#help i have unhealthy attachment issues with shows

[fourthwonton]

Hi, I'm Fourthwonton and onion-esque media has me in a chokehold

*onion-esque media refers to media that seems like a fun, fluffy show to watch on a Friday evening at first sight but it has many layers so you write a new analysis after every rewatch and you now sob every time you think of it.

[duplicityvn]

devtalk #1 11/10 ::

Hey, I've been recently made aware of a... I don't know what to say so I'll just put, "controversial" update of one of the games in this community.

First off, I want to say kudos to @/fantasia-kitt for biting the bullet and putting some actual real dark shit into the game. This is what's been missing from the community.

Personally, I think these devblogs and interactions between community and developer have watered down yandere stories and have promoted an almost unhealthy look towards what a yandere actually is.

It also has caused several people to develop an unhealthy sense of relationships, thinking that you're only loved or capable of showing love if you do extremely toxic things as a "Look what I'll do for you, don't you understand?"

This isn't to say that I think devblogs should be removed, or we should stop dev-community interactions all together. No, this is just me saying, "Hey, guys. These characters are meant to be dark, are meant to be evil, they're morally reprehensible and irredeemable. Remember that."

When you get into dark content, you have to be prepared for dark fucking content, okay?

Onto my second point of this post.

Do I think there should have been clearer warnings in the game before some of this stuff happened? Yes and no. I think FK's warnings are appropriate and clearly stated.

I also think that following a similar format to Boyfriend to Death, where there is a content warning/trigger list for each separate character would help in expectations for these incidents. People get attached to characters, it's a thing that happens. If you asked me several months ago, I would have a different opinion. As it stands, I now have comfort characters of my own.

Do I think anything is wrong with TKATB or FK? No, absolutely not. FK is entitled to create whatever story they want to, however dark they want to. I appreciate that they're bringing this into the community and it's a little inspiring and motivating if I'm being honest.

Anyway, this is just my own personal thoughts and ramblings on this matter. I am but a tiny dev with a tiny following that wanted to make a post about this in general. In the future, I will personally be making a trigger/content warning list for each character before such content is released to avoid this happening. I will also be implementing it into the game itself so it's very in your face about what Duplicity: Revival contains.

You have your own responsibility to listen to and heed warnings that developers list for their games. If ***any*** of that content on those warnings are an issue for you, then don't interact with the game. At all.

I think that's all I had to say about this. I'll add more if I think of anything.

Take care of yourself, bunnies. <3

-Cin

[josephquinnswhore]

where you go, I go - stalker joel miller x female reader AU.

summary: joel hasn’t been the same since ex his wife abandoned him and his daughter, but he’s been watching you for months.. you’re the perfect replacement.

word count: 1.1k

content warning: extreme stalking, harassment, unhealthy infatuation, murder, brief mention of potential kidnapping, unhealthy idealism, manipulation, gaslighting.

Today was really not the day for this, your complete lack of intolerance to bullshit had reached its capacity.

But this had been happening every attempt for the past week, a relatively new and frankly.. abruptly confusing issue.

The button on your key fob for your car makes the indicators flash orange each attempt to pry the boot open. With a click or the button, it’s supposed to open the boot automatically.

But your car doesn’t do that, no. It insists on a one armed wrestling match while you have to click the button simultaneously.

Thanks to Joel, the man that has been absolutely infatuated with you for months, since you’d hired them for a minor job, just a custom order bookshelf. Not something the men would typically accept but Joel was absolutely infatuated with you.

Since then he hadn’t ever been far from where you were. Even if that meant showing up to your house at night and sabotaging apart of your car.

It’s hot out. These Texan summers were no joke and with no breeze, the beads of sweat meticulously lined upon your forehead, not one inch of it wasn’t covered in sweat.

“Come on!” With a grunt of frustration, you attempt to wrestle the boot open again, pushing it down to try and get the latch unstuck.

He watches on as you struggle with the boot of your car for the third time this week alone, how you managed to live your life without a man to take care of you was a real mystery to him.

As amusing as it is to watch you struggle, he figures he needs to approach before some other man offers a helping hand. The last thing Joel needs is to bury another goddamn prick on your behalf. You should be thanking Joel, really.

But he understands, you don’t know. You’re vulnerable, completely none the wiser to the fact that a man that mowed your lawn once a fortnight, had managed to peep through your bathroom window and caught a glance of your bare skin while you were showering.

Unaware that anyone was watching you groan again in frustration, about ready to pull your hair out. “Why the hell is this happening to me today?!”

“Excuse me, miss?” A well recognised Southern, Texan accent calls out to you with a hint of amusement and curiosity. Turning around, the man was closer than you’d expected.

“You need something?” Perhaps you were snappier than you should’ve been, and he raises a singular eyebrow at you.

“I’m sorry. I just.. need help with this. Pain in the ass. I have cold stuff and it’s hot as shit out here!” You ramble incessantly to the man who just tilts his head.

As he steps forward. “Mind if I give it a try?”

“Good luck to you—“ before you could even finish the scornful sentence the boot was open.

“How did you do that?” Disbelief wavering in your tone.

He shrugs, folding his arms over his chest, the shirt tightens and the muscles in his arms bulge. A fitting distraction to keep your eyes away from the fact that he had just sneakily attached a tracking tab onto your car. Underneath the number plate.

Now, he already knew your home address. But he had to make sure that you weren’t seeing anyone.

You were certain he had caught you staring. “These older models have a few minor issues, I learnt that working on my own truck, I suppose.”

Now that were true. But he wouldn’t really tell you the reason he knew how to fix this particular issue.

“What’s your name anyway?”

He starts packing your groceries into the now open boot, a few bags in each hand at a time.

The veins in his forearms protrude out of the skin.

“Joel. Joel Miller.”

Once he’s finished packing your groceries away, he closes the boot. “Shouldn’t have no more issues with it.”

You raise a brow. “You’re not gonna ask my name?”

He doesn’t want to, because he already knows it.

He almost laughs, almost. “What is your name, miss?”

When you reply with your name, he doesn’t at all seem phased, which was odd. “You kinda look familiar, actually.”

He keeps a calm expression, looking around the carpark as he gives a warm smile. “I live around here. Do contracting for a lot of houses around town.”

He could’ve felt his gut drop in that moment, maybe you’d figured him out. Perhaps you were about to call him out on what he’s been doing, sneaking around your goddamn house at night, sabotaging the boot so that it wouldn’t open properly.

Perhaps if that were the worst case scenario, he would just have to whack you on the head and shove you into the boot of your little car and drive you to his house. Chain you up and explain that he’s not a bad guy, he just cares for you. No one else cares for you like he does.

Thankfully, it doesn't come to that, because you’re clueless, really. It’s sad to see that you don’t protect yourself. If Joel could get away with all of this unseen. Imagine the real creeps that would take advantage of you.

Joel had been creating all of these minor issues for you, so that you would perhaps seek him out if he happened to.. by chance.. be nearby.

Come to think of it, there was a white pickup that had some sort of business name on the side of it. Been around your street a few times this week, actually. Perhaps he’s got work in the area?

Ain’t really your business to ask though.

“Yeah, I suppose. Thanks anyway, for this.. I should get home now. Don’t want all the dairy and meat to spoil.”

By now you really should be leaving.. but you feel compelled to give the helpful man your number.

“Maybe I can thank you properly one day for lending a hand.”

You quickly scribble it down on the back of your long docket and hand it to him.

“I’ll contact you,” albeit a simple response, he vows to you.

He takes the half crumpled paper with your number and nods with a warm smile, watching you as you get into your car and thank him again through the window before driving off.

A grim smile on his wicked lips as he watches the car leave the parking lot, knowing that even now, as you left, he would know where you were.

Because where you were, Joel was always following close behind. He did, after all.. think you were perfect. The missing piece of the puzzle to his family. The right woman to give his daughter a caring, loving mother. And you—would be his wife. Joel was taking all the steps necessary to ensure it.

