golf clubs. Genkins is mortified… before finally realizing how there can't be more than one and that he is being affected by The Labyrinth now.

Genkins knocks Avatar into the Black Hole, ending the vision. But he is at his limit. No matter what he’s tried, the Reds and Blues won’t die or stay down. It doens’t help when Dontu says that Lopez died… but Genkins says that cant be because he’d have felt it. It makes Donut realize that Lopez instead was looped back to the beginning of time, just like Huggins. And that’s a major revelation for Genkins, realizing that Huggins was how the Reds and Blues kept finding him. But this also gives him a new idea: to go back to the beginning of time and make it so that he can wipe out the Reds and Blues form existence. He leaps into the Black Hole, Donut stopping the others from intervening.

As it turns out, this was Donut’s plan and the Avatar reappears, complimenting him on it. So what happened? Well, Genkins succeeded in going back to the beginning of time and becoming a God. He became Chrovos… literally. He created the Cosmic Powers, became more corrupt, and he became the true Chrovos. But as a result, his kin turned on him, used the golf club and Hammer on him, and is how we got to where we are now. The present Chrovos is informed of this, and all things considered, she’s unhappy but takes it well overall. As such, Chrovos’ plan ultimately failed, and there is only one paradox remaining: Wash’s injury. Wash accepts it and is ready… but asks for the others to be there, so that he won’t be alone. They all go through the Everwhen as Chrovos watches the final crack disappear, ensuring that she is trapped forever.

We cut to the hospital, where Doc confirms that Wash is stable and will be okay, but he does indeed still have brain damage. The timeline is restored with seemingly everything from S16 having never happened. They can’t see him quite yet, but this time they can properly be there for him for these next few months. Grif suggests that they get pizza, which they get on him about but honestly I’m on his side. Donut opts out though, deciding that he wants to be on his own for a while and do some traveling. The season ends with them realizing that Lopez is gone… but that he had been sent back to the beginning of time, so he’s alive. And indeed, he shows u alive and well and has many things to tell… too bad that they can't understand him~

And thus, this episode along with Season 17, comes to a close.

Review

Fuck man, just…. Fuck. Where do I even begin with this?

So overall, decent finale. It felt a lot less cinematic and dramatic than the finale last year, but it still did all the things that a finale needed to do. It wrapped all the elements of the episode and the season and gave a bit of an abrupt, but fitting conclusion. It also leaves a LOT open for future writers. Wash having to deal with his brain damage, the others adjusting to the change, Donut going off on his own, the Cosmic Powers are still around, and even Chrovos can come back in the future. It ended things, but leaves plenty of room for the future, so that’s good.

There was a lot that I liked here. The best scene was Grif and Sister’s talk. It kinda retcons Grif’s draft story, but honestly… I am perfectly fine with that because this works so well. The two clearly love each other, but they’ve also always kinda felt distant and awkward. This explains it. Sister felt guilty for the fire, Grif felt guilty for leaving, and neither one knew how to address it until The Labryinth forced them to. With how badly I felt they dropped the ball with Grif, getting this moment was very nice and it does work around to his character arc of finally owning up to his problems and dealing with them instead of running from them. It also helps Sister be a more three-dimensional character and completes her shift from a last-second addition there for sex jokes to a true member of the cast. The moment was so well directed, written, and Geoff and Becca’s performances were as perfect as they were heartbreaking. I really loved this moment.

There was ome other good stuff too. Carolina vs Carolina, while not as creative as last year’s finale fight, was super badass and a perfect way to let Carolina bury the past for good… hopefully. Cause the ‘Carolina is guilty’ arcs are getting repetitive at this point. Genkins actually being Chrovos is a confusing mindfuck, but it kinda fits as a Hoist by His Own Petard story and certianly not what I was expecting. Even when he went back to the beginning, he still ultimately failed to defeat the Reds and Blues and sealed his own defeat. I guess that present Chrovos was imprisoned for so long that she forgot about all of that… which makes sense considering how long she was imprisoned. I’m pretty much okay with the twist, even if it was a mindscrew. And I am glad that they didn’t chicken out of keeping Wash brain damaged. It sucks, but it just feels wrong to do away with that because it’s not how it works It’s part of his character now, and now he has to live with it. But he won’t be alone. He’s proven that he can handle a lot of bullshit, and this time he’s ready for it. I’m proud of him.

