#help tips

[mask131]

I was listening to a video about bad fandoms and how they ruin media etc etc...

And every time I hear about someone's experience being ruined by a bad fandom I think about one specific thing. How newer and younger generations grew up with the Internet and with social media - and as a result, for them, a social interaction will be first and foremost about the Internet. As such, when they want to enjoy or appreciate a media, they go to the Internet, and seek discussion and aporoval there.

But... As someone who grew up before the Internet was a thing everybody had. As someone who grew up in a household where the Internet was only my mother's work-tool, and definitively not for children, and barely used - as someone whose first connections to the Internet were done in cyber-cafes and by libraries' computers only when I was a teenager...

I remember and lived through a time where all the Internet fandoms DID NOT EXIST. And then, you could enjoy fully a media without worrying about the "fans". Heck, I lived in a time where people sometimes never met other fans of a given piece of media until several decades after discovering it! The invasion of the Internet and the wild colonization of social media in our society tend to make younger generations forget that medias will exist outside of a fando, and can survive a fandom. That the fandom is a byproduct of a media's existence, and is NOT NEEDED to consume, appreciate or dislike a piece of media.

I mean... I can give you dozens of shows I watched as a kid and a pre-teen that I was madly in love with, that I bought merch for, that I did fan-art of. And all that without ever encountering any other fan or hearing anybody else's opinion about the show. I just watched it, enjoyed it, and went on with my life. One CAN enjoy a media ALL ON THEIR OWN and all alone. It was how people did it for CENTURIES before you.

You clearly see how new generations' minds are shaped by the "Share this video" logic and by the "Comment section" structure. They are so used to see everybody sharing their opinion, they are so used to only read or see the most popular opinions, they are so used to see a media being SURROUNDED by fan reactions, that they end up believing in some warped way that they NEED to be part of a fandom, or that a media is equal and interwoven with its fandom. When the truth is that it is not.

There are tons of excellent pieces of media whose fandom died a long time ago, and yet the media is still there ; and same thing with hatedoms. On the other side, there are lots of pieces of media that never even got a fandom to begin with.

The whole "Fandom is everything" logic (that many people live by unconsciously) is only a fragment of a wider "community" phenomenon on the Internet, where everything must be a "community" and there is no individuality anymore. But here is the lesson and the moral to take out of things: If a piece of media is good, you can enjoy it, even if the fanbase or fandom is "bad". When you like a piece of media, you are NOT forced to interact with other fans or to care what the fandom as a whole thinks. You can be a fan, and not feel forced or obliged to be part of any "dom". And if someone "ruins" an experience of a media for you, always try to remember what YOU like about the media, and your singular enjoyment of it, and your own personal relationship with it.

I speak of experience here because when I first started sharing things about Sandman on Tumblr, I got into a bad situation with a crazy, bullying, obsessive fan of Sandman. It was all a pretty pathetic situation on all parts - because I was a young teen who wrote too hastily some posts without thinking about how my words could sound, and the other was a much older person who was hyper-focused on being the ultimate authority on Sandman (this person still tries to be the supreme ruler of the Sandman fandom by controlling Discors servers and making their blog the number one source of information about Sandman). This misunderstanding turned petty feud left me with a nasty and bitter taste that prevented me from sharing anything Sandman related - and did kill a bit of my Sandman joy... But I didn't left that ruin me. I wasn't going to leave one bad, rotten piece of mind make me unlove something I adored before. Because this is a person that exists OUTSIDE of Sandman, outside of the comic, outside of the media, and that I could have never even met if things had taken a different path.

I was bummed out that I couldn't share anything Sandman related anymore, because this person was stalking every Sandman post on this website, but I had to set my mind right because for YEARS and YEARS I did not share anything Sandman related, and it never bummed me out before. I collected Sandman volumes each year, for special occasions and given sasons - I have a whole personal history and experiences with this comic, tied to specific holidays like Christmas or gifts given by people that aren't here anymore. I was certainly NOT going to deny or renounce to a whole part of my life and to a personal relationship I had with a story, just because of some anger-prone person that clearly had a sorry life if they had nothing better to do than jump on the back of any foolish kid that miswrote something and yell at them like some self-righteous so-called teacher. A person I didn't even know, who didn't even knew the real me, and that I would never meet, and that I could easily block since their only presence was virtual.