He would have he perfect family. He would have you.

Finally, with the number in hand, he was one step closer.

[sagesskies]

been reading a lot of qt bl recently, and this idea struck me:

imagine you've just transmigrated into a world where you're the second male lead's best friend, when him and the fl enter a rough patch in their relationship because seriously, that guy flirts with way too many girls despite being in a committed relationship, and this time the fl has had enough and breaks up with him.

the 2nd male lead just has a downward spiral, because he was super dependent on the fl, and you, doing your job as his best friend, give him words of encouragement, as you were instructed by the system. but when he, unexpectedly, asks you to do more than give him advice, and instead help him in the direct process of fixing their relationship, you can't exactly say no when he's asking you so pitifully with tears in his eyes.

so, you help him, concocting schemes to win the fl over, sabotage the 1st male lead, and the like. this is way more than the original best friend did, where he just said some encouraging words and then proceeded to dip out of the plot till the emotional climax where he gets hit by a car and the female lead and 2nd male lead supposedly "make up" and "date again" at least, till the 1st male lead wins her back over.

you're able to actually get closer to him as well, past the shallow mask that all humans don, and get to know him as more than just 'a playboy with unhealthy attachment issues'

you learn that he likes to play the guitar and sing, that he cries when watching romance movies, that his favorite color is purple, that he dreams of making a career out of his music, and that nobody ever believes he can.

but when you place your arm around his shoulder, and look deep into eyes and tell him that you do, you believe in him, you see the way that his eyes widen in surprise, and how tears start to well up in his eyes, but completely miss the way his cheeks start to redden.

you actually miss a lot of things. how he always remembers your coffee order, how he knows the way you like your eggs made, how he remembers your favorite show and movie, and knows your handwriting by how you write your m's.

you also miss how he wraps his arm around your waist, drapes his jacket over you when you get cold, and likes to loop his arms around your shoulders and cling to you like a koala does to a tree.

what you do notice is how he's stopped talking about the female lead as much, how he only asks you how you're doing, invites you out not to plan something but to instead just hang like friends would, and when you bring up how the female lead has started dating the 1st ml he just blinks, and then says "Okay, good for them," like he wasn't bemoaning how close they were only three months ago.

and what you are forced to see is that the only person he's feeling possessive over is you. he's always texting you, asking where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing. he's glaring at anybody who even breathes in your direction, and one time your friends told you he threatened them to leave you alone.

slowly, you start to distance yourself from him. you decline his offers to hang out, you avoid him on campus, and have even gone so far as to mute his notifications because he's been sending you so many messages.

the system is alerting you of his unnatural behavior, and you tell it that you're very aware, and trying your best to get the story back on track. but by god, is he making this so hard.

it all comes to a head when you hear pounding at your front door, the sound muffled by the heavy downpour of rain, and when you open it you're, sadly, not surprised to see that it's the 2nd male lead, clothes soaked and sobbing, he's telling you he misses you. that he doesn't know why you're avoiding him, but whatever he did he's sorry for it.

"Just don't ignore me, please [Name]," he whines, "If you do, I might die!"

how will you get yourself out of this mess now?

[severinewrites]

Finding Independence Without Love

Musings of independence with the absence of love feat. Moominvalley

Dependency is common in some relationships and could happen in both platonic and romantic relationships. We see our partners/friends as a source of happiness every time we feel down. Our clinginess strengthens when we have a special person in our lives, thinking of them as a person without flaws or perfect. This can be an unhealthy way of how we act or think in our relationships with other people, we can’t expect they’ll satisfy our needs immediately, it’s like you are viewing them as the top of our pedestal, admiring them a lot.

I am saying this from my perspective as a young adult, I’ve experienced the first time feeling disappointed in my ex-crush when I hear he likes someone else. It hurts a lot to hear from the person you’ve admired for so long like someone other than you, I mean, it’s a universal experience, right? Getting disappointed or rejected, you start to get mad at yourself like hitting, pulling your hair, or even slapping yourself for not getting chosen, you feel like an idiot for being delusional thinking you’re the “one” for them. It’s a tragic feeling, I know—but I tried to forget about them, not as a friend but as a “crush”.

During my Christmas break, I struggled to cope with my feelings, so I doomscrolled YouTube for 10-12 hours for 3 days straight without reaching out to someone because I needed to isolate myself from what happened, trying to forget it ever happened. Then, I stumbled upon a show called “Moominvalley” on my for you page, I decided to watch the clips, and guess what? I fell in love with it quickly even though it’s been 3 days since I knew about this show. Moominvalley is a comforting show, and what intrigued me about the show is the character Snufkin, an easygoing and carefree enjoys thinking about things and always comes and goes as he pleases, going on adventures. Like Snufkin, I enjoy solo trips, I'm not a big fan of trips with my friends (depends on my mood but I prefer solo to groups) since I do treasure my alone time a lot, able to think about stuff or explore everywhere without any people around trying to drain my energy emotionally and physically. With my solo trips, I'm able to reflect on many stuff without any distractions. Just because I enjoy being alone doesn't mean I don't feel lonely… I have friends who care about me a lot—including my ex-crush but despite them being overall supportive and approachable, I can't help but try to push them away from me—isolating myself, especially what happened between my ex-crush and me, I can't face them anymore something that leads me to isolate myself from them and my friends, not wanting help or comfort from them anymore. I shut myself from them, I don't want to make things complicated. Snufkin really relates toMoninn on a deeper level, making him my kin since he does push away friends, has abandonment issues, fears getting attached, is sad on the inside, and struggles to talk/chat with someone.

Through the show Moominvalley, I’ve learned the hard way that even the people you deeply love and admire, you need to accept that you can’t control how they feel or act, because well… they are humans, right? They deserve to feel or act what they want, even having feelings for somebody they like, even if it’s not you. It’s sad because that person made you feel alive or wanted, through the physical touch, words of affirmation, and more—makes me so special to them. Maybe that’s the reason why I fell in love with them in the first place. This also relates to the relationship between Moominttoll and Snufkin, Moominroll being clingy and a bit obsessed to Snufkin makes him admire him because of his adventures but unlike Snufkin, he tries to avoid any attachment to Moomintroll, resulting him to leave everytime to get some alone time or to isolate himself in his adventures. Moomintroll is also one of the characters I've kinned too, him being so clingy towards Snufkin reminds how I acted towards my ex-crush but not as obsessive, just right. Moomintroll has longings for Snufkin, always wanting to be in his side everytime, like how I've wanted to be in my ex-crush's side whenever I have a chance too—but sadly they found someone they always want to be close with… I'm glad for them but I tend to feel lonely without them around, yearning for some message or conversation from them—nothing is the same anymore as before… but that's life, there will be changes, whether you like it or not.

Therefore, I still need time for myself and watch more Moominvalley to find my purpose in life outside heartbreaks. Even I would love to talk/chat with them, it’s time to use this vacation to take a break from them for a while, giving myself time to grow as an independent person—not needing their comfort or help and focusing on my passion for writing, like what I am doing right now. Sometimes, we need to depend on ourselves, without needing anyone to fix us. That's what I did to cope.

To end this, I would like to add a quote from Moominvalley from the character Snufkin, he once said:

“You can't ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.” - Snufkin (Moominvalley 2019)

This quote explains we can't really be free if we admire that special person too much, draining your energy mentally and emotionally. I wish I've heard this show during my childhood then I wouldn't have to deal with heartbreaks all of the sudden. But I guess things happen for a reason. Moominvalley is truly a masterpiece, especially the creator itself Tove Jansson, the one responsible for making this beautifully crafted show for us to love and enjoy, making us learn meaningful lessons.

We humans seek longing, wanting be loved by that person we admired but I know we're better than that—I’m better than that anyways! We know that those people we love are humans too, so why waste our time waiting for approval from them? We could try to look after ourselves and be a independent with or without them—needing no love from them at all! Love can wait but not with hopes and dreams, our passions in life are much more important than some hopeless romance. We don't need that person we deeply admire to take over our lives, we should move forward and never look back! It's such a shame not to take a chance to do what you're passionate about when we only live once.

