#he would be hilarious | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ultravioletbrit · 7 months ago

Text

“spin” - Jegulus microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 410 words

CW: drinking / smoking

“Ok! We’re playing fuck, marry, kill!” Barty announces, overly excited.

The party has been over for a while, but there’s still a group of them lingering in the common room playing random drinking games and they’re all fairly drunk by this point.

“Alright…” Barty thinks, looking around the circle “Reg! Fuck, marry, kill–”

“James.” Regulus answers instantly without letting Barty finish.

“Ugh. Reggie, you have to wait for the… wait what?!” Sirius starts then cuts himself off when he registers what Regulus said.

“You want to fuck James?!” Sirius asks looking shocked and appalled.

“You want to marry me?” James swoons with hearts in his eyes.

“I think you’re both focusing on the wrong thing here.” Peter tries to interject.

“I think we should have played spin the bottle instead.” Marlene grumbles under her breath from the other side of the circle.

“The bottle’s pointing at James!” Regulus yells as he starts crawling across the circle to James.

“No one even spun the bottle, Reg.” Dorcas tries to grab Regulus but he’s too far away, so she just falls back to where she was laying in Marlene’s lap.

“I don’t think Reg knows how to play any of these games.” Remus says as he passes a joint to Peter so he can try to grab Sirius who just got out of the chair the two of them are sharing.

“Stop that right now! What is happening!?” Sirius trips on his way to try and pull Regulus off James to stop what has turned into a rather intense make out session.

“Is no one concerned that Reg wants to kill James?” Peter asks seriously as he lets out a puff of smoke.

“He doesn’t actually want to kill James, you high idiot.” Mary rolls her eyes and smacks Peter on the back of the head as she steals the joint.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Reg has some weird kinks.” Evan says as he’s reaching for the half empty bottle in the middle of the circle that was never spun, but is pointing at James.

“I think everyone’s really drunk and we should all go to bed.” Lily announces from her spot on the floor, dropping her head on the couch behind her.

“I think you’re really pretty.” Pandora looks at Lily from where she is laying upside down on the couch with her legs hanging over the back, her head laying right beside Lily’s.

Regulus and James continue to make out, completely oblivious to everything else around them.

436 notes · View notes

butchfalin · 1 year ago

Text

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

149K notes · View notes

egophiliac · 15 days ago

Text

did this as a quick scribble at like 1 AM last night and...immediately lost all motivation to ever clean it up. ( ᐛ ) but I had to draw my son being the fanciest little flower boy who ever threw petals down an aisle. oh my god.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #eternity float #eternity float of the coral sea #surprise! my art actually CAN look worse!#but i just love these fancy lads so much #like i was initially kinda 'CORAL S -- aw no merforms? :('#but i figure they're probably saving a proper underwater event for azul so whatever it's time for HYPE #especially because it looks like it might be WEDDING-THEMED(!!!)#and/or kiss the girl(!!!!!!!)#and honestly for both of those jade is actually the funniest possible ssr choice #sorry leona we found the one event that...no he would still be hilarious. dangit.#honestly though these are top-tier choices all around #if i was going to walk around a beach while jade talks endlessly at me about the legend of the mermaid princess with big sleeves #i could ask for nothing better than riddle malleus and rook to be standing there tossing flower petals at me the whole time #i know it's probably all ~algorithm-based~ or whatever they have that tells them what characters to use #but there is legit a little something i think in doing a kiss the girl theme with those three #the three guys who have some of the most trouble properly expressing themselves #and also jade who i assume just thinks they're all prime sources for hilarity #he will 100% be looking for opportunities to 'accidentally' push someone overboard #bonus points if there's a very fancy cake that they can fall into on the way down #i don't know anything about what the story will be yet but i know that much is true

4K notes · View notes

chloesimaginationthings · 8 days ago

Text

The FNAF 2 movie animatronics just stab people now

4K notes · View notes

a-scary-lack-of-common-sense · 8 months ago

Text

Local idiot absolutely destroys his twin brother

⚠️ Do not try this at home❗️⁉️

#I imagine Ford weighs like a stack of papers because he never fucking ate anything during his frantic search for his brother #my unhealthy habit silly old man <3 he gains weight after he finds Stanley again dw dw #Sometimes Stan remembers who Ford is- sometimes he doesn't. Depends on the time of day #but I do think it would be hilarious if Stanley's first reaction to suddenly finding himself near a seeming stranger is to FLIP him #my art #gravity falls #gravity falls au #HWINEBHABWNAJCAHOWEEATOWEUB AU #stanley pines #stan pines #stanford pines #ford pines #grunkle stan #grunkle ford #a few more silly doodles out of my system <3

5K notes · View notes

brainrotcharacters · 8 months ago

Text

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

#i can't believe i'm saying this #DEADPOOL CAN GET IT #Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him #I would too bestie #it's the sass for me folks #paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god #a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think #this is a branch in realities i know it #i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie #all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME #camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch #i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction #i love how you love deadpool #deadpool #wolverine #deadpool and wolverine #wade wilson #logan howlett #poolverine #deadclaws #don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here #@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating #do it again #gif is credit to the owner #30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update #damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here #guys just find my other post

8K notes · View notes

beskarfrog · 26 days ago

Text

I think I'd need to retake the flash-training module on humanoid biology.

