#hes like grunkle stan if he was a punk manager
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Thinking about punk herstory again...
#vivenne westwood#johnny rotten#the damned#new york dolls#malcolm mclaren#adam ant#this is a niche meme for my fellow punk historians#I've just been obsessed with punk history recently because ive been reading a book about goth history#and ive seen a few original punks#and just been consuming a lot of old punk and goth#Malcolm McLaren fascinates me because hes such a prick i cant believe hes fucked over so many bands#hes like grunkle stan if he was a punk manager#for context#johnny rotten hates him because he mismanaged them and wouldnt pay them and started piL in retaliation#adam ant asked him to make him a really big pop star and after a few months kicked adam out of his own band 😭#got the new York dolls to preform in a comminist get up which casused so much controversy they disbanded#and got everyone to turn against the damned and poser shamed them because he was pissed that they made a record before sex pistols#im sure u all know about how he and vivenne Westwood ran their punk clothing line Sex and managed and dressed all their bands#then they went rockabilly (every punk has a rockabilly era)#then it was sex#and after punk they liked pirates and rebranded to Worlds end and basically made new romantic fashion
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👀 I would like to hear about the Oregon Vortex if you feel up to sharing!
sure! I mean I only just learned about it so I feel like I'm losing my mind a little bit that I can't seem to find anyone else connecting the two beyond like "oh yeah the crew went there and took a photo during the 2013 Mystery Tour." And wikipedia having a trivia note connecting the two.
But anyways The Oregon Vortex is a "Mystery Spot" in real life that claims to be the original House of Mystery that all other mystery spots take inspiration from. (they've got beef with the Santa Cruz Mystery Spot in particular) It was first opened to the public in 1930 by this man named John Litster. As the lore goes he's deemed a bit of a conman, but also a scientist? He was fascinated by the strange and eerie phenomena of Oregon Vortex and had a ton of wild theories about why it is the way it is. One of his theories is Aliens.
Some of the reported strange occurrences that happen at the vortex are: bottles rolling uphill, backpain disappears, hangovers get worse, people's physical height change seemingly at random, mysterious beams of light in photographs, inexplicable urge to visit, etc (claims of fairies, and walking through the 6th dimension, also throwing pizza to "the beings")
The House of Mystery itself, the main attraction of the Oregon Vortex looks like this fyi. It used to be an office for an old Gold Mining Company.
there's a sign that looks like this
But back to fuckin John Litser, like part of the lore with that guy is he did a bunch of research on the place and why its so wacky and weird (though arguably its probs just optical illusions) However all of his research supposedly got burned in a fire in the 60s.
I found this interesting article on Roadside America that's got some awesome quotes from Elena Cooper (who managed the vortex at the time?? It is owned and ran by the Cooper family but another source listed an Irene and her daughter Maria, idk who Elena is.) and some of the quotes are beautiful and others have me feeling like I'm being punked. like
"It's existed probably since the planet existed. To be a part of that is just fantastic."
"If this is the middle of the Sasquatch Intergalactic Highway, I may as well sell stuffed versions of him."
"by the end of a tour you could tell them just about anything and they'd believe it."
She is real life grunkle stan
Anyways this place has been mentioned in a bunch of things, like theres an episode of X-files on it, Ghost Adventures went there once, Fact of Faked declared it an optical illusion.
they haven't posted on their official twitter since 2019, but their facebook still updates.
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GF - Mystery Twins: Ghost
A new AU inspired by Mystery Skulls…
AO3 link
ch.2
~~~~~~~~~~
A catchy song played on the radio, making the young pair of twins in the back bob their heads and jump in their seats to the music. Ford smiled, looking back with his near-view mirror, and his smile stayed even when he had to focus back on the road. His hands and body weren’t used to driving the red Diablo, but he managed it okay, mostly because he was with his family.
Driving through the backwood-roads in the dark forest, the car was operating fine, but then the radio was glitching and the car was sputtering to a stop. The eight-year-olds in the back braced themselves as they slowed down, Ford listening carefully for an indication as to what was wrong with the Stanmobile.
“Grunkle Ford, what’s wrong?” Dipper asked, the boy who often felt like a ghost.
“I’m not sure.” Said the man who knew the most. “It sounds like the battery…”
“Maybe it has something to do with that.” Mabel suggested, looking outside and pointing to a structure they were coming up on.
The car came to a stop in front of a very large, rich-looking, antique cabin. With many levels and even a tower, this grand old-styled building seemed to be beating with life, like a giant wooden heart, and a faint reddish glow came from within. The Diablo refused to move any further, so Ford and the kids got out. The aged scientist popped the hood with Dipper by his side and they both saw the red bolts of lightning sparking around the battery and engine, freezing everything.
“Looks like somebody doesn’t want us to leave.” Ford theorized and looked up at the large house, but he gasped with horror seeing his little niece skip to the door. “Mabel!” He hissed.
Dipper turned and ran after his sister, holding his lucky pinetree hat down to keep it from blowing off his Pines’ fluffy brown hair. “Mabel, wait for me!”
The little girl stood on tippy-toes in her black flats and white socks and rang the doorbell. It sang a surprisingly joyful tune, and then the door opened. The children entered and the door remained open. Ford ran inside after his children; he knew they were more than capable of taking care of themselves, but given recent circumstances, he’d rather not take the risk.
The second Ford stepped inside the dwelling, however, the door closed by itself. The guardian wrapped an arm around each child, with Dipper on his left and Mabel on his right, and they were entertained by a small performance of bright red fire dancing in the suffocating darkness, until the flames landed on tall candles by the wall, and everything was highlighted with reds, oranges, and yellows.
Mabel’s eyes dazzled with excitement, as well as Dipper’s while he did sweat a bit on the forehead, and Ford was even more on guard. Three small goat-resembling blobs of red soul appeared from the floor and swarmed the small family. Mabel reached to pet one, but Dipper grabbed her hand and ran, and Ford ran after them.
The red fire brought life to the painting of Natives and lumberjacks. While the live humans ran down the hallways of the large wooden manor, many different ghosts flew around the air; little child-like spirits were being chased by punk ghosts, keys and keyhole were floating aimlessly, a soul-sucker landed on Ford’s shoulder, but he flicked it away like it was an annoying bug.
“This place is amazing!” Dipper cheered. “Look how many categories, Grunkle Ford!”
“Yes, it is impressive,” Ford huffed, half excited, half worried for the children’s safety. “But let’s hope we don’t meet a Level- AAAAAAAHH!!!” A trap door suddenly appeared beneath him and the old scientist fell, the hole quickly covered before the kids could see what had happened.
Dipper and Mabel looked at each other, shrugged, and ran down the hall to the shining room ahead of them.
Ford fell harshly on a cold, concrete floor and rubbed the base of his back; he would be feeling that later. He looked around. He was in some kind of cellar, a room in the basement for storage, possibly food in the olden days. Ford looked ahead, and highlighted with glowing red energy, was a casket with a square skull on the door. As Ford stood and braced himself, the door opened to find a smartly dressed skeleton inside.
A skull missing it’s bottom jaw glared at the old man, who was far too used to it to be too shaken, but he was on edge and ready to fight or flight; whichever would ensure he would make it out of the cellar alive. The skeleton had sharp cheekbones and jagged cracks. His skull levitated an inch above the collar of his suit, the lines sharp and smart, the lines and the tie coated in red, though the suit was black. His ribs were outside his jacket and his hands were an odd bland of glove and bone. But what was most peculiar was not the fact that a fancy-dressed skeleton was alive and glaring daggers at the meat-puppet before him. No, what conjured Ford’s curiosity was the golden heart beating on the skeleton’s right chest, like a badge of honor.
The ghost stepped out of the coffin, his heeled shoes clicking on the concrete floor, and he stopped right in front of Ford and pointed harshly at him. Ford glared back, hand in his trenchcoat, ready to shoot and by himself some time, but there was no guarantee if it would even have time for an attack.
It didn’t matter. Suddenly the pupil-less eyes of the skeleton were lit up with red pupils, red fire encased more candles, and with an upward tilt of the skulls, a red block of fire appeared on his head. Ford, as quick as light, whipped out his special ray gun, shot, and ran for the exit. The ghost dodged the bolt of cold blue light with a lazy motion of his head, and then started to fly after his target.
Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were helping themselves to big towers of warm pancakes in the kitchen, about to dig in when they heard the commotion. They poked their heads out of the kitchen and gasped to find their uncle cornered by a big ghost, definitely a Level 10, his back to the wall and his gun pointed at the angry spirit, but the kids knew they could help.
Just before the ghost could touch Ford, the pair of kids stood in front of their grunkle, both flinching and ready for the impact, their arms outstretched to try to shield their guardian, but they opened their eyes cautiously when no attack came.
The ghost had stopped, standing a few feet in front of the tiny family. His red eyes were on the children, and appeared to be… not angry. Almost sad. Mabel took a step forward. Maybe she could help Mr. Ghost feel better so he could go back to sleep. Maybe something hurt. She could kiss it better.
Dipper was right by Mabel’s side, a hand on his chin, studying the ghost curiously, his brown eyes sparkling with wonder. Mabel grinned at the ghost and waved. “Hi, I’m Mabel!”
Instantly, the ghost seemed to smile. Kind eyes and a general aura that swore no harm. The young pair of twins noticed the golden heart floating towards them. Dipper’s mouth was open slightly, while Mabel held her hands patiently for it, waiting for the heart to land on her, rather than harshly grab it and risk frightening the kind soul.
But then Ford scooped up the kids in his arms and ran for the door, leaving the kids to look back at the skeleton and for the skeleton to reach out longingly, only for the golden heart to fall to the floor and crack, now a cold, lonely, icy blue.
At once, the ghost was engulfed in rage and fire, his arms trembling with anger, and he had his red fire swallow the entire hall, with Ford jumping out, through the door, at the last second, with his kids in his arms. He piled them into the red Diablo and thankfully the ghost was too distracted to have the car deactivate again, and they sped away into the woods.
Inside the large cabin, the skeleton watched them go through a window. He picked up the cracked blue heart, tapping it so the locket opened. Inside, a picture of Stan holding his children in his arms, smiling and laughing and having a good time, haunted him. The broken spirit could only shed a single tear as he growled to himself and floated out of the manor, causing it to fade back into its tiny, pitiful, abandoned cabin once more.
#GF#gravity falls#mystery skulls#stangst#fanfiction#dipper pines#mabel pines#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#overprotective grunkles#Oops I Did It Again#i broke all your hearts#stay tuned for the next chapter!...#Thanks for reading!
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Fic: The Secret Journal of 'Stanford' Pines
Size: ~3000 words AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864183
Stan Pines keeps a journal of brief daily notes during the summer of 2012.
Note: We all know that the Gravity Falls timeline makes no sense whatsoever. Therefore this is based on a headcanon timeline I made a year or so ago, trying to incorporate as many of the canon dates (in show and published J3) as possible, but ignoring the ones that were contradictory or made no sense. This still means some episodes did not happen in a strictly chronological order.
June 1
Kids are here. I have no idea what to do. Why did I agree to this.
Boy is a grump and girl made macaroni art in the kitchen. Did I even have macaroni?
June 2 Sunday
I think boy got spooked in the forest. He seems fine, though. Good taste in gold chains.
Girl is now dating some punk kid.
June 3
Kids looked like they’d been run over by the golf cart when they got back tonight. Not good.
Gave them some free gifts from the shop to cheer em up. Yes I know
Boy got a new hat. Should get him to wear a Mystery Shack shirt next. Girl found a grappling hook that was not in my inventory. Bold choice.
What would they say if they knew about me?
June 4
Fishing Season Opening Day – took the kids fishing.
Of course, they got excited about monster hunting instead. They’re listening to reason about as well as I and Fo did as a kid.
But. They came back to me in the end. We had fun.
I love those kids.
June 5
Soos found those cursed old wax statues I sealed up some ten years ago. Don’t seem all that cursed now. One had melted.
Mabel’s gonna make a new one for the wax museum. Meaning I’ll have to figure out how to make suckers pay to look at wax statues again.
June 6
Mabel’s wax creation nearly gave me a heart attack. It looks just like my twin me.
She’s crazy talented.
June 7
I’d say the wax museum reopening went well. Assuming “well” means “profit”.
Did anyone actually think I’d hand out free pizza?
June 8
Hanging out with my wax twin Stan, and the moment I turned my back he was murdered.
June 9 Sunday
Tried to hold a funeral for Wax Stan. Failed to keep it tounge-in-cheek.
Face it, Ford is long gone
June 10
Guess the wax people were still as cursed as I remembered. Kids killed them with fire – I should have done that long ago.
Dipper crawled in the vents all day looking for a wax head that got away.
If I keep telling him he’s delusional, he’s got to stop looking for trouble eventually, right?
June 11
Mabel decided I should date Lazy Susan. Couldn’t stop her. Now Susan and her cats keep calling me.
This was a bad idea. (I will never tell Mabel that.)
June 12
Went on a date with Lazy Susan to shut her up. That ended just as well as expected.
Need to figure out some more specific excuses.
June 13
The worst thing is, the Portal should work now. It’s functional. I just can’t get it to start.
Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along
I did fix that old copier. Don’t know if it still makes copies of people, but at least it makes copies of paper again.
Caught Dipper making oogly eyes at Wendy. I smell drama.
June 14
Did not expect “The Duchess Approves” to be that good.
June 15
The traditional Mystery Shack party that has nothing to do with any birthdays.
Mabel is a great singer, and that Northwest brat cheated.
Happy birthday, Sixer.
June 16 Sunday
Gideon Gleeful’s running TV ads again.
Of course my family goes to his show just to spite me.
June 17
Mabel played with Gideon today. Did not see that one coming.
As long as she’s happy, I guess.
June 18
I hate Pioneer Day.
Stupid people acting even stupider than normal, nothing works, then someone (me) ends up in the stocks.
June 19
Gideon and Mabel are dating!?
Seemed like a horrible idea, but Bud Gleeful has a point on the moneymaking opportunities if we play it right.
June 20
So if Mabel marries Gideon, his business will be incorporated into mine. I sure like the sound of that.
Bud is already making t-shirts.
June 21
June 22
OK, no. No deals with the Gleefuls. Not now or ever.
Mabel broke up with the little pest. Good riddance.
Got me a nice painting from Bud’s house, though.
June 23 Sunday
The Mystery Fair! It may look cheap, but it brings in the money.
Though someone broke all safety protocols and brought a futuristic laser gun to Dunkle the Grunkle. That’s unfair.
Mabel has a pig now.
June 24
Got roped into the gaming arcade with the kids.
Maybe get one of those games for the Shack?
June 25
Mabel decided to fix my fear of heights.
I can say this – being on top of a water tower about to fall over was unpleasant. Compared to that, a high but stable ground isn’t so bad.
Dipper got into a fistfight with Wendy’s boyfriend over teenage drama, but good on him for standing up for himself.
June 26
For some reason Gideon has gotten it into himself that he wants the Mystery Shack now.
Good luck, kid. I’m a better conman than you’ll ever be.
June 27
Mabel is slightly taller than Dipper. This is funny.
Gideon Gleeful trying to be threatening while throwing a hysterical fit after breaking my new mirror maze – mostly confusing. Wish I knew what went on in that kid’s head.
June 28
Kids made me wear the golden teeth. Guess they think I’m a dishonest man.
Fortunately, I’m good at bullshitting even when telling the truth. Think I scandalized the poor things. Hilarious.
Could have been disaster, though. Could have easily made them hate me.
June 29
Spent half the day falling down the Bottomless Pit.
June 30 Sunday
Summerween, now that’s a respectable local holiday.
Scaring children for fun and profit. Celebrating true evil together with family.
July 1
Hottest day of the year. Wax Stan was permanently murdered by the weather.
Closed the Shack and went to the municipal pool with the kids.
Gideon stole my perfect pool chair. It’s on.
July 2
Broke into the pool area at night to get the chair to myself. Which was a good plan, until I wanted to get up later in the day. The pest had coated it with glue.
The kids broke into the pool at night, too. Didn’t ask.
July 3
Opened the Shack again.
Can’t be too lazy. Tourists to fleece and all that.
July 4
July 5
Mabel bet she could run the Shack better than I can. Well. I’m nothing if not a gambler.
So, three days of vacation, in which I will make more money than she will make running the Shack. Winner takes the Shack, loser sings a silly song.
Best case scenario, she learns something about business and stops complaining. Worst case, she actually makes money and then runs the Shack for me the rest of the summer. Not bad.
July 6
Made it past the line to be a contestant on Cash Wheel, using my Old Man powers and lack of common decency.
Why is it so hard to sleep
July 7 Sunday
Well. I lost at Cash Wheel.
Guess that means I lost the bet with Mabel, too. Unless I go rob a bank or something in the time I have left. Hm.
July 8
Turns out Mabel barely broke even when running the Shack. She did win the bet, but she didn’t want my job, no surprise there.
I’m proud of her for learning something.
She still made me sing that song. On video tape. It’s kinda catchy.
July 9
Mabel’s friends came for a sleepover. They make a lot of noice.
July 10
Soos managed to uncover the door to Ford’s that old study I sealed thirty years ago the very moment the kids demanded separate bedrooms.
I never wanted to see that room again. His glasses were still there
Guess they didn’t want the room in the end, but now it’s open. Can’t re-seal it.
I think they messed around with the freaky carpet. Took it away at the end of the day just in case.
July 11
I fucked up, but I fixed it.
I got Mabel’s pig back, even when I had to punch a pterodactyl in the face for it.
She doesn’t hate me.
I love that kid so much.
July 12
That weird egg I pocketed from the dino-cave hatched. Dipper says it’s a compo-whatnot.
I call him Compy. He’s now my Mystery Pet.
July 13
Soos’ birthday. The kids tried to throw a party, which is. Bad idea.
Think he appreciated laser tag, though. And the magic pizza they got him. Never seen him so happy on a birthday.
July 14 Sunday
Turns out Compy is a very tiny dragon. Hoards stuff, mostly cash. In places I can’t reach.
It’s no good. Gonna hand the chicken-lizard over to farmer Sprott first thing in the morning before he bankrupts me.
July 15
Mabel and her friends went to some boy band concert. Got back late with a large pack of spoils. Probably robbed someone.
Wendy’s boyfriend is charming her with homemade music. Dipper suspects magic. Can’t rule that out.
July 16
There was a hypnotic message in the music, but telling Wendy about it only made the teenage drama worse.
Went bowling with Dipper afterwards to cheer him up. Should have a chat with Wendy, too.
July 17
Gideon I’m How could
Didn’t know Gideon was that serious.
