#he was so silly and I’m going to miss him so so much
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adelheidvonschicksal · 1 day ago
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Frowny Face
Summary: Nobara and Itadori try to figure out the similarities between Megumi and his son. They manage to find that the infamous Zen'in frowny face is a dominant trait.
Tags: Megumi x F!Reader, Humor, Fluff, SFW, 1200 wc
Notes: I had this drafted for weeks. After seeing the epilogue and the grandkids, wish I had posted sooner, I felt there wasn't a more appropriate time for this. Happy belated-birthday 'gumi.
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“No, no, look again, he definitely has his eyes,” Itadori points out.
Nobara lowers her face towards the baby currently blinking at the two of them from the comfort of his plush crib. Megumi stands off to the side, arms loosely crossed over his chest and an increasingly spreading scowl as his two friends, if he could call them that right now, poke and prod at his kid.
Nobara was the first one to point out how much his child was growing and starting to resemble his parents before noticing that his new emerging features leaned heavily to your side of the family, leading to this search to pick out their similarities.
“I’m not seeing it,” Nobara disagrees, failing to find the hint of dark blue that Itadori swears he can see in the baby’s right pupil. To her, all she can see is black all the way through both eyes, like the majority of the Zen’in clan geezers from those centuries old family books she helped Maki trash; unfortunately, this didn't include Megumi so they couldn't even count it. With a hand on her hip, she turns to Megumi. “Sheesh, he doesn’t resemble you at all. The misses really said copy and paste, huh?”  
Megumi huffs, about three seconds away from shooing them into the kitchen where you’re making dinner. That’s until Itadori pipes up, “Sure he does.” And for a second, Megumi thinks they’ll finally drop this silly discussion. “He has the same grumpy face his dad does.”
Megumi sighs. He should’ve known better.
“Now that you mention it,” Kugisaki can barely contain her laughter as she reaches into the crib and gently pinches a chubby cheek. Your son makes no expression at her playful squeeze or poke to his belly. His tiny legs kick the same way any other baby would when tickled, but the flat line on his face refuses to budge. “This is the least smiley baby I’ve ever seen,” she concludes while Itadori nods in agreement as he goes in to tickle the baby’s foot – just to make sure.
Megumi knows the two idiots don’t mean any harm by it, being the person to receive the brunt end of their jokes and observations over his life, the kind that can only be made out of innocent obliviousness and overconfidence, but he can’t help but feel more defensive when it’s his kid.
“Do you two have nothing better to do than to shame a baby?” he gripes. “It’s late, go home.”
“Oh, lighten up, we were only teasing. He’s adorable,” Nobara dismisses as she notes how much bigger her future-partner-in-crime has become over the past few months. Looking back on it, she can’t recall any time she’s heard him laugh or much of anything. Sure, she’s seen him get fussy while babysitting, but she’s rarely heard him cry. “But you have to admit he isn’t very expressive…for a baby,” she mentions with a hint of concern, concern that isn’t needed from Megumi’s point of view.
“Maybe you two just aren’t funny,” he says, watching the way Itadori attempts to get his son to laugh by making silly faces; it results in little more than a fist full of pink hair getting tugged.
“I’m being serious. I mean…” she tilts her head, trying to word it delicately. “Does he smile at all?”
Megumi nods. “He smiles.”
“Does he?” Itadori presses, craning his neck as he struggles to free his hair.
“He does,” Megumi repeats, his eyes softening at the memory of that innocent and joyful giggle he first heard like an unimaginable dream come true. “It’s just when you’re not around.”
Nobara rubs at the back of her neck apologetically. “Sorry. I didn’t mean any offense by it. He’s a good baby,” she compliments before moving to help free Itadori’s hair from his iron-like grip. “And strong too,” she adds, looks at him, and clicks her tongue when she once again fails to find the bit of blue Itadori mentioned earlier, but it provides an opportunity to cut through the awkwardness they unwittingly created. She fakes a sigh. “Unlike your genes. I don’t think they even had a battle plan.”
“Very funny,” he puffs out between their chuckles then he hears another voice coming from the direction of the kitchen.
“That’s not true,” you say as you pad into the room with a milk bottle in hand, the grin on your face trembling as you try not to laugh with them. “They have a lot in common.” You begin to list off on your fingers. “They both like the same fruit and animals, he really likes books when you read to him, and do you think his hair maintains itself?”
Nobara breathes out an "oh" at your explanation. “So, he gets mom's good looks to balance out dad's aloof personality? Makes sense."
Your resistance breaks as you let out a giggle, ignoring the pout on your husband’s face. “Are you guys staying for dinner?”
“No, we should really get going,” Nobara states with a small yawn. “Mission reports won’t write themselves.”
You nod, handing Megumi the bottle of milk as you walk the others to the door and wave them off.
“Have a good night,” Itadori calls out while Nobara makes you promise to phone her tomorrow and to come hang out if you’re free.
Locking the door, you walk back in and head towards the crib.
“You really shouldn’t entertain them when they get like that," Megumi reminds you.
“You know they only do it to mess with you. It’s how they show they like you.”
“You mean they’re idiots.”
“Yet you open the door right up every time they come over.”
Megumi gives you a doubtful look. “Not by choice. It’d be like trying to stop a rampaging bull from barging in,” Megumi states, and you let out an amused huff. 
No matter how much he complains and comments that they haven't changed one bit after leaving school, he enjoys them. You remember how excited he seemed when Itadori called to ask if it was okay to pop in since they were nearby. Well, excited in that he immediately started to straighten out the house even though he had already cleaned earlier that morning. It's cute little quirks that often gives him away and the ones that make you like him even more.
“If it makes you feel better, I think you have a great personality and good looks,” you compliment with a brush of your hand over his hair. You look down at your son, who still seem unmoved by all the events of the evening. It makes you laugh because Nobara and Itadori were right. Your son does have Megumi’s ever-dull facial expression. 
“And both my boys have the cutest frowny faces,” you say, holding up your son to your face to nuzzle his nose. As you pull him away, your eyes brighten at the wide smile that flashes on his face followed by a warm giggle. “Hello to you too,” you coo and cuddle him again, causing another fit of giggles to fill the room, and the sound resonates in his chest and makes him forget any problems that arose on the way to getting to this point in his life.
“You forgot to tell them one thing,” Megumi says, coming forward to kiss your temple. As he told the others, his son does smile, and Megumi does too. “They both smile when they see mommy.”
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birdsandbeetlesandmoths · 3 days ago
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So. Sonic 3. That was. certainly. hoo boy *collapses to the sound of a metal pipe falling*
Spoilers and thoughts under cut (LONG POST)
Well, my pre-movie post was SO WRONG. I think most stobotnik fans were, thinking that Stone would be the one dying. I- truly wasn’t expecting it.
I’ll get back to that in a second, let me get all of my silly things out of the way/the things i was hype about/had to crush my partner and friend’s hands about while witnessing.
The antics between Gerald and Ivo were expected but oh my GOD JIM CARREY. you are a national treasure, have fun in retirement. we will miss you greatly, but this being your final movie (probably) is a great thing to culminate your absolutely stunning career.
Anyway, their dance sequence was fucking insane, and as much as I was cringing, I was grinning through it too. The fight on the Eclipse cannon was also questionable BUT HOLY FUCK NOW I GET THE PRAYING MANTIS/FLY REFERENCE. (Thank god it wasn’t directly about stone and robotnik but i’m already cooking how i can connect them). Spanking? Also in my Sonic movie. But yeah.
Gerald and Ivo could never be more alike in intellect, but different in morals. Evident through Gerald’s fixation on avenging his daughter with no remorse or thought for whoever will get in the way, throwing away Ivo and the whole of the world as a result). He’s willing to kill himself, but as Shadow says and believes, that isn’t what Maria would have wanted.
I used to not like the Wachowskis. I was already a little unsettled when the first movie released by the fact that characters unrelated to previous Sonic media were being utilized as major plot elements, but during the second and third movies, I began to absolutely love them.
This third movie cemented that love. The father-son relationship between Tom and Sonic specifically. My heart was aching in the first scene at their little campsite, Happy BEarthday, and their heart-to-heart in Sonic’s old cave, talking about Choice (an analysis incoming) and that you always have a choice, and that your lungs (heart) will help you find the right one.
I think this movie might’ve done. One of the best jobs of displaying found family. The sibling relationship between Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic was the most heartrendingly beautiful and achingly real thing I’ve seen in a while. And it really hits you, the fact that they’re kids.
And the amount of silly little jokes, Tails having his gadgetry and Knuckles with his blunt personality, Sonic tying them all together with his wit and charm, it all became slightly surreal to see. To see something so happy, so delicately real.
Oh my god, on the trio, Knuckles saving both Sonic and Tails from falling to Earth. I was gasping that whole time, truly being sent into the moment. Movies and media rarely do that to me in the emotional sense.
AND AS FOR SHADOW AND MARIA
Holy fuck at least I was right about that part in my pre-movie wishes. I thought it was interesting how they adapted it, and it definitely made for it to be slightly more believable and less complicated.
But oh my gosh them. Skating around the lab, messing around together, introducing Shadow to that great 70s music and dancing, watching movies together and just being kids!! And don’t even get me started on the rooftop scene. Shadow was so vulnerable and self-conscious, and Maria comforted him in a way that touched me. Understands him in a way that no one else ever has, as everyone else only saw him as the experiment and the subject, while she saw him as his own person, with thoughts and emotions and curiosities.
It paralleled Sonic and Tom in the cinematography too, and the sentiment was all the same. That Shadow can choose who he wants to be. (I Am All I Am and Choice. Trust, it’s coming soon)
Maria and Shadow made me unbearably happy. It was all I could’ve ever asked for and more.
Shadow and Sonic were an absolutely crazy duo this show. Dude, in their fight versus each other? Both going Super and absolutely going at it, and Shadow having the absolute gall to accuse Sonic of not caring about his friends, that he was clearly here alone because he abandoned them, and mention Tom, which caused Sonic to go completely over the edge, and actually punch him straight into space and lose his Super.
Sonic and Shadow reconciling over their shared feeling of grief, Sonic sharing his pain, emphasizing the love that will be able to help them heal, Shadow reciprocating, and then Shadow remembering Maria after looking up at the stars, realizing, from Sonic’s words, that this truly wasn’t what Maria wanted, just that whole moon scene between them is living in my head rent free and I need to see it over and over again.
HOLYYY SHIT THEY PLAYED LIVE AND LEARN WHEN SUPER SONIC AND SUPER SHADOW TEAMED UP AND BEAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK OUT OF THOSE ROBOTS. Me and my friends were going so fucking insane in that theater.
Shadow remembering Maria (possibly for the last time) as he sacrifices himself to push the Eclipse cannon away from the place that Maria loved. Remembering all of the good moments, the love between them, that is all he wanted if he was going to leave the world for good. (Well, I mean, he’s still alive, but the amnesia route is still optional)
Sonic actually going slightly insane this movie was also very interesting to watch. His absolute- like, his vision went RED when Shadow mentioned Tom. That was what set him OFFFF. His abuse of the Master Emerald and even threatening his own best friends/siblings over this— god the emphasis of choice in this film I want to sob.
Also, yall already KNOW I WAS BALLING ABOUT THE AKIRA SLIDE, SNAPCUBE REFERENCES, AND EVERY TIME SHADOW BREATHED OR MOVED. Literally could not contain myself from absolutely sob-cry-screaming at Shadow and (Keanu did a great job btw) his entire story, his joy with Maria and his pain all after. (His Super form looked fuck beautiful, a new colorful hue every time I saw it)
All in all, Robotniks were hilarious, Maria and Shadow were beautifully tragic and just generally so so SO adorable and loving. I’m so glad that Tails and Knuckles got more serious appreciation and screen time this movie as well, because as much as Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles were sidelined in this movie (to put forth Robotniks and Shadow, understandably so), it still felt more fulfilling and real than in the second movie. Super forms continue to be beautiful onscreen, I would like to collapse and die from hearing ONE OK ROCK and Live and Learn.
AHEM. Now, clearly, I will be making a separate post solely about Stobotnik. Along with the multiple Stone-centric fics burning a hole in my brain and the choice and grief analyses awaiting my attention. Bear with me as I have SO MANY THOUGHTS.
We won. . . but at what cost.
My friends, my partner, you already know. We died and were promptly revived together in that theater.
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How would the OI characters react if the reader accidentally called them "husband" and was embarrassed after she realized her mistake?
This is so cute, oh my gosh! <3 Thank you so much for sending it!
OI Characters Called 'Husband' By Accident Headcanons
Steven: Absolutely giddy with joy! Yes, he is your husband. 100% heart eyes from him, he’ll grab your hand and squeeze it and smile. If you’re around other people he will call you ‘his wife’ straight away playfully and give you a sweet kiss on your cheek. 
Marc: Bless this man, he freezes. Error screen across his eyes and frantically inwardly asking Steven and Jake if they got married before he realises he’s being silly.
Jake: Without missing a beat, will ask, “Where is my ring?” And then will tease you about it playfully for ages until you're laughing.
Nathan: This idiot doesn’t even notice. You think, at first, it’s because he’s not paying attention. But when he sees you’re embarrassed he’s like, “why? What wrong? Why’s that bothering you? I basically am?”
Anselm: It doesn’t matter where you are because Anselm’s going down on you there and then.
Cecil: If he’s high it takes him a good fifteen minutes to register what you said. 
Club!Blue: He’s (unsurprisingly) a little shit about it. “Oh, you like me that much do you? You want to marry me?” Will smugly tell everyone. “They want to marry me.” 
Orderly!Blue: He’s going to tease you until you cry, I’m so sorry. (He’s then going to fuck your brains out).
Jack: Do NOT say this unless you want to end up tied up in his trailer.
Santiago: Will joke with you about it, “Oh, calling me that because I nag you too much, huh?” Is secretly very pleased, but doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed. 
Shimmer!Kane: Doesn’t quite get the implication, but he doesn’t like seeing you upset/embarrassed. Will give you a hug.
King John: Similar to Club!Blue, he’s going to be telling everyone and preening about it.
Rydal: Surprisingly gets all shy and blushes. 
Laurent: He’s already got the ring in his back pocket.
Poe: Giggles about it in a very ‘oh my gosh, hee hee hee, do you like me?’ way, even if you have been together for years.
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skzfairyyydreamz · 1 day ago
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Replaced? (Part7)
Genre: Skz smau, Text posts, Non!idolAu, Angst, friends to enemies, Mini series
Pairing: Bsf!skz , Fem!Reader, Stoner!Skz/Stoner!Reader, Bartender!skz, Club manager!Chan, Club security!Changbin, Bottle girl!Reader
Warnings: ‼️Slow build‼️strong language (obvi coming from the profanity queennnn) , mentions of alcohol and smoking, mentions of fighting, mentions of/implied SA, mentions of anxiety plz let me know if i missed anything!
A/N: thank you guys sooo much for all the love on this mini series, and my biggest apologies for the wait! i pinky promise NOT to take a whole month to post the next part!!! but with this series coming to an end prepare yourselves for non stop CHAOS DRAMA and ANGST! all feedback, reblogs, and replies are SAUR greatly appreciated !!! thank you for sticking around and reading my silly little stories!
© Skzfairyyydreamz - Plagiarism is a crime. Do not repost, alter, translate or copy without my consent.
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After what felt like 30 long and silent minutes of everyone collectively cleaning up the after math of that night, you finally broke the silence.. 
“Honestly Thank you guys sm for staying to help me with this crazy ass mess .. and you know…”  you spoke nodding your head in the direction of your bedroom referring to jeongin while avoiding saying his name like it was some type of bad omen.  
“No, Ofc!” Changbin spoke. 
“You know we wouldn’t leave you alone after all that happened tonight.” Felix added as he finished pushing all your furniture back into its designated places.  
“please" chris scoffed “as much time as we spend in this apartment, we’re practically your roommates! Ofc we’d stay to help out. ” he added as he came out the kitchen holding what sounded like a garbage bag full of empty solo cups and broken glass.  
“Girl go get some rest you're gonna need it, gimme that.” minho said while taking the broom and dustpan from your hands and shooing you away.  
