#I hate basically all of them so damn much

[valenteal]

Alright I see what you’re saying about the headcanons (which are not head canons so much a inferences from the information we have) BUT I have to clarify that multiple psychologists have explained that yes Anakin Skywalker has bpd. He has enough prominently visible symptoms to be clinically diagnosed if he were a real person. This is a fact.

Yes, some Jedi get glimpses of the future, or the past, but that is in no way the same thing as fully experiencing time in a non linear fashion.

I didn’t say that Jedi had ready access to that 4th dimensional view of reality, I said that the Force gives them a glimpse of what it could be like. we literally used the same word to describe it. I’m getting this from Yoda’s lines about how Jedi are luminous beings. But I'm also not just using the movies. (I'll get into my view on Clone wars in canon shortly.) It can be inferred also from everything we know about the Cosmic Force. Basically the Cosmic Force is that fourth time dimensional view of the universe while the Living Force is the fourth SPACE dimensional view of the universe. Sorry I’ve been being a physics nerd for the past few days all this is fresh in my head right now. Point is, the Jedi truly don’t see time as a linear thing even if they are for the most part confined to the present. They see something having existed in the past as never disappearing because the past is fixed and nothing can change that. The past still exists and thus everything that existed in the past will always exist and that is how they justify not feeling grief over loss.

And I want to be clear on something: I do consider the majority of Clone Wars to be canon and I do take quite a bit from Legends as well so not everything I say comes from the movies. But as a writer I do not see Clone Wars Anakin’s characterization as faithful due to stupid things like pandering to the audience who didn’t want to confront things like the complexity an nuance of mental health and toxic environments and relationships. Everything else, the characterization of others like Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Windu? The characters who didn’t get a ton of hate after the prequels were released? That’s all fine. It’s just Padmé and Anakin who suffered from deliberately butchering their character.

So all the Mortis arc, Yoda’s season 6 adventure to become one with the cosmic force and all the implications that go with it? Canon. The Jedi Council’s treatment of Anakin? Canon.

Exactly one Jedi made a big deal about Anakin being the Chosen One: Qui-Gon. That's it. The Jedi don't treat Anakin any different than any other member of their order.

This is patently false. His admission into the order was debated by the full council in front of him. That is extremely irregular. and even once he was admitted into the order he was at the level of Palawan at a young age and skipping the initiate phase. He grew up knowing that most of the council didn't want him there. Mace in particular made it pretty damn clear he didn't like Anakin.

We also know that Anakin was powerful beyond anything the Jedi had ever seen. it can be inferred that they would react more strongly to his emotional volatility than they do with other Jedi who aren't already seen as dangerous.

...I'm not sure what you expect the Jedi to do about that? Qui-Gon died, and Padme was a Queen who had to go back to her own planet.

Well they certainly could have handled it better than they did! Maybe it wasn't their fault but it was their responsibility to help him learn to properly cope. And it wasn't just that Padmé had to return to Naboo, Anakin literally wasn't allowed to be in communication with her, which I'm pretty sure was explicitly stated in Queen's Shadow.

That was a choice that Anakin made. Sidious didn't force his hand. Anakin made the decision that the chance of saving Padme - from a fate he didn't know for sure she'd experience! - was worth betraying the Jedi, worth murdering younglings, worth overthrowing the Republic and turning it into an Empire.

Now this. This is complicated. Because on a certain level you are correct. But he also wasn't in his right mind. He'd been fighting a war for months, hadn't slept in days, was being heavily manipulated, his entire support system was absent, and he was splitting all at the same time. and if you pay attention you'll notice that he resisted very very well. it was not easy for Palpatine to manipulate him into that situation. to even get Anakin to the point where he was mentally unstable enough to turn to the dark side took over TEN YEARS of manipulation. And after that it was actually the Jedi who played the ground work for him to continue making those choices after he became Vader. because the Jedi teach that once you fall theirs no going back, which is provably false but Anakin didn't know that. you may also notice that it didn't actually take much for Vader to return to the light side. Simply having one person believe in him was enough.