It wasn't all perfect, mind you. The reveal was still a confusing mindfuck and essentially retconned S16 out fo existence. I guess they all still have their memories, but I just don’t like that… plus it means that Grif never got a sword. Hey guys, fix that next season, please. Oh and Simmons nightmare was complete and utter bullshit and I hated it. At least Grif’s despite being mostly a joke you could kinda fit it for his character and he got his scene with Sister. But how does losing his penis to aliens enhance Simmons character in any way? Yeah no,t hat was terrible and I really, really hope that Simmons is given a better storyline next season. Maybe even let him be the hero next season since he’s never really gotten the chance. Just saying. Also, the ending was kind of abrupt, but they still wrapped up the important bits, so I’m okay with that.

Is it the best finale? No. S13 and 16 were gonna be pretty damn hard to beat though. I’d say it’s average but does its job well enough. And my anger about Simmons aside, I really enjoyed the finale. It also really does a great job at concluding Donut’s arc. There isn’t really a moment of them acknowledging that DOnut did well, which is a tad annoying, but he still proved to the viewers what he was capable of. He saved the universe and in a damn pretty clever way. Him leaving is a bummer, but he deserves it and I’m sure that he’ll come back. Very least, he feels accepted back into the group and I don’t blame him for wanting some space after everything. Overall, I’m super proud of Donut and whoever is in charge of writing is gonna have to keep it up. No more of relegating him to just the innuendo guy people… but a few are okay! DOn’t want to throw it out completely XD

Final Thoughts

As I said, decent enough finale with a few things I didn’t care for, but it overall wrapped things up. I’ll have more details about my thoughts on the season as a whole in my season review… which is currently 11 pages long and not done yet, so I’ll have to half it. But both parts should be up by tonight. But either way, I had so much fun reviewing the season as well as watching it. I will sure as Hell be back to do S18, and of course, I’ll be doing RWBY V7 when that starts. I’m also considering doing dome more RvB Commentary Masterposts since people seemed to like the S16 one (which one for S17 will be done when the DVD is out) and I’ll be writing another masterpost on the RvB panel at RTX. I have to watch it on a stream since I can't go (/SOBS/) but be on the lookout for it.

Well… as a wise pig once said, that’s all folks! thank you for reading, and I’ll see you all for my Season Review! Hope you’ll enjoy~!

[littlemisssquiggles]

Squiggles Talks: RWBY:  So the RWBY V6 trailer just dropped...

And this what the squiggle meister has taken from it.

Disclaimer: I’m putting my notes from the trailer under tag because it has been brought to my attention that the trailer was released earlier than schedule. 

Apparently Entertainment Weekly once again released V6 content before RoosterTeeth did and then RT just decided to share it even though they themselves haven’t released the trailer. Unless RT’s trailer has more footage and info than what I saw the V6 trailer provided by EW then…I don’t know. Either way, SPOILERS AHEAD!

 What Happened to Team JNR?

It doesn’t seem as if Team JNR would be travelling much with RWBY, Qrow and Oscar towards Atlas. I mean we get a couple of shots of them fighting so we know they’ll be accompanying everyone but then they just disappear for the rest of the trailer. Perhaps at some point everyone gets separated again, forced to split up to rendezvous elsewhere. 

At least, that’s the impression I got. This trailer didn’t hint much at Team JNR travelling with the group. On the contrary there is an entire shot at the beginning where it’s just Team RWBY with Qrow and Oscar protecting the front and rear. They also seemed to be joined by some stranger wearing a jumpsuit that looked like it came straight outta Bioshock. Speaking of this new mystery character.

The Shaman?

When did Maz Kanata join the RWBY Cast. Seriously, this little old lady character is giving me some mega Maz Kanata from Star Wars meets Katara from Avatar. She looks like she could be some kind of sage or…shaman? She has a staff and some weird visors as well. Interesting design.

Apparently from what I can interrupt, this lady goes with RWBY, Oscar and Qrow at some point in V6. I’m not sure if this is a sign that something happens for JNR and this old lady’s clan to be separated but…not sure. That’s what I took from it.

My only question is, who is this lady? As a said, she looks like she’s some kinda wise old sage of some kind. Could this lady be linked to Ozpin? Will she likely be some kind of mentor person? Why are her eyes covered? Is she an ancient Silver Eyed Warrior who is going to train Ruby on how to use her Silver Eyes?

