#he makes decisions based on what makes him feel good or bad (like most people) but

[fizzyghosts]

Hywel is inspired by a mix of my issues with stories with nonhuman protagonist/about nonhumans becoming human AND vet posts ive seen warning people about the dangers of anthropomorphisizing animals. Its fine to joke about your pets doing things out of spite or other human emotions, it does put you at risk of not being able to read their body language correctly. Cats dont cry out of sadness, a cat crying, with actual tears streaming down its face, is a sign of a medical issue. A dog smiling isn't doing it bc its happy, it means its nervous. Not being able to spot these is bad, and sometimes even dangerous, for you and the animal.

If you never get past Hywel's human appearance and treat him like one its like getting a reactive dog, doing zero research or training, and then taking it to a dog park. If Hywel mauls someone in town then its on you.

[some-bunniii]

My Charming Red Savior [2]

・❥ Two odd visitors and a mugging. Can’t you stay out of trouble?

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

x: he’s back!! a little longer this time, 8k words. enjoy!

That evening after meeting Alastor, you sat at your friend’s dining table, your mind racing.

Your finger aimlessly twisted that gold ring he had magically placed on your digit, as you explained what happened. The creep harassing you, Alastor swooping in to save you. All of it laid out for your friend to digest. Which she wasn’t taking it very well.

“I mean, I'm glad that demon helped you out of that, but you should have gotten away as soon as possible! Haven’t you heard what he’s done, what kind of deals people have made with him?”

You sighed, feeling a bit frustrated with your friend's skepticism. "Look, I get it, you're worried. But Alastor isn't what everyone makes him out to be. He helped me when I needed it most. Besides, who are we to judge someone solely based on rumors?"

Your friend leaned forward, her eyes fixed on the ring adorning your finger. "What about that? What if it's some sort of trap he set for you?"

You instinctively pulled your hand back, a protective gesture. "Don't be ridiculous. Alastor wouldn't do something like that. He's... different."

"Different? More like dangerous," she countered, reaching out to grab your hand. "Come on, let me see that ring. We can take it to someone to see if it’s been magically altered."

Dangerous? He saved you from someone dangerous! Yes, he was a demon. A sinner, who probably did some bad things, and most likely continues to do bad things. Except, for the fact he didn’t leave you, a defenseless nobody, to be taken off and.. you couldn’t even think about it. 

You jerked your hand away from her hand, the ring glinting in the lamplight. "There’s nothing wrong with the ring, you’re just being paranoid. It’s.. comforting, actually."

Your friend sighed, frustration evident in her voice. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. Please, at least consider what I'm saying."

You softened, realizing she was only looking out for you. "I appreciate your concern, I really do. But I’m not a child, I can make my own decisions."

Your friend relented after a moment, sinking back into her chair. She nodded slowly, agreeing with your statement.

At that moment, your friend’s husband had entered the room. A large pot of steaming foodstuff in his oven-mitt protected hands as he walked. 

“I hope you guys are hungry!” He said cheerfully, the tension in the room easing with his upbeat demeanor. You quite liked him, he had some good jokes and cared about those around him.

You smile gratefully, welcoming the distraction from the intense conversation. “Absolutely starving,” you reply, grateful for the opportunity to shift the focus to something more light-hearted.

Your friend’s husband sets the pot on the table, filling the room with the delightful aroma of home-cooked food. “Well, dig in!” he encourages, serving everyone generous portions.

As you take a bite, the flavors dance on your palate, and your eyes light up as you eat. 

“What is this?” You turn to her husband, who looked up from his bowl, face stuffed with food.

“Crawfish Étouffée! A popular dish from New Orleans, back on Earth. Do you like it?”

You nodded vigorously. Is this what Jambalaya tastes like? If so, you really needed to try it. Maybe, you’d see Alastor again, and he could give you that recipe he had mentioned? 

As your thoughts drifted back to the red demon, your finger began to twist the ring around your digit once more. Why did it bring you such comfort? You had no idea. 

Sometimes, if you put your hand to your face, you could smell faint traces of his scent, that you had first memorized when you walked side by side with him. It smelled like an old cologne, something that you couldn’t quite recognize from your days. Maybe, it was back when he was alive? 

Lemony, hay-like and grassy. A whiff of licorice. Something peppery too? You couldn’t quite place it. But every deep inhale sent you into a lull. A trance, almost.

Your finger still mindlessly caressed the golden band a while later, during the early hours of the morning. You had been sweeping the front doors to the formalwear store you worked at, tidying up before it would be opened for customers. 

It wasn’t until you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, did you get pulled back into reality.

“Pardon me, miss. Are you guys open?” 

Turning around to address the voice, you find no one. It wasn’t until you looked down did you see the demon man. He resembled that of an imp. Dark red skin with thin, striped horns that peaked out of the top of his head. 

He wore a white turtleneck, with long white hair that curled around his chin. His eyes were unreadable, hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. They were Ray-Burn glasses. You could immediately tell from the bridge, which were curved to resemble a half-circle rather than an oval. 

You also knew how high-end that brand was, and it wasn’t easy getting a pair either. The wait for those was no joke. And, this style was from their newest collection, which meant that he had to be of some importance to get one so soon.

His posture also struck you as odd, especially for an imp. He stood tall, shoulders back, head held high. Despite being a part of one of the lowest social classes in Hell, the demon regarded everyone and everything around him with an air of confidence and assertiveness. 

It was also odd that he was wearing sunglasses so early in the morning, there wasn’t really much light to need protection from. Maybe he had some bat genetics in him?

You smiled at him, but shook your head. “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed right now. You’ll have to come back later.”

The imp visibility deflated at your words, a frown etched on his face. You could see his eyes through the shades just enough to show them flicking down the streets. 

“Oh, okay. That’s fine, I guess. Thanks, I'll just.. have to figure something else out.” 

He backed away, as he scanned the nearby stores again. He muttered to himself, too quiet for you to hear, but his tone sounded scolding. As if he was berating himself. The demon bit his lip, as if he was contemplating something.

A pang of sympathy hit you, as you watched him become more anguished. It seemed like he really needed whatever was inside, and you didn’t have a reason to deny him business other than to follow the official hours of operation. 

Placing the broom against the brick wall, you pulled out a set of keys. The demon turned slightly as he heard its jingle, and you met his shaded gaze. 

“There isn’t really anything else I need to do before opening though, so I suppose it’s not a big issue letting you inside.”

The imp perked, a smile blooming on his lips at your words. You bent to turn the lock with a click. Pulling the door handle, you pulled it behind you, allowing the demon to follow you inside.

“That is so kind of you! Truly, you don’t get to meet many kind and considerate people in this place.”

Well, it was Hell. Being friendly to strangers was not a common occurrence. You just weren’t one of the, well, bad ones. Sure, you had some flaws, you weren’t a resident for no reason. But, you prided yourself in having a reasonable moral code.

“Don’t worry, I know what I need. I’ll be quick!” The imp promised, as he passed through the entryway. The large room was dark, besides the morning light casting through the windows.

You flicked on the lights, and the overhead lamps lit the interior of the store. There were mannequins lining the dark-blue walls, styled in different tuxedos and dress shirts. Next to them were rows of shelves, each specific to a type of garment. There were dress pants, vests, shoes, and smaller accessories like ties and belts. 

As you walked behind the black-granite countertop, the imp had hurried over to a mannequin facing out of a glass display. He reached down near its feet, a small shelf lifted from the floor. A pile of red suits was neatly tucked next to the display. 

Gingerly, he lifted to the top piece, examining it thoroughly. After a few moments, he brought it closer to his chest, before turning to you. Your hands tapped against the display of the digital cash register, readying it for service.

You looked up just as he placed the garment on the counter, your eyes scanning the suit. Strange, he was still wearing those shades. You simply smiled at him, before pulling the item closer to you. Carefully, you unfolded it, examining its form.

It was a beautiful red tuxedo, with golden lapels. Dark-red buttons, with white cuffs. It was a women’s suit, which was rare for you to see, since the store mostly marketed towards men. 

“What a wonderful piece!” You exclaimed, your tone dripping with customer-satisfying professionalism. “Getting this for a special someone?” 

The imp nodded. “For my daughter. She runs a hotel a few blocks away, up the hill. The Hazbin Hotel, if you've heard of it? She needed a new suit, and this was the perfect fit.”

The hotel that was supposed to help sinners with redemption? You’ve heard bits and pieces, mostly when you watched that disastrous interview with Katie Killjoy. You couldn’t recall who ran it, though.

“A little, but you sure do have an eye for style!” You nodded, grabbing the small tag from the sleeve to input the information into the register.

“Well, it was my sweetheart who picked it out first,” the imp gushed, “I can’t take all the credit, I'm not good at these sorts of things, anyway.”

“Do they have a background in fashion?” 

“No, they’re an artist,” the demon beamed, his voice growing softer as he spoke of his lover, “I can promise, you’ve never seen a real painting until you’ve seen theirs. If it were my way, I'd fill every billboard with them, instead of those.. repulsive pornography ads they have downtown.” 

The imp held a look of pride and admiration as he spoke, obviously having full confidence in his claim. You pulled up the item on your screen, and read him the price. It was not a cheap suit, but the demon had no reaction to the total and simply pulled out his wallet. 

“Is business running smoothly at the hotel? Do you guys get a lot of guests?”

The imp contemplated for a moment, before pulling out a large sum of money, placing it gently on the counter. You reached for it, before licking your finger and counting through the bills.

“Not entirely. It just opened recently, and, with the demons it caters to? Hah, there’s not many around here with the mindset of redemption. But, I'm going to be helping her out, supporting her with the work.” 

What a nice father, helping his daughter out like that. If only someone like that had helped you when you were younger, maybe you would be stu-

“Especially when it comes to keeping an eye on some of the.. colorful characters she calls staff. Like that Radio Demon.” As the imp spoke, you could hear the disdain in his tone, as he uttered that name. Your head shot up from the bills in your hand at his words.

Radio demon? Alastor? Alastor was working at the Hazbin Hotel? 

“As in, the tall red guy with deer antlers? Carries a staff around with a microphone on it?” You questioned him, excitement lacing your voice.

“Yes. Do you know him? Word of advice, stay away from that demon. He’s nothing but a self-serving, pompous show-off.” 

That couldn’t be true, could it?

Quickly, you placed the bills into the cash register, pulling out change to hand to the imp. As he took the money in your hand, you found it right to defend Alastor.

“He helped me out of a tough spot awhile ago, practically saved my life, actually.” 

The demon regarded you for a moment, eyebrows raised as he took in your words. He didn’t argue, seemingly trying to leave as fast as possible. Back to the hotel presumably. “Hmph. Well, just be careful, you never know with demons like him.”

You were about to wish him farewell and turn away, before his hand lifted once more. Looking down, he held another stack of money in his hands, you could faintly read ‘100’ on one of the bills alone.

“For your kindness,” the demon stated simply, giving you a wink, “I enjoyed our short chat, there’s not many people down here I'm interested in talking to. Go treat yourself.” 

Your eyes widened at his words. How did he have so much money he could just.. give it away?! You almost wanted to reject his offering. But, money was money, so you took them from his grip. 

“I-I don’t know what to say, but thank you! This is very generous of you.” 

He only shrugged, sending you a charming smile. “I am indeed a very generous person. Just don’t spend it on drugs, or anything like that.”

As you handed him the small pink bag, his shaded gaze landed on the ring on your finger, and he leaned in just an inch to get a closer look.

“Boy, that is a fine piece of jewelry you’ve got there! Very nice, was it from a lover? It really makes a statement! Just curious.. do you by any chance know where you got it from?”

You tilted your head, wondering why he wanted to know, was he planning on getting one himself? You just shook your head, you couldn’t really tell him it magically poofed onto your finger by the same demon he held negative feelings for. 

He nodded, muttering something like ‘that’s fine’, before pivoting away from you towards the door. 

“Adios!” He called, a hand in the air in farewell as he strolled to the exit. The bell above the door jingled as it closed behind him, and you saw him step near the curb, away from your view. 

Suddenly, a flash of gold illuminated the small window on the door. Crossing the room, you peeked out the large display window. There was no one on the street, even when you cranked your head to both sides of the street. It’s like he just.. vanished. Strange.

You flipped the large sign on the window from ‘Closed’ to ‘Open’ before returning behind the counter. Your fingers still holding the money he gave you, your mind elsewhere as you waited for the day to begin. 

Your thoughts were still on that encounter when the assistant manager walked up to you a few hours later. He was a rather short, plump man with small horns protruding from his head. His skin was a pale blue, his figure resembling that of an ox. Alan was his name. 

You weren’t very fond of him, he always threw flirtatious comments and jokes at you. Always insisting to join you behind the counter, or lean right over your shoulder when you worked. He reminded you too much of that creep from the streets, which made you uncomfortable.

What was up with you always attracting the questionable suitors? Maybe your friend at the cafe was right, you weren’t going to find ‘The One,’ you’d just have to settle for less.

Alan would always try and pry into your personal life, asking if you had a lover, or kids. You’d simply change the conversation as smoothly as possible. If you told him we’re single, he’d no doubt try and court you. Which made you nervous, he didn’t seem like someone who could take a rejection. 

You weren’t able to say, ‘why yes, I have a hubby of my own!’ because you never had proof. Without a ring, and the rest of your co-workers aware of your singlehood, you knew lying to him would have consequences.

Not to mention, he was your boss. He had power, and unless you wanted to end up homeless on the street, you had to keep a friendly facade with him. 

Luckily, he wasn’t around much. Except today your manager had meetings out of town, and he was the substitute. So, for now, you were stuck with him.

“Hey, you still know how to use that sewing machine in the back, right?” He asked you after you had finished assisting a customer near the large display window.

You nodded, curious about his question. In truth, being a tailor sounded much better than working for customer service. You had spent late nights slowly practicing the craft, on that ancient sewing machine in your basement. Maybe, you’d use that money the imp gave you to buy a new one.

“Well, Darlene just called in, which means I got no one as my seamstress. We’ve got a few pieces in need of mending, you think you can handle that?”

“Oh, sure! I can do that, no problem.”

It was then you heard the bell above the front entrance jingle slightly and the creak as the door opened, which caused you to turn sharply to greet the newcomer. Except.. there was no one there.

That was strange. There were other customers milling about, but you were standing in a position that made it impossible to miss anyone exiting the building. 

“Must be having strong winds or something.” Alan remarked, and you turned back to him. As you moved, you noticed the corner next to the doorway was more shaded than usual. As if a large black shadow had taken residence there. Perhaps an overhead light went out? You’d have to check on that later. 

“Anyway, I wanted to ask you something,” Alan started, a flirtatious smile on his lips as he lowered his voice, “I’ve got VIP access to a new club that just opened a few blocks down. I was thinking you and I could get some drinks and have a little fun, whatcha say?” 

You groaned internally. Not this again. How were you going to say no this time? 

“Well, I mean, um- you see the thing is…”

Your eyes went down to the ring on your digit, that little A shimmering in the light. Maybe, you could use this.

“… I’m already taken!” You exclaim, your hand shooting up to give Alan a front row seat at the prize on your person. 

“You are?” He asked incredulously.

“Mhm!” You nod your head vigorously. “As you can see, this is my wedding ring. I eloped not too long ago, hence why it’s not common knowledge.” 

Hopefully, he would buy your lie.

Alan stood there, his eyes flicking from you to the ring. Was he going to try and fight your claim? It seemed like he wanted to. Before you even gave him the chance to, you whipped towards the door being the counter to start mending.

You had only used the machine in the back a handful of times, but you were trying to become more familiar with it. Nodding, you quickly slipped into the back room. The hum of the old sewing machine greeted you like an old friend as you fired it up and began to mend the pieces in need of repair.

The rhythmic clacking of the needle against fabric filled the air as you lost yourself in the task at hand, the radio beside you playing soft old-timey melodies in the background. You continued this calm pace for a few hours, thankful to be away from Alan and the bustling state of the store.

Until a familiar static-laced voice broke through the music. 

“Hello, sir! My, what a hellish morning it is!” 

Your foot instantly moved off the pedal nestled under the table, the vibrations from the machine ceasing as it stilled. You strained your ears, is that who you thought it was?

“Oh, why hello there! How can I assist you today?” You heard the loud, boisterous voice of Alan as he welcomed the newcomer. Quickly, you left your seat, and peaked through the small crack in the doorway. 

Your breath quickened as your eyes landed on the tall, red demon. Alastor. How did he get in here? You didn’t hear the loud bell jingle at his entrance.

He sported his usual red coat, with his staff resting lazily in his grip as he stood before the demon. He had a large smile on his face, but his eyes spoke differently. He looked absolutely bored, disinterested in the man before him and his surroundings.