As if half-lucid dreams about that yellow triangle wasn’t bad enough. (The kids know something. Not asking. I want them to stay away from that stuff.)
We’re staying with Soos as I panic figure out how to fix this.
July 18
I can’t fix this.
Gideon’s got the whole town eating out of his hand and I’m just a grouchy old man.
Doing the responsible thing. Got bus tickets to send the kids home tomorrow.
Whatever I do next, don’t want them to watch.
July 19
GIDEON IS A LITTLE SHIT AND I AM AWESOME.
Figured out his trick, proved it in public and now he’s in jail.
Got the Shack back. Got the kids back.
And. Get this. Gideon had one of Ford’s missing journals. I have it now.
July 20
I can’t believe it. Dipper. Had the third journal all summer.
All three of the dumb books are right here in front of me.
I activated the Portal. Simple as anything.
It’s scanning for Ford right now.
I’m actually bringing him back.
July 21 Sunday
Grand reopening of the Mystery Shack turned into a zombie-fest.
Kids could’ve died because I was too busy with the Portal to pay attention. That won’t happen again.
Should have talked to them about weirdness sooner. Hope they believed me when I said I have no more secrets.
A little worried that government might have picked up signals from the Portal.
July 22
Repairing the Shack. Too much undead slime to attract tourists like this.
July 23
Re-reopened the Shack.
Dipper got himself an old laptop computer from somewhere. Probably stolen. He tried to hide it.
July 24
Went minigolfing with the kids.
Mabel challenged Pacifica Northwest to a duel at midnight. I’m so proud of her.
Letting kids into minigolf courts at night to take a rich snob down a few pegs – finally putting my skills to good use.
July 25
I still can’t believe the Portal works.
It keeps scanning.
July 26
Tried to bring old Goldie back to the gift shop but apparently he’s unhip and scary. Had to throw him away before the parents sued me.
What I do need is a singing animatronic robot badger. That’s what kids like these days.
July 27
Soos missed work for the first time ever. Seems to be girl trouble, but the kids are handling it.
Would’ve stolen myself a robot badger if it hadn’t tried to kill me. Saved by old Goldie. No way I’m not keeping him now.
July 28 Sunday
Went for a Vegas vacation because I deserve it.
Not because I’m nervous.
Brought Goldie, might have gotten slightly drunk. And slightly married.
July 29
Mabel found herself a new obsession with hand puppets.
She’ll throw a big show on Friday. Made me rent Gravity Falls theatre for her. (Can’t believe I did that.)
July 30
The Shack is full of sock puppets and kids and Mabel keeps singing.
Guess this is my life now.
July 31
August 1
Soos went to his cousin’s wedding with his new girlfriend. Good on him.
Mabel’s still obsessing about puppets.
Dipper looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Can’t blame him with all this ruckus.
August 2
Play was good! Think it paid for the costs, too. Mabel’s got showmanship.
Don’t get the ending, though.
I mean. Children fighting always makes for good footage, but was it necessary to beat Dipper up that bad? I swear Mabel don’t know how strong she is.
A little worried about Dipper. He seemed high as a kite all day. Probably sleep deprivation. At least he’s sleeping now.
August 3
August 4 Sunday
Gravity’s going more crazy around the Portal the longer it’s on, but I don’t care.
It hasn’t found Ford yet.
It won’t find him if he’s dead
August 5
The Portal ate my notebook.
Got a nasty cut on the back of my hand from some debris, too. Could have been worse.
August 6
Tried to advertise the Mystery Shack for the kids at the Woodstick Festival. Hilarious disaster.
Being feared is worth more than being loved anyway.
August 7
August 8
IT FOUND HIM.
He’s alive. There’s a lock on his position.
Fuck I don’t I have to
I know how it works. It needs to calibrate for a while. It needs to be fueled for the big moment.
I’ll go rob a government facility right now.
(So glad the kids are off at the Northwest party tonight.)
27 hours and then I’ll see him again.
August 9
Ford is back.
I had to run from the feds and the kids found out everything the wrong way but it worked and he’s back.
But he doesn’t He still hates me.
Why would I expect anything else.
Don’t know what I’d do with myself if the kids weren’t here.
It’s fine. I fucked up everything, but. Mabel trusts me. Dipper forgives me. I’m fine.
not crying
August 10 Sunday
The Shack needs repairs again.
Spent most of the day making Duck-tective finale preparations with Mabel. We had fun.
Told the kids to stay away from Ford.
August 11
Dipper has predictably decided to be nerd friends with my brother.
Can’t stop him. He looks happy. Both of them do.
Still can’t figure out why Ford would have reality altering dice lying around in his sci-fi pouch.
Anyway. I knew Duck-tective had an evil twin.
August 12
I hate everything.
Ford will take my his place here soon enough, does he have to undercut me while I’m still here?
I’m running for mayor now.
August 13
Kids are helping me with a political campaign. Apparently I know nothing about politics and have unpalatable opinions. Bah.
August 14
The Stump Speech went great! I relax, words happen, people cheer.
Dipper got a lucky tie for me. Think it really works.
August 15
Should’ve tried being a politician before. Almost feels like people like me.
August 16
Nope. Politics is not for me. Too much mind control.
Should’ve known it wasn’t me making those speeches.
(The kids shouldn’t get into politics either. Can’t always be there to save them from murder.)
Turns out I’m not mayor material, but I’m a HERO.
Take that, Ford.
August 17
Rented an RV and took Soos and the kids and Mabel’s friends on a road trip.
Pranking the tourist traps. Good old Mystery Shack tradition for the last time.
Dipper’s practising flirting like a pro.
August 18 Sunday
Almost got eaten by a spider-woman. That could have gone better.
Have to admit, the kids are heroes too.
Don’t think Ford noticed we were gone.
August 19
Opened the Mystery Shack for the final stretch.
Two more weeks, then I’m gone for good.
August 20
Made a good deal on illegal pugs. Still got it.
Ford and Dipper put some magic mojo on the Shack. Not gonna ask.
Might have something to do with how badly Ford is sleeping.
August 21
Ten days left until the kids’s birthday and the end of summer.
Guess I’m doing a countdown now.
August 22
Nine days left.
August 23
Eight days left.
I’m gonna order a ponytail kit.
August 24
HELL NO I DON’T NEED THIS.
It’s the literal end of the world and the kids are missing.
Suddenly orange skies, goats turning into monsters, the whole shebang. I thought I had enough troubles.
That magic on the Shack seems to be protecting it, but. THE KIDS ARE MISSING. So is Ford.
??? 1
Day and night are replaced by eternal glowing orange and every single clock is busted, so no more dates.
Went out looking for the kids, but all I find is other people. Also demons. No sign of Soos or Wendy, either.
Been taking people to the Shack. Safest place on Earth for all I know. I have enough brown meat and elected myself Chief.
The kids are fine. Probably with Ford. That’s the ticket.
??? 2
Went out looking again. Found the Northwest girl dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She was crying and I don’t want to know, but she didn’t deserve it.
Been told the head honcho is the yellow triangle. He calls this Weirdmageddon.
Old McGucket showed up more coherent than usual, herding a whole flock of forest creatures into the Shack. Starting to get crowded here.
The kids are fine. Of course they are.
??? 3
There’s still people alive out there. I heard cars over at Gleeful’s place.
Didn’t see anyone else.
I’ve lost I couldn’t even
Mabel and Dipper are definitely still alive. So is Soos and Wendy. And Ford better be.
??? 4
They’re alive!
All four of my kids, bursting through the door like cops doing a raid but they’re alive!
Now all I want is for them to stay here and be safe. Why can’t they see that?
I’m done saving my brother’s skin and getting nothing but scorn for it.
Ford made his own bed with that demon. Forget it.
??? 5
Did I mention, the plan concocted by five kids, Soos, and a known madman is utterly insane?
They’re rebuilding the Shack. I just had it repaired, too.
It’s my house, but no one’s listening to me.
??? 6
I keep having this bad feeling about Ford.
It’s dumb. My brother has made it perfectly clear how he feels about being saved.
??? 7
Well then.
Not letting the kids lead an apocalypse rebellion against a demonic triangle without me.
August 25 Sunday
August 26
August 27
August 28
Huh. I can’t remember writing this, but it does ring a few bells.
It’s like I
I need to talk to Ford.
August 29
So. The apocalypse is over, and we’re all fine.
We killed the demon by burning my mind out when he was inside, pretty much.
My mind’s still there, but it’s kinda. Well. In need of repair.
Spent a few days reliving good memories.
Turns out there’s more than a few bad ones, too. But.
Everyone is so good to me
I don’t deserve this
August 30
I remember how Ford looked at me after I brought him back.
Now he acts like he likes to he thinks I’m
Now it’s like he’s my brother again.
He said. “Thank you.”
August 31
The kids have left. I’ll miss them, but I’ll see them again.
Until then, my brother and I are going sailing.
#gravity falls#fanfic#stanley pines#i still have feels about this old conman#it writes#unconventional writing
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The Dating Debacle of Ford Pines
Ford Pines would be lying to himself if he said that he hadn’t really ‘dated’ before. He had, especially in college, but those were best left to the dusty rooms in the back of his mind. Still, if asked he would shrug and make some non-committal answer.
...then there was Bill. Somehow throughout the years he had developed a strange-and more than likely unhealthy-dependence on the demon. Whether it was for reassurance or something to fight against, Bill was without a doubt the most...consistent thing in his life.
So after a few months without the demon he found the relief that he had originally had...was gnawed through by a deeply-rooted ache of loneliness, which only grew worse at the sailing trip. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed himself, he hadn’t felt that happy in decades...but there was still this ache...as soon as they returned back to the shack he went straight for the woods...a stupid idea forming in his mind.
Not soon after Bill Cipher was back in the land of the living. It took time...but they had somehow reached an agreement-and while Ford knew somewhere that it was probably forced-see completely faked-but he couldn’t help himself. Stan had begrudgingly accepted-without really knowing WHO ‘Billy’ truly was, but when it came to the kids...and them coming by for an extended visit without him realizing...he couldn’t help but panic.
The moment he heard a mixture of yells of Grunkle Ford-one voice cracking but still managing to deepen-he practically choked on the damn swig of coffee from the umpteenth cup of it for the day. Eyes moving upstairs and instantly turning to the other in the lab, today looking more punk, of which he would rather keep his excitement about that as hidden as possible, worry however was clearly settling into his system.
“...what do I do?” He finally asked, his meaning probably not as clear as he hoped it would.
@nightmaresofcipher
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Universe Falls Chapter 30, Part 2
Wooo boy well fucking nearly 25,000 words later and here we are at the end of arc 3, finally. And I have been taking this chapter up a lot, mostly because I am SO damn proud of it. There’s just.... so many good things in here and I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! And so, I suppose there’s nothing left to do but... get started!
Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/157444749704/universe-falls-chapter-30-part-1
Chapter 30, Part 2: Gideon Rises
20-8-5 20-9-13-5 6-15-18 6-21-14 1-14-4 7-1-13-5-19 9-19 4-15-14-5 20-8-5 20-18-21-5 13-25-19-20-5-18-9-5-19 8-1-22-5 1-20 12-1-19-20 2-5-7-21-14 19-5-3-18-5-20-19, 6-21-19-9-15-14-19, 9-14-22-1-19-9-15-14-19, 1-14-4 13-15-18-5 1-12-12 15-6 20-8-9-19 1-23-1-9-20-19 9-14 6-15-21-18
The dark, rainy curtain that had hovered over Gravity Falls all day had finally subsided, the clouds breaking apart to allow a warm, crisp, golden sunset to leak through and shine upon the sleepy town. How ironic, it seemed, that the literal storm would end right at the outset of the overwhelming metaphorical storm that the Pines family now found themselves facing.
As soon as it had become apparent that Gideon had the Mystery Shack for himself, Steven had kindly offered an immediate place of shelter for the displaced Pines by way of the temple. Though the twins were on board with this plan amidst their relative shock, Stan was much more begrudging to accept it, but given that they had really nowhere else to go, he quickly agreed. After sending Soos home for the night, the group managed to salvage whatever possessions they could from the shack without Gideon noticing before sulking up to the Gem temple in defeat. No sooner had they gotten there, however, than the Gems returned from their all-day mission, and needless to say there were all aptly confused at seeing the distraught group gathered in the living room.
Despite the Gems’ abundance of questions, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were quick to catch them up to speed, with Stan adding a bitter remark or two every now and then. While they provided as much of the story as they could, the kids intentionally left most of the details about their encounter with Bill, mostly out of uncertainty about how the Gems and the conman would react. But even so, by the time they were done explaining the tumultuous situation, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl were all easily left with more questions than answers.
“Ok, so let me see if I understand this,” Pearl began, trying to make sense of everything they had just heard. “Gideon stole the deed to the Mystery Shack and managed to kick the three of you out?”
“Yeah, that’s… pretty much what happened,” Dipper said with a dejected sigh.
“The stupid little punk would have never blown that hole through the wall if I had been paying more attention,” Stan remarked crossly. “What I wouldn’t give to knock his lights out and take my deed right back from his grubby little hands!”
“Yeah… sounds great,” Amethyst agreed, cracking her knuckles. “Let’s do it!”
“No,” Garnet cut in firmly, standing near the door and watching as Gideon rode his bulldozer around his newly claimed property. “The chances of any plan where you just go and try to take the shack back by force actually working is very low. Believe me.”
“Oh, what, so we’re just supposed to sit around and let Gideon turn it into the Tent of Telepathy Part 2?” Stan asked caustically.
“For now, it’s all you can do,” Garnet replied, crossing her arms.
“What are we gonna do in the meantime, then?” Mabel asked with a fretful frown. “Without the Mystery Shack, we have no place to stay! Where are we supposed to sleep? Or eat? Where am I gonna make Mabel juice?! Or knit sweaters?! Or-”
“Wait a minute, Mabel,” Steven interrupted with a small, growing smile. “I think I have an idea. While we get this whole thing with the shack sorted out, you guys could always… stay here at the temple with us?” he grinned to the Gems as he finished his suggestion, making sure to be as charming as possible for the sake of convincing them.
“Oh my gosh, Steven, that is literally the best idea I’ve ever heard!” Mabel gushed, her worry instantly replaced with excitement. “If we stayed up here at the temple with you, then it would be like a never-ending slumber party filled with magic and… more magic! Doesn’t that just sound awesome, you guys?” she asked her brother and uncle.
“No,” Stan deadpanned plainly.
“Yeah, I don’t know about that…” Dipper frowned, glancing around the rather cramped house. “I mean, it’s not like this place really has enough space for three more. Then again, I guess it’s either here or… nothing.”
“That’s the spirit!” Steven quipped brightly. “Oh, this is gonna be so much fun! We can-”
“Now, hold it just a minute, Steven,” Pearl cut in. “I’m not so sure this ‘never-ending slumber party’ is the best idea either. Not because of the lack of space, but because… well…”
“Let me guess,” the conman filled in, his tone as dry as ever, which really wasn’t that surprising, given the situation. “It’s ‘cause you don’t want me mooching around here, huh?”
“…Well…”
“Pfft, don’t listen to Pearl,” Amethyst rolled her eyes, trotting over to Stan and smirking up at him. “Of course you guys can stay! Heck, it might even be kinda fun having some new roomies. Means I’ll have more people to pull late-night pranks on, right Steven?”
“Uh, yeah, speaking of which,” Steven said with a frown. “Amethyst, can we talk about that frog you put in my bed last night later on? Cause I think we kinda need to talk about that.”
“Oh, please let us stay, you guys!” Mabel pleaded with Pearl and Garnet, seeing as how Amethyst was already on board with the idea. “Please, please, please, please! Just look at us!” she exclaimed, pulling Dipper up beside her before issuing him a whispered command. “Be as cute as you can!” Knowing they had no other options, Dipper complied, forcing the most endearing smile he could muster as Mabel continued her appeal. “We’re cold, lonely, and lost in the world with nowhere else to go! Can’t you find it in your hearts to take in two poor, adorable kids and their cheap but lovable uncle for a while? Pretty please? After all, we are your favorite twins!”
“Um… yeah. What she said,” Dipper nodded, knowing there was little he could really add to Mabel’s thorough entreaty. “Please?” he asked to further emphasize it though, tilting his head down a bit as he looked up to the Gems dolefully. It was a trick the twins had practiced and perfected over the years, not just with their parents, but with Stan as well, and to their credit, it usually always worked. Which meant that if it didn’t win Garnet and Pearl over, then nothing would.
The two elder Gems remained silent of a moment or two, both of them taking in the twins’ forlorn, pleading pouts. As they glanced over at Steven, they found he was wearing one too, mouthing the word ‘please’ to them repeatedly as he clasped his hands together hopefully. And while Pearl’s bottom lip was already starting to quiver and her eyes were filling up with sympathetic tears, Garnet was ultimately the one to break first.
“That’s not fair,” she noted, a hint of amusement in her tone. “You kids know we can’t resist any of you. Especially when you give us that look.”
“You mean this one?” Steven asked, giving the Gem leader complete puppy dog eyes.
“That’s the one.”
“Oh, how could I even think of turning you two away?!” Pearl cried, wiping her tears away. “You both can stay here for as long as you need to! No questions asked!”
“Yay!” Steven and Mabel cheered in delighted unison, both of them more than ready to start celebrating their triumph. Dipper, on the other hand, did have at least one more question.
“So Grunkle Stan can stay too?” he asked somewhat anxiously, wanting to ensure this deal was a fair one.
“Well…”
“Stan can stay too,” Garnet cut Pearl off. Her solid tone alone made it clear that there would be no arguing with her on the matter, much to the white Gem’s annoyance.
“Oh gee, thanks,” Stan rolled his eyes, his tone still as sarcastic as ever. “Not only do I get my house stolen from me by a blue-suited gremlin, but I also get to sleep on a couch and put up with you two nagging at me about it, all in the same day! How lucky can a guy get?”
“Aw, c’mon, Stan, it won’t be so bad,” Amethyst chuckled mischievously. “With us being roomies, that means we’ll have all sorts of time for new Revenge Trip scheming. You know, whenever you stop crying about losing the shack or whatever.”
“What? I’m not crying about anything!” the conman exclaimed defensively.
“Heh, could’ve fooled me with how crabby you’re being about it,” the purple Gem shrugged.
“Oh, don’t worry, you guys!” Steven reassured warmly. “We’ll think of some way to get the shack back, I’m sure! But in the meantime, all of us are gonna have so much fun living together! We’ll be like one big happy family!”
“Yeah we will be!” Mabel heartily agreed, just as zealous. “One big awesome family! The best one around! We could even redecorate the mailbox so that it has both of our last names on it!”
