#his crimes were his own but his actions were the fault of his society

[esoteric-oracle]

//long rambles ahead!

I think what really lingers with me about MDZS is that it's not a novel with a cathartic ending at all. It's a bittersweet story that leaves you slightly hollow. Yes, it's a beautiful and epic romance. It's a piece of social commentary interwoven with a love story and murder mystery. It's a cautionary tale. But it is also very much a tragedy. It's a story about being too late, second chances, and moving on.

By the time the truth of everything JGY and JGS did comes to light, it's 13 years too late. Everything that mattered has already happened. Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan are long dead. Jin Ling is still an orphan. Wen Ning is dead, and sometime in the future, his death will be permanent. Wen Qing was burned to death at the stake for no fault of her own. Nie Mingjue has already spent ten years in a no-doubt agonizing state of un-death, and Lan Xichen will have to bear the guilt of loving both Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, and by doing so, forsaking them both. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng's once-close bond is irrevocably broken, and the woman who sowed the seeds of resentment when they were still children will never face the consequences of her vitriol.

People sometimes say MXTX was too hard on the side characters, and only gave the Wangxian a happy ending, but what stuck with me after finishing the story is how… sad things are. Yes, Wangxian finally get the happy ending they've deserved for nearly 20 years - but at the same time, it's not a happy ending where the people who've wronged them get the consequences they deserve.

Wei Wuxian will spend the rest of his life haunted by guilt and loss, over what happened to Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan, over the loss of the Wen remnants. The rest of his years won't even be lived in the body his parents gave him.

Lan Wangji will spend the rest of his years wondering if he'd chosen to stand with Wei Wuxian when it mattered - would his son have had to grow up without his birth family?

Nie Huaisang is left wondering if his brother had been a little less trusting and had never taken Meng Yao in as a Nie deputy, would his brother have died a less wretched death? Would he have been forced to stoop to ruthless machinations and manipulations to seek some semblance of justice?

Wen Ning will have to live with the knowledge that if he'd been a little less kind, if he'd let Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng die that fateful day - his family would still be alive. The Wens would've won the war; Wen Qing might've even succeeded Wen Ruohan.

No one really gets the ending they deserve. MDZS isn't a story where good people get happy endings, and bad people get their dues. Sure, Jin Guangyao's crimes are revealed and he faces the consequences of his actions. But what about the people who stood by and made him into a monster? If anything, the side characters and antagonists who survive get better than they deserve. The real villain of MDZS - society - will never face retribution. Those cultivators who always believed in their own bigotry and righteousness over and over again, will never face justice.

Do you think those cultivators and the public will ever feel any regret for the innocent people they condemned to death in their own prejudice and blind self-righteousness? Do you think the people who gathered at Nightless City to call for Wei Wuxian's death considered for one second that he was the biggest reason they won the war? When the cultivators who sacked the Wen settlement at the Burial Mounds threw the bodies of the Wens into the blood pool, do you think that was a sign of shame?

Do you think Jiang Cheng will ever regret leading a siege on a small settlement of innocent farmers? Do you think he's haunted by condemning to death the same people whom he owes his life to?

Do you think those people like Yao-zongzhu will ever feel an ounce of remorse for so easily believing rumours and hearsay, and spreading speculation and vitriol about innocent people?

Do you think that unnamed cultivator out there will ever lose a single minute of sleep over smashing in Wen Popo's head?

In the years that follow, Wen Ning will have apologized a hundred times for lives he did not take, crimes he did not commit, because of the name he bears. People, both in-universe, and even readers, will condemn him for actions he could not help, for doing the right thing. But did Jiang Cheng ever apologize for killing his family? Did the Jins ever apologize for their horrific treatment of people in the labour camps?

People will continue to demand that Wei Wuxian apologize for causing the deaths of their friends and family. But how is Wei Wuxian meant to do that? No one ever apologized to him for taking his family away. No one ever apologized for condemning the Wen Remnants to death for crimes they took no part in. The Wens were his family too.

There's so much potential for bitterness and corruption in MDZS. Instead of saving everyone, Wei Wuxian could've stood aside and let the people who tried to kill him die. MDZS could've been a story of succumbing to hatred and grief, but it wasn't. MXTX could've gone on and on about how society wronged the protagonist, but she didn't. The narrative is one of forgiveness and moving beyond past grievances. The story chose to close the story on a positive note. I truly love that aspect of MDZS, where MXTX leaves just enough room for hope and love at the end.

A-Yuan will finally get his closure about the family he lost as a toddler. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian get their happy ending together after being separated by nearly two decades by war, miscommunication, cruelty, and death.

Wei Wuxian will never regret protecting survivors of an attempted genocide, because it was the right thing to do.

And Wen Ning will still stand in the way and take a fatal blow meant for Jin Ling, despite everything the Jins and Jiang Cheng did to the people he loved.

Because they chose love. Characters like Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning and Lan Wangji have the chance to move on and live a happier life because when they could've succumbed to hurt and fury and resentment, they chose to be kind and do the right thing. Wangxian get their happy ending because they learn to recognize the toxicity of the cultivation society's self-cannibalizing prejudice, and chose to pursue righteousness above personal benefit.

MDZS isn't a story about good people getting good things. Just look at what happened to Xiao Xingchen. There's really nothing satisfying or cathartic about everyone's fates at all. There's no promise about society facing the consequences of their mob mentality or Wangxian actually changing the world together. Even in TGCF, for all its makings of a love story, we get the promise of societal change once Jun Wu is deposed.

It has all the makings to be a tragedy or tale of vengeance of epic proportions - but instead, it's a love story. It's a story about making the best of what you've got, and staying true to yourself and your morals, even if that's sometimes a bitter pill to swallow. It's a story where everything that could go wrong went wrong, but the characters still managed to fight their way to a better ending by choosing kindness. At its core, MDZS is a testament to choosing compassion over cruelty no matter how tragic and hopeless life gets, no matter how long the journey gets. Even though the happy ending is more personal and only applies to the specific characters, even though we don't actually get the promise of their society becoming a better place - we still have the hope that Wei Wuxian's second chance brings. The hope that sometimes, no matter how cruel the world is, some people who deserve it still get their happy endings. That's what makes MDZS such a memorable work of art. That's why it stays with you.

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Andrew and plausible deniability, OR: mfer doesn't wanna be held accountable for his actions

This has been churning in my head for a while (I am mentally ill 🥴), but a large part of the driving force behind Andy and his actions is his aversion to blame. He sorta shares this w/Ashley (she's got quite a few rants abt how things aren't her fault), but I believe Andrew takes it just a step further.

I've seen many say this before, but from the start of the game, you'll notice that even beyond normal moral quandaries, Andrew's first objection to any horrific action Ashley proposes is usually a variance of "what if we get caught?". He objects not bc her ideas are ethically repugnant, but bc they could be found out as having done them, and he knows rationally that others know they're bad. This goes as far back as childhood with the Nina incident. He fears punishment and the threat of prison more than he apparently worries about what his crimes might mean for him as a person or what they might mean for the people that might be affected by them (save him and Ashley). This doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilt or have nightmares abt them, but they're not his first priority. Trouble's a pain to deal with, and the dude's low-energy.

In fact, most of his guilt seems largely self-centered. Like, no exaggeration: if it isn't about either him or Ashley (which is, in a way, lowkey also about him), then he couldn't really care less. Do you recall him ever expressing worry or remorse on Nina's behalf? Mourning her? We think Ashley's the one w/empathy issues, but Andrew's in the same boat imo. Self-preservation and self-interest is all that's keeping him seemingly amiable enough for polite society, bc for the most part, he really couldn't be bothered.

In his dreams, the victims of their murders are just bodies: interchangeable, holding no more meaning beyond the fact that they're dead. Any corpse's limb will do to replace the one Ashley cooked—never mind that they may be from different people—bc they're all the same to him. Even Julia, sitting in her dorm room surrounded by evidence of Ashley's harassment, gets no sympathy from Andrew. For the most part, he elects to ignore it all, and regards Julia herself with a detached sorta nostalgia tinged in no small part with apathy.

img txt: You'll never see her again. And the fact that it doesn't really bother you, bothers you.

(The only things of notable worth from her were the colored pencils on her desk, which he promptly takes from her to give to Leyley instead, and isn't that just some crazy symbolism right there?)

His fear of punishment goes hand-in-hand with his desperate pursuit of plausible deniability. Everything he does, he does under certain self-imposed conditions. If it's Ashley's idea and he argues back, it doesn't matter in the end if he goes along with it, bc it was Ashley's idea in the first place. He's just there to make sure she doesn't get them in trouble, bc she needs him, bc he's gotta take care of her. Even if it's not her idea at all (e.g., killing the closet warden, killing the lady in room 302), it's still her fault, bc he did it for her, bc everything he does, he does for her.

Ashley's a manipulative, evil lil possessive gremlin w/a soul as black as tar, and Andy's a doormat, but don't think for a second that part of him doesn't use that dynamic a little to keep from reflecting on what he is. He suffocates under it, but he also relies on it. If there's any sort of plausible deniability available, he'll take it and run with it.

The truth of the matter is that they're both deeply toxic, warped individuals. The difference is that Ashley's owned up to it and quite frankly doesn't care. Andrew hasn't. He's the "normal" one.

Now, for the funky incest part (what we're all here for babyyyyy)—

We've all seen the flavor text abt the bed-sharing by now, right?

img txt: Oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.

We know for a fact that aside from some light teasing, maybe, Ashley would have no problem whatsoever with sharing a bed w/Andrew. Heck, she'll coax him into bed (demo) or climb onto the couch with him (ep 2) w/o any prompting from him whatsoever, just bc she feels like it. Andrew, apparently, can't do the same. He doesn't allow himself this intimacy of his own choosing, so he has to lie and pretend to get it if he wants it. He's greedy for her, too, but he can't let himself show it.

If something is sufficiently too intimate in his eyes, beyond anything he can excuse away for some reason or another, then he'll stop himself from doing it. Just like how he wouldn't let himself succumb to the urge of pulling Ashley into his arms to make her smile, but is willing to give her a hug when she asks for it in front of their parents.

He insists on the extra expense of two beds, and then cites his nightmares and panic attacks as the driving force behind crawling into bed w/her, bc then it isn't really his fault now, is it? He tried to stay away, after all. He did! He just didn't have a choice!

Lol

Andrew can't admit to wanting this—buries those feelings and thoughts as deep as he can so they fester and bleed, the repressed idiot—so he gives Ashley all the power to decide how close they get. It's in Ashley's hands. He's free of that hassle.

Which is why the post-sex vision, and Ashley's reaction to it, is so dangerous. @csg-iii made a good point about it in my last post:

img txt: I think the biggest point about "11" is that Andrew asks/begs Ashley for reassurance that it will never happen ("never say never"). It's a subtle admission that if she really wants it to happen, he knows he won't be able to resist his own urges. His only ""hope"" of avoiding going there is if Ashley doesn't want it.

Andrew, in absolving himself of this choice and putting it in Ashley's hands, shoots himself in the foot, bc what if Ashley goes the whole mile? Then the only real thing keeping his desires unrealized was the fact that they had never been voiced as an option before.

He doesn't want to think of himself as someone who'd bone his own sister. Forget being a cannibal, demon summoner, or a murderer; those titles were foisted upon him. This is too close to something real that he carries inside him; this isn't anything Ashley's buried in him, but rather something of his own invention. Something he'll definitely have to take responsibility for.

[pythoria]

astarion is such a great character but one reason that stands out to me is how he turns the vampire stereotype on its head. vampires from their inception have been metaphors for sexuality, back in ye olden times when religious and cultural dogma repressed people's desires and forbade acting on them. they've always represented latent sexuality and people's increasing desperation. they were a fantasy that allowed people to imagine not being bound by societal rules, but by their internal hunger, giving into it and how that might feel, but more than that, how it might feel to be a victim of that. women, especially, were not allowed to express any desires, so the vampire taking whatever they wanted, as well as being desired for something as intrinsic to your being as your blood - that's a powerful fantasy. at its core, vampirism is about loss of control, and people who hold onto control very tightly in their lives will find themselves drawn to vampires as a form of catharsis.

but that's where astarion comes in and flips it around. he's far from the first character to explore the negative sides of vampirism, but as a long-term fan of many fictional vampires, i think he does it best. primarily because his story delves into the sexual aspect and the loss of control much more, while maintaining a lot of realism. his vampirism is very grounded in reality; he has real human feelings about it. the idea that people would find the powerful vampire overpowering them alluring is contrasted by the very obvious (to us, a modern audience) issues with consent involved. if the vampire cannot control their hunger, if they have no control over the desires they act on, that might sound appealing to someone who has never been allowed to act on *any* desire, but the reality of it is horrifying. it's being a victim of assault at your own hands. it's people using you and you being unable to express any discomfort, because what *you* want is always backseating what the vampirism demands. the liberating feeling of being able to act on your desires turns into the claustrophobia of being unable to deny them at all.

vampirism always came with downsides, of course. not being able to walk in the sun (being exiled from the world and polite society), not being able to see your reflection (a loss of self), dying and being reborn, but not coming back quite the same, never being able to return to the person you once were (giving up life itself, but not arriving in a religious heaven, rather staying on earth past your time, defying god, giving up the chance at eternal bliss for the inherently sinful continuation of the flesh), eternal life (losing everyone you love, seeing everything end) akin to eternal damnation in hell. all of these downsides, and yet, with astarion, even the good bits are tainted, or turned into something negative.

on top of that, the choice to damn himself for any supposed benefits of vampirism wasn't even given to him. he was turned against his will, kept against his will, had his freedom - the only thing worth anything to a vampire - taken away. he didn't escape from a life that boxed him in, he was ripped away from a life he dearly misses. but then again, considering his actions as a magistrate, it's also a sort of divine punishment by proxy, one that is entirely disproportionate to his crimes, in a way only something as extreme as vampirism can be.

obviously the proxy for all this is cazador, but he is merely a personification of the dark force vampires are slaves to. cazador exists because it's much easier for an audience to understand how little control a vampire has over his actions when they can point to someone and say "you're at fault, astarion is innocent, you forced him to do all of those awful things". but the truth is, cazador doesn't have to exist. cazador's compulsion could be replaced by an amorphous urge, coming from inside astarion, outside of his control, and his character would make just as much sense, except it would be harder for everyone (including astarion himself) to separate the actions from the person. imagine a dark urge character who wanted to be good, but the urge wasn't something they could resist. imagine an evil dark urge run, killing everyone, but entirely against your will. would you defend that character? would you be able to redeem them if one day the urge ceased? would you even be willing to wait, to give them time to break free? or would you just kill them, as a mercy on the world? there's no surprise that most people would stake astarion on sight. maybe he can be redeemed eventually, but what about the time inbetween?

yes, this all comes from dnd vampire lore, so it applies across the board, not just for astarion. vampire spawn exist as a different entity from a fully-fledged vampire because it allows the spawn to keep a part of their humanity, their soul, and have their morality exist separately from the call of the blood. all of this makes astarion fascinating, and also somewhat easier to analyse.

[bibibbon]

smth i hate abt hori is how easy it would’ve been to use the lov to show how hero society lets people slip through the cracks as a result creates villains, but he never fully expands on the idea.

jin’s parents died when he was in *middle school* MIDDLE SCHOOL! which means he could’ve been anywhere between 12-14. and then because of a motorcycle accident that *wasn’t his fault* he got a criminal record, was fired from his job, and became homeless. and then he just spiraled from there.

toga is biologically wired be to fascinated and obsessed with blood. but instead of helping her, her parents are disgusted by her and force her to suppress herself until she inevitably snaps.

dabi is a product of his fathers abuse and it was allowed to go on for decades because his father is a famous pro hero

compress is just an unapologetic evil bastard tho and i love him for that

This is also one of my problems with horis writing!!! Villains in MHA all had wasted potential and I absolutely hated the way their arcs went!

I guess the only arc that I can semi agree on is toga himiko's arc to a certain extent but that even has wasted potential that I talk about down below 👇. I discuss what togas arc could of been and different directions her character could of went.

In my opinion himiko was already introduced as somewhat irredeemable. The first time we see her we are told that she killed 6 people known so far and on around 5 of them she performed blood letting. Also her first victim she literally sliced him up and started drinking his blood (some including I theorise that she maybe even ate some of his body parts). I think it adds to the story simply because togas love or idea of love is based on her becoming that person and having parts of them on her whether that be literal or metaphorical.

I personally like the idea that toga is an irredeemable victim. Toga is someone who was failed by the system and had went through a lot for sure but the actions she did were also things that she should be accounted for ( I talk more about toga and what makes her different from lady nagant in another post). In the end I personally enjoy seeing toga be a humanised not redeemed victim of society that has also commited many crimes.

When it comes to other members of the league I feel like they could of all had better arcs in general.

I remember talking to @doodlegirl1998 and she suggested that twice and togas characters could of very much switched roles as twice is a character who parallels more with ochako (both struggling financially) and hawks would get more repercussions for killing a child (toga). However, I also do like twices death but I do have some problems like how I wish his death would of been thoroughly explored and we see how it impacted everyone or we should of gotten more from twice himself in general.

Dabi deserved better and I really would of wanted him to have a redemption arc, receive some concequences but end up with the todoroki family WITH ENJI DEAD (I HATE HIM!). I hated the whole Dabi always had an ice quirk and that he was just the second choice, always the second choice all along.

Shigaraki and just how much AFO was involved ruined everything for me also Shigaraki knowing about AFO was a horrible twist which made shigarakis characterisation even more inconsistent. I would of liked to see a Shigaraki redemption where he himself works towards one by starting to question AFO and get into the leader role a whole lot more while using the MVA to his advantage to get information, resources and more.

Spinner could of ended up being the better stain and learned form stains mistakes while also changing with shigaraki. I also feel like he needed more build up with his own counterpart like shoji and a thorough explanation and development of the whole hetamorphis discrimination thing.

Compress was evil for fun and it's fun to have those types of characters. One thing that I really would of liked to explore is compress's and magne's interactions. I feel like their arcs could of been interwoven (maybe I ship them a little who knows 🤷‍♀️) magne's death should of had more substance to it and all it just felt lacking and compress's disappearance the same.

Now when it comes to minor villains Iam a huge advocate for MUSTARD!! AND GIVING US A MUSTARD REDEMPTION 👇👇👇

I also think that muscular and moonfish should of obviously went to prison but that this could of been used as a way to shake the leagues trust for shigaraki. If any of the league members were to end up in jail would shigaraki help them? Maybe he won't as he didn't do that to muscular or moonfish or maybe he has stated to care for them more and he would as he is growing into that leadership role.

I would have it so that the Dr garaki is just an evil menace who starts to become much more greedy and manic causing AFO's death and going insane.

Kurogiri or kurooboro in this case would go through a different type arc that's down below.

In the end all of the villain characters or characters that don't up hold the status quo are victims of society. I think your ask could also apply to the hero characters that are also harmed by the system like hawks and izuku.

[ben-talks-art]

We need to make "explain but doesn't excuse you" a more popular sentence

I was thinking back to my list of favorite characters, and how I have people like Rameses in it and thought to myself "Why do I like this guy again...?" and then I started to recall why I was so into his story, and honestly ended up liking him even more.

Something that I noticed about the way writers try to handle backstories nowadays, is that they love to use a sad past to make people be on a character's side and then proceed to absolve them of their crimes.

Like, we love redemption arcs, we love character development, we love bad guys turning good... But I feel like we might love it a bit too much, as if we were waiting to forgive a character for all they did before even getting to them realizing the mistakes they made.

People love picking a villain they're into and going "Oh, it's not their fault, it's because they were raised that way, it's because they were abused as kids, it's because they lost someone they loved, it's because society treated them like trash, it's because they never had friends, it's because their girlfriend dumped them on Christmas eve..." and so on.

There is an obsession with "My character did nothing wrong because their past justify their actions!"

And here's something people tend to forget. A past explains one's actions but doesn't justify it.

Being abused by society, being trained by terrible morals, being oppressed and attacked... they all explain why someone would think it's okay to hurt others, but doesn't actually justify them hurting others.

Just because we know why someone's doing all the things they do, doesn't make the stuff they do any less bad.

This is why I love Rameses. They show the human side of him, they show he wasn't just born evil, they show that he could have been a decent person if he just had the right people to raise him.

They could have so easily made him just a cartoon villain who happened to be born evil and take joy in making others suffer under his command, but no, they show how he became this way, how he went from just a regular kid to a tyrant unable to feel sorry for others' pain and suffering, who was so brainwashed by the traditions of his family that he couldn't even process the harm he was bringing to others and why he couldn't even see the slaves as actual people in agony.

And, again, what I like about this story is that they explain how he became this way, but they don't paint him as blameless. The story acknowledges that he has blood in his hands, even if he himself doesn't, and it makes sure that he pays for what he did, even if what he did was the result of a long process of terrible lessons being passed down by generations that he didn't start.

At some point he became an adult, he became free from his father's command, free to make his own choices, and free to listen to the right people, free to look at what his actions were causing...

He had agency for his choices... And he still made the wrong decisions.

I feel like if others tried to tell this story today, they would either have made Rameses more evil from the start so you wouldn't feel bad for the tragedy that befalls him, or they would give him some sort of realization where he thinks about the harm he did and develops a change of heart in the last second.

I keep thinking about how there was a group of people going "Azula did nothing wrong!" when the new live-action Avatar show started and they basically tried to move all the blame from her to her "big bad evil father."

It makes me wonder if they released Prince of Egypt today, if there would be some sort of revisionism where people would try to argue that Moses is the villain for "not saving his brother" or something like that.

To the point I'm beyond curious about how things are going to end up in Arcane, since that series has a very similar story with two siblings that ended up splitting apart and reuniting but realizing that they were completely different in the paths they chose to follow, with one trying to fix the errors from the past and the other embracing them and trying to view them as part of who they are.