With Moominvalley, It's possible for us to grow to independent individuals thriving to make the world a better place! With my strong love for writing, I could write freely, writing down my musings, feelings, and emotions. I’m grateful to be alive where the world is filled with endless possibilities, where you can be free from everything! Be who you want to be, explore everything until you find your purpose—that’s the beauty of independence without love!

“It is simply this: do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die. It's as simple as that.” - Tove Jansson (Fair Play 1989)

[icyg4l]

PAC: Romanticize the Fall 🍂

Hello beautiful people! Welcome to the season of fall! I hope you all are having a wonderful start to this season. Today's reading will be all about how you can improve your fall by adding simple things to your routine. If you would like to book a reading, go to my pinned post and check out my guidelines and then click on my booking website to confirm the details. So without further ado, select the pile that resonates with you.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-3)

Pile One: As I was pulling for this pile, I heard the word "pathologize". It basically means to treat someone as abnormal or unhealthy. You guys may be Vitamin D deficient or are prone to depression/anxiety. You may even struggle with OCD or BPD. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging this properly. The best form of action may be for you to get diagnosed in order to fully enjoy this season. It feels like you need something to look forward to when it gets cold. Try to get out of your house and see what's going on in your community when it comes to fitness. If you're trying to save money, look out for some free fitness sessions. Go attend a pilates session if your school has one. You give me 2000s soccer mom vibes. Just show up and you will see how quickly your life changes! Your health will become of utmost importance to you. Treat it as such. You only have one body so treat it with kindness while you're still here. Lock in and you will see the world more clearly.

Cards Used: 8 of Swords, Prince of Cups, King of Cups, 10 of Discs

extras: ibs symptoms. seasonal depression. freedom. jimmy fallon. attachment issues. snoring. pleasers. mirror by the bed.

Pile Two: Pile Two, I can tell that you have a playful side to you. You're someone that is tapped in with you're inner child. I am seeing a kid run in front of their tv in their pajamas and admiring what's on it. You should get back to doing that. Make it your goal to watch something that you loved to indulge in as a kid. For some of you, it was Spongebob. For some of you, it was Hannah Montana. For others of you, it was Henry Danger. Grab a snack after work or after school and just watch whatever your childhood self loved! Another thing that you could do is bake cookies to welcome in the fall season. I am seeing those pumpkin sugar cookies that Pillsbury makes in my third eye. Eat some pumpkin/chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream! Buy some fall chips from Trader Joe's. Engage with your senses, lovely!

Cards Used: The Moon, 4 of Discs, 6 of Discs, The Emperor.

extras: italiano. foxy brown. vic mensa. doughboy. fallen branches. freezer burn. retired partier. wintrust bank. forman mills.

Pile Three: This diva! Baby, if you are feeling lonely, then you need to open up your mouth! If you want some company, then just say that! You're way too prideful and it's costing you in human connections, whether it's romantic or platonic. Some of you could be into ghost stories or conspiracy theories. There is someone around you that is into the same shit. By refusing to make connections with other people, you are rejecting a part of yourself. Some of you may be traumatized by past experiences. Others of you may be in a codependent relationship. It's time for you to branch out, babe. I am channeling the movie 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' (hopefully your experience is nothing too similar like this movie lol). I am seeing two people walking through the leaves, talking enthusiastically to one another. You don't have to dream about it! Actualize it, love!

Cards Used: 2 of Cups, The Devil (RX), 5 of Discs, 3 of Cups.

extras: brass kunckles. humming at night. spooky season. pride events. hamptons. labor day. simon says. comic book nerd.

[demaparbat-hp]

I used to just think Zutara was cool because Zuko and Katara had that whole fire-water duality, had more chemistry with each other than their canon love interests, Kataang gave me this sexist pseudo-incestuous vibe while Mai was just way too under-developed to interest me (Zuko gets the most character development out of all the characters but they pair him off with the most boring character in the series?).

Now when I actually think about it more deeply, Zutara genuinely made more sense for the narrative and characters too. Aang was told he had to let go of Katara so he could become a fully realized Avatar but then he just gets a deus ex machina so he doesn't have to. They dropped an entire arc just for Kataang to get together and made it happen in the most stupid way. The lion turtle deus ex machina was already badly done but at least it sorta made sense with the lore. The rock was just beyond ridiculous. Aang solved his problems by randomly hitting a rock even though they already established how Aang had this unhealthy attachment to Katara because she was his coping mechanism for his lost people. Instead of letting her go, Aang keeps that attachment and becomes even more possessive of her. He never learns to prioritize the world over Katara even though it is his duty as the Avatar! He didn't have to sacrifice or learn anything to achieve his goals and the way he became a fully realized Avatar NEVER made any sense. Katara and Aand were not always intended to end up together if you look at the IP Bible. Katara goes back to the SWT to help rebuild it while Aang goes looking for the hidden Air Nomads. There's hints early on in Book 1 that the Air Nomads are still alive (like how Aang was able to get a bison whistle from some merchants but they never explain where they got it from).

Meanwhile the whole Maiko relationship seemed like it was a metaphor to represent Zuko's false destiny and dissatisfaction with his life since Mai encouraged him to sink into his bad habits and ignore everything else, and Azula actively encouraged them to get together so she could control Zuko easier and keep him in the Fire Nation. Zuko leaving Mai behind felt like him embracing his true destiny. This entire thing falls apart when they get back together though, and them being so toxic in the comics is just further proving how dysfunctional they are (like, do they think this is going to sell us on the ship?). I also thought it was strange that apparently Zuko and Mai liked each other since they were kids but Mai never bothered to write him his entire banishment, Zuko never thought about her, Iroh never mentions her, Zuko was totally fine with going on a date with Jin (which Iroh also encouraged), and Iroh thought Zuko and Katara would make a good couple as soon as he saw them interacting as friends. It makes me think Bryke just created Mai and put her with Zuko as a way to discourage Zutara shippers but then forgot to develop her properly. Zuko doesn't even think about Mai after she risked his life to save him lol.

I'm about to make this a long answer, sorry about that :)

I love narrative, and I love to analyze how it is built. Narrative is the way a story is shaped to express its themes. Narrative is using the events within the story to build metaphors. Narrative is the smart foreshadowing, the parallels, the foils. Narrative is intentional, until it isn't.

I am not a professional. I do not have a college degree on this subject. I just like to think about what can make writing be great or lacking. I am merely expressing my personal opinion on this show and these characters, not stating an universal truth.

ATLA is such a well-written show. It treats its themes maturely and builds the story and characters masterfully. Of course, it isn't perfect, as nothing made by human hands is meant to be. ATLA has issues with its storyline and characters and, ultimately, with the narrative itself.

Aang's character arc is different to Zuko's in that, while Zuko's is focused on change, Aang's ultimately ends with him standing his ground. (And isn't that poetic? That in order to grow they need to embrace the philosophy of their opposite element?)

Zuko was forced to change in order to survive from a very young age. He learned to suppress his true, compassionate nature, to become The Perfect Prince—that which Azula embodies. When Zuko fails to do this, he is burnt and tossed away and forced to change once more. He has been hurt and thus is the farthest he has ever been from his true self—Zuko almost forgets who he is.

Zuko's arc, in that way, is similar to Aang's. It's about staying true to himself, but also about learning, about opening his eyes to the horror and using that same passion he has always had to do the right thing. Zuko changes, not into the person he was, but into someone who could, in the future, turn into the better version of himself.

Aang is different. Aang is a child born into peace, who does not have the personal, terrible experience of his people's genocide or the hundred years of war that have left the world wrecked. Aang's arc is about changing and learning and adapting to this new reality, about accepting his role as the Avatar. But it's also about standing firm and saying, "This is who I am, this is where I come from—pain will not break me".

