#hate that dreams plant fake memories in my head. I don’t actually know if i’ve dreamt the clown guy before

[mieltelecheycrema]

ough nightmare. I swear I’ve had this game guy appear in my nightmares before and that actually scares me

[faejilly]

nightmares turn to dreams

for @flaine1996​ as part of the @masseffectholidaycheer​

Part 2 of 2: after (fic) [part 2: before (music)]

aka Thane & Kaidan during ME3, and how they’ve dealt with their lives after they met Shepard (background F!Shenko) because how you do a thing matters.

*

Hospitals are too damned bright.

This one's at least got big picture windows, so it's not all that fake white sterility.

If Kaidan thinks about it too much it makes him feel worse, though, because he's inside a space station. It's not real sunlight, it's not real fresh air, and yet it fools him for a moment every morning when he first looks "outside", and wants to crack the window to let some of that in.

But the outside's not much different than the inside, even with all the cultivated plants and water out there. (There are plants and water in here, after all. They'd wheeled him to the atrium as soon as he could manage sitting up, and they let him walk himself there now that he's a bit more mobile.)

He misses the wind off the seashore, the tang of real pine as the air starts turning cold, the way frost makes the inside of his nose tickle. (It'd be a terrible idea, of course, sitting outside in a Canadian autumn in the shape he's in, but he wants it, beyond rhyme or reason or logic.)

Or maybe he wants it to be summer, sitting on a porch drinking a cold beer.

Nothing quite like a cold beer on a hot day, his grandmother had told him once, back when he'd been granted his first spare sip of his father's drink, and almost spat it out again at how dank and bitter it had tasted. She'd had a quirk of a smile on her face, and the rest of the adults had barely smothered their laughter at his expression. Though you might not agree with me on that one just yet.

Or ever, his mother had answered, shaking her head over her sparkling water. She never did drink beer, and seldom used wine for anything other than cooking, either. Some of us still don't.

"You still with me?"

Kaidan blinks, makes himself focus on Tiana, his physical therapist. "Sorry," he answers, his voice rough in his too dry throat. He reaches out a hand, and she slips a water bottle in it before he can even ask. He drinks, tries not to think too much about how different the tepid liquid is from the beer in his memory.

Tiana shakes her head when he passed the bottle back, a smile clear in the flare of her mandibles. "No apologies necessary. We're almost done."

Kaidan sighs out a breath in relief, ignores the ache in his thighs and back, and makes himself do one more rep, than another.

"There we go," Tiana sighs with him as he finishes. "Time to cool down."

Kaidan nods, and doesn't bother trying to speak again as they go through the familiar routine. Sweat is slick on his skin, and he hates how exhausted he is, hates the dull throb from the neutral amp they'd put in to make sure his biotics didn't flare during his recovery.

SOP for head wounds; he knows that, but that doesn't mean he likes it.

He never thought he'd miss that sharp-sweet pressure from his L2 implants, that constant background he'd forced himself to accept over the years, but now that it's temporarily suppressed he doesn't quite feel like himself, almost as off-kilter from the change in the static between his ears as from relearning the shape and stretch of his body.

He wonders, a little, how much worse it must have been for Shepard, to wake up with everything different around her, body and mind and galaxy...

He shakes his head, and makes himself focus on the here and now.

He's got it so much better than she did, he doesn't have anything to complain about, not really.

He's not isolated, he's got messages from his folks waiting for his reply, even a quick note from Anderson in his inbox. He's got a tech analysis to go over from Tali, who asked for a second opinion, and a rant from Garrus about their current REV that ends with a truly bewildered how the fuck does this damn thing make me miss the Mako?

Nothing from Shepard, but he understands that, he does. They need more than blank words on a screen. She'd come to visit him, he knew that, but he'd been too far gone, not yet awake, and he wishes...

He just has to wait.

He's getting better, even if it's at a frustratingly slow pace...

Unlike his standing dinner engagement. Krios is never going to get better.

He and Thane eat together most days.

They don't ever talk about Shepard, the one thing that they have in common, the one thing that brought them together...

It's nice, actually, to talk to someone who didn't know him before, who has no expectations, no preconceptions. Who goes still whenever Kaidan does, whenever one of them thinks of something from their past that's too heavy to let slip away quickly.

Only tonight, Thane doesn't go silent, as if he can tell that Kaidan's worries are closer to the surface than usual.

"She keeps a picture of you."

Kaidan blinks, his fork hovering somewhere between his plate and his mouth.

"In her quarters, on her desk." Thane blinks, more slowly than usual, the movement of his eyelids easy to follow. He exhales, heavy and rasping. "A reminder, I think, not just of why she fights, but how she chooses to do so."

Kaidan closes his eyes, puts his fork down with a soft tunk. It aches, twisting and bitter, somewhere in his chest where his heart's supposed to be.

He'd failed to be there for her, and yet she acted like he had been, and he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive himself...

Thane scoffs in the back of his throat, the noise softer and deeper than one Kaidan would make, caught in the dregs of his illness, in the shape of his mouth and tongue. "I do not say that to make you feel worse, Alenko."

Kaidan manages half a smile, opens his eyes. "But I'm good at feeling guilty, Krios, what else should I do?"

Thane rolls his eyes, his expression soft. "Not that."

"You any good at taking your own advice?"

"I have made my peace—"

Kaidan scoffs that time, louder and sharper. "No, you haven't. Settling into dying isn't the same thing as accepting how you lived."

Thane is truly still this time, his hands pressing down on the table hard enough that Kaidan can see the shape of the seam through the thick joint in his middle finger.

"There are things I've done..." Thane trails off.

"I killed my first man when I was a teenager." Kaidan shrugs as Thane tilts his head, clearly listening, even as he doesn't quite lift his head enough to meet Kaidan's gaze. "And sure, it was provoked out of me, was mostly a protective instinct, and I'm not sure there was a way to have stopped it, not with everything else that was happening..." He trails off this time, swallows. He knows Thane is waiting for him to finish, recognizes that he's not trying to stop, that he just has to line up the words properly. "But for just a moment I was glad I'd stopped him, proud of what I was capable of doing to another person, and no matter how horrified I was a moment later, I will never again not know that about myself."

Thane nods, slow and steady and understanding. Kaidan had thought he'd understand. Not a lot of people would. "And then what did you do, once you learned yourself?"

Kaidan huffs out something that's not a laugh. "I got lost for awhile."

"Perhaps I should let myself get lost." Thane's voice is thick, and a little damp, and Kaidan can't quite tease out the emotion from his illness.

I don't think you have the time. But Kaidan knows not to say that. Doesn’t even want to, really. Thane doesn’t need the time, after all, not like Kaidan had, all those years ago.

"I don't know, I think that's hard to do when you've found yourself again, already." Kaidan lets himself smile; it's not entirely happy, but it's there, and he sees the tension in Thane's shoulders ease at the sight of it. "You've got Kolyat, and your memories. And the Normandy."

"We both have Shepard."

Kaidan nods. He knows he does, knows he will, when he can stand on his own, when she comes back. It might not be what it was, nothing's ever exactly what it was, but they'll still have... something. They'll make it enough, he's sure of it. "We'll always have Shepard. And she'll always have us."

"Always?" Thane doesn't have an eyebrow to raise, but the expression's familiar nonetheless, sardonic but not as heavy as he was a moment ago. Thane doesn't have much time left.

“How she chooses to fight, remember?” How you live matters, even when you're not around to see the consequences. Kaidan knows he'll never forget Thane Krios, and the company he had during this odd oasis in his life. Knows Shepard never forgets any of her friends. Kaidan's smile is a bit easier this time, and it widens even further when he sees Thane smile back, small but sincere. Thane understands. "So yeah. Always."

[amwritesitall]

Sally McKenna Playlist

Masterlist

I listen to this playlist so much it’s just ahh. As of the time I’m writing this, this bad boy is almost exactly 3 and a half hours long

Occasional little blurbs under the songs that are... interesting

Playlist link

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys

I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be And satisfaction feels like a distant memory And I can't help myself, all I Wanna hear her say is "Are you mine?" Well, are you mine?

How could I not put some Arctic Monkeys for Sally. They scream Sally vibes.

“The Cult of Dionysus” by The Orion Experience

I'm feeling devious You're looking glamorous Let's get mischievous And polyamorous Wine and women and wonderful vices Welcome to the cult of Dionysus

At first this song might seem a little weird, but it is quite the banger once you get into it

“I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Want To Die” by Waterparks

I miss having sex but at least I don't wanna die anymore And I think that's pretty cool I miss seeing the red on your face when I made you blush, hey But I think it's fine, it's cool

This song is such a mood I can’t even. 

“summer depression” by girl in red

Pretty face with pretty bad dreams No one knows i cry in my sleep Waking up feeling like shit It's a normal thing to feel like this

I don't care I'm feeling down I wanna stay home Never go outside Summer depression comes every year I just want to disappear

Do you listen to girl in red because I sure do

“OK” by Wallows

I'm getting too close You say you love me most It's hard to trust it even though I want to Need to get this shit out of my head Before I flip this on myself instead

I’m in an unofficial girl band called Sugar Tits and this is one of the songs we’re going to cover. I feel like Sally would appreciate this.

“505″ by Arctic Monkeys

I'm going back to 505 If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive In my imagination you're waiting, lying on your side With your hands between your thighs

Stop and wait a sec Oh, when you look at me like that, my darling What did you expect? I probably still adore you with your hands around my neck Or I did last time I checked

This song SCREAMS Sally and I stand by that

“Gold Dust Woman - 2004 Remaster” by Fleetwood Mac

Did she make you cry Make you break down Shatter your illusions of love And is it over now do you know how Pick up the pieces and go home.

I can’t not put a Fleetwood Mac song

“Dontmakemefallinlove” by Cuco

I don't think I'm meant to be with you I don't wanna make you sad All the time just feeling bad Girl, don't make me fall in love with you I don't think I'm right for you I'm just disappointing you

Angsty Sally not feeling good enough

“Prom Queen” by Beach Bunny

Teach me how to be okay I don't want to downplay my emotions They say beauty is pain You'll only be happy If you look a certain way

Sally vibes, man

“3 Nights” by Dominic Fike

Three nights at the motel Under streetlights In the city of palms Call me what you want, when you want, if you want And you can call me names if you call me up

Hotel Cortez love affair with our girl Sally

“Marlboro Nights” by Lonely God

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow I can't study Thinking about you And you know I always do I don't wanna go to sleep tonight when I can stay up Thinking about you And you know I always do

This is teen Sally and it is not up for debate

“Paper Thin Hotel” by Matt Maltese

I listened to your kisses at the door I never heard the world so clear before You ran your bath and you began to sing I felt so good I couldn't feel a thing I stood there with my ear against the wall I was not seized by jealousy at all In fact a burden lifted from my soul I learned that love was out of my control

A lot of these songs I have cried to and thinking about angsty Sally makes it even harder not to cry. Picture poor Sally being trapped in the Cortez and having to witness someone she love be with another person. How can you not be sad thinking about that?

“Lonely Eyes” by The Front Bottoms

You've got me stuck to where I'm sittin' Lookin' at your eyes And I know I'm so pathetic I wouldn't move to save my life And they tell me that you're lonely It's no surprise When you walk around all day wearing those Lonely, lonely, lonely eyes

Lonely bb

“me & ur ghost” by blackbear

I'm not alone It's just me and your ghost And this cripplin' depression I thought I learned my lesson But, I threw out my phone And I burned all your clothes And now I'm not alone It's just me and your ghost

You could take this literally or metaphorically. I’d argue that it works either way.

“Cigarettes On Patios” by BabyJake

I was smoking cigarettes on patios I was throwing money in the air Maybe I should pick that shit back up Bet my night on love Here we go again

This song is extremely repetitive, but the vibe fits.

“Sex n’ Drugs” by Abhi The Nomad

Born faceless Please save me My soul's tainted It's how I've been born I've worn patience Please save me I'm more tasteful than ever before

Sally’s theme song and overall lifestyle

“Foreplay” by Jalen Santoy

First they tell you that they love you Then they ask where you coming from Like you the only one feeling how you feeling Then you lie just to make it sound appealing

I love you The things that cross my mind while I'm by myself I hate you These things go through my mind while I'm by myself I fuck you These things run through my mind while I'm by myself Well fuck you It's always on my mind, think I need some help

Find me vibin’ to this. Sally dealing with fake ass bitches.

“hot girl bummer” by blackbear

Fuck you, and you, and you I hate your friends and they hate me too I'm through, I'm through, I'm through This that hot girl bummer anthem Turn it up and throw a tantrum

Hot girl summer Sally

“1 SIDED LOVE” by blackbear

You're too busy talking over me to hear what I'm saying You're too high to realize I see Through the smile that you're faking You're so into yourself Everyone else is overrated And everything's changing Is your heart worth breaking?

I could cry to this. Actually now that I think about it, I have cried to this and Sally would too.

“Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer

Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go? I don't wanna know, oh But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change And you know you don't want it any other way

An angry vibe

“Wrong” by Ally Hills

I can't keep on living with a delicate mind If I make a coffee, can we act like we're fine? When we were tangled in the sheets And waking up in our bed 'Cause now you strangle me in my sleep And I wake up with you in my head

Oh oh Oh oh I thought you loved me

A sad post break up vibe

“Space” by Ally Hills

You don't even care that my clothes aren't there. You needed the hanger space. You don't even mind 'cause you don't waste time Filling in all the blanks.

