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ultravioletbrit · 3 months ago

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“spin” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 410 words

CW: drinking / smoking

“Ok! We’re playing fuck, marry, kill!” Barty announces, overly excited.

The party has been over for a while, but there’s still a group of them lingering in the common room playing random drinking games and they’re all fairly drunk by this point.

“Alright…” Barty thinks, looking around the circle “Reg! Fuck, marry, kill–”

“James.” Regulus answers instantly without letting Barty finish.

“Ugh. Reggie, you have to wait for the… wait what?!” Sirius starts then cuts himself off when he registers what Regulus said.

“You want to fuck James?!” Sirius asks looking shocked and appalled.

“You want to marry me?” James swoons with hearts in his eyes.

“I think you’re both focusing on the wrong thing here.” Peter tries to interject.

“I think we should have played spin the bottle instead.” Marlene grumbles under her breath from the other side of the circle.

“The bottle’s pointing at James!” Regulus yells as he starts crawling across the circle to James.

“No one even spun the bottle, Reg.” Dorcas tries to grab Regulus but he’s too far away, so she just falls back to where she was laying in Marlene’s lap.

“I don’t think Reg knows how to play any of these games.” Remus says as he passes a joint to Peter so he can try to grab Sirius who just got out of the chair the two of them are sharing.

“Stop that right now! What is happening!?” Sirius trips on his way to try and pull Regulus off James to stop what has turned into a rather intense make out session.

“Is no one concerned that Reg wants to kill James?” Peter asks seriously as he lets out a puff of smoke.

“He doesn’t actually want to kill James, you high idiot.” Mary rolls her eyes and smacks Peter on the back of the head as she steals the joint.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Reg has some weird kinks.” Evan says as he’s reaching for the half empty bottle in the middle of the circle that was never spun, but is pointing at James.

“I think everyone’s really drunk and we should all go to bed.” Lily announces from her spot on the floor, dropping her head on the couch behind her.

“I think you’re really pretty.” Pandora looks at Lily from where she is laying upside down on the couch with her legs hanging over the back, her head laying right beside Lily’s.

Regulus and James continue to make out, completely oblivious to everything else around them.

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butchfalin · 1 year ago

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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

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a-scary-lack-of-common-sense · 4 months ago

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Local idiot absolutely destroys his twin brother

⚠️ Do not try this at home❗️⁉️

#I imagine Ford weighs like a stack of papers because he never fucking ate anything during his frantic search for his brother #my unhealthy habit silly old man <3 he gains weight after he finds Stanley again dw dw #Sometimes Stan remembers who Ford is- sometimes he doesn't. Depends on the time of day #but I do think it would be hilarious if Stanley's first reaction to suddenly finding himself near a seeming stranger is to FLIP him #my art #gravity falls #gravity falls au #HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU #stanley pines #stan pines #stanford pines #ford pines #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #a few more silly doodles out of my system <3

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brainrotcharacters · 5 months ago

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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

#i can't believe i'm saying this #DEADPOOL CAN GET IT #Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him #I would too bestie #it's the sass for me folks #paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god #a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think #this is a branch in realities i know it #i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie #all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME #camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch #i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction #i love how you love deadpool #deadpool #wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #wade wilson #logan howlett #poolverine #deadclaws #don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here #@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating #do it again #gif is credit to the owner #30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update #damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here #guys just find my other post

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ruubesz-draws · 9 months ago

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What if...

April Fools!

*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

#godzilla #godzilla x kong: the new empire #kong #godzilla minus one #april fools #Legendary and Minus 1 swap?#that's be hilarious lol #poor kong #he will find out that Minus 1 is more gremlin and scary than Suko #and Legendary would... just chill in Japan??#ig???#idk but just imagine lol #anyway more art coming!#stay tuned!#do not repost #my art

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idkaguyorsomething · 1 year ago

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“apollo wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” “hermes wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” you fools. ¿have you forgotten who the greek god of theatre is?

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tinukis · 1 year ago

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HATERS MAD I CAN EXPERIENCE CHILDLIKE WONDER ☀️🌟‼️‼️‼️

egghead becoming animated has permanently changed me as a person

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months ago

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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?

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undertheredhood · 1 year ago

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the rest of the justice league: hey man, we get that he’s your son and all, but shouldn’t you do something about him?

bruce ‘that’s my precious baby boy’ wayne: i’m sorry, did you have to hold your son as he was dying in your arms? did you almost k*ll yourself trying to follow him to the afterlife? i don’t think so.

#dc comics #dc universe #dcu #justice league #batman #bruce wayne #bruce thomas wayne #red hood #jason todd #jason peter todd #batfamily #batfam #jason was never the angry robin #wfa bruce does this all the time #bruce at anytime: did you lose your child and couldn’t do anything to stop it? when that happens then you can tell me what to do about him #it’s not realistic but i think it would be hilarious if bruce just let jason get away with anything after he comes back

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carpboy3000 · 1 month ago

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wild life session five spoilers!!