“You mean like… Unipines?” Steven asked with an eager grin.
“Or Pinesuverse!”
Already gripped by this odd idea, the pair continued brainstorming ideas for a combined last name, Stan was making himself right at home already by combing the fridge for a snack, much to Pearl’s immediate aggravation.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked with a disapproving scowl.
“What? I’m famished here,” the conman shrugged, pulling a sandwich out of the fridge.
“You can’t eat that! It’s not your food!” the white Gem huffed as she marched over to him.
“Hey, it’s not like you’re gonna eat it.”
“Oooo! He got you there, P!” Amethyst laughed, quite amused. Of course, it didn’t take long for the usual strain of argument to break out between Stan and Pearl, even if it was a rather pointless one. And as usual, the purple Gem merely sat on the sidelines, adding her quips and sly remarks just to fan the flames for fun. Their bickering only added to the noisy chaos of the room that Steven and Mabel were creating, even if it was in stark contrast to the loud fun they were having, especially as they laughingly let Lion chase them around the house. Garnet and Dipper stood on the fringe of all this madness, the former shaking her head as she put her hands on her hips and the latter watching it all unfold with growing worry.
“There’s no way this is going to work out, is it?” Dipper asked the Gem leader, hoping her foresight could possibly set his dread to rest.
“It could…” Garnet noted, her tone anything but definitive.
“But will it?”
The Gem leader paused, taking another look at the ongoing chaos before them before reaching her conclusion. “…No.”
Though it took some time and some staunch words on Garnet’s part, everything soon died down enough to allow the Pines to settle in to their new living situation. Indeed the house didn’t offer much in the way of suitable sleeping space; the couch was fortunately a pull-out, but it was still a cramped fit for Stan and the twins. Steven would have offered to make room in his own bed for one of them, but seeing as how the Pines had taken over Lion’s usual sleeping spot, he had taken to cuddling up next to the young Gem instead, leaving him with very little room either. So instead of having to try and pack into the bed and couch, Steven, Stan, and the twins had taken to trying to calm their nerves from the hectic day they had with a little evening television. The Gems had also begrudgingly joined them, cramming onto Steven’s bed up on the loft as an episode of Ducktective droned on in the background. In order to pass the idle time, Mabel had prompted a rather short, but still effective “braid train”, with Garnet in the back, twisting Mabel’s hair skillfully while she worked on Amethyst’s.
“Whoa, Amethyst, your hair is so soft and smooth!” Mabel complimented as she ran a hand through the lavender locks. “I always thought it would be super tanglely and sticky since you drink so much chocolate syrup and hot glue. What’s your secret?”
“Heh, I’ll never tell,” the purple Gem smirked, flipping her bangs.
“It’s because she shakes it all out of her hair,” Garnet informed dryly.
“Like a dog?” Mabel asked.
“Exactly like a dog.”
“And its’ never failed me yet,” Amethyst crossed her arms confidently. “Hey, Stan, you sure you don’t wanna join this braid train? I mean, you don’t really got a lot of hair anymore, but I’m sure I could make something out of it.”
“Amethyst, cut it out!” Stan scolded in annoyance as the purple Gem playfully knocked his fez off his head. “You too, Mabel.” The conman was quick to swat his niece’s hand away as she also tried to reach out and braid his hair. “The news is finally on.”
The collective group turned their attention to the TV as the evening news began, and of course, the first story was the one that was most presently affecting them all. “In a movement that has all of Gravity Falls buzzing, child psychic Gideon Gleeful has taken surprise ownership of the Mystery Shack,” Shandra Jimenez reported as an innocent file photo of Gideon surrounded by puppies appeared on screen. “Previously belonging to area shyster, Stanford Pines.” The next image shown was an incriminating one of Stan, cheerfully clad in a devil costume and surrounded by flames.
“That picture’s taken out of context,” Stan noted crossly.
“Heh, yeah it is,” Amethyst chuckled. “I should know. I was the one who took it!”
“Oh for crying out loud, you two! Really?” Pearl scolded at their irresponsibility, though the kids were quick to shush her as the newscast continued.
“Now that you have the shack, what exactly are you planning on doing with it?” Shandra interviewed Gideon in front of the shack, which now had a tall wire fence erected around it.
“I have a big announcement to make tomorrow,” Gideon began with his infamous charming grin. “And I’d cordially like to invite all the good people of Gravity Falls to join me. Free admission to anyone who wears their Lil’ Gideon pin! It’s my face!” He winked to the camera as he held up a small pin that did indeed have his face on it.
“How tacky,” Garnet remarked with a dry frown.
“I just can’t believe Gideon beat us,” Dipper said with a discouraged sigh. “Normally I’m able to save the day, but this time? I have like, no idea about what to do! This is all my fault.”
“What? No it’s not, Dipper,” Steven said with a sympathetic frown. “I mean, there really wasn’t a lot that any of us could have done to stop Gideon from breaking into the shack. Literally.”
“Steven’s right,” Mabel agreed, jumping to her feet. “Don’t worry, Dipper! I guess this just means that Mabel’s gonna have to be the new hero of the family now! I’ll defeat Gideon with my grappling hook!” With a determined grin, she pulled her treasured grappling hook out and held it aloft.
“Mabel, no offense, but that grappling hook has only ever helped us out once,” Dipper pointed out, referring to the ordeal at Rose’s Fountain a few weeks ago.
“Twice, bro-bro,” Mabel corrected. “It helped us out twice, remember? And it’ll help us out again this time! Just watch this” To prove her point, she took aim with her grappling hook at the temple gate, hoping to snag one of the smaller rocks gathered near it, only for it to catch a much larger one and send it flinging back towards the group. Garnet acted quickly and deflected it before it could hit any of them with a single punch, though the broken pieces did scatter all over the temple, making quite a mess.
“See what I mean?” Dipper asked pointedly. “That thing usually causes more harm than actual help.”
“Aw, that’s just because I wasn’t aiming right,” Mabel scoffed. “Let me just try again and-”
“O-ok!” Pearl cut in with a forced grin. “Why don’t we put that away and everyone heads onto bed now, hm?”
“Aw, already?” Steven asked, dismayed. “But we’re having so much fun!”
“I don’t know if ‘fun’ is the word I would use to describe any of this,” Stan remarked sarcastically.
“Can’t you guys just hang out with us a little longer?” the young Gem inquired his guardians as they started heading downstairs. “I’m sure we would all feel better with some jokes or a story or something. Please?”
“Alright,” Garnet instantly complied, returning to the bed as she took a seat on it. Though they were somewhat confused, Amethyst and Pearl followed her lead. “I have a story for you kids.”
“Really?” Dipper asked, confused. “But Garnet, I thought you said you didn’t tell stories.”
“Well, I happen to have one this time,” the Gem leader replied. “And it’s about Alexandrite.”
Amethyst let out an excited squeal upon hearing this, while Pearl was somewhat less bold about it as she smiled with a soft blush. “A-Alexandrite?” the white Gem asked anxiously. “Garnet, are we really going to tell them about… her?”
“Sure,” Garnet shrugged. “It’ll help them feel better.”
“Who’s Alexandrite?” Mabel asked, already overwhelmed with curiosity.
“She’s only a complete and total boss!” Amethyst exclaimed with a daring grin.
“You all remember Opal and Sugilite, right?” Pearl asked tentatively. “Well… Alexandrite is… sort of like them. Only… bigger.”
“A lot bigger,” Amethyst added.
“Alexandrite is the fusion of myself, Pearl, and Amethyst,” Garnet properly explained. “She is very massive and very powerful.”
“Plus, she has six arms and can summon like, all of our weapons!” Amethyst quipped, her grin still huge as she looked to the kids, who were all aptly awestruck upon hearing about this new fusion.
“However,” Pearl cut in pointedly. “As fearsome and formidable as Alexandrite is, she’s a bit… unstable. Her true potential can only be realized when the three of us fuse with a singular goal in mind. Anything else and… well…”
“We fall apart,” Garnet concluded.
“Wait, so all three of you can fuse at the same time?” Dipper asked, amazed, especially since the journal didn’t detail much about fusions in the first place. “But how? I thought only two Gems could fuse at a time.”
“Nah, man,” Amethyst remarked. “There’s no limit to how many of us can mash it up at once!”
“Please,” Stan scoffed, skeptical of this fantastical idea. “This ‘Alexandrite’ broad sounds like she’s just one big fairy tale to me. Then again, considering how you three are like something out of a nutso fairy tale, it probably isn’t too far out there.”
“Well, I think Alexandrite sounds amazing!” Steven exclaimed, stars in his eyes. “Can we meet her? Like, right now?”
“Yeah!” Mabel nodded just as zealously. “And if Alexandrite is really as big and strong as you guys are saying, then I bet she’d be able to go down to the shack, beat the snot out of Gideon, and get the deed back, no problem!”
“Whoa, that’s… actually a pretty good idea,” Dipper said, somewhat surprised. Then again, it was a rather sensible plan; with the Gems and their strength on their side, then perhaps getting the shack back would be as easy as getting them to take it right back from the child psychic. Sure, it wasn’t the most creative idea, but at least it was the first tangible, actually feasible idea any of them had come up with so far.
“O-oh, well, we would love to help, kids, but… we really only fuse during deadly situations,” Pearl said with a gentle frown. “And losing the Mystery Shack to Gideon… really isn’t one.”
“Hey, it is to me!” Stan protested. “Without that dusty old shack, I’m making zero profits! That’s the deadliest situation imaginable!”
“Eh, you’ll live,” Garnet remarked apathetically.
“Don’t be so down, you guys!” Amethyst encouraged as she hopped off the loft, Garnet and Pearl following not long after her. “At least you get to chill here for a while. Besides, what’s Gideon really gonna do with the shack anyway? Paint it pink like he did the temple? Come on.”
“We’ll have more time to discuss a more realistic plan tomorrow,” Pearl said, heading for the temple gate. “In the meantime, good night, kids. And uh… you too, Stan, I suppose.”
The conman merely rolled his eyes as the kids bade the Gems goodnight in return before they went inside the temple. “Whelp, I should’ve guessed those three wouldn’t be any help,” Stan deadpanned stoically.
“Aw, well… I bet the Gems will help you guys out however they can,” Steven reassured warmly. “And I’ll help too! Don’t get me wrong, I love that you guys are staying here, but I already miss going down to the Mystery Shack and seeing all the great stuff there!”
“Yeah… Same here…” Mabel said with a homesick sigh. “I mean, the temple is great and everything, but it’s a lot different than the musty, weird, creakiness of the shack.”
“Not to mention it’s a lot cleaner here,” Dipper noted, though his worried frown betrayed his sarcasm. “But still, I agree with you guys. For as old and rundown as it is, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss it too.”
“And that’s why we gotta get it back,” Stan said with firm resolve. Of course, his verve was soon broken however as Lion caught him off guard by wrestling his fez away with him so he could play with it, much to the conman’s great annoyance. “Ugh, and the sooner we get it back and get out of this nuthouse, the better.”
The next day saw a large crowd congregating outside of the Mystery Shack, a great deal of the townsfolk having heard Gideon’s announcement and eagerly showing up for whatever event he had to offer. The child psychic stood on the stage constructed before the shack, watching them all file in with a triumphant, satisfied smirk. “Hell, Gravity Falls!” he greeted in his usual bright, faux friendly way, especially as the crowd buzzed with excitement before him.
“Gideon is the psychic-est!” Lazy Susan exclaimed with delight. “He guessed the secret ingredient to my coffee omelet!”
“The kid was able to predict how many games there are at Funland Arcade without even counting ‘em!” Mr. Smiley added, also quite impressed. “Even I don’t know how many games I got in there!”
“Somehow he knew about my secret birthmark!” Toby Determined quipped as awkward as ever.
“His hair is very poofy and soft,” Nanefua Pizza noted with a smile. “I wonder what conditioner he uses.”
“Is that why we are here instead of at work, where we should be?” Kofi asked his mother pointedly. “Because if so, this is a waste of valuable pizza making time!”
Kofi’s disgruntled manner was soon traded with a burst of fear however, as Manly Dan let out a loud, powerful shout right beside him. “I love that child psychic so much!” the lumberjack cried, pulling Blubbs and Durland into a tight, choke-hold hug.
“Y-you’re chokin’ me!” Blubbs gasped for air amidst Dan’s firm hold.
“G-grandma, is that you?” Durland asked, his face turning purple from strangulation.
The various townsfolk continued to praise Gideon amongst themselves as they waited for the program to begin. Fortunately, none of them noticed the last group to arrive, one that consisted of the Pines, Steven, and Soos, all of whom had donned disguises just so they could gain entry into the event they would have otherwise been barred from.
“We’re in,” Dipper whispered to the others as soon as he was certain no one was paying them any mind.
“Just gonna say it.” Mabel smirked, fiddling with the faux mustache she had on. “I don’t know what we’re doing here, but I’m loving these fake mustaches!”
“It’s like a tiny little caterpillar on top of my lip!” Steven grinned, petting his own false mustache.
“Dudes, if anyone asks, I’m not Soos,�� Soos said, pointing to the sign he had put on his hat labeled ‘not Soos’ for the sake of solidifying his design.
Before either Dipper or Stan could convince the others to be serious about their mission, Gideon spoke up from the platform, addressing the crowd with a broad grin. “Ladies and gentlemen! Today I am delighted to announce my plans for the former Mystery Shack! I give you…. Gideonland!” With a flourish, the child psychic unveiled a scale model of what seemed to be a small amusement park, complete with rides, signs, and even a towering statue of Gideon to top it all off. The disguised group in the back all let out shocked gasps upon seeing the child psychic’s ambitious plans, but even so, the townsfolk all showed their full support of it with a rousing round of applause and cheers.
“That’s right, folks!” Gideon proclaimed proudly. “We’re gonna turn this dirty ol’ shack into three square miles of Gideon-tertainment! And, if all goes well, then we’re even lookin’ to expand up the hill a bit…” The child psychic’s smile turned ominous as he glanced up to the Gem temple, hidden greed and spitefulness in his eyes. “Now, allow me to introduce our new mascot: Lil’ Gideon Jr!” Gideon sent a nod to his father, prompting Bud to pull off a sheet revealing Waddles, who was clad in a complete Lil’ Gideon costume, suit, wig, and all and looking quite miserable in it. “Boom! He’s a pig!”
“Waddles!” Mabel cried in heartbroken horror upon seeing her beloved pig reduced to such embarrassment. “You monster!”
“Alright, that’s it!” Stan shouted hotly, throwing off his disguise. The others did the same and followed the conman as he charged through the crowd, forcing their way to the front. Stan, Dipper, and Mabel boldly leapt onto the stage, while Steven and Soos remained at the head of the crowd to provide additional support if needed.
“Listen up, people!” the conman exclaimed fiercely. “Gideon’s a fraud! This kid broke into the shack and stole my property!”
“Arrest him, officers!” Mabel commanded, still deeply upset over what Gideon had done to Waddles.
“Yeah!” Dipper added, impetuously knocking the nearby podium over for emphasis.
“Such accusations!” Gideon gasped with false innocence. “Mr. Pines, I recall that you gave the property to me. Look, I have the deed right here!” To prove his point, the child psychic pulled said deed out of his suit and presented it to the large crowd as evidence.
“Well, that’s all the proof I need to see,” Blubbs concluded with a shrug.
“We love you, Lil’ Gideon! Sing them funny songs!” Durland exclaimed with a cheerful grin.
“But wait!” Steven interrupted, hopping onto the stage himself. “Gideon’s lying! He really did steal the deed to the Mystery Shack! I was there when it happened; we all were!”
“Y-yeah!” Stan exclaimed with an agreeing nod. “What the kid said!”
Upon hearing such information from the young Gem, a mummer of doubt began to ripple through the crowd concerning the authenticity of Gideon’s story. After all, if there was one thing most of the people of Gravity Falls knew, it was that Steven rarely, if ever, lied. Unfortunately, that perception was a fact that Gideon was also well aware of, and he wasn’t about to let it throw a wrench into his rapidly succeeding plans.
“Oh ho, well certainly you must be mistaken, Steven, my dear friend,” Gideon forced a grin onto his face as he threw an arm around the young Gem’s shoulder. “Then again, it must be hard for you to keep track of what’s what when you’re always runnin’ off on adventures with those Gem compatriots of yours. Spending time with rocks probably knocks the ol’ noggin around a bit, you know what I’m sayin’, folks?” The crowd easily let out a charmed laugh at the child psychic’s joke, even if the young Gem was anything but amused by it.
“B-but I-” Steven attempted to protest, though Gideon was quick to put an end to it. With a mere snap of his fingers, the child psychic prompted the two burly thugs in his employ to round up the Pines and the young Gem and haul them away from the event. Despite their attempts to struggle and escape, the guards grabbed all four of them and began leading them away, but not before Gideon flaunted his victory over Stan once more.
“Now, get off my property, old man!” the child psychic exclaimed, slapping one of his pins onto the conman’s lapel with a smug grin.
“I’ll show you who’s the old man!” Stan challenged, though his boldness was interrupted as his hearing aid let out a high-pitched screech. “Ow! My hearing aid!”
“Thanks for visiting Gideonland!” Gideon cheerfully called out after the group as his thugs dragged them all away. “Don’t come back, I don’t care for ya’ll.”
It didn’t take long for the guards to toss the group outside the chain-link fence surrounding the property, and for good measure, they made sure to stand by it to ensure that they wouldn’t try to sneak in again. The Pines, Soos, and Steven all let out defeated sighs as they leaned against the fence, knowing that their initial attempt had been a complete and utter failure.
“Well, I had imagined that going a lot smoother than it actually did,” Stan said with a bitter scowl.
“Don’t worry, guys,” Dipper tried to encourage the best he could. “We’ll get the shack back somehow.”
“We better,” Wendy said as she rode up to the group on her bike. “If I can’t work at the shack, my dad’s gonna force me to move upstate and work at my cousin’s logging camp.”
“What? You’re leaving town?” Dipper asked, surprised and dismayed at the prospect of his crush being gone. “But we need you here!”
“Yeah,” Soos nodded in agreement. “Especially Dipper because of his huge crush on-” The handyman abruptly cut himself off upon catching Dipper’s harsh glare, though even so, the way he corrected his statement was quite awkward. “…you… calyptus trees! Ha! The kid loves eucalyptus trees!” Soos exclaimed with a nervous laugh. “Saved it!”
“Eucalyptus trees?” Steven asked with a curious grin, completely falling for it. “Is that true, Dipper?”
Dipper rolled his eyes at this, but before he could answer, a suddenly rustling in the nearby bushes caught the group’s attention. “Oh man, guys,” Wendy cringed, already knowing full well who it was. “Don’t look now.”