#codywan #digital art #star wars #I think it would be hilarious if cody was the person anakin went to for help when he found out padme was pregnant #like he's a responsible adult but not a jedi and doesn't have the same expectations of him that palpatine does #so in anakin's brain cody's the obvious choice to give advice #potential reasons behind cody's confusion:#1- he and obi-wan are not actually in a relationship (no matter how much they'd like to be)#2- they are in a relationship but they're both cis or both trans #3- they are in a relationship but the trans one tops #i think its funniest if cody and obi-wan *are* together but anakin doesn't know that and he still leads with this question

2K notes · View notes

benevolenterrancy · 2 months ago

Text

A man needs a hobby while he's waiting for his beloved disciple to return from the dead and torture him!!!

(SQQ is a complete fucking freak and I love him so much)

#svsss #shen qingqiu #shang qinghua #cumplane #ming fan #ning yingying #listen. i know that the probable CORRECT way of reading this is that ''man i hate hearing about this stupid harem drama so much that #even hearing about something as gross as THIS would somehow be better!!''#but i choose not to read it that way #because sqq and his monster obsession is absolutely hilarious to me #he's already kept the short haired beast why not build onto the menagerie?#also i like to headcanon that sqh has a PARTICULAR dislike for these things after sqq kept fucking throwing them at him during #the immortal alliance conference #my art #EDIT: why must one always notice the typos while in bed two hours after posting??#peace and love for everyone that politely ignored that and reblogged it anyway

2K notes · View notes

satsuha · 3 months ago

Text

themis 2019

#satsuhart #ace attorney #klavier gavin #sebastian debeste #eustace winner #i don't think they'd be friends but i think it would be hilarious to see them interact #klavier barely goes to class so he doesn't know who eustace is and eustace knows nothing about pop culture so he doesn't know the gavinners

2K notes · View notes

melioristicbeast · 2 months ago

Text

"DerekDerekDEREK holy mother of GOD I'm about to fall 200 feet to my DEATH" "Better hold on tight, spider monkey" "What the hell is a sp- NO don't you daaAAA"

Another of my friend K's suggestions - when she found out I'd never watched twilight she suggested we do so together, but she keeps insisting she won't tell me what happens in the last ones in advance because then I'll 'never agree to watch them'. i am afraid.

#teen wolf #stiles stilinski #derek hale #sterek #sterek fanart #twilight #these movies are so BLAND colorwise #why were all of their clothes in this scene the exact shades of green/brown the background was #anyway #whenever there was a shot of an actor on wires their body language screamed “I WAS NOT AWARE IT WOULD BE GOING THIS FAST”#hilarious #Tried for a more stylized look here #which I'm hmm about #but hey #it's a process #my art #OOPS only noticing 4 hours after posting that the layer with derek's beard on the last panel disappeared at some point LOL #he went so fast it fell off ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2K notes · View notes

poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months ago

Text

Your beats make me sick

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #a-yuan #wen qing #wen ning #This scene raised several implications that range from retroactively hilarious -#-to confrontationally horrifying.#First with the hilarious bit; Hey! We've seen this scene before!#In fact - this particular duet is so similar to the duet LWJ and WWX perform to calm the mystery arm in Cloud Recess-#-That I am honestly flabbergasted WWX *didn't* realize LWJ would catch on his real identity.#Sure there are a lot of ways you could justify it. But also...even if he didn't play Wangxian.mp3...he would have been found out eventually #"I have to get away from LWJ by annoying him via flirting!' uhhh like you pretty much did throughout most of your late teens?#I think there is something a bit charming about WWX if he's truly that bad of an actor. Go on king. Live your authentic truth.#For the horrifying implications...I didn't depict it here but it's not *just* Wen Ning who breaks out and goes into a frenzy.#It is also the other corpses that are around the burial grounds.#You know; the ones that even he admits he has no idea how many there are!#It puts a lot more weight on 'how much longer do you really think you can do this?'#The village in the burial grounds was *always* under a time limit. It was a matter of when and how it would be destroyed.#And I do believe that firmly. As depressing and pessimistic as it is; The Wen Remnants were never meant to survive.

1K notes · View notes

jodoesnew · 4 months ago

Text

On the other end

A small dcaXy/n idea I had

Premis: Y/N works part time in the daycare but doesn't really interact with the dca which doesn't mean the dca didn't notice them there.