[I also got a bit better upon seeing that I wasn't the only "victim" that had to suffer this person's slightly unhinged and very obsessive behavior, and that other reasonable person also got attacked - and I admit I laughed my ass off when I saw that this same person got a nickname around that they disliked but that actually described them so well from an outsider's point of view, it put into words everything I had felt and perceived from my few interactions. I won't say it here because I know it apparently hurts this person, and there's no need to answer misery with misery, but that was just something part of the whole crazy story]

Anyway after this very long digression - this is my personal story. For years and years I enjoyed Sandman as a comic, made it a yearly ritual, had personal experiences with it, all of that without meeting anyone else who knew or enjoyed Sandman (most people either being disinterested or laughing it off). And yet, because of this warped Internet logic that screws people minds, because one very present fan very present online was a bad person and attacked me on ground of me being some sort of "fake fan"... I should just threw these years to the bin? Certainly not! I love Sandman and it shaped some special events of my life, and that's something no one else will live, no one else will know, and that no one can "ruin" for me.

So no, I do not understand when people say that a piece of media couldn't be liked because of its fandom. A media exists outside of its fandom, before a fandom is born, and will probably survive said fandom. What truly happens to these people - which is something they do not actually understand, and that they need to realize, the same way I realized it - is that bad fans will ruin one's PERCEPTION of a show, will give a person bad memories of a comic, will ruin things around a movie or even cause trauma related to a cartoon. But when you consider things more carefully you will realize that a bad fandom in itself - that your personal bad experience with a fandom - won't change what the show or cartoon or comic or movie or anime truly is. Think about how you perceived the media before knowing about its fandom or before your bad interactions - and hold on to that, because this is YOURS and YOURS only. Try to imagine how you would have answered to a piece of media if you had no knowledge of its fans. Try to see and perceive a media while omitting all things that do not come from the media itself.

Ultimately, it is a question of not letting others enter in your head. What you do by letting bad fandoms "ruin" your perception of a media, is that you let others infect your life and warp up your mind and smear something you had, with their toxic, venomous, stupid, hateful behavior. It is a form of mind-invasion, similar to things like brainwashing peer pressure, and I think it is something people do not talk enough about.

Be strong. Do not let them win. Try to find back what is YOUR opinion and your feelings, truly your own. Or stand by your position and do not let people's bad behavior cut off yourself from the media. It is not because someone acted badly in a theater play's audience or an opera-house that the play or opera shown in it was bad. I think this is the most impactful metaphor I can come up with. If someone starts insulting everyone within a theater play's audience, will you blame the actors or the playwright for it? Will it forbid you from reading the play's script or from seeing another performance? Will you say to people "No, do not go watch this play, the audience is really bad"?

I hope this post can help

[hayatheauthor]

10 Non-Lethal Injuries to Add Pain to Your Writing

New Part: 10 Lethal Injury Ideas

If you need a simple way to make your characters feel pain, here are some ideas: 

1. Sprained Ankle

A common injury that can severely limit mobility. This is useful because your characters will have to experience a mild struggle and adapt their plans to their new lack of mobiliy. Perfect to add tension to a chase scene.

2. Rib Contusion

A painful bruise on the ribs can make breathing difficult, helping you sneak in those ragged wheezes during a fight scene. Could also be used for something sport-related! It's impactful enough to leave a lingering pain but not enough to hinder their overall movement.

3. Concussions

This common brain injury can lead to confusion, dizziness, and mood swings, affecting a character’s judgment heavily. It can also cause mild amnesia.

I enjoy using concussions when you need another character to subtly take over the fight/scene, it's an easy way to switch POVs. You could also use it if you need a 'cute' recovery moment with A and B.

4. Fractured Finger

A broken finger can complicate tasks that require fine motor skills. This would be perfect for characters like artists, writers, etc. Or, a fighter who brushes it off as nothing till they try to throw a punch and are hit with pain.

5. Road Rash

Road rash is an abrasion caused by friction. Aka scraping skin. The raw, painful sting resulting from a fall can be a quick but effective way to add pain to your writing. Tip: it's great if you need a mild injury for a child.