“Take me back, Wendy!” Robbie cried as he stood up from the bushes, holding a boom box over his head as it played a sappy love song. “My arms are too skinny to keep holding up with boom box forever!”
“Ugh, I was never here,” Wendy said coldly, mounting her bike and riding off.
“Have you been getting my texts!” Robbie called as he chased after her desperately. “Do I need to send you more texts!? Wendy!”
Dipper could only watch with growing distress as the cashier left, knowing that this situation had gone from bad to worse. Indeed, it had seemed that Gideon’s hostile takeover of the shack had created a ripple effect, one that didn’t just effect the Pines family alone, but Steven, the Gems, Soos, Wendy, and likely others none of them had even thought about yet. However far this ripple would reach, it was hard to say for certain just yet. But one thing was clear: it was easily and forcefully uprooting just about everything in its path, and it likely wouldn’t stop until there was nothing remotely familiar left at all.
“And then he had these really beefy guys drag us away, all before anyone could hear what really happened,” Steven finished explaining what had happened earlier to the Gems, who were all listening to the tale quite intently as they gathered in the living room.
“Isn’t it just tragic?” Mabel asked with a morose groan as she lay upside down on the couch. “Plus, he put Waddles in this hideous costume! Oh, you guys should have been there to see it! It was terrible!”
“Sounds like it,” Garnet nodded.
“Sounds like Gideon’s really stuck it to you guys,” Amethyst remarked with a scowl. “So what are you gonna do now? Try again tomorrow?”
“Actually… we were hoping you guys could give us some advice about what we should do next,” Dipper said, his tone tentative and hopeful. “We know you can’t all fuse and just defeat Gideon like that, but you could at least help us brainstorm some ideas, right?”
“Hm…” Pearl started to muse thoughtfully. “Well, in our experience, chain link fences never really prove to be much of an obstacle… But wrenching the deed away from Gideon would likely be the hard part…”
“We could always just beat the little loser up without fusing,” Amethyst suggested with a shrug. “And believe me, that’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time now. The kid’s just asking for a good punch in the face, if you ask me.”
“As fast and as easy as that could be,” the white Gem said with a frown. “We’re not really at liberty to do it. Our job is to protect humans, no matter who they might be or how devious and dishonest they might be. Harming any of them, regardless of their actions strays quite a bit away from the Crystal Gem manifesto.”
“We have a manifesto?” Steven asked. “That’s so cool! By the way, what’s a manifesto?”
“Can’t you guys make an exception, just this once?” Mabel asked pleadingly. “Please?”
“We’re sorry, kids, but no,” Garnet said firmly. “The only time we step in and use force to restrain humans is when they harm each other or one of our own. It was a rule Rose Quartz firmly believed in and it’s our duty to follow that rule even today.”
“Aw…” Dipper and Mabel sighed in disappointed unison, both of them flopping onto the couch dejectedly.
“Blah… What are we gonna do?” Mabel asked with a loud groan. “Staying up here with you guys is great, really, but I’m running out of room to store all my sweaters!” She nodded to Steven’s rather cramped closet, filled to the brim with her large collection of sweaters in addition to the young Gem’s own clothing.
“What’s Stan gonna tell Mom and Dad?” Dipper asked with a much more rational concern. “Chances are they’re probably not gonna like hearing that we got booted out of the shack and we’re all technically kind of homeless now.”
“You guys aren’t homeless! Your home is here with us!” Steven exclaimed with an understanding smile. “Well, for now at least. Right, guys?” he asked the Gems, who merely replied with a round of various uncertain murmurs. While none of them wanted to admit it, they didn’t really have any real long-term solution they could offer the kids. As it was, their hands were tied. And unless something were to change, there wasn’t really anything even they could do to help the twins out of their current plight.
“And besides,” the young Gem added, trying to remain positive as usual. “I’m sure Mr. Pines will think of something to tell your parents in the meantime. He’s good at-”
“Lying?” Pearl interrupted with a disapproving frown.
“Well, I was gonna say coming up with stuff…”
“Yeah,” Amethyst chuckled. “That’s pretty much what lying is in a nutshell.”
The group shared a small, albeit half-hearted laugh at this, one that didn’t really do much to lighten the mood. Of course, Steven hadn’t exactly been wrong in implying that Stan was fabricating something to tell the twins’ parents, seeing as that was exactly what the conman was currently doing at the moment. “Don’t worry, your son and daughter are fine,” Stan reassured as he stood on the porch, speaking to his concerned relatives over the phone. “Where are we staying? Uh….” The conman hesitated, stealing a glance up at the temple before coming up with a clever lie. “I put ‘em up in this amazing four-star hotel! Real ritzy place. Plenty of space for them to run around, and uh… there’s even a fancy statue right outside for them to play on!”
Stan forced a smile as he said all this, knowing that even despite the Gems’ agreeing for them to stay there, this new living arrangement could only be a temporary one at best. The Gems had never actually said anything to the conman about them eventually having to leave, but he knew. There was just too many complications that would come along with their stay lasting longer than a few mere days.
“What?” the conman asked, having missed the question the twins’ mother posed. “Uh, sure, we got… plenty to eat,” he lied again, knowing that between him, the twins, and Steven, the fridge inside had already been nearly cleaned out. Of course, Greg always provided his son with money for groceries and whatnot, but Stan knew he couldn’t very well ask his former employee to do the same for him and the twins. His pride simply wouldn’t allow it. “Relax,” Stan assured his relatives once more. “If I thought I couldn’t take care of these kids, I’d send them back right away. Uh huh. You too.”
The conman saved his defeated sigh for the moment after he hung the phone up. Uncertainty seemed to overwhelm him as he leaned against the porch’s railing, rubbing his temples. Only about a mile down the hill, the Mystery Shack rested in its usual spot, so close, yet so far, especially with the fence and sign Gideon had erected all around it. As much as Stan wanted to blame the deceitful child psychic for all this, the conman knew he could only really blame himself. He should have paid more attention, should have taken Gideon’s threats and schemes more seriously instead of shrugging them off like he did everything else. Maybe then, him and the twins would still be safe and secure at the shack instead of upset and uncertain here at the temple.
His conversation with the twins’ parents only made Stan more worried over how this situation might possibly turn out. So far there had been very few signs of the possibility that things would get better in the near future. True, they all did have a roof over their heads at the very least, but the conman knew he couldn’t really provide much else for his nibblings. All of his savings were hidden in various nooks and crannies back at the shack, and with no access to them, he was starting to run dangerously low on funds. If he was perfectly honest with himself, Stan knew that he wouldn’t be able to care for Dipper and Mabel like this for much longer. Honestly, he was getting to the point where he didn’t know how he’d care for himself in the long run. Still, in the end, Stan realized, that above all else, he had to do what was best for was best for the twins.
Even if what was best for them wasn’t what was best for him.
The fireplace in the shack’s parlor burned brightly, especially as it began to consume the photo of the Pines family that Gideon had just tossed into it. The child psychic chuckled wickedly as he watched the picture of his enemies burn for a moment, before turning his attention back to the second journal resting on the nearby desk. He was quickly distracted from it, however, by the sound of Waddles desperately scuffling to escape by climbing out the window. The poor pig’s attempt was immediately put to an end with a harsh, sharp blow from Gideon’s whistle.
“You! Back to your corner!” the child psychic ordered fiercely, frightening Waddles enough to send him cowering to the corner of the room fearfully. Satisfied that he would stay put, Gideon began leafing through the journal once more, paying no mind to his father as he entered the room with the reclaimed sad clown painting Stan had stolen from him weeks ago.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you, boy,” Bud began, setting the painting down as he looked to his son. “Shouldn’t you be celebratin’ instead of sticking your head in that there book all day?”
Gideon didn’t answer this question right away, but instead shut the journal before turning to Bud with a dark, serious expression. “Father, have I ever told you the true nature of this book?” he asked, glancing down at it. “It was written many years ago by a brilliant unknown author who learned secrets too powerful for one man. He hid his journals where he thought no one would ever find ‘em, because he knew that if the journals were ever brought together, they would unleash a gateway to unimaginable power!” A greedy, ambitious grin crossed the child psychic’s face as he mentioned this, knowing that this gateway, whatever and wherever it was, was his ultimate goal. “Codes and maps have lead me to believe that the other book is buried somewhere on this very property, and I intend to find it!”
“So that’s why you wanted the Mystery Shack,” Bud noted, somewhat overwhelmed by everything his son had just explained but still getting the gist of it.
“Exactly,” Gideon said firmly, grabbing a nearby shovel. “It’s time to begin the search for the other journal! And once I find it, not only will this town finally belong to me, but I’ll also be able to get rid of the only ones who could possibly get in my way: the Crystal Gems!”
The child psychic let out a sinister laugh, one filled with confidence over his upcoming victory as he held the second journal aloft. After all, his success would only be a matter of finding the first one; in fact, a large part of the other half of his plan lay in the form of the large effigy of himself being erected right outside. One that, when completed, would certainly be enough to crush the Gems, or anyone else who got in his way, once and for all.
Seeing as how they had nowhere else to go and no other plans left to try, the kids had resorted to distracting themselves from the ongoing stressful situation with a board game. Upon Steven’s insistence, the Gems had agreed to join them, largely for the sake of trying to cheer the still quite troubled twins up.
“Ok, Amethyst, it’s your turn,” Steven smiled at the purple Gem, prompting her to pick up a card from the game board.
“Aw, sweet!” the purple Gem smirked, looking over her card. “I got another dare one. Quick! Someone throw out a dare! Whatever it is, I’ll totally do it!”
“I dare you to body slam the table as Purple Puma!” Mabel exclaimed with a zealous grin.
“You’re on!” Amethyst shouted, already shapeshifting into her wresting persona.
“Now hold on just a minute! You’re not-” Pearl tried to stop the purple Gem, but of course she was too late. With a roughish laugh, Amethyst leapt high into the air before coming down on the coffee table, breaking it instantly and sending all of the game pieces flying across the house.
“Yeah! I win again!” Amethyst cheered, happily laying amidst the mess she had made.
“I’ll say you did,” Garnet said dryly as Pearl seethed with sheer frustration beside her.
“Uh maybe we should play something a little less… destructive?” Dipper suggested with a frown.
However, before the group could move onto a different game, the front door to the house swung open as Connie hurried inside. “Steven! I got your texts. Did all of that stuff really-” she cut herself off upon seeing around the table. “…happen?”
“Uh… yeah, it did,” Steven nodded with a shrug.
“So… you guys really did get kicked out of the Mystery Shack?” Connie asked the twins with a fretful frown.
“Yeah,” Dipper said with a sigh. “That’s the short version of what happened anyway.”
“But it’s not all bad!” Mabel said with a small, hopeful grin. “At least we get to stay here with Steven and the Gems and cuddle with Lion each night and play board games and stuff.”
“Well, it’s not so bad as long as we keep those board games under control,” Pearl remarked, sending Amethyst a pointed glare.
“But what are going to do now?” Connie inquired curiously. “Try to get the shack back?”
“We already tried that,” Steven said, frowning. “It… didn’t really go so great.”
“Aw, come on, you sad sacks,” Amethyst attempted to encourage the forlorn kids. “This mess isn’t over yet. I’m sure if we all knock our heads together or however it goes, we’ll come up with something!”
“Uh, actually… about that…” Stan cleared his throat as he came into the kitchen, a look of clear regret and dread already clear on his face. “Kids, we gotta talk,” he said to the twins, trying hard to avoid eye contact with them out of guilt. “Look, I’ve been thinking and… I can’t take care of you anymore. I don’t have a house or a job or too much of anything else really. The plan is… you’re goin’ home. Your bus leaves tomorrow. Here are your tickets.” With a sad sigh, the conman lay a pair of bus tickets on what was left of the table, much to the shock and dismay of everyone gathered around it. But of course, none of them were more upset over this news than Dipper and Mabel themselves, which was why they immediately tried to convince Stan against this decision.
“But Grunkle Stan, you can’t give up!” Dipper protested adamantly.
“Seriously, Stan!” Amethyst agreed hotly, angered by the very thought. “I’ve known you for a long time and I’ve never seen you just… throw in the towel like this!”
“That’s true,” Pearl nodded, also quite against this idea. “I hate to admit this, Stan, but if there’s one thing you’re not, it’s a quitter.”
“Please don’t send us home, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel pleaded as morosely as she could, hoping that her charm could somehow change her uncle’s mind. “There’s still so much summer fun left for us to have here in Gravity Falls! It can’t end just like that!”
“Look, I lost, ok?” Stan asked, trying to be gruff and firm on the matter, even if his facade was quickly crumbling into woe and remorse. After all, for as much as the twins tended to get on his nerves, the last thing he wanted was to see them go so soon either. But he knew this was what he had to do; he had no other options left. “The best thing for you both is for you to be with your parents. Sorry, kids. Gideon won. Summer’s over.”
The conman let out a dejected sigh as he glanced away from the twins, though he still caught their heartbreaking looks of disbelief and desperation nonetheless. Unable to bear that along with the thought of sending them off after having grown so attached to them, Stan simply hurried out of the house without another word, leaving a very confused, very somber group behind.
“Oh…. We’re so sorry, kids,” Pearl said with genuine sympathy as she placed a hand on both of the twins’ shoulders. “I don’t understand why Stan thinks he needs to do this. We already made it very clear that you both are allowed to stay here for as long as you need to.”
“It’s because Stan’s being a stupid quitter, that’s why,” Amethyst growled bitterly, kicking the crumbled table as she crossed her arms.
“Y-you guys can’t just go!” Steven cried in distress as Connie nodded her equally worried agreement. “It feels like we just met a few weeks ago!”
“It was just a few weeks ago, Steven,” Dipper pointed out glumly.
“Yeah, but still, you can’t leave so soon!” the young Gem exclaimed earnestly before turning to the Gems. “Isn’t there something, anything we can do to keep this from happening?!”
The Gems didn’t answer immediately as they all exchanged a tentative, saddened glance, their expressions alone revealing that they were at just as much of a loss as the kids were. But as usual, Garnet was the one to be strong for her teammates and voice it aloud, as difficult as it was. “Dipper, Mabel,” the Gem leader began, a hand on each of their shoulders. “The last thing any of us want to see is for either of you to go… But in the end, this isn’t our choice, or even yours. It’s Stan’s. And if his choice is to send you home then… you’ll have to accept that. All of us will have to accept that,” she finished firmly, looking to her fellow Gems as well as Steven and Connie.
Amethyst and Pearl let out defeated sighs upon hearing this, knowing that there would be no more arguing with their leader on this matter. Unsure of how else to comfort the twins on this tremulous matter, they simply and silently followed Garnet to the temple gate, their heads hung as they sent brief, apologetic glances to the kids. “Again, we’re sorry,” Garnet said as the door slipped open, turning to them one more time. Her frown briefly turned into a small, encouraging smile after her teammates retreated into the temple though, as she imparted the kids with one last message of hope. “But remember: even if Stan has given up, that doesn’t mean you all have to.”
Without another word, the Gem leader stepped into the temple, leaving the kids to soak in what she had just said as the light from the gate faded. Indeed, the conman had given up, he had found no hope in their current situation, and no way to change any of it at all. But where he had quit, the kids keep on going. They could persist, persevere, perhaps even prosper. All they had to do was try. After all, this wasn’t over yet.
“Ok, Mabel, that’s enough!” Dipper exclaimed with bold, newfound resolve. “Garnet’s right. If Stan won’t get our home back from Gideon, then we’ll have to do it ourselves!”
“Yeah!” Mabel cheered, already ready to do whatever they had to to reclaim the shack.
“Count us in too!” Connie smiled with clear determination. “Between the four of us, there’s bound to be a way to get the shack back!”
“Yeah, we’ll do whatever we can to help!” Steven proclaimed brightly. “Nobody can break the four of us up! Know why? Cause we’re…” the young Gem trailed off with a grin, hoping that the others would follow his lead, even though they didn’t. “Uh, this is the part where we’re all supposed to cheer ‘Mystery Kids’.”
“Oh…” the others mused in realization before they launched into a resolved, unified cheer. “Mystery Kids!”
“With all four of us working together, this’ll be a piece of cake!” Mabel exclaimed confidently. “And besides, Gideon may have the upper hand, but we have something that he doesn’t.”
“The journal!” Dipper proclaimed, holding the book up.
“A grappling hook!” Mabel declared at the same time, lifting the hook up before catching the odd looks the others were giving her. “Oh, right. The… the journal. Journal!”
With their mission in mind, the kids set out the next morning, their intrepid resolve and their need to act fast proving to be more than enough to drive them along. After all, quite a good deal was at stake this time; and if they didn’t succeed, then it could mean the end of their still-developing friendships, an outcome that was unthinkable for all of them. And so, they decided to begin their task with a stakeout right outside the property line of the Mystery Shack, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to easily get in so long as it was fenced off and guarded as it was. Gideon and his hired cronies had clearly already made some progress on “Gideonland”, as could be seen by the abundant construction equipment and the nearly-finished massive metal statue of the child that stood beside the shack. It was an intimidating setup, to be sure, but one that the kids would have to overcome if they ever hoped to get the shack back and save their summer.
“Alright,” Dipper began as they lay low in the bushes surrounding the fence, observing the ongoing construction. “The bus that’ll take us out of Gravity Falls comes at sundown. If we wanna stay in town, we’ve got to get past those guards, make it through the fence, and get Gideon to hand over that deed.”
“Sounds easier said than done…” Connie noted with an anxious frown as she glanced up at the towering fence.
“Don’t worry, guys!” Mabel exclaimed with a broad grin, whipping her grappling hook out. “Just leave that to Mabel! Wa-chaw!” Not paying much attention to her aim, she fired the hook, which happened to strike a tree before ricocheting right back and hitting Dipper squarely in the face, knocking him to the ground.
“Ow!” Dipper exclaimed in both pain and frustration as he picked himself up, rubbing the sore spot in his forehand as he handed the hook back to Mabel. “Now will you admit that grappling hook is useless?!”
“Nope!”
“So how are we gonna get over that fence?” Steven asked curiously. “Are we gonna build a catapult and fling ourselves over it? Because I’ve always wanted to use a catapult!”
“What? No,” Dipper shook his head. “We’re gonna use this, remember?” He pulled the journal and began leafing through it as the others gathered around to look as well. “Now, what can we use to defeat Gideon? Let’s see… abominable bro-man?”
“Yeah!” Mabel and Steven quipped in agreement.
“Nope,” Dipper quickly turned the idea down, turning the page. “Butternut squash with a human face and emotions?”