Is Arcane gonna go all the way and make Jinx an irredeemable monster that needs to be taken down, or are they gonna try to pull a "deep down, Powder is still there!" stuff?

I really hope they don't. I hope they give her an ending similar to Rameses where he's defeated but doesn't even get the luxury to die, just left alone and powerless while watching his most beloved family member moving on with his life while he's still stuck in the past and suffering the consequences of his actions and realizing that he achieved nothing.

And what I especially like about his ending is that even at this point he still doesn't realize why he's being punished so much, just showing at full power the danger of ignorance and refusing to see what's right in front of you.

It would be a terrible tragedy, but I think it would make for a great message.

[creganofhousestark]

(Screenshots because I’m one hundred percent sure i will be blocked for stating facts that go against the op’s headcanons if i were to reblog my opinions under their post and then will proceed to rant away about the eViL aRyA sTaNs whose crime is, well, reading the books, you know?)

So, i had the misfortune of coming across this one post by @agentrouka-blog when i was going through the main tags and, god! The amount of bs i have to wade through in the name of fandom experience is concerning at this point.

Whenever did Sansa cover for Arya? When she was declaring her as a traitor to a bloodthirsty Cersei Lannister that it was her sister with the traitor’s blood and not her after her father’s imprisonment? Or when she threw Arya under the bus at Trident?

“She blames Sansa for things she never did” dude there was never one moment where Arya blamed Sansa for things she never did. Hell, Arya didn’t blame Sansa enough. Guess it’s time to reread AGoT lol. Sansa “it’s your butcher boy’s fault for dying because he attacked the prince” is blameless y’all *mic drop*

“Violently attacks her because that’s her opportunity to blow off steam after a traumatic 4 days” yes because your sister is basically accusing of treason when the reason behind her actions was purely defense. Apparently you must be level headed in the face of your your sister refusing to be honest in a moment when the outcome (which is Mycah living or dying) depends on her word. If Sansa’s really as smart and intelligent as stansas claim then Joffrey’s actions at the Trident should’ve opened her eyes. Ned was the Hand of the King, the King’s BFF. She was under no pressure to maintain diplomacy. Hell, Ned was right by her side, reassuring her and encouraging her to speak her truth. What would’ve happened if she were honest? The betrothal would’ve been called off? Ned would’ve lost his spot at worst? Big loss, the North would have minded it’s own business as usual….and Sansa’s southern dreams would have shattered. In that moment Sansa chose her dreams and fantasies over her sister and remain blind to the kind of a monster Joffrey was.

Moreover, being focused and worried about herself and her desires is not necessarily a flaw, Sansa’s just more human. She’s got five heroes to compete against, which is why she may appear more flawed than Arya. But honestly it’s all subjective. Arya’s character is simply rich and has a hell lot more depth, that’s all.

Mostly Ned’s favouritism BRO NED CHOSE TO GIVE UP THE HONOUR HE VALUED hell he chose a traitor’s death for her and, goddammit there’s not one moment where he favoured one over the other. Do not talk about the damned flowers scene in Sansa I, Ned would’ve grinned and thanked Sansa for the same bleeding flowers. Sansa was just pissed that Ned didn’t reprimand his child for behaving like a typical 9 year old child. Which, nobility or no, is quite common in that society. Hell, we have textual evidence of Catelyn playing with LF and Lysa making mud pies at 12. It’s almost as if Sansa can’t stand anything short of Sansa 2.0 from her sister.

Arya’s miles better. Just ask GRRM. He wrote the books.

Anyways, thanks agentrouka for reminding me how brilliant of a writer George Martin is. The man picked stereotypical heroes and gave their stories not-so-stereotypical twists as their arcs progressed. An exiled powerless princess who earned it all and more through her blood sweat and tears, a non conformist noblewoman who’s gone through an extraordinary number of trials, a powerful noble dwarf unwanted by his own blood, a disabled boy with unparalleled magical potential and a bastard from two powerful, magical families who was practically thrown aside.

[fancyfeathers]

The Games We Play of Dust and Ash (Yandere Moriarty the Patriot Masterlist)

Thinking about Yandere Albert James Moriarty and his darling after the time skip…

He gets locked up for three years in the Tower of London for his crimes, but what about his darling? She committed no crime, so she is free…

That is a foreign word to her…

Free.

Her sister by now, Mycroft’s darling, has been married off to the rather strict man, her parents are dead due the actions of the Moriarty brothers, Louis’ darling is still stuck with him, William’s darling is god knows where, and everyone else she knew in her captive like marriage shares a similar fate to the others…

She is free and alone…

She meets with her parents’ old lawyer and in her parents’ death everything was either given to Albert since he was her husband or to Mycroft when her sister was married off to him. Since Albert is doing his time for his crimes, every last cent and property that was given to him in her parents’ death belong to her. Sure he did give quite a bit of it away to charity, orphanages and what not, but what was left of it was hers.

She is free, alone, and has more money than one person could spend in a lifetime…

She spends a few days in her family’s old home, the one she was raised in and her parents died in, contemplating what to do now, and then when she is out on a walk the answer hits her. She was walking past a pair of girls, just of the age of marriage and they were talking…

“Think of it, if we had the money, no one could tie us down, we could go see the world to our hearts’ content, actually live life instead of wasting it all for a man.”

That is what she would do…

She would live her life.

The next day she has packed her belongings in suitcases and sets out to see the world.

She travels everywhere…

Spending a summer in Paris where she met few old friends from her finishing school days.

Getting on a train to Monte Carlo for autumn.

Then down to Naples for the winter…

Vienna…

Madrid…

Oslo…

Copenhagen…

Berlin…

Moscow…

Saint Petersburg…

Athens…

Malta…

Bern…

And every place she goes to, a new letter or postcard would be delivered to the drawing room of the home of Mycroft and his darling, her sister. Of course she would also send ones to Louis’ darling as well, but not as commonly as she knows that Louis would probably not be happy on her choice to travel instead of waiting on Albert’s release and staying with them in London.

But at some point one has to settle and make a home for themselves…

So she goes back to where she first started…

London.

But she does not go back to stay with anyone she once knew, no she is finally making a name for herself and securing her own fortune and place in high society, and let’s just say her travels inspired her on how to do just that.

When Albert is finally free and he has a moment to relax, he is given an address from Mycroft to visit and soon he finds himself in the lobby of a high end hotel in London. Guests and staff rush past him, everyone having a place to be and things to do, but why was he told to come here if all places…

“My lady, was it the lilies or the lilacs that you wanted in the lounge on the first floor?”

“Lilacs along with forget me not. Also do not forget about the wisteria I wanted ordered for the gardens.”

“Ma’am, we have a reservation for a wedding party but we are short a room of the ones they requested.”

“Move the bride and groom to the honeymoon suite, do not charge them extra, it is our fault for overbooking. Also give them a formal written apology and free drinks at the first floor bar for the duration of their stay, the bride and groom that is.”

“Ma’am, the macarons for the gala next week, what were the numbers for the orders.”

“Twenty dozen, evenly split between the flavors ordered… actually wait, that will not be enough… make it forty baker’s dozen instead, that will give us 280 more, also do not forget about the cakes for that and the lavender based confections cannot be cross contaminated with the others, the Duchess of York has a horrible allergy to them.”

That voice…

He looks over to see a lady walking through the hotel lobby along side a few staff members...

It’s her…

His wife…

His darling.

“Now is my driver ready, I have dinner with my sister tonight and I do not want to be late, after all we only get to do this when he husband is out of the house- by the way speaking of Mycroft Holmes, I did not appreciate that police investigation of the third floor suite, the drug dealer was already long gone from here and they terrified the guests who had just came in there, I would like to see him held accountable and-“

She stops in her tracks and words as she sees Albert standing there and a look of pure terror comes across her face.

“Please excuse me, I feel unwell, I think I am going to lay down for the night.”

“But Mrs. Moriarty, you have dinner with-“

“Send her a telegram and tell her I am unwell.”

Before Albert could say anything she rushed up the grand staircase of the hotel, up to her own room.

A smile came across his face…

She kept his last name.

[hannigramislife]

why do you think jgy is so despicable compared to other characters?

Thanks for asking in such a polite way. I appreciate it!

Now, I just finished reading the second book yesterday, so I'm a little shook from what was happening. I know we can list Jin Guangyao's crimes in order – A-Su's death, Nie Mingjue's death, his own son's death, the cultivators he killed, Jin Zixuan, Jin Guangshian, and that's just the murders – but the cause of my negative feelings towards goes deeper than that.

My main issues with Jin Guangyao as I was reading started because of one thing and one thing only: man terrified me. Man is absolutely fucking terrifying, because he has no boundaries, no limits, no attachments, no love, no nothing. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his goals, for his ambitions. Which, in itself, is admirable, and he goes about it in a very smart way.

But reading the books had a chill running down my spine every time he justified his actions and worded things in such a way that seemed to absolve him of all guilt and make it seem like he was trying his best to do the good thing—

He was not. Everyone and everything was a pawn to him. He had a way with words that sucks you right in, that makes you feel empathetic towards him, that makes you feel for him, but it's not real.

It. Is. Not. Real.

So I could write an essay about how repulsive his murders are, or how nauseating his actions towards his wife and son are, or how sick his manipulation of Lan Xichen is, but if I had to pick a specific reason my admiration of his abilities turned to hatred, and I might even be a little biased, but it would most definitely be Nie Mingjue.

Nie Mingjue, who rose to defend him when he was nothing. Nie Mingjue, acknowledged his abilities and praised his character. Nie Mingjue, who let him go with a fucking letter of recommendation when he heard that Meng Yao still harbored a dream of being accepted by the Jin.

Nie Mingjue was not a perfect, flawless man. However, he saw through Jin Guangyao's schemes, and yet no one believed his doubts (looking at poor Lan Xichen). He was pushed to the brink of insanity, and it was so hard to read, because every time he would bring up JGY's actions, he had Jin Guangyao excuse them on one hand, then Lan Xichen defending him on another.

And Jin Guangyao pretended to help, to be the good guy, the patient loving friend, even as he was slowly killing Nie Mingjue. And he did. And if that weren't enough, he dismembered him, and scattered the pieces like they were nothing.

I don't know if people picked up on this while reading, seeing as he is defended by many, but Jin Guangyao was cruel. He was a cruel, unfeeling, narcissistic man, who can't be taken at his word, ever.

This might not be a very coherent post, and I could probably write a better introspection on hi character (with citations, istg), but I would just like to finish it by saying this: I am aware of this man's upbringing and difficulties in life. I am aware he was discriminated against for faults that were not his own. I am aware he was disadvantaged in a society were political ties are everything.

I am not blind to the writing of his character. I simply do not find it valid to defend a man so ruthless, just because his life was not fair.

Was it fair for Wei Wuxian to be blamed for things he never did? Was it fair for Jin Ling to grow up an orphan? Was it fair for Nie Mingjue to qi-deviate? Was it fair for Lan Xichen to go into seclusion because he couldn't mentally deal with what Jin Guangyao did?

Fairness is not an excuse.

[bonefall]

I was wondering how you are going to handle Heartstar's political roles as leader compared to canon (leaving aside ASC which is obviously unfinished). I always found it weird how canon Tigerstar II gets set up as this cat who's willing to bend the rules, who has a forbidden mate, incorporates the Guardians into his Clan and tries to make peace with SkyClan, but then he gets assigned the role of main opposer of SkyClan and later the sisters after becoming leader for no apparent reason besides ShadowClan being the Official Bad Guy Clan. So what will be Heartstar's political leanings in the rewrite (Thistle Law/Traditionalist/Fire Alone) and will she still play an antagonist role in those plot lines? Also, how will she prove herself as a good enough leader to rebuild ShadowClan, despite their disillusionment with the previous leadership? I haven't, again, read the second half of AVOS, but I know a common complaint was that it felt contrived how everyone instantly loved canon Tigerstar and rebuilt ShadowClan around him despite their deep disillusionment with Rowanstar, making it seem like it wasn't a "natural" arc of a society falling apart and more the authors trying to improbably and exaggeratedly show how bad Rowan is and how cool Tiger is without justification. So how will that be handled in the BB AU?

Heartstar won't be changing too much, honestly! I'm just going to be adding extra clarification for their actions at certain times. The biggest difference is probably just going to be their... general yassification LMAO

That plus BB!Dovewing is a lot less gentle than she is in canon and more likely to either disagree with her or violently back up her actions.

I'll be getting into Heartstar in her own character profile but first there's some stuff to comment on that'll probably clarify how I feel about Canon Tigerheartstar;

"Why does everyone instantly love Tigerstar in AVoS?"

It's been a looooong while since I read A Vision of Snoring but I do remember that ShadowClan really didn't like being part of SkyClan. They did not like how Leafstar was trying to make them swear fealty to a Clan they didn't feel part of, and they wanted their own autonomy back.

BB!Leafstar is going to be wildly different from canon, but I still want to keep that feeling. ShadowClan cats have their own culture and sense of identity, and SkyClan is a very different group from them. Rowanstar is still alive in the replacement of Tigerheart's Shadow, Heartstar's Rise, and intentionally insisting that they don't have a leader anymore and ergo don't have a Clan.

The territory all belongs to SkyClan now. Shadow doesn't LIKE that. They want to go back to the goo. Heartstar's return feels like a new dawn and several cats get swept up in her personality.

It should also help that I'm absolutely not planning for AVoS to be an arc that assigns Rowanstar as its scapegoat! He does get flak and his clan DOES fall apart under him, but I'm not planning to write the same bizarre waffle of "Oh it's my fault the apprentices loved crime because I didn't beat them hard enough or something. I've been too soft aaaawagga."

Onestar and his cowardice is the problem behind Darktail in this arc.

(for the record I kinda sort cats into loose categories of 'overhaul' in my head, and BB!Leafstar is like... on a scale of 1 to 5, she's a 4 in terms of overhaul. I don't like how nasty and unreasonable she is in-canon 75% of the time. To me, it makes her feel like just another Forest Four leader. Ironically Heartstar's like, a 2, maybe a 3 in early OotS.)

On Squirrelflight's Hope

I think a lot of folks who say Tigerheartstar attacked the Sisters "for no reason" haven't read the book in a while including myself.

Because I just went back and reread it and, actually, Tigerheartstar is the most reasonable fucker in the room besides Squirrelflight. Stuff that happened that no one remembers;

The Clans were on the brink of war, again, with shuffled territories each including a patch that no one could use, everyone wanting to return to the 'perfect' distribution (ignore my frustration with the garbage Canon Lake Map which is set up to have naturally perfect borders)

Tigerstar was admitting that his plan to shuffle did not work; we are shown that this is true. The Clans do not use the shuffled territory.

ShadowClan was attacked by the Sisters.

We don't know the "true" story as both sides have a different version, but we DO know that Tigerstar believes they were attacked.

Strikestone, Tigerstar's nephew, was permanently mauled by this. That's where his shredded ear comes from. Stonewing landed a "large gash" on Sunset's side before the "two toms" ran away, in their own territory. NOTE: Tigerstar ALWAYS becomes unreasonable after his family is hurt, this is a very consistent character trait

Harestar was the first to escalate between the Clans. ThunderClan bought time by allowing WindClan to hunt on the 'contested patch' but still marking the border, as if it was still theirs.

MISTYSTAR STARTED ATTACKING SHADOWCLAN

YES Tigerstar was pushing to go to war, but he wouldn't do it until he had significant backing. ShadowClan, still weakened by the Kin ordeal, was ATTACKED TWICE

Harestar and Mistystar are massively at fault here because they couldn't wait, but Tigerstar gets the majority of the blame for the sister debacle.

And, lastly, Leafstar okayed the raid on the sisters. I had totally forgotten this. She is the one to SAY that they should evict the sisters but adds, "We won't join you though." I don't like this character

Tigerstar was part of the problem, yes, but he really was not the most unreasonable cat in this equation.

So obviously a lot about this SE is gonna change in BB. But anyway-- I plan for Heartstar to actually be a little more unreasonable than Canon Tigerstar. In particular, Strikestone's mauling is going to make Heart act more rashly.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Could Edward ever lose his pedestal worship for Carlisle (without Carlisle acting OOC)?

Ooh, very tricky question that.

Let's dive in.

Difficult, Very Difficult

The trouble is that Edward doesn't simply admire Carlisle for who he is but is also haunted by feelings of guilt and shame over his own actions.

A few years after turning, Edward left Carlisle to devour humans, believing Carlisle had been depriving him of the one meaningful joy in a vampire's life and that if Edward chose his victims carefully then his feeding habits could even be a good thing for human society/better than what Carlisle does who doesn't seem to do anything about bad humans or man eating vampires.

Edward however not only comes to regret this and returns but is terrified of the meaninglessness of his life in such cases and how he himself was not simply a murderer but one who far exceeded any human's crimes.

As a result, what we see of Edward in canon, is a person who can't afford to not worship Carlisle/be favored by him because then he'll be back in the headspace he was in during the years on his own.

I don't think Edward ever truly recovered from leaving, in other words, and that means he desperately needs the Cullens and Carlisle especially to be his safe haven.

Carlisle is Who Edward Wants to Be

The thing is, in character Carlisle is the man Edward desperately wants to be. As a result, Edward's not going to look to critically at him and doubt himself before he'd doubt Carlisle.

There's Also a Lot of Excuses

The other issue is that Edward can easily make up excuses for why Carlisle's not behaving in a way that Edward would appreciate.

If Carlisle gathers only witnesses during the Volturi trial, rather than an army, it is because Carlisle is naive and believes too well of even people who are not his friends. Edward doesn't see this as a fault but instead an admirable trait.

In the case of not aborting Bella's child, Edward blames Esme. Carlisle chooses not to abort Bella because doing so would upset Esme. It's the only thing holding him back, Edward's certain of it.

The vote to turn Bella into a vampire, Edward truly is upset over, and we don't know his thoughts on it but my guess would be he sees it as Carlisle making a terrible sacrifice so that Edward can live and be happy. Edward doesn't agree but he's not upset with Carlisle over it (and he just has to convince Bella to say no).

If Carlisle were ever to truly do something Edward sees as a betrayal of the family post-New Moon/Breaking Dawn then Edward would blame the Volturi. Either they're threatening Carlisle somehow or else Carlisle's under Chelsea's thrall.

This last especially means that Edward has endless excuses as for why Carlisle isn't disappointing him but is instead either simply too naive, swayed by his love for Esme, or else controlled against his will by an outside party.

So, How Do We Do It?

The obvious one is when Edward left: Carlisle certainly wasn't on any kind of pedestal then. Edward, rather than choose to return, could have been too afraid and ashamed to and his desire to return could have instead become resentment over the certainty that Carlisle would humiliate him and throw him out if Edward tried to come crawling back.

Then, Carlisle would become a figure of contempt and loathing, and I imagine Edward would slowly change so that his every action is to spite the imaginary Carlisle who ruined his life.

Of course, Carlisle's still on a pedestal in a way here, it's just uh a pedestal of hatred I guess we'll call it.

If you mean in canon...

The Blue Moon route.

Should Edward bully Carlisle (with Esme's help) into giving Bella her human experience, Bella then gets pregnant, and Carlisle then refuses to abort the child then it's not him protecting the baby for Esme (as this is the child of an affair and an unholy demon) but it's him committing adultery in a way that Edward did not condone (fuck Bella sure, get her pregnant, no)

Edward would view Carlisle as an adulterer, cheating on Esme who is the greatest of women, condemning the love of Edward's life to death, and having committed the greatest betrayal of Edward.

It's so personal that Edward doesn't even consider the Volturi angle, this is just Carlisle stabbing him in the back and then laughing merrily.

"I DON'T KNOW YOU" - Edward Cullen

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 2: Say My Name

Season 1 Masterlist

Click for vibes

*I'd like to take a moment to thank the Danger Force writers for absolutely fucking the timeline I perfected in Henry Danger. I get that it's supposed to be funny, but our doofus wasn't alive in the 60s! This is just me rewriting every plot hole they stupidly made and offering some kind of explanation for them. Hopefully, it works???*

~The Man's Nest~

Well, this was awkward. 

Following the utter disaster at Swellview Prison, Captain Man and Miss Danger understandably were red-faced and humiliated. That night would go down as the worst mission in history, ending with an endless Frankini fashion show and many apologies to the cops when they reported an influx of crime. 

The city was appalled, and rightly so. The ones they'd employed and expected to keep them safe had freed the worst of society for their own sport, and now, they feared to go out after dusk - who knows who they'd meet in a dark, lonely alley? Every citizen wanted answers, demanding that their heroes be held accountable for their pathetic actions; after all, weren't they meant to fight crime, not free it?

So, that's why Ray and (y/n) grovelled, taking their seats at a desk in the Man's Nest, clad in full uniform and classic, apologetic pouts. The man couldn't stand it, thinking it wasn't his fault that Danger Force caused the worst jailbreak in Swellview history, but like City Hall said, (y/n) told him that they ultimately held responsibility. Their team, their rules, their fuck-up. 

He didn't have to like it - they just had to convince everyone that they were sincerely sorry. 

"--Wool, cotton, and nylon are all up, but polyester is down," Mary Gaperman said as she finished the last segment before KLVY cut to their exclusive interview with Captain Man and his pretty sidekick. Trent swore that no one cared, sitting beside her with a stony expression, preying for someone to end the pain of sitting through her report - he was waiting for the drama. 

"And that's the Sock Market Report," she finished, looking strangely serious for such a jovial topic. Still, they quickly moved on, the tension making (y/n) squirm in her chair. 