6. Shoulder Dislocation

This injury can be excruciating and often leads to an inability to use one arm, forcing characters to confront their limitations while adding urgency to their situation. Good for torture scenes.

7. Deep Laceration

A deep laceration is a cut that requires stitches. As someone who got stitches as a kid, they really aren't that bad! A 2-3 inch wound (in length) provides just enough pain and blood to add that dramatic flair to your writing while not severely deterring your character.

This is also a great wound to look back on since it often scars. Note: the deeper and wider the cut the worse your character's condition. Don't give them a 5 inch deep gash and call that mild.

8. Burns

Whether from fire, chemicals, or hot surfaces, burns can cause intense suffering and lingering trauma. Like the previous injury, the lasting physical and emotional trauma of a burn is a great wound for characters to look back on.

If you want to explore writing burns, read here.

9. Pulled Muscle

This can create ongoing pain and restrict movement, offering a window to force your character to lean on another. Note: I personally use muscle related injuries when I want to focus more on the pain and sprains to focus on a lack of mobility.

10. Tendonitis

Inflammation of a tendon can cause chronic pain and limit a character's ability to perform tasks they usually take for granted. When exploring tendonitis make sure you research well as this can easily turn into a more severe injury.

This is a quick, brief list of ideas to provide writers inspiration. Since it is a shorter blog, I have not covered the injuries in detail. This is inspiration, not a thorough guide. Happy writing! :)

Looking For More Writing Tips And Tricks? 

Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!

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[frownyalfred]

Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:

Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.

You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.

When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.

A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)

Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)

The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.

Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.

Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.

[pygmi-says-hi]

STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!

Bleeding:

Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.

It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.

Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.

blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.

it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.

Stab wounds:

I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.

also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.

if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)

whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites

Concussion:

despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.

if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.

Fever:

you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.

ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:

sluggishness

seizures (severe)

inability to speak clearly

feeling chilly/shivering

nausea

pain

delirium

symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.

ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.

fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.

keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you

ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:

YOU DIE AT 85F

sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.

pt 2

also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox

[profounddestinyrebel]

I would Absolutely use this if I ever had anyone ask me to places, unfortunately (maybe?) no one does :/ I do use something similar if someone asks me to cover a shift on a day off though!

[creativepromptsforwriting]

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV + Part VI

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[kotori-mochi]

Can't afford art school?

After seeing post like this 👇

And this gem 👇

As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.

Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.

📺Here is my list:

Proko (Free, mostly teaches anatomy and how to draw people. But does have art talks and teaches the basics.)

Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard and teaches you everything)

Aaron Rutten (free, tips about art, talks about art programs and the best products for digital art)

BoroCG (free, teaches a verity of art mediums from 3D modeling to digital painting. As well as some tips that can be used across styles)

Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)

Jesus Conde (free, teaches digital painting and has classes in Spanish)

Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)

Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price. Mostly teaching character designs and simple backgrounds.)

SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)

Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)

The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney. Mostly nature art)

Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)

Sinix Design (has some tips on drawing people)

Winged canvas (art school for free on a verity of mediums)

Bob Ross (just a good time, learn how to paint, as well as how too relax when doing art. "there are no mistakes only happy accidents", this channel also provides tips from another artist)

Scott Christian Sava (Inspiration and provides tips and advice)

Pikat (art advice and critiques)

Drawbox (a suggested cheap online art school, made of a community of artist)

Skillshare (A cheap learning site that has art classes ranging from traditional to digital. As well as Animation and tutorials on art programs. All under one price, in the USA it's around $34 a month)

Human anatomy for artist (not a video or teacher but the site is full of awesome refs to practice and get better at anatomy)

Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.

📚Here is my list:

The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.

"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.

"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.

"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.

"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.

"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.

"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.

"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.

"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.

Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.

📝As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. If you want to go fancy Michaels is always a good place for traditional supplies. They also get in some good sales and discounts. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are usually more expensive.

For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.

💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.

Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates. Galaxy, Windows, macOS, iPad, iPhone, Android, or Chromebook device. )

Procreate ( pay once for $9.99 usd, IPAD & IPHONE ONLY)

Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, animation and more. Free)

PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)

Krita (Free)

mypaint (free)

FireAlpaca (free)

Aseprite ($19.99 usd but has a free trail, for pixel art Windows & macOS)

Drawpile (free and for if you want to draw with others)

IbisPaint (free, phone app ONLY)

Medibang (free, IPAD, Android and PC)

NOTE: Some of these can work on almost any computer like Clip and Sai but others will require a bit stronger computer like Blender. Please check their sites for if your computer is compatible.

So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.

I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.

Hope this was helpful and have a great day.

"also apologies for any spelling or grammar errors, I have Dyslexia and it makes my brain go XP when it comes to speech or writing"

[thewatcher727]

Writing Description Notes:

Updated 9th September 2024 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes

Facial Expressions

Masking Emotions

Smiles/Smirks/Grins

Eye Contact/Eye Movements

Blushing

Voice/Tone

Body Language/Idle Movement

Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted

Silence

Memories

Happy/Content/Comforted

Love/Romance

Sadness/Crying/Hurt

Confidence/Determination/Hopeful

Surprised/Shocked

Guilt/Regret

Disgusted/Jealous

Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried

Anger/Rage

Laughter

Confused

Speechless/Tongue Tied

Fear/Terrified

Mental Pain

Physical Pain

Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted

Eating

Drinking

Warm/Hot

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh hey. I learned a bit of magic at the jewelry store that I’ve forgotten to share, please pass the blessing along.

Have you ever had a knot or tangle in a metal chain? Especially the very fine ones, it can be impossible to work them out with your fingers.

My friends, all you need is a thumbtack. In a pinch, a toothpick, needle, or any fine thin stick will do. I have never been defeated by a knot with a thumbtack in hand.

You stick the pointy end into the trickiest part of the knot and slowly just work it in. The knot loosens around it, and I’ve used this metaphor for acupuncture too because it’s the same principle to me.

But anyway, I’ve untangled chains women brought in that have been stuck multiple hellish kinks and knots for decades. It never fails to astonish them, and honestly it’s fun. Very tricky knots can take longer but it always works.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

yay water

time to drink water woo hoo yay

[liones-s]

one of the biggest things I can advocate for (in academia, but also just in life) is to build credibility with yourself. It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking of yourself as someone who does things last minute or who struggles to start tasks. people will tell you that you just need to build different habits, but I know for me at least the idea of ‘habit’ is sort of abstract and dehumanizing. Credibility is more like ‘I’ve done this before, so I know I can do it, and more importantly I trust myself to do it’. you set an assignment goal for the day and you meet it, and then you feel stronger setting one the next day. You establish a relationship with yourself that’s built on confidence and trust. That in turn starts to erode the barrier of insecurity and perfectionism and makes it easier to start and finish tasks. reframing the narrative as a process of building credibility makes it easier to celebrate each step and recognize how strong your relationship with yourself can become

[vintacha]

for all the artists out there, here are my favorite resources i use to learn!

Files

The Complete Famous Artist Course

Art Books and Resources

Art, Anatomy, and Color Books

PDF Files of Art Books

Internet Archive

YouTube

My YouTube Playlist of Tutorials

How to Draw Facial Features

Drawing and Art Advice

Drawing Lessons

Art Fundamentals

Anatomy of the Human Body

2D Animation

Perspective Drawing

Websites

Pinterest Board for Poses

Another Pinterest Board for Poses

Pinterest Boards for References

Reference Angle

Figurosity

Sketch Daily

Line of Action

Human Anatomy

Animal Photo References

Humanae - Angélica Dass

Fine Art - Jimmy Nelson

Character Design References

CDR's Twitter Account

iamagco's Twitter Account

taco1704's Twitter Account

takuya_kakikata's Twitter Account

EtheringtonBro's Twitter Account

Drawabox

Color Wheel

Color Palette Cinema

Free Images and Pictures

Free Stock Photos

FILMGRAB

Screen Musings

William Nguyen Light Reference Tool

SketchFab - 3D Skeleton Model

Animation References - sakugabooru

Animation References - Bodies in Motion

[hatsunemikuwu]

My only notes is that activated charcoal can help with cleaning your teeth, but it’s more likely to erode your dental enamel over time and might not be the best long term solution. source

That and I love the trick to soften tooth bristles in alcohol based mouth wash, I just wouldn’t use is to also rinse out your mouth. The alcohol unfortunately kills both bad AND good bacteria. source

I have trouble taking care of my teeth because everything that involves doing that is a sensory nightmare. I decide to do some research to see if there's anything I can do about this. The results?