“I’m simply here to adjust some wear-and-tear on my suit,” he remarked, “as you can see, my sleeve has taken quite the nasty wound.”

He lifted up his arm, displaying a tiny piece of missing fabric from the cuff. It was a clean slice, as if someone had taken a knife and barely nicked it. Nasty wasn’t exactly how you’d describe it, more like itty bitty. 

“If I may..” Alan leaned in slightly, reaching out to inspect the tear. 

Alastor only pulled his arm back, rejecting the gesture with a subtle yet firm movement.

“I prefer to handle my own attire, thank you,” Alastor stated, his voice carrying a hint of disdain as he withdrew his sleeve from Alan’s reach. His smile widened further, as he stared at the demon. 

Your boss recoiled slightly, taken aback by Alastor’s abrupt refusal. “Oh, of course. My apologies,” he stammered, attempting to regain her composure, “but not to worry, sir! We’ve got fabrics that match and a seamstress to do the work. Let me go grab her for you, I'll be right back!”

You saw Alan turn in your direction, and you backed away from the door. Your heart raced as you realized you were going to actually be face to face with Alastor again. How would he react to your presence?

You shot into your seat, spinning around towards the machine. You stepped on the pedal, and the machine hummed to life once more. The door opened, and Alan poked his head in.

“Hey, there’s a customer who needs some assistance. Get out here.”

His head disappeared from view, leaving you alone once more. Exhaling a large breath to ease your nerves, you rose from your seat. Quickly, you walked over to the door and gripped the handle tightly. Another deep breath, and you pulled it open gingerly before taking a step outside. 

Your boss was back beside Alastor, who towered over the man. As you slowly entered the room, Alastor’s eyes moved to you. They lit up with interest, the smile seeming to shrink slightly. The crooked edges on his smile softened too, appearing more genuine as he regarded you.

“Ah, there you are, my dear! I was hoping to find you here.” Alastor called to you. He stepped right past Alan, completely ignoring his presence as he strode up to you. 

As he closed the distance, you became awfully aware of how fast your heart was beating inside your chest. That smell of lemons and licorice hit your nose as he stood before you, and it eased your nerves as you took a quick inhale of breath. 

He turned, allowing Alan to see both of your faces as he slowly reached out to take your hand. His thumb gently grazed against the gold band and it spun slightly. Your breath hitched at his touch.

“It is so nice to be able to visit my dear wife at her place of work,” Alastor started, his gaze shooting to Alan as he spoke, “and, to meet her lovely coworkers! A pleasure indeed.” 

Did he hear you telling Alan about your ring? He couldn’t have, but there seemed to be no other reason for him to bring up the whole marriage farce.

Alastor turned back to you, finger still softly caressing your hand as he turned his attention to his sleeve. 

“It appears I’ve gotten into another miscommunication with an overly confident adversary, similar to what I spoke to you about before. Would you care to assist me, my love?” 

Your eyes momentarily snapped to Alan, who had turned a paler shade as he watched Alastor’s actions. Now, he was finally seeing who your ‘husband’ was. It appeared to be quite a shocker for the demon.

Your gaze flicked back to Alastor, who stood next to you. That grin of his hiding whatever emotions he was feeling as he slowly released your grip, indicating for you to lead him away.

“Thank you for coming to visit, Alastor. I can stitch that up for you, you’ll just need to let me take it for a bit.” You smiled at him, doing your best to play the part with professionality. What, were you supposed to just start calling him pet names like ‘honey’ and ‘babe’?

“I think I'd prefer keeping it on.” Alastor said curtly, adjusting his collar.

He wanted to still be wearing it while you fixed it? That meant you couldn’t use the sewing machine, without risking injury to him. 

“… I suppose you can just follow me, then.” You replied, turning away as you beckoned him towards the back room. 

Alan didn’t follow the two of you, maybe Alastor’s comments threw him off. You hoped they did, you had enough of that guy for one day. 

You opened the dark gray door, pulling it wide so Alastor could follow behind. The back room was a cozy nook from the busy establishment, half of it transformed into a makeshift tailoring nook. A small step stool nestled among tall mirrors allowed a multi-angle look for customers getting a fitting.

Rolls of fabric lined orderly shelves nearby, accompanied by an array of sewing essentials. In the corner, a small table and chair housed the ancient sewing machine. You walked forward, before realizing 

“Oh, i’m sorry, I don’t have another chair. Let me go get one!” You pivoted to go find a spare, but Alastor only lifted his hand in a sweeping motion, brushing off your attempt.

“Not to worry, my dear! I’ve got it under control.”

He reached a hand forward, gripping the air like he was grabbing the top of the backrest of a chair. He tugged at the air, and a plume of green smoke wafted from his fingertips as he pulled a wooden chair from the smoke.

You stared, mesmerized as he dragged it next to your seat. He gingerly lowered himself, and plopped into the chair. That had to be powerful magic, for him to be able to produce such an object easily from thin air. Just like he did with the seasoning.

Quickly, you gathered the necessary essentials to begin fixing his garment. A couple of needles, some dark red thread, and multiple fabrics that you seemed the closest to his suit’s color. 

While you collected the items in a small bin, Alastor sat comfortably behind you. His nails clicking against his cane rhythmically as the music from the radio filled the room. 

He hummed softly along to the melody, obviously familiar with the tune playing. You had heard it before, a classic rendition of ‘Once In A While’ by Lennie Hayton. It was a softer tune, and an orchestral piece that allowed you to drift into a comfortable lull. 

As you carried the bin back to your seat, you nestled in beside him. There was a small distance between the two of you, your knees a few inches from grazing each other.

“May I?” You asked, holding out your hand to take his sleeve. You thought Alastor was going to react negatively to the gesture, like he did with Alan. Instead, he carefully reached out his arm, allowing you to pull his sleeve down to the surface of the table. 

You tried very hard not to touch his skin, as you adjusted the tear on his cuff to face you. Grabbing a few pieces of fabric, you began to hold them next to his sleeve, attempting to find the perfect match.

“So, what happened this time? Surely, not that snake demon from before.” You spoke, trying to spark conversation with your ‘husband’.

“Ha, I’m glad you do remember our last conversation! I was worried you'd forgotten as the days went by.” Alastor started, sinking deeper into his seat. He placed his cane against the table, 

‘Of course, I'd remember,’ you thought, ‘I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how I try.’

“I had found myself in a rather lively discussion with a particularly vexing imp. Tiny thing, but full of mischief and malice. Managed to get itself tangled in my grip during our little altercation.” He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “I must say, it put up quite the fight for something no larger than a rat. But fear not, I emerged victorious, albeit with a few battle scars.” 

Alastor gestured towards the tear on his sleeve, his eyes sparkling with amusement. You smiled at his words, a small chuckle coming from your throat as you pulled another piece of fabric to his cuff.

Finally, you found the color that matched his attire, and you carefully began cutting a large piece from the roll. 

“I’m going to have to hand sew your tear, is that okay?”

“Of course, my dear! Just try not to poke me, hm?” 

You nodded with a smile, before plucking the small needle from the table. 

With nimble fingers, you carefully align the edges of the fabric, pinching them together to ensure a snug fit. Holding the needle firmly between your thumb and forefinger, you begin to weave the thread in and out with practiced precision, creating neat, tiny stitches along the seam.

“I have been meaning to ask, how did the seasoning I gave you fare?” Alastor spoke, his eyes filled with intrigue as he waited for your response.

“Oh! It was fantastic!” You beamed, your mouth watering slightly as you recalled the wonderful dinner from that night. “They made Crawfish Étouffée, and it was very delicious.” 

“Ah! Yes, that dish was a staple back in New Orleans, when I was alive. Folks would gather all over to get a taste of my mother’s own twist on the delicacy. She was quite the cook, and her skill never faltered.” 

As you listened, you realized his voice softened quite more when he spoke of his mother. That static in his tone seemed to disperse as he mentioned her, and you caught a glimpse of his true voice behind that radio overlay. 

“Well, now that I've gotten a glimpse into such an art. I really am interested in trying your Jambalaya.” You spoke genuinely, your fingers still delicately lacing the thread across his sleeve. 

“I am pleased to hear that,” Alastor hummed, “I’ll have to bring you a sample the next time I'm in the area.”

Silence filled the room, other than the music that wafted from the radio’s speaker. You continued to adjust and stitch together his sleeve, very close to finishing the mending work. 

Even though there were no words spoken between the two of you, the silence was not awkward at all. The two of you simply sat comfortably in each other's presence.

Behind you, the slight crack in the door allowed you to hear the loud voice of Alan, as he spoke to another customer. Alastor’s ears twitched slightly as he heard the demon speaking, his body tensing momentarily.

“Has that wretch been bothering you often?” Alastor spoke after a moment, the static in his voice growing thicker as he spoke of Alan. His claws slightly dug into the table, a faint trail embedded in the wood.

“Well, he doesn't treat me like that succubus did. But, he does not drop the subject of us becoming romantically involved. It gets.. uncomfortable, I guess.”

You sighed as the words slipped from your tongue, a frown forming on your lips as you thought of his many attempts to swoon you. Alastor’s head tilted at your words, that smile cracked even wider as you continued to carefully slip the needle through the fabric. 

“Would you like me to ĐɆVØɄⱤ Ⱨł₴ ₴ØɄⱠ?” 

You jerked your head up at his words, surprise etched on your face as you turned to him. His voice had changed, the last bit of his sentence distorting into pure static, and you almost didn’t catch his words.

The room crackled with energy, causing your hair to practically stand on end. It was chilling, and you shivered subconsciously at the feeling. The room seemed to darken as Alastor stared at you, his pupils shrinking to resemble radio dials.

“Excuse me?” You questioned, your tone never faltering from its original octane. Which surprised you, since this powerful demon was looking at you with such murderous intent.

‘It’s not you he wants to murder.’ the voice in your head whispered. Which made your heart flutter, was Alastor wanting to kill for you? That was.. unconventionally sweet. 

Is that what he did to the succubus the other night when you weren’t looking? 

“If the little oaf can’t keep his words to himself, then there is no place for him to continue to sour your mood.” Alastor explained, his eyes taking their original form slowly as he spoke, and the distortion in his tone subsided.

The shadow festering around you slowly shrank away from your seat, illuminating the room once more. That cold feeling that gripped at your shoulders vanished. 

It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling that left you, even if it smelled of darkness and destruction. It felt almost.. comforting to you. Like the shadow was pulling you into a protective hug, the chill cooling your heated skin into a soothing embrace. 

You only shook your head, “He doesn’t need to die for something like that. And, he’s my boss. Without him, the store wouldn’t run as well.”

Alastor only huffed, leaning back into his seat. His claws left the table, and were instead enclosed into a fist, as he rested his chin atop of it. 

“At least the poor bloke ceased in his courting when he realized another had already taken that place.” He shrugged, his eyes glancing down to the gold ring on your hand.

You halted, the needle hanging in the air mid-stitch. How did he know about you and Alan’s conversation? More importantly, what were his feelings about you still wearing the piece of jewelry? 

“Oh, right. Yes, I’m sorry for still wearing it, I know it was just for that moment and it was stupid for me to think I could keep it-”

“Nonsense! Do not fret, my dear.” Alastor interjected, brushing off your worry. “Think of it as a small gift to rectify the situation you were forced into that night.” 

A gift? He wanted you to keep the ring? 

“You could even go as far as to perceive it as a good luck charm, ha-ha. Trouble seems to never escape you, and if this ring can even give you an ounce of protection, why not keep it on to ensure nothing like that night happens again?”

You smiled at him, your eyebrows raised as you listened to his words. A tiny ring, protecting you? You doubted it.

“Well, thank you, Alastor. It is really nice to know someone cares in that way.” 

Alastor hummed softly in response, his toothy grin softening into a lipped smile as he turned his attention back to the music playing softly. 

The thread tightened snuggly between the two fabrics as you finished the final stitch, your other hand reaching to the small scissors next to you. Carefully, you snipped the thread as close to the sleeve as possible, and you leaned back to take a look at your work.

It looked perfect, like the garment had never taken a hit in the first place. Alastor pulled his arm back slightly, turning it over to inspect it thoughtfully.

“I must say, you have such talent with a needle and thread! When you told me you worked as a door girl, I never expected knowledge of tailoring to be in your resume as well!” 

Your cheeks heated as his compliment, and you began to slowly stand from the seat. For a moment, you wished there was something else wrong with his coat that you could fit. If only to keep him here a little longer.

What a selfish thought. You silently reprimanded yourself for such thinking, Alastor had no doubt better things to do than sit here and chit chat with a powerless nobody like you.

Alastor also left his chair, and he adjusted his collar. He gripped his cane, straightening his posture as he turned to you. 

“It seems every time we’re together, our conversations are never dull. Thank you for assisting me, I’d love to continue our talks but it appears I have other business to attend to.” 

“Back at the hotel?” You asked, as you walked with him to the doorway.

Alastor stopped in his tracks, his eyes widened slightly at your words. He tilted his head at you. “Forgive me, my dear, but I do not remember telling you such a thing. Where did you hear that from?”

Fuck. He never had told you about his place of work, and you writhed slightly under his stare as you tried to come up with an explanation.

“Oh, it’s just an imp had come in this morning, buying a tuxedo for his daughter. He said she ran the Hazbin Hotel. He also said you worked at the hotel too.”

‘And he doesn’t seem to like you.’ you added silently.

Alastor’s grip around his cane tightened, and his smile widened as he thought for a moment. A small chuckle escaped his lips, it sounded dark.

“Are you sure it was an imp, my dear?” He asked slowly.

You nodded, recalling the conversation. “Yes, short with white hair and red skin. Sunglasses too, weirdly. He was quite nice, actually. He gave me some money for helping him, nobody has ever done that for me.” 

“Ha! What a kind soul he must be. Did he say anything else to you, by chance?”

You shook your head, “no, not really.”

“A surprise, really. That imp has a knack for using his charm to bend others to his whim. I'm sure that gesture of his was nothing more than to sweep you off your feet for his antics. I’d keep your distance from demons like him, if I were you.”

Was Alastor.. jealous? He couldn't be. But, it seemed like the feelings between the two were mutual with the way he spoke with disdain. 

The imp seemed like he had someone he cared deeply for, anyway. You were sure his gesture wasn’t anything more than kindness. Although, you didn’t think Alastor would believe you if you told him.

“But, as you previously mentioned, yes,” Alastor changed the conversation, for his sake it seemed, “I do reside at the hotel in exchange for my services. Redeeming sinners is no easy feat, it needs special hands to mold such a dream into reality.”

“Well, I'm sure you’re doing a great job.” You spoke, doing your best to voice your support for him.

Alastor smiled at you, before nodding in agreement. He pulled the door open, and stepped through the doorway. You followed him, stopping at the threshold as he turned back to you. 

He lowered himself slightly, a small curtsy in your direction. As he lifted himself, he leaned closer to you.

“Until we meet again, my wife.” He spoke loudly, most likely for the others in the vicinity to hear. His voice was like honey to your ears as that faint hiss of static dispersed from his tone when his lips settled on wife.

You really did like his voice, and hopefully, you’d hear what it really sounded like more often. His eyes settled on you for a moment longer, as if he wanted to say more. He didn’t, instead turning towards the register across the room.

Leaning against the doorway, you watched Alastor stroll to the cash register. Alan stood behind the counter, and he seemed to shrink slightly under the taller demon’s gaze.

The sharp edges of Alastor’s smile returned as he watched the demon quickly ready the digital display for check-out. His pupils dilating slightly, eyes narrowed as he waited.

You had watched him leave the store, watched him stroll down the street without a glance at anyone else. That mild boredom taking over his features, like it had when he had first arrived.

For the rest of your shift, as you sewed buttons back into place or trimmed stray threads that stuck out of garments, your thoughts continued to stray to events earlier in the day. To that imp, to the ring on your finger, to Alastor and those fluffy little ears on his head.

You were still deep in thought when you clocked out, your feet carrying you out the door as your path led you to the bus stop a few blocks down.

It was a small blue sign, with the symbol of a bus engraved into it. There was no one around, the empty streets quiet as you plopped onto the bench to wait.

Your hands reached into your bag, pulling out your phone from its pocket. You scrolled through your notifications, before clicking on a message from one of your friends.

You were so deep into the screen in front of you, that you didn’t hear the quiet footsteps approach the bench. You didn’t see the knife pointed directly at your face, or the masked man who’s gaze traveled down your form. 

“Hey, you!” A voice coated with malice addressed you.

Your head shot up, and you reeled back at the large knife right in front of your nose. Your heartbeat quickened as you scrambled off the bench, the man only keeping pace with you as you backed away.