"Thank you, Mary. We now go to Captain Man and Miss Danger, live from the Man's Nest--" Trent sniffed dryly, cutting to the camera feed that showed the hero fiddling with his super-suit, only for his wife to clear her throat and nudge his arm. They tapped their earpieces, looking uncomfortable and nervous, knowing they were about to be scolded within an inch of their lives. 

"--to explain exactly what happened last night at Swellview Prison."

"Thanks for having us, Trent...Mary," (y/n) smiled, feeling her doofus reaching for her hand as she smiled politely, trying not to seem anxious. They strangled their gloved fingers together, glad to feel the warmth seeping through the thick fabric, reassuring her he was there. 

"Glad to be here. Thanks so much," Ray nodded, trying his signature Captain Man grin to placate their anger, but Trent didn't seem impressed. Mary, on the other hand...

"May we start by congratulating you both on your recent marriage," the woman smiled sweetly with her typical vacant expression. However, she still made the couple all blushy and shy, glancing at each other adoringly as they squeezed their joined hands and thanked her. 

"Captain Man, you broke a lot of hearts when you announced that Miss Danger was your wife...do you realise that you've taken the most eligible bachelorette off the market?!"

"Mary--Mary--focus, Mary!" Her colleague interrupted, wiping the smug grin off Ray's face since Trent's furious tirade meant he couldn't talk about his favourite subject - his sweet girl. 

He could go on for hours about her, recognising his privilege after wedding the girl of his dreams, making dozens of other men jealous. Anyone could see how in love he was, sighing contently and laying his spare hand over hers, holding her palm like it was the most precious thing in the world--until he ruined it. 

"We should be thanking them for taking time out of their busy schedules of letting hundreds of criminals out of jail." (y/n) cringed at how Trent phrased it, knowing that the niceties were over, and now, they were being chastised. The sarcasm made her stomach flip, fingernails digging into her knee as she sensed her doofus also tensing. 

"Let's keep in mind, Trent, that if inspirational movies have taught us anything, it's that the vast majority of the people in that jail were innocent," Ray argued, trying to smooth things over, but that just made things worse. 

"That doesn't help, doof..." (y/n) murmured under her breath. She was the type to sit there quietly and take the scolding, grovelling for forgiveness since she knew when she was wrong. Ray, however, was a man of the people and desperately craved their approval; like in every aspect of his life, he wanted to be in everyone's good books, whether it was his wife or his loyal fans. 

Even Mary found fault in his argument, quickly pointing out that this wasn't a movie, and half the villains weren't blameless. 

"Are you saying that all the criminals you both mistakenly freed were innocent?" She asked, making the heroine grit her teeth and crank her head to her husband, eyes hard and questioning as if trying to deliver a message to him. Really? Why would you say that, doofus?

"Criminals like The Toddler, Doctor Minyak, Arson Boy, Frankini--" she listed as the villainous names began to scroll up the screen, making the heroes sigh and shake their heads. Of course, they didn't mean it like that, but the news crew were excellent at twisting their words. 

"Well, not necessarily..." (y/n) said, thinking that they were just taking it too far when her doofus was clearly naive and innocent--doing his best at the end of the day. They made it sound like they couldn't make mistakes or defend themselves, sitting there like naughty children. 

"I'm not done," Mary replied firmly, shocking the heroine because they were always tight - friends because (y/n) felt sorry for her, knowing how mean and cruel Trent could be. Yet, it appeared that even Mary Gaperman's tongue could be pretty sharp. 

"Mr Nice Guy, Jeff, Lil' Mustache, Big Mustache, The Midnight Tickler, The Time Jerker, Trenchfoot--"

"Okay, look... We can talk about who escaped all day long," Ray sighed, wanting to move on since he knew about the criminals on the loose - he'd been fighting them for years, doing the cops' jobs. No one talked about that, but whatever; he just got on with it. What was the point of dwelling on the past?

"And we will!" Trent, however, was loving how the couple squirmed. Whether it was helpful or not, he continued naming names and pointing fingers, even though it wasted valuable time the heroes could spend catching the crooks. With a smirk on his oily face, he carried on Mary's list, counting every name on his fingers as the checklist went on and on and on...

"Sue Nami, The White Collar, Mr Guilty--"

"Okay, we get it! We need to catch Mr. Guilty, and we will, I promise," (y/n) scoffed, slumping back into her chair as she scrubbed her forehead on her palm, growing equally frustrated at how unfair it felt. she knew they'd done wrong, but the one-sided trial seemed unjust; it barely gave them a chance to redeem themselves. 

"How? You don't have Kid Danger to help you anymore," Mary noted, unknowingly throwing salt in a sore wound. Darkness instantly clouded Ray's expression, making him grumpy and vicious, still mourning the loss of the kid who was like a brother to him--like a son. He missed him every day, and he'd barely been gone a month, even making (y/n) grow silent as they clutched at each other's hands. 

"Don't you dare say his name," the man growled, hating how nonchalant the news anchors seemed, barely recognising their grief. 

He saw them at the boy's fake funeral, mourning his loss, but they didn't care, brushing off his death like it was nothing, and he hated to see how it affected his beloved wife. Maybe Henry wasn't dead, but he was a million miles away...or it at least felt like that. He placed a warm, comforting hand on his sweet girl's back, soothing her heartache as she wondered if her baby was okay, if he was eating or missing home...

"We have everything under control," Ray said calmly, trying to keep a lid on his temper, mainly when his snarl made Mary recoil slightly. He didn't want to flip out on national TV, but no one, not even some ditzy journalist, upset his wife...

"We have a new team. Danger Force," Miss Danger revealed, swiftly collecting herself to replace her despair with pride because she had new babies to focus on, even if she didn't quite feel the same for them yet...

"Yes, the ones who helped you and your husband free those very guilty criminals," Trent sneered, spitting the word out like the sight of her holding her doofus' hand made him gag. 

"Well, as we speak, Danger Force is combing the streets of Swellview to find those criminals," Ray revealed in a clipped tone as it grew increasingly difficult to remain civil. He didn't like the guy's manner or insinuations. Still, he controlled his temper for his sweet girl, her presence soothing his frustration. 

It might have been risky to send the kids to recover some criminals alone, but what choice did they have? Captain Man and Miss Danger were busy, and besides, they said they were more than qualified, making up for their mistake. After all, it was their fault that they were in this mess...

"Why aren't you out there helping them?"

"If you must know, we have a couple's massage scheduled today..." the hero sniffed, saltier about delaying their appointment than having to do the interview. He'd been looking forward to it, knowing his wife deserved rest and relaxation...and maybe his wandering hands when the masseuse wasn't looking. What he would do to see her in nothing more than a towel, soft skin glowing from the scented oils, sighs and moans falling from her lips from the massage. 

"I'm so sorry..."

"We didn't know," Trent and Mary quickly apologised, looking deeply ashamed of themselves for doubting the heroes when they already had plans. It was a little bizarre, making (y/n) quirk an eyebrow since that was what they decided to feel bad about. Still, she let it slide, tummy tingling at the thought of seeing her doofus wearing nothing but a fluffy robe. 

"We forgive you," she replied sweetly as Ray grabbed his drink - a weird beverage recently hitting Swellview's supermarket shelves. It looked like regular milk, like anything from a cow. Yet, it had a shocking, tongue-sizzling twist, which only the most ridiculous of inventors could've come up with. 

Spicy milk was the latest craze, tasting exactly as it sounded - strange. While it tricked the tastebuds and probably wasn't good for your health, it was strangely addictive. As Ray took a sip, (y/n) looked up at him with those big round eyes, channelling that cat from a famous movie, her tongue darting out to smack her lips together, indicating she was thirsty. He paused, mid-sip, glancing down at his wife and instantly knowing she wanted some, even though the carton was beside her. 

It wasn't like she wanted her own glass--oh no, that would be too easy. She never wanted her spicy milk, just a taste of his, often resulting in her finishing half the glass. If he was a stronger, crueller man, he would've told her to pour some more, but he wasn't, offering the rim to her mouth so she could drink her fill. 

It was endearing, watching as she gulped it down, swearing it tasted better coming from his glass--or it was just nicer to share. Pulling away, (y/n) licked her lips, smiling up at her lover contently as she leaned back, ignorant of the swooning fans at home as they watched the wholesome interaction, wondering where they could get a spicy milk-sharing man too. 

"So, after my wife and I have our massage and a nice glass of spicy milk--"

"Ooh, I love spicy milk!" Mary exclaimed gleefully as Ray took another sip, noticing the half-empty glass after his sweet girl downed half of it. Still, anything to make her happy...

"Who doesn't? Fresh from Swellview's famous spicy cows," Trent said rhetorically, knowing that the bizarre concoction had flown off the shelves after its release, taking Swellview by storm despite its zesty flavour. It burned...at both ends...but no one could stop drinking it. 

"Yeah, anyway--we'll get out there and help Danger Force round up the criminals if we even have to," (y/n) moved on, refocusing the interview as she ignored the pain on her tongue, wishing her doofus had chosen a soda instead. Stealing his drinks when he drank liquid fire was hard, but she couldn't help it - it was one of their earliest forms of affection. 

"Yeah! Any minute now, I'll bet our team is gonna come walking in there and say, Captain Man, Miss Danger, we got 'em!" Ray smirked, trusting the plucky children to make him proud after sending them off with simple instructions. 

Find a villain, safely incapacitate them, and bring them home. Don't die.

He didn't see what was so hard about that, but maybe that was because he'd done it for years. Enthusiasm didn't count for much without any skill, so (y/n) wasn't so sure, giggling nervously as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and proudly pecked her cheek. These were the same kids who blew a hole in the jail wall after gatecrashing their mission; she didn't have much hope. 

"Captain Man, Miss Danger, we got 'em!" And for good reason, too. Just as Ray's lips left her supple skin, Miles burst through the door, his energy and excitement suggesting that he'd nabbed some great villain - Doctor Minyak, The Time Jerker, hell, maybe even Jeff. 

The couple spun around, hoping to see success, but her brows furrowed when (y/n) saw the boy trotting toward them. There was no bad guy, no prisoner in sight, yet Miles' hands weren't empty. He carried a large baking tray filled with food, which strangely looked like slow-cooked chicken wings, given that he was also wearing chicken wing sunglasses. The heroine felt her stomach drop, and it wasn't because of the delicious smell...

"Ooh, right on time. Who'd you get?" Ray asked smugly, wanting the news team to get a good view of his apprentice's catch--to rub it in their faces that their heroes were competent, but instead, he was humiliated again. 

"Not a who, but a what! And that was is some wiiiiiings!" Miles cheered after dumping the silver tray in front of Miss Danger, making her jump when the gloopy, sticky sauce splashed on her skirt. Wiping it off, she licked her fingertip, wrinkling her nose when another hit of spiciness assaulted her tastebuds, and her face fell in disappointment. 

Not to be the negative one, but was Henry ever this...difficult?

"You're supposed to be rounding up criminals," she told the boy through gritted teeth as Chapa floated down the stairs, looking equally pleased with herself. Neither child recognised how the couple tried to keep up appearances and stay calm in front of the cameras so the anchors didn't see something was wrong, parading like everything was one big joke. 

"We were!" Chapa replied happily, circling Ray with another tray of chicken wings before setting them down before him. Of all the things that made them look like idiots, this had to be the most embarrassing, both adults gulping and grimly glancing down at the food as Trent and Mary gawped. Oh, the press would have a field day...

"No criminals at the wing store!"

"Just these bad boys! Am I right?!" Miles cheered, high-fiving his friends as she munched on the fried meat and shouted, only noticing the cameras and live monitors when (y/n) cleared her throat. 

"Oh, hey! Are we live?" She asked brashly, not even bothering to mind her volume since it was Captain Man's gig, and she didn't recognise the issues of being an idiot on national television, too busy riding on a superhero high. She leaned on Ray's shoulder, forcing the man to separate himself from his sweet girl since her body weight pushed him into his wife's space too much, turning the interview into a circus. 

"Yes, we are..." the man replied meekly as Miles poked his head between the lovers, ignorant of how (y/n) fell forward into the greasy tray or how the chicken stained her uniform. 

"What up, newsers?!" The boy shouted boorishly, throwing his greasy fingers up toward the camera as he loudly chewed on a wing, hideously uncouth and unruly for the world to see. Worse still, the news ticker at the bottom of the TV monitor said it all, proclaiming that Captain Man and his lovely wife were losing control of their interview, all thanks to their incompetent team. 

"It doesn't seem like you have everything under control," Trent remarked as the couple tried to quieten the rambunctious children, pushing them away from view with no success. 

"No, no, we've got everything under control. We're taking this situation very seriously," (y/n) replied with a stern finger despite her flustered expression and burning cheeks. As much as she tried to appear calm and collected, her furious glare said everything, especially when she whacked the chicken wing out of Miles' hand and slapped Chapa's knuckles when she tried to take another one - a picture of no control. 

"Will you two behave?!"

"She's dancing..." Mary pointed out, making Ray turn around to see how a wingless and bored Chapa had started wiggling her hips and gyrating her arms to a silent beat. She looked ridiculous yet refused to settle down when (y/n) scolded her, continuing to roll her body even as Ray glared. 

"She's not supposed to be dancing! She's supposed to be looking for criminals!" He growled, not that the girl cared. She felt invincible in her armour, especially after patrolling the streets as the city's newest hero, so who was Captain Man to tell her off?

As Chapa partied and Miles took another snack, Mika burst in, looking as frazzled and high-strung as usual. Fabulous; it was just what Ray and (y/n) needed--another child running rampant, but at least she had the decency to focus on the mission. She'd checked everywhere, but without training or knowledge, finding any criminals worth their time was impossible, so she returned humiliated and empty-handed. 

"I lost them at the wing store, but I--" Mika exclaimed as she hopped down the stairs, only to freeze when she saw the holographic screen. "Are you doing an interview?!"

"Yes! Live!" Ray replied sharply, not knowing whether to look at the girl or the screen, making him look cutely panicked. Still, there was no time for (y/n) to coo over his little pout as Mika gasped and immediately dropped to the floor, feeling awful that she'd been caught in the background. 

It didn't matter, not when her brother and Chapa were causing chaos, but she still ducked, sliding across the floor on her tummy like she was doing the worm. 

"Now both of them are dancing," Mary frowned, thinking the girl had joined her friends, mistaking her good intentions for mischief. 

"Yeah, this is, uh...this is their victory dance!" (y/n) lied, instantly regretting her words since they sounded so lame, but the kids went with it - perhaps a little too far. 

"Which we'll do on our enemies' graves!" Chapa exclaimed darkly, making everyone gulp because it wasn't Captain Man and Miss Danger's usual style. They weren't so deadly typically, capturing and controlling villains without ever stooping to their level because killing was cowardly. Superheroes worked with grace and compassion, which someone really should've said to the girl. 

"Oh my!..." Trent murmured as he and Mary visibly recoiled, shocked by such violence from a seemingly innocent child. That was the last straw, and Ray turned around to send them away before they said or did something else to ruin their reputations. 

"Get them outta here!" He hissed to Mika, hoping that she, the smart one of Danger Force, could take her wild friends somewhere else, but she was instead...clumsy. 

While Chapa and Miles danced around like idiots, she tried to grab their flailing hands, only to accidentally push her twin into a board holding a map of Swellview. He hit the tiled ground hard, sending the board clattering across the smooth stone, too, making more noise than when he and the red-wearing girl were messing around. 

"You guys are causing a scene!" Miss Danger told them in an uncharacteristically rude voice, feeling more stressed than she had in years, and that was saying something. She was naturally nervous, but she'd faced bad guys and ghouls, sat for dozens of interviews, and posed for hundreds of magazines, even facing her murderous ex-boyfriend. Still, none of that made her feel like this--like she was utterly helpless with zero control. 

"Oopsie!" Mika squeaked, shuffling on her hands and knees to try and mop up the mess before her teachers got even angrier, but it didn't help. 

"Captain Man, Miss Danger...it seems your team is embarrassing itself once again."

"You know what, Trent? Let me explain something to you about Danger Force," Miles snarled, interrupting the interview before Ray or (y/n) could reply, ignoring their attempts to placate him. He boldly stood between the couple, glaring at the dark-haired man as he sat back in shock, slightly frightened by his mean glare. 

"We don't play by your rules, old man!"

"I don't see why you had to bring my age into this..." the news anchor replied dryly as the comment rolled off his back since he had a thick skin regarding troublesome interviewees. He wasn't offended, but it didn't look good on the heroes' part that one of their protégées was hurling insults, unchecked and unchallenged. 

But it didn't matter. Before Miles could respond to his quick, calm quip, he shoved another chicken wing in his mouth, a violent, eye-watering heat suddenly assaulting his tongue. His hands flew to his mouth as the tube beeped, signalling that someone was coming up, but Miles didn't care, feeling like his mouth was melting to the movement of Chapa's dancing. 

"Too hot! Too hot! It's burning my mouth!"

"I got The Toddler!" Bose announced as he happily sauntered on-camera, smiling at his friend as he ran off, clutching his tongue for some reason. The kid was too ditzy to care, proud of his capture because this was the one Captain Man said was their number one priority, although nearly impossible to find single-handedly. 

"What? You got The Toddler?!" Ray gasped, eyes bulging out of his head as he stared at his sweet girl, and his dumbest student walked behind him, holding his captive. Even Mary and Trent looked at each other in surprise, wondering if they'd poorly thought of the new heroes too quickly as Bose planted the short person in front of (y/n). 

While she couldn't see their identity due to the mask the boy had shoved over his face, her tummy told her something wasn't right. In her experience, The Toddler wasn't one to get captured by some amateur, not without good reason, and as this criminal stood patiently before her, she noticed how small they were, barely meeting the middle of her chest. And was that...giggling she could hear? Not even one witty comment or "well, well, well..." coming from the guy...

"Wait a second..." she muttered before yanking the hood from the criminal's head, only to see that her suspicions were correct. 

The poor thing, they weren't even a criminal or an adult. Her frown melted, and a grin replaced it as she saw a little boy smiling up at her, pearly baby teeth twinkling as he giggled and reached out to stroke her face, clearly having been in the wrong place at the wrong time when a dimwitted sidekick came along. He was adorable - who could ever think he was evil?

"This isn't The Toddler! It's just a toddler!" She sighed as the boy giggled, fascinated by her soft features and shiny outfit, and it was enough to make her broody side go haywire. She liked kids - God knows she was around them enough - but she could hardly congratulate Bose for taking someone's child and expect a reward. 

"Do I get a treat?"

"No!" She exclaimed, petting the toddler's head as he prodded something cool on her utility belt. 

Ray watched closely, escaping his immense frustration momentarily to watch as his wife smiled at the little boy, whispering comforting words and stroking his chubby cheeks while chaos reigned around her. She handled things so much better than he did, looking so perfect as the child crawled into her lap, babbling nonsense that she agreed with anyway. Did he dare to admit that his heart soared at the picture?

"I need milk!" Miles' panicked pleading broke him out of his daydream, having broken into a sweat once the spice became too much. He was dying, begging for something fatty to soothe his tastebuds, and Chapa was quick to help. 

"Here's some milk!" She told him, dashing over to the interview desk to grab the red carton Ray and (y/n) had been drinking out of, urgently handing it over without reading the label since her friend needed it so badly. 

"No, that's spicy milk!" The woman exclaimed worriedly as the toddler hopped off her lap, eager to explore his shiny, glowing surroundings now that the lovely lady was distracted. But it was too late for Miles; he downed the milk without thinking, although he instantly regretted it when the liquid scalded his inner cheeks and tongue, coating his tunic and tender flesh with flowing fire. 

He screamed in pain, looking like something out of a horror film as the milk soaked his face and uniform, seeping into his eyes from how he tilted the carton too far. He ran off, screaming for Chapa and her devil drink to stay away and accidentally crashing into the map again as Ray sighed. 

His sweet girl rested her forehead on his shoulder as Bose and Chapa began dancing, Mika running after her brother with a damp cloth to try and wipe the spice from his eyes. The toddler stared at the elder children with wide, wonder-filled eyes, glad he'd been taken from his dull stroller for this adventure, not that Captain Man would agree.

Turning back to Mary and Trent, he offered a tired smile, looking every bit the overworked, underpaid, outnumbered father he was, patting his wife on the head as she closed her eyes. The interview was a disaster; she didn't care who saw her. 

"It's under control," the man nodded, smiling through the pain as the reporters sat back, thoroughly convinced the Captain was out of his depth. And you know what? Ray thought they were right.

~Later that day~

Once they'd wrapped up the disastrous interview, Danger Force didn't see Captain Man and Miss Danger until after lunch. Undoubtedly, the man stomped off with his sweet girl traipsing behind, needing to cool off before he saw their faces again. 

He was furious, having had enough of Trent's smartass comments and Mary's unintentionally offensive question, and had marched off to their bedroom before someone or something blew up his temper. (y/n) calmed him down, snuggling her doofus on their bed while he grumbled about being a laughingstock, but that didn't mean he still wasn't mad. 

And the kids felt terrible, offering the boss their apologies when they finally emerged past noon, looking a little bedraggled and breathless, but that went over their heads. Ray graciously accepted their apologies, guiding his diligent pupils into SWAG without considering the embarrassment they'd caused him, putting his fury behind him. 

Until it came to the lesson of the day. 

Perhaps it was a little Victorian, but he put them to work as punishment - an hour of sparring for all the memes now circulating Twitflash about Captain Moron. It was hard, sweat work, yet the hero merely sat and watched, nibbling on a bowl of miscellaneous snacks with his sweet girl on his lap as the children whacked at punching pillows. 

(y/n) took precautions, knowing she couldn't argue, and it wasn't like they didn't need the fighting practice, but she gave them protective gear - thick boxing gloves and hard plastic helmets. She didn't want them hurt, even if Ray couldn't care less. 