Aang's struggle to control the Avatar State was all about that. The Avatar State meant that Aang lost control. It meant the pain and the hurt had turned him into a thing of anger (righteous as it was) and instinct and awe. Aang needed to be at peace with himself in order to control the Avatar State.

That tiny rock at the final battle felt like an easy way out. It felt like taking from the sheer terror of watching yourself almost kill a man as if from afar. The real moment of triumph for Aang in the finale happened when he stopped. It happened when he took control back and ended the Avatar State, stopping himself from betraying what he believed in.

Was not killing Ozai truly the best choice? I won't get into that debate. I know where I stand on it, but it's not really the point I'm trying to make here.

Aang's triumph, character-wise, happens when he stands his ground and refuses to abandon who he is and what he believes in. And for someone whose flight or fight response almost always turns to flight, this is a huge deal.

Now, where do Katara and Mai stand on this?

It has always been clear to me (even as a Maiko shipper) that Mai was always supposed to be a narrative device. Her relationship with Zuko is supposed to give us, the viewers, and him, another reason to see that this isn't the life he wants, that everything isn't perfect even when it should be on paper.

Zuko goes back home. Zuko is welcomed by his nation with open arms. He is revered. Loved. His father tells him he is proud of him. Zuko has a doting girlfriend—a beautiful, noble girl who can kick his ass and is everything a Fire Prince could wish for. She is adequate and things with her are easy, untroubled. Zuko has everything he could wish for.

And yet he is not happy.

Mai and Zuko have issues that should not be pinned fully on either of them. They had trouble comunicating. They wanted different things in life. They had different ways to look at the world. Different ways to look at each other. Different ways to cope. Different ways to express themselves. Different expectations.

And that's okay. It's possible to make a relationship like that work. Nobody is perfect and no relationship is flawless. Opposites attract and it's possible to find a middle ground in which they can both be happy.

Except they never truly did.

Mai and Zuko's relationship was a plot device. One that did its job damn well... Until it didn't.

If your relationship with the girl is supposed to symbolize the lowest point in your life, and going back into being someone you don't like anymore, then why get back to her when the story is over?

As for Katara, well...

Many things have been said about the abandoned Letting Go Of Katara arc. I'd like to avoid that discussion right now, if that's okay.

I think Zuko and Katara's relationship would have made a lot of sense both narratively and thematically, but also (and most importantly) it would have made sense character-wise.

Give them a few years, let them explore the beautiful friendship they had at the end of the series. Let them find themselves and grow into their roles in this different, exciting new world. Let them reconnect.

If they fall in love in the process? Well, maybe it was a long time coming.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

I hope this doesn't sound confusing, but is there a way to strike a balance between using "simple" words and "complex" words? Like, trying to write something that isn't too simple or too verbose.

I think context is the keyword here.

What I do is I just write using my current vocabulary, so that I'm able to convey what I mean as accurately as possible. And if I want to sort of elevate my writing, that's when I might swap out some simpler words with more "complex"/poetic words, or maybe even phrases. But I make sure I'm using the appropriate vocabulary. How do we do this? I'm just going to copy and paste here an excerpt from this writing resource to answer this question:

It’s important to use words and expressions that fit the context so your meaning is clear. For example, different audiences for your writing will require different levels of formality: the vocabulary you use in an academic essay may not be effective for a blogpost targeting a popular audience. Consider the following questions to help you choose the most appropriate words for your audience and purpose. a. What’s the exact meaning of the word? Words may be broadly similar in meaning but differ in important aspects of that meaning. Consider the difference between ‘the fragrance of flowers’  and ‘the odour of rotten eggs.’ Both words refer to the sense of smell, but fragrance has a positive core meaning while odour has a negative one. If you don’t know what a word exactly means, check it in a dictionary. Also look up sample sentences that use your "complex"/fancy word, and see how it is actually used. But, once you truly know what a word means, wordplay can be your friend. b. Is the word attached to a feeling? Compare the two sentences: ‘The freeway snakes through the town’ and ‘The freeway meanders through the town’. In this example, snake indicates negative feelings about the freeway while meander doesn’t. c. What level of intensity does the word show? Many words with similar meanings describe different degrees of the same quality or action. For example, ‘comical’, ‘hilarious’ and ‘side-splitting’  show different degrees of funniness. Think about the intensity of what you want to convey when choosing words. d. Is the word formal or informal? Go for formal words and expressions in business communication and academic writing. In the following examples, the second expression in each pair is more formal than the first: (1) come up with / create (2) one after another / at regular intervals (3) huge / considerable (4) enough / sufficient e. Is the word polite? Words which describe negative qualities or sensitive issues too directly can be offensive. Good communicators consider the feelings of their audience. For example, when writing about childhood obesity, it’s more appropriate to use ‘children with weight problems’ or ‘children of an unhealthy weight’ than ‘fat children’. f. Is the word specific or general? Use words with specific meanings whenever possible to make your message clearer to your audience. For example, avoid overusing general verbs such as ‘be’, ‘do’, ‘have’ and ‘get’, especially in academic writing, as they don’t accurately convey specific ideas. It’s better to use a more specific verb or verb phrase to strengthen your message. Compare the impact of the verbs in these sentences: ‘To be successful, learners need to have high-level literacy skills.’ ‘To be successful, learners need to develop and demonstrate high-level literacy skills.’ g. What other words does the word often go with? Some words are frequently used together and therefore sound more natural in combination. This is called collocation. For example, we say ‘fast train’ not ‘quick train’, but ‘quick shower’ not ‘fast shower’. Similarly, it’s more natural to say ‘highly critical’ rather than ‘deeply critical.’ Additionally, be aware of idioms. Idioms are commonly used word combinations or expressions. These have very specific meanings that are not obvious from the words they contain, e.g. ‘a piece of cake’, ‘get the hang of it’, ‘an Indian summer’, and ‘after a fashion’. Many dictionaries list and define idioms if you look up the component words. For example, try looking up ‘Indian’ or ‘summer’ to find ‘Indian summer’.

But if you have a wide vocabulary that people have difficulty understanding you, maybe you can do the opposite of this and swap out the too complex words with simpler ones, haha!

Lastly, when you read through your work whilst editing, ask yourself: Does this sound natural? Does it sound like your literary voice? Do you recognise yourself in this written work? Or do the simple/complex words you've inserted sound too unfamiliar?

Hope this helps, dear Anon. But if anyone has a better answer for this, do let us know.

[dreamchasernina]

All this newly restored discourse on the show is making me realize something. Some people just see ATLA as a show. A good show they once watched.

Look, I’ve been watching the show since I was 12, I guess. I’ve watched it more times than I can count and it has gotten me through a lot of tough times. It could be considered silly that a tv show had gotten me through a lot, it’s a just a tv show after all. But for me, it’s so much more than that. When I feel like I’m losing it in life and I can’t see the light I just watch the show, with characters I know and love so much and it just makes me feel better, so much weight is lifted off my shoulders. Seeing Zuko make mistakes over and over to eventually find himself, seeing Aang accept his destiny while also shaping it in a way that suits him, seeing Katara and Sokka get stronger and smarter and changing the world for the better. And so much more. It all just helps me, it’s like therapy.

Recently I’ve been through the hardest time ever in my life, and again, this show made me sane again. It just reminds me that “sometimes you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but if you just keep moving, you will come to a better place”.

So when I see people talking about who’s the best Avatar, or who’s made more mistakes or that Katara should’ve killed Yon Rah or Aang should’ve killed Ozai or Zuko should’ve joined the gaang sooner, or weather Iroh deserves a redemption arc. It just makes me realize that people must have watched the show and thought, huh, great fights scenes, cool characters and that’s it. And that’s great, nothing wrong with that. It’s just that I see so much more than that. Everything is not black and white, that’s the whole point of the show.