“You seem like a nice young lady, and I’d hate to ruin that pretty face of yours. Just give me everything you’ve got, and we can go our separate ways.” 

“I don’t really have anything for you to take!” You said breathlessly, your hands shaking as you pulled miniscule items from your bag. He only ripped the entire thing from your grip, throwing it behind him. 

“What about money? Hand everything over, sweet cheeks.”

You grimaced, before pulling the stack of bills the imp had given you from your person. He ripped them from your grip, before stuffing the money down his pocket.

“That’s all I have, I promise! Please let me go.” You begged, your back hitting the wall of an abandoned building behind you.

You prayed for someone to come to your rescue. Alastor graced your mind, that he’d swoop in to save you once more to save you. He was right, trouble never seemed to leave you.

This time, you’d let him tear this guy apart.

“What about jewelry, huh? I see that ring on your finger, it must cost quite a pretty penny.” The thug sleazed.

Instinctively, you brought your hand to your chest, trying to shield the band from his stare. The demon only closed the distance between the two of you, his mask grazing against your chin as he abruptly yanked you forward.

“Don't fight me, you bitch! Just give it to me, don’t make this difficult.”

His rough hand encircled around your wrist. It was harsh against your skin, and you winced in pain.

“Let go of me! I’ve already given you enough, just leave me alone!” You screamed, hoping someone would come to your aid.

He raked his hand down your finger, the ring slowly moving down your digit as he tried to dislodge it.

It was a snug fit against your skin, and it took him a few moments for him to begin pulling it off your finger. Tears pricked at your eyes as adrenaline pumped through your veins, but you dared not to move with the knife slightly pressing into your side.

Another tug, and the ring grazed over your nail as it was pulled harshly. It wasn’t able to make it past before something strange happened. 

The ring ignited in a green flame, and the thug’s hand shot away as he yelled in pain. It licked at the tip of your finger, but you felt no heat from its touch. 

You barely had time to blink, or scream before the ring exploded. It burst into a large cloud of green smoke that engulfed your figure. Shielding you from your surroundings. Energy crackled in the air, paired with a chill that made your breath visible as you gasped.

It felt like someone had reached out and gripped at the collar of your top, and you felt a much gentler tug and you were pulled backwards.

The smoke seemed to vanish, and you were drenched into darkness. You felt your feet lift off the ground, as if you were floating.

The problem, you had no idea where you were. Your heart felt like it was going to burst as you squeezed your eyes shut. It felt like hours went by, but in truth, it was only a matter of a few seconds that darkness surrounded you.

Just as quickly as it started, it ended, and your closed eyelids were hit with a ray of light. There were voices surrounding you as your feet touched on solid ground, the floor softer this time, like carpet.

The chatter stopped abruptly as you settled in place, and for a moment you felt like curling into a ball and hiding from whatever scene you had been thrusted into.

“Ah, there you are!” A familiar voice exclaimed next to you, static dripping from their words. “I was wondering how long it would be until you showed up!” 

Wait a second, was that Alastor speaking? Was he responsible for whatever the hell just happened?

Your eyes slowly opened, revealing a large room covered in dark red wallpaper that cracked with age. Gold framed the edges, and lights mounted on the walls illuminated a few paintings that filled the empty space.

It looked like a lobby. Couches nestled in a corner around a small box tv. Next to that was a small bar, bottles of liquor stacked on shelves behind the counter. 

Your eyes trailed away, before they landed on a small group of demons in front of you. Your breath quickened in fear, as you quickly scanned over their figures. 

There was a woman in a red tuxedo, her mouth slightly parted in surprise. Long platinum-blonde hair tied into a neat ponytail as it traveled down her back. Beside her, a tall snake held a hand to his chest as he leaned back slightly, as if he was more afraid of you than you were of him. 

There were a few others too, but your mind was racing so fast you weren’t able to get a settle on their frames before you eyes were bouncing around for an exit.

It wasn’t until you felt someone’s arm snake around your elbow did you whip your head to the side, Alastor’s large smile greeting you as he laced his arm with yours in comfort, no doubt noticing the way your knees were about to buckle. 

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, my dear!” He exclaimed, as if your arrival was expected and totally-not-strange whatsoever. His eyes were soft, doing his best to calm you with his familiar presence. You opened your mouth to speak, even though you weren’t sure exactly what to say.

“Who the fuck is that?” The fuzzy, pink spider demon piped up from the shocked onlookers. A pair of hands on his hips as he regarded you with confusion. 

Your lips upturned into a faint smile, and you lifted your hand for a half-hearted wave.

“Um, hi..?” 

I hope you enjoyed part 2! Sorry for that cliff hanger 😭 i hate doing that but had to end it somewhere haha

and.. hold up yall…

for real?! i did not expect this my first month on this app, nor at all really 😍 what started as “just this one luci one-shot..” became so much more!

Thank you all for the support and love you’ve given me, lowkey itching to buy a computer just for writing (yes, all my fics have been written with sore thumbs haha)

HUGE thanks to @spoiled-slutt for being my beta reader and helping me brainstorm ideas for this part! They’ve been an amazing help, and you should definitely check out their works if they interest you! <3

have a great day, my swans! 🦢

—

taglist:

@the-tortured-poet @anonymousewrites @coleisyn @froggybich @chewbrry @watchinthestarz @mechanicalmari @luxmessorem @plapperlapapp @wonderlife974 @kottenox @cherry-cola-100 @the-shark-named-sharon @rae-pottah @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @corpsebridenightamare @pweewee @nijiru @ourfinalisation @anuttellaa @nonetheartist @bunnypeew @cryptidghostgirl @hxzbinwrites

[giamee]

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝟐 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄!

୨♡୧ pairings :: blade x reader ; sampo x reader ; gepard x reader ; dan heng x reader ; jing yuan x reader ; luocha x reader

୨♡୧ gia's notes :: writing this as a quick lil thing because i just finished school and i want to like,,, pay homage to the crushes ive had on my classmates LMAO this is so self indulgent i'm delulu... gonna miss seeing them in the hallways ,,, this one kinda mid i wrote it on my phone while half asleep AND ITS EXAM SEASON RAHHHHHH

୨♡୧ contains: modern!school!au, fem!reader sorry, most definitely ooc because these are based off of real people oops, just cute lil crushes man feel free to judge my taste in men !

𓆩♡𓆪 BLADE

-he's in your biology class, but not close enough to really get to talk to him

-you're not sure what to make of him, but you see him in the gym a few times when you're there as well

-his stony exterior, however, is shattered in your eyes when you enter the gym one day to find it empty other than just him in there, blasting his playlist out loud

-out of all of the possible genres he could he listening to, you weren't expecting a drill remix of anime osts

-you can't help the giggle that escapes your lips from what you're witnessing, and blade freezes upon hearing it before whipping his head round to face you like a deer in headlights

-he scrambles to turn it off as you set up at a squat rack, and it's almost endearing to see such a stoic classmate look so flustered

-you almost felt bad for the guy, and you hesitated before asking blade if he could spot for you

-and just like that, the ice was officially broken

-the two of you talked more frequently now, even becoming sort of friends through your shared class and the gym

-more frequent talks gave way to the more intimate aspects of blade's personality- as it turned out, he was quite touchy

-lingering touches when spotting you in the gym turned to his leg pressed against yours when you sit next to each other- leaning into your personal space a little too close to call it casual, and the bastard enjoyed the way you got flustered when his face got near to yours and the way that people looked at the pair of you and whispers, rumours, started to fly

-"if you keep sitting that close to me, people are going to think that we're dating," you huffed at him

-blade didn't even glance up from his phone that he was scrolling through with one hand, the other resting against the back of your chair

-"good." you were glad that he didn't look up to see the way that your eyes widened and you turned your head to the side to hide the giddy smile that was creeping onto your face

-and despite you enabling this, all the harmless flirting, there was some unquellable part of you that screamed to be set free and hoped for something more. that when he made you look him in the eyes with a finger under your chin, he wasn't just doing it to tease you

-there was undeniably something going on between the two of you, but there was also the unspoken mutual decision to not mention it

-and so you resigned your self to the realm of just friends. it would be easier this way, to move on without any ties before uni

-yet on the last day, you found him scrawling his phone number in your yearbook with a demand to stay in touch, and it left you looking down at the inked digits with the thing in your chest set free, telling you that your feelings might just be reciprocated

𓆩♡𓆪 SAMPO

-your deskmate in chemistry because of a stupid seating plan that didn't change the entire year

-you've never really spoken before, but he's well-known for being rowdy

-his friends sit nearby, and most of his conversations consisted of talking to them loudly while leaning across your desk, while you try to balance your chemical equations

-other than that, you keep to yourselves mostly

-it isn't until your chemistry teacher is going on a tiresome rant about the bohr effect that you shift your attention away from the board, your eyes instead focusing on sampo and the pen in his hands as he twirled it through his fingers effortlessly

-you nudged him slightly, pointing to his hand and mouthing at him "how do you do that?"

-sampo smirks, leaning in closer to you and keeping his voice at a low whisper to avoid alerting your chemistry teacher

-"so you hold the end like this..." sampo whispers to you, demonstrating with the end of his pen. you nod and try not to think about how small the pen looks compared to his fingers, fixing your grip

-"and then you hold it loose, and flick it around your thumb" sampo demonstrates it effortlessly, catching the pen in his hand and smiling at you

-you concentrate on your own, feeling his gaze against the side of your face instilling slight tremors in your hand

-you attempt the spin, watching as the pen teeters before falling and landing on your desk with a clatter

-you hear sampo snort beside you, and your teacher whips his head around and fixes the pair of you with a glare

-"am i interrupting something?" you and sampo both snapped your attention back towards your teacher as he looked at you both pointedly before continuing with his lecture

-you braved a peek at your deskmate, seeing the way his eyes were stubbornly facing forwards while a slight smirk adorned his face

-it became almost a ritual for you to attempt sampo's stupid pen trick each lesson

-it looked so simple, you didn't get how you were still struggling to do it, and your focus was pretty much anywhere except on the lesson

-sampo watched on in idle amusement at your frustration, sometimes demonstrating it to you again just to rub it in before getting elbowed by you

-besides him poking fun at you, there was also a sweeter side to sampo

-there was a day where you had forgotten to wear your contacts, and were effectively blind the entire day

-despite being nearer to the front, you couldn't even read the board when you squinted

-you ended up asking sampo to read what was on the board to you, and with an exaggerated sigh he did so, whispering the words to you in the same low voice that had the hairs on the back of your neck standing up

-"you owe me, you know," he told you jokingly, pointing at your homework

-you rolled your eyes, sliding it over to him

-"i don't know why you think that the answers will be right, but sure"

-"hey, at least you did the homework"

-uhhhh idrk how to end this SORRY

-you guys got along well and then the year finished and you weren't in the same class any more

-whenever you see him in the corridors you smile at each other though

𓆩♡𓆪 GEPARD

-he sits in the seat opposite from you in your english class

-you can't help zoning out when the lesson gets boring, and more often than not that results in you inadvertedly staring at gepard until you snap back to reality and realise that you've locked eyes with him, resulting in both of you hastily looking away with pink dusting both of your cheeks

-it's hard not to look at his handsome face, and your wandering eyes often get drawn to him against your will

-the sun hits his hair just right from the window behind him, and he looks like an angel with a halo when he's concentrating with a furrowed brow and taking notes about chaucer

-he's not too bad of a person to be sat across, in short

-you see gepard from time to time in the library, and by luck's draw, one of the only free seats in a particularly busy hour ends up being next to him

-he glances up when you place your books down, shooting you a quick smile before turning back to his own work

-you're about to put on your headphones and start revising, but you catch the faint melody of an ice spice song blasting from gepard, oblivious to the world

-it takes a lot of self control to not burst out laughing in the middle of the library, but you text this information to your friend instead while biting back a smile

-she responds after a few seconds with a link to gepard's spotify account, telling you to take a look through his playlists

-risking a glance at gepard, still heavily focusing on his work, you click on the link and begin to scroll through his account

-you find yourself growing more and more blown away by his music choice

-someone who was so serious and stoic didn't seem like the type to have one of the most insane tastes in music you've ever seen, but you liked it

-it offered you a more human side to his aloof self

-when you saw him start to subconsciously mouth the words in time with ice spice, though, that's when you snorted a little

-and when gepard looked up at you in confusion, you waved him off

-maybe you would try talk to him after class more

𓆩♡𓆪 DAN HENG

-although he doesn't share a lesson with you, dan heng actually takes the same bus to get home from school

-you have a tendency to oversleep in the mornings, so you've never had the opportunity to realise this as the buses you take arrive at school minutes before the bell

-and after school, you can leave as soon as lessons finish, and your differing timetables kept you apart as well

-but after a day at the library in school, you ended up getting a bus nearer to the end of the day rather than your usual time

-because of this, you found that most of the other students at your school were getting this first bus back, and a lot less of the seats were available

-you scanned the seats, searching for an empty spot when you got on, and you saw dan heng sat on his own, looking out the window with his earphones in

-you recognised him as a guy in your year and headed to where he sat, gripping your bag tighter for emotional support

-"could i sit here?" you spoke before realising that he probably couldn't hear you over the sound of his music, and you hesitated before tapping him on the shoulder

-his attention snapped to you before he shuffled slightly, leaving you with ample space to take a seat

-you didn't talk much, feeling self conscious of your feed as you scrolled through your phone next to dan heng, waiting for the stop where you would get your second bus

-you were lucky that you were sat closer to the aisle, and didn't have to make things more awkward by asking him to get up too

-you pressed the button to stop the bus, picking up your bag and getting off

-but to your surprise, as you looked behind you to check if it was clear to cross the road, you saw that dan heng had gotten off of the bus as well

-which wasn't too weird, really. there were plenty of other buses to take from here

-yet your suspicions were confirmed as you realised that you and dan heng were headed for the same bus, stopping in the same queue with him just behind you

-normally you would keep to yourself, but you must have been feeling extra talkative that day because you decide to strike up a conversation with him

-"so you take this bus as well?"

-dan heng nodded, taking out an earphone to better hear you as you both waited for the bus

-"yeah, in the morning too"

-"i'm guessing the early one? i always miss it because i sleep in"

-dan heng smiles and shrugs

-"maybe you should go to sleep earlier, then"

-"yeah, maybe"

-the pair of you talk a bit, and despite his appearance dan heng is actually quite fun to talk to, though he moreso tends to listen to you rant and occasionally provides some input, which seems to suit you both just fine

-come next morning, you found yourself waking up a little easier than usual, getting ready and leaving your house earlier than usual

-and as a result, you managed to catch the early bus

-you spotted his cropped dark hair almost as soon as you got on, and decided to sidle up to him again

-dan heng spotted you this time, though, and even offered you a smile as he pulled put his earphones as youvsat down next to him

-"so i'm guessing that you slept earlier, huh?"

-if it meant getting to talk to him more, you'd be in bed before it even got dark

-but he didn't have to know that

𓆩♡𓆪 JING YUAN

-he's that one guy in the year who's just universally loved, by teachers and students alike

-he's warm, he's studious, he's head boy, and he's practically everyone's friend

-it's not uncommon to see plenty of the girls in your year go up to him to try and flirt, and for others to look on in jealousy at their attempts

-and despite everyone's best efforts, jing yuan remained single

-as much as you didn't want to, you couldn't help but get a crush on him, just like every other girl in the year

-your heart beats out of your chest when you walk past him in the corridor and he gives you a smile and nod

-your knees feel weak when you see him in the library studying, his handsome face scrunched in concentration

-and though you may only be observing from afar, you're completely content with that

𓆩♡𓆪 LUOCHA

-luocha is a friend of yours that you made pretty recently

-there's a quiet charm to him that leaves you feeling at ease, and you've found it incredibly comforting to be in his presence when revising for exams

-even though he's a man of few words, he's managed to keep you as grounded as you can be during the stress of your last days of school before it's over

-it all came to an emotional headway at prom night

-you had been drinking a little, and with the night coming to an end the realisation that you wouldn't be seeing most of the people here again had you feeling teary eyed

-luocha found you on the dancefloor, pulling you towards him without a word and letting you just cling onto his suit as you both swayed in time to the slower song

-you let the soothing scent of him wash over you as you started to wind down at the end of the night, and you felt one of his gentle hands resting on your back as you began to wind your arms around his neck too

-"it was nice to know you," you mumbled to him, voice muffled by the material of his suit

-you felt luocha's grip on you tighten almost imperceptibly, a sign that he had heard you regardless

-"you can still know me" he murmured, and in your hazy state of mind you relaxed into him even further

-"that would be nice"

-as prom came to an end and after you had gotten over the air of finality, the pain from wearing your heels all night was beginning to kick in

-your car was parked a while away and while you did want to just go home, the prospect of taking another step was making you wince

-luocha was quick to notice your hesitance, and before you even said anything he was crouching down in front of you, telling you to "get on" which you gratefully did

-his warm hands wrapped securely around your thighs, supporting your weight as you told luocha where to go

-he made it to your car effortlessly, letting you down carefully and even opening your own car door for you

-you giggled at him being a gentleman as you got behind the wheel, smiling up at him with a bittersweet pang in your heart

-"thanks for everything, luocha"

-the man hesitated for a second, before returning your smile

-"any time"

-he ducked down, leaning in closer to you, and you felt yourself inhale sharply as he wrapped his arms around you, encasing you in a last embrace before you would part ways for the last time

-"keep in touch, okay?"