"Keep it goin'..." the man said flatly as he ate another chip, cradling his pretty wife as she nestled into his muscular embrace. He didn't give a fuck, his bored gaze passing over the exhausted children as their energetic attacks became weak punches, barely slapping and kicking their opponents, but he wanted more, feeling joy only when (y/n) pecked his jaw. 

"Put your back into it..."

"We've been doing this for too long!" Miles groaned and yanked off his helmet. He was finally fed up with his teacher's unenthusiastic directives as they worked themselves to death. It must've been nice to sit on a chair made from a gym ball, barking orders as his wife fed him cheese puffs. 

"Yeah, how much longer do we have to practice fighting?" Chapa asked as her friends took a much-needed break, staring at the unimpressed couple as (y/n) glanced away from her phone and threw another chip into her mouth. She wondered when they'd get grouchy but made no move to leave her lover's lap, practically melting as his bulky arms clenched and flexed around her body. 

"As long as I say!" And, God...if his grumpy voice didn't do things to her. 

"I feel like you're mad..." Bose suggested gently, making the woman's lips twitch at his innocence, even if it infuriated her husband even more. 

"Mad is an understatement," she giggled, frustration simmering in her stomach, but she hid it better than Ray. While she wasn't so mean, she did believe the kids needed a lesson, knowing they wouldn't last a week with regular missions. She shifted in his lap to face them, hearing the grump behind her grunt as her ass ground down until her back rested against his chest. If he was fury, she was fairness, keeping him in check. 

"You guys embarrassed me and my sweet girl on the news!" Ray grumbled, stuffing his face with food to numb the pain. He didn't want to be in public for weeks until the heat died, preferring to cower between the sheets with his wife. She didn't laugh so harshly like everyone else, too sweet and soft to be mean...

"Why do we even have to practice fighting? We've got superpowers," Chapa asked, showing her open, spark-free palm, but this time, even (y/n) frowned, folding her arms as she gave the girl a curious look. She thought the answer was obvious...

"Yeah, and you're super-trash at using them," her doofus retorted before she could express her disagreement, making her snort at his speedy wit, which wasn't typical of him - the man who thought it was pronounced supposably. She tried to hide it, clamping a hand over her mouth to smother her giggles, but that didn't stop the kids gasping and frowning at his burn. 

It stung more than they cared to admit, but it showed on their faces, and they didn't appreciate how (y/n/n) laughed, rubbing salt in the wound as her cocky husband shrugged. 

"If you were trying to offend us--congratulations, ma'am and sir..." Bose sniffled, and he was the one (y/n) genuinely felt bad for. The kid walked around in a daydream, aiming to please and following his friends like a well-meaning sheep. But as much as (y/n) wanted to be sincere and comforting - like it was in her nature - Ray merely shook his head and tucked his nose into his wife's neck, inhaling her fragrant scent to calm himself down. 

"You know what, Danger Force? Let's show these guys what we can do!" Mika said, turning to her friends with her typical defiant attitude, pursing her lips as the couple looked up with tired yet interested eyes. Oh, they couldn't wait to see this...

"This should be good..." (y/n) sighed, wiggling in her seat as she sat straighter, unphased and unafraid in the face of their combined strength. Her movements made Ray grunt, his hand squeezing her hipbone as the other tightened around his snack bowl - he was more concerned about spilling the chips and remaining pubically decent than their attack. 

However, their lack of fear didn't phase the team, who took their places in a line, much like they'd done at Swellview Prison. They prepared themselves, Bose's fingers raised to his temples, Mika's held up to her face. At the same time, Miles mentally readied himself to teleport, and Chapa's rage sparked her electricity. And still, Ray didn't budge - neither himself nor his precious wife. 

"Oh, here it comes..." he sighed, gaze barely bothering to flicker over them as they went for the attack--if it could be called that. 

Honestly, (y/n) expected it to be bad, but this was dire. Worse than she imagined, making her confidence in the team plummet. Mika's scream wasn't super-sonic, not even a tenth of the ferocity when she blew the jail wall down, more like a gentle breeze that tickled her face and made Ray's hair flutter. 

"There it is, everybody. Strap in."

Chapa's electricity was more tickle than shock, illuminating her fingers but travelling no further. She could growl, shout, and curse all she wanted; her fury wasn't strong enough, barely generating enough power to make her hands glow, so Ray didn't need to worry about protecting his sweet girl. Her tummy wasn't even tingling, signalling no threat here. 

"This is embarrassing..." she muttered, watching with an almost disgusted stare as Bose tried to lift the chair from under her and Ray.

With his fingers on his temple, he wanted to make it move, using the techniques she'd shown him to raise pencils and peanuts - light objects since it was clever to start small. However, moving the big, bulky chair burdened with a big, bulky man and his wife wasn't easy, making his muscles strain. His head hurt like a migraine was throwing a salsa party in his skull, and the chair didn't even move - a waste of energy. 

"Miles, are you in a Journey concert?" Ray asked as he fed (y/n) a chip, laughing as the kid fisted the air, almost like he was jamming out at a rock concert. He wanted to move, but unlike when he couldn't stop his random teleportations, this time, he couldn't budge, not even an inch. 

"Bose, do you have to use the potty? Because it looks like you need to make a boom-boom," he added dryly, moving his criticisms onto the boy next to him, highly amused by how he squeezed and strained to make something--anything move. 

The whole situation shouldn't have been so funny, the hilarity mixing with despair for the couple because this was their team. Even when Henry was powerless, he could still fight, but this? This was like sending babies into battle - soft, squishy beings who thought they were invincible. 

But something did come of their efforts. As they all tried to attack the couple, the pot of pencils sitting on the lectern toppled over, spilling across the floor and making them cheer in victory since someone hit it - and they had to take wins where they could find them. 

"Oh, no. Help. Death by pencils..." (y/n) retorted sarcastically, staring as the yellow graphite rolled across the floor. She couldn't even be bothered to feel impressed that they'd managed to hit something, knowing they'd have to be tidied up.

"I'll keep you safe, darlin'..." Ray joked, curling around her body and smooching her neck, grossing the kids out with the loud, smacking noise of his lips and tongue meeting her skin. They gagged when she squirmed and laughed, but as much as she claimed to hate it, she still moved closer, too engrossed in the addictive affection to focus on who knocked the pencils over. 

"I moved those with my mind!" Bose exclaimed gleefully, ignoring how his stomach lurched at the couple's love to celebrate how he'd managed to use his power. Those practice sessions had helped, but everyone else begged to differ...

"No, I zapped them over!" Chapa argued, even though no one had seen any bolts leaving her hands. 

"I knocked them over with my scream!" Mika shouted with a bright smile, still ecstatic that she had a superpower, having had few opportunities to test it out, and none of them were successful. She hadn't found the proper technique to activate it yet, but maybe, just maybe, she'd managed a mini-scream while aiming at Ray's smug face. 

"Actually, I teleported over, knocked them down, and teleported back. Points for Miles!" The boy on her right boasted, looking particularly proud, no matter how implausible it was for him to make it to the lectern and back unnoticed. 

His impossible feat caused an argument, making his friends yell about how full of it he was and how they'd obviously pulled it off instead. They were so loud that they were giving (y/n) a headache, her hands reaching over her ears, and she couldn't take anymore, not when they were arguing over nothing. 

"Hey, hey, hey! Shut up!" She yelled over them, sounding like an enraged mother as she nearly rose from Ray's lap, only for his arm to stay anchored around her waist. He couldn't bear to lose the weight of her, not for something as dumb as a childish argument, and even if it was just for a few more seconds, he wanted to hold her close. 

"Guys...you were trying to hit us! Who cares if you hit the pencils? They weren't the target, but if you can't even get your powers to work, let alone aim... we're screwed."

"(y/n/n)..." Mika murmured, hating to see her disappointed. As much as Ray was the boss, (y/n) was the sun, cheery, bright and beautiful; her warmth helped them grow and feel safe, and most importantly, the world of the Man's Nest revolved around her. Everyone, especially Ray, strived to impress her and keep the sun smiling, and seeing her so dejected was like the room grew cold and loveless. 

"Hey! You know what, guys?" Ray butted in, pulling his wife closer like he was shielding her from all the negativity. He appeared happy, smiling and bouncy like his puppy, but it fell. 

"If we ever get into a fight with an army of angry pencils...we'll probably have to do everything ourselves..." the hero sighed and placed the chip bowl on the floor, looking utterly disappointed and defeated - a rare sight for the unbeatable Captain Man. 

(y/n) tried to cheer him up, kissing his forehead and cheeks when he sat up, but the awkward moment didn't last long. An alarm rang in the classroom, dusting the walls in red light, warning the children and teachers that hero work was over and this was meant to be a school.

"Stranger approaching... School mode activated," an automated voice spoke, and the argument vanished. 

There was no time for petty disagreements, and the kids dashed into action, instantly running to throw all the equipment into Schwoz's tube system, cleverly hidden in what looked like a regular cupboard. Anything with Captain Man's logo turned into dust in the tube, the genius' nanotechnology keeping everything neat, tidy, and swift. 

"Let's go--let's go--let's go!" Ray whispered urgently, clapping his hands as (y/n) slid off his lap and hurried to help them, making room for the classroom furniture - normal stuff like desks and paper. 

They threw the boxing gloves, pads, and mats into the cupboard, glad it could all be shoved in without finesse. Once everything was tucked away, everyone stood flush to the walls, allowing the tables and chairs to return to the floor, giving the room a kooky yet believable classroom feel. 

Ray and (y/n) even had their own routine, looking more like junk store owners than teachers, and they didn't go in for that anymore. The heroes raised their arms as two sleek suit jackets fell from the ceiling, one tailored for his broad shoulders and the other cut in a more feminine style. 

They slipped down their bodies in a rehearsed yet efficient manner, fitting the couple perfectly as they wiggled to get them on properly. (y/n) was particularly fond of them, remembering how she stitched the school's crest on the pocket while dreaming about how the blue blazer would match his eyes--too handsome for her heart to take. 

The board faded from hero stuff to schoolwork, depicting a paragraph on World War One, a diagram on the physics of a ping-pong ball, and a drawing of a triangular prism. Ray grabbed a ruler, and (y/n) slipped on a pair of glasses; they were set, looking studious and wise like real professors - just in the nick of time, too. 

"Okay, everyone, act normal...or as normal as you can get," the heroine told everyone as she and her doofus approached the front door, taking deep breaths since they weren't too confident in doing teacher-y things. 

Whether they should hold hands was something they ignored, needing the contact to remain calm and attentive. At the same time, the kids draped themselves over their desks, channelling the well-known boredom from a math lesson or history lecture, not that Ray could teach either. 

"Hey, hi, hello, yes, hello, hi--can we help you?" Ray rambled once he'd gained the courage to briskly open the door, only encouraged by his sweet girl squeezing his hand. 

Instantly, he didn't like the guy staring back, noticing he was taller, lanky, and not bad-looking, rather handsome by most women's standards - not that he had anything to worry about in (y/n)'s books. Admittedly, he didn't look like much to her, wearing a delivery company's uniform as he smiled politely, even tipping his head at her like a suave gentleman. Still, she didn't like how he stepped over the threshold and into the room. 

"You're interrupting the school day--lesson--learning. The children are learning..." she stammered, losing her cool when the strange man smiled at her, seemingly staring into her soul like he knew something...more. 

The kids agreed, grinning politely at the stranger like normal pupils, not four unruly brats embroiled in a dispute with their overprotective mentors. It was funny to see them all staring back; like curious meerkats, it was apparent that they rarely got visitors, not that the audience spooked the delivery guy, who studied the classroom and its occupants carefully. 

"What are you learning?" The man asked, outwardly harmless, but something seemed off about him. Ray definitely didn't like how tall he was, towering over him by another three inches at least, and that was saying a lot, given his six-foot frame. Maybe it was the paranoid supe in him, but he suspected everyone of something - perhaps he was a villain in disguise. 

"Biology."

"Nohe of your business."

"Books..." the children's varied replies came, puzzling the man even further, prompting more questions in his frown, not that the adults gave him another chance to speak. 

"Who are you?" (y/n) asked curtly, folding her arms as the dude peered down at her pleasantly, leading to Ray draping his arm over her shoulders, coating his sweet girl in his scent and toned muscle. He'd punch a guy if he needed to. Yet, he wasn't interested in flirting, moving past the woman with a dismissive grin, more interested in the classroom. 

"Just a guy..."

"Well, what are you doing here?" The hero pressed, mildly irritated, when he saw that the guy was literally called Guy. Everything about him screamed ordinary, but there was still that weird vibe, especially when he looked straight past Ray and at the room again. That stung for a guy so used to commanding attention wherever he went. 

"Just strollin'. Saw this school. Thought I'd stroll in and ask some questions."

"Oh, slow your stroll...guy," (y/n) quickly stopped him when the stranger tried to push his way into the school, acting a little too nosy and suspicious for her liking. And Ray didn't like when she had to put a gentle hand on the guy's stomach to keep him in the doorway, growling lowly in his throat when he recalled how those fingertips had trailed down his abs earlier that morning...and lower. 

He really didn't like this guy but didn't get his chance to throw him out on his ear. When (y/n) pushed Guy away, the toddler ran into the room, still roaming SWAG and the Man's Nest because Bose hadn't returned him to his family, so he was just running around, loving life...with a pair of giant scissors. 

"Is that your kid?" Guy asked the couple, spotting their matching golden rings and assuming they'd procreated the little hell-spawn flying between the desks, dual weapon in hand. 

"Scissors!" The little boy cried happily as Ray and (y/n) sighed, hearts fluttering at the thought of the pitter-patter of tiny feet sounding in their halls. Still, it was drowned out by the worry of the toddler falling and cutting his face off. Did his parents never tell him not to run with scissors? And giant ones, at that?

(y/n) gasped as he twirled the scissors behind him, threatening to chop Danger Force's legs off, and she swiftly jumped into action. It was funny to see her running after the little boy, cooing for him to stop and wait for her, but the chase was like a game to the kid - he just giggled and kept going. 

"Get outta here!" Ray exclaimed angrily, shoving Guy out of the door so he could go and help his sweet girl with that scissor-wielding nightmare. Luckily, the delivery man didn't fight much. He slipped onto the porch before Ray slammed the door in his face, stalking toward the front of the classroom as his wife struggled to catch him. 

"What is that toddler still doing here?" he asked sharply--mainly looking at Bose since he brought him home. It wasn't like he hated the idea of people assuming they were parents, but he knew his kids would be much cuter - they would be part-(y/n), after all. 

"Bose, we told you to take him back to where you found him," she said exasperatedly, catching her breath when she failed to grab the boy. He was too fast, zipping under desks and out the door before she could scold him for being so dangerous. 

"And I told you I can't remember where I found him," Bose replied curtly, stressing that in his infinite wisdom, he'd made a slight mistake. It was a mistake that had Ray practically pulling his hair out and (y/n) rubbing her red eyes for the millionth time, knowing they would get so much shit for this. 

Of all the things he could've done, kidnapping someone's baby had to be the worst thing--it's what sent people to prison, heroes or no heroes. 

"We have bigger problems than the fact that Bose kidnapped a child and gave him giant scissors..." Mika said, plunging the couple into deeper worry because that sounded like rock bottom. 

"What could be bigger than a felony? Y'know, judges don't like people who steal babies!" (y/n) groaned, already planning a move to Cuba with her doofus in case the cops came banging on their door. But the girl didn't seem too bothered, flicking through the built-in PearPad on her desk and seeing some troubling news. 

"(y/n/n), I just got a GuGu alert."

"Hang on, I'll alert the free press," the woman replied sarcastically, wondering what her social media had to do with their misery, but Mika quickly showed them. She flicked her screen onto the board, mirroring the post that had her pretty face looking so worried, and it wasn't good. 

"The video of Ray and (y/n)'s interview earlier went viral. They gave us stupid names!" She exclaimed as the couple studied the video clip of Trent and Mary, pondering what she meant. Well, they did act like idiots in front of thousands of people; the internet could be cruel...

"What?!" Chapa gasped, but Mika didn't elaborate. Instead, she hit play. 

"Breaking news! A disastrous interview on KLVY, and this time, it wasn't Mary's fault."

"That's right, Trent. Mary did good!" The video started with the usual grump and his beaming colleague, who was very pleased with herself for not screwing up for once. Rather, the heat was on someone else, and she was happy to let them have it if it meant the mean trolls left her alone. 

"But you know who did bad? These kids, who ruined an otherwise perfect interview."

"Once known as Danger Force, these kids are now being called Oopsie Girl, The Wing Wimp, Spicy Milk, and Gorgeous Hair Boy," Trent reported, (y/n) watching as the kids' faces fell into deep, uncomfortable frowns, groaning as their embarrassing photos were shown. 

It was unfortunate, knowing that they'd done this to themselves. The heroine gave them an empathetic smile, remembering when she was known as Captain Man's friend, Female Kid Danger, or just That Woman for the first few weeks of her career. The names were cruel and offensive, but the last one - Bose's nickname - made her uneasy, wondering who was looking close enough to notice the kid's lush, silken locks. 

"Ugh, when will people stop talking about my gorgeous hair?" He grumbled as if it was a bad thing, but judging by the light blush on his cheeks, (y/n) guessed that he didn't like people treating him like some himbo object. Of course, he was a person, not just cute dimples and long hair. 

"It's, like...my eyes are down here, people!"

"I do not want my superhero name to be Spicy Milk!" Chapa snapped, abruptly pushing her chair back and stomping toward her teachers, wanting them to do something about the cruel taunts since they had status, power, and respect. It was all right for them; they had cool names. 

"I object to The Wing Wimp in the strongest possible terms!" Miles agreed, gathering near Ray and (y/n) too, thinking it wasn't his fault that he ate too many chicken wings and burned his tongue out. It was an accident, but most memes are...

"Well, have you thought about what you want your names to be?" (y/n) asked as Ray curled an arm around her hips, slipping his hand into her back pocket so it sat snuggly on her ass. She tried not to let it phase her, brushing over the move as he stood there, smiling happily as his fingers tapped her squishy flesh. 

"Yes!" Mika declared excitedly, having literally thought about nothing else. 

Obviously, they knew who they wanted to be - it was all they could think about. Finally, reaching a stage where they were fit to go out and fight crime with fully-fledged superpowers and heroic names was the dream. They'd stayed up until midnight once, pitching wicked ideas until they were deemed good enough for Ray's standards. He wouldn't work with losers...

"I want to be ShoutOut 'cause once I shout--you're out!" The girl explained with a smirk, making the couple glance at each other, humming appreciatively. That one wasn't bad...

"And I'm AWOL because just like that...I'm gone!" Miles said dramatically, mimicking how his superpower made him disappear in the blink of an eye. Much like his sister's, his name was interesting, although the couple didn't show emotion...yet. 

"I'm Volt because..." Chapa growled, opening her hands so her electricity could do the talking, even though the name was self-explanatory. However, nothing happened when she commanded her fingers to spark, leaving an awkward pause when she realised she looked stupid, standing there with crooked fingers and no zapping. 

"Okay, hold on..."

"Right..." Ray sighed, not needing any more since he got the picture, but the girl insisted. So, he and (y/n) waited, turning to Bose. Meanwhile, she cursed herself for failing in her big moment, forced to let them picture the electricity whilst the man patted his wife's butt affectionately. He loved her cute little heinie...

"And I'm Gorgeous Hair Boy!--" The confused kid announced, making the teachers frown because he seemed so sure of himself--until he thought about it momentarily, his face twisting into an innocently merry grin.     

"Wait, no! I'm BrainStorm because I'm smart...Wait, no!" He said, a little confused, but he had spirit. Nevertheless, his name was also pretty innovative, reflecting his power and abilities rather than his intelligence, which didn't matter in the heat of battle. 

"So...what do you think?" Mika slowly asked the couple, seeking their approval since they had the knowledge, experience, and, most importantly, the last say. 

"We think..." (y/n) replied, equally slowly as she turned to her doofus, instantly lost in his crystal blue eyes so they didn't verbally communicate, but they didn't need to. Such soulmates knew what the other was thinking, knowing the other approved, so they just eye-flirted, giving each other goo-goo stares while the kids waited in suspense. 

"Those names are pretty swet!" Ray grinned, praising the kids as they jumped in victories, agreeing they'd created unique and personalised aliases exceptionally well. 

They chatted briefly, basking in the happiness of finding the names they'd use for the rest of their superhero lives. However, in the excitement, they didn't notice someone creeping into the room - surprisingly silent for someone so tall but certainly unwelcome...

"Well, then, you're in trouble." A deep voice rumbled behind them, spooking the group as they jumped to see Guy, the weird delivery man, standing near the back room door. He must've snuck in that way or climbed through the window and had been eavesdropping without them noticing for a while, an impressive feat when dealing with hardened heroes. 

"Because if the news says your superhero name three times, that's your superhero name for-ever!"

"How the hell did you get in here, Guy?!" (y/n) exclaimed, still wrapped up in her doofus after he pulled his hand from her back pocket like it was burnt, swiftly shielding her with his body as he scanned the random dude for threats. He couldn't work him out, so he just stuck to glaring, hating how he spoke the truth. 

Weird; for just some guy, he sure as hell knew a lot about hero life, offering wisdom like he'd had firsthand experience. 

"Yeah, our security system's incredible!" Ray exclaimed, petting his wife's pretty head to try and calm her down, despising how this schmuck made her jump. He'd knock him out for messing with her nerves, but he'd kill him for smirking about it, almost challenging him with those amused brown as he stared down at Captain Man, who, for once in his life, felt small. 

"I know..." the guy smiled, looking like a boy on Christmas as he buzzed on the spot, weirdly excited about something... "I built it!"

"What?" They all frowned, but he didn't give them any longer to question it. 