~The Grand Heist~ (spoilers under cut)

the funniest part about this was Grian absolutely watching Tango steal the robobot and doing nothing about it. so funny. everybody collectively says "tango we love you" and sheds a single tear

#tangotek #trafficblr #wild life #skizzleman #goodtimeswithscar #martyn itlw #wild life session 5 #more detailed wls5 spoilers after this tag btw #tango nation how we feelin #he could still win this... imagine if he did. it would be SO FUNNY #also this was by far my fav session so far it was hilarious #wild life smp

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ashprince-of-bel-air · 3 months ago

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They didn't deny it so he absolutely does.

All that blood has to rush somewhere.

#why else would he make those moaning noises #astarion bg3 #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #astarion #bg3 #not my tweet #just found saw on twitter and thought it was hilarious

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egophiliac · 1 year ago

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this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks!#fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out)#also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side.#he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head.#anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER.#100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him.#lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father.#lilia:#lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along.#(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him)#i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there.#and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

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iwoulddieforienzo · 1 year ago

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Personally I think percabeth is at its best when Grover is in it. I don’t necessarily mean in a polycule way I just think it’s great when he’s around

#just you and me and me and you just us and our friend Grover :)#he IS a third wheel. however he’s a very appreciated 3rd wheel who is never left out of anything except make out sessions.#he comes on 90% of their dates and would probably come on all of them but he’s Busy :(#and also he exasperatedly tells them that a date should probably include only the people dating. he’s tired of watching them make out okay.#like he’s genuinely happy for them but for the love of PAN. he is RIGHT HERE.#they both smack his ass as they do each others and like to pretend to break up with each other to date him. they flirt with him sometimes.#there are no romantic feelings involved on either side. annabeth and Percy just think they’re hilarious #when they get married they’ll probably end up marrying him too tbh. even just spiritually. he probably lives with them #percabeth #pjo #grover underwood #annabeth chase #Percy Jackson

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laatteheart · 7 months ago

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they're all freaks, your honour

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr fanart #stellaron hunters #sunday hsr #hsr kafka #elio hsr #hsr blade #silver wolf #hsr firefly #i will NOT draw the mecha suit sorry gang i can't #i subscribe to the stellaron hunter sunday theory #elio saw this dude like join my emo band #if it turns out to be true i think sunday's dynamic with the stellaron hunters would be hilarious #sunday has never been raise in a casual household so he's just getting flashbanged when someone tells him to help do the groceries #laatteheartartdump

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goldensunset · 7 months ago

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when people refer to canon story-relevant kingdom hearts games as ‘spinoffs’ it makes me sad not only for the obvious reasons i always say but also bc like man i WISH this series had spinoffs. imagine what they could do if they had permission from nomura to truly go off the rails and ignore the greater canon for a second and just do some fun whimsical plotless thing in an alternate universe. imagine a fishing/boating game on destiny islands. kh fighting game. it is an injustice that we have been deprived of kingdom karts. can anyone hear me

#in terms of alternate gameplay and lack of reliance on plot #i feel like melody of memory is the closest thing kh has actually had to a spinoff #but even that is important in its own way in the end #union cross to a certain degree as well what with being an online multiplayer gacha type game #its original concept i would definitely classify as a spinoff game #bc it was set in a totally different world and time period and was supposed to be about customization and fun with friends #and nomura or someone said it wasn’t meant to be connected to the plot #but then like. he did very much go and give it a plot. like he went back on that almost immediately #and even then. given that the game is still very much combat and exploration #even from the beginning can it really be called a spinoff? it’s just kh in a different format #i’m talking like a game in which the objective is something totally different.#racing game or cooking game or fighting game or (another) rhythm game #ace attorney style detective game. dancing game. dude i don’t know #there are so many different flavors they could go with here #alas nomura is allergic to genuine whimsy which is hilarious given that this is a disney series #like he apparently was like ‘ohhh should we really let sora in smash? would it make sense in the story?’#my brother in christ surely we’re not supposed to interpret this as canon to kh right? right????#i guess it’s just that the kh franchise has a very specific pristine vibe he wants to maintain #which is disney shenanigans as a seasoning on top of a main dish of Stone Cold Serious Anime Plot #kingdom hearts #kh #mine: kh

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leafwateraddict · 2 months ago

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When you do the math problem wrong but still somehow manage to find the solution…

Was supposed to be my submission for @sansxyouweek Day 2: Act to Flirt but turned into a whole comic 💀 (i mean. I guess it still counts?)

#sans ability to read faces is so hilarious to me because he would clock how unaware i am of things IMMEDIATELY #the mixed signals on me would drive him crazy 😭#im sorry im so dense bbgirl #sansxyouweek2024 #sans x reader #sans x self insert #sans x you #oc x canon #sans #leafs art

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