“What?” Connie asked, aptly bewildered.
“Yeah!”
“No,” Dipper rolled his eyes, flipping to yet another page, one that caught everyone’s attention.
“Whoa, what’s all that?” Connie asked, looking over the complex, intricate design on the page.
“I honestly have no idea,” Dipper admitted, glancing at the page himself. “I’ve stared at this page for hours. It seems like a blueprint to build some kind of strange futuristic super-weapon-”
“Boring!” Mabel interrupted. “To get rid of those guards, we need some kind of army.”
“Wait a minute!” Dipper gasped as a sudden idea came to him upon hearing this. “An army! Mabel, that’s it! The gnomes!” he exclaimed, holding the gnome page in the journal open for the others to see.
“Uh…” Mabel frowned, tugging at the collar of her sweater nervously. After all, she certainly wasn’t keen on the idea of contracting the gnomes for help, especially after they kidnapped her, tried to force her into marrying them, and then brutally attacked her and Dipper when she refused.
“Hey, that could actually work!” Steven exclaimed with a grin. “There are so many gnomes out in the woods that Gideon wouldn’t know what to do with them all! Plus, they’re really, really stubborn too and surprisingly tough for being so cute and tiny.”
“Oh, we know all about that,” Mabel remarked, still hardly in favor of this idea.
“But didn’t you guys say you had to fight the gnomes off with a leaf blower before?” Connie asked. “What makes you think they’ll wanna help us?”
Dipper smirked as he closed the journal, hoping that all of the lessons Stan had taught him and Mabel in conning and persuasion would pay off now. “I’m sure we’ll think of something…”
Fortunately, the lush, mystical forest that the gnomes called home wasn’t too far of a hike from the shack. Still, the kids made sure to keep their guards up as they ventured into the reclusive cove, unsure of how their encounter with the potentially violent gnomes might turn out.
“I think this is their hiding spot…” Dipper said, recalling the familiar surroundings from when he rescued Mabel from the tiny men weeks ago.
“Yeah, it definitely is,” Steven agreed. “I’ve chased the gnomes back here enough time to know. You wouldn’t believe how many times they’ve broken in the temple to steal food!”
“Sounds like they get around,” Connie remarked with a small chuckle.
“I wonder what gnomes do out here all alone in the forest?” Mabel mused, though she soon got her answer as they made it to the heart of the cove. There, sitting in a bathtub filled to the brim with scurrying squirrels, was Jeff, the de facto leader of the gnomes. He happily relaxed in his odd squirrel bath, until he noticed the group of kids watching on in shocked disgust.
“Ah!” Jeff exclaimed, also quite surprised to see them though he quickly collected himself. “This… this is normal. This is normal for gnomes.” To prove his point, he proceeded to scrub his armpit with one of the many squirrels running around in the tub. The kids could only exchange a repulsed, dumbfounded glance at this, unsure of even what to say about it, which only prompted Jeff to continue. “Well, well, well,” he began with a broad smirk, reclining back in the tub. “Look who came crawling back. Take five, Chris,” he said to one of the countless squirrels, which hopped out of the tub. “The rest of you guys keep doin’ what you’re doin’. So, changed your mind about marrying us, did ya, Mabel?”
“Ew, hardly!” Mabel cringed in revulsion. “We just need your help. And seriously, ew!”
“You want our help?!” Jeff asked hotly. “After you left us at the alter? No dice! Unless…”
“Unless what?” Dipper inquired, almost afraid to ask.
“Unless you hook us up with that other cutie you got there,” Jeff smirked, sending a flirtatious wink Connie’s way.
“What?” Connie asked with a confused frown. However, she didn’t have a chance to really react further as a small crowd of gnomes emerged from the nearby greenery and surrounded her, all of them poking and prodding at her in curious inspection.
“Ooo, her hair is so long and full!” one of the gnomes exclaimed, standing on the shoulders of his companion to run his fingers through it. “And luxurious!”
“’Course, the glasses are gonna have to go!” another gnome quipped, snatching her glasses away from her. “Can’t have them flying off and stabbing one of us in the face!”
“Hey!” Connie protested, grabbing them right back as yet another gnome forcibly grabbed her hand.
“Say, what’s your ring size, sweetie?” he asked with a charming grin.
“O-ok, this is getting too weird and uncomfortable for me,” Connie quickly said, making sure to put distance between herself and the very forward gnomes.
“You guys can’t marry Connie!” Steven exclaimed, rushing to stand before her.
“Oh look, it’s that Gem kid again,” Jeff remarked dryly. “Are those three knockouts you live with still playing hard to get?”
“Uh, yeah…” the young Gem frowned. “Pearl’s still kinda mad about the last time you guys tried to sneak into her room and sing that love song to her.”
“Hey, not all our plans can be winners,” Jeff shrugged apathetically before turning to Connie and Mabel. “We’re still short one queen here, no matter how you cut it. So, are one of you two dolls gonna marry us, or what?”
“Uh, no, that’s not happening,” Connie shook her head, her tone firm. “Ever.”
“Aw, but why not?!”
“Because… Because we can get you a new queen!” Mabel quickly interjected, rolling with her newfound idea. “One that’s even more beautiful than me or Connie!”
“Oh yeah!” Dipper exclaimed, catching onto Mabel’s drift. “Her name is Gideon, and she has lovely white hair.”
“Huh?” Steven asked confused. “But Gideon’s not a-”
“Shh!” Connie abruptly cut him off before he could innocently ruin their plan.
“Whoa, mature woman, huh?” Jeff asked, intrigued. “Hey, Shmebulock! Get my cologne!”
“Shmebulock!” another gnome exclaimed gruffly, carrying in a bottle of cologne that was almost as big as he was.
“Is Shmebulock all you can say?” Jeff asked, somewhat concerned.
“…Shmebulock…” Shmebulock nodded sadly.
Jeff simply shrugged at this before turning back to the kids with a broad grin, one that they returned as they realized their plan was coming together perfectly. “It’s a deal!”
Stan let out a long sigh as he slumped against the counter at Greasy’s Diner. He had decided this was as good a place as any to take refuge away from the temple, so he wouldn’t have to see the twins’ pleading glances or hear the Gems’ judgmental whispers. The conman knew he should have been spending these last few precious, fleeting hours with Dipper and Mabel before he had to see them off on the bus that evening, but he couldn’t really bring himself to do it. The thought of having to bid them such a sudden farewell alone was difficult to deal with enough; the last thing he wanted was to be reminded of it.
“Waiter, give me a glass of the strongest, most expired apple cider you got,” Stan addressed the nearby waiter, hoping that the cider could at least help him feel a little better about all this.
“Sure thing, Mr. Pines.”
Confused, the conman glanced up to see none other than Soos working the counter, clad in an apron and all. “Soos? What are you doing here?”
“Well, since the Mystery Shack shut down, I’ve had to take on a bunch of part time jobs,” Soos explained as he rubbed a glass clean. “Grave digger, bus driver, really awesome cook… Hey, is the kitchen supposed to have that much fire in it?” Alarmed, the handyman rushed into the kitchen, using a fire extinguisher to put out the flames covering the stove.
“You’re a good man-child, Soos,” Stan said with a sigh. “But its not lookin’ good. This whole town loves Gideon and hates me. If only they knew how evil he really was!”
“Hey, I’m here for you, dude,” Soos smiled, walking up to the conman and putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“The entire lower half of your body is one fire,” Stan pointed out.
“Shh…” Soos quieted calmly, not noticing the smoke rising from his pants. “We’re having a moment.”
Even though construction on Gideonland was in full swing, the child psychic himself wasn’t fully devoting much of his attention to it at the moment. Instead, he had devoted himself to his first and foremost goal: finding the other journal.
“Where are you, journal?” Gideon muttered petulantly to himself as he started digging another hole next to the countless empty ones he had made on the fringes of the property. “Where are you!?”
“Boy, I hate to interrupt you,” Bud cut in as he approached his son. “But you have some guests.”
“What?” Gideon scowled, glancing over to the fence to see Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Connie gathered outside it.
“Give us the deed to the shack, Gideon!” Dipper demanded firmly. “Or else!”
The child psychic simply rolled his eyes at this, clearly not taking them seriously. “Oh, I’m just shakin’. Am I supposed to say ‘or else what’?”
“Yes, you are supposed to say that!” Mabel exclaimed before calling to the hidden army in the nearby woods. “Now!”
At this command, the kids cleared out of the way as the crowd suddenly began to rumble before a vast force of gnomes broke out from the forest, riding atop various woodland creatures as they easily broke through the fence. Gideon let out an alarmed gasp at this, especially as still more gnomes appeared on the roof of the shack, all of them organized into a deadly force when combined. Their surprisingly pointy hats were all aimed right at the child psychic, who was cornered and unable to escape as the kids approached him.
“Nice work, you guys!” Steven congratulated the gnomes brightly, rewarding the ones near him with some chips he had brought. “You all did great! It just goes to show yet again that teamwork always works!”
“Where’d you hear that one from?” Connie asked with a small laugh.
“I made it up!”
“It’s over, Gideon,” Dipper said with hardened resolve. “You’re surrounded by an unstoppable gnome army. Now give us back out deed and get off our property!”
“And let the marriage ceremony begin!” Jeff added enthusiastically as he sat atop his deer mount.
“Very well,” Gideon sighed in defeat, reaching into his suit, presumably for the deed. “I suppose this deed belongs to-” He cut himself off as he pulled a whistle out instead of the deed, blowing it loudly and quickly. At once, the gnomes all collapsed from their organized formations, the high-pitched noise irritating all of them all to the point of submission, much to the kids’ shared shock. “Ha! What do you know? It works on gnomes too!” Gideon chuckled as he blew the whistle once more.
“Stop!” Jeff pleaded desperately, bowing before the child psychic. “We’ll do anything! How can we serve you your majesty, the most beautiful girl we’ve ever seen?!”
“I am not a girl!” Gideon shouted harshly.
“Really? But your skin is so soft,” Jeff noted, rubbing the back of the child psychic’s hand. “Do you moisturize or…”
“Subdue them!” Gideon ordered, ripping his hand away before pointing to Dipper, Mabel, Steven, and Connie. The gnomes of course complied as they charged for the kids, easily outnumbering them and capturing them all. The child psychic laughed triumphantly as he watched his foes flutily struggle, but ultimately fail, to break free from the already firm hold the gnomes had on them. “I have to admit, kids, I am impressed by your creativity! How did you ever manage this little scheme?”
“Uh, we just bribed them,” Connie shrugged amidst trying to escape from the gnomes holding onto her and Steven together.
“Oh?” Gideon asked, turning his attention to her somewhat curiously. “And who might you be? I don’t recall ever seeing you runnin’ around with this lot before.”
Before Connie could really answer, Steven let out a startled gasp as he looked over at her and noticed a small, but still lightly bleeding cut on her cheek, most likely gotten from their scuffle against gnomes. “Oh no! Connie, you’re hurt!” he exclaimed worriedly. “Here, I can fix it! Just let me-” The young Gem cut himself off as he licked his hand and then pulled against the gnomes to try and reach Connie, only to be interrupted by Gideon’s appalled scoff.
“Oh, I understand what’s goin’ on here…” the child psychic mused with a dark, jealous scowl.
“Huh?” Steven frowned, confused.
“Don’t act like you don’t know, Universe!” Gideon shouted, suddenly furious. “It’s clear to see that you’re nothing but a two-timing, womanizing scoundrel!”
“…What?”
“Just look at yourself!” the child psychic went on. “Cheatin’ on poor Mabel right in front of her with this other girl! You oughta be ashamed of yourself. Just goes to show that she should’ve chosen me instead of you.”
“What?!” both Mabel and Connie asked in dumbfounded unison, having no idea what Gideon was on about at all.
“Cheating?” Steven shook his head, bewildered. “What are you talking about? I’m not with-”
“Oh, and don’t think I haven’t forgotten about that little stunt you tried to pull at my openin’ ceremony the other day!” Gideon continued, clearly incensed against the young Gem at this point. “You almost had me worried there for a moment, tryin’ to convince the townsfolk of the ‘truth’, but in the end, you should have known it was destined to fail. Face it, Universe; this town may like you, but they love widdle ol’ me.”
“Ugh, ok that’s enough!” Dipper exclaimed, more than annoyed and frustrated with the accusations Gideon was throwing at Steven. With newfound verve, he began struggling against the gnomes once more, even though their tiny hands had an iron-like grip. “Come on, let go!” he shouted, pulling against the gnomes and not even noticing the journal slip out of his vest until it fell to the ground. “Oh no!”
“No, could it be?!” Gideon gasped, surprised as he spotted the journal and hurried to claim it before Dipper could. “It is!” the child physic grinned widely in excitement as he frantically flipped through the book. “Of course! It all makes sense!” Gideon smirked triumphantly at Dipper, who was trying harder than ever to break away from the gnomes now that the child physic had his hands on the journal and was making sure to keep it just out of his reach. “The one place I’d never think to look! You had it the whole time! And to think I actually considered you a threat!”
“No!” Dipper protested fiercely, desperate to get the journal back in any way possible, even if it was a futile effort. “Give it back!”
“Every victory you had was because of your precious book!” Gideon mocked smugly, more than happy to have the coveted volume all to himself.
“Give it back, or I’ll-”
“Or you’ll what, boy?” Gideon interrupted challengingly, getting up close in Dipper’s face since there was little he could do to stop him. “You’ll what? Huh? Huh?! No muscles, no brains. Face it! You’re nothin’ without this!” he exclaimed, pointing to the journal before waving the group off, ordering the gnomes to carry them all away with another blow of his whistle. “Bye, bye forever, ya’ll!”
“No!” Dipper shouted in destress, reaching out for the journal one last time as the gnomes dragged them all away.
Gideon simply saw the group off with a triumphant, wicked smile, one that only grew as he glanced down at the new journal in his hands. “With them gone, there are only three more obstacles left in my way…” he mused deviously, smirking at the nearly finished statue behind him first, then to the Gem temple up on the hill. “But I’ll make easy work of them soon enough. First thing’s first…” With another cold chuckle, the child psychic headed for the shack, knowing that now, no one, absolutely no one would be able to stop him.
The gnomes finally let the kids go at the entrance to the woods, none of them bothering to stick around much longer now that the plan had completely fallen through. “Next time, do your own dirty work,” Jeff remarked to the kids rather crossly before leaving. “Come on, boys!” At this call, three squirrels ran to him and jumped into his pants right before he scampered off as well, leaving the kids alone and quite forlorn.
“Well, that’s it,” Dipper said with a defeated sigh as he took a seat on a nearby tree stump. “Guess the bus should be here soon.”
“What?” Mabel asked as Steven and Connie mirrored her surprise. “Dipper, don’t give up! You always have a plan!”
“Yeah!” Steven readily agreed. “Like the time you figured out how to stop that Gem monster when we were exploring the temple!”
“Or when you chased that Gremloblin we caught off before it could do anymore damage to the shack,” Connie added just as insistently.
“Don’t you guys get it?” Dipper asked somewhat harshly, far too upset to be consoled now. “The journal was what bailed us out both of those times, not me! That’s always what has a plan! Gideon was right. The only courageous or cool things I’ve ever done have been because of that journal. Without it… I can’t help us, or Stan, or anyone…”
Mabel, Steven, and Connie all exchanged a saddened glance upon hearing this, none of them really sure of what to say. In a way, Dipper was indeed right; the journal had saved them from countless situations in the past. Without its guidance and wisdom, they had nothing else to go off but themselves. And seeing as how badly that had just backfired, they weren’t really in the position to go and try it again.
“B-but… there’s gotta be something we can do…” Mabel murmured despondently, looking to her brother for answers he simply didn’t have.
Dipper could only meet his sister’s worried gaze with palpable despair. He didn’t even need to admit that he had all but given up, seeing as it was clear to them all. “What can we do?” he asked morosely, voicing the one question that none of them had an answer to. As much as none of them wanted to admit, there was little else they could do now. They were out of time, out of options, and out of hope. And most importantly and most tragically: out of summer.
All too quickly, sunset had come, and with it, the bus that was to take Dipper and Mabel back home to California. A large, yet sad group had joined Stan at the bus stop to see them off, including Steven, Connie, the Gems, Wendy, Candy, and Grenda. The round of farewells had been all too short and all too sad, with tears shed and apologies made for how short the twins’ time in town had been. Candy and Grenda had to hold onto each other for emotional support as Wendy gave the most reassuring, playful goodbye she could offer, though it was clear to tell it was just a safeguard to keep her from getting too upset. While Amethyst tried her best to seem aloof and bitter, she couldn’t very well look either of the twins in the eye without tearing up as Pearl was simply trying to hold her pressing sobs back as best as she could, with little luck. A stray tear even slipped out from under Garnet’s shades as she promised the twins that they would all meet again someday. It was a promise that Dipper and Mabel certainly wanted to believe, but one that they found a hard time holding onto at a moment like this.
But of course, their parting with Steven and Connie had been among the hardest of them all. The young Gem was an inconsolable weeping mess, unable to bear the thought of his still rather new friends departing so soon and on such a sad note. Connie was also quite upset, quiet tears in her eyes as she lamented the fact that she hadn’t had the chance to hang out with either of them more but voicing the desire to remain in touch with them even after they were gone. Still, they all knew it wouldn’t be the same. Whatever fun times or adventures they might have had were now nothing more than distant dreams that would never be. For as hard as they had tried to stay together, the Mystery Kids had been inevitably torn apart. And no one knew if they’d ever be able to come together again.
Stan’s farewell had been the shortest and definitely the most painful. The conman had embraced both of his nibblings tightly, holding back sobs as he avoided eye contact with either of them. After all, how could he bear to meet their heartbroken, dejected glances now without being filled without even more regret over having to send them home like this in the first place. Stan knew this was all his fault, and the crushing weight of that guilt alone was enough to prompt him to shove the twins towards the bus with only a final word of goodbye.
It almost felt like the twins were entering another world entirely as they boarded the bus. Its empty leather seats and grimy exterior would be what was to usher them out of this strange new world that they had gotten so used to and had come to love over the past several weeks alone. A world of magic and mystery, of dangerous monsters, mythical creatures, and living gemstones, of friends and family that they desperately didn’t want to leave. Which was why Dipper and Mabel took to the back seat of the bus as it began to pull away, with the hope that, somehow, being so far back would let them stay in Gravity Falls for even just a second longer.
Stan could only turn away morosely as the twins looked to him through the back window. One final apology escaped him as the bus began to drive off, one that he knew they probably wouldn’t hear, but that was fine. It was meant more for himself than them anyway. “Sorry, kids,” he muttered brokenly, a single tear finally slipping down his cheek, even if none of the others saw it. “It’s for the best….”
