#ray manchester smut

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

you guys. i have seen the henry danger movie. omg…

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW GOOD IT IS??? also i will be discussing SPOILERS, so if u haven’t seen it yet DO NOT READ!!

okay first of all. DOOOOOOFUSSS!! it was so good to see ray again, speaking as a ray girlie. he was only in it for like what? 5 seconds? best five seconds of my life and omg he looked SO HOT. woof woof

but also jace? i’ve always preferred Captain Man but goddamn jace looked so fine in this movie especially in the shimmers scene in his open neck shirt. just chef’s kiss sir. i love our angsty boi although it feels like he’s only been in dystopia for a little bit and he’s already left?

interesting but i have no idea when the movie is set on the timeline—like is it after danger force?

i think the shimmers scene was my favourite. the whole movie is just exceptionally good like i enjoyed the thundermans movie but it wasn’t 10/10 perfection with the pacing and storyline. maybe i’m biased but henry danger was great. exactly what i wanted to see after the car crash that was the end of danger force.

the camera work and cgi and script are just so good. the writers clearly got the henry danger nostalgia and ran with it for us older fans whilst still retaining something young or even new fans. the entire hour or so flew by and i was smiling throughout all of it, just loving all the references and seeing all my favourite characters again.

plus, i think missy was a great character. sometimes the kids in danger force get on my nerves but she was just so sweet and funny. also her writing fanfiction just called me out. it’s like the writers were staring right at me - the smut writer lol

am i a little sad that charlotte/riele couldn’t be in it? yes, but they still mentioned her, so i think it’s fine. plus, they hinted at a cliffhanger that might mean more in the dangerverse (maybe another show like what they’re doing with the thundermans?)

overall i think they did the dangerverse fandom justice. they could’ve screwed it up so easily but it was such a fun, lighthearted thing and i really enjoyed it.

obvs i’m still finishing off the main story and there’s still two seasons of df for me to rewrite. HOWEVER!

will i be rewriting this movie with our sweet girl? hell yes i am. miss danger is gonna team up with her bby boi henry hart.

[gojosatoruhumper]

Kinktober 2024 day 5

Ray Manchester x reader | bondage

Prompt: After Ray finds out Henry’s mom has a single sister, he gets excited.

Warnings: bondage, kidnapping lowkey, cursing, dirty talk, slight age gap, NSFW

Not proof read, also a little rushed

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Henry and his boss, Ray, were standing in the Hart’s family’s kitchen, discussing business when the blond boys mom caught Ray’s eyes once again. It wasn’t the first time it happened, whether he would be Ray or Captain man.

He started complimenting her, while Henry watched the scene before him, getting annoyed. “Hey Ray, I think it’s time for you to go home..” he says, starting to push him towards the door.

“Henry don’t be so rude, c’mon Ray stay for dinner” “My sister Y/n is coming over too” Mrs. Hart said smiling, oblivious to the fat crush Ray has on her. “No no no, he needs to go” Henry quickly said. “Well of course mrs. Hart, I’d love to stay” he said with a wide smile while Henry sighed.

All of the Hart family (plus Ray) were seated across the table, talking and joking around (Henry and Piper arguing) until they heard the door ringing. “Oh that must be Y/n” Mrs. Hart stood up walking to the door.

Ray peaked over to see how the Y/n looked like but he never expected what he was about to see. The most beautiful girl in her mid-twenties, with the prettiest smile he has ever seen.

“Hi y/n” almost everyone greeted, except for Ray. “This is Ray by the way, Henry’s boss” Mrs. Hart spoke, sitting beside her husband while you sat beside the handsome man, smiling and reaching out your hand to greet him.

“Well hello, Ray” you said with a flirty smile. “Hello, nice to meet you” he replied, straightening up.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Ray with his charms was getting to you, hitting on you every chance he got. Even Henry was surprised he didn’t say anything about his mom even once. As you were catching up with Piper and her ranting about how she got 4 likes less on her post than one of her friends you felt a big hand grasp your thigh, squeezing it.

You gasp at the gesture, Piper thinking you reacted to her rant she spoke up “I know right!! I deserved those likes way more than her” she started talking again but you weren’t really listening to her anymore. All you could think about was the hand that was now going up your mini skirt

His fingers were getting closer to your cunt, heat spreading across your body. Ray was unbothered, praising Henry how much of a good job he was doing at Junk N’ Stuff to Mrs. and Mr. Hart.

You gripped Ray’s hand, that was now rubbing your clit, coughing. “I think I should go now guys” you said “I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow..” you said smiling while standing up, fixing your skirt. “You guys should come over at my place for dinner some day” you said, looking over at Ray.

“Am I invited?” he raised an eyebrow. “Yeah sure” you quickly replied and saying your goodbyes.

“Well I think i should be going too” “Have some work stuff I have to do..” he trailed off, having something in mind.

“Awh are you sure you don’t want to stay for dessert?” Mrs. Hart said. “Oh no, Im good. Thank you for the dinner it was so good” he said leaving quickly. “Huh, is something happening at your job tomorrow?” Henry’s mom asked Henry. “Uh yeah” the boy replied knowing Ray is probably going to do something stupid.

You were walking on the dark streets when suddenly someone grabbed you by your waist, and suddenly everything went black.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

You woke up on a couch, with Ray walking towards you. “Hi y/n” hs said smiling. “Ray? what am i doing here?” you said confused. “Someone tried to attack you and I saved you, you fainted” he lied a little.

“Where are we?” you asked sitting up, looking around. “At my place, I didn’t really know where you live, so I took you here” he said hovering over you. He had a noticeable bulge in his jeans that didn’t go unnoticed. You could tell he was big.

Flashbacks from dinner got to you, slowly getting up, closer to Ray. He was tall. Much taller than you. You reached up to his face, yanking his lips to yours.

“Ray, I don’t know what you’re doing to me but i need you right here right now” you gasped as his hands flew to grab your ass. “I have that charm on women” he jokingly said, pulling in for another kiss.

You both got on the couch, Ray already without a shirt on making out while he ripped off your button up, the buttons flying everywhere. You gasp at the cold air hitting your skin, which gets shut by Ray’s lips.

“I want you” you gasp out, gripping his big biceps. “Yeah?” “How bad?” he asks, hands going down your waist. “Alot.” you say as he pulls down your skirt along with your panties, throwing them somewhere.

Ray took out some kind of device “i wanted to try this one out for while” he said looking down at you, pressing the little button. On seconds ropes tied around your arms, waist and neck.

You moaned at the thought of being completely in Ray’s hands. He took off your bra with one swift move, smirking. “You like this?” “You kinky whore?” he asked, flipping you over, pussy out in the air. You felt a spank on your cheek, moaning at the feeling.

“How bad you want it?” he asked, unzipping his pants. “Really bad, Ray” you pleased, gripping your own skin because your hands were tied to the side of your waist. “Say it again” he finally took out his cock with the tip throbbing at this point, slapping your ass with it.

“Say my name again” he repeated. “R-ray please” you plead as you finally felt him push himself in you. He was even bigger than you expected. Tears started rolling off your cheeks, half from pain, half from pleasure.

He shoved his fingers down your throat, thrusting fully in you. “Yeah whore you enjoying this?” he asked, head falling back. “M-mhm” you murmured because that’s all you could say at that point

Every thrust he was getting all your right places, no man has ever done that. He flipped you over on your back, quickly pulling back in. He went up to your face, pushing his tongue down, almost choking you.

Your cheeks were now stained with mascara and dried tears as Ray went down your neck and tits leaving dark bruises. You started moaning uncontrollably as your climax was coming close, as-well as Ray, who had his hands tightly gripped on your thighs.

“Yeah cum for me Y/n” he said with lust as you came on his dick while he was still thrusting. He didn’t stop nor slow down at all, chasing his climax that was so close. With one last moan of yours he gave out and ejected into you.

He helped you get out the ropes as he put on his boxers on, flexing his biceps hoping you will notice. Let’s get into the hot tub okay?” he asked.

“How rich are you?” you asked half jokingly half not. “Don’t worry about it” As he went to the other room to get something as you stood up to look around.

It looked like a cozy living room, until you pressed a button and one of the door’s opened, revealing a lab like room with a bunch of monitors and stuff. “RAY WHAT IS THIS” you screamed surprised. He quickly ran over to you “Y/n you wasn’t supposed to see this” he quickly regretted bringing you to the man cave. But also for some reason trusted you, so he told you about who he is.

“My nephew is Kid Danger??” “When did that kid become so cool” you questioned, more excited about Henry being kid danger than being in a hot tub with Captain Man himself.

[a-pute11as]

it's just platonic...

word count - 3k | summary - flirty leila x oblivious r

MDNI 18 + - not smut but 18+ themes

leila had always been affectionate, some may even say over-affectionate, but you just thought that was the spanish side of her. every time she greeted you she placed a kiss on your forehead, or wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, often holding you like that for several minutes. at one point you began to think that maybe those lingering glances or touchy moments meant something, but you knew she acted similarly towards other teammates too, definitely not in the same ways but you knew it meant this was just how she acted. so every touch, glance, innocent kiss was pushed to the back of your mind whilst you ignored the growing desire from the bottom of your stomach. it was just platonic, it held no meaning. 

your days always started out the same, by purposely taking longer to get ready for training if it meant you got to have your usual morning interaction with leila. you sat in your cubby in the locker room, pretending to adjust your socks or pointlessly scrolling through your phone. Every time the door opened your head turned, and it was as if the room lit up when she walked in. 

“good morning princesa” leila greeted you, just as she did every morning, cupping her hands on your cheeks as she leant down for her lips to meet your forehead, “how was your evening? did you sleep well?” she smiled, beaming down at you, a smile that felt like rays of sunshine had taken over the room. 

it was just platonic, you reminded yourself. 

“si, muy bien” your spanish response caused the spaniard to raise her eyebrows, she had been teaching you small bits of spanish since you transferred just over a year ago after telling her your goal of one day playing for barca. 

“qué hiciste anoche?” she asked, pressing for another spanish reply, wanting to see if her lessons were paying off. 

“umm sali a cenar uuh” you stuttered before pausing for a moment, your eyes squinted as you thought of what to say next to impress the spaniard “con una amiga”, content with your answer, you opened your eyes again to meet her gaze. 

her reaction was to instantly squeeze your face in her grip as she quickly placed more kisses on your forehead, “you’re getting better everyday!” she said, her face beaming before her hands dropped and she made her way to her cubby, 3 spaces down from where you were sitting. 

it was just platonic.

your cheeks had flushed a deep red colour, you cleared your throat before catching the eyes of jill who was sat across from you, her eyebrows raised at the obvious effect leila had on you. you furrowed your eyebrows and shook your head at her, dismissing any speculation she could’ve been making. jill shook her head, knowing how oblivious you were to the targeted affection you received from leila. 

“you ready?” alanna said, stopping in front of you, completely snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“yep” you were quick to stand up, breaking jill’s gaze, alanna’s arm wrapped around your shoulder as the two of you walked towards the pitch. 

you had grown close to alanna after spending countless evenings with her, leila, laia and jill, especially when you first transferred. whilst you knew some of your teammates before transferring, the four of them had welcomed you with open arms, helping you settle into your new flat and manchester life. you and laia had bonded over being the younger members of the group, often ‘bullying’ the slightly older girls when one of them began to show their age. 

“did you enjoy your morning greeting today?” she asked, pushing into your shoulder playfully. alanna was the only one you mentioned your confused feelings to, she tried to explain that she thought leila shared those feelings but you were set in your mind of not believing her. 

“alanna it’s just how she shows affection, you guys are always walking around together, linking arms and everything” you rolled your eyes, continuing your walk to the training pitch. 

“have you seen her acting like that with anyone else?” she questioned, grabbing your arm and stopping you in your tracks. 

“well yes, maybe not everything but other things” you returned, shaking your head dismissively. 

she immediately rolled her eyes at your comment, “there’s no way you don’t see how she acts differently with you, she’s all over you, literally all the time.” she emphasised. “anyone can tell you th-“

“lans stop” you cut her off, “i don’t want to get my hopes up, i know it’s platonic and i’ve accepted that” you sighed, before continuing to walk towards the pitch, leaving alanna stood in the doorway. 

for a split second you turned around to see whatever alanna would be following you, however leila had quickly caught up to her and the two of them seemed deep in conversation. you brushed it off before going onto the pitch, ready to start your training session and forget about what alanna had mentioned. 

you spent the entire session pushing yourself as much as you could, ensuring every movement flowed perfectly and every attempt was on target. everything you had was put into the session.

“you did well, mi amor” leila said, her hand resting on your lower back as you stood taking a water break, goosebumps instantly covered your body at the contact, “are you excited to go out later for alanna’s birthday?” she asked. 

it was just platonic.

“of course, i’m excited to get a bit tipsy” you smiled, putting your water down as you spoke. 

“only a bit though, you can’t get too drunk princesa, even if we have a day off tomorrow” she laughed slightly, her hand now drawing circles on your back. 

“princesa this, princesa that, get a room” jill mocked, reaching for her water bottle and rolling her eyes. your eyes instantly widened and your cheeks went bright red.

“cállate, sabes que quiero compartir habitación con ella” leila spoke, aiming her spanish towards jill who probably didn’t know what she was actually saying. she spoke too fast for you to truly understand what she was saying other than telling jill to shut up and wanting something.

“oye leila, i heard that” laia announced, as she made her way over to the three of us. you were a bit lost at this point, not sure where the conversation was going and you could tell jill couldn’t really tell what was happening either. 

“whatttt? it is true” she shrugged with a small smile and a laugh. 

training had finished and you headed back to your flat, you had planned to just relax before you had to get ready for alannas birthday celebration but your phone pinged which peaked your attention. 

laia - what are you wearing tonight?

you - hmm something tight and short probably

laia - perfecto i’ll pick you up at 7

you - gracias amiga

laia - those spanish lessons are really paying off, you must be paying a lot of attention ;)

you - shut up its for my future

laia - sure thing nena

you made a slow start on getting ready, doing exactly as you told laia by putting on something tight and short. as much as you told yourself it was platonic, you’d never miss out on a chance to purposely catch her attention, especially when it came to what you were wearing. 

your attempt to slowly get ready meant at 6:55 you began rushing to do the final finishing touches, a knock on your door stopped the rampage you were on trying to find the right lipstick shade that matched your lip liner. you ran to the door, unlocking and opening it, not paying attention to the person standing behind it before running into the bathroom to finish your lipstick. 

“laia im nearly ready i promise, i need like two minutes” whilst you didn’t hear a response, you heard the door close as the person stepped into your flat. 

you leant forward over your bathroom counter as you did your lipstick in the mirror, focusing on getting it exactly perfect until a figure appeared in the doorway behind you. 

your eyes widened at the person staring back at you in the mirror, “oh leila, i didn’t see you there”, spinning around to meet her eyes as you watched her eyes scan your body up and down.

“you look… incredible” she mumbled, her tongue flicking across her lips. like clockwork, your cheeks flashed bright red as your body instantly heated in response to her words. 

“thank you” you smiled nervously, “you look really good” you added, taking a moment to take in the way her clothes fit her perfectly whilst her hair flowed down her shoulders. she thanked you in response, of course calling you amor in the process before leaving the two of you stood there in silence for a few minutes. strangely enough the silence wasn’t awkward, it felt comfortable and safe, even if your entire body was on fire.

but of course that meant nothing, because it was just platonic.

“are you ready?” she asked, breaking the silence, prompting the two of you to go down to laia who was probably getting tired of waiting in the car.

“uh yes sorry lets go” you smiled, she moved to the side allowing you to pass through. 

you both made your way down to the car, now running ever so slightly late, trying to ignore the now building tension between you and leila. 

it didnt take long to get to the dinner venue, instantly being greeted with a shot of vodka when you entered. you took the shot, winching at the strong taste, before spotting alanna and going towards her. 

“happy early birthday” you smiled as you embraced your close friend, “how’s it feel to be basically middle aged” you joked, playfully hitting her shoulder. 

“at least im not closer to the age of a child than an adult, so maybe you need to go do your homework and get an early night” she bit back, returning your playful shoulder hit. you rolled your eyes, laughing at the sassy response you were given from before stepping back to allow the others to greet her. 

you watched as alanna whispered something in leila’s ear, leilas face lighting up as she spoke before the two of you glanced over at you. you furrowed your eyes slightly in confusion before the two of them broke apart allowing both you and laia back into the conversation.

“you look really good, are you trying to impress someone?” alanna directed towards you, your eyes slightly widening as your brain tried to think of some kind of response to that question. 

“what? no i just made an effort tonight” you responded, shaking your head at her accusation. 

“especially in that outfit, you must’ve heard leila likes short skirts” she teased, her and laia both laughing slightly whilst leila directed a smirk towards you. 

the truth was you did, that's exactly why you did it, jill had relayed a conversation to you about things leila liked and that specific thing seemed to stick in your head so you decided to act on that information. 

“i already told her she looks incredible” leila interjected, “i think i like the skirt the most though”, she added, her smirk only growing. 

“no no, shut up, i just really liked this outfit, not to impress leila, shut up” you defended, diverting your eye contact from leila’s gaze, “i’m going to get a drink” you announced, avoiding the truth, before excusing yourself to the bar.

you sighed as you reached the bar, leaning on your elbows, your head into your hands as your heart felt like it was beating through your chest. 

“everything okay?” jill said, patting her hand on your head before standing next to you. 

you silently shook your head, before putting your head up to look at jill. “i think i need to get with someone, like anyone, i can’t keep doing this” you spoke, about to put your hand up to call the bartender over until jill grabbed your arm, pulling it down. 

“im not letting that happen, you aren’t the type of person to just get with anyone, we both know that” she was right, you wanted to feel connection and love, not just a random body pressed against yours. your problem was that you wanted a specific person, a very specific person, who didn’t want you. 

“there’s that saying umm erm” you stuttered, trying to remember the phrase, “it’s you have to get under someone to get over someone else, that’s what i need to do” you insisted. 

“can you be for real right now? we can all see you like leila, and we all know leila likes you back, how can you not see it?” jill rolled her eyes as she spoke. 

“i refuse to believe that jill, she acts the same way with everyone, it’s platonic” you interrupted her, trying to reason with her. 

“she’s literally been dying to ask you out but thinks that you don’t like her back, i know you’re wearing that outfit because of what i said, you want her as much as she wants you” her words had left you silent, not sure how to process them. “what is it going to take for you to see that too?” she asked. 

you shook your head dismissing her comment before turning to the bartender to order yourself a drink that had more alcohol content than you probably should’ve drank. it didn’t take you long to drink it, noticing jill leaving out the corner of your mind but not paying much attention to it. 

“nena come and dance, you look too good to be there all night” laia prompted, mentally pulling you from your daze and physically pulling you onto the dance floor. 

the alcohol had hit your bloodstream, you weren’t drunk by any means, or even tipsy, but compared to your previous state you had relaxed massively. you let yourself lose control as you joined laia and a few of your other teammates on the dance floor. it was like your ‘get under someone to get over someone’ attitude had disappeared and all you wanted to do was genuinely enjoy yourself, exactly as jill had predicted. 

suddenly a pair of arms wrapped round your waist from behind, “you having fun?” they questioned, their breath on your neck instantly heating your body, but you recognised the voice and the tattoo arms that had a hold on you. 

“of course i am, are you?” you questioned back, staying in her arms as you swayed in time with the music. 

“si, it’s been fun watching you dance” she whispered, only furthering the heat that was spreading across your body. one of her hands travelled down your outer thigh, clutching the hem of your skirt, “this is very cute, is it for me?”. 

you hadn’t seen this side of leila before, you were used to the touching, or the occasional cheeky comments that she would make but this felt like something else, you'd go as far as saying it seemed like she was flirting with you. whatever it was, it didn’t feel platonic.

her hands lay back on your waist as she spun you around so you were facing her, “i like this view a lot more”, she smirked, her eyes flicking between your lips and your eyes. 

“leila, have you been drinking?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows at the sudden confidence the spaniard had found. 

“not at all, i’m just tired of you being so oblivious to every attempt i try to make” she commented casually, shrugging her shoulders as if she was telling me her shopping list. 

you shook your head, "don't play with me, it’s not funny”.

she quickly looked around her surroundings before grabbing your hand, guiding you towards the entrance of the venue. you stood outside the front of the club looking at her as if she had six heads, confused as to why she’d rush the two of you outside. 

“do you seriously not believe what everyone has been telling you?” she questioned with a small laugh as if she couldn’t believe the amount of attempts it was taking to get you to realise the attraction. 

“no i -” you were quickly interrupted.

“i want you, more than i can describe, i’ve spent months trying to figure out if you felt the same and when lani told me you did it was as if nothing else mattered and i was so set on showing you how i felt. i’ve literally kissed your head every day for the past 3 months, and you just thought i was being friendly, when have you ever seen me do that to anyone else?” she rambled, confessing everything she’d been holding back, “i wanted to wait and take you on a date but you showed up tonight looking like this and i couldn’t stop myself, do you believe me now?”

you stood staring at her in shock for a few moments, everything you wanted her to say she had finally said and yet you couldn’t process a word she said.

“you like me?” you asked.

“yes, i really like you”

“more than friends?” you asked again. 

“well yeah, that’s what ‘i want you’ means” she answered.

“so it’s not platonic?” you continued.

“if that word means the same in english and spanish then it’s not platonic, i want to be more than friends, i want to show everyone you’re mine in every way possible” she clarified. 

“is this a good time to say i like you too” you commented, looking down at your hands, twisting your ring around your finger as if leila hadn’t just confessed everything she could. 

she closed the gap between the two of you, using her finger to raise your chin so your eyes were meeting hers, “it’s the perfect time mi amor” she smiled, cupping your jaw before pulling you closer as your lips met in perfect sync.

i guess it wasn’t just platonic then.

(blame any spelling or grammar mistakes on google docs xx)

[nylaboon]

REQUESTS

— in which a struggling writer begs for writing prompts

tags: evan peters characters, resident evil, diary of a wimpy kid, henry danger, assassination classroom, my babysitter's a vampire

note: pls give me a chance bro

Requests are currently: open

What I do write: fluff, angst, blurbs/imagines, headcanons

What I do not write: smut, anyone outside of the characters listed below, anything involving actual people (like actors or youtubers, for example)

Evan Peters Characters:

Cooper Day

Peter Maximoff

Alex (Adult World)

Warren Lipka

Luke Cooper

Max Cooperman

Resident Evil:

Leon Kennedy (RE2 - RE4)

Ada Wong (RE2 - RE4)

Ashley Graham

Luis Sera

Diary of a Wimpy Kid:

Rodrick Heffley

Henry Danger:

Henry Hart

Charlotte Page

Jasper Dunlop

Ray Manchester

Assassination Classroom:

Karma Akabane

Nagisa Shiota

Rio Nakamura

Kaede Kayano

Hiroto Maehara

Gakushuu Asano

Project Sekai:

Akito Shinonome

Toya Aoyagi

An Shiraishi

Kohane Azusawa

Rui Kamishiro

Tsukasa Tenma

Nene Kusanagi

Emu Otori

Mizuki Akiyama

Ena Shinonome

My Babysitter's a Vampire:

Rory Keaner

Ethan Morgan

Benny Weir

Sarah Fox

Erica Jones

written by @nylaboon

[louscartridge]

HENRY DANGER MASTERLIST

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.

 i try to make every fic of mine so everyone can read then despite their gender, race, and sexuality unless stated otherwise.

tw i will be writing about triggering topics such as eds, sh, and just angst in genral as they are rly big comfort fics for some people. these fics will be marked with ♡

smut will always be afab and will have its own separate masterlist.

danger force masterlist here

henry hart

piper hart

charlotte page

jasper dunlop

ray manchester (platonic only)

[5iyoomi]

> Henry Danger

Last Updated: October 13, 2024

Key: Fluff (🩷), Angst (🥀), Suggestive (💋), Smut (🌶️)

↳ Back To The Main Masterlist

★ = Dark Content/Read Warnings!!

— General

N/A

— Other

N/A

— Henry Danger

henry hart/kid danger.

pinkie promise [fic] | hensper - [🩷]

ray manchester/captain man.

N/A

charlotte page.

N/A

jasper dunlop.

pinkie promise [fic] | hensper - [🩷]

piper hart.

N/A

schwoz schwartz.

N/A

minyak.

N/A

drex.

N/A

frankini.

N/A

— Danger Force

chapa/volt.

N/A

miles/awol.

N/A

mika/shoutout.

N/A

bose/brainstorm.

N/A

[searxws]

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if you would like to send in a request, please go to the requests/questions box and type the fandom, character pairing, and reader gender. please also send a basic summary of the story you want to read!

please also keep in mind that i am only ONE person! i edit and write and think up all my stories by myself, which means if you send me a request it may take me a couple days! so please remain patient.

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FANDOMS/CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR

!- stranger things, all seasons;

eddie munson

steve harrington

robin buckley (female oc / reader only.)

nancy wheeler

001/henry creel/peter ballard (NO VECNA💀)

billy hargrove

jason carver

max mayfield

lucas sinclair

will byers (male oc / reader only.)

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- harry potter, all movies;

hermione granger

cedric diggory

fred weasley

george weasley

sirius black (marauders era)

remus lupin (marauders and golden trio era)

james potter (marauders era)

lily evans potter (marauders era)

regulus black (marauders era)

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- top gun: maverick;

bradley 'rooster' bradshaw

natasha 'phoenix' trace

jake 'hangman' seresin

robert 'bob' floyd

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- marvel cinematic universe;

wanda maximoff / scarlet witch

bucky barnes / winter soldier (yes i WILL write for ws)

steve rogers / captain america

natasha romanoff / black widow

pietro maximoff / quicksilver

peter parker (andrew and tom!) / spiderman

sam wilson / the falcon

(other characters added when i figure out their character and how to accurately write them!)