Addressing the bit about him not knowing for sure Padmé would die, I have to point out that even from Phantom Menace Anakin shows extreme reliability when predicting the near future. and he touted the dreams about his mother and as a result she died. If he'd responded to this vision just a few days, heck even hours, earlier Shmi could have survived.

That's why I call Anakin selfish and possessive. Because ultimately, he didn't care about Padme's feelings or opinions.

And this is where we come back to the BPD, which again is NOT a head canon but the opinion of multiple psychologists and people with BPD.

Anakin greatly values Padmé's feelings and opinions most of the time. to an unhealthy degree. to the point where his self-image is reliant on her opinion of him.

He was in the midst of a splitting episode. Here's a definition:

Splitting is a symptom of BPD. It occurs when a person sees everything as black or white, good or bad, or best or worst. Splitting is a defense mechanism people living with BPD use to deal with emotions (such as the fear of abandonment) that they cannot handle.

That's what was going on. He was unable to reconcile Padmé being against the side he'd chosen and thus could only see it as a betrayal. I also have to point out that he didn't actually choke her that hard or for that long. Her struggles weren't nearly as frantic as the could've been and later the medical droid made it clear that the was nothing physically wrong with her. There didn't even seem to be any bruising. Padmé shouldn't have died. And Anakin shouldn't have survived. And the Force can be used to drain life energy and transfer it to another person. Palpatine wanted Anakin alive and isolated, so killing Padmé to keep him alive would have been the perfect strategy. Anyway that's getting into theory territory so I digress. The Point is Anakin didn't choose to disregard Padmé or her beliefs, I don't even know if he was cognizant at all of Sidious's plans or what they meant. All he could really see was a black and white view of his side vs. the Jedi.

As for the unconditional love you say he needed? Padme did love him unconditionally.

Which is exactly why he was so desperate to protect her. Even beyond the fact that he loved her she was literally the only person who gave him what he needed. She was his entire support system. If the Jedi had supported him the way he needed things might have turned out differently. If he'd felt safe actually asking for help and being open about the details of the situation the Jedi might actually have been able to do something about it. But when he did go and ask for help he was chastised for caring and wanting to save someone from a possibly preventable death. Which is so messed up. Yoda didn't even press for details about the nature of the death to determine the risk of doing something. just claimed that sometimes the harder you fight the future the more likely it becomes or something. I don't see how Padmé potentially seeing a Jedi healer could have made things worse.

In conclusion the Jedi Order and its Council made a Buch of huge screw up when it came to raising Anakin and it ended up killing them and literally driving him insane. His mental health was their responsibility and they didn't just drop the ball, they threw it.

"no attachments" in SW literally just means "don't be selfish and possessive". that's it. that's all there is. doesn't mean jedi can't have friends and loved ones. they can. just. don't be possessive and selfish about it. don't murder thousands of people in an effort to save one.

[love-lightning-forethought]

Lore drop: The bite that damn near kills you

"M!" She got shook, getting pulled out the nightmare "M!"

"Wha- huh- what happened?" She jolted up.

Dorothea was next to her. M assumed that she was the one shaking her.

The other girls were there too, all watching her with concern.

Brook came closer. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

They all looked at each other.

'You were kinda screaming..." Finley said quietly.

SHIT

"W-what was I screaming?" She swallowed nervously.

"Someone called Willa."

"And?" M asked.

"You were muttering about someone biting you?"

"Oh god..."

"Um, do you want to share something with us?" Anastasia asked gently.

"You'll hate me." She shook her head, her hand subconsciously hiding her very first scar. "I'm a monster."

Brook sat down next to her. "Have you killed someone on purpose?"

"What?"

"Have you killed someone on purpose?" She repeated.

"No..."

"Have you assaulted someone?"

"No."

"Have you purposely cause someone harm?"

She shook her head.

"Great! You're not a monster!"

"If you haven't done those things, it's gonna to be pretty hard to scare us off."

She couldn't help the smile creep onto her face, but the little goblin in her head kept talking.