To their horror, the man bent in half and grabbed the skin of his neck, yanking it grotesquely until it began to peel away, almost melting his face as another one was revealed. His entire head came off, and his body shrank, leaving a much smaller, less handsome guy in his place, one they knew all too well. 

"WHAAAAAT?" Ray's jaw hit the floor, his eyes widening, and his arms falling limply around his sweet girl as everyone stared at Schwoz. Genius Schwoz. Inventor Schwoz. The Man's Nest's resident weirdo Schwoz. Schwoz, whose disguise was so brilliant that no one even knew it was him, and all it was was just a bit of latex and a couple of stilts. 

They couldn't believe it, choking on their saliva as he giggled, thoroughly satisfied that he'd managed to trick them and even made Ray jealous. Honestly, he hated any guy whom his sweet girl looked at, except for little old Schwozie, the least threatening but cleverest guy around. 

"Schwoz?!"

"Yes, it's me, Schwoz!" The small man smiled at Chapa and the other kids, taking the old name tag off his shirt to show his real name underneath. 

"I was just pretending to be Guy to make sure you all followed the security protocol," he explained as Ray grinned, forgetting all of his suspicions and hate to praise his handyman. He'd tricked everyone through and through, and whilst (y/n) was still reeling from the shock of watching a man rip his face off, her husband loved it. 

"Well, were you also just pretending that if the news says our dumb names three times, they become our real superhero names?" Miles asked worriedly, hoping that part was another hilarious prank. The Wing Wimp sounded like such a loser...

"Ohhhh, no!" However, the genius just laughed, killing all hope in the boy, whose smile quickly dropped. 

"No, I don't joke about names. Only faces."

"Schwoz is right. Back before I was known as Captain Man, I was almost known as Angry Punch Guy," Ray revealed, making (y/n) giggle.

She vaguely recalled that time, but it was difficult to remember when Swellview was without its famous hero, and she didn't really pay attention to his exploits until he stole the headlines every day. And even then, she didn't care about such a womanising bighead until they met on that fateful day... Would she have fallen for him if he had called something so...stupid?

"Why would you call yourself that?" Mika asked, thinking it was strange, much worse than Captain Man, but maybe that was because she'd grown up with the name everyone knew and loved. 

"He didn't. Trent Overrunder did, though, twice. And he almost said it a third time..." (y/n) explained, rolling her eyes as she remembered the incident, one of the first times that little spandex bastard caught her attention. He wasn't as impressive in those days, hardly the man she fell in love with. 

"Well, what stopped him?"

"This doofus intervened..." she told Miles, who sensed something more to what she was saying, given how she fought a teasing smile, one that hinted at something more than a silly name. 

"He got a liiiiittle visit from Angry Punch Guy," Ray added with a smirk, turning to the whiteboard as he flicked through some folders - Schwoz Fails, Hot Toks, Honeymoon <3, Angry Punch Guy - and clicked a video onto it with his remote control. Instantly, the kids knew it was from the archives, shocked by the grainy quality and the fashion--God, the fashion. 

Was this the modern day or the sixties? Ray wasn't even that old, deeply confusing the kids as an ancient-looking Trent appeared on the screen, a thick thatch of hair on his head and an old-fashioned moustache tickling his upper lip. His hideous maroon suit matched the outdated decor, making (y/n) sigh. She forgot about how things were that year...

"Dozens of protestors flooded the streets, but their free speech was thwarted by pro-war activist and Swellview's newest superhero, Angry Punch--" the man reported, only to be interrupted by a quick, brutal fist slogging his cheek. 

Wearing a garish bejewelled purple and green outfit, Mary looked up to see this new hero, who wasn't exactly the man the kids knew. It looked like Ray, but if he fell into a pit of flower-power, boogies, and peace signs, his old-style Captain Man uniform open in a V-neck, flared in the trousers, and sporting long yellow tassels on the sleeves. 

He looked ridiculous, and no one, except the adults, knew why he looked so old for a twenty-something-year-old guy. 

"That's not my name, dig?" Even his voice was different, slightly squeakier, and it held a smoother note like some hippie pothead - it screamed of the sixties. 

(y/n) rolled her eyes as she watched her future husband saunter up to Mary, both looking stupid as he hitched his leg onto the table and stared down at her from under his spherical afro. She didn't know what he was thinking, glad that the sixties fever only lasted a few months in the early noughties when the throwback was in vogue. 

"Now, let's disco, baby!" Yeah, there was no way her fourteen-year-old self initially had a crush on Captain Man, not when he danced like a grandpa on the news with Mary Gaperman. They danced to a retro song, crooning his chosen name, shimmying to the beat in their bell-bottom clothes, bringing back so many memories for Ray. 

His early twenties were unique, but Captain Man didn't have it easy originally. 

The kids and his wife stared as the hero launched into a groovy dance, swinging his hips and arms around as he recalled the summer of the swingin' sixties, even though he had to rework his image once autumn came. They didn't know what was worse - the hideous clip or how his body was moving...

"How old are you?" Miles asked, utterly disturbed by what he'd just seen. He couldn't believe (y/n) married someone so...weird, swearing that while he had the face of a guy in his late forties, he had to be, like...sixty, right?

"Next person who asks me how old I am is going to get a little visit from Angry Punch Guy! Who is thirty-s--thirty. Thirty!" Ray quickly replied, ceasing his dance to sternly threaten the kids, who knew how touchy he was about the O-word despite only knowing him for a few weeks. 

No one believed him, not missing how he stumbled over his numbers, and how could he lie when his sweet girl was next to him? She didn't care how old he was, thinking he was the kindest, cutest, hottest, doofiest man she'd ever met, and if he was thirty, she was twenty-four again. Yeah, right...

"Thirty-nine, doofus. You're thirty-nine, and I'm thirty-three," she smiled softly, giving him a tight side hug as he sighed, not liking how it sounded out loud. He was so old, yet she still seemed young...not that (y/n) saw it that way, turning to the kids with a besotted smile as she clung to her beloved doofus. 

"As weird as it seems, that was two-thousand-and-one when Ray was twenty. Everyone in Swellview went through a phase of loving the sixties--it was a whole thing. But it got old veeeeery quickly, thank God..." She smiled, glad they could laugh as Ray blushed, embarrassed that he thought his afro-hair was a good look. 

"I might not have accepted your job offer if Angry Punch Guy turned up at the cafè looking like that."

"You didn't think I was handsome back then?" The man asked, quirking an eyebrow at his wife as she giggled, recognising his slight panic. The thought of very easily losing the precious moment when he met her freaked Ray out, wondering what his life would've been like if his scrawny, tacky old self presented himself to the pretty college student. 

"Nah...I prefer you now. You've hit the gym since then and lost the flares..." (y/n) winked, reaching up on her tip-toes to join their lips as she fondled his bicep, ignoring the groans from Miles and Chapa. While Mika thought it was sweet and Bose was...Bose, they hated the PDA, glancing away when their teachers flirted. 

Jeez, when Schwoz said they were in love, they didn't think it was this gross. They made their parents look like they hated each other...

"So..." Mika said, a twinkle in her eye as the husband pecked his wife's forehead, calmer with her than he was with anyone else. She didn't know how Miss Danger did it, but she tamed his heart and soothed his temper, making serenity out of chaos in a man her mother said was bad news for the female kind. 

"How did you get people to start calling you Captain Man?"

"He just got the most popular person in Swellview to say my name on the radio..." (y/n) replied, her ear against Ray's chest, listening to his heartbeat, as she smiled at the girl like it was the most obvious thing in the world. They didn't have smartphones when she was young; the radio was the it-thing. 

"The radio? How old are you---" the girl laughed, snorting at the notion of something so old-fashioned. But she quickly realised her mistake when Miles tapped her arm, the vowel sliding as she tried to cover the insult before the couple's mildly insulted faces. 

"--Unicorns when they get their horns? Oh, I just remembered--it's seven!"

"Cute, but, uh...we didn't have social media when I was a kid. None of those Clip-Clop video things or Insta-Tweet...things," the heroine replied, really showing her age as she tried to think of the hip stuff the modern youth engaged in. She liked the radio, although streaming apps were helpful for all her rad tunes...

"Who did you get to say your name on the radio?" Chapa asked firmly, redirecting the conversation away from Ray's sore point...and (y/n)'s weird slang choices. 

"A DJ named Cayote Jake," the hero replied with a smirk, thinking that man was the coolest guy ever. His sweet girl couldn't agree, thinking he was an ass. Still, he'd helped her husband earn his rightful name, so she allowed him to play the old video, flicking through another handful of digital folders. What was The Bro Song? And Honeymoon *Spicy*? What was in there?

"Ah--oooooo!" The animalistic cry brought back old memories, making the couple smile nostalgically as the audio file played. It was only a minute or so long, but (y/n) knew Jake's style like an old frenemy, his brash voice assaulting her ears as Ray grinned. He still thought he was cool...

"Yeah, baby! It's Cayote Jake comin' at ya! In the studio with me right now is the hero who's fixin' the high-five Nixon--Captain Mannnnnnnn!"

"That's right. I hate commies, but I love mommies..." Ray's lips moved to his old catchphrase, making (y/n) sniff and clear her throat. 

They howled together, sounding ridiculous, so she had to tell herself that her doofus was an idiot back in the day - running rampant for every mother in the tri-state area, but that was before he met her. He wasn't her doofus then. 

"Oh my God!" Mika exclaimed, an incredulous yet awed expression on her face, which inflated her boss' head. 

"Yeah...that happened!"

"No, it's Ellis!" She shook her head, pointing at the little boy Bose had brought home, whose name they'd finally discovered. 

He'd returned from hiding after avoiding (y/n)'s clutches. While they were distracted with Ray's bizarre past, he'd clambered onto Chapa's chair, giant scissors still tucked under his arm as he fiddled with all the shiny switches. God, he was an accident waiting to happen, much more critical than Ray and his ego. 

Before anyone could do anything, the child pressed the glowing button on the armrest, activating the spring that sent him into the tubes in the ceiling. It was bad enough when he roamed the school, but the Man's Nest was filled with dangerous weapons and technology - not a playground for a preschooler. 

"Oh, God--how are we supposed to give him back if he's cut to ribbons?!" (y/n) panicked, clenching her lover's arm as he gulped. Danger Force turned to them, looking for instruction as they cringed, imagining the mess they'd be in if Ellis tripped with the blades facing him. 

"We should probably go get him..." Ray suggested sheepishly, and for once, no one disagreed with the hero, running to their stations without argument. As he and his beloved wife stripped themselves of their blazers and ran into the back room, the kids dashed to their chairs, Miles and Bose awkwardly sharing a seat since Volt stole the yellow one. 

Upstairs, the kids arrived first to see the little boy running in circles around the open floor. The gleaming point of the scissors glared at them from across the room, threatening to jab anyone who came too close. Ellis did nothing but tempt fate as his butter-soft leather shoes slid and slipped over the polished tiles, laughing innocently at his little game. 

"Ellis, you shouldn't run with giant scissors!" Bose cried as he chased after him, even though the boy was surprisingly speedy for someone with such short legs. And, of course, Bose wasn't the best guardian for the lad, reaching into his pocket to bring out a smaller yet deadly pair. 

"Run with these normal-sized ones!" As if that helped. The tube alarm rang, signalling that Ray, (y/n), and Schowz were blasting into the room in a short burst of air. They didn't look too happy as they trotted down the few steps, watching the long-haired boy chase after Ellis, causing more chaos than he solved. 

"We gotta get that kid back to his parents..." Ray grunted, knowing he was a more considerable liability the longer he stayed in his home. 

"Aw..." (y/n) pouted, not because she disagreed; the boy had to go home, but because she enjoyed his childlike energy, thinking it brightened the Man's Nest in a way that couldn't be achieved in any other manner. Still, she wasn't delusional, knowing the time for babies would come one day when things weren't so crazy, and they'd undoubtedly be half-sweet-girl and half-doofus, not stolen. 

"After I stop Trent and Mary from ever saying those names again," Chapa growled, taking out her case of gum to transform into Volt - decidedly not Spicy Milk. She didn't care if Ray and (y/n) had such a minor problem; their superhero careers were at stake. 

"You'd better hurry. The two-thirty-eight news starts in twelve minutes," Mika advised her, knowing the peculiar and oddly specific news timetable like the back of her hand. No one asked why, but she had all the weird facts, making her brother gasp at the late hour. 

"It's two-twenty-six already?!" He exclaimed as he and Ray checked their watches, but nothing stopped Chapa. Without another interruption, she snapped into her scarlet uniform, feeling good but looking better. 

"All right, I'm out!"

"I'll drop you off--with my superpower!" Miles offered, looking at the adults with a sour smile like he wanted to prove a point. It wasn't a good idea since his teleportation was patchy at best. Still, he didn't care, wanting to rub successful transportation in their doubting faces. 

"I'll believe when I--woah!" (y/n) giggled, thinking she knew better, predicting that something would go wrong, and it did. 

When the boy raised his fist in the air, he and Chapa disappeared in a golden flash, just to reappear between Schwoz and the happy couple. They pushed apart in shock, but luckily, the heroine's foresight told her to jump before they piled on top of her, seeking solace and safety in her husband's embrace as he yelped. God, he really needed to learn how to do it correctly. 

"Maybe you should walk..." Miles told his friend, patting Volt on the shoulder as she stared at him, her face pale and gaunt after such a short yet mind-boggling trip. She couldn't describe how it felt to teleport. Yet, the closest description was her innards becoming her outtards whilst the gizzards were set on fire, making her want to throw up and cry all at once until the dizziness faded. 

But she didn't argue, knowing he was probably right. So, she hopped up to the tube, hitting her belt to make the glass fall around her, eager to get going. 

"Down the tube!"

"so, while Chapa takes care of Trent and Mary, Miles and I will go find the most popular person in Swellview," Mika said efficiently once her friend had left, aware that they'd only save their reputations if they worked together. She believed in teamwork and all that mushy stuff...

"Lucky you 'cause you're looking at him," Ray was quick to boast, smirking as he pointed his thumbs at himself, confident that he'd top the popularity list as the city's favourite hero. But the siblings and Schwoz weren't so sure, giggling with (y/n) at the bigheaded man as the genius pulled up a list from the internet, and it seemed that the Captain had been dethroned. 

"You're not the most popular person in Swellview..."

"You shut your filthy mouth, Schwoz," Ray hissed, hating how the small man always argued with him, but (y/n) quickly put him in his place, curbing his rude tone. She hugged his arm and kissed the edge of his shoulder, using all her wiles and allure to break the news gently. 

"No, look, doofus!" She told him, directing his attention to the holographic monitor, which showed the top five most famous people in Swellview - those trending on all the social media sights.

He was on it, ranking at number three, above someone called Officer Jamz, a policeman known for his breakdancing, and Benny, a dog known for his hats. His face fell at such a low ranking, pouting at how his popularity had dropped. But he wasn't too mad at who was above him, seeing Miss Danger's smiling face in the number-two spot. 

"Oh my gosh, (y/n/n), you're the second most popular person in Swellview!" Mika exclaimed, nudging the woman in the ribs as she shrugged. That didn't mean much to her. She wondered exactly how they measured her fame, so she faced her husband, giving him her cutest, fluttering eyelashes to melt his fury. 

"Sorry, doofus. I know I took your spot..." she said softly, stroking her hands up his chest as Ray studied the screen, but he didn't look mad. Instead, he glanced down with an enamoured smile, kissing her nose with as much love as he always had. 

"S'okay, darlin'. You know I love seeing you on top of me..." he whispered with a sly wink, laughing as she buried her burning face in his chest, praying that the children didn't understand his true meaning. Luckily, they didn't pick up on it, merely seeing a man teasing his wife - all good fun. 

(y/n) quickly recovered, swallowing her embarrassment with a few rapid kisses from her husband, needing his peppermint-bubblegum taste to wash away the heat pooling in her cheeks. She returned to the screen and its most important feature, looking at the girl who'd claimed the throne - the most famous person in Swellview, and (y/n) had no idea who she was. 

"Who's Natalie Mazdah?"

"Oh, she's the girl who was recently on the same flight as Emma Watson," Miles exclaimed, not expecting two oldies to know who such an influential celebrity was, and indeed, they didn't understand. Since when could someone leech off someone else's stardom? 

"Oh, her? Can't compete with that..." Ray shrugged, vaguely knowing the name since every teenager talked about her when he was out and about, but he didn't care. Maybe he was a little salty that someone so inconsequential had stolen his thunder, but with his sweet girl squeezing his arms and staring at his washboard abs through his shirt, he knew some things were better than fame. 

"She's probably at that new restaurant that only serves foods that are blended," Mika guessed, recalling how she'd been meaning to visit the newest hot spot in town since anyone who was anyone gathered there, but she hadn't the chance...until now. 

"Hip Hop Purée?" Miles suggested, knowing the joint she was talking about - all about the music, people, and odd food craze, and his sister nodded, knowing her celeb gossip like a computer. 

"Mmm-hmm, she holds court there every day, starting at two-forty-two."

"But that's only fourteen minutes from now!" Schwoz gasped, checking his PearPhone as Miles did the same, blanching when he saw how they'd been standing around chatting for too long. These kids really liked their specific times, down to the minute and second. 

"It's two-twenty-eight already?!"

"Yeah, you two better get going," (y/n) told them, urging the kids to get up the stairs and into the tube. With Ray's barked commands and furious clapping, they ran up to the tube pad without another word. 

Meanwhile, Bose returned with Ellis in his arms, finally corralling the little boy into handing over the scissors. God, that kid could run, and he safely handed him over to the heroine, who cooed and grinned at his gummy smile while Miles and Mika left. 

She looked adorable, bouncing him up and down, mimicking a rocket ship just to make him laugh, and Ray swore he saw his future then and there. He was the luckiest man on Earth, knowing she'd be his children's mother one day, although that wasn't now. Now, Ellis needed to go home to his parents, who were undoubtedly worried sick at his disappearance, leading to their mission - to find his home. 

"So, how do we find this little man's parents? You wanna go home, baby? Home time? Aww, yes!" (y/n) squealed, rubbing her nose against the boy's soft, Play-Doh-like cheek, blowing raspberries as her husband tried not to drag her off. 

She wasn't making this easy for him, showing the lad off for him to see. Still, thankfully, Schwoz carried on as he tenderly stroked the cornsilk locks under his beanie, dreaming of the day when he could call the child his own. 

"That won't be hard," Schwoz said, smiling softly when he saw how they interacted with Ellis, but he hid it well and said nothing. 

"I entered his genetic information into the Man's Nest computer and created an image of exactly what his mom looks like. We'll use this and go find her," he explained, handing his boss a photo of a beautiful blonde lady beaming at the imaginary camera. Well, at least she looked kind, and (y/n) hoped she wouldn't be too upset about two weirdos accidentally stealing her son. 

"She shouldn't be too hard to find now that we know what she looks like."

"Okay, so, me, you, and Bose are going to find this kid's mom," Ray nodded, still muddled with thoughts of building baby furniture, changing diapers, and filling bottles. It sounded divine but made him trip over his feet, Ellis giggling at the silly man as the lovely lady carried him over to the whooshy thing. 

"You okay, Ray?" Schwoz called out to him with a smirk, highly amused to see the great hero in a daydream just because he saw his wife holding a child. He thought he had more restraint than that, having been assured that he wouldn't be Uncle Schwozie for a while yet, not until things settled down. 

"I'm fine! God, Schwoz, leave me alone!" The man snapped harshly, furiously looking over his shoulder when the genius caught his minor mistake, a pink blush dusting his cheeks. 

It was humiliating to be noticed, feeling silly that something so small could distract him so easily, but who could blame him? It was his dream...

"Why so grumpy, doof?" (y/n) asked obliviously as she stood on the tube pad, ready to drop down. She held the little lad tighter, tucking his soft face into her neck so the mechanism didn't frighten him. Everything felt natural, caring for him like she'd done for years with the other children in her charge, stroking his back soothingly as her lover sighed but smiled. 

"Don't worry, sweet girl. Like I said, I'm fine..." he assured her, cupping her cheek to kiss her over Ellis' head, parting only when the boy cried and stirred at being squished. They chuckled at his antics and fussed him, looking like the picture of parenthood and domesticity before the tube fell, taking them away from Schwoz and his infernal teasing. 

The genius shook his head mirthfully, knowing that look when he saw it, even if they claimed nothing was wrong. He wasn't an idiot, already placing his bets for when they'd share the happy news - maybe they'd even name them after him - perhaps he'd be the godfather? 

"Jinkies, they've been married five minutes and already got the baby fever..."

~

As the various members of Danger Force struggled to keep their names from being Wing Wimp, Oopsie Girl, and whatever else forever, Ray and (y/n) had been babysitting Ellis all afternoon. 

He was a sweet kid, making them laugh as they bought a few pieces of baby gear to look after him properly, taking him to the park and shopping mall--anywhere they thought there'd be a crowd. No one seemed to know who he was or where he was from, making an otherwise pleasant afternoon too stressful for the couple to handle. 

As charming as it was to see him smile, hear his cute giggle, and play patty cake, they constantly had to watch over their shoulders to see if the cops were coming, knowing the longer they enjoyed the idyllic fantasy, the hotter the water they'd be in. 

That, and they also had to watch Bose all day, which was like watching two babies at once, something they weren't prepared for since the long-haired boy roamed like a ditzy poodle, sticking his hands in dangerous places, eating food off the floor, and talking to strangers. He was sometimes worse than Ellis, wandering off whenever they took their eye off the ball. 

It was no wonder that by the end of the day, they walked into Hip Hop Purée, desperate to sit down and rest, even as Miles and Mika ran themselves ragged, trying to talk to Natalie Mazdah and her posse. 