!- obx, all seasons;

rafe cameron

jj maybank

pope heyward

kiara carrera

sarah cameron

(will not be writing for john b i hate that mf)

!- glee, all seasons;

sebastian smythe

ryder lynn

finn hudson

santana lopez

brittany peirce

rachel berry

quinn fabray

tina cohen chang

mercedes jones

marley rose

jessie st james

mike chang

!- henry danger, all seasons;

henry hart (kid danger)

ray manchester (captain man)

!- celebs/ real world;

maya hawke

sebastian stan

chris evans

lewis pullman

mason dye

sadie sink

glen powell

tom holland

andrew garfield

taylor swift

ben barnes

grant gustin

diana agron

🌎

CATEGORY'S I WRITE IN

blurb

headcannon

full length

angst

fluff

songfics

the occasional smut.

🌎

THINGS I LOVE

phoebe bridgers

taylor swift

grant gustin

cory monteith

glee

the 1975 / matty healy

reading

writing

coffee

cats

history

pinterest

concerts

sabrina carpenter

mason dye

🌎

FAV ALBUMS/FAVSONG ON THE ALBUM

emails i cant send (sabrina carpenter) - fast times

i cant let go (suki waterhouse) - devil i know

stranger in the alps (phoebe bridgers) - demi moore

midnights (taylor swift) - lavender haze

punisher (phoebe bridgers) - moon song

bfiafl (the 1975) - im in love with you

🌎

SYMBOLS/EMOJIS

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ // ʚɞ // ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ // ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ // ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. // ╰┈➤ // ʚїɞ // ⩩

:*˚:✧｡ // ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ // *ೃ༄ // ୨୧ // ࿐*⁀➷ // ↬ੈ // ✩‧₊˚ // ଓ

✩•̩̩͙*ೃ // * ੈ✩‧₊˚ // ★ 彡 // 📍 // 🦢 // 🌬 // 🥥 // ☕️ // 🎧 // 🌎 // ༺.* // ↯ // ✩ // ✔︎ // ✉︎

🌎

all of my work is my own, if you see it published on a site other than tumblr under MY username and a message permitting the user the repost please report it and inform me. (reblogs are welcome and do not count as reposts)

business inquiries only! business inquiries include reposting permission , translation requests, questions, comments, concerns, and copyright matters

everrmoorewrites@gmail.com

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

[s1mpforeveryone]

HEYYY GUESS WHAT I NEED GUYS! I NEED SOME SMUT! SOME RAY MANCHESTER/CAPTAIN MAN DADDY KINK SMUT 😳😳😳😳 ANYWAY IM GONNA GO PRETEND I AINT POST THIS

[metricanxiety]

this place is home to us

Genre: smut. don’t be mad.

Pairing: phan. dan and phil. phil and dan. who else?

AU: Punk x Punk because I don’t see this enough

Warning: Swearing, sex, the usual. Top!phil bottom!dan

Author’s Note: send me asks/requests!!! I will write them!!!!! I need prompts!!!! also keep this out of the main dnp tags pls ty

Phil dangled his feet off the platform of the train, swinging them with the wind that travelled through the cars. He picked and bit at the skin around his nails. The bite of the February air stung his nose, making his already pale skin turn red. He could hear the train tilting, with the metals shifting against each other. Phil had nothing to worry about, though. These trains, this station, hadn’t been in service since 1978. These trains weren’t going anywhere.

Which is why so many young artists have chosen this location as their graffiti area. The orange color of the trains were barely visible, covered by the paint creating murals of masterpieces that the almost the entire public population of Manchester would never see.

Phil contributed to the plethora of pieces as well. Starting at fifteen, he’d sneak out at two in the morning and take the tube to the closest station to his favorite location in town. His safe place.

Not that the comfort of his own home wasn’t safe to him, the sweet scent of cinnamon and freshly baked bread was more than safe. His parents never rejected him of who Phil was, their son who’s only artwork that didn’t end up on a wall ended up on his permanently carved into his skin with ink, turning his body into his canvas. The art covering his body was his own, his favorite pieces, and his parents loved the meaning behind the symbolism too much for them to say no to Phil’s first attempt to get his first tattoo at sixteen. Which was, obviously, a quote from his favorite song by muse.

But no, the reason the abandoned station was Phil’s safe place, was because that’s where Dan was. At least, that’s where they always met.

Dan, Phil’s beautiful Dan. He knew Dan hated it when Phil called him beautiful, because his exterior was just as vicious and intimidating as Phil’s. Except, his fringe went to the left where Phil’s went to the right. Dan also had red dip dyed tips, with a tongue piercing. Dan was so fucking hot.

Phil loved kissing Dan and hearing their lip piercings clang against the other, tearing off his leather jacket just to reveal Dan’s black ink covering the length of his arms, going onto his hands. Phil was completely and utterly in love with Dan Howell. His only weakness.

Which is why he was sitting in the freezing fucking cold at the station instead of being in the warmth of his home, under his duvet with a mug of hot chocolate and Dan tucked into his side. Despite his scary exterior, Dan was quite the softy. He was the sweetest guy Phil had ever met, he had so much love, and passion, for everything he did. And god, was he so fucking talented.

Yeah, they met at the station. Phil was there last August, reading and doing his English homework, when He spotted Dan set his backpack down at he train ahead of him, and started painting. Spray painting. And the piece Dan made, well, let’s just say Phil had reserved a spot on his body that he wanted to ink it on.

Phil could see the ink on Dans shoulders, and his arms, because since that day was particularly hot, he could feel the sex radiating off his skin, and all he wanted to do was sink his teeth into his skin. Come to find out (about three weeks later) to make things even more perfect, Dan was a desperate bottom. What did Phil do to be blessed with this ray of perfection?

But Phil was totally pissed at Dan, because he said he’d be here at ten pm Sharp, and it was definitely ten fucking eleven at night. He was eleven minutes late, and Phil was freezing. Sitting in a giant metal box in minus I-don’t-fucking-know weather was infuriating. He tucked his leather jacket closer to his body, wishing he didn’t wear his ripped jeans, only wanting to have his old, baggy sweat pants on.

Phil could hear swearing, and coughing, along with the crunch of the gravel as somebody walked closer to him, obviously it being the person he was waiting for. He sat up, bending his legs slightly, leaning on his elbows on his knees, looking like he was in a more relaxed position, watching Dan jump up into the car of the train, with, as it looks, three blankets thrown over his arm, a beanie covering his scalp. His fringe was slightly curly due to the moisture in the air. And Phil couldn’t stay mad at him. But he wasn’t going to let Dan believe that.

“Fuck, oh my god, I’m so fucking sorry I know you hate it when I’m late, but I forgot the blankets so I had to literally run back to the house and grab them from my bed, and I barely made it on the next ride over from the tube.” Dan dropped the blankets, kneeling down and kissing Phil’s temple. Phil smirked up at him, raising his eyebrows. “Aw, c'mon don’t be like that,” Dan paused, seeing Phil stay with the same ‘disappointed’ look in his face. He rolled his eyes, flopping next to Phil and wrapping his arms around the older’s torso, nuzzling his face into his shoulder. “Your bitchy attitude is actually the reason it’s so fucking cold, I guess.”

“Not my fault you can’t keep time.” Phil chuckled, draping an arm around Dan. Like he said, he can’t stay mad at Dan. He loved him, after all.

“Oh hop off it.” Dan groaned, crawling over to the blankets. “You can freeze if you don’t forgive me, bitch.” He wrapped all the blankets around himself, falling over to his side, laughing at himself. Phil chuckled as he watched Dan roll around on the train car floor.

“What did you smoke before you came here?” Phil joked, crawling over, pinning Dan to stay still. He unwrapped the blankets from Dan, taking the thinnest one and spreading it down onto the wood planks. So they had something to sit on, you know, just in case.

“Nothing. You know my hookup got arrested.” Dan laughed, shrugging off his jacket, and throwing it near Phil’s bag. He was wearing his Ramones vest, that was old, the armpits of the shirt were stretched super low, and Phil’s breath caught in his throat, seeing the patches of skin under the grey fabric, Dan knew what he was doing. Dan wore that on purpose.

“Oh yeah, because he was the only plug you had in your contacts,” Phil rolled his eyes, scooting back against the crates that have been left in this car for god knows how long. Dan giggled, kissing Phil’s nose. He grabbed one of the blankets, draping it over the two of them as he flopped into Phil’s lap.

It made Phil laugh, actually, how scary and violent Dan looked, having all the tattoos and piercings, you wouldn’t expect him to be cuddling into someone else, rather somebody submitting to him. But this was how Phil liked it.

Phil traced the black and white roses Dan had tattooed on his shoulders, peeking up onto his neck and back. Anytime Phil went higher than shoulder length with his fingers, he felt Dan shiver, and he switched positions, trying to make it harder for Phil to touch his neck.

“Phil stop!” Dan yelled, he was fully laying across Phil’s lap, his knees digging into Dan’s back, his head thrown back, laughing.“

“It’s what you fucking get for being late, again!” Phil was fully laughing with Dan, leaning down and kissing him on the lips. But it wasn’t really a kiss, because they didn’t stop their fit of laughter as their lips brushed.

Dan sat up, having his legs thrown to the other side of Phil, like bridal style, kind of, wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck. One of his hands brushed Phil’s dark blue fringe out of his face, having a dark look on his face. “Maybe I can make it up to you, then.” Dan gave an evil grin, making Phil quirk his eyebrow bar. “Would you like that?” Dan pressed his lips to Phil’s jaw, and the cool metal of his lip ring made goose flesh spread across Phil’s skin.

Phil sighed, letting his eyes flutter shut. His hand ran up and Down Dans back, feeling how cold he actually was, but Dan wasn’t doing anything about it. The only thing that provided a sense of warmth was the blanket on their legs, which wasn’t doing much by this point. “Here?” Phil panted. He could feel the smirk against his neck.

“Why not? It’s not like anyone else is here. It’s dark out, and I love you. And now, apparently I owe you. What other reasons do we need?” Dan kissed his way all the way to peck Phil’s lips once, before waiting an answer.

“Condom? Lube?”

“Got some in my jacket pocket. What else?” Dan was such a fucking tease before they had sex, but the second Phil took authority, he shut his mouth. He was very quiet during, well, you know. Intimate moments.

“I don’t know, how about some fucking warmth? Babe c'mon, we would literally freeze our balls off, it won’t be a fun experience.” Phil tried to sound light hearted, but Dan was being insistent.

“We have blankets for a reason, and we’re going to warm up anyway. It gets hot. We of all people know that.” Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes. How could Phil resist.

Phil chuckled, rolling his eyes. He couldn’t believe he was about to have sex with Dan outside, in the middle of winter, on a fucking train. At least it was out of service.

“C'mon, please bubs?” Dan said, and Phil knew he was fucked the second he used that nickname.

Dan and Phil don’t even know how the nick name ‘bubs’ came about for them. Maybe it was short for ‘bubba’, or maybe it was a nickname of its own. They started calling each other it around September, and it just became a thing. But they rarely used it out loud, usually only over text. And Phil loved it when Dan called him bubs. He doesn’t know why, but it always just made everything seem more intimate, I guess. If a nickname could even do that.

Phil exhaled through his mouth slowly, his nose ticketing Dan’s hair, making it known that he was teasing Dan’s neck on purpose. He had a sensitive neck, sue Phil for taking advantage of that. He loved kissing Dan’s neck.

Dan let out a sound that was barely a whimper, no louder than a whisper, and Phil would have missed it if the wind had picked up in that moment. He reached up and pulled the beanie off his own head, tossing it aside. Phil tried to run his hands up and down Dan’s arms, to try and warm him up. They had barely started and Dan was already freezing.

“Are you cold already?” Phil asked, his tone gentle, and caring. Dan clung to him like cellophane, absorbing any type of heat Phil was giving off, which wasn’t much.

“I’m okay. I have a plan, kind of.” Dan’s teeth were chattering, and if you looked closely enough, his metal piercings could have been fogging up in the chill. “Can I, um, can I ride you?” Dan asked through waves of shivers. Phil nodded into Dan’s neck, making sure he felt the approval.

He pushed himself away from Phil, reaching for the button and zip of his skinny jeans, and undoing them as fast as the cold would let him. Phil took the opportunity to take off his jacket, and tug his shirt over his head. If Dan was going to be freezing, he may as well do the same. Phil reached for the other blanket, dealing it over his own shoulders or a layer of warmth, making sure the other one was close to Dan’s reach.

Phil pulled Dan close to him, kissing him with passion. They didn’t kiss like this often, where their tongue’s fought over each other, with their piercings almost getting in the way, but it was Dan’s favorite. Kissing Phil was amazing no matter what, but you could practically feel the electricity flowing between them when they kissed like this.

But they didn’t have the patience, or warmth, to take things slow. Dan repositioned himself so he was straddling Phil’s legs, their crotches right next to each other. Their lips reconnected, and Phil was holding Dan so close, he didn’t think there was any space separating their torsos. Since Dan was on top, he took the initiative, and began grinding his hips into Phil’s.

Phil let out a shaky breath, moving his hands to Dan’s hips to help him move better. He could feel Dan hardening against him, which only turned Phil on even more.

“Dan~” Phil sighed, bringing his lips to Dan’s neck, leaving sloppy, open mouthed kissed anywhere he could reach. Dan laid his forehead on Phil’s shoulder, giving Phil a better angle.

Phil never really left hickeys. The ink covering Dan’s neck would leave them barely noticeable, so he didn’t find a point in leaving them on his neck. He usually tried to leave them on his thighs, or abdomen, but tonight he didn’t really have the patience to do so.

Dan pulled back, bringing his hands to his shoulder blades, balling up the material of his shirt before yanking it over his head. Phil could see the bulge in Dan’s boxers, which made him want to move things along further, instead of just sloppy kissing and grinding.

He motioned for Dan to take off his boxers, and grab the proper supplies they needed, while he peeled off his skinny jeans, and underwear. The chill hit Phil quick, and it took all his power to not curl up into a ball under a blanket, and just forget about having sex. But Dan was fast enough that he didn’t have to do that.

Dan sat in the same place before, sitting on Phil’s lap, but this time the skin-to-skin contact made them hiss. This was always the best part, for Dan. Because even though nothing was happening, this was the build up. This was the start.

Dan remembered the first time they had sex, and he felt slightly like a slut for giving in so quickly. It was only three weeks after they had met, so they still didn’t really know each other. But Phil invited him over, and then Phil ended up kissing Dan on a whim, and that lead to well, everything else. But Dan doesn’t regret it. It was the start of their relationship, and he doesn’t know where he’d be, who he’d be, without Phil.

Phil leaned over and grabbed the third blanket, draping it over Dan’s shoulders so he wasn’t just out in the open frosty air. “You okay?” He asked Dan, kissing his collar bones.

“Mhm. Love you.” Dan exhaled, bringing the blanket around Phil (keeping it around his own shoulders so he didn’t freeze), holding it crossed at Phil’s back, making a little bubble for them.

Phil smiled, pecking Dan’s lips, whispering a 'love you more’ as he tapped Dan’s waist to get him to lift his hips up.

Phil grabbed the small bottle that was placed next to his thigh, squeezing a generous amount onto his fingers. Dan braced himself as Phil circled his rim, pushing his pointer finger in slowly. He gasped slightly at the intrusion, but quickly relaxed, making it easier for Phil to slip in a second finger, and begin scissoring.

Dan whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. His fingers duh into Phil’s shoulder blades, and probably would have left a mark if his tattoos didn’t completely cover the area. Phil kissed Dan’s chest, trying to help him relax, and the cool of the snakebites soothed Dan slightly.

"Do you need me to slow down?” Phil asked, pumping his fingers in and out, eventually bringing his other hand to Dan’s hard on, stroking it to distract him.

No, I, jus-“ Dan stuttered, he took a deep breath, starting over. "No. I’m okay. Keep going.”

Phil chuckled at how different Dan was during their intimate times, he was usually really loud and obnoxious, but the second their clothes were taken off, he could barely utter a word, only moving if Phil asked him to, or if he needed to reposition. It was quite adorable, actually, it only made Phil’s heart warm.

He added a third finger slowly, after a few minutes of having two, so the stretch was barely there, but still needed. Phil never wanted to cause any extra pain on Dan, because he knew it was painful enough bottoming.

Dan started nodding, lifting his hips more to pull Phil’s fingers out. Phil reached for the packet next to him, ripping it in half, and pulling out the condom.

Dan took it from Phil’s hands, silently insisting that he’s put it on for Phil, which he did. The small touches on his cock made Phil shiver, but not as much as when Dan poured lube into the tip, and started spreading with his hands, giving Phil a mini hand-job.

“Are you ready?” Phil asked, rubbing circles into Dan’s side with his fingers. Dan nodded, taking Phil into his hands, and lining it up with his entrance. He began sinking onto Phil, hissing when the tip was fully inside him.

Phil used all his power not to buck up into Dan, and possibly hurt him. Dan’s eyes were already squeezed shut, trying to take the pain as much as he could.

“Fuck-” Dan let out, bringing his hand back to the other holding the blanket in place. He let his head fall to the crook of Phil’s neck, panting. Phil kept making circles with the pads of his fingers into Dan’s side, trying to have him focus on that, and not the pain of the stretch Phil’s dick was causing. The cold wasn’t helping either.

Dan had taken a good two minutes to bottom out, and even then, he needed to get used to the full length of Phil. So they sat there, both panting from the pain, and pleasure, until Dan started moving his hips, slowly at first. He lifted his head up, pressing their foreheads together, before picking up the pace.

Dan moved his hips back and forth, gasping anytime he changed the direction. Phil kept letting profanities slip, because he fucking forgot how good, and how much he loved, Dan on top.

Dan gripped both sides of the blanket, bringing the other one to Phil’s knee, so he could lean back, get a different angle when he bottomed out again. Phil let out a groan, and Dan threw his head back in pleasure.

“Phil-” he exhaled. “Oh my fucking- fuck.” Phil assumed he found the right angle to be hitting his prostate, and he probably wouldn’t be changing angles any time soon.

Phil leaned over and started placing kisses all along Dan’s torso, bringing one of his hands between them so he could start pumping Dan’s cock along with his own movements. The friction made Dan shriek.

“Dan, oh my god,” Phil let out, which encouraged Dan to go faster, until tears pricked at his eyes. It was so good, and Dan didn’t think he’d felt this way before. But he was getting slightly worn out, from moving so much, he began slowing down.

So Phil started thrusting his hips, noticing Dan’s fatigue. Dan had sat back up, having both arms around Phil’s neck. Dan pressed their lips together, messily making out with Phil as he fucked up into Dan, both chasing their orgasms quickly, but not surely to finish them both off.

Dan was really confused when Phil stopped moving, and was lifting Dan off his cock, making him whimper.

“W- what are you doing?” Dan asked, trying to stay clung to Phil. He was always really needy during sex.

Phil ignored the question, ripping the blanket that was around them and tossing it to the side. The cold his them like a bus, and Dan hissed, hugging Phil as close as possible, his heels digging into the small of the older’s back.

Phil flipped them over, now laying between Dan’s legs. Phil sat back on his heels, Dans legs still wrapped around him, bringing a blanket over his shoulders, which was big enough to cover both of their bodies when he laid back down. He held up his weight by his forearms bracketing Dan’s head, leaning down and kissing Dan.

“Warm?” Phil chuckled, Dan nodded his head minimally, smiling. Phil helped himself find Dan’s hole, and pushed back in, slowly, but not too slow that they were both waiting forever for things to pick back up. Dan let out a noise similar to a moan, but it being quiet enough for it not to be.

Phil started picking up the pace, thrusting his cock in and out, both of them panting, and moaning, but still staying quiet, just in case.

Dan reached between their bodies, and began to stroke himself, the other arm hooked around Phil’s neck, pulling his head down to kiss him. Well, 'kiss’ him. They were breathing so heavily that they had to settle for breathing each other’s air, making their lips brush together.

“Phil, I’m, c- Phil,” Dan tried to form coherent sentences, but he couldn’t when Phil was hitting his prostate dead on, with his thumb running over his slit, he thought his eyes would roll to the back of his head with all the stipulation he was receiving. Phil knew what he was trying to say, and kept going, but harder.

Dan let both of his arms fall, bringing them away from Phil and his cock, and letting them lay above his head. He was caught in such pure bliss that he couldn’t bring himself to do anything else but let Phil finish them off. He blinked back tears, and as Phil his his prostate again, but even harder than the time before, he felt his gut knot up, making Dan jerk his body up and hug Phil as he came, coating both their bodies in ribbons of white. Dan cried out, as Phil finished himself after three more thrusts.

They collapsed, falling over after Phil pulled out. They didn’t push each other away, however, Dan was too fucking needy to do that. He curled into Phil’s side, breathing in his musk, kissing Phil’s chest. Phil ran his fingers through Dan’s hair as he caught his breath.

Dan, unfortunately, didn’t bring any tissues, or napkins, or anything to clean themselves up with, so they used Dan’s beanie to wipe off, he would just wash it in his next load of laundry.

When they had finally calmed themselves down, they both got up to quickly dress again, and would probably start heading home soon, much to their dismay.

“Will you just come over?” Phil asked, zipping up his jeans, and running a hand through his messy hair.

“I have work at nine tomorrow.” Dan pouted. It’s not like he didn’t want to go over to Phil’s, but he had responsibilities that he had to take care of.

“You’ll be out before then, it will be fine,” Phil persuaded. “I’ll set an alarm so you have enough time to run home.”

Dan smiled, nodding his head as he slipped his arms through the sleeves of his leather jacket. “Fine.”

“Oh don’t sound so disappointed, shit head.” Phil laughed, smacking Dan lightly. Phil threw his bag over his shoulder, hopping off the platform of the train car. Dan followed quickly after, leaving the blankets inside. Phil started pulling the metal slide, closing the train car. They always kept stuff in their, whether it be blankets, a change of clothes, or their paint bags. They had figured out how to open and close those things a while ago, so it was safe to do it.

Dan grabbed Phil’s hand, walking next to him as they left the station, and headed for the nearest tube entrance. It was almost midnight, so they didn’t have to deal with anybody staring as they made out the entire ride to Phil’s.

But Phil had decided one thing that night, it wasn’t the fact that the station was his safe place, it was Dan that made him feel thy way. Dan was his home, his comfort. Dan, who he couldn’t imagine his life without.

A/N like i said, send me requests, i will write them, PLEASE. also i wrote most of this on my phone so im sorry if there are a few errors, i will try to edit it later but im too lazy to do it now oops

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Danger Force Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1 Masterlist

| Status | Ongoing!

No one ever says married life is easy, which certainly isn't true for Ray and (y/n).

After finally tying the knot, Mr. and Mrs. Manchester said goodbye to Henry and their old friends and welcomed four new ones: Mika, Miles, Bose, and Chapa. The kids have spirit but lack the finesse of experienced crimefighters, needing Captain Man and Miss Danger to shape them into the superheroes they know they can be.

Easier said than done when you're outnumbered. Cue the mishaps, mayhem, and mischief in a new adventure for Danger Force.

This story is mature in places with adult themes and language and uses she/her pronouns for a female reader. However, anyone is free to read and enjoy :)

Main Masterlist

Episode 1: The Danger Force Awakens 

Episode 2: Say My Name 

Episode 3: Ray Goes Cray (SMUT)

Episode 4: Villains' Night (SMUT)

Episode 5: Mime Games (SMUT)

Episode 6: Quaran-kini (SMUT)

Episode 7: Chapa's Crush (SMUT)

Episode 8: Return of the Kid 

Episode 9: Mika in the Middle (SMUT)

Episode 10: The Thousand Pranks War Part 1 (SMUT)

Episode 11: The Thousand Pranks War Part 2

Episode 12: Down Goes Santa Part 1 *New! 25/12/24*

Episode 13: Down Goes Santa Part 2

Episode 14: Vidja Games 

Episode 15: Test Friends 

Episode 16: Lil' Dynomite 

Episode 17: Monsty 

Episode 18: Twin It to Win It 

Episode 19: Radioactive Cat 

Episode 20: Miles Has Visions 

Episode 21: Captain Man Strikes Out 

Episode 22: Manlee Men 

Episode 23: S.W.A.G is Haunted 

Episode 24: Family Lies 

Episode 25: Earth To Bose 

Episode 26: Drive Hard 

[gojosatoruhumper]

Kinktober 2024 masterlist

Day 1 | Back shots

Day 2 | Kidnapping

Day 3 | Wet Dream

Day 4 | Blood play

Day 5 | Ray Manchester x reader | Bondage

Day 6 | Gojo Satoru x reader | Sadism

Day 7 | Miguel O'hara | Bite marks

Day 8 | Denji x reader | Swallowing

Day 9 | Rohan Kishibe x reader | Praise kink

Day 10 | Bender Rodriguez x reader | Face sitting

Day 11 | Knife play

Day 12 | Black mail

Day 13 | Rafe Cameron x reader | Mask kink

Day 14 | Orgy

Day 15 | Hair pulling

Day 16 | Hand job

Day 17 | Squirting

Day 18 | Hand kink

Day 19 | Mirror sex

Day 20 | Threesome

Day 21 | Gun play

Day 22 | Thigh riding

Day 23 | Degradation

Day 24 | Somnophilia

Day 25 | Dub con

Day 26 | Edge play

Day 27 | Hate fucking

Day 28 | Impact play

Day 29 | Branding

Day 30 | Age gap

Day 31 | Stalking

I will write the days that I missed/going to miss in November!!!