It’s just opening my eyes that some messages went over some people’s heads, or they didn’t think about much after it was over. Huh, maybe I’m the only one who has this deep attachment to this show. Maybe it’s getting to the point of unhealthy lol

Anyway, I love watching the fandom come back to life but I’m also kinda stunned that - from this amazing show, that talks about serious real life issues, philosophy and balance, all some people took out of it was - “who’s more powerful” or “this character is terrible cause they did so many things wrong”. These characters are human, that’s what makes them interesting. That’s what makes me, personally, connect with them on so many levels. You can’t just reduce them to one character flaw or judge them by one decision they once made. This show is about growth, it’s about making mistakes and learning from them and becoming a better version of yourself. It sucks that some people don’t see it.

Just some thoughts I wanted to share.

[raisedbythetv89]

To me, I don’t think Buffy or the audience can ever truly know if she’s in love with angel or just in attachment with him. I believe she is just in attachment and especially before innocence and after his encounter with the first, just full on enmeshment with him. No boundaries whatsoever, his pain is her pain (which is extremely common in parentified children who feel they have to protect their parents from their pain like what buffy does with joyce), just like how she describes her feelings towards riley later which is NOT a good thing, empathy is good, taking on others pain as if it’s your own is extremely unhealthy. (Yes I’m pulling on my psych degree for a tumblr post, human behavior and buffy are two of my special interests)

What I mean by “in attachment” is that she has all of the same anxieties and insecurities about angel that she does with her father. Angel’s erratic and unpredictable behavior plays on her anxious avoidant attachment style SO AGGRESSIVELY. He keeps showing up, giving her little information at all and even less about himself and then vanishing leaving her hanging, and anxiously wondering about him which can mimic thinking you’re romantically interested when really it’s just an unresolved problem you desperately want to solve. She has a lot of valid criticisms about him before they’re officially together about his inconsistencies, him treating her like a child, him being too old for her and then all of a sudden she’s saying she wants to die when they kiss and that she loves him (after he forces her to say she loves him before he’ll tell the truth about drusilla). That is exactly how falling into attachment goes. Once you’re hooked all your feelings that are caused by a bad relationship with a parent are projected onto the partner who you are unknowingly recreating that dynamic with which is why such intense and strong feelings can happen so quickly and suddenly you’re ignoring all concerns you had before forming this attachment with someone.

He’s not her soulmate, he’s just the first guy to treat her like her father did and if you don’t address that cycle the relationship is recreating it can be impossible to move on because they will ALWAYS feel like something is unresolved and if you don’t know why you feel that way you can misinterpret it as true love or destiny because why all would you suffer so much and still love them if it wasn’t? It’s a mistake SO MANY of us make in our romantic relationships and these portrayals of unhealthy attachments being sold to us a soul mates doesn’t help us at all.

She does it with Riley also but she walls herself off so she doesn’t get AS attached to him as she did angel but their relationship is still her trying to fix the relationship with her father by changing herself so maybe this time he’ll stay. It’s why his opinion still matters so much to her when he comes back in season 6 despite him being a truly awful person to her who has done nothing but make mistakes and whose opinion should not matter to her at all after everything he put her through. He is another pseudo father figure she craves approval from.

It’s why I love her relationship with Spike so much despite all the bad they go through before season 7. We know her feelings are real because Spike doesn’t play on her anxious-avoidant attachment at all because he is ALWAYS there even when she’s mean and claims she doesn’t want him there. And to me everything they do to each other makes perfect sense, their relationship is exactly what two people with severe trauma and one with anxious-avoidant and one with just anxious-attachment going into a relationship together looks like. You hurt each other A LOT because you’re working out all your issues with each other and they don’t have ANY help from a therapist or someone who can help minimize the hurt so they both just use their worst coping mechanisms and the fact that they go through all that and still get to be together and happy and healthy on the other side is just everything to me because that so rarely happens in the real world, where you get to be with the person who was also a catalyst for healing and having to go through all that suffering together only to have to start over -hopefully from a much better place - but still with someone else BLOWS. So Spike and Buffy to me are about hope and healing (including the unpleasant and very ugly, dark parts of healing people rarely talk about) and getting to do each phase of that with someone AND enjoy being happy and whole together is just UGHHHH I love it so much.

[thebottomfromhell]

Headcanons:

From 1 to 10, how good parents would the Uppermoons be? Gn reader. (I warn you, you might not like some results, I'm trying to be as objective and close to canon as posible).

Warnings: Mentions of infanticide, Mentions of child-neglect, Implied child abuse and Unhealthy parent-child relationships.

Gyutaro:

He raised his sister by his own since he was 13 and barely had resources. No matter what, his child will grow up feeling safe, loved and content even in the worst of places. They would not have any self-steem issues and would trust Gyutaro anything, they would not hide if they need help nor feel afraid to ask for it. Gyutaro would be both protective and permissive, he would let the child do anything they want as long as they don't get hurt. His actions would be always loving and gentle.

The problem is that Gyutaro would not teach them to be kind, compassionate, or good in general. Because how he grew up he would raise the to survive and step over others, so his children would not be good making friends and would probably become bullys in the best case scenario. Between this and the fact Gyutaro would grow way too attached for it to be healthy, there would be a high dependance between the child and parent in this relationship.

You would be able to intervene (Gyutaro would support you and help you as he can even if he didn't feel you were doing something necesary), it would be your role to teach social skills and values, besides setting more limits. (Because of this you have to be understanding when Gyutaro becomes the favorite parent.) But the child will be happy and mostly healthy.

8/10

Gyokko:

You do know this mf eats children, right? Gyokko would kill them the second they don't appreciate his art the way he wants them to, even at an infant age. He never wanted children to begin with, he thinks that, at worst, they are a burden and waste of both time and space, at best, they are dinner.

There is nothing you can do about it, overall it's a...

-100/10

Hantengu:

One extra point base because he canonly had children, so he probably knows more or les what must be done. The problem is that he would become frustrated and paranoid rather easy. At worst he will kill them, at best he will leave them for big periods of time and come back to see how are they doing every once in a while, try to be a parent again, and then leave again to make this circle. He tries but he is not in the mental position to raise anything.

If you are there he would not kill the child, since he would need the support from the clones and they would not do it, but would still leave everything to you at the end of the day.

2/10

Sekido:

Sekido cares a lot, he loves his child, but he is not good at demostrating it. He would have an acting role into parenting, but his language in general is very aggressive, so his child might grow up fearing him. He would take care and protect the child with everything and would teach him everything he knows and his values. The children would not feel safe to ask for help to Sekido, but he would always know by one look if something is wrong and probably handle it by his own.

If your teachings are against his or he thinks they are not necesary he will be actively against you efforts with the child, qnd would be loud about it. The child would probably end very similar to him, and he would be showing the pride he would feel about it. Sekido's children would grow into responsable, physically healthy, powerful and angry but functional adults, but it would be questionable if they would ever feel loved by him, but they knew they were protected and cared for. You are still the favorite parent.

5/10

Karaku:

He is very liked by his child, unlike they know Karaku is likes them. The problem is that Karaku would be paying way more attention to you than to them, would not take effort in teaching and raising them. He would play with them and stay around, so he would inevitably set an example, but not good ones. He would treat his children more as if they were his friends, but apoiling them a lot.

He would be more of a silly older brother than a parent, leaving everything to you. He would not stop you from raising them as you see fit and will collaborate in whatever instruction you tell him (as long as you remind him constantly). Also, his children would not be afraid to ask him for advice (don't let them trust those advises) and Karaku would be willing to help and protect, but in exchange he is the dad that can't answer a single question about the child but still manage to be their favorite parent.

4/10

Urogi:

Again, Hantegu in canon had children and I would bet my tongue that it was Urogi's personality the one he showed around them. He knows all of the important information, actively reaches for them and makes sure to show affection as much as he can, both verbally and physically, he also would try to teach them some values and skills and would be 100% invested in their hapiness.

