#he's not trying to find loopholes!!! he genuinely doesn't get it and is doing his best to work with what he's given!!!

[fizzyghosts]

Hywel is inspired by a mix of my issues with stories with nonhuman protagonist/about nonhumans becoming human AND vet posts ive seen warning people about the dangers of anthropomorphisizing animals. Its fine to joke about your pets doing things out of spite or other human emotions, it does put you at risk of not being able to read their body language correctly. Cats dont cry out of sadness, a cat crying, with actual tears streaming down its face, is a sign of a medical issue. A dog smiling isn't doing it bc its happy, it means its nervous. Not being able to spot these is bad, and sometimes even dangerous, for you and the animal.

If you never get past Hywel's human appearance and treat him like one its like getting a reactive dog, doing zero research or training, and then taking it to a dog park. If Hywel mauls someone in town then its on you.

[grievedeeply]

Hello there :) I see you take BG3 requests now, if it’s okay please could I request headcanons for Astarion, Gale, Wyll, Dammon and Karlach falling for reader who always goes out of her way to help them with anything they need 💙💙

decided to take some liberties with this prompt and expand it out a bit to them just being super helpful overall as a person, but going out of their way to help them in particular lol. hope you enjoy anyways and thanks for the request! sorry if these are short I didn't want to be super repetitive

astarion, gale, wyll, dammon and karlach with a helpful s/o headcanons

astarion

he's used to you being incredibly helpful by now. helping out the tieflings in the grove, helping to rescue halsin from the goblin camp.. it's in your nature, he thinks

and with him, you acted the same. only your behaviors increased tenfold with him

you went out of your way to help him, and he isn't sure of why, really. but you won't see him complaining. the less work he has to do to make it by, the better.. and you seem happy to assist, so why not enjoy it?

you tend to offer your neck up to him whenever he's feeling particularly hungry. it's the first time you do this when astarion really realizes you're always a bit more attentive to him than with anyone else

still, he jumps at the opportunity for a free meal. it's not as though he doesn't appreciate it, but he'll always wonder what's going on in your mind whenever you decide to help him out in that way

he's used to being seductive and a bit flirty.. but he notices that with you it starts to feel different. he hates the thought of falling for you, feeling something real and genuine in that way wasn't exactly a familiar thing to him

but he knows you'd treat him well. after all.. you're already this helpful now. but if you were his? he could only imagine how things could change

gale

he doesn't understand it. why you're so helpful

he's very thankful for your help, but he wonders why you always make the extra time to find an artifact for him. days before he needs his next one, it's already in his hands, ready for consumption and it's always because of you

he doesn't want to overthink it. but he will

do you think that he's not as capable as everyone else? is it just out of the kindness of your heart? whatever the reason, he tries to refuse any unnecessary help

even though he appreciates it, he wants to see you spending more of your attention on yourself. he loves that you care for people and especially him, but he wants you to take care of yourself first and foremost

he realizes he's falling for you relatively quickly. no one else in his life had really looked out for him in the way you have. you're special. you're kind and you're.. lovely, really

he adores you, and he'll return your helpfulness in kind!

wyll

oh... wyll

he's so sweet. he's always looking out for you, just like you are for him. you're so incredibly protective of him, especially when mizora is involved

you're trying to find a loophole in his pact whenever you can, and he realizes he's falling for you as soon as he sees how serious you are about this whole thing

he falls hard. no one else had really shown him this type of care before, and he feels appreciated whenever he's with you. you see him as wyll. not just the blade of frontiers

he sees how much you care about other people, too. he sees your heart and your kindness, and he just adores it. it's hard to come by people as genuine as you. he counts himself lucky to even be in your life at all

dammon

he doesn't think he needs the help

he enjoys your company at the forge. you keep his mind occupied and you keep him talking. sometimes he gets so lost in his work that he forgets to eat or drink

but he still doesn't think he needs your help. he's used to doing everything by himself, and he's not exactly the biggest fan of change

but when you start organizing the materials and metals laid about.. it's really nice. he won't say anything or bring it up at all, but he does notice everything you do for him

you'll make him a snack every now and then. you'll tell him to take breaks— things that he forgets to do sometimes— and spend time with him when you're able to

he likes you. a lot. he doesn't admit it right away, but he knows he does. he feels the ache in his heart. he would be a fool to not like you

he'll tell you eventually. hopefully

karlach

she's beyond appreciative of you in general

you're so sweet. it's a big change from her life with zariel in the hells, so she jumps at the opportunity to talk to you whenever it arises

she notices how you jump to help whenever you can as soon as she meets you. after all, you believed her about the paladins when she was practically a stranger

karlach tells you about her infernal engine, and you're constantly trying to find the infernal iron she needs. wherever you go you're looking for it

it puts a smile on her face, knowing that you care so much about her..

she develops feelings for you pretty quickly. you're kind, you're able to see her as more than a soldier.. and that's more than she's had in a long time

a little unrelated, but she's so happy when she gets to touch you. like... over the moon happy

[starlightswordfight]

rescue corps headcanons because I'm insane

(there are many)

– mirror pronouns pom

– that's all I got

– man!!

– Bernard started TALKING in this specific MANNER for the BIT years and years back and now he can't STOP he is STUCK someone HELP him

– he ALSO might be doing it to try to put EMPHASIS on the words he believes should have it and sometimes HE DOES not succeed

– he reads as ADHD coded to me but it might be because I also talk like that so take that with a grain of salt

– "HEY GIRL. I MEAN ANY PRONOUNS"

– Bernard had the most normal home life by far. No contest, won by default. I have a GREAT relationship with both of MY parents because they LOVE me

– he is incredibly observant. alarmingly so. will sometimes act out of the loop on purpose, if he thinks things would just be easier that way. accidentally learns everything about everyone, the guy's an information magnet and he doesn't know how to feel about that

– do you guys think Russ has made a spacesuit with the doc ock arms because I think he has and that he actively uses it on missions

– occasionally jumpscares people and giggles about it. he got the tendency to do this from his mother, who can smell fear

– while I doubt Russ would do things "for the bit" he would ABSOLUTELY act on impulse in the name of the scientific method. this has gotten him hurt before. it's fine

– does not make coffee he just eats the fucking grounds. "it's a Giyan thing, you wouldn't understand" this is not true at all he is LYING

– Russ and Yonny get into frequent arguments (light banter) about literally everything and I mean Everything. They could work together they'd be really powerful that way, but they don't

– Russ has so many genuinely funny science puns that he makes and no one ever gets them and it devastates him

– except for Yonny, who is too busy searching for ethics guideline loopholes to acknowledge that he understands the joke

– Yonny has the most HORRIFIC life stories and will drop them CASUALLY. thought they were funny, is only now beginning to realize that it does in fact make people concerned and uncomfortable when he does that

– prefers paper books to digital because he's prone to headaches!! cites "phone bad book good" as the official reason but that's not the reason

– nonbinary and evil. presentation tends to "default" as masc but switches up often! hey girl I mean any pronouns

– knows like a hundred million dead languages for absolutely no reason

– makes art in his spare time because murder is wrong

– Shepherd sleeps with a nightlight, or at the very least can't rest well in complete darkness!! she's just like me fr !!!!