I kinda wanna knock out her visors to see if she has Silver Eyes or…perhaps, y’know she’s just a wise old blind woman.

I gotta lot of questions about this lady because she reminds me a lot of Grandma Katara from Legend of Korra who became Korra’s waterbending teacher in her lifetime.

So I wonder if this lady is some kind of old sage who is going to train someone or provide some kind of new expository information.

New Themes

In the trailer, Salem mentioned something at the start of her monologue.

“It’s important not to lose sight of what drives us: Love, Justice, Reverence. But the moment you put your desires before my own, it will be lost to you.”

Let’s take away the three main words she said here. Love. Justice and Reverence. Could these be the new themes that Barbara was hinting at during NYCC that the volume will explore.

If so then, speaking honestly, I don’t really cater much for the justice and reverence themes because I feel like those themes will focus more on the villains’ side of the story in the case of Adam Taurus and Cinder Fall. What does peak my interest is the theme of love. Love can be explored in varying ways. There’s self-love, family love, platonic love and of course, the big one: romantic love.

If love is a theme that will be explored and tested this volume then I AM READY! I don’t want to set my sights on thinking that V6 will focus on romance or give hints at possible romantic ships. But…who knows? We’ll see.

Hail to the Goddess

As Salem mentions Reverence---a shot of character floating in mid-air is seen. I think…this character might be Cinder. The only characters I’ve seen float like that are the Maidens so I feel as if Cinder will return and will seek to gather herself a cult or tribe of loyal followers and subjects.

Has Cinder abandoned Ruby and will instead be going after Raven by building her own tribe of bandits and thieves who will come to worship her like a goddess because of her Maiden powers?

That’s my interpretation.

No Winter Threads 

Gee gollie, I never knew that Aura can also protect huntsmen from the elements because this is the only way to make sense of why Weiss is the only one to get winter clothes while everyone else are forced to walk in the bloody cold. 

At least everyone for the most part is covered up. Except Blake but I’m going to blame Blake’s immunity to the cold weather on her Faunus genes which probably makes her less susceptible. 

Not to nitpick here but seriously, CRWBY? You could’ve at least given everyone winter hoods and capes like Ruby. If you bothered to give Weiss a change of clothes you could’ve easily given everyone else a winter hood and cape. That would’ve sufficed over what we are actually getting so far. 

But then again, this is only going off the trailer and the trailer footage was probably cherry picked from like the first three episodes in the season or so. So maybe I shouldn’t jump so fast to complain about no Team HOODIE...yet.

More Bandit Tribes?

This shot intrigued me. That’s something I was curious about from V5. Since we got the Branwen Tribe, I wondered if there might be more bandit tribes around Mistral and it seems like there are. Cool.

 Fight to the Death?

Emerald vs. Tyrian? Whelp, so much for my theory of Emerald running away with Hazel and Mercury. That’s been flushed down the toilet as Emerald returned to Salem. Interesting.

Since both Tyrian and Emerald failed in their missions for Salem, does this scene imply that Salem basically put the two of them in a cage and whoever survives will be allowed to move forward? Kind of like the Hunger Games type of scenario where two enter but only one will be left alive to earn a second chance from the Queen of Darkness?

Did Salem single Emerald out as the weakest link in her forces after her outburst during Haven and thus decided to pin her in a death battle against Tyrian as her sick way of grooming her?

As much as I’d hate to admit, that…would be both twisted and cool if it’s true. I might actually respect Salem more as a villainess if she did that to Emerald.

Also...where are Hazel and Mercury? Were Mercury and Hazel sent off on a mission to pursue the heroes towards Argus while Emerald was forced to stay behind to fight to the death against Tyrian and whoever lived in the end will be send ahead to join them?

If that’s so then this also makes me excited cause it means Hazel and Mercury get to be alone! I could get my Dad of Boy moments with them 8D I should not be excited about this but I am!

Dark Link? 

Oscar is having visions? Someone made a point on the #oscarpine Tumblr tag about Oscar sharing a connection to Salem. To be fair, this does make sense. This was highlighted already since V4 when Oscar awoke from a nightmare having dreamt Salem talking to her inner circle. So…is Oscar connected to Salem via Ozpin? Does our farm boy share a link with the Queen of Darkness like how Harry Potter was linked to Voldemort and could see into his mind, the same way, Voldemort could’ve seen into Harry’s mind.

