#highest self vision | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seraphicsentences · 3 months

Text

you told me your new man don��t make you nut, that’s a damn shame.

closeted/in denial abby anderson x reader

pt.2 here: all mine

tags: internalized homophobia, smut, cheating, tw:owen, fingering (aa!receiving), lowkey sub!aa

A/N: we do not condone cheating here! unless it’s on owen fuck that asshole. sorry i disappeared for 100 years!! hope this is half-decent enough to make up for it. working on reqs i promise!!!! i love you all my sweet angels <333

please click me!!!

it was undeniable— the tension, between you and abby anderson. your queer sexuality was common knowledge amongst the WLF base, and your reputation as a womanizer quite contributory to the hot topic. on the complete opposite of the spectrum stood abby: top soldier, with the highest leading score in kills, and most importantly, dutiful girlfriend to owen moore.

where she stood on the line of homosexuality was made evidently clear. from the way she scoffed under her breath at the sight of your marked-up one night stands, to her weekly mornings at the base’s sunday service, you had found an almost masochistic pleasure in ticking her off to your best efforts.

you would catch yourself throwing offhand comments towards your latest hookups when she was in ears range. “my dick’s better than any man’s, isn’t that right, baby?”

in the mere corner of your peripheral vision you would see abby’s jaw tighten, gaze hard as she refused to look your way— her own sort of defiance to your antics. a haughty smirk threatened to break across your face. you couldn’t exactly place your finger on as to why you were so enamored with her understated reactions, rather than focused on the pretty, blushing girl in front of you. it became a thrill you craved insatiably, and built up as a wall between you two over the years, bound to come tumbling sooner or later.

mid-summer now, the longer days and better hunt called for a compulsory celebration. wlf’s central lounge was buzzing with drunken chatter and alight with the golden hue of mini lamp lights.

your childish bickering with abby hadn’t lessened up any bit, and to much of your delight, had begun to stir up more volatile reactions of hers as they’ve persisted.

you sat across her now, separated by only a couple foot’s distance and a beer bottle, which lay empty and flat on its side.

“spin the bottle? what are we, twelve?” abby scoffed at the idea.

she sat crisscrossed, forearms resting atop her legs, muscles straining against her tight grey shirt, and you couldn’t help but wonder how she, the very picture of masc, was so adamantly straight.

“aw, scared, anderson?” you grinned devilishly.

she physically recoiled, as if the very thought of being intimidated by someone like you burned her mind. haughty self satisfaction coursed through your veins, sick pleasure in knowing you could get under her skin so easily. running your eyes salaciously down her figure, you watched as she shifted nervously. cute.

“es solo un juego, abby,” manny says, shrugging.

“whatever,” she replies, “just get on with it.”

as the rounds go by, you can’t help but take note of the way abby awkwardly averts her gaze from whichever two lucky partakers kiss, no matter the duo. scoffing, she teasingly mouths ‘pendejo’ after manny stupidly grins into his third kiss of the night. you watch her smile disappear in a brief second when the your turn arises.

eye contact unwavering, you stare down abby as the bottle whirls around, waiting for it to select its next target. you can’t quite understand why your heart feels like it’s racing out of your chest the closer the bottlehead gets to nodding the blonde’s direction.

it inches closer. slower now.

a person away— and it stops.

…on the pretty girl next to abby.

abby releases a harsh breath you didn’t realize she was holding, chest rising slowly as she catches some air. you blink.

you cross the short distance between the two of you crawling, abby eyeing you down, before swerving your course of action in the last moment to land yourself in front of the girl next to her. without a moment’s hesitation you tug her in for a kiss, or no, multiple kisses as you tongue the girl down hungrily. she groans into it with a matched eagerness, desperate to get a dose of your infamous mouth.

your eyes flicker open between kisses, expecting to get an eyeful of the top of the blonde’s head, but you’re met with quite the opposite. the piercing stare of none other than abby anderson sends a chill down your spine. her breath hitches— she looks like she’s been fucking caught. and as tempting as the girl in front of you is, you can’t tear your gaze away from her.

you begin to dominate what is now a full-blown makeout session, eyes darkened, breaths unsteady, hands pulling. she just watches, bound to the floor. you watch her watch. and you want her to want it.

you pull away with a final tug on the girl’s bottom lip, feeding off the way abby’s eyes follow the action. someone wolf-whistles in the background, but, even flustered now, you can’t shake the undeniable tension between yourself and abby.

the rhythmic thumping of blood rushing through your skull acted rather as a barrier between your awareness and the continuing rounds. thankfully, you were left as a mere onlooker, free of any further unwanted attention.

abby had gone back to staring at her lap, you discovered, watching intently as she picked a stray hair off her jeans.

“hey anderson,” you called over, her reaction immediate— head jolting up.

her eyes relaxed to a glare once she realized you were the one addressing her, raising an eyebrow in question.

“i think it’s ‘bout your turn, yeah?”

“you fu-“

“solo un juego, abby,” manny cuts in.

with a huff, abby begrudgingly leans over to give the bottle a spin, tapping her fingers against the floor in anticipation.

the bottle stops. so does your heart, for just a second.

you look up. abby looks to owen. the fucking son of a bitch lends no help, smirking, excited that his perverted fantasies have come to life before his eyes.

“c’mon then,” you nod at her, leaning back on your wrists, almost in invitation.

she moves slowly, braid dangling by her shoulder as she scooches towards you, hands coming to a stop on the floor in front of you.

closer now, you can feel the heat radiating off her large figure onto your own, the light brush of her breaths intermingling with your own. yet— she makes no move to get any closer.

you loop a finger around her neckline and drag her in, teeth clashing from the aggression, noses bumping; it’s no fairytale kiss. but then your tongue licks into her open mouth, perhaps merely by muscle memory, or maybe because you secretly want a taste of more, and she fucking whimpers. so quiet, strangled, from the back of her throat, but you hear it nonetheless, and god, you feel it.

the switch up is almost immediate: abby pulling away faster than you can blink, back in her original spot before you know it, wiping at her mouth. but she was too late. you knew what she craved, and you were going to make sure she’d have to beg for it.

the party was in full swing now, majority of the room drunk off of wlf’s own brew, which meant everyone was completely fucked up.

you stumbled over to the serving area, leaning haphazardly over the bar to scan the room without falling over. your eyes caught onto a familiar blonde, seated quietly with a group composed of what you assumed to be her usual patrol friends. she’s seated next to owen, the fucker, who has his arm lazily swung around the skank sprawled on the other side of him. your eyes are glued to the visible scrunch between abby’s eyebrows, fingers itching to reach out and press it away.

“who’s the lucky girl you’re sinking your claws into tonight?”

your head swivels towards the voice, met with a concerned look from alex, wlf’s residential mixologist.

“…you good, babe?”

“fuck— yeah, just got a lit, a little dizzy for sec. the answer to, uh- to, your question is no one,” you hiccuped, grinning up at alex as you rested your head against the cold counter.

“uh-huh, sure. i’ll let you have your secrets. i won’t pry,” she quips.

you laugh, miming an imaginary lock over your lips before tossing the ‘key’ away. “what can i say? i’m a gentleman, alex, no, gentlewoman. i don’t kiss and te-“

you’re cut off by another voice approaching the counter, low and slurring, asking for a glass of straight whiskey.

you roll your head over, faced with the towering frame of none other than abby anderson. she’s closer than you expected her to be, causing you to stumble back a step, and then laugh at yourself, muttering under your breath, straight whiskey for the straight girl.

“i think you’ve had well enough, anderson. even with all the muscle on you, man, i don’t know how you got this hammered. i’ll get you some water, honey,” alex jokes.

abby sulks, spacing out as she begrudgingly sips on her water. you doubt she even notices your presence, using the accidental peace as time to really take in her side profile. she’s stunning, in her own, amazonian sort of way. especially now in the hazy golden light of the lounge, the sweaty blonde strands framing her face made her appear in rather close resemblance to a goddess of some type. and all you wanted was to worship her in that manner, treat her body as your temple and such. perhaps the alcohol really was getting to you.

“what’s got you all pouty, anderson? your little boyfriend not doing you any good?”

it’s so comical, the effect your presence has on abby. her head jerks your way at the first breath of your words, and her pinning gaze blows away any of the fog clouding either of your minds.

her demeanor hardens instantly, as she crosses her arms defensively. “fuck off,” is all she manages to spit out.

you take it as an invitation to continue. “like,” you scoff, “there’s no way he knows how to hit all the right spots. does he even try to? how’s his head game, abs?”

her look away speaks volumes.

“oh? god, what a dick.”

“he-“ she tries.

“-i could show you a good time,” you ramble, “i can assure you that i know how to hit all the right spots. your spots— i mean, only if you want me to.”

she gawks at you, her look half full of disbelief and half full of curiosity. and you can tell that you’ve got her hooked.

“i don’t need you,” she mutters, but a glance at her thighs pressed tight together says otherwise.

you smirk, placing your hand down that just so happens to land on her mid-thigh. her muscle jolts at your contact.

tentatively dragging your fingers higher, you speak lowly, stare locked, “you sure, baby?”

the wall comes crashing.

abby’s snatching your hand off her leg in a heartbeat and dragging you into the closest bathroom, shoving you against the door and pushing her lips against yours.

your tongue is dipping into her open mouth almost immediately, desperate to pull another one of her addicting whimpers out.

“shit,” abby curses in between gasps, before leaning back in to just consume more of you. her hands are searching for any part of you she can reach, grabbing at the meat at your hips, thighs, pressing your waist against hers with a groan.

the feel of your body against her own is so different from owens’, but so satisfying in a way she can’t wrap her head around. you fit into her frame like a puzzle piece, and your touches are needy and selfish, but they don’t feel offensive in the way that owen’s do.

you venture a hand under her shirt, tracing along the ridges of her toned stomach, and abby shudders, breaking your kiss to look down at your moving hand. she’s panting against your neck, heavier now, as you slide your hand up under her bra to cup her chest softly, rolling her hardened nipple between your fingers and watching hypnotically as she gasps into your skin.

with her head down at this angle, her neck is perfectly bared, and you can’t deny yourself a taste, can you? you’re sinking your teeth in before you realize it, soothing the marks with a wet lick over, only to tug the skin in between your teeth to suck at.

the quiet noises abby’s trying to muffle against your shoulder now are sending you into a frenzy, your hands now abandoning her breasts to pull her hips closer against yours.

abby nearly cries at the loss of your direct touches, but stops when your fingers return a place far more rewarding. you’ve unbuttoned her jeans now, your hand cupping her over her boxers teasingly, digits pressing over the damp spot in the fabric.

“bet you’ve never been this wet for owen,” you laugh, running a finger over her soaked core.

“don’t bring him up right now,” she pants in return, hips keening to your touch as she grabs your face to press into a sloppy kiss.

you push her boxers down eagerly, teasing two fingers by her leaking entrance to gather her slick.

god, abby gasps, and it seems to be the winning word of the night when she repeats it as she watches you stuff those same two fingers into your own mouth, and again when you stuff them straight into her pussy.

her pretty eyes are rolling back into her skull farther with every thrust against her gummy walls. “look at me while i fuck you dumb on my fingers, abs, look at me,” you beg.

“i c-can’t,” she whines, blushing a deep red and burrowing her face into your shoulder.

you slow your pumps, using your free hand to grab her by the braid and force her look at you. “awh,” you coo, pouting mockingly at her gaped mouth, “cute.”

your fingers buried as deep into her as physically possible, you curl them to hit that sensitive spot you genuinely believe has never even been touched once. and with the way abby lets out her loudest moan yet, you cannot believe otherwise.

“there it is,” you murmur, massaging your fingertips agonizingly slow inside of her, “see what you’re missing out on?”

her only response is a strangled whimper. baby blue eyes big and pleading as they threaten to roll back with every slight movement.

mhm, you goad her on, “that’s your g-spot, baby, feels real good, huh?”

she nods her head vigorously, quiet mhmmhmhm’s trailing out from her bitten lips.

“now if your little boyfriend’s dick is too small to reach it, i guess he can’t help it,” you laugh. “shame, you make such pretty noises when i touch you here,” you let out an exaggerated sigh, picking up your pace abruptly to slam into her spot over and over.

abby’s nearly gone cross-eyed, tossing her head back now as her pussy throbs almost rhythmically with every thrust. she’s never felt so filled to the brim, so overwhelmed with pleasure, and she’s too blissed out to even care about the stupid fucking smirk you’ve got plastered on your face.

“but his mini- dick is no excuse for not touching you here,” you continue, letting loose of her hair to finally touch her poor, neglected, pink clit, rubbing circles harshly into the button.

abby’s heart nearly jumps out of her chest. she’s moaning nonstop and swearing like a fucking sailor, the combination of your actions almost too much for her to physically bear. after a particularly loud oh god, fuck-please, you have no choice but to stuff abby’s mouth full with the bottom of her shirt. and fuck, was that the right move; the way her ab muscles flex and tighten as she nears her release, glistening with sweat, is enough to make you let out a groan of your own.

“‘m- close,” abby cries around the fabric, hips rocking with your motions as she begins to ride out her high.

“there you go anderson, you got it,” you mutter, circling her swollen clit faster now as you fuck into her g-spot repeatedly.

mmmmph is all you can make out, as abby’s walls clamp down around your curled fingers and she digs her nails into your sides, eyes squeezing shut.

her jerking movements eventually slow along with your own, half lidded eyes staring as you slip your cum-coated fingers into your mouth, sucking them clean. the moistened fabric falls from abby’s open jaw as she attempts to catch her breath, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

before you know it, she’s tugging up her soaked boxers and jeans, shoving past you as she buttons them up and promptly bolts out of that bathroom.

well, that was one way to deal with the tension.

she’ll come running back to you before she knows it.

yikes! i just read that over and yikes! lol uh! sorry guys i’m out of practice!! we love abby anderson though and pray that she gets over her internalized homophobia. she’s too sexy for allat.

send me more reqs!! not that i need any more but send ‘em!

2K notes · View notes

allaboutthemoonlight · 3 months

Text

Becoming the “It” girl: using science to redefine your identity

Hello friends,

A longer post today but I’m excited about this one!

I like to define an "It Girl" as someone who embodies the highest version of oneself, a created identity that reflects your most aspirational qualities and personal vision of success and confidence.

However, this post isn’t bout conforming to standards or expectations but rather embodying the best version of who you imagine yourself to be.

Today, I wanted to talk about how social science-based principles like self-presentation, cognitive dissonance, and identity alignment can help u become an“It Girl” in our own lives and achieve the identity you’ve been desiring.

What is identity

Our identity impacts all areas of our life; it’s the person we think we are and how we communicate that to others.

For example, if you see yourself as confident and capable, you are more likely to approach challenges with a positive attitude and take risks that lead to growth.

On the other hand, if you view yourself as unworthy, you are more likely to shy away from opportunities and not reach your full potential.

Our identity manifests as how we present ourselves to the world, including our body language, communication styles, and behavior.

In addition, our identities are constantly changing as we grow and evolve, influenced by our experiences, goals, and relationships with the people around us. This is why it’s important to continue to refine your personal brand and set standards for yourself to stay authentic.

Taking the time to evaluate our current identity and identifying areas where we can make changes is a good way to get aligned with our highest selves. We can ask ourselves questions such as:

How do I describe myself in three words?

What are my core values and beliefs?

How do I typically respond to challenges and setbacks?

What are my strengths and weaknesses?

How do I feel about my abilities and potential for success?

How do I present myself to others in social and professional settings?

What is my body language like in different situations (e.g., confident, reserved)?

How do I communicate with others (e.g., assertive, passive, aggressive)?

What kind of feedback do I receive from others about my behavior and attitude?

Do my actions align with the person I want to be?

How do I handle criticism and praise?

What goals do I have for personal and professional growth?

What is Self-Presentation?

Self-presentation involves the things we do to portray a particular image of ourselves; it’s how we dress, speak, behave, and present ourselves in different contexts. Our self-presentation is closely linked to our identity because it shapes how others perceive us, which can influence how we see ourselves.

Projecting the identity we want and living by our values and beliefs requires consistent management of our self-presentation. Our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions should reflect those of the identity we’re internalizing.

For example, if your identity is someone who is stylish, you’ll want to curate your wardrobe in a way that reflects that. In a similar context, if your new identity is someone who’s highly education you might start to spend some of your free time reading books, articles, newsletters, etc.

It’s all about helping to align how others see us with how we see ourselves.

Although other people’s opinions shouldn’t dictate our lives, a big part of our identity is shaped by how others view us. Their feedback can either affirm or refute what we’ve internalized to be true.

Here are some techniques for mastering self-presentation and how they can be used to access your highest self:

Dress in a way that reflects your identity, curate a wardrobe that matches who you aspire to be

Use confident body language, such as maintaining eye contact and standing/sitting upright in social settings

Practice speaking with clarity and confidence

Clean up your social media and only follow content that aligns with your identity or helps keep you on track

Establish and maintain boundaries without people in your life that reflect your values and priorities

Invest in personal and professional development through courses, workshops, and reading

Surround yourself with people and environments that support and reflect your highest self/new identity

Regularly express gratitude and maintain a positive outlook

Questions to evaluate and improve self-presentation

What are my core values and how do they influence my behavior?

How do I want others to perceive me?

Does my current wardrobe reflect the person I want to be?

What body language habits can I improve to appear more confident?

How can I improve my communication skills to better align with my desired identity?

In what ways can I be more consistent in how I present myself across different contexts?

What feedback have I received about my self-presentation, and how can I use it to improve?

Am I living in a way that aligns with my highest self, or are there areas where I can improve?

What actions can I take today to better project the identity I want?

How can I ensure my actions are authentic and reflect my true self?

How cognitive dissonance impacts us

Rebranding yourself and changing your identity involves leaving your old life behind. It sounds simple, but it can be very a mentally exhausting change. This is where cognitive dissonance comes into effect.

Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort experienced when our actions conflict with our beliefs or values. If we’re not acting in accordance with our beliefs, we’ll end up with mental discomfort. As a result, we either end up changing our habits or our beliefs.

For example, if you see yourself as an active person but keep skipping the gym, high dissonance might make you change your belief instead of your habit. You might start telling routinely yourself, "It's just this once," rather than actually going.

This may sound stressful and prove to be a challenge during your rebrand. However, dissonance can play a positive role if you’ve strongly internalized a core aspect of your identity. For example, if you see yourself as someone health-conscious or someone who frequents the gym, you’ll consistently find ways to show that this is true, whether that’s going to the gym daily or meal prepping.

In terms of identity formation, when we highlight inconsistencies between our self-perception and our actions, we actually push towards more aligned behavior.

When we recognize that our actions don’t align with who we believe we are, we can use that discomfort to motivate positive change.

In combination with the tips previously mentioned, we can also:

Regularly evaluate our actions and beliefs to identify any discrepancies. Ask ourselves if our behavior aligns with our values and goals

Define specific, actionable steps that align with our desired identity. This can help create a guideline for behavior that supports us

Be willing to accept change and continue to grow and learn more about ourselves

So how can we apply these principles to become an “It Girl”

Define our "It Girl" identity:

Self-reflection: take time to reflect on who you want to be. Write down the qualities, values, and behaviors that define your highest self

Vision board: create a vision board (physical or digital) with images, words, and quotes that represent your ideal identity so that you’re constantly reminded of your goal

Align your self-presentation:

Wardrobe audit: go through your closet and sort items that don’t align with your desired identity. Also invest in pieces that make you feel confident and reflect your new persona

Body language: practice positive body language such as standing tall, maintaining eye contact in conversations

Use cognitive dissonance to your advantage:

Identify inconsistencies: regularly assess your actions and identify areas where they don’t align with your desired identity

Set goals: create specific, actionable goals to address these inconsistencies. For example, if you want to be healthier plan to incorporate more whole foods into your diet

Monitor progress: keep track of your progress and celebrate small wins to stay motivated

Cultivate positive habits:

Daily routines: establish daily routines that support your identity. This could include a morning exercise routine or a consistent skincare routine

Mindfulness practices: incorporate daily mindfulness practices like meditation or journaling

Continue to learn: commit to lifelong learning. Read books, take courses, and seek new experiences that contribute to your personal growth

Build a support system:

Find mentors: seek out mentors or role models who embody qualities you admire. Learn from their experiences and guidance

Surround yourself with positivity: build a network of supportive friends and family who encourage and inspire you

Rebranding yourself is a long and tedious journey, but with a little help from some science-based principles it can be as beneficial as ever!

As always,

Love Luna <3

679 notes · View notes

holyscolor · 7 months

Text

CHİCLUMİNA - DEVASA+

Explore Your Unique Aesthetic with Chic Lumina

In the world of fashion, expressing your individuality through different aesthetics has become increasingly popular. Whether you're drawn to the ethereal charm of pastel colors, the edgy vibes of streetwear, or the retro nostalgia of vintage fashion, Chic Lumina is your go-to destination for all things aesthetic.

Aesthetic types vary greatly, catering to diverse tastes and preferences. At Chic Lumina, we celebrate this diversity by curating a wide range of clothing and accessories to suit every aesthetic imaginable. Whether you're into soft and dreamy pastels, bold and vibrant colors, or dark and grungy styles, we have something for everyone.

Egirl fashion has emerged as a prominent aesthetic trend, characterized by its playful mix of cute and edgy elements. From oversized graphic tees and plaid skirts to chunky boots and statement accessories, Chic Lumina offers a stunning array of Egirl outfits to help you perfect your look. Express your inner rebel with our collection of daring yet adorable pieces that capture the essence of Egirl style.

For those seeking to express their unique aesthetic through their wardrobe, Chic Lumina's selection of aesthetic clothes is sure to inspire. Whether you're channeling the romantic vibes of cottagecore, the futuristic allure of cyberpunk, or the minimalist elegance of e-boy/e-girl style, our carefully curated collection has everything you need to bring your vision to life.

At Chic Lumina, we understand that fashion is more than just clothing – it's a form of self-expression and empowerment. That's why we're dedicated to providing you with the latest trends, highest quality products, and exceptional customer service to help you look and feel your best, no matter what your aesthetic may be.

So why wait? Explore our website today and discover a world of aesthetic clothes at Chic Lumina. Let your creativity run wild as you mix and match different aesthetics to create a style that's uniquely yours.