– "she snores" thank you duncan for your contribution. honk shoe

– also I think she might be autistic I can't fully back that one up do not ask me to but look at her. she cares about dogs the way I care about fish

– prone to coming across the wrong way, tone wise. very very good at giving backhanded compliments that were meant to be fully sincere and just got horribly lost in translation. this keeps her up at night. she feels AWFUL

– big fan of karaoke!! not exactly GOOD at it but we love her initiative

– as afraid as she is of the pikmin, their voices and funny little words are very catchy and she does find herself repeating them often. she will not admit this. it is embarrassing

– Collin is also autistic. I could make an entire separate post on this I'm being so goddamn serious, I have so much reasoning, I am fully confident that he is, and that he masks REALLY hard, and it enormously fucked him up

– special interest in machinery (NO ONE saw THIS coming)

– transmasculine. his name is a pun on "call in." heard the phrase and realized he had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

– we only hear about his grandfather, and not even from him; no other family is mentioned at all!! went no contact with like everybody else, above points might be why. people with normal childhoods don't stand like that

– adding onto the canon sleep talking with sleep movement! a LOT of it! has probably kicked someone before!!

– "he wakes up upside down" thank you duncan

– i think maybe Dingo might still have glow stick light up bones. will rediscover this one day during an expedition mishap and it will be an Experience

– not a hc but Dingo is the type of guy to get bit in a zombie apocalypse and not tell anyone until the literal last second

– "he would also say "fuck my stupid baka life"" thank you duncan

– would fight by rolling up his sleeves and jumping around cartoonishly. he would more likely talk like he's winning the fight when he is in fact actively losing. "had enough yet? (on the floor)"

– definitely games and he wins the competitive ones by button mashing. "I'll never tell you my strategy" he prays that's the strategy

– his sleep schedule is NOT normal. it's so beyond skewed. he either gets like 2 hours of sleep or he wakes up the following night not knowing what year it is

[you-can-call-me-fangs]

It’s cool that your talking requests! So, can I have illumin with a sick reader or we meet illumins family or something like that we would be dating him to. Preferably male reader but gn is good to.

Also can I be 🧀-anon?

Thank you for being my first request 🧀 anon! 💛💛

Also I'm sorry if this ended up being a little too self indulgent for me but I can't help it I had too much fun coming up with headcannons for the Zoldyck family because they're so...themselves, ya know? They're fun to build headcannon ideas off of

Meeting/Being Apart of the Zoldyck Family

When the adults in the Zoldyck family first met you, well they didn't like you, it's not that you did anything wrong you're just an outsider and they can't help but be wary of you especially when your being introduced as Illumi's boyfriend

I mean if the Zoldyck family can be transphobic is it really a stretch to think their a liiittle homophobic too?

Silva is just straight up in denial

He refuses to call you Illumi's boyfriend, instead he'll call you "Illumi's friend"

You and Illumi will call him out on this but he'll keep on "messing up" (you know damn well he's doing it on purpose)

Kikyo is bit more excepting, but not of you, she doesn't think anyone is good enough for her precious son though

It doesnt help that she believes every gay stereotype she's ever heard, she will honestly pull up on you with something like, "I thought you people wore rainbow colored clothes?" and will be genuinely confused if you aren't wearing rainbow colored clothing

Zeno just thinks Illumi is going through a phase by dating you

In conclusion you being Illumi's boyfriend makes the adults in the Zoldyck family confused and uncomfortable and I take pure joy in this thought

The kids are a different story, none of them care too much about you being there as Illumi's boyfriend

I actually headcannon that Illumi can get along pretty well with all his siblings he just doesn't see them enough

At first Killua isn't too fond of you and even actively avoids you, it's his way of being cautious around you, even if Alluka likes you (which she most definitely does, who doesn't Alluka like?) he still tries to be careful

Like, you're willingly dating Illumi how stable could you be?

However once he realises that you're a pretty cool dude he'll actually start hanging out with you a lot, he'll damn there latch himself onto you

You'll go skateboarding together, pull pranks on people together, hang out with the rest of Killua's friends, and so on and so on, you'll even start to have your own inside jokes

You and Killua call each other step-bro in front of the adults (mostly Silva) to try an get a rouse out of them

Illumi will lightly reprimand the two of you but he will never do anything too serious cause he secretly thinks it's funny too he just can't show it in front of his parents

Basically you and Killua have a lot fun together and are known to also cause a little chaos

Illumi will never flat out tell you that he's jealous about the all the time you get to spend with Killua, but he is, you can tell because after you and Killua hang out Illumi will ask you everything he can about Kil

Was he having fun? Was he smiling? What were some of the things that he liked? Did he ask about him?

You've tried to ask Killua to go out Illumi more often but he will refuse, you did find a loophole though, Killua will hang out with Illumi as long as you're there

You try to do this as much as possible so Illumi can actually see Kil for once without him being mad or scared of him

Milluki hates playing video games with Illumi because he always miraculously wins, has never played a game in his life but will still get a W and then be like "oh, I won"

Milluki just sees this as a massive insult to his skills so he'll play against you next to boost his ego, he is still a pro gamer after all, this boy spends way too much time on his computer to not be one

When Milluki was younger and it was just him and Illumi, Mil was the type of younger brother to hide behind his older brother and talk shit from there because nobody would mess with him with his tall scary looking bro standing right there, right?

This changed somewhat since Illumi puts more of his time and focus into Killua now so Milluki switched all of that energy to you

Now Milluki will get behind you and shit talk from there, Mil sees you like a brother so that's cool

Has that "don't make me call my older brothers to come down here and whoop your ass!" type energy

I think Kalluto and Illumi already get along surprisingly well

Kalluto will follow you and Illumi around the same way he does with his mother

Kalluto will randomly gift you little paper cut outs or paper origamis he made while you're at the house, it's his way of showing he likes you

Illumi and Kalluto can both be so quiet and keep to themselves so much that being around the two of them can be one of the few times in the Zoldyck house where you can have some peace and quiet

Similar to Killua hanging out with Illumi, for Illumi to hang out with Alluka you'll have to be there

Cause Illumi is under this weird impression that Alluka isn't apart of the family or something (which we all know is bullshit) so you have to be there so he'll have a reason to stay

You definitely have to correct him several times on Alluka's pronouns, don't worry he'll get used to it he just needs some practice

Also Illumi truly enjoys playing with Alluka, they get along very well

Alluka is child like in a way Illumi probably never got to be so being around Alluka and kind of playing in her world helps Illumi be a little childish too, which he likes

Alluka would be trying to play dolls with the both of you, braid your guys (mostly Illumi's) hair, play dress up, etc.