[yeoldontknow]

As Still As Sound: Prologue

Author’s Note: i really didn’t think i’d start another series so soon, really i didn’t. but this came to me one night, and i feel like i’m going to scream if i don’t write it. this story is basically a love note from me to a lot of different things; some of it is personal, some of it is fictional, a lot of it is me doing something i never do and writing real, true love story. i hope you enjoy this prologue!

Summary: Two years after soulmate bonds are formed in our universe, and still the world is reeling from the connections. Everyone seems to be affected, except you. You seem to think you’ve been left out and forgotten, though you don’t really want a soulmate at all. All you really want is to be alone with your music…

O/C’s Spotify song this chapter: Blow - Ghinzu (music for each chapter will be the song the reader/oc/you is listening to)

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader (oc; female)

Genre: Soulmate!AU; fluff; angst; drama; sci-fi; eventual smut

Rating (this chapter): PG

Warnings (this chapter): references to threats of self-harm

Word Count: 5,024

METRO UK      APRIL 8, 2013

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW! FIRST UK SOULMATE PAIR DISCOVERED: TWO YEARS ON 

Anita and Wesley Goulding made history on this day in 2011 as the first couple in the UK to find their soulmate after the Era Shift. They’ve sat down with us today to discuss how they met, the struggles they endured in the early days of finding one another, and why they think the new soulmate process is a double edged sword.

Q: Congratulations on two years!

Anita: Thank you! It really doesn’t feel like it. I wake up every morning and see him, and I somehow fall more in love with him.

Wesley: I honestly don’t know what I was doing in my life before I met her. It’s been the most magical two years.

Q: Finding your soulmate is different for everyone. Tell us what happened to you both, as the first.

A: Well, I don’t think we were technically the first [laughs], but I think we were the first to find each other and document it in some way, or at least reach out on a national level to alert people that this was happening? But, for me, I woke up one morning knowing I wasn’t alone in my mind. I know that sounds terrifying or awful, but it actually felt comforting. I could feel him there, sort of at the side, all day until I was able to hear his thoughts.

W: Yes, I woke up that day feeling like I was warm. Warm sounds like a silly way to describe it, but I could feel her presence and it just made me feel good, like down to the core.

A: I think we went about two days before we could talk to one another. It was a constant inner monologue. I wanted to tell him everything the second I heard his voice.

Q: How did you end up meeting or finding each other?

A: We were quite lucky that we only lived about an hour away from each other. We suggested meeting in Bristol for the day because it meant we’d have things to do, and we could leave whenever we wanted if it went badly. He waited for me at the train station and when I saw him by the platform it felt like seeing the sun for the first time.

W: I was quite nervous meeting her because already I knew that I was in quite deep. To be honest, I wasn’t even thinking about if I’d find her attractive because I already knew I would. Everything about her felt right, and when she came off the platform it was like having my breath stolen from me but paradoxically, I could breathe easier knowing she was there and she was mine. 

Q: Had you been in a relationship during your time discovering one another?

W: No, and I think again we were lucky in that regard. We’ve all heard stories about people already being married, engaged, or in serious relationships learning that they aren’t soulmates. We were both single and I think that’s why we were able to surrender to the magic of it.

A: I don’t know how we would have handled it had we already been committed to other people. The pull towards him is irresistible and I have great respect for those who are going through that tough situation right now.

[…]

THE SCIENCE OF SOULMATES

Natasha Waters - Edited for Metro UK by Miles Kuyer

Before we begin, it is critical that some discussion on the historical context regarding the Era Shift is initiated as to better understand the complexities arising within the studies of Soul Searching, and the concept of the soulmate bonding itself. Furthermore, I would like to point out that this paper exists only as a method of summarising and categorizing what is known, confirmed, and defined in Soul Searching. New discoveries are being made daily given the tumultuous and varying nature of the science, and so I make no attempt to tangentially comment on, or speak to, what may still be considered hypothetical or theory as these are wholly outside of my qualifications. While there is little progress in the study of how soulmate bonding came into fruition (i.e. the direct connection between ion proportion and pheromone detection), there are many things within scientific circles considered to be true and founded, and my hope is to present these to the public to act as a definitive guide on the subject.

In July of 2010, two separate sunspots were discovered on the Sun’s photosphere, each with a diameter of approximately 75,000km in what was eventually discerned to be opposite magnetic polarity. Each spot traveled at the same velocity and propulsion for two days before converging on the photosphere as one critical mass event with a spot diameter of 160,000km. While it is normal for sunspots of this size to endure for a timeframe that varies between two to seven days, this spot endured for three weeks before resulting in a coronal loop. This became the first of many small solar flares across a six month period.

In September of 2010, two other sunspots were discovered in the exact same positions, however these only had diameters of 50,000km. They followed the same trajectory before converging into a single spot with a diameter of 110,000km. The single spot endured for one week before resulting in yet another coronal loop. 

In March of 2011, a coronal mass ejection of 1 × 10^25 joules was released in the position where the two sunspots had converged and decayed. This coronal mass ejection resulted in possibly the largest solar flare we had seen in three decades and reached Earth’s atmosphere in the early hours of March 27th.

Four days later, the first soulmate couple was reported on American local broadcast station Channel 5 in the state of Maryland.

Scientific circles have been able to connect the events of the solar flare to the discovery of soul mate bonding, and Soul Searching, due to the processes through which the electrons and ions were able to restructure neurological responses within the human brain. Through various methods of MRI and X-Ray technologies, we are able to state with absolute certainty that the amygdala has seemingly adapted to respond to pheromone triggers across long distances.

While it is still difficult to accurately discern which other parts of the brain have been affected, as the case study for this issue could undoubtedly be humanity itself - especially with each soul bond differing from case to case - there is confidence that the Reticular Activation System, Temporal lobes, and Limbic systems have all evolved or adapted since the solar flare of 2011. 

[…]

HE STOLE HER CAR AFTER SHE LEFT HIM FOR HER SOUL MATE

[…]

Tune in TONIGHT on Channel 4 to watch The Bond, the latest reality show from the makers -

[…] 

Two years after the Era Shift, many adults are still trying to adapt to the ways in which their soul bond will take effect. Not least of which are a group of individuals from Manchester who have come together as a support group after the loss of major senses.

‘I thought I was terminally ill,’ says Catherine Fisher, 30. ‘You really can’t imagine what it’s like to wake up in the morning and suddenly…everything is so grey. I’m still not used to it, really. My memories are all in colour, and I have pictures of events that I know are in colour but I can’t see them that way.’

Within the group, there are many, underlying feelings regarding the concept of the soul mate as a whole. 

‘We thought it was supposed to be for the betterment of humanity, you know?’ says Daniel Goddard, 36. ‘I was married to a woman I really did love and we have a beautiful daughter, but how do you tell her mommy and daddy aren’t meant to be together? And how do you explain to your wife that you love her, but it’s not enough? And how can you tell me it’s ok I can’t hear music until I meet the person I’m supposed to be with? I know people have it worse off, really I do, but it’s sh**.’

You shut the paper with a huff and rest your head against the wall of the tube carriage, turning the volume of your music up to drown out the roar. Once again, no Sudoku puzzles. The usual page overrun by redundant soul bond news.

Two years on and still the Era Shift seemed to consume the media, the public, the world. As if this was the only thing to care about. As if love was the only newsworthy event because the lack of choice suddenly made it exciting or mysterious. People falling in and out of love made the front page just as often as a world leader or the start of a new war, and both topics make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable in equal measures.

Love has become an irresistible force and consequently, the heart is now an immovable object. Logically, neither can truly exist. Logically, a love like this should be impossible. Choice of partner has been eradicated, replaced instead with a forced paradox of biblical proportions and you can’t find it in your heart to be pleased.

Some days, admittedly, you feel you may be too ungrateful or scornful. You’ve heard the stories of those who’ve lost colour vision, the ability to hear music, the doom clock on the arm that is constantly counting down, and you know, in some way, you’ve been blessed. Ever since the flare, you’ve felt no discernible or ominous change. Your body and your mind have belonged completely to you, always, never intruded on by someone else’s thoughts or feelings and for this you are thankful.

But you feel the same. Unchanged and unmoved, you’ve yet to feel any sort of connection to humanity beyond the basic framework of how things worked before, and you almost feel as though you are the only one who’s been left behind. 

You think you’re supposed to feel part of a grand design. Perhaps, you should feel an anxious sort of excitement that washes over you at whim, whenever you think about prospect or opportunity or fate. Instead, you feel nothing but a tepid neutrality that leaves you feeling bored and, truthfully, bitterly disinterested.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sensation of being watched…admired. The hairs on your arms start to rise in knowledge and slight discomfort, and you release a quiet sigh.

You remember when tube journeys were an anonymous, rather stoic affair. Not long ago, you felt like you could fade into the sea of faces in a tube carriage, enjoying the comfortable silence that came with the ride. Now, even with your eyes closed, you can feel eyes scanning your face, searching for some kind of trigger or shock that says she’s the one. Two years ago, this kind of scrutiny would have been impolite and in poor etiquette. Lately, you’ve grown used to it and occasionally welcome it. You’re starting feel comfortable in the disappointment and distraction, sometimes luxuriating in gladness that others are just as lost as you.

As the train comes to a halt, you open your eyes and stand to depart. It’s now that you see who was looking at you, studying you with a quizzical and fascinated stare. You smile brightly, though you know this will have little result. He’s handsome, handsome in all the right ways with broad shoulders and long fingers - a musician with kind eyes, you think, and you know you’d call him your type. He smiles back, but it’s sad - for both you and him.

In another life, you’d call this a meet cute. In another life, maybe you would have slipped him your number. Today, you are strangers and today you are not soulmates, neither of you belonging to the other for any substantial amount of time. And while he will forget you, moving on to the next pretty face to find the right curves and teeth and hair, you will remember him only because he was wrong, a mistake you could have made. And you know that you would have picked him, picked him and relished the disaster of it, had you only been given the chance.

Hesitantly, you depart the train as your heart says goodbye to a man who could have been yours, in another life.

The walk to the pub from Angel station is quick, drenched in uncharacteristic sunshine and tucked away from the busy high street. It helps you recenter yourself, finding joy in the smallness and simplicity of things. Life continues on around you and in the heart of the city, you almost feel as though nothing has changed. There’s comfort here, in the obscurity of city streets and you relish the sensation of being alone with yourself.

When you arrive, Kate is already waiting for you in a corner booth near the back, and she waves at you with an awkward enthusiasm, childlike in its nature. She’s radiating joy, it’s brimming out and over from her smile and into the room, and you’re blinded on impact; she’s even ordered you a cider. 

Immediately, you’re wary. 

‘Hiya,’ you say, shrugging your bag off and onto the cushion between you and the wall. ‘What’s all this about, then?’

‘What do you mean?’ she asks, airily. ‘Can’t I buy you drink?’

‘Kate, you’ve literally never bought me a drink unless it was my birthday.’

She looks down at her own glass, smiling with a warm sort of shyness you haven’t seen since you first met her. It’s unlike her to be so reserved or bashful. Usually, she’s rather frank, even to the point of sometimes catching you off guard with her seemingly absent sense of tact. This is unlike her. She has something she wants to tell you, but she’s afraid of your reaction. She’s afraid of you. 

‘I have some news,’ she begins, lightly. 

‘Of course you do,’ you say, softly, trying to ease her into the conversation. ‘What’s so important it couldn’t wait until after my shift?’ 

‘I bonded last night.’ 

‘Oh…’ 

Words live in your mind and die on your tongue, dissolving before you can birth them into the atmosphere. A slight chill has wandered down your spine, settling in your bones and dropping your stomach with disappointment. For a whole minute, you forget that your surprised sigh is the only sound you’ve made.

‘Wow, that’s incredible!’ You hope this exclamation sounds excited; you’re sure that it doesn’t. 

‘You don’t sound terribly enthusiastic,’ she laughs.

Anyone else, and you know they would have been upset at your reaction. Bonding is meant to be treated like engagement announcements of the past, and your lukewarm response would be considered hurtful and rude. But Kate knows you, knows everything about you down to your core, and she already expected this from you. 

‘No I am, really!’ you backtrack with a laugh. ‘I just…you were like, the one friend, you know? We had the shit end of things. And now I’ve got no one to complain to.’

You’re trying to keep the mood light, lacing your tone with a playfulness you think might have been found on single women before the flare.

As usual, she cuts your words down to the heart of your sentiments.

‘You have a soulmate,’ she presses. ‘I know you do.’

This really isn’t what you wanted, changing her announcement into a debate about you and your seemingly absent soul bond. Truthfully, you’re not in the mood to discuss all the ways you seem to be excluded from a newfound sense of completeness, so you change the subject to something that interests you more. 

‘Whatever,’ you say, dismissively. ‘Let me see the clock.’ 

Resting her right arm on the table with an awed expression, you lean forward to admire the purple-white numbers just below her skin.

23:04:16:17:04:22

Twenty-three years, four months, sixteen days, seventeen hours, four minutes, and twenty-two seconds. That’s how long it took her to find her soulmate.

Unlike many people who were fortunate enough to have a clock that counts down to finding their soulmate, Kate had received a clock that tracked how long it would take. You both found this to be one of the least helpful gifts of the solar flare, and, while it isn’t a major sensory loss, for a time you both considered this to be one of the most traumatizing. 

The morning she woke up and discovered a clock beneath her skin was the first time you ever heard her cry. She’d called in a panic, her breaths falling in quick, shallow succession as her words became mangled in her sobs. Initially, she thought she had been dreaming, but the burn along her flesh was far to tangible to be fiction of the mind. Then, she thought it was a tattoo and, for a brief moment, she felt comforted. But soon, she realized she hadn’t been out the night before and, probably most horrifying of all, the numbers were moving.

They were counting, upwards and towards something, and for days all she did was watch the clock. She’d skipped classes, sat in her bathtub and watched the way the numbers made the water drops glow. After about a week of trying to figure out what it could possibly be counting to, she threatened to cut the numbers out with a kitchen knife. Screaming over the phone, she said they were driving her crazy, that the numbers haunted her even behind her eyes. She was trapped and consumed by time, and if this was what it took to find true love then she didn’t want it at all.

This was her lowest point, her lowest, darkest point, and it’s difficult to have this memory, so visceral and clear in your mind, as you watch her smile at the thing she once so deeply hated.

In the grand scheme of things, you find this to be an incredibly short period of time: to change your mind about the clock, to change your mind about your soulmate - to find your soulmate at all. It’s all happened so fast, and you’re starting to feel left behind.

Shaking your head to clear your head, you lean back and take a large drink of cider. ‘So, tell me how it happened.’

‘It was in Covent Garden actually.’

Your laugh comes out as an unsurprised bark, accidental in the magnitude of its volume. Covent Garden is her favourite part of London. This story almost sounds romanticized and predictable. ‘Of course it was.’ 

‘Ha ha,’ she mocks. ‘He was actually coming out of Whittard’s as I was going down to watch the string quartet, and when I saw him it was…it was like seeing stars.’

‘Stars are just lights in the sky,’ you casually remark with a shrug. ‘They aren’t really that special.’

‘I don’t mean like a standard city night sky,’ she retorts with a roll of her eyes. ‘I mean…imagine whole galaxies blooming in front of you.’

Eyes wide at this statement, you almost choke on your drink. ‘Oh, so suddenly you’re a poet?’ 

‘Maybe I am, now!’ she laughs.

‘So when are you seeing him?’

Her response is terribly quick.

‘Tonight actually.’

Now you do choke on your drink. ‘To-tonight? That’s so soon.’

‘I know,’ she giggles. ‘But within minutes I just wanted to do absolutely everything with him. Like, even right now I’m anxious being away from him.’ 

Everything about this sounds like it’s moving impossibly fast. There’s no courting, no collection of texts to prelude an actual date, no time to actually get to know one another. Perhaps because you’re the only one without the tension and anticipation of emotional connection, it makes you terribly nervous.

‘Please be careful,’ you say, seriously.

‘He’s my soulmate, not a stranger,’ she sighs.

‘I mean he kind of is.’ Your voice is colder than you intended, so you soften yourself before continuing. ‘You’ve known him, what, twenty-four hours and you’re already in this deep?’

She narrows her eyes at you, and you can feel her frankness before she even opens her mouth.

‘You know,’ she says, voice warm but stern. ‘Not long ago we would have considered this standard excitement over a cute guy. I feel like you think it’s different now because we just know we’re meant to be together.’

‘I’d still be telling you to be careful,’ you reply. ‘Especially if he was just some guy and not your soulmate.’

She takes a long sip of her drink and furrows her brow. ‘Yeah, but he is my soulmate, so I don’t think he’s going to hurt me.’

‘I just have to say it, okay?’ It almost sounds like a plea, and perhaps it is.

Her features relax into an expression of gentle understanding, her lips pulled into a sympathetic smile. Today is not the day for arguing.

‘Sometimes I don’t know why you’re so hard on the soulmate thing,’ she says, changing the subject. ‘You know, considering your parents.’

After the Era Shift, most marriages began to dissolve and shatter as nearly everyone had somehow wound up with the wrong partner. There really wasn’t a single person you knew whose family wasn’t broken because of this, except your own. Somehow, when your parents woke up affected by the solar flare, they faced each other in bed and found The One, the one they had shared a bed with for 35 years. They’d spent the morning laughing, touching, and rediscovering each other, the bond only magnifying their love for one another. This was how it was meant to be, you thought, an awakening and discovery of what was already there. It rarely worked out this way. 

‘They were the minority,’ you clarify. ‘And their fate really has nothing to do with mine, you know? They had each other. You have a soulmate. I’m not even sure what I have.’

Kate sips her drink and regards you with a cool stare. She knows there’s more you want to say, and you know she’s already slightly exasperated with you. None of this is new. It’s a discussion you’ve had with her, and many of your other friends, for the past two years and you keep coming back to it like a crutch. You don’t really feel passionate about love, because you’ve been excluded from it for so long. Nor are you passionate about people, but you feel very passionately about free will and you can’t help but feel like it’s been taken from you.

‘Love is complicated,’ you concede. ‘It’s so complex and difficult, and people are always making promises to each other they can barely keep -’

‘That’s why soulmates are a thing now,’ she interjects, smoothly. 

‘Okay, but it tripled divorce rates because suddenly these people weren’t meant to be together.’ 

‘There’s every chance those marriages would have failed along the way, regardless.’ She tries to say it as gently as she can, but it still comes out a little bit callous.

‘Yeah, but not all of them,’ you say, voice rising. ‘Those people entered into a marriage because they loved each other, and some of them would have worked through their issues or weathered that storm because they chose to. That to me is more beautiful than just knowing things are going to be ok because some kind of fate tells you it’s going to be.’

‘I get that, really I do,’ she asserts in hushed tones, trying to coax you back down. ‘But I don’t think you’re counting the fact that you’ll want to choose your soulmate. At every turn, you’ll want to choose them. And no one is saying the problems are gone. You can’t have a relationship that never, ever has an argument, but it makes it easier to forgive.’

‘You’ve literally known yours for a day and you’re already lecturing me,’ you groan, though you can’t seem to hide your laughter.

‘It comes from a place of love,’ she says dryly, reaching out to touch your hand.

You regard each other in silence for a long while, and mentally you’re already preparing for yet another loss. Soon, her time will be entirely taken up with her soulmate. If you do spend time together, it will include a person who effectively turns you into the third-wheel of a nine year friendship. It pains you to see things this way, but you’ve lived through it enough to know this is how it starts and, though you are aware of it, you’re never quite prepared for how it ends. Several of your friends and family have coupled off, their days spent in a marital bliss unlike anything you’d ever witnessed. You know that Kate will always be your friend, but you know, deep down, things will never feel like this again.

Pensive and just a little bit sad, you glance at the clock on your phone and begrudgingly start to gather your things.  

‘I’ve got to head to the shop,’ you say, coming to stand and downing the last of your cider. ‘Tell me how everything goes, yeah?’

‘Will do,’ she replies, standing with you to offer you a hug.

Her embrace is warm and comforting, connected in a way you know you will soon miss. Pulling away from it is almost painful, but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her that everything is going to be just fine. You will be just fine. 

The walk to the record shop is short and what would have been a peaceful stroll is now consumed with thoughts of Kate’s bond. You don’t like to consider yourself envious, you don’t envy her clock and you don’t really envy the fact that she’s found her soulmate, but you think you envy her ability to surrender into the dream of it all. She makes it sound and feel easy, makes it sound like something beautiful and wondrous. Sometimes you think with your guard so high and impenetrable, it’s no wonder you haven’t felt any sort of change. 

Pushing open the door to Flashback Records, you’re relieved to see your favourite coworker standing behind the counter cleaning a record. You don’t often get to work with him, seeing as the market for second hand records is rather small. There’s been a slight influx of customers over the years, the advent of soul bonding seeming to make people nostalgic for the romance of tangible, physical music played from a turntable. Still, business is never busy enough to require more than one person on the till. 

‘How long are you here?’ you ask, sliding behind him to get to the employees only closet. 

‘Until about half-six,’ comes his reply, though he doesn’t both to look up from the record he’s cleaning. His blonde hair has fallen into his eyes, and he’s so focused on his task he doesn’t both to brush it away.

‘Nice. Looks like you’re stuck with me for three hours,’ you tease, nudging him with your hip.

‘Don’t!’ he hisses. ‘You’ll make my hand slip and scratch it.’

Rolling your eyes, you start to clock in on the till computer but you briefly become distracted. On the turntable in the back of the store, Chris has chosen to play something that sounds vaguely familiar to you. You know you’ve heard it before, perhaps with a different guitar effect or voice, but you know that you’ve heard it and you know that, at some point, it meant something very dear to you. 

Part of this doesn’t feel like a memory that belongs to you, but you’re fond of the song and the way it tells a story. All at once, you think you’ve figured it out.  

‘Hey, Chris, wasn’t this in Pulp Fiction?’ you ask, frozen in place at the counter. 

Even as you suggest it, it feels wrong. You know it was used in the film, you’re sure of it, but this doesn’t feel like the question you want to be asking or should be asking. The song feels heavier than a soundtrack, heavier than a memory of cinema or cult fan-boy connection.

‘This is Neil Diamond,’ he snorts. ‘How do you not know this song?’

‘I know the song,’ you say quickly, frustrated. ‘Can you just answer my question.’

‘This is the original version,’ he explains, though he doesn’t sound terribly interested. ‘Urge Overkill did a cover of it that was used in Pulp Fiction.’

‘Where’s the sleeve?’ you demand.

He nods in the direction of the end of the counter, and you eagerly reach for the album sleeve. With it in your hands, you get the passing sensation of slipping, like you’ve held this exact item in your hands before, or heard this precise version or sang it to someone important. You know that you haven’t, and think maybe what you’re experiencing is a prosthetic sort of nostalgia, a nostalgia brought on by a wish for a life you could have lived.

Closing your eyes and taking a deep inhale of breath, you center yourself and, as quickly as it came, the moment passes. You decide then that you need this song in some way, need it to be close to you always, so you pull out your phone and add the album to your Spotify. Truthfully, you don’t think anything has ever been as important as this song is, right here, right now.

It’s important that you have this song with you, tonight and for every tomorrow. Important that you make it yours.