"How to make your autistic child brush their teeth"

"Autistic Children and Sensory issues relating to tooth brushing"

"How to get your little shit to brush his fucking teeth"

Like, yeah Google, thanks, that really helps. And like, even if I was a child, some of the advice seemed... unhelpful. Like, doing a dance and singing a song while brushing your teeth? Even for a kid, I don't think that would help distract from a sensory experience as intense as brushing your teeth. Like, the extremely intense and unpleasant flavor, the intense feeling of the brush against your teeth scraping across it, even mouthwash has such an intense and disgusting flavor that I have difficulty keeping it in my mouth for more than a few seconds. I wish there was SOMETHING that could be done.

[thatsbelievable]

[maelancoli]

Writing Intimacy

i often see writers sharing a sentiment of struggling with writing kiss scenes which honestly bleeds into other portrayals of physical intimacy. i see it a lot in modernized styles of writing popularized by the recent trend in publishing to encourage short, choppy sentences and few adverbs, even less descriptive language. this makes intimacy come across awkward, like someone writing a script or clumsy recounting of events rather than a beautiful paragraph of human connection.

or just plane horniness. but hey, horny doesn't have to be mutually exclusive with poetic or sensual.

shallow example: they kissed desperately, tongues swirling and she moaned. it made her feel warm inside.

in depth example: she reached for the other woman slowly and with a small measure of uncertainty. the moment her fingers brushed the sharp, soft jaw of her companion, eliza's hesitance slid away. the first kiss was gentle when she finally closed the distance between them. she pressed her lips lightly to gabriella's in silent exploration. a tender question. gabriella answered by meeting her kiss with a firmer one of her own. eliza felt the woman's fingers curling into her umber hair, fingernails scraping along her scalp. everything inside eliza relaxed and the nervousness uncoiled from her gut. a warm buzz of energy sunk through her flesh down to the very core of her soul. this was right. this was always where she needed to be.

the first complaint i see regards discomfort in writing a kiss, feeling like one is intruding on the characters. the only way to get around this is to practice. anything that makes you uncomfortable in writing is something you should explore. writing is at its best when we are pushing the envelope of our own comfort zones. if it feels cringy, if it feels too intimate, too weird, too intrusive, good. do it anyway! try different styles, practice it, think about which parts of it make you balk the most and then explore that, dissect it and dive into getting comfortable with the portrayal of human connection.

of course the biggest part comes to not knowing what to say other than "they kissed" or, of course, the tried and true "their lips crashed and their tongues battled for dominance" 😐. so this is my best advice: think beyond the mouth. okay, we know their mouths are mashing. but what are their hands doing? are they touching one another's hair? are they scratching or gripping desperately at one another? are they gliding their hands along each other's body or are they wrapping their arms tightly to hold each other close? do they sigh? do they groan? do they relax? do they tense? are they comfortable with each other or giddy and uncertain? is it a relief, or is it bringing more questions? is it building tension or finally breaking it?

get descriptive with the emotions. how is it making the main character/pov holder feel? how are they carrying those emotions in their body? how do they feel the desire in their body? desire is not just felt below the belt. it's in the gut, it's in the chest, it's in the flushing of cheeks, the chills beneath the skin, the goosebumps over the surface of the flesh. everyone has different pleasure zones. a kiss might not always lead desire for overtly sexual touches. a kiss might lead to the desire for an embrace. a kiss might lead to the impulse to bite or lick at other areas. a kiss could awaken desire to be caressed or caress the neck, the shoulder, the back, the arms etc. describe that desire, show those impulses of pleasure and affection.

of course there is the tactile. what does the love interest taste like? what do they smell like? how do they kiss? rough and greedy? slow and sensual? explorative and hesitant? expertly or clumsily? how does it feel to be kissed by them? how does it feel to kiss them?

i.e. examine who these individuals are, what their motives and feelings are within that moment, who they are together, what it looks like when these two individuals come together. a kiss is not about the mouth. it's about opening the door to vulnerability and desire in one's entire body and soul.