-"okay"

୨♡୧ honkai star rail masterlist

[trashfangirlsworld]

Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.

they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.

we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.

the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.

quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.

quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.

At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.

[kanmom51]

Are you sure?! Jeju - Episode 5

And here you have it ladies and gentlemen.

Jikook KNEW they were enlisting together back at the end of September 2023!!!

Let's have a look at the conversation and talk about a couple of things I noticed.

End of September they knew they were enlisting within give or take a couple of months. Not a huge secret, as most of us already concluded by that point, that all 4 remaining members would be enlisting by the end of 2023 (and when I say we I mean the non delusional JK solos that wanted him to do things he himself didn't want to do and that NEVER listened to what JK was telling us throughout the year).

Now the thing that I noticed.

JM is talking about this as a done deal.

One that Tae knew about.

He's not delivering news to Tae, he's just confirming that he knows they are serving together.

And the thing is that from their conversation it appears that they have discussed their decision to enlist together with the other members (not Tae).

From JM:

From JK:

And Tae...

This is obviously the first time they have discussed this with him.

Isn't that a little strange though? Tae hearing about this for the first time here? Not having the same kind of discussion with them about their joint enlistment before Jeju? Before the decision and it being a done deal? (not with his 'husband' nor his 'soulmate')

The feeling I get, and don't come at me for this, is that as much as Tae was trying to show throughout the show just how close he is to JM (not JK), how well he knows him, how much Alone represents him, how much he cares for him, that as it happens, in real life they are most definitley not as close as they used to be. Are they friends? Of course they are. Are they good friends? I do believe they are. Are they super close, involved in each others lives, know about their schedules, music, wants, needs, plans (short and long term)? Involved in those plans or turn to each other for advice regarding said plans? I think that the answer to that one would be an astounding NO. Especially coming from JM's side. I mean, read between the lines. JM didn't even know Tae liked Alone.

It's obvious that Jikook are all that for each other, but that's kind of a given, right? But that supposed closeness that the fandom was always all about between JM and Tae, the 'soulmates' - that is just not there. Sorry not sorry (for bursting some people's dreams and delusions).

It is obvious that the Jikook have discussed their decision to enlist together with Jin and the other older members. It is also obvious that they didn't have that kind of discussion with Tae before making that joint decision.

It is what it is.

(And what exactly does that say about JK and Tae's level of closeness? Will the cult claim that this is also all scripted? So Tae is part of this malicious conspiracy?, questions I will not bother answering, yuck)

And it is obvious that the two had thought this our thoroughly and had dismissed the concerns, knowing each other, knowing how strong they are together, knowing how much they needed (physically and mentally) to not be pulled apart for the 18 months of their military service.

Don't they fight? Well of course they do. But their relationship is so solid that they know how to deal with conflict and overcome it. Not to mention the elephant in the room... yo, Jin, they aren't just friends and you know it, lol. But seriously, even if this was only about a friendship, you can't compare the two of them with everything they have been through together as BTS, as Jikook within BTS, to other good 'normal' friendships.

And perhaps this is it. The reason why they are such a strong loving couple. It's been a while since I've talked about this. Having such a strong friendship as a base to their relationship is what makes the relationship so solid. Falling in love with a close friend, someone you know through and through, for all their good and their bad, seeing them at their best and at their worst and still falling for them... that makes for some shit strong relationship.

Point being, other than knowing just how strong their relationship is, to all the haters out there - you can scream until you are blue in the face, claim they are not together, claim they split up, claim they hate each other, claim they were snatched by aliens, same same, for all intents and purposes - those two are unbreakable. Either get with the program or fuck the hell off.

He knew what he was talking about.

*The translation is just of the first part of the letter.

That was them doing the serious.

And then, as always, they just had to go unserious on us, lol.

But you see, that's exactly how those two are. And that is one of the strengths of their relationship. The level of intimacy they have is off the charts, sticking together through good and bad, coming out on the other side stronger than ever.

To end their discussion we have this:

Yeah, they are 'loving' having to enlist...

NOT!!!

But at least they managed to soften the blow and are doing this together!!!

One last comment before I end this one.

We talked about how it was showing that JK had a weight lifted off his shoulders. He was just lighter. Happier. Even with Tae there, lol. And it was kind of funny to see this, seeing that JK was knee deep into his solo work and just before his promotions for 3D and then Golden. But JK in Jeju was not the same as JK in CT. And now we know why!!

[sinkovia]

Coffee shop

Simon Riley x Fem!Reader

You work at a small cafe that Simon starts visiting when he’s not deployed.

Coffee Shop Masterlist

After months of deployment, Simon was finally discharged, and the decision to settle down took root within him. Years of moving between apartments during deployments led him to the conclusion that it was time to have a place to call his own, a familiar haven to return to. He opted for a one-bedroom house in a quiet neighborhood of a small town—a space he could truly call home.

What appealed to him the most about this place was the convenience of having many things within walking distance, reducing the need for constant driving.

One of his newfound discoveries was a small cafe just five minutes away from his house. After finishing his workout in the afternoon, he grabbed one of the many books he had ordered and walked down. As he entered, the cozy atmosphere embraced him, and there were only a few patrons inside, eliciting a small sigh of relief from him.

It felt like the perfect place to unwind and delve into his books, a quaint spot where he could enjoy the simplicity of life after the rigors of military service.

When you saw him walk in, you took in his appearance and greeted him with a welcoming smile. Standing tall, he was a behemoth of a man, and you instinctively assumed he would order a straightforward black coffee. However, as he approached the counter and confidently stated his order for black tea in a strong Manchester accent, you nearly froze.

"Is something wrong?" His deep voice resonated, and you softly smiled, "Not at all, sir. I'm sorry. Would you like any sugar or milk?"

He grabbed his wallet and placed a ten-dollar bill on the counter, "Plain is fine."

Walking away, he took a seat near the front of the cafe, affording him a clear view of everyone entering and a pleasant sight through the nearby window. Your brows furrowed at the ten-dollar bill.

Where on God's green earth did he ever pay ten dollars for a cup of tea?

After making his cup, you retrieved his change of six dollars and approached his table. He seemed deeply engrossed in his book, you almost felt bad for interrupting him.

"Here's your tea, and the tea is only four dollars. This is your change." He glanced at the money on the table before looking up at you. His gaze lingered, taking in your features; you looked only a few years younger than him.

You were pretty too.

Shifting your weight from one leg to the other, you felt his eyes wandering. "Keep the change, love." His use of the endearment caught you off guard. People around here never spoke that way, but then again, based on his accent, you knew he wasn't from the area.

"Oh no, that's too much. Please, keep it." He picked up the cup, bringing it to his lips. After taking a sip, his eyes slightly widened. It was the best cup of tea he had had in years.

"Consider it a tip then. You know how to make a good cup," he said, and you smiled, feeling proud that this giant man appreciated the way you made tea.

"Thank you. That's very sweet of you to say." He hummed in response, and you took it as a sign to let him go back to his book and read in peace. You gathered the cash on the table and tucked it into your apron as you walked away.

After taking off your apron in the back, you made yourself a cup of tea before settling down in the corner of the cafe with a book. Simon glanced up at you, noticing an older man standing in your place at the register.

Were you on break?

His eyes returned to the pages of his book, and he continued reading until he heard you get up after about thirty minutes, standing back at the register with the book still in your hand. The only customers to come in were an older couple who chose to sit in the back, away from Simon.

A small timer on his watch beeped quietly, and he turned it off. Having spent around an hour and a half at the cafe, he thought it was a good time to head back home. Your eyes went to him when you heard the quiet beeping, observing as he tore a small piece of the napkin and used it as a bookmark. You smiled to yourself, recalling how you used to do the same before you started doodling on strips of paper to use as bookmarks.

As he got up from his seat, you smiled and called out to him, "Have a nice day."

He responded with a gruff "you too" before walking out and heading back home. Simon appreciated the quiet and emptiness of the cafe and decided he would definitely be returning tomorrow.

[skelliko]

kazutora hanemiya |°- is it platonic or romantic?

|°- Baji and chifuyu tried to convince kazu that he's actually in love (good timeline)

normally kazutora wouldn't be the one to get so confused over his feelings about another, normally he'd be seeking the opportunity to be able to feel 'love' and the comfort that's supposed to come with it. but right now this feeling that he's getting is the most prominent and confusing feeling he's ever gotten.

this feeling has grown to be more than uncomfortable, it's tightening around his throat so much that he needs to wrap his hand around the base of his neck, feeling his pulse thumping through the thin layer of skin that's in-between the gap of his collar bones. his stomach feels like an empty cave that holds a singular spider making pointless webs that won't be able to catch anything, and his chest seems to always feel some sort of anguishing heat that could also be mistaken for coldness.

he's not in love. is he? if this is the feeling that people get when they start to like someone then he wishes to erase every form of a sappy, love bullshit. this doesn't feel romantic at all, its agonising.

your perfume fills his nostrils but you're no where near by, it's just him alone almost unable to sit through this aching tightness. it's gotten so bad that he feels like he needs to throw up in order to banish this painful feeling. but he's not going to purge, that'd be an obscure decision to make for himself. but him sitting up on his bed with trembling hands makes it seem that maybe its not a bad attempt.

you're his friend, nothing more. sure he feels like he can listen to you forever while finding your rambling cute. and sure he always feels the need to playfully hold your hand which then causes some laughter about the odd movements you both do. and when you both take unexpected pictures here and there of each other; hes always looking back at the photos he's taken of you longer than a minute whilst smiling at them, seeing your captured smile makes him smile. but there's nothing wrong with thinking or feeling that way about a friend, right? yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.

but the thought of you being with someone else puts his stomach through a repetitive feeling of falling, it's as if kazutora is in a constant state of being pushed off a high ledge. you being with someone else spikes his anxiety high and the need of being with you is always there to distract you from any other potential takers that could snatch you up, take, and keep you away from kazu.

---

it wasn't until after a week of this bullshitting that kazutora ended up talking about this odd feeling about you to Baji and chifuyu. chifuyu certainly had the most fun with this little discussion out of the three of them whereas Baji took it a tad bit more seriously knowing that kazutora's feelings shouldn't be taken as a joke.

kazu yapping his heart out about you, mentioning how he feels this and that with you, how it pains him when you're pained and he'd do anything to keep you safe and secure. but also how he feels empty on the inside when thinking about you, how he wishes that time could just stop when your both having a wholesome, heart melting moment because he's afraid that someone will rip kazutora's hand away from your grasp and replace him making neither of your eyes to ever meet again.

"seems like you love her" chifuyu spoke up, he held a little smile and rested his jaw on his palm almost as if he was fascinated when listening to kazu talk about his 'best friend'

"I don't though! I'm just attached to her- or something like that" immediately protesting against the comment whilst waving his hand around at 'whatevet' but opened his mouth again after a second "I think..."

"you think?" chifuyu pestered in hopes of getting kazutora to think more clearly. it's clear that he's yet to understand what he feels right now.

even though Baji became lost in the middle of kazutora's rant cause he kept on going back and forth from feeling happy about you to then feeling almost anguished; the question that was asked next certainly hit kazutora where it pained him the most.

"oi, if you can't tell if it's platonic or more, picture her at her wedding that isn't yours. are you happy for her or do you wish to be the one marrying her?" (idea isnt mine, i got this from a video)

chifuyu looked over at Baji but then immediately moved his eyes over at kazutora to see his reaction "ohhh good one!"

"that's stupid. marriage is a big thing y'know" kazu rolled his eyes over to the side but deep down he was thinking

you at a wedding? he couldn't help but grow angry at the thought of you being off the market for romance. he grew nauseous and sick at just the thought of you being latched onto another person that's not him but he wasn't gonna show that. he doesn't want you to be with someone else but that doesn't mean he wants to date you either, he just wants you all to himself... which thinking back at that now makes it sound really selfish of him. is he even actually capable of romance?

he began to fiddle with the folds of his trousers by his knee whilst sat down on the carpet floor in Baji's room. taking hold of a fold with his pointer finger and thumb and rubbing the fabric together creating some very subtle vibrations against his finger tips as it forcebly brushes against itself. kazutora stayed silent.

"soooo you gonna answer?" - chifuyu

kazu didn't even look up at him, he didn't look up at all since his eyes were just down at this fingers fiddling with his trousers. on the outside he may seem distracted but on the inside he was very much deep in thought, he kept going back and forth on how to verbalise this feeling to then wanting to just shut down, leave and not talk about you or to anyone at all.

but what if the time that he's here, you've already found someone new to talk to, you'll cast Kazutora away and hell never see you again... once that thought popped up he stopped fiddling and it was only then that he made a decision.

"i want her forever. i could love her if it'll mean she stays with me" though as he said this it didn't seem like he was all too happy about it, but he also didn't seem upset by it either. it was as if kazutora found a solution but that said solution seemed to be the only way even tho he hoped there to be more.

"you don't seem too happy about that" baji raising a singular brow

"cause I want to love her but I feel like I'll be unable to"- kazu

"but you just said that you'd love her..." chifuyu mentioned, then silence filled the room for a breif moment, kazutora opened his mouth to speak but before he could make a sound something clicked in Chifuyu's brain "wait don't tell me you're emotionally unavailable! that'd make so much sense but also make things more harder to understand"

"hah?" beyond confused as to what chifuyu is talking about here

"no ignore him tora" Chifuyu looked over at Baji a little offended at the disagreement "you just need a big push, it's clear you want her but i think your not allowing yourself to. your in denial"

"I'm not in 'denial' I know what I feel" kazu protesting even though that's far from the truth,

"and that is?" -baji

silence filled the room again. neither of them have any actual experience with the feeling of love in terms of romance but yet they managed to put kazutora in a corner. because although he's the one who's the closest in getting with or has talked to a girl that makes him flutter; he's the only one who can't understand the feeling of 'love'. it's as if his feelings are behind a blurred window whereas for everyone else it's clear, no matter how hard he squints his eyes to try and see what's behind the window, theres always a possibility that he may think wrongly about the feelings and mix this current feeling for something else. hence why he can't tell if this 'love' is platonic or romantic.

chifuyu broke the silence with a question "would you date her?" to which kazutora responded with a pained and stressed "I don't know" any more of this and he might just get agitated from the amount of strain he has with his emotions

"okay wait let's start off simple" chifuyu waving his hands in front of him to switch up the question. Baji looked over at him a little confused on what he's gonna do or ask but after a few questions in, he understood clearly what game chifuyu is playing.

asking him some basic questions such as, "would you hold her hand?" to which kazu said how you both already do. "would you kiss her?" and with almost no hesitation kazu replied with a yes. "would you text her every day and night?" maybe? it depends "would you tell her that you love her? lets start with platonicly" yes. "would you do something sexual with her" if she's comfortable.

before either chifuyu or Baji could ask another question in hopes of kazu being able to open his mind more, kazutora spoke up and cut their next question off.

these questions went back and forth and over time kazutora knew what Chifuyu was doing, and although some questions seemed to be a little hard to answer at first, he felt almost relieved to answer them because over time he managed to link everything up and be able to unblur the window from before. he finally understood... kinda.

"I'd date her..." but even with saying this out loud it still made his stomach turn, something still wasn't right which made him feel as if something was wrong with what he just claimed, or maybe theres something wrong with him. but he didn't verbalise this feeling.

both Baji and chifuyu smiled at kauz's little statement about wanting to date you, they even exclaimed a few words here and there as if they were proud of him for being able to realise that he generally wants you.

"but I think I'll wait for her to do the first move" kazutora's smile died down a little from before and after stating this their 'little' celebration also died down

"oh c'mon! you went through all this just to not come forward to her?" - chifuyu

"that makes sense" Baji nodding his head but then froze for a second when a thought came up "but what if she never does?" this definitely didn't cause kazu to become relieved, it caused the opposite.