656 notes · View notes

honeytonedhottie · 10 months

Text

how to make changes when change is terrifying⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪷

you can have a plan for ur life, a pinterest vision board, an agenda but without the bravery to execute it, its all useless. most ppl are afraid to take risks or leave their comfort zones which is why they'll continue to experience the same monotonousness of their everyday lives. fear which might be seemingly catastrophic is actually quite trivial. we spend all our days dreaming about a different life but we cling so tightly to our comfort zone. honestly its a miserable place to be so hopefully this post helps to eliminate the fear of change.

by default human beings r wired to seek stability and predictability so ur fear of the unknown is so natural and everyone has it. everyone.

take a look inside urself and find the root as to WHY ur scared of change or why u dont seek change. everyones reasons will be different but its important to know the root cause.

separate urself from situations and people who perpetuate the version of urself that u no longer desire to be. cut off friends who hate on u for being urself, friendship isn't scarce so dont let fear of losing friends hold u back from change and being ur authentic self

in that same breath, when u shift blame ur ego is satisfied. "oh, i can't change and be my authentic self and live the life of my dreams because of my family/friends" BUT your life is YOUR responsibility.

building competence = building confidence. ur more likely to be confidently speaking/doing something when ur competent at it. this is why self investment is always the best thing to invest in. it has the highest ROI (return on investment)

TAKING ACTION : pursue fear

expose urself to the fear, expose urself to new opportunities, expose urself to unknown waters and you'll build a tolerance towards it, therefore strengthening ur immunity to it.

take risks often, make moves often PRACTICE DISCOMFORT. you are in charge. its not anyone else's life but ur own and ur directly responsible for ur life.

CHANGE :

change ur routines, change ur surroundings. even if its just switching things up just a little bit every single day. literally just do something new. take a different route home. instead of having chicken tenders and fries at a restaurant, try a different order. talk to a stranger. literally anything that brings a little bit of change and differentiates each day.

if u find urself hesitating with change literally tell urself to DO IT FOR THE PLOT!!!!

#law of assumption #self concept #it girl #becoming that girl #self care #advice #self love #that girl #it girl energy #manifesting #dream girl #dream life #self development #self improvement #self growth #2024 #new year #girl blogger #hyperfemininity

480 notes · View notes

saturnsbabyboii · 1 year

Text

The Black Moon Lilith in the signs and houses (Our core fear, inner saboteur, healing and transformation)

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Note: I heavily use the work of Laura Walker’s book that I will reference. I used her wording and point of view from the book because she worded better than I could. So don’t come for me with any plagiarism crap. Thank you.

✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"power comes from strife"

୧‿︵‿୨

Black Moon Lilith operates on unseen levels. It pertains to hidden information, exposes secrets, and brings our core and primary fears to light. Fears from our shadow side cause us to undermine ourselves, and even others. Black Moon Lilith is the lingering feeling that stabs your consciousness and triggers you; If you don't listen to it, you'll grow vicious and paranoid of others and yourself.

My interpretation of the shadow is that it is the home of our primal fear. A fear that has significant power in our lives. It is based on primal, instinctual levels and operates on survival principles. The primary fear is a primary motivator for many of our life decisions.

In the book "The Astrology of the Black Moon: A Guide to Healing the Shadow Side" (Walker, 2011)

╔══════════════ ⛧ ══════════════╗

The writer identified the twelve signs and their innate and core fears:

ARIES: fear of unworthiness

Theme: The Shadow of Success

Primary Fear: fear of unworthiness

Self-judgment: how well one performs or measures up

Issues: success; identity; questions about inherent value, self-esteem, and merit

Projection: others‟ success and worthiness are based on what they have attained or accomplished

Goals: to not compare yourself to others; to not measure personal success by anyone else standards, to value yourself as a unique expression of the Creator, therefore, creating self-esteem

Manifestation: The Black Moon in Aries manifests in the intense quest to be valued and feel worthy. However, a deep-seated feeling of unworthiness is in conflict with this quest, often causing beneficial opportunities to be passed up. In life, we are only able to receive what we think we deserve, and when we feel undeserving, we will avoid or reject people, jobs, or options that we feel are too good for us. Self-sabotaging behavior often occurs with the Black Moon in Aries. There can also be a need to prove ones worthiness to others, even in the form of subtle bragging. The Black Moon in Aries staunchly defends itself and rejects anything that does not fall in line with its ideas and beliefs.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Aries, the belief in inherent unworthiness must be faced. Simply by virtue of being born, we are entitled to and worthy of the joys of life. If All is One, then none are less than others. Each of us carries a spark of the Divine - none are excluded. Healing occurs when we are able to see ourselves as successful and worthy because we are a child of the Universe. When we recognize this, we understand that all other gauges are external and superficial. By holding ourselves in high regard, we naturally align with our highest and best.

Examine where you have settled for less than you wished.

Ask yourself what you would do if somehow, magically, a wand was waved and you were deemed worthy. Strive to connect with this vision.

Ask yourself how much the appearance of success plays in your life.

Ask yourself what you are always trying to win. When you discover the answer, decide if you really want it. Is it worth the effort? By practicing the awareness that you do not have to be the best in every situation, you will come to a natural state of internal balance.

Black Moon in Aries: Johnny Cash, Kurt Cobain, Albert Einstein, Elizabeth I, Mahatma Gandhi, Michael Jackson, Prince, Vladimir Lenin, Mary Queen of Scots, Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, Mark Zuckerberg

Black Moon in the 1st House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are deeply related to how we feel about ourselves. The shadow side is ingrained in how we use our personal energy, what motivates us and our sense of overall wellbeing. Personal appearance or the way we appear to others is often a major concern. If the shadow is heavily in control, our behavior patterns will strongly reflect it. This placement of the Black Moon is intensely personal and our shadow issues will have a dramatic impact on our lives.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the vast amount of personal energy at our disposal. This level of energy can produce fantastic healers and immensely creative individuals. We can accomplish monumental feats and have an uncanny ability to turn “negatives” into “positives.”

TAURUS: fear of scarcity

Theme: The Shadow of Security

Primary Fear: fear of scarcity

Self-judgment: how secure/safe one is by the level of comfort

Issues: having enough to feel safe; compulsive consumption; insecurities

Projection: the tendency to criticize others for being lazy, irresponsible (especially with money), or unconventional

Goals: to not fill the void with “things,” to stretch beyond your comfort zone

Manifestation: With Black Moon in Taurus, the more we have, the more comfortable we feel. In turn, the more comfortable we feel, the safer we think we are. With this placement, there is an intense need to feel comfortable because there is a generalized feeling of being unsafe in the world. The Black Moon in Taurus manifests in an almost insatiable desire to consume and accumulate possessions, money, or anything that makes us feel safe and secure. However, no matter how much we acquire, it will never be enough because the void that we are trying to fill cannot be filled in this way. It may be filled momentarily, but the core feeling of insecurity will soon return. Oftentimes, the end result of this constant attempt to satisfy the fear of not having enough is the accumulation of debt, weight, or responsibilities – usually the exact things we are trying to avoid. With this placement of the Black Moon, there is an intense need to feel satisfied. Insecurities are held very deeply and there is tremendous fear of others knowing those insecurities.

Healing and Transcending:

The belief that the world is unsafe must be confronted. Integrating the idea that we have all that we need inside is what heals this shadow. When we build on who we really are inside, we no longer need to accumulate possessions to feel secure. When we accept that all is going according to a divine plan, we no longer need to fear the events of the world. No matter what, each of us always returns to our Source. This is the security that Black Moon in Taurus seeks.

Cut back on whatever is filling the void. This will bring immediate discomfort and it will leave you with time on your hands. It is important to learn how to “not do” – to become comfortable with stillness. The next time you feel the need to take on more, buy more, or eat more, go and sit by yourself and put on some music, read, practice yoga or throttle down in some way. By practicing being still when you are most uncomfortable, you will be feeding your inner world and requiring less from the outer world.

Black Moon in Taurus: J.S. Bach, Patsy Cline, Howard Hughes, Abraham Lincoln, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Wilhelm Reich, Henry David Thoreau, Vincent van Gogh, Lady Gaga, Kanye West, Lana Del Rey, Bruce Lee, Celine Dion, Joseph Stalin

Black Moon in the 2nd House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are deeply related to how secure we feel. Financial considerations seem to plague us. The shadow side blurs the lines between emotional needs and material/financial needs; attitudes toward partners can hinge on security issues. The shadow side is ingrained in our value systems, which can at times seem at odds with our behavior.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the generous, comfortable feeling we engender in others, resulting in many meaningful, lasting interpersonal relationships. People truly enjoy being with us, finding us not only charming but disarming.

GEMINI: fear of rejection

Theme: The Shadow of Acceptance

Primary Fear: fear of rejection

Self-judgment: how one compares to others

Issues: whether others approve or disapprove

Projection: labeling others as selfish; distaste for people who fail to do “the right thing”

Goals: to not care if people like or want you, to not compare yourself to others, to express your individuality

Manifestation:

Those with the Black Moon in Gemini are morbidly afraid of rejection. They are people pleasers, which often leaves them wondering “what it is we ourselves like and dislike”. This shadow manifests as a need to make decisions or act in accordance with whatever gains acceptance from others. It is damaging to the soul to pursue a life that others wish for us, as it comes at the expense of the expression of individual talents. Actions based on or motivated by another leads to a suppression of the true self. It is a great disservice not to explore who we really are. It is also dangerous to “over-do” for others in hopes that they will like us; ultimately it leads to burn out. At the other end of the spectrum, this placement causes sudden and severe reactions to anything that hints at potential rejection, often causing serious challenges with relationships because we will reject someone before they can reject us. The Black Moon in Gemini will bail out too early or stay way too long.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Gemini, it is necessary to face the need for others‟ approval. Each of us has something special to offer the world. What is important is not if others approve of us, but if we approve of ourselves. That sounds very cliché, but with Black Moon in Gemini we need to provide our own approval. When you are able to consciously put yourself on the line to be rejected, intending that the outcome will not hinder your spirit, you will have regained the power that is trapped in the shadow side. When the shadow is healed, rejection ceases to be an issue because inner acceptance has been achieved - creating a wealth of talent that is available to the world.

Examine where you are not being self-“ish” or operating from your true self.

When making decisions and planning your time and resources, ask yourself who you are doing it for. The answer should always be “for myself – for my highest and best which in turn serves the highest and best of everyone.” This doesn‟t mean you are supposed to forget about others; it means that you put yourself into the equation. Healing this shadow requires vigilant monitoring of your time, energy, and money and how you spend them. It will quickly become apparent when your energy is scattered and whose approval you are seeking. By practicing making little decisions based on your own needs, you will integrate and balance you in relation to others.

Black Moon in Gemini: Marlon Brando, Karl Marx, Frank Sinatra, Mark Twain, Mariah Carey, Joe Biden, Muhammed Ali, Frida Kahlo, Harrison Ford, Stephen Hawking, Shia LeBeouf, Kendrick Lamar, Yoko Ono

Black Moon in the 3rd House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are deeply related to self- expression. The shadow side is ingrained in rigid attitudes and strong opinions that can cause us an endless amount of trouble. At times there is overwhelming confusion about the direction we want to take in life. Early life has a more pronounced effect on us than others. The outgrowths of childhood weave their way through later life in the most resolute ways. Issues with siblings can linger throughout adulthood.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our uncanny, exacting powers of observation and communication. These talents can be applied in a multitude of ways. Also, our accuracy in perceiving situations gives us a definite advantage in life.

CANCER: fear of abandonment

Theme: The Shadow of Support

Primary Fear: fear of abandonment

Self-Judgment: how well one is supported; how much others do or give

Issues: dependency; co-dependency

Projection: tendency to dislike those we deem “needy”

Goals: to do things for ourselves, to not be dependent or “clingy”

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Cancer carries a pervasive feeling of being unable to take care of oneself. This shadow manifests in the need to manipulate situations so that one is dependent on others. In this way we are assured of not being alone. This distorted sense of support wreaks havoc on relationships, as others feel burdened or smothered. Many times with the Black Moon in Cancer we feel unappreciated for the things we do for others. The chronic feeling of not being supported halts personal growth, as personal needs are met by others, not by ourselves.

Healing and Transcending:

The dependence on others for support must be faced. We must provide our own support by not abandoning ourselves. This means taking care of and addressing our own needs. Action that is in favor of self-sufficiency is in order. Action that is undertaken for others should be unconditional. When the concept of Oneness is integrated, the idea of abandonment is no longer valid and relationships naturally equalize to a state of balance.

Begin doing the things that you want others to do for you all by yourself. The next time you need something that you would normally ask another to provide for you, go ahead and get it yourself. Begin with small things but work your way up to major ones.

Do something that you never would have done on your own. By practicing doing more for yourself you will balance the shadow that depends too heavily on others.

Set up individual systems of support such as retirement funds or other accounts.

Black Moon in Cancer: Jimi Hendrix, Henry VIII, Janice Joplin, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Malcolm X, Princess Diana, Jennifer Aniston, Elvis Presley, Jay Z, Robin Williams, Paul McCartney, Charles Manson, Naomi Campbell, Kobe Bryant, Rupaul, Paul Newman, Al Capone

Black Moon in the 4th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to our foundation and sense of home. The shadow is ingrained with an overidentification with home and much effort is devoted to cultivating a feeling of belonging. With this placement, relationships with parents (particularly the mother) are often difficult, especially if our parents did not provide a strong home. There is a tendency to be stuck in the past and/or unable to forgive and forget.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the ability to not only be sensitive to, but accommodate other people needs. If we truly trust someone, we will provide whatever is necessary to make that person happy, making us exceptional partners.

LEO: fear of change

Theme: The Shadow of Order

Primary Fear: fear of change

Self-judgment: the level or station one has achieved

Issues: order; position; arrogance; self-centeredness; jealousy

Projection: distaste for or identification with overbearing, vain, or “selfish” people

Goals: to identify and vocalize others‟ talents and strengths, to identify the opportunities presented by changes, to eliminate feeling jealous

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Leo assaults the ego. It manifests in egocentricity and arrogance. With this placement we are frequently accused of being selfish. This is because our attention is naturally attracted to whatever reinforces our position in life. Any ideas to the contrary are quickly dismissed. The fear of change morphs into the fear of losing face or losing position. Rigid attempts to maintain the existing order, framework, or mindset are common and can lead to exhaustion.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Leo, the need for classification and designation must be faced. In truth, there is no hierarchy – All is One. Change is the nature of the Universe and change brings the opportunity for growth. We each have roles that we slip in and out of; the key is to fluidly take on positions and situations where we both lead and follow so that nothing remains static. It is also important to remember that, by definition, Divine Order is never threatened.

Give to others. Black Moon in Leo has a tremendous capacity to uplift. ø When you encounter new situations, consider how you could empower someone else who is involved. How could you make them feel more important? Think about how you could give something of yourself to someone else.

When you are with others, practice trying to discover something very special about them in that moment and then casually mention it.

Try new things. By practicing changing the order of things, you are healing your shadow.

Black Moon in Leo: Charles de Gaulle, Ernest Hemingway, Elizabeth II, Lyndon B. Johnson, John F. Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, Vladimir Putin, Jim Morrison, Pablo Picasso, Christopher Reeve, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Leo Tolstoy, Barack Obama, Rihanna, Adele

Black Moon in the 5th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to the ability to truly enjoy life. This shadow is ingrained in pursuing, but having difficulty finding, pleasure. We are prone to take risks in order to feel stimulated. Issues with the father are found with this placement. The father may have been absent or neglectful, especially if Saturn is prominent. This shadow side may also center on children, either wanting children and not having them or not taking care of ones children.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is resiliency. No matter how disappointed we become, we are rarely down for long. We are excellent problem solvers and leaders. We adapt well to changes and can fluidly change course in mid-stride.

VIRGO: fear of failure

Theme: The Shadow of Ability

Primary Fear: fear of failure

Self-judgment: how much one works, progresses, improves, or fixes

Issues: feelings of being inherently flawed; self-criticism

Projection: feeling that others are not performing well enough or are incompetent

Goals: to not focus on flaws or failures, to not do things to excess, to not feel responsible to fix everything

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Virgo finds flaws and then internalizes them. This shadow manifests in chronic dissatisfaction, particularly with oneself. With this placement, we often find it difficult to feel positive about ourselves for great lengths of time. All too soon, a generalized feeling of being “not good enough” creeps back in to maintain internal disequilibrium. Black Moon in Virgo constantly challenges our abilities and, in an effort to prove ourselves, we tend to maintain a very full schedule. We work very hard but can have trouble seeing the forest for the trees, as we operate under the spell of having to do more and more to prove to ourselves and others that we are not flawed. This shadow is the most adept at self punishment.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Virgo, the need to find fault must be faced. A healthier state of mind is achieved when we recognize that nothing is absolute – there is no absolute right or wrong. All levels of ability have something to contribute. Healing this shadow requires understanding that flaws are an illusion. The crucial thing to understand is that when we have the Black Moon in Virgo, we interpret the feeling of separation from Spirit as somehow our fault. Everyone has the feeling of spiritual disconnection, but Black Moon in Virgo personalizes it. This is the root cause of why we feel flawed. To heal the shadow, we must accept that to some degree, this feeling is merely a by-product of the physical experience of life.

Examine where you feel you have failed. Upon closer inspection, what caused the “failure?” Was it really your fault? Was there really more you could have done or was it just not meant to be? Can you forgive yourself and others for not doing better?

Can you walk away from “failures” and feel enriched simply by having had the experience? Time is the true test of what is, at the time, perceived to be a failure. By focusing on the experience as opposed to the outcome, the shadow of ability is healed.

Black Moon in Virgo: Alexander Graham Bell, Benazir Bhutto, Sigmund Freud, Galileo, George Washington, 14th Dalai Lama, William Shakespeare, Jon Bon Jovi

Black Moon in the 6th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to health and work. At times there can be problems with co-workers, particularly regarding perceptions of our work performance. The shadow side is ingrained in the level of self-discipline we have. We may be accused of being disorganized. There is also a tendency to vacillate between ignoring our body and focusing too much on it, leading to concerns over health.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is a keen insight into the interrelatedness of things. We often hold a warehouse of information that others find helpful.

LIBRA: fear of loneliness

Theme: The Shadow of Perfection

Primary Fear: fear of loneliness/isolation

Self-judgment: personal “flaws” are harshly judged

Issues: perfection; unrealistic expectations; boundary issues

Projection: criticism of others, particularly the criticism of how things appear

Goals: to not have to have things be perfect, to be comfortable being alone, to see gray - not just black and white, to not be judgmental

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Libra values impeccability and holds everything and everyone to a high standard, especially oneself. This shadow involves pursuit of the “ideal” and keenly feels the separation from spirit. The Black Moon in Libra manifests in intense self-judgment and fragmentation of the self into pieces that are either acceptable or unacceptable. This shadow breaches boundaries and sorts through everything in an attempt to perfect it. It seeks excellence. This results in an unending series of disappointments and can form schisms in relationships. Maintaining any semblance of perfection is exhausting for anyone, but with the Black Moon in Libra, we often find ourselves complaining about being tired or not having enough time. Indecisiveness and self-deprivation are also characteristic of this shadow.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Libra, the need to judge must be faced. This shadow is strongly connected to the journey through the judgment of the Underworld and subsequent rebirth in a whole new way (see Chapter Five on the transits of the Black Moon). It is actually a journey to find what is truly of value. When we are able to see that love is truly the only thing of value, we find inclusion instead of separation. We begin to love all of the parts, not just some of them. When we understand that everything is connected, we see that the fear of separation is an illusion. Healing the shadow of perfection is about seeing our own (and others‟) inner perfection by allowing the “ideals” of the outer, material world to fall away.

Assess your values. When you find yourself being critical of others, ask yourself if you dislike that same thing in yourself. Examine how you separate yourself from other people. Is there a need to keep some part of you distinct from others?

When you find yourself being critical, find something valuable about the situation. You might not feel like certain things about you or others are perfect in appearance, but you may find that they are highly valuable in functionality. By practicing finding value, the shadow that believes in the idea of perfection is healed.

Black Moon in Libra: Ralph Waldo Emerson, Benito Mussolini, Tupac Shakur, Nikola Tesla

Black Moon in the 7th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to partnerships and commitment. This shadow side is urgently motivated to seek mutually-fulfilling relationships, which are often elusive. Also, other people find ways to take advantage of us, sometimes to the point of betrayal. Many times life seems unfair to us and others would probably agree. In the midst of this, there can also be issues of dependence or neediness.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our ability to perceive and create beauty from the smallest things. Innately tuned toward balance, we easily see what is missing and then endeavor to rectify the situation. This is a very valuable skill that can be translated into many different applications.

SCORPIO: fear of loss

Theme: The Shadow of Death

Primary Fear: fear of loss

Self-judgment: based on what one has won

Issues: winning vs. losing; issues with death/endings

Projection: rescuing others

Goals: to not always have to win, to learn how to have closure, to not have to rescue, to not struggle so hard

Manifestation:

Black Moon in Scorpio will go to extreme lengths to save, assist, rescue, or win. This shadows favorite prize is something that was hard won. The Black Moon in Scorpio manifests as a deep well of despair with desperate attempts to climb out. We cling or attach to anything that stems the feeling of free-falling through life. Daily life is frequently viewed as a battle to win in order to stave off deepening feelings of loss. Sometimes even casual encounters are judged according to what was won or lost in the exchange. Black Moon in Scorpio is very strong energy that can cause intense levels of anxiety. We are especially attracted to people who are in need of assistance or who are “persecuted” in some way, as this is the preferred method to vicariously save ourselves.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Scorpio, the need to struggle must be faced. Nothing is ever really lost because there really is no death – only transformation into a new form. There is no need to plunge to the depths just to prove that we can win or to try to keep things from ending. Practicing the arts of gratitude and surrender is what facilitates the shift from the perspective of loss to the perspective of love. Material things fall away, but love endures forever.

Become comfortable with losing. It is essential to let go of anything that you are overly attached to.

Examine where you have invested most of your energy. Is it a losing battle? Instead of dealing with loss in an indirect way, consciously take action to give up. Imagine how relieved you would feel.

Take steps to practice ending the smallest things (like phone calls) and work up to being able to step away from situations that cannot be saved (like dead end relationships). You may be surprised to find that something else was waiting all along - you just couldn’t see it while you were busy running away from it. This is the nature of death or endings. They always precede rebirth and beginnings.

Black Moon in Scorpio: Alexander the Great, Winston Churchill, Nostredame, Steve Jobs, Emily Dickinson, Pope Francis, Walt Disney, Jeff Bezos, John D. Rockefeller, Albert Schweitzer, Mother Teresa, Eminem, Taylor Swift, Johnny Depp, Beyoncé, Dwayne Johnson, Notorious B.I.G

Black Moon in the 8th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to death, inheritance, investments, and sex. This is the most difficult house placement for the Black Moon. The shadow side is ingrained in loss; in fact, we may feel that our lives lead only to loss. With Black Moon in the eighth house, chronic anxiety may be present.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our great depth of compassion and ability to see beyond the surface. We quickly ascertain people true motivations. Our wisdom and insight is a great benefit to those with whom we are close.