"Look, Raymond, all I'm saying is if you had brought the baby like I'd asked you to, we wouldn't have to stop here to feed Ellis," (y/n) told her husband tiredly as they stomped into the café. She couldn't believe they had to feed the poor kid puréed garbage, but they had no choice - Ray swore they wouldn't need anything from the baby store. 

Her shoulders ached from holding the lad in a baby backpack, yet she refused to admit defeat and pass him over. Her valiant doofus carried all the supplies; bottles, diapers, books, toys, spit rags - he threw it over his shoulder without complaint, so the least she could do was carry the baby. 

But they were tired and stressed about finding the mysterious woman in the photograph. She was beginning to understand all those parents she rolled her eyes at, wondering what could be so bad that they needed to argue in public. The struggle was real, and whilst she loved Ray with everything she had, his stubbornness versus her rationale for parenting rubbed her in the wrong way.  

"You know what, sweetheart?" Ray frowned, spitting out the word like acid, even though it didn't feel right. She was his beautiful wife; he didn't want to fight...but couldn't he catch a break?"

"You have been critical since the moment we left!"

"Don't fight in front of our boys!" (y/n) hissed, concerned that their harsh words would frighten the children around them, knowing they were more sensitive than they let on. 

Bose, as usual, was lost in his little world, marvelling at the fancy decor. However, Ellis sat silently in his backpack, peering at the world through his new shades until the silly man's voice became mean. Fat crocodile tears began to roll down his face as he wailed, feeling unsafe in the new environment with all the loud voices, prompting (y/n) to sigh. 

They made it look so effortless in parenting videos. 

"Well, I hope you're happy..." she retorted, moving to slide the boy off her back so she could comfort him. Her glare made Ray's guts twist into knots, hating that she was mad at him over something he couldn't control. 

Scrunching up his nose, he tossed the supply satchel onto the table, not giving a damn about its contents, as he placed his hands on his hips and bit his tongue, not wanting to scream in front of so many people. They shared a terse look while (y/n) bounced the surly toddler, murmuring in a high-pitched voice that it would be all right and that the big bad man didn't mean to frighten him. 

She didn't want to upset him, but Ray huffed, thinking the big bad man wouldn't be so frightening if his wife let him do more, noticing how she always held the boy, always did the feeding, always called the shots for naps, playtime, and burping. They were supposed to be a team, so why did it feel like he was on the outside looking in?

"Let's just sit down..." the hero muttered, barely having the strength to argue after a full parenting day. Maybe it was because they didn't have the spark of having their own child, but this wasn't how he thought it would be. 

Still, (y/n) didn't argue, carefully putting Ellis on her hip as she told Bose to sit down. The kid pulled out a colouring book and crayons from one of the bags, which had been bought for the baby, but they let him doodle since it kept him occupied and quiet - a blessing when the atmosphere was so frosty. 

With both children content and healthy for the time being, the couple took a sigh of relief, slumping into their chairs to let their bodies recover, only interrupted when a waitress came to take their order. They chose their food quickly, nothing seeming appropriate for a three-year-old, but they went with what they thought he would like, just wanting to get him fed rather than being picky. It wasn't like he really was their boy. 

For some reason, Bose was happy with anything, too busy colouring his fire truck green to look at the menu properly. Still, they went with it, forgoing any puréed mush since Ellis ate like a toddler - unsurprisingly.

Dinner time was a military operation with wet wipes and a fresh t-shirt on standby in case he dribbled or spat something back, and (y/n) was always prepared, reaching to grab the backpack while balancing the child in her lap. 

"Why don't you give him to me, sweet girl?" Ray asked as he watched her struggle. Bending down to reach the zipper while keeping Ellis upright was no mean feat, and he just sat there, doing nothing but watching Bose mismatch his crayons. It made sense for him to mind the baby, and it wasn't like he was terrible with kids, yet (y/n) just smiled sourly and shook her head. 

"I'm fine, doofus. Might as well be prepared before he vomits rather than after..."

"Yeah, but I'd rather not watch him faceplant the floor, so just pass him to me," he pressed, pursing his lips to remain calm, even as she ignored his offer. 

She clearly needed help, gasping under her breath when the child nearly fell, but she wouldn't admit defeat--no, she had to prove she was good at this. To whom she didn't know, but she wanted to be good at parenting, even if it was just keeping him uninjured before eating. 

"I said, I can handle him, Raymond," (y/n) replied, swearing when the zipper got stuck, and Ellis squirmed, uncomfy in her unsecured hold as his head wobbled from side to side. 

Ray sighed deeply, not needing to be psychic to know an accident in the making, so he reached out to steady the boy, taking his wife's wrist in his hand at the same time. He pulled her away from the blasted bag, unphased in the face of her scowl because as much as she thought he was the enemy, he wanted to help. She didn't have to do it all alone...

"Hey, I'm here to help, not screw you over. You don't have to take care of everyone, so let me help you, sweet girl. Give Ellis to me..." the man said firmly but softly, holding his arms to take the child as she debated it. She'd been cuddling him all day, and a break did sound nice...

Bose had paused his colouring, finally sensing something was wrong, and he watched as (y/n) bit her lip and squeezed the toddler before relenting, shuffling him down her knees and across the gap. 

"Okay..." the heroine sighed, gently cradling the kid until he safely slid onto her husband's knee, looking quite content against his muscular, broad chest. Now, Bose could return to his artwork, blissfully unaware of any other problems after they shared a brief but loving smile. 

Ray grinned down at the kid as his precious wife watched, softening her heart with how handsome he looked--how quickly he stepped into the paternal role, whether he claimed otherwise or not - a dad she'd definitely like to...fall in love with. 

With the child's weight gone, she could breathe again, stretching her spine as her doofus cooed, babbling in babyish to entertain him. He was good at it, pretending his leg was a horse and Ellis was a cowboy, riding across the desert with sound effects to match - a braying whinny and epic soundtrack coming from his mouth. 

"You know, doofus, to say you hated the thought of having another bunch of kids to raise, you're surprisingly good at it."

"What?" Ray blinked, looking up from the world of make-believe to see his wife looking at him like he'd done something magical. She hadn't smiled like that all afternoon, soothing the knots in his tummy as she tickled Ellis' chin before resting her hand on his thigh. 

"You're good with kids," she clarified, hoping the simplicity would make it through his dense skull, and it did, making Ray chuckle bashfully since he didn't think so. He was the last person he'd trust with a mini-human's life. 

"Eh...so are you, sweet girl. The kids...they, uh...like you," he replied awkwardly, not knowing how to say that their team worshipped the ground she walked on. And not only that, but the others did, too, becoming special enough to treat her like their adoptive mom, and he could see why. He married the sweetest girl in the world...

"I'd hope so, doof. It's gonna be pretty awkward if they don't like their teachers." They laughed at that, glad to finally relax after an eventfully stressful day. Ellis was quiet, fiddling with his fingers or the lint on Ray's sweater so they could just talk--and it was nice, no need to bite each other's head off. 

They felt terrible about it, hating when they fought, and Ray reached out to take her hand in his. He thumbed her wedding rings, reminding himself that he promised to wake up every day and see her happy, and he intended to hold to that, never wanting to be the reason she stopped smiling. The world would be a cold place without her radiant joy...

And then, deep in thought, he paused as she adjusted the boy's hat, caring even when she didn't have to. She'd make a wonderful mother, and whilst he knew it wasn't possible, he couldn't help but ask, reaching for the distant future.

"We could have one."

"Have one what?" (y/n) frowned, concerned by the deep etches in his forehead because her lover never thought that hard. She didn't understand, too busy fawning over how good he looked in that shirt with a kid in his lap to truly listen to what he was saying. 

"A baby." But Ray humoured her, rocking Ellis before gesturing to him, a hopeful shine in his eyes at the possibility- however small - she might say yes. 

Her breath hitched; hearing it out loud differed from dreaming during stolen moments in a crowded room when she chastised herself for moving too quickly. Knowing Ray wanted that warmed her heart and made her tummy flip-flop. But reason won in the end, rationality telling her that the last thing they needed was another mess-maker in their home. 

"Ray, we agreed to wait. We've barely been married a month."

"And what a month it's been, darlin'," he replied jokingly, waggling his eyebrows at all the fun they'd had together. He could honestly say that he'd never been happier, realising that for all his ambitions and desires as Captain Man, his reason for living was to be her trophy husband. And he didn't even care, willing to give her anything to ensure the happiness stayed.

"Seriously, though, look at this little fella. Don't you want one?" His smile quickly fell, though, as was appropriate during such a meaningful conversation. They'd talked about it so many damn times, but he couldn't help himself, not when she walked around like a...mom. The thought was enough to make him burst into flames. 

"I do, but not when we live in chaos," (y/n) nodded, picking her words carefully since she didn't want to hurt his feelings. It wasn't an outright no, but she saw things practically, highly aware that mere love and optimism didn't raise a kid when hellfire and villains were outside their door. 

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad..."

"Really, doofus?" She looked at her husband dryly, wondering if they'd been sleeping in the same bed for the past few weeks because they hadn't had a normal day since...forever.

"Chapa nearly took out the national grid last week when she sneezed. Mika can't go to a football game without knocking a pyramid of cheerleaders down like dominoes when they score. Miles goes to thirteen million countries per day. And Bose--"

"What's wrong with Bose?" Ray asked, believing the boy to be dense but not a threat. At least unlike his friends, his powers weren't easily triggered or deadly, neither were they likely to expose them all as superheroes, but (y/n) still wasn't convinced. 

"Well, nothing, but look at him, doof! He's eating crayons!" She exclaimed quietly, jerking her head in the oblivious kid's direction, and Ray saw that his precious wife was right. Drawing away in his happy little world, the hero cringed when he saw the waxy yellow stain around his mouth and red clumps sticking to his teeth - he thought they tasted like candy. And that boy was destined to be a hero, apparently. 

"A baby would be a bad idea right now..." she sighed, denying her heart what it sorely wanted, but it was for the best. If she got pregnant now, the kid would be lost in the crowd, trampled by the circus of children running riot in the Man's Nest. 

"I guess you're right..." Ray muttered, looking disappointed as Ellis' chubby, starfish-like hand stroked his stubbly cheek. It made him long for the days when they wouldn't have to worry about others - villains, heroes, civilians - they'd just be Ray and (y/n). And they'd be great. 

"But one day, right?"

"Of course. One day, we'll have a little Ray or (y/n) junior," his wife giggled, falling in love with the idea of having more doofuses running around for her to mind - any kid coming from Ray had to be adorable. But he shrugged, hoping they'd be a little more creative when the time came, despite his ego; he wanted his children to be their own person, no need to follow his every footstep. 

"You know, I've always wanted a daughter named Marabelle..."

"No names, doofus. Not until we're sure, or we'll be knee-deep in kids."

"Doesn't sound so bad..." he chuckled when (y/n) gulped, tummy fluttering at the thought of doing actual baby things, warming her cheeks. 

If she thought about it too much, he'd lead her into temptation, and God knows she was only hanging on by a thread, given that she was married to a Greek God of a man. Very little was stopping her from hitting the pillows and raising an army of little ones. But thankfully, the waitress arrived with their order before she could jump his bones. 

"Hi, I got your blended cheeseburger, blended Thanksgiving dinner, and an entire blended chocolate cake!" The hipster-looking lady said and placed the food--drinks?--in front of them, the mush looking cooler than it was since the cups looked like mason jars with straws.

The chocolate didn't look too bad, but the burger and turkey goop looked like cat sick, making (y/n) wonder if they'd come to the right place as she and her doofus murmured their thanks. 

"Oh, and here's some spicy milk to wash it down!" She added, putting the carton near Bose, although the heroine knew she wouldn't let Ellis have any - that stuff would make him puke. 

"Okay, thank you very much," Ray smiled briefly before reaching for the dark brown cup to feed the toddler, even though the cheeseburger was there. 

"You want a lil' sip of chocolate cake?"

"Doofus, he has to...drink all of his cheeseburger before he can have his chocolate thing," (y/n) told him, grabbing his wrist before he could put the straw near Ellis' mouth, knowing the boy would ruin his appetite with dessert. He needed some proper nutrition, if there was any, in the orange purée. While she didn't mean to be difficult, Ray pursed his lips at the interruption, his frustration from the hours-long argument resurfacing. 

"He's had a long day, darlin'," he replied curtly, wanting to get some food in the boy to stop his tummy grumbling. He wasn't a stickler for rules, unlike his wife, who frowned at his obstreperous mood - where did the laughter go?

"I've had a long day. Just start with the cheeseburger!" The woman argued, holding onto the blended cake so he couldn't give it to the toddler, but Ray refused to let go. They looked a little silly, and Bose looked up awkwardly to see them bickering again, seeing how the lid wobbled under their fingers. Even he deduced that the pressure was an accident waiting to happen. 

"Oh, let's make it about you!"

"Where's this coming from, Raymond? I just want him to eat something proper before a sugar meltdown!" They growled at each other, tugging the chocolate shake back and forth, too stubborn to let go. 

"Will you just--AH!" Ray grunted, trying to slip the jar out from her fingers, but when (y/n) let go, the lid popped off, sending its sticky contents all over his beautifully tight shirt. The chocolate gunk seeped into the blue fabric, covering his chest, shoulder, arm, and neck, too much to dap off with a napkin as the woman put a shaky hand over her mouth in shock. She didn't mean for that to happen...

"Ah, great!"

"Sorry..." she winced, not knowing whether to grab a tissue to clean him up or stay still, but Ray didn't leave it up for debate, ignoring her apology. Gritting his teeth, he sighed, trying to reign in his temper as the mess dripped onto his jeans, forcing him to leave the table as Bose and Ellis giggled. They found the goop funny...

"Here, just take him..." he told her quietly, quickly shuffling the lad off his knee as she gasped, shocked at his change in mood--and over a blended cake, no less. She shook her head at the argument, thinking it and her doofus were ridiculous. Still, she accepted the boy anyway, keeping her stare emotionless as he stood up. 

"Oh, so now I have to have him again? That lasted long..."

"Yes, I have to go wash this off!" Ray replied, gesturing to the sticky purée coating his torso, looking abnormally upset about something--something much deeper than having a drink thrown over him. He pouted at the spillage, hoping it wouldn't stain since he loved that shirt, wearing it when he wanted to draw someone's attention to his finer features. 

"I wear this shirt to make you check me out!"

"Well, it works!" (y/n) hissed in reply, trying to stay mad, but how could she when he admitted something like that? 

Her cheeks burned at being found out, having sworn her glances and stares were sneaky and subtle. But perhaps she'd gotten sloppy, looking at her lover's bugling biceps, toned chest, and rippling back for too long--and not to mention how she sometimes stared at his perky butt. She loved that shirt, smiling softly as he stomped off to go and save it. 

"He's a real sweetheart, huh, Ellis?" She mumbled to the lad, pecking his little forehead as he squirmed in her lap. It was hard to hang onto the argument when he had her in his thoughts in everything, and really, what were they arguing about anyway? Chocolate cake? It made her feel guilty and silly...

"Such a doofus, too..." But I love him, she thought, rocking the boy as she encouraged him to drink his cheeseburger, mentally reminding herself to properly apologise to her husband when he returned. 

In the meantime, Ellis got dinner and show, sipping his food quietly as Bose coloured his book and Miles and Mika burst through the door, wearing their uniforms. They'd been concocting plans all afternoon to make Natalie say their superhero names, approaching her clique with high hopes and much bravery. However, she simply laughed them away, not bothering to entertain two losers when she could talk about her brief encounter with Emma Watson. 

Y'know, because that was fame. 

"Okay, hurry! Hurry!"

"Don't tell me my pace!" The siblings bickered as they entered, knowing the longer they waited, the higher the stakes were; Chapa couldn't hold Trent and Mary off forever, and rumour had it that they were already on their second strike. One more, and The Wing Wimp would be permanent. 

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Bose asked, looking up from his work to see his friends looking frazzled. It felt like forever since he'd seen them, and he couldn't wait to show off his pretty purple tiger. 

"What are you doing here?" Mika shot back, shock written across her and Miles' faces when they turned to see the little group, complete with (y/n) and Ellis. The woman and child waved cutely, but that wasn't the point because they were supposed to find his parents, not engage in play dates at Hip Hop Purée. 

"Honestly? I forgot...but look at my fire truck! And my tiger! And this flower!" The long-haired kid replied with a shrug, but he quickly perked up when he showed them his colouring book, flicking through the pages to show them how he'd expertly filled in the outlines, even if all the colours were odd. They nodded politely, praising him for a job very well done before turning to (y/n) for an explanation. 

"(y/n/n)? Care to explain?"

"We got tired, came to feed the kid, had a fight, and now Ray's washing a mushed-up cake off his shirt. I think that covers everything," the heroine replied, still holding the blended cheeseburger as her charge cooed, loving the bizarre taste even as the flavours swirled together. 

"You're supposed to be looking for Ellis' parents. He's missing!" Mika reminded her, picking up the carton of spicy milk to show her a picture of poor little Ellis Farrow, reported missing by his worried parents. The woman bit her lip, scolding herself for not acting as promptly as possible just to pretend for a little longer. Now, she felt bad...

"Oh, sweet cheese..."

"He's not missing. He's right there!" Bose told his friend naively, pointing at the giggling kid as he grinned, but that only frustrated Mika more. She growled and clenched her fists, not in the mood for his moronic comments, and she was this close to super-screaming the building down. 

"Let's go get Natalie Mazdah to say our names before someone says--" Miles told her gently, trying to guide her away from the problematic boy, but then, someone noticed their funky uniforms, and it just had to be someone from the bitch posse...

"Hey, it's Wing Wimp and Oopsie Girl!" A pretty blonde girl exclaimed to her friends, pointing at the embarrassed sidekicks as they sighed, hating how she giggled tauntingly. 

"--That."

"Right! Our superhero names! Wait for me. I'll transform and be right back!" Bose grinned, pinching Ellis' trick and standing up, moving past (y/n) before she could scold him for talking about hero things in public. He wanted a piece of the action, even though they didn't have the time nor the need to drag the boy and his wild ideas with them. Still, despite their insistence, he went for it, passing Volt as he slipped through the door. 

"Hey, lady!"

"Did you get the news to stop saying your names?" (y/n) asked, bouncing the kid on her knee as she studied the milk carton for Ellis' parents' phone number, and a tired-looking Chapa joined her friends, and she didn't look happy. Her guess was no...

"Technically? No. But actually...also no." She called it. One point for (y/n/n). 

"So, the news has said our names twice?" Miles asked incredulously, increasingly nervous they'd be stuck with those names forever. The girl didn't look confident, sweat clinging to her forehead like she'd run all the way from the studio, and he hoped she hadn't done anything rash. What he didn't know...

"Technically? Yes," she sniffed, making the boy smack his forehead in frustration. Meanwhile, (y/n) had pulled out her PearPhone and punched in the number on the spicy milk with a heavy heart, hoping the toddler's parents didn't kill her for waiting so long. If they got him back, it would be okay, right?"

"Shush, you guys--" she told them quietly as the number dialled, beeping for a few seconds before connecting to a very frantic-sounding man. 

"Hi, yeah, I'm calling about your missing child? Ellis? We've got him at Hip Hop Purée," she told the man as calmly as possible, only to receive a slurry of harsh words about what, when, where, who, and how. He demanded to know if she was a weirdo after his son disappeared from his stroller, which she took deep offence to, knowing Bose was to blame, not her. 

"Excuse me, sir, I am not a kidnapper! We found him at this café! Look, just come and get him! Bye!" As Bose returned to the group, she abruptly hung up, wickedly playing on the parents' emotions that they'd come to get their precious baby, no matter the circumstances. 

Perhaps she'd skirted over the details that she'd enjoyed a day of make-believe with her husband, acting as if they were parents for a few hours. Still, they didn't need to know that, sounding like they were already running out of the door when she hit the red button.

"Okay, let's make this quick. There's a raincoat-wearing puppy in that colouring book with my name on it!" Bose told his friends as the woman sighed, eager to enjoy her last few minutes with the child as they messed about with Swellview's favourite celebrity. With the gang back together, Mika turned to the clique huddled in the corner of the room, feeling fearless now that she had her mask on. 

"Natalie Mazdah!" She called out, catching the pretty, if highly annoying, girl's attention. 

"Hi!"

"We are Danger Force..." she told her sternly as (y/n) sat back to watch the show, knowing she couldn't leave Ellis alone to go and transform into Miss Danger. They were on their own, and the tension was palpable; approaching the girl idol like that was brave--or perhaps sheer stupidity. 

"Yeah, and my name's not Wing Wimp. It's--" Miles added, fully supporting his sister until an uninvited visitor burst onto the scene - before they could declare themselves valid, serious heroes. 

"Well, well, well..." (y/n) sat bolt upright as an all-too-familiar figure strolled into the café, her eyes wide and tummy tingle on high alert. 

She watched whilst The Toddler - not Ellis, the actual supervillain - pushed the door open and walked straight past her, heading for Danger Force with his onesie-wearing lackeys hot on his heels. Something told her he was gatecrashing this party, and the gum tube in her pocket seemingly dug into her hip more than usual, but she couldn't grab it, not while she had the kid. Of all the times for Ray to step away...

"It's The Toddler! Someone save Natalie Mazdah!" The blonde girl cried, petrified as she glanced around the room for Captain Man or Miss Danger, but no one was around. (y/n) felt helpless, making eye contact with Mika as the stunned kids gulped, finally facing their first proper, one-on-one fight. 

"Who cares about Natalie Maaaazdah?" Todd sneered, thinking the blonde was brave but idiotic for shielding the so-called celebrity when he'd wreak havoc on them all. And his enemies were nowhere in sight...