The farewell party remained together and watching as the bus rattled down the road that led out of town, all of them wanting to get their last glimpses of it for as long as they were able. Steven choked out another sob as he leaned his head against Garnet’s leg, holding tightly onto Connie’s hand for support as she also broke down crying. The Gem leader placed a consoling hand on her young charge’s back while Pearl steadied Connie with a hand on her shoulder. In the end though, none of the Gems were really able to keep it together either; after all, for as strange and out of their usual habits as it was, they had truly grown attached to the twins almost as much as Steven had. And having to watch them go, especially under such circumstances, filled them with a sort of helplessness and despair that none of them really knew how to reconcile. But even so, they had to; for Steven’s sake.
Much like the group still at the bus stop, Dipper and Mabel continued to watch from the back window of the bus as the familiar sights of Gravity Falls passed by them far too quickly for their liking. Mabel shed silent tears as she leaned her head against her brother’s shoulder, needing whatever steadying support he could offer her right now. Dipper was nearly to the point of tears himself, but he forced them back, trying his hardest to be strong in all this for Mabel. Still, he couldn’t really hold back a miserable sigh, especially as the outskirts of town came into view. “I can’t believe this is happening…” he said dejectedly, wishing that this was all just a horrible nightmare but knowing that it was anything but.
If anything, it all became more real and more heartbreaking as the bus continued into the shadowy uncertainty of the hills ahead, rolling past a sign that only read “Now leaving Gravity Falls”.
Gideon snickered in treacherous triumph as he burst into the shack, his new journal in tow. The child psychic was beside himself with excitement over this find, one that would certainly entail him with everything he could ever desire. “I’ve got it! I finally got it!” he proclaimed as he rushed into the living room. “Get out!” he brusquely ordered his parents, who didn’t hesitate to follow his command and run out of the room.
“It’s finally mine!” Gideon exclaimed, running up to the table where journal 2 sat. “At last, I have journal number-” He abruptly cut himself as he set the new journal down, expecting to find a 1 on its over but instead seeing a 3. “Three?! There are three of them?!” Frazzled, the child psychic quickly reorganized the two journals, distraught that there was still one missing from the collection. “But where is journal number one!? I must have all three for the power to be unlocked! But where could it-” Gideon interrupted himself once more as he gasped in furious realization. “Dipper! He must know where it is! He gave me the third one and kept the first for himself!” Absolutely infuriated by this thought, the child psychic let out an unhinged scream of frustration, ripping out some of his hair in the process. “I can’t let him leave Gravity Falls!”
Wasting no time, Gideon grabbed the second and third journals and rushed outside, standing before the now-completed statue of himself. “You there!” he called up to McGucket, who had done nearly all of the work on it. “Is it ready?!”
“Heh, only one way to find out!” McGucket laughed, pulling the lever on top of the statue, or rather, robot. The robot’s vacant eyes began to glow brightly as the advanced machinery inside of it roared to life, sure fire signs that it was indeed working.
While Gideon had intended for his robot to be used against the Gems with the intent of destroying them all first, he knew that this would be a more than a suitable test run for it. Knowing he had not a moment to lose, the child psychic rushed into the robot, putting his specially-designed motion sensor suit on as he rode the lift up to the chassis in its head. As it was designed to, the robot mimicked Gideon’s forceful punch exactly as he did it, shoving the Gideonland statue it was holding into the ground. The child psychic grinned darkly as he guided his robot into action, its maiden voyage already underway as it started out towards the path that led out of town.
“I’ve got a good feeling ‘bout that kid!” McGucket quipped obliviously as Gideon left to put the robot he had built to use for untold destruction.
The ride back to the temple had been a silent and sad one. Steven, Connie, the Gems, and Stan really had nothing to say in wake of seeing Dipper and Mabel off, but one thing was immediately clear: they all easily missed the twins already. As soon as they had all gotten back, the Gems had retreated into the temple for a while, all of them needing at least a little time to themselves. Likewise, Steven and Connie had taken to sitting out on the porch together, hoping that the gentle calm of the summer evening could offer them some form of solace in such hopeless times. Stan, on the other hand, had gone inside and planted himself before the TV, unsure of what else to really do with himself now that the twins were gone.
“Well, Stan, this is it,” the conman lamented to himself, his head in his hands. “Rock bottom. No friends, no family, stuck watching infomercials for whatever that is…”
“Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?” the ad on TV blared obnoxiously. “Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!”
Stan let out a tired sigh as he turned his attention to the Gideon pin sitting on the bed next to him before he picked it up. “How’d you do it, kid?” he asked the pin, confounded. “Why are you always one step ahead? Maybe he really is a psychic after-” The conman was suddenly cut off as his hearing aid let out another high-pitched, painful whine. “Ah! My hearing aid! What keeps causing that?!” Stan groaned in frustration as he glared at the pin in his hands, his eyes going wide with the sudden realization he had upon drawing it closer to his ear and listening as his hearing aid screeched yet again. “Wait a minute! That’s it!” he proclaimed with newfound excitement. “I know Gideon’s weakness!”
“Stan,” Pearl said as she climbed onto the loft, her tone authoritative and firm. “If you’re going to be staying here for a while, there’s a few ground rules we need to-”
The white Gem was very suddenly cut off as Stan ran up to her and embraced her without warning, unable to hold back his elation. Alarmed, Pearl froze up as the conman easily lifted her off of her feet in his tight, very chummy hug, one that lasted far too long for her liking. After what felt like unbearable ages, Stan finally released her with a laugh before running downstairs and out the door, leaving Pearl behind to cringe in what was nothing less than absolute revulsion.
Stan paid neither Steven nor Connie any mind as he rushed past them and down to his car, not even bothering to spare a word about where he might be going, even as the kids watched him go in apt confusion. “I wonder where he’s going in such a hurry,” Connie mused with a frown.
“Maybe he’s going to chase after that bus and bring Dipper and Mabel back…” Steven muttered with a dejected sigh as he slumped against the porch table.
“Aw, Steven,” Connie frowned empathetically, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I miss them too… But look on the bright side; at least we got to say goodbye to them before they left.”
“We shouldn’t have had to,” the young Gem remarked, somewhat frustrated. “They should have been able to stay here for the rest of the summer, Connie. It’s not fair!”
“No… I guess you’re right,” Connie glanced down sadly. “It’s really not.”
“We were all gonna have so much fun together!” Steven exclaimed, reclining back in his chair lazily. “There were still so many Gem missions and mystery hunts for us to go on! And now they’ll never happen… It’s over… They’re gone…”
“If only we could have done more to help them,” Connie sighed remorsefully. “Hanging out with you and Dipper and Mabel this summer has made me believe that pretty much anything is possible. That no challenge was too big or too dangerous to get through. But… I guess there are things that even we can’t overcome, no matter how hard we try…”
Steven simply nodded in glum agreement with this, putting his head against the table once more. However, the table itself didn’t remain still for too long as the entire temple seemed to rattle with an apparent earthquake.
“W-what was that?!” Connie exclaimed, suddenly alarmed as she struggled to remain in her chair as the young Gem fell out of his.
“I don’t-” Steven began, though he was soon cut off as the ground rattled violently once more. As the sensation happened a third time, all three of the Gems abruptly rushed out of the house, just as alarmed as the pair on the porch was.
“Kids, what’s going on?!” Pearl asked frantically.
“Yeah, what’s with all the sha-aking?!” Amethyst tried to ask as another small earthquake knocked her off her feet.
Both Steven and Connie were ready to voice their own confusion, but Garnet’s sudden warning cry was more than enough to provide an answer to it. “Look!” she shouted, pointing down the hill. The group on the porch let out a unified gasp of shock as they watched a massive robot, at least 50 feet tall and built in Gideon’s image, begin to storm away from the shack, its pace getting quicker and more confident with each step it took. It did stop for a moment, however, and cast a glance up towards the temple, before it easily ripped a tree from the ground and threw it their way. Garnet quickly leapt into action and punched the tree cleanly in half before it could harm any of them, but even so, the Gideon-bot continued on its way, surprisingly not even bothering to launch another attack at them.
“The statue Gideon build down at the shack… i-it’s a… giant robot?!” Steven asked, aghast.
“We can’t let Gideon take that thing into town!” Pearl exclaimed. “Who knows what kind of damage he might cause with something like that!”
“That’s not where he’s heading,” Garnet noted, watching the robot as it disappeared into the woods, though still towered over most of the trees. “It seems like he’s going for the cliffs.”
“But why?” Connie asked, bewildered.
“Hey, maybe he’s gonna do us a favor and toss that huge eyesore right off the cliff,” Amethyst remarked, scowling after the bot.
“No,” Garnet said with a sudden gasp of rare fear as her future vision provided her with the truth. “He’s going after Dipper and Mabel.”
“What?!” Pearl and Amethyst exclaimed in horrified unison, both of them quite concerned for the twins’ safety in light of this.
“Oh no!” Steven cried worriedly as Connie let out a shocked gasp. “Garnet, are you sure?”
“Positive,” the Gem leader said, her hands curling into tight, angry fists.
“W-well we have to stop him!” Connie exclaimed with both worry and resolve. “He could really hurt them with that thing!”
“You two go on ahead,” Garnet said to Steven and Connie. “We’ll catch up with you soon.”
The pair nodded firmly with this plan as Steven called for Lion, hoping the pink beast would be able to keep up with such a massive machine. “Ok, Lion!” the young Gem exclaimed barely as him and Connie mounted the pink beast. “Let’s go save Dipper and Mabel!”
Lion simply roared in response as he ran off with the pair in tow, leaving the Gems behind. “So, what are we gonna do?” Amethyst asked Garnet with a worried frown, knowing they had to act quickly and decisively if they wanted to save the twins in time.
The Gem leader didn’t answer right away as she instead held her hands out, both of the gemstones on her palms starting to glow brightly. Her expression was hardened as she reached out and took both of her teammates hands, that glow transferring to their gems as well as they both realized exactly what Garnet’s intentions were. It was a dire move, true, but seeing as how these were dire circumstances, then they were at liberty to act as direly as they pleased. After all, they figured that if Gideon intended on harming either of the twins, then all gloves were finally off. “We’re going to break our rule.”
The further out of town the bus got, the lower the sun seemed to sink over the distant hills, almost serving as a grim reminder to the twins that their vastly fleeting time left in Gravity Falls was disappearing as quickly as daylight itself was. With each familiar landmark they passed, from the iconic water tower to the very falls the town was named for, the reality that they were really leaving, really heading back to their average, unextraordinary lives in California, seemed to set in more and more, as painful as it was. Still, Mabel could easily tell that Dipper was more upset about it all than even she was, seeing as how his crestfallen gaze had been fixated on the scenery rolling by out the window for most of the ride thus far. Mabel could certainly understand why he was so down though; after all, Dipper still largely believed that his failure to come up with a functional plan to defeat Gideon had been what had sealed their fate. It wasn’t true of course; it had been a combination of many unfortunate things that had led them to this point, but all the same, Mabel could hardly stand to see her brother so miserable, even if she wasn’t really feeling much better herself.
“Hey, Dipper?” she spoke up, finally breaking their longstanding silence. “Wanna play bus seat treasure hunt?”
“I’m not in the mood,” Dipper muttered glumly, not even bothering to glance over at her.
“Aw, come on!” Mabel encouraged with a soft smile as she pulled the nearest bus seat up and looked over what was stuck to it. “We got Canadian coins… gum that’s shaped like Ronald Reagan’s head… and ooh! Miscellaneous fluid stain?”
“Giant robot!” Dipper shouted, suddenly alarmed.
“Yeah, a giant robot,” Mabel agreed before realizing there was nothing under the seat that looked remotely like a robot. “Wait, what?”
“Look!” Dipper pointed out the back window, namely to the massive Gideon robot chasing after their bus in a heated pursuit.
“Halt!” Gideon shouted fiercely from inside his robot, more than determined to get what he was after. “I command you to halt!”
Aptly horrified by this unexpected and frankly terrifying turn of events, the twins let out a shared frightened scream, especially as the bus started to shake violently with every thunderous step the huge robot took towards them. Frantically, they both scrambled for the front of the bus, knowing that they could really handle something this dangerous by themselves.
“Mr. Bus driver!” Mabel cried, panicked. “There’s a giant Gideon-bot coming for us!”
“Oh hey, dudes!” Soos greeted as he turned to face the kids from the driver’s seat of the bus.
“Soos?!” Dipper and Mabel exclaimed in surprised unison, confused yet relieved to see the handyman.
“Don’t worry, guys,” Soos reassured, gripping the steering wheel. “I’ve been a part-time bus driver for at least 40 minutes now. One of these is probably a clutch…” Looking over the bus’ controls for a moment, the handyman pulled one of them, which fortunately enough happened to be the clutch. “Hang on, dudes!” he exclaimed as the bus lurched forward, picking up speed. The twins were thrown back a bit by this, but they managed to remain standing by clinging onto the bus seats, only to spot the Gideon-bot trying to grab the bus from behind. Fortunately, it missed as Soos swerved the bus to the side, but Gideon wasn’t about to give up that easily. Dipper and Mabel gasped in alarmed shock as the Gideon-bot easily leapt over the bus, landing several feet in front of it and blocking the road ahead.
“Soos, look out!” Mabel warned as the bus sped right for the robot’s open hands. Acting quickly, the handyman spun the wheel, veering off of the road entirely and onto the dirt path that led towards the floating cliffs. The group in the bus let out a collective cry of fear as they smashed through a ‘road closed’ sign, but they could hardly think of stopping as the child psychic continued to chase after them relentlessly, even as they began speeding up the hill to the cliff.
“I don’t understand. He already won!” Dipper exclaimed to Mabel as they watched the Gideon-bot begin to scale the mountain after them. “What does he want from us?!”
“I got you in my sights!” Gideon yelled from inside his robot, his monitor honing in on the bus as he drew ever closer to it.
The twins’ rapidly growing fear only increased as the robot reached down to try and grab the bus once more. However, upon taking a furtive glance towards the front window, they were able to see that there was something much more immediate they needed to worry about. “Soos, cliff!” Dipper shouted warningly as they came up on the cliff’s edge at an alarming speed. The handyman horridly floored the breaks, but even that wasn’t enough to keep the bus from spinning wildly out of control. In a palpable panic, Dipper and Mabel clung onto each other as they braced themselves for whatever impact might happen, but fortunately, the bus grinded to a halt right before it could plummet off the edge. It’s back wheels, however, did slip off, leaving the bus teetering half on the cliff and unable to move and therefore, unable to escape the Gideon-bot as it ominously finished its approach.
With a mere tug on the roof of the bus, the robot was able to rip it off as if it were nothing. Soos gasped in surprise as he met the automaton’s angry, glowing gaze, but even so, he quickly began leafing through his bus emergency manual to find a solution. “Okay, what’s closest to our present situation?” the handyman asked, flipping through the book. “Raccoon in the engine or angry grandparent won’t leave bus? P-probably the second one.”
Upon seeing that neither Dipper nor Mabel were in the bus, the Gideon-bot whipped around to see that the twins had escaped without him noticing and had fled for the train bridge connecting the two cliffs. They still had no idea what Gideon was after or why he was so intent on chasing them down, but they figured they could worry about all of that later. For now, their only thought was escape, an attempt that was quickly ruined as they reached the other end of the bridge, which was barred off by a dead end. The twins’ shared instinct was to run back for the other end, but Gideon beat them to the punch as his robot landed squarely on the bridge before them, blocking any hope of escape.
“Tell me!” Gideon demanded through his robot as it towered over both twins. “Where is journal #1?!”
Dipper and Mabel exchanged a bewildered glance at this, neither of them having the faintest clue about what the child psychic was on about. “Journal #1?”
“Don’t play games with me, boy!” Gideon yelled furiously, controlling his robot to punch the cliff right above the twins. As bits of stone and shrapnel rained down upon them from the impact, Dipper made sure to block Mabel from the brunt of it, even though they both got their fair share of cuts and bruises from the flurry of rocks.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Dipper exclaimed, still standing between the robot and Mabel in an attempt to protect her. “You took the only journal I ever had! What do you even want with these journals anyway?!”
“That is none of your concern!” Gideon shouted brusquely. “And if you won’t tell me where that first journal is, then I’ll find it myself!” Still as incensed as ever, the child psychic commanded his robot to snatch both twins up in its massive hands before either of them could even think to escape.
While both Dipper and Mabel tried their hardest to remain together, Gideon ultimately separated them easily as he held them both in separate hands, even despite their struggling against the robot’s tight grip. But even still, Dipper was by far more concerned for Mabel’s wellbeing than his own, especially considering Gideon’s dangerous affections for her. “Let go of her!” he shouted fiercely, beating against the robot’s hand in an attempt to break free and aid Mabel, who was trying to pry herself out of the automaton’s other hand.
“Ha!” Gideon laughed smugly as the robot’s hand tightened its grip around Dipper. “You still think you’re some kind of hero?! You ain’t nothing!” With another triumphant laugh, the robot tossed Dipper aside roughly, though Gideon made sure to still cling onto Mabel tightly. Fortunately, Dipper landed on the fringes of the other cliff, though it was anything but a gentle or smooth one. He hit the ground hard, sliding back until his head struck a rock, abruptly stopping him. A strong burst of pain and shock rattled his entire body as he blacked out completely for a moment or two. When he was able to sit up, he did so slowly and sluggishly as he realized he was sporting a bloody nose, aching back, possibly a concussion, and still countless other minor injuries from the landing that he likely wasn’t even fully aware of yet. Still, he was hardly distracted by any of that for too long, especially as he noticing the Gideon-bot start to carry Mabel away.
“Once I find that final journal, I’ll rule this town with you as my queen!” Gideon proclaimed to Mabel victoriously. “And I think I’ll begin my reign with shatterin�� three certain pesky Gems and their annoyin’ little prodigy!”
Mabel let out a fearful gasp upon hearing this, concern filling her for not only herself, but for Steven, the Gems, and her brother as well. “Dipper!” she cried desperately, flutily trying to pull herself out of the robot’s grip. “Help me!”
Upon hearing his sister’s panicked cries, Dipper got to his feet, nearly tripping from unsteadiness as he ran to the edge of the cliff but making it there nonetheless. Of course, it was only as he stood at the edge that he realized he had absolutely no idea what to do. As hurt and as weak as he was, he couldn’t possibly hope to rescue Mabel and defeat Gideon with just his bare hands. And really, he had no other options left in his arsenal. In fact, the only thing Dipper could really think of as he stood at the edge of the cliff, watching Gideon carry Mabel away as she still cried out of help he couldn’t give her were the child psychic’s own spiteful words, words that cut him deeper now more than ever before: “Face it, kid. You’re nothin’ without that journal. How are you gonna fight then? No muscles, no brains. What are you gonna do, huh? What are you gonna do?”