The other Zoldyck siblings will go to you and Illumi first before their parents when they have a problem

For instance, if they're arguing and they need an adult to help them tell the other to stop bothering them or if one of them has a nightmare and they want to sleep with someone else they go to you and Illumi

[the-gateway-to-madness]

So anyway Ducktales 2017 is super fun for me because I'm literally exactly like Louie except I have a deep-rooted fear of becoming him because I live in reality and not a mansion-

There's satisfaction for him in finding loopholes, putting together the pieces in various situations, and being the strategist, but at the same time he can't think too much about the future or he'll stress out (given the fact the creators of the show confirmed Louie is like this because he grew up poor and took on a lot of that pressure emotionally, I assume that's part of why he doesn't plan for his future, but anyway-).

For him, that means coming up with strategies and tactics in the moment, on adventures. For me, that means finding ways to carefully integrate fictional characters and OCs into established worlds, analyzing things and picking them apart. Either way, we're not planning ahead all that far, both trying to escape reality.

And he's smart. Like, REALLY smart. But he's insecure about it because he's not book-smart in a family that really values book-smart. His family never really makes him feel bad for not being their kind of smart, just for the actions that stem as a result of it (his schemes, for example). You can tell they don't understand how he thinks, except Della (i, too, have a parent who gets me and a parent who does Not), and he has a lot of emotionally vulnerable moments with her because of that.

He only lets down his guard and genuinely connects with people he really feels get him, even though he's very eloquent and perfectly capable of casual connections with almost anyone. Same. I'm deeply, almost self-damagingly empathetic- my emotional attachments are a point of great vulnerability for me. I've chosen to embrace that vulnerability and the closeness and care it can bring me, but that's not a very natural choice for Louie like it is for me.

A lot of society only really seems to value "math-smarts", like what Huey has- more rigid intelligence, strong memorization of facts and figures, and being adept with numbers if you're lucky. But Louie has "language-smarts". Flexible, adaptable to different situations, but wow you don't come off as smart most of the time when you're this kind of smart. I was reading at a 12th grade level in 3rd grade- I know for a fact I grasp the English language at an abnormal level. But that intelligence really isn't applicable in a lot of situations, and I 100% recognize the form of lacking-self-esteem that comes with it- the form Louie shows consistently in season 2. For him, his linguistic, flexible, imaginative intelligence comes out as strategizing, lying, and scheming. For me, it comes out as quick, easy storytelling/writing with friends.

We share an ability to see patterns others don't while missing the patterns others do see.

Our kind of intelligence comes with this- very basic level of practicality. I hate sports because they seem unnecessary, over-hyped. I don't want to do a lot of very societally normal things because they seem convoluted and not necessary for happiness. I engage with television and movies because I find the construction of story and characters fascinating.

It all makes me feel like I'm lazy or can't ever do enough because I just... don't have an interest in a lot of things that people think one should. It's like- there's this level of intrinsic, constant self-awareness and practicality in me, to the point where I feel incapable of engaging with anything that doesn't interest me.

Combine that mentality with the burnout and emotional strain of being under severe financial pressure your entire life and, more specifically, not being able to do anything about it or get out of it- so why try to do anything at all? -, and bam, you get Louie Duck. He's motivated by money because to him money = comfort, and comfort = safety.

I also started consciously knowing what it'd be like and feel like when my childhood ended at something like- age 15 or 16. I was desperate to cling to the freedom, the lack of responsibility, the privilege of a safety net- for years. I see some of that in Louie too.

Oh, and of course Bobby Moynihan sold it. Really just went all in on giving Louie depth and feeling, 10/10 incredible performance-

Point is, it's cool to see someone who thinks like me actually portrayed pretty accurately onscreen. Thanks @suspendersofdisbelief :)

[meggannn]

Three Houses/Hopes x Taskmaster

AKA here's how I think the kids would do in a school-wide Taskmaster competition.

notes/explanations/ramblings under the cut

GARREG MACH STAFF

My thinking is that this is a lighthearted team-building game across houses, like a school sports day, so that’s why it’s students-only. If the staff participated, here's how I'd categorize them:

Rhea: I do not see a universe in which she participates lol. like I try to envision it and it does not compute

Seteth: just does the task

I included Cyril above just cause of his age and his likelihood to become a Garreg Mach student post-canon. He's only in “asks for help” because he needs someone to read the tasks out. After he hears it he’d be “just does the task.” But I wanted to put someone else in the bottom category with Hilda lol

Hanneman: would fall under the “distinguished older gentleman who completely loses his marbles over something small” category if there was one. Otherwise, loophole user or overly competitive

Manuela: I didn’t make an “older woman who makes every task as horny as possible” category, but if she was involved I’d make one just for her

Gilbert: gets distracted by something small, like categorizing all the rubber ducks by color or cleaning up after himself, and forgets to do the task. In this tier, “doesn’t give a fuck”

Catherine: overly competitive

Shamir: just does the task

Alois: does his best with mixed results

Jeralt: doesn’t give a fuck

PLACEMENT NOTES

Alois as Taskmaster was something I came around to after the subreddit recommended it. He'd award a bonus point randomly to whoever genuinely laughs at his puns.

I considered Seteth as Little Alex Horne, because he does have a sense of humor, but I think he's too genuine of a “straight man” to join in the spirit of the game. I do think he'd do well in the studio portion, reciting the stats and calling out mistakes/quipping back when the conversation gets rowdy.

But I like the thought of Byleth as the assistant for the recorded on-site tasks as someone who: 1. would get their hands dirty, and 2. doesn't mind the students making fun of them. Either way, I think a hard-working assistant (Seteth/Byleth) carefully planning all of these tasks only for the results to be judged by Alois who decides winners on his whims would be a funny inverse of the Davies/Horne dynamic, and very on brand with the show.

I thought about putting Ingrid in the “just does it” category but I think she’d get competitive if it were a game of BL vs other houses. If it’s just her house, she’d just want to have a good time. If it’s vs the other houses, she wants to represent her country well.

Annette is in the competitive category because she reads the task and immediately gets to work once the timer starts. Too concerned with Doing a Good Job and doesn’t read over the task and think it over, much less check under the table or look for any hints.

Claude also could have been in “overly competitive” but I think he’d have too much fun trying to find loopholes that he wouldn’t care about winning, he’d just try to have a good time bending the rules as much as possible or getting a rise out of the TM+assistant. Like Rhod Gilbert but with less antagonism.

Petra is in the loophole-user category because she is smart, and I think her second-language skills would help her here. She’d read instructions and interpret them as the Rules as Written, not Rules as Intended, which comes in handy in this game.

I haven't played Scarlet Blaze yet, so admittedly I had to make an educated guess on Monica based on content I've seen at a glance and fandom reactions to her.

Lysithea is ambitious in schoolwork and stuff that matters, but I think for something this nonsensical, she’d just do the task to get it over with. That is assuming she shows up at all.