“Agreed! ” Felix walked up behind you kissing the side of your head and gently rubbing your shoulders “You’re free to go shower and change or get comfy however you need darling.”  
“Nuh uh, you s-?” You turned around but he shut your protest down rather quickly. “I’m positive princess, go. We’ll take care of everything out here”  
“But -” 
“GO...I got it!” he turned you around ignoring the pout on your face as he nudged you in the direction of the hallway.  
It was nearly sunrise, and you were absolutely dreading the idea of having to face jeongin when he woke up. Even then in that moment walking into your bedroom to prepare for a shower, you dreaded even being in his presence. Just the thought of him possibly waking up at any given second was eating you alive, REGARDLESS to the sound of his grizzly bearlike snores and the sight of drool sliding down the sides of his mouth, indicating that he was VERY much sound asleep. However, You never even made it passed the doorframe of your room before the anxious knots in your stomach told you to turn around and run right back down that hallway.  
“ lix ... i cant- I cant do it.” you whisper panicked running up to him and grabbing his hand. 
“cant what baby ?”  “ i feel so nasty and guilty, i can't even look at him right now what if we wakes up!??”      
“ baby... first of all you have nothing to feel guilty for. And secondly, he slept through the sound of you trying bash sophies face in with glass liquor bottles...  I'm pretty sure that dude is not waking up any time soon my love” he let out a chuckle. “What if he does thoooo!??” you whined “ im not ready to face him babe what will i say to him huh??? Oh, hey there jeongin i just tried to kill your girlfriend because shes such a shitty unfaithful stupid little bitch, how did you sleep?” felix cackled out loud this time pulling you into a hug and kiss to calm your racing mind. “ okay okay I'll get your clothes for you, no worries princess”  
“ugh, thank you so much lix youre actually an angel“ 
“no problem jagi , tshirt or hoodie?”  
“hoodie” you continued to pout slightly , while trying to brush the weight of tomorrows worries away  “sweatpants or shorts?"
“shorts please” 
“mkay, be back in a jiff!!”  he began walking down the hall to your bedroom “pink towel, black loofa please!!” you yelled out to him. 
“you got it!” he answered back “you're so amazinggg, you deserved the world!! “ you thanked him aloud once more “ i already have her” he sing songed back to you as you smiled to yourself thanking the heavens you could go a least few more hours avoiding the inevitable.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           ~~~~~                                                                                                                                                                                           
“... no im telling you it was weird as fuck! Like her whole aura just completely changed when she saw him.” ( felix) 
“putting two and two together he clearly had to have said or done something to her for her to be so angry. We’ve known y/n for a long ass time and I've never seen her more mad than she was tonight.” (minho) 
“besides trying to murder sophie..” (changbin) 
“yes... besides that! Also not to mention his face was bright fucking red when we came back upstairs and they were the only two in the apartment.” (minho) 
“it WAS! Idk what happened but im pretty positive she smacked the shit out of him.” (changbin) 
“ hold on?... Yall left her ALONE  with that fucking scumbag?” lix raised his voiced stressfully running a hand through his hair as he scooted closer to the edge of the sofa, beginning to get more irritated by the conversation he and the boys were having. 
“WHOA! Hold on!” minho pointed at felix also scooting to the edge of his seat jumping quickly at the only opportunity he had to both calm felix down AND defend himself. “ it wasn't like that at all, the three of us went downstairs to get the birthday cakes out the car while y/n came upstairs because she had to use the bathroom. Alex was actually already here setting up his DJ equipment before y/n even got back!” 
“yeah thats true.. And that really only took about 10 minutes, truth be told. ” (chris) 
“and where tf was jeongin?!” (felix) 
“he and sophie had ran out to get ice” (changbin) 
“Listen, all i know is whatever happened it is NOT to be taken lightly. y/n is a tough girl and not much is going to make her cry so we WILL be getting to the bottom of this TODAY, THIS hour.” (chris) 
“ SHE CRIED!? ... oh imma kill him” felix let out a sinister almost emotionless chuckle as he slightly rocked back and forth in his seat being only seconds away from crashing out. 
“wait deadass? When??” (changbin) 
“im deadass. It was before the party started like right when the guests started arriving. I went in the kitchen just to chat with her and i noticed she was having a moment, she tried to brush me off but you know i always call her bluff.” (chris)
“and what did she say? Because Bin tried to ask what was wrong and she seemed too angry to even speak, she gave us a look but that was about it. she just poured herself a drink then went out to get some air on the balcony.”  (minho)
“ she didn't really tell me anything all she said was that she felt stupid and violated.. So ofc i told her i would handle that shit right then if she just told me what happened, but she insisted on dropping it and initially I wasn't going to but i just let it go and held her for a little bit once i saw her shed a few tears... however she did promise me that we would talk about it later and shes good for keeping a promise so ofc i trust her to do so.” (chris) 
“yeah... im ready to go to jail” Felix let out yet another emotionless chuckle. 
“okay, something definitely did happen between the two, yes. But lets just breathe and hear it from y/n first before we start collecting bail money.” ( changbin) 
“man fuck all that fr! I need answers this shit is really starting to eat at me” (felix) 
They were so caught up  in their conversation that they didnt even hear you come out the bathroom and back down the hallway. 
“So is sleep out of the question?” you spoke, making your Prescence known as they all snapped their heads in your direction. 
“entirely outta the question my love, we have quite a few things to talk about” felix responded patting the spot next to him on the sofa signaling you to sit and join the conversation.  
You hesitantly took a seat next to Felix on the sofa across from minho and chris, as changbin was sat in the loveseat to your right. Taking  a look around the room you let out a shaky sigh really not wanting to have this conversation after the hectic night you had but you knew you couldn't put it off any longer or they all would lose their fucking minds.  
“Take your time kiddo, no pressure.” Chris spoke softly sensing your body tensing up. 
“Whenever you're ready love, we trust you.” felix added holding your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles. 
“y/nnnnie dont look so upset” changbin spoke next “ you know we’re not here to scold you, you did nothing wrong we just want to protect you and know that you're safe.” 
“ we just want to know what happened is all babe.” felix pulled you into a hug and began rubbing your back to calm you down.  
“ i know i know...” you took a deep breath and let out another heavy sigh.  
“just relax a bit, I'll go make some tea.” minho spoke before getting up and walking to the kitchen.  
It took about an hour-long conversation to tell the guys what alex had did and explain everything in detail. Emotions were very high but somehow you were able to calm them all  down and convince them to let it go at least for now. Chris had kept insisting that you press charges against him but you let it be known that you genuinely didnt feel the need to because one, you were more than proud that you found the strength to defend yourself when you really needed to, plus you were almost positive that nasty smack you gave him would leave a bruising. Secondly, you knew that regardless to lix being calm in that moment, he was definitely still on hots and there would be absolutely nothing nobody could do to stop him from beating alex’s ass again the next time he saw him. So for you the score board was 3 to 1, in your head it was perfect girl math. (LMAO) and truth be told you really didn't want to get lix involved and have him end up with assault charges for beating this man's ass multiple times. You just wanted to let it go and forget it all for as long as you possibly could.  
After the conversation had died, everyone just sat in complete silence with their own thoughts for a few minutes. Tiredness, worry and deep frustration sketched over the faces of everyone in the room. Not that you didn't already know this but this moment made it so evident how much your friends and boyfriend truly, truly cared about you.  
“ughhh! That was alot..I need another blunt” Felix broke the silence with a deep sigh.  
You lifted your head off of his shoulder to get up from your spot on the sofa, reaching for your stash box sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “I’ll roll , yall can meet me on the balcony in 5” you left a kiss on the top of Felix's head before walking out to the balcony. 
A few minutes had passed before both chris and lix joined you on the balcony, while bin and minho stepped out on a breakfast run for you guys. It was a bit passed 7 a.m the sun was out and the birds were chirping. You sat in silence while the joint rotated between the 3 of you. What you would normally consider to be a beautiful morning, had actually become the one thing you were dreading the most. You tried to at least enjoy the morning breeze against your skin as you ignored the burning feeling in your chest that jeongin would be waking up pretty soon and you would then have to face yet another conversation you did NOT want to have.  
Just as you finished up your smoke session and went back inside you heard the door to your bedroom creak open with jeongins voice immediately following “hey, where's Sophie? She didn't stay?” 
“Speak of the fucking devil...” you whispered to yourself.  
“bro .. what exactly are you trying to say to me right now?!” jeongin raised his voice, you could see frustration visibly building within him.  
“jeong listen.. You really need to start seeing sophie for the person she truly is or youre gonna end up broken in the end.” you said as calmly as you could.  
“so what im supposed to breakup with her and end my relationship because you say so?!” 
“jeongin if you'd just calm down and listen to what i have to say you would understand where im coming from.”  
“well wtf are you saying y/n? Stop beating around the bush!” 
“basically me and sophie got into a fight last .. and it almost got physical.” 
“what?? y/n tell me you did not hit her?? what could have possibly happened while i was asleep for y'all to even get into it like that?!” 
“i didnt get the chance to but you can thank chris and felix for that” 
“so what youre telling me is that you get drunk and sassy then start picking fights with your friends? I swear you cant leave drunk women unattended for shit” jeongin rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair as he walked away to pick up his phone, most likely to check on his girlfriend. 
“wth? jeongin when i have i ever not been able to hold my liquor?! It was the end of the night the party was already over by that time and i had already sobered up, just shut up and listen for a moment.” 
He let out a sigh as he flopped down on the sofa with his eyes still glued to his phone “im listening” he replied with annoyance lingering in his tone of voice. 
There was a quick moment of hesitation as you shared a nervous look between chris and felix “ you know you're my best friend and i love you right?”   
Breaking his gaze from his phone, He finally looked up at you clearly super annoyed with the conversation at this point “ ...yes” he replied with a blank stare. 
“ and you know I'd never lie or do anything to hurt you right?” 
“right ... except try to beat up my girlfriend” he said in a low sarcastic tone rolling his eyes before looking at his phone again 
“it wasnt unprovoked, jeongin! theres more to that story!” 
“like i said , im listening!! But im not hearing shit?!” 
“sophie kissed me!” chris blurted out, not being able to take your stalling any longer.  
And just like, the air and the whole atmosphere of the room had entirely changed like a press of a button. His face went to stone as he stood up from the sofa with his phone tightly gripped in his hand.  
“what did you just say?” he raised his eyebrow challenging Chris in a cold tone. 
“she had been making advances and throwing herself at me from the moment you passed out in y/n’s room, i told her NO multiple times and she literally forced herself on me in the kitchen.” 
“bullshit!” he glared at Chris. 
“Lix and i walked in on it .. we literally seen it with our own eyes, jeong..” you defended Chris in the softest voice you could, really not wanting jeongin to get any angrier than he already was. 
“BULLSHIT!” he repeated, turning to scream in your direction this time. 
“YO! WATCH IT! Felix yelled back at him wasting no time to defend you. He quickly stood up in the middle of you two, reaching behind himself to grab your hand once he realized the loudness of his deep voice had startled you. 
“wtf is this some sick and twisted joke?!” 
“jeongin, mate ..we have no reason to lie to you. I know this is a lot to take in right now and its gonna be rough but Sophie is no good ... we’re your closest friends and we just want what's best for you.” chris tried to calm him even knowing that was likely not to happen. 
Jeongin said nothing, he just let out a sarcastic dry laugh as he walked away from the conversation. The apartment stood quiet waiting for him to return back to the living room. And when he did, he followed the silence, quietly flopping back down on the sofa once more to put on his sneakers.  
And that was Chris’s last straw, jeongin’s silence had sent him over the edge. “SO WHAT?? IM A LIAR NOW?.. AS  LONG AS WEVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS THIS IS HOW YOU ACT OVER A FUCKING GIRL THAT DOESNT EVEN DESERVE YOU TO BEGIN WITH!?” 
Jeongin kept his silence as he continued to take his time putting his shoes on almost as if he was ignoring Chris. 
“Well if that's what you think wait for minho and changbin to come back and ask them yourself, they were here for it was well!” 
“nah I'm good” jeongin put on a false nonchalant act.  
“so you don't believe any of us is what you're saying? Minho, bin, y/n, lix, and i are all just gonna lie on your girlfriend unprovoked??” 
“i just dont undertsand when we started ganging up on eachother instaed of talking shit out ??!” 
“IS THAT NOT WTF WERE TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW??” chris barked back. 
“ yall BEEN holding hostility against sophie, you think im fucking dumb i peeped the energy shift a WHILE ago!!” 
“ thats because sophie is a fucking werido jeong!” you jumped in to defend chris once more “Shes been doing hella weird and shady shit for a long ass time, but for the sake of YOU we tried to keep the peace and keep it under wraps! I even distanced myself from her a while ago because shes been lying on me and acting hella phony. Youre like my little brother ofc i didnt want to bring it up and end up putting you into a predicament where you had to choose between her and your friends that would be fucking ridiculous ..” 
“You think i wanna be doing this right now?! Jeongin us having to have this conversation is hurting my fucking heart because you love so blindly!! you dont even realize what this girl is doing to you!” your passionate argument had turned into screaming at this point and you were afraid that the love you held for your best friend and the action of trying to protect him had gotten lost in translation.
“i dont realize what shes doing to me?? wtf is she even doing ?!!?” he barked back at you  clearly clueless and stubborn not even putting any effort to try and understand your point of view. 
“oh my... fucking goodness ..” felix let out a loud frustrated sigh as he slouched back into the sofa. He and chris both facepalming simultaneously as you just stood there looking at him like he had four heads.. 
“dude.. She basically cheated on you! She kissed me.. ANOTHER MAN!! That man being one of your best friends and your roommate...that's literally right under your nose!! so she clearly doesn't give a fuck about you, she didnt even have the decency to do it outside of your friend group, jeongin” at this point chris knew good and well that the only reason jeongin continued to argue back was because he was embarrassed and in denial. 
He stood quiet for a few seconds just upset and breathing heavy not really having much to say to continue defending sophie (because what is there even to defend DROP THAT HOE!) 
“so what, she just left after that happened?!” jeongin spoke again attempting to argue back 
“no... I tried to take her fucking head off because why would she ever do some grimey shit like that?! But these two wouldn't let me hit her so i kicked her outta my fucking house.” you spoke with annoyance.
“ that shit dont make no fucking sense why would she try to kiss chris when we’re literally dating and everyone that was in here knows that!!” he raised his voice again 
“bingo dipshit!” felix’s frustration had began turning into sassy side remarks  
“THAT RIGHT THERE IS OUR POINT EXACTLY!!” you screamed starting to feel like you were talking to a brick wall 
“not TRY might i add .. she DID kiss me. She quite literally grabbed my face and kissed me after i told her to stop.” chris added in a sarcastic tone, he was pissed that this conversation was even still going on. 
“call her.” felix chimed in but jeongin just glared in his direction not saying anything. 
“call her right now with all of us here and ask her why she got into it with y/n last night 
He went silent once more ignoring felix entirely before getting up from the sofa to go grab his jacket and keys. 
This silence was much thicker than each one previously, and it left loud feelings of frustration and utter disbelief lingering in the air.  
“jeong, you deadass?..” you spoke again, standing frozen. All the anger in your body wholly dissipating, being replaced with the hurt that was painfully evident in your voice as it trembled slightly. 
Realizing how badly he fucked up, jeongin once again chose to stay silent and avoid your gaze. 
“Denial is a fat bitch to swallow isn't it?” felix scoffed. 
“ Fuck off, felix!” jeongin bit back as he began walking towards the front door 
“right back at ya cunt!” felix barked in a harsh tone as he flipped him the bird 
“you're mad at the wrong people idk wtf else to tell you but if you wanna choose to be stupid for this fucking girl than have fun with the outcome!” chris dusted his hands with the situation and walked away as jeongin walked in the opposite direction, storming out of the apartment slamming the door behind him  
You stood there staring at the door almost stuck in a trance. There was nothing you wanted more than for him to come back through that door or for this to just be some bad dream  but it most definitely was not.   
Slowly turning around towards felix who was already slowly making his way towards you feeling the sadness in your aura. He gently grabbed your hand immediately rubbing his thumb over the back of your kunckles in an attempt to comfort you. Your watery eyes met his apologetic ones and he could feel everything you were feeling in the that moment. He was pissed because every single thing that you were scared of happening had just come true.  
