#hes like the best of either to me like either the most lovely pretty fertile omega or hes the most stunning intense pretty alpha ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crystallinestars · 9 days

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NSFW Alphabet - Jiaoqiu

The 2.5 story quest destroyed me, so I wrote this to cope. This is probably the most detailed and longest alphabet I have written so far. Jiaoqiu ended up being kinkier than intended, but I hope you guys enjoy. These HCs take place some time before 2.5.

Jiaoqiu x fem!Reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

As a doctor, Jiaoqiu is good at spotting any signs of discomfort in your body and knowing what to do to help you feel better. He usually runs a warm bath with herbs for both of you to soak in to alleviate any soreness or fatigue and clean yourselves up. If a bath is not an option, he’ll wipe you down with a damp cloth at the very least.

Jiaoqiu carefully massages any parts of your body that have been restrained or forced into one position for too long to stimulate blood flow. He's gentle with you, carefully caressing your face and kissing any mark he left on your skin as if saying sorry for being too rough on you. He also makes you drink water to keep yourself hydrated.

He’s very caring toward you but can underestimate or ignore his aches and pains, so he appreciates it when you return the favor and take care of him, too.

If he’s not too tired, Jiaoqiu also whips up a simple but delicious meal for you to enjoy and regain your stamina if either of you has business to attend to afterward.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Jiaoqiu likes to joke that he’s perfect all over—from his looks, down to his abilities— but if he were to be serious, the foxian would choose his hands as his favorite body part. Despite the war making him doubt his worth as a healer, the fact remains that his hands saved the lives of many soldiers. Moreover, his hands allow him to cook delicious and nutritious dishes for others to enjoy and seeing their happiness at eating his food brings Jiaoqiu a sense of satisfaction. Being able to touch and caress your body is also a huge plus, so how could he not favor his hands?

On you, he adores your face. More specifically, your facial expressions. Don’t get him wrong, he finds you very pretty from head to toe, but Jiaoqiu simply loves the various expressions you make. Whether it’s the way your face lights up in delight when eating his cooking, or how your brows scrunch and lips purse into a thin line while glaring at him for teasing you, or the way you wince in pain when sampling his super spicy dishes, or the soft way you look at him when saying you love him—Jiaoqiu adores them all. Even if you’re not very expressive, Jiaoqiu will try his best to get a reaction out of you because he likes seeing the different sides of you. Plus, the expressions you make when orgasming or when he pleasures you also fill him with pride. He likes knowing he makes you feel good, and that these cute faces of yours are reserved for his viewing pleasure only.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Jiaoqiu’s semen is an off-white color and has a jelly-like consistency. His cum tastes a bit salty.

Jiaoqiu enjoys filling you with his cum or painting your skin with it (especially your lower belly or back), though he does have a slight preference for ejaculating inside you, be it your pussy or mouth. He also enjoys pouring his cum onto bits of good and feeding them to you (more on that in the kinks section).

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Jiaoqiu won’t tell you outright, but he has a keen nose and can smell where you are in your menstrual cycle. Your needy scent during your most fertile period increases his horniness, so he tends to get more handsy with you during that time.

He can also smell when you are about to get your period, and preps for it by cooking dishes infused with herbs meant to alleviate cramping and pain.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Before joining the war as a medic, Jiaoqiu did have one partner he was intimate with, though the relationship did not last long. As such, he has a bit of experience. It’s not a lot, but it’s enough for Jiaoqiu to know what to do.

Even so, he pays careful attention to your guidance and reactions when having sex. He may have experience, but he knows each person has different preferences, and he wants to learn all the ways you like being touched so he can cater to your needs.

As a doctor, he’s very knowledgeable about the body, so he knows which areas can bring great pleasure when stimulated just right. There’s a good chance he will find an erogenous zone on your body that you didn’t even know you had.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Jiaoqiu really likes positions where you’re on top. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, lotus, etc… are all ones he likes because he can sit back and let you do most of the strenuous work. He keeps his hands securely on your hips and helps guide you up and down his cock, admiring the view of your body bouncing on his lap.

Additionally, he is fond of spooning. Laying on your sides with his elbow under one of your knees, hiking your leg up in the air while he leisurely thrusts into you is both comfy and hot for him. It also allows him easy access to kiss and mark your neck or shoulders, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

Jiaoqiu also enjoys upright doggystyle and pronebone. Regular doggystyle is fine, but he likes to press your back flush against his chest, wrap his arms around your waist, and rest his chin on your shoulder so he can watch how your jaw goes slack and eyes glaze over while he fucks you nice and deep. After all, he loves to watch your expressions of pleasure.

The foxian is a bit possessive, particularly when he’s feeling jealous or horny from smelling you during your fertile window. Pronebone is a great position for him because it makes him feel like you’re his and his alone. Trapping you under his weight, fucking you deeply while marking your neck, shoulders, and back in bite marks gives him a primal sense of satisfaction.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Jiaoqiu can be a little goofy or serious depending on your needs, but he’s typically a nice blend of both. He tries to keep the mood lighthearted with an occasional harmless taunt or tease to get a reaction out of you, but he doesn’t overdo it. He approaches sex responsibly, and does his best to relax you and take your feelings seriously. It’s important to him that you enjoy the experience, after all. If a little joke or a whispered reassurance helps you feel more at ease, then he’ll do whatever is necessary to make you comfortable.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has a bush of curly pink hair down there that he keeps neatly trimmed, but it lacks the ombré of the rest of his hair. It’s one solid, dark pink hue.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Jiaoqiu isn’t one to wax poetic during sex, but he does bring his version of romance into it. You can feel his love for you mainly through his actions. His touches are always gentle, never rough or bruising. His lips leave kisses all over your skin, covering your face, neck, shoulders, and back in a branding of love.

Jiaoqiu always holds you close to him, desiring the feeling of your bodies pressed flush together as you make love. Whether you’re on top or he is, his hands gravitate toward your body and trace the contours of your figure, admiring how he can call someone as beautiful as you his lover. He didn’t think he would fall in love again after the war left him so numb and afraid of attachment, but you and Feixiao helped to heal his wounded heart, for which he is forever grateful. He holds you in high regard for you made him feel alive with your mere presence and touched his heart deeply where he thought nothing but ashes remained.

Jiaoqiu likes to cup your face when you have sex and trace his thumb along your cheek in a tender gesture. Even if you look like a drooling mess from what he’s doing to you, he gently cradles your face and murmurs how cute you look before leaning in for a sweet kiss. The healer is always loving toward you, even while engaging in kinkier play.

On the occasions where you two have romantic sex, Jiaoqiu lets his guard down and exposes his vulnerable side. He seeks comfort in your closeness, treating your body with gentleness and reverence, and feels overwhelmed in a good way when you treat him just as tenderly in return. Times like these result in slow lovemaking and whispered “I love you”s where he holds your hand and touches his forehead to yours, your gazes meeting. During such moments, Jiaoqiu is more vocal about his feelings, murmuring quiet compliments and praises about how happy he is to be with you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jiaoqiu has a healthy sexual appetite, and masturbates about three times a week, mainly as a way to relieve stress. That number went down once he entered a relationship with you since he finds sex more fun than jacking off by his lonesome.

When he wants to masturbate, Jiaoqiu chooses moments when he’s completely alone, though he still muffles his voice just in case. He likes to start slow, leisurely pumping his cock to stoke the flames of desire in his abdomen, before speeding up and gripping his dick tighter. He sometimes uses toys to help him reach release faster, like vibrators or warming lube for the added sensation.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Jiaoqiu is a switch. He’s comfortable being dominant and taking the lead in the bedroom, enjoying having you at his mercy. Likewise, he can be submissive and find relief in relinquishing control and being taken care of, but can be a bit bratty as a sub due to his sharp tongue.

As a foodie, it’s no surprise that he enjoys food play. Garnishing your body in tasty morsels and drizzling sauces (not spicy) over your skin makes you look like a delicious treat. Like a hungry cat, he licks his lips before diving in to consume the food off your body, licking up every crumb. He loves your body, and he loves good food, so having both at the same time is like heaven.

Aside from decorating your body with food, he also enjoys the idea of covering food in your or his cum. He likes gathering up some of your slick onto a bite of food, like a strawberry, before consuming it. Similarly, he likes smearing some of his ejaculate onto food and feeding it to you with his cum acting as garnish.

Along with food play, Jiaoqiu is into temperature and sensation play. He likes blindfolding you and watching your reactions to him running feathers, ice cubes, warm towels, his tail, and many other textured items along your skin and erogenous zones. He’s also a fan of receiving this treatment since his other senses become heightened with the loss of his sight, and the stimulation feels novel and exciting. If you stimulate his erogenous zones using this method, he’ll become aroused quite quickly.

Additionally, Jiaoqiu enjoys mirror sex. As much as he loves reverse cowgirl and doggystyle, these positions obscure your pretty face from him, and it’s a pity because he loves your facial expressions. The perfect solution to his dilemma is to have sex in front of a full-length mirror. It allows Jiaoqiu to see how your face slackens with pleasure, how you bite your lip to muffle a moan, or how your eyes roll back when he hits a good spot. He doesn’t want you to miss out on how ravishing you look, so he cups your chin and gently guides your head to make you look in the mirror and see the debauched state you’re in, murmuring for you to watch how well you take his cock.

Another one of his kinks is hair-pulling. He enjoys it when you lightly tug on his hair, whether when he’s got his face buried between your legs or during sex. He sometimes lets out a soft growl when you do that.

Jiaoqiu enjoys a bit of pain. He mainly prefers things like biting, hair pulling, or electric shocks to get that high, but can handle whipping and spanking if you’re gentle with him. Despite his attraction to pain, he doesn’t enjoy rough treatment. He can also enjoy light choking (receiving) provided you can do it safely and build up trust with him.

To add to the long list, Jiaoqiu also likes light bondage with scarves or handcuff (giving and receiving), and if you’re willing, he’s interested in trying shibari on you. Some of his other kinks are biting and marking, edging, blindfolds, and dirty talk.

However, not every session with Jiaoqiu is this kinky. He does enjoy vanilla sex where you can both just relish in the intimacy and romance of the connection, sharing sweet kisses and tender touches.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Jiaoqiu prefers having sex at home where things can be kept private and he has access to all kinds of equipment to spice up your sessions. He wouldn’t risk doing it in other places and potentially getting caught since he has an image to maintain as Feixiao’s retainer.