Dipper froze, his breathing hitching as he took a stumbling step back towards the surrounding woods as he realized there was only one crushing answer to this question: nothing. There was nothing he could do to put an end to this, to rescue his sister or his friends, to save the day and come out on top. It would be pointless and dangerous, likely even deadly to so much as try. After all, he was just one kid, a kid who had gotten lucky by discovering a special journal in the woods, and now even that was gone. And without it, what was really special about him after all? He didn’t have Mabel’s drive and creativity, or Steven’s empathy or powers. Gideon was right: all he had was nothing. He couldn’t get the shack or the journal back. He couldn’t stop Gideon from carrying out his sinister plans. He couldn’t even save his own sister. He couldn’t—he just couldn’t.
But just because couldn’t do it, didn’t mean he couldn’t try.
Acting on a burst of sudden courage, impulse, and desperation alone, Dipper quickly turned and started bolting towards the edge of the cliff once more, running for it as fast as his legs could carry him. He barely had a plan, and what little plan he did have could very well end up getting him killed, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t care now. Because Gideon had his sister and had threatened his friends and if there was one thing Dipper wasn’t going to let him get away with, it was that. And so, not bothering to stop for even an instant lest his rush of adrenaline and reckless bravery fade away, Dipper jumped off the edge of the cliff as high and as hard as he could, propelling himself towards the Gideon-bot with a determined shout. The robot turned, surprised as Gideon heard this, but the child psychic could do little as Dipper crashed into one of the automaton’s eyes headfirst. Though he likely sustained several more injuries in the process, he cared for none of them at the moment, especially as he rammed into Gideon, brutally tackling him to the ground. As a result, the robot stumbled backwards on the bridge, much to Mabel’s alarm, especially as the two boys began fighting inside its control chassis.
“Let go of my sister!” Dipper demanded harshly, holding Gideon down and landing a surprisingly strong punch, one that send the robot’s head reeling.
“Never!” Gideon shouted back, pushing Dipper down and throwing a hard blow of his own. “I finally won this time!”
The brawl continued on as they both exchanged a back and forth of punches, slaps, and kicks. Of course, all the while, the robot kept its tight hold on Mabel, even despite her continued attempts to escape it so she could possibly climb up and aid her brother in this fight. Still, as the duel went on and the robot teetered back and forth on the bridge from it, Steven and Connie finally arrived on the scene riding Lion, who came to a stop at the edge of the other cliff beside the bus and Soos.
“Whoa!” both kids exclaimed in bewildered unison as they watched the Gideon-bot stumble about.
“What’s going on?” Connie asked Soos, aptly concerned.
“Dude, I’m gonna level with you and say I have like, no idea,” the handyman admitted with a shrug.
“Steven! Connie!” Mabel exclaimed with surprise as she spotted them from her spot in the robot’s fist.
“Mabel!” Steven cried fearfully. “Don’t worry! We’ll save you!”
“Wait, where’s Dipper?!” Connie asked, glancing around for him and not seeing him anywhere.
“He’s-” Mabel was cut off as the robot reeled backwards once more in tandem with Dipper throwing another punch Gideon’s way. The child psychic was quick to retaliate with a hard and fast swipe that struck Dipper cleanly in the jaw, leaving quite a heavy bruise. Still, despite the pain, he hardly gave up as Gideon went in for another blow, one that he managed to catch with his open palm just in time. He was more than prepared to send it flying right back in the child psychic’s face, but before he could, a sudden heavy rumbling from outside abruptly interrupted the fight.
“Huh? What’s-” Steven’s confusion was cut off as him and Connie both turned to see a massive figure running their way, one that was easily as tall as the Gideon-bot, if not even larger. She couldn’t be described as anything else but a giant woman, with vibrant magenta skin, dark blue shades, thick mane of mint-green hair, and six long, powerful arms. All six of her hands were curled into tight fists as she arrived on the cliff-side, towering over everyone as all of the kids gaped up at her in absolute dumbfounded shock.
“GIDEON!” the giant woman roared fiercely, her voice deep and powerful as it came out of both her regular mouth, as well as the second, much more monstrous mouth underneath it. The ongoing brawl inside the robot had all but come to a grinding halt at the arrival of this intimidating being, especially as both Dipper and Gideon stared at her, confounded.
“W-who is that?!” Dipper asked, alarmed and slightly frightened by the woman’s imposing presence.
“No…” Gideon muttered, his jaw dropping in shock as he completely forgot about the ongoing fight. After all, he recognized this ferocious being right out of the pages detailing Gem fusions he had poured over countless times in journal 2. “It can’t be…. It’s-”
“Alexandrite!” Steven gasped in realization, still sitting atop Lion as he realized that this was indeed the legendary fusion of all four of his guardians. It only made sense, seeing as how she bore all four of their gemstones, as well as their shared resolve to protect those they commonly cared about.
With another bold shout, Alexandrite jumped down onto the bridge to square off against the Gideon-bot face-to-face. “Let them go!” she shouted firmly, her infuriated glare clear even despite her shades. “NOW!”
The child psychic’s stunned expression soon turned into a dark smirk, especially as he roughly shoved Dipper aside so he could focus on the fusion before him. “Well, well…” Gideon began, an air of knowing arrogance in his tone. “If it isn’t all three of the Crystal Gems, fused into one. Looks like I’ll get to kill two—or rather, several—birds with one stone! Are you ladies itchin’ for a fight? Well I’ll be more than happy to oblige!”
Without another word, the Gideon-bot threw the first punch, one that caught Alexandrite off guard as the blow sent her stumbling backwards. Still, the massive fusion was resilient as she quickly regathered her bearings and charged at the robot, barreling into it and using her second set of arms to push it back into the other cliff in an impressive show of strength. The robot attempted to fight back by swinging its fists out at Alexandrite, but she was quick to catch them both with her uppermost arms, while one of her lower fists landed a brutal uppercut. She made sure that her strike stayed far away from Mabel, but even so, both Gideon and Dipper were sent flying upwards in the chassis by the blow, only to plummet right back down immediately.
“Yeah! Go, Alexandrite!” Steven cheered, still watching this intense fight from the sidelines.
“This is seriously the coolest thing I’ve ever seen,” Connie noted, her eyes wide as the struggle continued.
“Tell me about it, dude,” Soos agreed, just as awestruck.
As soon as Gideon had regathered his bearings from Alexandrite’s last attack, he regained control of his robot enough to wrench its fists out of her grip. Though the fusion tried to rescue Mabel from the automaton’s grip first, she wasn’t quick enough to do so before the robot pulled her away. Frustrated by how he had underestimated Alexandrite’s great strength, the child psychic pushed her away and prepared to go in from another angle. However, in doing so, he had made one fatal mistake: forgetting about his other opponent.
Right as Gideon tried throwing another broad punch, Dipper rushed for him and tackled him to the floor, something that nearly sent the robot tumbling off the bridge entirely, though it somehow managed to remain standing. Alexandrite paused in confusion for a moment as she watched the robot’s head spin, not knowing that inside, Dipper was throwing punch after punch Gideon’s way, simply in an attempt to knock him out at this point. Yet even so, the child psychic had a surprising amount of endurance, especially as he harshly shoved him off with a brutal kick to the chest. Dipper was sent rolling sideways from the blow, and even though he wanted to get back up and keep fighting, his earlier head injury was finally starting to catch up with him, his vision tunneling and his limbs shaking to the point that he could barely keep himself up on all fours without passing out.
“Ha! That’s right! Just stay already down, boy!” Gideon remarked with a mocking grin, adding insult to injury as he stood over Dipper triumphantly. Of course, the child psychic had to make matters even worse by giving his opponent an unfair kick to the stomach, finally sending Dipper collapsing to the floor, semi-conscious and in even more pain than before. “Maybe that’ll finally teach ya. Now to back to the main event…”
Gideon smirked as he looked to out of the robot’s eyes to Alexandrite once more, the fusion rushing to come in with another blow. The robot cleanly blocked it though, seeing as Gideon no longer had any distractions to deter him, and instead went for a low blow to the fusion’s gut, one that sent her reeling backwards with a pained grunt. However, as the robot charged at her, Alexandrite took a different approach this time. Making use of her many arms, the fusion summoned Pearl’s spear from the stone on her forehead and Amethyst’s whip from the gem on her chest, before bringing them both together to create Opal’s longbow in a flash of light. The Gideon-bot stopped in its tracks at this, especially as Alexandrite summoned an arrow out of nothing and pulled it back on the bowstring, taking aim right for the robot’s head.
“It’s time to end this…” the fusion growled, her hair blowing in the wind that the energy of the arrow was creating. She was more than ready to send it flying in what would be an attack the robot certainly wouldn’t be able to fend off, but she was stopped mere seconds before she let the arrow loose.
“Wait! Stop!” Mabel shouted to Alexandrite, still held within the robot’s firm grin, her expression aptly panicked. “You can’t do that! Dipper’s in there!”
A sharp gasp escaped Alexandrite as she quickly shifted her aim right as the arrow flew out of her grasp. Fortunately, it soared right past the robot’s head, narrowly missing it as it instead crashed into the woods on the other cliff, burning out instantly. Still, Gideon quickly thought of a way to take advantage of the fusion’s newfound weakness as the projectile rushed by, especially as he looked to Dipper, still lying listlessly on the floor nearby.
“Looks like you might actually be useful after all, boy,” Gideon smirked deviously, grabbing Dipper by the wrist and hoisting him up off the ground. As much as he wanted to fight back against the child psychic, he really wasn’t in any position to do so, seeing as how his head was pounding, he could hardly breathe, and his limbs refused to cooperate with him.
“Listen here, Crystal Gems!” Gideon shouted boldly. “Because here’s how things are gonna go: either you three stand down, unfuse and surrender, admit defeat, and leave town forever, or… I’ll throw Dipper Pines out of this robot and off this bridge into the chasm below! Now, which’ll it be?”
“What?!” Mabel gasped, immediately horrified upon hearing this threat. “No! Dipper!” Fearful tears were already welling up in her eyes as she tried harder than ever to pull herself out of the robot’s hand, desperate to rush to her brother’s rescue before it was too late. After all, the thought of losing him, especially after he had so fearlessly and selflessly tried to rescue her, was far more than she could bear.
Likewise, Steven and Connie shared a shocked gasp at the fact that Gideon would go so far as to much such a violent threat. But as afraid as they were, the young Gem steeled his resolve as a sudden plan came to him, one that could hopefully save Dipper if Gideon really did go through his treacherous ultimatum. Acting quickly, Steven leaned down and whispered into Lion’s ear, wanting to keep their exit as discreet as possible so the child psychic wouldn’t notice. The pink beast nodded in gruff response before spinning around and running off, away from the edge of the cliff with both Steven and Connie still in tow.
Alexandrite herself froze as Gideon issued this demand, her longbow dissipating into thin air as the three Gems that she was composed of tried to assess the risky situation they now found themselves in and find a solution to it. However, all three of them completely disagreed internally about what to do; Amethyst wanted to just outright attack the robot head on in the hopes that they could retrieve Dipper before Gideon threw him out of it, Pearl wanted to devise a more tactical, safer, less dangerous plan, while Garnet was torn between both methods. And in the end, their indecisiveness gave way to instability.
The fusion let out a startled gasp as her form began to glow and waver, a sign that she was startling to fall apart as the Gems fell out of sync with each other. “No!” she shouted to herself, her voice breaking apart into that of all three Gems instead of one. “Cooperate!”
Gideon’s sly smirk deepened as he watched his plan work perfectly, especially as Alexandrite seemed to grow more and more unstable by the second. Dipper, on the other hand, could only watch with growing dismay as the previously undaunted fusion began to crumble apart all for his sake. He figured that if the Gems did end up surrendering and giving into the child psychic, he wouldn’t just let them leave alive and unharmed. Gideon had far too much disdain and ill intent towards them to let things end that easily. Certainly, he would take advantage of the moment and shatter them, or at least try to, and likely go after Steven and Connie in the process too. And as soon as he realized all this, Dipper knew that he couldn’t let all of that potential harm come to any of them because of him.
Which was why if the Gems couldn’t save him, he would just have to save himself.
Forcing himself to move despite the pain still pounding throughout his body, Dipper abruptly forced himself to stand correctly, wrenching his arm out of Gideon’s grip before grabbing both of the child psychic’s wrists and pulling them behind his back. “Hey!” Gideon cried in angry protest, struggling to break free, though this time, Dipper refused to let up whatsoever. “How dare you-”
“You guys!” Dipper interrupted, shouting to Alexandrite through the child psychic’s attached mic. “Hit him! Now!”
Startled yet somewhat relieved upon hearing this command, the Gems were quick to regain their composure and harmony, even if they knew they would only be able to hold it together for a moment more at best. But still, a moment was all they really needed. With newfound righteous fury, Alexandrite swung her fist out hard and heavy, decking the Gideon-bot squarely in the gut. As the robot stumbled backwards from the blow, Dipper remained on the offensive, pulling both himself and Gideon to the right hard, sending them both plowing to the floor. Offset by this sudden shift of weight, the robot also tilted right, until one of its feet slipped off the bridge entirely. Unable to catch itself, the entire automaton soon followed as it began to tip off the side of the bridge and start the long plummet down below. Alexandrite gasped in alarm as she saw this, and while she quickly reached her hand out in an attempt to catch the robot, or at least either of the twins, they were all too far out of her reach before she could.
As the bot descended into the valley below at a frightening speed, its grip on Mabel finally loosened, though she still clung onto its hand for a moment with a terrified scream. Likewise, Dipper let out his own frightened cry as he fell out of the robot’s chassis through the very eye he had busted in through. The twins’ wide-eyed, petrified gazes met for a moment before they crashed into each other mid-air, instantly embracing each other for dear life. Fortunately though, Mabel had a plan.
Acting quickly, she reached into her sweater and grabbed her grappling hook. Dipper didn’t even have time to ask before Mabel fired it straight upward, hoping that it would latch onto the bridge up above. Unfortunately, its reach was just a few feet shy of it, much to the twins’ shared dismay and dread as the hook began dropping back towards them. And yet, before their hopes at survival were crushed completely, a flash of light burst out of thin air above them, a portal forming and a familiar pink beast flying out of it.
“Lion, catch it!” Steven commanded, pointing to the falling hook. Lion did just that, grasping the rope right below the hook tightly in his maw. With a heavy tug of his head, the pink beast pulled the rest of the rope, and the twins clinging onto it, upwards, the force of which tossing them both up as Lion fell. With perfect timing and a good bit of luck, Dipper and Mabel somehow ended up landing squarely on Lion’s back behind Steven and Connie, right before the pink beast roared another portal into existence and leapt through it.
As the Gideon-bot crashed into the valley, an explosion erupted from it that was loud and powerful enough to catch the attention of nearly everyone in Gravity Falls. Townsfolk stopped dead in their tracks as the bright blue burst rattled the area, raising curiosity and worry as it broke through the otherwise calm of the evening. At the crash site itself, scattered pieces of the robot lay smoldering amidst burnt and knocked down trees, hardly a piece of the automaton left functional as sparks and small flames burst from it. Amidst these ruins, Lion’s portal emerged, and out of it sped the pink beast, still carrying the kids, all of whom, were at last safe and sound.
“Grappling hook!” Mabel cheered triumphantly, holding the hook that had saved her and Dipper up with a broad smile, one that the others all shared. “Told you it would come in handy!”
“You did great too, Lion,” Steven complimented the pink beast, who collapsed to the ground in exhaustion as soon as they all got off of him. “Take all the time you need to rest.”
“Mabel, that was amazing!” Dipper exclaimed, aptly impressed that Mabel’s grappling hook had actually come to their rescue after all.
“Not as amazing as you defeating that robot!” Mabel laughed warmly, though her smile soon faded a bit as she took in just how beaten up her brother really was. Not only were his clothes quite tattered from the brawl, but he sported far too many various cuts and bruises to count, some much bigger than others. His left arm hung somewhat limply at his side, his jaw was somewhat swollen, and his nose was still lightly bleeding a little. And given that was only what she could see on the outside, Mabel figured she had every reason to worry for her brother’s less than stellar condition. “But uh… are you ok, bro-bro? You look… not great.”
“Well… I’m not gonna lie. Pretty much everything hurts,” Dipper admitted, placing a gentle hand against his still very-much aching head. “In fact, I’m pretty sure I probably have a concussion and might need stitches in a few places. But I’m sure it’s nothing Steven and his, uh, healing spit can’t fix, right?”
An excited gasp escaped Steven upon hearing this suggestion, stars in his eyes as he gave Dipper an elated hug. “Of course, Dipper! I’d be more than happy to heal you up!”
“Ok, ow!” Dipper cried, cringing at the tightness of the young Gem’s embrace and how it aggravated his injuries. “Like I said, everything still hurts, Steven! You haven’t healed me yet!”
“Oh, sorry!” Steven quickly released him, blushing in embarrassment as Mabel and Connie laughed in shared amusement.
“Oh, there they are!” Pearl exclaimed as her, Garnet, and Amethyst rushed onto the scene, their expression awash in worry. Apparently, they had unfused between the twins’ fall from the bridge and now, though it did make sense, seeing as how Alexandrite had been steadily falling apart even before then. “Oh, kids!” she cried, throwing her arms around all of them in a relieved embrace. “We’re so glad you’re all alright!”
“Well, mostly alright,” Connie remarked, sending a small, sympathetic smirk Dipper’s way.
“Man, that thing went down hard, huh?” Amethyst asked, looking over the remains of the Gideon-bot. “We totally owned that slimy punk and his dumb robot!”
“We weren’t completely responsible for that…” Garnet said, picking up journal 3 as it lay on the ground nearby hand handing it to Dipper with a small, proud grin. “Excellent work, Dipper. I believe this belongs to you.”
“Thanks.” Dipper accepted the book back with a grateful smile. Simply having its familiar, brittle leather surface in his hands again filled him with unspeakable relief, especially since he had thought he had lost it forever this time.
“You guys were so cool!” Mabel exclaimed to the Gems brightly. “Or I guess I should say, Alexandrite was so cool! She was like ‘bam’! And ‘woosh’! And ‘punch’! And all sorts of other awesome actiony words!”
The Gems shared a laugh over this, one that was unfortunately short lived as others began to congregate towards the crash site. Curious over what had happened, a large crowd of townsfolk approached the wreckage of the robot, all of them murmuring in confusion over the shocking sight amongst themselves.