“ lix.. Please tell me i did not just lose my best friend over this bitch..” your voice was almost a whisper with a barely audible sob leaving your mouth before you could even finish your sentence. The tears began to fall at a rapid pace and there wasnt much lix could even say to comfort you. “ i knew it... i knew this shit was gonna happen!” the tears kept flowing He felt so defeated, and the only thing he could do was the one thing he does best, and that was hold you. He held you on the sofa for hours. You had cried and cried, fell asleep, woke up and cried some. Minho and changbin had come back and immediately realized exactly what had happened. Chris filled them in on all the details of how ridiculous jeongin was being and of course they were just as heated as the rest of you were. The guys had all ended-up crashing in your guest bedroom before felix had woken up and carried you to your bed so that you could rest properly. It was definitely needed after so much emotional destress on top of you being awake for 24+ hours and all the partying and drinking that had happened right before all the drama.  
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mclarengf · 2 days ago
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thinking about… trying to bake with daniel ricciardo
note: if danny ricc has a million fans, i am one of them. if danny ricc has ten fans, i am one of them. if danny ricc has only one fan, then that one fan is me. if danny ricc has no fans, then that means i am no longer on this earth. if the world is against danny ricc, then i am against the world. (happy holidays!!)
it’s christmas eve and daniel has instigated a food fight. you’re supposed to be making a pavlova to bring to his parents’ house tomorrow, but daniel’s seemingly decided that flicking meringue onto your face three times in a row is a good idea.
he looks away every time, whistling as if he’s done nothing wrong. you narrow your eyes at the back of his head, waiting for him to crack.
“what’s wrong, love?” he turns back and questions why you’ve stopped mixing the meringue batter, though his mouth twitches when he sees your expression.
this time, you stay silent, glaring at him.
finally, he laughs, eyes crinkling as he throws his head back. you wait for him to finish, crossing your arms and frowning.
daniel hiccups another laugh out and steps toward you, hands up.
“it was funny, you gotta admit,” he tries defending himself.
“i hate you sometimes,” you retort.
his face drops and he clutches his hands over his heart, “ouch, love!”
“oh, shut up, danny,” you sneer at him as you turn your attention back to the meringues, mumbling a, “cunt,” under your breath.
you can feel when he comes up behind you, warmth radiating off his body even in the summer. he wraps his arms around your shoulders, dropping his head down too.
“i love you~” he sings, trying to get back on your good side.
you say nothing.
you can practically hear him pout in your ear, disappointed in the fact that his actions have consequences.
“c’mon babe, it was just a joke! it’s christmas eve, you can’t be mad at me! i’m sorry!”
when you still don’t respond, daniel takes his arms off you and resigns himself to keep cutting up the fruit.
when he’s settled back into a rhythm of doing that, you scoop some of the mix onto your finger, reach over, and smear it onto his cheek before running to the other side of the kitchen so he can’t catch you.
“aw, you-“ he grins again, bright as anything, and lunges at you, chasing you around the island and through the living room as you giggle.
he finally tackles you into the couch. the smudge is still on his cheek.
“you’re silly,” you scrunch your nose up at him as you catch your breath.
daniel just smiles, admiring you beneath him.
“i love you,” he tries again.
“i love you too, dummy.”
he then collapses on top of you, holding you tight in his embrace. it’s nice; it’s like a weighted blanket which walks and talks and happens to be very annoying sometimes. you melt into his arms, and reach around to hug him back.
daniel’s always been your safe space, and you’re able to be that for him too now, with him being home a lot more than he had been in september, for some strange reason.
you don’t want to let his mind drift back to his career predicament with too much silence, though, so you nudge him and tell him to clean off his cheek.
instead of grabbing a washcloth, or a paper towel, or something sensible, daniel just runs his finger through the meringue and sticks it in his mouth.
you make a face at him, expressing your disgust. you can see the bits he’s missed still sticking to his skin.
“that tastes so good, baby. it’s gonna bang tomorrow night.” he looks at you in awe of your baking skills before dropping back down onto your shoulder. he’s obviously content with staying like this.
fine, you can cuddle for a while, you guess. the pavlova’s not going anywhere.
wait- the pavlova.
“fuck, danny, the meringue’s gonna go flat!”
you scramble off the couch and back to the kitchen so you don’t ruin joe and grace’s christmas.
when daniel comments on how the pavlova looks kind of funny at dinner the next night, you just kick him under the table and say he must be imagining things.
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lisired · 15 hours ago
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love jones
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pairing: photographer!haechan x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, strangers to lovers, hollywood!au, photographer!haechan, model!reader, unprotected sex (don't be silly wr- [gets hit by a car])
summary: After breaking off your engagement to your fiance, you move to Los Angeles to pursue a modeling career. There in the fairytale land where stars go to shine you meet Haechan, an aspiring photographer with a penchant for mischief and flirtation.
word count: 13.1k (/25.5k)
a/n: inspired by love jones; the song by leon thomas featuring ty dolla $ign and the movie by theodore witcher. this is the second/last installment of a repost; it is also the prequel to supermodel, which you do not have to read. installment one can be found here. as always, feedback is appreciated!
When you completed all of your errands, you had the taxi drop you off at Haechan’s place and bid Chaewon goodbye. According to your new beau, he should have been there waiting for you. Plus you saw his sleek, black motorbike parked out front. No doubt he was somewhere inside. 
You took a couple of deep breaths before ringing his doorbell.
Haechan was quick to announce he was on the way, and the sound of his voice on the opposite end of the door tempted your lips into a smile. He opened it with hastiness, flashing his teeth when he saw you. “Hi, baby. Come on in.”
You matched his radiant smile and stepped inside, letting him lock the door behind you. Meanwhile, Haechan was subtly checking you out. You were dolled up, compared to this morning. How you were so beautiful at both your morning glory and when you dressed up was something he would never comprehend. 
To say nothing of himself. You loved the image of his naked back that was permanently etched behind your eyelids, but your mouth also watered at the sight of him in his signature ripped jeans and leather jacket.
“This way,” Haechan said, shaking the thought of you out of his head.
You followed him upstairs, briefly scanning his place. Not a speck of dirt anywhere. Either he was very tidy or he was definitely trying to be impressive. 
Within a couple of seconds, you were led through a doorway that was obviously the entrance to his bedroom. You took a little scan. He had posters for days, to say nothing of the vinyls mounted on his wall. There was a shelf full of photo albums just shy of his desk and you were curious to look through them.
“Not bad,” you told him after realizing you’d been silently gazing about. 
“Thanks,” Haechan replied, removing one of his Michael Jackson vinyls from the wall with extreme caution. 
You watched him retrieve it with a respectable amount of vigilance and hand it to you. Though you were way too glad to finally have it in your hands, you couldn’t shake the thought that something wasn’t right, even though you’d earned it fair and square. 
You met his eyes. “Why are you giving me this?”
Haechan arched his brow, surprised, but whispered, “Because I told you I would give it to you if you went on a date with me and I’m a man of my word.”
You shook your head. That couldn’t be all. “Yeah, but there’s no way you wanted to go out with a girl you barely know so bad you were willing to trade a signed Michael Jackson vinyl. These don’t come a dime a dozen.”
Haechan didn’t miss a beat. “Neither do girls like you.”
Your heart was doing somersaults and you didn’t appreciate the effect he had on you. Too much too soon. You could think of approximately a million reasons why this was a terrible idea, but the good outweighed the bad somewhere. 
A smile gracing your lips, you opted to reply, “Well, in that case, thank you, handsome.”
Handsome. That was a first. Usually, you’d just roll your eyes. 
“Glad to be of service,” Haechan chirped. 
With a chortle, you shifted your attention to his desk. There was a camera sitting there and you picked it up in favor of momentarily forgetting the signed vinyl you’d been gifted. Haechan watched you with curious eyes, wondering what in the hell you were doing. 
Rather than linger on the thought, Haechan began to strike some silly poses that were guaranteed to send you into a fit of giggles. He was terribly good at making you laugh and it made you sick.
Then, a mischievous thought struck you. “Take off your clothes.”
Haechan was baffled. “What?”
“Take off your clothes.”
Haechan laughed incredulously. Then, he realized you were serious, watching him expectantly. 
His hesitation made you roll your eyes. “I’ve already seen everything. You weren’t shy about showing off last night.”
That was true. You had literally sucked his dick and given him the most mind-numbing blowjob of his lifetime. More than once. So, he gave in, putting on his model face while he unzipped his leather jacket in no hurry. As if he was giving a strip tease. 
While he was shredding the layers of his clothes, you were snapping photo after photo, heat stirring in your thighs the closer he came to nakedness. He was a little too sexy for your liking. It wasn’t good for your health. 
Now in nothing but his boxers as he threw his tee over his head, Haechan decided you’d had your fun and called it quits. “Okay, that’s enough of the camera.”
You frowned, though set the camera down respectfully. “Why - you don’t trust me?”
For whatever reason, Haechan didn’t answer you verbally, instead opting to sit at his desk and gesturing for you to approach him with his fingers. Of course, you came to him obediently, straddling his lap as if he were a motorbike. With how bare he was, it wasn’t difficult to feel your warmth on his body and it drove Haechan absolutely mad. You had no business being this fine. Cute, too. You made his head spin. 
“You are the most dazzling thing I’ve ever seen,” Haechan whispered darkly under his breath. “Shouldn’t I be taking pictures of you and not the other way around?”
Leaning into his ear, you purred, “You can take all the pictures you want of me.”
Your true intentions were too obvious and Haechan chuckled a little, because he knew exactly what you meant by that. Out of nowhere, he swallowed your lips in a heated kiss, hands flying to your blouse while you both made out. You could feel the room heating up with every second, degree by degree. Haechan was like fire to the touch, your palm flat on his naked chest. Your little pants were making his dick stiffen in his boxers and you could feel it calling your name.
Not a minute later, you were just as naked as Haechan, sitting on his desk with your legs thrown open and his head between your thighs. You grinded into his mouth, muscles flexing with want. Fuck, you were jonesing for him. 
Haechan brought you to tears of climax over and over again for no other reason than him being downright smitten with you and it was maddening. You screamed more than once. Like you wanted the whole world to give him his flowers. Fuck, he could eat pussy. A little too good. I will never get used to this. 
Months went by at the speed of light. The more you hung out with Haechan, the more you became smitten. A part of you thought this would be a one-and-done situation, but you and your new beau were joined at the hip and displayed no signs of wanting to be unjointed. 
Every now and then, he would invite you to get-togethers with his clique too. Sometimes Chaewon would tag along, more than mingling with Mark. The eight of you combined were a vivid splash of personalities, but for the most part, you’d locked eyes on Haechan. 
He started taking you on actual dates. You went to bury your feet in the sand at beaches or meander along boardwalks. You had informal photoshoots, mainly where you were his muse, or took pictures of the blazing city. You hooked up in between but never took the next step of penetration, like you were saving it for a special moment. 
Haechan liked snapping photos of you on your dates and by now he was probably due for another photo album. There were so many memories being made that it made your head spin. Pictures of you painted in frosting. Of you embarrassedly walking back to your seat after not striking a single bowling pin. Every now and then you snuck an off-guard photo of Haechan when he wasn’t looking. 
There was a knock at your door. You paused dead in your tracks, surprised, because you weren’t expecting anyone. Your brain immediately wondered if it was Haechan there to take you on an impromptu date, and, giddy with excitement, you sprung up to answer the door. 
Your smile dropped when you saw who was there. “Jaehyun,” you greeted forbiddingly. 
Jaehyun stood there holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. “Hey, baby.”
Now your mood was officially spoiled and you were exasperated. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Shh, baby. Listen, I just want to talk,” Jaehyun said, flashing a smile. “I just want to talk.” 
“We have nothing to talk about together,” you hissed, shutting the door, but Jaehyun stopped it with his foot. 
Jaehyun grabbed the doorknob and met your gaze with those honey brown eyes you’d fallen for once upon a time. And they served as the perfect distraction from his lips. No wonder you never noticed that his lips didn’t tell the truth. “Baby, please,” he said. “Give me five minutes.”
You gave him a look, crossing your arms. “Five minutes.”
“I swear.”
After a couple of seconds of mulling it over, you made what was regrettably the largest mistake of your life. You sighed and let him come inside. 
Jaehyun grinned triumphantly and set the bouquet on your table, shutting the door behind himself. You had no idea how he found you and you were somewhat terrified of asking. 
Before he could open his mouth, you pointed your fingers at him and declared, “Listen to me, if you’re trying to win me back, I’m insulted that you think I’m as easy as some fucking flowers.”
“I don’t think you’re easy, babe,” Jaehyun whispered in his velvety voice. “You’re hard and I love that about you.”
You rolled your eyes and barked irritably, “I’m hard and you couldn’t handle that, so you went and stuck your penis in some easy whore.”
When you stood and walked into the kitchen, Jaehyun followed behind you desperately. “Oh, c’mon. Look, baby, I know I fucked up and I’m sorry. It was a mistake. I just...”
Arms folded, you watched him expectantly, gesturing for him to continue. 
“Shit. You know that I’m not good with words,” Jaehyun sighed, pulling something out of the inside of his suit. “Look.”
You narrowed your eyes. “And what is that?”
“It’s a boarding pass. I want you to come back to New York with me so that we can be together.”
“You had all of that and more, and you didn’t know what to do with it, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun was persistent. “Well, I want it again.”
You shook your head, maddened. You couldn’t believe him. You snapped, “I don’t understand why you think you can just waltz on up in here trying to woo me with flowers and shit and whisk me away to New York. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Jaehyun - mine sure as hell doesn’t anymore. That’s your problem, you know. You think everything is about you!”
Your ex-fiancé groaned, “What - are you seeing somebody else? Did you find a job?”
“Your five minutes are up,” you snarled, glancing at your wrist. 
“Well, I have to go anyway. I’m meeting my mother for lunch,” Jaehyun said, setting the boarding pass down on your table. 
“Tell I her I said, ‘Hello.’”
Jaehyun nodded, fixed on you. You didn’t meet his stare, too busy feigning indifference, but you could feel him burning holes through your body. He tapped the counter. “Think about it.”
“Leave, Jaehyun.”
Your ex heaved a breath, then begrudgingly walked outside your front door. 
On Saturday, Haechan came over to help you set up your album shelf because he’d sweetly volunteered a couple of days ago. Which was very kind of him. Truth be told, you knew nothing about putting pieces together and reading manuals made your poor brain hurt.  
For about half an hour you both were hard at work, constructing and organizing while sparing time for kisses and giggles in between. When it was finally done, you couldn’t believe your eyes. The vinyls were arranged specifically in the order you wanted them to be without a single one missing. 
A tear slipped down your cheek and you turned away from Haechan to hide yourself. Still, Haechan noticed immediately and swung his arms open for you. “Hey, come here.”
You crept into his arms without a second thought, letting him cradle you there. Though you wanted to chide yourself for tearing up in front of him, his arms felt like a safe place. Where you belonged. 
“Thank you,” you whispered to him, drying your eyes with the back of your hand. 
“What for? This is all you, baby. It takes a lot of commitment to do something like this. I respect the hell out of your dedication.”
You chuckled and slipped away, sitting at your bed, but pat the spot beside you. Haechan took the invite and crashed at your side, lowering his head into your lap and staring into your eyes. You threaded your fingers through his hair, just meeting his stare and matching his affection. 
Then, Haechan asked the dreaded question, “What made you want to start a record collection anyways?”
That made you stiffen. Haechan instantly noticed something was off and parted his lips to apologize, but you were quicker. “I didn’t start it. It was my grandfather’s.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Leukemia.”
“Shit. My bad,” Haechan apologized. 
You brushed him off, though there were a lot of emotions stirring inside your chest as you spoke. “It’s fine. It was years ago. He had a whole list of vinyls he specifically wanted. I’m just finishing what he started.”
In spite of your attempts to be nonchalant, Haechan could tell you were heavily affected by your grandfather’s passing. “That’s really sweet,” he told you sincerely. “I know he’s really proud of you.”
I hope so, you thought to yourself, wistful. “Yeah. Enough about me, though. What’s the deal with you and motorcycles?”