'shit' he thought. there's always that being a possibility. if you never end up making a move on taking the friendship further into it being romantic then he'll never be able to express himself the way he wishes to, he won't be able to cuddle you close to the point where it seems as if your soles would conjoin, he won't be able to feel his face being plastered with your sweet kisses, and he certainly won't be able to call you his.

why is 'love' so frustrating?

"I think you should make your move" Baji suggested making chifuyu to nod his head in agreement. but it only caused kazu to let out a sigh, tired? frustrated? feeling nauseous again? it's all three at the same time.

he knows he can't keep up with this any longer, if for one day he feels fine with you but then the next he feels like he needs to be put in a mental asylum; it'll eventually cause him to break completely, and that's far from what he wants for himself. and then again, what if you love him but only platonicly? even if kazutora secretly is still unsure what he feels, he knows that if you were to make the first move hell agree to whatever words you spew out if it means that you both will get together and be able to do all those comforting, romantic activities.

he buried his face in his hands and mumbled a few curse words to himself which caused Chifuyu and Baji to share an almost apologetic look. "hey, don't beat yourself up! were thinking of the worst case here but what if she's feeling the same way as you" chifuyu spoke up trying to ease some sort of pain, Baji pitched in too "I reckon shes feeling the same way you are"

"forget it, I'll get over her at some point" kazu lifting his head up from his hands and repositioning himself comfortably on the floor. it's like his whole demeanor changed from being all beat up to just brushing it off with a 'whatever' but we all know this is just a facade and he'll eventually break again, hes not that strong in terms of being able to contain his emotions.

 ♡---

as of currently, he's given up on the topic and there's nothing that could make him re-continue the subject. but one day, he'll get his senses knocked back on alert and his eyes will glisten with hearts because his mind had decided that he's sick and tired of this longing feeling which will lead to him confess about his emotions and feelings towards you. it could be months, weeks, days, or of the strain that he has is too much right now it could even be a few hours, but who knows.

if there's one thing that's for sure though, it's that kazutora truly does love her but he's just unfamiliar with the feeling and due to that it's making him freak out. it's like putting a rain forest lizard in a desert and expecting it to immediately adapt, the sudden change in temperature and environment will cause the lizard to be put under too much stress and soon enough it'll flake away into the oblivion. maybe not the best example to use in terms of the end but the beginning is definitely on point.

[canichangemyblogname]

I’d personally like to know what fandom they’re in because every third day since May of this year, I have been subjected to takes that include statements like:

Tommy will cheat on Buck because gay men cheat.

Tommy will give Buck an STI because gay men sleep around.

I hope Tommy dies of AIDS.

Tommy is homophobic for dating Buck instead of a “femme twink bottom.”

If I were Buck, I’d have killed Tommy for flirting with me.

If you like Buck x Tommy, you’re just a fetishizer. Even if you’re a queer man. I said what I said.

We should stone Tommy.

M/M romantic relationships have always centered women.

Temu is a predator for dating a grown man who’s younger then him.

Jakey only wants Buck for his body and youth because gay men are shallow and superficial.

Which crime makes you want to execute Tteokbokki the most? Cutting a date short or calling a man by his given name?

Gay men are never actually gay; they just think they are. They actually like women, but don’t realize it or are lying.

Men like T*mmy should be beheaded for flirting with men the way he has with Buck.

Tommy is such a typical gay man, forcing himself on Buck in his loft and turning him gay.

Gay men are all liars, so I don’t expect Buck to put up with Tommy long.

Stereotypes about gay men obvi come from somewhere, and that’s real life! I have good cause to think Tommy will be bad for Buck as a gay man!

Buck’s not actually into men; Tommy is your typical man and pressured/coerced Buck into a relationship.

Tommy and Buck dating makes light of women’s relationship trauma.

Someone needs to tell Buck that he’s actually in love with his best friend!

The gayest thing to ever happen to Buck isn’t kissing a man or the implication he’s had sex with that man, but the one time he told his best friend he’d beat him up.

Buck x Tommy is problematic because they’re both men.

Tommy is a pedo because queer people prey on children and a teen in the show called him “cool” off-screen.

Any number of takes calling fans of 911’s recent decision to expand queer representation by including a same-sex male couple “bummies” or “bummers” << UK queer people have told y’all to knock it off. It’s a slur.

Also any number of takes saying that Buck & Tommy’s relationship feels “off-putting,” “creepy,” “gross,” “weird,” “nauseating,” or “obscene”

If you flirt with men like Tommy, you’re a predator. Simple.

Tommy is a freak and a fetishizer.

Relationships are only meaningful and worthwhile if it’s a slow burn and you more friends for the better part of a decade first.

I think this queer guy is secretly in love with and pining for his (straight) best friend.

Queer guys and straight guys can’t be friends; the attraction gets in the way.

Buck is going to cheat on Tommy because Tommy’s old and has a low libido and Buck’s a bisexual slut.

Tommy is grooming Buck!

So, yeah, I’d like to know what fandom you’re in where people are being homophobic to real queer people for *not* liking Tommy, because all I’ve seen is people literally sending death threats and CSAM fics to queer people—often specifically targeting queer men—who support 911’s newest canon queer couple. It has been MONTHS of targeted harassment. Months. I’d like to know WHO these people are who are harassing queer people in the name of defending a “homophobic queer character,” and then I’d like to know how that character is homophobic.

Please—I beg—tell me how Tommy is a “homophobic” gay man. How is he anything like the self-proclaimed “homophobic gay men” of buddieblr? Do tell. Without relying on any tropes about gay men being predatory. Because the only reason y’all think he is and can and would “groom” or “prey upon” a grown man is based in very popular irl queerphobic stereotypes about queer men. Y’all have spent the last five months essentially saying: “I want to subject this fictional character to violence because of real life false conceptions about men like him.”

[auras-moonstone]

say don’t go — ethan landry

word count: 3.2k

pairing: hockey player!ethan landry x fem!reader

based on: say don’t go by taylor swift

summary: ethan has to move to another state to play for his dream hockey team so he decides to break up with his girlfriend, leaving her heartbroken

warnings: angst. break-up. fluff.

author’s note: hiii! long fic bc of my absence:) LOVE writing about hockey player ethan 😫 by the way, i saw retribution the other day, i actually really liked it. it wasn’t as bad as people painted it.

Y/N AND ETHAN HAD BEEN DATING FOR ALMOST A YEAR, which meant that they knew each other like the back of their hands, hence why Y/N had the intuition that his boyfriend was planning on breaking up with her.

The distance started when Ethan was signed off to the Chicago Blackhawks. As soon as he finished college, he would move to Illinois and Y/N didn’t know where she would fit in his new life, if she would even fit. He hadn’t talked about it with her, he barely even mentioned hockey around her anymore. And she just knew—she would soon stop being part of his life and it was a matter of time until Ethan sat her down and tell her.

The waiting was sadness, and as the days flew by it was slowly driving her into madness. And then she finally got the text from him, asking her to go to his house. She drove there with a heavy heart, knowing it was going to be the last time she passed those streets.

Meanwhile, Ethan was pacing around his living room with a tight chest and tears threatening to leave his eyes. He did not want to do it, he had been pushing away the conversation because he wasn’t ready to let her go. He still wasn’t ready, but it was for the best.

When Y/N parked the car in his driveway and got out, she walked towards the entry with slow heavy steps. It was like standing in a tightrope—she held her breath so hard and felt like one wrong step might make her collapse to the ground. She didn’t want to reach the end of that metaphorical tightrope because nothing good was awaiting her on the other side. Yet, she had no choice, so with the knuckles of her shaky hands she knocked on the door.

Ethan stared at the door for a few seconds, and eventually ordered his body to open the door. He faced the most devastating sight—his girlfriend, standing there looking smaller than ever, with dark bags under her saddened eyes and wearing an expression of defeat. At first, he thought something had happened to her but the reluctance of meeting his eyes was enough to make him realize that she knew. She knew what was going on.

“Hi.” he said in a low pained voice. “Come in.”

She greeted him with just a nod and a pathetic attempt of a smile, aware that opening her mouth would just trigger the tears she was trying so hard to hold back. Y/N just wanted him to rip the bandaid off so she could walk back to her car and cry her heart out.

“Let’s sit on the couch.” he said, his heart breaking by her crest fallen state.

“Just say it, Ethan.” in her mind, the way the words left her mouth were harsh and sharp like a knife, but truth was, her voice reached the highest level of vulnerability. The pain in her voice was clear.

He swallowed down the knot in his throat. This was even more painful than he had imagined. “Y/N… I’m sorry.”

She hated herself for feeling the urge to wrap him in her arms and brush away his tears. He was the one tearing up the relationship, not the other way around.

“I don’t understand.” she frowned sadly, trying to make sense of the decision.

“I know you don’t… I just, I can’t do this anymore, Y/N/N. I’m going away, the first months are going to be rough. I need to show them they didn’t make a mistake when they chose me. I can’t afford any distractions” as soon as those last words left his mouth, he knew he fucked up.

Y/N flinched, and took a step back as if he had slapped her. “Oh, wow. That’s just the cherry on top, Ethan.”

“Shit, no. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Maybe you didn’t mean to say it, but it’s what you think. That I’m a distraction. That’s why you’re breaking up with me.”

It wasn’t that. She would never be a distraction—not the bad kind, at least—, but he couldn’t tell her the real reason why he was breaking things off. She would try to fight it, and that’s not what he wanted.

“No.” he sighed. “I just need to focus on doing my best, and I won’t have time for a relationship. I can’t just keep dating you when I can’t give you what you deserve.” he took a step closer, and cupped her cheek. “I don’t want you to hate me. Please don’t hate me, I really think this is for the best.”

“I just… why didn’t you tell me this sooner? These past few weeks were hell, I was constantly scared of this moment to come. It was agonising.”

“I was so selfish, I know. But I couldn’t let go, I wanted to spend a few more days with you. I didn’t know I was already hurting you.”

“You always knew you were going professional.” she whispered. “Did you always know you would break up with me in the end?”

“I didn’t expect to like you so much.” he said truthfully. “You know I didn’t do relationships, so I thought the thing between us would end way before I had to leave.”

“And you couldn’t have told me our relationship had an expiration date? Why’d you have to lead me on?”

“I… I don’t know, Y/N. I thought it was obvious that we couldn’t do long distance.”

Y/N’s scoff resonated in the room. “No, Ethan. It wasn’t fucking obvious. I thought we would try…”

“For what? These things never work. And with my schedule, I don’t see how this could not end in disaster. Why would we risk it?”

Y/N didn’t even contemplate it, and blurted out the words she had been meaning to say for a while “Because I love you…”

Ethan’s mind went blank, and he stood there in front of her completely speechless and frozen. He didn’t even noticed the way Y/N’s eyes got glossy, the way her hands shook or the anxious glances she threw his way.

Finally, Ethan fell on his butt on his couch and buried his face in his hands. It was painful, the way he wanted to say it back and the strength it took to restrain that urge. Ethan loved Y/N, and he knew perfectly well that she would follow him anywhere head first, but he just couldn’t let her do that. Her whole life was in New York, no matter if she was willing to let go of that for him, that wasn’t what Ethan wanted for her life. What if she ended up resenting him for allowing that?

Y/N didn’t know how long she stood there, waiting for him to say something, anything at all, but he wouldn’t even look at her. It was like twisting the knife he had already pierced her with, and she needed to get out of there. The silence was so loud she wanted to scream.

“Guess you didn’t like me that much.” she laughed a humourless laugh. Guess she was his, but he wasn’t hers. It sucks that she had to found out that way. “Good luck, Ethan. That team is lucky to have you, and I’m sure the coach will think so too. You’re going to do so well.”

And then she walked away, and a small part of her was hopeful he would suddenly react and say ‘Don’t go’. But he didn’t, and she had to hold back the tears until she was in the safety of her car, where Ethan wouldn’t be able to hear how much he had hurt her.

MONTHS FLEW BY, and Ethan was still being haunted by those three words and the way things had ended with Y/N. He was living his dream—he was part of an incredibly team, his teammates had been super welcoming, as well as the fans, and he managed to bond tightly with some of them, they were winning matches and the coach was delighted with his talent. He should be the happiest man on earth, but something was missing and he knew exactly what, or who.

Some of his teammates preferred to enjoy the female and male attention that being famous brought to play the field, and others were fully committed to their partners. And then, there was Ethan, who didn’t want to play the field and he had let go of his partner and only person his heart had belonged to. Missing her was painful, especially knowing it was all on him.

Y/N watched every single game of Ethan’s, not matter how overwhelming it was. She loved seeing him achieving his goals and dreams and felt beaten every time the team lost and she had to witness Ethan’s crestfallen face. She still loved him very much, and missing him was the hardest thing in the world.

But the fact that she missed his face didn’t mean she was ready to see him again, which was why the news hit her like a truck.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out.” her teacher asked worriedly.

Tara looked at her with pity, knowing exactly the reason behind her weird reaction to something that was supposed to be an incredible opportunity. “She’s just shocked.”

“Oh.” the teacher smiled. “I assume you’re a fan of the Chicago Blackhawks, then.”

“Something like that.” the girl managed to say.

Apparently, one of the professors had contacts in the team and they managed to convince the coach to let two of Blackmore’s top marketing students work on a special project that involved the team’s publicity. And Y/N had been selected, which meant that he would be seeing her ex-boyfriend for the first time in six months in less than twenty four hours.

THERE WAS A MIX OF NERVOUSNESS AND ANXIOUSNESS IN THE LOCKER ROOM. Knees bounced and no words were uttered because of the uncertainty of the situation.

“Morning.” the coach spoke, exiting his office to stand in front of the team. Rolling his eyes, he let out a laugh then he said, “Unclench your asses, boys, there’s nothing wrong.”

“Why’d you ask us to come minutes early, then?” the captain asked.

“I just wanted to tell you that the following practices and games are going to be a bit different.” the team exchanged confused glances. “We’re having two marketing students present. They’re going to work on the team’s image as their final project for college.”

“Oh, cool. What’s the college?” Chad, goalie and Ethan’s closest friend, questioned.

“Blackmore University. It’s in New York. I have a friend working there and he asked me if I would be up to working with the students.”

Ethan’s hockey stick fell from his sweaty hand, landing on the ground with a resonating thud. Every pair of eyes landed on him, but his shocked face was focused on the wall.

“You okay, bud?” Chad asked, shaking his shoulder.

“W-what?” he blinked a couple of times, then shook his head. “Yes, sorry. I’m just- nothing.”

“You know the school? You’re from New York, right?” the captain asked.

“Yeah… I actually go there. I’m finishing the year online.” he answered.

“Oh, shit.” Chad said, eyes widening as the realization kicked in. “She goes there, right? Tell me she’s not in marketing.” but Ethan’s anxious eyes answered for him. “Well, fuck.”

“What’s going on?” Wes, another teammate, asked.

“My ex… she’s a marketing student. We broke up the night before I moved here.” Ethan said running his fingers through his hair.

“Let me guess, it did not end well.” Danny grimaced.

“It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.” Ethan began to explain everything about that night.

“Why didn’t you say it back?!” the coach asked as if it had been the juiciest gossip he had heard in years. “You didn’t love her?”

“Of course I loved her. Fuck, I still do. So fucking much. And I miss her like crazy, I’m just not ready to see her yet. She probably hates me and I still think of her everyday.”

Everyone looked at him with soft eyes. Ethan was like a golden retriever, and everyone had a soft spot for him despite having meeting him a few short months ago.

“But no matter how badly I want her back, I can’t. She lives in New York, and I live here.” he sighed. “I’m probably overreacting, though, maybe she’s not one of those two students.”

“Well, you’re about to find out because they are already here.” coach said, looking at the text he had received. “Let’s go.”

It wasn’t hard for the team to realize that Ethan’s ex was there. The two teenagers couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, and the tension was obvious to everyone in that rink.

“So, what are we doing, bosses?” Chad asked Tara and Y/N once the introductions were made.

“Well, Y/N had this idea and I think is amazing.” Tara said, tilting her head at Y/N urging her to go on.

“You’re probably going to hate me.” Y/N started, which was followed by some Oh, god’s and groans. “So I thought we should focus on Tik Tok. Not only is the most popular app right now, but hockey players are super trending there.”

“Why?” the captain frowned in confusion.

Tara and her exchanged smirks. “Hockey rom-coms.” they said in unison.

“Of course.” the words left Ethan’s mouth unconsciously and followed by a deep laugh, remembering when he would catch Y/N giggling and swooning over fictional hockey players.

The beautiful sound went straight to Y/N’s chest. Even though part of her still resented the way he had left her, she couldn’t help but smile. At that moment, the feeling of having missed him was stronger than the hurt and sadness of their break-up.