SAGITTARIUS: fear of meaninglessness

Theme: The Shadow of Truth

Primary Fear: fear of meaninglessness

Self-judgment: based on intentions and motivations

Issues: issues related to truth and honesty

Projection: distaste for people who lie or people who are naïve

Goals: to not have to have the ultimate answers, to tolerate the ordinary, to not always need “proof”

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Sagittarius manifests in an intense relationship with the concept of “truth.” There is a great need to discern the superlative truth in all things, which causes a never ending sequence of questioning. More importantly, we need to feel like people are telling us the truth, as we do not automatically believe anything simply because it was said. Relationships can become stressed if our partners feel that they always have to prove that they are telling the truth. Themes of deception often play a role in our lives, perhaps as a victim of deception. Ongoing questions about not only our purpose in life, but the purpose of life characterize this shadow. Feelings of stagnation are not tolerated well.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Sagittarius, the need to continue searching must be faced. At some point, one must simply believe. Ultimately, all searching for the truth leads back to the truth that All is One. What is meaningful? Whatever we choose as meaningful is meaningful. This shadow is healed when we see that each of us has an interpretation of truth, which eliminates the need to find one superlative truth.

Take up the mantle of responsibility for creating meaning in life. Meaningfulness is found by assessing what is truly important. What is meaningful to you? When you know the answers to this question, you will have created truth – the truth according to you. Devotion of your life to your own truth heals the shadow that never believes that truth really exists.

Black Moon in Sagittarius: Helena Blavatsky, Napoleon Bonaparte, Thomas Jefferson, Carl Jung, Martin Luther King, Jr., Jack London, Claude Monet, Ronald Reagan

Black Moon in the 9th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to our outlook or philosophy in life, religion, spirituality, higher learning, the law, and the world at large. This shadow is deeply concerned with issues of morality. We hold strong opinions, often leading to conflicts with others. There is a tendency to feel disconnected from others or from ourselves. We may even feel compelled to isolate ourselves from the world around us.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is a keen intellect that we are able to translate into many fields of interest. Our knowledge encompasses a wide spectrum, affording us the ability to relate to many different people, should we so desire.

CAPRICORN: fear of neglect

Theme: The Shadow of Control

Primary Fear: fear of neglect/ not being acknowledged

Self-judgment: how well one stands out or apart

Issues: control issues; attention-seeking behavior

Projection: negative reaction to bossy, showy, or attention-seeking people; rebellion against being told what to do

Goals: to be comfortable when not in control, to stand up for yourself

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Capricorn manifests as a need to control the course of events. When this shadow dominates, we have a tendency to be demanding. We can go to extreme efforts to gain attention. We have definite ideas about the way things should be and others often succumb to the force of our will. Frequently we refuse to give up until someone – anyone - acknowledges what we have to offer or agrees with what we think is best. A little bit of recognition goes a long way with us, but so does a little bit of neglect, and Black Moon in Capricorn has a long memory. But interpersonal relationships suffer when we wear down another free will to come into compliance with our own. This results in lackluster relationships where the joyful spark of life becomes extinguished. We are very hard workers, but we can also expect a lot from others.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Capricorn, we need to examine what we are trying to control. We also need to give ourselves the recognition we seek. When we are able to do this, there is no longer a drive to ensure that others follow our wishes because we already have what we need.

Examine where you need to have your way. Observe yourself carefully. Are you telling someone how, when, or what to do? Practice allowing others to go about tasks in their own way.

Ask others what they would like to do and then do it. Enjoy the feeling of not being responsible for everything. Freedom, spontaneity, and a joyful feeling for life will return when the pressure to be a certain way is removed.

Black Moon in Capricorn: Leonardo da Vinci, Farrah Fawcett, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Machiavelli

Black Moon in the 10th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to ambition, authority, social status, and responsibility. Tradition and family obligations are important us. This shadow is ingrained in a sense of duty and high aspirations, and we closely monitor our progress in the world as compared to others. We hold high standards and expectations, which can cause interpersonal difficulties if we demand too much from others.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our ability to persevere. We are hard workers who take more than our share of any load. When we give our word, we do everything in our power to keep it.

AQUARIUS: fear of powerlessness

Theme: The Shadow of Power

Primary Fear: fear of powerlessness

Self-judgment: based on the impact/power one has to get what one wants or needs

Issues: power issues; power struggles

Projection: distaste for weak or undisciplined people

Goals: to learn to ask for help, to not overpower others

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Aquarius often manifests in a powerful sense of loneliness. Usually we are keenly aware of our intense personal power and are somewhat frightened by it. Our skills and aptitudes can border on genius, often giving us an air of considerable authority. We have strong faculties and diverse talents that can be used to uplift or to crush others. Black Moon in Aquarius is a force rivaled by few, and the temptation to dominate others can become an ongoing battle. It is simply all too easy to emotionally and intellectually overpower others. Ethical concerns can arise, as we are prone to test our limitations. In situations where we feel powerless, we tend to isolate ourselves so no one will see our “weakness.” This self-imposed prison is rife with internal brutality, as we tend to unleash cruel criticism on ourselves for not being stronger.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Aquarius, the tendency to overpower others must be faced. When we recognize that we are all connected, there is no need for anyone to overpower another. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses that fluctuate and change over time. The extra boost of power that accompanies Black Moon in Aquarius can be re-routed back into the collective of humanity in the form of brilliant ideas and creations that uplift the whole. A channel or outlet for this power is what is needed to keep it from blowing up. When the focus shifts to sharing power, all benefit.

Examine if you abuse your power by neglecting or criticizing others. Do you take advantage of others, however unwittingly? Or do you neglect, criticize, or overextend yourself?

Ask yourself what you would do with all of your power. It is very important for you to answer this question. Are you more afraid of your power or your powerlessness? Discerning the parameters of personal power is what heals this shadow.

Black Moon in Aquarius: Robert Oppenheimer, Genghis Khan, Ludwig van Beethoven, James Dean, Jacki Kennedy, Salvador Dali, O.J Simpson, Amy Winehouse, Kid Cudi

Black Moon in the 11th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to our hopes, wishes, and dreams. The shadow is concerned with how we fit into the collective of humanity. Issues of the “self versus others” follow us and we may find that we are often accused of being selfish or self centered. Change is usually difficult for us to handle.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is the ability to bring people together. We are natural networkers. We are also interesting people to be around and are true innovators.

PISCES: fear of vulnerability/harm

Theme: The Shadow of Trust

Primary Fear: fear of vulnerability

Self-judgment: based on how stable ones emotions are

Issues: trust issues

Projection: distrust of people who are “too nice” because they must want something

Goals: to let down your walls with the appropriate people, to be able to discern who is appropriate for you, to focus on self as much as others

Manifestation:

The Black Moon in Pisces is tender-hearted. We are afraid that if others discover this, they will use it against us. There is a tendency to judge people and situations based on the potential of being hurt. We may find it difficult to be open or fully intimate with others. It is often hard to trust others and we test them until we feel safe. This shadow can show up overtly (in unmistakable emotional walls) but it can also show up subtly (appearing on the surface to be very open, but upon closer inspection having definite commitment issues). On the flip side, we can also make commitments before trust is gained. By prematurely trusting, we face betrayal or disappointment. In this way, a vague sense of safety is maintained since a deeper sense of intimacy is never attained. The sense of being separated from Spirit is acute with Black Moon in Pisces and the intense desire to not be present in the “here and now” can lead to emotional addictions, addiction to substances, or escaping our own issues through focusing on others.

Healing and Transcending:

With the Black Moon in Pisces, the need to put up a wall of protection must be faced. The truth is, life can be painful and people hurt us whether they intend to or not. We need to learn to trust the people we know we can trust. Usually this is the person we are with the most, but proportionately open up to the least. We tend to hold ourselves back, but this is a crime against our souls because we are naturally closest to Spirit and have much to share with others. Our shadow is healed when we trust that we are strong enough to withstand any offense.

Ask yourself when you feel most vulnerable. In what situations do you cross your arms and cover your chest? How do you cover up or cover over who you really are?

Consider who you physically, intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally open up to the most? It is important to look at the level of trust you have in the people around you and honestly assess if your trust is well-placed. Balancing the shadow of trust is just as much about not placing trust in the people that you know you shouldn’t as it is about allowing someone else see who you really are.

Black Moon in Pisces: Jesus Christ (allegedly), Prince Charles, John Lennon, Gerald Ford, Judy Garland, Angelina Jolie, Mike Tyson, Madonna, Harry Styles, Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Pacino, Elizabeth Taylor

Black Moon in the 12th House

Challenges: The greatest challenges of the shadow are related to unconscious motivations, addictions, institutions, and enemies. The shadow is deeply ingrained in anything that is hidden. By its very nature, the Black Moon is hidden, making this placement difficult to understand. There is often a side to us that is unknown to most people. We may have a degree of emotional suffering that is not evident to others until they get to know us.

Gift: The gift of the shadow is our ability to empathize with others. We seem to easily give to others that which we may not be able to give to ourselves. We are complex people who can handle complex tasks and material with aplomb.

╚══════════════ ⛧ ══════════════╝

"Primary fears subvert our personal growth and feelings of happiness. Oftentimes they impede our success because fear is what stops us cold in our tracks when we are venturing into unknown territory. Our choices and actions are directly proportional to the level of control our shadow exerts over us. When the fear that is contained in the shadow side is dominant, we feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied." - (Walker, 2011)

Reference:

Walker, L., 2011. The Astrology of the Black Moon: A Guide to Healing the Shadow Side. Austin, Texas: The Dog Publishing.

2K notes · View notes

ssivinee · 1 year

Text

✧Wounded Heart✧

Part 1 | Part 2

BEBE! Bada Lee x F Reader: You've always been known as the smartest student in school, while Bada was known as the campus heartthrob and player. She decides to take advantage of her situation, but puts your heart on the line along with her passing grade.

Word Count: 9.2k

TW: Slight self harm

Note: This is the longest fic I've written so far😮‍💨. I felt so evil writing this, but I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE ANGST😈. ALSO, please check out my new rule. If not, it just warns blogs with no pfps and reblogs. I have a high chance of soft-blocking you, as I may get shadowbanned bc Tumblr can't defer you from bots.

Character Vision Board

You were never one to gain any attention from anyone. Frankly, you liked it that way.

Known as the most reserved yet nerdiest student in school, you were never called by your name. How could anyone put a name to your face when no one knew what it was. People had only given you the title of top student in university.

Most people knew of your existence, but by always wearing your oversized hoodie over your head, glasses, and mask, you kept your identity a secret amongst your peers. You survived high school like this, so being in your final year of university and still being able to maintain it was a breeze.

It was a regular Monday morning, and you sat in the library before classes, trying to freshen up on your Physics lesson yesterday. You woke up at 6 a.m. to get ready, showered, and ate breakfast with an energy drink before heading out to the library. That was your daily routine, the loner lifestyle, if you will.

As you typed away on your computer, the buzz of other students started coming in waves at 9 a.m., hitting the clock. That meant it was time to head to your first class. After multiple hours of classes, hand-cramping notes, and sitting in the back of every subject, you headed to your favorite class, computer science. For some reason, your brain was highly advanced in this area, making it enjoyable.

30 minutes go by, and just sitting in the back of the class, a tall, nonchalant figure walks in. You visibly see your teacher's face contort as she rolls her eyes at the student. The notorious Bada Lee came in late once again. You believed she began to do it on purpose at this point, as she stopped giving excuses for her tardiness by the second week.

The thought certainly loitered in the back of your mind. You never understood why Bada was the way she was. This was one of the few classes with several options, so if you wanted to avoid taking it, you had multiple other choices. Yet, even being late every day, she showed up and did the work.

Maybe not to the best of her abilities, but she still did it.

There were a few things to note about Bada. She was captain of the school's basketball team and had a distasting reputation. The campus player and heartbreaker. It felt as though, every week, there was new drama surrounding a girl whose heart got broken by the tall student, and it always made you want to roll your eyes every single time. Never understanding why these girls chased and chased, even when knowing their situationships wouldn't be the way it was from their fantasies.

Nearing the end of the class, everyone was getting ready to leave, but the Professor stopped anyone from going further. "Before you leave, I want to discuss the upcoming midterm project."

She pulls up the presentation on the board and explains, "This project requires you to make an updated website for the school. The requirements will be posted online by the end of the day, and I will assign you a partner for this. The highest grade will have their website be used as the new official website for our school. This will be due a month from now."

Everyone becomes surprised and happy at the prize for their upcoming trials. Your professor begins to list the names, and she gets to you, "Baek Y/n... and Bada Lee." Your heart sank instantly at those words.

You grumble with your head down. Out of all the people in the class, you got stuck with the one who'd rather mess with a girl at any chance she had.

Bada sits in her seat, brows furrowed. Who the fuck was Baek Y/n?

Bada knew almost everyone, but she'd never heard of that name. That's when the Professor lets everyone go, and she sees a girl walk up to the teacher. You wore the gigantic hoodie, and Bada couldn't see your face, but with all the gestures you gave your teacher, you seemed like you weren't pleased about something. When she hears you huff in annoyance, and your eyes meet hers while leaving, she sees anger bubbling behind them.

Bada gets up, confused, and heads over to the teacher. "Professor Min, who was that?"

"That was your partner Baek Y/n. You've heard of the top student before, right?" Her eyes double at the older man's words, and her face becomes extremely happy. She would undoubtedly be using this to her advantage.

"Now, don't think of trying to get the girl to do all the work, Bada. I'm allowing you to bring up your grade with this project." She nods furiously before heading out to tell her friends the news.

She sees them over at their school's common room, and her friends, Aiki, Noze, Lee Jung, and Emma, give her weird looks like Bada grew three heads. "Now, why is she cheesing now?" Aiki asks, and the taller girl replies with a smack to her arm.

"You guys won't believe who my partner is for my computer science project."

The four girls looked at each other and began naming several popular girls. Bada rolls her eyes at her friend's antics. "Well, you wanna tell us? We named like half the girls already." Noze says.

"Baek Y/n."

...

"Baek, who now?" Lee Jung looks at her in amusement, but your title shocks them, "Top Student." Their eyes grow wide. The group looked around the room to see if they could find you. "Her name is Baek Y/n?" Emma confirms, "She's in my class, so I'm pretty sure that's her name."

"Well, if you don't ace that project, she must hate you." Lee Jung jokes, making Bada think, "Truth be told, she didn't seem too happy about being my partner either."

"We wouldn't be happy either." "Can't blame her."

They kid around, but Aiki tells the girl, "You better stay on her good side. I'm sure if you don't do the work, she'll find a way to ensure you don't have a shared grade." "True, she's always been partnered with smarter kids, so she's never had an issue, but knowing you? You’re gonna need to play nice girl this time, Bada."

Bada scoffs at Emma's words, "She'll do the work by herself whether she likes it or not. Besides, I'm on everyone's good side." She shows a cocky grin, but Emma and Lee Jung specifically can't help but doubt her. "I don't know about this one. Doesn't seem like an easy girl to get through."

"Nah, have some faith in our girl," Noze says, patting Bada's hip. "Wanna bet on it?" Bada says, with pure confidence backing her up. "I get her to fall for me, and you owe me a month of doing all my assignments." Lee Jung smirks at the girl, "Deal."

"So when are you gonna start?" Noze asks as she eats her chips. "Not sure. Definitely not tonight, though. I'm seeing Redy after practice." All her friends roll their eyes at the girl's name, finding her ignorance ever so bothersome.

The next morning, you find yourself in the same spot as usual and have begun the project already. Bada finds herself looking for you on campus and figures, where do all nerds hang out?

The library.

She makes her way over, and as she enters, she automatically finds you in the corner of the large hall. "Hey there, partner," She greets, and you look at her dead in the eyes, "What are you doing here?" Your tone ached in annoyance.

"Come on, don't be like that. I want actually to try on this project."

"Fine. Let me ask you this first. Why are you even in computer science?" You were straightforward, your serious demeanor never fading. Bada is surprised by your daring question but never trembles, "I just thought it would be interesting." An irked scoff is heard from behind your mask, "Yeah, right," was said with an eye roll. Well, this is gonna be harder than she thought.

"I'm being serious. I wanna earn the grade as well." She whines slightly, and your eyes cry disgust. "Give me your number, and we can work on the project at my house after basketball practice." You grumble and slouch in your chair, and Bada, unconsciously, finds the position adorable as your oversized hoodie collapses on your body, "Sure," is all you mumble, not wanting any more trouble than there already was.

Bada grins as you write your information down on a purple post-it note and shows her excitement when you hand it over to her. You sat there as she left the library, wondering what she had planned for you. It wasn't like Bada to talk to nobodies to "do work." Yet the sooner you had this project done, the better you took her words with a grain of salt, hoping she was being at least a little truthful with her words.

You weren’t one to trust many people’s words, particularly from individuals like Bada, but you knew it had to be done for the sake of your grade. A hefty sigh leaves your body, and you try to go about your day without going too deep into it. During your last period, you feel your phone buzz and read an unexpected message.

Bada Meet me after practice at 5 PM at the gym. I’ll give you a ride so we can work on the project.

The recurring disdain takes over your face again as you read. You hate that you even had contact with the girl, so you just leave her on read as you remind yourself about the meeting. You would just have to wait for her, deciding to go to the school's garden as you let time pass. On the other end of campus, Bada stares at her phone in dismay, “Did she just leave me on read?” She mumbles to herself, and her fellow co-captain hears the uncommon words from the latter’s mouth. “Someone leaving the queen Bada on read? You don’t hear that every day,” Haechi tells the girl, and Bada sneers at the comment. “She’s just playing hard to get for now. Trust, she’ll fall for me by the end of the week.”

“Who is it anyways?” Haechi questions. “Baek Y/n,” she simply states, and the other’s eyes widen. “Like top student Baek Y/n?” Bada looks at her in confusion, “You know her?”

The latter shrugs, “We went to the same high school. She’s a sweet girl,” she adds, and Bada’s curiosity grows. “Sweet? Do you even know what she looks like?” “Nope, but if you care about your grades, she’ll notice and help you, even if you're struggling.”

Haechi was one of the few popular students in university who focused on her grades, so her statement wasn’t so out of the blue. “Know anything else about her?” Haechi briefly considers the inquiry, “She really likes energy drinks, from what I remember. She always drank the blue Monster cans.” But there was a slight hesitation in the co-captin’s voice.

“I know how you are, Bada, so I’m aware I can’t stop you from your plans, but try not to do too much damage to the girl. She’s too precious to be broken by someone like you,” Haechi tells her, and despite the brutal words, Bada doesn’t take it to heart, almost shoving it out of her mind.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

The practice continues for hours before Bada notices your small figure sitting on the bleachers, waiting for the little time left. She jogs her way over to you with a bashful smile, “Hey, let me just change, and we can head out.” You just nod, wanting to get out fast, but Haechi’s familiar face has your eyes smiling. “Y/n-nie! Long time no see,” she opens her arms, and you gladly hop down to hug her. Bada watched the interaction, not knowing how to react to this side of you. You looked overjoyed to see the girl, and she may not be able to see your face, but the new energy made her feel a sense of loss.

She didn’t understand why you favored Haechi but not her. They were both tall, popular basketball team captains and had similar recognition in school. The only thing Haechi had over Bada was her straight A’s in classes. Was that the thing that would get you to like her? Bada grumbled at the concept. She wasn’t failing or anything, or else she couldn’t play on the team, but ALL her grades were not close to par with Haechi’s, not even a little bit. When her attention returns to the two of you, she sees you handing a new water bottle to Heachi, who thanks you. “You two seem close,” she tells them, and her co-captain looks at you almost with cherishing eyes. “Y/n’s the best man. Helped me a lot throughout high school,” you wave your hands in denial. “Heachi, you did your best in high school with or without my help. You’re hard-working,” your voice appears in a softer tone. Bada wanted to roll her eyes hard, but she left you two to change.

Bada wasn’t jealous, but maybe being narked was the better way to express her feelings. The girl was the type of person to feel better and superior to everyone else, so the fact that Haechi was already on your good side had her deep in her cycling thoughts. She needed to work hard to get this version of you, and not just with the project.

When she finishes, she tells you to go with her, and you hug Haechi before leaving the court and going to the parking lot with Bada. As she drove, she tried to make some conversation. “You started the project, right?” “Yeah.”

“You might have to teach me a few things so I can actually help.” “Sure.”

“You like computer science?” “Yup.”

That. That was the substance you gave Bada after every question. It made her want to jump out of the moving car, her ego bruised by your one-word replies. She stops trying after 10 minutes, letting the silence overwhelm you two, and you couldn’t have been any happier with the lack of sound. The car pulls up to this large mansion, and you try to hide your awe. This house was huge. Probably being able to hold the capacity of 200 students. “Come on in,” she invites with the large open door.

When you entered, your eyes marveled at the marble architecture, the classical aesthetic being the prominent feature of the house. Bada then leads you to the living room, where you sit timidly on her couch. “Do you want anything to drink?” She asks you as your eyes still wander the house. “Um, I’m ok.”

“Well, let me just change before we start,” you nod, taking out your laptop and notebook, trying to get a bit comfortable for your peace of mind. You pull up the empty website domain with only your school's colors and a sleek banner that takes up a decent amount of the screen. After 10 minutes, Bada returns with gray basketball shorts and a tight wife beater as her top. Your eyes go up and down her figure before focusing on the monitor.

You were honest, and as much as you didn’t understand Bada’s playgirl mentality, you did understand her appeal to the female population in school. Her tall figure, the varieties of colors she’d use on her long hair that cascaded all the way down to her waist, and the hats she wore to hold a sense of mystery were the perfect formula for the way to a girl’s heart.

“So what should I do?” Bada says, sitting beside you, which had you scoot in the opposite direction. “We can split the parts. Professor Min already put up the criteria for the website. I can do the harder stuff like navigation, school history, subjects, majors, and minors.” You tell her as you view the recent handout your professor had put up. “That’s too much, no? All I’d have left is the decorating, department information, and help desk information. Why don’t I help you with the major and minors?” You look at her with bewildered eyes, “You sure? A lot of coding and linking goes into that?” The taller one nods confidently, “You just have to teach me, and I’m sure I’ll be able to do it.” You nod with some hesitation.

“How about we start brainstorming the website's theme, and we can start with the project next week?”

“Sure, but why next week? My practices always end at 5-6 PM, so we should have time.” You shake your head, “it’s not because of you. I'm just gonna be busy with the school council this week.” And Bada looks at you in surprise, “Your part of the school council?”