Haechan started laughing, probably at good memories, because you knew the feeling. It was your only option when it came to outweighing all the negative feelings. “My mom is a photographer and my dad is a reformed biker. She always got these cool shots of him on his bike. Growing up peeking at them through the garage door, I think it was just kinda natural I developed a passion for both.”
“Sounds like a happy family.” No envy was present in your tone, just genuine curiosity. 
Haechan bobbed his head, then leapt up to grab his photo album and crossed his legs. “These are a couple of the shots my mom took of my dad.”
You watched him flip the pages, photos of him as a boy flickering past until he stopped at the pictures of his dad on his motorbike taken by Mrs. Lee. Many of them were taken in different settings, but the most eye-catching of them all was the one of his dad in the city, helmet catching in the neon lights. 
It was like you were instantly enamored. The shots were beautiful. His mother had a great eye and you could clearly see who he got it from. 
“Wow. These are one of a kind,” you gasped. 
Haechan bobbed his head. “Yeah. You should meet them. I think they’d like you.”
Your heart started beating so fast you nearly had a heart attack. “You sure don’t waste any time.”
“I mean, not right this second,” he added, realizing he was moving at a quick speed. “I was just suggesting it for some time in the future.”
Meet his parents, huh? That meant he must’ve really planned on sticking around.
Rather than reply, you acknowledged his response with a pat and grabbed his photobook, carefully dropping it on your desk. You reached for his shoulders and straddled him, brushing your lips against his ears before asking, “How many hearts have you broken?”
“One,” Haechan replied, planting one hand at your waist and steering the other to your ass.
“Honesty.” That surprised you a little. Though Haechan had been nothing but honest with you. 
Haechan shook his head. He was tempted to kiss you, but he would settle for feeling your warmth on his lap. For now, at least. “It wasn’t like that,” he said. “I broke her heart, she broke mine. We’re even.”
You weren’t jealous, but your curiosity got the best of you. “Do you still talk?”
Haechan immediately snorted. As if. “Nope.”
“Hm.” You were looking at his dumb handsome face, wanting to kiss him, but wanting to be stronger. 
You had Haechan’s undivided attention, because he was studying you, hands rubbing you up and down. Your breath picked up in speed the longer he continued and he fought a stupid smile. “Have you ever been bad for someone and they were bad for you?”
With a frown, you gave him a nod. That hit a little too close to home. “Mutually bad? Yeah. Been there. Done that.”
Haechan was sobering, getting a little vulnerable with you for once. “It’s true, what they say. Two wrongs don’t make a right. That’s why it didn’t work out. Both trying to make something right while both being wrong as hell. We took turns being at fault.”
“Sounds toxic,” you replied with a grimace.
“You don’t know the half of it,” he said, snickering. “What about you - bad history?”
You shifted a little. It was a reminder that you had spoken nothing of Jaehyun to Haechan. Why would you anyways? He was history. Thanks to all those months with Haechan, you’d forgotten all about Jaehyun until he randomly entered your life again. Never in a million years did you once imagine you’d go so long without your ex-fiancé back then, but Haechan made you forget. 
The feeling of Haechan’s body warmth gave you a little push. Playing nonchalant, you replied totally deadpan, “Oh, you know. Nothing crazy. He was sweet in the beginning and talked about getting married and having kids. Then, we started arguing, but he would always make up for it and I would forget. Then I found him balls deep in another girl.”
Haechan winced. “Damn.” He pointed over to your desk. “That ring from your mystery lover?”
You quickly frowned. For whatever reason, Jaehyun never demanded it back, and you didn’t know what to do with it. Though Chaewon had been very adamant you throw it off a mountain never to be seen again. You cloaked your melancholy with humor, “Nothing gets past you.”
“So, you were engaged.”
“Not when you hit on me,” you said, knowing immediately what he was referring to. That night at the bar. You almost laughed. Oh, how the tables turn. “So I guess you were right about my vibes.”
Haechan chuckled, but he was a little in his head now. Your engagement had to be recent, he realized. It made a lot of sense.
Temporarily discarding those thoughts, Haechan reached for his camera with his hand coiled around your waist, making you furrow your brows at him. “What are you doing now?”
He pointed it at you. “For the photobook. One more before it’s full.”
“Should I pose?” 
“Just be sexy.”
You scoffed, “I’m always sexy.”
“Exactly, baby,” Haechan replied, back hitting the mattress while your legs were still draped over either side of him. 
When Haechan pointed his camera at you, you smiled for the picture. It printed out the polaroid immediately, which Haechan took and handed to you for approval. You looked it over and beamed with acceptance. Your smile was different there. Not one of those forced model smiles. It was like you were smiling at Haechan rather than the camera.
“Your photo album is complete,” you announced, leaning over to kiss his neck. 
Haechan quickly tossed everything to the side in favor of clasping your hips in his hands again, because it felt natural to hold them. Your breath tickled his neck, not to mention your lips on his throat.
He grinned wildly and whispered, “Thanks for being the finishing piece.”
You giggled and finally kissed his lips, having exhausted all of your self-restraint. Haechan kissed you back just as feverishly, as if you’d both been waiting for each other to snap but didn’t want to forfeit. 
First it was just harmless kissing and touching, until your bodies became restless. Haechan tested the waters, so to speak, nimble fingers unbuttoning your blouse until it fell. He made short work of your bra, unclasping it and tossing it aside. 
You were exposed to him, though he’d already seen everything you had to offer. Many, many times. But there was something different about the way he looked into your eyes and how your heart raced when his fingers brushed against you.
Haechan kneaded your breasts, resulting in you having to suck in your breath. Your soft sounds made his dick twitch in his pants. He could feel that the air was thicker too, the two of you suffocating beneath the weight of your own desire. 
You’d had enough of being teased by him and pulled his lips back onto yours by his collar, throwing his shirt above his head all the while. All you wanted to do was kiss and taste him. And maybe fuck him.
Scratch that. You definitely wanted to fuck him and your body wanted him even more. “Haechan,” you grumbled, clawing at his jeans. “Take it off.”
There would be no need to tell him twice. Haechan gently steered you off of his lap and sat up to remove his jeans, leaving him in his boxers, but you were quick to take care of that situation. You didn’t waste any time freeing his hard cock from his boxers, much to his amusement.
“I want you,” you told him, finding his eyes with a fixed stare. “Inside.”
Well, that left no room for misunderstanding. Haechan’s brain shut down at the thought of being inside of you, though he played it cool. “How do you want me?”
Bringing your hand under your skirt, you tugged your panties past your ankles and threw your legs open, smiling coyly. “Come and get me.”
Haechan growled, “Woman, you drive me crazy.”
You giggled, but the noise faded out when Haechan crawled over you, kissing you again. Neither of you could stand to be apart from each other for three seconds. All you wanted was to feel him so deep inside you that he could never leave.
Haechan realized something and pulled back with a groan. “I don’t have a condom.”
You arched a brow, stifling a laugh. It was very unlike him. You’d seen the inside of Haechan’s wallet more than once and he kept a condom, though he hadn’t brought it with him. Probably because he wasn’t expecting to need anything. “I have an IUD,” you said. 
The realization on Haechan’s face was laughable. “You mean?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck, you really want me to…”
“Yes, Haechan,” you repeated with a groan. “I’m not about to beg you to cum inside me.”
“Maybe you should,” Haechan suggested, the grin back on his plush lips. 
You rolled your eyes. Then, a thought struck you, and you half-joked, “You’re not a bastard that’s stuck your dick inside half the girls in the city, right?”
“If you wanted to know my body count, all you had to do was ask,” Haechan retorted.
“You haven’t asked about my body count.”
Haechan kissed the corner of your lips and told you frankly, “Baby, I couldn’t give less of a damn what your body count is.”
Well, that was good to know. There were a couple of guys you’d been with that would freak out if they knew you’d hooked up with more than a couple of boys. 
“Unless you’re a serial killer,” Haechan added lightheartedly. 
You were caught off guard and snickered, corners of your lips upturned. No matter the time, Haechan could be counted on to make you laugh. “I’m not a serial killer.”
“Good.”
You peered up at him and joked, “Promise not to give me chlamydia?”
Haechan snorted. “You’d be the first girl I’ve hit raw.”
You believed him, but it surprised you when Haechan held out his pinky. You rolled your eyes, prompting a laugh out of him, but intertwined your pinky with his. It was kinda cute. 
The mood completely shifted from that moment on. His dick lined up at your entrance, the tip teasing your hole. All you wanted was to feel every inch of him buried inside of you. He was slow and steady, taking his time to fill you, inch by fucking inch. 
Some noises left each of you when you’d swallowed his length whole and he slinked down against your velvet walls. His hands left your waist in favor of your hands and he slipped his fingers through yours affectionately, squeezing them as he wondered why you hadn’t done this sooner. 
The same thought was heavy on your mind, though you had no regrets. Neither did Haechan. For whatever reason, it felt a billion times more special now compared to if you would have hooked up earlier. 
It felt like you were making love.
“Haechan,” you cried out, all the heat in your body gathering at your core. It felt like he was stretching you open. 
“I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I promise,” Haechan sighed, eyes fluttering closed. “Shit, baby. You’re so damn perfect.”
Haechan was so deep that you could feel him in the pit of your stomach, keeping the butterflies that had made a home out of your gut company. You felt at ease with your hand in his and his warmth enveloping you from head to toe. 
It was over when Haechan started to set that steady, comfortable pace. It wasn’t too slow, but he thankfully wasn’t jack-hammering you either. The rhythm was just right. He glanced down at you, a weight on his eyelids, and asked sweetly, “Is this okay?”
“It’s perfect,” you whispered, lips twitching into a smile. You grabbed his face and smashed your lips against his, desperate to feel him everywhere. You could taste yourself on his tongue and inexplicably, it made you feel a different breed of insatiable. 
Haechan kissed you back even harder in between grunts and curses, typically followed by your name more often than they were not. You were making him dizzy. You were making him entirely dependent on you, as if there was no him without you in his arms. 
Sweat stuck to your skin, little beads of moisture dripping down your back and breasts in numbers. Your whole body was alive, craving him like no other. Your thighs tensed, heat spasming in your palms. Your hips moved to their own accord, trying to match Haechan’s thrusts because you wanted to feel the euphoria to the max. All the pleasure turned you into a madwoman.
Haechan pulled back, the heat of you reworking the wires in his brain, and asked, “Do you mind if I take pictures of you?”
The question did a little more than catch you off-guard, though the more you mulled it over, the more your thighs tightened with want and arousal. You were entertained by the idea, that was for sure. It was like nothing you had over done before, in spite of the fact that you modeled for a living. Maybe it was the heat getting to your head, but you were inclined to agree. 
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Haechan said, noticing your hesitation. 
You shook your head, grinning at him with tiny little stars in your eyes. “I want to.”
Haechan’s lips twisted into a beaming smile of their own and he plucked the camera from wherever he had tossed it to, pointing at you once more. Rather than getting a shot of your face, he was snapping photos of your heaving chest. 
Then, it was your stomach, the print of his dick visible against your tummy. Followed by your neck and collarbone, decorated by the necklace he’d gotten you a couple of weeks in advance.
“You’re so beautiful,” Haechan hissed, lowering his head to kiss your breasts. You sighed softly at the feeling, content. 
Your breath caught in your throat when he handed you back the polaroids for self-approval, pussy tightening around his stiff dick. Which he couldn’t help but notice and grinned slyly. 
You tapped his forearm and asked, “Can I see the camera?”
“Sure,” Haechan said, handing it to you. 
You knew maybe a thing or two about how to work a camera, courtesy of your industry, and navigated to the self-timer without any need for his assistance. Then, you sat it down, and pulled his lips onto yours by his hair again. 
As if he hadn’t already known, that single-handedly confirmed that you were the one.
You were getting closer by the minute. All of the kissing, touching and sucking (and photo-snapping) was making short work of the both of you. Haechan had internally worried about busting too quick when you permitted him to go bareback, but you weren’t far behind. 
All of it was making you mad with lust. The heat and the sounds and the pressure. Your whole body was overloaded, writhing with pleasure. 
Haechan was whispering sweet praises in your ear partially to get you off just in case, because he was going to unravel any moment now. His finger thumbed your clit, and with just a look at your face tense with bliss, he was getting closer. 
“I’m gonna… Haechan, fuck,” you moaned, barely coherent. It was hard to speak with him strumming you to climax, and the weight of him on top of you. It was game over. 
You’d come to notice the signs of Haechan’s impending orgasm and they were all staring you down right now, so when he let out that final, high-pitched moan of your name preceded by a string of curses, it wasn’t even somewhat shocking when you felt his fingers find yours and tighten around them again, his release painting your walls. 
That was all it took to break you, his hot cum spilling inside the tightness of your cunt. It was a wordless orgasm, but an intense one, looking into his eyes with all the pleasure and wanting in the world as you shuddered with climax. 
For a long minute, the two of you just took a while to gather your bearings. Then, you took one look at each other, and burst into a fit of giggles. Your heart was taut with something bittersweet. 
A couple of hours (and rounds) later, Haechan was still at your house. You both took a long, hot shower together with the excuse of saving water and walked back inside your room. 
You sat on your chair while Haechan took the bed, just staring at each other for a minute. “I’ve really been having a good time these past couple of months.”
“Glad to be of service,” Haechan chirped, a bottle of beer in hand. 
You chuckled. 
Haechan could feel a shift in the air and it was somewhat unnerving. He asked, “Why do I get the feeling that there’s about to be a really strong but here?”
Your laughter turned nervous. Which was noticed. After a while, Haechan started to pick up even the slightest of changes with you. That was what he did. “I’m, um, going to NYC next week for a little bit.”
And there it was. “Oh, yeah?” Haechan hummed, nonchalant. “For how long?”
“Just a couple of weeks, I think. I don’t know. Probably just a couple of weeks, if not less,” you said, avoiding eye contact. 
“Well, what’s going on in New York?”
“I’m just…,” you trailed off, fighting the nerves in your gut. “I’m just poking around, you know? Looking for some gigs. And I also have some… unfinished business to take care of.”
Your response was vague as ever, which told Haechan everything that he needed to know. “Your ex.”
You frowned. Haechan was many, many things, but he wasn’t an idiot. There was no way that you could play him for a fool. “Haechan, the only reason I’m telling you this is because I really care about you, and I’m not trying to hurt you.”
There was a moment spent in silence as Haechan processed your words. “Well, I appreciate your honesty,” he said after a moment. “But aren’t we just kickin’ it?”
Your eyes flickered. “So, you’re not mad?”
“Pfft. Hell no,” Haechan said, feigning indifference very skillfully. “I’m not your man. I don’t have a ring on your finger or anything like that. Go on to New York and do whatever you gotta do. I mean, we’re just friends, right?”
“Right,” you mumbled, but there was something dark lingering in your chest. “Well, I’d like for you to meet me at the airport next week, if you want. Kiss me goodbye maybe.”
Haechan chuckled lightly. “Is it goodbye or see you later?”
“See you later,” you replied sheepishly. “I’ll call you when I’m back.”
“I’ll stay by my phone.”
You smiled thinly.
Then, the night came for you to fly to New York. 
“Because if he knew what he was doing, what the hell am I doing in the picture then?”
Jaemin nodded. “Riddle me that.”
Haechan continued, “Why am I hitting it?”
Jaemin acknowledged Haechan with a raise of his drink. 
Lifting his own drink, Haechan scoffed. He’d been in out of his head and was realizing that he might have been a fool for you. He was conflicted. First of all, you’d started acting a little distant a couple of weeks before when up until then, things had been sailing smoothly. 
He figured you were stressed from work and didn’t press you about anything, until the other night revealed your true feelings. You were going back to the man who’d disrespected you and your relationship and he couldn’t understand why.
But it wasn’t for him to understand, so he was going to pretend as if he didn’t care about you. If you wanted to run off to New York City and get fucked over by a dickhead again, that was your decision. Why the fuck should I care? He grumbled to himself. 
On the one hand, he’d made countless memories with you all in the span of two months and thoughts of a future with you were like a whirlwind in his mind. He thought you felt the same, but on the other hand, he realized he was nothing but a pit-stop along the way. Like he was in the backseat of the joy ride and none of it mattered because it was harmless fun. 