I was torn with Sylvain because he is the type to show off, but since this is something that ultimately does not matter, he doesn’t want to try hard, fail, and look like an idiot doing something stupid like Felix or His Highness, so I think he’d just be in it for a good time. He occasionally wins without even trying, which absolutely infuriates Felix, who says he does not care (he does care).

For Felix himself I swung between “overly competitive,” “just does the task,” and “doesn't give a fuck.” But I think he's competitive only in certain things (he wouldn't get bent out of shape if he can't draw a horse with his feet), and I think he is too passionate a person to put in no effort at all. For most tasks I think he'd fall somewhere in the middle in terms of effort, thinking this is all stupid but still privately kind of wanting to do well.

SUBCATEGORIES

Subcategory 1: “Does the tasks while wearing a unique/weird Taskmaster outfit” includes Sylvain, Caspar, Hilda, Flayn (Seteth helped her make it), and all the house leaders. Dimitri and Edelgard got convinced into wearing one by their class. Claude was down to wear one immediately.

Subcategory 2: “Does good on the art tasks and nothing else” includes Ignatz, Flayn, and Bernadetta

PRIZE TASK IDEAS

I see Claude making a running gag out of his prize tasks, like something that embarrasses Edelgard or Dimitri every single round but it's always a tossup who it'll be. Like for "bring in the thing someone will miss the most," he'd bring in all of Dimitri's left shoes. Claude would also bring in the Sword of the Creator for "most high-octane item" and it's unclear whether he stole it or Byleth lent it to him because she thought it'd be funny.

Caspar would get a tattoo of the Taskmaster.

Raphael brings in the grilled cheese/cheese toastie box for "best subscription."

Hilda would be a big-time bullshitter like Judi Love trying to talk up all of her prize tasks.

Petra would bring in a reindeer skull for "most unusual item."

Hubert would find some way to bring in human blood in every task.

In a shocking turn of events, Ashe would steal the Spear of Assal for his "best stolen item."

Leonie is responsible for the "And I haggled for it" running joke, but it's unintentional.

Someone like Edelgard, Dedue, or maybe Ignatz would bring in the puzzle box, I'm not entirely sure who, but what I DO know is that Sylvain is responsible for "Just open the box, you p***y" and Byleth calmly stands, motions him over, and pulls him outside to chastise him while the entire class watches in disbelief/horror.

Ingrid brings in the laminator. It's by far her proudest moment in the competition.

MISC NOTES

Edelgard would be like Victoria Coren Mitchell: She'd keep trying to apply reason to the tasks, with mixed results, but on certain things (that may or may not even help her in the competition) I think she'd shine. Like when Victoria calculated everyone's scores in her head before Alex and Greg did, or when she taught herself how to ride a bike on camera just to complete the task.

Dimitri would just try to have a good time, but the assistant would need so many extra props because he'd end up breaking a lot of the materials. He would do excellent on all the food tasks though. In "Eat this egg the fastest" he'd just break it on the counter and swallow it raw.

Claude would get caught out by the two-part tasks every time because he'd try to be so clever working on Part 1 that it'd end up fucking him over. He'd make the obscenely tall chocolate sandwich for "make the most exotic sandwich" only for the second task to say he now has to eat all of it as fast as possible.

Felix mockingly saying "All the information is on the task" becomes a meme. Most of his tasks are crumpled from all the times he's clenched his fist in anger.

Leonie + Hilda on a team = Ed Gamble + David Baddiel. "Can I just check, have I been put on a team with Hilda Valentine Goneril?"

Solo tasks: The TM would probably want to give all the house leaders unique tasks, e.g. making Edelgard count all the beans in a can or Dimitri send him 500 cheeky texts. But I think Felix, Ferdinand, Hilda, Sylvain, or Lorenz getting extra tasks would be best for entertainment value. I think Felix is the only one who might be a sore loser about it, but god it'd be funny (even Lorenz might laugh it off if he sees it ~endears him to the public~ or something).

[icharchivist]

I'm sure somewhere on the Grandcypher is like a club meeting for those who have tried to kill MC before, where they get together and talk about their experiences. Like why they tried to, what drove them to it, how they've changed, how to cope with the guilt etc

Sandalphon is super pissed about having to attend still, but he provides coffee

Lu Woh is definitely offended. It was a test. He wasn't actually trying to -

Everyone avoids Lobelia :)

HELPPPP the club meeting of shame.

Sandalphon can't even go against it, his motives were fully evil, he just regrets, so all he can do is try to drown his guilt in coffee during the meeting. While yes, Lu Woh would try to defend himself so hard.

All the Evokers are here also, because they really tried. Nier especially would weep about how she just wanted to be loved.

I think the Eternals count too because if i'm not mistaken they all kinda went berseks in their 5* trying to kill MC? But also, Feower genuinely wanted to kill MC in his recruitement quest, and we have Seox who almost did when he was drugged by Nehan. So at least those two are forced to attend as well, Seox full of guilt again, Feower pouting a little like "sure i wouldn't do it again. But like. can you blame me." "yes" "listen.". Oh right and Tweyen too tried to kill us during her recruitement quest, more to test us and test herself. She's definitely at the reunion too.

Nehan probably has to come as well since it's his fault Seox almost killed MC so it's kinda him who tried to kill MC. He's too out of it to care.

if "tried to kill MC because of mindcontrol" is on the table, Siegfried would also have to be here. Siegfried is mostly here to take notes about who else he has to look out about.

Enyo is in the center of the room. People ask her *when* she tried to kill MC. She smiles and goes "oh, everyday i try a little harder.". everyone ends up putting her on a watch list.

Does Fiorito being tasted with killing MC and just finding a loophole to not do it count as well? because i feel like Fio would be mortified about being in this group but feel like it's what she deserves.

Aglovale would also have to come to those reunions, come to think of it. He still feels guilty but he won't let it show because he's surrounded by so many potential enemies. He's looking around for who he will play mindgames with.

Geo should come the moment the Cosmos fam manage to bring him back to them; I believe.

Honestly most ex antagonists would end up on this reunion tour.

but yes, they'd avoid Lobelia as much as possible.

and sorry if i miss any but it's all i can think of at the moment --

the more he meets them the more Lu Woh is convinced he doesn't belong in this group. also what the fuck danchou why is there so many people who tried to kill you in your crew are you INSANE--

[thedilucharem]

"Huh? Taxes?"

Inspired by a fierce need to keep my mood as alleviated as possible and thoughts about how they view taxes as well as some speculative world-building as per usual. Written in one shot as beta is for cowards. Borders on crack, but I attempt to keep the authenticity of the characters alive.

One evening in Spirit's Keep . . .

Beidou: (slightly buzzed, wipes her upper lip of beer) Did I ever tell you about the time I was tax-exempt because I was clinically dead for over two minutes?

Childe: (pauses, asking in disbelief) What?

Beidou: (casually) Yeah, I get it, Liyue's tax laws get really weird once you start really thinking about them. I think you can still get tax-exempt if you're brain-dead for more than two weeks though, right?

Zhongli: (nods, holding his teacup) I believe so.

Childe: (to himself) What the actual fuck?

Zhongli: (did not hear him or did not care) This exemption was originally written into law as some individuals during the times of the Cataclysm did indeed die, but were able to come back to life through certain means and circumstances. (pondering) I believe they were legally referred to as 'the undead', though I can't think of many extreme examples like those that would apply to today's age.

Beidou: Yeah, and the loophole doesn't work even anymore either since a couple folks in the Qixing patched it up. (elbows Childe lightly, jokingly) So don't go trying to die on me, eh?

Childe: . . . would a Snezhnayan even get one of those exemptions?

Beidou: (shrugs) Probably not, as you ain't from here and they tax you different over there.

Childe: (under his breath) That was a rhetorical question. (to Diluc) Comrade, does Mondstadt have anything like that in your taxes?

Diluc: (simply) I don't pay taxes. No one in Mondstadt does.

Childe: (stupefied) Huh?

Diluc: (sighs while putting his grape juice down) Due to Mondstadt's history and recent events, the Church of Barbatos sees tax collection as 'heresy' and will actively put a stop to any attempts like it that start to pop up.

Childe: . . . But how does that even work with how your public stuff is set up?

Diluc: (matter-of-factly) Citizens are encouraged to donate and most of them do so happily. The wealthier families see it as some sort of 'honor' to fill the coffers, though it's more for the sake of tradition than anything.

Childe: And you do too?

Diluc: (coolly) My time, service, and contributions are more than payment enough.

That is a resounding no.

Childe: (slowly) . . . sure. (to Itto) And you?

Itto: Hmm? (looks up from a half-painted figurine, paintbrush in hand) What's up?

Childe: (curiously) Your taxes, comrade. How do you do them?

Itto: (genuinely) What are taxes?

Zhongli and Beidou promptly spray their respective drinks through their nostrils in surprise and shock while Diluc fishes out a handkerchief for each of them, shocked, but certainly not surprised.

Childe just becomes more numb than he looks.

Diluc: (frowns, somewhat concerned) You don't know what taxes are?

Itto: (quickly becoming indignant) What? Am I supposed to know what they are? Does it have something to do with fines or whatever?

Beidou: (chokes back her shocked laughter, blowing into the handkerchief) I mean . . . kind of, I think?

Childe: (exhales deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose) You've been alive for this long, and yet you have no idea . . . (in disbelief) How are you not in prison?

Itto: Huh? Prison? But I didn't do anything!

Zhongli: (coolly, recovered) Consider the fact that he has a deputy that likely takes care of that for him in place of himself.

Try telling me that Shinobu isn't certified in personal taxes for this specific reason.

Childe: Oh. That makes plenty of sense, actually. At least, I think so. Most other people probably do their taxes themselves, right?

Beidou: Pfft. Not me, that's for sure.

Mora-Grubber is a god at finding loopholes in tax law.

Diluc: If I have the time.

Elzer does them and that's only for exporting.

Childe: Yeah . . . I don't do mine either.

Snezhnayan bureaucracy is good at their jobs.

Itto: (nudges Zhongli's shoulder with his own, back to painting his figurine) What about you, Gramps?

Zhongli: (sips his tea, smoothly) I don't believe I've ever had to worry about that.

Hu Tao had the foresight to hire an accountant and they advised her to set aside the part of his paycheck meant for his taxes.

---

I find the idea of Mondstadters hating taxes due to the implications of a higher class of people doing it to them to be hilarious. There's also a certain strangeness the outsider attributes to the children of Liyue talking about taxes as if that's a normal thing to discuss. Itto does have an idea of money being 'taken' for certain reasons, but Shinobu has yet to break that down for him. Childe just trusts the system.

I can offer no further explanation other than because I can and because I wanted to.

[leogichidaa]

i love your anons! the rabastan situation is hilarious. when you said he might have cast a spell i got this wild idea, what if he was regulus in disguise?? i knew that it wouldn't add up with getting arrested and the Longbottom situation but it's still excig to think of. maybe Bellatrix figured out regulus' leaving and decided to pull him closer to keep an eye on him? maybe he's just not him anymore, changed after the cave. but it would explain why Sirius and Voldemort apparently don't remember him.

I've been having so much fun with these asks 😄

No, but I love this idea. R.A.B = Rabastan. I can 100% get behind this. Regulus survives the cave somehow and Kreacher tells Bellatrix about it for some reason. Maybe there's some kind of loophole in Regulus' orders that allows Kreacher to tell Bellatrix or Narcissa and no one else. So they give him a potion and change his appearance and call him Rodolphus' long lost brother.

He's not exactly thrilled about it, but he figures this way he can keep tabs on what Voldemort and the Death Eaters are doing. When Voldemort falls he is concerned because he knows that Voldemort has a Horcrux. He knows Voldemort is not properly dead. When Bellatrix wants to go looking for Voldemort, Regulus is eager to go along with her because he would really like to find Voldemort too and hopefully destroy him while he's in a vulnerable state.

Bellatrix is convinced the Longbottoms have information about Voldemort and Regulus can't let Bellatrix get the info without him there because she'll try to leave him in the dark and resurrect Voldemort. So he's there for the torture and he gets caught and thrown in Azkaban. He's nervous during the trial, scanning the crowd, not only because he doesn't want to go to prison but because he's worried that people will recognize him.

Or maybe Bella's been Imperiusing him. Maybe she fucked around with his memories and he doesn't even know he's Regulus, he genuinely thinks he's some dude named Rabastan. Such an interesting idea!

[cderiva]

nanami and maria if they had a kid :)))

If they had a kid meme (accepting)