“Yeah, but I’m just the secretary. Since the sports events are around the corner, I have to oversee everybody and their work,” you explain. Bada feels the admiration brewing inside her. She was aware of your hardworking nature, well, everyone was. You were the top student for a reason, but this put you on a different playing field. On top of your multiple studies, you did your due diligence as a prominent figure on their school council.

“Well, why aren’t you the president?” You scoffed, following a pity laugh, “Bada, I can’t lead anyone to save my life.” She stares at you, not understanding your point, and you take notice. “I might be smart, but that doesn’t mean I have leadership skills.”

“Maybe I can help you,” the tall girl shrugs. She thought she was a good captain for her team, so with that credit, she could give you pointers. “It’s fine. I like my position. I get to help everyone.” The two of you let the time pass as you continued to work on the project before ending the night.

The next few days, you had a lot on your plate. You were running around the school, ensuring all the projects and events were being set up properly, writing reports, and then reporting to the president and vice president about overseeing.

During this time, Bada rarely saw you in class, and she thought about how busy you’d be. You weren’t lying, huh.

But on a Thursday afternoon, you watched the gym setup and saw Bada’s little group chilling on the bleachers. Another student, Doyoung, walks in with papers stacked in his hands. It was all the papers you needed to sign and read through, but a basketball flew in his direction before he could reach you. His head throbs as he drops the papers, and you see Bada’s groupies laughing as Bada yells, “Sorry, Do-ah, the ball slipped out my hands,” she says as she collects the ball and returns to the bleachers. You ran over to the boy, helping him get the papers and helping him up. “Doyoung? Are you okay?” You help the boy up, and he stares at you, dizziness coating his face. You glare at Bada, who catches a glimpse of your raging eyes, and she realizes her fuck up in an instant.

“Come on, let me take you to the nurse,” you say as you grab his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Shit,” Bada says as she watches the two of you leave, you having the stacks of heavy paper sticking out of your bag. “Looks like your timing is off this time,” Noze teases, and Bada thinks she has to make it up to you. She ran out of the gym, trying to catch up to you. She found you settling Doyoung on the nurse's bench as you explained what happened, and to avoid punishment, she waited for you to leave the office before she could talk to you.

Walking out, you make eye contact with the basketball player and scoff at the sight. You tried to walk past her, but she stopped you, pulling your arm, “Y/n, wait.” You rip your arm away, feeling grossed out by her touch. “Did you feel cool?” You bluntly ask, and Bada is taken aback at your tone. “No, that’s not it-”

“Then what is it, Bada? It doesn’t take much to be nice, but it sure does take a lot of energy to be as rude as you.” The disappointment felt like knives to Bada’s heart. It felt like the same judgment she got from her parents, and now you were saying it to her? It made her want to suffocate six feet under. “I just wanted to be funny. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I’m sorry,” she mumbles as her head hangs low. “That apology shouldn’t be for me, asshole. Apologize to Doyoung,” you tell her, leaving her where she stands as you are still much to do. “Doyoung-ah, just text me later when you get home,” the younger boy nods, and you return to your busy day.

“Dude, I apologized to Doyoung yesterday, and she still hasn’t texted me anything about the project,” Bada tells her friends as she paced back and forth. “I don’t see what the big deal is,” Aiki says, and Bada looks at her in distress. “It’s a big deal 'cause I need that A to play in that prelims.”

“Maybe give her something to make it up to her?” Lee Jung suggests that Bada’s eyes grow at her words, remembering Haechi’s words. “The blue Monster,” she gasps, and her friends look at her weirdly as she runs off campus. Bada went to the convenience store, buying a can of Monster energy drink, some cookies, and an egg sandwich. It was early morning, so she knew she’d find you in the library at your usual spot.

Instead of being on your laptop this time, your eyes never left the papers you read and signed. Not even noticing her presence, Bada drops the bag lightly on the desk and pushes it in your direction. You look up, see the girl’s sorry face, and check the inside of the bag. “What’s this?”

“My apology to you for being a dick. I also apologized to Doyoung yesterday, so I’m in the clear.” You roll your eyes and sigh heavily, “Why are you like this, Bada?” Now she was confused, “What do you mean?”

“You're capable of being nice to people like me, so why can’t you do it to others?” Because other people won't help my grade, Bada thought. “I’m not sure,” Bada acts, trying to look ashamed. “But I know I’ll try my best to change,” she says, that confident smile taking place on her face again.

So, during the next few weeks, you worked with Bada. She did her best to show you the better version of herself. Yes, she was acting initially, but as time passed, she got comfortable with the routines. She attended classes earlier, paid attention, participated, and even studied. The week after the altercation, Bada had asked you to tutor her in certain subjects, and you gladly accepted, liking the direction of her change.

So, the two of you sat in her home on a Friday afternoon after school, and you were working on your chemistry assignments. You had become comfortable in the setting after working at her home a few times. “Y/n-ah, help me with this long-ass formula. It's confusing.” You giggle at the pout on her lips and check the screen. “The prefix is hepta- and check out the periodic table for the names.” You point to the table of chemical symbols, and Bada begins to understand the list of prefixes on the coffee table.

You continued your work and studied the current topic you guys were on. Bada looked at you, wondering, “I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable, but why do you always wear a mask?” You pause, not expecting the surprise question. “It just makes school go by faster. Drama-free too,” you express, and Bada rolls her eyes. “But it’s just you and I here.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that it makes my life easy,” you state. “Look, tomorrow, when you come over for the project, come without the mask, please?” You look at her in confusion, wondering why she was pressing on so much. But seeing her giving you puppy eyes, you reluctantly agreed, “Fine.”

“Great! Now help me with this question, please?” You laugh at her struggle.

The next day, you woke up to prepare for the long day. You took a shower, did your everyday skincare, and ensured you looked presentable. You were much more alert about your looks when you didn't wear the mask. You wanted to feel confident and ensured you did when applying the lip oil and putting your hair in a high ponytail.

You took an Uber to Bada’s place and rang the doorbell. When Bada opens the door, she takes in your appearance. You were out of your uniform for once, and the hairstyle displayed your small face clearly. Bada looks at you fondly, not expecting such a pretty girl to hide behind the mask daily. Even with the glasses on, your eyes looked large, and your heart-shaped lips colored bright pink. The tall girl couldn’t pull her eyes away from your lips. They looked too juicy not to kiss.

“Are you gonna let me in, or should I just stay out here?” Bada shakes her thoughts away and moves to the side. “So you were hiding this the entire time?” She asks as she pats your head, and you swat her hand away. “You practically begged for this.”

“And I’m not complaining,” She continues, staring at you, “go to school like this man.” “Okay, it was one thing asking me to come to your house like this, but school? Never happening.” You tell her, settling your bag down on the couch. “Wait, we should work in my room today. My parents are gonna be home today.”

She leads you into her room, the cool gray walls blinding your eyes. You observe your surroundings, surprised to see the clean room. She puts your bag on the office chair and lets you sit on her bed. You began to talk about what you’ve done on the project, but as you talked, Bada wasn’t even concerned about your words, focusing on your body more. Your outfit made Bada want to have you moaning underneath her, chest rising up and down as you begged for more.

“Bada?” You check on her worryingly. “Yes?” She whispers, still not staring at your face. “Have you done the majors and minors?” “I finished the majors, but I’m still working on the minors,” she tells you, clearly still entranced. “Can you show me?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” She shakes her head and takes her laptop out, showing the work she had completed, and you were visibly pleased with the progress. “This is actually really good. Nice job,” your validation had her heart swelling as your grin held a tint of pride. “Maybe you can finish up the minors today? Just so your work goes by faster.” She nods and checks out all the work you’ve done as well. “You finished all of these? That fast?” She stares at the screen, astonished by the amount of stuff you did the past two weeks. “Anything that needs to be done on a computer, I can do in a quick flash,” you joke, but it holds some sincerity. “I’m trying to be like you, girl,” She comments, and you laugh.

“Let’s do this so we don’t have much left to do next week.” With those words, the two of you worked the entire day. By the next time you checked the time, you realized the hours passed quickly. “Damn, it’s already 4 PM?” This also makes Bada check her phone, “Oh, your right. You want something to eat?” “I wouldn’t mind that actually.”

The two of you enter her kitchen, and Bada heated up some leftover Chinese food she had left in the fridge. Once you guys were eating, Bada tried to get to know you more, finding your presence comforting. “So, Y/n, why do you work so hard in school?” Your mind malfunctions at the question, unsure if you should be honest with the girl. “Um~,” you start, slowly picking at your food. “It’s mainly for my mom. My dad left us for his other family when I was five, and she raised me all by herself. This is the only way to give her a good life after everything she has gone through.” Your voice said with a hint of sadness, and Bada watched your pretty face fall. You wiped away the slight tears that formed. “You’re a good person, Y/n. Never forget that,” She tells you, and you find your heart racing at the words. Bada never had this effect on you, but her words of encouragement made your day.

She was about to continue the conversation, but another tall, more mature woman walked in the room, eyes looking cautiously at the sight of you. “Bada,” she called your partner's name, and you look surprised at Bada’s figure. She straightened herself up, fixing her appearance slightly. “Mother.”

“Who is this?” The older woman’s hand points over in your direction, and before Bada can answer, you decide to try and please the stern woman. “My name is Baek Y/n mam. I’m Bada’s partner for our computer science project. It’s nice to meet you.” You bow at the woman, and her eyebrows raise at your politeness. “Good manners, proper style, pretty face, excellent speaker,” her mom states, as her gaze moves around your body. “You should be more like this, Bada.”

“Mom, not in front of her, please,” Bada’s voice goes small, and you regret speaking up. “What? It’s true. Instead of basketball, you should be a model student. I should thank your teacher for partnering you up with this young woman.”

“I don’t know how we failed to raise you. This is how you should’ve turned out,” The older woman goes to your side, using her two hands to present you as if you were a presentation. Bada’s feelings were in a whirlwind. She wasn’t sure if she could be mad at you, her mom, or just the world. Her mom wasn’t even wrong. You were perfect in every way, and she was the disappointment. Two different worlds were crossing paths, and she was beginning to wish she was partnered with another individual instead of you.

Your eyes grow at her mother’s harsh words, and you shake your head, moving away from the woman. She wasn’t even aware of Bada’s new changes and efforts the last few days, but she belittled her daughter. “Madam, with all due respect-”

“Y/n. Don’t,” The tall girl tells you, with a stern voice, her breathing going shaky. “You right, mother. I’ll do better,” Bada says, head hanging low as she walks past the two of you. “What a dramatic girl,” You hear her mom telling herself, and you do your best not to ridicule the woman. “I’ll go check up on her,” you bow and run up to Bada’s room, finding the door shut. When entering, her back was turned to you as she sat on the edge of her bed. You were about to reach out on her shoulder but halted when you heard the sniffles as they gradually grew heart-wrenching. You rush to Bada’s side without any reluctance, pulling her into a hug. The warmth engulfing Bada had her break down instantly, never having anyone hold her as you did. Your eyes teared up at the sounds of her hyperventilating, her grip on your shoulder becoming tighter.

You then thought this was such a common occurrence for Bada. She put up this facade in school, wanting the attention of other women, and finally understood where it all stemmed from. Bada just wanted to feel loved and longed for, but with a household like this, it felt so hard to even ask for. She shouldn’t even have to ask. It was her mother, after all.

“Bada, you’re doing your best. Don’t let your mom’s words take that away from you.” You whisper as you rub her back, “If you ever want to talk, you can always talk to me.”

Bada begins to calm down at your words, the shakiness in her voice fading away. “Thank you, Y/n-ah.” She whispers, leaving her head on your shoulders. She wavers and asks, “Can you come to my game on Friday?”

“Of course. I’ll be your personal cheerleader,” you quip, in a shot to make her feel better, which works when a cheesing smile forms on her face. “You’d only cheer for me?” “Maybe for Haechi as well,” you tease, and she hits your arm with a pout. “Okay, ouch. I’ll cheer for you only, damn. No need to get violent on me.” Bada laughs at your words.

You try to stray from the topic, but you can’t help but ask, “Does she talk to you that way all the time?” Bada sighs, “Yeah, basically every time she’s home.” The lightbulb in your head flickers when she says, “My house may not be as extravagant as yours, but how about we work on the project on my house on Tuesday? I’ll send you my address, and you can come over after practice,” Bada’s eyes shined at the proposal. “I’d be honored.”

So the following Tuesday, you come home and relax on your bed before deciding to take a shower, feeling the stickiness of your sweat getting to you. You changed into a large baby pink shirt and some pajama shorts. Deciding to get a head start, you started your other assignments before Bada could get there. You worked on your easy English paper as you waited for the time to pass and heard the doorbell. Your eyes checked the time, and seeing 6 PM, you already knew who it was. You open the door to find Bada changed into gray sweatpants, an oversized hoodie, and one of her iconic hats covering her head. “Well, Miss Bada, welcome to my humble abode,” you say, welcoming her in. Bada’s eyes roam around, taking in the simplicity of the house, finding it shocking as she took a liking to it. “It feels… homey,” She mumbles, and you pat her shoulder. “I have more space in my room. Let’s work there.”

Bada’s eyes wander to your exposed thighs when going up the stairs. They looked so thick and plump. Bada, never realizing the build of your body, wanted to grip your thighs until they were turning red. Once you let her into your sacred space, Bada sees the tiny potted plants you kept, shelves full of books, your desk looking organized, and your twin-sized bed and pillows wrapped in a light purple set.

“So I have the navigation and research of the school's history. I might leave that research for next week to work on other subjects today.” Bada nods, settling on your bed and opening her laptop, “What other assignments do you have to do?”

“I’m trying to finish my English paper and then study for next week’s Chemistry exam.” “CHEM EXAM?” Bada yells, startling you into a jump. “Yes, Bada, chemistry exam.” Bada rubs the back of her neck, “Can you help me study?” You smile at her, “Of course.” The two of you finished the topics you agreed to do today, and Bada explained that she only had the decorating left. “Y/n?” You hear a voice coming from downstairs, and you smile, “Yes, mom?”

“Did you and your friend eat yet?” Bada is bewildered at the foreign voice. Your mom knew she was here? “We haven’t yet!” You voice out as you put your hair up in a messy bun. “Come down and eat. I made some mandu and kimchi jiigae,” Bada’s eyes brightened at the names of the food. You giggle at her face and pull her into the kitchen with you. Bada makes eye contact with your mom, and the woman gasps. “Y/n, you didn’t tell me how beautiful your friend was.”

“Mom, stop~,” you whine as you give her a welcoming hug. Bada smiles at your relationship with your mom. It is the exact opposite of what she was used to. “Let me help you with setting up the table?” Your mom handed you the plates and utensils, “get comfortable, Bada. You’re about to eat some of the best food ever,” You tell the tall girl, trying to tease your mom, who laughs at your comment. “Come on, sweaty, sit down,” Your mom tells the basketball player as she puts both dishes at the center of your table.

“How was school you two?” Bada almost chokes on her first bite of food as your mom asks, not used to the motherly love. “Oh dear, here, have some water, darling,” Your mom pours a glass as you pat Bada’s back. “I’m sorry. Um, school was alright, thank you for asking,” Bada says, mumbling, and you smile pityingly at your mom. “Same mom, nothing new.”

“That’s good!” She finishes, letting you all eat in peace. “Have you rested this past week, Y/n?” You grin at your mom’s question, “You know I try and stop doing work an hour before I go to bed, Mom.” “That doesn’t count.”

You sigh, “Don’t worry. I plan to go to Bada’s game on Friday, so I’ll take a break then.” Your mom gets excited, “Really? Good luck with your game. I hope you guys win!” Your mom was joyful, even with what had happened in the past, which made her your hero. “I hope we win too, Ms. Baek,” Bada gives an appreciating smile. “Oh, please call me mom. Any friend of Y/n can call me Mom. She rarely has any friends, so,” Your mom whispers her ending statement, and you roll your eyes at her. “Can we not expose Y/n? Thanks,” You say, pointing to yourself. The two smile at your gesture, and Bada teases you, “She’s not wrong.”

“Look at what you started, Mom!”

After you ate and studied with Bada, it was already 9 PM as you walked her out of your house. “You’re mom is the sweetest person on Earth,” Bada says, a sense of peace taking over her as she held the bag of food your mom had packed for her. “I know,” you giggle, knowing how your mom was. She accepted everyone and anyone as long as they treated you and her kindly.

“Thank you, Y/n. You’ve been helping me so much recently, and I don’t know how to pay you back,” she says, bringing you into the tightest hug. Your chest pounded, feeling a new overwhelming feeling of emotions. You knew that you and Bada had become closer in the past few weeks, but now you blushed at her touch, making you nervous.

There was no way you were starting to like her, right? You believed Bada was changing for the better. She had stopped flirting with so many girls, focused more on school, and acted as a more proper captain for her team. That’s what you thought, at least.

It was Thursday morning, before Bada’s game, and she was chilling on her hour break with the rest of her friends. “How has the project been going?” Emma asks with genuine interest. “It’s actually really good,” She simply states, and her friends stare at each other, unsure of how to go about her answer. “You remember our deal, right?” Lee Jung asks the taller, reminding her of her words two weeks ago. “Of course, I do,” Bada’s words felt like a harsh smack to the face. Her statement simmered in her mind like she was lying to herself.

Bada knew she was changing, and whether she would like to admit it or not, the thought scared her. It was because of you and only you. She was never meant to go this deep or even this far with your friendship. She couldn’t help herself, though. She shared tears with you, personal issues her friends didn’t even know about, and even bonding with your own mother. Feeling like a brand new person, Bada felt liberated and accomplished. Lately, she thought she could stick up to her parents, defending herself from their judgmental words. Last night, during their family dinner, Bada’s mother and father had some words for her again. “Bada, your grades better be good this semester, or you’ll be sent to military school.” Her father tells her in an eerie, monotone voice. Bada looks at them, sensing betrayal. “Do you guys even love me?” “What kind of question is that?” Her mom gazes at the girl, the cold look never leaving her gaze. “You haven’t even noticed the effort I’ve been putting in the last few days. Everything I do is never enough for the both of you.” Bada’s parents were taken aback at their daughter's sudden outburst. “Maybe if you were putting this much energy before, we wouldn’t have to say anything to you,” her father points out. “It’s because of that Y/n girl. I should thank her for you.” Bada grumbles at the authority, not wanting to hear the same crap repeatedly. “I understand I may not have been the best child. Trust me, I know. But maybe if you two showed even the tiniest bit of compassion and love, I wouldn’t have turned out this way.” That statement had both her parents shut up, letting her words brew in their minds.

“Bada,” she hears your voice, pulling her out of her thoughts, and everyone looks at you. Your eyes looked at them weirdly as they looked surprised at your presence. “Are you free on Sunday? I have things to do on Saturday, but we can probably finish the project by the end of this week.” She smiles at you, “No problem, we only have a little to go anyways. It shouldn’t take that long.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you wave off, and Bada’s friends sat there, frozen at the exchange. “That might be the first time I’ve ever heard her voice,” Aiki says, hypnotized by your sweet voice. “I might have to snatch her up from you, Bada.” Noze kids, but Bada looks at her with stone-cold eyes, “No.”

Her friends sit there, unknowingly triggering something inside the tall girl. “It was just a joke, Bada, chill.” Lee Jung tells her as she shakes her head.

Emma looks at her, eyes growing at the assumption, “Are you falling for the girl?” Bada instantly looks at her like she’s crazy, “I just want to finish this project before you guys try anything,” she says, saving herself.

Being oblivious to Bada’s words, you were excited about her game tomorrow. Your outfit was planned. You had snacks and a Gatorade for Bada to drink during her match. Since Tuesday night, Bada had been running on your mind constantly, and you weren’t sure how to handle your feelings. It was the first time you were hardcore crushing on someone, and this project made it challenging to contain your emotions. Her presence, attention, and beauty had you fixated. Since this was a first for you, you wanted to slow it down, trying to navigate it as you went.

So when game day finally came, you wore your hair up in a sleek ponytail and wore an extra jersey that Bada had given you with the number 22. You paired it with some simple Air Forces and ripped baggy jeans. Keep up the mysterious facade. You had your black mask covering the lower half of your face. Everyone stared at you as you sat on the court, wondering what your relationship was with their school’s basketball captain. You only kept your eyes down, not enjoying the amount of attention you were getting.

Bada comes out from the locker room in full uniform and her eyes find your body, and an unconscious smile takes over her face. You looked adorable in the oversized jersey, and Bada just wanted to run up and hug you, but the game was starting soon, and the team had to warm up.

You space out, but the loud blaring of the alarm shocks you out of it. As a book-believing student, you weren’t familiar with the rules or how the sport worked, but Bada made it worthwhile. Bada was noticeably agile and had a massive amount of stamina compared to everyone on the court. As you watched and cheered after her every shot, a blonde girl noticed your attire. A scowl and a look of disgust replaced her cheers. You weren’t even aware of her, focusing on the tall girl the entire time.

When half-time took place, you handed Bada the drink you had prepared for her. Smiling at your gesture, she thanked you and sipped as their coach spoke to them.

The game started again, and as the timer was hitting the last few seconds, the score stood at 86-87, the score slim to the tee. Your heart beats anxiously as you watch Bada maneuver through the court. Haechi had passed the ball to her co-captain, and at 5 seconds, Bada had taken her chance at a three-pointer, and everyone held their breath as the ball spun around the rim. So when the ball fell in at the last second, all your school's students jumped and cheered at the epic finale. Bada looks over at you again, seeing your proud eyes on her. She blew a kiss at you, and you giggled as she celebrated with her team.

“Hey,” you hear her voice and turn around to see her sweaty figure, as her cheesing grin never leaves her face. “Wait for me at the parking lot? I’ll give you a ride home.” She offers, and you nod, pulling down your mask, not wanting to hide your thrilled face. “You were amazing out there, Bada.” The sincerity of your voice made Bada weak to her knees, and she felt giddy inside. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” You nod, leaving the gym to the parking lot, where you wait, sitting on a bench. When Bada watches you go, she feels the butterflies in her stomach and stands there terrified. The girl started falling for you, the feelings piling up since your first study session. This couldn’t be happening. Bada’s pride wouldn’t let it happen, so she had to do something about it fast.

20 minutes had passed, and Bada still hadn’t come out. Worrying began to fill your mind. You kept checking your phone every minute, and the same anxiety overtook you. You decided to look for her, which honestly didn’t take long. You turned the corner of your school's building. You saw two figures holding each other tightly as they enthusiastically made out with each other.

Due to the darkness of the night, you squinted at the sight, but as it became clear, your heart broke into a million pieces, feeling like it was now dust. It was Bada and another girl. They pull away from each other, breathing heavily, and you hide behind the corner you turned from. “What about that other girl?” The unfamiliar voice asks. “What other girl?” “The girl wearing your jersey?” You swallowed lightly, your chest becoming heavy in your current position. “She’s no one, baby. Don’t worry about it. She was just a little bet.” You hear her, and you sob in silence, walking away from the detrimental scene that just occurred right in front of you.