At home though, almost every room is fair game except the kitchen. Jiaoqiu considers the kitchen his workspace and doesn’t like the idea of having sex where he works to make medicine. Otherwise, places like the couch, office desk, and bathtub are all potential lovemaking spots, though he does prefer the bed since it makes it easy to cuddle and fall asleep afterward.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Usually, when you stroke Jiaoqiu’s ears, he feels a sense of peaceful relaxation, but if you rub the sensitive spot at the base of his ear or run your fingers along the rim of his ears just right, the pleasurable tingles can become arousing for him.

He also gets turned on by your obvious desire for him. Give him a few sensual caresses, whisper a tasteful innuendo in his ear, a lustful look, and his interest is piqued. He finds excitement in a sexually charged game of cat and mouse, regardless of which one of you is chasing or being chased.

Jiaoqiu can smell when you're ovulating. The scent is weak, but his sharp nose can pick up on when you're feeling horny, and it influences his libido. As mentioned previously, he can get more handsy with you during that time.

Another thing that arouses Jiaoqiu are your reactions to his teasing. If his teasing manages to fluster or arouse you, he’ll keep pushing your buttons to make you even more flustered. Something about your flushed cheeks, shallow breaths, and wavering voice makes him want to tease you more and get a greater reaction out of you. You look so cute when flustered, positively adorable, even. Just how much cuter would you look and sound if he touched your chest? Kissed your neck? Made you moan? Why don’t you show him, darling~?

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Absolutely no sharing. Jiaoqiu gets jealous easily, so threesomes get a hard no from him. He is also prideful, and dislikes being humiliated or degraded. It’s an instant turn-off for him.

Although he's okay with being hurt, he won’t do things that might harm you, such as asphyxiation, impact play, or knife play. He’s a healer—he could never bring himself to hurt you that way, even if you begged him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jiaoqiu loves eating not only hotpot but also pussy. He could spend hours between your legs, burying his tongue into your cunt and lapping at your slick. He wants to see you fall apart under his mouth, so he snakes one arm around your hips and pins them down, taking your clit between his lips. He softly sucks on it while deftly flicking his tongue over the bud, ears twitching when he hears you moan.

To truly bring you over the edge, Jiaoqiu slips two fingers into your dripping cunt and curls them to find that roughly textured spot he knows will make you keen for him. The dual assault of his mouth and fingers never fails to make you see stars as you orgasm, and Jiaoqiu opens his eyes to soak in the sight of you unraveling under his touch. It turns him on to see you feel this good because of him, and he can’t get enough of the experience, so he ends up eating you out for a while longer, making you come undone over and over until you’re tugging at his hair to spare you from the overstimulation.

He’s always breathless by the end, face glistening and dripping with your juices, but the look of desire in his golden eyes promises he’s not through with you. Not when you’ve got him so hard and aroused from watching you fall apart on his tongue.

If you want to return the favor, the foxian healer will be more than happy to watch you go down on him. When you blow him, Jiaoqiu tends to be more vocal, unable to fully hold back his soft sighs and strained moans. If you rub the base of his tail while sucking him off, he’ll buck into your mouth with a soft hiss of your name.

Jiaoqiu has a tendency to keep at least one hand on your head while you work your mouth along his cock, guiding your pace or gripping your hair when he feels his orgasm approaching. The closer he is to orgasm, the more he will squirm, running his hands through your hair, gently urging you to take him deeper or bucking his hips into your mouth. Jiaoqiu's usually sly smile gets replaced by a flushed, slack-jawed expression of pure pleasure, tail lashing in excitement behind him. However, he still tries to maintain his composure and murmurs gentle encouragements and praises so you'll keep going, before his words get cut off by a choked moan as he spills down your throat. He also goes weak in the knees when you suck his testicles.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Jiaoqiu likes to take his time with foreplay, prolonging it for as long as possible, but for the actual act, he enjoys a more moderate pace. On a rare occasion, he might play around with the speed of his thrusts, going from moderate, to slow, to fast just to tease you, but overall, he likes to maintain a moderate and steady space. Not too slow to the point it feels teasing, yet not too fast so you won't wear yourselves out too quickly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

As mentioned above, Jiaoqiu likes to take his time with foreplay and draw out the session, but he can be convinced to go for a quickie if you show your strong desire for him. Though if either of you are horny enough to want a quick fuck, Jiaoqiu would prefer to settle it with oral sex.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jiaoqiu is willing to take risks in the bedroom to an extent. He’s eager to try new things to see if there’s something either or both of you can discover you like, but he isn’t willing to have sex in public places or get rough with you. He would much rather be the one treated roughly than hurt you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This foxian healer doesn’t exercise much, so his stamina isn’t high. He lasts an average amount in bed and goes for only one round, but his foreplay is usually drawn out for quite a while, making the session lengthy. Sex is more than just the act of copulation, he says. Foreplay is just as important, if not more so.

If he’s under the effect of an aphrodisiac, then Jiaoqiu lasts another 1-2 rounds, but he becomes dead tired afterward and is likely to pass out quickly once it's over.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Jiaoqiu owns a few toys for himself, mainly a bullet vibrator. The vibrating sensations against his cock and other erogenous zones provide a powerful stimulation that gets him going.

For you, he has a whole box of toys he want to try. Blindfolds, handcuffs, vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, electric wands, etc… He’s eager to test them out on you to see how you’ll react. Will introduce toys he thinks you might like into your sessions, though you don’t have to accept them if you don’t want them.

He’s not opposed to you using toys on him, particularly the electric wand, wax candles, and handcuffs. He might put up a fuss, but he does enjoy it when you play with and stimulate his body. Just make sure to properly care for him afterwards.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jiaoqiu loves teasing others, and you are no exception. He enjoys messing with you in your daily life to see your reactions, but he loves teasing you during sex even more. He teases you by tying you up and stimulating your sensitive spots with sex toys or feathers, giving you just enough pleasure to feel good but not enough to make you orgasm, until you’re writhing and begging for more stimulation. While fucking you, Jiaoqiu can also switch up the pace of his thrusts from moderate to slow or completely still just so he can hear your frustrated whines and watch you desperately push your hips back against his, before suddenly pounding into you at a quick pace.

Jiaoqiu is even better at verbal teasing, particularly while edging or fucking you silly. He might say “Oh my, there’s drool running down your chin. Does it feel that good?” Or “You’re dripping wet, dear. Can you feel how easily my fingers slide inside your pretty pussy? Aeons, you’re squeezing them so tightly, do you want me inside you that badly?” and the like.

If you decide to tease him back, it’s best that you’re nice about it. Jiaoqiu might kick up a fuss at first since he’s more used to teasing than being teased, but he can enjoy having you tie him up and run your hands along his body or stimulate him with sex toys. However, he doesn't take kindly to being edged for a long time because he gets impatient and frustrated easily for being denied. The next day, he'll cook a super spicy dish full of foods you dislike and makes you eat it as revenge, or he'll edge you to oblivion the next time you have sex.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Jiaoqiu has two modes depending on who is in control. If he’s dominating, he’ll have better control of his voice and will let out grunts and soft moans. He also talks a lot, making teasing comments or talking dirty to rile you up.

If you’re dominating, he’ll be whinier. He lets out choked gasps, quiet hisses, and louder moans. Will also try to shake your control by responding with witty retorts to your teasing, but if you successfully maintain your authority, he’ll reluctantly submit and whine.

In either scenario, when he gets close to orgasm, his voice turns breathless and obtains a raspy quality, and he tends to call out your name.

Jiaoqiu is a huge fan of hearing your voice. Even if you're the quiet type, he does his best to make you moan louder because he loves hearing you feel good. If you moan his name, it riles him up so much that he has to resist the urge to cum on the spot. He really loves hearing you call his name in that wanton voice.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Jiaoqiu knows how to make aphrodisiacs. If anyone’s watched The Apothecary Diaries where Maomao made aphrodisiacs, it’s similar to that. Jiaoqiu makes chocolate or chocolate-covered fruit (or another kind of dessert if you’re not a chocolate fan) with aphrodisiac properties. He likes the idea of using aphrodisiacs to occasionally spice up your sex life, but he only gives them to you with your explicit awareness and consent. He would never sneakily give it to you.

Jiaoqiu can adjust the dosage and potency to make the aphrodisiac quick or slow acting, stronger or weaker, etc… depending on the kind of sex you’re looking to have. It’s so much fun to watch how your gaze clouds over and your behavior changes once the aphrodisiac kicks in. He loves seeing you needy for him, it’s a massive turn-on. Whether you pin him down and have your way with him or become a needy, pliant mess for him to do with as he pleases—either outcome is fun. He just loves feeling desired by you and making you crave his touch.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Has a slender cock with a slight upward curve and a couple of prominent veins along the underside. 11.5 cm (4.5 inches) in length and 10 cm (3.9 inches) in girth.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Jiaoqiu has a healthy sexual appetite and craves sex a few times a week. However, due to his busy life as Feixiao’s retainer and personal healer, he’s sometimes too drained to engage in lovemaking as often as he’d like. Still, he tries to squeeze in some intimate time with you 1-2 times a week. Even if they're not frequent, the sessions last a long time due to his love for foreplay, so it is usually enough to satisfy his needs.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he has nothing to attend to afterward, Jiaoqiu will help you clean up and then cuddle under the sheets. Even when he feels the pull of sleep, he resists it so he can enjoy the afterglow with you. During moments like these, he likes to chat about anything and everything, like how your day went, which dishes he plans to cook for you tomorrow, what hotpot place you should visit during a future date, the silly shenanigans he got up to with Feixiao and Moze that day, etc… it’s just a sweet time to catch up before you both succumb to sleep.

When settling in to sleep, Jiaoqiu likes to spoon. He’s fine with being the big or little spoon, though has a slight preference for big spoon because he likes burying his nose in your hair and smelling your scent. It’s comforting to him. If he senses you're about to fall asleep, he kisses your forehead and wishes you goodnight before hugging you closer and covering you with his tail.

He also lets you gently pet his ears or tail, finding the caresses soothing after a strenuous round of sex. If you’re gentle enough, your touch can relax and lull Jiaoqiu to sleep. Though it might be hard to tell he’s asleep at first glance due to the natural state of his closed eyes, his lack of verbal responses and slow, even breathing will give him away.

