#health department up
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Been having a rough couple of days. Send me asks?
#Long story short: I’m quitting my job! Yippee!! 🎉#Don’t wanna get TOO into it but I’m so fucking tired of being treated like shit and getting blamed for things completely out of my control#I’m done. I’ve BEEN done for months at this point#And now it’s at the point where my boss doesn’t think I’m doing my job right bc she keeps finding issues that again. Aren’t my fault#I’m sorry I can’t control everything for you! I don’t have that kind of power! I can’t make things magically happen the way you want!!#My other coworkers have been undergoing the same bullshit treatment so I know I’m not alone#But yeah I’m getting the hell out of dodge. My mental health has been sooooooo bad lately#I cannae. I’m going to end up dead in a ditch at this rate#Had the WORST panic attack of my life yesterday and my mom and I were both like. Yeah. It’s time for you to leave#Have fun running the department without me! Bye!! :)))))#Shima speaks#Vent#Anyway I’m a goddamn mess. Sorry. Lol!#I’m dreading going back to work on Monday I would literally rather claw my own eyeballs out#It SUCKS bc I know none of this is my fault but I still feel like shit anyway.#And I WANT to draw bc it’s the one thing that makes me happy but I just#Can’t. Right now. I’m not in a good emotional state#It feels like physical torture to sit down at my desk and put my pen to my tablet#Slams my head into the wall#I’m soooo tired girlies. I’m so over it#Anyway. Send me asks. Keep me company while I try not to have another breakdown. Tee hee <3
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i love how every single month, around the same time, i think something cataclysmic is happening to my mental health and then i realize it's my period. so i probably don't need to be researching like, ketamine clinics, bc i'm fine. every single month this happens. like clockwork, i am gripped by panic over how depressed i suddenly feel. it's routine! and yet i never fucking remember that.
#i mean also life is rough rn for me but like. i'm not going off the absolute deep end. it's just hormones.#also do you even understand how fucking wicked it is that my period makes me sad enough that i start like#desperately missing my dad. like how fucked up is that. quit masquerading as my GRIEF you bitch ass punk ass reproductive system#god maybe i should just get this shit taken out of my body.#the kvetching department#pms#mental health#idk sorry. kms
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I have one friend who is usually the only person who ever actually calls me around this time so i didn't bother checking caller id so i just answered an unknown number by reciting the opening narration of the bee movie. They hung up
#stayed until the last line though. respect#hope it wasn't my state health and human services department#oopsie#wait come back i DO need health insurance#bee movie#shut up me
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I love having chronic migraines it kills my work flow like ✨nothin else✨
#girl I wanted to finish up my queue today#I’m on the colour stage of one and the sketch stage of another and now I can do neither#I also need to tweak a third one a little but my brain is too fried to figure that one out rn#in good news however comma i got one of my dream plushies today#i am endlessly happy in that department#also my mental health is down the toilet lol im NOT doing well but fuck it we ball#many things. work restrictions. immediate wrecking balls in my plans.
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It is clear that the protective functions of workplace health and safety have transferred to the workers through the process of corporate government deregulation and reduced funding of relevant government departments.
Steven Magee
#quotes#Steven Magee#thepersonalwords#literature#life quotes#prose#lit#spilled ink#corporate#corporate-america#corporate-culture#corporate-ethics#corporate-greed#corporate-influence#departments#deregulation#functions#funding#government#government-abuse#government-corruption#government-cover-ups#government-programs#government-propaganda#government-quotes#government-regulation#government-spending#governments#health#osha
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Love when you are having a class discussion about resources available/unavailable on campus and what can be improved, spitballing ideas to make them more useful and accessible and then of course someone inevitably brings up campus email lists because that is the primary way the school tells students about things that are happening and multiple people are like "not a great idea. i never look at my email"
maybe you should be checking your email then
they give you an email address and 5 thousand different links to access it. it's the most convenient thing in the world. the app costs nothing to have on your phone too. some of the stuff we're literally talking about is emailed to you so you know it exists and often has links to the thing so you can conveniently go to it and y'all are acting like its worthless because you can't be bothered to glance at a notification on your phone. Or go to one of the many public computers on campus to skim your inbox once a week or even month.
#we were discussing the disability accessibility tools department on campus because it's a disability class#and there were a lot of things i had no idea we even had because almost nobody seems to know this department is there#despite being told constantly by campus about other similar departments that do similar aid and accessibility things for students#I was like: they should include this with their daily email about notable resources on campus and upcoming events.#they already do that for like 5 other departments all the time. especially during welcome week and if you're a freshman#and people acting like it was a worthless thing#you realize those dumb emails are how i got a 1000 grant for tuition a few semesters ago#free vaccinations so i'm up to date despite having zero health insurance or money#and had the chance to work on a real research team as an undergrad#check your fucking email#ok rant over
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Deeeewwwwwd. I do NAWT want to fucking call the health department about this vaccine blood test hep C mf BULLSHIT save me literally anyone lol or anything
#Daughter is supposed to get caught up on vax. I refuse to unless she gets a blood test for heavy metals poisoning and whatever the fuck#And I still have fucking Hepatitis HSHFJDHSHDFJKSDBDJD AAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA#The situation with school is actually rarted#So the school legally cannot turn her away for not being vaccinated or up to date.#But the pediatrician we saw was so disgusted by the fact I wouldn't allow her to give my daughter 8 shots within 30 minutes of meeting her#that she said she isn't going to approve her for the preschool program lol#and claimed my daughter is going to hurt the other kids for not being caught up Arent they all vaxxed dumbass? wouldnt My daughter be the#one in harm's way dipshit?#Anyway. My daughters speech therapist told me to reach out to the health department because they will work with me on delayed vax schedules#or finding more open-minded pediatricians or something. And I figure#Find a fuckin doctor to cure my hep C while I am at it right
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thought too hard about costuming in tv shows and made myself sad i miss it so much
#for those not caught up on the Parker Lore:#i got three years into a ba pursuant to a career in theatrical costuming/dramaturgy#but eventually had to drop out due to a Combination Of Factors (physical and mental health problems plus the department was imploding)#and there was no point in going back to that school once all my friends had graduated#so now i'm taking online community college courses for a completely unrelated field#but i would really love to do at least community theatre again someday#costume design (and sets and props and lighting and and and) is an art form unto itself and it's so so special to me#so if you ever see me being insane about that stuff on here know i literally went to school for it and i'm probably right#my posts
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why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡
#they said i could go back to work but i did that last time and it was a pain so i took the day off#and i did a bunch of errands and Accomplished Things instead of napping which is what i wanted to do#then finally sat down to watch a movie and eat and im like....feeling guilty for not being at work#insane#to be fair the hour before i left yesterday was crazyyyy bc we had a kind of crisis#ibstayed a half hour late bc there wasnt enough coverage due to the crisis and i did my coworker's clean up for her bc she literally left#without finishing it#bc she was freaking out#crisis is one of the kids had lice lol#anyway she left without finishing her cleanup even tho the owner of the school and our boss's boss dropped by#to let us know the health department was coming thennext day (today)#and she Went Home even tho there was literally cottage cheese all over the floor wtf#anyway i was watching the kids while my supervisor bagged up all the stuffed toys and sheets and blankets etc to wash#then i did my other co teachers cleanup while my supervisor tried to do afternoon diapers but she was so late starting only 4 kids were lef#out of like 8 or 10 that probably should have been changed#so half of them went home without a final diaper change lmao#anyway#bugs 😬#i got a lice treatment shampoo and leave in conditioner but yuck#anyway i just felt really bad bc im out and they always need people but also im out on the day we're getting a ladt minute health inspectio#and i know that classroom is gross bc the cleaning crew thats supposed to come in every night has definitely not been doing that#this has been a shitpost#anyway my eye surgery hurts so bad wah 😭#its not even supposed to hurt that much but im like wicked sensitive to the light or something that it hurts a lot even w eye shields#and nobody is babying meeee#my mom made me clean the kitchen and the barn when we got home :(#my brother is making gf cookies for me tho but not bc of the surgery he just wants to try baking gf for me in general bc he's nice#also he's making 61 cookies by accident instead of 18 bc he doubled the recipe and then realized it was a recipe forngiant cookies lmao
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15. something you learned this year (while researching for a story)
Thank you!
So I opened Sunset to see when each chapter was posted because I did a ton of research for the earlier chapters, including watching all of Troy (2004) which I do not recommend under any circumstances, but this just ended up with me spending a good chunk of the day rereading Sunset and not answering your question at all.
Sadly, I didn't do much research for the chapters that were published this year. For Agua Caliente, I did look up the names of cactuses in Anza Borrego, and the names of the different camp grounds and various camping rules. I also looked up whether San Diego has eucalyptus trees (yes). I ended up on some incredibly unhinged smoothie sites and learned that smoothie people can be absolutely bonkers. Oh and I watched a bunch of videos about cat birth, ahahah.
#I think that about covers it#I did far more research for the early chapters of sunset#ATG and Gold also had me looking up scientific papers on running and various things regarding that#but that was last year#looked up various things about alcoholism for AC too#health stuff mostly#the map campus of the university#actually that goes for Sunset too#well I didn't need a map I walk that campus all the time but I looked up where the classics department was lol
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I first read and watched FMA in grad school while involved in a riled up graduate student government and watching multiple rounds of undergrad student government undergo scandals which is probably why I developed a very intricate college student government AU with just as much drama and betrayal. Now that I am involved in college governance as an employee I realize I undersold the drama actually.
Anyway as I continue my reread I am going to be incredibly self indulgent and post about this AU because a) I think it's hilarious and b) I need something to distract me from the pain suffering and indignity of having braces again.