[depressingpigeon]

a list of SXSW artists to sort through for my own reference

Ace Tee (Hamburg GERMANY) Aero Flynn (Minneapolis MN) Altre di B (Bologna ITALY) Antytila (Kyiv UKRAINE) Aries (Bilbao SPAIN) Automelodi (Montreal CANADA) Avatar Darko (Seattle WA) Bad Moves (Washington DC) Bad Pony (Sydney AUSTRALIA) Alice Bag (Los Angeles CA) Lee Bains III + The Glory Fires (Birmingham AL) Bajaga and Instruktori (Belgrade SERBIA) Baywaves (Madrid SPAIN) Benin City (London UK-ENGLAND) Dan Bettridge (Bridgend UK-WALES) The Bishops (Austin TX) Blackberries (Solingen GERMANY) Blood Wine or Honey (Hong Kong CHINA) Boogat (Montreal CANADA) Moses Boyd Solo Exodus (London UK-ENGLAND) Brightness (Newcastle AUSTRALIA) The Britanys (New York NY) Abraham Brody (Vilnius LITHUANIA) Marla Brown (London UK-ENGLAND) Buddy (Compton CA) C-Kan (Guadalajara MEXICO) Dylan Cameron (Austin TX) Fabrizio Cammarata (Palermo ITALY) Cape Francis (Brooklyn NY) Castlecomer (Sydney AUSTRALIA) ChihiroYamazaki+ROUTE14band (Tokyo JAPAN) CIFIKA (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Cilantro Boombox (Austin TX) Cirkus Funk (Cali COLOMBIA) C.Macleod (Stornoway UK-SCOTLAND) Kelvyn Colt (Bingen GERMANY) Coma Pony (Chihuahua MEXICO) Crumb (Brooklyn NY) Cursed Earth (Perth AUSTRALIA) Curved Light (Austin TX) Cut Worms (Brooklyn NY) Mikaela Davis (Rochester NY) Jarv Dee (Seattle WA) Helena Deland (Montreal CANADA) Deluxe (Aix-En-Provence FRANCE) Dirgahayu (Kuala Lumpur MALAYSIA) Stella Donnelly (Fremantle AUSTRALIA) Keelan Donovan (Portland ME) Joey Dosik (Los Angeles CA) Draper (London UK-ENGLAND) DYGL (Tokyo JAPAN) El Otro Borges (Buenos Aires ARGENTINA) El Otro Grupo (Santa Marta COLOMBIA) Farina (Medellin COLOMBIA) Fatai (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) FAVX (Madrid SPAIN) Charlie Faye & The Fayettes (Austin TX) Ruby Fields (Cronulla AUSTRALIA) Fis and Rob Thorne (Palmerston North NEW ZEALAND) The Fish Police (London UK-ENGLAND) Flyte (London UK-ENGLAND) The Foreign Resort (Copenhagen DENMARK) Forever (Montreal CANADA) FOXTRAX (New York NY) Francobollo (London UK-ENGLAND) Freedom Hawk (Virginia Beach VA) Fuglar (Santiago CHILE) GANGES (Madrid SPAIN) Gang of Youths (Sydney AUSTRALIA) Nubya Garcia (London UK-ENGLAND) Samantha Glass (Madison WI) William Harries Graham (Austin TX) Grand Analog (Toronto CANADA) Grandchildren (Philadelphia PA) Greenbeard (Austin TX) Grim Streaker (Brooklyn NY) Grupo Rebolu (Colombia NY) Gulfer (Montreal CANADA) Gurr (Berlin GERMANY) Sinead Harnett (London UK-ENGLAND) Hatchie (Brisbane AUSTRALIA) Hater (Malmo SWEDEN) Ashley Henry Trio (London UK-ENGLAND) Higher Brothers (Chengdu CHINA) The Homesick (Dokkum NETHERLANDS) Honduras (Brooklyn NY) Warren Hood (Austin TX) Husky Loops (London UK-ENGLAND) HUXLEE (Los Angeles CA) IAMDDB (Manchester UK-ENGLAND) Izzy True (Trumansburg NY) Jade Imagine (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Joji (Tokyo JAPAN) JP The Wavy (Tokyo JAPAN) Keith Ape (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Sarah Klang (Gothenburg SWEDEN) La Banda Morisca (Andalucía SPAIN) Manu Lanvin (Lyon FRANCE) Leather Girls (Austin TX) Luna Lee (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Lethal Bizzle (London UK-ENGLAND) Benji Lewis (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Dean Lewis (Sydney AUSTRALIA) LNG/SHT (Cancun MEXICO) Los Wilds (Madrid SPAIN) Lolo Lovina (Sydney AUSTRALIA) Luneta Mágica (Manaus BRAZIL) The Magnettes (Pajala SWEDEN) Manatee Commune (Seattle WA) Mannequin Pussy (Philadelphia PA) Maréh (Cali COLOMBIA) MARLENE (Stockholm SWEDEN) Anna McClellan (Brooklyn NY) MC Lars (Berkeley CA) Melo Makes Music (Chicago IL) Milk & Bone (Montreal CANADA) Miqui Brightside (DJset) (Madrid SPAIN) Mogli (Hamburg GERMANY) Mothership (Dallas TX) Museless (Barcelona SPAIN) My Life as Ali Thomas (Bangkok THAILAND) Hans Nayna (Mahebourg MAURITIUS) Night Beats (Austin TX) Not3s (Hackney UK-ENGLAND) No Vacation (San Francisco CA) October (Auckland NEW ZEALAND) Nnamdi Ogbonnaya (Chicago IL) Okey Dokey (Nashville TN) ONR (Glasgow UK-SCOTLAND) The Orielles (Halifax UK-ENGLAND) Our Girl (London UK-ENGLAND) The Outer Vibe (Nashville TN) The Outfit, TX (Dallas TX) Jay Park (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Partner (Windsor CANADA) Peach Pit (Vancouver CANADA) Sloan Peterson (Sydney AUSTRALIA) pH-1 (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Phe Reds (Seattle WA) Sara Pi (Barcelona SPAIN) Plastic Picnic (Brooklyn NY) pronoun (Brooklyn NY) Punjabtronix (Bristol UK-ENGLAND) Oliver Rajamani (Austin TX) David Ramirez (Austin TX) Rancho Aparte (Quibdó COLOMBIA) Ratboys (Chicago IL) Gemma Ray (Berlin GERMANY) Lou Rebecca (Paris FRANCE) *repeat repeat (Nashville TN) Jess Ribeiro (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Rich Chigga (Jakarta INDONESIA) R.LUM.R. (Nashville TN) Lucy Rose (London UK-ENGLAND) Rude Kid (London UK-ENGLAND) RVG (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Salem’s Bend (Los Angeles CA) Sammus (Ithaca NY) sarasara (Lille FRANCE) Sassy 009 (Oslo NORWAY) Say Sue Me (Busan SOUTH KOREA) Ed Schrader’s Music Beat (Baltimore MD) Shamir (Las Vegas NV) Shopping (London UK-ENGLAND) Sik-k (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Silibrina (São Paulo BRAZIL) Raz Simone (Seattle WA) Smut (Cincinnati OH) Snail Mail (Baltimore MD) Sonars (Bergamo ITALY) SPORTS (Philadelphia PA) SsingSsing (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) Steak (London UK-ENGLAND) Stefflon Don (London UK-ENGLAND) Stonefield (Macedon Ranges AUSTRALIA) Sturle Dagsland (Stavanger NORWAY) Sun Seeker (Nashville TN) Surfbort (Brooklyn NY) Surma (Leiria PORTUGAL) Talisco (Paris FRANCE) Tennis System (Los Angeles CA) Terry vs. Tori (Seville SPAIN) Theodore (Athens GREECE) TiKA (Toronto CANADA) Adam Torres (Austin TX) Totally Mild (Melbourne AUSTRALIA) Touts (Derry UK-N. IRELAND) Uni (New York NY) Us and Us Only (Baltimore MD) Dhruv Visvanath (New Delhi INDIA) VOWWS (Los Angeles CA) Voyager (Perth AUSTRALIA) VVV (Austin TX) Warbly Jets (Los Angeles CA) The Watchers (San Francisco CA) The Weather Station (Toronto CANADA) The Wedding Present (Leeds UK-ENGLAND) Jerry Williams (Portsmouth UK-ENGLAND) Marlon Williams (Christchurch NEW ZEALAND) Wo Fat (Dallas TX) Woodie GoChild (Seoul SOUTH KOREA) “World Music Unleashed” by SIPM (Austin TX) Yemen Blues (Tel Aviv ISRAEL) Yultron (Los Angeles CA) Yungen (London UK-ENGLAND) The Zephyr Bones (Barcelona SPAIN) Violetta Zironi (Reggio Emilia ITALY)

[girlwsoftsound]

A Model of Beauty || George Daniel Oneshot

Word Count: 1,893 Warnings: Smut & oodles of fluff. Summary: You are insecure & self-conscious of your body, which has led you to shy away from sex with George. Tired of keeping this hidden, you are ready to admit your fears and let George prove Author’s Note: Hope you guys like this little piece, it was really sweet to write <3 Also, be sure to throw in a like or comment if you liked it! I love seeing feedback from you all. Please feel free to read my other work here! Enjoy!  

You had always felt slightly insecure.

It was not like you were not beautiful. Curves were nothing to be ashamed of, and in all honesty you rocked them better than most. But, you saw the kinds of girls the boys were accustomed to. Sure, they were all lovely girls, but one thing stood true about them: they were all skinnier than you. Even though they all told you how beautiful you were, your mind heard their words as a lie. How could you compare to girls who, legitimately, came straight out of a magazine?

To say the whole situation inhibited your life was far from a stretch. Dating George Daniel, the more rustic and conventionally hot of the foursome from Manchester, should have brought you tons of fun. It did, but not in the way people would think. You loved everything about George, and you cherished the time you spent at his side. But, you found yourself unable to make love with George. You told him it was because you were old fashioned and wanted to take things slow, which the precious boy took understandingly and respectfully like a gentleman, but it was all a lie. You had gone much faster with guys in the past, some even on the first date. In reality, you were terrified that he would see you, naked and vulnerable before his eyes, and leave in disgust. The last thing you wanted was to scare him away. The fear was strong enough that you kept up your old fashioned nature as long as you could.

The issue was, things between you and George were heating up, and fast. Two months after confessing your love for each other, and nearly a year and a half after agreeing to be a couple, you both could feel the need for more. George would try to drop subtle hints about it, though nothing was subtle about the boy. He would lay down in the bed in only his boxer briefs, ushering you to join him at his side and kissing you sweetly to try and coax you into a mood. He dropped words here and there of you being gorgeous, and how he could not wait to finally make you feel as on top of the world as he did when he caught sight of you. Those words and hints should have made you feel comfortable that he wouldn’t leave, that he was ready to see you and love you fully, but they didn’t. You remained worried and afraid, distant and reluctant. George would never let it show because of his love for you, but it bothered him. You knew it did. It ate at you all the time.

One day, you could not take the crushing feeling anymore. You were tired of feeling like you were holding your relationship back, and you were tired of lying to George. Tears falling down your face out of fear and hands clammy, you marched yourself into the bedroom where George lay, boxer briefs and all, and sat at his feet. Concern was all over his features. You knew he hated seeing you upset, but you had to let it out. You were tired of hiding. Finding your voice, you spoke up.

“I’m afraid,” you said, soft and vulnerable, “that if we have sex, you’re not going to be happy with what you see.”

“Wha-”

You put a finger to his lips. “I’m not perfect. I’m not super thin, I don’t have flawless skin, I’m not firm in the arms or legs or anything really. I’m so different to what you’ve had in the past, and just...I don’t want to disappoint you. I feel like I would. That’s why I haven’t been accepting any of your advances. I’m so worried I won’t be what you want, what you need-”

It was George’s turn to silence you. His lips took to yours, capturing your fears and taking them away as they moved against you. He pulled away while taking away the tears from your cheeks. “I could never be disappointed in you that way, {Y/N}. Sure, you are not like my exes, but...there’s a reason they are my exes and you are here, love. They weren’t what I needed. They weren’t the same type of beautiful, inside and out, that you are. God, I get chills seeing you sometimes. You are fucking beautiful to me. I promise you, I would never see you as anything but that way.”

“You sure?”

Leaning in for another kiss, George nodded. “Positive.”

He moved forward and brought your lips back on his, his hand moving to your cheek to keep you from distancing yourself. Butterflies made their way to your stomach as you moved against him. Your heart raced at his touch, his hands moving carefully to your hips and holding you there. Though he seemed still willing and excited to explore you, you still feared the worst. You feared him pulling away, not finding your hips slim enough, or your tummy toned to his liking. But, his hands went there anyway. He moved his hands beneath your shirt, rubbing and touching and eventually kneading at your breasts. The feeling, you had to admit, was magical. It was everything you had hoped it would feel like, and more. It just made you worried that it was all too perfect, that George would snap at any second. Pulling away, he seemed to have noticed.

“Relax,” he whispered, inches from your lips and still close enough for his breath to hit against you. “I love you, so much. You’re so beautiful.”

He moved right along after initiating the next kiss. Slowly but surely, George worked off your shirt from your body, and your bra shortly after. You blushed, embarrassed, worried under his gaze, but were met with his eyes scanning you with not fear, but pure awe. His lips drove away from your mouth, marking their journey along from your neck to your chest and eventually your abdomen. He had you laying down, in the perfect position to really be appreciated by his mouth and eyes. He found you so gorgeous, looking up at him innocently and longingly like you did with each kiss. He wanted to bring you to a point where your fears were not nearly anything worthy of thinking about.

You shifted awkwardly when George brought you fully naked, save for your underwear. You never had been this open before anyone, especially not someone as gorgeous as George. Worry fell back through you like a dam breaking, making your anxiety rise. George noticed it as your eyes fell from him, and moved fast to kiss you.

“Trust me,” he whispered, one of his big hands carefully sliding down the fabric. “Trust that I love you so much and will make you feel so good. You are beautiful. I swear to you, you are beautiful.” Your underwear met your feet, leaving you to toss them to the side as George gazed you over. Your feet seemed to shake as his eyes roamed over you. This was it - meeting your biggest fear. You were fully exposed to him, curves and marks in all. Bursting through your cloud of nerves, George’s smile appeared like a ray of sunshine. He leaned in and kissed at your core, making you gasp.

“God, you’re fucking gorgeous.”

He left you no chance to respond or question him, his mouth going to your core and making swift work of pleasuring you. He felt like heaven against you, his tongue working your clit and making the body you had been so nervous to share heat up in the most pleasant of ways. He grabbed a leg in each of his hands and brought them up to rest over his shoulders, bringing you close and heightening the feelings even more. It was truly as if he were trying to drown out the fear with pleasure, and it was working. You found yourself gasping up against George, and later nearly screaming when he added a finger and began to work against you as well. He had such a way with his fingers. Truly, you were lucky to have him.

“So good,” he whispered, pulling back to breathe and re-wet his fingers. “You are so good, so beautiful. My own personal model of beauty. I’m so thankful you trust me. So thankful.”

Thankful became the trend. After adding another finger and working you for a while more, George entered you and brought incoherent mumbles from your mouth. Pushing, thrusting, keeping you just as close as before - he never stopped telling you how thankful he was for you in his life, and for the way you moved against him, and for how pretty you were when you gasped his name. He did not let you go a minute of this intimate act thinking that you were anything less than the world to him. He refused to let those negative thoughts clog up this memory, this dream-scenario. He would never let you think poorly of yourself again.

Minutes of intense gazes, shifted positions, and moans quickly came to a head, featuring you moaning at the feeling of George deep inside you, and George grunting with each push forward. His hand was on your clit, bringing you to where he was, building a pace he knew you couldn’t escape. This was it, the last time you would possibly feel self-conscious before him in this act. You feared you would orgasm and look ugly, ruining the moment for him. It was silly, sure, but you feared it nevertheless. The thought kept you from giving in, pained whines leaving you. George grunted and grabbed you by the hair roughly to put your lips against his.

“Cum for me,” he begged, his own thrusts starting to lose their timing and regularity. “Please babe, I’m so close. N-Need to see you, please beautiful. Please.”

You could not resist him, or his fingers working hurriedly against you. A little bit more of his work, and you came whether you looked good or not, shaking and moaning George’s name in the process. You had a split-second notion to open your eyes as soon as you could, even only a little, to see George’s reaction. What you got was better than any gift you could’ve received. You watched George’s eyes fill with lust before rolling back and shutting tight at the feeling of his own orgasm hitting. He stuttered against you, a loud groan melodically filling the air between you as each wave came and went. It made your fluttering heart beat ever so faster in your chest. When he looked to be able to breathe again, you brought him down for a kiss.

“Thank you,” you whispered, tear-filled eyes gazing into bliss-filled ones. “Thank you for making me feel good and helping me through that. I love you so much.”

He smiled against you. “Thank you for trusting me enough to help. I love you so much, {Y/N}. And I always will, no matter what you choose to look like. You’ll always be beautiful to me.”

And with that, the two of you settled and let post-sex slumber overtake you. More thank yous could come after some sleep in his arms. You wanted nothing more than to be able to rest knowing you had nothing to fear anymore.

[theanxiousteenager1121]

My take on Fandometrics this week

Again, I only talk about the stuff that I know about, so let’s get started. 

SHIPS 3. Malec (Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood) honestly a cool ship and I think its cute but idk how its just stayed solid at number 3 for that long. If it’s still number 3 next week we may have to have a rant.                                                  

15. Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel) I’m glad it went up two spots. Destiel is amazing, although I’m not as crazy a shipper as some, but I’m really anticipating season 13 and what it shall bring and I can tell y’all are too. 

18. Drarry (Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter) thank god it went down four spots. I guess this ship could be ok but I just don’t get it people. Who even thought of this like it’s just strange. I’ll be fair, if I read some good headcanons/fanfiction I might be ok with it but I guess I’m just neutral. 

20. Reylo (Rey and Kylo Ren) Ok, and I thought Drarry was weird. Actually, I take that back. It would be awesome if Rey and Ren fell in love, although their names are basically the same, and then Ren could rediscover what love is and join the good side again, I think that would be great and a good original plot twist. But then, we don’t know whether Rey and Ren are siblings, so there’s that. Yeah, I ship it, but under the right circumstances. 

TV SHOWS 4. Shadowhunters. Idk why this is number 4. Actually I don’t get why Shadowhunters is so popular. I think it’s good, I’ve read it and watched some of the show, I just think its overrated. Just saying. 

10. Supernatural. Ok I love Supernatural, I think it’s amazing and should be a bit higher on the list, but I get that season 13 isn’t coming out for a while and those of us without cable won’t be able to watch it till June, so hype isn’t strong. I also think that, though Supernatural has great actors, great plot, great music, and an awesome fanbase, it is a bit overrated as well. I love it, but it’s slightly overrated. 

Note: GUYS WHERE TF IS STRANGER THINGS? I STARTED WATCHING THAT SHOW, I LOVE IT, AND SEASON 2 IS COMING OUT SOON! WHERE’S THE HYPE PEOPLE???

MOVIES

6. Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi. YES I AM SO EXCITED. I get that it’s not coming out till December OF NEXT YEAR but the trailer is out and hype is coming up. Im just pissed that its NEXT DECEMBER

11. Zootopia. Okay, I think 11 is a fair place for this, but Zootopia was one of those movies that was good but everyone just went waaaaaaaaay overboard with shipping characters and writing smut and fanfiction and yeah its a kids movie so. Also there’s like different kinds of animals being shipped together which seems strange but it was a good movie so it deserves its place. 

14. Moana. I get that hype has died down since the movie came out last November but I think if Zootopia gets number 11 then Moana should be at least number 9. It’s a great movie with amazing music (go Lin my boy), extremely talented cast, and defying so many Disney stereotypes. There isn’t much shipping to be done as Moana and Maui would just be wrong together, but it’s still an astounding movie with the best music. 

CELEBRITIES

1. Tom Holland. He’s cute. And he has a frog in his mouth. Your place on the Fandometrics scale is well-deserved, Tom. 

3. Kylie Jenner. Really? Moving up 15 spots? Honestly I know people like the Kardashians and stuff but I really don't, I think the reality show is really shallow and just kind of a group of spoiled teenagers/adults being filmed whining or crashing cars or overreacting and stuff. I think it’s dumb. But you know if some of them do good charity work or something I may let it go. 

5. Chris Pratt. Damn he moved up fast, he wasn't even on the list last week and now he’s number 5. He is a beautiful man and talented actor, and though it may sound weird I think so far one of his best works is Parks and Rec. He is so damn funny and cute like AAAA

15. Jensen Ackles. This is good but UM WHERE IS MISHA? OR JARED? Gishwhes just happened, I feel like Misha would get at least some recognition. And to boot Jensen moved down one space. I’m disappointed, you guys. Supernatural may be a bit overrated but the actors definitely are not, they are kind and amazing people. 

16. Jennifer Lawrence. It’s her birthday today so, and I also love Jennifer I think she is so cool and funny and lit asf. I like how she is not ashamed to talk about flaws she has with her body and stuff, and her bad habits and insecurities, which a lot of famous girls don’t do. Makes a lot of us feel better about our own flaws. 

MUSICAL ACTS 1. Harry Styles. I don’t listen to him but I really don’t know why he’s number 1. I’ve heard his music and there is way better artists out there.

4. Taylor Swift. I like her music, it’s chill, but I really wasn’t sure why she moved up so fast. Turns out, she’s working on a new album. Makes sense. 

5. Fifth Harmony. Some of their songs are good. Great singers, and the acapella kind of stuff is really cool. They are talented, but their music is kind of neutral in my eyes. 

6. Shawn Mendes. I think he’s really talented, great singer, and cute. His music is bomb too. 6 seems like the place for him, I agree. 

12. Justin Bieber. Okay, I’ll admit, he is kind of cute and some of his songs are good, but his personality kind of puts me off. I jam to Despacito and I think it’s cool that he did a song in Spanish but that song gets annoying fast. Meh, 12 is a good place for him right now. 

14. Twenty One Pilots. I will never know why they say Twenty One and not just 21. Their lyrics are really different and I relate to them a lot of the time (I’ve been thinking too much, help me) their beats are lit and I think they are really cool, talented and original artists. 

17. Ariana Grande. Some of her old songs, yes, I jam to them. Her new songs I’m sure are good but I’m just not really into them. How she reacted to the Manchester event was appropriate and I have respect for her. 

20. Fall Out Boy. I’m not sure. All I know is their cover of the Ghostbusters theme song was not my thing. Ray Parker Jr. forever. 

That brings this post to a close. Also, I think Tumblr Fandometrics should do a Musical Theater/Broadway Actors page. What do you think? Idk how to ask them, but if enough of you petition for it I think we could do it. 

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 14: My Dinner With Bigfoot (SMUT)

*hola, amigos, we have a little sprinkling of smut throughout the chapter. 

Oh, yeah, this is gonna be spread out since variety is the spice of life. don't do stuff in the woods though. you will get arrested in real life. HAVE FUN!

for the less corrupted amongst us, there are some slightly spicy scenes towards the middle that aren't too bad, followed by genuine smut so look out for the warnings since we'll be going in and out of mature content*

Friday night, date night. Or at least it was supposed to be.

Things had been busy lately. Since the loss of the fifth and sixth Man Cave, there had been a lot of baloney about sorting stuff out. That new Man Cave smell was nice but it was so formal and stiff, not the kind of thing you wanted for your home, so Ray and (y/n) had made good on their promise to each other.

Not the new wardrobe thing, although Ray did take his sweet girl out shopping one afternoon and returned carrying fourteen bags just to rival every other man in the mall who was following their wife or girlfriend around like a lovesick puppy. 

Every surface. No joke. That's what he'd whispered in her ear, so that's what they'd done, desecrating their new bed as well as the shower, the guest shower, a few walls, the hall, the couch, the computer's chair, the kitchen and the tubes. Animals. 

Things were back to normal, which meant a quiet night in was needed with the two of them and a bottle of red. No funny business, that's what Ray had said, not because he didn't love fucking her whenever and wherever but because after getting scolded by Schwoz for leaving evidence strewn across the Man Cave, he decided they needed to dial it back a bit.

And that had led to them enjoying a very fine evening in their room, nothing lewd or suggestive, just the two of them curled up on the floor with a blanket next to a TV with a looped video of a fireplace on the monitor. It was a bit corny as they sipped their wine and giggled when it went to their heads, laughing when Ray fed (y/n) a strawberry and booped her nose. 

It was cute and there wasn't stuff. Ray had told Schwoz there wouldn't be and that's how it was staying. That was the plan, anyway.

"You know what this reminds me of?" the man mumbled as he watched his lover swirl the blood-red liquid in her glass before putting it down to focus on his words. He was languishing against a half-moon of pillows, arms stretched along the row and his legs spread in front of him so she could shuffle closer, curl into his side and rest her head against his chest.

"What?" 

"The first time I took you out to dinner..." he said softly and tucked a loose strand of her behind her ear when it fell from her lowering her gaze shyly. It was a bit weird, he knew that this was nothing like the first time he took her out to dinner, whether it be they were "friends" or lovers.

"What? You do know that we weren't sitting on the floor or alone in your bedroom on either occasion," (y/n) giggled, sitting up so she could look at him properly and possibly sneak a sip from the wine glass he raised to his lips, even though she had her own. 

God, her younger self would kill to know what her future held and would've died and gone to heaven at the idea of her best friend pulling her into his lap so their faces were at the same level, his hand on her bare thigh, fingers grazing under her dress innocently as he pecked her lips.

"I know, but it feels the same. But this time, you're not my friend or my girlfriend...you're my wife," Ray grinned and tilted his head forward to catch her lips once more in a slow, sloppy, uncoordinated dance that was enough to set a fire alight in (y/n)'s core. Her hips shifted and tilted to press against his clothed cock, which was barely hard, merely twitching with slight interest as his jeans gave her a glimpse of pleasure. 

They shouldn't--couldn't, she knew that. This was meant to be relaxing, a chance for them to catch up with clothes on but she couldn't help it. Call her crazy after the Christening of The Cave as it had come to be known but she wanted him. She always had and it was that which convinced her. 

Until the taste of wine became sharp and sour on her tongue and she remembered that her past self never had to contend with tipsy Ray.

"Doofus..." she giggled, pulling away from his lips, although she remained firmly on his lap, clit pulsating against the rough coolness of his zipper, "I think someone has had a little too much wine...I'm not your wife yet."

"You should be...you're so pretty and smart. My sweet girl..." he mumbled and dragged his thumb over her bottom lip as he pouted at the thought of yet more waiting. He pouted even more when she took his wine glass from his hand, the one that had been dangerously close to tipping its contents all over them as he lost himself in her honey taste, and placed it next to hers away from the blanket.

No spillages, thank you. Instead, the chilled Pinot was left to go lukewarm as her hands returned to his shoulders to keep him pushed against their pillow next and his eyebrows twitched at the sudden change in the atmosphere. 

He could feel it; the way she looked at him, the way her thighs trembled when his grip slid to her waist and how her weight seemed to shift to press against him at the right angle and make him stiffen. 

"I know what we can do in the meantime," (y/n) smirked and slotted her mouth against his, expecting him to play right into her hands and remap his territory with his typical vigour. Ray loved pinning her down, ravishing her, taking what he wanted, especially when he was given such a tempting invite, so it was a surprise when he pulled away.

"No, sweet girl, what did we say?" the man growled and held her away from him by wrapping a gentle hand around her throat. He didn't squeeze, it just rested there as a reminder that despite his reluctance to spread her out and have his fill, he was very much in charge. However, it didn't stop her from whining and rocking her cunt against him once as a protest.