"Y'know, she was once on a plane with Emma Watson," the woman in the corner retorted dryly, hugging Ellis close as he cowered before the bad guys, but strangely, she didn't. She thought it was hilarious that The Toddler knew her so well but didn't recognise her, daring to meet his eye when he whipped around at her monotone voice. 

"Okay, let's put a pin in that because I really want to hear that story later," he gasped, too busy with villain stuff, but he wasn't opposed to a bit of gossip. It was strange; that girl with the baby looked and sounded familiar and was maybe a little gutsier than most, but he couldn't quite place it. Eh, she didn't look like much of a threat anyway...

"But first! Toddie's hungry..." he growled, revealing his more menacing side under all that childish horseplay. With a snap of his fingers, he ordered one of his bulkier henchmen onto his hands and knees in front of the cash register, creating the perfect step for the man-baby to peer at the terrified waiter and step onto the counter. 

"Not on our watch, Toddler!" ShoutOut announced, causing the villain to stamp his feet in a temper tantrum, wanting to know which fool stopped his fun before it began. 

"Who are you?!" After leaping off the counter, he growled his demands, glaring at the four plucky kids as Miss Danger secretly watched from her seat, dithering about whether she should risk leaving the baby alone to transform and help. But Mika seemed to know what she was doing, either finding her courage or playing off her fear brilliantly as she and her friends eyed their enemy and prepared themselves for a fight. Those lackeys sure looked big...

"We're Danger Force!" Chapa replied snarkily. 

"Yeah, that's Spicy Milk, and she's Oopsie Girl--" Natalie said, nearly ruining their reputations as she studied the group innocently, simply repeating what she'd heard on the news. She didn't know they were serious about being heroes, making her frown when the kids shouted at her for being so stupid, for saying their names wrong--for not listening when they needed her most. 

"Okay, all right, enough!" The Toddler yelled, holding his hands up to stop the children from bickering. Jeez, he missed when all he had to worry about was Captain Man and his little sidekicks, but they were nowhere to be seen. And fortunately, he could handle a few meddling kids, especially ones with such weird clothes. 

"I don't care what your names are. Just stay out of my way!" He snapped, prompting Mika to try and use her super-scream. Raising her open palms to her face, she released an all-mighty roar, only to raise a few eyebrows. For some unknown reason, she couldn't get her vocal cords to flex properly, making her just look strange as Todd chuckled - who were these clowns?

"Waaaaaaahh--okay, lemme try again---"

"What are you doing?" He asked as the bizarre girl kept screaming, staring at the floor when nothing happened. Did he need to call her carer or something? 

(y/n) hid her face in her hands as she watched, cringing when Poor Mika moved another pot of pencils onto the floor but nothing else. Her scream wasn't powerful enough, reinforcing her and Ray's argument that they weren't ready for active duty without more training. Still, at least she impressed Bose. 

"You did it!" He praised her, confused as always when he watched the pencils roll in all directions. 

"I got this!" Miles boldly claimed, ignoring his special friend and pushing past his red-faced sister as he swaggered up to the man-baby, confident that he'd do a better job than his sister. He'd had his powers for longer, and whilst he wasn't brilliant at using them, at least he knew how to activate them. 

"Special delivery--to jail!"

"Uh, what?" The Toddler frowned as the strange boy placed a hand on his shoulder and his henchman's arm before disappearing in a flash of brilliant light. Everyone gasped at the spectacle, whispering and gossiping about what could've happened, but they didn't have long to speculate. 

Miles' confidence was misplaced as not a second later, he and the baddies appeared behind the counter - not the county jail. They'd barely moved a metre, looking stunned but unimpressed as his ears burned; not quite the hero he wanted to be since he'd just moved them closer to the cash register and food. 

"Oh, great! We're right next to the blended cake!" Todd cried in delight as (y/n) smacked her forehead, regretting not making her move earlier. It was too late now, firmly fixed in her seat as an innocent civilian - they wouldn't leave her sneak out now. 

"Come on, hurry up!"

The Toddler roughly pushed AWOL to the ground, the kid landing with a yelp and a thud, and Mika rushed to help him as the villains began to raid the café. Next, Chapa decided to try her luck, dashing into the middle of the room with an electric charge ready to go. However, she could do no more than make her fingers flare, straining to try and rain down some lightning, but it wouldn't work - just sparks. Glow worms in jam jars would've been better. 

When she finally managed to release a trickle - a mere zap of red electricity - it missed the cackling baddie by a mile, flying across the room to hit Natalie Mazdah in the arm instead. What a mistake to make: frying the coolest celeb in Swellview...

"Fill them up! Let's get some blended cake!" Todd ordered his henchmen, grabbing as many empty jars as possible to steal all the food now that those kids had been dealt with. Well, not all of them. 

Bose was the last line of defence; he was unsure of his abilities, but he had a go, putting two fingers against his temples as he attempted to make a blender jug float. It didn't look like much, but the jug was surprisingly heavy, jerking as it emerged from its base, barely staying afloat as the pressure built in his head. 

They frowned at the mysterious phenomenon, not noticing that Bose was the magician until Chapa tried again, only to zap the cash register. Everything turned into a shit show, making (y/n) groan and hide her eyes as the zap tripped the lock, opening the cash drawer to make dozens of dollars fly out--right into The Toddler's hands. 

"Awww, yeah! Free money!" He exclaimed as the waiters put their hands on their heads, knowing they were about to lose a day's takings thanks to these so-called heroes. 

"What are you kids doing?!"

"Saving--the day!" Bose grunted although he wasn't convincing. His concentration hung on by a thread, snapping when the blender jug peaked, only to fall on his head when he couldn't take the strain. It bounced off his skull, sending him to the floor - dazed and wounded. Wow, such heroes...

"Yeah, I don't think so..." (y/n) muttered, soothing Ellis when he fussed, scared by all the loud noises and angry voices. As a heroine, she wasn't impressed by their performance, deeming it an utter shambles. However, they had one last trick up their sleeves; when their superpowers failed, they could always resort to brute strength, AKA the Captain Man approach. 

"Forget out powers--let's just get 'em!" Mika yelled, prompting her friends, save for Bose, to charge at the villains, each taking a onesie-wearing goon whilst The Toddler gathered his stolen purées. Miss Danger winced as she watched, incognito, shielding the baby when Volt and her enemy wrestled a little too close. 

"Spicy--milk!" ShoutOut grunted as she assisted her brother, struggling to keep him safe as the man squeezed their arms. Despite their lack of brain power, they were a lot stronger than the children, quickly crushing them without the aid of Captain Man or Miss Danger--but the girl had a plan. 

"That's...not my name!" Chapa retorted, struggling with her opponent as he threw his weight around--more than she could manage--misunderstanding what they were saying. 

"NO! Use--the spicy milk!" AWOL snapped, and (y/n) quickly understood what he meant. She grabbed the carton left on her table and handed it to the short-haired girl so she didn't have to take her eye off the heavy, breathing a sigh of relief when she poured it over his head. The milk splashed into his eyes, temporarily blinding the goon as the spice stung the sensitive organs, his instinct trying to rub it out. 

With him squealing like a child, she growled and ran across the room to help her friends, the Macklin twins, as they moved just in time to dodge the tidal wave of spicy milk before she threw it at their opponent. With the henchmen incapacitated, shoving them out the door was effortless as The Toddler whined, stamping his foot at how they'd outsmarted his bodyguards. 

"Hey! No fair! Those were my best goo--" Chapa wasn't one for his wimpy tone, wasting no time splashing the final trickle of milk in his face, silencing the villain. His face screwed up in pain, looking like he'd sucked on a lemon as the crocodile tears started; he was, after all, a man-baby...

"Mooooommmmy!" He wailed, utterly defeated, after the mean girl made his face go owwie, and he threw the looted dollars on the floor in a strop. He whined for his mother as he stomped out the door toward his battered henchmen, dragging his heels whilst Danger Force grinned victoriously. 

(y/n) was impressed, clapping and cheering with everyone else as the kids slipped her a few bashful glances, knowing their methods were unconventional but effective. She didn't care, glad they'd held their own despite not having full control of their powers, and she stood up with Ellis on her hip to congratulate them. 

"Nice work..." she whispered to Mika as they brushed elbows, aware that no one could know they knew each other, but the praise was enough. It had to be the best day of the young girl's life; Miss Danger was proud of her, something she thought impossible when she was little, but now they were friends. Things couldn't get any better--well, they could for (y/n). 

"Well, I couldn't get the stain out..." Ray groaned as he returned to the café after missing all the action because he was scrubbing his shirt in the toilet. 

*imma just leave this here. for science. definitely for science. i mean i'm not drooling or anything*

The stubborn chocolate cake wouldn't come clean with some severe encouragement, so he decided to leave it to his sweet girl and her laundry wizardry to wash it out. But at the same time, he didn't want to walk around looking like a guy with a poopy stain on his chest, not when that had been her favourite shirt, so he went for the next best thing; walking out half-naked to rapturous applause. 

(y/n) felt her throat turn dry, and her mouth fell open, somehow choking on her spit simultaneously as she took in the delicious view of her husband shirtless, pecs, abs, and biceps on display for her to ogle. Admittedly, anyone could ogle, too, but she didn't care. She was speechless as the doofus emerged, thinking the cheers were for him and his impressive physique. Damn, was it her, or had the room gotten hot?

"Oh--thank you, thank you...I know! I'm huge!" He told the crowd with a cocky smirk, utterly unashamed at his inappropriate attire since everyone seemed to clap for him. His arms flexed and bulged as he puffed his chest out, a display of masculinity and strength as his wife sidled up to him, feeling hot and bothered by the view. And what a view it was...

"Doofus..." she mumbled, eyes glued to his bare skin as he turned and flashed his smirk at her, hoping he'd get this reaction from her. For everyone else, there was a look-but-no-touch policy. Yet she could do whatever she wanted, grabbing her fingers and pulling them to his toned stomach when she hesitated. 

Ellis cooed, gently smacking the hero's beaming face, but (y/n) didn't notice, too entranced by how freakin' sexy her husband was to remember anything else. 

"Yeah, sweet girl?" He replied softly, abs clenching as she trialled her fingers down to his belt buckle, unaware of the crowded room around them. It wasn't like this was a new sight, but this felt different, knowing the ladies around the room were eyeing her husband, but he was hers. 

"Sorry for...snapping."

"Me too," the man muttered, kissing her softly as her palm roamed the vastness of his skin, marvelling at how she could feel the thick muscle moving underneath. Maybe he'd go shirtless every day if this was her reaction, loving how her brain stopped working because of his toned torso. That was an ego boost, much more than the fading applause. 

"We just beat our first bad guys!" Mika exclaimed, subtly facing her boss and mentor as he tilted his wife's head back, greedily swallowing her sweet kisses. 

She couldn't associate with him, not when he wasn't in uniform, and honestly, she didn't want to, not when he wasn't in clothes either. But some praise would've been nice, especially since he'd stolen (y/n) and turned her into a mush-brained, thirsty dimwit. 

"Don't care--my wife thinks I'm hot..." he replied dismissively, curling an arm around her waist as she pulled away, breathless. It was embarrassing how he flexed his massive bicep for everyone to see; it was clearly a show-off. Still, she giggled and fondled it anyway, awed by how she couldn't get her fingers to join around it, and it was enough to make her tummy flutter with heat. 

She knew he was hot, but had always been this hot?

"Ellis!" But it didn't last. A panicked cry broke the happy couple out of their little love bubble, spinning around to see two worried men running toward them. They seemed to know the boy, and he smiled sweetly at them, ignoring his temporary caretakers to stretch his arms in their direction. 

"Daddies!" He exclaimed happily, giving them his adorable toothy grin as Ray and (y/n) frowned. Who were these guys? They were expecting a lady, thanks to Schwoz's genetic work, and the woman wasn't about to hand him over to two randomers. 

"Uh, hi, and you are?" (y/n) asked awkwardly, allowing one of the men to take the child without a fight, and he slipped out of her hold all too easily. Her arms felt empty afterwards, shakily wrapping around her body as the man not holding Ellis gave her a thankful, relieved smile. 

"We're Ellis' dads," he replied happily, indescribably overjoyed to see his son safe and sound after they'd lost him earlier on - any parent's worst nightmare. Ray frowned at the information as he laid a hand on his wife's shoulder, seeing how quiet and dejected she'd become. 

"Okay, but where are Ellis' moms?" He asked a little harshly because the math wasn't mathing. 

He wasn't conservative or bigoted, but he was a straightforward thinker, expecting to see the blonde lady in the photo, so these guys didn't make sense. Things had to be black and white, even if they just laughed off his question with polite smiles - like they always got this sort of thing. 

"I'm sorry?" The guy asked as Ellis tucked himself between their legs, wondering if this peculiar couple had been watching his son all day. The lady was nice enough, but her partner was weird, standing there half-naked and looking at them like they'd done something wrong. 

"Um, we were expecting this lady..." (y/n) told them, fumbling to bring the blonde's photo from her back pocket, and when she showed it to them, their faces flashed in recognition. Well, at least she existed. 

"That's Ellis' birth mother, Samantha. We adopted him," one of the men explained, and (y/n) nodded understandingly, realising that for all her wisdom and experience, she'd been a little close-minded. It took a moment for Ray to work it out, but then he shrugged, not forming an opinion either way. 

"She lives in Nova Scotia..."

"Great, well, uh, I'm glad this little guy got back to you. He's been a pleasure to look after," (y/n) nodded, knowing this was goodbye. She felt a little sad, which was stupid because Ellis was never hers to lose, but she didn't want to see him go. 

"Thanks so much. We can never repay you for keeping him safe..."

Ray stroked her lower back soothingly as they exchanged pleasantries, patting the little boy on the head and giving him a hug before walking away. He got it; he'd fallen in love with caring for a tiny human, too, but his sweet girl said nothing, looking straight ahead because she knew if she turned back, she'd burst into tears - mourning a life that never existed. 

"You okay?" He asked her quietly once they were alone, hating to see her bottom lip wobbling like that. She turned and buried herself in his chest, comforted by his soft skin as he held her tenderly, content to let her self-soothe for a moment. 

"Yeah, just...feeling leaky," she sighed into the cleft between his pecs, missing the toddler already, even though he was a nightmare, and he ate out their wallets, and he caused an argument, and he plunged their somewhat organised routine into chaos. 

Looking after Ellis wasn't easy, but she loved it, feeling empty now that they had no baby to look after. She'd finally found something she was good at - her calling to settle down and have a family with the love of her life - but it had been snatched away like everything else. Well, save for him...

"I'm gonna miss him too..."

"Eh...I think I'm just broody," she sniffed, shuddering when she realised she was wrapped up in a beefcake burrito, arms curled around her with his abs brushing her tummy. One day, they'd have their own, and it would be special, emotional, and forevermore. One day. 

"Keep feeling like that, sweet girl. I can't run around after them without you," Ray joked, guiding her attention to the squad of buzzing kids across the room, who, subtly or unsubtly, had been staring at the random couple for the last few minutes. 

They were fascinated by their nauseating interaction, Chapa and Miles snorting to each other that Captain Man was a simp, whilst Bose and Mika cooed. They thought it was sweet how much he cared but quickly snapped out of it when he glared and cleared his throat; Danger Force doesn't fraternise with half-naked men and their wives. 

"Uh, well, buddy, I guess this is goodbye," Bose sniffed as he stepped forward, having enjoyed having a baby brother for the day since he was an only child. He was the first to step up to the kid after watching (y/n/n) tearfully walk away - it must've been hard for her, given how she needed a minute on her husband's shoulder. 

"Goodbye, BrainStorm..." Ellis replied cutely, and (y/n) felt another wave of heartache wash over her. 

"Oh, my heart can't take this!" She wailed, clutching at her chest as she returned to Ray's embrace, overcome by his innocence and cuteness. He chuckled at her reaction, feeling a few tears sting his eyes as Bose gasped. Goddamit...he couldn't wait until they had kids for real.  

"Goodbye, ShoutOut. Goodbye, AWOL. Goodbye, Volt..." he said to all of them, making his daddies proud, and the kids melted as they waved him out the door. They'd never see him again, but parting wasn't such sweet sorrow, knowing that he was going home with two parents who loved him - just like the universe planned it to be. 

The café door hadn't even closed when a figure appeared behind them, her phone held aloft as she streamed to her millions of followers, all of whom wanted to know why Emma Watson was on a plane. Danger Force was stunned when they turned around to see Natalie live-streaming their interaction, capturing their proper hero names for the world to hear. Thank God. 

"And that...is the best thing I've seen since I saw Emma Watson...on a plane!" The influencer declared, touched by what she saw with the superheroes. The kids quickly gathered behind her, wanting to get in her video so her followers could see them, and of course, Chapa couldn't help but dance. 

That was when they solidified themselves in the history books - thankfully, the right side of history. Danger Force was officially known as Captain Man and Miss Danger's team, and Swellview instantly fell in love with them, offering their respect and devotion instead of humiliation and mockery. It was hard-earned admiration, and even the most hard-to-please people were swayed...

"Hey, handsome...lookin' a little lonely over here." A soft, sultry voice cooed in Ray's ear as he smiled at the tender scene, silently proud of his team for the first victory, even though he didn't show it. 

He'd been so caught up in their glory, thinking he'd maybe judged the kids too soon, that he'd forgotten about his nakedness, kept warm by his precious wife and how she was glued to his hip. Neither saw a brunette creeping up to him until she dared to lay a hand on his bicep, ogling the goods despite (y/n) clearly being on his arm. 

She looked like a glamour model, with soft chocolate eyes hidden behind a wave of mocha locks and false eyelashes. When their eyes met, she stuck out her lips in a duck pout, unabashedly trailing her gaze down his bare chest to where his happy trail disappeared beneath his waistband, undoubtedly picturing what he was packing. 

Her dress was nice, he guessed, black and curve-hugging with a slit up the leg--clearly a lawyer or some such businesswoman by her grace and confidence. A few years ago, he might've shown an interest, seeing that she was a beautiful woman, save for one crucial detail. She was no sweet girl, a vixen, rather than a kitten, which left a sour taste in his mouth. 

Ray Manchester only had eyes for his wife, and she was not happy. 

"Uh, excuse, but, uh, I'm right here," (y/n) told her sharply, hugging her husband's arm as the brunette gave her a bored look, unimpressed by what she saw. A plainish, average girl with nothing extraordinary about her except for the snot dribbles on her shoulder and purée staining her sweater - hardly someone worthy of the man she'd set her sights on. 

"I can see that. Now, run along, dear. Me and the nice man were talking..."

"Uh..." Ray gulped, feeling nauseous when the woman slid her hand up his forearm to his bicep, squeezing it like his pretty girl would, only he winced when her cat-like nails dug into his skin. He felt like a piece of meat, glancing at his wife with a clearly uncomfortable expression as he froze, not knowing what to do with the devil woman's claws keeping him in her clutches. 

(y/n) saw red, growling when she dared to touch her doofus when she, Mrs. Manchester, was standing right there. She assumed the woman had been watching his every move, licking her scarlet lips hungrily, so she must've seen them kissing and hugging, talking like a married couple. Which they were. 

She didn't give a fuck, pushing herself between the witch and her husband before shoving her left hand before her eyes, hoping the diamonds on her finger cut her plasticky face. 

"Back off, bitch. He's mine..." She snarled, feeling Ray's hands on her hips as the woman stumbled back, shocked and pale-faced, when she tripped in her ludicrous heels and bumped into a table. It would be a terrible shame for her to return to the office with purée on her ass, but (y/n) didn't care. 

She turned in Ray's arms and brought him into a passionate kiss, adding a little tongue for dramatic effect. She didn't care who was watching--instead, she wanted the whole world to see her marking her territory. Ray Manchester was off the market, his wedding gleaming in the warm light as he happily succumbed to his fate.

~

"What a sweet moment for ShoutOut, AWOL, Volt, and BrainStorm..." Trent Overrunder announced as he and Mary Gaperman sat for the evening news. And the night's biggest story had to be how Captain Man's team had redeemed themselves, going from zero to hero in one epic mission. 

They played Natalie Mazdah's livestream for the city, declaring them celebrities too. When they gathered in the Man's Nest, the kids squealed when they said the correct names - Miles, in particular, was glad that The Wing Wimp would never see the light of day again. 

"You can say that again," Mary retorted, unknowingly helping the heroic team since they needed the names to stick. Even though Trent said them once, according to Schwoz, Ray, and (y/n), the lucky number was three, leaving them on the edge of their seats as the report continued. 

"And I will! What a sweet moment for ShoutOut, AWOL, Volt, and BrainStorm!" The man repeated as his colleague grinned, acting childlike and adorable as she turned the utterance into a chant. 

While they hadn't made the best first impression of themselves, she loved the new superheroes--or maybe she was just following whatever Trent said since that's usually what she did. 

"Let's do it together!"

"What a sweet moment for ShoutOut, AWOL, Volt, and BrainStorm!" They cheered, completing the cycle of three as the team grinned. That was it; history had been made because they'd forever be known as their chosen aliases, not some unfortunate nicknames from a misfortunate accident. 

They whooped and fist-pumped the air before turning off the monitor, smiling over their shared popcorn and sodas. Mika and Chapa high-fived before the latter bumped fists with Miles; as usual, Bose was lost in his own world, but he was content, knowing the news was supposed to be good. 

"Now I kinda miss Gorgeous Hair Boy..." he commented as the others snacked on a bit of popcorn, trying to keep their eyes trained on the table since something was happening across the room that their poor innocent eyes didn't want to see. 

Ray and (y/n) were...together and had been since they'd returned from Hip Hop Purée, snuggling and cuddling like no one else was in the room. It was cute, but God, the man didn't let their beloved friend breathe, insisting that he had to keep an eye on her since Ellis' departure had left her a little droopy. But did he really have to be so handsy with his tongue down her throat?!