Two minutes within his presence and she was already a mess. She didn’t know how she was going to survive getting used to being so close to him again, only to board a plan in a few days and go back to just daydream about him. She was already dreading to go back to New York, a place that didn’t feel like home anymore.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, Ethan lived his victory with pure ecstasy and happiness. Winning always felt good, but he never got to enjoy it fully because he had no family to celebrate it with. But now, even though it was not for him, Y/N was there in the stands. She was clapping and cheering with Tara, and when her eyes connected with his, he swore he was levitating.

“Hey…” Y/N said when he and Chad skated towards them. “Congratulations, guys. You were amazing as always.”

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” Chad smiled. “We needed that victory after the last match.”

“Don’t beat yourself up for that. That referee sucked. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the team bribed him.” Y/N shrugged.

Ethan looked at her in surprise. “You watch our games?”

Y/N blushed and cursed herself internally. “Uh, yeah. Anyways,” she cleared her throat. “Are you going to celebrate?”

“We usually go to a bar after a victory. You’re very invited, of course. Drinks on us, you’ve been doing an amazing job in our social media.” Chad said.

“Told you. Miss Y/N is a marketing genius.” Tara pinched her cheek, making the girl squeal.

“She is.” Ethan said with a proud smile. And fuck if it didn’t make Y/N want to kiss him.

“We’ll drive you. You can go with me and Y/N can go with Eth.” Chad and Tara shared knowing glances.

“Perfect.” Ethan spoke up before Y/N could object. He gave her the keys to his car. “I’m going to take a quick shower, you can wait there.”

After a couple of minutes, Ethan climbed into the driver’s seat “Did you enjoy the game?”

“Yes. It was insane!” she said with an enthusiastic grin. “I’m really happy for you, Eth. You’re living your dream.”

Ethan forced a smile. “Yeah.”

Y/N frowned. “Well, don’t sound so thrilled. What’s wrong? You looked very happy out there.”

“I was. I mean, I am happy. For the first time since I played here, I can truthfully say I’m the happiest.”

“Why? You have won before.”

“Because it’s the first time I get to share my victory with someone I love.” he looked at her with bright eyes. “Every game, I would look at the crowd, hoping to see you there, cheering for me with my number on your back. But you never were, until today. And I have never felt so on top of the world.”

Y/N stared at him dumbfounded. “Eth… fuck. That’s… I- I watched every game. I’m so fucking proud of you. And I would’ve been here, you know that. But you left me.”

“I know.”

“I would’ve stayed forever if you’d said don’t go. I would’ve followed you everywhere. I told you I loved you, and you said nothing back.”

“I loved you, too. And if you hadn’t noticed yet, I still do. My dream had always been playing professional hockey, but ever since you walked into my life, you became part of that dream. I wouldn’t be happy without hockey, but being without you? It feels fucking void. And I’m sorry that I hurt you, I should’ve never let you go.”

“Why did you?”

“You have your family in New York, you have friends, you were about to finish the degree you’d worked so hard for… I couldn’t be selfish to ask you to come with me.”

“It would’ve been selfish to force me to come. But ask? That’s what you should’ve done. We could’ve talked about it. But you didn’t even fight for us, you made your choice and didn’t let me do the same.”

“I was scared you would’ve chosen to come with me, and then regret it and hate me for it.” he confessed, eyes glossing with tears.

“Babe, I could never hate you.” she said softly, brushing his dump hair away from his forehead. “You know what my decision would have been?” Ethan shook his head as he grabbed her hand. “I would’ve told you I could finish online. I would’ve told you that my family isn’t going anywhere, and that I could still visit them. I would’ve told you my friends and I would still be able to text everyday. And above all, that you’re the love of my life. That I want to be cheering for you on the stands with your number on my back. And then, depending on how the match goes, we’d go celebrate together or cuddle as I reassure you that everyone has bad games and you’re one of the best players I’ve ever seen.”

Ethan didn’t know it was possible to fall harder, but there he was. “Do you still want that?” he asked hopeful.

“More than anything in the world.” she pressed her forehead against his and they both smiled. “I missed you horribly. I don’t want to be apart from you ever again.”

“God, me neither. I’m keeping you forever.” he gave her a soft kiss. “You’re moving in with me.” another kiss. “I’m going to marry you.” another kiss. “We’re going to have kids.” another kiss. “And we’re going to grow old together.”

“I love you so much. That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard and I can’t wait to live that life with you.”

[cenorii]

Indifference and Excella

Today I'd like to talk about an issue like indifference and its consequences. But we won't talk about whether it's bad or not, I just want to discuss how Excella's indifference changed the history of all the following games.

Excella had known Wesker since about 2003, but had been directly close to him since about 2006, when she gained control of Tricell Inc. From 2006 to 2009, she was close to him, through which she began to experience romantic feelings that blinded her critical thinking. But even without the crush, she was indifferent to what kind of person he was, and that probably always annoyed him in people (Wesker's second report states how he hates people who elevate others only for their background and not for their personal accomplishments. Excella exalted Wesker perhaps not even for his research but for his looks, that is, she did not read between the lines at all and did not pay attention to who was actually standing in front of her).

Being indifferent to his personality, she did not notice at all, so unstable man was next to her. The object of her lust had a huge bouquet of psychological problems and inferiority complexes, which he hid behind a mask of calmness.

However, even this mask gave a crack in re5, you can tell by the animation of the sudden outburst of anger.

gif by

But while in re5 he's angry because his plan is slowly falling apart, in the Lost in Nightmares DLC, it's much deeper than that...

He just learned the truth about his life, and his anger is probably directed at that fact. He's angry at the truth and the fact that his past continues to haunt him (Chris and Jill). His past in the form of Umbrella, who he ran away from, has also caught up with him again, turning out to be the truth he had to face. Because of his pretense and “calm” image, he never learned to deal with his emotions, and I'm surprised that Excella never noticed it, since he must have been angry when the cockroaches mutated on his ship.

Based on all of this, Excella hasn't been paying attention to the fact that the person next to her isn't what she thinks he is. Chris is blind to Wesker's psychological problems too and he is clearly not the person who would suggest he go to a psychiatrist, but he, unlike Excella, has good reasons for this. For example, he's blinded by his resentment toward Wesker (for the mansion, for kidnapping Jill, and so on), he's also blinded by hatred. But Excella treated Wesker well, was directly next to him, and still missed the fact that everything in his character screams that he needs help.

Yes, if someone had offered him psychological help, he obviously wouldn't have liked it, but he would have realized anyway that someone had shown him attentiveness. He would have felt that someone cares about something much deeper in him than his external image, and maybe that would have made a difference.

Just imagine that ONE caring person could have changed the course of further history by showing of the right attention. Especially if this person had appeared long before re5, for example in 2006, when Wesker was the most psychologically unstable because he learned the truth from Spencer. Feeling that someone didn't just sympathize with him, but wanted to help him deal with an deep problem, perhaps he would have made other decisions in the future.

After all, in fact, Wesker is not so much interested in Uroboros and power, as in getting people from it who would be equal to him and consider him. His main problem is a sense of detachment, as if he is superfluous, different from everyone else as a white crow, and so he needs a society made up of white crows like him. He strives to stop feeling "different". And for the sake of this, he has made the mistaken decision to “make others like him”, because he considers "ordinary" people unworthy.

However, he turns a blind eye to the fact that all these people he considers unworthy have a chance to merge with Uroboros and become like him. So it's the same "unworthy" people, just in a different cover, you know? This is another fact that proves that he doesn't care what kind of people will become the Uroboros users, he wants that they just exist. It's important to him that there are people like him.

And if just ONE person in his past had shown genuine empathy for his personality, advising him to see a specialist, maybe the whole RE story would have gone differently. There would be no Jill kidnapping, no Uroboros, no biological weapons and the organizations responsible for them, because Wesker, based on his words, is disgusted by war and pestilence. There would be no reason for him to do all this and pursue his dream through the dirty ways. His dream are of a world without decadence, a utopia where there is no destruction. And biological weapons are precisely the tools of war, pestilence and destruction. If he had other goals, Wesker would have gone up against BOW, and knowing how well he was able to counter his competitors, the bioterrorists wouldn't stand a chance.

Let's not forget that Wesker developed many weapons against bioweapons, the blueprints for which were later found by Blue Umbrella ("Albert System Weapon"). So even being a bioterrorist involuntarily, he developed means against BOW, indirectly speaking out against his own work

Draw your own conclusions, I was just sharing my thoughts on indifference and how Excella's blind love contributed to the situation <3

[liliaeth]

I was just thinking about something that keeps returning in fandom...

People acting as if Scott somehow thinks in black and white, while Stiles to them thinks in shades of grey, which they translate to 'is willing to kill'. And it's just such absolute nonsense.

A big part of the issue here that I've noticed, is something fandom often loves to ignore. Namely that from s1 on, Scott was most often the one being attacked, the one forced to deal with life or death choices. While Stiles, still got to keep seeing death as something abstract, something that happened, but wasn't a decision that he personally had to make. Stiles wasn't forced to resist the urge to kill, he didn't have some force in his head try to make him kill people, and in the early seasons, he was a foil for Scott. Someone who didn't have to face the choice between life and death. For Stiles that responsibility did not come until s3b.

Scott didn't have that privilege. Even as early on as s1, when Peter tried to control him, he was forced to feel what it would be like to maul and possibly kill someone he cared about. It might have been just a dream, but all too soon he had to find out it was a dream based on reality. the reality where Peter tried to make him kill someone. And it took all of Scott's will power to resist doing so.

And then not long after, Peter forced Scott's darkest instincts to come up, making him actually want to kill his friends. A experience that clearly horrified Scott. Because he'd already had that feeling in the first two episodes of the show, where his instincts made him go after Stiles, his best friend.

So when Peter sent Derek after Jackson, for Scott, that wasn't some abstract notion, it was reality.

It wasn't just people trying to kill him, and the fear of that, but the fear that he himself might kill others. Which is why in s5 to him, the worst thing to happen to Liam would be for him to have to live with having killed Scott. Not for Scott's sake, but for Liam's...

For Scott, killing isn't some black and white bullshit, it's real, it's a way of ending any and all other possibilities for a person.

When Scott refuses to kill, it's not because he believes in black and white, or good and evil, it's because he doesn't.

Because he knows that just because someone is an asshole, or does bad things, that doesn't mean they're evil, that doesn't mean they deserve to die. Because he believes in shades of grey. because Killing and Death are not just funny abstract threats, or exaggerations, it's something real, and it's not a decision that should be taken lightly.

Stiles can argue for killing, since he's never expected to be the one to do the deed. He can ask Scott to "consider letting [Derek] die," or to "kill Jackson, problem solved," because he's not the one who has to bear the responsibility.

Now admittedly, it's not that Stiles had no idea of how dark things really were, not after the end of s1. he'd seen dead people, Lydia’s mauled body made it more than real. His willingness to consider killing was more from powerlessness…he didn’t see many options to stop the killers without killing them. After all, in S1 his first instinct was to have Derek arrested and it didn’t work, so he suggests murder and killing, but still never has to actually make the choice to commit the killing himself

Not until s3b, and even then Stiles choice was 'lock himself up' or let the Nogitsune kill. The same choice Scott already had to make in s1.

Fandom likes to pretend Stiles could easily kill the bad guys, when the reality of the show is that when Stiles did accidentally kill, in s5, it devastated him. Because just like Scott, he came to realize that killing is final, killing is destructive, and doing so should never be a first solution.

Both Scott and Stiles had to make these choices, both of them came to the same conclusion, and that's something fandom loves trying to ignore.

[accio-victuuri]

so about the Rocco Liu “issue”, I feel like I have already made a case with my candy post on the same day. I have 3 points to address and people are free to hate him or whatever because that’s on you. however, it’s ridiculous to project those thoughts and make up stories that WYB feels the same way as you do. Or that he should do certain things, because if you have all forgotten, he is a grown ass man that can make his own decisions. he can decide who he interacts with. i understand that most of the negative reactions come from a place of love and care for yibo but we should still try and be rational.

disclaimer, this is all my personal opinion based on my own values and experience. i don’t represent any fandom with this post. for those of you who wanna know what i think about his 227 kadian then scroll to the last part.

I see a lot of people making a big deal about how RL allegedly has a crush on WYB and therefore that makes him a creep.

My dudes, let me tell you a secret…..

99.9% of people who meet WYB will end up having a crush on him. Will be a little bit in love with him, after spending 2 minutes with him or even having the slightest bit of interaction like an eye contact. That’s just the kind of person he is. He is the main character.

The narrative of certain fans who get threatened of people like RL or CZX because they are in a position of power and seem to have ulterior motives with WYB is ridiculous. WYB is not some starlet who needs to get his foot in the door. RL & GQ need someone like him in that event. He has the upper hand or they are at equal footing. If people really know WYB like they say they do, it would be very clear that he sets boundaries. It’s not like WYB is defenseless.

If RL has a crush on him. Can you blame him? What’s so wrong? That makes him part of the majority. So where is the creepy part coming from?

Some are giving example of incidents that RL was inappropriate with WYB.

First of all, it is very clear that he was not being forced to ride the boat with Rocco. We all know Yibo’s standing. There is no one there who can match up to him. He is also not actively promoting a drama to join a certain set of people. So the next best thing is to be with the “host” of the event. I was actually thinking he might be alone but realized the theme was you will have someone to ride it together with you. It makes perfect sense to me. It’s the most logical choice. Yibo is the guest of honor.

Second, I don’t know where people are getting the idea that he was uncomfortable with that 3 minute ride out of very short clips. Did we even watch the same thing? As soon as he rode the boat, he was chill. He even said hi to Li Xian who called to him first. He had his coffee and was relaxed. All entertainment blogs praised him for his state. Unlike other celebrities who were so awkward or did unnecessary things. The hot search was RL & WYB rode the boat together. That’s all. No one commented on main that the two were awkward with each other. If you monitored the hot search, you would know that. The discussion and critique was more on people mocking how boring it was and that it’s just a simple boat. How it looked “cheap” and asking why is there no host to interact with the celebrities. There was nothing majorly bad about WYB. He was on hot search in a positive light even on the next day.

EXAMPLE ONE: RL was trying so hard to be close and sit next to WYB but he said no. Because his gege will be mad uwu

But if you look at it, he was asked if he wants to switch seats. Look at RL’s hand, pointing to his side of the boat. WYB declined. He was okay with his position. Does that smile look faked to you? It’s a genuine smile that’s all good with the person they are interacting with.

EXAMPLE TWO : I can’t find the video but it was RL touching WYB’s waist like guiding him and WYB moved away. I can understand why people will find that too touchy feely. I see it was WYB was surprised so he did that. RL is not someone he spends so much time but to say it’s because WYB was so uncomfortable is a stretch. He was talking to him and was v chill even in the old town red carpet.

These examples are mostly from cpfs who are irrationally threatened. Going as far as saying that the original iconic boat ride featuring WYB is the 9 min boat video with XZ. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Here we go again with the unnecessary double standard just to make a point. Trying to make it seem that the experience was horrible to WYB. The notion that WYB can and should only have good memories connected to XZ and vice versa is so unreasonable. There are times that the difference is clear but going as far as to twist things is too much. What if certain accounts picked up on it? I don’t even wanna imagine a hot search that says something like RL harassed WYB all because of what others are posting.

&&& I’m just gonna copy and paste this here:

During the boat ride, he was clapping for Rocco, like applauding him for the event i guess. In the meantime, on Weibo, the top hot search were people criticizing the “boat” thing on GQ ( literally something like GQ boat embarrassment was the tag ) As soon as the live started it went on 1 or 2. I don’t know if Bobo saw that but I just like how he showed his appreciation to Rocco, and by extension, his team. That’s just my interpretation and it could be a completely different thing but knowing WYB, he is very generous with acknowledging people. Maybe we can take a page from his book in this aspect.

He even shook RL’s hand and smiled. If you think this is somehow WYB being fake. I don’t even know what to say to you.

I also wanna point out how some are saying these things because of their prejudice against queer people who look like rocco liu. If they look a certain way then it’s most likely they are queer perverts who will take advantage of young men like WYB. While I do agree that incidents like that happen, it’s horrible how people are jumping to conclusion because of a few second clip and his “look”. I’m sorry but queer people come in all shapes and sizes. They do not look like the boys in your manhua/manhwa. It’s like you pick and choose who is the kind of queer that’s ok and palatable. Which is still homophobia by the way. It’s okay if it’s two guys who are handsome like ZZ and WYB, but if someone else comes close who doesn’t look as fine as them then it’s disgusting.