#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #star rail x reader #jiaoqiu x reader #jiaoqiu x female reader #jiaoqiu x reader smut

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remidyal · 5 months

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Open Questions as we head into a massive lore drop tomorrow with the new episode, along with my best guesses as to the answers. Warning: Long post.

1) Who did Kalina have the spy's tongue curse with?

The most popular (and most likely, in my opinion) theory here is that it's Jace and/or Porter, who Ragh saw the night of Prompocolypse. The players at the table seem to think it's connected directly to Bakur and/or Lydia; however, Kalina DID say the name Lydia Barkrock during Spring Break to Riz.

There's some slight weirdness in the timeline around Aelwyn helping with the Spy's Tongue Curse in that the implication of her answer for when she was helping with it would be after she was arrested ('the end of freshman year going into that summer' when Aelwyn was arrested in early March) but it's not the first time the timeline around those events has been fucked and it probably won't be the last.

2) What's Jace's deal? Also, 2a) What's Porter's deal?

As of the end of episode 16, we can pretty safely say he was at SOME point killed and brought back via a deal with Ankarna. It's been pointed out that in Freshman Year his art did not cover his chest with the scarf; I'm not taking that as definitive evidence of anything, because that's the kind of retcon that can easy be explained away.

Jace and Porter did not seem to be on super friendly terms when Riz overheard them the first day of school freshman year, but by the end of the year, the night of Prom, they're on closer terms. Ragh, after the fight at Prom but inside of the school, sees Arianwen and Jace talking to someone he cannot at that point see, almost certainly Kalina. Later - it's not really clear HOW much later - Jace and Porter found Ragh, and Porter did some 'barbarian healing stuff' that presumably included a blood transfusion, because Ragh then CAN see Kalina and is threatened into silence by her.

It's quite clear to me from this that both Jace and Porter carried the curse of Kalina, and I'm of the belief that they were fulfilling their end of whatever deal was going on between Kalina and them by helping her agent in the form of Arianwen get the Crown.

Now which of them is in charge, and what're their respective motivations? That's much more interesting and I think independant.

I saw a theory on here that I LOVE and now fully believe that Jace was, in fact, the sorcerer in Lydia's party, and after dying to Bakur he took the deal to come back and is working for Ankarna. How truly willing he or any of the others who took that deal are at this point is another question. This is speculation, but it's really good speculation. This would obviously mean Jace was corrupted well before freshman year, but I don't actually think that's a problem.

Porter's more interesting, and I'm fully not certain which of the two are in charge, if either is, though my own speculation is that Porter is the primary driver. Jace clearly got him to help with Ragh because Porter would know Ragh and could easily infect him with Kalina; why they didn't kill him is an interesting question, though it may be as simple as Arthur Aguefort was back alive at that point and the death of one of the students who fought Kalvaxus wouldn't be a quiet matter. Still, Porter pushes rage as an almost religious matter, we do not know the nature of his own Paladin Oath, and his behavior towards Fig to push her away from Cassandra leads me to think he's a true believer sort who's in this willingly, not a revived pawn like Jace or the Ratgrinders appear to be.

3) What exactly happened to the Ratgrinders in the Mountains of Chaos?

I do not believe they all died there, for the simple reason that Lucy died in the Farhaven Woods. I think it's much more likely that either Jace targeted Kipperlilly specifically as the most fertile ground for rage and then it spread from there, or if the above speculation about Jace is wrong and he's also a more recent pawn that some thing terrible happened to SOME of them there. The details on this are really important to see, to me - there's a version of this story where Kipperlilly died willingly for the power it would bring, for example. I think this is one where we're VERY likely to get answers this episode.

4) What are the Ratgrinders using the Devil's Necter for?

I strongly believe all the stuff about modified memories is a red herring, though maybe it explains some odd behaviors here and there: I think they're using it to lie to gods. My own wild theory this was first used by LUCY to lie to her own god in prayer and get Ankarna's name from her by claiming they had already broken through Oblivati Mori, so why not share some information about the sister you loved so much? And then the guilt of having done this, and maybe even seeing some sort of backlash onto her god, is what led her to back out of whatever bits of the plan she had gone along with to that point for Kipperlilly's sake.

5) Why does Kipperlilly need to be principal?

I don't exactly believe that the Ratgrinders are looking for a long term senior year sort of situation; Kipperlilly being student body president and thus principal is the key to something within the bylaws.

The most likely thing to me here is that we don't yet have the details we'd need to answer why on this one.

The funniest callback sort of answer is that she needs to be principal in order to remove Watches and Wards from the library, which is supposed to prevent divine summonings on school grounds. It's stated in freshman year that only the Elven Oracle or Arthur Aguefort can remove the book, but this may well be Arthur Aguefort in his role as Principal rather than being tied to Arthur himself. Certainly Adaine wasn't likely to repeat her own mistake, at least. Also, potentially, this would be why they couldn't just change the bylaws for their endgoal directly instead of going through the election - the knockout enchantment on Watches and Wards is on the book, not part of the school bylaws. In any case, this could potentially be tied in to my guess on six, which is…

6) What's the overall plan here?

The overall plan, I think, is to bring Ankarna back fully to life during graduation in the gym, a place where a god (if a shitty one) was born. Elmville will be prepared for proper worship with the rage from the infections through the tree, etc, to provide enough worship to bring Ankarna in her current form back.

7) Who was the imposing figure who revived Buddy Dawn?

Very possible answers to this question are either a true form of some kind for Jace or Porter, some kind of Avatar of Ankarna (especially since they were not on the material plane, though it seems likely this figure was also involved for Yolanda or Lucy), some corrupted form for Kipperlilly, or some other servant of Ankarna. We really don't have enough to know.

8) What's going on with Bucky Applebees?

I think he's going through a crisis of faith similar to Kristen's, but just what kind of answers he might be reaching we really don't have enough to say. It wouldn't surprise me if the Ratgrinders have tried recruiting him in some way, however; it's a good way to hurt Kristen.

9) What, exactly, was the nature of Cassandra and Ankarna's relationship? Were they still together when Ankarna fell or when Cassandra became the Nightmare King? Were they actually on good terms?

I think these are possibly answers we're getting this week, and also I think there's a good chance that Ankarna and Cassandra had LONG since fallen out before Cassandra's rebirth as the Nightmare King. Did Ankarna blame her wife for Sol's followers stealing and killing hers? Did Cassandra see her wife turning more violent and less thoughtful out of desperation? Cassandra fell in one move of betrayal, we know, her followers convinced over her pleading that to know her name was heretical - and, for what it's worth, in the form she changed to the leaders of those followers were most certainly punished for their turning on their goddess. Ankarna's seems to have been far more gradual.

10) Can Ankarna actually be restored to her original form and domain, and is that a good idea to begin with, FIG?

We'll seeeeee. There's something profoundly interesting in the nature of gods in Spyre; they need the followers much more than the followers need them, for all their power. Spreading your religion makes your god healthier, but it also makes it so that you personally have a lot less control over the shape that belief takes. We've been told repeatedly that a single follower is all a god needs to stay alive, but clearly they need more than that to come to life to begin with, or to be reborn - not everybody has Kristen's spark of divinity, it seems.

11) Can Lucy be revived slash can any of the Ratgrinders be saved?

Maybe. As always in Fantasy High, what happens depends to a very large degree on what the players want to do, and what the dice agree to. I DO think we'll see Lucy be brought back, even if just in an epilogue.

#fhjy #fhjy spoilers #speculation #rat grinders #jace stardiamond #porter cliffbreaker #dimension 20 #fantasy high #ankarna #cassandra

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yukidragon · 3 months

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You ever consider bringing back slasher couple Alice and Jack? I think about them a lot.

New hotels on the run, with a dead couple lying on the floor of their new room. Poisoned yogurts for rude customers at a new job. New fertilized forget-me-nots behind a picket fence with the bodies of a man who tried hitting on Alice.

That sort of thing.

I'm happy you enjoyed the Slasher AU so much! Those are some pretty fun and twisted ideas you have for it~! I haven't touched on this one for a while, but after listening to this really good Jeff the Killer rewrite by Pastra, I'm in a pulpy creepypasta killer kind of mood, so let's play a little, shall we?

Content Warnings: there will be talk of sex and violence like a good old classic 80's slasher film. I likely won't go too explicit on the gore, but maybe the spice if the mood takes me. This post is just an excuse to talk about two very twisted individuals being in love as they indulge in their darker desires.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

As you might recall from my previous post on the topic, the tale of Alice and Jack in this universe is a twist on the classic slasher movie formula. Main character and "final girl" Alice winds up being corrupted to give in to her darker impulses by Jack, who has already fallen to his inner depravity after decades being trapped in hell.

The story ended with all of Jack's rivals and targets of revenge dead and LambsWork Productions burned to the ground. What's left now?

Why, help his sunshine finish getting her revenge while they hide from the authorities of course.

Yes, there were awful customers and co-workers ripe for the picking, as well as a shameless exploitive boss, but Alice has been bullied all her life. She has a list of people who she's wanted revenge on for a long time, and Jack has encouraged her to get that revenge no matter how long it takes.

This means that even people who long since forgot the kid they used to bully in kindergarten have a target on their backs.

And they deserve it, in Jack's not so humble opinion. Anyone who tries to hurt or steal his sunshine deserves to pay. Alice had to deal with the scars for so long, and he knows what it's like to suffer for years and years haunted by the memory of abusers who got off scot free.

As far as everyone is aware, Alice was among the many victims of the mysterious killer that swept through the area. Even her family believes that she's dead, but it's for the best. They're innocent. Alice stayed away from them after moving out because she was afraid of hurting them. It would be so easy to kill someone so defenseless as a family who loves and trusts her...

Jack nurtures his twisted justifications for these sadistic urges in Alice. It's deemed acceptable to slowly skin someone begging for their life if they were guilty of casual cruelty to either of them. It helps keep guilt at bay and warps their perception of reality.

With Alice's knowledge of modern technology and how things have changed, and Jack silver tongue capable of manipulating most people, the pair are difficult for authorities or anyone else trying to stop them to track.

Of course, after the final battle with Shaun at LambsWork, Alice needed to take time to heal from her injuries... or perhaps a little bit more than that.

In classic horror movie twist, the monster survived at the end. Jack had managed a ritual to bring himself back... and imagine how much worse he would be mentally if he had to bring back Alice as well.