Most of the time he would take his child off your hands and play with them all day and cuddle them very late at night, but he is not exactly the most responsible or the best role model. He does loses them and find them himself from time to time, their manners are very bad and you barely have time to teach them anything before Urogi takes them again. He turns them into little savages, but they are emotionally healthy, soacially mature and happy, the children feel very loved and taken care of by him. Urogi is also the parent who comforts them with junk food and sweets, paying attention to favorites, so he easily becomes the favorite.

If it wasn't because of sometimes being too carefree with them and being unable to teach them to function properly in a civilization he would be the perfect parent. Also a point less for not letting you do anything, barely letting the children form a bond with you without him in between.

7/10

Aizetsu:

Aizetsu would love to have a child with you, but he would alse be very scared. He would never want to hurt a child of his, so he comes distant at times. This makes the children to not be comfortable asking for help to him but not really afraid to do so, even though most of the time they feel Aizetsu won't be able to help (he doesn't give a confident vibe). Everytime is a surprise to everyone, even to Aizetsu, when he does help, he also tries to talk to them, knows how to affection amd teaches them values ("do not make other people sad or angry").

The main problem is that it's never by his own accord, he can't do anything before asking you if it's ok or if he should do it. He trust that you know better than him even if you tell him you don't. If you don't motivate him everytime to parent the children he will be too afraid of doing something wrong to do it. He is still around even when not parenting and never hides his loce for the children, so they do grow healthy and loved even by their clearly hesitant parent.

6/10

Nakime:

Oh, Nakime does NOT want children, at all. She would abandon the to you and never see them again. She has one point because at least she would never try to kill them, but this woman is child-free. That is not the life she wants and it's not the life she is going to set for. Try to convince her otherwise and you will never see her again. Her house, her rules.

1/10

Akaza:

Akaza doesn't like children, until he has his. He becomes a protector, a provider and a guardian to them. He loves them and shows it as much as he can with both words and actions. When they are sick or need something he jumps into taking care of them. He also teach them values and skills, tell them to choose wisely their company, doesn't let them get hurt, is always present, makes sure they stay healthy and makes sure to know them well.

The main problem is that Akaza is overprotective, he acts as if they will die the second he leaves them alone, and the children feel that they lack freedom and space. He brushes you off if you try to intervine, ans since he is honest with his opinion of weaklings their children fear slightly afraid to ask for help, even if Akaza already has most things covered in a daily basis. That is also a problem since they don't start dealing with their own problems until they are older, making learning more difficult.

Akaza is a strict parent, caring but can be a bit too much at times. His children will grow into nothing but respectable adults, but they would be way too sheltered, even though they would be aware Akaza loves them and is trying his best.

7/10

Douma:

Douma is good pretending, he is good listening, he is good parent, or at least he is good at faking being one to everyone, including his child. While he would not help them, his children would be ok with telling Douma his problems, and Douma would listen and validate their feelings, but also would send them to just be happy in his cult. He would not do anything bad to them, but he also would not be actively doing anything good for them. He would leave them to you and trust you to be the parent, since he is barely aware he should step in as one.

Still, the child does view him as a parent and love him as such. They feel loved, protected and even spoiled since Douma would at least play with them and make sure they not only meet their basic needs inside his cult, but would also show his favoritism to them over other children at the cult and make sure to give them things they want once in a while. He just never make a mistake with them, and he can answer for them even if he is not attached or trying to parent them. There is also the fact that for some reason the children would feel the need to constantly change the answer of who is the favorite parent, depending on who is asking.

5/10

Kokushibou:

Kokushibou DID abandon his children and wife to chase after Yoriichi, remember? He clearly is not the type to form a bond with his own damn children. He would teach them, at chance only the eldest son, the way of a samurai. Besides that.... nothing, it's all up to you. While he would guide them to be disciplined and respectful he would alse preasure them a lot, and when he is not doing so he wouldn't even be around.

You would be the only parent, the children would view Kokushibou more as a sensei than anything else, so unless it's an issie with their learning they would not trust their needs to him whe he is, and he would not protect them or help them if it's not related to a sword fight.

He would set some positive examples and impacts at least.

3/10

Results of good parents:

Gyutaro wins. Overall a very good parent.

Akaza. Overall a very good parent.

Urogi. Overall a very good parent.

Aizetsu. Overall a good parent.

Sekido. Overall a very decent parent.

Douma. Overall a decent parent.

Karaku. Overall a half-decent parent.

Kokushibou. Overall a bad parent.

Hantengu. Overall a bad parent.

Nakime. Overall not a parent.

Gyokko. Overall 💀.

[sungnxxn]

ALLODOXAPHOBIA al-lo-dox-a-pho-bi-a is the fear of opinions. This phobia can manifest as a fear of being pressured by the opinions and expectations of others, including friends.

[college student!p.sh x female college student!reader] Genre: Angst Word Count: 1,135 Notes: BREAK UP!! (even two); Sunghoon is a jerk (ok,, ig??); written in third person; both Sunghoon and Jungwon are on the same Basketball Team; female!reader has kind of unhealthy coping mechanism; English is not my first language,, so bear with my grammar/spelling mistakes; inspired by the song: pale honey-friends PHULEASE,, read the authors note at the end,, shank yewww !!! DO NOT REPOST NOR TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION !!! :NOW PLAYING: 🎧 Pale Honey - Friends 🎸

1:19 ───|────── 4:09

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

A month had passed. Exactly a month since that one unfortunate night when their relationship ended. Since then, she had finally allowed herself to feel and breathe freely. She permitted herself to identify the sadness, the anger, the disgust, and the deep emptiness within her. Yet, she also granted herself healing and the assurance of her own presence and peace of mind. She made the decision to avoid any interactions with him at all costs, just to let herself breathe.

I set myself free in my own time now I'm all alone I really don't mind

At some point, she found herself in the stands of the basketball hall, there to show her support for Jungwon - her best friend of six years — who was ready to have a match with his team against the opposing school. As she sat there, she overheard some girls sitting in front of her gossiping about her and Sunghoon's past relationship.

Apparently, every time Sunghoon is asked about the reason for their breakup, he either shrugs it off by telling others that they didn't share the same trajectory or, if he's constantly pressed about it, he says they broke up because of a lack of time due to their tight schedules and exams. What a lie.

but would you leave it out when you tell everyone about us so much went so wrong between me and you

Trying to ignore the recently received information, she cheered silently for her best friend throughout the whole match, yet she was not able to shrug off the memories of her breakup with Sunghoon. Sunghoon has always been a man of pride, whether it was his grades, his looks, or his family's wealth. He always had everything he wanted. Yet, the only thing he did not have was a significant other. While all his friends were bragging about their relationships, Sunghoon could not help but feel pressured and down. So he decided to date her.

They met in a shared chemistry class, where Sunghoon desperately looked for a girl he could pick to be his girlfriend. He flashed his beautiful smile at her and arranged to meet up frequently, whether it was for their studies, the music they shared, or simply each other's presence. At first, he thought the feelings would come after a while, but they didn't, and he did not want to deal with that issue any further. He chose to ignore the tenderness and kept on feeding the facade of being in love.

After a while of dating, Sunghoon's constant way of vaunting about his girlfriend to his friends became very stressful and bothersome to her. She could not stand the pressure of always being the center of attention around his friends. She elected to calmly confront her boyfriend about the struggle she had been hiding deep down, which resulted in a heated argument. Sunghoon revealed his real intentions about their relationship, explaining how he just wanted to boost his self-esteem, to feel less left out, less pressured, and not embarrassed around his friends for not having a girlfriend.