I remember that one incident, a photo of ZZ with a handsome doctor. CPFs were loving it! Already making up head canons that WYB is jealous or ZZ probably tried to make WYB jealous by using that person. How it would be cool to write a fic about that. 💀💀💀 Which makes me think that if WYB rode that boat with Yangyang for example, someone who he finds handsome and have the bare minimum interaction— CPFs will be elated! It would be twisted into something like a “omg zz is jealous blah blah blah”. This is my problem with some CPFs and how limited their understanding is of the real world. How treating the boys as fictional people is so easy and encouraged. I cringe at those who even implied that XZS suddenly posted a vlog cause he wants to assert his ownership of WYB because of what RL did. If you think that statement doesn’t make sense, then we are on the same boat. 🛶

Which leads us to big argument…

The whole narrative of how can WYB work closely with GQ even if they dissed XZ back in 227 era.

The whole article was not made by Rocco. It was a different person. Even the “accounts” they say are RL cannot be verified. Second, this whole we will never forget mentality is so fuckin toxic tbh. Why can’t their be healing from all the hurt back in 227? Do people really think XZ is out there with a fuckin notebook with all the people who took a jab at him that time? One way or another he will work with these people. That’s how the industry is. I don’t remember XZS saying his fans should seek vengeance. What i recall, repeatedly being said is to not join in on unnecessary conversations that will cause negativity amongst people.

Tho I believe that XZ is more wary of certain people, especially with those who stabbed him in the back.

Now some fans are so angry cause RL’s response with the height HS ( which i talked about here ) is to Kadian 227. The answer is simple. It’s 🍤🍤🍤 who were commenting and doing the most to spread this rumor. So this shade was for them and a reminder what may happen if they are not careful and stay on their lane. We are not new to this. XFX are known to do shady things that do not reflect Xiao Zhan. Tho it’s sad how he gets affected by it when he didn’t even do anything.

This is not special treatment to XFX or that he has some deep seated hatred for XZ. It’s XFX who has the vendetta and capitalized on what some blog and antis were implying. Just the other day, top hot search was Rocco Liu is not embarrassed. This bitch reposted the top post on the GQ boat embarrassment hot search by some blog and said he wasn’t embarrassed. Yep. He is that petty. 😂😂😂😂 He will not take things lying down. If you look at context, it’s pretty obvious.

I also saw Gabrielle, who is GG’s friend and someone who defended him during 227 shared a photo he took of his friends WYB & Rocco. So should we cancel Gabrielle too cause he is friends with Rocco? Where do we draw the line?

In conclusion, it wouldn’t kill you to take a step back and look at things without a cpf lens on. Look at the context. Trust XZ and WYB. It was honestly distasteful how some were focusing more on the drama than how amazing WYB looked that night.

That’s all. Now back to the normal posts. ✌🏼

[dragonrider9905]

Racing Heart

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Summery: You are an Imperial officer, formerly an intelligence officer of the Republic. You were friends with the Batch before they defected. You miss them, especially Tech. All hope seemed lost of finding them until a lead came up…from Safa Toma. Warnings: Angst to comfort; feelings of conflict; feelings of betrayal

You sat down in the mess hall to eat your evening meal. It's been months since you’ve interacted with the Batch seeing as how they defected from the Empire…and you didn’t. Well, most of them anyway. You still saw Crosshair here and there when he wasn’t off on some mission. You spent time with him and ate with him when he was on base but otherwise, you ate your meals alone. It didn’t start out that way. You ate with your friends, like in the days of the Republic. You enjoyed each other’s company and found a reason to laugh and smile even if there was a war on. But the longer you worked with the Empire, the fewer your friends got. They either moved away, were killed…or went AWOL. The new people who came in…you didn’t share quite the same ideologies. They never served in the Clone War so they didn’t share your appreciation of the clones…also, your passionate service of helping people wasn’t shared. Most of these new officers were more about making their lives powerful than helping people, like you were. 

At first, you didn’t understand why the Batch ran away. You always wished you could have asked them their reasons. Why couldn’t they just fight for the Empire? It was making the galaxy better. The Republic just evolved. That’s all. Same job, different uniform.

That’s what you thought at first.

The longer you stayed, the more you realized just how wrong you were. 

The Empire was hurting people. Not helping. You sighed and picked at your food.

If only you could have asked them. Asked him. Maybe you wouldn’t still be there, fighting for a cause you didn’t believe in or sign up for. Maybe you could be with them. With him . 

The resident genius must have seen coming what you didn’t. You always did like listening to Tech talk. You saw now they were smart to get out while they still could. You wished you would have gone with them or met up with them or something. You were sure if Tech would have explained it to you, you would have understood and even agreed all that time ago. Tech always had evidence for what he thought. Never whims with him. His decisions were always well thought out and backed up. You trusted him completely. 

Oh why couldn’t you have trusted him that one last time without evidence?

You sighed again and grumbled at the same time. The picking at your food got a little more aggressive the more you thought. You felt yourself grow warm with agitation toward yourself but you couldn’t help the spiral of thoughts. They just kept coming. 

You worked with the Bad Batch on many missions and became really good friends with all of them. What you shared with Tech, well, that was a little more complicated. Being an intelligence officer, you spoke more to him. First for work…then because you enjoyed it. You really wanted to believe he did too, seeing as he sought you out for your opinion on things, even if they were trivial, but you didn’t know for sure so you just took the friendship for what it was, not wanting to touch or ruin it. The longer you knew him, the more you denied how you increasingly began to feel, convinced he didn’t feel the same; but when news of the Batch’s death on Kamino reached you…You finally came clean with yourself and admitted what you wouldn’t before. You loved him. 

Realizing you loved him, and that he was now gone with his wonderful brothers, your friends…was crippling. You cried yourself to sleep for a long time wishing that you had told him how you felt, that maybe the information was wrong, that maybe they could somehow be alive still. You saw the video of the destruction though. No one could have survived that. He died, never knowing your secret and now you were burdened with regret and the might have beens. 

When Crosshair was saved, you visited him in the hospital every day, just grateful to have one of them back. One particularly tough day where everything went wrong, you couldn’t help but to miss Tech even more. He always knew what to do when you were in a jam or how to make you feel better—not because he was great with emotions but because he knew the real you. Your emotions bubbled to the surface. Not being able to share your grief with anyone for so long made your chest feel like lead. 

“So what’s wrong?” Crosshair had asked. You had been sitting there with a grumpy look on your face and not saying hardly anything. You usually did most of the talking when visiting him. Being mostly silent, Crosshair knew something was up (as if the sour look on your face wasn’t an indication already.)

 You looked around cautiously, not wanting anyone to hear you say you wished you were with a group of men once wanted by the Empire. It was treasonous to be sure.

You were sad, angry, depressed and annoyed. At yourself, the galaxy, the Batch, the Empire…You wanted to tell everything to Crosshair but you didn’t know how much you could trust him. Thinking you couldn’t just spill everything like the old days hurt you, but every day in the Empire taught you to be more and more cautious. How much did Crosshair believe in the Empire, you wondered? Cross was still Cross but he was … different. Sadder? Angrier? You couldn’t put your finger on it exactly. If you got more time with him, you were sure you could figure it out. But you didn’t, so trust was fragile, and oh how you hated that. Maybe he was more along your line of thinking than you thought…but you couldn’t know for sure unless you had more data. After all, he could have escaped the Empire and left with his brothers if he had wanted. But he had chosen the Empire after all…

You hesitated. Instead, you turned pink and only told Crosshair about your feelings for Tech (and nothing else) he merely rolled his eyes.

“‘Bout time one of you finally admitted it to yourselves. It was so obvious.”

You chuckled sadly. “Doesn’t matter much now, does it.” You look away all pink faced and blue mood. “They’re all dead.”

Crosshair’s playfulness disappeared and was replaced with a deep soberness. It was Crosshair’s turn to look both ways, and consider something before sharing it with you. 

“He’s not dead.”

That one sentence changed everything.

“W-what do you mean…he’s not dead?!?”

Crosshair couldn’t quite look at you, and you didn’t know why. Perhaps he felt guilty for not realizing how the news of their deaths was affecting you and that they were related to the dark circles under your eyes. But you suspected there was more to it as well. You didn’t press him. 

“It means he’s not dead. They made it off Kamino alive.”

Your mind reeled. Were you given a second chance?

“Just thought you should know.”

After you learned the true events of Kamino from Crosshair, you spent every spare moment looking for them. You used your advanced and massive skills to try to track them down. You had more knowledge about them than anyone else next to Crosshair and Cody. You tried to use that to your advantage.

At first you were full of energy and enthusiasm with your new found chance but now, sitting in the cafeteria surrounded in a sea of faceless, personalityless gray, you felt your energy waning. That day in the infirmary with Crosshair felt like ages ago and you were starting to give up. You didn’t want to give up, but right now, your heart couldn’t handle any more disappointment. Day after day of no results…who could blame you. You had to give them that though, at least they were well hidden and hopefully safe.

You stopped meddling with your unappetizing food and looked down at the gray uniform you wore on a daily basis. It was neat, tidy, impeccable, just how you liked things. In fact, some say it could have defined you. Back in the day, everyone always joked that you were so much like Crosshair because next to him, you would have been the neatest one in the squad (if you belonged with them). But it was so devoid of life. Somehow when the Batch wore gray, it was exciting. When you wore it, it felt meaningless. Your heart thudded a little harder, causing your chest to ache. If Wrecker was here, surely he’d slap you on the back like he always did. He’d cause you to throw your soup off balance and spill it on the spotless clothes. You’d scrunch up your face in false anger, complaining how long it’d take you to get the stain out and he’d laugh…

You got tired of your thinking and picked up your datapad, flipping through the channels for a distraction. You found yourself going through some unusual channels, ones the Empire didn’t approve of (you bypassed those codes so you could access any information you could—just one of many things Tech taught you) and ones you never really cared about. You also widened the range so you could gather information and watch things from all the Rims. You just hoped to come across something distracting enough to get your mind off this for a bit. Then you could start your search again with a fresh mind. You turned down the volume so you wouldn’t be detected or bothersome to the quickly filling cafeteria. No one came to your table in the corner yet. That suited you fine. You didn’t feel like being bothered.

One channel offered cooking. Not interesting enough for right now. Ring fights. You quickly turned that off. Riot racing…you almost switched the channel but your hand hovered for a minute, reluctantly curious. Might be interesting. When you served some time with General Skywalker, he mentioned pod-racing a few times and how fun it was. Maybe this was like that. 

You set the datapad down, leaning it against your water capsule and propping it up with the tray and soon you were sucked into the world of racing. It was enthralling. Spellbound, you were glued to your screen and your chair, losing all interest in the happenings around you. The track was dangerous and unpredictable. The contestants even more so as it seemed anything could go in this game. You knew Safa Toma was sketchy. A lot of the Outer-Rim planets were dangerous this way. Not to mention all the behind the scenes gambling to add to the pressure. Your mind started turning wheels, thinking about the contestants and why they were racing. 

You had to admit, you understood the attraction. You were having fun yourself watching the races, trying to predict the unpredictable, and rooting for a racer. Your eyes went wide and a smile started to form at the corners of your lips. This was just what you needed. You missed the first race but the recaps served you well. You were able to catch up in no time. TAY-O was a new racer but very keen. He won the first, but you watched him crash in the second. That was too bad. You sort of felt sorry for him even though he was a droid. Being double teamed was such a rude move! You decided you wanted to root for him in the next race. 

There was a brief intermission, so you started to search details about the place and the racers and their sponsors for fun. Seeing as how this was live, it was pretty exciting. You shifted in your seat and put your legs up on the chair in front of you to get more comfortable. Then you relaxed against the wall. There were a few races left and your shift ended for the day. You could sit here all evening if you wanted to…

The announcements started for the new race which called your attention back to the games. You switched the screen back to the track. Your stomach rumbled and you realized you hadn’t touched your food in the first race. Somehow, it looked so much more appealing now than before. You eagerly rearranged your tray so it was closer. A stupid grin started to form on your face. This race was going to be good, you could just feel it!

“All right! Place your bets! Our racers are ready. Safa Toma’s Riot Champion, Jet Venim! Bosco, “the Mad Bomber” Brix….” The announcer’s voice boomed into the microphone, excitedly listing off the names.

Spooning your soup, you let your mind wander, having already read about all them during the break. You wondered if TAY-O would win again. His strategy seemed…flawed, you couldn’t help but notice. After all, he was nearly destroyed in the last race. No doubt this Cid person had him put back together. The animosity between TAY-O and Venim would be big this game. Something had to be between the gamblers themselves for those two racers. They singled out each other too much. 

You reached for your cup of juice and brought it to your lips. You wanted to be fully attentive when the racing started. Then the announcer hit you with:

“And finally, Teeeeeeeeech!”

You nearly jumped out of your seat, spitting out your juice, dangerously close to tipping your soup and coughing as bad as General Grievous. Tears sprung to your eyes and adrenaline started to course through your veins. 

Excuse me? What? It couldn’t be?! You wanted to squeal.

You grabbed your datapad and brought it close to your face so you wouldn’t miss a thing. 

The crowd went silent, you noticed, and so did your heart. It seemed to have stopped. 

“Tech? Anything else on this guy?” the announcer continued, “No? Guess he’s a late arrival. Is that his name? Tech? Just Tech?”

“Oh leave him alone!” You said out loud. Too loud. A few people looked over to you and you rolled your eyes, gluing them back to the screen. You didn’t even know if it was your Tech but the idea of anyone making fun of that name just bothered you. Tech is a brilliant name, you ignoramus. You growled and liked the announcer a little less. It had to be a coincidence. Tech could be short for a lot of things. Technically, technology, Techno… It couldn’t be…..

Then the screen panned to a man preparing his racer, looking up a little annoyed at the camera. There you saw the familiar goggled eyes, the helmet, and the unmistakable expression you knew so well…

There he was. The man you’d been searching for…

Tech.

Tech in a racer.

Tech in a racer on Safa Toma.

But why was he racing? Where were the others? What was going on? Why was he there, in a gambling pit and not even using an alias!?! Sure it was a backwater planet…could hide there…maybe he felt safe using his real name for that reason. You’d have to sort that out later.

“Okay, and here we go!”

You nearly stood from your seat as the racers went off but you forced yourself to stay down and you held your breath.

“Go get ‘em, Tech, you can do this.” you whispered to yourself. 

It wasn’t lost on you that TAY-O was no longer racing, and Tech was in the same racer. Your heart started to beat faster the more the gravity started to pull on you. Tech was racing for a racer who was out. Was TAY-O beyond repair? Surely the team had time to fix him before the race. You noticed there was animosity between that Venim person and TAY-O…were you right about the people they were racing for… were they enemies? What had Tech gotten himself into…

“And they’re off!”

It was barely seconds into the race when one of the racers started firing on the others. Everyone was fighting for the lead…except Tech, who stayed in the back. 

You’re last?!?! You’re losing! You can’t lose, Tech! You were afraid of the consequences if he didn’t win…yet, he did seem safer back there for now, letting the other racers fight it out and thin themselves a little. You knew Tech knew what he was doing so you decided to trust him. You had to. You always did before. And you had to admit, that was actually pretty strategic for a game like this.

Sure enough, the other racers were destroying each other—and you saw it all. Whenever you’d see Tech’s racer on the screen you’d get excited and nervous. You couldn’t tell if it was better to see him or not seeing him. Not seeing him, you knew he was safe, but seeing him…well, you got to see him and his genius flying but you couldn’t help but wonder if something bad was going to happen since they seemed to show every accident victim on the screen. 

You started groaning when he was getting shot at.

His shields are overheating. If you’re not going to use your weapons, divert the power!

The next moment, he dropped all his weapons at the pit. 

Your jaw dropped as well. Not what I meant, Tech. You need those!!!!

The camera stayed on the shocked faces of the race crew. You smiled when you recognized Wrecker, a small worrying feeling shot threw you not seeing the others …but there could be a million reasons why they weren’t there; they weren’t necessarily gone…like that. Maybe they went to get food? Hunter would probably die if he saw Tech doing this , you thought. You saw Wrecker shyly wave at the camera. Something warm bloomed in your chest and your throat started to tighten. You couldn’t help but to wave back, even though you knew he couldn’t see you. You smiled looking at him all flustered. Trust me, Wreck, I know the feeling. You chuckled.

Wrecker went from shy to concerned, plastered all over his face. A small, blond girl stood next to him, the same concern reflected on hers. It was interesting to see how deep her connection to Tech seemed to be. Her time on the screen was brief, but you couldn’t mistake the look on her face because you knew the feeling well. 