Shaun was fighting for his life after all. It came down to him or Alice, who he was sure was the killer. Kill or be killed, and if Jack didn't manage to save her in time...

I'm reminded of the now sadly removed trailer for the game where Shaun is losing it, saying what he's doing feels wrong. Imagine if he got enough evidence to suspect Alice of being the killer, and caught hints of something dangerous and supernatural around her. Imagine his paranoia and fear ramping up to the point that he's scared of her, convinced that she's possessed by some great evil.

Imagine how much it would hurt Alice if this happened before she had fallen under the sway of Jack's temptations.

Being betrayed by a friend certainly could push anyone over the edge....

Then again, being stalked by an ex-boyfriend or a customer can also be enough of a tipping point to commit violence. It'd just be especially personal to have Shaun "betray" her after all he did for her when Ian betrayed her by cheating on her. Who can Alice even really trust?

Why, Jack, of course~! He certainly proves it by using the same ritual that allowed to come back to life to bring her back as well. Fortunately this ritual goes a lot better than the one Alice performs in the Bad End AU. She gets to come back whole and healthy with a new lease on life.

Everyone believes Alice is dead, there were even witnesses who saw her broken lifeless body.

Man... imagine if Shaun actually did somehow survive the incident at LambsWork and how much trauma he would have from killing Alice, as well as all the deaths that happened around him. It'd be worse if he realized that Jack was influencing her and was the true serial killer only after he had been forced to act. Who would ever believe him that a ghost was the true killer? There were witnesses who saw Alice already dead while the killings were still happening. She was just another innocent victim...

Though, really, if Shaun did manage to kill Alice, Jack wouldn't have let him live. Jack would've lost his ever loving mind seeing his sunshine, dead and lifeless, her beautiful warm life snuffed out before his eyes.

Of course, Shaun could have somehow managed to escape. Jack wouldn't be thinking clearly in that situation, which would make him sloppy, leaving openings for Shaun to exploit and believe he managed to somehow defeat Jack.

Gosh, there are so many possibilities with this AU, so many twists in the slasher horror movie formula to take.

If Shaun did survive that awful night, he'd be struggling with major PTSD, terrified that Jack will return to finish the job.

Of course, if Shaun survived, that just means that after Jack brings his sunshine back to life, they'll both be plotting ways to get sufficient revenge on Shaun.

Alice would have the supernatural slasher powers now too, similar to Jack - undead and dangerous. She would have an axe to grind, being betrayed by her best friend who murdered her.

Jack, ever sensitive to his sunshine's needs, would of course help her burning desire for revenge. He would certainly have plenty of ideas on how to prolong Shaun's suffering to appropriately punish him for murdering Alice.

So the sequel movie could either be Shaun having to deal with people around him getting killed and taunts from supernatural slashers, or just a romp of a road trip with Jack and Alice going around to settle old scores. It all depends if Shaun survives the first movie or not. Poor guy is in for an awful time either way.

Since I'm starting to feel bad for picking on Shaun for just trying to make it out alive, let's switch over to other slasher targets the twisted couple go after.

I loved the fertilizer idea, but since Alice is the one with more experience gardening, I think she's the one more likely to come up with that idea. She can use the bodies of people who hit on Jack. There'll be plenty of those to keep her flowers healthy forever. Jack is such a handsome man after all, and so many people lust after him now that he has a living body again.

Jack kind of finds it kind of cute that Alice gets so crazy jealous over him. She's so silly thinking anyone could steal him away from her. As if that could ever happen. He always makes sure to reassure her with sweet words and lovemaking after she's vented her frustration on her perceived rival.

I imagine Jack would also find it pretty sexy. Nothing turns a psycho on like watching his lover torture someone for the sake of keeping him all to herself~

Jack understands how Alice feels of course. He goes crazy when someone sets their sights on her. She doesn't even notice when someone flirts with her most of the time, but he still hates it. Mentally destroying the culprit before killing them in creative ways is cathartic for him. It's also a way he can show Alice just how much he loves her~!

If Alice did die, Jack's overprotectiveness would crank up a lot. He failed to protect her, his irreplaceable sunshine. It was fortunate that he could bring her back, just like he brought himself back, but he was forced to see her body, lifeless, broken. He was forced to live with the fear that she was gone for good.

Jack is a lot more possessive and handsy with Alice in public after that. He'll carry her around a lot more often, feeling secure having his sunshine in his arms. He takes the lead with their kills, making sure that he's the one taking the risks instead of her, so that nothing can happen to her ever again.

Of course, Alice doesn't like Jack risking himself recklessly. She wants them both to be together forever~

To the people around them, Jack is an incredibly clingy boyfriend. One minute the new neighbors are talking with Alice, the next Jack is wrapped around her from behind, whining that he missed her as he nuzzles his face into her hair. Even though he was just moving boxes into the house only a literal minute ago.

Alice laughs fondly at Jack's antics before squeaking in surprise as he picks her up into his arms. She admonishes him, but without any real weight to it, and tries to wrap up the conversation, flustered. Jack is fine chatting with the new neighbors like this though.

Why, yes, they are crazy for each other, and are very happy together. Thanks for noticing~!

The pair seem so wholesome and sweet, almost sickeningly sappy. Jack is so silly and such a sucker for Alice that even his size, build, and tattoos aren't enough to make people feel intimidated by him for long. He's so gosh darn friendly, and Alice is so cute and easily flustered.

They are sappy even in private too... even in less than wholesome circumstances.

I got this image of the pair in a room, maybe in their home maybe elsewhere. After having finished a long, busy night, the two are in the bathroom getting cleaned up. Alice sits on the counter, carefully shaving the stubble from Jack's face as he savors the attention. They have a sweet and silly conversation, but annoying noises from the other room keep interrupting them.

Halfway through the shave, Alice snaps the razorblade free and throws it into the other room, resulting in a muffled scream. She feigns as though it was an accident, that she merely "slipped" because all the noise from their guest distracted her. Jack chuckles and remarks they probably shouldn't keep their guest waiting anymore.

However, as Jack turns to go take care of things, Alice catches him by the chin and gently turns him back to her, cooing that they can wait until she's done taking care of him. Jack just melts at her insistence to take care of him and cheerfully tells their guest that they're just going to have to be patient a bit longer~!

Alice adds too that she has plenty of fresh razor blades to get the job done, a subtle threat of what will happen if the noises continue. With that she goes back to finishing the shave with a fresh razor blade and making Jack feel so loved and understood.

Overall, the vibe of these two would be like a more twisted Gomez and Morticia. They're as sweet on each other as they are in Sunshine in Hell, but only to each other. With everyone else the kindness is fake, and they've lost the ability to care about the suffering of anyone but each other.

Slasher Alice and Jack don't target at random, but their criteria for targets does involve a lot of disproportionate retribution. The neighbors are safe as long as they remain friendly... but not too friendly.

Alice and Jack are not just slashers, they're also very, very yandere for each other. Woe be it to anyone who tries to separate them.

Really, it's fitting that Jeff the killer would fuel this ramble considering this sort of slasher couple self-indulgence would fit right into the creepypasta OC craze. This AU is basically all about a couple of fucked up killers finding joy in taking brutal, bloody revenge. Victims are not people but toys to play with until they break. It's very creepypasta OC-coded.

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #Slasher AU

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scriptlgbt · 2 months

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Hey, I have a character in my story, ftm trans, and I read that a lot of trans men never stop taking T, once they start. But I also read that a lot of the changes (if not all) coming from T will not change back if the ovaries are not present/active anymore. So now I‘m wondering: is it true that most trans men take T for their whole lives, and would it be realistic if my MC still took T around 20 years after his transition and everything? Or would it be more realistic if he had stopped?

To answer the main questions first:

It is definitely realistic and normal for someone to continue to take T their entire lives. The effects of T are ongoing, many being reversible and changing, like the effects of any hormone that runs through our endocrine (hormone) systems.

If someone stopped taking T but still had ovaries, it is typical that this would be similar to the effects of a trans woman taking estrogen, only, a bit of a longer path to get there. A lot of the things that estrogen will not change for trans women who have already gone through a testosterone-dominant puberty, will also be similar to what permanent changes occur for those who initially had an estrogen-dominant puberty, then took testosterone, then stopped taking testosterone. There are some things that are variable (like fertility, which is very understudied for trans people in general) but the gist is pretty similar. Things like skin texture, fat redistribution, libido, etc, are often very impermanent. Voices can deepen, but they don't necessarily go back without other interventions. A lot of body parts may grow but not shrink to the same degree.

If someone stopped taking T but did not have any estrogen-producing part of their endocrine system, it is typical that they will still need hormones. Going without either T or estrogen can be really exhausting. (Fun fact though: your body odour is pretty much stinkless, or so I've heard.)

I wish there were any concrete guide I could recommend that lists permanent and impermanent changes to give you a better idea of this, but all the ones I've come across are a bit off. (Like saying that taking hormones makes you infertile. It can make you less fertile, but that doesn't mean it's reliable birth control, and should not be used as such.) Your best bet is to look up as many as you can and compare and contrast the common ones, and google any that vary or are left out of some but not others.

More of a general point:

I think a major thing that a lot of people gloss over is that "transition" is not some before and after thing. There is no set, universal, beginning and end to it. There are many, many moving parts to it, that change dramatically between individuals. Someone could have socially transitioned 13 years ago but have an 88 year old grandmother who supports them but doesn't fully get it because grandma never got internet, and they're okay with that because she's 88 and terminally ill and they know the love is there. (This hypothetical is about me.)

Someone could want to go on hormones for just enough to get a few of the permanent changes they wanted and then go off of it because they enjoy the weight distribution of estrogen.

In far too great numbers, there are also people who go off of hormones because they no longer have access for some reason. Poverty, moving and not being able to find a new doctor, testosterone being a listed controlled substance, supply issues, pharmacists who "lost" the prescription (multiple times), dosage issues, Trans Broken Arm Syndrome, dealing with health issues in the reproductive system that cis doctors have no experience with, inability to access clean and appropriately sized syringes, needles, and a sharps bin, not being able to do injections after insurance stopped covering the gel or the patches, etc. (I have personally experienced most of these.)