Start of the story

Y/N gets messages from an unknown number and decides to answer

They start messaging thinking that they don't know each other at all

They notice that the tone and wording in the messages switches completely throughout the day but get used to it way too fast

Y/N's life is a complete mess right now so Unknown is a pleasant distraction

They never tell each other their real names but use nicknames instead

Both share how they feel often and text about life and just anything that they think of

Someday y/n just calls their unknown friend to share some great news because they have no one else they want to share it with

They don't pick up but call back later

A male voice they have never heard answers. A pleasant one. They talk for hours.

But the voice tells them to only call at night bc he can't talk on the phone while working. But texting is fine

Y/N falls in love over late night phone calls and long text convos

They ask if they could meet up and hang out

He doesn't answer

The connection goes silent

The last thing he sent is "I'm so sorry. But I can't" written only a few minutes after their question (in the middle of the day)

Hours go by and they get no answer from him anymore

Hurt and worried Y/N is in a daze of crying and starring at nothing for the rest of the week

This is when Y/N misses their break bc they stayed in the daycare closet to cry

As they step out the daycare is dark sth that Y/N was never there to see

Then they hear it. The voice of the person they love singing from where the kids are sleeping.

Y/N stumbles through the dark until they reach the kids and lock eyes with the daycare attendant

Moon goes quiet and his eyes betray him and show his shock

Y/N is stunned

"It's you?"

Awkward

P2, P3

#fnaf dca #fnaf moon #fnaf sun #dca au #dca sun #dca moon #dca x reader #dca x y/n #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca au #my art #It would probably be fun to switch perspectives between the dca and yn and make the reader an accomplice in the catfishing >:3 #There is still the problem of world building but one could just use the pizza plex as the hub for all of yn's problems #I just think seeing sun and moon brainstorm what to answer to yn's messages hilarious #sun losing it and writing near paragraphs of text and moon only using emotes or short form answers #but then turns around and asks the most personal and thought provoking questions ever #And sun having a panic attack when the call happens standing like an idiot in the middle of the daycare #contemplating if he should just pick and run to their room

1K notes · View notes

egophiliac · 3 months ago

Note

Malleus' bday is coming up, thoughts on what his sleepwear might be?

anticipating that reveal any time now, so gotta get my predictions in real quick (aka extremely fast drawings) (I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #kutsurogi my room #i have never drawn a good malleus in my life and i'm not about to start now #i do want him to have his tail out though #for no reason except to make me happy :)#man. i gave up on pulling for lilia to save for you mal #you better make this worth it #just kidding the idea of malleus in sleepwear is so inherently hilarious it could by anything and it would be worth it #what if it's just malleus in his regular school uniform #he doesn't sleep. he has no sense of time. he shows up to the library at 2am and is like 'am i late for the housewarden meeting'#yuu gets up in the middle of the night for a snack and malleus is just there. sitting in the rafters.#'the cracks in your ceiling plaster are particularly nice tonight human child'#'yeah okay cool tsunotarou. you want a hot chocolate or something'#'...yes please'

3K notes · View notes

ruubesz-draws · 1 year ago

Text

What if...

April Fools!

*DO NOT REPOST MY ART*

#godzilla #godzilla x kong: the new empire #kong #godzilla minus one #april fools #Legendary and Minus 1 swap?#that's be hilarious lol #poor kong #he will find out that Minus 1 is more gremlin and scary than Suko #and Legendary would... just chill in Japan??#ig???#idk but just imagine lol #anyway more art coming!#stay tuned!#do not repost #my art

3K notes · View notes

morastfrck · 2 months ago

Text

Continuation of one of my prev posts, where the vote ended in x after mingle

#right after being thrown out of the black van #and now they are standing in the middle of nowhere in front of macdonalds about to eat away at their sorrows #they got their clothes back and namgyu finds thanos' pants hilarious #jokes on him thats how he keeps warm in the middle of the night w no jacket #pants smell of muppet btw #and vape that was leaking all that time in the same trash bag as muppet pants and other stuff #macdonalds worker is so done with life at them #fanart #squid game 2 #squid game #thanos #thanos squid game #choi su bong #namgyu #player 230 #player 124 #thangyu #thagyu #tbh ijust saw those pants on pinterest and decided that the asshole would so wear them

733 notes · View notes

leafwateraddict · 6 months ago

Text

When you do the math problem wrong but still somehow manage to find the solution…

Was supposed to be my submission for @sansxyouweek Day 2: Act to Flirt but turned into a whole comic 💀 (i mean. I guess it still counts?)

#sans ability to read faces is so hilarious to me because he would clock how unaware i am of things IMMEDIATELY #the mixed signals on me would drive him crazy 😭#im sorry im so dense bbgirl #sansxyouweek2024 #sans x reader #sans x self insert #sans x you #oc x canon #sans #leafs art

1K notes · View notes