I wish you were sad for a day so you would know how it tastes to be lonely I wish you would stay in for a night to see what it's like fading slowly

Another sad post break up vibe

“Liability” by Lorde

Baby really hurt me Crying in the taxi He don't wanna know me Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm Says it was poison So I guess I'll go home Into the arms of the girl that I love The only love I haven't screwed up She's so hard to please But she's a forest fire

Ok, but try to listen to this song while sad and not cry??? I could cry to this even if I’m not sad. It just comes on and I’m like “yeah bitch I am a liability.”

“All Girls Are The Same” by Juice WRLD

Ten minutes, she tell me it would take ten minutes To break my heart, oh no she didn't Fuck livin', I'ma drown in my sorrow Fuck givin', I'ma take not borrow And I'm still sinnin', I'm still losin' my mind I know I been trippin', I'm still wasting my time All the time given, am I dyin? Am I livin'? It's fuck feelings, my sorrow go up to the ceilin'

Heartbroken gal

“The Louvre” by Lorde

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush Drink up your movements, still I can't get enough I overthink your p-punctuation use Not my fault, just a thing that my mind do

A rush at the beginning I get caught up, just for a minute But lover, you're the one to blame, all that you're doing Can you hear the violence? Megaphone to my chest

CRASHING INTO LOVE WITH RECKLESS SALLY

“Writer In The Dark” by Lorde

Break the news, you're walking out To be a good man for someone else Sorry, I was never good like you Stood on my chest and kept me down Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd Did my best to exist just for you

Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark

Angsty song writer Sally

“Sims” by Lauv

I wish that you and I lived in the Sims We could build a house and plant some flowers and have kids But we're both at some trashy Halloween party downtown And I'll probably never see you again I wish that we lived on a VHS I'd erase the things I said and that I'll probably say again Hit rewind on all the times I got lost in my head But I guess I'll never see you again I'll probably never see you again

Ok hang with me for a second here. Sally leaving the Cortez in her one night of freedom. She meets someone at a Halloween party and they hit it off, but she doesn’t think to get her contact information or anything, so she spends the next year thinking of seeing the mysterious girl again.

“Everybody Talks” by Neon Trees

It started with a whisper And that was when I kissed her And then she made my lips hurt I could hear the chit chat Take me to your love shack Mamas always gotta back track When everybody talks back

Sally can take me to her love shack anytime

“prom dress” by mxmtoon

I can't help the fact I like to be alone It might sound kinda sad, but that's just what I seem to know I tend to handle things usually by myself And I can't ever seem to try and ask for help

I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest

The last line screams teenage Sally, but also Sally now too?

“i hope your whole life sux” by blackbear

The truth yeah, is I've been up for days on cocaine The truth is I've been up for days tryin' not to think about you I hope that I'm the reason that you can't sleep I hope that your whole life sucks without me The truth is I've been up for days thinkin' 'bout you

Unhealthy coping mechanisms from our favorite druggie

Please don’t do cocaine. Cocaine ruin yo brain.

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer

Some days, you're the only thing I know Only thing that's burning when the nights grow cold Can't look away, can't look away Beg you to stay, beg you to stay, yeah Sometimes, you're a stranger in my bed Don't know if you love me or you want me dead Push me away, push me away Then beg me to stay, beg me to stay

Spicy Sally

“Fuck Up” by Tana Mongeau

'Cause I'm a fuck up, and I'm so fucked up And all these voices in my head won't shut the fuck up 'Cause I'm a fuck up, and I'm so fucked up And it's 5 p.m. and I just woke the fuck up

This song is me, but also Sally. 

“hell is where i dreamt of u and woke up alone” by blackbear

I'm in need of moderation Nah, I need a fucking break 'Cause I just railed down enough lines tonight To spell your first and last name

And it's all because I dreamt of you And woke up alone What a wonderful tone To bring you back home

I don’t even do cocaine, but this shit strikes something within me

“Idfc” by blackbear

Tell me pretty lies Look me in the face Tell me that you love me Even if it's fake 'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

Just tell Sally you love her

“Weekend” by Club House

I know you always say that you're alright But then you want to talk on the low And if you wanna a break, baby we can Hit the rooftop all alone Let me make you smile, baby all night Fuck around maybe get stoned You know that we can do it every weekend But you just wanna talk on the low

Care free loving with Sally

“Supplier!” by Crisaunt

Baby girl All of this fighting got me tired All this love that you desire All this effort you require I cannot be your supplier

I’m pretty sure I put this on here for vibes

“Model Student” by Grady

Growing up, i got used to laughs Suddenly JanSport really had my back I came into the world an outcast I didn´t dress the same I didn´t act the same But the popular kids Peaked around 17 And the only peaking i did Was looking for a fuck to give

Sally doesn’t give a fuck

“Life Inside” by Verzache

My life inside Wish I could get out and go ride a bike Head in the wind, and know what it's like And wear my ones like we did all the time Please, don't remind me 'bout my life inside I waste on my phone, sleep most the time Wake up to texts from girls I used to like Try not to text back, the light hurts my eyes Smoke 'til I'm knocked out

Trapped in Hotel Cortez Sally

“Haunt You” by Social House

Better off this way but I want you, want you, want you Sometimes I just wanna fucking Call you, call you, call you Never thought something beautiful could Haunt you, haunt you, haunt you

Shout out to @make--your--life--spectacular​ for telling me about this song because it is really good and fits Sally’s vibes

“if i could i would feel nothing” by blackbear

Underneath it all the truth is that I Really feel like shit I'm so sick of being tired I'm so tired of being sick

Post breakup Sally

“Crash and Burn” by Marc E. Bassy

Girl, we got some dangerous minds Every time we bring them together Nothing can take us off this ride Maybe we'll crash and we'll burn together

Sally is a crash and burn together kind of gal

“STFU” by mansionz, Spark Master Tape

Shut the fuck up right now and let me breathe Shut the fuck up right now, let me do my thing Slow down, slow down, slow down Quit hitting my phone up, quit hitting my phone up Quit hitting my phone, slow down

Annoyed Sally vibes

“fuck, i’m lonely” by Lauv, Anne-Marie

Fuck, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely as Fuck, come hold me, come hold me, come hold me It's been me, myself, and why did you go, did you go? Oh, fuck, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, lonely, 

I miss those nights when you would come over Spent all night just tryna get closer That was June and now it's October I don't want, don't wanna get over

Fuck, Sally’s lonely

“If You’re Too Shy (Let Me Know)” by The 1975

"Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes I'm not playing with you, baby I think that you should give it a go" She said, "Maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes I wanna see, and stop thinking If you're too shy, then let me Too shy, then let me know"

Sally is the “she” you speak of

“Instead of My Room” by Charlie Burg

We are simpatico Don't wanna let you go I wanna get to know (I wanna go out and see the new Star Wars with you) Play me another song I want to sing along Give my a melody (I heard the Hunger Games wasn't as good as the book)

Teen vibes, but also parts of this are talking about music and music is definitely a love language for Sally

“pharmacy” by Isaac Dunbar

Mmm, hurt me I kind of developed a taste for it Mmm, hurt me I want the pain between my lips

Feed it to me softly From your purple and blue fingers Constricted to only you To whom I seem to linger See me climb too high You cut the vine you had to hinder me

Prescribe yourself to me You're the only remedy Have me begging on my knees You're my pharmacy

Sally is into this and you can’t tell me any differently

“Daze Inn - Acoustic” by Carlie Hanson

We spent last night trippin' at the Daze Inn Lost in time like we got on a spaceship Tell me all your dreams when you wake up Carry me from the pool to the bathtub

Daze Inn = Hotel Cortez

“Last Nite” by The Strokes

Last night, she said "Oh, baby, don't feel so down Oh, it turns me off When I feel left out" So I, I turned round Oh, baby, gonna be alright It was a great big lie 'Cause I left that night, yeah

V I B E S

“Lonely Times” by Hot Flash Heat Wave

Lemme tell ya a little story fresh out of my dormitory I didn't know where things were going City lights felt like drowning in the ocean Late nights lying in my bed with all these thoughts swimming through my head Lonely times drifting in my dreams, I feel alright when I'm drifting, I’m drifting

Sally reminiscing on her times before the Cortez

“blackboard.edu” by Arlie

Don't listen to me I just need a good night's sleepAnd you keep me up all night Can't talk right I'm fallin' in my clothes And even though I'm feeling like death I can't be upset 'Cause I finally know

If you can’t tell, I love teen AUs

“7PM” by Lilacs, Lizzy McAlpine

I'm losing my mind I'm reading the news for the hell of it I'm wondering if she's on your mind Losing track of time I'm learning to cook for the hell of it And I'm wondering if she's by your side Tonight

Trapped in the Cortez and can’t go out and be with anyone

“i’m so tired...” by Lauv, Troye Sivan

I'm so tired of love songs, tired of love songs Tired of love songs, tired of love Just wanna go home, wanna go home Wanna go home, whoa

Sick of them damn love songs

“So Alright, Cool, Whatever” by The Happy Fits

How could you ever really know? If you never look You don't know what you'll find I've got an effervescent glow If you'd show me all the dark parts of your mind.

I wanna be with you. I wanna be with you. I wanna be barely hangin' on. 

Sally falls HARD

“Kilby Girl” by The Backseat Lovers

I overheard that she was 19 with a fake ID and a nose ring Those kind of girls tend to know things better than I do And I'm dying to figure out what she's hiding She's playing it cool but she's lying, better than I do

TEEN SALLY

“New Girl” by FINNEAS

I wanna scratch your surface I wanna feel your groove I wanna be your needle I wanna lick your wound You wanna play with fire? Stick and poke tattoo? You wanna play, my new girl? I wanna play with you

The energy, the presence, the vibes

“Chicken Tenders” by Dominic Fike

We settled but it never felt right 'cause we can't keep still And we try to fight the way everything feels When we step out of line I met your gaze and it was love that we were makin' And she spoke a different language There was no need for translation And I ordered chicken fingers to my room, girl But we got some things to do first

This song is something that’s for sure

“no friends” by mazie

I don't have no fucking friends Don't have fun, I don't break hearts I don't have no fucking friends

If less is more then I'm doing the most I'm so bored, and I feel like a ghost I don't wanna smoke no more 'cause I'm broke And my window won't open God, my life is a joke

Sally is lonely and needs love

-

You might like:  Poems that Remind Me of Sally McKenna or Cordelia Goode Playlist

[blouisparadise]

Here is a list of amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of January. Between the second month of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest and all the other fics that authors posted throughout the month, it’s clear that this was a great way to start off the year of bottom Louis fics!  Happy reading!

1) You Can Be The Boss Daddy | Explicit | 1641 words

This is just Louis being used and humiliated by his strong Daddy

2) Don't Pretend That I Don't Entice You | Explicit | 2086 words

“Speaking of which, he couldn't wait to get home to see him. They both worked long days and most of the time their days off didn't line up. But they made up for things like that when they could, spending hours cuddling in bed and talking about the randomest of things or ya know, having mind-blowing sex that left them sated and panting, heated limbs tangled together and breaths and scents mingling. Harry enjoyed those moments quite a bit, if he was going to be at all honest.”

3) The Sound Of Music | Explicit | 2602 words

Harry quietly makes his way down the stairs and into the large foyer, the marble floors are cold against his bare feet and he regrets not taking his slippers.

The tinkling of piano keys flirts its way to his ears and he turns his head in the direction of their living room. His mouth quirks sideways with a smile and he makes his way towards the music.

4) Letters From Boston | Explicit | 3316 words

Louis’s standing in the kitchen when he opens the first letter.

5) Starlight In Your Eyes Of Blue | Mature | 4434 words

Harry is in New York while Louis is back home at London waiting for Harry’s return. Unfortunately, Harry may be unable to come back home in time for Christmas and most importantly—Louis’ birthday. Louis can’t wait any longer to be in a bed that’s no longer empty but in the end it changes.

6) I Couldn’t Get Away From You | Mature | 5185 words

Suddenly in the heat of the moment, Harry’s eyes turned darker as he pushed Louis’ back more and more towards the wall. “Fine.” He plants his lips on Louis’ and begins to roughly kiss him, soon enough turning it into a make-out session.

“Fuck you, Styles,” Louis moans and grips onto Harry’s shoulders, hands trailing up to the taller’s hair and gripping that as well.

“We’ll see about that.”

7) My Kingdom for Your Graces | Explicit | 5257 words

Louis gets a last minute day off and Harry decides to surprise him with a visit. They proceed to do what lovers do.

8) I Think I'm In Love | Mature | 6019 words

Louis' a young man looking for love. Harry's a sugar daddy looking for a new sub. They meet through a dating app and decide to try out a relationship.

9) Daddy's Little Kitty | Mature | 7224 words

Harry Styles is a gentle master. But what happens when Louis pushes him to his limits?

10) There's More Than One Place To Call Home | Explicit | 8416 words

Harry never asked for much from his neighbors - he didn't care about barking animals during the day or loud talking during the night.

The only thing he needed was silence when he was writing. And that was the only thing his new neighbor wouldn't give him.

Deciding to confront the loud guy who lived next door, Harry found himself ringing his doorbell one night. And that decision just may be the best thing that's ever happened to Harry.

11) Cooking With Styles | Explicit | 9119 words

Anyone can cook— or so they say.