Any kind of gender transition is not uniform. It is a mix and match to figure out what feels right for the person doing it. Sometimes external factors like discrimination and poverty can limit what is possible for us, and that sucks. But what we choose as far as names, pronouns, surgeries, hormones, all of that, is ours.

Everyone is different.

-mod nat

#mod nat #trans #trans characters #hormones #hrt #medical #medical transition

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dollivication · 28 days

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Hiyo again! After your reply to my ask thing I just had to write back telling you that you are so sweet and omg I lauv yu tooooo (◕‿◕✿) I love the way you talk its so silly and fun to read personally. Also, i'm TERRIBLE with laiiik, writing stuff. I used to be good at it but ehhh.... but TODAY!!! I was inspired Yan Vergil with a new partner who gets on really well with Nero, he absolutely adores the fact you get on with his son because he wants to have a family with his little darling (although he may feel a little jelly if you get on TOO well with Nero hehe) He brings up the idea of starting a family with his darling and they don't want to ∑(; °Д°) so of course, he tries to convince them because he never got to see Nero growing up and wants a second chance but they just won't budge. So every chance he gets, either when they're makin' lauv or when his darling is sleeping, he is absolutely nasty, horribly feral just- AGDHFHJHDJ h o t Everytime his darling confronts him about it he just gives them a smug grin like 'guess who threw out all your birth control~' and condoms? Ain't got 'em nowhere, he and Dante are Disgusting about making sure their loved ones are as dirty as them (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I hope this ain't too bad, i've got baby fever rn kinda and being bred by a Sparda boiii is my dreeeam

OHMHYGOODNESS HAI HALLOOOO WELCOME BACK ^.^!!!! aweewesradsggh ur literawy so nice omlh… I LET OUT A GIGGLE READING THIS i cannot thnak yu enoug…. ❤️❤️ AND IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU DECIDED TO SHARE THIS THOUGHT W ME IM BUZZING !!!1!1!

THIS IS ACTUALLY SPLENDID ZONTTT SAY ORHERWISE!!! i lauv yan vergil so badlllhyyyyy.//… especially when he has a breeding kink… nobody can tell me he doesn’t…. i was literally kicking my legs reading this hessoooo NASTAY mwaaaammhh

VERGIL WANTS TO TRY BEING A DAD AGAIN,, PROPERLY!! i bump this agenda.. he feels pretty guilty about not having been there for nero,, and being the same one to cause his son pain w/o even having been aware (◞‸◟)… PLEEEAASE let him have a second chance omgggffdeehjh

is absolutely befuddled when yu say no… laik uhm. ok he wasn’t asking LMFAO but he doesn’t clarify.. pretends to accept ur wishes while getting rid of damn well near every contraceptive!! makes u think u were just being sillay and simply misplaced your birth control. wasn’t him!!!! he totally didn’t toss it out >.<!

and if you refuse to have sex w him until condoms are involved??? fine, fine gosh.. he’ll bring them back in,,, with holes poked in them ofc IMCRYIMHJ

he’s so freakish that he actually keeps track of when ur ovulating… todays your most fertile day?? best believe he’s pumping his cock into you for hours straight and filling your tummy up with his seed :3 mating press all the way!! ur kids will look so cute once his cum actually takes!

aeha…imsoooo sane abt yan breeding kink vergilll…,,,

#dolly thinks

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genericpuff · 2 years

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What’s your opinion on the titans designs in lo

i swear to christ i was watching attack on titan when i read this question and did a double take like holy shit am i gonna get to gush about AOT????

okay but to answer the ACTUAL question, I actually have um... some interesting takes on them.

First off, for starters. Helios. Pretty neat. I know he's just yellow Zeus but he's big and he's sassy and I wish we could see more of him.

Kronos was cool until RS turned him into an MCU villain.

Gaia I'm sort of indifferent on... she really doesn't have any sort of real role in the story beyond being some Avatar McGuffin. Her original design was badass but then ofc, as all things go in LO, RS dumbed her design down and now she looks just like another Persephone clone.

Rhea was great when she first appeared but, again, Persephone clone. I don't like the recent retcon/establishment that the fertility goddesses need to experience love to have their powers used because it casts some fucked up implications (beyond the obvious) when she begged Zeus to find Metis and "use her powers no matter the cost". If I had known at the time that was gonna turn into "Zeus had a relationship with Metis" I would have been a bit more like... yikes, Rhea.

And then there's Metis... oh boy, do I have some takes about Metis. Very personal ones.

So here's the thing. Metis is the name of the Greek god, yes. But it's... it's not what comes up when you search "Metis" on its own. Because there ALSO exists an Indigenous group of people in Canada called 'Métis'. And LO Metis' design is-

sigh yeah.

Now I know I'm gonna get people who are saying I'm "reading too much into it" but y'all. I'm Mi'kmaq. The Métis people come from the same regions my own ancestors do, my own family pretty much shares blood and land with them. I promise you, I'm not pulling any of this out of my ass, Metis' design stood out to me as soon as I saw it because her outfit really resembles the fringe that you find EVERYWHERE in Indigenous clothing, like we fucking LOVE FRINGE LOL (I've got a cape/poncho thing with loads of fringe that I whip out for special occasions) And the wings resemble a lot of the 'finger feathers' you see in Mi'kmaq, Maliseet, Cree, and yes, Métis art.

phew sorry I know Hephaestus is also drawn with a similar skin tone and Metis starts to veer off into flanderized colors with the bright orange like every other character in this comic, but it's just like... not a great combination.)

(*edit because I forgot to add: it also REALLY REALLY REALLY DOESN'T HELP that Metis is the ONLY TITAN designed with non-neon colors. Like, she's been explicitly drawn with darker orange/reddish tones that are OFTEN AFFILIATED WITH INDIGENOUS PEOPLE. THE SLUR 'REDSKIN' EXISTS FOR A REASON-

So... yeah. Take that with what you will. I'm not necessarily accusing RS of anything (because Metis being drawn like a Métis woman is like, the least of LO's problems) but at BEST she's just got some REAL shit Googling skills or like... didn't think anyone would notice? 😂

Either way that's... that's my (*probably biased) take on Metis. At the very least it does result in her having a way more interesting design than the others (who are basically just big color-swapped versions of Hades and Persephone) but IDK if that's a good thing when that design is in the hands of RS. She ruined Metis in the most recent episodes which is kinda lowkey even more insulting LMAO

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #antiloreolympus #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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verfound · 11 months

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MINIFIC: Oct. 23: Day 14: Mushroom (MLB, Lukanette, DLM AU)

For a brief moment – like the teeny tiniest of moments – I was considering the logistics of getting Mason to France and really having fun with ‘mushrooms’. It would have been very easy, actually, but…I couldn’t do that to Luka. I already stuck him with Dingo. 😂

For @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers October Minific Challenge 2023.

Read on Ao3

To Feel Alive Again: Ch14: Mushroom

“…I’m hungry,” Marinette said about halfway through the second movie. They had both agreed horror was…probably not the best option, and they had abandoned the DVDs to find something on a streaming service. He hadn’t really complained when she’d pulled up Finding Nemo. She hadn’t really crawled off of him yet, either, though her head was now resting on his shoulder instead of hiding in his chest. She hadn’t said anything about it yet, though, so he wasn’t going to, either. She peeked up at him, and he tried not to notice the way she was biting on her lip. “Are you hungry?”

“I could eat,” he said. “You brought popcorn, right?”

“I’m hungry,” she said. “For food, not snacks. Want a pizza? I’ll buy.”

His nose wrinkled.

“I’m not a big fan of pizza,” he said. Her eyebrows rose.

“Seriously? Everybody loves pizza,” she said. He chuckled and tugged on a pigtail. He wasn’t sure when his arm had moved around her shoulders, or when he’d started playing with her hair, but she hadn’t asked him to stop, so…

“I used to deliver pizzas,” he said. “When I was a kid. It was a lifetime ago, and I actually loved that job, but it turned me off pizza for life.”

“My papa used to make the best pizzas,” she said, sighing. “He grew his own toppings and everything. There was one summer he went a bit crazy and grew like fifteen different types of mushrooms. I don’t think I ate mushrooms for a year after that, but it was a pretty good pizza.”

“…ew,” Luka said, his nose wrinkling again. “I hate mushrooms.”

“Seriously?” she laughed, and he shrugged.

“They grow in shit,” he said. She laughed harder.

“Most things do,” she said. “It’s called fertilizer and it’s really good for plants.”

“It’s called bacteria and it stinks,” he said. She rolled her eyes and pushed away from him. He tried to tell himself he didn’t miss her weight and warmth against him.

“Ok, then, monsieur,” she said, lifting her arms above her head in a stretch. “What would you have me order, then?”

“…your ma’s Chinese, right?” he asked. She nodded, but she looked confused. “Any good Chinese places you won’t be personally offended by?”

She snorted and reached for her phone, pulling up a delivery app.

“Only if you order the crab Rangoon,” she snorted, looking up from phone. “That’s not Chinese, Luka.”

“Ok, ok,” he laughed, stretching himself before pushing himself up from the couch. “I need to hit the bathroom. Order what you want. Just, please, no mushrooms if you get pizza.”

He was down the hall and about to close the door on the bathroom when she called after him, and he almost smiled at the teasing note in her voice.

“Ok, no mushrooms – how do you feel about bananas?”

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bisluthq · 1 month

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Do you think LOT prolonged Harry and Olivia’s relationship? I think they would’ve tried to save face for DWD’s sake either way but it’s interesting to me bc she clearly enjoyed and made the effort to be seen at his shows almost every week and the madness of everything was tied up in the tour for a while. So much of the intensity of their relationship seemed to be born out of covid restrictions limiting them to the house and her fertility causing them to speed run some decisions. I can’t picture what a tl looks for them where lot doesn’t happen so they’re at home more or jason doesn’t pick a fight with custody. It’s weird to think about now because the harry pre dwd and post dwd/olivia seem like different people to me and I can’t imagine him in that situation now. for all the genuinely traumatising scrutiny that must’ve been and I assume heartbreak over losing olivia and subsequently taylor, I think having a serious relationship that was 100x less publicised than holivia and having tour probably helped him process and made him think a lot about his choices

when I said it was a bit traumatic I didn’t even mean the public side of it lol (that too obviously and escalated the whole situation for sure), I meant like dating a woman going through what was essentially a divorce that included a very horrible custody battle that involved two kids and a really nasty ex is a WHOLE LOT for anyone but especially someone in their late 20s/early 30s imo who hasn’t had that type of experience before. Like NO ONE has fun during custody battles/divorces but at least if you’ve had your own experiences with them it’s like “okay here’s what I did” but Harry hadn’t had any experience with that beyond being a child of divorce and seeing Ann’s divorce with John and then seeing Robin really step the fuck up for Gemma and him? And I just imagine, even outside like the celebrity side of it, that that would’ve been really difficult. I’m basically his age, am a child of divorce, have seen my mum divorce twice more lol, am not in principle averse to dating someone with kids (haven’t ever but not like because it’s a rule for me) and have an older partner but ngl if my partner were going through a custody battle while with me I’d be very fucking stressed and I think pretty useless with advice and wouldn’t even be the best at the moral support side because it’s just like… quite far out of the realm of my own experience. And I do get the sense that Harry was hella overwhelmed lol and also again partly because of how much he loved/loves Robin and respected Robin, he was trying to do the right thing for Olivia and the kids but also like he’s not yk old enough per se to be in that position.