“Let me tell you the real deal,” Haechan began, settling down his drink. “The real deal is I don’t think she can handle it.”
Jaemin chuckled. 
Haechan threw his head back. “Jaem, I put it on her. Boom.”
“And now she’s gone.”
“Now she’s fucking gone.”
“I feel you, man,” Jaemin said, dispatching messages from his girlfriend before turning his phone screen-side down. “But wait a minute. I thought you two were just… you know, um… kickin’ it.”
“That’s not the point, Jaemin,” Haechan groaned, running his fingers through his hair. 
“So, what’s the point, my friend?”
Haechan bristled. “I’ll tell you the point. Have you been listening? I’m gonna tell you the point. Matter of fact, I’m gonna feed you the point. The point is…”
Jaemin cocked his head, glancing at Haechan expectantly with a wry smile on his face. 
“Man, fuck this, that’s the point,” Haechan barked irritably. “I’m gonna find me a fine ass woman and we’re gonna have some fine ass sex on this fine ass night.”
Jaemin retorted, “You’re gonna wake up with a fine ass hangover and get a fine ass ass-whooping.”
“Whatever, man. You should get laid, too. Tell Winter I said what’s up,” was all Haechan said before marching over to the bar. 
He got another drink and sat there for a while, completely in his thoughts. Most of them about you, obviously. No matter what, he couldn’t get you out of his head. He’d obviously fallen hard in spite of whatever bullshit he fed his friends, because you were all he could think about. 
Distractions, distractions, I need a fucking distraction, Haechan hissed to himself. Then, he turned around, and briefly made eye contact with a woman who’d been fucking him with her eyes. 
If you wanted to play, Haechan was down for the game. And he had plenty. 
All the while, you were across town. Walking around the airport, you were nothing short of antsy. For good reason. 
Are you coming? 
Sent two hours ago. There was no telling if Haechan had seen the message, considering his read receipts were off. Maybe he was just ignoring you. That could have been it. He told you he’d let you know if he could make it tonight or not, but the last time you heard from him was the night you’d dropped the news. 
An instagram notification popped on your phone and you accidentally clicked it, being taken to Jaemin’s story. And you frowned when you saw a picture of him and the boys - all of them - out drinking. 
Then, your flight was called, and rather than wallow in all of the bad feelings, you sucked it up and got on that plane. 
Days passed. Nothing from Haechan. All coming back to New York did was remind you why you left in the first place. First of all, Jaehyun was adamant that you didn’t pursue any of the gigs you’d come there for. Something about him being a provider and some other bullshit you weren’t exactly keen on hearing. 
When you instead ventured around the city, meeting up with some old friends and the like, it only made things worse. You walked by all the places Jaehyun used to visit with you once upon a time, before each of your worlds clashed and you realized it wouldn’t work. 
Maybe a couple of months ago, it would have made you sad. Now, you just wanted to get the fuck out of here. You felt like you were wallowing in memories you had no intention of ever bringing up again. This just wasn’t your home anymore. 
Sharing a bed with your ex-fiancé at night didn’t help, because all you did was dream of zipping through Los Angeles at night on the back of Haechan’s motorbike. You imagined speed and restlessness. You could feel the wind whipping through your hair and his hands on your waist. 
“I’m home,” you grumbled one day, kicking off your shoes at the front door. 
Nothing. Much to your surprise, Jaehyun didn’t say a word. Almost like he wasn’t even there. Which was strange, because his car was parked out front and according to his schedule, he should have been back by now. 
You were getting flashbacks. Being home earlier than expected, slipping inside the house unheard like a thief in the night. He had the audacity to have you sleep in the same bed he’d probably fucked countless other girls in. 
Fighting off the thought, you heard a noise in the kitchen and followed the sound. Jaehyun was looking through the cabinet, seemingly not noticing your presence until you tapped on the counter and greeted, “Hey.”
“Hey,” Jaehyun repeated, then pointed to the cabinet. “Where are my Frosted Flakes?”
“Oh, I finished the box this morning.”
Jaehyun groaned, “Oh, you couldn’t just eat the damn Cinnamon Toast Crunch?”
“Oh, brother.” You rolled your eyes, setting your purse down on the counter. 
Jaehyun was bristling. “Look, I’m sorry I had a bad day today.”
“Well, I had a bad day, too,” you retorted, taking off your coat. 
“So, you wanna tell me about it?”
“No,” you hissed, hanging your coat on the coat rack in the living room.
“Baby,” Jaehyun called out behind you, following you to the couch. “I hate to see you, you know…”
“Wasting my time,” you interrupted.
Jaehyun gave you a little nudge, fixing you a stare. “You know that’s not what I meant. All I’m saying is that I can provide for the both of us. I don’t want you to deal with…”
“Getting a job?”
“Rejection,” Jaehyun hissed. “And stop finishing my sentences.”
You laughed humorlessly, turning away, and blew out a sigh. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”
“What?”
You raised your voice, “I don’t even know why I’m here.”
“No, I heard you,” Jaehyun said, clearly upset now. Again. “After all these years together, you don’t know why you’re here?”
Now, you were getting irritated. Because this was how it always went. You looked him in the eyes again and exclaimed, “No, I don’t, Jaehyun. And you wanna know why? Because even after all these years together, we still don’t know how to make this work, and it never fucking will.”
Jaehyun couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth. Rather than try to hash things out with you, he stood up and said, “I’m going out for some fucking Frosted Flakes. You’ve lost it.”
Then, he left. Like he always did. 
You heaved a breath, irritated. All these years, he said. All those years wasted. All those years that you could have spent on something worthwhile and yet he’d stolen time from you. You just couldn’t put up with this bullshit anymore. 
That night, you slipped your engagement ring on his pinky finger and crept outside of the bedroom to dial a number. 
“Hey, I know it’s late, but can I stay the night? I need to book a flight.”
As soon as the next day, you were back. Again in the Los Angeles air, you felt like you could breathe again. That suffocating feeling that you got after Jaehyun popped up in your life out of nowhere completely dissipated. It felt more like those two months of relentless happiness you’d felt prior to his unannounced appearance. 
Months of happiness thanks to Haechan. Something about the thought of him made butterflies flitter about in your belly, but an acute pain spread throughout your chest like wildfire. You hadn’t called him like you said you would. And you didn’t really know why. 
You just couldn’t stop thinking about that night and how he wasn’t there. You didn’t see his message until after you got off the plane, a thoughtless response. Couldn’t get out of plans. Sorry. Ttyl. 
You faced reality and accepted that it wasn’t that he couldn’t be there. He just didn’t want to be. 
And then the unthinkable happened. Sitting in the corner of the cafe sketching, you glanced up when you heard the jingle of the bells announcing that somebody had walked in. You didn’t notice whoever walked inside, your eyes fixed out the window you’d accidentally brought your attention towards. 
All you could feel was a burning when you saw Haechan holding hands with some girl that was leaning against him, hanging on his every word. You didn’t even realize you were on the verge of breaking your pen until a friend you’d been there to meet tapped your shoulder, cocking you a worried look. 
It was a full-blown war. 
Not many days later, you were in the park, snapping pictures of the scenery. If Haechan wasn’t there to take you out on dates, you would take your damn self. Like hell you needed him to do anything. 
Then, you heard somebody call out your name, and spun around. “Oh, hey, Jeno.”
Jeno dug his hands into his sweatpants pockets, shooting you a grin. “Whatcha doing?”
“These are flowers. This is a camera. I’m photographing the flowers,” you deadpanned, obviously not in the best mood. Then again, that was just your usual bitchy attitude. 
“Ah.” Jeno crept closer, eyes giving you a quick scan. Not too close, but not too distant. “You like savoring the beautiful things in life?”
You snorted. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
When you least expected the action, Jeno gently took the camera out of your hands, earning a half baffled and half curious glance from your part. You hid your face when he pointed the camera at you. 
Your voice was muffled. “Jeno, what are you doing?”
“Savoring the beautiful things in life,” Jeno replied smoothly, just giving you that angelic smile of his as he continued to snap photos of you. 
Jeno pulled your hands away from your face and brushed a stray hair out of the way, looking at you with the gentlest touch but the least subtle eyes. “You are incredibly gorgeous,” he purred in the deepest tone.
Though you were tempted to roll your eyes, you had a moment of realization. There was a flash of rage that shot through your body like lightning. All you could see was those memories of Haechan’s endless flirtation playing back in your mind and it made you bristle. 
Rather than beat him, you joined Jeno, lashes fluttering. “You think so?”
“My eyes never deceive me,” Jeno said, looking you up and down with obvious want. 
“What about Haechan?”
Jeno seemed almost irritated at the mention of his friend’s name, gently pulling you just a bit closer to him. “He might have found you, but where I’m from, we play for keeps.”
You met his bold stare. “And you wanna keep me?”
“To say the least.”
You snickered. 
“Do you like steak?”
“I love steak.”
“That’s perfect, because I know a place. Five stars,” Jeno whispered huskily. “I’d like to take you out to dinner Friday night. What do you say?”
You pretended to mull it over, when in reality you’d been thinking about it for the past five minutes at length. Jeno had never been subtle with his flirty quips from the day he met you, in spite of the fact that you were Haechan’s date. Apparently there was no brotherly code. 
That, or he had absolutely zero regard for whatever it was. 
You chirped, “It’s a date.”
Even more days passed. Nothing from you. Haechan figured you were still in New York searching for work and whatnot, and, knowing how passionate you were about your job, didn’t dare disturb you. 
Though he would be lying if he said he didn’t miss you. 
“She’s back,” Jaemin said, sitting down at the table. 
Haechan furrowed his brows, asking, “Who?”
“Your girl, man,” Jaemin replied. “She’s back in town and she’s been going out with Jeno.”
Mark winced from across the table. “Damn.”
Haechan’s voice was low, almost like a mumble, “She didn’t tell me she was back.”
Jaemin patted him on the back. “I just thought you deserved to know, man.”
“You move too fast, dickhead. You probably scared the poor girl away,” Ryujin shot without looking away from her phone, playing a heated round of cup pong with Mark via iMessage games.
“She’s kinda right,” Jaemin agreed. “Slow and steady wins the race.”
Haechan took a much needed shot of liquor and grumbled, “Oh, shut the fuck up, Jaem. The whole reason Winter rejected your ass was because you were doing too much too fast.”
“And I revised my plan and made her mine. Isn’t that right, baby?” Jaemin asked, gaze flitting over to Winter. 
Winter giggled, leaning into his touch. “Right, baby.”
“You two make me sick.”
Winter quipped, “Jealous much?”
“Never in a million years.” Haechan grimaced. “I’m not drunk enough to put up with this right now.”
Ryujin exclaimed out of nowhere, “You limp dick bastard!” 
Mark was in the midst of a fit of giggles, laughing his ass off. “It’s one thing to suck at cup pong in real life, but you suck online, too?”
“I’m this close to deporting you back to Canada,” Ryujin hissed. 
Everybody froze when Jeno walked up to the table, taking a seat in front of Haechan. The whole spot was quiet. “What’s up, Haechan?” he asked. 
Haechan cocked his head. “What’s up, J? You been doing anything lately?”
“Fuck, yeah, man. I been doing a whole lot,” Jeno replied offhandedly. 
“Oh, yeah?” Haechan questioned. “Like what?”
Jeno shrugged, acting nonchalant. “Oh, you know. I’ve been out in the sun and shit. Getting things wet. Wallowing in the heat. Got a new boat.”
Winter grimaced. 
“Really?”
“Really,” Jeno repeated, locking eyes with Haechan. “See, I’ve been riding the wave lately.”
Haechan set his jaw, but played it cool. “That so?”
“You bet it is. Just been… cruising.”
“I think I test drove that model,” Haechan said with a little nod, picking up his glass. “Took it for a spin and all.”
Jeno narrowed his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. A couple of times.”
The tension at the table was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Jaemin and Winter got up to dismiss themselves with the excuse of wanting to be alone, while Mark and Ryujin sat there quietly, exchanging thoughts telepathically. Then, Jeno’s phone started to beep countless times. 
“I tell you, I hate when this happens,” Jeno sighed, taking out his phone and grinning slyly when he looked at the screen. “You know?”
Haechan quipped, “Mom keeps texting you, huh?”
“Not this time,” Jeno retorted. “This is one of my boating buddies.”
“Mm,” Haechan hummed, bristling at the thought. His whole body was cloaked in heat, a bite to his next words. “Well, I hope you don’t get thrown overboard. You’ve never been good at staying anchored.”
Jeno retaliated darkly, “You’d know a lot about that, wouldn’t you, Hyuck?”
Haechan lifted his shoulders. “Nah, you know me. I’m the captain. I invite the passengers on-board and I dismiss them. You tend to step on unfamiliar territory and get walked off the plank.”
Mark and Ryujin exchanged identical glances. What the fuck are they talking about?
“But it’s okay. You can’t help it,” Haechan added, setting down his drink and rising to his feet. “Yo, Mark, Ryu, I’ll get with you guys another time. Later.”
Jeno chuckled. 
Ryujin cocked him a glance. “Aren’t you a little too old to be fighting over some babe?”
“Never, Ryu,” Jeno replied, laughing a little. “Plus, I can’t help it if I’m the chosen one.”
“Chosen one, my fucking ass.”
Mark shook his head in disapproval. “You know you’re foul, right?”
Jeno groaned. “Foul for what, man?”
“Dude, come on. That girl shouldn’t even be anywhere on your radar. It’s like you were waiting for Haechan to slip up,” Mark replied with obvious disdain. 
“Whatever, man,” Jeno scoffed. “She chose me, alright? Take that up with god.”
Mark and Ryujin exchanged looks. 
A few dates with Jeno to forget the gaping hole Haechan had left in your heart ultimately came back with a bite. Jeno was sweet and all but you couldn’t feel a connection with him, something Haechan had made you feel within moments of your first date together. But you were still bitter. 
With that in mind, you kept up the act, all the while wondering if it was torture for him as much as it was for you. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t like Jeno. The dinners gave a nice first impression and he had an interesting personality. But no matter how much there was to like about Jeno’s indulgences and mesmerizing looks, he wasn’t Haechan. 
After a couple of weeks of dating, Jeno invited you to a party on a whim without much specifics and you spent the rest of your Thursday afternoon choosing an outfit. Maybe you wanted to look extra cute in case you made a special appearance in somebody’s Insta story and Haechan happened to see. 
It never crossed your mind that he might’ve physically been there. 
You locked arms with Jeno as you stepped into the party, allowing him to guide you throughout the house, weaving in and out of crowds of people. 
��‘Sup, guys,” Jeno greeted his clique when you both walked up to them.
You counted four faces and every single last one fell at the sight of you, their incessant chatter instantly ceasing. The lack of Haechan was very noticeable, but at the time, you were more concerned with how apparent it was that absolutely none of them knew you’d been invited. 
Clearing your throat in humiliation, you asked, “Um, where’s your bathroom?”
“Upstairs to the left,” Ryujin answered, but her face had yet to shift from that grim look. 
You thanked her and excused yourself, quickly fleeing up the steps and wishing some kind of chasm would open between them, swallowing you whole. 
Jeno glanced at Mark. “What up, Minhyung?”
Mark shook his head in disapproval. “Like I said. Foul.”
“Man, come the fuck on. Give me a break,” Jeno grumbled, irritated. This conversation was exhausting and it didn’t help the more it was had. 
Jaemin was wearing a reproachful frown, chastising, “That’s some fucked up shit, man. And you know what you’re doing is fucked up.”
“Pfft. Whatever.”
Jaemin narrowed his eyes and stood up straight. “Whatever?”
“Don’t,” Winter said swiftly, putting her hands on Jaemin’s chest. 
Ryujin crossed her arms, wearing the most withering scowl known to mankind. Her eyes cut at Jeno. “I’m disappointed in you.”
In that same second, Haechan stumbled from around the corner with a victorious smile that fell instantly once he caught a sight of Jeno. 
Mark scratched his head. Awkward, he mouthed to Ryujin.
She blew out a breath. 
Jeno scanned Haechan, smirking at him. “Yo, Donghyuck.”
Haechan mumbled a greeting, glancing away from Jeno. 