"I miss when Ray wasn't trying to eat (y/n)'s face..." Mika groaned, and they all glanced at the happy couple, relieved to see they'd taken a break from canoodling to rub noses. Still gross, but not as bad, even if he was holding her butt. 

It was their preferred spot for affection since (y/n) had a thing about windows and a complex about living underground, so they stood and admired the view--and Ray admired her. Although the kids had to admit that he never looked happier than when he was with her, looking ten years younger when she said the L-word. And no matter who listened, he wasn't ashamed to say it back. 

"No, I love you more, sweet girl. Have I ever told you how incredibly hot you are?"

"Maybe once or twice..." (y/n) giggled, her arms thrown around his neck as she ignored the aching in her toes, standing on them to reach his lips. It was a shame that he had to put a shirt on, saying that she didn't mind seeing the artwork that was his body all the time - literal eye candy - but it kept the trash away. 

At least she could see it at bedtime - the only woman to do so. 

"You two are disgusting," Chapa grimaced when they kissed again, repulsed to see her boss's tongue run along the seam of the woman's lips. She was her friend, and to see her engage in such activities--she was gonna vomit. 

Ray pulled away with an irritated expression, sparing them a glance before focusing on his precious girl again. He smushed her cheeks together, wondering if she was an angel in disguise as the irritation melted, forgotten about when she smiled at him like that. 

"Can't a man love his wife?" He asked quietly, petting her head and kissing her temple as they embraced, looking perfectly content to stand there, rocking from side to side. 

The kids had no argument for that, silently admitting that he was a sweetheart when (y/n) was around, showing that for all his silliness and harsh words when frustrated, he was just a man. And like any other man, he loved a pretty girl, becoming an idiot just so he could get a smile out of her, which they guessed was cute. Maybe. Secretly. They didn't want to admit it. 

But they supposed they could make an exception--just this once.

[unohanabbygirl]

Honestly I am very excited for Daeron’s debut in HIPS from the ways you’ve described him in some of these asks. Just the fact that he’s supposed to be the most Hightower of all Alicent’s kids but he’s the most staunch supporter of Luke because of what Aemond did. Alicent is the most rape apologist person we’ve got but then her son is on the opposite end of the spectrum. I feel like while Helaena might still speak to Aemond and love him despite what she’s gone through, Daeron isn’t having it. It’s fascinating how Daeron and Alicent were brought up with Hightower customs but it’s Alicent who wields her faith as a shield to perpetrate misogyny and rape apologist thoughts while Daeron is actually like this is terrible I’m leaving all of you & the greens are monsters. He’s going to want to actually kill Aemond once he gets to know Luke. Also I actually think he will be a source of comfort when Luke is dragged back to King’s Landing because he won’t be feeling the anger and betrayal that Rhaenyra and the others will be feeling and acting on no matter the horror they feel when they learn what happened. Excited! Let’s have one good man.

Separate question. It seems that once Luke returns to King’s Landing, you’ve implied that Aemond will be desperate to marry him in order to undo the dishonor he has done and that he believes it’s his duty as an alpha and Osferth’s father. How does he possibly live long enough for him to even approach Luke, or even voice these ideas? Wouldn’t Rhaenyra immediately kill him once she learns the truth? It seems like Aemond has been hiding from the Blacks once they win so it’s not like he has promise of keeping balance in the realm to protect him from Rhaenyra’s sword? It would be one thing if he surrendered and received his life in return but it doesn’t look like he did that from what I’ve gathered from another ask? (Though maybe I am mistaken) Also I really do believe that A LOT of lords would accept his death because of the crime he committed. Not only them but the smallfolk who suffered directly and indirectly from Aemond’s actions AND the leader of the faith would have condemn and want him dead because he assaulted an omega who literally a stand in for one their major gods. Killing Aemond would make a lot of people happy and one could argue that would stabilize the realm. No one is wanting this man alive once the truth gets out so how will it be even possible for him to even float the idea of marrying Luke?

Daeron being the one child who should be the most like Alicent seeing as they were practically raised the exact same from birth yet turning out to be the total opposite of her is my roman empire. He was raised in the faith, goes to pray at the sept daily without fail for hours at a time and takes those preachings to heart. The idea of hurting an omega in ANY way, but especially assaulting one is a crime so low that death is the only solution in his book.

Why he differs so much from his mother has to do with Otto not being nearly as much as an influence on him throughout the years as he was with his own daughter and other grandchildren. That man is one of the most callous and uncaring people, so not having to be around that rotten mindset every day allowed Daeron to truly take certain values to heart rather than just using them to tote in front of others because it makes him feel morally superior. But what I also want to add in is that Alicent being this way is just as much a result of being a female omega in a society that sees her as something to be used for personal gain (birthing children, marriage, sexual gratification, her looks) rather than a person. So I feel it’s a bit easier for Daeron to be against rape culture and patriarchal standards in this instance whereas Alicent was made to survive and developed a twisted way of seeing thingd. She sees r*pe as something thats an omegas fault because from her POV dressing modestly and keeping her legs closed is what saved her from meeting such a fate. Therefore anyone who claims they’ve experienced these things must’ve brought it on themselves for being “scandalous” or “acting sinful” Just another story of a victim becoming such a horrible perpetrator that her alpha son who actually benefits from these things is horrified that she and his sister would excuse Aemond for what he did.

Daeron X Luke is really a comfort in this universe. It doesn’t even have to be romantic or anything. Just the way he takes to Luke after all he’s been through, offering himself as a shoulder to cry on and a person to vent to when his family can’t see past their own feelings of betrayal is beautiful. Not to mention that he’ll be able to bond with Osferth. The kid needs to see that not all his family members outside of great-grandpa Corlys suck.

Aemond will become one of the most wanted men in Westeros soon enough, so him believing that he’ll even get the chance to approach Luke let alone marry him shows the true power of being delulu. But by the time news breaks of Osferths existence Aemond will have been gone for a long while, and during his self-imposed exile/search for clues he’ll learn how to lay low, be sneaky. That plus remembering the most hidden parts of the keep will come in handy…

I really want to say more, but anything else would be major spoilerss.

I can answer more Luke and Daeron stuff though 👀

[myhauntedsalem]

Lizzie Borden

Lizzie Borden took an axe, And gave her mother forty whacks; When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one

Shortly before noon on August 4, 1892, the body of Andrew Borden, a prosperous businessman, was found in the parlor of his Fall River, Massachusetts, home. As neighbors, police and doctors arrived at the scene, the body of Abby Borden, his wife, was discovered in an upstairs bedroom. A week later, Andrew’s younger daughter, Lizzie, was arrested for the double murder. In an era when women were considered the “weaker” sex and female murderers were nearly unheard of, the trial—and subsequent acquittal—of Lizzie Borden made her a media sensation. Officially, the case remains unsolved, but Lizzie Borden may very well have taken an ax and ended her parents’ lives on that sweltering summer day. Now, more than 120 years later, explore nine fascinating facts about the long-dead suspect.

Many people might have wanted to see Andrew Borden dead.

The gruesome murders shocked the community, but many in Fall River were perhaps not entirely surprised that Andrew Borden had met an untimely end. With a net worth of almost $10 million in today’s money, Borden was one of the wealthiest—and most unpopular—men in town. Frugal to a fault, he was a self-made man who had become the head of one of the town’s largest banks and a substantial property owner. The dour businessman had also made many enemies on his rise to the top, and rumors swirled that Andrew and Abby had perhaps been killed as revenge for Andrew’s shady business dealings.

The case revealed some skeletons in the Borden family closet.

The initial investigation focused outside of the immediate family and included local businessmen, neighbors and even the family maid, an Irish immigrant named Bridget Sullivan. Police soon realized that Andrew’s daughter, Lizzie, had as much to gain as anyone by the death of her father. Andrew’s tightfistedness extended to his own family—despite his wealth, the Borden home lacked even the most basic of conveniences, including indoor plumbing. Andrew’s remarriage to Abby Gray after the death of his first wife had soured his relationship with Lizzie and her older sister, Emma. The women, already in their 30s and considered spinsters by society, grew increasingly frustrated and resentful, with Lizzie in particular often exhibiting signs of mental instability. Lizzie’s actions in the days after the murders also raised eyebrows: She gave contradictory answers to questions and burned a dress that she claimed had been stained while doing housework, which police considered the destruction of evidence. On August 11, Lizzie was arrested for the murders.

The lack of forensic evidence played a key role in the case.

Despite their belief in Lizzie’s guilt, investigators faced an uphill battle in convicting her. There was no physical evidence linking her to the murders. A hatchet had been discovered in the basement of the Borden home, but its blade was clean and the handle had been broken off—by Lizzie, according to police. The police’s reluctance to use any sort of forensic testing also hampered the investigation. Fingerprint testing was then in its infancy and was never conducted as part of their inquiry. They did, however, establish that Lizzie had unsuccessfully attempted to purchase prussic acid, a highly poisonous liquid, in the days before the murders. Though investigators regarded this as evidence of an earlier failed attempt to kill her parents, they were unable to present it at trial.

Andrew and Abby Borden made an appearance at the trial

The gruesome nature of the crimes, combined with the wealth of the Borden family, proved irresistible to newspaper publishers. Miles of ink were spilled as papers around the world printed hundreds of stories describing the deaths in lurid detail, speculating on possible motives and even alternative perpetrators. By the time the trial began in June 1893, Lizzie Borden had become a media sensation, and the proceedings themselves took on a circus-like air. The prosecution, faced with a lack of forensic evidence tying Lizzie to the murders, surmised that she had perhaps committed the crime while naked to avoid leaving behind physical clues. The presence of the hatchet-riddled skulls of Andrew and Abby Borden shocked those in the courtroom, leading to a dramatic—and perhaps well-timed—swoon by Lizzie. In what turned out to be a key moment, Lizzie’s defense team successfully pushed to have her contradictory testimony at the original inquest ruled inadmissible. Lizzie herself never took the stand, and the jury of 12 men deliberated for just 90 minutes before returning a verdict of not guilty.

The famous rope jumping rhyme got it wrong.

Children who learn the chant may believe that it took 40 blows to kill Abby Borden, and another 41 to kill Andrew. Well, that’s not quite true. The coroner did confirm that Abby was killed first, but by 19 blows—not the 40 popularized in the rhyme. Andrew Borden received even fewer wounds, but the 10 or 11 blows that finished him off were quite gruesome, focused mainly on the head and completely destroying much of his face. So it turns out the nursery rhyme overstates by half the total “whacks” it took to complete the job. In another inaccuracy, no “ax” was ever found. It seems more likely that the hatchet presented by the prosecution at trial was the true murder weapon, but “hatchet” and “whacks” simply don’t rhyme.

Lizzie Borden struggled in her later life.

Despite her newfound notoriety—and her neighbors’ whispers about her likely guilt—Lizzie remained in Fall River for the rest of her life. She and Emma inherited their father’s estate, gaining the financial freedom they had long craved. Lizzie bought a large house in one of the city’s most fashionable neighborhoods and spent her time traveling to Boston and New York to indulge in her love of theater. Just five years after the murder, Lizzie was briefly in the headlines again, when she was accused of—but not tried for—shoplifting. In 1905 the sisters became estranged over Lizzie’s relationship with actress Nance O’Neill, which Emma allegedly disapproved of. They rarely spoke in their later years but died within days of each other in June 1927. Both sisters were buried besides their murdered parents in the family plot in Oak Grove Cemetery.

New information may still come to light.

In March 2012, the Borden case was back in the headlines when researchers at the Fall River Historical Society announced the discovery of the handwritten journals of Andrew Jennings, Lizzie’s defense attorney. The journals, which contain newspaper clippings as well as interview notes Jennings made during his pre-trial preparation, may yield new insight into the crimes. The extremely fragile material is currently being preserved by the museum before its contents are made available to the public.

[symphonyofsilence]

That Valar post… “it’s everyone else’s fault that Feanor is a dickhead who murders people over some jewels!”

OR

There is no: "Mom said it's my turn to be a dickhead!". multiple people can be dickheads at once. There is no correlation between people being dickheads. One person making their share of shitty decisions does not decrease the other's share.

For a situation to get that out of hand to result in a revolution and a mass murder quite a large number of people must have made their share of mistakes. And the Valar were the people who were in charge. If they were competent, one grieving man's passionate speech should not have moved so many people so much that they decided to rise against the gods and leave the heaven they'd been living peacefully in for years. And even if it was, if the Valar were really good leaders they should have been able to stop them.

True leaders show themselves at times of crisis and the Valar fuck up at every turn.

Though there is no denying that Fëanor had his own very large part of the blame for that whole mess, and indeed was the driving force and played the main role in it, the fiasco that was the flight of the Noldor was an unwillingly collaborative effort.

Even at his best Fëanor was not someone one could call a stable person, and after Finwe's death and the theft of the Silmarils, he had totally gone off the rails. I'm not trying to say that Fëanor was not at fault here when I say that trusting an unstable man who has just lost his father and gone mad with grief to control himself and not do anything stupid was not the best course of action that a group of divine entities in charge of ruling the world who have been around forever could have made. And maybe, just MAYBE, if someone has already gone mad provoking them further and fanning the flames by threatening them is not the best course of action. Again, expecting some supposedly wise entities in a position of management to have some skills in "managing" people is not the same as acquitting Fëanor.

If the Valar could only be good leaders when every single elf was behaving perfectly and one elf behaving badly was enough for them to totally lose control of the situation then they were not really good leaders.

And while Fëanor was a grown man accountable for his own decisions and mistakes, and his mistakes are his, there is no questioning that, well-adjusted people don't just wake up one day thinking: "It's a good day to do some mass murders." Usually, a series of unfortunate events contribute to someone reaching this point. Finding and recognizing the roots of someone's problematic behavior is not the same as excusing their faults. It explains their behavior, but it doesn't justify it. It's a study of human behavior that helps the society erase such problems so there'll be fewer people committing crimes.

[hlysins]

Here's an uno headcanon reposted from her old blog (deadlyshe)

Prior to entering the Soul Society, she was a woman who did no wrong in her life, given that she was not cast into hell upon her death. She entered the Seireitei when the land was volatile, and a man was seeking to have people like her join his ranks. However, before that, she inhabited the rukongai — spending most of her days between what would later be known as the 78th and 80 districts. It was here that she learned how to wield a sword; after all, it was necessary in order to survive such a lawless land. It didn’t take long before she named herself Yachiru — a warning to those around her that she was not to be taken lightly. Kendō was her specialty, and she soon made a name for herself as the most diabolical criminal in all of Soul Society due to her ruthlessness and ability to win any fight she engaged in. She taught herself these sword techniques as a means of survival, but the more she practiced and realized how life was more of a dog-eat-dof world in which it was either kill or be killed, the more her newfound abilities gave her true strength and power.

Fighting and violence were all that she knew; for her, there was a sense of home within the bloodshed that she caused. She discovered the way of the sword long before the existence of the zanpakutō or the need to carry around an Asauchi. During this period, she carried around an ōdachi that she had stolen when she first began her life of crime. Prior to Yamamoto seeking her out, she killed countless people, some for threatening her and others for no reason besides the fact that she could. It didn’t take long before she was known as the most diabolical criminal for her actions and the ruthlessness that she killed others with. She took whatever she wanted because she was stronger than everyone else. She saw no need for work with others; however, she was not above using people to advance herself further and to ensure that she lived comfortably.

One day, a man named Yamamoto came to her to join him. She wasn’t entirely keen on the idea the high and mighty nobility rubbed her the wrong way; however, there was a voice in her head telling her that if she did not join his ranks, she would one day be locked away (or at least they would try). So, she agreed as it gave her free range to continue doing whatever she pleased — searching for someone strong to fight. She strongly disliked working in conjunction with the so-called nobility; she greatly disliked everything about them and what they stood for. However, she continued to work close to them because she was free and able to continue on the search to quench her bloodlust. In order to continue to advance herself, she learned how to heal, not for the sake of saving a life but for the sake of prolonging the battle. It was there that she was born as both wound and warrior. She became both Yachiru and Retsu. A woman whose inner world reeked of death — and calling out her zanpakutō's name wrong so that the blade of death would become one of healing, the opposite of what its intended use was for.

She constantly sought someone worthy enough to dance with her blade in a battle of true strength. She found that in someone whom she would deem to be far more worthy of the title of Kenpachi. Zaraki was the first person ever to scar her. The first person that she realized was superior to her in strength. However, she would also come to understand that her own faults and weaknesses sealed away his own strength, which she blamed herself for. When she adopted the identity and life of Retsu Unohana, there was part of her that changed. She began to empathize with others and understand the importance of healing. While she initially learned healing to become near-immortal and prolong her own battles, she soon discovered the importance of a healer to those she would come to care about.

This, however, did not take the bloodthirsty and violent woman out of her, but rather it merely put it into a dormant state — occasionally revealing itself. She had a long time for introspection and realized that she was holding back Zaraki because of her own fallibility; he suppressed himself for her sake. That was something that did not sit well with her, but she was unsure of how to rectify it as her focus soon shifted from battle to healing. When she met Zaraki, she felt happy for the first time, yet her own happiness seemed to have an adverse effect on her successor as Kenpachi. Her old self was always present, but due to her own weaknesses, she felt as though she needed it kept below the surface so as not to stain her Division via her more violent tendencies.

During the war, she realized that in both physical powers and her abilities to heal everyone, she was not powerful enough to fulfill her duties — her duties as a healer and her duties as someone meant to protect Seireitei and those she holds close to her. This came after much introspection and listening to the words of those around her, and witnessing the chaos that was unfolding. Something that also came through introspection was that the power to heal was also power, and that was something she wished the 4th Division to know. She wanted them to understand that they were powerful in their own ways, and it took her a very long time to come to terms with this notion.

Once Kenpachi Zaraki joined the ranks of the Gotei 13, she, in her own ways, nurtured him to become the next Kenpachi — she wanted to pass down not only a legacy to the next generation but everything that she had learned over the years. She wanted to give Zaraki everything she had gained to help him become someone who does not feel as though he needs to restrain himself. She knew that in order for him to inherit her legacy and title, she would eventually need to die. For one of them to live, the other must die, and she had come to accept that the moment he had placed a scar on her collarbone. She had let her old self be pushed to the side in order to nurture the next Kenpachi, in order to give him everything that he needed to be prepared to hold the title of Kenpachi.

For Zaraki, she left behind a legacy of strength, violence, and carrying on the fight — she gave him the only thing she could, the title of Kenpachi and unlocking his true strength. For everyone else, she left behind the legacy of the 4th Division, guiding Isane to take her place by teaching her everything she would need to become the next captain. That was her legacy because that was who she was until her final fight with Kenpachi. She was a kind and gentle woman, a healer. She had two duties, one in violence and chaos and one in healing and compassion. Both were fulfilled, but for the former to be fulfilled, she had to die, which she had accepted a long time again.

[akane31]

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

This novel came as a bit of a surprise to me. Until now, I'd believed Frankenstein's monster to be what the world has made of it - a cartoonish idiot that stomps around and frightens people. It's quite depressing to think of when you're actually confronted by the brilliant and thought-provoking story behind the parodied creature whittled down to a tool to be laughed at.

The novel essentially delivers two morals we should abide by - that we should always take responsibilities for our actions, and that the nature of life, the nature of the world - shouldn't be tampered with.

Let's dive into the story. Victor Frankenstein is a brilliant student of natural philosophy and discovers a way to bring inanimate objects to life. He decides to reanimate a gigantic human form that he has put together himself (from human parts? From bones? The novel glosses over the details), but it repelled by the grotesqueness of the creature once it does come to life. He abandons the creature as soon as his experiment has worked, leaving the creature alone without another soul to care for it. A parent might as well have left a baby to fend for itself.

Let's now turn our gaze towards this creature. It's mind, like any new-born creature, is a blank canvas. After being abandoned, it crawld out of its hole in search for basic human needs - food, shelter and companionship. The former two he can find quite easily, but the latter he finds nowhere as his presence frightens people away and he is chased out of village after village. Sad, lonely, utterly alone and unaware of what he's done to deserve such treatment, he leads a wretched existence hiding in a hovel and feeding himself at night when he can go out undetected.

His hovel is connected to a small cottage, and through a hole in the wall he is able to observe the family that reside there. He learns everything about human nature from this family - who were fortunately kind, gentle and caring people. His unformed nature is moulded these observations - we see him in turn becoming kind and gentle. However his loneliness weighs heavily on him when he sees how the family care and spend time together. He decides to ask them to accept him as one of their own - but his plan backfires as soon as they see his physical monstrosity. They escape their cottage immediately and the creature is abandoned yet again.

Utterly wretched, he decides to find his maker to plead with him for companionship. He encounters many hardships on his journey which leads him to start to feel anger and resentment towards the world and most of all, towards his maker. Arguably I'd say his anger was righteous as his travails were through no fault of his. Society, it seems, could not look through his deformed shape to the kind and gentle nature within. So in a fit of rage, when he found Frankenstein's cousin within arms reach, he killed him.

He confessed his crime to Frankenstein when he finally met him and also told him of his unhappy life up until then. He pleaded with Frankenstein for companionship, for some semblance of being treated as a sentient creature with thoughts and emotions, but Frankenstein was having none of it - all he saw was a grotesque creature he should never have made.

I confess at this point, I started to loathe Frankenstein. This poor creature had faced unimaginable hardships all because of Frankenstein, and he refused to accept any responsibility for him! He even refused to make the creature a wife to ease his loneliness.

The poor creature's gentle nature was broken. Wretchedness, loneliness and ignorance would lead anybody to commit horrendous acts, and this is exactly what Frankenstein's "monster" does - he kills the rest of Frankenstein's family. The book ends with Frankenstein chasing him to the ends of the earth to exact revenge.