@hoshizorax

Name: uhh maybe haruto, riku, or hiroshi Gender: male. General Appearance: mostly resembles his father, but his features aren't quite as defined, his eyes are dark brown, and his hair has a natural unruliness to it. looks relaxed though is often described as having a “resting serious face,” but when he smiles it’s wide and disarmingly charming. his eyes are always expressive even when his face doesn’t give much away. Personality: the kind of kid that is often unintentionally funny, and makes you incredibly proud but also leaves you feeling exasperated. “because i said so” never worked with him, just made him confused and frustrated. was always the “yes, but why?” kid, needing a logical or contextual understanding of things. didn’t have much of a filter as a child, tbh. the brightside is that when you took the time to explain, even in broad strokes, he'd be satisfied. used fear as fuel: if something scared him his instinct was to analyze, confront, and overcome, and while this showed resilience and courage, on the other hand it’s scary when your kid doesn’t seem to have the instinct to retreat. not extremely outgoing but has always had a very healthy and active social life, liked going to after school activities and such. analytical but it doesn't matter if he does research for asks for advice, he needs to experience things firsthand to be at peace with them (he doesn’t like this about himself). could be described as a smartass, though never in a malicious way - it’s hard to stay mad at him anyway. his anger is cold, rarely involves emotional outbursts. he's not confrontational but doesn't why away from it. when he gets mad it’s because there’s either a principle at stake, or he genuinely doesn’t understand something. he's stubborn in his silence: bottles things up until it’s too much to handle, often needs deliberate encouragement to open up. despite looking relaxed and composed, he struggles with communicating his feelings properly (whether endearingly awkward, or painfully frustrating). always stays connected to his family: texts almost if not daily not out of a sense of obligation but because he genuinely likes to share things with them. Special Talents: very fast reader. has a knack for visualization. very strong swimmer. has an uncanny talent for finding loopholes. Who they like better: tends to gravitate toward dad during times when he needs clear guidance or when it’s about something related to the future / long-term planning, and to mom when he needs emotional support or when it’s something that needs less planning and more of a quick intuitive response. Who they take after more: he's genuinely a strong mix of both parents. the best way i can put it is that he thinks like nanami but feels like maria. Personal Head canon: as a child he loved being involved in his parents’ daily activities like doing the dishes and going grocery shopping (grew out of it, alas). one of the most nonsensical things he did in his younger years was being a picky eater (grew out of it, thankfully) yet also always wanting to try whatever his parents were eating or drinking just to end up scrunching his nose. at school, he disliked subjects that had a lot of room for interpretation, like literary analysis or philosophy. was absolutely terrified of very loud noises such as thunder as a kid: when his parents explained to him what was happening he'd nod but he'd never stop gripping their shirt. sleeps like a rock, but when he was a baby he went through a phase where he would only sleep if he could feel some sort of movement. writes a lot, not as a creative pursuit or even as a hobby but because it helps him express himself better and understand/organize his own thoughts. isn't truly awake until after he's had breakfast and if you speak to him before then he likely won't register anything you say. can play one musical instrument. Face Claim: tumblr isn't letting me add images at the moment 🙃

[darklingichor]

Mort, by Terry Pratchett

*One more extra entry, why not?*

May have a run of Discworld, I'm not having a lot to time to read words on the page books and nothing else on audible is catching me.

I attempted to read Angel's and Demons by Dan Brown. I made it though an improbable use of air conditioning (I can't get mine below 60 let alone cold enough to form frost on furniture) and a massive amount of scientific sounding babble and enough dialog to find out that Robert Langdon is an idiot, before I gave up.

So I finished the Rincewind series (except for The Last Hero which I will have to get in this year's birthday book haul in November). Though I found Unseen Acidemicals to be underwhelming, I genuinely loved all the others and I adore Rincewind. The only thing I loved more then Rincewind preparing to runway in any given situation were his interactions with Death, so I knew that when I finished the Rince Cycle, I would start the Death Saga.

I like the concept of the Grim Reaper doing things and the idea of Death taking on an apprentice is a cool one. I've seen it once or twice before, and there is always a point where the person learning to be death wants to save those who are meant to die and it's a struggle for them to accept that death is inevitable and changing the course of someone's time line can have major consequences.

And this is basically what goes on in Mort. Mortimer is a thoughtful young man of 15 whose father is dispairing of what to do with him as he is not suited for the family farm. He takes him to a hiring fair where Death of the Discworld on his pale horse named Binky takes him on as an apprentice.

Death, it appeares, is having something of a mid-existence crisis and wants to try new things. So with the idea of teaching Mort the trade and setting him up with his daughter Ysabell, he sets his sights on retirement.

Any book that had Death in the discworld equivalent of a conga line will live rent free in my brain!

I will say that there were moments where I found Mort to be a little annoying, but just in the way that most teenage characters are annoying. Like you know they're going to screw everything up because they won't listen to what other people say, but this is in part, because a young person is experiencing stuff for the first time so probably won't take their word for it.

Just like every kid thinks they invented something like "The dog ate my homework" most teenagers are going to approach one thing or another and think "Yeah, they said that, but maybe if *I* try it..."

Death could get a pass here because he doesn't understand people, let alone teenaged people, but the fact that he himself has a couplenof cosmic loopholes living in his domain might have gone a long way to why the book ended like it did.

I loved Mort's evolution while in the Death trade and the way he thought his way out of the mess that not thinking clearly put him in. I loved that he refused to be anyone but himself, and who he was had value so that when he started to lose himself, someone who loved him brought him back.

I really liked that we saw the ins and outs of collecting the spirits of the dead and how in this world, belief shapes what happens after life.

The most fun I had with this book was seeing death try everything. A drunk Grim Reaper is hilarious, and the idea of him being a fry cook makes me giggle.

[nothing0fnothing]

Someone get out the tiny violins this poor poor estranged parents just can't do right for doing wrong. *sob*

.. except, she's not estranged, she speaks to her son once a week. And she does know she's doing wrong, because she was told not to contact her daughter in law and decided the work around was to send flowers.

We're seeing a real theme here from the first post again, there's that theme of her trying to find loopholes in her family members boundaries. Yanno, that classic behaviour that non abusive people regularly do? (heavy sarcasm.)

She wants to be so smug too, the quotation marks around "harassed" like that's not what it's called when someone asks you for no contact and you attempt to contact them. Yes, it is still harassment even if the unwanted contact comes with a bouquet of flowers. You'd think that was common sense but as followers of this account know, common sense among abusers isn't so common.

The more this hag talks the more the story comes together don't you think? Remember how in part one she was absolutely aghast that she would be denied the opportunity to send her precious unborn grandchild a gift? Yet here she is admitting to using gifts to violate the boundaries of her daughter in law while she puts on a show of innocence "harassment? Me? For sending flowers (??)" Yes bitch, and you know what you're doing.

How can you be trusted to send gifts for the baby within reasonable boundaries if you can't be trusted to maintain reasonable boundaries at all?

It's not lost on me that the initial commenter has simply told her that all she can do is respect her sons wishes and wait for the dust to settle to extend a genuine olive branch to the family. Our OP then replies with a ramble about how she's tried to extend the olive branch but her DIL (daughter in law) is so mean and unreasonable she won't even accept her passive aggressive flowers. And her son is soo mean too because she offers him an olive branch every week but he just won't accept it. She's just such a victim guys. Honest.

Notice that "properly talk" comment. All contact he's had with her thus far just doesn't cut it for our OP, he needs to talk how she wants him to. That once a week conversation he affords her? Yeah, doesn't cut it. If it's not a talk on her terms, it doesnt count. Its not "proper" unless it's her way. She's practically beating him over the head with that god damn olive branch and insisting he reconcile on her terms rather than his.

Doesn't really paint a picture of emotional maturity does it?

[chainoftalent]

Yandere alphabet with Ouma is almost done so!

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Im big excited to post the full one when it's done!