"But--"

"No buts. I promised Schwoz that we just having a quiet dinner in a room, nothing that will cause him any grief," she huffed at the name of the genius, who right now was the enemy since it was his complaint that meant his free hand was clutching her pelvic bone to keep her still. 

So what if he found her bralette on top of the microwave? It was nothing he hadn't seen before but apparently, finding the matching panties hanging from a monitor in the main room was the final straw. Whoops.

"So? We'll just have to be extra careful next time we fuck in front of the TV," the heroine giggled, drawing another growl from his lips as he casually pressed butterfly kisses to her jaw. There wasn't gonna be the next time, not if he could help it, no matter how irresistible the offer was, but he figured a peck or two couldn't hurt.

"Needy little girl..."

"And besides. What we do in our room isn't up to Schwoz. If he finds something in here, then it's his fault, not mine when I want you to fuck me in our bed, in our bedroom, with the door shut," she whispered hotly into his ear, biting the lobe as she made her point and began grinding her clothed pussy into his lap, where he was getting undeniably hard from her begging.

Her dress was flimsy, thin and the sort of garment he didn't like to see her walk outside in just because she looked as if she could freeze to death at any moment, in any weather. But she didn't intend to walk away, not when she had him to keep her warm and the delightful friction between her legs, which had perfect access in the dress he hated to love. 

But even he couldn't resist bunching her dress around her thighs and pushing it up to her belly button, revealing the lacy panties she'd put on underneath. Fuck him, they were soaked, sliding over his painfully hard cock that throbbed at the sight of her rutting against him--a show only for him. 

He wasn't going back on his word, he was just looking with hooded eyes. Nothing wrong with that. 

"But I'm not gonna fuck you, darlin'. Not here, not tonight. Not after someone else got to see your panties and I had to collect them," the hero told her firmly, swallowing the lump in his throat when she wailed and sagged against him. The look in her eyes suggested mutiny as if he'd betrayed her in the worst way as her hips kept moving--almost madly now that he'd said that.

He'd be a liar if he said the thought of pushing into her wet little hole didn't make him want to cream his pants, he could tell from the mess she was making that she was desperate despite them being very...active over the past few days. But that was the problem, she wasn't there when a mortified Schwoz handed over a pile of freshly laundered underwear whilst wearing rubber gloves with him as the equally mortified recipient. 

"Wha---Ray, that's not fair! I need it--want your cock so bad! Can't you see how wet I am?" she whined, pulling at his shirt like a petulant child who couldn't get her way. Her fingers snaked to cup her mound, where she gathered an embarrassing amount of slick that had seeped through the lace on two fingers. Even through his jeans, she could make out the head of his cock straining against the denim and her mouth dropped open when it poked and teased her entrance.

"Which is why you're going to get yourself off like this. Rubbing your pretty clit and begging me for more, so come on. Make yourself cum," Ray challenged, giving her a hard stare, which she shrank under. He wasn't gonna--huh? 

She could do as he asked, with him talking so filthily in her ear, it was easy but what she desired was so close. It didn't make sense that he'd sit there and torture himself like that when it would be so easy to unzip his pants and free his cock, let her bounce on it a little until they were both falling apart. And yet here he was, gazing down at her so cockily as his hands started to pull her hips back and forth.

"But I want to ride and cum on your cock, like I did on the couch--wanna feel you so deep inside--" she muttered squeakily as her hand went inside her panties and began circling her clit in a figure of eight. He seemed pleased with how she carried out his barked orders and fondled her tit through her dress as she did until her stupid mouth got her into trouble for being bratty.

"What did I say, little one? You'll take whatever I do or don't give you and endure. I want you to cum like this," he replied harshly and the hand that had been pinching at her nipples left them alone to smack her ass harshly, causing her cunt to brush against his cock deliciously. A hiss left his lips and as much as he wanted to take care of her, was suddenly, selfishly starting to wish that he could fill her up.

This was yet another part of his game and she loved playing it no matter how frustrated she became when the stimulation on her throbbing bud wasn't enough. Poor thing, she had it too easy, thinking she would get fucked every time her pussy started aching, but he had to teach her that bad girls don't get what they want. 

"Please..." she pleaded, nuzzling her head under his jaw and kissing his pulse point in a bid to get as close to him as possible. Maybe if she reminded him that she was his good girl, his sweet girl, his cute, innocent future wife, he'd give in.

"No..." he growled, refusing to touch her any more than he already was; hands on her ass, tits and waist, lips nibbling at her neck, no more. It added to her frustration when he let groaned lowly in the back of his throat, no doubt kicking his orgasm away as she teetered on the edge of hers.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't--please!" (y/n) begged. No matter how hard she tried, how quickly she rubbed, how deeply she ground, her release was always out of reach, running away as soon as she chased it and only he had what she needed to grasp it. 

Again, he denied her, helping her movements against him as if that was any help. The only real thing he did was seize the top of her panties between his two fingers and thumb before ripping the elastic. The lace was shredded, useless and able to peel away easily from her figure after that, meaning her cunt was bare and free to ruin his pants as she wished, even if the increased friction was laughable. 

"Fuck, you're soaked, sweetheart. This all for me? This the hole you want fucked?" he asked mockingly as his fingers finally stroked through her velvety slick, causing her mouth to fall open and her pussy to move against them greedily. A fingertip breached her hole and she screamed, hands balling his shirt as one digit slid into her and then another straight away.

Her head nodded weakly as she sobbed at finally having something to clench around but it was nowhere near enough. Not when she was used to stretching around his girth as he pounded the life out of her.

"More--please--need your--cock--"

"How many times, filthy girl? I'm not fucking you right now, you can cum on my hand," Ray tried to remain firm, scissoring his fingers to try and make them feel bigger. Honestly, he didn't care about Schwoz, it was his Man Cave, he'd fuck his fiancée wherever he liked but it provided a good excuse to tease her and drag their date out a little more. 

He loved her like this and had planned to woo her, bed her, make love to her during the evening, forgetting his promise to Schwoz. Although, he didn't expect to be quite like this.

"But--but you could fuck me, fuck my pussy...anywhere," his fingers stilled inside her and his eyes met hers with a steely gaze, causing her to carry on with needy confidence, "you said you would and you still haven't. Captain, why haven't you fucked my ass yet?"

The effect was instantaneous and better than she could have ever imagined. Ray's hand was ripped from her cunt and she whined at that, only to whimper when he roared and pushed her to the blanket roughly. Within seconds, he was swiftly crawling up her body whilst simultaneously fumbling to free his weeping member, which was straining after that suggestion.

That had been pushed to the back of their minds, on the table but ignored for now since they'd never had enough time to do it safely and properly but that didn't mean he wasn't desperate to try it. He still wanted to see her every hole claimed, sated and owned by him, so her teasing rose the beast within him that wanted her on all fours for him to see.

"You're so bad--bad fucking girl. My girl," he grumbled in her ear as she braced herself on her hands and knees, skirt flicked over her ass, and looked back to see his perfect, glorious cock pulled from his zipper. He was leaking, an angry-red colour and bobbing deliciously as he hissed from the cool air; it was clear that he couldn't be bothered to properly take off their clothing, not after she'd said that.

"I'm gonna fuck this pussy so hard and then, if you're lucky, I might start practising stretching this hole out, ready for my--" Ray rambled, letting himself get lost in the fantasy as his head pressed against her entrance and gently began to break her open. The burn was heavenly and (y/n) groaned throatily at the relief it provided, thinking they were the only people in the world at that moment.

That is until she looked up and saw through blurry eyes how the door handle was turning. 

With a squeal, she instinctively crawled forward and away from Ray, snatching a blanket from the pile next to their nibbled-at dinner and draped it across her lap quicker than her lover could blink or keep hold of her.

"What the fuc--" he snarled, outraged and confused that she'd moved away at such a crucial moment when he was half-cocked and dying to slip inside her walls. Seeing nothing but red, he thought that she was playing some devilish game and so, he went to grab her, intent on spanking her ass until it was red and sore and in need of her superpower to make it better. But then he saw it too.

The doorknob had made a half-rotation and he only had a fraction of a second to yank a cushion from next to her head and press it into his crotch when the door was pushed open by the one person Ray did not want to see at that moment. 

They'd fallen against the pillows, panting, sweaty and trying to appear as if they'd merely been sipping wine and not on the verge of fucking, when Jasper entered the room, staring at his phone and unaware as to what he'd walked in on. 

Of course, it was him.

"J-Jasper, what are you doing in our bedroom?" (y/n) asked breathlessly, trying to fan her warm cheeks in a subtle way that wasn't subtle at all. Anyone with half a brain could realise what had been going on just by how warm and close the air was, how warm and close they were, if they only took a minute to observe. 

"Yeah, what are you doing here?" Ray asked darkly, glaring at the boy as he felt his cock soften and the mood vanish. He was still desperate, raring to go and would give anything to slide into his sweet girl had he not rudely interrupted. 

"Oh, uh, yeah...you said that you were gonna join me and Henry tonight, remember?" the boy said, looking up from his phone to see nothing out of the ordinary.

It was damn lucky that Jasper only had a quarter of a brain, otherwise, they'd have a lot of explaining to do with very red faces. But he was oblivious to their sticky foreheads and stiff shoulders, plus the way Ray refused to move the cushion from his pants as he thought about the boy's words.

"Oh...yeah. That," he mumbled, sending an apologetic glace to his puzzled lover, who hadn't heard of this arrangement before. What a fool Ray was; he'd agreed to the boys' night with the teens since they rarely had any guy time. So, tonight they were gonna be reckless, dumb and crazy, keeping their youth alive. And it seemed that he'd double-booked the date too. Oh, hell.

"What? Look, Jasper, I'm sorry but Ray's gonna have to miss whatever you've planned 'cause we've still got half a bottle to finish as well as something else, so--" she laughed nervously, feeling highly uncomfortable that her dearest Curly was in the room when she was aching on the inside. 

She didn't care about whatever they'd planned, she thought Ray would choose her over a stupid night playing video games and eating candy. How wrong she was.

"So, just gimme a minute. I'll be right there," Ray told Jasper, gulping to keep his voice steady as (y/n) looked at him with shocked, wide eyes and an open mouth. The boy grinned and walked off, calling to Henry down the hall to get the popsicles from the freezer, leaving the woman to gawk in silence as they breathed again.

"Wh--what? You can't leave me here!" she gasped as she relaxed into the blanket and expected Ray to do the same, but no. When he said he'd be right there, he meant it and was already tucking himself away and doing up his zipper as she laid there, still wet and needy. 

He looked sorry, apologetic and remorseful but even so, that didn't stop him from standing up to grab a moist napkin from their dinner table to dab away any embarrassing stains and freshen himself up. 

"Precious girl, this is my fault. We arranged this night ages ago and I can't let Henry down...or the other one," Ray told her gently as he finished scrubbing himself and threw the napkin onto the tray again. She scoffed as he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his tousled locks, smiling softly as she scowled and stamped her foot against the carpet. It was childish but she was distraught.

"But you can't leave me here without fucking me first..." the heroine muttered and grabbed the leftover wine to take a large swig--much-needed fortification to quench the blaze inside of her. The burn in her throat was unpleasant and made her eyes water but she hid the discomfort well, welcoming it to mask her frustration. How could he walk away? Was he not burning up as she was?

"I promise I'll fuck you later, yeah? Later, I swear," he insisted, deeming his appearance suitable enough to show a couple of teenagers and stepping away from the mirror. His smile met her glare and he leaned down to kiss her goodbye, probably the last one of the night since they were set to pull an all-nighter. However, (y/n) couldn't help but linger and try to swipe his tongue into his mouth--a play to entice him back that ultimately failed.

"Later. I'm holding you to that," she said to him firmly as he pulled away before his semi could return at full force. He couldn't deny that he still wanted her and was equally frustrated but he had to hide it well for the kids. They didn't need to see that.

"Later," he repeated and with one final peck on her forehead, he swept out of the room, leaving her a trembling mess in their rudimentary picnic spot. She'd finish herself off to the roaring of the fake fire but it wasn't enough. It could never be and she couldn't help but wonder.

Was Jasper an idiot or was he just being purposefully annoying?

*SAFETY AT LAST. Not my best but we've more yet to come, so stay tuned my fellow sinners--Onwards with the episode!*

~Many long hours later~

Annoying. Very annoying. They all were so damn annoying. One, two and three.

(y/n) had slept alone that night, had gone to bed in a frightful mood and all because of their stupid, ridiculous, testosterone-fuelled party. And it was a party—a big one. 

At one point, she'd woken up at three-thirty to go pee when she heard their rowdy voices in the main room, shouting something about Henry finishing an entire can of soda in eight seconds. Full sugar, no doubt, that's what they ran off for the past god knows how long. The binge hadn't stopped when the sun rose, not when their sugar highs nosedived and not when Charlotte came to work at nine to see a very grumpy woman sitting in the chaos as she'd tried to eat breakfast. 

For the life of her, Charlotte couldn't work out why the heroine was so grumpy and tetchy, it wasn't like her at all but in the end, she'd put her snide remarks and long sighs down to her being tired and moody from Ray's antics. 

Hell, she'd only been there five minutes and she was tired from their conga line, so to escape from the tornado of pizza and smelly armpits, the girls had legged it to the safety of a cafe for the morning, hoping that by the time they'd finished gossiping and sipping cappuccinos, they'd be sleeping it off on the floor or couch. That was so naive of them.

It's how they'd ended up where they were now; one of the boys, assisting in something bovine and moronic frolic that required more players than they had. What the hell even was a haircut chain?

"How's it lookin', Henry?" Jasper asked his friend as the boy stood behind him. This was their big idea; they each stand behind one another with lasers--very dangerous, highly unpredictable lasers--so that they could give each other haircuts. Yeah, Charlotte and (y/n) didn't understand either.

"Lookin' gooood!" Henry replied with a smirk as he lightly trimmed Jasper's hair so it was a gradual fade and not a severe cut. The lasers were at their weakest setting, which meant they were being irresponsibly complacent since they merely saw it as a free haircut, nothing more. "How's it lookin', Ray?"

"Lookin' ooooookay!" the man said happily as he zapped at the stray hairs on his sidekick with an experienced hand. Behind him, his sweet girl and Charlotte were doing the same to him, although the woman needed to stand on a ladder held steady by the girl to match his tall stature. She was still thrumming on the inside, she could feel it when she walked and could see it in his gaze when they'd come home but still, the wait went on. 

"How's it lookin', sweet girl? Charlotte?"

"We do not know what we're doing, doofus," she replied dryly, squinting to ensure that she was cutting in a straight line. She'd never cut her hair let alone someone else's and as it happened, she was quite fond of Ray's floppy floof. She didn't want to see it ruined so she was trying her best to not mess it up, but it was hard when she and Charlotte kept swapping to take turns on the ladder.

"What?!" Ray suddenly exclaimed and raised a hand to shield his brown locks as they ceased lasering. His hair was practically sacred, one of Captain Man's best features, to cut it without some skill was sacrilege. "Why would you mess with the Man Mane if you don't know what you're doing?"

"You told us it didn't matter!" Charlotte argued, wondering why he was being so crabby too. She didn't know if the happy couple were in the middle of a domestic or what but fifteen hours of sugar and soda had not helped the man, who was getting to be strangely antsy.

"When did I say that?" Ray asked in an innocent tone, although he remembered the precise moment quite well.

"Ten minutes ago, you doofus? Remember? When we walked out of the elevator and found you guys dancing around chanting, haircut chain, haircut chain, haircut chain!" the heroine refrained from punching his shoulder, knowing that if she did, the contact might make her spontaneously combust. The coffee was still fresh on her tongue as well as the fluttering from the butterflies after seeing him again...

~

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" Ray, Henry and Jasper chanted as they paraded around the Man Cave, waiting for the return of the girls.

They could hear the elevator coming down and were eagerly anticipating getting them to join, so it was quite the surprise for the two friends to step into the main room and see them so excited. As painful as it was to see them still so energetic, it warmed (y/n)'s heart to see her doofus again after four hours and three iced hazelnut lattes later; maybe it was her, but his gaze seemed ravenous for a split second before his cheerful grin resumed. 

"Hey! We're gonna cut each other's hair!" Henry exclaimed, not caring if they were still holding their final takeout cups of Jet Brew. He was on his fifteenth popsicle, caring wasn't an option anymore.

"With lasers!" Jasper shrieked and (y/n) shared a look with Charlotte when his breath practically tore their faces off, Maybe leaving them unsupervised was a bad idea, but damn, they'd needed that coffee to pull through whatever this was.

"You in?!" Henry offered with a determined glint in his eyes that they didn't share. 

"I do not know how to give a haircut with a laser."

"Yeah, me neither," they told him, wanting to make sure that they were aware that if they went near their beloved styles, there could be irreversible consequences. But as always, Ray wasn't a responsible adult and when his lover turned to look at him with fleeting eyes, he ignored any warning since it put a dampener on his spirits.

"Doesn't matter!" Well, he was the one who said it. That counted as permission in their eyes, the terms and conditions that hadn't been read but regardless, they'd accepted them. 

"Then, okay..."

"I still say this is a bad idea," (y/n) muttered and took a long sip from her latte, letting its familiar milkiness take her back to her younger days. She knew that the haircuts were gonna be a disaster just from the way the chanting started up again, although this time, lasers were fired at the ceiling.

"Haircut chain! Haircut chain! Haircut chain!" the boys shouted, firing laser after laser at the rock face above their heads. Ray only stopped to kiss his sweet girl after hours of not seeing her properly but when she went to cup his face and linger, he pulled away to start dancing with his fellow gibbons. 

You'd think he'd be a little more clingy considering that he hadn't crawled into bed with her that night and had been sorely missed by his sweet girl but that would come later, once the sugar tap had been turned off. The (y/n) withdrawal symptoms would come back with full force and so would his bone-crushing hugs and need to kiss her frequently - amongst other things. 

~

"That didn't happen," Henry shook his head and peeled his eyes away from where he was lasering to look back at the girls. He was tired, sluggish and fuzzy so they didn't believe him, even if it was three against two.

"Yes, it did!"

"Who are you going to believe, Charlotte? Your own flawed memory or three guys who've been up all night playing video games and eating popsicles?" Ray asked and pursed his lips as he recalled the long night he'd just experienced. 

Truth be told, he was getting a little too old for that kind of thing and looking at the pile of popsicle sticks on the table, he knew he'd have acid reflux at some point--it was just one of those things. Getting a good night's sleep after finishing his still unfinished business with his sweet girl sounded much better, but he was way too proud to admit that. 

"Yeah, that's not a tough choice, you morons," (y/n) said with a scoff, although her point was marred slightly when she leaned forward on the ladder to press a kiss to the nape of Ray's neck. She enjoyed watching him shiver and hoped that he was reminded about what his fun night had cost, something that highly amused Charlotte as she stopped the ladder from tipping.

"Yeah, exactly. Popsicle boys!" the kid squeaked immaturely and in a move that somewhat disturbed the insulted girls, wiggled his fingers against Ray's as they made a stupid sound. The hero might've been shaking from the inrush of cold air after his lover had her lips on him but he didn't miss a beat, unlike Henry, who missed an awful lot since his focus was elsewhere.

"You might wanna look where you're lasering," Charlotte advised. She wasn't the one on a platform like (y/n) but even from her position, she had an excellent view of Henry's lack of movement, meaning she could see how he'd been going over the same spot on Jasper's head for the past three minutes. It kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for. 

"You better look where (y/n)'s lasering!--ah!" he retorted cockily, thinking that she was simply buying into the playful banter until his gaze wandered back to his work to see that what was once a masterpiece was now ruined. 

From his ear downwards, Jasper's hair was gone; it kinda looked like a mole rat now, smooth and fully shaved, not what the boy had asked for, meaning a horrified, squeaky gasp fell from Henry's lips. 

"What was that?" Jasper asked nervously as he felt the gentle heat on his head stop and a draft brush against his skin. It didn't feel like any other haircut he'd had given how cold everything felt and it was like he could sense their stares burning into the back of his head as if something had gone wrong. 

"Uh...nothing," Henry stammered, wondering how he was gonna fix the mistake if there was no hair left to work with when Schwoz came through the secret door, minding his own business and carrying a picnic basket. 

"No, no, no, you tiny screamed," Jasper tried to bring his focus back, knowing that his friend only screeched like that when something was wrong.

"Uh, dude, it was nothing--Hey, Schwoz! Random question...do you have anything that regrows hair?"

"What?!" The boy's hand flew to the back of his head as he heard the not-so-subtle question and even he understood that Henry was trying to say that he'd screwed up the haircut chain. The genius was so conveniently in the room now and so, Henry thought that he'd have a solution since that was his expertise and helpfully, he did. 

"Don't worry, I got something," Schwoz reassured them, seeing the utter panic on Jasper's face and the guilt on Henry's, so he pulled a tube from his pocket and tossed it to the shaved kid, "this hair-growing cream works great. I've been using it on the sides and back of my head for years."

"Any instructions for this stuff?" Jasper questioned as he looked at the tube dubiously. It didn't have any legible writing on it and Schwoz was already off out somewhere, so it didn't give him the best feeling, even if Schwoz's hair (or what was left of it) was thick and luscious. 

"Oh, yeah. Lots of 'em! But I don't have time to tell you right now because I'm late for my dinner with Bigfoot," Schwoz replied and lifted the basket over his head so he could disappear up the tube and not have to worry about Jasper and his lack of hair problem. But he couldn't leave, not after dropping a bomb like that--something about Bigfoot?

"Whaaaaat?"

"Hang on..."

"Wait, stop, stop, stop!" the remaining five rambled, focusing on the genius who rolled his eyes at their confused expressions and raised the tube again. He was getting very late and didn't have time for any questions, even if they now had a million of them. 

"What?"

"Bigfoot?!" Ray repeated as he held out a hand for (y/n) to steady herself coming off the ladder. Back on solid ground, she held onto his doofus' hand as they huddled together to grill Schwoz on how he could be friends with a mythical, rampaging thing in the woods and not tell them. They must've heard him wrong, there was no way that it was the Bigfoot. 

"Like, Bigfoot Bigfoot?"

"Yah." Or not. Schwoz wasn't laughing or holding in giggles, he was being deadly serious about meeting up with the hulking creature, something that they just couldn't believe since it was so outlandish. 

"The Bigfoot?" Jasper questioned, leaving his smooth nape alone for a minute since this had piqued his interest. Bigfoot...and people thought he was strange. 

"Like, the made-up creature who lives in the woods?" (y/n) asked, wanting to clarify that they were definitely talking about the thing that supposedly scared campers and hikers. She often prided herself on being quite open-minded, she was an engineer after all, but like the others, she was thinking one thing; Schwoz had either been sniffing glue or watching too much of the conspiracy channel again. 

"He's not made up, he dated my sister," the small replied, which both shocked them and made a lot of sense at the same time. They could get over that Bigfoot existed, but Winnie getting a date? Jeez, the poor guy probably had to give her bags of carrots instead of bunches of flowers.

"Your sister dated Bigfoot?!"

"Yeah, it didn't work out between them, he wanted kids, she didn't but I always thought he was a chill hang," Schwoz shrugged, remembering all of the drama that always ensued when a couple broke up and the drama that ensued afterwards when he and Biggie remained friends. He was glad that his favourite couple would never go through that, it's why he liked living with them despite the ickiness and incidents--no chance of it ending, not ever. 

"Can we go with you?" Henry requested eagerly. It's not that he was nosy, rather, he wanted to see if Schwoz was lying or not. Anyone would jump at a chance of seeing Bigfoot in the flesh and the others had the same mindset.

"Oh, yeah!"

"Yes, yes, please?!"

"Come on!" they clapped their hands excitedly and looked at him expectantly, which put Schwoz in an awkward position. It's not like he had anything to hide but he thought it would be awkward having all of his friends clashing, after all, there were gonna be a lot of personalities clashing. 

"I don't like to mix my work friends with my wood friends--" he tried to let them down gently, ignoring their pleading eyes and hopeful grins because he felt guilty enough. It was impossible though, he truly was outnumbered.

"Oh, come on, Schwoz! Just let us come!"

"Yeah, we can all be friends together!" Charlotte and (y/n) begged together, using their best, fluttering eyelashes and doe-like eyes to win him over--and it worked. They ground Schwoz down all too easily because he wouldn't want to make them cry, now would he? That would just be cruel. 

"Fine, let's go to dinner with Bigfoot--" the handyman conceded with a sigh to the roaring cheers of his friends, who applauded, cheered and fist-pumped their success in an almost hedonistic way that undermined Schwoz's kindness. He wanted them on their best behaviour, not screaming or shouting or being weird, Bigfoot was a very sophisticated guy. "--but don't embarrass me!"

They calmed down at that and although still buzzing with excitement, the group moved to enter the elevator, Ray happily tugging (y/n) along with a spring in his step. He refused to let go of her hand because it was the only thing keeping him cool at that moment, what with the adrenaline still streaming through his blood and the prospect of meeting a literal legend wasn't helping, neither was the sudden, unexpected alarm.

"Emergency alert!" Charlotte exclaimed as everyone looked back at the computer and saw the familiar red flash of the beacon. Right, they were technically supposed to be working right now and an impromptu trip to the woods, something that would take a couple of hours just to get there, wasn't gonna stop them from continuously coming in. 

Captain Man couldn't take time off and neither could his sidekicks and Ray was aware of that, highly so; it was just a shame that he didn't care. Shielding his eyes from the others in a not-so-noticeable way, he pulled his laser controller from his pocket and fired a single shot at the beacon, burning a hole straight through the plastic, thus ending the call, at least so that they didn't have to hear or worry about it.