Will that be it? Will Salem be able to force her way into Oscar’s mind or…something like that? I wonder if Salem can possess Oscar through her link to Ozpin who is attached to Oscar’s soul?

Either way, my poor good son! Also Yang looks really pissed at Oscar in this shot.

Dar-Dar already pointed out that there might be some tension between RWBY and Oscar thanks to Ozpin. Weiss and Yang might not be eager on trusting Oz whereas Ruby and Blake may be more sympathetic?

Either way…something is happening to Oscar in this scene. Something wrong based on the way Blake seems to be reaching for her weapon. Is…Salem trying to control Oscar? What is up dude? I had already planned on giving one last musing on Oscar before V6 and this trailer just gave me more to talk about.

Also, Oscar yelling NO at the end. That gave me goosebumps. 

Guys, I am both nervous and excited for this new season.

V6…is going to be something else and I can’t wait!

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2018)

[youngbloodbuzz]

not sure if you've answered something like this before, but i noticed you follow critical roll and was wondering what your thoughts were on if the supergirl characters played d&d. what classes do you think they would they be?

oh SHIT now THIS IS A HELLA GOOD QUESTION. i’m gonna have to spend the entire day brainstorming this lmao

though it’s interesting, who they’d actually be in the dnd world might be different than a character they would play in a game, i’ll do both because i can’t help myself. 

[spongebob narrator voice] 12 hours later

kara 

paladin oath of devotion UNDOUBTEDLY (though an argument could be made for oath of redemption too, both tenets works with kara)

red k!kara however is definitely an oathbreaker paladin

would probably play as a druid of the moon because hELLO she can turn into ANIMALS AT WILL. 

alex: 

alex could go a few interesting ways

could possibly be either an arcane archer fighter or a battle master fighter

oR a war cleric 

OR a paladin of the crown

would no doubt play as a rogue assassin, she gives me those op sneak attack vibes with a stoic poker face like she isn’t pissing the dm off at all lmao

j’onn

i’m sTRUGGLING for space dad tbh. he could go many different ways with his various skill set i think

the clear answer is that he’s a paladin of the crown

or more experimentally, college of whispers bard; bard because they’re able to use disguise self and polymorph, and whispers because of obvious mind magic reasons (it’s not a very reputable college in bard lore so maybe he could also be valor for the lore reasons)

oR druid of the land

he DMs instead of playing after the first game they all played with winn DMing when it turned into a tpk because winn got too excited and neglected to balance the gameplay lmao

but no he’d probably play something like an order cleric if he’s being serious

or if he’s feeling like having fun and let winn help him roll a character, maybe something like an ancestral guardian barbarian (spectral warriors of your ancestors appearing on the battlefield in your aid???? hell fuckin yea)

lena

artificer alchemist no question about it. the ability to invent and create your own magical objects? pure lena. 

i feel like she’d probably try out the mystic class (probably order of the immortal or awakened) because it’s so complex and she’d probably break the game within three sessions

or if she’s not trying to Win and loosened up and having fun she’d probably play something like an arcane trickster rogue

(or she’d just play artificer alchemist cause that’s some cool shit)

winn

he could also easily be an artificer alchemist, but i also think he could be a school of invention wizard

he’d play something like wild magic sorcerer for fun lmao

or (because he’s a goddamn nerd) he’d be the best glamour bard you’ve ever seen 

james

a battle master fighter t b h. a million hits in 6 seconds? hell yea

would probably play a paladin of devotion inspired kara and clark

oR an evocation wizard cause he’s gotta live out his dreams somehow

sam

an accidental undying warlock, homegirl is so cursed

reign specifically is like an oathbreaker paladin 

post-reign, she’d be a normal npc because that’s what she wanted in the first place

or she’d be a phoenix sorcerer 

she’d play a monk of the four elements cause ruby said it’d be cool like avatar 

brainy

honestly? a mystic. an order of the awakened mystic undoubtedly

if my son thinks paint ball and escape rooms are fun, then he’s definitely gonna play either a inquisitive or mastermind rogue

nia

divination wizard is the closest i can get to nia, though it’s a class of self-taught magic unlike being born with it like a sorcerer would be

OR a druid of dreams

i feel like she’d have fun playing an arcana cleric

russian kara

for funsies, she’s a conquest paladin in my heart of hearts

i almost went with barbarian zealot but she’s been very…stoic so far, which is not to say her rage can’t be silent and cold