You sit at the curb, staring at the stars, and laugh at yourself, “You’re so stupid, Y/n. So stupid,” you mumble, the tears getting harder to contain as Bada’s words repeat in your mind. Of course, you were just a bet for her. You were just another girl added to her collection, and it made you fall into despair. She cried to you and opened up, yet you were just another girl. You hit your head lightly in frustration with yourself. “Y/n?”

You jolt up from your spot, wiping your staining tears away, and turn around to find Haechi, who looks at you worried. “You okay?” You nod with a deep breath and huff, “Yeah, just feeling down right now. No biggy,” you try saving yourself, but the cracks in your voice tell the girl otherwise. “What are you still doing here-” She was about to ask but realized what may have happened since she saw Bada walking out with some blonde student from her Physics class. Haechi’s face was now painted sorrowfully, engulfing you in a hug. Her touch had triggered the waterworks again, and you were now crying again, breaths getting weaker when each tear dropped. “I’m so fucking stupid, Haechi. I hate her. I hate her so much,” the tall girl rubs your back, letting you release your anger and sadness. “Don’t say that Y/n-nie, you’re the smartest girl in school. Bada is just… ruthless.” Haechi states, some rage hiding under her voice. She had warned Bada, and the captain still went against her word. “I’m like every other girl, Haechi.”

The tall girl pulls away, shaking her head furiously, “No. No, you’re not. Come on, let me take you home.” You nod, too tired to say anything and sit in Haechi’s car, taking a nap on the way home as you wasted so much energy.

Bada was now trying to look for you everywhere, not noticing how long she took, keeping you waiting.

Bada Y/n? Where are you?

She waited for a response, but it never came. She began to worry but let the win of her game control her mind. An hour later, she was home, and you just got back to her.

Y/n-ah😚 My mom wanted me to go home early. Sorry.

Bada sighed in relief. At least you were safe at home. She was about to respond, but you texted her again.

Y/n-ah😚 About the project, don’t worry about it. I’m finishing it tonight and sending it to Professor Min tomorrow morning.

The tall girl furrows her brows.

Bada Are you okay?

Y/n-ah😚 Splendid.

Safe to say, Bada was terrified at your one-word answers. She felt back at square one, but little did she know she wasn’t even close. Not anymore.

The next time Bada saw you, you were both in school, and she approached you with your favorite drink. “My payment for last week,” she says, handing the drink to you, and you dismiss the interaction instantly. “I’m good,” you tell her and just walk away. Bada stares at you in confusion and is about to go after you but sees you standing at Haechi’s locker. From afar, her co-captain seemingly handed you a blue Monster can, and you hug the girl, thankfully. The interaction had Bada bothered and angry. You took Haechi’s drink but not hers?

She would talk to you about it one way or another, but she couldn’t find you the entire day. The fact that you didn’t have computer science today didn’t help the matter. So Bada decided to talk to you at your house. The rain began to pour, but it wasn’t stopping her from finding out what was wrong. She rang the bell at your gate, unsure if you were home, but when you opened the door, a glimmer of hope sparked until you spoke. “Go home, Bada.”

“What?” “I said go home,” your monotone voice made her want to hide. “Y/n, talk to me, please?” “Why should I?” She looks at you in shock. “What happened?”

“You wanna know so bad?” You walk up to the gate, anger fueling your eyes. Not even caring about the pouring weather. “Somehow, me being the smartest girl in school means nothing when it comes to you.”

Bada didn’t say a word, not knowing where this conversation was going. “Congrats, Bada, you made the top student in school look like the most mindless person in the world.” Bada’s eyes widen, “what do you mean-”

“Oh, don’t act stupid.” You groan and look at her with eyes of disgust. Bada sunk into the thought. She was back to square one. “I seriously don’t understand-” “You don’t understand sucking off another girl’s face while I waited for you in the parking lot? God, when I thought there was progress in your thought process these past few weeks, but I guess I was wrong.”

That’s what froze Bada, her heart dropping at the statement. You saw and heard everything. Bada only wanted to beg for forgiveness right then and there, but she knew she had no right to. It's not like you were gonna accept it anyway. “Y/n I-”

“Just save it, Bada. You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it. I’m just another girl, right? Or what was it you told blondie? A bet?” Bada had no words to save herself, wanting the ground to swallow her whole in shame. “Forget about it, Bada, forget we were ever friends.” You left the conversation at that, slamming the front door behind you. That’s when you broke down. The crying just couldn’t stop, kneeling on the floor of your home as the dreadful silence filled your ears as you heard the heavy rain and thunder pouring outside the windows. For once, you hated the silence.

The next day, Bada wanted to try and apologize again. She looked and looked, not finding you anywhere on campus. She then looks for her second-best bet and sees her standing with her friends. “Haechi!” Bada runs up to the girl as she waves her friends off. Her co-captains eyes held frustration, and it told Bada she also knew the situation. “Do you know where Y/n is?” “Why? So you can break her even more?” Bada knew to expect this, but she wasn’t expecting to be cornered by the girl who shoved her into the lockers.

“I fucking told you, Bada, but what Bada wants, Bada gets, right?” Haechi’s pointer finger drilled into her chest, and the captain winced in pain. “I-I wanna make it right.” “Too fucking late.”

Bada’s body ignores the pain at her words, “What do you mean?” Haechi looks at the girl whose eyes began to water slightly. “She’s leaving for the States. The school gave her an internship for 5 months.” Bada’s world crumbles, and she takes out her phone, sending you multiple messages.

Bada Y/n, I’m sorry. Please don’t go. It was a mistake. I was stupid. I was falling for you, and I was scared. Y/n?

Bada’s tears were uncontrollable as they fell, reading how her messages weren’t sending. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” Bada was now beating herself up in the middle of the hallway. She was hitting her head hard with her fist, pulling her hair harshly, and everyone who saw looked at her in worry. Haechi was shocked at the girl’s actions, seeing how bad she genuinely felt. She did her best to pull Bada’s arms away, and Bada slid down to the floor, blubbering as Haechi did her best to stop the girl from hurting herself. “I’m so fucking stupid, Haechi.” Her teammate didn’t know how to respond, just holding Bada’s arms down as she cried her pain away.

A/n: SHIT IS INTESNE RN DAM.

Tag list: @chipswsauce @nimixe @yooqui @eeeetaetterswife @efyyylee @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog

#gxg #wlw #bada lee #bada lee x reader #bebe #street woman fighter 2 #street woman fighter x reader #swf2 x reader #swf 2 x reader #swf x reader #bada lee x fem reader #ssivinee

952 notes · View notes

yandere-daydreams · 1 year

Text

tw - nonconsensual drug use, kidnapping/imprisonment, nonconsensual touching, and obsessive behavior.

One of them put something in your tea.

You think it was Alhaitham – smug, scheming Alhaitham, who never greeted you with anything more than a dead-eyed stare and never kept you for anything less than an hour when he called you aside for a one-sided conversation in his rarely used office nestled in among the highest alcoves of the Akademiya. You didn’t trust him, didn’t like how willing he was to abandon his duties in favor of chasing whatever his fickle curiosity latched onto, didn’t feel comfortable with the way his eyes pried into you when you were alone together. He’d been the one to invite you over to the apartments he and Kaveh shared, too, to ignore your requests to see the artifacts he claimed to have found during his latest expedition in favor of forcing one of Kaveh's well-love clay mugs into your hands. It’d probably been him. It’d make sense, to both your rational mind and the sentimental creature inside of you, if it’d been him.

Which is exactly why the scholar constantly gnawing at the back of your mind – ever-doubtful, ever-distrusting – screamed that it had to have been Kaveh. You liked him more than you liked Alhaitham, trusted him more than you could ever trust Alhaitham, and he’d had just as much time with the drink that’d just barely touched your lips, muttering about Alhaitham’s nonexistent sense of taste as he shoveled sugar into your mug by the spoonful. You admired him, too; unlike Alhaitham, Kaveh threw himself wholly and entirely into his work, his research, and he’d never had to corner you to have your full attention. That was why it was so easy to tell yourself that you should’ve been more careful, that you should’ve been more wary of the threat that presented itself as aid than the one who wore its true colors proudly. It was definitely Kaveh. Or, it was definitely Alhaitham.

Or, it didn’t matter which one of them put something in your tea, because one of them had put something in your tea and neither of them seemed to care.

You could already feel some of the more pronounced effects setting in; your hands limp and numb where they’d fallen into your lap, your tongue dry and swollen in your mouth, your vision already beginning to blur around the edges. You were still sitting at their claustrophobic kitchen table, Kaveh less than arm’s length to your right and Alhaitham far enough to stare you down from a careful distance, but you had to strain to listen to their conversation. “You’re never home,” Kaveh droned, in the tone he only seemed to use when talking to Alhaitham. “The poor thing would die of neglect in the first week. You couldn’t take care of a houseplant, much less a person.”

“Houseplants require a great deal of research and intuition. People tend to be much louder about their wants and needs.” Likewise, Alhaitham was using the tone he saved exclusively for Kaveh; one of self-gratifying neutrality, as if the pedestal he’d put himself on was too tall to let him notice something as insignificant as Kaveh’s frustration. “And it's not as if you can be trusted with this kind of responsibility. Not for any longer than a few hours, at least.”

There was a beat of silence. When Alhaitham failed to go on, Kaveh let out an exasperated groan. “What’s that supposed to mean, scribe?”

“Oh, only that an architect as passionate as you are tends to be easily distracted. I’d give it...” He quirked his head to the side, gaze shifting to something purposefully distant. “…three days before a new proposal catches your eye, and I know how difficult it can be for you to balance more than one project at a time.”

“See, that’s your problem. You think of them as an object that must be dusted off once or twice a week, whereas I see them as my beautiful and beloved lover who I want nothing more than to spend time with.” Something about Alhaitham’s frown quirked, and Kaveh hastily corrected himself. “Alright, my soon-to-be lover. It doesn’t matter – even if I don’t take the first turn, they’ll be in my loving arms eventually, and once they are, they'll never want to go back to yours. I’d tell you to save yourself a heartbreak, but I’m still not sure if you have a heart.”

Now it was Alhaitham’s turn to put on a façade of mock-exasperation, letting out a breathy exhale as he leaned onto the tabletop. “Timing can be very important. Whatever we do, whoever gets to do it – they’re going to set a precedent. Since I don’t want to have another brat under my roof, we have to be careful.”

To his credit, Kaveh didn’t try to deny it, merely leveling the accusation back at Alhaitham. “You? Careful? Which one of us thought he could take the General Mahamatra in a fight?”

And, to Alhaitham’s credit, he didn’t waste his breath trying to fight for his innocence, either. Rather, he turned to you, sharp eyes immediately piercing the very depths of your soul. “(Y/n),” and then, in a voice slightly softer than the one he’d addressed Kaveh with, “What do you think? You’re rational enough to know who’d take better care of you.”

You managed to open your mouth, to pry your lips apart and start to spit out something halfway coherent.

Then, without making a sound, you collapsed onto their table, knocking your mug to its side and spilling Alhaitham's awful tea onto their tiled floor.

Kaveh reacted first, gasping as he gathered you in his arms. You were dead weight, barely able to hold your own head up, but he made an effort to keep you upright, to pretend you were in any way acting of your own will as he pulled you against his chest and raked his calloused fingers against your damp hair. “Aw, look at the poor thing! I told you to use a smaller dose.”

The gratification was minimal, dampened by panic and exhaustion too ebbing to be natural. Something seemed to light behind Alhaitham’s dull eyes, and in turn, something jagged turned in your stomach. “I still need an answer,” he reiterated. You did your best to glare, to thrash Kaveh’s hold, but you could barely twitch, barely keep yourself conscious, and Alhaitham went on undeterred. “We’ll have to ask again once your head’s started to clear. The effect should only last for a few days – a week, at most, to give you time to adjust.”

Kaveh’s attention drifted downward, his lips brushing against the side of your throat. You felt his hair ghost over your shoulder as his head dipped lower, as his heart beat just a little faster against your back. Your eyes found Alhaitham, and for the first time since you’d first met him, his scowl broke to reveal a small, sharp smile.

“Until then, there should be enough of you to share.”

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere drabbles #yandere genshin imagines #yandere genshin #yandere genshin x you #yandere genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin impact #alhaitham x reader #yandere alhaitham #yandere kaveh #kaveh x reader #yanderecore #yancore

2K notes · View notes

ginnysgraffiti · 5 months

Text

i've received this ff request but since tumblr deleted it i wasn't able to answer directly to the person who sent it :,)

anyway, here's the ff!

needy y/n, overstimulation, hand-relief, self-stimulation, paul's dirty vision, 18+

&. PAUL ATREIDES x yn.

technically speaking you and paul were engaged.

it was he who declared himself, on the highest dune that could be glimpsed from your fremen camp.

that day the air was pleasant and the sand hardly rose.

you were immersed in a light conversation, which ended with paul meticulously explaining to you how his life was on caladan, his home planet.

life there sounded perfect the way the words slipped out of his perfect lips lightly coated with a few grains of melange spice.

you asked aloud what the sea was like, or rather, what it was.

on arrakis water was way more precious than spice, to stilgar and your people, and you couldn't imagine having an expanse of water (even salty) before your eyes.

paul noticed your incredulous expression and the way you raised your eyebrows and soft giggle left his lips.

looking at you again, he promised that he would take you to bathe in the sea, when political and war affairs would be over and he would finally bring the 'green paradise' written in the prophecy.

however, it wasn't the most romantic and exciting proposal that tickled his mind that day, even if it moved you anyway, because paul...well, he proposed more intimate things than a swim in the sea that evening.

that night you lost your virginity, and even though you were sure it was the same for him too, you didn't ask.

from the memory of that evening, bathed in your liquids and covered in sweet spice, paul's body never left your mind.

never.

in fact it was real torture when stilgar kept him for training or jessica took him out of your sight to talk about family or personal things.

one way or another, you and paul never had another chance to get back as close as the first evening, and it burned your gastric juices.

his mind was like war-set, and you didn't know if he could have time to satisfy your needs.

that evening you could still hear paul handling with his cryss, outside, probably with his skin shiny with sweat and his curls stuck to his forehead.

you coul hear his fighting movements, his labored breathing, and your mind could even see his hands shaking with adrenaline and his veins pumping.

that dirty thought got you soaked without even noticing.

now it was your breathing that stopped, and the only thing you wanted was for paul to enter the tent and touch you as only he did, and as only he had stopped (due to commitments) from doing...

the knot in the intestine wouldn't go away and the temperature seemed like a thermometer about to explode...

maybe you had a fever, maybe it was the effect it had on you.

he had on you.

you tried to make time fly by as much as possible, waiting for paul to get back to the tent, even though he would be too tired for any unhealthy plan you might have running through your gut.

your hands started to shake and a wave of tingles sucked you in

you felt the heat of your skin, even more accentuated by the fact that paul could return at any moment; a fire so hot that it only excited you terribly.

an unhealthy idea, in fact, took place in your mind and your hands began to move and travel across your body.

your breathing started to get heavy at the idea that paul could touch you like that. because you knew he could.

yes.

you dragged your own hands over your skin, starting with your neck and then in circular motions over your breasts before lingering on your belly.

the rhythm of your fingers becomes irregular and with the other hand you started making circular movements on the clitoris, now nothing but moans and incoherent words come out of your mouth.

you wanted paul.

your body felt the keen need to be touched by him, only by him.

you tried to push your fingers a little further in but you felt too close that you couldn't hide the desire to come thinking about how he would touch you.

you tried to regain some sanity when two strong hands pinned you even tighter against the carpet of the tent.

"were you practicing without me?"

his voice was incredibly hoarse and forced, perhaps due to training.

you couldn't tell if there was a smile or a threatening expression on his lips, by now your mouth was open, your head tilted back slightly and your fingers still down there.

you gave him a quick glance.

you were shocked, terrified and mesmerized.

those warm words wrapped in the smell of sweat, spice and vanilla from him made you tremble from head to toe...

a small laugh hit your ears, making you jump, and paul's hands grazed your arms, your hips, your chest, your breasts.

"really? touching yourself in the tent? without me? man, you must be so soaked..."

now his gaze was locked on your fingers still there.

fuck.

he moved the blanket and gently took them, putting them in his mouth and tasting your juices.

you moaned at his gesture, trying to look away but you were already too sensitive that you threw your head back again.

paul's lips passed over the tense skin of your neck, traveling along the jugular that was pumping like a madman, before stopping on your ear and blowing on it.

"why don't we get this done, hm? it would be a waste...and i need you, y/n" he hinted at an amused grin.

you could hear he was deadly needy.

you loved it.

"god y/n...i beg you, touch yourself again."

this was really unexpected from paul.

your eyes widened, but his intentions were real.

you then adjusted your position and you could feel the grin return to his face as your movements resumed slow, in and out, but now they were picking up the pace faster as at the sight of your boyfriend the excitement only accelerated in you.

you moaned his name, helpless to do anything else.

you pushed two fingers inside again, you couldn't take it anymore...

you needed him.

now.

“hell the sounds you make…are you close, y/n?”

you nodded slightly and he grinned proudly.

he got even closer and your heartbeat accelerated dramatically.

you had a machine gun instead of a heart.

hopelessly you instinctively clung to his shoulders, to his muscular neck, as his hands ran up your thighs.

his deep eyes stared at you and instead of being intimidated you felt hypnotized.

two fingers slipped inside your mouth, inviting it to open.

and you, victim of his beauty, did it.

he brushed his lips against your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin, marking it with possession.

your knees shook and a burning heat exploded between your thighs that you had to grip onto his shoulders again.

paul had already taken off your clothes.

you suddenly found yourself completely naked.

he slipped a thigh between your legs and pressed his knee against your most sensitive spot.

damn...

you closed your eyes and pressed your lips together to suppress a moan, maybe an orgasm.

you felt giddy, excited and hungry.

so much so that, against all shame, you began to follow those movements.

you wiggled your hips, grinding against her muscular leg.

he increased the intensity to let you feel him even more.

"you like it like that, don't you?" he asked, his voice hoarse with desire for him.

his kisses became more merciless and wild and his tongue melted against yours.

he then let one hand slide down.

he smiled at you, then kissed you softly.

paul continued to act skillfully but very slowly and, moving to the clit, he rubbed it with his index finger, then squeezed it tightly with his thumb.

that damn expert touch made you delirious.

he immediately withdrew his finger, however, giving you a jolt of indescribable pleasure and you let out a cry.

he stuck his finger in again, briefly.

he caressed your entire calf and then moved up your leg and ended up on your inner thigh.

"i want to kiss you here."

you froze at his words, but nodded.

something about the roughness he was practicing and the sweet permission that escaped his lips made you love him even more.

he leaned in and gently placed his lips on it.

with his wet tongue he licked on your clit, while his thin and veiny hands held your waist tightly.

"i feel you so tight..." he murmured.

he licked some more and his blue but not totally fremen eyes darkened feeling your sensitive spot twitch.

"were you like this even when you touched yourself for me?"

you tensed.

"relax baby...enjoy the moment, hm?"

he pushed his finger deeper but his words made you trust him and you tilted your head back, making your pupils roll as your hands ran through his hair to release the accumulated tension.

you pulled them even tighter, trying to tell him something you couldn't with words.

"say it" as if he almost read your mind, he ordered in the fremen language, and you almost actually came...

he turned you on like hell when he spoke in the same language as yours.

you looked at him biting your lips and your gaze fell on his mouth swollen and purple from his kisses.

his breaths are panting and fast, like yours.

then when he placed a small and delicate kiss on your belly you finally melted.

"do it, paul."

as soon as you felt his hot tongue inside you, his whole tent began to turn, move, distort above my eyes.

you pushed your hips against his mouth.

he didn't stop, in fact, he continued to lick you.

you were shaking and panting against the fabric of the carpet.

when you finally felt you were close again the mix of sensations was too powerful...

you were distraught, sweaty and hot.

"do you really think we're done? i still have to make up for all the last nights, baby."

#timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee x y/n #timothée chamalet #timothée x reader #dune part 2 #dune movie #paul atreides x you #paul atreides smut #paul atreides #paul x reader #paul atreides x reader #&. PAUL ATREIDES #&. PAUL ATREIDES x yn #&. PAUL ATREIDES x reader

242 notes · View notes

youremyheaven · 6 months

Text

Mrigashira: Obsessive & Obsessed Over

TW: suicide, rape, death, murder, abuse

This is part 2 of my Mrigashira series. For part 1, go here.

Rachel McAdams, Mrigashira Moon

I want to explore the nature of Mrigashira in relation to the obsessiveness it inspires in others and often how obsessive it can be. Mrigashira's mythology is tied to escape, changing form and running away. As I discussed extensively in part 1, truth-telling is part of a Mrigashira native's purpose. They are simply built that way. This is also a key part of the reason why others tend to be so magnetically drawn to them and are often driven to the point of obsession for them.

Mrigashira possesses a serpent yoni and serpents are known to represent transformation and renewal. The Kundalini is represented by a coiled serpent. Serpents have always been associated with temptation, dangerous allure, truth unveiling and change. People are drawn to Mrigashira natives because unconsciously they want to embody the freedom and honesty of these Martian individuals but having so many people pulling at your energy means you lose the sense of self and feel corrupted by their influence, to maintain their purity most Mrigashira natives live very reclusive lives. And this is for their own safety and well-being as well, the more these natives allow themselves to be projected on to by others, the more hatred they receive because of the collective shadow that is put up against them. Imagine being in the presence of a serpent all the time? Its bound to make others uneasy and restless, no matter how friendly, how inviting or welcoming they seem, you may be attracted to them but you do not want to be around them constantly, its too unnerving.

Similarly serpents belong to their burrows (or wherever they live idk lmao) not out in the open among people. Not only because its a threat to their very existence (people see a snake, they try to kill it) but because they are wired and conditioned to thrive in a very different sort of environment.

The allure of the serpent is very attractive but its constant in your face existence is not. Same goes for the veil lifting, truth revealing nature of these natives. Honesty is rare and so appreciated but imagine the truth staring you in the face all day everyday, you would go mad. There is a reason why ignorance is considered bliss, its because you need that veil over reality to keep yourself sane, if you saw things and perceived them as they are, you would drive yourself to lunacy. Most people are not prepared to receive and understand that kind of truth, its only after a certain stage in your spiritual journey that you are initiated into it.