"Raymond!" (y/n) whined and gave him a stern look for what he'd just done. She didn't feel right leaving whichever poor soul to suffer simply because they were curious and leaving something a mess made her stressed all the more. It made her itch in a way, knowing that it would be lying and waiting to be fixed until they came back so she was ready to scold him and Ray was braced for that. Until--

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Henry began chanting, his booming volume swallowing whatever noise came from (y/n)'s mouth. He'd known the couple long enough to sense when they were about to argue, whether it be petty or explosive, and he did his best to stop it, which worked rather well well when Jasper and Charlotte joined as Ray fleetingly kissed his sweet girl quiet and chanted too. 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" Strange. They thought he would've kissed her for longer. What was with those too?

~Two hours later, in the woods~

A van journey later and the group were still chanting as they approached a clearing in the woods, one where Schwoz had said was his and Bigfoot's supposed meeting place. 

Despite the long, bumpy journey, one that was still palpably tense thanks to Ray, (y/n) and whatever was going on between them, the anticipation for meeting the mythical creature was still high and the teens had been poking Schwoz since the second stop light for more information. What did he eat? Normal food. Where was he from? Swellview, duh. What was his favourite colour? What kind of question was that?

It went on and on but thankfully, it meant not much attention was paid to the front of the van, where the couple had been strangely silent, uneasy and not at all handsy--the most worrying thing. Ray didn't put his hand on (y/n)'s thigh like she was hoping, the thing he always did when he drove since the pillowy flesh was just asking for his fingertips to feel it, but that night, he was worried that the call was asking for something else and he didn't want to listen to it. Not yet, anyway. 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" 

"Dinner with Bigfoot!" The teens chanted relentlessly as they followed Schwoz through the thick foliage, walking for a few minutes to disappear into the night that had fallen during their drive over. Bigfoot was a secretive guy and preferred to not be seen by others, which was understandable, so they carried on in single-file, Schwoz first, the kids in the middle and Ray and (y/n) walking hand-in-hand to bring up the rear.

They were trailing slightly, keeping up but going at their own pace as Ray's stride was much longer than (y/n)'s and he wanted her comfort more than anything, so it was her setting the speed. It was fine, Schwoz had everything under control at the front and they were nearly there, or so he said, so the only problem Ray was experiencing was the one in front of him. The perfect view of his sweet girl's ass as she walked--all he could do was stay back and try not to stare, which was easier said than done.

"Sweet girl?" He grumbled, surprising himself with how animalistic he sounded, akin to something they might find in those very woods, so it was no wonder that (y/n) whipped around immediately, slowing down to a mere ambling pace as she faced her dark-eyed doofus to see what was wrong. 

"Yeah?" she asked, her saccharine voice full of innocence that made Ray's abs tense. He didn't know what he was gonna say at first, he just wanted to call her name but seeing her looking at him like a lamb in front of a wolf made his next actions undeniable. He let go of her hand to grasp her wrist instead and it was damn lucky that the gasp she released when he roughly pressed her against the nearest tree wasn't heard by the others.

Henry, Charlotte and Jasper carried on merrily, not noticing that there were two missing members in their party as Ray pinned his precious girl against the scraping bark and kept her hands clasped together and above her head. 

In the moonlight, she looked so ravishing as his eyes raked down her quivering body and he could see the questioning look in her eye, a part of her wondering why he was picking his moment now. However, he could also see how she wasn't all that innocent either, pupils dilating the minute one hand went from her waist to brush between her thighs, touching nothing but the soft skin there. 

There she was, his girl, his darling lover, his future wife, waiting for his next move, panting lightly in the darkness as they were left behind and he knew that he'd been a fool to leave her for a few popsicles and to play Mario Kart, he'd been a fool for thinking he could last a whole day without her. 

"Doofus, what--"

"The second we are alone again, little girl..." he whispered in her ear, one hand cradling her jaw as the other stayed with hers against the tree. It was his promise to her and it could be left unspoken, she didn't need an explanation. They were pushing their luck as it was, staying behind as the others marched on and as tempting as it was to throw caution to the wind and feel those thighs around his waist because lord knows that he did not give a fuck, she did. 

Jasper's earlier faux pas was but a forewarning in her mind and it would not happen again, not two nights in a row, so as quick as her back had met with the harsh bark, he pulled away, taking one hand with him. 

The dazzling rush of it all had her stumbling to catch up with his long legs as he marched towards the clearing, following the voices before they were missed or he changed his mind and she had no choice but to jog behind her doofus. Her hot, moody, incredibly well-endowed doofus. 

Avoiding a tree root and a mysterious puddle of green mush, the couple made it to the back of the group again, not that anyone had noticed their slight delay. The only noticeable thing was how their breathing had quickened from the rush, although in (y/n)'s case it was something else. Paired with her red cheeks, it was kinda obvious, but the shadows hid it well and so did hiding behind Ray's shoulder. 

"Hey! That hair-growing cream worked great."

"Yeah, it looks gooooood, dude," Henry complimented Jasper when Charlotte noticed that unlike two hours previously, Jasper's hair was completely back to normal. You'd never guess that he'd had the majority of it lasered off and he was quite happy with the results of Schwoz's cream, save for one little thing. 

"Oh, nice...this worries me a little," he smiled but it was nervous and they knew why when he raised his hands to show them that not only did the cream work on scalps, it also worked on fingers and palms. Baby hairs had begun to sprout from his flesh and he was getting quite furry, which was disturbing. Really disturbing. 

"You have to wear a glove when you apply it. That's part of the instructions!" Schwoz exclaimed as the others grimaced, (y/n) burying her nose into the jacket she'd stolen from Ray.

Being the silly-billy she was, she'd only realised how cold it was out until they were well past the city's border and in the sticks, so her ever-adoring fiancé had swooped in and bundled her up in one of his huge jackets that had been slung on the backseat of the Man Van. It was huge, enough to keep her warm even in a dress and it was only made better by his cologne following her around. 

"You didn't tell me any instructions," Jasper argued as he coped with his hairy hands. He'd just assumed that the cream worked on heads, not skin in general, which was kinda bad since he'd been touching his head, face, ears and other places since using it. 

"Okay, step one--don't itch your ears!" Schwoz said when he saw the boy rubbing and searching his earholes. That would only mean more cream transfer, even if it was a little late to be giving out advice. 

"Soooo...Schwoz, where's Bigfoot?" Henry asked as Jasper stomped off to try and deal with his new hair problem. This was the meeting place but no one could see any imaginary animals or beings, meaning the kid was starting to doubt if this guy was real or not and whether Schwoz had pulled the best prank of all time. 

"Yeah, man. We've been walking around for four whole minutes. I'm starting to think you don't really know Bigfoot," Ray added, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his sweet girl huddled to his side to try and keep the cold away. He wasn't the world's most patient man but four minutes traipsing around some bushes at night wasn't his idea of fun and he was waiting on a promise for what was. 

"Relax, let me just call him--" Schwoz told him gently and the man went back to trying to keep (y/n) warm. He knew that dress was both angelic and evil, but at least he could put his arm around her, which was good for when Schwoz ignored his phoned and abruptly summoned his friend. "BIGFOOOOOOOOT!!!"

"He's on his way," he told them, not thinking a thing of his sudden, echoing voice in the dead of night nor how he just spooked the heebie-jeebies out of them. Biggie wasn't much of a phone guy anyway. 

"If you were just gonna scream his name, then why'd you pull out your phone?" (y/n) asked as she snuggled into the cosy fuzziness of Ray's jacket. She'd seen the genius take his phone from his pocket when she was ogling her lover, which is why his bellowing had been so unexpected. 

"So I could get a picture of you guys when Bigfoot shows up," Schwoz replied in a tender voice but he had that mischievous glint in his eye like he had something up his sleeve. His phone was pointing at them and open on the camera app, so he was ready to capture their shocked, terrified expressions whenever he needed a good laugh, not that they knew that. 

"You mean if he shows up," Henry scoffed sceptically, shoulder-to-shoulder with his friends as they waited, "we've been here for five whole minutes now. I'm starting to think you don't actually know hi--"

Henry never got to finish his mini-rant. As he rambled on at the smirking genius, a big, hairy lump dropped from the overhanging willows to land in front of them, bellowing a ferocious roar. The sight of this snarling furball caused the teens and couple to shriek in terror, a moment that Schwoz swiftly captured on his phone as (y/n) practically leapt on Ray, who had his jacket clutched by Henry, flanked by Jasper cowering behind Charlotte.

But the howl eventually petered out and the beast put its arms down in a friendly slouch, meaning the group eventually stopped screaming too. Bigfoot just stood there and he wasn't quite what they were expecting as hands let go of jackets and men put down their sweet girls; he was tall and hairy with thick, sharp nails, that was a given, but apart from that, he was normal.

Well, nearly normal--he was placid with an easy-going stance, nothing like the monster some people often described him as. 

"You guys, Bigfoot is real!" Henry exclaimed as they all stood there, in awe of the living legend in front of them, who wasn't a mutant or animal like on the TV, he was just a normal guy with a lot of hair. 

"Real handsome!" Bigfoot quipped, putting them all at ease with his small joke. If he was comfortable with himself then they had no reason to fear him, especially when he laughed in that resonating baritone of his. "It's nice to meet you..."

"So...uh, this is Hen--" Schwoz started to introduce everyone, not wanting things to be awkward since he didn't have many friends and he didn't want to lose any, but Bigfoot beat him to the chase. 

"Oh, I know this guy. Henry Hart AKA Kid Danger? Feels gooooood!" The hairy man chuckled, much to Henry's excitement. 

"Bigfoot knows my thing!" The ecstatic kid hissed to the others. He thought it was wild that Bigfoot of all people knew who he was and had intimate knowledge of his personality, even his secret identity. He didn't seem to be the kinda guy to leak stuff like that, after all, Schwoz was smart enough to not be all pally with grasses, so no one worried. 

"'Course I do. Scheoz talks about you guys all the time," he revealed, making the small man blush since no one knew about his pride from working the Man Cave. 

"What?" Jasper tilted his head, stunned that Schwoz could be so sneaky and that Bigfoot knew about their crazy gang. 

"Yeah. You must be Charlotte," Bigfoot nodded, turning to the girl whose cheeks heated up when he started being all charming, "Schwoz tells me you're even smarter than he is."

"Whaaaaaat?... It's true, though," she grinned, blushing from the sentiment of Schwoz hyping her up to his other friends but it was the truth. The Man Cave would be lost without her skill with the computer and general sensibility, so it was nice to know that it was noted and appreciated.

"Oh--Jasper!"

"Yeah!" The boy nodded with a smile as Bigfoot moved on, looking at him next and punching out at him lightly in playful banter. Honestly, this guy was so cool and Jasper liked that he had also been included when he did the least out of the three teens.

"J-Dowg!"

"B-Foot!" They bantered and bumped fists as Schwoz kept snapping pictures, wanting to remember every moment of his friends becoming friends. Maybe they'd be able to hang out together as a gang and he'd be surrounded by everyone he loved--maybe a tad premature but a nice thought as they all got along so well.

"How's that girl with all the allergies?" Bigfoot asked, referring to Patina, the one Jasper took to Cactus Con and accidentally plunged into an anaphylactic fit. 

Ouch, a touchy subject in more ways than one so no one ever mentioned what had happened with her, not that Jasper ever let it bother him. 

"Oh yeah, she ghosted me! I keep texting her but she never responds!" He shrugged, tugging at (y/n)'s heartstrings as he smiled with the others but she remembered those weeks all too well. Jasper sat on the couch, texting and texting, waiting for an answer that never came until he had no choice but to move on with a sad acknowledgement for a romance that had gone so far only to be left to die. She never liked that girl. 

Speaking of moving on...

"Oh, and well, I know who this beauty is! (y/n), the sweetest girl in the world as Schwoz put it! Lovely to meet you, I know all about your engineering and how you keep the place running--oh, and of course, Miss Danger! How could I forget?" (y/n) was practically a tomato as Bigfoot moved on and grinned at her next. 

He extended his hand and she thought he was going for a handshake when he warmly pulled her in for a hug, a very soft hug as his woolly body helped her forget about the cold as he gushed about her many talents and the way the Man Cave would crash and burn without her expertise. Pulling away, her face was beaming as they crowded around Schwoz with the other three to look at the pictures and that only left Ray on the outside. 

The man loudly cleared his throat as they cooed over the funny and heartwarming photos, looking up to see him still standing there. Right, the main man as it were, the boss, the head honcho, they couldn't forget him, after all, he'd never let them. 

"And, uh, last but certainly not least..." Ray grinned, awkwardly turning to Bigfoot who removed his arm from his darling girl's shoulders and looked at him--with a blank stare like what you'd give if you were giving a stranger. Oh, lord.

"Hey..." Biggie greeted slowly, which didn't fill the hero with confidence but still, he smiled back, encouraged by (y/n), who was edged closer to them as much as she could without passing the furball, "there he is..."

"There I am!"

"This guy!" They interacted with a definite tension that made the teens frown because it was so weird that Bigfoot had been so welcoming and friendly with them, knowing specific details about their lives and personalities, only for him to have no idea who Ray was. 

"You must be, uh... Henry's dad?" The hairy man suggested, trying to find a possible identity for the mystery man that his friend had never described, but it only served to insult Ray. That was nowhere near accurate and kinda insulting since he thought he looked too young to be any teenager's dad. Come on, he wasn't even married yet. 

"Henry's dad? Are you--are you kidding me?"

"Are you...uh, Jasper's dad?" he moved on, a hint of desperation as (y/n) facepalmed in the background, itching to get to her doofus' side before his emotions started leaking but she knew how it would look if she was constantly clinging to his side. So, no matter how badly this was going, she stood still and hoped that Ray didn't do anything stupid after being called the weird kid's father. 

"Uh, I'm-I'm Ray AKA Captain Man AKA (y/n)'s fiancée!" the hero said, hoping that a few of his basic titles would spark some recognition in the legend's mind. 

Bigfoot looked genuinely surprised to hear about another superhero living with Schwoz since he didn't have a TV and never ventured into the city; he had to learn stuff by ear and when he looked back at the mention of the sweet girl, he saw her raise her left hand and point to the ring that sparkled in the starlight. Well, that confirmed it, weird how he never knew. 

"Oh, Schwoz never mentioned you! Are you new to the Schwoz Cave?" He asked politely, seeing nothing wrong with his question, so he didn't understand why the man's face erupted into anger as the woman and kids released shocked giggles behind him. Oh, that little fibre, what had he been saying?

"The Schwoz Cave?!" Ray snapped and his furious gaze landed on Schwoz, who smirked bashfully and adverted everyone's gaze. He was ashamed but also unapologetic because he loved the idea of being a superhero and messing with Ray's head, even if it was a tangled web of lies that he was now stuck in. 

"Listen, listen--" Bigfoot put a furry hand on Ray's chest to keep him from tackling Schwoz and instead, diverted their attention before things got out of hand, "I found this great campsite just past the creek. Let's all go down there and have dinner to get to know each other better.

"Yeah."

"All right, let's go," the teens nodded enthusiastically at the sound of food and a pretty area to sit, so they quickly followed after their host, who knew the way like the back of his paw--hand. Schwoz was right behind them, giggling mischievously to himself as he passed Ray, who stood like a statue with a stony expression engraved on his face. He was visibly livid from being unmentioned and the shoulder pats that the kids gave him only soured the mood. 

"That's a tough one, daddy," Henry commented jokingly as he walked past, not knowing that it was possibly the worst thing he could've said to the man, who'd been waiting all day and all night for that kind of talk. He was damn near breaking point and (y/n) knew that as she was the last to move. 

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go eat," she whispered, stepping in front of him and smiling in the face of his grim expression. She gently reached for his hand, which unclenched when her fingers slid over his to let her in and without hesitation, Ray allowed her to grasp it. Sighing when she stroked his cheek, he allowed her to tug him towards the campsite, his heart unwilling to watch her walk away despite how sluggish his plodding feet were. 

They might have liked Bigfoot but he wasn't so keen and neither was he impressed with that good-for-nothing, low-down, double-crossing sneak, Schwoz. He'd be having words with him but for now, he was willing to indulge in one thing - his sweet girl. If the hairball didn't know who he was now, he surely would by the end of the night if it was the last thing he did. 

Her fiancé, her lover, her doofus. Always. 

Up ahead, they could hear a slight commotion since they were going quite slowly, anything so Ray could sulk in peace a little longer and cheer himself up with a little butt-staring. No doubt the amazing Bigfoot was doing something amazing with his amazing dinner because he was amazing. 

"Let's eat!"

Yeah, right, he could've done that but to avoid a scene, Ray stayed silent and kicked at the dirt as they came to another, smaller clearing, complete with rocks and stumps for rudimentary stools, a pre-lit campfire and some coolers left by the campers he scared away, one of whom Henry could swear looked like Mitch Bilsky but as he looked at the cosy spot, he couldn't find it in himself to care. 

Soon, they were huddled around the fire, Charlotte sat with Bigfoot on a fallen tree trunk, Henry with Schwoz, Jasper on his own, and then, Ray on a rock with (y/n) perched happily on his knee. Their new friend had raised his eyebrows at that, thinking they were very open about being so touchy and...kissy but the others assured him that it was normal and separating them would only lead to trouble now that the man was calmly nuzzling into her neck and hair. 

So, soon, the snacks were handed out and the stories started. Bigfoot lead them since he was the fascinating one and even Ray was able to tame his jealousy and listen as he nibbled a hotdog, offering it to his lover occasionally, another thing that they assured the legend was normal for them. 

"Sometimes, I just want to sneak into town to get that good salsa but people would see me and they'd either want a selfie or they'd try and kill me," Bigfoot sighed as everyone listened intently to how hard it was being so famous yet hated. Sure, he was legendary but most would kill to be the ones to capture Bigfoot or put the real-life Bigfoot in a zoo, and that was just horrible considering that he was such a sweet man. 

"And I hear that!" Ray piped up as (y/n) bit into their hotdog and he tightened the arm around her waist. He wasn't hated but he knew the price of popularity and it was nice to see him finally making friends, even if it was slightly self-centred, "I can't go anywhere without getting mobbed."

"Appreciate your sympathy, Ron," the behemoth gave him a polite smile and he was gracious enough to not mention the way they were snuggling like they were the only ones in the forest. All Bigfoot concentrated on was his story and the way Charlotte was braiding his fur, which was a shame because his blatant forgetting of Ray's name touched a sore spot for the egocentric man.

"Ray. It's...it's Ray," he corrected with a smile that was akin to a snarl If it wasn't for his sweet girl playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, he would've pounced and taken the hairy buffoon on himself. Was he that forgettable or had Scwhoz properly swindled him for once?

"Oh, I'm so sorry--Captain Ray!" Bigfoot was trying his best; this guy was quite techy about his image and he didn't fancy fighting with Schwoz's other friends, not when they could so easily blow his clandestine existence. However, even his best wasn't enough and Ray gritted his teeth at yet another mistake.

"No, it's Captain Man. My name is Ray," the hero laughed awkwardly and mockingly, earning himself a few hard stares as he took everything too personally, "and I just think it's hilarious that this guy has no idea who I am!" 

Everything got out of hand quite quickly and (y/n) whined indignantly when her doofus stood up abruptly, tipping her off his lap so she had to scramble to stay on her feet as he started throwing a rather embarrassing tantrum. Honestly, it was like caring for a six-year-old.

"Doofus! Ray--Raymond! Oh god, I am so sorry about him..." she had to say, giving Biggie an apologetic look and nervous smile as her lover began kicking at the dirt, complaining about anything and everything. She was used to his emotional outbursts but that didn't make them any less humiliating when their new friend looked so perplexed and almost sympathetic to her situation. God, the shame--he was thirty-seven for god's sake.

"And there's no dijon mustard for this hotdog!'

"Hey! Just chill, okay? Just relax!--" Schwoz and the teens were staring at the earth as (y/n) flattened her palm against Ray's chest and began pushing him away after he threw the half-eaten Weiner and bun to the ground. Sure, it had been a little bland and boring but it was nice for a minimalistic picnic and they'd share anything honestly, mustard or no mustard.

"Said it was a great campsite, doesn't seem so great to me! His words, not mine!" Ray growled above her incessant pleas to calm down and she started using her body to push him back quicker when he pointed straight at Bigfoot--a highly rude gesture. Such a child...

"Calm down! Just calm the hell down!"

"Ray? Ray?!" Charlotte shouted as she came over to see if she could get through to him too since the awkwardness was killing her. She joined (y/n) in begging for him to button it and folded her arms as he spat her calming words back in her face; seriously, if (y/n) was struggling to calm him down, her, his beloved fiancée, what hope did she have?

"I'm the problem, sweet girl? I'm embarrassing?! I'm embarrassing?!"

"Yes, yes, you are! You're embarrassing when you act like a child, Raymond, getting angry when things don't go your way and it's deeply humiliating!" the woman scolded, staring him down--or as down as she could get since she was so much shorter than him--as a teacher would to a rebellious student. He seemed to sober up at that, recoiling when she gave him the reality check that he was upsetting her, the kids, and everyone and that wasn't fair.

"I'm embarrassing?" he asked again and she cleared her throat when his eyes softened from the hardened glare they'd held seconds before. He never wanted to humiliate her, god knows that he only ever wanted to be proud of having him by her side and it was only because of stupid Bigfoot that he'd lost his cool. Or...maybe it was him, maybe he needed to think things through.

"Yes, Ray, so you know what? You need to calm down, so we're going to go into the forest and we're gonna take a lap," (y/n) told him firmly and took up his hand so she could march him out of the clearing before there was a punch up. Did other girls have to do this with their fiancés?

"I don't wanna take a lap!" he replied petulantly and tried to pull his hand away from his sweet girl in defiance. In his normal state of mind, he'd never do that but children often cut their noses off to spite their faces when being told off--he was no different when he was like this.

"You need to take a lap, Ray," Henry piped up this time, having stood up to come and join Charlotte in assisting the woman, even if their opinions meant very little. Still, he figured that if his boss heard it from enough people, he'd eventually stomp off with (y/n) in tow and she'd ensure that he was fully calm before coming back to their rustic yet sophisticated hangout.

"I don't need a lap! It's not my lap time!" Ray snapped at the kid, thinking he was getting them all to back off when really, he was making it worse. Did he not realise how childish he sounded? All the man wanted to do was enjoy a quiet evening with his girl and feel her squirm against him when he breathed hot air down her neck, but no. That walking carpet was ruining everything.

"If you want to act like a child, then I will treat you like one, Raymond. Come with me!" (y/n) tried to shove him again but his bulk wouldn't budge, not until someone else joined the cacophony.

"Uh, I wouldn't take a lap. It's pretty dangerous out there!" The same walking carpet said, again trying to be helpful but again failing miserably. Whilst he knew the woods like the back of his hairy hand, they didn't and he'd hated to see them step in something dangerous but to Ray, that sounded like a challenge. If Bigfoot could do it, he could do it better.

"Oh, okay! We're taking a lap!" the hero scoffed, suddenly changing his tune, much to the group's frustration. Without another word, Ray seized (y/n)'s hand and dragged her off in the direction that they'd come, grumbling as he went. She was tripping over her feet at his insane pace and all she could manage was a quick wave to the others before they'd rounded the corner and disappeared into the shrubbery.

*WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO. SMUT IMPENDING AGAIN. I PROMISE IT FINISHES AFTER THIS THOUGH. LET'S GOOOOOOO!*

"Ray! Ray! Slow down! I said a lap, not a sprint!" she gasped as he retraced their faint steps that had been trodden into the dirt, looking for one spot in particular since it would be far enough from the camp but not too dangerous for them to be caught unawares. He tried to ease up when she stumbled on a jagged rock emerging from the soil but he didn't stop, merely squeezed her hand even more to keep her following.

"Raymond! Will you just--what is with you tonight?" the heroine asked again, slightly breathless from how much ground they'd covered in such a short space of time. Trees had passed and bushes and a sign saying hunters would be prosecuted--and a sign after that said prosecutors would be hunted if they didn't keep their noses out. It felt like they'd trekked the entirety of the woods when he finally stopped, abruptly and without warning, and with no inclination that he was going to answer her question.

Like lightning, Ray pushed her against the tree for the second time that night and their surroundings once again became familiar to (y/n) as she felt the same scraping against the soft skin of her back. He'd taken her up the path to the old clearing, the one where the moon lit the path to keep the monsters away--and hopefully any snoopers too. 

She'd been hunted again, only this time, Ray intended to go through with the kill.

"I'll tell you what's with me, sweet thing," he growled and instantly had his face buried into her neck so he could nip a line down her jugular, tearing gasps and weak moans from the back of her throat, "I've done nothing but think about your pussy since last night and I need it, darlin'. Need you so bad."

Truth be told, a smile tugged at her lips when his typical, domineering snarl turned into a whining beg. He was pawing at whatever he could get his hands on; her soft neck, tits through her dress, hands brushing back the jacket to hold her waist before slipping down to knead at her ass. Most would say that he was pathetic, desperately trying to tempt her into joining him in the open, in a public place, where anyone could stumble across something.

"Whose fault is that then?" (y/n) teased, jaw dropping open when his teeth bit down on her collarbone, causing her to yank hard on his hair when her hands snaked to run her fingers through it. His lips were so distracting but through the lips of them and his wandering touch lighting fire on her skin, she could feel him against her hip, hard and throbbing, begging to be released after losing out so critically before. 

Now, it was her chance to wind him up tight like a spring and watch him squirm because that's what she'd had to do the night he left her for popsicles and buffoonery. He could've had her, could've pushed right in, god knows she'd let him, she was soaking through her panties just at the memory and yet, he'd left himself to suffer. 