I don’t know what their whole situation would’ve been in another life where she’d left Jason in a classy fashion and had obtained a normal parenting plan and then started dating Harry. And also what it would’ve been like without LOT and all the DWD drama that was unrelated to them/this. Like that would’ve been a completely different tl and maybe it would’ve worked better because they clearly got along grand for the most part and did really love each other and if things were chill from Jason’s end like I don’t think the kids would’ve been a problem at all. I don’t think Harry would’ve tried to replace him or anything as their dad but also would’ve tried to be a good stepfather figure.

the biological clock thing would still have been an issue just because like she realistically needs to have a kid in the next few years if she wants more bio kids - she can’t really wait another 8 years or anything - but they did seem legit open to kids together idk so again without Jason drama + all the other crap then maybe it would’ve worked out. It didn’t.

and I agree the Taylor thing was healthier and probably helped him work through a few of the issues he’d built up over the past few years but clearly also didn’t work out and imo he should take it slow with the next girl and like see where things go and how they develop. Which again is why Olivia D or someone like her, who’s busy and not really in a rush to marry/have kids etc, would imo be a really good idea. He needn’t stay single but I also don’t think he should move in with someone and/or start talking rings and cradles in the next year or so lol. He should just chill for a bit.

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56kilobits · 2 years

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Anti-Booba

I don’t normally write screeds now-a-days (I used to, ages ago), but there is a very anxiety-inducing server migration coming up and it’s got me stressing, so this is essentially a distraction, or a procrastination, or some combination of the two. --- When people talk about AI (which they do a lot, lately), it’s often not just about AI. AI becomes a symbolic representation of either what is very wrong or very right in the world, the messianic or apocalyptic technology that will either usher in a golden age of economic freedom via Pure Unfettered Capitalism Baby, or a nightmare cyberpunk (in the 80s manner, not where it got retconned into a cool thing) dystopia where all creative work is done by high-performance clusters in a server farm in Argentina, also via Pure Unfettered Capitalism Baby. When in reality it’s a computer doing a Google image search for your assorted prompts and cobbling them together into a picture that vaguely resembles something a human would willingly look at. GPT2 is, due to the relative linearity of language, much better at composing something human, occasionally spitting out something pretty damn funny, but ultimately there is no human spark here. It’s all just a computer making guesswork as to how best to fulfill your request. Which brings me to this fuckin’ guy (said in a thick Chicago accent).

Where to start with this shit. Let’s go with the first two words. “AI has [...]” is doing a lot of work here. This particular phrasing leads a more uninformed reader to assume this man sat down in front of a computer and asked it, simply, to produce a “beautiful woman”, much in the same way you’d ask it to give you Tane. When in reality, what happens is he spent maybe 2-3 hours (depending on the capabilities of his hardware) punching in keywords into an increasingly massive Stable Diffusion prompt to get the specific kind of “beautiful woman” he wanted it to generate for him.

So, AI by itself didn’t do much here. You told the AI you wanted Z cup breasts, and by golly it gave them to you. The second part is best explained given the context of the following tweets in his thread.

Can you pick up what’s being implied here?

If it’s going over your head, I’ll make it explicit: this man has confused his porn addiction with reality.

Let me explain.

As soon as humans were able to create art, the first thing they did was create boobs. For going on thousands of years without ceasing, every culture has been passionate about depicting hot women with their tits out. Mostly for religious purposes, but keep in mind that “secularism” is a modern concept.

You’ll notice in all these cultures, from Western European painting, to Greco-Roman statuary, to Indus Valley temple freizes, nowhere do the boobs hit past a C cup. I thought men loved enormous knockers? No, for most of human history having F cups or above was like, inconceivable. F cups are a direct, like, straight-line consequence of chemical fertilizer. Modern science, specifically in the form of agronomy and nutrition science, is the reason we have big boobs at all.

Basically what I’m saying is, if you showed a Hindu manuscript painter some hentai with logic-defying gazongas, he would look at you dead in the eye and say, “Are you high? That’s not what women look like. That’s not beautiful.”

That’s the weeds we’re getting into: is beauty subjective? And to find the answer, we can look in the historical record and see, yeah, it is subjective.

The elephant in the room here, though, is the actual point of these images. Women with large breasts, the OP claims, are the ideal of beauty. Sure. But these aren’t just large breasts.

Obviously the first thing here is OP totally denying he had any hand at all in the creation of these images, again making the assertion he told the computer to give him a beautiful woman. And of course all the replies asking him to post the prompt are going ignored, because he would have to admit to his role, and we can’t have the audience looking behind the curtain, can we.

(I would post more quotes but this dipshit’s wielding of reductive logic and “I am right, because you’re mad” is going to give me a brain bleed. Truly one of Western Civilization’s finest defenders)

These aren’t real women. They are “beautiful” to you, but they’re not real breasts on a real human female. They can’t be real, either, because it’s biologically impossible for breasts to look that way. Real human female breasts are heavy, from fat and mammary tissue and (sometimes) sacs of saline, and the way gravity affects them will lead to something markedly less perky and supple and dough-like, they way they’re depicted here.

To get boobs like that they’d have to be filled with - and I am not being absurd here - literal marshmallow fluff.

They’re calling you a porn addict, dude, because the only other place you can see boobs like this is in hentai.

Post the prompt.

---

There’s one last thing to touch on, one point you see come up time and time again when 3DPD vs 2D comes up. It’s the idea that the topic of the day, the new “thing”, is going to somehow “disrupt female sex hegemony”. Women will no longer control access to sex, they say. Men will be freed from the nagging bitches who make them take out the trash instead of just being the subservient blowjob dispensers they were designed to be.

Finally, freedom for men from the tyranny of the fairer sex!

You can say a lot of words in response to this, and in fact many people already have, which I will not repeat for brevity’s sake, but ultimately, who really gives a shit? You’re excited to not have to date anymore and just use AI sex dolls? That’s great man. Happy for you.

The relative percentage of men who have no interest in being tied down to some cunty bitch wife and would rather have their needs fulfilled by a computer with a moist hole, vs the percentage of men who want a real woman to build a life with, will not change. Maybe single digit percentage points, but not meaningfully. Even with petabytes of internet porn available, men still seek out real women for the tangible and intangible qualities they have. If this “disruption” was going to happen, it... already has.

You’re allowed to have your preference for 2D women, but you have to admit, it’s pretty liberal and modernist (yuck!) to eschew forming a family unit and continuing your bloodline to live in decadence, just you and the women your tensor GPU spits out for your pleasure.

#ai

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jooldidyoueatmysandwich · 2 years

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Letter to 2015

hello.

No, no, let me start again.

Hello.

I know you wanted to see me and I know you don't like what you're seeing.

I know I'm not what you expected, what you wanted me to be, I'm not what I wanted to be either, but then again, we have both always been so bad at figuring out what that is, right? So it's not so bad.

You want to ask me about college, about work, and I show you empty typewriter hands. You cry. I know, I know it hurts. It hurt the first time they said no, and it hurts now that you're trying so hard to make it yes, and it was yes. For seven long years, it was a resounding yes. And then I screwed it up. You scream if it was all for naught, you're convinced it was before I even open my mouth to say no, it wasn't, those were the best seven years of my life, that in 2016 when they asked me "the four worst years, or the six best?" you listed out, confused: 2003, 2008, 2013 and 2014.

I'm sorry I screwed up the only thing you were ever sure you wanted. I wasn't so sure.

I want to tell you that your dreams are real. That you've felt alone in your mind for years, an incomplete unsolved puzzle, but they're real. You're not alone, you've just been lonely. Maybe you shouldn't fall in love with the first boy who wants to hear your story but do it anyway, even if it hurts us. Steer clear of the long distance relationships unless they touched you first. Eat the first Geiger counter you see, and don't ignore the constant beeping, that warning of toxic radioactivity, for anyone, not even yourself. Stop waiting for the right moment, happiness can be patient but it's also ever-present, it's already there, waiting for you to reach for it, to work for it, to take it, grab it despite your own blood under your nails, take it and never let go, bite into it until it's dry. Your dreams are real. You're going to find yourself, your father, your strength inside these years. You're going to find the loves of your lives outside of it.

You hear me speak of love and you ask me about the ones you know now. If someday, she's going to notice how you look at her hands, if any day the memories will fade, if at any point it's going to hurt less to hear him calling you "sister".

She didn't notice it, but others did. The most beautiful upperclassman I ever saw was just shorter than me, with curves like a fertility goddess, hair curls so tight they could spiral a textbook, and a fire in her voice only the leader of the black feminist student council could have. She wanted me, and you didn't know what to do with that much woman, so I let her go. But she noticed it.

The memories are still slowly fading, and I'm sorry, but you must know. I thought they were rose colored glasses. I thought it was too pretty to be true, so it must have been a lie. They told you, "you'll always be one of us", and I took it as a threat. To this day, it tastes vile in my mouth to say it. I burned your diary. I stole away the son of the soldier you wrote so carefully, with so much love poured into her, so much devotion, and I turned him bitter. But he's learning to love again.

And it does hurt less. I say less because it's not all gone, it's just changed. It hurts that he calls me sister, and you wish he called you love, but I want him to call me brother.