They'll still think you're a monster once you tell them

You'll scare them off

You're going to be alone again

Her smile flattered.

"M? Hellooo? Earth to M." Dorothea grabbed her attention again.

"Sorry." She said quickly.

"You were going to tell us something." Brook urged her to continue.

"Uh..."

"We're not going to judge you."

"Yeah, it's okay."

"No pressure tho."

All four of them were trying to be support, but it was coming out so rapidly that they were pretty much talking all at once.

It was overwhelming. It felt like M's hearing had been turned up to 10.

"I'm a werewolf!" She spat out, causing everyone to fall silent.

"...that's it?" Finley asked. "Dude, there's literal demons here. Demons. Plural."

"Yeah. You're a normal person like 98% of the time. It's like what, 12 hours a month you turn into a wolf? that's basically your period personified." Anastasia pointed out.

She just stared at them in shock.

They don't care... they really don't care.

Her eyes stung with tears.

"W-what?"

"Did you ask to get bit? Like, why would we care?"

"I don't know." She admitted.

"If anyone give you shit, we'll-" The next words out Anastasia's mouth would get someone banned from YouTube.

"That was graphic." Finley blinked.

"damn right."

M chuckled. "I'm glad we met."

"Us too, M. Us too."

boom bam reveal number one is out

not the exciting reveal but it's a reveal nonetheless

also like lore drop

@arisdaughter @childofthewargod @dianedantedominic @theorphicforest

@that-girl-cupid @ithacas-prince @daonedaonlyskh @hispanic-child-of-hermes @aria-pane @unhinged-waterlilly

@chaos-pers0nified @ariathemortal @i-was-never-sane @gaygirldoodles @smileyalater

@if-i-could-cry-i-wouldnt @startswithahell

If you want to be added, removed or if I forgot to tag you, let me know :)

[alipeeps]

Episode 19

SERIOUS SPOILERS in this one, jfc do NOT read ahead if you have not already watched ep 19!! 😭😭

Wait where did all the other demons go? We only saw Li Lun let one out and leave with her.

"You're the reason I have nothing" says Li Lun??

Ooooh Li Lun killed all the people keeping the demons in cages... and the "fight" we saw a glimpse of earlier was Zhu Yan stopping Li Lun from killing one more person.

So Zhu Yan was trying to stop Li Lun from indiscriminate killing, which would surely get him in trouble, and Li Lun saw it as Zhu Yan putting humans over demons and protecting people who had hurt demons...

Oh SHIT!! Oh wait! That flare of power when he stopped him was NOT intentional! It was the ever-burning fire branch that was absorbed into Zhu Yan.... and Li Lun is a fucking tree demon! He accidentally kinda set him on fire?

He didn't mean to hurt you Li Lun, just to stop you from killing!

Shit he killed the clinic patients, not even the bad guys who imprisoned the demons. As I said, indiscriminate killing. But as far as Li Lun is concerned, all humans are the same, all are guilty...

Okay point of order, how come Li Lun calls him Zhao Yuanzhou in these flashbacks? Cos I thought he only got given that name by the Baize Goddess, and I thought he only started spending time with her later on, when he was mired in sadness? The Zhu Yan in these scenes is still young and (relatively) carefree?

Uh, your Zhuo Yichen fanboy is showing Zhu Yan...

Ayyy gang to the rescue!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! What the fuck did you do to my baby boy?!!!

Divine power?! Is Bai Jiu part-god? Is he like Ying Lei and half-demon, half-god?

Ugh, Zhu Yan telling the others to get Bai Jiu to safety and confronting Li Lun alone... except he is NOT alone because Zhou Yichen stayed with him!

Oh dang. Well, she wasn't wrong that Li Lun would want to torture her in front of Zhu Yan.

Ooooh so he WAS trying to curse her and control her into hating Zhu Yan.

Another thing I love about this drama is the realism... which sounds daft to say about a very much fantasy drama but what I mean is bits like this... when the script/story calls for a character to get wet/be submerged in water... they actually DO it. There's no CGI/fake underwater scenes, and no actors with hair and clothing that has basically just been spritzed so it is barely damp... they actually get them properly submerged and wet.