#there are things stuck between my teeth right now.... I hate it#anyway in this AU:#Roy almost peppersprays an undergraduate#Ling steals a car#Al has incredible amounts of transgender swag#the chemistry department is complicit in war crimes? oh no!#Maes Hughes gets suspended bc someone hacked his twitter account#Winry keeps falling asleep in the health sciences library named after her parents#grad student health insurance coverage is a plot point#there is still a fucking eclipse bc there was an eclipse when I was in grad school#and everyone was insufferable about it for months leading up to it#fma college au
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[placeholder for all my emotions re: how sick to death with worry i am about my mom but which i must compartmentalize until i can get some room to breathe again]
#50 things happening w this woman's health and none of them good#folding all my fears up into a teeny tiny origami triangle and locking it up in the 'to be felt later' chest deep in the pit of my heart#the kvetching department
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lots of carefully written fics of civilian touya building a relationship with shouto, not enough of civilian touya finding a path of healing and deciding not to pursue a bond with his youngest sibling. nowhere near enough touya todoroki in so many words saying what amounts to "i've reached a place where i recognize that the pain and rage that i felt growing up comes from how endeavor treated us, and you bear no responsibility for it, and are, in fact, another victim of our father. i know that none of it is your fault. but i also cannot deny that looking at you makes me feel sick to my stomach. through no fault of your own, you are a reminder of a past where i was constantly angry and helpless and in pain. i do not hate you, but i have no love for you either. i have no desire to be your brother at this point in my life. for my own well-being, i am leaving this house and i am never coming back and i will probably never see you again. i hope you find some sort of peace from all the abuse our father has put you through. goodbye."
#dabi#shouto todoroki#basically just a classic ''golden child'' scenario#sort of lol#yes i know some exist but few of them hit that sweet spot idk#and then he moves in with his boyfriend jin#and starts making big strides in the mental health department#even better is shouto was hoping to connect with his big brother#only to receive an ''absolutely not'' response#and having to come to terms with it#endeavor on the sidelines realizing just how badly he's fucked up#that it's not just his own relationships he's fucked#but also that between his kids the damage is irrepairable
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my outfit for if i go into ng+ with this guy.
#changing it up a bit i need the helmet for poise and it looks kind of nice but i might change it#i don’t want to just dress the exact same as the npc LOL even though all his armor boosts shit…#i liked my uh blood soaked thing but tbh it was showing both my eyes when he only has one.#sote spoilers#anyway official review of the dlc: IT WAS GREAT!!!!!!#i think the balance was fine tbh i didn’t even have max scadutree shit i had like 15 at the end and it was okay. i didn’t follow any guides#for obtaining them either.#i do this gaius specifically needs some work not because of difficulty but because pretty sure him taking 99% of my health was a bug#think*#probably similar to the old bleed dogs.#so hopefully they look at that. outside of that i know radahn was a bit much but once i started using the deflecting tear#the fight genuinely became fun to me i was having a blast and it was effective.#but it is a bit much… and it’s definitely not my favorite boss LOL he’s probably one of my least favorites out of the dlc#but still he wasn’t too absurdly difficult once i got that down but that’s such a specific set up that i do wish it was more fun for#literally any other build as well.#anyway i think a solid 8.5/10 for me! i had a lot of fun and in terms of the lore it’s don’t think it’s That bad#but that’s not really my department so#gray.txt#i’m excited to play it again and actually be able to follow npc quests as well since i kinda fucked it up this run😭
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the next customer to ask me "what's wrong with your eye?" is getting thrown into the sea :)
#i have a chalazion on my lower eyelid#which is basically a lump that forms when you have a blocked oil gland#oil builds up behind the blocked gland and solidfies into a hard lump#i've had one before and it went away with warm compresses and eye wash (the standard treatment)#but this one has not gone away after a few months#and is huge and uncomfortable and extremely visible#and will need to be surgically excised given that standard treatment hasn't worked#but i haven't been able to get to a doctor for it because my health insurance is all tangled up with bureaucratical nonsense#(basically i'm in coverage limbo right now)#(waiting for multiple government departments and private companies to communicate with each other)#anyway i'm super self conscious about how it looks#and i have had FIVE DIFFERENT STRANGERS at work#all but one of whom were adults who should know better#just be like ''HEY WHATS THAT THING ON YOUR EYE?''#as if it's remotely polite or appropriate to ask someone you don't know about some clearly medical issue they have#feels great feels great#cass says things
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a truly blessed thursday is upon us bc on top of the tlovm trailer and cr3 tonight, my top surgery consult got moved from march to january
#not cr#which was already moved up from may to march bc i sent an alarming enough health report to my pcp#that she reached out to the plastic surgery department and was like#hey my patient's had his second rib injury can we scoot him in earlier#given that i have been of and on trying to get top surgery for 5 years#and actively trying for a full year#it's a colossal relief to be this close#maybe i will stop being tachy whenever i leave my house once i get to stop hurting myself 50 hours a week#imagine that#(i am deeply bitter about being forced to wait 5 years when ppl even in other states have nigh instant access but)#(we are gonna focus on the positives goddammit)
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