12) Watching The World Fall | Explicit | 11777 words

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

13) We'll Be the Fine Line | Not Rated | 13443 words

Louis listens to Fine Line, and, drunk, he leaves a voicemail for Harry after months of not speaking. This reminds Harry of a time before everything fell apart, slowly, painfully, a time when the two of them were still in love. And he desperately wants to go back.

14) (You're Gonna See Me In A) New Light | Mature | 13631 words

A fake relationship au where everyone knows it's real but Louis.

15) Don't Know If I Could Ever Go Without | Explicit | 14140 words

“We’ve come up with a solid solution. You’re not going to like it.”

“What is it?” Louis narrows his eyes suspiciously, glancing at a visibly enthusiastic Liam.

“What if you pretended to be an Alpha?” Zayn suggests.

16) Something Wicked This Way Comes | Explicit | 16526 words

A regency murder mystery au where Louis is married to an earl and Harry is a detective. Hatchets are buried but not everyone is as they seem.

17) Keep It Sweet In Your Memory | Explicit | 17039 words

'How'd it go?' Harry pushes them into Niall's room and shuts the door behind him, so Georgia doesn't overhear.

'It was good. We just caught up, mostly... I may have done something a little stupid, though.'

And Niall's eyebrows are in his hairline at that.

'I mean. Okay, so I invited Louis out on Saturday.'

'Saturday? Your--'

'Yes, my bachelor party...' and then Harry has to explain himself, 'I just felt guilty. I think. He was like. Telling me he wanted to hook up.'

'He WHAT!?'

'No. I mean, not with me. Like. He wants to go out and meet people.'

'He'll hate that. He's too much of a romantic.'

'Yeah, well. Whatever his name was messed him up a little, it would seem.'

18) UN(RE)SOLVED | Explicit | 20873 words

The ghoul boys are back, but this time around there are some unresolved feelings involved. Harry is a skeptic, Louis is not. Watch them go on their ongoing investigation into the question: are ghosts real?

Or, BuzzFeed Unsolved AU.

19) The Way The Storms Blow | Explicit | 21649 words

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

20) Hold Onto This Heaven (Of Yours) | Explicit | 25213 words

an ode to being too young, too sad, and too in love.

(aka: a college au, harry is a frat boy, and louis wants to know all of his secrets.)

21) Weightless | Explicit | 25330 words

He hopes that Harry still thinks of him. God knows Louis thinks of him every day.

Or: Harry is the best dragon racer the world has ever seen and Louis is an almost-vet who feels like he is carrying the weight of the world.

22) Creep | Explicit | 26092 words

Harry is a wallflower, louis is a sophomore brat with a heart of gold no one seems to notice, harry, a senior, is a musician in disguise. louis finds him in the music room, Harry performing his self written song Creep on a talent show. he steals Louis' heart and begins to stalk Harry on social media, finding out the boy is gorgeous inside and out, tattoos popping against his milky skin, unashamed of his amazing body.

a story of a boy with dark thoughts finding his way through the dark with his light guiding him.

23) Blue Lotus | Explicit | 29815 words

Note: This fic is Louis/OMC.

After the Second Rebellion and the dismantling of President Cowell’s regime, Louis struggles to make sense of life.

A post-Hunger Games AU.

24) You Contain In Your Eyes The Sunset And The Dawn | Mature | 38152 

Harry Styles was to spend six months at AT&T Inc. of all telecommunications companies in the world, also known as the largest one in its field. This was the biggest deal of his life; it will both improve his expertise in the domain and maybe secure the job of his dreams. There was only one problem standing in the way, and it came in the form of a stunning, irresistible and intimidating cat hybrid of the name Louis Tomlinson. In other words, his boss.words

25) We Can Go On Forever (When Everything’s Gone Forever) | Mature | 39421

Harry spent most of his adult life focused on either his studies or his books - 5 of which he has already had published before he was 30. Immediately after completing his dissertation, he was offered a lectureship at Cambridge University where he’s been for 2 years now.

This wasn’t the first time in his life that he had felt the incessant itch to know more about a subject by any means. However, this was the first time the subject had been an Omega.

26) Canyon Moon | Explicit | 40895 words

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

27) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

28) If You're Out There (I'll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55916 words

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

OR the story of how one man’s love changed the world.

29) “If I Cut Out a Heart...” | Explicit | 66225 words

Stripper au! louis is a stripper who’s known for his huge ass. he works at a club owned by harry and everyone wants to fuck him. eventually louis has sex with each of the boys, separately and perhaps eventually all together in a big gang bang. lots of focus on louis’s big bum (even twerking, jiggling, etc.)

30) You Smell Like | Explicit | 185369 words

The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.24.prt.1

“What the fuck is going on with you this morning?”

“Nice to see you too”

Resting with his head against the glass wall of the shower, Lance wasn’t having a fun time. He’d thrown up, and was now basking in the revolting after taste and burning of his throat and sinuses. Hunk had had the best of intentions, but the flavours had been too strong and he was too filled with guilt to keep his liquid second breakfast down

“Are you sick? Do I need to call Coran?”

“My senses are a little too hyped. Blood makes it worse, so I’m super ramped up. It’s fine”

“You threw up”

“Food’s gotta come out some way”

“Ew”

Lance nodded, yep, being a vampire was glorious

“It’s fine”

“It’s not fine. Do you throw up every time?”

“Nah... and normally I don’t have an audience to my embarrassing moments”

Lance hoped Keith would take the hint and leave

“You better get your shit together, Hunk and Pidge are coming back later”

“I know, I heard. Hunk’s gonna he even more worried...”

“That’s his problem, not mine. Mine’s a vampire who’s clearly not okay, but insists on being a dick about it”

“I’m sorry?”

“You should be. What’s going on with you, is it just your senses? Because you look like total shit right now”

“Wow. Way to make a man feel better about himself”

“God! You’re impossible. Why can’t you just talk to me?”

“I already am”

Lance really didn’t want to talk. He wanted to find Blue and go back to bed. Keith wasn’t having it. Flushing the toilet, the hunter put the lid down and decided he needed to have one of those talks where they were both sitting. Something he sooooo wasn’t in the mood for

“You know what I mean”

“What do you want me to say? I had a really messed up dream and now I feel like fucking shit because my stupid brain doesn’t forget things?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t fucking know how to comfort people”

“I noticed”

“Fuck you. I’m trying”

Lance muttered under his breath

“Very”

“What was that?”

Sighing to himself, he raised his head to look at Keith

“Nothing. Look, I appreciate you covering for me. I don’t know why you did, but thanks”

“You could have just said that from the start”

“And you could have left me to vomit in peace...”

“You’re not okay. If you’re not okay, I don’t know what to do. Coran said you were changing, I don’t know what’s normal anymore. I’m stuck here and I don’t know why. And I don’t know why you keep doing stupid things. Why didn’t you feed before Hunk and Pidge got here?”

“Didn’t have time. Barely got out the shower and Hunk was calling to say they were coming over”

“So you weren’t trying to starve yourself?”

How stupid did Keith think he was? He knew he had to keep his hunger under control. He’d fed too much too fast. He should have stuck to his normal third of a bag. Too much blood had amplified the feeling of being alive. Stroked his ego and now he was dealing with his own stupidity. He hated the hunger. He hated not being able to keep down Hunk’s smoothie. Lance swore there were still pieces of kale and spinach stuck in his teeth

“No... Did Hunk make you a smoothie?”

“Nope. He tried to...”

“You’re lucky... are you going to be highly offended if I go back to bed?”

“Depends, are you going to get all douchey if you don’t?”

“Probably?”

“Then go back to bed. This time, try to wake up without looking like something Blue threw up”

Lance managed a weak chuckle. Blue had thrown up some spectacularly gross stuff in her lifetime. Keith probably meant hairballs, but he hadn’t experienced thrown up body parts before, or entrails in his sheets

“Blue is princess. Blue is perfection. She’s a tiny little murder cupcake of perfection”

“Does everything always have to come back to a comparison with bread items?”

“What do you mean?”

“You called Pidge an anger muffin before...”

“And you’re an anger loaf. You’re too fucking tall and grizzled to be a muffin”

“I’m not an “anger loaf”... what even is an “anger loaf”?”

Lance groaned

“I just told you, you’re too big to a be a muffin. Are you really gonna sit there and mock the guy on the floor?”

“If it gets the guy on the floor to talk to me”

“I thought we agreed I need a nap”

Keith sighed at him. Lance flinched when the hunter moved his hand, Keith’s brow raising in confusion

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You flinched”

“I thought you were going to punch me”

Keith rolled his eyes at him

“Paranoid much?”

“Always. Besides, it’s not paranoia when people are out to get you?”

“And who’s going to get your undead arse when we’re stuck out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere?”

“You?”

“Dream on. Can you get up off the floor now?”

But the floor was good. Moving seemed like effort... even if he did get to spend a few hours hiding from Keith

“I suppose”

“Good. You know, you’re worse than a kid”

“Yep. I grew upwards on the outside and not on the inside”

“I can tell. Either that or you were dropped on your head a lot as a child”

Jesus. Keith was snarky... but it was refreshing. Having him worried about him was too weird, but having him insult him felt strangely normal. Good, even. Like Keith didn’t actually worry about him, and that was how it was meant to be

“Probably. Probably dropped myself on my head too...”

“I can imagine”

Lance faked offence before cracking up into laughter. Poor Keith looked completely lost

“What’s wrong with you, now?”

“Nothing, mullet. Give me a sec to clean up, then I’m off for a nap. What are you going to do?”

“Play with my camera... there’s not a whole lot around here to do”

“That’s why I like it... Keith, you know, I know you’re the biggest dumbarse I’ve ever met, but I’m starting to think you’re actually not to terrible”

Keith shifted, uncomfortable but in kind of a good way. His heart was racing for no reason, but Lance could see a smile on those lips of his. Keith was actually kind of pretty when he smiled... pretty lame, yeah, lame...

“And you’re not too horrific for an undead thing”

*

Lance tried and failed at the napping. Pulling Blue into his hold, he groomed her thick black fur as she purred. She was a total slut for grooming. Bath’s not so much, but grooming turned her into a pile of purring goo. Planting kisses on the top of Blue’s head, she nudged into his lips

“No more grooming for you. I want cuddles”

Lance had given napping a genuine shot, only for his nose to decide it needed to be focused on Keith’s vanillary scent from the body wash in the guest bathroom. Keith hadn’t said anything about the options in there, and the hunter didn’t need to know Lance had wondered if he should buy him something more “manly”. Not being bugged by Keith to train felt weird. Lance loathe to admit he kind of missed it. Keith had a lot of drive, fuelled by the anger he hadn’t worked through. Without anything to channel that anger into Keith was left to potter around in a home that wasn’t his. It kind of felt like Lance was torturing Keith, a reversal of roles from when Keith kept insisting he was a vampire. Lance very nearly missed that as well. Yes, he’d been confident that he hadn’t turned Keith, but having Coran confirm it had taken a weight off Keith’s shoulders. He wasn’t Adam. He was lying when he said he was human... not that Lance had the full picture, and he wasn’t sure that Shiro’s version of things quite lined up with Keith’s. Keith must have been terrified he really was turned, trauma did strange things to the mind. He must have been terrified that Shiro was going to have to watch him change, then have to kill him like Adam had had to be killed. It all would have been especially hard on Adam, assuming he was a hunter, he knew just how vile vampires could be. Yeah, he should probably go check on Keith and make sure he was as okay as he was pretending to be.

A quick hunt through the house proved Keith wasn’t inside. Heading out the back of the property, he found Keith working out on his own. Damn if his dream didn’t come back to haunt him. Keith was focused, sweat running from his hair, yet totally in his element. For Keith, his job really was his life. He’d spent years earning those muscles in combat, rather than exercise machines alone. Thanks to his memory, Lance knew how to throw down, but Keith lived it. He lived to hunt the things they should all fear... Something Lance had once entertained the idea of, but knew his Mami wouldn’t approve at all. Plus, he didn’t want to end up on Coran’s disposal list if he lost control and lost the last of his humanity in the process.

Crossing the back lawn, Lance sat himself down a few metres away from Keith. The hunter so in the zone that he hadn’t noticed. Lance managed a good 10 minutes before Keith finally did, the hunter’s eyes widening a fraction as Lance cocked his head

“I didn’t mean to ruin your concentration”

“I didn’t notice you come out”

“I noticed. I was wondering where you were”

“I thought you were napping. Feeling any better?”

Nope. Because fuck if he hadn’t been distracted by the way Keith’s shirt was riding up

“Yeah, a bit”

Walking over, Keith flopped down next to him

“You don’t have to stop. I can go if I’m making you uncomfortable”

“You’re the one who looks uncomfortable”

That’s because he was. He could smell the sweat on Keith’s skin, a feeling welling up inside him. He wanted to reach out and brush Keith’s fringe back and he didn’t know why

“It’s nothing. You know, I almost miss you trying to kick my arse”

Keith snorted at him as he plucked up a stray blade of grass

“A few more lessons and I would have had you”

“Dream on”

“Is that you way of saying you’ve been holding back?”

“A bit. It’s hard to live as a human when you have way too much strength”

“Is that why you wear glasses? Don’t they get in the way?”

Lance took his glasses off, holding them out towards Keith

“We’ve talked about it before, but yeah. I see too much and I’ve seen too much as it is”

Keith seemed surprised as he took Lance’s glasses, holding them up to peer through them, making a face as he did

“These are horrible”

“It helps make the world smaller so I can focus”

“I’ve never really thought about what vampires must go through”

Keith handed his glasses back, Lance surprising himself by placing them down beside him

“Don’t go feeling sorry for vampires, ever. You do that and you’re dead”

“You don’t need to tell me that”

“I know you know the risks, but it’d really suck if something happened to you, you know”

Punching his arm, Keith looked mortified at the gesture, Lance unable to not snort in laughter

“Shut up”

“I don’t know why I did that”

“Because you secretly like me too much. It’s strange. I’ve never had anyone live with me before, other than Mami. I keep wondering if I’m doing anything wrong. If I’ve made you hate me. Or hurt your feelings... I’ve barely known you two weeks and I keep having to tell myself I’m not your friend. Maybe this was what Coran meant by our quintessence complimenting each other?”

Keith plucked up another blade of grass

“I don’t think I understand what quintessence is. Is it a fae term?”

Fae... Coran must be a fae. Lance hadn’t thought to ask and then it seemed too late too

“I’ve heard it mentioned between Allura and Coran before. It’s like the stuff inside us. That spark of life that connects all life. I think faes can manipulate quintessence”

“Like the way they constantly say “you’re safe” or “you’re in a safe place”?”

“That might be more to do with me...”

He’d been so scared as kid. Waking up in a strange place, scared of everything and anything. Coran had told him since he’d met him, and every time they met, that he was safe there

“Oh... I’m sorry”

“Nah, don’t be. You didn’t turn me”

“But still...”

“I have the feeling we both had kind of crappy childhoods”

Keith nodded, Lance noting the pain in the hunter’s eyes, he didn’t like it

“But look at us now! A vampire sitting in the sun, and a hunter who doesn’t know how to relax”

Keith dropped his head, Lance expecting to be scolded for “doing that” again

“I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

Keith raised his head

“I don’t know. I’ve never lived with anyone other Shiro and Adam, not for years. You say a lot of things I hate, but now we’re getting on and it’s weird”

Lance gaped, before smiling

“I know right. I don’t know what to do when you ask me if I’m okay. I’m like, waiting for you to yell at me or try to kill me again, and then you don’t and I’m like why not?”

“I keep thinking you’re going to kill me in my sleep, and then you don’t. And you keep doing weird things that make me feel weird. You didn’t have to go out of your way. You didn’t have to buy lactose free milk”

“I didn’t want to make you sick. You might be a total dick, but that’s just being cruel”

“I tried to kill you”

“You poisoned yourself”

“I yelled at you”

“You still do”

Keith shook his head with a sigh

“I don’t get it”

“I don’t get it either. I don’t get why we seem to be getting on better. You should hate me”

“I do. I mean... I still think you did something to me”

Lance’s undead heart gave a strange leap of concern

“Coran said there was nothing wrong, didn’t he? It was a clean bill of health?”

“That’s what he said, but how am I supposed to believe him when I’ve only just met him?”

“You can’t go wrong believing in Coran”

“He helps werewolves and vampires... he’s not even human”

“Exactly, he helps. If Shiro trusted him...”

“Then I should... but...”

“It’s not easy to trust when you’ve been kicked to the curb?”

Keith nodded at him

“Yeah, exactly. And Shiro’s not even here. I don’t have a target and I don’t know what to do”

“I don’t know what to do either”

“At least you have a job”

“Giving people advice for next to nothing...”

“It’s still something”

With Keith around, Lance had been pretty neglectful of work. He really should check his emails and contact his clients...

“I suppose so. It usually keeps me busy... I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not exactly a people person anymore”

Keith snorted

“I don’t think I’m in any position to judge”

“You’re alright. Pidge and Hunk wouldn’t be so gung-ho about you if you weren’t”

“I don’t get why they want to be my friend. I’ll be gone sooner rather than later”

Yeah. That was right too. Keith would be gone... a stupid prang if loneliness hit him out of the blue

“Yeah. Yeah. I suppose so... off to fight more vampires?”

“Probably. I go wherever I’m sent”

“Don’t you get scared?”

“Not really... if they’re hurting people then someone has to step up”

“Yeah. Keith, can I ask you something?”

“We’re already talking?”

Lance snorted, okay, he’d deserved that one

“Can you look up the status of vampires. Like if they’re alive or dead?”

Keith immediately frowned

“I can. I can ask Shiro, but that kind of thing usually requires permission”

Lance nodded. He’d expected that

“Okay. I was just wondering”

“You want me to find out if Nyma and Rolo are still alive?”

Just their names made Lance feel sick to his stomach. He’d wanted to ask Coran for so long, but was ashamed that he wanted to know. Shiro poking around could bring trouble... He didn’t want Keith and Shiro to be in any danger from those two

“Not if it’s going to get you into trouble... I just...”

“I can ask. Shiro’s been a Blame member longer than I have”

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s stupid really. They probably don’t think about me at all”

“It’s important to you, isn’t it?”

“They’re in the past. They’re not the kind of vampires you want to meet. I don’t want them knowing about you and Shiro”

“There’s databases for this kind of thing. The Blades take agent safety seriously”

“No. No... If I know... I’m stuck knowing, either way”

“That must be hard”

“Remembering? Humans don’t know how lucky they are. That pain you feel, it gets better with time, but... I’m already scared. I’m scared of when Blue will die. I’m scared of seeing her in any other way than alive. I’m scared that Pidge or Hunk will find out and hate me. I know... that I’m not supposed to be scared... but... Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get the better of me”

“You shouldn’t apologise so easily”

“When you get old, you feel like there’s a whole lot to apologise for. You’ll get it someday”

“No. I don’t think I will. You didn’t ask to be turned. You didn’t ask to be turning again... you should be mad”

“I’ve been a vampire for a long time now. Madness kind of fades away to acceptance”

“It shouldn’t. You were a kid”

“I was a shit of a kid. I always wanted to be liked...”

“Pfft, doesn’t every kid?”

“Probably. I don’t know. I broke my family and even after 36 years, I’m still fucking dumb”

“You’re not dumb... you’re stupid”

Keith seemed to really be searching for another word during the pause on his sentence, only for to him come up with “stupid”. The hunter’s eloquence rivalled his bullheadedness

“Geez, thanks”

“You know what I mean”

“I don’t know if I do... We should head in soon. Pidge and Hunk are going to be here shortly”

“How can you tell?”

“It’s the afternoon. With those two, it’s always best to be prepared for anything”

Keith dropped the piece grass he’d been playing with, his hands coming up to rub at his face

“I don’t know how to deal with them”

“Go take a shower and I’ll make you another coffee”

“I don’t know if coffee’s gonna help”

“Pidge would kill you for speaking such blasphemous words. According to her, coffee fixes everything”

“I’ll remember that for the day she spills coffee in her laptop”

Lance shuddered

“Don’t even joke about that. It happened in college... and fuck, I was honestly considering changing my name and moving to a new country. It’s not a sight you want to see”

“Noted. I mean, I guess I can force myself to have another coffee”

“That’s the spirit. Let’s get you inside, samurai”

“Samurai?”

Lance shrugged

“With all your martial arts and that... I mean, that looked like karate you were doing”

“Lance, samurais have swords”

[pyropsychiccollector]

So, to explain - this is the Danganronpa characters from Trigger Happy Havoc, listed from my favorite to least favorite. I'll go ahead and explain my rationale, a bit.

Starting with the F rank, Hagakure.... He's just useless as hell. A comic relief character that somehow managed to make it out of that shitstorm alive, and he's just not a very deep, amazing character. He's easy to panic and confuse - hell, at the start, he was so convinced the school was pulling an elaborate prank on them... despite all the signs to the contrary. And his talent of fortunetelling.... even the average of his predictions being right (30% at most, 20% at least) is pretty piss poor. Celes set him up as her scapegoat, and while that is kinda sad for him, it kinda loses its effect when you consider he begged for you (Naegi) to donate your organs on the cheap so that he could sell them on the black market so that he wouldn't need to dip into his own life savings to pay off a debt to the yakuza.

.... Like I said, not that great of a character, and I'm super annoyed out of everyone, he was one of the survivors. XD

Moving onto E rank... Fukawa's a little better off than Hagakure. She's a super downer to talk to, and will not hesitate to insult you to your face (unless you're Togami), but she's a learned girl and she made some contributions to the story, though they be few and far in-between, in my opinion. Her obsession with Togami is annoying, though, and like Hagakure she dragged out the trials at times because of her insistence on certain culprits (like Naegi, in trial 1).But.... still better than Hagakure, honestly. Her talent's hell of a lot more useful than Hagakure's, too - not to mention her growth in later games and anime.

Rank D.... Yamada just seemed so flat (an otaku to the bone), and Leon just didn't have much time for you to get to know him. You could tell he was a lady's man, a skirt chaser, and he let the life-or-death situation with Maizono get to him... But Leon did show, at least marginally, that he did have a love for his talent; he just didn't care for all the formal, traditional stuff like shaving his hair off. And Yamada... Well, he was used and thrown away by Celes; what sets him apart from Hagakure is he was actually stabbed in the back by her, and he didn't try harvesting your organs to repay a debt that was totally and completely on him for scamming the wrong people.

.... So yeah, Yamada and Leon are somewhat more sympathetic characters, but they're either flat or just didn't have enough time to flesh out.

Rank C... Ishimaru kinda started out boring with his by-the-books attitude and obsession with studying, but you could appreciate his struggle with effort vs genius - geniuses have to work, too, but in some respects they can make it look pretty easy. Having to work from the bottom up is admirable. Plus, you kinda felt bad for how he lost his best friend in trial 2.... On the surface that looked a bit fast for a friendship to blossom between two people of seeming clashing personalities, but when you consider they all had their memories wiped.... It's not that crazy; on an instinctual level, they were still probably pretty good friends, which is why they gravitated to one another again (that's just my thoughts; we don't know a lot about the time they spent at Hope's Peak pre-Tragedy).

Togami started as a prick and elite snob.... Not to mention how he toyed with trial 2 for kicks. It was nice seeing him eat humble pie in trial 4...And though he sent you to your death in trial 5, he had some development toward the end of the game. .... A little. What probably raised him to C for me was his characterization in the second game and the Danganronpa 3 anime.... Still a bit stuck-up, but he'd bonded with everyone in his own way~

Fujisaki.... You just gotta feel sorry for the kid. Had a weakling complex for much of his life, and it only seemed to get better when he got in high school.... A nice, loyal friend, and inventor of Alter Ego, who survived into the second game.... Bummer that he was the fourth one to die.

B rank... I suppose Genocider/Genocide Jill was just a fun, kooky character. No qualms about murdering, and she had a loyalty streak in her (not just for Togami, but Komaru, too). Plus, it was kinda neat her memories of the Tragedy were used to help solve the last trial of the first game. That's just me.

Asahina.... She was a chirpy, sappy, loyal girl. Bit of an airhead at times, but she made contributions to the story. She'd probably be higher if she didn't try to screw everyone over in trial 4, but that was mostly Monokuma's fault for the planted fake suicide note, so not too many demerits against her.

Kyoko... definitely one of the most useful characters, had a backstory, and all-around nice girl, if not a tad awkward because of not interacting with others much. Similar to Asahina, she'd probably be higher up there if it wasn't for how she screwed Naegi over, in trial 5... I get the desperation of surviving no matter what (to solve all the mysteries), and it being a setup from Monokuma again, but her betrayal still kinda chafed. If Alter Ego hadn't saved Naegi, I probably would have downright hated her.... XD I suppose she loses a few more points for being mostly reserved and stuck in her detective work.... But overall, she's a cool character.  

A rank... Junko surpasses Kyoko merely because she's a Joker-esque character. You still gotta hate her for being the root cause of all the misery, but the cray-cray kinda softens the blow. .... It's kind of like how the executions in Danganronpa can be funny, yet dark when you really think about them. And if you didn't have Junko, well, there wouldn't be any Monokuma.... and he can be even more Joker-esque, despite "just" being a mascot. XD

S rank.... Mondo was a meathead, and a jerk for punching your lights out in the first chapter, but he could be a real softie and loyal as hell. His guilt for causing his brother's death makes him easy to sympathize with, and his character flaw of easily losing his temper makes him pretty human. He didn't like murdering Fujisaki, and he was man enough to try and conceal Fujisaki's gender because it was something Fujisaki confided to him in good faith. A tragic character overall, but you're not annoyed by all the tragedy, like you can be with some characters (leers at Jellal from Fairy Tail).

Sakura is in a similar state. She's more level-headed than Mondo, but she can still get angry, and she had strong enough willpower to take her own life rather than murder one of her friends - and do it in a way that can make it clear so that the class trial doesn't drag on. Monokuma threw a wrench into that, of course, but it was still her intent to make it easy for her friends to live on. Her backstory with the man she loves, someone she acknowledges as stronger than her in spite of him currently fighting an illness, was pretty interesting, too.