She could not believe nor process the words that spilled from his mouth, so she just stared at him in disbelief. Sunghoon, not able to stand her silence, told her how much he cherished her just as a trophy to show around his friends, without having any strings attached. Soon after, she made the decision to end their relationship. Unable to look at his face anymore, she spared no time and stormed out of his college room to go to her own. Tears threatened to spill out, yet she did not cry. She did not want to cry. Arriving in her own room, she blocked his number and decided to go to sleep, just to ignore her own salty eyes.

now that it's done you can tell all your friends

After the match ended with a win for her school's team, everyone cheered loudly while she just smiled proudly at her best friend. The basketball players approached the stands, and in the crowd of the team, she noticed a familiar face—not her best friend's, but her ex-boyfriend's—Sunghoon. Sunghoon, running ahead of himself towards the stands, smiled brightly and hugged a tall and slim female figure, then a moment later, kissed her passionately. Seeing this, she looked quite shocked and felt a little bit hurt, but she hoped he treated that girl differently than he had treated her.

without me around you can take turns with everyone

Some time passed. Just as she was about to exit the toilet stall, she heard a girl running and crying into the stall next to hers, disrupting her peace. She decided to stay quiet, not wanting to startle the girl. Accidentally, she overheard the girl talking to someone on the phone. Through tears, the girl explaines how much she loved a boy and how hurt she felt after an argument a few minutes ago over a minor inconvenience. The girl continued, describing how the boy had said hurtful things to her, claiming he did not love her and that she was useless, only seen as another trophy by him. Hearing this, she froze on the spot, her own breakup suddenly flooding back to her.

She exited the stall in a hurry and walked anxiously through the school hall, her thoughts racing freely in her mind. She couldn't believe that the boy she once loved and cherished had turned into such a heartless pride machine. She could not believe that Sunghoon continued to break the hearts of innocent girls just to feed his own ego and impress his friends.

even now as I'm on my own it wears me down and I've lost control

Arriving at her dorm room, she lied in her bed and chuckled at her own hope of Sunghoon changing. Soon after, the chuckles turned into wholehearted laughter as she reminisced about the lies Sunghoon told his friends about their past relationship and their reasons for breaking up.

after all we've been through would you tell everyone leaving out how you made me feel and what went wrong

Right after, the laughter turned into single droplets of tears, which trickled down her cheeks as she realized how insecure Sunghoon must feel — unable to tell the truth and live authentically, wearing a mask while breaking hearts. She felt sorry for him, though she shouldn't have; after all, he had broken her heart. Yet here she was, and the world did not end.

now that it's done you can tell all your friends

At the end, their priorities diverged: she would prioritize her future significant other, while he would always prioritize his pride and his FRIENDS.

without me around you can take turns with everyone you can tell all your friends you can tell all your friends

Authors Note: Yellow yall,, my first ff on tumblr and ngl kinda nervous,, hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing this !! I am open for any improvements, so feedback is very much appreciated (the negative one as much as the positive),, take care everyone !! (?)

(06.07.2024)

[yanderes-galore]

If ya want I can add a scenario for this if you need any ideas! Yandaze prompts for Zenyatta: 42, 73, 52 - dredge anon >:)

Sure! I hope you like the plot I had in mind... he's a much calmer yandere than most.

Prompts found here

Yandere! Zenyatta Prompts 42, 73, 52

"Don't struggle. This is for the best."

"Holding you like this, having you with me, is pure bliss."

"My eyes will always be on you."

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Darling has some trauma/mental health issues implied/briefly mentioned, Dubious isolation, Manipulation, Dubious relationship/companionship.

Zenyatta had met you by what he feels is fate. You had went out searching for him and his teachings. When he met you... you had such am unhealthy mind.

You came to him in search of peace. Inner peace. Peace that Zenyatta was willing to offer in the form of talk and comfort.

Zenyatta became the Omnic monk you often talked to. It got to the point where you rarely left his side. You felt at home with him, often away from others to allow you to put together your thoughts.

Zenyatta felt attached to you because he began to form a connection with you. He saw how you were without him... lost. The longer he's around you the more he feels a certain love towards you.

To him, his adoration doesn't feel possessive or toxic in the slightest. You may not even sense anything like that either. Zenyatta is too... warm and welcoming to appear threatening to you.

For the most part... he's fine to be around.

You visit him and allow him to show you compassion. He often acts as a source of therapy for you. When you feel you need it... Zenyatta offers to hold you close while giving advice.

You're so blinded by his warmth and compassion you don't realize the more sinister side of things.

Zenyatta begins to feel you'll be happier with him. You come to him all the time to heal your inner pain and discord, yes? Then he feels you need him...

So why when he keeps you in an isolated home do you fight his comfort?

"Don't struggle. This is for the best."

Zenyatta's voice is calm and even. It's still soothing even when he tries to calm your panicked movements. You don't like the idea of being trapped.

"Why are you keeping me here?" You ask shakily. "What do you mean it's for the best!?"

"Here, I can properly heal you. I only wish to show you the love I hold for you. Didn't you express a wish to be away from the ones who wish to use you?" Zenyatta asks, holding out a cold metal hand to caress your face. "Please, sit and relax with me."

"I don't want to be locked away like this-" You worry aloud, looking at the monk sadly. Zenyatta appears displeased by your fear. He only wishes to help.

"I only wish to make this place your sanctuary." Zenyatta explains in a calm tone. You feel him slip an orb on you to keep you calm, the energies seeping into your mind. "My eyes will always be on you here, I promise I'll only heal you and never hurt you."

"... will you ever let me leave?" You ask quietly.

"Of course, when you are healed and able to be out on your own, I will let you leave." Zenyatta agrees, beckoning you closer. "For now, you have a lot to learn. Please, sit with me."

By sit with him you find Zenyatta pulling you onto his lap. The orb he's given you makes you feel warm inside... allowing you to relax in Zenyatta's grasp. Maybe he's right... all he wants it to heal you.

Maybe you should just trust him and rely on him... all until you're better... because he cares for you.

"Holding you like this, having you with me, is pure bliss." Zenyatta praises, holding you closer to him on his lap. Here... you really do feel at peace. You begin to wonder why you even bothered fighting him.

Or maybe that's just the orb?

Maybe you don't want to leave here anyways... it feels so safe and comfortable...

Which to Zenyatta is a good thing...

As he doesn't plan on letting you go despite his previous words.

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Maybe You Have A Anxious Attachment…

Hey, babesss I recently realized I had an anxious attachment and it was starting to affect certain parts of my life specifically my friendships. I had a lot of friendships I was clinging on to because of my anxious attachment I was giving more of myself in these friendships and not receiving anything in return while people pleasing. All of this triggered from my anxious attachment and I wanted to share the things I’ve learned that could help you if you have an anxious attachment.

What is an attachment style? 

♡ An attachment style is a kind of bond we form with others. We develop these kinds of bonds at a young age from the interactions we have with our parents/guardians. These attachment styles follow us into our adulthood.

♡ There are four attachment styles: secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

♡ Secure Attachment: You feel secure in your own space and can be open and supportive towards others.

♡ Anxious Attachment: You do not trust other feelings towards you and need constant reassurance.

♡ Avoidant Attachment: You have trouble opening up and showing your emotions.

♡ Disorganized Attachment: you do not trust. You either push people away or have an unhealthy need for closeness. 

Where does your anxious attachment come from?

♡ This attachment style is formed when a child learns that they cannot depend on their parent/guardian to meet their comfort needs.

♡ This is a result of inconsistent or distant parenting.

♡ Most people with anxious attachments had parents/guardians who were easily overwhelmed, switched between being attentive to pushing away, and made the child feel responsible for their feelings.

Signs you have an anxious attachment? 

♡ Codependency. 

♡ Fears of Rejection.

♡ Fears of Abandonment.

♡ Overly Sensitive To Criticism.

♡ Issues With Jealousy. 

♡ Low Self-Esteem.

♡ Feeling Unworthy of Love. 

♡ Trust Issues.

What can trigger your anxious attachment?

♡ Arguments.

♡ Inconsistent Behavior From Others.

♡ When People You Are Close To Are Being Distant.

♡ Someone Important To You Forgets A Special Occasion

♡ Broken Trust.

How to go from anxiously attached to securely attached 

♡  Learn Breathing Techniques. Breathing can help ground you in moments of anxiety before reacting pause, focus, and breath. 