There is a reason why the third eye chakra is the second highest chakra in the hierarchy (root chakra at the bottom from which you ascend upwards all the way up to your crown chakra). The third eye chakra is sight which allows us to see things as they are. The crown chakra which is the final chakra is the ability to understand things as they are. To understand we must first have clarity of vision and to have that we must ascend above all the other chakras.

Mrigashira natives project the truth and because of this, they are torn apart by others often. These natives represent the shadow of the gazer. Serpents beckoning for change, asking you to shed your shadow, and your inhibitions and renew yourself. This can be very painful and scary, as shadow work is always very difficult to do but instead of understanding that what we hate in others is a reflection of our shadow, most people just hate the Messenger themselves.

Petra Kelly, Mrigashira Moon, Vishaka Ketu (the man photographed next to her is her husband)

She was a founding member of the German Green Party and was a prominent activist in the 1980s who united ecological concerns with disarmament, social justice, and human rights. She was one of the OG ecofeminists imo

On 19 October 1992, the decomposed bodies of Kelly and her partner, ex-general and Green politician Gert Bastian (born 1923), were discovered in the bedroom of her house in Bonn by police officials after they received a call from both Bastian's wife and Kelly's grandmother who reported that they had not heard from either Bastian or Kelly for a few weeks. The police determined that Kelly was shot dead while sleeping by Bastian, who then killed himself. She was 44, he was 69. The last time anyone heard from the couple was on 30 September 1992 when Kelly sent a parcel to her grandmother.

Obviously, no one knows what transpired between the two or what might have led to this tragic end but being killed by your partner is unfortunately a pattern in the lives of many Mrigashira natives.

Obviously, not every Mrigashira will experience this so please do not worry or hyperventilate!!!!

One's spouse is a reflection of our subconscious, we are driven to the point of madness and murder when they project the truth of our subconscious back to us. We see the darkness, we see the ugliness and we feel violated. Obviously this is just one explanation and there could be numerous others.

The iconic ecofeminist artist Ana Mendieta was Vishaka Sun, Mrigashira Moon

Ana Mendieta died on September 8, 1985, in New York City, after falling from her 34th-floor apartment in Greenwich Village at 300 Mercer Street. She lived there with her husband of eight months, minimalist sculptor Carl Andre. The circumstances surrounding her death have been the subject of controversy. She fell 33 stories onto the roof of a deli. Just before her death, neighbours heard the couple arguing violently. The neighbours heard Mendieta scream out "no" right before her death, and Andre had scratches all over his face. There were no eyewitnesses to the events that led up to Mendieta's death. A recording of Andre's 911 call showed him saying: "My wife is an artist, and I'm an artist, and we had a quarrel about the fact that I was more, eh, exposed to the public than she was. And she went to the bedroom, and I went after her, and she went out the window." During three years of legal proceedings, Andre's lawyer described Mendieta's death as a possible accident or a suicide. After a nonjury trial, Andre was acquitted of second-degree murder in February 1988.

There are many parallels between Petra & Ana's lives. From the fact that both of them were Mrigashira Moon to the fact that both their husbands worked in the same field as them and that both of them were ecofeminists.

From what we know about the circumstances surrounding Ana's death, it's pretty clear that Carl did it and even reading about what he said on his 911 call is so??? like that sounds like some classic gaslighting and I'm inclined to believe it was probably over his jealousy of how she was a better artist than him. Petra's story we may never know but its not a stretch to think that something similar may have happened between her and that oldie.

Lana Turner, Mrigashira Rising

In 1957, while Turner was filming a movie, she had begun receiving phone calls and flowers on the set from mobster Johnny Stompanato (pictured with her above).

He pursued Turner aggressively, sending her various gifts. Turner was "thoroughly intrigued" and began casually dating him. After a friend informed her of who Stompanato actually was, she confronted him and tried to break off the affair. Stompanato was not easily deterred, and over the course of the following year, they carried on a relationship filled with violent arguments, physical abuse and repeated reconciliations. Turner would also claim that on one occasion he drugged her and took nude photographs of her while unconscious, potentially to use as blackmail.

I don't know if I have posted about it before but being violated or having your sexual intimacy exposed?? is also a Mrigashira theme. Ex: Jennifer Lawrence, Mrig Moon whose private pictures leaked in 2014, Pamela Anderson, Mrig Rising whose sex tape leaked in the 90s.

In 1957, Stompanato visited Turner on set in London and when she asked him to leave, he threatened her with a gun.

On the evening of March 26, 1958, Turner attended the Oscars. Stompanato, angered that he did not attend with her, awaited her return home that evening, whereupon he physically assaulted her. Around 8:00 p.m. on Friday, April 4, Stompanato arrived at Turner's rented home at 730 North Bedford Drive in Beverly Hills. The two began arguing heatedly in the bedroom, during which Stompanato threatened to kill Turner, her daughter Cheryl and her mother. Fearing that her mother's life was in danger, Cheryl – who had been watching television in an adjacent room – grabbed a kitchen knife and ran to Turner's defence. Stompanato died from stab wounds to his stomach.

This whole episode is very Mrigashira coded but thankfully Lana Turner survived and her abuser died.

Maurizio Gucci- Mrigashira Moon, Punarvasu Rising

If you've watched House of Gucci, you already know how this unfolds.

On 27 March 1995, Gucci was shot by a hired hitman on the steps outside his office as he arrived at work. His former wife Patrizia Reggiani was convicted in 1998 of arranging the killing. According to prosecutors, Reggiani's motives were a mixture of jealousy, money, and resentment towards her former husband. She served 18 years in prison and was released in October 2016.

I do believe all these people were murdered/attacked because of the resentment and envy their partners felt towards them even though due to the tragic circumstances there is very little proof of it.

Pamela Anderson, Mrigashira Rising

The Baywatch star married drummer Tommy Lee in 1995, after knowing him for just four days. Their stormy marriage lasted just 3 years, and in that time the Mötley Crüe member served 4 months in jail for domestic abuse against Anderson. It’s reported that during this incident Lee kicked Pamela while she was holding their son Dylan. But even though Anderson had helped to convict Lee, she was waiting for him when he came out and the pair briefly reconciled. Now, though, they’ve gone their separate ways.

A spiritual reason behind why people abuse others is like I said before on this post, they see their shadow reflected in you. The most powerful life saving thing you can do for yourself in these instances when a relationship (does not have to be romantic) takes a sour and dangerous turn is to LEAVE immediately. The longer you stay, the more you forgive/ignore them and overlook their tendencies, the darker the shadow grows because you are letting yourself submit to it. You have to understand that certain things cannot be talked through or come to an understanding about, like how a snake sizes you up before swallowing you whole, the initial triggers are proof of what their darkness is pulling them towards. When you dont recognise that as a sign and take your leave, they are even more agonised and disturbed because now they see all their ugliness reflected in you, how cruel and uncaring they are, everytime they look at you, they see you project their worst traits back to them. Have you noticed how men are always 100x more cruel to the woman who is extremely kind to him and puts up with him? He is not moved by her kindness to treat her better, he treats her worse because she reminds him of how much of a piece of shit he is, he sees his own failures as a human being reflected in her. A woman who does not put up with shit and leaves and cuts them off is also severing these spiritual ties which in a sense "liberates" the man from his shadow. This is why its so important to know your worth. You risk your own life by not knowing it. This is also the reason why men keep chasing the women who dont put up with shit, because theyre not projecting their shadow back to them.

Brooke Shields, Mrigashira Moon & Venus

Brooke was obsessed over by absolutely everyone in her youth. They sexualized a goddamn child and made money from it. Here's a very uncomfortable clip of Susan Sarandon talking about 11yr old Brooke.

I don't want to elaborate too much because it makes me uncomfortable af but read about Brooke's life and you'll see how Mrigashira's many themes unfolded in her life (toxic mom included)

Dante Alighieri, Mrigashira stellium (Sun, Mercury & Rising)

Now that we've discussed how obsession with Mrigashira women ends in tragedy, lets see how Mrigashira natives themselves can be very obsessive in love.

Dante first met Beatrice, who he has described as the love of his life when they were children. She died at 24yrs old and Dante & her were never married nor did they ever even have a conversation but Dante was passionately, madly obsessed with her. He wrote about her A LOT. (imagine writing a shit ton of poetry and prose about a woman you've never even talked to?? haha 👁️👄👁️)

They met twice in their life, he married another woman yet he wrote about Beatrice continuously and exalted her to the high heavens

Dante and Beatrice never even kissed. For Dante, though, it didn’t matter that his love for Beatrice remained unconsummated. Why? Because merely the act of loving her was enough. Loving someone was its own justification.

How could this be? It connects to how Dante’s understanding of his love for Beatrice evolved. By the end of Vita nuova, Dante has come to understand that his youthful love was superficial. Instead, he realizes that his love for her is his most direct experience of the divine nature of love. Beatrice, after all, was “sent from Heaven,” a gift from god. By loving her — even if it’s from afar — Dante is himself purified, brought to a new spiritual existence, and brought closer to god. This is one reason why the work is titled Vita nuova: Dante’s love of Beatrice grants him a new life.

Franz Kafka- Mrigashira Stellium (Moon, Mercury and Venus)

Kafka's Letters to Milena are very popular but what's even crazier is their relationship.

Milena was a translator. In 1919 she discovered a short story (The Stoker) by Prague writer Franz Kafka, and wrote to him to ask for permission to translate it from German to Czech. The letter launched an intense and increasingly passionate correspondence. Milena and Kafka met twice: they spent four days in Vienna together and later a day in Gmünd. Eventually, Kafka broke off the relationship, partly because Milena as unable to leave her husband, and their almost daily communication ceased abruptly in November 1920. They meant so much to each other, however, that they did exchange a few more letters in 1922 and 1923 (and Kafka turned over to Milena his diaries at the end of his life). Kafka died in 1924.

Mrigashira men 🤝passionate love affair with a women they've met twice

“You are the knife I turn inside myself; that is love. That, my dear, is love.” ― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

“Dear Milena, I wish the world were ending tomorrow. Then I could take the next train, arrive at your doorstep in Vienna, and say: “Come with me, Milena. We are going to love each other without scruples or fear or restraint. Because the world is ending tomorrow.” Perhaps we don’t love unreasonably because we think we have time or have to reckon with time. But what if we don't have time? Or what if time, as we know it, is irrelevant? Ah, if only the world were ending tomorrow. We could help each other very much.” ― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

(brb im ugly cryinggg 😭😩😭kafka was such a loverboy)

C.S Lewis, Mrigashira Moon

Joy was a feisty Jewish divorced single mother from the Bronx. Lewis, 17 years her senior, was a lifelong confirmed bachelor (he wrote The Chronicles of Narnia) . They exchanged vows at her hospital bedside after a devastating diagnosis of metastasized breast cancer. Joy spent her final days dying in the arms of her most unlikely husband.

Joy had bone cancer and wasn’t expected to live; miraculously, they had three years together before she finally succumbed to cancer at age 45.

The loss devastated C.S. Lewis (as one can tell by reading A Grief Observed, one of his most heart-wrenching, personal books). Perhaps the biggest lesson one can take away from the love between C.S. Lewis and Joy Davidman was their willingness to love each other, however risky, however unsafe it may be. Lewis expressed grief, shock, and dismay over his wife’s death, but he never expressed regret over marrying her, never wished that he had taken the “safe” way.

Lewis summed this up beautifully in his poem, As the Ruin Falls:

"All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.

I never had a selfless thought since I was born.

I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:

I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.

Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,

I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:

I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--

But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.

Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.

I see the chasm.

And everything you are was making

My heart into a bridge by which I might get back

From exile, and grow man.

And now the bridge is breaking.

For this I bless you as the ruin falls.

The pains You give me are more precious than all other gains."

They were together for 3 years during which she was very sick and bedridden, yet his love for her is soo profound and he wrote extensively about how much her death devastated him :((

Jim Carrey, Mrigashira Moon starred in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (directed by Michel Gondry, Punarvasu Rising) and this movie is an ode to the eternal nature of love. Two individuals whose memories are altered repeatedly to rid them of one another keep meeting each other again and again. Its such a beautiful story of how undying love is.

I think Punarvasu & Mrigashira natives are connected to each other in some way.

In this interview, Stephen Colbert (Mrigashira Moon) asks Keanu Reeves (Punarvasu Moon) "What happens when we die?" to which Keanu responds "I know that the people who love us, will miss us". Its a very earnest answer more so considering how both Stephen and Keanu have lost so many people in their lives. Keanu's ex gf died in a car accident a year after they had a stillborn daughter. Colbert lost his father and 2 brothers to a plane crash when he was 10.

In Sia's (Mrigashira Moon) MV for Elastic Heart, Maddie Ziegler (Punarvasu Moon) and Shia LaBeouf (Mrigashira Sun) are depicted as Sia's two selves who are warring with each other inside a cage, in the end Maddie makes it out of the cage while Shia is stuck inside. Sia said she wrote this song about a failing relationship so the MV can be understood as a symbolic representation of two sides of Sia battling whether to leave or stay in this relationship. Its particularly poignant to me that the person who makes it out alive is a Punarvasu native.

Its also quite well known how creepily obsessed Sia has been with Maddie over the years.

Hugh Dancy (Mrigashira Sun) played Will on Hannibal where the titular character was played by Mads Mikkelsen (Vishaka Moon)

The two share an intense toxic violent emotional relationship. He tries to kill him but he also saves him.

I think Mars-Jupiter relationships are often this way, intense and ultimately doomed because the two can never stay together.

Eminem, Saturn in Mrigashira atmakaraka (Chitra Sun, Dhanishta Moon) allegedly had a relationship with Mariah Carey (Punarvasu Moon) in the 2000s and repeatedly referenced her in his songs whilst she stayed quiet about him and often denied their relationship.

In 2002 Eminem rapped in his song Superman "What you trying be? My new wife? / What, you Mariah? Fly through twice.” On When the Music Stop, he said, “What the f–k you take me for, a joke? You smoking crack? ‘Fore I do that, I’d beg Mariah to take me back.”

In the same year, Mariah released a song called Clown in which she sang, “You should’ve never intimated we were lovers when you know very well we never even touched each other.”

She explained, “I talked to him, I spoke to him a few times, whatever,” she said at the time. “But in terms of me having an intimate relationship? With men, I can name them all on one hand, and he’s not one of them. I hung out with him, I spoke to him on the phone. I think I was probably with him a total of four times. And I don’t consider that dating somebody.”

Eminem went on talking about her obsessively for yeaaarsss (that's the Mrigashira in him/all his Mars energy in general, Martians are a whole new brand of obsessed)

In 2009, Eminem rapped in Bagpipes from Baghdad

“Mariah, whatever happened to us? Why did we have to break up?Nick Cannon, you pr–k, I wish you luck with the f–kin’ whore.”

Mind you that he himself admitted that they only dated for 6 months in 2002, 7 WHOLE YEARS LATER he is still singing about her, he's clearly still obsessed with her but he's also an asshole for speaking about her in such disparaging terms.

And that's when Mariah Carey dropped her iconic song Obsessed

in 2019, 17 years later, Eminem was still rapping about her lol

"I know me and Mariah didn’t end on a high note / But that other dude’s whipped — that p—y got him neutered, tried to tell him this chick’s a nut job before he got his jewels clipped / Almost got my caboose kicked / Fool, quit / You not gonna do s–t / I let her chop my balls off too before I lose to you, Nick.”

Sorry for spilling all the tea but I just think its soooo funny. Its no Dante & Beatrice but oh man lol

Through this example we see a negative toxic manifestation of Mrigashira's obsession and devotion to a partner.

Prince William, Mrigashira Sun and Princess Catherine, Punarvasu Moon are another Mrig-Punarvasu/Jupiter pairing I can think of

As we have seen from Eminem, Mrigashira men can often be violent and abusive

Johnny Depp-Mrigashira Sun, Kanye West- Mrigashira Sun, Salman Rushdie Mrigashira Sun & Moon, Shia LaBeouf- Mrigashira Sun have all been accused of abuse by their partners.

Obsession isn't a good thing and very few Mrigashira men are like Dante in today's world.

I hope this was interesting & informative.xx

#astrology observations #astrology notes #sidereal astrology #nakshatras #astrology #vedic astro notes #astro notes #vedic astrology #astro observations #astroblr #mrigashira #mars #jupiter

265 notes · View notes

fabulouslyflamboyant5 · 5 months

Text

The Unrighteous Knight Part 4

pairing: azriel x second archeron sister!reader

summary: when your past makes its way to your present, you have no choice but to face what you desperately tried to bury.

warning: canon typical violence, mentions of s*xual as*ult, themes of depression and su*cidal thought

word count: 1.5k

a/n: if you couldn't already tell, life hasn't been the greatest lately. writing has always been therapeutic, a comfort of sorts. so this fic has unintentionally progressed into something much darker than I intended for it to.

part one part two part three part four part five

The task of understanding oneself is easier said than done.

It is, in theory, a time for serendipity and unwavering resolve. Questioning is encouraged for it is sure to call forth inner peace.

In practice, you have experienced only chaos. Self-destruction of the highest level; the complete and utter repentance of self-fulfillment and appreciation.

You are destined to be happy, in the same ways your sisters were destined to be great.

And yet, you are the epitome of misery, lacking in accomplishments and cauldron blessed feats.

Rejecting opportunities is something favored by the weak, so you aren't quite sure why you seem to be doing just that.

Standing in front of the marble lined mirror, its obsidian edges sharp and artisan crafted, you cannot help but resent everything bestowed upon you.

Immortality, oftentimes revered by mortals, is no more than monotony dragged out over eternity.

Why is it you fight, would it be so difficult to give up?

Perhaps Azriel was only acting on your own subconscious ambitions that fateful night. Had he struck the littlest bit closer, just enough to pierce the fragility of your lungs, you could be resting contently in whatever fire ridden land you are destined for.

You mistake your tears for rain, not realizing the moisture cascading down your face is a product of yourself until you focus in on the image presented within the mirror. Occurrences such as these are rare. You devour sorrow with ease, but the physical act of crying is a poison you are yet to find an antidote for.

It's unfamiliar.

Almost as much as the thought, or impending reality, of being face to face with Azriel.

For the first time since the incident, you will be training with him again. Though Nesta did not outright mention he would be present, it would be foolish to assume her failed ministrations were not a warning.

So now, as you stand before your own reflection, crying, and cursing the universe for your creation, you wonder.

What could I be, if I were to leave this all behind?

Who may I have become, had I never been corrupted?

You imagine, for the first time in years, a better future for yourself.

And god damn, if it isn't a wonderous thing.

You lower your hands, resting them on your womb, and let your mind go places it had nearly forgotten. The montage is blurry, like a notebook immersed in history. But it is still there.

You’re still there.

Visions of clandestine ballrooms, all too tall bed chambers, and joyous smiles haunt your mind.

It’s supposed to be beautiful, it was beautiful.

But you know what comes next.

Chandeliers fall and their crystals scatter, a shack is built and the desperation for money has your body ravaged.

You clutch your stomach, never as flat as your sister’s, and let your body give into the tragedy you are reliving.

The sound that you release is not one you are familiar with.

It's primitive, wretched, horridly grievous.

Richoteing off of your bedroom walls, you claw at the pristine floor until your fingers are stained red, maimed into something else entirely.

As your voice rises in octaves, the crystals within your room begin to tremble. You sense their clattering, feel the vibrations of their destruction as they crack into pieces too small to be made anew.

You pay no mind to any of it. Not even when the grandiose chandelier bursts, leaving behind only linings of darkened copper.

You raise your head so it is no longer touching the floor and admire the destruction you have caused. Crystal fragments fall and swirl across the room. Their edges, sharp and jagged, wedge themselves into your exposed skin all while your back is reserved for the larger pieces of the bunch, supplied by none other than the chandelier that once hung proudly.

You think you may be bleeding, if the crimson droplets trickling across your body mean anything, that is. And yet, you fail to register the pain of your flesh being split apart.

A disease of the mind is what truly plagues you. Haunting you, playing out within your heart as if its curtains never even closed. And it’s ironic, because you lived it. Witnessed its rise and fall. Bathed yourself in its glory and scrubbed yourself of its grime. The curtains did close, for you were the one pulling them shut: The sole actress in the tragedy that became your life, remembered by no one, and loved by only the forgotten.

Trembling, you reach for your lower abdomen and caress it with your hands, tracing the scarred edges of the brand burnt into you. Moving up, down, and all across, your fingers, even through leather garments, are still able to make out the shape of the word lining your lower stomach.

R…U...I…N…E…D

You were barely an adult when the hot iron made contact with your malnourished flesh. All you remember is the searing pain and sound of coins being retrieved. Your “innocence”, as the leader liked to call it, had been sold not even an hour before you received the label. Double, perhaps triple your age, the man who placed the highest bid on you is the one you wish the most misery.

Had it not been for your own desperation, then perhaps you would still be intact. But you were impoverished, and your sisters grew desperate. No one, you are certain, knows the lengths you went to in order to bring home a salary. Even if it was only a portion of the bid, it was enough for a week’s worth of food, a testament to the nothingness you are valued at.

You have loved and you have lost, yet you have never truly grieved. How could you? A brothel is no place to rejoice, 18 is not old enough to process the crime you fell victim to.

Practically a child when you were sold off, a situation as disastrous as the one you lived though was not something you were capable of recognizing. Had you done so, you’d have crumbled. So you didn’t think of it, you buried it deep within the soil, under an oak sapling and left behind what could have been. In many ways, it did kill you. But you never quite broke. Fractured, perhaps, but you were still whole. Your edges were jagged and all light had gone out, but you still went on.

Life, whether you wanted it to or not, still went on.

You're sisters had one another, and you had pieces of yourself. How could you have revealed such a thing to them? Life was surely difficult enough.