As if this whole ordeal didn’t already make you want to chew glass, it went from worse to worst the second you skipped down those stairs and stood next to Jeno, making eye contact with Haechan whose brows furrowed in shock. Your heart raced. This was without a doubt the most embarrassing moment of your life. 
You tapped Jeno on the arm. “You and me. Outside. Right now.” You brushed past him without waiting, immediately heading for the door. You couldn’t bear to be there for another second. Not like this.
Jeno eventually came outside the front door, calling out your name behind you as you ran down the stairs.
“Take me home now,” you demanded, pointing to his car parked right out front.
Jeno caught up to you, having the audacity to pretend to be confused, and asked, “Come on. What’s wrong?”
You gave him an incredulous look. Like you couldn’t believe he had the nerve to play dumb. “You just made a fucking fool out of me and I don’t like that shit. If you and Haechan wanna have a dick measuring contest, I want no parts.”
“Baby, I’m sorry,” Jeno apologized, reaching out to console you.
You snatched your arm away from him. “Don’t touch me. Just grab your keys and take me home.”
Jeno switched on a dime, hissing, “Like you didn’t think for one damn second that he was going to be here.”
You snapped, “No, because you gave me all of two seconds in advance to prepare and didn't have the decency to give me details!”
“And that’s my fucking problem how?”
“Jeno,” you snarled, taking a deep breath. He was really testing the last of your patience. “Are you gonna take me home or what?”
Jeno scoffed, “Hell the fuck no.”
“Un-fucking-believable,” you said, turning on your heels and stomping down the sidewalk. You were disappointed, but not surprised. 
“Walk!” Jeno exclaimed, turning around and heading back inside the house. 
Haechan glanced around when Jeno walked back over without you, baffled. “Where is she?”
Jeno exhaled a breath, stuffing a hand inside his pockets. “I don’t know,” he lied. 
Jaemin gave Jeno the utmost repulsive look. “You just left the woman outside? Don’t you know what kind of freaks walk around at night?”
Haechan didn’t bother to interrogate Jeno in spite of his questionably stupid actions, because even after all the weird shit going on between you two lately, he still had the decency to want to make sure you got home safe. He grabbed his coat and made a break for the door. 
Winter and Jaemin were shooting Jeno matching scowls. She grabbed her boyfriend’s hand and pulled him away wordlessly. Meanwhile, Ryujin had her arms folded snugly across her chest, clearly not pleased either. 
Jeno glanced down at her and barked, “What? You got something to say to me, Ryujin?”
“I don’t have a damn thing to say to you,” Ryujin hissed, following behind the couple. 
Which left Mark and Jeno. “You’re an asshole, dude,” Mark said. 
“Fuck you, man.”
Ryujin came back to grab Mark, leaving again this time with him in tow. 
All the while, Haechan was chasing you down the sidewalk, jogging to catch up to you. It was chilly outside, and he saw you wrap your arms around yourself to shield your bare skin from the nipping cold. 
Haechan called out your name. You could hear his footsteps just behind you. “Slow down.”
“I’m not in the mood to chat, Haechan,” you said, not glancing back. You couldn’t look into his eyes again. It nearly killed you the first time. 
“If you slow down, I can call you an Uber or something,” Haechan insisted.
All of your emotions hit you tenfold in that moment and you whipped around, exclaiming, “What do you want?”
“First of all, calm down. I know and you know that you don’t wanna be outside this late in this cold ass weather stomping down the street like somebody stole your fucking bike,” Haechan said even louder than you.
You scoffed, tightening your arms around your body. 
“Look,” he started, leaving a good distance between your bodies. “All I wanna do is get you home safely. No extra shit. I’ll call you an Uber and then it’ll be over.”
You couldn’t exactly argue with that. For fuck’s sake, Jeno - who had been your ride -  left you in the cold to die and you didn’t know your way around this area of town. With that in mind, you begrudgingly agreed. 
It was silent for a good while after Haechan called you an Uber. Neither of you said a word to each other, and you both stubbornly made sure that was extra space between your bodies while you waited. His leather jacket now being draped over your shoulders didn’t bother you in the slightest. 
Well, maybe that was a lie. You were bristling with sudden longing. Obviously, it smelled exactly like him. You were breathing him in even though he was what felt like worlds away from you. 
Haechan tried to resist his temper, but the dam ultimately broke and he snapped, “What the hell are you doing going out with Jeno? First you take flight to New York to see some dude, and then you’re fucking on one of my boys?”
The mention of New York and Jeno only fueled your flames and you shot back, “All you had to do was tell me that you were seeing somebody.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not seeing no one.”
“I saw you with her outside the fucking cafe next to the record store.”
“I’m always by the fucking record store,” Haechan exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “What are you talking about?”
You rolled your eyes. You had enough of men playing dumb with you for one night. Thankfully, the Uber pulled up just in time, and you sneered just as you got in the backseat, “You know what the hell I’m talking about.”
Haechan watched you get driven off, puzzled. Like you were speaking an entirely different language. And then it hit him. “Ryujin’s friend. Shit. God-fucking-dammit.”
He took out his phone and opened your text messages. Fuck, he hadn’t texted you in forever and a half. At least text me when you get back home so I know you’re safe. 
Haechan shoved his phone into his pockets, doubting you would reply. Imagine his surprise when his phone buzzed only a couple of moments later. Okay.
Sure, it was one word, but he would take it. One was better than nothing. Right now, he had to think of a way to salvage this relationship. 
The first thing you did when you were safely back inside your condo was text Haechan that you were back home safe and block Jeno’s number. Then, you took off all your makeup and prepared to take a long, scalding shower. You didn’t even realize Haechan hadn’t asked for his jacket back until you went to undress yourself. 
Many thoughts were weighing on your mind as the hot water hit your skin. You felt like an idiot. For going to see Jaehyun, for entertaining Jeno’s fuckboy tendencies. But worst of all, for wishing your feelings for Haechan would go down the drain. 
You had finally come to terms with the fact that your heart wanted Haechan, even if it took a long time to accept and even if you were in denial that you couldn’t have him. You worried that you had already fucked things up too much. And you worried that you never had a chance to begin with. 
There was very little room for misunderstanding in the fact that you were easily replaceable. It was borderline offensive how quick Haechan was to pop out with a new chick while you were away. Like all of those months together meant nothing to him. Your biggest fear was that they were only special to you. 
You cried yourself to sleep that night. You’d lost the game. Again. Maybe you were just bad at love. You figured you would probably do everyone and yourself a huge favor if you stopped involving your heart and focused on your career like you always wanted.
So, you decided that that was what you were going to do. 
Neither you or Haechan spoke to each for weeks. Sitting on your bed, you wondered if he was thinking about you and what went wrong. If he was as fucked up and heartbroken as you were.  Maybe you did it to yourself. Something told you not to fool around with Haechan too much, after all, but you still kept him close because you were human and you wanted to be loved. 
All you knew was that you couldn’t stay here, sitting in ruins over a boy you couldn’t have. When Jaehyun cheated on you, you felt dirty and lacked the strength to rouse out of bed in the mornings. You couldn’t let yourself steep to that point of misery over something you couldn’t even call a break-up. 
You glanced at your phone. Should you have called him? Maybe you should have at least texted him, since you didn’t do either when you came back from New York. 
Almost worlds away from you, Haechan was sitting by his phone with the same thoughts wearing him thin. You were wearing him thin. He wanted to call you, but if you thought you were stubborn, Haechan gave you a run for your money. 
You said you’d let him know when you were back and Haechan waited and waited. You never called. Not one fucking time. So why should he have called you?
Because you love her, hissed the voice in his head that made Haechan roll his eyes in annoyance. He was past denying the truth, but he was terrified of confronting it. Loving you made his blood chill with fear. It wasn’t a question of whether or not you loved him back. It was if you loved him enough to make it work.
His emotions were all over the place. First of all, he was spiteful and wanted to hate you. He was angry. For fuck’s sake, you went out with Jeno for what - to make him jealous?
But on the other hand, all those memories you’d made with each other weren’t simple to forget. Every time Haechan closed his eyes, he saw you. Your gorgeous smile and twinkling eyes. He could taste your chapstick on his tongue and feel your warmth in his arms, as if you were some lingering ghost that was haunting him in spirit. He could hear your laughter ringing in his ears as he told you a stupid joke solely to make you laugh. 
Jesus fucking Christ. Haechan had been in love, but never like this. Your love was mind-numbing. No girl had ever made him feel this many emotions all at once. You made him want to scream and shout, but you made him want to smile. You made a void ache in his chest. 
Haechan’s phone started to ring. He scolded himself for immediately hoping that it was you finally calling him like you should have weeks ago, but was disappointed when he saw it was Chaewon. But his curiosity got the best of him and he brought the phone to his ear, answering, “Hello?”
“Hey, Haechan,” Chaewon greeted somewhat somberly. 
Haechan could immediately tell that something was off. He could hear it in her tone. “What’s up, Chaewon?”
“It’s about your girl,” Chaewon said, sullen. She was obviously very worried. “She’s going away for a few months. She got a deal out of state and they’re flying her out.”
Haechan set his jaw. You were leaving - again. And he had to find out about your whereabouts through somebody else. Again. “Oh. Good for her, I guess,” he replied indifferently. 
Chaewon snapped, “Don’t give me that nonchalant bullshit, Haechan. You know and I know that you both care about each other. Now, listen. She’s my best friend and the love of my life, but I understand that she hasn’t been making the best decisions lately.”
Haechan interjected, “So what? I should go clean up her mess? I’m not her man and I’m damn sure not her fucking daddy, Chaewon.”
“Don’t start getting an attitude with me,” Chaewon hissed. “If you’d let me finish, I was going to say that her flight leaves today at four. I just thought you deserved to know that. It’s not your job to finish what she started, but if you still want to, you know where to find her.”
Haechan heaved a breath. 
Chaewon added, “It’s up to you. I think you two could set things straight if you communicated with each other for once. But if you don’t want that, then forget I said anything. I just thought with how adamant you were on pursuing her that you would be the last person to give up on her. Maybe I was wrong.”
Haechan sighed. Again. His head was throbbing. “I’ll think about it,” he finally exhaled after a moment or two. 
“Okay. Bye, Haechan.”
Haechan spent all of three hours debating whether or not he should have come to see you. He was still bitter over the lack of communication, but after a moment of pondering in silence, realized that was why you two were in this predicament in the first place.
If he would have been honest about how he felt about you going to New York, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe you would’ve never left. Never entertained Jeno. You would’ve stayed in his arms where you rightfully belonged. 
After all this time, he realized something. His open arms would still be waiting for you when you were ready to come back to them. Fear corrupted Haechan when he had a thought. The fear of you never coming back. What if you went away for months and met a different guy that you liked? What if you never came back?
He wasn’t ready to lose you, he quickly realized. He wasn’t ready to give you away either. The first thing he thought when you told him about your ex was that that guy was a dumbass for kicking you to the curb. 
And if Haechan thought he was stubborn, his heart was going to put both of you to shame. 
Haechan grabbed his keys and burst out the front door like lightning, immediately mounting his bike. Even the damn bike reminded him of you as he probably broke the law with how quickly he was speeding. On a motorcycle, we get to dodge all the traffic.
He looked everywhere for you. Every corner he turned, there were people living their day-to-day lives, giving the guy running through the airport like he was playing Subway Surfers a brief, baffled look. Haechan didn’t care. He didn’t give a flying fuck who thought what about him, unabashedly in love with you. He would shout it out in front of all of these strangers if that was what it took.
Finally, he saw you, closing in on your terminal. He shouted your name loud enough to disturb some people and earn a couple of disdainful glances from onlookers. 
You turned around, recognizing that voice before you saw his face. 
Your heart raced when you saw Haechan jogging over to you and for a moment you were pleased to see him, but then you remembered how ruined you were because of him. You pretended not to care and sneered, “If you’re here to get your jacket back, you’re out of luck. I already checked in and I don’t have my luggage.”
“Damn that jacket,” Haechan hissed, his blood pumping a billion times per second. Only half it was because of how fast he ran. “I can’t let you leave like this. Not when we have so much unfinished business to work through.”
You barked, “Me and you are nothing. We have nothing.”
“Really?” Haechan asked, staring at you in disbelief. “All those months together meant nothing to you?”
Those words reminded you of that night at Jaehyun’s place, as well as the fact that Haechan couldn’t have cared about you, which only made you bristle. You lied through your teeth, “Nothing.”
Haechan switched on a diming, changing tactics, and hissed, “Bull-fucking-shit. I spent so many nights waiting for you to call. You never did. I could have got at least a fucking text or something. But you know what I got instead? Nothing. A whole lotta nothing! I had to find out from somebody else that you’re back and then you go out with Jeno.”
All you could do was give him an ugly scowl. How dare he march up in here to shout in your face? Like you were the villain. “I waited for you to show up. You never did! You said you were busy, but you were at the fucking club. Don’t even lie because I saw Jaemin’s story.”
Fuck, you saw that? “So, I go out and have a couple of drinks and you decide you want to fuck Jeno?”
“Are you fucking serious right now?” you seethed. “All I wanted was for you to kiss me goodbye, but you stood me up so that you could drink and get laid. I saw you outside the cafe with the girl. That’s why I didn’t call you.”
Haechan softened in realization, understanding that he had fucked up more than he thought. Still, he kept riling you up. It was the only way you both would get answers. 
“You went off to New York to fuck your ex,” Haechan reminded. “I don’t see why it’s a big deal that I got laid too.”
You exclaimed, “I didn’t want to go to New York!”
“Then, why the fuck did you?”
You ran your fingers through your hair. He was just so good at getting under your skin. You confessed morosely, “Because when I had sex with you, it felt like we were making love. I was in denial about loving you, because I didn’t want to take the risk of getting my heart broken again.”
Haechan wasn’t sure what he was expecting you to say, but it wasn’t that. He was positively stunned to silence.
“Jaehyun asked me a couple of weeks before that to come to New York. And I wasn’t going to, but I was conflicted. And you acted like you didn’t care, so,” you explained yourself rapidly. “I went there to see if I still loved him, but all I harbored when I got there was resentment.”
God, I am a fucking idiot, Haechan hissed to himself. He swore he wasn’t going to fuck this one up. 
“Then, I started going out with Jeno, thinking I could get back at you while also proving to myself that I wasn’t in love,” you whispered. “But he wasn’t you. That was when I knew you’ve ruined me.”
“You’ve ruined me too,” Haechan said softly, approaching you a little further. “She’s not you. I want you to know that. I only hooked up with her because I was upset and I wanted to distract myself from you.”
You were silent. His words weren’t exactly comforting, but you were both finally being honest with each other. And yourselves. 
Haechan grabbed your hand in his, locking eyes with yours. “I fucked up. I should’ve been here the first time, but I wasn’t.”
Your eyes watered and no matter how hard you blinked, you couldn’t battle the tears. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt about me going to New York? It would have mattered.”
“Because I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to control you,” Haechan replied, a well of regret and self-loathing. “I was trying to respect your decision.”
You chortled through your tears. “A gentleman to your core.”
Haechan shook his head, frowning. “In retrospect, there are so many things I could have done better. Maybe I was moving too fast for you, baby, and I’m sorry. I get a little overzealous.”
“Trust me, Haechan. You’re just the right amount of zealous.”
Haechan snickered. Leave it to you to make him laugh even during a moment like this.
Now that you both had cleared the air, you felt like there was a weight off your chest. You could understand each other and rationalize the other’s actions. You should have just talked a long time ago. 
“I didn’t fuck Jeno,” you blurted. “Or my ex.”
Haechan hung his head. “I’m sorry for accusing you of that. And for not being honest about my feelings.”
“I forgive you,” you spoke softly. “I’m sorry for not calling you and for going out with your friend.”
“He’s not my friend,” Haechan said like he was repulsed. “You helped me see that, so I forgive you.”
Your lips broke into a grin when he wiped a tear from your eyes. 
Haechan’s expression suddenly turned sober and he declared, “I wanna start over.”
“Haechan…,” you started.
He shushed you. “I’m not the easiest person to get to know but half of it is because nobody ever gives me a chance. People look at me and see what they want to see. They think they’ve got me all figured out.”
That was true. You knew it, because you had been one of those people. You got your heart broken by a fuckboy once and Haechan made it way too easy to assume he was the same. 