Yes boi, use that ice water power!!

Damn boy, you so fucken cool...

Oooh he cut him with a blade coated in his own blood... and therefore malicious energy...

"I now carry blood with malicious energy"... meaning.. he didn't before? Or just... his malicious qi levels weren't previously high enough that it infected his blood too? I mean... Li Lun obviously knew about him absorbing malicious qi, hence the whole blood moon plot...

Oh fucking GO Wen Xiao!!

Took that fucker by complete surprise and swiped his weapon right out of his hands!!

Smash it! See how he fucking likes it!

Okay that was dumb, you decided to try and use it instead.

Oooh we saw that earlier when he escaped after the seal was broken - the skin on his arm is turning woodlike...

Yup... as I had surmised... Zhu Yan accidentally damaged him with the ever-burning fire back then... and because he is a tree demon... the fire of that burn has never gone out. He's been burning in agony ever since.

Aaaaaand that's another nice helping of guilt for Zhu Yan, who no matter how he tries seems to keep hurting people due to things that are out of his control...

Oh shiiiiit so being sealed by the baize token actually controlled the fire from the ever-burning wood. Otherwise he would have burned to ashes.

So if she hadn't sealed him, he'd be dead. And now that the seal is broken... he is burning again...

Wait up is he actually burning up right now? Like he's gonna die now? With 13 eps left?

Jfc give Hou Minghao ALL the fucking acting awards!!

So... the big bad is dead and gone? And we're only just over half way through.

So... am guessing the plot will now revolve around how to avert the two impending disasters of:

the wilderness collapsing if the baize token cannot be repaired; and

Zhu Yan destroying the human world when he inevitably loses control of the malicious qi.

Oh and here comes Chongwu fucking camp to join the party...

Oh so the bowl had the Yao water in it? But now it's polluted with blood...

I wouldn't necessarily believe what Li Lun said dude...

Yeah keep telling yourself that babes....

Oh wait, I hadn't realised it was Chongwu Camp AND Demon Hunting Bureau together?!

And let me guess, the purpose behind this unprecedented cordial entente is... to kill Zhu Yan?

Oh, arrest him is it? So your guy can then kill him and take his core.

Pleeeeeease tell me Demon Hunting Bureau isn't gonna sign off on this shit?

Since when is Sijing the Prime Minister's representative?

Also, Wen Xiao, sweetie, you should NOT be relying on Sijing to back you up... she's a fucking mole for Chongwu Camp!!

Aaaand there it is.

Uuuuuh okay... so mum is not dead? And yeah... there sure is a lot to explain to your kid fella... like how the fuck he's got divine power?!!

Can't see how Chongwu Camp's prison could hold Zhu Yan any better than Demon Hunting Bureau's if he really wanted to leave? (Am not seeing any demon-power suppressing charms). So I guess for the moment he doesn't want to leave...

Oh my, has our boy Yichen finally managed to acknowledge that things aren't quite so simple as black and white?

He sure fucking is!

I'm... starting to wonder if the dude behind the mask is gonna turn out to be... said prime minister?

Ooooh I stand corrected, they did put a bunch of suppressing tokens in his cell....

(Ngl my whumper's heart is still kinda hoping he will get injured/tortured whilst his powers are suppressed.... come on Chongwu Camp... do this one thing for me... )

Oh shiiiiiiit the Prime Minister is the "scholar" who attacked the dragon mountain god. He's had it out for demons since the start!!

Uhhhh that's a new look for Wen Xiao?!! I'm gonna guess this is a demon pretending to be her? Perhaps the same one that was doing the same in Li Lun's dream world?

Oh MAN, he were go again with flashback city!! And Zhu Yan has fucking known from the start that Sijing was a Chongwu spy and has used it against them!!

Oohhhh those fuckers lied to her that her brother was still alive and tried to use that as leverage - not knowing that she already knew for certain he was definitely dead.

So she's been pretending to be their mole all this time... to help Zhu Yan find out what they are up to.