Pushing the skirt of her dress up, Ray immediately grasped at her thighs and tried to widen them, hoping to get a glimpse of the delight that was waiting for him, even if he knew he didn't deserve it, not when he'd played such a cruel game. The desperation was clawing at his insides, cock begging him to fuck her soon before he exploded and so, as much as his instincts told him to have his sweet girl spread out like a feast for him and chastise her for teasing her Captain, he swallowed his pride.

"Please--please--please," he whispered over and over against her neck as he rutted his hips into her. With any luck, she'd feel what she was doing to him, how crazy the thought of her had made him over the last god knows how many hours, how he couldn't wait to fuck her tight cunt any longer. 

The drive over had been hell; anytime he looked over, she was there looking like an angel and he could swear that she'd been widening her legs just to tease him when he rested his hand on her thigh. Little minx... But what could he do? He did his best to find her sweet spots, licking and sucking at the spot below her ear and trailing his fingers closer to her core until she was trembling between him and the tree, that's when she spoke.

"What do you want, doofus?" she murmured, tilting her head back so he'd have more access. Moving down from her ear, he headed for the top of her tits, nipping as he went before he grabbed at them roughly. God, he wished they were back home or that he'd done this sooner, then he could take one into his mouth, he knew how perfect those nipples were for biting and sucking, but out here, he wasn't willing to expose more than he had to.

What did he want? A few things. He wanted her naked, on their bed in the warmth so he could get on his knees and pray for forgiveness before worshipping her like he should've done before. He wanted to hear her every sound above the rustle of the leaves. He wanted to peel her panties down her legs and fuck her hard and strong so he didn't rip someone's head off. He wanted her, he wanted her so much.

"You, sweet girl. I want you so bad--since last night," he panted, grinning against her skin when he found her clit through the soaked material under her dress and rubbed his thumb against it in tight circles. She lurched forward with a cry, bucking her hips towards him as best she could with only the tree for leverage and it reminded her that he wasn't the only one who'd been simmering since last night.

The drive over had been hell; anytime she looked over, he was there, looking like a god as one hand guided the wheel and the other stayed with her like always. She could swear that he'd crept his hand closer to her core with every passing streetlight, just to drive her insane.

"Then fuck me, you idiot," she smirked and palmed at him through his jeans, feeling how huge he was even through the denim and no sooner than the words left her mouth, they pulled apart to weakly shove any clothing out of the way. 

Her thumbs hooked the elastic of her underwear and she pulled them down her legs as their eyes stayed locked, his darkening when she slipped them past her ankles and awkwardly over her shoes. It was never like this in the movies, they made it seem so smooth but she got there eventually and pressed them into his hand, earning herself a groan when he felt the damp cotton. 

Tucking them into his back pocket, Ray lifted his sweater slightly, revealing a peek of his Adonis belt as she knelt to pop the button on his jeans and slowly bring down the zipper. He watched with hooded eyes as she gingerly reached into his briefs and pulled him free, licking her lips at the prize that lay in front of her. 

She leaned forward, ignoring how the bitter air was making her core clench when it met her bare pussy and how stones were digging into her knees as she braced against the ground but it was worth it. Dipping her tongue out, she kitten-licked at his tip before allowing the flared head to break her lips open, taking him in one, two, three times with slow bobs of her head that had him throwing his back to howl at the sky. 

It was indulgent, he knew that; her pace was tortuous and he longed to hold her face still and fuck her pretty throat but relented when she looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes that were spoiled only by his cock inflating her cheeks.

"You always look so hot with my cock in your mouth, sweet girl," he groaned and placed a hand on the back of her head to guide her movements. (y/n) moaned at the salty taste of him, loving how pliant he was in her hands, so much power and strength being controlled by her movements--it was intoxicating but not what she sorely wanted.

With one final swipe of her tongue around his length, she pulled back, leaving them connected with nothing more than a string of saliva as she gazed up at him with cherry-red, sickened lips and doe-like eyes before asking, "will you fuck me now, sir?"

"Fuck, baby--" Ray groaned at her naive tone, admiring how small her hand looked when giving his cock a few tugs. Leaving her hair, his hand slipped under her arm and he pulled her to her feet, growling when she giggled at his eagerness. Her amusement didn't last long; pushing her against the tree once more, Ray gripped the backs of her thighs and snarled "jump" against her throat, picking her up effortlessly when she lamely tried to follow his orders.

He secured her legs around her waist and used the tree as leverage, thankful that in their horniness, he'd picked one that had grown at a slight angle so things were easier. His raw strength made her tremble as she clung to his shoulders, where his muscles felt softer through the fuzzy fabric of her sweater but she knew the power that was hidden beneath and could feel it from how he lifted her so easily. 

Rutting his hips forward, they moaned in tandem as his cock slotted against her slit and steadily rocked through her slick, brushing against her clit with every move. Her mouth was pressed against his ear so he could hear every noise she made and his grip turned to steel when he caught on her entrance, prodding so he could feel her clench but not going any further.

"Can I fuck you, sweet girl? Can I fuck you here where anyone can see what's mine?" Ray asked into her hair, sliding his head through her lips to rile his lover up even more. His abs tensed at the thought of someone stumbling across them, a lone hiker or maybe even Bigfoot himself as he came to investigate their disappearance. 

He'd never let them see anything, her pleasure-screwed face and soaked pussy were for his eyes only but a small, sadistic part of him hoped that their new "friend" caught a glimpse of him with his pants shoved down and his sweet girl wrapped in his embrace as he pumped into her. 

That would stick in his head--maybe he'd remember who he was then. The man who was entirely devoted to the sweetest girl on Earth. The man who knew that sweetness better that anyone else.

"Shit--yes, please. Fuck me, I don't care if someone sees--" (y/n) pleaded, going half-insane from the contrast of the jagged bark on her back and the soft swipes of his cock. Ray didn't need telling twice and as her cries painted a smirk on his face, he pushed forward, staring between her legs as he began to disappear inch by inch. The woman threw her head back, not caring when it thunked against the tree, all that mattered was her fucking hot fiancé and his cock that stretched her walls for miles and miles. 

He had the perfect view; her dress was bunched up around her waist and with the moon and stars to guide him, he could see how drenched she was in the dim light and how her pussy sucked him, welcoming him home. She was certain that some of her wetness had been there since the previous night, had not ceased gathering even when he left her alone with a glass of wine to nurse and nothing more and it only made it easier for him to bury himself to the hilt.

For a moment, he gave her a chance to adjust to his sheer size or maybe it was his way of masking how he was the one who needed a minute. Her walls were so damn tight around him and velvety soft, making searing white heat crawl up his spine until he got a grip on himself and started to rock into her.

"So dirty but you like it, don't you? You like having your little pussy filled in the middle of the woods," Ray said cockily, punching out each word in synch with a thrust of his hips, drawing moan after whimper from her mouth--and he sure as hell felt the way she tightened at the reminder of their surroundings. "Oh, you do, don't you? Like knowing that anyone could see you like this for me--see how you scream my name when I--"

"Fuck, Ray!" she cried when he snapped his hips into her at a different angle and hit a spot that made her see stars. Smirking when he saw the way it made jelly of her muscles, he began pummeling that spot, hearing nothing but the blood rushing through his ears and the slapslapslap of his balls against her thighs. Her squeaks and begging were music to his ears and he got lost in his sweet girl, nothing else existed apart from her, him and her tight heat as it ruined his cock.

"N-not gonna last long, darlin, not after last night--" he stuttered, feeling how tight his balls were and how they were begging to pump her full of cum before he exploded. He'd denied himself earlier and it had left him half-crazed, his body drying out for its soulmate so they could be one at last and he was finally succumbing to the call, succumbing to the sweet pull of her pussy and how it was waiting for him.

(y/n) whined something incoherent, too lost in the pleasure rippling through her body from the epicentre in her core. Steadily, she lowered one hand from his shoulders and dropped it to her clit to begin rubbing it in rough circles, her fingers slipping across soaked flesh. It was the push she needed to hurtle her towards the edge and she felt the familiar burn beginning to set in, one that began to blaze when Ray's lips brushed against hers and he captured her gaze.

"That's it, pretty girl. Rub this pussy for me, get it all nice and ready for my cum. Can you do that for me?" he asked in a teasing, condescending tone that had her nodding obediently. His thrusts increased as she doubled down on her clit, giving it light slaps like she knew he would if they were in a more comfortable setting. 

Ray's eyes followed her movements and a gasp got stuck in his throat when he saw how the diamonds in the ring he gave her sparkled with every circle. Fuck, if that didn't make him go faster then nothing would and it wasn't long before he felt the fire return to lick up his spine. Her cunt, her moans, her tight grip on his hair, the sight of his fiancée fucking himself whilst he fucked her was enough to drag him to the edge and her with him when his thrusts faltered.

"Come with me, doofus. Fill me up before we go back," (y/n) whispered before biting his earlobe to smother her loudest moan of the night when he came with a groan, triggering her own end. Ropes of pearly cum flooded her heat as he pressed her against the tree and her orgasm stretched thin when the scraping pain mixed with the bliss. Ray whined and buried his face into her neck, staying as close to her as possible as he filled her up with his most intimate claim.

The heroine sighed at the serenity and rested her forehead against his shoulder as their breathing slowed down. He stayed inside of her for a while, unwilling to remove himself from her warmth when the air around them was so chill and he was more interested in kissing up her neck and running his thumbs across her ass as held her aloft still. 

But, eventually, the chilliness of the air caught up with them and upon feeling his sweet girl shudder and snuggle into him more, Ray realised that her jacket had slipped down her arms when he was pounding into her. Not to mention the fact that she was still wearing that sorry excuse for a dress with her legs facing the elements. 

So, he planted one final kiss on her pulse point and peeled her from the tree, hearing her whimper slightly as her scratched skin smoothed over and his cock jostled against her walls. He pulled out slowly, groaning when he felt his release begin to leak now that she wasn't plugged up. 

"I've got you, sweetheart," the hero told her gently, setting her back down on shaky legs and ensuring that she didn't tumble to the forest floor. "You okay?"

"More than okay, doof. You feelin' better?" (y/n) asked with a breathy laugh. Her tummy fluttered when she felt his cum begin to ooze out of her and whilst she hated to lose it, knowing that it was there was near perfection.

"Much better but there is one thing that I need to do."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" she asked perplexed, wondering what could be so important as he tucked himself away and tugged up his zipper with a shiver. It all became clear when he smirked her way and felt into his back pocket and brought out her panties, the ones he'd tucked away for safekeeping before having his way with her. 

"Would you mind, sweet girl?" He held them open and with a giggle, (y/n) stepped into them as clumsily as she had taken them off, struggling to get her sneakers through the holes until he shimmied them up her legs. Carefully, Ray pulled them over her ass so none of his precious spend could be lost and he playfully squeezed her cheek before fixing her dress to check that she didn't walk anywhere with her butt showing.

"Does this mean I have to walk around with your cum in my underwear?" she questioned, leaning up to caress his lips with hers in a slow dance.

"Of course," Ray grinned, thoroughly in love with the idea that they had a dirty secret between them that no one would ever know but them. Perhaps he was being childish again but the thought of having one up of Bigfoot, having her as his lover since, in his eyes, any man would kill to be with her, made him gloat and preen. Speaking of the hairball...

"We should probably get back..." (y/n) mentioned and pulled his jacket across her body tighter to try and conserve some warmth. The campfire was sounding pretty nice round about now and even better if her doofus would be there to calmly snuggle with her, besides, the others were probably beginning to wonder how long one lap could take.

"You go on ahead, precious girl. I just wanna take a look at something before I go back, I won't be minute," the hero told her gently and gestured to some bushes in the direction they'd come from. 

"Okay, doofus. Don't stay out here too long. I'd hate for something to happen to you," she smiled and pecked his cheek, giving one final warning for him not to be a hero when he wasn't in uniform. Ray chuckled at that and gave her ass a small smack as she walked away, laughing when she sent him a bright-eyed glare over her shoulder. 

God, he hated watching her walk away but at least he could admire her with a longing gaze. Now, about that shiny thing he'd spotted...where was it?

*AND BREAK SCENE. THE SPICY MEATBALL IS OVER MY GUYS. THANK YOU FOR COMING, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELVES, THIS IS SADLY ALL WE HAVE SPACE FOR SO, MIS INOCENTES, WELCOME BACK*

Even in the darkness, on her own and slightly intimidated by the possible Oogie-boogies lurking in the bushes, (y/n) steadily made it back to the camp. A slight left turn, straight on, past the bush that looked like Shirley Bassey and then a right to the small circle of rocks and stumps that seated her friends. 

Just act normal, tell a small white lie and don't blush--whatever you do, don't blush!

"Hey, guys!" she smiled at them as she skipped back to her and Ray's rock and plonked down on it. In her mind, nothing was out of the ordinary and she'd already thought of her story, the one she'd slightly altered to a more suitable narrative. All they needed to do was buy it.

"Hey!"

"What took you so long?"

"Where's Ray?" The teens asked as Schwoz and Bigfoot mumbled and smiled their greetings. The woman laughed nervously at the influx of questions, some of which were easier to answer than others. At least they looked happy and ignorant, that at least meant their "lap" had been far enough away for any noises to dissipate.

"Oh, you know what Ray's like, such a drama queen. He needed a bit more time to cool off so I left him to wander for a bit while I get the feeling back in my fingers," she explained quickly and thank god, it checked out. Whether it be from her steady tone or her pleasant face, the teens nodded knowingly since that did sound like their boss and (y/n) had looked cold all night in that frock of hers.

"I just hope he's okay out there. It's pretty spooky."

"And dangerous!" Bigfoot added, watching the nice lady as she warmed her hands with the fire, flexing her fingers so that the heat seeped into them. Huh, it hadn't seemed that dangerous to her, scary once you were off the beaten track since you couldn't see the hidden roots and rocks as you were walking but apart from that, the woods weren't that bad.

"Why'd you say it was so dangerous out here?" Jasper asked, flexing his fingers too, although it wasn't from a lack of warmth, more like the hair of his palms growing disturbingly long to the point where his skin felt like it was right next to the glowing embers.

"There's this hunter--S. Thompson. He's been setting traps for me all over the woods," Biggie replied and no one liked the sound of that. Not only did the idea of their new friend being caged like an animal make them feel awful, but they also didn't feel safe anymore knowing that there were claws and contraptions hidden under leaves and branches. 

And of course, their favourite idiot was out and about in it, hunting down the treasures he'd seen out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey!" Ray suddenly shouted and poked his head above the flora to show that his hunt had led him back to their vicinity...and the allure of his sweet girl too. "I found some pork chops just lying here on the ground!"

"No, no, don't--" The gentle giant tried to warn him off touching the pork chops but it was too late. 

"G'ahhhhh, it was a trap!" Ray yelped in agony as a metal claw tanged and ensnared his arm with diabolic teeth. Luckily, he was the indestructible Captain Man, so there was no medical emergency, just the wailing of a lost lonely creature who should've followed its mate instead of sticking its nose where it didn't belong. "Monkey fungus, this hurts!"

"Oh my god..."

"You all right, dude? (y/n)'s worried!" Henry called to him and held a calming hand out to (y/n) to tell her that Ray was a big boy, she didn't need to run off to mollycoddle him. She was protective, he knew that, but technically this was on the idiot who just saw something he liked and grabbed it--come on, the world was not going to respond in the same way she did when he grabbed her ass.

"I'm o-kay!" Ray announced, easing his girl's worries with one bellow of his signature phrase. The pain wasn't so bad once his skin adjusted to the pressure and hell, it was worth it for a free pork chop that had been sitting on a dirty rock for who knows how long.

"Hey, is that a bottle of root beer? I'm gonna grab it," he suddenly gasped and no sooner than he did, he was off wandering in another direction, causing his friends to cringe. Something to was the crusty pork down, nice root beer that could've contained any other substance. Delicious.

"What? No, don't grab it! That's probably another trap, you doofus!" (y/n) shrieked over her shoulder but again, Ray didn't listen until he'd stuck his hand in yet another booby trap. The second the bottle left the pressure plate, it snapped shut on his other wrist with a force that would've broken the tendons there had it been anyone else.

"Cobra-Kai, that was equally painful! G'ahhhh..."

"That's the man you want to marry?" Charlotte asked (y/n) dryly, giving her one of her dubious looks as if to tell her that she was dumb for falling for such a moron. They were polar opposites, he could do very little right and she could do very little wrong; even if they had taught her what true love looked like, it was hard to see what the woman fell for since she wasn't the type to go solely off looks.

"Yeah...he has his good moments," she replied quietly and scuffed her sneaker against the dirt. She could name a million things that made her fall in love with Ray, starting with how kind he could, how gentle he was, and how he secretly cared more than anyone, to his floppy hair, baby blue eyes and goofy grin. Amongst other things.

"Oh my god, (y/n/n), what happened to your knees?" Jasper unexpectedly exclaimed, having watched the way she scratched her shoe into the ground and caught sight of the fading bruises.

They were barely visible, almost fully healed so really, she just had some very, very minor bruises that would disappear within the next five minutes. However, if Jasper knew her superpower, and he did, he'd say that for them to be like that, she must've scuffed them up pretty badly. What had happened?

"Oh, uh...um..." the woman stuttered and prayed that the heat from her cheeks couldn't be felt by the kids over the fire. She had to think of something quickly, something that couldn't be added to the pile of reasons why she adored her doofus because it would scar all of them for life.

"Oh, uh...on the way back, I tripped on a tree root and cut them! Nothing super-regeneration can't fix, though..." was her pathetic excuse, which thankfully, went over Henry and Jasper's heads as though the scenario was plausible. They nodded and smiled sympathetically, telling her to watch where she was going in future, powers or no powers, but Charlotte didn't look so convinced. Yeah, sure, she tripped all right. Straight onto Ray's--

"People have been hunting you for years. What's so special about this guy?" Schwoz asked, turning to Bigfoot who was strangely tense after Jasper mentioned (y/n)'s banged-up legs. They were grown-ups, not idiots and the hairy man cleared his throat before continuing, sparing his and the woman's blushes with some tactful conversation.

"He's really good. He knows exactly what I like; pork chops, root beer..."

"Season two of Will & Grace on Blu-Ray!" Ray shouted once more, having spotted the small plastic box on the floor but not the trap that was undoubtedly hidden beneath the shower of dried leaves and twigs.

"That's a good season!"

"That's a great season! Maybe I can pick it up with my foot..." the hero replied, having spent many a binge session with his sweet girl to watch the famous sitcom. It was a freebie, he had to get it but this time, he was going to outsmart the trap since his hands were full, sort of.

"Ray, stop!" Schwoz yelled, hoping to get him to come back but the man was a child--he looked with his hands, not his eyes.

"AHHHHHH! Sweet Megan Mullally, when will I learn my lesson?" he whimpered as his leg was captured too, the metal threatening to impale his skin, even though it was holding out. That was a good question, when would he? Probably never, which was why it was always best to send his handler rather than let him work it out for himself.

"Someone should go get him," Charlotte suggested, eyeing Henry and (y/n) since they were the ones her boss liked best. His sidekicks could handle him, no sweat.

"On it."

"Honestly, it's like looking after a goddamn toddler," the young woman sighed as she followed Henry speedily. Hopefully, they'd get to Ray before he did something idiotic enough to land himself in serious trouble and it was annoying that she had to move again when the fire had just begun to keep her toasty.

"Anyway..." Bigfoot said sadly, standing to his enormous height and going over to get a tangerine from Schwoz's basket as he watched the boy and girl jog away around the corner, "it's only a matter of time before that hunter, S. Thompson, catches me."

"Y'know, Biggie, my friends are superheroes. Maybe they can help get this guy off your back," the genius suggested. He hated to see one of his oldest and dearest friends so gloomy and if he could, he'd do anything to help. And one of the biggest ways he could do that was getting Ray, Henry and (y/n) to flex their super muscles, intimidate this asshat a little bit to leave the woods and its residents alone.

"Hey, Henry! Grab that top hat that's randomly lying on the ground!"

"No, dude. It's a trap!"

"But look how fancy it is!"

"Raymond! You already look like a fire-damaged Lady Gaga impersonator, don't you dare set off another one of these things!" Well, they were super most of the time. Schwoz and Charlotte shook their heads as they overheard the interaction of the sidekicks trying to get the hero to follow them, only for him to reiterate how dumb he was.

"I know, I'll just kick it out of the trap really fast before it closes!"

"No, you doof, that's not gonna work!--" (y/n) begged her lover and tried to grab onto his bicep and tug him away without aggravating the claw on his arm, but once Ray had an idea in his head, he didn't snap out of it. Not even when she whined at the sight of him getting lynched.

"Yeooooowwwwwww! Mamma mia, that's a spicy bear trap!" He yowled as his other got caught, meaning he was now snatched and snipped in all four corners; the pain was near unbearable but he had his prizes, including a dashing top hat that he hoped would make his despairing sweet girl fall for him.

"See what I mean? There are traps everywhere," Bigfoot sighed and Schwoz understood his predicament. From how easy it was to fool Ray, there was a different trap every few feet, so there was no wonder that he was on edge--one wrong move could spell disaster.

"Hey!" Ray yelled as he approached the clearing again, finally having been shoved that way after Henry wrestled him away from something else interesting - another spoil of bear trap war. "Did you guys know there's a bunch of traps and a really sweet top hat in the woods?"

"Yeah, did you also know there's a massive doofus who keeps falling for them too?" (y/n) hissed as she moodily walked behind him, watching how her lover limped from the pain and weight of the metal that clung to his body. He did look cute in the top hat, though, like a huge dork that her heart couldn't help but sing for no matter how much he irritated her with his antics.

The doofus wasn't the only creature falling that night. The sweet girls were at it too.

~A while later~

After peeling Ray from the traps, a task that had required all of them working together and a monumental amount of effort, the plan to save Bigfoot was well underway.

The heroes were in their uniform, ready to pounce should this S. Thompson guy show up prematurely but apart from the electric anticipation in the air, things were smooth. 

Using one of his many contacts, Ray had brought in a large, steel booby trap, one that wasn't like one of those piddling little claw things that had got him. No, this was the real deal, something he'd used to trick criminals hundreds of times before. 

It was a box, spread out flat across the woodland floor and when lifted by several ropes, it trapped whoever was dumb enough to be standing on it like an animal. It was genius, apart from the fact that they had yet to camouflage it.

"Thanks," Jasper nodded at Henry, who had taken the time to laser off the hair on the boy's hands since they had a lick of free time now that most of the work was done. 

"Yeah, you got it," the sidekick smiled, glad to help out his buddy. Well, he'd mainly done it to stop his complaints, not to mention the fact that the sight of the ever-growing hairs was starting to freak him out.

"It was really hard to go to the bathroom with all of that hand hair."

"I don't wanna hear about it," Henry said quickly, recoiling at the image of Jasper doing stuff and then, stuff getting on things and...ew. He did not want to hear about that, too much information but it didn't deter Jasper, not at all. 

Sensing his friend's discomfort, he merely smiled and warmly patted his arm before walking off, mentioning something about enlightening poor Charlotte with his toilet troubles instead. She and (y/n) had been sent off on a very important mission whilst the guys did all of the heavy liftings with the trap; they were told to collect twigs and moss and leaves--that sort of thing--any material that would cover the metal sheets and blend it into the ground. 

"Hey, we got the pine needles you wanted to cover the trap!" Charlotte announced, shuffling back into the clearing with a fluffy mound of brown foliage. Twigs, moss and leaves weren't that easy to carry, but millions of pine needles could easily be scooped up, even if they didn't make them feel itchy and scratchy. 

Walking to the centre of the flat box, the girls dumped their loads, watching as it fluttered to the ground and covered about one per cent of the metal, which didn't help them. The needles clumped together, so all it was were two brown lumps on the ground, not the thick camo they were after.

"Oh my god, where'd the trap go?" Henry asked sarcastically, looking at the two who didn't respond well to his dry quip. He'd expected them to either bring more or at least try and spread it out, give them a bit more coverage, but frankly, it was a pathetic effort on their part.

"Seriously, sweet girl? That's all the pine needles you could get?" Ray turned to his fiancée, whose eyes narrowed at the prospect of him pointing the blame but he didn't sound mean or angry, just soft and questioning. Right, the others could be told off but never her--she was the one he was enchanted by.

"Well, doofus, we could've gotten more if maybe someone would've helped us. I don't know, maybe someone with floofy hair and thirty-two-inch biceps?" (y/n) replied frankly, her hands on her hips since she wasn't a miracle worker. 

If she was an octopus, she would've been able to carry eight times that amount, or if she was a magician, she could float them over, but she wasn't. She was just a superheroine who'd tripped a million times in her cute boots that were sadly not designed for rocky terrain and had a lover who'd been too busy strutting about like an egotistical peacock to help her and Charlotte.

"Don't worry, darlin'. I got you," he smirked and for a moment, she genuinely thought that she'd gotten through to him with her flirting and stroking of his ego but then, he had to go and ruin it, "Jasper! Schwoz! Go with Charlotte and Miss Danger and get more pine needles."

The boss had spoken and upon receiving his command, the boys and girl sloped off to go and scavenge for more needles, leaving (y/n) to give him a boring look. And people said chivalry was dead.

"Wow, Captain Man. Thanks a lot!" She exclaimed in a faux excited voice, turning lethargically on her heel but not before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. He might have pissed her off but she'd never leave without giving him one, otherwise, she'd never be able to concentrate on anything other than the knowledge that her doofus might not know how much she loved him. And she could never have that.