SS rank.... Makoto's a pretty great protagonist - probably my favorite in the Dangan series. The "I'm ordinary to the cliché degree" routine can be off-putting, but he's got a strong spirit, and.... he's just a nice guy. Probably to the point of being TOO nice, and I guess that makes him a human character I can relate with... If he had even one selfish bone in his body, he probably could have gotten Sayaka to outright say she loves him, in the game. But because of circumstances, and because he thinks Sayaka is too high register for him (even though she's "interested" in him), he doesn't take the initiative and confess to her. Naegi just keeps bouncing back despite getting betrayed again and again.... Hagakure, Sayaka, Leon, Mondo, Celes, Asahina, Kyoko.... Naegi just keeps bouncing back~

And considering how I've talked about betrayals so far, you'd probably be surprised Celes is so high up there. But still, I find her to be a pretty down-to-earth character, a Queen of Liars, and a dreamer of dreams. She can be bratty, like when Yamada didn't make her "royal" milk tea, but I find her rage-induced states to be funny.... She's shrewd and cunning (save for trial 3), and I just kinda like how Naegi wormed his way into her heart, being the first of their classmates to reach "C-rank" in her hierarchy. Hell, she even joked about being pregnant with Naegi's child in that last free time with her.... You don't see any other girl doin' that in the series. XD

And finally, SSS rank.... the heavenly tier~

Mukuro's a badass and an adorable waifu rolled into one. Danganronpa 3 didn't do her much favor with her obsession to please Junko, but I do think she was loyal to a fault in that regard - otherwise, Junko wouldn't have done nearly as much damage as she had. The Danganronpa IF storyline, while fanmade, did a nice job of showing how Makoto could have affected her, and fleshed out her character pretty nicely. I still like her being a bit of a goober, being flustered at times, but I also like the badass side of her.... Not to mention her potential fierce loyalty to Naegi, if they'd had more time to interact....

And Sayaka, well.... XD I know a lot of people don't like her, but I definitely think she has more depth to her than most people give her credit for. I mean, think about how much emotion she showed in that first chapter - showed especially to Naegi of all people. If she wanted to hide her distress, her fears, why confide in him at all? If she was really plotting murder all along, why'd it take until the motive videos to "see" that potential for murder in her? She remarked how not talking to Naegi in middle school was one of her biggest regrets.... And isn't that a bit risqué for an idol to do? To reveal she has regrets at all? Japanese idols are supposed to be bubbly and love everybody, but she was pretty candid with Naegi in regards to what she thought about Mondo, after he volunteered Naegi to go find Monokuma's "motive". Sayaka betrayed Naegi, that's a fact; but it wasn't from the onset, and she most certainly didn't do it easily and without an ounce of regret in her heart. I suppose one thing for me that makes Sayaka's betrayal different from Celes and Kirigiri's betrayals is the fact she left behind evidence to absolve Naegi, to point to who really killed her (she even remembered what Naegi said about how to open his bathroom door). And what's more, she was conflicted enough that it led to her death at all. Kirigiri showed remorse over throwing Naegi under the bus, but only after the fact, and only made reparations after Alter Ego miraculously saved him. Sayaka's heart hadn't completely been in it when she betrayed Naegi, and that's something I liked; because it showed that, despite doing such a horrible thing, she cared about him. She betrayed him in a way that wouldn't physically hurt or kill him, and she hadn't intended dying on him, either; she didn't know about the class trial, and therefore didn't know she was endangering all of her classmates, including Naegi. It's very likely that had she succeeded in her murder of Leon, she would have confessed right away so that Naegi could live. For Sayaka, Makoto was a precious friend that reminded her that people can do nice things for others without any intent of getting anything in return. She loved his kindness, and was flattered he saw her as an idol worthy of worship.... despite how she confessed she'd done "bad things" to reach the top of the industry. Who knows what occurred back in their pre-Tragedy days.... The possibility for a relationship was quite high, considering how close they got to each other in chapter 1. That's just my thoughts, though.

[marshmallow-phd]

Shimmering Memories

Request: @kimminseok-love Hey boo! Can I pleeeease possibly get a Minseok mermaid au type thing?

A/N: This got really long. Oops? Partially inspired by Legend of the Blue Sea and Splash!

Genre: Mermaid!AU

Pairing: Minseok x Reader

**

You’d always loved the ocean. The smell of the salt water and the sound of the waves crashing against the sandy beach never failed to relax you. Whenever you were free, you would come to the pier and sit down on the faded wooden planks, leaning your arms on the horizontal barrier that kept visitors from falling in. You’d stay there for hours just watching the water shimmer in the sunlight.

But you never went in.

Ever since you could remember, you’d been scared to go near the water. You could never explain it. You’d never had a near drowning experience or knew someone who did or had any other reason to be fearful of the seemingly endless body of water. It was simply an irrational fear that kept you at arm’s length away.

Your friends constantly tried to get you to go out on the boats when they wanted to spend a day out on the waves and under the warming sun, but you always made up an excuse to not have to go. They knew of your phobia, but they insisted all it would take was a few trips out on the open water and you’d be cured. Not to mention finally partake in all the fun you were missing out on.

With a heavy sigh, you traced nonsensical patterns into the wooden beam that you rested your chin on. If only you could get over this fear, then maybe you could actually feel the water between your toes instead of just imagining the cool liquid against your skin. Would you be any good at swimming? Was it as freeing and light as everyone made it seem? 

The boards gave off a squeak behind you, but you didn’t bother to turn around. Your best friend Ari sat down beside you, sighing but not giving you any sort of greeting, knowing exactly where to find you.

The two of you had known each other since your very first day of school when you were only five years old. Being so young at the time, you couldn’t remember exactly how the two of you became friends, just that one day you were joined at the hip and never let go. She was your strength and support, the one who believed in you when no one else did. But she also felt the need to push you when she felt it necessary, a trait you could only appreciate part of the time.

“You’re coming out with us tomorrow,” she stated. The authority in her voice declared that no argument would be accepted.

You shook your head, keeping your eyes out on the horizon. “No, I’m not. You know I’m not.” Even if a twinge of feeling left out was pulling at your heart, you couldn’t make yourself join them. 

Ari let out an annoyed sigh. “I don’t get you. You say you love the ocean, but you refuse to go near it. Do you not see how strange that is? I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that you woke up one day and decided you were afraid of water.”

“I did not,” you snapped as you whirled your head to look at her.

“Yes, you did!�� Ari scoffed. She turned to face you fully, bring her legs up and crossing them in front of her. “When we were sixteen, remember? All of a sudden, you were terrified of the water. And you’ve never been able to explain to me why.”

“Why does it matter?” you whined. “Why does there have to be a reason? I’m afraid of the water. End of story.”

You hated the fact that it was true. There was no hard and fast reason for your fear and it drove you insane. You’d racked your brain over and over again, trying to fight against the irrational panic that came over you if you ever got to close. There were times you found yourself crying over it. It was like a piece of you was missing and being able to go into the water would somehow fill you up. But you could never do it. 

Frustrated, you got up to your feet and walked away from the pier and your best friend.

“I’ll be at your place around ten tomorrow!” Ari yelled at your back. You just kept walking, refusing to acknowledge her.

Why did she have to be so insistent about this? Why was she pushing this out of nowhere? Even if you wanted to be rid of this weight on your shoulders that didn’t give her the right to be so pushy about it. 

As soon as you arrived at your apartment, you flopped down on the couch, trying to figure out the best way possible to hide from Ari as you stared up at the ceiling. Playing hide and seek probably wasn’t the best idea. Ari always beat you, finding you quicker than you could count to twenty. 

Sighing, you closed your eyes and just let yourself dream of a time where you might not be so afraid. 

**

Two mistakes led you to your current predicament. The first one was oversleeping. You’d stayed up too late watching the latest season of your favorite show. By the time ten o’clock had rolled around, you were still out cold and completely defenseless when Ari arrived.

And that lead into your second mistake. Giving her a spare key to your place had seemed like a smart move when you first moved in here. In case you ever locked yourself out or had an emergency and she was closer to your place, she had a way in. But right now, you hated your past self for thinking of safety over practicality.

Thanks to those two coinciding events, you woke up to a swimsuit being thrown on your face.

“Ow!” Sitting up, you rubbed your nose that had received most of the hit.

“Oh, good,” Ari smiled in a sweet, but fake way. “You’re awake. Come on. Get dressed. Chanyeol and Jongdae are waiting for us.”

“I’m not going!” you insisted. For extra emphasis, you buried yourself under your comforter. Ari pulled it off of you with great effort, ripping the blanket from your fingers.

Your so-called best friend stood over you, her hands on her hips. “I’ll make you a deal. I have a coin here. Heads you get to stay, tails you go. Got it?”

Narrowing your eyes at her, you thought it over in your head. If you took the deal, there was a fifty-fifty chance that you would be home free. And an equal chance of being forced to go out on Chanyeol’s boat. If you didn’t do this, Ari would find some other way to get you out of there or never let you live it down, just coming up with new ways to try and get you to go.

“Fine,” you grumbled, giving in.

Smirking at her victory, Ari flipped the coin in the air and then caught it, slamming onto the back of her other hand. In almost slow motion, she removed her hand to reveal your fate.

And so, there you were, standing on the dock, mumbling to yourself about how you lost to a stupid coin. Chanyeol was putting the finish touches on his pristine boat before you would go out onto the water. Even still planted firmly on the solid dock, you could feel the panic attack bubbling up inside.

“You really up for this?” Jongdae teased as he tossed the rope that held the boat in place to Chanyeol.

“Stop it, Dae,” Ari snapped. Her boyfriend suddenly clamped his jaw shut. She was the only person in the whole world who could get Kim Jongdae to shut up. And in this moment you couldn’t be more grateful.

“Okay, we’re good to go!” Chanyeol yelled. His cheerful demeanor was easing your anxiety by a hair’s width. You knew that he was an expert at navigating the waters, having been boating since he was just a kid, but that only helped you inside the boat.

Without hesitating, both Jongdae and Ari jumped onto the deck, absent of any cares. You, however, stayed firmly on the dock.

“Come on, (y/n),” Ari urged. “Just get on.”

Chanyeol stepped off so one foot was on the deck and the other still on the rocky boat, perfectly keeping his balance as he held is hand out to you. “Don’t worry, (y/n),” he coaxed in a very calm voice. “I’ve got you.” 

Taking a deep breath, you gave in, grabbing a hold of his hand with yours and allowing him to help you onto the rickety boat. You ignored the built in seats and sat on the thinly carpeted floor, where you felt safest. Jongdae snickered at you while Chanyeol gave a look of concern in your direction before turning to the wheel. At the sound of the engine starting, you squeezed your eyes shut.

Ari sat down on the floor next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“You’re doing good,” she encouraged. Peeking through your eyelids, you glared at her. Apparently, instead of looking intimidating, she found your stink eye cute, confirmed by the way she patted your head and bit back a laugh. “Okay, now try not sitting on the floor.”

You let out a high pitched whine as she pulled you up on your feet. Chanyeol was bringing the boat well out into the open water for the group to get started on skiing. The waves created by the other boats zooming past rocked the already unstable floor under you. Clinging to Ari’s arm, you struggled to sit down on the bench, which was freshly covered in droplets, making it slippery from the splash of the ocean.

Far out from the safety of land, Chanyeol brought the boat to a stop.

“Jongdae, you wanted to go first, right?” Chanyeol yelled over the roar of the engine.

“Yes, sir!” Jongdae jumped to his feet and started strapping on a life vest.

Right. You should put one of those on.

Standing up, you searched around for another spare life vest. A particularly strong wave rocked the boat just as Chanyeol was getting one of the wakeboards down from the overhead rack. The force was enough to throw off Chanyeol’s footing, knocking the fiberglass-coated board into the back of your head. You went right over the edge of the boat and into the water that you feared.

The hit to your head hadn’t quite knocked you unconscious, but you couldn’t get your muscles to move, to push you back up to the surface where you could breathe again. Instead, you just floated in the clear water, eyes half open and unmoving.

Perhaps the reason you were afraid of the ocean was because it was always meant to be your death. Maybe this was just how you died and your body was somehow always conscious of it.

The lack of air to your brain was starting to kick in some sort of hallucination. Or maybe it was the salt water stinging at your eyes. Just as you felt your consciousness fading, someone - a handsome man with black and blue hair - swam through the water, settling in front of you. He floating there, tilting his head back and forth before a smile broke out in his face. It was the kind of wide smile that showed off his gums in the most adorable way. He took your face in his hands, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. Then he let go, adjusting his hands so they settled on your waist and pushed you up.

Through his simple action you were headed to the surface. And then, while he watched you ascend in the water, you spotted something unusual about the boy.

Right where there should have been a pair of human legs was instead a blue fishtail.

A mermaid?

Too soon, he swam away at hyperspeed and a different pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Your head broke to the air and your lungs gasped for a large breath while also pushing out a good amount of water.

“Don’t worry, (y/n),” Chanyeol grunted in your ear. “I’ve got you.”

You continued to cough with each attempt to fill your lungs as Ari helped you back into the boat.

“Oh, my god, are you okay?” She was crying as she pulled you in for a bone crushing hug.

“(y/n),” Chanyeol huffed once he, too, was back in the safety of the boat. “I am so sorry! That was completely my fault. I never meant to-”

“It’s okay, Chanyeol.” You tried to sound sincere, because you were. But even with everyone around you scrambling to make sure you would survive, your mind was back in the water, to that mysterious mermaid - er, merman. A thing like that couldn’t actually exist. Could it?

“Okay,” Ari sighed, loosening her vice on you just enough to sit back a bit. “You win. No more boat rides.”

**

The sand was soft between your toes as you walked along the deserted beach. You weren’t entirely sure what you were searching for. It couldn’t have been the person you saw when you were in the water. He probably wouldn’t be able to get this close to the shore. He probably didn’t actually exist. Just something your mind came up with from being oxygen deprived.

On the quick ride back to shore after your tumble, you wanted to tell Ari about what you saw in the water, but you couldn’t find the words. She would have just called you crazy anyway. And who know? Maybe you were.

It’d been a week since that incident. You still hadn’t told anyone, but Ari had also dropped the whole “get over your fear of water” thing, allowing you to stay peacefully on the shore, making it not all that bad. Chanyeol had also been around a few times to check on you. It was sweet of him, but you weren’t entire sure of how you felt about his kindness.

Ari was always trying to set the two of you up, thinking the idea of double dates with the best friends would be cute. But you just weren’t as sure. There was always something stopping you when it came to dating, ever since you were a teenager. Sure, you’d been on a few dates, but you were never able to establish an actual relationship.

Oh, well. None of that mattered or lasted anyway. Nothing real. 

Slowly, like in a trance, you inched closer to the water. A slight spike of fear still surged through you at the sight of the uncontrollable waves, but you were getting braver. Strange, as your incident probably should have reinforced it. But here you were, no longer stuck to the pier, instead braving the tide while your eyes searched absentmindedly. Maybe you really wanted to find some evidence that you hadn’t been hallucinating. That the merman was real. You really wanted him to be real. 

And then, like a miracle more shocking than walking on water, you spotted him.

You had to blink a few times (and maybe even slap your cheek a bit) to make sure that your mind wasn’t tricking you again. But he was really there, maybe just twenty or so feet away. Except now he had two human legs rather than the singular blue scaly tail. His hair was still black with strips of matching blue. No longer naked, he wore a thin white sweater and a pair of light denim skinny jeans.

You walked up to him, approaching cautiously as to not frighten him. He looked confused, searching around the beach frantically as if he’d lost something precious. Until his eyes settled on you. Then, that same gummy smile stretched across his face and every muscle in his shoulders seemed to relax at once. 

“Hi,” you greeted softly once you were close enough to him.

“Hi,” he said back with a slight bow of his head.

You couldn’t help the chuckle that left you. He still seemed so confused. “Are you lost?”

He shook his head. “Not anymore. I found you.”

“Me?” you giggled. “Why were you looking for me?”

Reaching out, he took your hand in his. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time.”

The smile slipped from your face. “Why?”

His smile, too, was gone, replaced by a deep frown. “It seems you still don’t remember.”

“Remember what?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied quickly, plastering on a very fake smile. “I’ve found you now.”

Keeping a hold of him as if he might disappear if you let go, you pointed out to the ocean with your free hand. “You’re from there, aren’t you?” He nodded without even thinking about it. You laughed, unable to fully believe what was in front of your eyes. “How are you real?”

He tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a….” You didn’t think saying the word out loud would be this difficult, but it refused to leave your lips. So you tried a different approach. “You saved me, didn’t you? Last week” He nodded. With that confirmation, you tried your initial question once more. “So, are you really… a mermaid? With a tail and everything?” 

Again, he nodded. 

You let out a short breath before staring up at him in awe. “How are you real?”

He frowned at your repeated question. “I just am. Same as you.”

“But now you have legs?” you pointed out.

His explanation for that phenomenon was a simple one. “As long as I stay dry, I can walk on land.”

“Okay.” You nearly patted yourself on the back with how well you were taking this. Your hallucination turned out to be real. How could you reject it now? But considering you were still conscious and taking this all in stride was still impressive. “What’s your name?”

“Minseok,” he replied proudly.

“Minseok.” You liked the way it sounded, the way it felt against your lips. A depressing thought crossed your mind, making you frown. “Are you going back there now?”

He shook his head, the smile now completely genuine. “Nope. I’m staying here. With you.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “W-with me?”

Minseok laughed. “Yes. That’s why I’m here.”

Before you could answer or ask another question, a gurgling sound hit the air and poor Minseok put his free hand over his stomach.

“Alright,” you tugged on his hand, urging him away from the water. “Let’s get you something to eat.” As you stopped to put your shoes back on, you noticed Minseok’s own feet were bare and no shoes were in sight. “Do you not have shoes?”

“No?” The answer came out more like a question.

You clicked your tongue, looking over his appearance. “So, then, where did you get the clothes?”

“I found them.”

You narrowed your eyes playfully. “You found them?” He nodded. You couldn’t help the snort. “Alright, then. Let’s get you some shoes first and then we’ll get something to eat. Okay?”

“Okay.”

It was undeniable how familiar this boy was. And he’d mentioned something about you not remembering something. It was beginning to feel like a mystery you wanted to unravel. After one rescue, he was so eager to attach himself to you. It didn’t make sense in your head and you wanted to know more about him and his cryptic replies. You didn’t want him disappearing on you before you could find those answers.

Shoving it all aside for now, you led him away from the beach, thankful that little shops lined the boardwalk for tourists and shoppers to enjoy along with the sun. The employees certainly gave the two of you odd looks as you searched around for a pair of shoes for the barefooted merman. You eventually settled on a pair of high tops that suited him just fine. After paying for the shoes, you waited outside as he slipped them on.

As soon as he was done, he slipped his hand back into yours.

“Afraid I’ll runaway?” you teased, even if the feeling was actually the other way around.

The look on his face seemed to convey exactly what you were feeling yourself. It seemed so familiar to you, the sad sheen in his eyes as he stared at you. But no matter how far you chased that feeling, it remained out of your reach. 

To make the sorrowfulness go away, you gave him an encouraging smile and pulled him down a few shops over to a little seafood restaurant. The front entrance was open to give it that cabana feel. A hostess sat you down at a small, intimate table on the patio and handed you the menu before walking away.

“Order whatever you like,” you offered.

Minseok smiled brightly before scanning the menu in his hands.

“(y/n)?”

Oh, crap.

Ari, along with Jongdae, came strolling up to you, her jaw hanging slack and eyes as wide as saucers. Unsure of what else to do, you just waved weakly back.

“Who’s this?” she questioned without even a proper greeting or waiting for an introduction. It took a lot of will power to hold your tongue. Sometimes she could be a little too straight forward. A little too harsh.   

“This is Minseok,” you introduced. “He’s a… friend. From work.”

“Oh.” She seemed almost relieved. What was that about? “It’s nice to meet you, Minseok. I’m Ari. This is Jongdae. We’re friends of (y/n).” Both of them shook Minseok’s hand.

“Ari, we should get going,” Jongdae reminded her quietly. “We’re supposed to be meeting up with Chanyeol.”

“Right, well, we’ll see you later.” She turned to Minseok. “It was nice to meet you.”

As soon as the two of of them were out of sight, you groaned, laying your head down on the table.

“Are you okay?” Minseok asked, concerned.

With your forehead still against the glossy wooden table, you nodded. Sighing, you straightened up. “She’s just going to hound me about you next time I see her.”

Minseok frowned. “Why?”

“Because I’m not usually the one to go out to eat with a boy, just the two of us,” you explained. “Specifically one that she’s never met before.”

“Ah,” he nodded in understanding.

Soon, the waitress came over and took your orders. You tried not to laugh at the strange sense of normality the situation. Who else could say that they’ve had lunch with a mermaid?

**

It’d been over two weeks since you found Minseok on that beach. Not willing to send him back to the ocean and there was no way you’d send him off by himself, so you’d let him stay with you, even though it was a bit awkward at times. Sure, you had to do a bit of shopping so he wasn’t constantly wearing the same sweater and jeans and have his own set of toiletries, but you didn’t mind. You did, however, go all the way to the other side of town just to make sure you didn’t accidentally run into Ari or anyone else you knew. You didn’t feel like answering too many questions about buying these things you obviously wouldn’t use yourself.

You felt guilty during the day when you had to leave for work. The poor thing was stuck in your apartment all day, just waiting for you to get home since letting him wander around aimlessly wouldn’t be a good idea.

Today had been a particularly grueling day at your job. You couldn’t necessarily say that you’d forgotten about Minseok - forgetting about the mermaid hiding out at your place was nearly impossible - but your brain was in automatic mode when you walked through the door. Usually, Minseok was sitting on the couch, watching TV and waiting patiently for you to arrive. But this time he was absent.

Heading for your bedroom, you quickly changed into shorts and a t-shirt before shuffling towards the bathroom. Without thinking, you opened the door-

“Oh, my god!” You covered your eyes quickly at the sight.

Minseok was lying in the bathtub filled with water, naked. Except his legs were gone again, his fishy tail back in full force.

He giggled at your embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I’m usually out before you get home. Must have lost track of time.”

Lowering your hands, you asked, “You do this every day?”

Minseok nodded. “I miss the water. I need to feel my tail every now and then.”

The smile on your face faltered. “Oh. Does that mean you’re needing to go back soon?”

“No, no!” Minseok readjusted his posture frantically, clinging to the side of the tub. “I want to stay here, with you!”

As much as that answer relieved you, you felt a bit guilty. Mermaids were meant to swim after all, but you never wanted him to go away. It felt… right, having him here with you.

Sensing your lowered mood, Minseok flicked the tips of his tail, sprinkling your face with water. That simple action made you giggle, gaining a gummy grin from the fish in your tub.

Knock, knock.

Still in a slight fit of laughter, you left the bathroom to go answer your front door.

“Chanyeol, hi!”

The tall man with firetruck red hair stood in your doorway. He was nicely dressed in a button down and jeans. As he was alone, you weren’t quite sure what he was doing here. 

“Hi, (y/n),” he greeted with a shy smile. Scratching the back of his head, he said, “I’m sorry for stopping by unannounced, but I wanted to check up on you. Make sure you were doing alright. You haven’t been around lately.”

“Yeah, I’m doing great!” He was always such a sweetheart. You appreciated that. But right now, you kind of wanted him to go away before your secret was accidentally discovered. “Thank you! Sorry, life has just been a bit chaotic recently.”

“Can I come in?” he asked, the tips of his ears turning red. “Or, actually, can I… take you out to dinner? Maybe just the two of us? Without Ari and Jongdae, that is.”

“Oh.” You blinked a few times, trying to find a nice way to answer. “Um, well… you see-”

“(y/n)?”

Minseok joined you at the door in clear view of Chanyeol. You gasped when you realized that the only thing covering him was a towel around his waist. It was very obvious how Chanyeol was interpreting the scene in front of him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chanyeol visibly deflated at the sight of your guest. “I didn’t realize- Um, have a nice day, (y/n).” He nodded at Minseok before turning and practically hightailing it out of there.

Closing the door, you turned to Minseok. You tried to look anywhere but at him, naked in your living room. He was… nice to look at. But you could feel your cheeks heating up and your heart beginning to race. Marching over to the personal pile of clothes you had for him, you grabbed a pair of pants and threw them at him.

“Will you put those on?”  you laughed. “And maybe next time get dressed before coming to the door?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled shyly. And then started removing the towel to put on the pants.

You squealed, turning around to give him some privacy. A hand landed on your shoulder a minute later; a signal that it was safe to look again.

A harsh line had formed in the space between Minseok’s eyebrows.

You’d never seen such a sad look on his face before. “What is it?”

“Do you…,” he paused. “Do you like him?”

“Who?”

Minseok simply pointed to the door.

“Chanyeol?” you gasped. The thought pulled out a short laugh from you. “No, no, I don’t. He’s just a friend of Jongdae’s. Ari’s tried to set us up in the past, and he’s sweet, but no. I’ve never been interested.”

“And,” he cleared his throat, looking away from you, “is there anyone that you are interested in?”

“Um,” you scratched your temple, unsure of how to answer.

Because there was definitely someone you were interested in. The person standing in in your living room. You just weren’t sure if it was possible, if it could ever work; a human and a mermaid. 

Spending the last week with this man in front of you has been quite the adventure. Whenever the two of you had gone out, it was never a dull moment. Minseok was fascinated by the little things around him, from the vending machines to the movie theater. His wonder was so childlike and whimsical that it never failed to make you smile. Sure, every once in a while you had to drag him away before he accidentally caused trouble, but you almost preferred it that way, keeping you on your toes like that.

Most of the time, you stayed in your apartment, teaching Minseok about the world on the surface; it’s technology, it’s history, anything you could think of. You loved cooking dinner for him and him loving every bite or seeing the light shining on his face once he understood something or solved a problem on his own.

Yes, the only person you were interested in was the merman currently living in your apartment. But, how exactly were you supposed to voice that?

You decided to go the roundabout way.

“No one out there,” you whispered.

Miraculously, he understood you loud and clear.

Slowly, as if to not scare you off, he lifted his hands up to your face, cupping your jaw gently in his palms. He crept closer inch by inch, his breath stroking your face with each release of air from his lungs. Then his lips met yours.

It was a soft, unsure kiss, giving you plenty of room to break away. But you pressed in closer, bringing your arms around his neck. His own hands moved down to your waist, holding you up against him. His lips molded perfectly against yours, moving in harmony. It was like being kissed by the ocean itself. 

However, the blissful feeling only lasted for a few seconds.

Though your eyes were closed, images flashed through your mind like a projector.

You were sixteen, spending the summer on the other side of the country with your grandmother. A storm had just passed, a particularly bad one that left the shore devastated. You were on the beach, collecting debris and clearing it up to be used again with a group of local volunteers. Seeing something strange underneath the small, worn out pier, you broke off from the group to go investigate. What you found was impossible.

It was a merman, with black and blue hair and a shimmering tail like a fish. He was out cold, stranded thanks to the storm. Kneeling down, you placed your palm against his wet cheek. The contact woke him up, making both of you jump back in shock.

“I won’t hurt you,” you promised him. Eyes scanning his form, you couldn’t help but ask, “What are you?”

You found the answer to your question very quickly as he wasn’t shy about sharing with you. He even told you his name - Minseok. A friendship was quickly struck up, the two of you talking until someone came looking for you a few hours later. All too soon, Minseok disappeared back into the ocean.

He found you again when you came back the next day. For the rest of the summer, you would meet him in a hidden cove, away from others who might discover him. You spent every second you could with this boy that fascinated you so much. You even taught him about the beach he’d washed up on and how to read from the books you loved so much. It didn’t take long for feelings to build up and both of you easily confessed to each other, sealing your hearts together. But your days on that coastal town were numbered.

The days grew colder and shorter. Your last day spent in your grandmother’s house came all too soon. Minseok held you as you cried. You didn’t want to leave him. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with this amazing being beside you. So, you suggested the two of you run, leave this town behind. You asked him to take you away, anywhere in the world as long as you were with him. You’d seen him walk on land before, he could do it again. 

But he told you no. He told you to forget about him, as it could never work between a human and a mermaid. You refused, angry and hurt. You never wanted to be without him. With tears streaming down your face, he kissed you. In what was supposed to be a sign of true love, he instead took away your memories of him and your love of the ocean from which he came.

Now those memories were back, crystal clear in your head like a calm, waveless sea.

You shoved Minseok away, too shocked to comprehend what had just happened.

“(y/n)?” He moved his hands up to rest on your elbows while his eyes searched your face. “Do you remember?”

Nodding, you looked up at him. “How could you?”

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I did what I thought was best for you at the time.”

“What you thought was best?” you yelled. Shoving at his chest again, you tried to bite back the tears that were pooling in your eyes. “I wanted to stay with you! I wanted it to be us against the world! But you took that away! You took yourself away from me! I couldn't remember you! Not only that, but you made me afraid of the water! You kept me away! How could you do that?”

“I couldn’t take you away from your family!” he shouted back. “Mine was already gone from me! I couldn’t let the same happen to you!”

“Get out!”

The words were out before you could stop them. But you didn’t want to see him. You didn’t want to look at him standing there in front of you and be reminded of the rejection he forced on you, of the life the two of you could have had together this entire time.

“I hate you.” Your voice was like acid in your throat, burning the sensitive tissue as the words came out.

Simply nodding, Minseok headed for the door. Before he stepped outside, he turned to you. “I love you, (y/n). I never stopped. That’s why I came looking for you. Finding you again was the greatest gift. Thank you for the time I got to share with you.”

He was gone before you could respond. As much as you tried to will your legs to go after him, they wouldn’t obey. Instead, you crumbled to the floor, barely held together. The sobs couldn’t be held back anymore and you cried into your knees.

It must have been an hour that you sat there on the floor. When the tears had all dried away, you simply stayed, unmoving. The apartment was too quiet now, too empty. It was caving in on you, suffocating and mocking at the fact that you were all alone.

In your anger, you hadn’t stopped to think about what you were doing. All those years ago, he’d pushed you away. But his intentions had been good. You were just a teenager, a family and a life beyond those shores. Now you were the one to reject him, to make him leave. And for a selfish reason at that. You were hurt, you were angry because he made the choice that you couldn’t. And now you might have lost him for good. 

What had you done?

Jumping up to your feet, you ran out the door, not caring to lock anything up or even grab your purse in your hurry. Nothing else mattered except with how fast you could catch up to Minseok. You kept running until you reached the beach. The place was deserted again as the water was rough and the clouds above threatened rain. A storm was coming. 

“Minseok!” you shouted, hoping that even under the water, he’d be able to hear you. “Minseok! Come back! Please! Minseok!”

Unable to see any other choice, you ran into the water. All your fear of the large ocean was gone. Your thoughts were simply on finding the man you loved.

You swam out as far as you could before your arms and legs began to fatigue. Floating there in the deep water where you could no longer see the bottom, you continued shouting for him.

“Minseok! Minseok!” You searched around for any sign of a tail or stock of blue hair. But the only movement was from the waves that were growing rougher by the second. Each time you opened your mouth you swallowed more and more sea water, coughing and finding it harder to breathe.

Not used to having to wade in the water for so long, you were losing stamina. Your legs gave out first so soon only your arms were keeping your head above the surface where the air was keeping you alive. Eventually, your legs, too, went slack, the muscles unable to keep going. You managed to kick your feet a few more times, but then the water overtook you.

It wasn’t any calmer underneath, the tide pushing and pulling you in all sorts of directions. You thrashed around, with your survival instincts kicking in as you tried desperately to get to the surface. Your veins screamed for oxygen. No longer able to keep your lips pressed together, your mouth opened and water rushed in, setting your lungs on fire.

Then, your world went black.

**

That first breath of air was like a cry of victory for your cells. The welcomed gas pushed the liquid out from its place. Someone sat you up, letting your lungs expand to their full capacity while you coughed up the rest of the water. Rain sprinkled your face, making you blink as you struggled to open your eyes and see how you could have possibly been rescued. 

“(y/n)! Are you alright?”

You nearly started to cry again at the sight of the familiar face in front of you. Throwing your arms around his neck, you pulled him in, conveying the threat to never let him leave again.

“Don’t go,” you begged. “Please, don’t go. I’m sorry. I don’t hate you. I love you.”

When he pulled back, you nearly panicked. But then he pushed a strand of wet hair away from your face, giving you that gummy smile.

“I’m staying right here,” he promised. “Right where I belong.”

“So you believe we can make it?” you asked, full of hope. He’d said all those years ago there was no place for a human and a mermaid. But then he’d came back for you. Did that mean he saw a way?

He placed a soft kiss on your lips. “With you, I can believe in anything. Even a mermaid.”

You giggled at his statement before pulling him back in for a kiss. The future might be tough - nearly impossible, even - but you fully believed that everything would be okay. As long as you had Minseok, you had the world and it’s oceans in your hands.

[mysteli]

Endless Summer Imperfect - Chapter 22

A/N: this chapter is a lot more chill than the last few and its more about recovery and processing. hope you enjoy!

Warning: T

Words: 9322

ES IMPERFECT TAG: @princessstellaris@mechaspirit@xo-endlessmayhem-xo @endlessly-searching-for-you@brightpinkpeppercorn@aragornesprincessgeekymamma @justboredtrash@diego-vii  @indiacater@countrymusicandncis-blog @zigortega4life@nekkidmolerat @ravengalaxia@ladyseaheart1668@endless-jake@theendofallsummers

Masterlist

Imperfect Masterlist

ENDLESS SUMMER AFTERMATH - ENDING 1  IMPERFECT  CHAPTER 22 - LOST TIME

Jake

Hmm. Jake contemplates heavily as his cerulean gaze remains glued to the television screen, where the live news is currently playing and talking about a pretty significant situation. There’s really nothing else to do as they wait in the lobby of the motel they’d found in the most secluded part of London. In truth, they are all over the news right now and it’s vital that they stay hidden. Problem is... they’ve all been proclaimed as dead. 

They all had no choice but to flee the scene when the explosion happened because as of right now, the whole world and Rourke believe that they’re dead. But no. They’re still alive and forced to be on the run. It’s nothing new for Jake and he immediately suggested that a motel would be the best idea for a place to stay, since no one ever really pays attention to rough places such as them. They walked in and asked for a room and they’ve been told to wait until their keys are ready or whatever. Bet you the locks don’t fucking work anyway. 

But the goddamn news has been exploding with their death conspiracy story, with Rourke finally revealing his face and identity to the world and acting as a saviour. He did an interview with the channels and explained the situation, stating the ‘unfortunate accident’ that took place under his own watchful eye. The world pitied him and were overwhelmed by sympathy. Now Rourke is set to appear like the one who will save them all. 

Clearly this was his plan all along. To vanquish Jake, Estela, Mike, Diego and Logan from the world and his plans. Question is, why them specifically and who knows what he’s gonna do with the rest of the Catalysts?

There’s also a huge story behind the mysterious bodies found of the Vaanti. But the world doesn’t know they’re called that. They’re just seem as these unknown creatures that were involved in the accident. Some people have even gone far enough to assume that they’re related to dinosaurs. What the fuck?

To top off the stress of everything, Diego hasn’t been talking much due to the fact that he just lost the love of his life. He’s been understandingly silent and he doesn’t care to listen or respond when someone attempts to cheer him up. There’s just no point right now. He has a right to feel this way. 

Jake sure as hell felt the same when he lost Mike. Grief-struck and flooded with the belief that nothing will ever get better from there. His recovery took a long time to kick in but all the alcohol and drowning sure made it easier to numb and suck up the pain. But Diego isn’t the same as Jake. He’s not a coward and he’s so much stronger. Hopefully, the road of recovery will be a lot easier because he’s got people helping him move past this. Jake didn’t have that and now he does. His only wish is that he didn’t make things worse for Diego when Jake stuck a bullet in Lundgren’s head right in front of him because he’s aware how much Diego despises murder and death so his heart must be sinking in its own personal hell right now.

Right now, they’re the only ones at this damn motel which is great because no one will recognise them and they’ve trapped in this waiting room for god knows how long. Usually, you get the key and then that’s it but Jake has been overwhelmed by the sight of this fake news story that’s been plastered all over television. Rourke’s clearly playing a game and his plans are finally starting to pan out. Maybe the group has a small advantage with Rourke thinking that they’re dead when they really survived. It means he won’t bother coming after them so they can lay low for a while. They sure as hell cant stay in London however. 

Jake’s eyes don’t shift from the screen and the more he sees, the more his body tenses up with uneasiness. He tightens his grip on his wife as he stiffens and she tilts her head at him with concern, following his gaze over to the television. 

“Baby, you shouldn’t be watching that.” Logan urges dismissively, moving Jake’s head away from the screen by tilting his chin and forcing him to lock eyes with her. 

Jake lets out a frustrated sigh and he’s clearly offended by the way Rourke used his own death to make headlines. “It’s just fucking ridiculous, darlin’. I didn’t ask for this. Rourke has crossed the line now.” 

Logan raises his eyebrows at him, sympathising with her husband while also being slightly confused. “But, Jake... isn’t it kinda good that he thinks we’re dead since he won’t come after us that way?” She dares to ask and Jake’s flood with disbelief in response. 

He arches his head back and releases a slow exhale out of stress. “Maybe but he didn’t have to tell the world that were dead.” Jake’s mind drifts back to his family and he hates picturing the sorrowful look on their faces when they read this story and see Jake’s death announced on television. “What about my family? Fuck my traitor of a sister but... what about my mom? What would she fucking think?” Jake ends his shaky rant and closes his eyes as his doubts and fears torture his conscience. Logan leans into his shoulder and cups his cheek reassuringly.

“Jake...” 

“It’s okay, Princess. They thought I was dead before anyway. This’ll just be an confirmation.” Jake mutters, planting a kiss on his wife’s forehead and he looks her dead in her ocean eyes. “I’m just glad I’ve got you back. For good. That’s the most important thing. I ain’t ever gonna lose you again, you got that?” The seriousness of his tone is enough for Logan to nod assuringly.

“Of course, Jake. No more risk when it comes to us. I love you too much to let you go ever.” Logan speaks in a fierce tone and Jake can’t help but smirk at how sexy she’s coming off right now.

“That reminds me. I can’t remember the last time I got to touch you, darlin’. How long has it been?” Jake whispers in a husky tone, leaning in so his lips are hovering over Logan’s and she bites her lower lip as a tension gets caught between them. 

“About two months.” She answers, her body reacting as Jake grazes her cheek with his fingertips but she sure as hell wants his hands in a whole lot of other places right now.

Jake is a little taken aback by how long it’s actually been. “Damn... well how come it feels like forever when I got to...” He trails off, his cerulean eyes darkening as he takes in the sight of her and only now does he realise how much desire he’s been holding in and bottling up. This seems like the perfect time to let it out. 

Instinctively, he plants featherlight kisses from her collarbone all the way to her quivering lips and he intends to build the kiss up when it arrives but Logan keeps it brief, leaning away with a weak smile.

“Jake... be patient.” She whispers, brushing his hair out of his eyes and his eyes her incredulously in response.

“Seriously? You’re asking me to be patient. Who the fuck can be patient when it comes to you?” Jake challenges and he’s about to go in another kiss but Logan plants a firm finger on his lips and that stops him in his tracks.

“Well then you’re just gonna have to learn then, Aragorn.” Logan tells him, dragging her finger over his lower lip and shooting him an expectant smirk. She shoots a quick glance towards Diego, who is seated on another chair with his knees curled up and his hands clutching them desperately. It’s like he’s looking for someone to hold or his dreamful gaze tells everyone that he’s reminiscing. Probably on the memories of Vaaryn and that saddens Logan so much. She turns back, her smirk now replaced by a guilty frown and she drops her voice to an even lower whisper, one Jake can barely hear. “Besides... I don’t think our PDA is gonna help Diego feel better about losing Vaaryn so can you just... wait?” 

Jake looks over to Diego, noticing how depressed the poor guy and he’s suddenly hit by guilt when he realises what’s really happened here. Logan got her soulmate back but he didnt and that make him a little envious of their reunion because he wasn’t able to get one. Releasing a heavy exhale, Jake meets Logan’s eyes once more and nods understandingly, sneaking a kiss to one of her fingers and she rolls her eyes at him in response.