Kokichi with B G H

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

While he's willing to get rather bloody if he has too, it's super last ditch for him. He and DICE follow strict rules around violence and murder and Kokichi intends to follow them. So if he does have to get physical he prefers quick precision victories over torture or drawing it out. It would take a situation where he genuinely felt it was his/his partners/DICE's lives were in very real danger and he has no other option but to not hold back to get him to actually kill.

He'd totally upend a tub of legos in a rival's house though, the monster. Minor harm is totally on the table and he will abuse the hell out of that loophole if he feels he should. Yeah sure he won't kill a rival but if all their milk seemingly constantly spoils over night and they keep finding needles in their socks then well, that's pretty unfortunate. At his worst though he might be willing to push people towards hurting themselves or getting hurt by other unrelated people, but it'd take a lot to bring him to that point.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It's definitely a game, that's not to say he's not taking it incredibly seriously, but its still a game and he doesn't like to lose. As such while he does enjoy to see their partners mind twist and see what they come up with, he's quick to sabotage attempts and will even purposefully imply things to put ideas into their heads just so he can rip it away from them later as just another one of his schemes. However, even Kokichi will eventually get tired of this game and speed up towards ending it. As much as he loves the back and forth he wants his found family already dammit!

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Hmm that's a hard one that I've had to rewrite a few times, Kokichi tries to be very careful with how he goes about his work on his partner to avoid breaking them but not also making them complacent. In general the worst would definitely dealing with a loss of control, as Kokichi can be rather controlling as part of his leadership talent. As long as you're good though it shouldn't be too hard to adapt. Even if your bad he's very good and experienced in threading that needle between too vicious and too giving. It's hard to push Kokichi to do something super drastic to his partner, though not impossible.

it would take a lot of really close escape attempts and really clever but not fun resisting to break Kokichi's patience down enough for thing to get as bad as possible. Eventually though, he will just get so fucking fed up with the game that he's more willing to leave a few....cracks to finally win already.

In which case, say goodbye to your nico nico kneecaps as he makes you reliant on him in every way he can. You're not so much as able to move your arms anymore without his express permission. You're basically going to be his living doll to dote on and gaslight and if you're good you can start earning back privileges, like the privilege of wiggling your fingers freely! Aren't you so cute like this! Like a sweet little marionette! Look how you dance on these strings!

…Yeah it's going to be a slow process earning back the ability to do anything substantial for yourself. He just needs to have this control, you've made him feel completely out of his element and out of control and he fucking hates it so he's going to take full control of you to chase away that skin crawling feeling of thinking he might somehow be losing this game. Eventually, he'll break you down, even if he has to shatter you just a touch to do it. That's what you get for refusing to bend, because when thing that don't bend meet enough force, they'll eventually snap and fall anyways. He's certain he can put the pieces back together once he's finally won anyways. Honestly DICE might even schedule an intervention at this point that's how bad it's gotten for both of you.

[loosesodamarble]

Devil Fausts AU Trivia

Some idea that I've had about the Devil Fausts AU (which is also shameless Faustsele content) from the fics here and here.

Josele meets the twins when she’s twenty. The twins physically appear to be in their twenties.

Morgen isn't considered a "good" devil because he wasn’t nearly as cruel as Nacht or other devils. While he is powerful, he was never inclined to hurt those weaker than him. Life in the Underworld made him to be jaded and cruel though.

Nacht was held in higher regard in the Underworld. He liked the thrill of fighting other devils. He used his strength and cruelty to defend Morgen as his brother was his only soft spot.

Morgen and Nacht like the human world because there, they’re the top dogs. But also they’re amazed by what the world is like.

Nacht is more direct in his fighting. He likes to deal as much damage as quickly as possible.

Morgen prefers to play with his enemies. Slowly chipping away at their strength and confidence until they’re begging to be defeated.

Josele allows the twins manifest whenever they please with restrictions to protect her privacy. They might have a contract with her but that doesn't mean they can just pop in on her any time they please.

At first, Julius wanted someone to always be around Josele to watch out for her. Josele said it wasn't necessary given the rules she set in her contract.

As long as the contract between Josele and the twins is in place, the twins aren't allowed to hurt her. It’d be bad to attack one’s master. Also, her death means they’re sent straight back to the Underworld after all.

However, Josele isn’t allowed to simply end the deal on a whim. She must be given a reason to do so.

The deal is somewhat vague but in general, Josele can’t end the contract unless the twins act against her direct wishes.

This creates a loophole where Morgen and Nacht can take actions on their own if Josele is unable to give orders.

Killing or irreversible damage (anything Josele or Owen can’t personally heal) is out of the question.

The twins got away with it once; killing the man who initiated the ritual that led to the trio’s contract. He wanted to take back the twins’ relics but neither they nor Josele were having that. Josele wasn’t sure if she could kill on her own so she gave the twins the go ahead.

Their early treatment of Josele wasn't exactly nice. Nacht would repeatedly try to scare Josele outright and Morgen would come to her defense before turning on her and mocking her weakness.

Josele gets used to their antics and eventually is able to brush off their antics in a calm manner that intrigues the twins.

But there is one incident where Nacht makes Josele think he is genuinely going to hurt her, contract be damned. She clings to Morgen and begs him to make Nacht stop. Morgen's buried gentleness is reawakened and Nacht regrets scaring her so much.

Nacht and Morgen also tried to get Josele to go wild with their magic, to fight evil using evil.

But Josele was determined to use the devils’ power in a righteous way.

Josele shows the twins how their powers can be used for good. How they’re good deep inside. Nacht did protect Morgen, and now protects Josele. And Morgen has always been kind and just needed to be around people who encouraged that side of him.

After Morgen and Nacht have become a little more docile, they take to sleeping with Josele in their small, familiar forms.

When not with Josele, the twins hang out with Yami.

Nacht likes Yami’s nonchalant attitude and learns about the dark underbelly of human society from him. Morgen can tell Yami is Josele's closest friend, and as he's finding his heart again, he wants to learn what kind of person Josele likes being around.

Josele teaches the devils how to do regular human things like cook and clean. They’re horrible at it at first.

Yami, William, and Marx aren’t close but they can all agree that two supreme devils fumbling to make a salad is objectively hilarious.

Nacht and Morgen have a fused form (like Namaah and Lilith did) which gets named Faust.

Separately or together, Nacht and Morgen can use their magic to create illusory human forms.

Faust has been introduced to Josele’s parents (Gwenith and Thomas both live longer in this au, yes). Neither parents have caught on that Faust is actually two devils.

Josele is much more tsundere in this au because she has to keep Nacht and Morgen in line. But she also wants to love them. She’s in trouble folks.

Morgen falls for Josele's strength of character, her ability to put up with him and Nacht and keep her moral compass. Helping him find his own again helps too.

Nacht falls for Josele's softer side, her gentle smiles and the source of her healing magic really enchant him. He falls for her kindness and wants to protect it.

The moment when Josele really starts falling for the twins is at a masquerade. The twins come in disguise and sweep her off her feet.

She doesn’t even recognize them until they pull her aside and reveal themselves.