♡ Change Your Thinking. When a negative thought or idea pops up switch your brain to something positive (plans, shopping, and vacations)

♡ Learn to self-soothe. Learn to calm yourself down in a way that is relaxing maybe that is walking, breathing, yoga, or prayer.

♡ Reparenting Yourself. Healing your inner child is the most important part of shifting your anxious attachment to a secure attachment. Inner child journaling prompts, inner child books, and so many other forms of inner child healing. Talk to yourself the way you wished your parent would have talked to you. Pamper yourself the way you wish you had been when you were a child. Be your parent<3333

♡ Express Yourself. Instead of allowing all your emotions to build up express your feelings. I recommend journaling as a form of self-help. There are other ways like art, dance, and exercise.

♡ Surround Yourself With Secure Attachment. Build friendships/relationships with people who have a secure attachments you will be able to learn what a secure stable relationship is like. 

♡ Practice Being Vulnerable. To go from anxiously attached to securely attached try to be more vulnerable while also creating emotional safety for yourself. Learn to express your feelings, needs, dislikes, and desires. 

♡ Therapy. This is a must!!! Therapy is so beneficial when going through this journey having someone be there for you and guide you. I highly recommend BetterHelp! 

♡ Practice Mindfulness And Gratitude. Mindfulness is being present in the moment you can practice mindfulness by doing meditation, walking meditation, yoga, and gardening. Gratitude is the practice of being grateful for the things you have in your life and your body. Say thank you to your body, hug yourself, and nourish your body with nutritious foods. Be grateful for the little things in your life especially the things you take for granted like walking and your bed.

♡ Self Care. Take time for yourself to do things that make you feel relaxed and loved. That could be booking a spa treatment, painting, reading, and skincare. There a many other forms of self-care.

♡ Be Kind To Yourself. This is not an easy transition you have lived with this attachment style your entire life it will take some time to change it so be patient with yourself.Positive self talk is important affirm yourself and cancel out negative thoughts with positive ones.

Healing is a scary process in the beginning especially if you’re going from people-pleasing and being anxiously attached to people to building boundaries and standards. But you need to practice all of these skills and techniques so you can grow. 

[dedenneblogs]

quincy doodle world hc / analysis time— long post so beware!!!

Quincy gets attached to others really easily. It’s mostly because he’s so used to people abandoning him, whether that be his “friends’” fully chastising him or his father being absent and leaving massive shoes for him to fill.

So he pushes people who genuinely care about him, to an extent, like Portia and (maybe) Reginald away out of fear that the people he’s naturally made to be close to in life will one day abandon him like everyone else, so becomes distant and cruel because of that.

(on the topic, i say “to an extent” because Portia’s (unhealthy) attachment can very well be rooted in her own issues which i’ll get too someday because i love sharing my crazy thoughts and Reginald could very well just been being playing butler for pay, unless his and Quincy’s history goes back further who knows though we haven’t seen the guy since the first key)

Because of this, when he’s placed into a situation where he’s forced to gain independence (after Reginald is teleported to DoodleCo City and his private jet is destroyed) he grows the closest he’s ever been to anyone in his entire life: Player, Suzie, and TJ.

Since he lets his true colors shine (which is first seen near the end of the Book key arc when he finds solace in healing your Doodles), he forms this attachment where he always feels like he has to give back to others to make them stay (the already mentioned healing, the Miracle key arc (which i’ll get to), plus really wanting to help you out in the future while you’re rescuing Suzie).

This could also tie back to his background as the son of Charles. The bullying he endures is obviously rooted in him being “DoodleCo Jr.,” so he tries to defy this image of a spoiled brat when he’s surrounded by people (you and your friends) who see him as a person.

Then again, the Miracle Key arc shows him join forces with DoodleCo again. I see this as him falling back into old habits when he was reliant off the company’s luxuries, but it seems he only joins their “side” because of TJ doing so first; if TJ hadn’t done so, it’s very likely he would’ve stuck by our side.

So I see his decision based either one of these two factors or both:

1. Quincy understands how TJ must feel. He knows what it’s like to be perceived as something you’re not (universal anomaly; spoiled brat). Not to mention it’s eluded to in game of the twos’ character arcs ironically paralleling one another (Quincy starts as a rude only to become kinder at the same time TJ to become more rude, their worst attitudes both based in the expectations placed onto them).

(it’s also funny and weirdly poetic to think the person who is causing TJ’s torment and thus behavior would very well be a Quincy from the future / alternative timeline, Zavier)

This is why Quincy sticks by TJ’s side during the Miracle key arc and why it probably stung even more to feel like he lost him after he departed from the group and devolved into a worse person. And if this continues, we could see TJ become more horrid then Quincy was at the beginning of the game, which would be REALLY interesting to see.

2. That being said, another factor that could’ve influenced Quincy could possibly be him having a crush on TJ (ok listen).

The Frigid key arc shows TJ calling out your friend group for someone having a “crush” on someone. Now, if I’m being honest, this is probably referring to Quincy and Suzie, who very well could be endgame based off their bond strengthening PLUS helping Quincy get over his issues of abandonment, which is a theme that’s revisited at the beginning of this arc through Quincy falling back into old attitudes in the aftermath of TJ leaving.

However, from the perspective of those in favor of what seems to DW’s most popular ship (look on AO3, it’s yaoi slop central there), it’s possible this mysterious pairing is Quincy and TJ. Quincy claims that TJ is his best friend, and would add onto reason for him joining him during the Oasis key arc and could further tie into his need of helping others.

That being said, I see as being unlikely. If this pairing is to exist in any form, I’d see it more as being one-sided on Quincy’s behalf, giving so much of himself for TJ but never reciprocating anything from TJ (ah… toxic yaoi— checkmate Quilt shippers /j).

BUT YEAH uh that was a lot lollllll

(thank you @taruth3mighty for influencing me to vomit my doodle world thoughts)

[bl00dlight]

Also, don't take my first ask the wrong way, I'm not really trying to argue; I just think that Aemond has been shown time and time again being so gentle with the people he cares about (Alicent, Helaena...) even when Alicent held his cheek, he held her too for a moment there. That I find it hard to believe he'd literally refuse to welcome a genuine love, especially if it's something he craves so much. I find it hard to believe that anyone is so black and white to the point of being "unfixable".

Don't worry! I know you're not trying to argue! It's all good, I like talking about this stuff girl!

And I do understand what you are trying to say, but when I say he is unfixable - what I mean is that he can't just be fixed with love and care alone.

Like with people irl who suffer from attachment issues/ personality disorders / trauma. You can't just fix them with love. And again I think it's a black and white ideal, and a really unhealthy ideal to assume you can. Because years and years of trauma and abuse isn't fixed by love. And that isn't what Ewan was saying either when he talked about Aemond being beaten by love. He was saying that Aemond is made vulnerable/weak by it.

Doe Aemond want love? yes. But that doesn't mean it will make him a better person. I've pretty much talked about everything you've said, the gentle stuff etc - in that post and explained it in depth.

He isn't incapable of those things, but he can't regulate them. He can't maintain a healthy connection because he's never had one.

When you're someone whose trauma stems from familial relationships - which I talk about in the post. You're not going to get better because someone loves you, someone loving you IS the trigger. Because love equates abuse.

My whole point was, the closer you are to Aemond the more distant he would make himself when he feels vunerable. And I think there is more evidence for that both in the show and in Ewans words then the opposite. Because I'm talking about Aemond as we now see him. The most powerful guy in the realm.

I get we all want to project our fantasies of him being this wounded bird. But I gotta warn yall, that's what most women in abusive relationship think their partner is. They usually do share love and connection. And they usually believe they can help him. And they get sucked in cycles of abuse because... well... that's what it's like.

So I mean, unless you'd have no issue with Aemond being a mass murder, treating you like shit if you triggered his trauma, neglecting you and being in control of you etc, and also him not really being attached to you... then yea... maybe he might be gentle with you. But only on the basis you're happy being used and receiving nothing in return. Because if he feels too attached - he'll push you away. Just like he did to Alicent and now to Helaena.