“Even if I broke your heart, I wanna put it back together again,” Haechan continued. “Will you let me do that?”
God, your whole being was consumed by. The love you had for this boy was all-consuming. You just wanted to be with him for the rest of your life. “Yes. You already know I will.”
Haechan smiled triumphantly. All he knew was you. If he couldn’t have you, he didn’t know what he would do with himself. 
“But I’m literally leaving for three months,” you reminded him, a frown on your face. 
The reminder jolted Haechan back into reality, but he knew better than to ask you to stay. He knew you loved your work and he wouldn’t dare come between that bond. “You remember what I told you on our first date? About dating long distance?”
Your frown got bigger. “Yeah. That you didn’t know if you could make it work for me, but you would at least try.”
“I changed my mind,” Haechan told you, looking at you with all the love in the universe. “I don’t give a fuck what I have to do to make it work. I don’t care how hard I have to try. I love you and I’m willing to sacrifice everything for us.”
All you could do was stare into his eyes. Those three words made your head spin. He loved you. “Really?”
Haechan bobbed his head. “I’ll call you every day. I’ll text you good morning when I wake up and goodnight before I go to bed. But you have to meet me halfway.”
“I’ll meet you in the middle,” you said in a heartbeat. “I’ll text you every time I think about you. We can watch stupid romcoms then talk about them over the phone. I’ll call you and tell you how my days are going.”
“I want to hear all of it. The good days and the bad ones too. I wanna be there for you,” Haechan whispered tenderly.
“You can do all of that.”
“You promise?”
You nodded. “It’s gonna take some effort, but… I know we can make us work. You just have to accept that I need space sometimes and I don’t always make sense.”
Haechan snorted. Like he didn’t already know that. “No offense, but I think we just had a crash course on that, baby.”
You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t fight it anymore and smashed your lips against his, bringing him in for a kiss. They called for passengers to board. Haechan’s hands were quick to grab your waist, holding you tight like he didn’t want to let you get on that plane. But he once heard that if you love someone, you’ll let them go. So, that was what he was going to do. 
When you pulled back, Haechan said, “Promise when you get back we’re gonna watch a really cheesy movie together and dance to MJ.” 
You chuckled, slipping your fingers through his and squeezing. “I’ll save the date.” 
Haechan smiled, letting out a breath. “Bye, baby.”
“See you later,” you whispered, almost like you didn’t want to go. But you knew you would regret not getting on that plane. “I mean it this time.”
Haechan snorted. Finally, after exchanging one last kiss, he let you go. 
He watched you slip away. There was a familiar feeling taut around his heart, but he toughed it out. You’re gone again, but that’s okay. Because this time, I know you’ll come back. 
“I’ll wait for you,” Haechan whispered to himself, turning away once you were out of his sight. 
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caspiansinclair · 2 days ago
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A LIST OF TFC KANDREW QUOTES/CRUMBS (i love them. i probably missed a good amount since this was from a light skimming through):
- to andrew: “you already have kevin”
- “[andrew] said he’d break his fingers if Coach ever made him play with kevin again.” “but he’s playing now?” “only because kevin is. kevin got back on court with a racquet in his right hand, and andrew wasn’t far behind. up until then they were fighting like cats and dogs. now look at them. they’re practically trading friendship bracelets and i couldn’t fit a crowbar between them if it’d save my life.” “but why? andrew hates kevin’s obsession with exy.” “the day they start making sense, let me know. i gave up trying to sort it all out weeks ago. you could ask, but neither of them will answer. but as long as i’m doling out advice? stop staring at kevin so much. you’re making me fear for your life.” “what do you mean?” “andrew is scary territorial over him. he punches me in the first time i said i’d like to get kevin too wasted to be straight.”
- “andrew was only here because kevin day never went anywhere alone.”
- about andrew: “he has only eyes for kevin”
- ‘“look at me,” andrew said. kevin turned a haunted at him… “it’ll be fine,” andrew said. “i promised, didn’t i? don’t you believe me?” it took a while, but at last kevin visibly relaxed. the dead edge melted out of his eyes as he absorbed every ounce of strength andrew could give him. the unwavering trust kevin had in andrew was amazing.”
- about andrew: “kevin needs him right now and that trumps whatever agreement you two had”
- “kevin had andrew to lean on”
- “i hate you.” “you don’t.” “how would you know?” “because if you did, andrew wouldn’t let you anywhere near me.”
- “andrew put his hand to kevin’s back and shoved him into the bedroom” (this one’s here for sillies.)
- “since kevin appears to be in the center of his (andrew’s) strange world”
- “this means andrew is keeping you, same as he kept kevin”
- “you’re the reason kevin’s going to stay with our team. andrew’s got kevin’s back, but you’ve got kevin’s attention. that makes you invaluable to andrew.”
- “kevin had to climb up andrew’s side to get to his feet after downing 13 drinks in an hour and a half”
- “Kevin was standing with Andrew inside the goal line, left hand out so Andrew could tug at his outer glove. Andrew undid the straps and peeled it off, then hooked it under his arm so he could take off Kevin's arm guard. He left Kevin's under-glove on, but unhooked the loop from Kevin's middle finger so he could slide the black cloth to Kevin's wrist. Kevin flexed his fingers slowly, staring at his scars, then turned his hand over and flexed his fingers again”
- “The look on Matt's face said he was just getting started, but Andrew stepped between them before Matt could go after Kevin again. Andrew was smiling and his stance was casual, but Matt knew better than to try his luck against the short psychopath. Matt took a step back, silently conceding the fight, and shot Neil a worried look. Kevin got to his feet behind Andrew and glared at Neil.”
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velvetvexations · 8 hours ago
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Since we're talking about forcefem, here're most of the forcefem-related asks I've had in my inbox, some of which are a few days old on account of technically going in the vexatious tag if not exactly kink asks. I wanted to answer one from today on it's own which I'll get to later but I wanted to get to the older ones and also get to a few of the others from today while I was at it.
i just saw a post where a trans guy was showing some messages where someone was (unconsensually) basically roleplaying forcefemming him. despite him telling them that he did not want that and that it was very much transphobic, and he atill got a message boiling down to "you're not a man, silly, you're a girl :D" and. to be honest. this was the thing that stopped the brainworms of "what if the whole concept of transandrophobia is actually transmisogynistic and i am entirely wrong" bc at least some of these people will just say the most bog standard transphobic shit to trans guys and not register it as transphobia. so why the fuck would they be right about anything transmascs experience also on that note thank you for being so outspoken in favour of transmascs getting to discuss their oppression. it's really helpful to see trans women stand with us here, especially when it comes to aforementioned brainworms
congratulations to that transphobe for creating a new transandrobro
the 'forcemasc isnt revolutionary' shit is the most annoying iteration of stupid tumblr discourse. like im going through the tag trying to read some horny shit and oh look. theres someone being stupid and hypocritical. in my horny tag.
people are getting tribalist about kinks and it's depressing
Every time people are saying that trans men & mascs cannot possibly fathom being objectified & fetishized, I think on all of the posts I’ve seen that did that exact same thing. And yeah, some of it might have been kink, so no hate no judgement I dabble in that tag too, but I’ve also seen “get in the dress” type posts that seem to be genuinely calling for trans men to be more feminine, untagged & in the wild, enough where I’m like — am I just imagining this? Like am I crazy? Am I missing something, or was that extremely detailed post about why I MUST stay feminine — or become more — for someone else’s benefit being 100% serious? And, again — if it’s kink, all the power to them, I love that for them, I even occasionally love that for me. But I have encountered enough people who were dead serious that I sometimes want no one but trusted friends & advisors to ever witness me again. And then I look at statistics & feel genuinely ill. And yeah, I’m gnc — and there’s the rub, because while I feel genuine joy being fem as well as masc, I want it to be a Choice, not something forced upon me.
people need to be fucking normal
Yh like ik a lot of shitposts don't have any tags but people have. Really gotta tag forcefem. I've blocked a large amount of people making these jokes + filtered their names n I still see it
I'm sorry, anon. <3
Fuck thank you so much for talking so openly about forcemasc. I’m so dumb I thought there wasn’t a name for that kink that I’ve been into for years, albeit my version is way more weirder. It would be like a… forcemascfem??? Like first it’s forcemasc and then it turns into forcefem and then right back to forcemasc…. And then back to- Idk my gender is weird and my kinky fantasy for that is weird
Cross as many boundries as you want, that sounds rad. Forcefem has a lot of infrastructure to jump off of.
“I’m doing a kink in a non kink way so it’s not kink blog!” Sorry this pisses me off It’s still a kink. Like. If someone made an I-suggest-BDSM blog and tried to claim it wasn’t a kink blog I’m sure more people would see how silly this is but because it’s the transfem approved virtuous forcefem they just let it slide??? Like. You are engaging in a kink and thats fine. You can say there won’t be anything explicitly sexual! But it will still be a kink blog because it’s a blog about a kink! A kink blog if you will! It doesn’t matter if you’re not getting off to it, it’s still a kink! That you are participating in! On your blog about that kink!
It SHOULD piss you off! It's extremely fucking scummy!
what the hell? for like one solid minute(longer than that but i like saying it this way) all the forcefem on my dash was tagged and i could blissfully not have to see it every other post and then just today i had to unfollow a buncha people for an assload of untagged forcefem :/ like im transmasc i think its understandable that i do not wish to see that anyway hope your day is goin well miss velvet
yeah it's praxis to not tag kink anymore
trfs are perfectly aware what the "force" bit means when forcemasc comes up in conversation
strange how that works
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sanchoyo · 4 months ago
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We had to put him down this morning. His health was getting too bad and I couldn’t stand the idea of him suffering.
it’s just crazy to think I don’t really have puppy pictures of him because we got him before we even had cell phones. I picked him because all the other puppies had cute little shirts on and when I asked why he didn’t, the guy giving him to us said he was too rowdy and was a wiggly little fighter and I was so charmed by that. He had so much personality and would wake me up at ungodly hours in the morning for our walks. But like, he gave me a reason to get outside and see the sunrise everyday. I hope I took even half as much care of him as he did for me. Love you forever, fuzzy ❤️
#I feel so sad but I’m so grateful to have had this long. 15 almost 16 years is crazy#the grief will be forever but so will the love#animal death#fuzzy#animals#dog#sanchoyorambles#ive known it was coming but I don’t think any amount of time or knowing could really make it hurt less. it’ll just take time#he was safe and I hope he wasn’t scared#I did what I could to make him feel comfortable but it never feels like enough I wish I could’ve done more I wish he could’ve lived forever#I know it’s selfish but I wanted more time with him. I wish I could’ve got him a house with a big fenced in yard.#and always have fed him home cooked meals and spoiled him even more#not just any crusty little white dog. MY beloved crusty little white dog#he got along with cats better than other dogs and used to bark at even the WORD squirrel before he lost his hearing#he was so silly and I’m going to miss him so so much#I wish we could’ve seen a million more sunrises together buddy#it’s so quiet without him I don’t know what to do with myself#making this as an online memorial. but I did make him a shadow box with his collar and leash and paw prints and pictures and his#adoption papers and everything and his grave is going to be marked with a cute engraved thing it’s just not here yet#I’ll never love a dog so much again man I can’t handle this#but I want something online to look back on#I want people to know he was great and I love him and I’ll always love my baby#I’ve been trying to distract myself but god. ow
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javierduffy · 6 days ago
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just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount
branwen
- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall
- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.
- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.
- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.
- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.
- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.
boaz
- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle
- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.
- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.
- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.
- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.
- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella
ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry
#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional#it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me#i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys#and just going on dates and riding their little horsies#my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides#and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together#javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that#he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where#he came from#so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera#has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab#vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the#stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h#im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels#safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau#se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi#ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as#much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu#ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javieran#kieran duffy#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s waxing poetry again#i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy
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random-rug-rat · 8 months ago
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Tbhk chapter 113 spoilers✨✨
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
MY BOY IS BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!✨✨✨🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
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petrichormore · 1 year ago
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!! The following is a rant and is slightly fandom critical, it’s also over-exaggerated and half joking !!
!! I’m just expelling frustration it’s not serious I’m just being silly rn so beware all ye who enter here (and also read the tags) !!
the only character that is allowed to kill an egg without repercussions is q!badboyhalo because this fandom treats him like a glorified nanny and they only care about him when they’re yelling at him to take care of their fav egg. he ain’t that egg’s government-assigned parent and he isn’t responsible for constantly keeping every egg alive but i damn well know if an egg dies on his watch, or if an egg dies of neglect he’s gonna get blamed - especially if an egg dies of neglect since he’s the only islander that cares about that apparently lmao (mostly joking). And the worst part is he’ll probably blame himself too but it honest to god is not his problem.
Bro needs a vacation - an actual one where he’s not taking care of an average of 3 eggs daily lmfao
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okcoolthanks · 5 months ago
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GOESS WHO GETS TO DRAW ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS FOR A RP BLOG OF THAT CHARACTER‼️‼️‼️
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crossbackpoke-check · 1 year ago
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56 and any Yamo pairing! 🫶
i just wheezed so hard when i saw what the song was i almost snorted coffee out of my nose i am so sorry for this one
#56 - kyoto phoebe bridgers + yamo
the story of how this song ended up on my wrapped is too long so it’s going in the tags but. let me set the scene for you.
2026 NHL GLOBAL SERIES™️ JAPAN - Presented by YPPI
November 13 & 14, 2026: Dallas Stars, Montreal Canadiens, Seattle Kraken, Vancouver Canucks
Saitama Super Arena, Saitama, Japan
It’s a pitiful excuse of a consolation prize for not being able to go to the Olympics, but Kailer’s not going to look a vacation horse in the mouth. The arena’s cool. It’s huge. The people are cool. There’s so many more of them than he thought there’d be with jerseys that have his name on the back, and a lot more that have the familiar orange and blue. He takes a picture of the fifth Oilers Yamamoto jersey he signs—this one’s the good Reverse Retro—and texts it to Connor, says,
no one here has even heard of mcjesus
and gets a moon face emoji in response. Leon’s influence. Kailer’s still never really deciphered what that one means, and he doesn’t think Connor knows either.
They don’t have a lot of time off between games, but Kailer’s trying to be a good tourist. His dad had been so happy when Kailer had told him about the series that Kailer’d had to stop him from trying to book a flight a year in advance, and his mom’s been just as bad, sending him every article she sees about Best New Spot in Tokyo! Cool Restaurant! Have You Seen This Japanese Cat Café? that she scrolls across on Facebook since June. Suzy’s in the same boat, so they’ve been crossing off their compiled travel-guide list together, looping in as many guys as they can. Everyone’s been pretty game. All the teams are crammed into close quarters at the same hotel, which means everyone wants to spend as much time as possible outside of it, and it helps that Kailer’s gotten pretty close with all the other guys that the NHL picked up as Global Series figureheads. Robo’s memes? Absolutely fire. The groupchat loves them.
For every item he crosses off the list, Kailer takes a picture and keeps it tucked in his phone notes. It’s like speed-running a scavenger hunt—they’re only here for four days—but he’s doing a pretty good job. His favorite so far has been all the gardens. They’re stunning, trees shining bright red and yellow, and every vendor has been selling maple candies, maple cakes, and even fried maple, though the official maple festival doesn’t start until next week. The second garden he visits, he does it on his own after practice, buying two cakes from a cart near the gate and walking until he loses the bustle outside. It’s easy to get lost in the winding pathways, heading deeper into the quiet, and there’s dozens of benches underneath the burnished leaves where young couples are tucked away on dates, or old friends are laughing and catching up. In some of the little clearings, there’s small shrines where people leave offerings, a prayer for good luck or good fortune.
Kailer stops at one without any people and sets the second maple cake on top of it, then sits and scrolls through all the texts that he’s missed. His mom gets replied to with a picture of him outside the garden gate, grinning and surrounded by other travelers. He sends his brother a picture of a trashy graphic I Love Japan t-shirt with the threat that he’ll buy one for him, and Kailer’s dad gets a picture of the meticulously arranged and cut bonsai that are across from the bench where he’s sitting. The Seattle groupchat gets a recycled meme from Robo, and he gets two thumbs up and an “LMAO” before he can even exit the thread. Finally, Kailer takes a picture of the half-eaten maple cake in his hand, holding it next to a fallen maple leaf on the bench, and gets halfway through typing another message before he thinks better of it.