You wondered who the kid was and how long she’d known them. Maybe she could help you find them. She might be easier to locate than them if she was involved in the races there. You took a quick screen image to study later. 

“Looks like Tech has got a vaporization wish! And has removed all his weapons!”

“Oh shut up.” You mumbled. 

You bit your lip, that bubble of anxiety starting to nest in your stomach again, but you immediately recognized why Tech did what he did. 

His speed. He’s a lot faster now.

You watched as he zipped along the track. You could almost see the focus in his eyes. You knew it was there of course, from experience. You could picture what his face under his helmet was. 

Lips drawn in determination and clamped shut, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

Your heart was thumping as fast as his speeder. He was catching up…

Then the two that wrecked TAY-O last race started to box Tech in. 

Oh no. You knew what was coming…it was as if you were given a snippet of the future through the eyes of someone else. A sense of deja vu. You bit your lip harder. You vaguely tasted blood in your mouth and your lip swell. But it was all numb. Tears sprung up again and your breath hitched. An image of the accident flashing across your memory. 

Please don’t get caught! Please don’t get caught!

You watched the two racers fire on Tech, closing in. They were lining up…he was losing his shields!

You wanted to scream but you had no air in your lungs. 

You saw the razer leave the ship in front and your eyes went wide. 

Tech! Your heart made one last agonizing plea as the next seconds went way too fast and way too slow. 

You watched the ship behind Tech prepare the clamper. You wanted to look away but you couldn’t. If something happened to Tech, you had to know. Then, just as the ship reached out for Tech, Tech made his move. He swiftly turned out of the way and dropped back, letting the two plotters destroy themselves. At the last moment, he sped ahead and crossed the finish line.

“Aaaand the winner iiiiissssss! Teeeeeech!”

You watched as the crowd rallied and cheered Tech on, chanting his name over and over again. Tears filled your eyes again but they were good tears. Relief flooded your body and you didn’t realize how tight you were holding your datapad. Your fingers hurt from clutching it so hard, not to mention your jaw that had been clenched tight the whole race. You rubbed your cheeks to try to loosen the muscles stiff and sore.

Pride took root next. The smile from your mouth spread to your eyes. You were glad he was getting the attention he deserved. His skills deserved to be recognized. 

He did the lazy salute you were always so fond of and the crowd went wild.

You crazy idiot. You chuckled to yourself and fell back against the wall, winded and exhausted as if you were racing yourself.

You sat there dazed. What had you just seen? Was this real? You had to get more information on the racers…who they were racing for…their backgrounds. That would lead you to him. You’d find him. You were so close now, you could taste it! You’d have to get a replay of the race, just in case there were clues you missed. You were sure you could find it. You were still salty he used his own name and was on the holoshow, ruining his cover but as long as this didn’t exist in Empire data, he’d be safe. You’d make sure of that. Maybe you could…

Your train of thought was interrupted by a TK-trooper, who seated himself at your table.

“What’s got you all smiling pretty, hey there gorgeous?”

You smiled the brightest smile you could. “My man was just making me proud.” You waved your datapad, careful not to show the screen. 

He got the idea and got up. “Uh, I think I forgot something.”

There ya go. Then a thought hit you. What if he liked someone else? You could easily see someone with more confidence than yourself flirting with him. He was an amazing guy…and now that he was a racing hero as well…you sighed. One thing at a time.

But now you had hope, hope you could see him again and finally tell him how you felt, how you didn’t want to leave him again, how you would help him survive against the Empire and fight against it if it came to that. Being by his side again in the field would be enough for you even if your other hopes weren’t realized. 

You couldn’t stop smiling. You couldn’t believe it. You’d found him.

The world around you kept moving. Trays clanked against tables, people’s talk kept getting louder, troopers were moving too and fro, coming in after their shifts to finish the day with a tasteless meal and the nightshifters rushing in to get their fill before reporting to their posts. 

All of them living unaware of the adventure you just had in the same cafeteria. A few minutes which could change the course of your life. That made the last few months worthwhile. So you continued sitting there, unmoving in the churning rainbow of white, gray and black.

But now what? So much information was still missing…you could deal with that. After all, hope had been restored. Anything was possible now. Your head buzzed. You now had a lead and you wanted to follow it…

“Food’s going to get cold if you keep staring.” a familiar, snakelike voice said, not unfriendly. You’d know the jest in that voice anywhere.

“Hey Crosshair!”

“What’s got you smiling all pretty and in a daydream?”

 You opened your mouth to say more but stopped. 

You wanted to tell him. You wanted to tell him so bad. You wanted to see him proud of his brother. After all, he did have a right to know he was safe, right? But was it a good idea? Perhaps…Tech would be safer if you didn’t. If you kept this to yourself. If you just snuck away and found him…You didn’t know what to do. Crosshair did stay loyal to the Empire. He returned instead of leaving with his brothers. Yet he lied for their safety.

You heard a slight cough and looked up. Crosshair had one eyebrow raised curiously, almost teasingly.

“So?”

You realized you hadn’t answered. He was still waiting for a response. 

So you had to give him one.

Trust or not to trust. That was the question.

(Part 2)

Dividers by @djarrex and @ve-ti-ver

[scrubbinn]

Slime HRT: ??? Months “Your choice”

“There you are! I was getting worried, your directions were awful for finding this café.”

“We both know I suck at directions, hope you didn't get rained on too much. Sorry for making you visit me over and over. I remember you said you’re not a fan of Hyper city”

“You know I like the rain, and this place makes it easier to visit you anyway. Now lemme just get the seat closer to you…

So how are you hun. Is the recovery going alright? Have you gotten any memories back?”

“A couple, yeah. I remember the name of that other slime I met a while ago. Sandy I think.”

“You think?”

“Memories are hard, please don't push me.”

“Sorry. Well it's good that you're healing, and you're not taking that stuff again right? 

… right hun?!”

“I'm not, I'm not. Tomorrow is the last day I have to wait before I can legally take it again. Right now I'm just wondering if I should wait longer or not.”

“Don't do anything that isn't safe hun. I know this means a lot to you, I can't say I know what you're going through, cause I'm not a therian or otherkin or whatever like you. But please be safe, I don't like worrying about you… What's that on your phone? You're clearly hiding it.”

“It's nothing, I'm just running a poll, I want to see what the internet would do in my circumstance.”

“Hun!…”

“I'm not going to make my decision based on what random people have to say. I'm probably not even going to post it. I mean it's a pretty cool, textbook grey choice. Survive less happy than I could have been, or risk everything to finally feel normal and free… Please don't look at me like that.”

“You sound a lot happier about one of those choices hun, and it makes me scared.”

“...Y'know I've actually been thinking about moving into Hyper city. Roommates are ok with it as long as I give them a few months to search for a new place. We could also visit each other whenever. There's still a lot of problems here, but it still feels like there's less discrimination here than back home. I even have a good idea for what I want to do here! I'm studying to become a psychiatrist and work for Dr. Erian. He could really use someone who has a positive amount of bedside manners. There's a couple other doctors there but-

“I thought the plan was for us to live together?”

“...We will, when things get better back home. At least here it's easier for us to see each other, and I don't have to pretend I can't hear people whispering I'm a freak. At least, not as much. Nothing's changed long term.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure, you don’t have to worry, everything is going to be fine. I’m not going to do anything stupid, but I don’t think it would be a bad thing if I started my HRT again after tomorrow. I know I can regain my memories slowly, so there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“There is a problem! You think it’s fine if you forget everything? Look, it's great that some of your memories are back, but that doesn’t mean all of them are gonna come back. You’re being reckless again. Your life isn’t something you can keep tossing around without expecting us to hold you down. Hun, you need to stop hurting yourself.”

“...I’m not hurting myself. I’m just trying to live my life. I don’t want to upset you, but you have to realize this is the most important thing for me right now. If I mess this up, then nothing is going to go well. I understand that you’re scared, but please think about how I feel. I’d be having heart palpitations if that were still possible. This choice needs a clear head to figure out. I don’t think either of us have that.”

“Maybe. You’re going to be fine right? You won’t die from this or anything right?”

“No, I’m not going to die. The doc made sure it’s going to be safe at this point. We just have to hope he’s wrong about the side effects, and before you go saying he’s a trained endocrinologist, you haven’t met him, and I don’t even think he knows all that much. Trust me, you’d realize what I mean if you met him.”

“But he knows more than you do hun.”

“Ok, yeah, but it’s clear this is still all new to him too. He’s never been right about when any of the changes will happen or what the side effects would be. He made me sign an NDA about slipping into a three day coma. He’s clearly more afraid his medical license will be revoked than any actual permanent damage he’ll inflict."

“Aren’t you breaking that NDA right now?”

“I don’t have to listen to that. Besides, as long as the internet doesn’t hear about it, then it’s fine. It's not like you're gonna shout this conversation to the rooftops… don't actually tell anyone else, I'd rather not get in trouble again.”

“So, where are you staying anyway? You said the houses here are pretty expensive right? Do you have enough savings to find a place?”

“There's a non-profit place called T.H.E.M.S, they can find me a place to stay while I try to find a more permanent residence here. They have an on-site doctor too, so you don't have to worry even harder now.”

“Hey, you can't fault me for worrying about my girlfriend! That's good there's going to be a doctor nearby. I'm glad. Stay safe hun.”

“I will, don't worry. Now come on, less talking about depressing medical stuff, more pictures of tiny foods! Right now I want to show you the cute cupcakes this place has!

“Oh they’re shaped like little dragons!”

“It's so cute, right?”

...

Click… Post sent!

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Mention list: @a-shramp , @calliecwrites

Thanks for reading slime HRT so far. It's been so much fun for Navi to write and we hope you enjoy it. This marks about a third of what we plan to do. If you're confused about the terms Hyper city or T.H.E.M.S you can check out information about them. Pretty important since this is gonna be the location for the rest of the series. Anyway, thank you for reading. It means the world to us. bye-bye!

-Sweetheart💖

[owlphibiaisthebest15]

Hi guys! I want to talk about a minor problem I have with Amphibia and how they could've been done better. I will not be talking about any of the big problems that people have already complained about, like Sasha and Marcy's lack of screentime, their character arcs, parents, nobody talking about Marcy after "True Colors", yada yada yada, because we don't need another post like that, and I want to keep this overdue rant as short as possible. This is based on my personal opinions along with a few others, but feel free to disagree with me if you want. But with further, let us begin...

Anne almost always gets way too easily forgiven for f*cking up.

Okay! This one may be a hot take because I have never seen another person complain about this. But this has been eating me away for MONTHS, and if no one else is going to say it, then I will. While this occasionally extends to some other characters depending on the episode. The one I want to talk about most is Anne. Now, at the start of the series, Anne was pretty much a jerk with a heart of gold. She was selfish, bratty, lazy, and irresponsible, but she did learn from the mistakes that she made and became a true hero by the end of the series. While some of these flaws and mistakes are not worth talking about, there are still others that are actually worse than what the show's narrative portrays them to be.

They may not be as bad as leading a toad army to invade the capital city, burying the only thing that could get Anne home, or sending your friends to another world on purpose. Anne has still made some pretty questionable decisions, even to the point where they often cross the line.

Here's a list of some of the worst things Anne Boonchuy has ever done from Season 1 and 2:

Breaking Hop Pop's favorite cane that also happens to be a keepsake of his father and grandfather all while making fun of him.

Manipulating Sprig into taking Bessie the family Snail on a Joyride without reading. Which is like someone taking a car out for a spin without a driver's permit.

Forcing Sprig to marry Maddie despite his obvious discomfort for Pizza Dough and later forces him to date Ivy while he's still engaged to Maddie.

Faking being sick to get out of farm duty, which led the Plantars getting sick themselves and even thought they were all going to die from red leg.

Slacking off while she was supposed to be protecting the frozen townsfolk, while aware of what happens to one of them while they're frozen. Which, of course, led to Polly almost getting eaten by a giant weasel.

Causes massive property damage with Polly while on the streets of Newtopia, and later breaks into Newtopia University in hopes of finding a rad college party. The second one was Polly's idea, but Anne had no problem going along with it.

A team effort along with her frog family. Sending a giant chicken to attack Wartwood. Which BTW can create tornadoes, breathe fire, and even turned their loved ones into stone, all because they forgot to buy everyone gifts. Sure, Anne was against the idea, but she still went along with it.

What do characters usually respond with when Anne admits her mess ups?! "It's okay! You're good! What you did was serious, but it doesn't matter that we almost died, as long as you learned your lesson."

Though Anne still at least got a lot better, as the worst things she's done in Season 3 were covering up some major plot points from her parents, robbing a museum to get a clue on how to find a way back to Amphibia, and tricking Blair the Balloonist into flying a hot air balloon. Though, the first one is still a little f*cked up, but she did have selfless reasons for doing these, and she came clean for 2/3 of these.

But still, 90% of this show is just a lighthearted slice of life cartoon, but when it shifts to its dark story driven and plot twisting side, this is where the narrative (and by some extent Anne herself) gets pretty hypocritical. It's pretty much when Anne messes up and lies to other characters. It's a simple error in judgment. But when other main characters such as Sasha, Marcy, and even Hop Pop do the same to her, first they gotta face hell for it, and then they get their redemption arc.

Yes! They did do some serious sh*t, and Anne had a right to be mad at them. But it seems that other characters are just not allowed to even stay mad at Anne when she does pretty similar sh*t. I mean, yes, she does try to make up for it, and yes, she admits what she's done most of the time, and eventually, she does become a better person from them. But so have Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy. But again, they didn't get the protagonists treatment. They got hurt and thrown around like ragdolls because of one or two big mistakes, and even that wasn't enough.

While Anne sometimes faces some consequences for her actions, like breaking Hop Pop's heirloom cane with HP giving her dish duty for a month (Cmon man! You should've given her way more than that!), gets banned from an arcade because she threatened to eat newt kids for cutting in line (which is not important), and most importantly, gets stranded in Amphibia after being peer pressured by her friends to shoplift it, all on her 13th birthday. Which I guess was enough for karma itself to feel so bad for her that she will hardly ever worry about facing any lasting consequences for her misdeeds ever again. While karma beats the cr*p out of others who would dare lie and betray our precious protagonists, even when they have sympathetic reasons for doing so.

Speaking of, this leads to me to clarify something that some fans have misinterpreted since the beginning of the series. The flashback scene in the second episode, "Best Fronds," was intended to show where Anne's distorted views on friendship and some of her toxic traits come from. Not to justify every single bad decision Anne has ever made, like what some fans think.

While I'm not gonna say that Anne was just as bad as Sasha before Amphibia, as it does show that Anne had her own personal flaws that she had to get through without depending on her friends. Who were more enabling her flaws than causing them.

However, while the show does try to show that Anne wasn't exactly much better in their friend dynamic than they were. For the reasons I mentioned earlier, it instead paints Anne as the least toxic one or not being toxic at all. With them only making a handful of moments that show that even after their betrayals, Anne still isn't much better than them. But the usual wacky slice of life narrative in her character development episodes downplays the severity of her actions, with Anne only just getting an emotional lesson after nearly getting everyone killed, and some of the said lessons being brought up in a few episodes to test her character or as examples to show others how much she has grown.

Now, I'm going to do some comparisons between Amphibia and The Owl House. While there are several things that Amphibia did better than TOH and about an equal amount of things TOH did better than Amphibia. One of those things that The Owl House did better than Amphibia was the writers treating each and every character fairly. The characters make mistakes and learn from them without the narrative downplaying the seriousness of their mistakes, and it isn't always "Okay! You're forgiven! What you did was serious, but it doesn't matter that we almost died. You learned your lesson, and that's what matters." While it doesn't give other characters the short end of the forgiveness stick for doing similar sh*t. With that, it also makes the character arcs a little bit better, in my opinion.

However, I'm not saying that Anne's character development was bad or that Matt Braly is treating Anne like how some see Alex Hirsch did with Mabel. The show did alright with changing a bratty teenager with flawed views of friendship into a true and selfless hero. All of what I described seems to what TV Tropes would call "Protagonist Centered Morality," and if I'm being honest, but because of that reason, I don't find Anne to be the most appealing character to me. I'm sorry! I know that a lot of you love her, and she's the second most popular character in the show; with the first being Marcy (my favorite), but I don't even dislike her either. I just feel that the narrative could've done better in treating the characters more fairly, like how TOH did with their characters. I really want to like Anne more than I do now, but for what I described, it makes it kinda hard for me to.

That's it for my opinions on this. This was longer than I thought, so if you read it this far or read it at all. You either think that I have a point and should do more of this or my analysis stinks, and I should never speak my dumb mind again. I'll probably see how this goes either way. If anybody else here still cares about this show.

[thechibilitwick]

As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

​​Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno