#heat oven to 350

[writinganon1]

@cokoweee

You are off the list 😌

I fear I hyped it up too much coz it’s literally just my old lady hobbies. I just stared at ur drawings for way too long and made ‘em needlepoint/ embroidery

THERES DETAILS AND SHADING I SWEAR!!!Tumblr just stole the quality>:( it looks cool in person you’ll just have to use your imagination

Yes I was gonna fill Cali in but I stabbed my finger threading the green and took it as a sign

Uh I forgot you’re some weird freaked up raccoon thing so I made your little sona guy normal raccoon colors. He has jorts because my little brother insisted that he couldn’t run around with a shirt and leave his balls hanging out. His words not mine 🫠

Sorry

Anyways if I had given this to you in person I would have also given you cookies from the bakery, but I can’t do that so the recipe is in the tags :)

(Look up how to make brown butter if you haven’t made it before)

Ok bye I’m sprinting away coz I’m mad embarrassed

🧍‍♀️🚙💨💨

[quiverpaw]

Okay here’s a crack ship.

barley x diesel (diesel is from Graystripe’s manga heheh :3)

i see your vision…

[uluvjay]

Baking cookies for F1 drivers after they give you a good wienering(sex)… 

(Thank you tik tok for this idea & @turcott3 for helping)

| OSCAR PIASTRI | honestly he’s confused when you present him with the tray of cookies, thinks they’re for his win but when you tell them what they’re actually for he blushes bright red and giggles.

“Really? For giving you good sex?”

But he’s still very appreciative and makes sure you see that.

| LEWIS HAMILTON | Smirky but finds it amusing, pulls you into a sweet kiss and ends up quickly giving you a reason to bake more.

“Honey I think you’ll need another bag of flour by the end of the week.”

Your home begins to smell like baked goods all the time and anytime he’s craving your cookies he knows what he has to do.

| CHARLES LECLERC | He’s slightly confused but horned. He giggles when you tell him what they’re for and while he does find it slightly silly it warms his heart. Pulls you into a sweet kiss before he eats one and praises you for the amazing taste.

“Almost as delicious as you mon amor.”

| LANDO NORRIS | He gets cocky but also finds it hilarious, definitely throws out some dirty remarks that have you blushing, he uses this to his advantage though and always asks what he can do to get more.

“So how many do I get if I get you pregnant??”

| MAX VERSTAPPEN | He is severely confused, he doesn’t understand what you mean or why you would make him cookies for giving you what you deserve but he eats them nonetheless and tells you how delicious they are.

“I don’t understand Schat, why did you bake me cookies for fucking you good? That’s what I’m supposed to do.”

| LOGAN SARGEANT | Blushes like a school boy, he doesn’t know what to say at first but composes himself and thanks you. Gives you a sweet kiss before eating one, he ends up having the plate gone by the end of the day and he makes his way into your shower later that night with one thing on his mind.

“Can you make snickerdoodles next time?”

| DANIEL RICCIARDO | laughs his ass off for a solid 60 seconds before composing himself and pulling you in for a kiss. He thanks you a thousand times before picking one up for you two to share but quickly gets turned on by the way your lips skim his finger as he feeds it to you and next thing you know you’re bent over the counter. An hour later he comes in to find the oven set at 350 and you whipping up more cookies for him.

“What flavor you makin’ this time?”

| CARLOS SAINZ | He gets so fucking cocky, the second you tell him what you made them for his smirk overtakes his face. He thanks you properly with a quickie before cleaning you up and getting you cuddled up on the couch as he heats up the cookies and gets you both a glass of milk.

“I could get use to these.”

| LANCE STROLL | He’s confused for a good 15 seconds before he starts laughing. He’s very thankful though and horned that you thought the sex was good enough to bake him his favorite cookies. Gives you a sweet “thank you baby.” With a kiss before he splits one between the two of you.

| ALEX ALBON | It amuses him, you’d mentioned doing it to him but he didn’t think you actually would until he walks in to find you plating them. He knew what they were for right away and couldn’t contain his laughter, soon your both bent over laughing.

Once they’re cooled down he devours half of the plate and praises your skill.

[deesblanketfort]

Edible cookie dough recipe for regressors ☆´ˎ˗︶︶︶

gif credits

Who doesn't love cookies? Or, alternatively, who doesn't love scraping the bowl for leftover cookie dough? Because I love it, a lot, it makes me feel very small! That's why I started looking for edible cookie dough recipes, and after some tests and adaptations I made my very own recipe!

Basic Ingredients ☆´ˎ˗

for every 1 cup of all purpose flour, you'll need...

🥣: 1/2 cup of brown sugar

🍪: 1/2 cup of softened salted butter

🥣: 1/4 cup of milk

You can use granulated sugar instead of brown sugar for a more sugar cookie-like flavor

You can use edible flours (such as: almond flour, coconut flour) instead of all purpose flour and skip the heat treating step altogether

Instructions ☆´ˎ˗

🍪: Heat treating the flour: to make sure the flour is safe to eat raw you'll need to heat treat it. This can be done in three ways

With an oven: Preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C). Spread the flour on a tray, over baking paper, and bake it for 5-8 minutes

With a stove: spread the flour in a saucepan, turn the heat to low and stir it for ~2 minutes. Be careful to not burn the flour!

With a microwave: Microwave the flour for 30 seconds and stir the flour so the heat can be evenly distributed, and repeat the process 2-4 times. Remember to use a microwave-safe bowl!

🥣: Mix in the butter and sugar, and whisk them together until fluffy

🍪: Add the flour and the milk to the mixture and mix until homogeneous. The end result should have a soft and thick texture and hold itself together well.

Adding in flavor ☆´ˎ˗

Now, if the plain cookie dough isn't enough, here's some extra ingredients for specific flavors

🥣: 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract for a classic vanilla flavor

🍪: 2 tablespoons of peanut butter for a peanut butter flavor

🥣: 2 teaspoons of coffee powder for a coffee flavor

Adding the sprinkles ☆´ˎ˗

To finish off, a perfect cookie is usually adorned with sprinkles for added texture and colorfulness! This step is completely optional

🍪: Traditional chocolate chips

🥣: All kinds of confetti, hundreds & thousands, etc

🍪: M&Ms or skittles

🥣: Chopped chocolate

🍪: Chopped nuts

Enjoy! ☆´ˎ˗

🥣: This recipe serves around 6 portions and the measures can be cut or increased for less or more portions

🍪: This recipe can be stored in a fridge for around a week and can be added to ice creams and milkshakes

🥣: This recipe cannot be baked! It was made to be eaten raw

[bluesidez]

Can’t get Firefighter Miguel out of my head because of the Miggy discord.

content warning: nothing but fluff...for now 😗

word count: 1.3k, not proofread

Next ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅𓌉◯𓇋 Masterlist

Imagine you’re trying to get into baking or something and you’re not used to your oven AT ALL.

Cherry pies? Ruined.

Apple fritters? Apple crisps.

Chocolate chip cookies? Charcoal chip cookies.

Brownies? More like burnt brownie brittle.

Your process would be going so well until it was time to actually put your dessert in the oven and it was like your oven plotted against you.

You set the right temperatures. You pre-heated. You even placed things in the right part of the oven. How is it that everything goes wrong?

The only desserts that saw the light of day were the no-bake ones. You’re not sure how much more no-bake cheesecake you could take anymore.

The day that really sets it off is the day that you attempted to make a simple vanilla birthday cake. Your friend’s birthday was coming soon and you wanted to gift her one of those cute bento cakes.

Your icing is finished and delicious. You’ve been practicing the decorations all week and they were pretty cute! The cake just a few more minutes left to bake, then you could take it out to chill.

As you’re piping a bag of baby pink icing, you look up to see that the room is a little foggy. You turn in a panic and notice puffs creeping from the oven.

“No, no, no!!!” you cry as you turn to open it.

You can’t do anything but cough as a ton of smoke hits you in the face.

Your cake on fire. Orange and yellow light illuminating the oven.

You panic as the fire seems to grow brighter once it hits the air.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god!”

Where was your fire extinguisher? You tried fanning at fire with a towel, but to no avail. You couldn’t even get to the knobs to switch the oven off.

You step back, terrified. You felt like sobbing watching the flames take over. Why aren’t the sprinklers on?

By the time you run out of your house, the fire alarm decides it can sing its tune. You call 911 with a shaky voice, hoping they can get here faster than your alarm decided to make itself known.

You stand outside peeking through your eyes as you could see the flames grow near your kitchen window.

Thankfully the firetruck makes it in time, the firefighters working quick to get inside.

One of them asks is anyone else inside and you shake your head no, thankful that it was just you.

It doesn’t take long for them to put it out and come back outside.

“Are you ok?,” one of them comes to ask you. You look up to this tall, dark, and handsome man. He’s sweating a bit obviously from the summer heat and the fire as he takes his helmet off. His hair is curly and dripping. You ogle him a bit, watching his chest move up and down.

“Do we need to call you an ambulance?” he says, placing a heavy hand on your shoulder.

“Oh! No! So sorry, I’m still a little…winded from everything,” you say, embarrassed.

“Ok, well as long as you’re fine. Do you mind telling me what you were doing?” he asks.

You cast your eyes down. Here was such a fine man standing before you and you had on pajamas and a frilly maid apron with flour splattered on top.

“I was trying to make a birthday cake. As we can see, it completely failed,” you reply. “I don’t know what happened. I followed every instruction. The oven was set at 350 degrees.”

He tilted his head at you as you whined away.

“Is this the first time that something like this has happen?”

You shake your head no, “This is the 3rd burnt dessert in a week.”

“Hm. Well I’ll have the crew here check it out.”

An hour and some change later, one of the firefighters tells you and the tall glass of water, who learn is a captain named Miguel, that you have a damaged gas line.

“You’re really lucky that you were only getting blackened sugar. One more cake and that could have been the end,” Miguel says to you with hand on his hip and another on your shoulder. “And also, never open the oven if there’s a fire. If this happens again, turn the oven off and wait until it dies down.”

You felt your head nodding, heart beating at how awkward everything felt.

Miguel looked down at you again, “Do you have anywhere you can stay over night? Or until I can get someone up here to get this gas fixed?”

“My grandma lives a couple of streets down,” you say, cheeks heated at his intense eye contact.

“Tell you what, how about you settle there for the night and I’ll come back personally to help you grab your belongings tomorrow morning?”

“That would be amazing! Thank you so much. I’m sorry for all of this,” you gesture to your house.

“It happens. Nothing you did here was your fault. Besides, I’m the captain. Fighting fires is what I do. Now, how about a ride in the truck to your grandma’s?”

You feel giddy when he practically pulls you in the truck. No seats are left so you have to settle for sitting on Miguel’s lap, heartbeat racing.

The other firefighters try to hide their smirks and snickers watching their captain hold you so softly in his arms. One big bump in the road has you clinging to him to not fall off.

You straighten back up, embarrassed by the little slip. Miguel chuckles at your actions.

You pretend not to hear their wolf whistles as he guides you to your grandma’s front door.

Miguel knocks firmly, waiting with you until she opens it.

She’s about to fuss at you for not stopping by sooner until she looks up at Miguel.

“And who is this?” she says, a bit shocked.

“My name is Captain O’Hara. I just wanted to drop your grandbaby off. Had a little baking accident.”

Your grandma listens to Miguel as he explains the situation calmly and professionally. It doesn’t stop her from fussing over you, grabbing and turning you to check for any damage.

“I’m ok grandma. I just have to stay here while my gas gets fixed.”

She thanks Miguel profusely, “Son, what’s your favorite food? I’ll have it made and sent down there for you.”

Miguel laughs heartily. You’re about to tell him he doesn’t have to answer that until he beats you to it.

“Whatever your specialty is, I’ll take it,” he says with a sweet smile on his face and holding your grandma’s hands.

“Cap! We gotta another fire at the college dorms. Someone burnt noodles in the microwave again,” a firefighter yells from truck.

“Well if you all can excuse me, duty calls!” he says and runs back to the truck.

“I can’t believe you burnt a cake! Haven’t I taught you better? And you know you’re making him that food, right?” your grandma says as you step inside.

“Grandma,” you say, affronted. “It was the oven, not me! And he might not want to even eat what I make after this.”

“Hmph,” she says, with a click of her tongue. “Well, you better get ready to use this kitchen here. You need that man as a husband.”

“Grandma.”

“I have some ham hocks in the freezer, some turnip and mustard greens. I think the church sent me some potatoes. We need to go to the store too. You gotta get him through his stomach.”

“Grandma!”

There was a silence as you and your grandma stared at each other.

“So are you thinking pork chops or catfish to go with the side dishes?” she said, grabbing a pencil and an empty envelope.

You just groaned and crumpled in your chair.

divider by: @benkeibear ❤️‍🔥

the grandma convo is heavily inspired by my own grandma lol. tagging @miguelhugger2099 @kit-and-wolfe @huniedeux @ugh-ok-fiyn because I want y’all to see this 😗

[cravefoodie]

🌮🎉 Birria Enchiladas 🎉🌮

Ingredients:

For the Birria:

2 lbs beef chuck roast, cut into chunks

1 large onion, chopped

4 garlic cloves, minced

2 cups beef broth

2 dried guajillo chiles, stems and seeds removed

2 dried ancho chiles, stems and seeds removed

1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce

1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon paprika

Salt and pepper to taste

For the Enchiladas:

12 corn tortillas

2 cups shredded cheese (such as Monterey Jack or cheddar)

1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro

1/2 cup chopped red onion

Lime wedges for serving

Instructions:

Prepare the Birria:

In a large pot or Dutch oven, add the beef chunks, chopped onion, and minced garlic. Pour in the beef broth.

In a separate saucepan, add the dried guajillo and ancho chiles. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Once boiling, remove from heat and let them soak for about 15 minutes until they soften.

Transfer the softened chiles, chipotle pepper, apple cider vinegar, cumin, oregano, and paprika to a blender. Blend until smooth.

Pour the blended sauce into the pot with the beef. Season with salt and pepper.

Cover and simmer on low heat for about 3 hours, or until the beef is tender and easily shreds with a fork.

Assemble the Enchiladas:

Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C).

Warm the corn tortillas in a dry skillet or microwave to make them pliable.

Fill each tortilla with shredded birria beef and a sprinkle of cheese. Roll up the tortillas and place them seam-side down in a baking dish.

Pour the remaining birria sauce over the top of the enchiladas. Sprinkle with more cheese.

Bake the Enchiladas:

Bake in the preheated oven for about 20 minutes, or until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

Serve:

Garnish the enchiladas with chopped fresh cilantro and red onion.

Serve with lime wedges on the side.

Enjoy your delicious Birria Enchiladas! 🌮💥

[kaijuno]

Beekeeper’s Lemon Lavender Cheesecake Recipe🍯💜✨

Ingredients:

For the Crust:

1 1/2 cups (180 g) graham cracker crumbs 🍪

1/4 cup (50 g) granulated sugar 🍬

1/2 cup (115 g) unsalted butter, melted 🧈

For the Cheesecake Filling:

16 oz (450 g) cream cheese, softened 🧀

1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar 🍬

3 large eggs 🥚

1/2 cup (120 ml) sour cream 🥛

1/4 cup (60 ml) fresh lemon juice 🍋

Zest of 1 lemon 🍋

1 tablespoon culinary lavender buds 🌿

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 🍦

For the Honeycomb Topping:

1/2 cup (120 g) granulated sugar 🍬

1/4 cup (60 ml) honey 🍯

2 tablespoons water 💧

1 teaspoon baking soda 🥄

Instructions:

Prepare the Crust:

Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9-inch springform pan.

In a bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and melted butter. Mix until well combined.

Press the mixture firmly into the bottom of the prepared pan. Bake for 10 minutes, then remove and let cool.

Make the Cheesecake Filling:

In a large mixing bowl, beat the softened cream cheese until smooth.

Add the sugar and beat until well combined.

Mix in the eggs one at a time, ensuring each is fully incorporated.

Add the sour cream, lemon juice, lemon zest, lavender buds, and vanilla extract. Mix until smooth and creamy.

Bake the Cheesecake:

Pour the cheesecake filling over the cooled crust and smooth the top.

Bake for 55-60 minutes, or until the center is set but still slightly jiggly. Turn off the oven and let the cheesecake cool in the oven with the door slightly ajar for about 1 hour.

Cool and Chill:

Remove the cheesecake from the oven and let it cool completely at room temperature. Then refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight.

Prepare the Honeycomb Topping:

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, honey, and water. Stir until the sugar dissolves.

Allow the mixture to boil without stirring until it reaches a deep amber color (about 300°F or 150°C on a candy thermometer).

Remove from heat and quickly stir in the baking soda. The mixture will bubble up.

Pour onto a lined baking sheet and let it cool completely. Once set, break into pieces.

Serve:

Slice the chilled cheesecake and top each slice with pieces of honeycomb. Enjoy your Beekeeper’s Lemon Lavender Cheesecake! 🎉

Enjoy!

[feyburner]

Cast iron loaf pan continues to be one of my favorite things ever, it consistently delivers perfect loaf cakes. In a perfect world my kitchen would have enough storage for cast iron pans of every imaginable size.

Recipe under cut, it’s basically the NYT Lemon Poppyseed Pound Cake but with some tweaks.

LEMON POPPY SEED LOAF CAKE

INGREDIENTS

zest of 2-3 lemons (the more the merrier)

1 cup white sugar

1/2 cup buttermilk (1/2 cup milk + 1.5 tsp white vinegar or extra lemon juice, stir, let curdle 10 min) or sour cream

1/4 cup (4 Tbsp) lemon juice

3 eggs

1 3/4 cup flour

1.5 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

2/3 cup oil

2 Tbsp poppy seeds

glaze:

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1 Tbsp lemon juice

1 tsp vanilla

DIRECTIONS

1. Heat oven to 350°. Grease 1 x 8-9” loaf pan.

2. Mix together lemon zest and sugar in a large bowl, stirring and smearing until the zest releases oils and the sugar is very fragrant and looks like wet sand.

3. Whisk in lemon juice, buttermilk, and eggs.

4. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt.

5. Whisk dry ingredients into wet. Whisk in oil and poppy seeds until smooth and combined.

6. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 1 hour until a knife inserted in the center comes out moist but clean. Let cool at least 30 minutes before slicing.

7. To make glaze, whisk together powdered sugar, lemon juice, and vanilla until smooth. Taste and add more sugar or lemon as desired. Brush over cake while hot to get a translucent crinkly glaze look, or drizzle over when cool to get a clean icing look.

NOTES

- Can use batter to make muffins (fill cups almost all the way to the top). Double recipe for a bundt pan.

- Instead of glaze, can also boil together 1/3 cup white sugar + 1 Tbsp lemon juice. When cake is fresh out of oven, poke top all over with a toothpick and pour lemon syrup over to soak in.

[foodshowxyz]

Chocolate Pumpkin Layer Cake with Maltesers

Ingredients

For the Cake:

• 1 3/4 cups (220g) all-purpose flour

• 3/4 cup (65g) unsweetened cocoa powder

• 2 cups (400g) granulated sugar

• 1 1/2 tsp baking powder

• 1 1/2 tsp baking soda

• 1 tsp salt

• 2 large eggs

• 1 cup (240ml) whole milk

• 1/2 cup (120ml) vegetable oil

• 2 tsp vanilla extract

• 1 cup (240ml) boiling water

For the Pumpkin Filling:

• 1 cup (240g) pumpkin puree

• 1/4 cup (60ml) heavy cream

• 1/4 cup (50g) brown sugar

• 1 tsp ground cinnamon

• 1/2 tsp ground ginger

• 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

• 1/4 tsp ground cloves

For the Cream Cheese Frosting:

• 8 oz (225g) cream cheese, softened

• 1/2 cup (115g) unsalted butter, softened

• 4 cups (480g) powdered sugar

• 1 tsp vanilla extract

For the Chocolate Ganache:

• 8 oz (225g) semi-sweet chocolate, chopped

• 1 cup (240ml) heavy cream

For Topping:

• 1 cup crushed Maltesers (chocolate malt balls)

• Caramel sauce for drizzling (optional)

Instructions

Making the Cake:

1. Prepare the Oven and Pans: Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans.

2. Mix Dry Ingredients: In a large bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

3. Mix Wet Ingredients: In another bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, oil, and vanilla extract.

4. Combine Wet and Dry: Gradually add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined.

5. Add Boiling Water: Carefully stir in the boiling water until the batter is smooth. The batter will be thin.

6. Bake: Divide the batter evenly between the prepared pans. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Allow the cakes to cool in the pans for 10 minutes, then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Making the Pumpkin Filling:

1. Cook the Pumpkin: In a medium saucepan, combine the pumpkin puree, heavy cream, brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and cloves. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until the mixture thickens, about 5-7 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool completely.

Making the Cream Cheese Frosting:

1. Beat Cream Cheese and Butter: In a large bowl, beat the cream cheese and butter together until smooth and creamy.

2. Add Powdered Sugar: Gradually add the powdered sugar, one cup at a time, beating well after each addition.

3. Add Vanilla: Beat in the vanilla extract until well combined.

Making the Chocolate Ganache:

1. Heat the Cream: In a small saucepan, heat the heavy cream until just simmering.

2. Melt the Chocolate: Pour the hot cream over the chopped chocolate in a bowl. Let sit for 2 minutes, then stir until smooth and glossy. Let cool slightly.

Assembling the Cake:

1. Layer the Cake: Place one cake layer on a serving plate. Spread a layer of pumpkin filling on top, followed by a layer of cream cheese frosting. Repeat with the second layer.

2. Add the Ganache: Pour the slightly cooled chocolate ganache over the top of the cake, letting it drip down the sides.

3. Garnish: Sprinkle the crushed Maltesers on top and drizzle with caramel sauce if desired.

Serving:

• Chill the cake for at least 30 minutes before serving to set the layers.

• Serve and enjoy your chocolate pumpkin layer cake with Maltesers!

This cake combines the rich flavors of chocolate and pumpkin with the crunch of Maltesers, making it a perfect treat for any occasion.

[lovethetasteofnothing]

Halloween headcanons - TF 141 + Valeria + Farah

includes: valeria garza, farah karim, kate laswell, simon "ghost" riley, captain john price, johnny "soap" mactavish, kyle "gaz" garrick

gn!reader, except for Laswell x fem!reader (argue w the wall), female pet names

warnings: horny behaviour if you squint, like very little; mentioned consumption of alcohol; mentions of violence (light); the rest is pure fluff

word count: 2.4k words, roughly 350 per character

Valeria Garza

you asked her to go Halloween shopping since you wanted to decorate

got everything you laid eyes on

you had to stop her from buying three plastic skeletons because you joked about having an army of them in your backyard as decorations

she'll use her enemies bodies instead

doesn't let you put out candy on the porch, the last thing she needs is little kids coming up to her door and being loud

buys you bags of candy instead

regrets it because you get a sugar rush after eating a whole bowl

now she has a hyperactive toddler running around, spewing out random facts she found on YouTube

would make you try Mexican candy, definitely sneaks something spicy in there if your spice tolerance isn't high

"Que pasa? Can't handle the heat, muñequita?"

you hold a grudge for the rest of the night (she'll make you forget about it when she gets you in bed dw)

refuses to dress up, will punish you if you try and get a costume on her

will fold if you ask her to have matching costumes with her, still won't do it because she's "a grown woman"

takes candid photos of you in your cute little costume tho, she'll probably make one of them her background if she figures out how to

forces her men to dress up in whatever you want just to entertain you, they don't dare complain about it

the guards at your door are now dressed in Eminem and Christina Aguilera (don't ask me why)

will force you to have a scary movie marathon with her

laughs at you when you get scared and cling to her, literally calls you a crybaby and bullies you for being a scaredy cat

will snuggle you and kiss your forehead afterwards

"it's okay, mi vida, I'll protect you"

ordered her personal chef to make you Halloween themed cookies

practically folds when she sees your reaction

you get another sugar rush and she regrets everything (worth seeing your cute face and hearing your happy squeal)

Farah Karim

will plan your matching couple costumes since june

helps you thrift/craft yours and constantly compliments how you look in it

would definitely buy a ton of candy to give out to little kids trick-or-treating

is so happy when she sees their little costumes, practically heals her inner child

she has baby fever now, you have to remind her she can't get you pregnant

is searching up adoption details at 3 am after you fall asleep

helps you decorate, would definitely let you decorate since August just to see your cute face light up

adds more decorations every time she sees something you'd like and buys it

you made her watch Halloween movies with you

she judges everyone's decisions and logic

starts spewing an escape plan 5 times better and doesn't stop until she finishes it

is confused when you flinch at the scary scenes since she had seen it coming from a mile away

not surprised when you try to make sweet treats but you pull out questionable goop out of the oven

"i told you that's too much butter"

helps (pushes you to the side and only lets you crack an egg) you make an edible batch instead

lets you decorate them, you manage to make two piping bags explode before she takes over again

she hides the cookies before you get a sugar rush and/or a tummy ache

is confused as to how you found them and got both a sugar rush and a tummy ache

scolds you like a mom before taking care of you

you fall asleep in her arms on the couch, Friday the 13th playing in the background

she tucks you in bed and kisses your forehead before going to look up how to adopt a devil child

Kate Laswell x fem!reader

isn't the biggest fan of Halloween but she'd play along with you, she just wants to see you enjoying yourself

mom!Laswell would dress up at your request so you guys can have family costumes, melts at how cute you and your kid/s look together

but if it is just you and her she'd refuse

similar to Valeria, she says she's too old to dress up in silly costumes

the slightest hint of a smirk on her lips if you decided to wear a sexy costume before she rolls her eyes

proud mom smile while she takes candids of you in your cute little outfit, handing out candy to kids

so concerned when she hears about carving pumpkins

keeps a very very sharp eye on you, she doesn't want to go to the ER on halloween

helps you out when you get stuck, groans and pushes through if she starts struggling with it too

a sigh of relief leaves her lips when you finish your arts and crafts project

"it looks scary, darling" no it doesn't, but who is she to tell you that and ruin your fun

pulls out the old decorations box from the attic and helps you buy new stuff too, makes the plan on how to decorate

brings you to the halloween themed party TF 141 is holding so you can be chaotic with them while she drinks with Price

if she doesn't feel like it she'd just stay at home with you, watching you hand out candy to kids and cracking little jokes

her heart melts

refuses to let you watch horror movies, the last time you did she had to sing you a lullaby until you fell asleep

every day for a week; she also had to buy a night light because you got a random fear of the dark afterwards

you made her check the closet too

also limits your candy intake, would steal a few from your pile every once in a while and shrug when you frowned at her

candy corn enjoyer, also licorice fan

has you wrapped up in her arms, a blanket over the both of you while she tells you scary stories/ stories from her missions instead

Simon "Ghost" Riley

doesn't need a costume, he's dressing up as himself, the mask is scary enough as is

or he'd just take off the mask and say he's dressed up as Simon Riley, you call him a party pooper

you dress up as him just because you can

doesn't know if he should be upset or flattered, he's crying in his head at how cute you look with his oversized clothes and old balaclava

that's now his favorite balaclava

swaps out his mask for a balaclava so you guys can call yourselves Ghost Team

stares at you when you carve pumpkins with his throwing knives, you're lucky you're his favorite person

pries them out of your hands before you dull the blades and he has to work with oddly shaped spoons on missions

stands concerningly still on the porch and scares little kids when they come to knock on your door (like those decorations that move yk)

lets you hand out candy and coo at the little kids while he watches from the hallway (he thinks he's sneaky, he's not)

he now too has baby fever

will not mention it but you can notice him inching closer until he stands right behind you while you give out the candy, his hand wrapped around your waist

you both finish the leftover candy while watching scary movies

he feels like a little kid again, would never fess up about it being healing for him

picks out your favorite candy and gives it to you subtly, literally just makes a little pile of it in the middle while he eats the rest

would complain about you decorating since the beginning of september

has beef with a random skeleton you put up

"he's looking at me funny, luv"

picks you up while you decorate and can't reach a spot

he'd deal with the electrical decorations for you

you make him try a pumpkin spice latte

he tries so hard to be nice about it before saying he had enough sugar for the whole year

"this is milk and sugar with an idea of what coffee is supposed to be like"

cleans up the candy wrappers after you crash, takes a sneaky picture of you sleeping with his balaclava on

takes it off gently because you'd manage to suffocate in it, before tucking you in

Captain John Price

rakes up the leaves in the yard while you decorate the outside

he has to do it again because you insist on jumping in the piles and destroying his hard work

makes you help him gather the leaves again "to teach you a lesson", you never learn

picks the leaves out of your hair and dusts you off (all smiley when he notices you were wearing his flannel jacket)

doesn't want to dress up so you say that he's already wearing a capybara costume everyday

you have to explain what a capybara is

proud dad face when he sees you wearing your costume

makes you do a twirl and takes so many pictures of you so he can keep them and look at them when on mission

helps you hand out candy to the little demons

gets upset when a kid calls him 'grandpa', you have to spend at least 15 minutes telling him that he's a dilf not that old and still very attractive

dad face™ when he sees you giggling and playing around with the little kids, needs one of his own with you now

kinda sad that his job makes it so hard for him to have a cute little family with you

falls asleep on the couch while you give out candy, probably sitting up too, a bowl of candy in his lap

plays it off by saying he was just taking a little rest, you call him 'grandpa' again to tease him

doesn't notice you had been stealing candy throughout the whole night, managing to eat about an entire bag by the end of the day

holds you in his arms and tries to contain your sugar rush

you kick him where the sun don't rise on accident and that's when he lets you get your wiggles out, poor pop

you apologize by bringing him a drink and cuddling him for the rest of the night, consistently saying "sorry" every five minutes or so

"it's alright, darlin' "

you offer to share the leftover candy with him as a peace offering, pop is now a puddle

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish

definitely has a dorky costume and makes you match with him

you and him have a competition about who has the better costume, he only lets you win because you're cute

still thinks his is better but he wants cuddles tonight and can't risk it

finds dumb decorations when you go shopping with him and when you tell him to put them back he sneaks them into the basket like a little kid

you wake up with the decorations in front of your eyes at the cash register and have to pay for them now

he insists on coming up with the most horrendous decorating schemes ever known to man, you follow some of them because he's sulking atp

tries to convince you to have some kind of small explosion "for effect", you turn it down because you don't want to get sued

frowns when kids get his costume wrong, chases them (playfully ofc) around to teach them a lesson

definitely scares you with every occasion he gets, you'd literally turn the corner and he'd just jump at you

you make him watch the actually scary movies because you're a horror enthusiast

"pff i've seen worse on the field" before clinging to your arm like the scaredy cat he is

carves pumpkins with you, oddly skilled at it

he helps you when your knife gets stuck in the pumpkin and your hand hurts from trying to dislodge it

blows up his pumpkin afterwards

takes couple pics with you, the sillier the better. they're his lockscreen now, will brag about them when he goes back to work

he'd try and go trick or treating before you tell him he's too old to do that

you spend the rest of the night on the couch, finishing off the leftover candy, the both of you hyperactive

would fight you because he likes the same candy as you, he wins and steals all of it

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

you make him dress up as spider man (that one mission in MW 2019), he's on board after a bit of convincing

only accepts because you promise to be his MJ

does the spider man kiss thing with you and takes pics, definitely brags about how easy it is for him to hang like that after all of those heli crashes

does whatever TikTok trend is popular at that time with you, tries to get it perfect so you can show it off to your friends afterwards

helps you choose decorations when you're being indecisive, also buys little things he thinks you'd like to add in the meantime

he'd 100% untangle the string lights while you put them up (also keeping an eye on the chair you're standing on so you don't fall)

you do actually lose your balance but he's quick on his feet and catches you, the most cocky smirk on his lips while you're blushing and your heart is beating so fast it might explode

he'd scare you too, just so he can make fun of you. also pulls random pranks on you and hides the decorations just so you can whine and complain to him

"I told you to stop being such a ditz, love" with the most loverboy grin on his face

you send him on a last minute errand to buy candy because the two of you only got your favorite kinds and you decided to hoard them for later

compliant boy, also buys you a fall themed drink on his way back

his hand is constantly around your waist or around your shoulders while handing out candy

would ask kids what they're dressed up as and gives the ones with cool costumes extra candy

you scold him for being unfair

you both decided to do a childhood halloween movie marathon, makes you feel like you're a little kid again

trades candy with you, tries to bribe you with cuddles to give him more of yours

cuddlebug!gaz who lets you fall asleep on his lap while he watches the rest of the movie (he stole the rest of your candy, your fault for letting your guard down)

[rottenpumpkin13]

So A/G/S and Zack try to deep fry a turkey even though it's more dangerous to make than oven baked turkey, how bad does it go?

*In the background, Sephiroth and Zack are standing over the sizzling oil pot holding the raw turkey*

Angeal: Alright, so the key is to heat the oil to 350 degrees, and make sure the turkey's completely thawed. If you don't, the oil will splatter all over—

Genesis: Yes, yes, we know the theory, but you're ignoring the artistry of the technique. Look at the ingredients. A touch of rosemary, thyme, and perhaps a drizzle of honey glaze—

*Zack hands the turkey to Sephiroth and bends down to tie his shoes*

Angeal: Doesn't matter. The turkey's already marinated, and Sephiroth and Zack are taking care of it.

*Sephiroth, with the confidence of a man who has never deep-fried anything in his life, dunks the entire turkey into the bubbling pot*

Zack: !

Genesis: Angeal, the real issue is that you're approaching this like an assignment. Tell me, did you even consider basting the turkey in white wine beforehand?

*The oil immediately erupts, Zack scrambles to grab a pair of tongs, panicking as the oil begins to bubble over the sides. Sephiroth simply crosses his arms and watches the flames*

Angeal: Genesis, this is deep-frying. All we need is heat and discipline.

*The flames grow larger. Zack is now sobbing and trying to splash water on the flames, which only makes things worse*

Genesis: Heat and discipline? Angeal, please. That's like saying materia mastery is all about casting the same spell over and over. Where's the finesse? The vision? The soul?

Angeal: Soul? It's fried turkey, Genesis! It's not that complicated!

Genesis: Spoken like a man who thinks caramelizing onions takes 20 minutes.

*Sephiroth gazes into the fire with admiration. Zack is now on his knees with his hands clasped in prayer*

Angeal: You know what? This is stupid. We should just bake it. No oil, no mess. Just the oven and heat and WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?

Sephiroth: Much like this turkey, humanity too will one day be devoured by its own hubris.

Angeal: WHAT THE FUCK

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Banana brownie cake

Ingredients:

6 ripe bananas

240 grams of almond or peanut butter (1 cup)

1 table spoon of coconut oil

3 drops of vanilla extract

160 grams of cocoa powder (2/3 cup)

chocolate chips and/or thinly sliced almonds as sprinkles

1. heat the oven to 200 degrees Celsius/400 F

2. mix it all together in a bowl, first with a spoon to smoosh the bananas, then use a mixer for 2 minutes to get a nice, even consistency

3. put a baking sheet on a baking pan, pour the mix in

4. sprinkle chocolate chips and/or thinly sliced almonds on top before popping it in the oven for 25 minutes on 180 C or 350 F

5. wait for it to cool

Enjoy!

[kitchenwitchtingss]

WITCHY SAGE BUTTER ROLLS

These things are really like garlic rolls meet cinnamon rolls but with delicious sage butter!

They are perfect if you have a little extra time on your hands, and can be served alone or with a dinner, stew, or any type of soup and it pairs pretty well.

Quite the crowd pleaser ^_^

INGREDIENTS

For the Tangzhong:

2 tablespoons  bread flour

2 tablespoons water

4 tablespoons whole milk

For the Bread:

4 cups Bread flour

4 tbsp sugar

1/3 cup milk

A full packet of Instant Dry Yeast

2 large eggs

Half a stick of Salted butter

Pinch of Salt

For the Egg Wash:

1 large egg

1 tbsp water

For the Sage Butter:

7 tbsp Salted butter

1 tsp garlic salt

2 tsp ground sage

1 tsp thyme

2 cloves minced garlic

DIRECTIONS:

Heat the Tangzhong ingredients over medium heat until they become very thick, about the consistency of a very thick brownie batter. It should be congealed enough so that it doesn't slide off the spatula very easily. This should take no longer than 5 minutes. Let it cool down completely (If you add it in hot, you will risk killing the yeast and the bread will not rise.

(What is Tangzhong?) Its a mixture of flour, milk, water that really steps up your game when it comes to the fluffiness of the rolls. Once you try adding this to your basic breads, you wont go back!

Bloom yeast in warm milk (Put in the microwave for about 15 seconds, it should be lukewarm, not hot. Add Flour, a pinch of salt, and sugar into a stand mixer with the dough hook attachment.

Crack egg and milk into the yeast and with the stand mixer’s dough hook attachment, mix into the flour mixture. Add in Tangzhong. Add butter 1 tablespoon at a time and mix until the dough is elastic. Then mix for another 5 minutes. If the dough looks too dry, add a tablespoon of water, and repeat until smooth. If it is too liquidy, add a couple pinches of flour.

Put the bread dough in a lightly greased medium bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let rise at room temperature for 2 hours. In the meantime, make your sage butter by beating your salted butter, garlic, and herbs.

Flour the workspace and roll the dough flat to about 1/4 inch thick. Smear all of your butter mixture onto the dough. Roll as you would a cinnamon roll, from the widest side of the rectangle to the other side.

Cover for 2 more hours for them to proof. Then combine egg and water to form your egg wash and brush it onto the rolls briefly before putting it in the oven. Put in the oven at 350 F for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

Enjoy!

[najia-cooks]

[ID: Diamond-shaped cake slices arranged into a layered star shape, topped with powdered sugar, with dates and prunes placed around the edge of the plate. Two plates of Italian Christmas cookies are in the background. End ID]

Whole orange cake with sumac and pink peppercorn

This moist, flavorful cake is inspired by Sicilian torta all’arancia (orange cake) and Moroccan مَسْكُوتة‎ ("maskūta"). There is no peeling, zesting, or juicing of oranges required; oranges are added whole, and lend the citrus oils in their peels, the sweetness and flavor of their juice, and the tenderness of their pulp to the final cake.

Maskouta is a wheat-flour-based cake that often comes in orange or yoghurt varieties—this recipe combines both versions. The addition of yoghurt makes the cake incredibly tender, and adds a smooth tartness that perfectly balances the brightness, robustness, and slight bitterness of the citrus oils that infuse the cake. Cardamom and orange blossom water, both occasional additions in Moroccan orange cakes, add delicate aromatics that further round out the flavor of the cake; sumac and pink peppercorn add a sour, fizzling touch that draws the brightness of the orange to a head at the front of the palate.

Recipe under the cut!

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Ingredients:

2 whole organic oranges

1 3/4 cup (210g) flour

1 1/2 tsp sumac

3/4 tsp pink peppercorn

6 green cardamom pods

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp kosher salt

2 tsp orange blossom water

3 Tbsp olive oil

1/3 cup non-dairy yoghurt

1/2 cup non-dairy margarine, softened

1 cup vegetarian granulated sugar

Sicilian and Moroccan orange cakes do not usually include butter; however, I find that a creaming method, which incorporates air into a solid fat such as margarine, helps replace some of the leavening power of whipped eggs.

Instructions:

1. Scrub oranges thoroughly. Submerge them in cool water (weighing them down with a plate) and soak overnight.

This step removes some of the bitterness of the orange peels. If you don't have time for soaking, or if you very much dislike any amount of bitterness in sweets, zest the oranges by taking off just the orange layer of the peel with a microplane or vegetable peeler; set zest aside. Remove as much of the white pith as you can and discard. Use the zest and the peeled orange slices in place of the whole oranges.

2. Remove oranges from water. Blend them, along with orange blossom water, until homogenous. The mixture does not need to be completely liquid.

3. Toast cardamom pods and pink peppercorns in a dry skillet on medium heat until fragrant. Grind in a spice mill, or with a mortar and pestle. Combine dry ingredients (spices, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda) in a mixing bowl.

3. Cream margarine in a large mixing bowl with an electric hand mixer for 30 seconds, until fluffy. Add sugar and cream for 2 minutes, until aerated.

3. Gradually add pulverized oranges and fold in. Add olive oil and yoghurt and fold to combine.

4. Slowly add dry ingredients and gently fold until combined. You should get a fairly thick batter.

5. Prepare a 9" x 13" (about 22 x 33 cm) glass cake pan with oil or margarine. Pour in batter and flatten with a rubber spatula.

6. Bake in the bottom of an oven at 350 °F (175 °C) for 50 minutes, or until a toothpick entered into the center of the cake comes out clean.

7. Once cake has cooled, cut into slices and arrange as desired. Top with powdered sugar.

[blushcoloreddreams]

Blueberry muffins + tips to get bakery style muffins

Muffin batter Ingredients

2 cups + 1 tbsp all purpose flour

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

8 tbsp unsalted butter melted and cooled (around 112g)

2 eggs

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup of milk

a pinch of lemon zest

1 1/2 cup of blueberries (fresh or frozen)

Blueberry syrup ingredients

1 cup blueberries

1 tbsp granulated sugar

1 tbsp lemon juice

Streusel crumble topping ingredients

1/4 cup all purpose flour

2tbsp + 1 tsp granulated sugar

1 1/2 tbsp brown sugar

Pinch freshly grated lemon zest

Pinch of salt

2 Tbsp of unsalted butter melted and cooled

(This is a blend from a few recipes that I tried to extract the best of each to combine them into something delicious. One of the original recipes called for double the streusel ingredients but after making it myself I only used half)

Instructions

Mix the dry (- the berries) and wet ingredients for the batter separately and then combine

Add the berries and let it rest

Making the sauce (in my opinion the best part of this recipe) is super easy, just heat these blueberries (I like to lightly press them) in a saucepan, add lemon juice and sugar

To make the streusel / crumble topping just mix the ingredients together

Add a 1/4 cup of dough + 1 spoon of dough to each muffin liner

Add the jam and then the streusel (be generous with it for a prettier look)

Bake them at 425 for 15 min before reducing to 375 for 10 min

Bakery style muffins

Want bakery style muffins every time?

Use these 4 tips to guarantee super-domed muffins!

1. Once your batter is mixed, let it rest for 45 minutes to allow the leaveners to active resulting in sky-high muffin tops

2. Use every other muffin well. This allows heat to penetrate on all sides of batter which will help them muffins rise.

3. Fill each well to the very tippy top so you get those perfect muffin tops that spill over onto the tin. These aren't cupcakes, so no flat tops here!

4. Bake at 425 degrees F (NOT 475! ) for 6-8 minutes to super charge the leaveners creating tons of rise. Then without opening the oven door, drop the temperature to 350 degrees F and continue baking for 8-10 minutes.

[cravefoodie]

Mini Jalapeno Popper Egg Rolls

Ingredients:

8 ounces cream cheese, softened

1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

4-6 strips bacon, cooked and chopped

3-5 jalapenos, seeded and diced

2 green onions, finely sliced

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

Salt and pepper to taste

Wonton wrappers (around 22)

Directions:

In a mixing bowl, combine the cream cheese, cheddar cheese, bacon, jalapenos, green onions, and garlic powder until well blended. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Lay a wonton wrapper with a corner pointing towards you. Place about 1 tablespoon of filling near the bottom third of the wrapper. Moisten the edges with water using your finger.

Fold the sides towards the center and roll the wrapper tightly around the filling, ensuring the edges are sealed. Repeat with the remaining filling and wrappers.

To Bake: Preheat the oven to 425°F (218°C). Spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Place the egg rolls seam-side down on the sheet. Combine melted butter and vegetable oil, and brush on the egg rolls. Bake for 5 minutes, then flip and bake for another 4-5 minutes until golden.

To Fry: Heat oil in a deep pot to 350°F (177°C). Fry the egg rolls for 3-4 minutes until crispy and golden. Drain on paper towels.