(On the plane over, Drieds was reading them a story about how when they first introduced the high-speed railway, people were afraid to use it because they thought it would be too fast for their souls to keep up.
“Bro, if that were true, you just left your soul in the middle of the Pacific,” Ebs had laughed. “Planes are faster than trains.”
“Are they?” Matty asked. “Isn’t the train in Japan the fastest in the world?”
Drieds couldn’t make it through the rest of the story over the sound of everyone ripping Matty to shreds, so Kailer didn’t get to ask whether or not they found out anything about planes. Kailer’s not worried about his soul, but the logic makes a strange kind of sense; after all, he traveled 429 miles in five and a half hours once, and that was a little too fast for his heart to keep up.)
Fuck it. Kailer’s been trying to write a response for the past ten days, and he’s sick of swiping in and out of the message, staring at the keyboard so long he starts to see swirls in his vision.
Kailer drafts the text again and sends it, no context, no caption. A text travels faster than a high-speed train or a jet. Maybe it’ll pick his heart back up on the way.
#I don’t know how this song ended up on my Spotify wrapped because phoebe bridgers is too emotionally damaging for me to listen to like.#at all unless i am In It HOWEVER. there is this one silly video that brings me so much joy and made me feel semi-reasonable about listening#to kyoto & it’s the one video of the two painter guys painting the room & the lil guy is being a menace & the other guy just looks at him s#fondly & so lovingly & is that not the thesis of kailer yamamoto. be small be a menace be beloved by everyone. ANYWAY#liv in the replies#look this was going to be such a different thing and then. my brain went HEY BUDDY GUESS THE FUCK WHAT kyoto is a city in Japan.#day off in kyoto. guess who’s Japanese. guess what the nhl loves to do as HIFE publicity. also growing the AAPI audience is HUGE and i thin#they should. like originally i had NO idea what this was going to be (i’m so lying. the line ‘i’m gonna kill you’ but incredibly fond a la#the two painters video kept replaying in my head and i was like l m a o. klimmer & kailer. no plot all vibes it’s klimmer & Kailer that’s i#there is no real plot there is no actual idea the amount of googling that i did to write just this is UNREASONABLE i would love to be norma#about anything ever but i ALSO invented so much backstory to this that has no way of appearing in the actual fic and also jokes for ME#for instance. YPPI is the american manufacturer for yamaha motorcycles and. suzuki. yamamoto. (it’s not my brainworms it’s due to a fancam)#respectfully also i cannot write this fic. i have never been to japan and i think it would take me eight years to google enough#to be relatively comfortable like y’all have never seen the extensive research i put in to fucking phiLLY and a whole other COUNTRY???#where the premise of the fic is learning how to be a tourist in your life and sometimes you have to grow out of things?#yeah i AM going to make something with the idea of Momijigari and life is ephemeral. is that a plot? no it’s vibes.#kailer goes to japan in the fall and realizes he’s a liar. who lies. (he misses [redacted]) (the redacted is because i haven’t decided)#also also. the garden reference is because a) i spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON GOOGLE and found out things to do in saitama and also that#kailer’s grandpa had a meticulous garden and i just think that’s neat#hiding-from-reality-56#random ficlet is unbeta’d un-anything’d i don’t know WHERE this came from or the real plot of it at all. ok thanks byeeeee
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Hi what do you do if you don’t like someone but they think you’re friends and talk to you like you’re friends and can’t take a hint
#he’s too fucking needy and all he does is take and take and take#and I don’t have any love left for him#and I don’t know how to say that in a nice way#there are strangers who I’ve had five min conversations with#and I’ve gained more out of those ‘relationships’ than I have in this one in a whole year#like. I just Cannot deal with him he’s fucking horrible for my mental health#I’m sorry he’s going through stuff. I’m sick of being there for him when hes never there for me#and now he’s sending me ten pics of his hair and being like ‘which one is best’ and Buddy. we are not Friends#like it’s a silly silly little thing and I am replying because I don’t want to be rude but we’re not friends#and I don’t know how to convey that without being cruel#I didn’t talk to him for like several months until yesterdya#and he talked about how he missed me and wanted to hang out more#and I don’t Want To I’ve moved on to people who actually add value to my life and don’t use me constantly#like thank u for liking my personality! I Cannot reciprocate. sorry Buddy#I do have so much love to give but just not for him#but then I feel bad because IM also so fucking needy all the time. do people feel the same way about me and just don’t tell me#because it’s too much of an inconvenience to hurt my feelings because they can’t get away from me?? idk#I think me and him are similar and every time I say that Evan goes 🤔🤔 but idkkk#everyone else says we’re very different and I’m not annoying in the way he is#but ugh.#one day I’m going to be SO secure in every single one of my relationships. one day soon
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nereidprinc3ss · 2 months ago
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diva
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in which flirty!reader shows up to work in a bad mood and it’s spencer’s job to deal with her attitude. not that he minds. (bandages universe)
fluff warnings/tags: fem!reader, mentions of reader coming to work from a casual hookup, flirting, lots of teasing, the BAU being silly geese bc this is before all the trauma, insecurities about reader's job performance, spencer wants to be a cyborg, borderline cuddling hehehe a/n: nanana diva is a female version of a hustler (bandages!reader theme song) no but really i just missed them so much lowkey always accepting requests for these two!! I hope you guys likeeee bc i loveee them and also this was based on a request so i hope u see this LOL
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As soon as Hotch calls wheels up in thirty you’re slumping forward, resting your head on folded arms. The to-go cup on the round table in front of you has long been emptied but you look at it longingly anyway. 
Morgan chuckles, slapping his folder down on the table next to you. “Aw, look at that. Bright eyed and bushy tailed.”
“It’s Sunday,” you groan. “It’s seven in the morning. Excuse me for not being ready to carpe the diem.”
“It’s just carpe diem,” Spencer interjects, standing and slipping his file into his bag. You sit up and give him the most indignant look you can manage, though it’s hard when you’re this tired and he’s that cute. Slacks. Sweater vest. Button down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. An enviable waist. 
“Whose side are you on?”
He frowns, brushing a tuft of shining-clean brown hair out of his eyes. 
“If I was on anyone’s side other than my own it would cease to be their side. We’re all always on our own sides.”
“No, you’re on my side. Defend me.”
His brows only dart up and he looks back down to his bag. It’s a look you know well. Don’t get me involved. 
Morgan spins in his chair to face you, one elbow resting on the table. 
“I’m just saying, if this is your Sunday morning, I’d love to see your Saturday night, little miss forty five minutes late.”
“You heard Hotch say he called me half an hour earlier than everyone else. It was technically fifteen,” you frown. “And I… was at church.”
Rossi gestures at you with his coffee cup. “You step foot in a church, your shoes are going to start smoking.”
Your jaw drops. 
“Wow. I thought old people were supposed to be sweet. Come on, Spencer.”
Spencer knows better than to put up a fight as you get up and grab him by the hand not holding onto your cup and folder, dragging him to the bullpen to sit at your desk until the team is ready to go. 
He stands in front of you, hands in pockets, as you plop into your own chair. “I… can’t tell if you’re actually mad.”
“I am. At you. For not being on my side.”
Spencer sets his bag down and leans against the adjacent desk, arms folded. You stopped caring a long time ago if he’d notice you ogling the long, lithe lines of him. Maybe you never really cared, if you’re being honest with yourself. He’s a little harder to scandalize these days, anyway. But you’ll never stop trying. 
He bites his lip thoughtfully. 
“If you’re mad at me, why am I the one you dragged down here?”
“I’m not taking questions, Reid.”
He hisses. “Ouch. Reid.”
“Mhm. That’s how mad I am.”
“Okay, grouchy. Do you want a refill?”
You borderline pout, continuously perplexed by his kindness in the face of your insolence, but holding out your hollow cup for him anyway as you slouch lower in your seat. 
“Don’t call me grouchy.”
“Then don’t call me Reid,” he says, taking your cup as he passes, and you think you sense the faintest wash of amusement coloring his tone. 
The jet doesn’t do much to put pep in your step. 
“Aberdeen,” Morgan muses, letting his file closed on his lap. “Isn’t that where, uh, Kurt Cobain grew up?”
Spencer sits down in the chair next to you, setting the day’s third cup of coffee in front of you on the small table. “It is. It’s also where Washington’s first suspected serial killer William Gohl resided.”
“First of many,” Rossi amends. Reid nods. 
“In the US, Washington State comes in fifth place in terms of serial killers per capita. Some blame a widespread vitamin D deficiency. Just under eight hours of sunlight in the winter, the least in the contiguous United States.”
Emily gives an abhorrent rendition of a famous Nirvana riff, imitating a twangy electric guitar, before gesturing to your boss. “Hotch, you’re from Seattle. Did you ever get into Nirvana? The whole grunge scene?”
Hotch lowers his folder, giving her an unimpressed look. “Did you?”
While the exchange is amusing, the coffee is not perking you up and you’d like to be slightly less upright, if possible. You bump Spencer’s knee with your own, and he looks over at you obediently. 
“What’s up?”
“I wanna move to the couch.”
He nods and gets right back up. When you pass, and he doesn’t immediately follow, you turn around. Maybe the lack of sleep has rendered you unable to hide your look of contempt as he tries to sit back down. 
“What are you doing?”
Morgan snorts. “Uh oh. Lapdog almost forgot his training.”
“I am not a lapdog,” Spencer defends, giving Morgan a harsh look of his own, before following you, much to the amusement of the rest of the BAU. 
“Don’t listen to them,” you mutter as you step aside to let him pass. 
He settles into the corner of the couch. “I almost never do.” When you cozy up next to him, he seems surprised. “Um, hi?”
“I’m cold. You’re warm.”
“This is… unprofessional.”
You roll your eyes even though he can’t see. “Oh my god. They don’t care.”
That’s enough to shut him up. Eventually he relaxes, and though he doesn’t put his arm around you (they remain crossed in front of him) he doesn’t seem too distraught over the way you’re leaning against him, head on his shoulder. The sky is a soft grey where you can see it through the little rectangles lining the far wall, like a pale tea with plenty of milk. 
“What’s up with you, anyway?” He asks eventually, gingerly, and though he’s bold to ask it you know the last thing he means to do is offend. Luckily for him, he’s your soft spot. You let your eyes flutter shut against the boxes of diffuse light. 
“Tired.”
“I know that. You’ve had three cups of coffee and you’re still about to fall asleep.”
“Well… that’s all it was.”
“Mhm.”
“God, you’re—” you lift your head, about to give him a good old fashioned verbal lashing, but he’s so sweet looking, and he’s so kind to you even when he’s not, that you deflate—all your air coming out on a sigh as you settle back against him. “I… was… not home, when Hotch called me.”
“Yeah, you said you were at church?” He sounds utterly bewildered. Your heart melts, and you can’t hide the fondness seeping from every pore as you look up at him through your lashes. He really is so beautiful. 
“That was a joke, Spence. I was with a friend.”
His brows knit and a faint blush tinges his cheeks. 
“Oh. I knew that.”
And he really is getting better at detecting your brand of sarcasm. One day you doubt you’ll be able to pull any over on him, and he’ll stop being so adorable and bashful and embarrassed and sweet all the time. You don't relish the thought.
“What were you doing this morning?” You ask, in a bid to quell the very embarrassment you covet, because you’re not actually a demon, despite what Rossi had implied earlier. 
“Sleeping.”
You hum. Imagine taking his hand. Don’t really take it. 
“Me ’nd you should hang out outside of work more often.”
“Like… in the mornings?”
“Uh, probably not,” you laugh, your own face heating at the implication he’s only sort of and undoubtedly accidentally making. “I mean—we could. We could have breakfast sometimes.”
“I like breakfast,” he muses. “I know a couple of good spots. I can show you when we get back. There are these ube pancakes that are like bright purple on the inside. Have you had ube? I think you’d like them. The pancakes and the tuber. They’re the same color as your laptop case.”
You giggle, too tired for anything more dignified and too charmed for anything less authentic. Spencer has a moment of apparent self-awareness and after a second chuckles along with you, and like 99% of your moments with him, it’s a nice one. 
It slowly fades, and you sigh. 
“We’d probably get called in right in the middle of breakfast.”
“It’s always a possibility,” Spencer agrees, and you feel him nod. He smells really nice—clean and sort of cedar-y. Warm. 
“You ever think about how we’re just… robot arms to do the bidding of the federal government? We’re not even people. We’re cyborgs.”
“I’d love to be a cyborg.”
“But then you wouldn’t be so warm and comfy.”
“If I were a cyborg I could install a heating element. I’d still be warm. I don’t know about comfy. Maybe if I kept the biomechatronics to one side of my torso.”
“You’d install a heating element just for me? So we could keep cuddling?”
He clears his throat. You smile to yourself. 
“Why are we cyborgs, exactly?”
“Because we don’t get personal lives. The job comes first. I could be doing anything. I could be in the middle of eating bright purple pancakes with my good friend and colleague Spencer Reid and it doesn’t matter. If we get called in we have to leave.”
“If we were in the middle of breakfast, we could just… take our food to go and finish it at our desks.”
“Well—I guess it would be different if it was us, but with my other friends… it’s kind of a bummer, sometimes.”
You’re thinking about the friend you left this morning. Nobody you’re particularly invested in, but you wonder if that friend is still asleep in bed—and you realize you don’t much care. You’re glad to be here, and not there. 
“I think if the job didn’t feel worth it to you, you would’ve left by now. But you haven’t. You can complain all you want, but you show up every day.”
You scoff. 
“Fifteen to 45 minutes late, depending on how you look at it.”
“That is… atypical. You’re usually on time.”
“Usually…” you repeat darkly. A moment passes. An uncomfortable insecurity begins to bloom and ache like a rotting tooth. “Can I ask you a serious question?”
Spencer doesn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“Do you think…” you falter, unused to this kind of vulnerability. A cloud swallows the jet and the cabin darkens into a place for secrets. “Do you think I’m worth the trouble?”
You know Spencer senses the unease like a sheepdog can sense a storm from the way he perks up next to you. He’s always been like that—incredibly attuned to the moods of others. You hope he doesn’t think profiling is just another of many learned skills. It’s a genuine talent, a sort of savantism in its own right. You can’t imagine him doing anything else as passionately as he does his job. Sometimes it almost makes you insecure. 
“What trouble?”
“Like… Hotch having to call me half an hour earlier than he calls the rest of the team. Or you, accepting my constant teasing. I know I’m—I can be kind of a diva. I don’t always really feel as professional as you guys. Or… qualified, maybe.”
You can imagine the way he’d narrow his eyes as he thinks this over, though you’d still like to see it for yourself—but you keep your head on his shoulder. In a way, he’s already getting a closer look at you than you usually grant to anyone. 
“I think… you’re good at your job. And you care more than you’d like to admit. That thing you do—where you sometimes show up a few minutes late, or you piss Rossi off on purpose, or you flirt with Hotch—I think… we all have things like that. We all self-sabotage, because it’s a really hard job, and I think we all wonder if we’re really qualified for it, or deserve to be in these positions, or if we even want the responsibility of trying to save people’s lives. But you’re a genuinely good person and a gifted profiler. And everyone else knows it, too.”
The deep thrum of the jet’s engine blurs the rest of the team’s incomprehensible chatting and the pounding of your heart into one big muddied streak of paint. Hopefully Spencer can’t feel the heat of your cheek through his shirtsleeve. 
“Oh,” you murmur. 
A moment passes. 
It’s a relief when Spencer’s anxiety comes bubbling up before your own can. “Sorry, was that too much?”
“No,” you hurry, “no, it was—no. That was really really nice of you to say. Thank you, Spencer.”
He relaxes. “Well… it’s all true.”
How could anyone ever deserve him? How does anyone get lucky enough to know a man like Spencer Reid?
When you burst through the other side of the cloud, the sun has come out. It burns away the milky early morning fog and makes your eyes ache just enough to finally wake you up. You blink and stretch against him like a cat. 
“Spence?”
“Hm?”
“I just want to clarify… I don’t flirt with Hotch. I flirt with you.”
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