"So, what's the plan?" Bigfoot asked as the woman walked off to tell Jasper not to eat any unknown substances. It was his voice that broke Ray out of his trance, having been totally in a dream as he followed her figure until it had rounded the corner completely. What? What was that? Had he been thinking about her thighs again? Certainly not!

"We're gonna trap that jerk-bag hunter," Ray replied calmly. He still wasn't awed to be in Bigfoot's presence but he could tolerate him now that his system was clear and he had a job to focus on. 

"Yeahhhhh, Bigfoot likey!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, as soon as we spring the trap, Captain Man and I will pop out and he won't even remember that you're Bigfoot.

"Oh, solid plan!" The hairy man grinned as Henry explained what they were gonna do and it did sound pretty cool. The hunter couldn't hunt if he didn't know what he was hunting, which was what made it so clever, if only they were that too. After all, they were so busy chuckling that they didn't notice the predator circling them.

"How does this trap worked?" Biggie asked, distracting them yet again from their surroundings. The stalker in the bushes was good at his job as Bigfoot had described, so he knew how to muffle his footsteps and creep about in the shadows to the extent that not even the great Captain Man with all of his experience knew what was happening.

"Great question, 'Foot!"

"You're gonna stand right over there and when the hunter sees you, he's gonna be like, doo-do-doo-do-doo-do! There's Bigfoot!" Ray played it out, acting like an idiot as he scampered over to stand in the middle of the trap.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, he's gonna walk over and stand right here--this spot," Henry carried on, moving to stand next to his boss so they were adjacent to the pathetic pile of pine needles. They were so dumb; Thompson was standing right there and they didn't even know it, and neither did they see how huddling together was a really crap idea.

"Right here?"

"Mhmm, right where we're standing right now," Ray nodded to the other man, who was now in the centre of the box too, looking around intently but not that intently...or carefully.

"And then, Schwoz will hit a button and he'll spring the trap."

"This trap right here?" Bigfoot pointed to the metal under their feet, just to make sure he knew what they were planning. After all, it was his safety and everything.

"The same."

"The one we're standing over right now."

"And where is this button that springs the trap we're standing on right now?" Bigfoot asked, not realising that his biggest foe was eavesdropping on every word they were saying. It was like they wanted him to know how to outwit them or like they had a death wish because Thompson was getting some great tips on how to catch the beast he'd been after for so many years.

"Another great question, 'Foot. It is riiiiiiiggggghhhtt...there," Henry slurred, looking around for the button since he hadn't been paying attention when Schwox had been setting it up. He and Ray scanned the trees and surrounding bushes before their eyes landed on one big red button that had been nailed to a tree trunk. And that's when they finally noticed the man in the high-vis vest standing next to it. 

"Hey there, fella!" Ray suddenly said in a tight, chirpy voice that didn't soothe or fool Thompson. He knew a nervous person when he cornered one or three, including his prize.

"Would you mind stepping over here to the--" Too late. Nothing Ray could've said would have convinced Thompson to do anything but whack the button; he'd waited years to catch Bigfoot and now, he had him and he'd virtually walked into a trap set by himself. He wouldn't pass up that opportunity. Immediately, the trap was sprung and a series of pulleys above their heads pulled the walls up, magnetically locking the three in a solid steel box.

"Woo!" The hunters had become the hunted.

Inside, Ray pulled a portable light from his belt and stuck it to the wall, giving them light now that the moon was hidden due to the height of the metal. It wasn't great but at least they could sort of see.

"Okay, we need a new plan..." Henry hissed to his boss, who knew that it was just a question of what. They couldn't get out, not on their own and little did Thompson know but they had two teens and a weirdo and a hot superhero out in the woods as a backup. He knew what to do.

"Scream for help?"

"Scream for help." Henry nodded and instantly, the three bawled at the top of their lungs. The noise ricocheted out and into the night air as they begged for mercy, for someone to come get them and for the hunter to not hurt them--Ray even tried thumping on the walls to no avail. All that could be heard was that hillbilly celebrating his easiest victory ever.

"Woo! Gah! Yeeewoo! Finally got Bigfoot! Yeah, gah, you're in there, boy! Woo!" He screamed and banged his fist against the steel, causing Biggie to jump at the racket as his enemy taunted him. "I'm gonna call the news right now! That's right, I'm gonna be famous! I'm definitely gonna get married now..."

"Not before I do, buddy..." Ray muttered, fully aware that the asshole couldn't hear him but still. He wasn't gonna be carted off like some freak and fail his mission there had to be some way out, after all, he had a very important date to make at some point. And even so, he doubted that any girl would want to come in three feet of a man who wanted to poach innocent beings.

"Dude, he's calling the news. What are we gonna do?" Henry questioned worriedly and ignored the murmurings that fell from his boss' mouth. He was more concerned with their current predicament than whether Thompson thought he was God's gift to women or water.

"Oh, come on. Like the news is gonna pick up..." the hero scoffed at his sidekick's worries. Not to be mean or anything but S. Thompson was a bit of a weirdo and he doubted that the news would pay attention to him at all--if anything, this would be a wake-up call for him to get a proper job.

"This is the hunter, S. Thompson and I trapped Bigfoot. Bring your cameras, you can be the first people in the world to show pictures of him!" The hunter's hushed voice came from outside and quickly, Henry gave Ray the stink eye. He just had to jinx it, didn't he?

Yeah, the news was interested, they had very little else to do, so now, Mary, Trent and probably all the other creature fanatics in Swellview were headed their way. 

"He called the news! They're on the way!" Bigfoot exclaimed in a panicky voice. He was freaking out at the thought of being exposed to the world and from the sounds of it, he was near tears at the thought of being labelled a mutant, a sideshow freak. 

"Relax, 'Foot, I'm gonna laser us outta here," Ray told him soothingly as he plucked his controller from his belt. He'd had a great idea and hell, it had once been tried in a movie so it might work now, even if in that movie, the theory hadn't panned out.

"What? No, no, no, dude, it's diamond-plated steel--" Henry tried to warn him that firing a laser could have disastrous consequences but like always, Ray didn't listen. Schwoz and (y/n) had said something about the metal being extremely durable and resistant, so a silly laser wouldn't do a thing, not even a scratch, as they were about to see.

Ray fired a small shot, not at full strength but not a mild one either, but when it came into contact with the patch of walls above their heads, the plasma bounced. It another plate and another and another, ricocheting all around them until it burned a hole in Bigfoot's fur. 

"Ow!" He yelped in pain as the heat seared away all of the hair to leave his skin underneath smooth and pale. Definitely not one of Ray's best ideas.

"Maybe if I set this thing to kill..." he muttered, again not thinking with his head. Stupidly, he didn't make the connection that a stronger laser wouldn't help, all it would do was render one of them dead, so Henry would have to wrestle to stop him before something disastrous happened...or maybe not. He'd just had a brainwave.

"Hang on a second. Dude, dudedudedudedudedudedude--"

"What? What?" Ray looked at him, agitated from all of the pesterings. Seriously, that was as annoying as (y/n) begging him for a slurp of his drinks all of the time but without any of the butterflies.

"Dude, look at his arm," Kid Danger said, pointing to Biggie's right arm, the one that had been nicked by the rogue laser.

"Yeah, it's big, but mine are way bigger," the man replied, not seeing the significance of the other guy's arms when his were superb. Come on, they made Miss Danger swoon whenever he tensed them and so, that's what he did, flexed them to make them puff up into the physique that he was well-known for. 

"What? No, that's not what I'm--" the boy shook his head and got his boss to knock it off because his name wasn't (y/n) - thirty-two-inch biceps didn't work on him. "Look at the bald spot! It looks like he's got normal skin." He redirected his attention to the lasered spot, which kinda looked like Jasper's head had been after the unfortunate incident.

"So?" Ray shrugged again, not seeing why the kid was getting so pumped over silly old Bigfoot. 

"So, this might sound crazy but...what if we shave Bigfoot with our lasers?" Henry suggested, looking at Ray with a devious smirk. Hell yeah, it was crazy and kooky but they were desperate, so maybe they needed a bit of that. 

"Okay...love that," Ray was up for it anyway. After the Jasper incident, he'd discover that seeing someone with their hair gone was pretty funny and besides, Bigfoot was known for being hairy--what would the news crews do if they turned up to a pink blob and two superheroes? Probably nothing.

"Uh...I don't know, guys. My hair is kind of my thing," the hairy man said anxiously. He had some doubts, which was understandable but it might be their only option.

"Exactly! So, if we zap your hair off, when they open this up, it'll just be three totally normal, hairless dudes just chilling in the woods!" Henry explained. Honestly, Biggie didn't know if getting caught as a beast or as one of three guys in the woods was worst--the boy did make it sound a bit weird, especially when he and Ray did their weird little hand-wiggle thing.

"Hairless boys!"

"Exactly!" They grinned and did their little high-pitched tongue noises as their fingers wiggled together before looking at the man expectantly.

"Uh, I don't know..." Bigfoot debated, sounding unsure since it had taken him a long time to get to be the walking carpet he was now. How long would it be until he got his hirsute splendour back? But then...

"Woo! Ya hear that? The news is comin'! Yeah, the world is finally gonna know the name of the hunter, S. Thompson! You're mine now, ya big, smelly hairbag!" The obnoxious poacher's voice came from outside and the southern drawl sent a shiver down Bigfoot's spine. Right, he had to remember the alternative and what would happen to him if he didn't lose his hair. It didn't bear thinking about.

"Be gentle..." Finally, he came to a decision; the hair had to go. At least if they set it to a weaker setting then the beam wouldn't be as strong or painful, and so, with the devices turned down low, Henry and Ray got to work. Biggie's eyes were squeezed shut as green light began to glide across his fur, taking it away bit by bit. 

It was just hair. It would grow back. Being bald was temporary, being trapped and experimented on was forever.

~Deeper in the woods~

Whilst all of that had been going on with the boys, (y/n) had been traipsing after Schwoz, Charlotte and Jasper for what seemed like forever. 

The boy kept seeing bright plants and flowers that he liked the look of--plants and flowers that (y/n) could swear were poisonous so she had a job keeping him alive as they each collected large armfuls of pine needles until they could carry no more. 

They'd been at it for a good ten minutes, surely, they had enough to satisfy Ray and cover the trap, besides, Charlotte and Jasper could swear that she was getting antsier the longer she was away from her doofus. Stupid love, it made them so silly.

"Hey, I got more pine needles for the trap!"

"Me too!" The girls shouted as they came stumbling back from different routes, having decided that foraging in different clearings would be the best idea. Schwoz was already stood at the meeting point and like them, could barely see over his collection it was that plentiful.

"Okay, just put them over there by the bush--" he instructed them, thinking that they were gonna return to the campsite in a moment but he didn't expect them to just dump their loads on him. As if he was some sort of pack mule, Charlotte dumped her needles on top of his and because of that, (y/n) copied her, believing that he'd kindly offered to carry them so their arms wouldn't get all itchy.

"Wait, wait, that is not--" His protests came too late and then, Jasper returned as well with yet more pine needles.

"Comin' in with needles!" He shouted, carrying another million or so and Charlotte knew exactly what to do with them, after all, they weren't heavy or anything.

"Oh, give 'em to Schwoz."

"No, do not do that!" the genius protested, thinking that he could barely see as it was, he didn't want more needles on top of him. But Jasper had a problem, one that hadn't been taken care of earlier when Henry kindly volunteered to trim his hand hair because, for the most part, it had been forgotten about.

"I can't hear with all this ear hair!" Jasper yelled at an unnecessary volume and now that they looked, the girl could see that he had long tufts of hair sprouting from inside his ears. Schwoz had said not to itch them and Henry hadn't lasered them, so he was having a hard time listening to anything--including himself.

"Give--your--pine needles--to Schwoz!" (y/n) shouted directly into his ear, hoping that she was being loud enough to penetrate the long strands. Jasper strained to catch every word and nodded as he got the just of it, much to the small man's displeasure.

"Okay!"

"Wait! Don't--arghh!" he groaned as the final pile was added and whilst one small bundle weighed practically nothing, added together, it was quite hefty, enough to make him feel a slight strain. "I know my muscles are huge but--

"Hey, guys!" A voice suddenly came from the right to cut off Schwoz. He couldn't see who it was but for (y/n), Jasper and Charlotte, it was highly familiar--Piper. (y/n) squeaked at the thought of her seeing Miss Danger in the woods, fraternising with two teens who she wasn't supposed to know and in a split second of panic, she froze and looked for a place to hide as the girl approached.

"Someone caught Bigfoot in a trap--bye!" And like that, she was gone. Piper didn't even register that a gobsmacked heroine had been in the clearing, as well as a walking haystack so it was a surreal experience until the panic set in again for a whole different reason.

"Wait, what did she say?" Schwoz asked, not having heard the shocking news above the rustling of the pine needles. Plus, it was kinda hard to believe it since they were trying to do the reverse.

"Someone taught Bigfoot how to rap!" Jasper replied loudly, getting nearly all of the words wrong thanks to his hairy ears. To be fair, Piper had only been present for all of three seconds and Charlotte had (y/n) barely caught it, so he was at a disadvantage.

"No! Someone--caught--Bigfoot--in a trap!" Charlotte yelled, sounding out each word as the heroine had done earlier so he had time to catch them. Well, that didn't sound good at all, especially since if Bigfoot was trapped, then something must've happened to Ray and Henry too. Oh, god...

"We need to get back there!" (y/n) breathed out and gestured for the kids to run after her as a chill ran down her body. Her sweet doofus, Henry, Biggie, something must've happened, so she took off running with the teens hot on her heels as Schwoz floundered with the now useless needles.

"Wait, what about the pine needles?" He called after them.

"Who cares?!" Charlotte screamed over her shoulder and by that point, she was already gone by the time Schwoz said that he did. Miss Danger would have a heart attack if anything happened to her companions, especially her soulmate, but the genius was more concerned about what they had spent so long collecting. 

But he didn't have to think about it for long because as he worried about what to do with them, a large, grumbling man emerged from the bushes, heading straight for him. In his drunken state, the man collided with Schwoz, coating himself with the needles that for some reason stuck to him like glue and when he roared from the pain, Schwoz took off running.

He knew a monster when he saw one, even if that monster looked strangely familiar, so he left it to gurgle and claw at the fuzz clinging to his skin so he could make a break for it and catch up with the others.

~

In the clearing, things had started to heat up.

True to their word to S. Thompson, the news and all of their helicopters, crews and the genuine desk had turned up for the big report, one that would make the hunter famous once and for all. Trent and Mary were here and as soon as the cameras started rolling, he'd spring it for them to see, for the entire world to see.

Not only that, but a group of enthusiasts and local busybodies had arrived, hoping to catch a glimpse of the real-life Bigfoot in the man's trap, so their phones were ready for the big moment, whenever that would come.

"This is insane..." (y/n) grumbled to Charlotte and Jasper, her arms folded as she watched the news desk be lowered from the helicopter for Trent and Mary to sit at. 

There had been a few murmured whispers about why Miss Danger had suddenly stormed onto the scene with her face like thunder and two teenagers and a weirdo following her but she was too worried to pay attention. Apparently, Bigfoot was in their trap, which had worked perfectly only on the wrong people, and she just knew that her doofus was stuck in there too--the doofus.

"That's good, Rick!" Trent shouted to the helicopter pilot once the desk was firmly on the ground for her and Mary to sit at.

"Did I miss Bigfoot?" Piper asked Mitch Bilsky, who had indeed been the terrified camper spooked by Biggie earlier. The girl had been slowed down by her dad, who'd gotten lost somewhere along the way after eating some poisonous fungus, but she'd left him behind when the whir of the helicopter sounded above her head. Bigfoot was more important.

"Nah, that guy's about to reveal him right now," Mitch replied, pointing to Thompson as he loitered around the trap, "I'm gonna get a video of me looking at his feet going, what are those?!"

"If I could have everyone's attention!" The hunter announced and looked to the crowd where Mitch was being so immature, "I'd like to give a little speech." He said tenderly, annoying the buzzing crowd who weren't much for mushy sentimentality.

"Websters defines a hero as a big sandwich...but if you look a little further down--"

"Just open it up, ya gunch!" Mitch yelled, interrupting the dumb speech that was in no way relevant or tearjerking. For once, (y/n) was grateful for his big mouth and shuffled from one foot to another as the seconds lagged. She didn't want to hear some shit about sandwiches when her friends and lover were trapped inside and about to be revealed to the world.

"Fine, I'll open it," Thompson huffed, annoyed that his glorious moment as a hero had been shot down, but the best was yet to come as he grabbed the trap's release. 

"Behold! Bigfoot!" he cried and the walls fell into their original flat position. As (y/n) had predicted, Ray and Henry had indeed gotten trapped with Bigfoot, caught by that dumbass hunter but along with the heroes was a being who blew her mind. 

The cameras flashed as everyone gawked at the guy who was supposedly Bigfoot, but he wasn't. What had been fur was now smooth, pale skin that had seen little sunlight and the teens, (y/n) and Schwoz gasped as they saw Biggie looking like a proper man. His hair and beard were clipped, as were his torso and legs save for a section around his butt that had been kept furry to save his modesty. Honestly, they were just two heroes and a guy in furry pants, what was epic about that?

"Hey, everybody!"

"Hi, people of Swellview..." Ray and Henry greeted the crowd awkwardly as Bigfoot held his breath and tried not to shiver from the newfound cold. Ray turned to wink at his sweet girl, who sighed with relief when she saw that they were all okay but he wasn't able to quell her questioning look, not without tipping off the crowd that they were in the middle of a scheme.

"Trent, Mary, how's it goin'?"

"How are you?" They then turned to news crews, who looked equally perplexed because they had been expecting Bigfoot, not the crimefighters and some random big guy with weird fashion sense. S. Thompson had gone strangely pale and quiet as he took in his prize--or lack thereof--and he couldn't work out what had happened.

"So...where's Bigfoot?" Trent asked, searching the scene but coming up empty. God, he hated hoaxes.

"He's there! He's right there, look!" S. Thompson snapped, pointing directly at Biggie, who merely appeared shrewd and harmless at such an indictment, turning around as if he was just another curious onlooker--just how Ray and Henry had told him to act. If he looked in a mirror, he wouldn't recognise himself, let alone the fanatics and journalists around them, who always saw Bigfoot in one specific light.

"Who, Eddie? This is just our friend, Eddie," Captain Man lied, brushing away the hunter's accusations with faux innocence and his signature trustworthy persona. Everyone believed their favourite heroes because they loved them so much and their cunning made Charlotte, Jasper, (y/n) and Schwoz smirk at each other.

"Hi, I'm Eddie!" Bigfoot waved to the baffled crowd with a big grin on his face. They were confused but didn't suspect a thing; perfect.

"Yeah, and Eddie here, he--he likes to wear...hair shorts."

"Which are a real thing!" Henry said and was quickly backed up by Ray when everyone's gaze fell to Bigfoot's curious attire. Well, they couldn't leave him naked and from a distance, they just looked like a peculiar garment; it wouldn't be the first time Swellview had been hit by weird fashions, the hip youth was always doing odd stuff.

"Whoa...I never heard of no hair shorts," Thompson protested, glaring at the heroes as they tried to slip his prize out from under his nose. He knew the truth, he could smell Bigfoot after so many years of studying and he wasn't going to let them convince the crowd otherwise.

"Well, I have!" (y/n) abruptly exclaimed, crossing the clearing to come and stand in between Henry and her doofus, bringing with her an opinion that the citizens of Swellview could never refuse. 

Miss Danger was often spotted in every magazine going, whether they be gossip or fashion because everyone wanted to know what she thought or wore or liked, so if she put her seal of approval on hair shorts then they would be in every boutique in the city before the next sunrise. 

"Yeah, I've heard of hair shorts and I think that they are the coolest. I have so many pairs at home!" She lied through her beaming smile as Ray stood smugly next to her and put his arm around her waist. She smiled at that, feeling her heart flutter now that she knew he was safe and sound, even if the camera flashes meant that they'd be headlining the news again as the city's hottest couple.

"Did you hear? Miss Danger says that hair shorts are the coolest!" Charlotte repeated to the crowd in a robotic voice like she was an avid fan eager to follow the heroine's way of life to a tee.

"Yeah! And she's an influencer so hair shorts have to be cool!" Jasper carried on, sending the crowd into a hush of whispers because that's how society worked in the modern era. Celebrities were the leaders and the mere mortal public were the sheep and none could be prouder than Ray as he stood on the arm of the hottest woman in town.

"I--I mean, those are the rules," Piper acknowledged. She was an internet loiterer, constantly checking and refreshing every app and website going for new trends and gossip, so she'd know what to do if one of her idols said something; follow it to the letter.

"Come on, guys. Let's go get some hair shorts!" Mitch smirked at his pack of buffoons, showing that the pack mentality was starting to work--hair shorts would be popular come tomorrow afternoon. And that did not please Thompson.

"No, wait! Don't leave!" he begged the crowd, who were beginning to lose interest now that they knew that Bigfoot was still a mystery and he a loony. "Y'all, that's Bigfoot and I found him! And I'm gonna get married!"

"Fat chance of that..." (y/n) said under her breath so only Ray and Henry could hear her. The man chuckled at her response that was along the lines of his and it was when he had pressed his lips to her temple joyfully that something came stumbling out of the undergrowth.

The crowd gasped as a hulking, moaning creature staggered into the clearing, looking like it had been in a fight with a dead bush and lost, and sounding like it was in pain--kinda like Bigfoot. He was hairy, sort of, and animalistic in his manner, so they snapped a few pictures for evidence of what was actually Mr Hart covered in a load of sap, pine needles from Schwoz, whilst slightly high from the moss that he'd eaten by mistake.

"That's Bigfoot!" Mary cried from the desk, pointing at the terrifying monster as it snarl at the stunned crowd, who quickly descended into madness as they saw what looked like a creature from a fairytale. 

As the disorientated man swayed, they charged, eager to get a hold of Bigfoot and Mr Hart ran for his life, the bleariness in his eyes making it difficult until they were all lead away from the trap. And that left the Man Cave team and "Eddie" alone at last.

"Well, that just about wraps it up," Ray said with a clap of his hands and he could honestly say that he was ready to go home. He had unfinished business with his sweet girl and the idea of falling asleep with her as they watched movies in the bed sounded heavenly.

"So..." Henry nodded, knowing that there wasn't much else for them to do now that all of the hunters were on the wrong trail and they'd met Schwoz's friend as they had set out to do. "You guys wanna go back to the Man Cave and watch Will & Grace?"

"Season two?" Biggie asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Henry giggled and the man and boy bumped fists as everyone agreed that the plan couldn't be better. Well, that would (y/n) and Ray down to the ground, they'd fall asleep watching anything, in their room or not in their room, as long as they could cuddle, which they inevitably would. 

"Let's go!" (y/n) grinned and ushered them all to get moving so they could leave all of the drama behind. However, as the teens, Schwoz and Bigfoot turned to go, Ray's eyes wandered and spotted something shiny and interesting yet again. There were so many traps yet for him to discover...so many things for him to take.

"Ooooh, look. Some cheese titos!" he smirked deviously and wiggled his fingers, indicating that he was gonna swipe them for a binge-watching snack. He would never learn his lesson, no matter how many times he hurt himself or had his fingers smacked by his precious girl.

"What? No, dude, no!" Henry tried to stop him, not wanting to go through the same struggle again but this time, (y/n) was willing to let Ray learn for himself. After all, once bitten twice shy, right?

"No, kid, just let him. Sadly, this is the only way he'll learn," she sighed and held a hand out for him to stay where he was. He was her doofus and she loved him but she wasn't going to spend their lives together running around to wrap him in cotton wool. He couldn't be an idiot forever, he'd soon learn to keep his hands to himself.

"These things are cheesetastic!" Ray grinned and reached down to grab the bag as he kept smiling at his tired fiancée. He'd just get these and then, they could go because of course, he wasn't aware that he was the one tiring her out with his antics. 

"ARGGGGGGHHHHH!" And then came the pain. The claw closed on his hand as the others had and it was like his hand was being ripped off constantly but refusing to let go of his wrist. "Crunchy snacks, that smarts!"

His friends cringed but as the pain passed, they assumed that he'd hobble back to (y/n)'s side to lick his wounds and seek her comfort, but no. In true Ray fashion and despite his silent promise, the hero looked to his left and saw something else, another doohickey that he fancied, and he figured that one more trinket could hurt. Traps could hurt, though, and hearing him in pain was even worse for some.

"Hey, look! A cane! That'll go perfect with my top hat!" he noted as he ate a chip and felt so giddy about the idea of being a pristine gentleman for his sweet girl that he skipped off to go and retrieve it. At this rate, they'd never go home, not until he was immobilised by metal and carrying a bag full of worthless tat.

"Or...he'll never learn." the heroine lamented, burying her face in her hands as Ray went off again...and got trapped again. Did he not know that he was breaking her heart and tearing down every word she said in his defence? She could get him titos if he wanted and she didn't need him to dress up, dressing down was preferable and now, he was a bigger doofus than ever.

"Ow! Puttin' on the Ritz, that hurts!"

"Are you sure you wanna marry him? It's not too late to run for it, y'know..." Charlotte retorted to the woman, who didn't take any offence from her words. She was joking, that was clear, the girl would never ruin the relationship that she helped to forge, but it had to be said yet again. 

They were so different and him so difficult--did she really want to sign herself up for a lifetime of that?

"You don't know my doofus like I do. He's a massive idiot and he drives me insane but he's my massive idiot. I wouldn't have it any other way... I love him."

Hell yeah, she did.