Ahhhhh fucking epic!!

So Chongwu camp has been using demons for research... just like the clinic Li Lun and Zhu Yan busted all those years ago?

Okay wait I am CONFUSED. It was only 8 years ago that he and Li Lun busted the clinic? And that's what Li Lun was sealed for (so he's only been sealed for 8 years?) and that's when Zhu Yan wigged out under the blood moon?

So... Zhu Yan had already been hanging out with baize goddess long before that? And been given her brother's name?

But was also visiting the mortal world with Li Lun, seemingly carefree? So this hairstyle...

and this....

were a matter of maybe days apart? Was the grey hairstyle just something he used for visiting the mortal world with Li Lun? But we also saw him with that hairstyle being reprimanded by Ying Zhao for visiting the mortal world when he hadn't fully mastered malicious qi, which I had assumed was when he was much younger? Which is why I had assumed the grey plaited hairstyle indicated younger Zhu Yan? But I guess not?

Oh damn... mystery mask dude is... Xiao Bai's master? Ngl I did NOT fucking see that coming!

And he's been experimenting on demons all this time?

Has... has he experimented on Xiao Bai? Is that why he has divine power and was worried when asked if he was a demon? Have this fucker used demon/divine blood on him?

Oh FUCK and that's why he wants Zhu Yan's core! For his experiments!! A great demon's core!

Ohhh fuck that doesn't sound good...

I think this might be a trap...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WHAT

THE

FUCK?!!

NO! Noooooooooo!!! Not my baby Xiao Jiu!!

I AM NOT OKAY!!!

[franken-shits]

Thinking about punk herstory again...

[arson-09]

i dont think ill ever recover from the pure tragedy that is Touya Todorokis story/life. Genuinely the ending did mental damage to me

[pa-pa-plasma]

kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment

[outlawssweetheart]

Some writers/producers/directors have such obvious personal beef with certain characters, and it’s both hilarious and infuriating. Hilarious because of how pathetic it is, but infuriating because of how shitty they treat and talk about the character.

[area51-escapee]

One of the many hills I’ll die on is my defense of the Girl Scouts if you hear the “girl” in Girl Scouts and immediately assume “well, clearly all they’re teaching them is how to bake cookies and manage a household and become a good wife and mother who stays home and cooks and cleans” then that shits on you yeah some troops aren’t going to be as good as others it all depends on the leadership and resources available but that doesn’t negate the fact that at it’s core it is there to teach young girls valuable skills and it can provide unique opportunities and a nice community for people who may need it

[befuddled-calico-whump]

nothing like hanging out with new coworkers and finding out their number one brand of humor is just Racism 🙃

[trinitea-fics]

I hate when you're very sure you're over something, but then you're awake at 4am and clearly Not Over it yet :/

[arolesbianism]

Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm watching the new Sad Boyz episode and Jarvis has been talking about Fall Out Boy for thirty minutes and I'm juuust. not enjoying it

[gardeninggraves]

watching a reaction video for encanto and immediately exiting out of it when they dont understand isabela as a character and tear her down the entire time during her song is self care

[watchmakermori]

every single episode of attack on titan season 4 is basically saying in bright flashing neon letters ‘do not demonise people who seem different to you. you are the same in all the ways that matter. painting others as evil only leads to senseless violence, which causes more violence in turn until you are trapped in an endless cycle of it’ and yet somehow all the crunchyroll comments are full of people like ‘eren did nothing wrong’ ‘i hope someone kills gabi’ ‘marleyans deserve to die because they struck first’ like oh my godd oh my god oh my fucking god. did the wind part your hair when the point sailed over your head

[infizero]

thinking about dl!scar makes me sad for many reasons but one of the worst is thinking about him knowing far too well that grian is unhappy with him and just having to live with that

[here-there-were-dragons]

there is so little useable lore on undertides and so much of it paints them as uniformly isolationist and unlikely for most to do anything else that i simply cannot think of any compelling reason for an undertide to live or go anywhere but the ocean between ice and fire and the thousand-current sea, much less be of any but three or so elements.