“Is this the thing that exploded?”
“What’s going on?”
“Look! It’s over here!”
“Hey, those magical women are here! Did they have something to do with this?”
As this large group began to gather, Gideon himself slowly climbed out of what was left of his robot, letting out a sullen groan as he ripped the remains of his motion-sensor suit off. Of course, as soon as the townspeople spotted them, they completely forgot about the Gems and the kids standing nearby and devoted their attention instead to the beloved child psychic.
“Gideon!” Deputy Durland cried with concern as him and Blubbs rushed to retrieve Gideon from the robot’s ruins. “Oh, good heavens! What on earth happened here?!”
“I-it was the Pines twins!” Gideon exclaimed, immediately seeking to place the blame on his enemies. “They tried to attack me and blow up my statue with dynamite! And then those Crystal Gems pushed it off the bridge and nearly killed me! Arrest ‘em! Arrest ‘em all!”
“What?!” the twins gasped in alarm over this bold claim.
“Officers, he’s lying!” Dipper argued, especially as the cops pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
“He certainly is!” Pearl agreed firmly. “You can’t possibly believe such a preposterous claim. We were trying to save the kids, the entire town, for crying out loud!”
“Pearl’s right!” Steven entreated earnestly, addressing the crowd as a whole. “I mean, just think about how many times the Gems have saved Gravity Falls before! L-like the time we brought the waterfall back when it was stolen! Remember that?”
A mumble of agreement rippled through the crowd upon hearing this, seeing as how none of them could really argue with the young Gem in that the Crystal Gems did serve to protect them and the town. But even so, Gideon wasn’t about to let victory slip through his fingers so easily.
“W-well, even if that is true, that doesn’t change the fact that they all destroyed my property!” the child psychic protested hotly. “I demand you arrest them! Every last one of them, at once!”
While the Gems may have had previous service on their side, the towns’ loyalty and devotion to Gideon won out in the end as the cops both shrugged turned back to the group, handcuffs still in hand.
“Aw, what? Come on, you can’t be serious!” Amethyst exclaimed, dismayed. “We didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Sorry, folks, but we trust Gideon,” Blubbs remarked, preparing to make the multiple arrests. “And nothing short of a miracle would ever change our-”
The sound of loudly screeching tires cut the sheriff of as a familiar car veered off the nearby road and onto the scene, ramming into the side of the cop car and sending it rolling sideways. Stan jumped out of it, still clad in his boxers, undershirt, and slippers as he instantly and excitedly caught everyone’s attention. “Wait! Wait! Stop everything! I’ve got somethin’ to say!”
“Ugh, not this guy again,” Blubbs groaned in annoyance along with the rest of the crowd.
“Just wait!” Stan exclaimed, running to stand in front of the ruined robot. “So, you all think Gideon is so perfect and honest, right? ‘Oh, I could never tell a lie! I’m Gideon!’” The conman mocked the child psychic, cute poses and all.
“Heh, nice one, Stan,” Amethyst chuckled at the spot on impression.
“He’s more honest than you!” Blubbs countered, sending Stan a suspicious glance.
“Yeah! And he’s psychic too!” Durland added.
“Oh really? How’s this for psychic?!” Stan brutally kicked a panel off of the robot away. “Take a good look!”
A collective gasp escaped from the crowd as they noticed the wide array of screens arranged inside the bot, all of them showing what seemed to be surveillance feeds of the people of Gravity Falls.
“Wait a minute, is that me?!” Lazy Susan exclaimed, spotting a screen showing her pouring coffee into an omelet to make her famous coffee omelet.
“Hey, look! That’s me!” Mr. Smiley shouted, aghast as he saw a video depicting him signing a notice to add several new games to Funland Arcade.
“And me!” Toby cried, pointing to the screen where he was showing his disgusting birthmark to a doctor.
The other townsfolk were all quick to spot themselves in the countless other screens, alarmed and horrified that they were being watched and recorded without their consent like this. “That’s right! These pins were hidden cameras!” Stan said firmly, holding a Lil’ Gideon pin up for them all to see. “And my hearing aid was picking up the feedback! Who’s the fraud now?” With a satisfied grin, the conman crushed the pin in his hand, revealing the tiny camera hidden inside. Aptly infuriated with the child psychic for this intrusion on their personal lives, the townsfolk all did the same, tossing their Gideon pins to the ground in shared disgust as they turned to the stunned child psychic for answers.
“Gideon… we gave you our trust…” Durland said, deeply hurt.
“You LIED to us!” Manly Dan shouted, completely enraged.
“P-please!” Gideon pleaded, desperate to win back the favor he was very quickly losing. “I… I—It’s not what it looks like! I-”
“Oh, its not?” Pearl cut in coyly, crossing her arms. “Because what it does look like is that not only were you blatantly spying on the people of Gravity Falls, but it also looks like you used a giant robot to chase down two defenseless, innocent children, nearly killing them both in the process, and then you proceeded to try and pin the blame on us for it. So, hm… I believe this certainly is exactly what it looks like. Wouldn’t you officers agree?”
Both Blubbs and Durland nodded in saddened agreement, but still, they looked to Tyler Cutebiker for the final word on the matter. “Tyler?”
Tyler sucked in a sob as he provided his famous catch phrase hesitantly and remorsefully. “Get ‘im…” he sighed, wiping away tears. “Get ‘im…”
“Lil’ Gideon, you’re under arrest for conspiracy, fraud, use of a giant, deadly robot, and breaking our hearts,” Blubbs said, his tone firm, yet morose. “Durland, the tiny handcuffs.”
The deputy held up the petite handcuffs before locking them around locking them around Gideon’s wrists and leading him away to the squad car. “Wha—no!” the child psychic cried in struggling protest. “Let go of me!”
Stan smirked broadly as he held the door to the cop car open for Gideon, though he did stop the child psychic short to shake him dry first. Various objects fell out of Gideon’s pockets, including a hatchet, a picture of Mabel, journal 2, and most importantly, the deed to the Mystery Shack, which was what the conman was more than happy to reclaim. “I believe this belongs to me,” Stan said with a proud grin, posing with the deed for the attending journalists’ cameras.
“No! No!” Gideon protested hotly, especially as he was shoved into the back of the cop car. “Watch the hair! You can’t do this to me! Y’all are sheep! You need me!” The child psychic continued to throw out his enraged threats, even as the cops began to drive him away to prison. “You’ll hear from my lawyers! I’ll be back! I swear it!”
“So what are the chances we’ll actually hear from again him anytime soon?” Amethyst asked Garnet with a sly smirk.
“Not likely,” Garnet replied, adjusting her shades with a confident grin.
“There you have it,” Shandra Jimenez reported as she stood before the Pines and the Gems, who had all gathered together to celebrate their shared triumph. Stan hoisted Mabel up onto his shoulders while leaning an arm on Dipper playfully, while Garnet perched Steven on her shoulders and Amethyst did the same for Connie. Even Lion fitted himself into the frame somehow, making things a bit crowded, though at such a joyous moment as this, no one really minded. “Local hero Stanford Pines has just exposed Lil’ Gideon as a fraud after the Crystal Gems took down his giant robot of doom. Is there anything any of you would like to say?”
“Well, firstly I think it’s important to note that we-” Pearl began, though Stan was quick to interrupt her, but she decided let it slide. This time.
“The Mystery Shack is back, baby!” Stan proclaimed proudly, more than ready to pick things up right where they had left off.
And, that’s exactly what they all did.
The Pines family wasted no time in settling back into the shack, getting rid of everything Gideon had left behind first and foremost. All remnants of what would have been “Gideonland” were tossed out or destroyed courtesy of the Gems, who were quite thankful the temple house’s only occupant was Steven once more. And while the young Gem did already miss having the Pines as his roommates, him and Connie were more than happy to help them restore the Mystery Shack back to its former “glory”. The Gems even freely lent their aid in restoring the shack’s iconic sign, though even they could do nothing to keep the s in shack from falling off as it always did. Seeing as how Stan was now hailed as a town hero, business at the shack was booming, with people coming from far and wide to get autographs from the conman and eagerly take the museum tour. Soos and Wendy were both glad to return to their usual posts, especially the cashier, seeing as how it meant she could stay in town instead of being shipped off to her cousin’s logging camp. Likewise, the twins were overwhelmingly relieved to know that the remainder of their summer in Gravity Falls was safe and secure. There had been moments of doubt, moments where it had seemed like the future was uncertain and things wouldn’t turn out alright, but in the end, they had come out on top once again.
And now, things were even better than before.
In the rush of eventfulness following their victory, the twins had barely had any time to move themselves back into the attic. Steven and Connie had readily volunteered to help them unpack, eager to spend more time with the friends they had nearly lost, in more ways than one. Almost as soon as they had left the robot’s wreckage, Steven had made good on his promise to heal Dipper’s various injuries, much to the Gems’ pride and Stan’s confusion over how his nephew had sustained so many wounds in the first place. Of course, while the Gems provided the conman with a condensed version of what happened, he didn’t really believe it, finding the part concerning Alexandrite to be pretty far-fetched. Regardless, what had been a tumultuous day had ended happy and successful, and had led to the past few, still-ongoing happy days they had all gotten to experience. And hopefully, they would be just the first of many more.
The kids were in the midst of redecorating the attic, with Steven and Mabel gleefully putting up posters according at random while Dipper and Connie worked on organizing books exactly right. Their various conversations were interrupted however, as Stan knocked on the door, all three of the Gems gathered not too far behind him.
“Uh, you kiddos settling back in okay?” Stan asked the twins with a small, amicable grin.
“Yep!” Mabel quipped brightly. “All of my favorite moldy spots on the ceiling are still there! Even you, Daryl,” she smirked at a particular spot of mold on an upper support beam.
“W-we just came by to tell you kids how proud we are of all of you…” Pearl said with a warm smile. “You all were very brave in a situation that, to be perfectly honest, even had the three of us a little frightened at times…”
“Yeah, you dudes totally kicked butt!” Amethyst remarked, smirking. “Guess they call you four the Mystery Kids for a reason, huh?”
“Yeah, they do!” Steven exclaimed proudly. “Still, it seems… a little crazy how different everything seems now. Not bad different, but really good different, you know?”
“Oh, we know,” Garnet nodded with a solid smile that both Pearl and Amethyst shared and exchanged with Stan, who begrudgingly returned it. Indeed, seeing as how the conman had essentially saved them from certain arrest, the Gems had been sure to give credit where credit was due and thank the conman. And since then, even the kids noticed the marked improvement in how Stan and the Gems related to each other. While the conman and the purple Gem had always gotten along, Stan had started getting along better with Pearl and Garnet, through simple, mutual jokes, genuine compliments, and even signs of gratitude for what each party had done. Of course, things were completely peaceful between them; Stan and Pearl still had their fair share of disagreements that they were more than happy to bitingly argue about, but still. It was a change. And as far as the kids were concerned, a great one at that.
“Um, speaking of mysteries…” Dipper spoke up, his tone somewhat hesitant as Stan took a seat on the bed next to him. “Well… Me and Mabel have been talking and… I think there’s something we should finally tell you.” He paused, taking in a deep breath as he reached into his vest for the journal, hoping that Stan’s initial reaction to it would be much better than the Gems’ had. “This is a journal I found in the woods,” he began, handing the journal to the conman so he could pursue it for himself. “It talks about all of the crazy stuff that lives in Gravity Falls, including the Gems. Gideon nearly destroyed the whole town trying to find it. I don’t know what this means, or who wrote it. But after all we’ve been through, maybe it’s time you knew about it.”
Stan was silent for quite a while as he leafed through the journal, not really showing much of a reaction at all to its contents. When he finally did say something though, it was in the form of a question posed to the Gems. “So you three knew about this thing already, huh?”
“Well, we didn’t at first…” Pearl admitted with a frown. “In fact, when we did discover it, it came as… quite of a shock to us, seeing as there’s quite a bit in there about the three of us.”
“Yeah… we might have overreacted over it and tried to burn it,” Amethyst shrugged. “You know, like you do.”
The conman raised an eyebrow upon hearing this, but even still, his expression betrayed little emotion as he instead closed the book, taking in a deep breath before turning to his nephew. “I’m glad you showed me this, Dipper,” he said, his tone solemn. However, his manner only remained like that for a moment before he broke into a loud, obnoxious burst of laughter. “Now I know where you’ve been getting it all from! Spookums and monsters—this spooky book has been filling your head with crazy conspiracies!”
“Wha—but it’s all real!” Dipper protested, unable to believe that Stan would simply just laugh it all off like this.
“Dipper’s right, Mr. Pines,” Steven vouched. “We’ve seen a lot of the stuff in there this summer! Plus, everything in it about the Gems is true too! Right guys?”
The Gems all nodded in response to this, but even so, the conman continued chuckling over the journal. “Oh, yeah sure it is,” he remarked with a sarcastic smirk. “You kids gotta quit reading this fantasy nonsense for your own good. Although some of these would make great attractions!” He nodded to the page he was on, which featured the butternut squash with human face and emotions. “Can’t come up with this stuff! Mind if I borrow this for a while?”
“Wait, no!” Dipper exclaimed in sudden panic as Stan got up and started to leave, taking the journal with him. “Grunkle Stan!”
“’Magic’ book,” Stan scoffed with another laugh, leaving the attic. “Ridiculous!”
“Stan, I need it!” Dipper cried, more than ready to chase his uncle down after the book before Mabel stopped him.
“Dipper, you don’t need that book!” she exclaimed with a smile. “Don’t you see? On your own, you defeated a giant robot with nothing but your bare hands! You’re a hero whether you’ve got that journal or not!”
“Mabel’s right,” Garnet added, her hands on her hips as she gave Dipper an affirming grin. “The courage and determination you showed in facing off against Gideon the other day was something that you couldn’t have found in the pages of that journal. That was entirely your own, Dipper. And that is something to be proud of.”
“Yeah!” Steven and Connie exclaimed in supporting unison.
“Definitely,” Pearl nodded with a warm smile.
“Totally, dude!” Amethyst remarked, chuckling.
Dipper couldn’t help but smile himself upon hearing all this encouragement, knowing that he hadn’t really thought of any of it like that. Indeed, he certainly had squared off against Gideon and against more than impossible odds, all without the journal in his hand. And yet, through it all, he had somehow not only managed to survive, as narrowly as he had, but had won the day at the end of it all, relying only on himself and little else. When it came right down to it, Gideon had been completely wrong. Dipper realized that he had so much more than nothing. He had drive, determination, zeal, and bravery, all of things that, when put together, were exactly as Garnet had said: something to be proud of.
“Whoa…” he muttered, somewhat bashful of the warm words everyone was offering him. “Thanks, guys… But, I still want the journal back though.”
“I’m sure you’ll get it back,” Mabel reassured with a wave of her hand. “What would a boring old man like Stan want with that book anyway?”
“Knowing Stan, he’ll probably end up using it as a door stopper,” Pearl remarked with a sardonic smirk.
“Or paperweight,” Garnet said, crossing her arms.
“Or he’ll try using it as a weapon during our next Revenge Trip,” Amethyst laughed. “Yo, speaking of trips… We were gonna go check out this cool old Gem tower later. You guys wanna come with?”
“Do we!” Steven exclaimed with a huge grin.
“Yeah we do!” Mabel proclaimed excitedly.
“Well then, come along,” Pearl laughed, amused by their shared zeal as she led the way out. “That tower’s not going to explore itself!”
The kids were all quick to follow the Gems out, all of them pumped for whatever magical adventure they were about to embark on. Certainly, this would be another one of many magical, mysterious journeys they had been on and had yet to go on.
After all, they had plenty of summer left for more.
The kids’ mission with the Gems lasted well into the evening, which was something Stan was grateful for; after all, the last thing he needed now after everything that happened was for either of them to find out. He’d tell them about it, of course, one day, but it still wasn’t time yet. For now, he had to get to work.
The conman was inconspicuous as ever as he strode through the gift shop, pausing at the vending machine with a lantern in hand. After making sure no prying eyes were looking, he entered in the code he had committed to memory by now, standing back as they machine swung open to reveal a hidden doorway. Stan steeled his resolve, just as he always did when he descended the stairs into the vast, cavernous basement below, inputting yet another code on the elevator at the foot of the stairs. This had all become routine, perhaps even normal for the conman after nearly 30 years of taking the elevator down to the bottommost floor, where a complex, hidden laboratory awaited.
The lantern the conman was toting cast dim, crisp shadows across the various dials, buttons, and sensors lining either side of the lab as he passed by them. But Stan hardly paid any of the advanced machinery any mind. Instead, he went right for his usual spot at the desk towards the front of the room, where even more practically indecipherable buttons were positioned. Upon sitting down, the conman stoically opened the desk’s panel and pulled out the book that had served as his only guide for 30 years now: journal 1.
“After all these years…” Stan remarked, scarcely unable to believe it himself as he placed the first journal down before taking the other two out. In all honesty, he should have figured that Gideon had somehow gotten his hands on the second one, but to think that the third journal, the one that Rose Quartz herself had vowed to never let him find, had been discovered by his own nephew? It was something Stan was still reeling from. Nonetheless, he placed all three journals down on the table together, side by side, a complete set at long last. “Finally, I have them all…”
Knowing that there was still work to be done, the conman opened each journal to the proper page, each one revealing but a piece of a much larger, very complex blueprint. Upon propping them up together in the right order, they all revealed an algorithm lined with codes and equations, things that Stan had painstakingly worked to teach himself for years for this very purpose. Still using the journals as a guide, the conman punched in every button and switch exactly as they directed, a burst of sudden light flashing from the larger room right behind the glass once he was done.
“It’s working!” Stan exclaimed, amazed as he jumped to his feet. Without wasting a beat, he ran into the larger room, approaching the massive triangular structure in the middle of it with hurried footsteps. With as much force as he could muster, the conman pulled on the lever that stood before it, watching with anticipation and growing excitement as the triangular machine pulsed alive with electricity for the first time in over 30 years. The room was flooded with light as the machine turned on fully, a radiant white light emanating from its center, putting off an impressive amount of energy and force. Still, Stan stood before it proudly, his hands on his hips as he grinned broadly, basking in its bright, powerful, momentous glow. Because after all these years, everything he had ever worked for was finally about to pay off.
“Here we go.”
Next:
#jen writes#universe falls#steven universe#gravity falls#crossover#au#fanfic#gideon rises#arc 3#dipper#mabel#stan#steven#garnet#amethyst#pearl#connie#gideon#alexandrite#soos#and like#a fuck ton of other characters tbh#but whatever#a1z26#fuckin arc is finally done holy shit
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