You’d been raised to keep your struggles a secret, your mother conditioned it. To open up, to share such a tragedy with anyone, would be a betrayal to the one you’d been born loving, even if that feeling was never quite reciprocated.

~~~

For hours, you lay on the hard floor. Visions of wealth, poverty, and stolen mortality possess your mind.

Your tears have been never ending and your sobs have transformed into husky whispers of shame.

All’s cruel in love and grief, for the past will always bleed into the present. Devastation wraps her hands around your neck and you urge her to press harder, steal your breath and life with it.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, is worth what you’ve endured.

It’s quiet, you're shaky breathing being the only sound within the room.

You hear the footsteps approaching and the door handle rattling, but pay no mind to it.

The fading sunlight from up above bleeds through the thin curtain, panting the man within the doorframe an angelic shade of gold.

He looks like he could be your savior. Had he put his knife through your lungs, then perhaps he would have been.

But alas, shadows dash forward and amber eyes assess the shattered crystals spread across the floor.

You see his mouth moving, hear the syllables he is spewing, but fail to interpret any of it.

His steps grow closer and panic overtakes you.

He wouldn’t. Surely, he wouldn't…

Scarred hands meet your shoulder and a scream tears through your already worn out throat. You are saying things, yelling things, but you don’t know what exactly.

You claw at his arms, praying they remove themselves from your entity.

Slowly and unprecedented, he lets his hands fall to his kneeled form. In nothing louder than whispers, he calls to you. To send you further, or bring you back, you don’t quite know.

But his eyes, those damn eyes. The same ones you’d never quite been able to walk away from, have you running right back.

taglist: @tele86 @aetherl0l @sidthedollface2 @marvelouslovely-barnes @impossibelle @chessebookgirl

#angst #acotar #azriel x reader #fanfic #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #rhysand #feyre #nesta #elain #cassian #feyre archeron #fluff #fanfiction #books #acotar x reader #azriel angst #sad

148 notes · View notes

kurogane2512 · 11 months

Text

Kinktober 2023 day 4

Hypnotizing Ecstasy

Threesome, food play with....

Fem! reader (Chief). Also contains blindfolding and overstimulation.

W.C: 8k+ (yes, this is why it took so long and I planned to have it as the last part of Kinktober but here it is)~

Some context for the story and how I got the idea for it, pls read before proceeding:

This takes place at the banquet in the Cabernet event with Chief attending it with Chameleon as companion. Since the event showed Sinners other than Hecate and Hella being used (finally) I thought of scenarios with other Sinners in it and as the event progressed, I felt Chameleon could be really useful. This is like a rewriting of the event with some changes and the smut.

Also note this Chameleon is 100% compliance so she's quite affectionate and rather obedient (if you know her performance in serving team at 100% then you know what I mean), but don't worry she still has her signature traits. Okay, that's the main points to keep in mind. Enjoy~

The sun blazed over your head as you set foot in the luxurious banquet. Held at Ogyvia Villa, it was an insatiable fiesta for the rich and powerful to indulge in their most trivial desires. On delicacies and wealth, they fattened themselves, unconcerned with the darkness knowingly ignored. You had seen it all and were bitter knowing that society's pigs lived untroubled.

Half of DisCity burned beyond thrill and guarded walls. In a scene like this, it was all too convenient to forget. Your vision was filled with people of the highest magnificence, but in the midst of it all, they weren't dressed as magnificently as their status conveyed.

After all, this was a place to let loose. The elite of DisCity congregated to live away the night free and easy, but your purpose here was different. A red-haired princess had summoned you, and you would endure a demon- or two- to fetch her lost treasures.

"Quite a passionate gathering you have brought me to, Chief~"

Your companion, Chameleon, the best psychologist in DisCity and a self-proclaimed psychopath commented from behind. You turned around to face your companion and were immediately caught by surprise.

"Hm, what's wrong? Have I rendered you speechless from my appearance, Chief?~"

Chameleon spoke with a smirk, watching how your gaze trailed all over her body. There she stood wearing a swimsuit, the appropriate attire for the gathering. But you weren't sure if it was an appropriate attire for your heart. Her nipples were covered with thin layers of non-padded black fabric and the white straps supporting them extended from hoops and crossed at her neck.

You admired her carelessness when taking risks, they looked as though they were about to snap and her breasts break free. The lower had thin, black straps leading up from her underwear, tied at her sides and the black fabric was again small and revealing. It was accented with diagonal strips of white and left nothing to your imagination, instead handing plenty for your eyes to devour.

In an intentionally failed attempt to cover, she wrapped a transparent sarong cloth around her waist that draped till her right knee. Her dark blonde hair shone against the sunlight and lightly waved with the breeze along with her signature red lipstick completing her already perfect look.

"Chief? My dear Chief?~" Chameleon continuously called out until you finally snapped out of your trance and cleared your throat before averting your gaze, causing her to chuckle.

"I didn't even use my powers and you were already hypnotised. Your expression is so easy to read, I don't even need to ask how I look~"

"A-Ahem, sorry. I have just never seen you this way, I was a bit shocked...."

"Hehe~ Shocked isn't the correct term. You know that too, don't you, my dear Chief?~"

You blushed more and turned around without replying. She chuckled then walked up to you and suddenly wrapped her arms around your torso, her fingers grazing over your exposed belly.

"You don't look bad yourself, Chief~" her hushed voiced brushed past you ear, sending shivers down your skin.

"In fact, I'd say I was the one shocked seeing you wear something so revealing in public."

"....We were instructed to fit in perfectly and this is the most suitable swimsuit the bureau could get."

Chameleon smiled to herself and pecked your cheek before walking to your side and holding your hand.

"Shall we go, Chief? I believe we have a client to attend to~"

You nodded with a smile and walked into the main area, only to be surrounded by a plethora of high-headed people dancing and partying to their heart's content. You thought it would be a formal gathering of elegance but there was nothing elegant about your surroundings, except perhaps the woman beside you who managed to look that way even in something rather skimpy.

You were bombarded by a summery cacophony of colorful swimsuits, pool toys, splashing pool water and the sweet scent of watermelon and mango. You feel embarrassed wearing the revealing swimsuit hence pull your buttonless shirt together to cover as much as possible while heading forward.

"Now then, about our client, do you happen to know her, Chameleon?"

"Hmm...as much as I'm uninterested in the culinary world, I do know the 'princess' of the Francs indeed. If you live in Eastside long enough then you are bound to know of these families one way or the other."

"I understand...."

"So, your purpose for bringing me here was to use me, my dear Chief?~"

"That...don't put it that way."

Chameleon chuckled, "I will know your true intention without you saying a word, only if you allow me to~"

"Chameleon....please, I just—"

"Shh~" Chameleon's index finger brushed your lips, effectiviely shushing you as she leaned closer to your face, "Don't fret so much, Chief. I will help as you want, as long as you compensate me right~"

"Of course, I will."

Chameleon smiled then stepped back and took a look around the venue when a waiter approached you both to welcome you and hand you a manual about the party, you went through the manual and had a basic understanding of the venue but were still clueless of your client's whereabouts and how to complete the mission.

"What's the plan, Chief? Do we have to mingle around and gather information on our client or would you prefer to meet our client rightaway?"

"Meet our client rightaway? What do you mean?"

Chameleon gently held your chin and moved your face to the right and your eyes catch the figure of a redhead approaching from not far away. The crowd quieted down for a moment, then erupted like wine being poured into a sizzling steak pan. The people surged forward and surrounded the woman, trying to chat with her from all sides.

"Hm~ Asking us to fit in perfectly when she stands out herself, hehe~" Chameleon chuckled in a low voice while your eyes were fixated on the woman in front who was practically a celebrity at this point, Cabernet Franc.

"Why....why would she want the MBCC to retrieve her treasures when she could have this place turned upside down by ordering these people for it. I'm sure there are countless people in line hoping to gain favors with her."

"Well, as someone with mastery on human behavior and emotions, I can present you 2 hypothesis for that. First one is stated in the question itself; she may not want to attract unnecessary attention into her private matters and why would she willingly give someone a chance over her?"

"....And the second?"

"The second....these 'treasures' that we have to find may not be any normal treasures. It derives from the first hypothesis, they may be something valuable and personal that she'd rather hire an inconspicuous agency like ours."

"I see....that makes sense."

Suddenly, Cabernet looked at you from the distance as if she overheard your conversation. She then smiled and gave a faint, barely noticeable nod before someone approached her and started talking. The crowd was dazzled by her presence and missed no chance to get her attention, some performed outlandish actions like jumping in the pool from great heights and making a big splash.

"This is ridiculous, we can't even talk to her this way...." you pondered when suddenly some people approached you and attempted to shove you into the pool under the guise of having fun. You tried your best to refute and even looked at Chameleon hoping for some help but she simply watched in amusement, clearly enjoying you become so flustered.

"The hell- aah!" your wrist was pulled and you fell into the depths of the pool. You were drained of air instantly as ice-cold water overwhelmed your senses, you wanted to swim to the surface but couldn't move your limbs at all as if someone had restrained them. You heard a strange voice in your ear but were in no mood to care about what it, the force under your feet seemed to be conscious as it dragged you down.

"Don't worry, Chief, you will be fine." it was Chameleon's voice in your head, you were sure of it. But it wasn't her who spoke earlier, clearly something else was happening too. Before you knew it, your lips were gently parted and something cold and sweet flowed from the tip of your tongue down your throat, calming your restless emotions.

You forcefully opened your eyes and found yourself resting on someone's lap. Crimson, faintly grape-scented hair brushed against the tip of your nose as you gaze up and find a pair of silvery, violet-tinted eyes gazing at you with concern.

"Are you alright? Do you feel a bit better?" the woman asked with a faint smile and you quickly sat up to realize it was her, the center of attention just moments ago.

"Ms Cabernet...."

"Mhm, you had a heat stroke and fainted. But don't worry, you are fine now."

You squinted your eyes when suddenly a pair of arms was wrapped around your neck followed by Chameleon embracing you tightly.

"Y/n! Y/n! Are you okay?!~" She buried her face in your neck and was shouting desperately. She was acting, you knew she was acting. But damn, she was good at it.

"Y-Yes, don't worry, Chameleon...." you patted her back and she released the hug then helped you stand up while the crowd watched you three with envious looks, whispering various things amongst themselves. You noticed Cabernet's dress was slightly soaked and with how you were lying on her lap, you concluded she helped in saving you.

"Chameleon, what happened earlier?" you communicated with Chameleon through your shackles by invoking her power while maintaing a relaxed look on your face.

"She helped drag you out of the pool and laid you on her lap. How lucky you are, Chief~"

"Don't joke, Chameleon. You know there's something in the pool, right?"

"Mhm, and I also have a lead on what might happen here. But give me more time, I can get some information out of a few people here if you let me use my powers."

"Fine...but keep it down and only one at a time, and don't go too far from me."

"Hehe, as you wish, my Chief~"

You then turned your attention towards Cabernet who was silently gazing at you both the whole time, "Thank you for saving me, Ms Cabernet."

"You are welcome. The lady beside you also helped a lot, she was quite worried for her Chief. You two seem quite close as well~"

You froze for a moment but realized this wasn't so surprising; of course, if she could have the MBCC work for her then naturally she'd know who you are.

"R-Right....Then, Ms Cabernet, since you already know us then can we—"

Before you could finish, Cabernet pulled you to make you sit beside her, her breasts pressing against your forearm.

"Accompany me for the rest of the party. With you by my side, I can avoid unnecessary interactions and focus on enjoying the party~"

You swallow thickly then she opened the manual and pointed to the dinner banquet, you quickly realize what she means and nod at her and respond loudly in a manner similar to the other guests.

"Y-Yes! I'd be honored! You saved me, I'll stay by your side for sure!"

"Hehe, good girl~" Cabernet chuckled softly then lowered her head and moved closed enough for you to smell the faint fragrance of tropical fruit on her body, "Happy working with you, MBCC Chief and her Sinner~"

You almost blush feeling her so close to you but your thoughts were interrupted, "Enjoying yourself there, Chief?~"

It was Chameleon speaking in your head. You turned to the side and noticed her sit beside you as well, your other arm getting buried between her breasts as she leaned close to you. You realized you were squeezed between two beautiful and reputed women from Eastside, one of whom was the star of this party. Naturally, you attracted quite a number of envious glares from the people around, causing everyone to scatter away and leave you in peace.

"Then, Ms Cabernet, can you tell us what exactly are these treasures you have lost?"

"Umm....food ingredients."

"Food ingredients? What kind of ingredients?"

"Mm...my ingredients may not be particularly noteworthy to other people. If I tell them, they might be surprised by my choise. But to me, they are treasures."

Cabernet looked down at the ground, seemingly a bit sad.

"You have no reason to feel that way, Ms Cabernet. You may feel the need to bury your true thoughts in your heart but there are people who understand you. A top gourmet can also enjoy so-called common food and regard it as a treasure. You are not wrong in thinking that way at all."

Chameleon spoke to her in a formal yet comfortable tone, her professionalism as a psychologist was evident as she understood Cabernet's emotional state too well.

"And if you feel pent-up stress about it then there are a number of ways to relieve it~" Chameleon gave a rather sly smile and you immediately understood her implications.

"A-Ahem, no need for that. We will support Ms Cabernet in using common ingredients but...your methods won't be necessary, Chameleon."

Chameleon smirked, "You break my heart, Chief. You know I just want to help~"

You laughed nervously making Cabernet let out a chuckle as well, "Thank you.... I must say, the MBCC is quite an interesting bunch~"

You became slightly tense at the situation, this client was strange and her intention to draw away attention using you wasn't working at all.

"The dinner banquet is the most important part of this party, there may be information about the treasures there. Before that, we should do our best to collect as much information as possible."

You instructed to both of them when suddenly a man appeared behind Chameleon, "If it isn't Ms Chameleon! I haven't seen you in so long!"

Chameleon recognized the voice immediately and stood up to turn to greet the man with a gentle smile and exchange pleasantries.

"He's an old patient, I remember he's in the food and beverage industry. I can indulge him for a while and get a few things out." you heard Chameleon speak in your head and agreed.

"Be careful, call me immediately if something happens. He looks a bit....wild."

"Hehe~ Never thought I'd have someone worry for me.... But don't worry, my Chief, I can protect myself~"

Chameleon winked at you as you watched her walk away then sighed and turned to the front again and were surprised seeing Cabernet so close to you, looking at you with curiosity.

"M-Ms Cabernet? Is something the matter?"

"Mm, I was just wondering if there's some special connection between you two. You seem to understand each other without speaking a single word."

"Oh! Haha, something like that, I suppose?" you nervously scratch your temple and avert your gaze from her.

"My, how interesting. You just made this party a whole lot fun for me~"

You smiled at her but couldn't stop thinking about Chameleon, worrying how she was doing.

"Aww, Chief~ You are missing me already? Would you like to have a peek at this side?~" as if on cue, Chameleon spoke in your mind again and you could hear faint whimpers of a man soon after.

"C-Chameleon! Don't do that—!"

"Relax, Chief~ I'm not hurting him; rather, he's feeling quite ecstatic currently and is letting me in on all his thoughts. I'll be back soon~"

You sighed to yourself when suddenly Cabernet closed up on you as if checking you closely, "Are you sure you are alright? Is the heat unbearable?"

Her fruity scent filled your senses and your eyes were drawn to her dark crimson lips, "No, I'm fine, thank you. Sorry for making you worry."

Cabernet smiled then suddenly a muscular man walked up to you and handed 2 cups of ice cream, stating how delicious and refreshing it was. You were going to ask him to give you another cup for Chameleon but he dashed off into the crowd in an instant, winking at you before going. You were suspicious and had a hard time taking a bite and eventually decided to save it for Chameleon then noticed Cabernet wasn't eating either.

"Do you not want to eat it, Ms Cabernet?"

"Hm? Well....how is the taste, Chief?"

"A-Ah! I was thinking of saving this for Chameleon...."

"Save what for me now, Chief?~" Chameleon sneaked up behind you and spoke before eyeing the ice cream in your hand and giving a small smile.

"Chameleon, are you okay? Was everything fine?" you asked out of genuine concern which made Chameleon slightly surprised then she chuckled and suddenly straddled your lap sideways, making you blush profusely and surprising Cabernet as well.

"Would you like to know what I did, Chief?~" she brushed her finger across your lip before picking up a spoonful of the ice cream and bringing it to your mouth.

"C-Chameleon, not in front of her...." you said out of embarrassment and glanced at Cabernet who was looking at you both with an amused look.

"Aww, becoming shy in public now, Chief? You weren't like this whenever I did it in your office~" Oh, she was enjoying this so much. Cabernet's eyes perked up at her statement before smirking and shifting closer to you.

"Hm? You seem to have an interesting relationship with your Sinners, Chief of MBCC~"

"N-No! I'm sorry! This is just—!" you couldn't explain yourself in any way, and the 2 women soon broke out in laughter together. You were being toyed by both of them, and they were enjoying every minute of it.

"I have some information, Chief. But how about you eat this first, unless you want me to feed it to you differently?~" Chameleon's voice spoke in your head in the midst of the laughter and you nodded then took a bite from the ice cream in her hand.

"Not bad....it almost tastes like the sea with traces of lemon and sea salt."

"Not a bad description, Chief. Seems that even the ice cream here is made from exquisite ingredients." Cabernet said.

Just then, the jingling of bells was heard and everyone turned to see where it came from. A maid came out and informed the soup was ready and everyone came out of the pool to rush towards the restaurant, making quite a commotion around you.

"What did you find out, Chameleon?" you talked to Chameleon in her head.

"There is some kind of legendary mermaid meat being kept here, planned to be served as the main course to the princess beside you."

"Do you think that's the treasure she's looking for?"

"It's hard to say, I couldn't find out what kind of meat it really is. But I reckon I can if I get in touch with the head chef here."

"Okay then, let's head in with Cabernet."

"Shall we go? It's disrespectful to the chef to be late for the meal." Cabernet spoke almost immediately and held onto your arm, giving a sly glance to Chameleon who understood her intention too well and didn't hold back from holding your other arm now. You were practically dragged by the 2 women inside and soon sat on the table with Cabernet having the centremost seat.

Everyone began drinking the soup and waited for Cabernet's judgement, she took a whiff followed by a small sip and let out a gentle smile followed by a simple compliment that earned cheers and praises. You took a sip yourself when suddenly heard a familiar voice behind you, it was the head chef of this banquet. You glanced at Chameleon and she understood you, having the same thoughts as you.

"I know, you heard her voice in the pool earlier."

"What should we do? It's a bad idea to hypnotize her here. We should wait."

"I thank everyone for their kind words but it seems this guest isn't liking the soup? May I know your suggestions if you feel it isn't up to the mark?" the head chef who introduced her as McGrath spoke to you, making you nervous and you haphazardly proceeded to drink the soup but Cabernet stopped you.

"She had a bit too many grapes earlier, I told her she'll ruin her appetite for dinner. She's not trying to avoid it on purpose."

"Sorry..."

"No matter. Save more appetite when the main course is served, I hope you can give me an answer then. You too, Ms Cabernet." McGrath said.

"Mm, I'm sure you'll surprise me."

"Of course, Ms Cabernet! I worked so hard precisely for this moment. All I desire is your precious and invaluable approval! That's why the most exciting part of this party will be the dinner banquet. I prepared it specially for Ms Cabernet!" McGrath announced in an active and hyped tone to everyone, earning a buzz of excitement.

McGrath then went to announce about the ingredients used for this dinner and as Chameleon had found out, she indeed acquired some kind of legendary ingredients which caused Cabernet's smile to fade away. You stringed together her words and the happenings around you and things started making sense. But you couldn't act in any manner as her next announcement caused everyone to rush about the restaurant in a flurry.

"Limited seats on a first come first served basis? This is crazy....why invite so many people and disrespect them this way?"

"It's how the world of the rich operates, Chief." Chameleon said from beside you and Cabernet hummed in agreement, making you sigh. You waited for the commotion to calm down a bit and make space for you three, you were in no hurry as Cabernet would guarantee you seats. You eventually came up to the elevator after some time and the doors opened again, causing the remaining guests to barge in leaving space just enough for you three.

Well, they definitely considered it a reward to be able to share an elevator with Cabernet. You and Chameleon followed her closely behind then were practically torn away from her by the other guests in the cramped space. Chameleon was pressed up against the wall in one corner and you couldn't help but be squeezed in front of her, your face lying near her neck and you held onto her waist for support.

"S-Sorry, Chameleon. I'll try to move away a little." you spoke to her in your mind and attempted to move about but there was no space to even turn. Chameleon instead held your head and pulled you closer making your face lie on her soft breasts while her hands gently patted your head.

"Just relax, Chief. I'm here to assist you, after all~"

You blushed and eased into her a little, feeling hypnotised by her sweet scent and angelic voice. Cabernet looked at you from the corner of her eye and wished she was standing closer but the elevator soon reached its destination and the door was opened, finally giving you space to breathe. You come out together with Cabernet and look around the floor, finding it rather eery and uncomfortable.

The announcement system came on again and McGrath announced that one must meet certain standards to be eligible for which everyone has to pass different challenges. You should be honorable enough to be worthy of dining with Cabernet, but how do you define honorable? You didn't have a good feeling about this, nor did the crowd as an uproar was erupted and some started shouting angrily.

"Ms Cabernet, this is turning dangerous. If this risks my Sinner's safety then I'm afraid I'll have to abort the mission."

Chameleon almost became wide-eyed at your declaration before smiling and gently holding your hand, "Chief, look at me."

You gritted your teeth and turned to face her then she softly cupped your face, "Nothing will happen to me. I trust you with my life and you should trust me with completing this mission together."

You didn't know when Chameleon became this way, was it your late-night chats with her or sharing similar hobbies that slowly made her so trusting of you. This self-proclaimed psychopath was hard to change, even impossible, but here she was trusting you and wanting you to trust her. You brought her to this mission not only because she could be useful, but also because you wanted to take her to a fun filled gathering and spend some time outside the prison.

"....Fine, then stay close to me. Don't do anything without my permission."

"Hehe~ As you say, Chief~"

You sighed then turned to Cabernet to get some information about McGrath and her nature. Cabernet recalled that she had failed to get her approval some time ago then suddenly invited her to this banquet a month ago, the timing matched with her losing her ingredients.

"So, you suspect the ingredients to be with her?"

"Yes, I pretty much guessed she had my treasures. I was worried that something might happen to them so I pulled some strings to get a seasoned professional to help me....which is you, dear Chief. But I didn't expect things to come to this, she has become crazy and even harming innocent people. I know I have caused you trouble...."

You gazed into her eyes deeply and sensed she wasn't being fully honest, but you had other more concerning matters to take care of hence listened to her for now.

"No point in pondering over it, we did accept the mission so we'll see it till the end."

See it till the end as you said....you didn't expect the sacrifices you'd have to make along the way in this hellish game where people were eaten alive by some monster. You had reached the end where only you and Cabernet remained, yes only you two. The scene in front of you was horrifying, the chef was crazy and doing everything to please Cabernet solely.

"This is my surprise gift to you, Ms Cabernet! To give you the best dining experience, I will ensure that you are neither lonely nor pestered! You will approve of me, right?!" McGrath announced.