Morgen would research human courting practices to impress Josele only for her to be annoyed that Morgen is pretending to be someone he's not.

Nacht just does what he likes but since he's always teasing Josele, she finds it difficult to tell if his feelings are genuine.

At some point, Yami confronts Josele about her relationship with the twins. He tells her “I’m all about surpassing limits but you’re crossing a line!”

Josele's unite form with Morgen turns her into an armored dancer. Simple armor and flowing silk woven from Morgen's light magic. She appears elegant, otherworldly, and (ironically) pure.

Josele's unite form with Nacht makes her look like a rogue/assassin. Form fitting clothes of shadows coupled with claws. This form is ominous and vicious in appearance and use.

If Josele were to unite with both Morgen and Nacht... Whoever brought that on should be saying their prayers. Josele becomes wreathed in the darkest shadows and unholy light. She is both too bright to look at directly and too dark to see properly. The first time Josele achieved this form, she immediately blacked out afterwards because of the strain on her body and mind.

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: The Grand Opening (4x03)

Sometimes I truly can't believe the shit this show actually puts out into the world. Madness, in the best way.

Cons:

I'm struggling to come up with anything I'd truly call a negative about this one! In terms of the comedy, I suppose I'll say that the scene with Lazlo and young Colin Robinson when they're robbing art from a museum was probably the least funny to me. The stuff with Colin has been surprisingly hilarious so far, but the repetition about the Legos, and Lazlo doing stunts with the lasers, it just felt slightly less inspired than most of the rest of the episode for me. Not bad by any means, though!

Pros:

But Colin's musical theatre references, and his performance at the end, saving Nadja's nightclub, was genuinely so funny. I love how Lazlo and Guillermo are essentially co-parenting this bizarre little nightmare together. Guillermo is offering him encouragement and being such a good dad, and Lazlo is trying to mold him into something he'll never be, until he learns his lesson about accepting his weird son for who he is. It's such a creepy uncanny valley sight, seeing that adult man's face on the body of a child, but it's cracking me up every second.

Nadja and the Guide have to convince their special musical guest star for the grand opening, Richie Suck, to come and perform, and get him away from his jazz-obsessed, over-controlling familiar-slash-manager. Fred Armisen is hilarious in the role of the familiar. The jazz trio, Nadja helping to get the rapper back on his feet after he's been away from the scene for a while, all of this stuff was pretty fun. I love how Nadja is good natured but also extremely determined to succeed; she'll kill who she needs to kill to make this happen. When Richie does ultimately take the stage, it's to try out his observational comedy, which doesn't go over well with the crowd. I was oddly touched by Nandor and Lazlo both rushing to Nadja's aid when the crowd turned on her, but of course it's Colin Robinson who saves the day with a little soft shoe.

There's also an entire subplot in this episode about Nandor using one of his djin wishes to get a bigger dick. This is one of those moments where I despair at the limits of my own abilities, because how can I write about this and explain to you how and why it worked and was honestly pretty hilarious, without just repeating the jokes at you? Somehow, against all odds, this concept, which sounds incredibly juvenile, it works. I mean, don't get me wrong, it is incredibly juvenile. But it quickly devolves into a negotiation where Nandor and Guillermo try and predict any and all loopholes the djin might throw their way in granting Nandor his wish for the biggest penis in the world. Guillermo manages to catch one of the potential tricks, by instructing the djin not to make everyone else's dicks smaller in order to accomplish this, which I thought was funny and clever.

In the end, though, in an absurd turn of events, Nandor ends up with a massive penis, and also the inability to ever use it without thinking about Guillermo, thanks to a slip of the tongue. It's... freaking hilarious. I love how he's apparently all grossed out by this, and Guillermo seems a little offended but mostly just kind of resigned. Like, he's truly reached a place of zen where Nandor's intermittent expressions of disdain don't bother him anymore. You truly love to see it.

So yeah, that's that! Another solid installment. I'd still probably say last week's two episodes were stronger, the jokes a little more clever and fast-paced and wacky, but this episode had plenty to laugh at, and I can't wait for more, as we find out if Nandor and his lady are able to make things work between them!

8/10

[hughiecampbelle]

i am so late to this omg, please forgive me ❤️ could i request a celebration ship? with the peaky fandom. i’m straight, but tbh, ship me with whoever you think suits me, ignoring the gender! i am 5’6, have long brown hair and hazel eyes. i study law and currently even work in a law office as an assistant. horses and riding is probably my only and most dearest hobby. i do talk quite much from time to time and like to say what’s in my mind. people describe me as motivated and usually in a very good mood. i hate it when people lie and i value loyality. i also like to feel like i’m wanted, i won’t go running after affection. i hope you can work with this! congrats again!! 💓

What trope are you? I hate/love you 💕

Michael drives you insane. You've never met someone who gets on your nerves so easily, who pushes your buttons so effortlessly. You were hired by Tommy as a means of protection. Legal protection, that is. He doesn't mind that you're still in school for it. You've saved their asses a number of times, and for that he'll always be grateful. Though you don't condone everything they've done, you're glad they're on the right path. You love hanging out with Polly and Ada, and just adore how John and Finn want to hear all about your classes. They love legal loopholes. One person who you've never warmed up to though is Michael. You never understood why, though. He always seemed so arrogant, so know-it-all like, even when he was wrong. You and him would end up in each other's faces, arguing over nothing.

You swear up and down you hate him, hate him like you've never hated anyone else. Ada and Lizzie laugh at you, make fun of you, saying that you actually adore one another. You roll your eyes, thinking they've never been more wrong in their lives. You and Michael? Nope. No. Never. It isn't until you and Michael are paired, against your will, for a party at Tommy's. No one else got paired together, and you suspect this was Adas doing. You'll remember this next time you try stopping her brothers from doing something to embarrass her. You and Michael, arm in arm, both cringe. You can't wait for the second you can pull away and ignore him the rest of the night. All of his compliments feel pained, made rude by his tone. He feels awful you take it that way, though. He's genuine when he says you look stunning, though you roll your eyes, slipping away into the crowd in need of a strong drink.

He spends the rest of the night trying to make it up to you. He meant well, honest. He's not that great at confessing his feelings, but he can't let you think he was bring cruel, at least not tonight. Of course you drive him crazy. You get on his nerves, you make fun of him, you laugh at him with his cousins, but he wouldn't have it any other way. Right? Michael looks for you through every crowded room, asking where you are. No one knows. Most of them have had too much to drink already. Ada, giggling, tells him you probably found your way down to the stables. It's your favorite place, he should have known. Whenever you're invited over, you always find your way to the horses. John always jokes you love them more than Tommy does. He finds you there, two glasses in his hands, unsure of what to say. Maybe he didn't hate you. Maybe he just never paid attention to you the way he should have. Maybe, he hoped, tonight would change everything. . . . for the better.

~ I hope you like it Leah!!! :D !!!!! Xoxoxo💜💖💜💖💜💖💜