I can see that double-take, yes. Brother. I wouldn't be so surprised then, but I know you are now. A part of you is happy, but most of you asks me if it's a punishment. If I didn't like you that much. I said I still don't, but it's no punishment. I'm just trying to make things right for me, you be damned. You're past. You're the foundation of everything, rotten columns and all, but you're not the entire building.

I'm sorry you won't ever see your name in news headlines over the latest Nobel prize. But if it makes it any better, I won't see mine either.

You never thought about me, so it should be only fair, but I'm sorry I forgot you.

I'm not ready to go, you say. I'll take you, I say. And I hope one day you can forgive me that it's not the path you wanted.

With all my heart,

2023.

#tq #tales of kucinski #fifth #newton

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lastchanceflash · 23 days

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► GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Eugene Thompson

ALIAS: Agent Venom

AGE: 23

DATE OF BIRTH: 4/17/2001

ALSO KNOWN AS: Flash, SpideyNo1Fan

IDENTITY: Masked

CURRENT TEAM(S): Solo/US Military

OTHER AFFILIATIONS: US Army, MIT (Formerly, (SHIELD Maybe?)

MULTIVERSE ORIGIN: Prime

SNAP STATUS: NA

HOMETOWN: Forest Hills, Queens

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Somewhere in Queens idk

CURRENT OCCUPATION: Military scientist, test subject, and weapon

PAST OCCUPATION(S): Lab Tech contractor for US Army, Student

GENDER IDENTITY: Male

SEXUALITY: Not Sure yet but he gives straight vibes

NATIONALITY: American

ETHNICITY: I’d say Guatemalan like the FC

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Tony Revolori

HEIGHT: 3’8”, 5’6” (formerly), 6’2” (Agent Venom)

HAIR COLOR: Black

EYE COLOR: Black

ACCENT: Standard American

SCARS: Diagonal Scar Across Face, amputation scars, burns on legs

TATTOOS: None

RECOGNIZABLE FEATURES: Amputated legs, facial scarring

► BACKGROUND

FINANCIAL STATUS: Given enough to keep food and booze in his fridge but not much else.

EDUCATION LEVEL: Some College at MIT

SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): English

RELIGION: Agnostic, raised Catholic

CONVICTION(S): Was temporarily incarcerated for the MIT lab explosion

► RELATIONS

FATHER: Harrison Thompson: A very successful and intelligent business man. To the public he’s known as a loving father, passionate, and successful. “Image is everything” as he would always say. Everything needed to be perfect and in its proper place. His cars, home, and appearance were always kept to the highest of standards; at least in public. After a long day of work he was known to come home and drink away his stress, with expensive scotch after expensive scotch. Before long he’d forget about keeping up appearances oe maintaining the perfect life and take out his frustrations on his family. It would always start verbal but it would always escalate from there. Flash became the main focus of this as he reminded him too much of himself, or as he would say, “How can you remind me so much of myself but be such a failure.”

He finally started cutting Flash some slack once he got into MIT, but after being expelled and getting injured he was dead to him.

MOTHER: Rose Thompson: She was a nice enough woman but her marriage slowly wore her down into being a husk of her former self. So much of her time and effort was spent trying to stay on her Husband’s good side that she eventually gave up on trying to defend her son. She would tell him to just shut up and keep his nose down. Tell him to not make his father mad. To listen to his father.

SIBLINGS: Jessica Thompson: Flash’s little sister. She’s nice, sweet, smart, and innocent. She’s about ten years younger than him. She was labeled a miracle child due to fertility issues with their parents. With that title also came favoritism. She was the perfect child to their parents, and was treated substantially better by their father. Always being praised for being pretty, smart, and talented. He didn’t resent her for it, but he’d be lying if he said seeing it didn’t hurt. She’s the one he misses the most since he’s been estranged.

EXTENDED FAMILY: Not close to anyone in particular

BEST FRIEND: He’s never really had a best friend. He’s always been on the more popular time but his personality is ultimately for show. He needs to be perceived. He needs people to find value in him, see him as worthy in ways that his father never would. This has resulted in most of his friends only getting to know this shallow facade of who he is which has kept anyone from feeling close enough to become a true best friend to him.

ADVERSARY: Either his Dad or if we add Jack O Lantern to the plot him

PARTNER(S): No significant romantic partners, and none current

► EXTRA INFORMATION

HOROSCOPE: your answer here

JUNG TYPE: your answer here

ENNEAGRAM: your answer here

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good

VICE: Pride

VIRTUE:Diligence

► PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Cares about people even if he’s not good at showing it, strong will, smart, determined.

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Addictive personality, low self-esteem, temper

► ABILITIES / SKILLS / POWERS

Guns, depression, and Venom

#Flash Thompson Prine #heres a little extra background on this variant since I had to get creative with him!

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spoopydooblr · 1 year

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okay first off, ur username is hilarious i always have a lil giggle when i see it. spoopydoobler strikes again

second off, i love stella and Kendall, i think it’s really on brand that Kendall ends up in a semi-healthy, dysfunctional long term relationship with a 20-something actress. her young spirit but also self-awareness and (probably daddy issues?) is what kinda makes her stand out and stay with him even as he’s falling apart. Like after everything is over she kinda puts him back together but also pieces him back together in a mould that suits her and her lifestyle (dysfunctional relationship bby😘).

i also kinda like her role in that she’s a lurker, she’s kinda watching everything happen and has her own private moments with him so everyone has kinda already written her off as Kendall’s flavor of the month. but surprise she’s in it for the long haul bitchesssss. she’s getting that Roy money and they start a film production company that’s like the succession equivalent of A24.

could you imagine Kendall Roy at the oscars or golden globes that’d be pretty funny to see.

also i love that headcanon of babies, like it’s probably reallllllly far off in the future and i do agree with you i see both possibilities. i guess what i crave more is like domesticity.

also let me preface this as i love all the roy siblings but i want like a version where at least out of the three of them Ken (kinda not really) wins?!? or atleast doesn’t not have the worst fate (#rip my girl shiv)

anon, you make my heart swell! this is so thoughtful and sweet!! spoopydooblr is a suuuuuuper old tumblr name from when i was about 16! not sure why i chose it but here we are! :)

i dont wanna spoil my ideas for the ending of the show but yes, stella will be there to put ken back together again. thats what she does best, tbh. i also love how dysfunctional their relationship is, but at the same time, its really one of the most loving and successful relationships either of them has ever had.

the A24 comment is everythingggggg. i definitely envision stella and kendall starting either a production company to rival waystar studios OR i can see kendall getting into the music business too. either way, theyre in it together and make BANK. i think the sibs are underestimating stella too. they def see her as his flavor of the month (lol) but she is in this forever!

i just KNOW their first red carpet appearance is full of drama like twitter is fighting over whether theyre super cute or super creepy.

when it comes to the babies im thinking they get married a couple of years after the show ends (2026?) and since stella will be in her 30s and ken nearing 50 (wtf) they start fertility treatments pretty soon after. i also love the domesticity of it all and i know with ken out of waystar he actually will be a doting father. i think especially bc i imagine them with twins (fertility drugs increase the change of multiples) ken is like alllllll over stella and when the babies are born hes in complete shock. like one baby, sure, but TWO? hes so scared but theyre in it together and their girls grow up to love and respect their dad. (i think sophie and iverson would love having little siblings too!)

wow this is long but YES! ken needs a win and i think stella is the win he needs. especially with how shitty his ending is. i so wish i was in jesse's brain to create stella and have her in s4 for real, but alas i am just a twenty-something unemployed loser from the us.

again, thank you for this lovely message to wake up to! its messages like these that inspire me and keep me writing.

#kendall roy #kendall roy x oc #succession

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missmentelle · 4 years

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Why Smart People Believe Stupid Things

If you’ve been paying attention for the last couple of years, you might have noticed that the world has a bit of a misinformation problem.

The problem isn’t just with the recent election conspiracies, either. The last couple of years has brought us the rise (and occasionally fall) of misinformation-based movements like:

Sandy Hook conspiracies

Gamergate

Pizzagate

The MRA/incel/MGTOW movements

anti-vaxxers

flat-earthers

the birther movement

the Illuminati

climate change denial

Spygate

Holocaust denial

COVID-19 denial

5G panic

QAnon

But why do people believe this stuff?

It would be easy - too easy - to say that people fall for this stuff because they’re stupid. We all want to believe that smart people like us are immune from being taken in by deranged conspiracies. But it’s just not that simple. People from all walks of life are going down these rabbit holes - people with degrees and professional careers and rich lives have fallen for these theories, leaving their loved ones baffled. Decades-long relationships have splintered this year, as the number of people flocking to these conspiracies out of nowhere reaches a fever pitch.

So why do smart people start believing some incredibly stupid things? It’s because:

Our brains are built to identify patterns.

Our brains fucking love puzzles and patterns. This is a well-known phenomenon called apophenia, and at one point, it was probably helpful for our survival - the prehistoric human who noticed patterns in things like animal migration, plant life cycles and the movement of the stars was probably a lot more likely to survive than the human who couldn’t figure out how to use natural clues to navigate or find food.

The problem, though, is that we can’t really turn this off. Even when we’re presented with completely random data, we’ll see patterns. We see patterns in everything, even when there’s no pattern there. This is why people see Jesus in a burnt piece of toast or get superstitious about hockey playoffs or insist on always playing at a certain slot machine - our brains look for patterns in the constant barrage of random information in our daily lives, and insist that those patterns are really there, even when they’re completely imagined.

A lot of conspiracy theories have their roots in people making connections between things that aren’t really connected. The belief that “vaccines cause autism” was bolstered by the fact that the first recognizable symptoms of autism happen to appear at roughly the same time that children receive one of their rounds of childhood immunizations - the two things are completely unconnected, but our brains have a hard time letting go of the pattern they see there. Likewise, many people were quick to latch on to the fact that early maps of COVID infections were extremely similar to maps of 5G coverage - the fact that there’s a reasonable explanation for this (major cities are more likely to have both high COVID cases AND 5G networks) doesn’t change the fact that our brains just really, really want to see a connection there.

Our brains love proportionality.

Specifically, our brains like effects to be directly proportional to their causes - in other words, we like it when big events have big causes, and small causes only lead to small events. It’s uncomfortable for us when the reverse is true. And so anytime we feel like a “big” event (celebrity death, global pandemic, your precious child is diagnosed with autism) has a small or unsatisfying cause (car accident, pandemics just sort of happen every few decades, people just get autism sometimes), we sometimes feel the need to start looking around for the bigger, more sinister, “true” cause of that event.