You clenched your fists in anger, remembering what happened to Chameleon before you reached this point.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

"What should we do...We are trapped. One of us will have to!" your heart was racing in your chest, many of the guests had turned into corruptors as they failed the test and were consumed by Mania. You were trapped in a room with monsters outside, to pass you had to defeat them and protect Cabernet and Chameleon along the way.

"Chameleon! Can you try and control the monster? It is still alive!" you shouted and Chameleon nodded before attempting to focus her powers strongly on the Corruptor in front, holding it back for some time. You looked around the room and found a kitchen knife in a drawer then stabbed the confused monster in the chest, the blade clanks against a silver key that drops out and Chameleon releases the control on the monster who lunges at you.

You try to dodge but are too close to it when suddenly you feel a rush of power in your limbs and are forcefully pulled back like a puppet, thumping against the wall in pain. You groan and open your eyes to see Chameleon in front of you, smiling at you in relief while the monster lunged at her. You gasp and try to get up but cannot feel your limbs at all, as if someone took away your control on your body. It was Chameleon, she was doing this intentionally.

"No! Chameleon!"

Suddenly, Cabernet picked up her cane and swung at the monster's legs causing it to falter for a brief moment giving Chameleon enough time to pick up the knife and stab it into the monster again, finally killing it with the guest still alive.

"It's okay, Chief....I didn't tell you this before but I figured out everything a while ago. I peered into McGrath and Cabernet's minds....you can do this, I know. I know you will come back for me, until then..." Chameleon's voice echoed in your head while you watched her fall to the ground while gazing at you with a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me if you knew?!"

"Because....have you forgotten who I am? A psychopath that thrives on schadenfreude; of course, I wanted to see you suffer. How fun it was, watching you rack your brain and give your all for this hellish game, hehe~"

It had to be a lie; you couldn't believe her. Her actions contradicted her words as you watched her fall powerless, you finally gained strength in your limbs again and ran up to her to hold her in your arms. She smiled and caressed your face then you felt her placing something in your hand, they key to unlock the door.

"Go, my Chief. The last clue I can give you is.... our client is a Sinner."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

"Sinner.... the princess of the Franc Family is a Sinner, and this whole banquet was for her. But she wasn't the one who made this game, but she was clearly taking advantage of it." you thought when McGrath suddenly revealed herself in the empty room. She was annoyed that you made it this far with Cabernet, she has been wanting to eliminate you all this time because you don't deserve to be beside Cabernet.

"You stand in a place of arrogance and use my name to evaluate others....Hmph, who gave you that right?" Cabernet spoke as she elegantly walked up to McGrath. "Who are you to judge anyone else?"

"But... I did this for you... to give you the purest, kindest and noblest souls in the world worthy of your taste!" McGrath retorted.

"For me? Haha...." Cabernet laughed softly then motioned you to come next to her. "The honorable souls you seek are not something judged by your superficial and self-righteous criteria."

And in a moment of impatience, McGrath eliminated Cabernet on her own making you the final winner. But what awaited you as the victor was not what you were promised yet it wasn't surprising either, thanks to Chameleon's hint earlier. Cabernet was indeed a Sinner, and while she didn't plan any of this, she truly enjoyed and feasted upon the souls she found appetizing. Among them, your soul was the one she wanted the most and waited for it all this time.

"My ingredients are back...and my feast is ready~" Cabernet mused in ecstasy, running her fingers through your hair in languish movements. You were lying on the dinner table in front of her, all served up for her.

"Cabernet! What....what are you doing?!"

Cabernet smirked and leaned down near your head, taking a whiff of your scent and sighing in pleasure. "I like you so much....so much so that I want to gobble you down in one bit....I held back so much until now...."

She leaned over and kissed your head, "Ahh... how delicious you are!"

She lifted your head, letting you see the rows of transparent boxes under the light. "Chameleon?! Why is she here?!"

"An interesting companion you brought along.... Claims to enjoy toying with others, especially you, but didn't hold back in sacrificing herself for you when it was time.... Just like her name, she changes her colors to blend according to the situation and hide her true self, the self that secretly cares for you beyond what she knows herself.... A unique flavor, something worth savoring~"

"....I'm the one you want most, right? Then let her go and have me!" you said desperately and Cabernet stares at you in surprise before turning gleeful and lunging at you feverishly, pinning you on the table.

"Yes! Yes! Exactly! This is what I want! You are the most delicious! After overcoming all hardships of the game, your soul is brighter, tastier and more attractive than ever! Aaah! Seeing you with her made me so eager to touch you and taste you!~"

She held you by your wrists and you could feel her soft skin and warm touch, you tried to snatch your hand away but she only pressed on tighter.

"Don't be afraid... I'll enjoy you slowly and take care of you. I'm just going to take one bite, think of it as a kiss. Just a kiss...."

Cabernet leaned down and lightly touched her lips on your cheek, it was a feather like touch that you barely felt yet your body was drained, like your soul was being sucked out. The next second, a crystal-clear grape was in Cabernet's mouth and she bit it gently, the rich juice flowed down the corner of her mouth....

"I...I need to restrain and detain you...."

Cabernet smirked, "Go ahead, Chief. Let's see if the growth of your power can catch up with the expansion of my desires. When that time comes, I'll willingly be at your mercy and follow you to the ends of the Earth~"

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

It had been 2 weeks since Cabernet's arrest and interrogation, you discovered all her secrets and the treasures she was talking about. Coincidentally, she reminded you of Chameleon slightly when you had met her as well. The two of them had uncanny similarities but significant differences.

"Chief, Sinner Chameleon wants to meet you after work." Nightingale informed you in your office and you told her to accept Chameleon's call. It was already 6 pm and you were approaching your limit for the day hence packed up your things and went to Chameleon's cell at around 6:30 pm.

"Good work to you, Chief~" Chameleon mused as she allowed you inside her cell which was unusually darkened.

"What is it? I think it's rather early for our chat..."

"Hehe~ Well, I wanted to have a longer chat today hence called you earlier. I hope you don't mind?~"

"Not really.... Hah~ I'm actually glad you called me because I was getting tired from all the paperwork." you sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. "Why don't you switch on the other lights? Are they not working? I'll have them repaired by tomorrow if that's the case."

Chameleon simply grinned and didn't reply, you stared at her in confusion when you suddenly heard clinking of heels from the other corner of the cell along with the tapping of a cane.

"My~ Do you prefer to keep the lights on under the sheets?~" it was Cabernet.

"Cabernet? What are you doing here....?" you cautiously said and stood up, realizing you didn't detect her through your shackles, it was Chameleon's doing. You didn't expect to see the two of them together after the incident at the banquet, you thought Chameleon would hold a grudge against her for turning her into food but it seemed they both had become friends instead.

"I'm here to have my meal, of course~" Cabernet replied in a joyful tone, making you confused then look at Chameleon who walked to your side and put her arms around your neck.

"I thought we could have additional company for our chat tonight~" Chameleon said while gazing into your eyes and Cabernet walked up to your other side now.

"What? When did the two of you decide this?"

"Hmm? Well, we have been in touch with each other since the banquet. I have been helping her deal with her urges using my hypnotherapy, and we eventually opened up to each other about some personal matters....like my relationship with you." Chameleon said while twirling your hair in her fingers.

Your eyes widened and you slowly pieced together the situation then Cabernet spoke, "You know how much I want your soul, Chief. But I also want you in another way.... and Ms Chameleon here told me she can give me what she wants~"

Ah, this was really happening, wasn't it? You had no way out. They both had improved and held themselves back since their respective arrests but naturally, their desires still remained.

"You'll satisfy us, won't you, our good-hearted Chief?~" they spoke in unison and you accepted the outcome with a nod of your head. Well, you still had to compensate Chameleon for her help in the mission and Cabernet had to be rewarded for keeping her appetite in check. Yes, that's what you were going to do.

Cabernet was the first to act as she leaned in and licked your right ear, sending a chill down your spine.

"Mm~ Just to prepare myself, hehe~"

"A-Are we going to do it here....?"

"Oh, do you have a better suggestion, Chief?" Cabernet asked, still continuing to lick your ear lobe. You glanced at Chameleon and she already understood your intention with a smirk.

"....My room has a bigger bed than the cells, still not as big but it should be sufficient."

Cabernet also smirked now and gently bit your ear lobe, "An excellent suggestion, Chief. Lead the way. Oh, and would it be alright to order a few delicacies? You know I have been having some cravings recently~"

"....Alright, what do you want?"

Cabernet had a list prepared of what she wanted but refused to tell you as it was to be a surprise so you let her hand it over to one of the guards while you took both of them to your room. You expected them to be all over you as soon as you'd enter but they were surprisingly patient, casually sitting on the bed and chatting a bit while you took a quick shower and changed into comfortable clothes.

"Am I really going to do this? With both of them at the same time? This is going to be a bad idea, isn't it? But they are quite...." you pondered under the shower then felt your face heat up imagining their beautiful bodies in front of you, "Stop! This isn't right! I need to be cautious with them, they both aren't just ordinary people....!"

You took a few deep breaths then finally came out of the shower dressed in a loose nightwear but were taken by surprise as you stepped outside the bathroom. The room was dimly lit with some candles and the 2 women were seated on your bed still fully dressed up in their usual attire. You had no idea how they had the time to prepare all this while you were in the shower, but it made you more nervous now seeing all the elaborate setup they were going for.

"Have a seat, Chief~" Cabernet said and patted the space between her and Chameleon. You walked up to the bed and sat between them as instructed then Chameleon moved behind you and asked you to climb up more. You did as told and were fully seated on the bed now with Chameleon behind you, holding you in her arms and Cabernet in front straddling your lap.

"Are you nervous, Chief? You are experienced in this so there's no need to feel that way~" Chameleon whispered in your ear from behind, her soft voice flowing in your ear almost making you entranced.

"I...I have never done it with two people at once." you confessed out of embarrassment, making them even more eager to do this. Cabernet slid her hands from your chest down to your belly before leaning near your neck and breathing in deeply.

"You are so delectable, Chief.... Aahh~ The urge to gobble you in one bite or the one to eat you bit by bit....which one should I give in to?~"

"Now now~ Let's take it slow and watch her break in our arms, I'm sure you'd prefer that a lot more~" Chameleon said while placing gentle kisses on your neck.

"Hey! There won't be any eating or soul sucking! Don't force me to use the shackles on you both!" you shouted in a pathetically desperate way, making them chuckle together.

"Don't worry, Chief, we'll keep our promise. Tonight is to satisfy our lusts together; my appetite will be satiated plenty by this until you offer your soul to me~" Cabernet said and kissed the other side of your neck now.

Their movements synced yet evoked different feelings in you; Cabernet was more into licking your skin and taking in your scent while Chameleon wanted to mark you with her bites and lipstick.

"Your neck is so delectable....I can hardly hold back from taking a bite~" Cabernet moaned and continued to lick.

Chameleon then tilted your head back and kissed your lips deeply, your tongue intertwining with hers as you moaned into each other. Cabernet took this opportunity to make a long lick from your nape to your jaw then sucking on your throat, a muffled moan leaving your mouth as you kissed Chameleon.

"Mm~ Delicious....but let's add in some flavor~" said Cabernet and reached out to the side table to grab a bottle of honey. Chameleon finally released the long and chaste kiss; you breathed quickly in her embrace then Cabernet was already back and poured a drizzle of honey on your neck while licking her lips, gazing at how it trickled down your skin.

"Thank you for the meal~" Cabernet said before diving in your neck and licking up the honey like a starved kitten, your body trembled at her ministrations feeling her warm tongue move up and down your neck while still being aware of Chameleon behind you who was unusually silent the whole time but in reality, she was quite enjoying watching you this way.

Cabernet suddenly bit hard at your neck making you arch up and clench the bedsheet with a stifled moan. She then looked at Chameleon and indicated something to her which was followed by Chameleon putting a blindfold over your eyes, stripping you off your vision.

"Let's play a little game, Chief~" Chameleon whispered and you could only nod and follow along. She then crawled in front of you as well making you lean on the headboard and they straddled each of your legs, smirking to themselves watching your messy state. Cabernet suddenly held your wrists and raised your arms and you soon felt something vine-like slither around your wrists and bind them together. You were confused now, what were they planning?

"You must be hungry after working so much. How about this- we will feed you some things one by one and you have to guess who fed you. If you get all of them right then you win otherwise....hehe~" Chameleon said.

You bit your lower lip and agreed to the tempting game. You understood how they were going to feed you and you were confident you'd win. Soon enough, you felt your chin being held and parted your lips for the incoming feast. A soft and familiar sensation was placed on your lips followed by a sweet taste and texture filling your tongue, a half strawberry was placed in your mouth.

"....Chameleon." you replied and they both smiled and congratulated you. This was easy, you had kissed Chameleon many times that you lost count, the taste and feeling of her lips was engraved in your mind. The next sensation you felt was new to you, an intoxicating wine-like scent accompanied by a rich flavor. Yet the food placed in your mouth was again a half strawberry but you were sure it wasn't Chameleon this time.

"Cabernet."

"My~ Well done, Chief. Now you know how both of us taste, the next rounds should be more interesting~" Cabernet said with a chuckle.

You knew you wouldn't win if this carried for too long but you were too aroused to back away now. The next sensation wasn't a food but a drink rather, another sweet and wine-like flavor trickled down your tongue while one of them kissed you deeply.

"Cabernet again...."

"Hehe~ Correct!"

"What happens if I win?"

"Why of course, there's a reward~" Cabernet said.

"....And what if I lose?"

"A punishment, naturally~" Chameleon said.

Ah, your destiny was in your hands as always. The game continued and the next feeling wasn't something sweet but rather cool and refreshing with a hint of spice. This confused you as the shape of their lips wasn't significantly different but their kissing techniques were, yet this one wasn't so different than the one before but also didn't feel familiar. Your mind was jumbled now, the pressure of knowing there's a reward and punishment clouded your judgment but you decided to trust your instincts.

"Chameleon...."

"Ah, I didn't think you'd guess that~" Chameleon chuckled.

"Did you eat something else before feeding me?"

"Mhm, correct. As expected of my exceptional Chief~"

Cabernet chuckled with her and you guessed it was her turn next but were still cautious. The next feeling on your lips was a familiar texture, it was a grape. You bit onto it from your side causing you to brush against the feeder's lips but it was very light, you barely felt anything. You expected her to come in again as you ate the end in your mouth but none of them moved and patiently waited for you to answer.

"Wait, I have to guess just from that? How is this fair...."

"Oh, come on, Chief. We know you can~" Cabernet said.

You swallowed thickly and pondered for some time, extremely unsure of the answer.

"C-Cabernet....?" you said nervously and there was silence from them both but they grinned at each other before finally speaking.

"Correct answer, Chief~"

You almost breathed a sigh of relief then heard the ruffling of clothes and your ears heated up in anticipation. The blindfold was finally removed and the sight in front of you left you breathless. Both of them had discarded their clothes and now sat in their bra and panties in front of you. Your eyes trailed over their exquisite features as if they were a lavish feast served for you.

"Time for your reward, Chief~" Chameleon mused and they both crawled closer to you then the vines holding your wrists was removed and they held each of your hand and brought it towards their abdomen. You blushed profusely at their intention but both of them were completely sure of this.

"We have been waiting for so long, Chief~" Cabernet said in a lusty voice and slipped your hand past her underwear, your fingers touched her clit followed by her already soaked cunt. Chameleon wasn't much better either, she was already rearing for you to be inside her. They rested their heads on your shoulders and kissed both of your cheeks while grinding on your palms. You rubbed their clits with your thumbs first, earning low yet pleasant sighs from them near your ears.

"C-Chief~ Mhm...~" Cabernet moaned.

"G-Go in...aaah~" Chameleon sighed.

You wasted no more time and finally inserted one finger inside each of them, their backs arching together feeling your finger part their walls and prod deeply. Cabernet held onto you much tighter and impatiently kissed you while waving her hips back and forth, clearly needy for more. Chameleon was more composed but you knew it was a facade, you had to continue a bit more to see her true self. You felt their juices coat your fingers and soon inserted a second one, catching them off guard but they moaned in ecstasy nonetheless.

"Oh! This is....! Delightful! More! Give me more of this feeling, Chief!~" Cabernet was whimpering now, desperately rutting her hips on your fingers. It was a sight to behold, seeing the elegant and noble heiress of the Francs break apart this way and become so needy in your arms. You angled your fingers deeper in her and touched her sweet spot which made her moan loudly and fall on you, holding your shoulders for dear life.

"Mhm~ Chief! More....yes.... right there!~ Aaaaaahn!~" Cabernet was first to release, a raspy moan echoing in the room as she arched back then fell on your shoulder, breathing heavily from her orgasm. You then focused your attention on Chameleon who was desperately trying to hold back her voice, you knew she was like this but it still surprised you seeing her this way.

"Let go, Chameleon. I have got you." you spoke in a gentle tone and assured her, finally making her let down her walls and fall in your arms. You thrusted you fingers at her deep spot earning a surprised gasp from her but she was soon rutting herself on your palm to seek her release. She too leaned on your shoulder now and kissed you deeply as you fingered her before burying her face in your neck and cumming with a whimper.

The two women laid panting in your embrace, heavy breaths flowing past your nape and your fingers drenched in their slick. Then suddenly Cabernet unbuttoned your shirt in a hurry, as if some kind of desperate need possessed her.

"More! More! Give me more, Chief!~"

Chameleon also joined in and they practically tore away your shirt and threw it faraway before Cabernet lunged at you and pinned you down. Her lips made kisses all over your face while Chameleon was busy unbuckling your pants and underwear. Cabernet's hands roamed on your body languidly, as if noting every feature, as if checking the goods before she consumed them. You soon felt numerous bites and marks placed on your belly and thighs by the 2 women, practically marking you as their possession.

"I can't wait anymore, Chief. I need you~" Cabernet said feverishly and dived between your legs to eat you out, your head shot back in surprise feeling her tongue lap up your folds like a thirsty kitten.

"W-Wait! Not so fast— ngh!~" you whimpered and attempted to hold Cabernet's head to push her away but Chameleon stopped your hand and winked at you, "Let her have her meal, Chief. It's rude to interrupt when someone's eating~"

You clenched the bedsheets again when suddenly Chameleon crawled up to your face and turned around to face Cabernet before putting her legs on either side of your head and sitting down. Her wet core was placed on your lips and you quickly began licking up her folds followed by inserting your tongue inside. Chameleon moaned loudly now, discarding all that held her back earlier. Her hips grinded on your tongue feverishly, chasing her own release again.

Cabernet also fastened her movements now; her tongue reached deep inside you and prodded your sweet spot while she sucked out your juices. You could barely control yourself now, trying to focus on pleasuring Chameleon while also holding back from Cabernet's movements. Your mind was overwhelmed and fuzzy from pleasure.

"Mmm~ Cum for me, Chief~ Let me taste you, I have waited so long!~" Cabernet moaned as she replaced her tongue with her fingers and you truly couldn't hold back now.

Feeling your walls clench on her fingers, Cabernet attached her mouth to your core again and you finally released all over her. She drank up every last drop as if it was the last meal she'd ever have, which honestly might be case now. Nothing could satisfy her appetite now; she needed your body and soul for everything. On the other hand, Chameleon also came soon after as your moan vibrated inside her, her juices covering your face as she breathed out before finally sitting beside you.

"You know, Chief? Earlier, you guessed the last one wrong. It wasn't her who fed you the grape." Chameleon's voice flowed in your head, making you surprised.

"Then why did you...?"

"Hehe~ I just felt you deserve to be rewarded for all your hard work. I can punish you anytime I want, right?~"

"Aaah~ What an exquisite taste! This is all I want! Chief.... Chief.... Be mine and let me have you for every meal!~" Cabernet chanted in a crazed manner as she crawled up your body and kissed you deeply again.

"Oh, you are not going to have my toy so easily!~" Chameleon spoke and straddled you as well before pushing Cabernet away and kissing you roughly. They both fought for your taste and lips, kissing you one by one until either were satisfied but you were too overwhelmed now.

"Wait! Wait! Let me breathe!" you desperately shouted and your shackles activated subconsciously. A burning and piercing sensation ran through both of them and they gasped in pain before you finally sat up and hugged them tightly.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to! Does it hurt?! I'm so sorry both of you!" you trembled and desperately apologized to them for using the shackles unintentionally. Chameleon peered into your mind and knew you didn't mean it; you could still barely control them even now. She conveyed the same thought to Cabernet and they both smiled gently then embraced you back.

"We know, Chief. Don't worry about it." Chameleon said in a soft voice, trying to soothe you.

"Mhm, it wasn't that painful. Rather, it was quite pleasurable if I'm being honest~" Cabernet added.

"Oh, hehe~ You have no idea how these shackles can be used for pleasure when she does it intentionally~" Chameleon said, making Cabernet curious.

"Oh my~ Now that's interesting, we should try that someday, Chief~"

They both laughed lightly and you smiled to yourself. You didn't understand them well, but you did know they trusted you. Now you wanted to show them your affection. The night carried on, Chameleon brought out the strap-on in your cupboard for you to wear. Both of them were sprawled out on your bed with you on top of Cabernet, her milky legs hanging over your shoulders as you pounded into her with the strap. At the same time, your hand was buried deep in Chameleon's hole and ruthlessly thrusted in and out.

"Aah~ Y/n.... Y/n! Yes! Faster!~" Cabernet moaned, she had started using your name instead some time ago as you continued. Truthfully, you became more flustered whenever anyone spoke your name but hearing these 2 women say it was a completely different experience.

"Close~ Mhm! Y/n~" Chameleon gasped and thrusted your fingers deeply, finally making her cum. At the same time, you drilled into Cabernet faster and she released as well at the same time. Their moans synced like music to your ears, a bewitching sight to see them both fucked out under you this way. But you weren't done. The next moment, you flipped Chameleon on her stomach and she stood up on all fours automatically, as if knowing your thoughts well.

"Come in, Y/n. Be inside me!~"

A newfound enthusiasm surged through you and you hilted the strap deeply inside her, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as you started thrusting right away. You held onto her hips, fingers digging in her skin and squeezing the flesh. Her own hips were thrusting back into you now, a delicious rhythm forming of your thrusts. Soon after, Cabernet sat up and hugged you from the side before kissing you desperately.

"Focus on me, Y/n~" Chameleon's voice suddenly echoed in your head and you glanced at her to see her looking at you from the corner of her eye, you could swear she was smirking. Cabernet released the kiss and you finally fastened your thrusts, pounding into Chameleon's sopping and needy cunt. It was almost animalistic, the bed creaking from your movements. You buried into her deeply when she finally came, squirting her juices on the sheets. You pulled out of her and laid back to rest but saw Cabernet straddling your lap now and pushing the cock inside herself.

"We aren't done yet, Chief~" Cabernet mused while grinding on the strap.

"That's right~" Chameleon also said and crawled to your side.

You were sure you'd end up continuing until morning this way, both of them had impeccable stamina and desire, and they were expecting you to keep up. You'll satisfy them, right?~

#path to nowhere #kuro's kinktober #ptn x reader #chameleon #cabernet #ptn chameleon #ptn cabernet #chameleon x reader #cabernet x reader #ptn smut

389 notes · View notes