Consider, for instance, the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II. In 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot four times by a Turkish member of a known Italian paramilitary secret society who’d recently escaped from prison - on the surface, it seems like the sort of thing conspiracy theorists salivate over, seeing how it was an actual multinational conspiracy. But they never had much interest in the assassination attempt. Why? Because the Pope didn’t die. He recovered from his injuries and went right back to Pope-ing. The event didn’t have a serious outcome, and so people are content with the idea that one extremist carried it out. The death of Princess Diana, however, has been fertile ground for conspiracy theories; even though a woman dying in a car accident is less weird than a man being shot four times by a paid political assassin, her death has attracted more conspiracy theories because it had a bigger outcome. A princess dying in a car accident doesn’t feel big enough. It’s unsatisfying. We want such a monumentous moment in history to have a bigger, more interesting cause.

These theories prey on pre-existing fear and anger.

Are you a terrified new parent who wants the best for their child and feels anxious about having them injected with a substance you don’t totally understand? Congrats, you’re a prime target for the anti-vaccine movement. Are you a young white male who doesn’t like seeing more and more games aimed at women and minorities, and is worried that “your” gaming culture is being stolen from you? You might have been very interested in something called Gamergate. Are you a right-wing white person who worries that “your” country and way of life is being stolen by immigrants, non-Christians and coastal liberals? You’re going to love the “all left-wingers are Satantic pedo baby-eaters” messaging of QAnon.

Misinformation and conspiracy theories are often aimed strategically at the anxieties and fears that people are already experiencing. No one likes being told that their fears are insane or irrational; it’s not hard to see why people gravitate towards communities that say “yes, you were right all along, and everyone who told you that you were nuts to be worried about this is just a dumb sheep. We believe you, and we have evidence that you were right along, right here.” Fear is a powerful motivator, and you can make people believe and do some pretty extreme things if you just keep telling them “yes, that thing you’re afraid of is true, but also it’s way worse than you could have ever imagined.”

Real information is often complicated, hard to understand, and inherently unsatisfying.

The information that comes from the scientific community is often very frustrating for a layperson; we want science to have hard-and-fast answers, but it doesn’t. The closest you get to a straight answer is often “it depends” or “we don’t know, but we think X might be likely”. Understanding the results of a scientific study with any confidence requires knowing about sampling practices, error types, effect sizes, confidence intervals and publishing biases. Even asking a simple question like “is X bad for my child” will usually get you a complicated, uncertain answer - in most cases, it really just depends. Not understanding complex topics makes people afraid - it makes it hard to trust that they’re being given the right information, and that they’re making the right choices.

Conspiracy theories and misinformation, on the other hand, are often simple, and they are certain. Vaccines bad. Natural things good. 5G bad. Organic food good. The reason girls won’t date you isn’t a complex combination of your social skills, hygiene, appearance, projected values, personal circumstances, degree of extroversion, luck and life phase - girls won’t date you because feminism is bad, and if we got rid of feminism you’d have a girlfriend. The reason Donald Trump was an unpopular president wasn’t a complex combination of his public bigotry, lack of decorum, lack of qualifications, open incompetence, nepotism, corruption, loss of soft power, refusal to uphold the basic responsibilities of his position or his constant lying - they hated him because he was fighting a secret sex cult and they’re all in it.

Instead of making you feel stupid because you’re overwhelmed with complex information, expert opinions and uncertain advice, conspiracy theories make you feel smart - smarter, in fact, than everyone who doesn’t believe in them. And that’s a powerful thing for people living in a credential-heavy world.

Many conspiracy theories are unfalsifiable.

It is very difficult to prove a negative. If I tell you, for instance, that there’s no such thing as a purple swan, it would be very difficult for me to actually prove that to you - I could spend the rest of my life photographing swans and looking for swans and talking to people who know a lot about swans, and yet the slim possibility would still exist that there was a purple swan out there somewhere that I just hadn’t found yet. That’s why, in most circumstances, the burden of proof lies with the person making the extraordinary claim - if you tell me that purple swans exist, we should continue to assume that they don’t until you actually produce a purple swan.

Conspiracy theories, however, are built so that it’s nearly impossible to “prove” them wrong. Is there any proof that the world’s top-ranking politicians and celebrities are all in a giant child sex trafficking cult? No. But can you prove that they aren’t in a child sex-trafficking cult? No, not really. Even if I, again, spent the rest of my life investigating celebrities and following celebrities and talking to people who know celebrities, I still couldn’t definitely prove that this cult doesn’t exist - there’s always a chance that the specific celebrities I’ve investigated just aren’t in the cult (but other ones are!) or that they’re hiding evidence of the cult even better than we think. Lack of evidence for a conspiracy theory is always treated as more evidence for the theory - we can’t find anything because this goes even higher up than we think! They’re even more sophisticated at hiding this than we thought! People deeply entrenched in these theories don’t even realize that they are stuck in a circular loop where everything seems to prove their theory right - they just see a mountain of “evidence” for their side.

Our brains are very attached to information that we “learned” by ourselves.

Learning accurate information is not a particularly interactive or exciting experience. An expert or reliable source just presents the information to you in its entirety, you read or watch the information, and that’s the end of it. You can look for more information or look for clarification of something, but it’s a one-way street - the information is just laid out for you, you take what you need, end of story.

Conspiracy theories, on the other hand, almost never show their hand all at once. They drop little breadcrumbs of information that slowly lead you where they want you to go. This is why conspiracy theorists are forever telling you to “do your research” - they know that if they tell you everything at once, you won’t believe them. Instead, they want you to indoctrinate yourself slowly over time, by taking the little hints they give you and running off to find or invent evidence that matches that clue. If I tell you that celebrities often wear symbols that identify them as part of a cult and that you should “do your research” about it, you can absolutely find evidence that substantiates my claim - there are literally millions of photos of celebrities out there, and anyone who looks hard enough is guaranteed to find common shapes, poses and themes that might just mean something (they don’t - eyes and triangles are incredibly common design elements, and if I took enough pictures of you, I could also “prove” that you also clearly display symbols that signal you’re in the cult).

The fact that you “found” the evidence on your own, however, makes it more meaningful to you. We trust ourselves, and we trust that the patterns we uncover by ourselves are true. It doesn’t feel like you’re being fed misinformation - it feels like you’ve discovered an important truth that “they” didn’t want you to find, and you’ll hang onto that for dear life.

Older people have not learned to be media-literate in a digital world.

Fifty years ago, not just anyone could access popular media. All of this stuff had a huge barrier to entry - if you wanted to be on TV or be in the papers or have a radio show, you had to be a professional affiliated with a major media brand. Consumers didn’t have easy access to niche communities or alternative information - your sources of information were basically your local paper, the nightly news, and your morning radio show, and they all more or less agreed on the same set of facts. For decades, if it looked official and it appeared in print, you could probably trust that it was true.

Of course, we live in a very different world today - today, any asshole can accumulate an audience of millions, even if they have no credentials and nothing they say is actually true (like “The Food Babe”, a blogger with no credentials in medicine, nutrition, health sciences, biology or chemistry who peddles health misinformation to the 3 million people who visit her blog every month). It’s very tough for older people (and some younger people) to get their heads around the fact that it’s very easy to create an “official-looking” news source, and that they can’t necessarily trust everything they find on the internet. When you combine that with a tendency toward “clickbait headlines” that often misrepresent the information in the article, you have a generation struggling to determine who they can trust in a media landscape that doesn’t at all resemble the media landscape they once knew.

These beliefs become a part of someone’s identity.

A person doesn’t tell you that they believe in anti-vaxx information - they tell you that they ARE an anti-vaxxer. Likewise, people will tell you that they ARE a flat-earther, a birther, or a Gamergater. By design, these beliefs are not meant to be something you have a casual relationship with, like your opinion of pizza toppings or how much you trust local weather forecasts - they are meant to form a core part of your identity.

And once something becomes a core part of your identity, trying to make you stop believing it becomes almost impossible. Once we’ve formed an initial impression of something, facts just don’t change our minds. If you identify as an antivaxxer and I present evidence that disproves your beliefs, in your mind, I’m not correcting inaccurate information - I am launching a very personal attack against a core part of who you are. In fact, the more evidence I present, the more you will burrow down into your antivaxx beliefs, more confident than ever that you are right. Admitting that you are wrong about something that is important to you is painful, and your brain would prefer to simply deflect conflicting information rather than subject you to that pain.

We can see this at work with something called the confirmation bias. Simply put, once we believe something, our brains hold on to all evidence that that belief is true, and ignore evidence that it’s false. If I show you 100 articles that disprove your pet theory and 3 articles that confirm it, you’ll cling to those 3 articles and forget about the rest. Even if I show you nothing but articles that disprove your theory, you’ll likely go through them and pick out any ambiguous or conflicting information as evidence for “your side”, even if the conclusion of the article shows that you are wrong - our brains simply care about feeling right more than they care about what is actually true.

There is a strong community aspect to these theories.

There is no one quite as supportive or as understanding as a conspiracy theorist - provided, of course, that you believe in the same conspiracy theories that they do. People who start looking into these conspiracy theories are told that they aren’t crazy, and that their fears are totally valid. They’re told that the people in their lives who doubted them were just brainwashed sheep, but that they’ve finally found a community of people who get where they’re coming from. Whenever they report back to the group with the “evidence” they’ve found or the new elaborations on the conspiracy theory that they’ve been thinking of (“what if it’s even worse than we thought??”), they are given praise for their valuable contributions. These conspiracy groups often become important parts of people’s social networks - they can spend hours every day talking with like-minded people from these communities and sharing their ideas.

Of course, the flipside of this is that anyone who starts to doubt or move away from the conspiracy immediately loses that community and social support. People who have broken away from antivaxx and QAnon often say that the hardest part of leaving was losing the community and friendships they’d built - not necessarily giving up on the theory itself. Many people are rejected by their real-life friends and family once they start to get entrenched in conspiracy theories; the friendships they build online in the course of researching these theories often become the only social supports they have left, and losing those supports means having no one to turn to at all. This is by design - the threat of losing your community has kept people trapped in abusive religious sects and cults for as long as those things have existed.

#missmentelle #askmissmentelle #conspiracy theories #cults #psychology #science #neuroscience

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