Finally, the owner approaches the group and hands them three keys. One room for Logan and Jake, a room for Diego and a two bed room for Estela and Mike. There were only three available and they didn’t mind sharing so that’s what happened. Seriously how is this an approved hotel?! 

The five of them gather for one more conversation before they would head off to their rooms. They each grasp their keys and a moment of silence falls over them, as if they’re taking a moment to remember Vaaryn. 

Jake sucks in a sharp breath and suddenly swerves around to face Diego, tears rising in his cerulean eyes as he prepares to speak some saddening words. “Diego... I just want you to know that... I wish I couldve gotten there sooner.” He admits and Diego rubs his eyes, shaking his head at Jake and patting him on the shoulder reassuringly.

“It’s ok, Jake. Don’t blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault.” 

“But it could have been.” Jake counters, his hands balling into fists as his frustration with himself builds like bricks in his body. “I never told you this but... Vaaryn tried to kill himself while he was locked up. I... barely stopped him but now I can’t help but think it would’ve been better if he just... did it himself. You know, have the blood on his own hands rather than leaving it all over Lundgren.” Jake confesses and Logan wraps her arms around him in a comforting manor. Tears infect Diego’s eyes again and he can’t stop a river from pouring down his face. 

Upon hearing that, Diego hands his head, noticing how shame circles Jake like it’s haunting him. Diego exhales sharply and tries to act as a form of reassurance for the pilot who practically saved his life. 

“Jake... you just did what you thought was right, saving Vaaryn, and I don’t think you should feel sorry about that. Either way, he’s not with us anymore.” Diego mutters under his breath and Logan rushes over to wrap him in a desperate hug, trying to comfort him the best she can.

“Diego, were all so sorry we couldn’t save him.” 

“It’s alright. I don’t blame you guys.” Diego assures, burying his tearful face in Logan’s shoulder and finding condolence in his best friend. “I love you, Lo. At least I still have you.”

Logan leans away for a moment, guilt suddenly flooding her ocean eyes. “Just so you know, I wanted to save Vaaryn just as much as Jake. And I’m really sorry that...” 

“Hey, dont do that.” Diego urges, interrupting her before she can start placing the blame on herself. “You shouldn’t feel sorry for caring about the love of your life. I would’ve been the same.” 

Logan brings Diego in for another hug and they melt into a moment of true friendship. Once they pull away, Estela and Mike give Diego their own forms of reassurance before everyone starts discussing the plans for the day ahead.

“Alright. So we need a night to process everything that’s happened. Just get a goodnight’s sleep and we’ll all meet back in the morning.” Estela explains, her voice slightly strained due to her boggled mind at all the events that have happened. She was the only one that really had her head on straight during that whole rescue and her main concern was keeping everyone safe, which she almost did successfully. But so much happened to her there as well. Finding out her mother is alive and acting as one of Rourke’s puppets. Who knows what he wants to use her for? Probably his sickening excuse for an army. 

Mike glances over to Estela, sympathising with her situation and he’s almost tempted to give her a hug or act as a form of reassurance but in the end, he convinces himself to stay back and let everything sink in. He doesn’t need to add another weight on her shoulder about the question of what they are. 

“A good night’s sleep, huh? Haven’t had one of those in a long time.” Jake admits, running a hand through his greased hair. 

“Well, we gotta try. This night is a chance to recover but I know we’ll never forget about what happened in that hell of a place.” 

Michelle 

So still. Her body is so still. Quinn looks so peaceful in her deep slumber that it would be so easy to forget that she’s experiencing a life-endangering coma right now. Still, Michelle can’t seem to get her mind past that part. She probably never will, especially not while she sits here all night staring at a barely alive Quinn, who has fallen for so much over the past few weeks.

When Michelle was experiencing her whole pregnancy situation, Quinn was there for her and now Michelle believes she must be there for her. Because now it’s Quinn going through a tough time. So it doesn’t matter how many times someone comes up to Michelle and tells her to go home and get some rest because she isn’t moving until Quinn wakes up. Her mind won’t ever be at ease until she knows that Quinn is okay. It’s just not possible.

If Michelle can even be honest with herself for one moment, she’d admit that she is getting a little bit tired but she won’t let herself fall asleep. Not now. The night is at its full glory and that’s prompting Michelle’s exhaustion to start kicking in but she fights it off as much as she can. 

The bitter resentment of the disease that is trying to take Quinn’s life at this very moment is the most dominant emotion of Michelle’s right now and she can only hope and pray that Quinn finally wins the war and makes her way back to the land of the living. 

All of a sudden, the door to the room staggers open and Michelle snaps her head to idnentify the newcomer into this time of grief. She recognises the figure as Sean and she’s surprised to find him back here so soon, since she told him not to hang around and get some rest but when does Sean ever listen?

There’s a clear concern in his chestnut eyes and Michelle finds herself without any words to say to him. 

“Hey.” is all she manages to get out, trying to form the weakest of smiles but she can’t even do that with the way she’s feeling.

Sean approaches her with slight caution, especially as he takes her current weak state. He’s never seen Michelle like this before and she’s so wrecked for one person. It’s so clear what Michelle feels for Quinn and that only makes Sean feel like he’s standing in the way of something special when really he should encouraging her to look out for her health just as much as she looks out for Quinn. 

Once he reaches Michelle, Sean seats himself on the armrest of the chair, placing his hand on her shoulder and rubbing it comfortingly. He’s trying his best to be there for her but it’s so damn hard when the news of the abortion still looms over his mind. Can’t say anyone should blame him however. 

“Should I even ask if you’re ok?” Sean dares to mention, tilting his head to search her expression but he can’t see it while her head is hanging so shamefully.

A breathy sigh escapes Michelle in response and she runs a hand through her ombré hair. “I’ll be better once Quinn wakes up.” She mutters under her breath, her voice a mere whisper that Sean barely manages to hear.

At the mention of Quinn, his eyes snap over to where she lies and it’s almost painful to see her in such a sight. Sean has never really spoken to Quinn before. No one has really. She always kept to herself and never really connected with anyone, especially not the way she did with Michelle once they met. Their story has been brewing for months now and they became so close that it was set to be the most painful for Michelle when the time came for Quinn’s descent. 

“...How is she?” Sean asks yet another risky question and Michelle barely tilts her head at him, her frown faltering.

“Stable. Barely though.” Michelle responds blandly, the stress practically evaporating off her and it gives Sean an uneasy feeling. 

Sean notices how sleep-deprived Michelle is and his mind jumps back immediately to his comfort zone. Caring about other’s well being before anything else. “Michelle... you need sleep—“

“Quinn’s parents are supposed to show up tomorrow morning so I’m not leaving until they show up.” Michelle interrupts, determination flooding her features. 

“I’m not asking you to leave.” Sean corrects, stiffening as Michelle suddenly leans against his knee and he responds safely by slinging an arm over her shoulder.

“Sleeping still separates me from Quinn. And she’s not safe.” Michelle points out and that causes Sean to furrow his brows.

Come to think of it, Michelle has never actually told Sean about what’s wrong with Quinn. This is all so sudden. 

“Michelle...” 

“Yes?”

“...What’s actually wrong with Quinn? Her coma seems sort of... sudden?”

Sean feels Michelle shudder at his abrupt question but she quickly composes herself, her expression falling grim once again. “She has Rotterdam’s. She’s had it all her life. I found out a couple months back and this is the moment she’s been dreading for so damn long. This is Stage 4. A coma... and she may never wake up.” Michelle explains, her tone becoming more and more weak the more she speaks of the topic and tears swell in her eyes. 

Sympathising with her, Sean clutches her with comforting intentions, letting her cry into his shoulder and he tries to help her the best she can. That’s all Sean has ever wanted to do. Help people. Even if it doesn’t work out, he still tries but now he’s here and Michelle is someone he just can’t fix. No matter how hard he tries, he’ll never be an acceptable form of support. He’s living too closely to what’s expected of him and that’s perfection. Something he just can’t live up to. 

“I’m so sorry I asked, Michelle.” Sean apologises and Michelle just shakes her head at him with a clear defiance in her hazel eyes.

“Don’t apologise. I know how much you wanna help.” Michelle acknowledges and that’s when her mind drifts back to a memory that has become so neglected by her over her last few hours. She actually is consumed by guilt that she’s forgotten about it for too long. “I’m the one who should be apologising. I aborted our baby.”

Sean tries not to let himself be corrupted by grief then because he can’t afford to match Michelle’s vulnerability right now. This is a topic he has to fight with strength and deal with it with Michelle. 

“No. Please. I know I kinda scared you with the whole us not being ready thing.” Sean assures. 

“That’s never an excuse to kill a living thing, Sean.” Michelle counters, a river pouring from her eyes and once again, Sean realises that he’s not making this better in any way. 

Sean clears his throat and parts his lips to speak but Michelle shakes her head at him, signalling for him to let her go first, which he obliges hesitantly. Anything he says will probably make things worse anyway. 

“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to apologise. You just have to know and remember that this isn’t your fault. It’s mine.”

“But—“

“Don’t argue with me, Sean.” Michelle says in a pleading done. Who knows if those words were meant to come out as a command but her weak, soft tone prevented that from happening. “Just accept that. Please.” 

A moment of silence and contemplation takes over as Sean tries to process Michelle’s words. She’s been through so much over the last few weeks and Sean can’t even begin to compare to how much more emotionally strong she is than him. Sean is a coward, according to him. He can’t even accept that something isn’t his fault because lately it feels like everything is. All he wants is to tell Michelle she’s wrong and console her the best he can.

Alas, he doesn’t have a choice. Sean simply nods in response and releases a futile word that is accompanied by nothing but a mere whisper. 

“Ok.” 

Logan

Logan leads Jake into their assigned motel room by the land and opens the door with her intentions already clear in her mind. She’s never been more determined in her life to prove to Jake just how much she’s missed him.  He deserves to be able to forget about everything he’s been through and just enjoy this time of peace and recovery. It may be more painful for some but Jake and Logan are finally back together and that’s something worthy of celebrating.

They’ve barely made it through the door before Jake crushes his lips against Logan’s, having not really been given the chance to fully embrace the familiarity and soft taste of her lips. The kisses are not tender and full of emotion like they were when they first reunited. No, this is pure hunger and urgency, a desperation that’s caused by their dreaded amount of time apart. It’s been too long. Way too long.

Jake slams the door shut and grips Logan by her hips, pressing her up against the door and savouring the full feeling of his lips on hers again. All his thoughts have been on her and this reunion is better than he ever could have imagined. Logan winds her arms around the back of Jake’s neck and she lets her fingers drift into his air, occasionally gripping on a few strands and stifling a groan out of him - the sound like music to her ears. 

The moment seems so perfect and they’re both so ready to melt into one another again and it appears like it’s about to come true... until Jake suddenly pulls away, barely breaking physical contact as his hand mindlessly ends up fiddling with the hem of his khaki jacket that Logan still happens to be wearing. Logan notices an uneven conflict in his eyes and she cups his cheek comfortingly.

“Something wrong?” She questions, genuine concern flooding through her ocean eyes and she’s a little taken aback when Jake lets out a soft chuckle in response.

“No... everything’s fine, Princess. It’s just...” He trails off, his cerulean eyes burning into hers as he takes in her stunning features. Jake can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that she’s really here. In his arms. “...nothing it’s stupid.” He backtracks and Logan won’t let this topic go easily.

“I’m not dropping this now. Tell me what’s wrong.” Logan urges and Jake knows he has to answer when he realises how worried she’s getting.

“It’s nothing bad, darlin’. I just... can’t believe you’ve been wearing my jacket all this damn time.” Jake finally admits, hanging his head as he lets out a breathy laugh. Logan feels her expression falling a little in response as she grips the collar of the jacket and fidgets with it.

“Guess it was the only thing I really had left of you.” Logan murmurs and Jake kisses her forehead comfortingly upon hearing that. He can’t stand seeing her sad, especially with everything she’s going through. All of a sudden, a memory ignites in Logan’s mind and her hand swiftly digs into the pocket of the jacket, retrieving a familiar item, especially to Jake. “Well... also this.” 

With that, she pulls out the compass, otherwise her Ember Of Hope, revealing it to Jake and he scans it intently, narrowing his eyes as if he’s strongly debating whether he recognises it or not. 

“A compass? What does that have to do with me?” Jake questions and Logan is slightly taken aback by his lack of memory.

“You really don’t remember?” 

“Nah. Lundgren kinda mentioned that when I remember everything, some of the memories I had when I was clueless may have gone away. Looks like this was one of them.” Jake explains, his finger grazing the compass and Logan simply nods, prepared to explain it to him.

“Well... remember everything that happened with the Ember of Hopes and all that?” Logan eases Jake into it and he nods, letting her continue. “...This is mine.” 

“Seriously? And you never told me?” Jake acknowledges, furrowing his brows. 

“No... I was kinda scared at the time.” Logan responds, hanging her head in a little guilt and Jake tilts her head back up by her chin, looking her dead in the eyes and planting a reassuring kiss on her lips. Feeling revived, she shakes the shame off and continues. “That’s not even the weirdest part.”

“What is it then?”

“After we came here, I thought it was all gone but... Jake... you had it with you the whole time.” Logan finally reveals and Jake’s eyes widen a little out of confusion.

“What? Since when, Princess?” 

“You told me you found it on the beach one day and decided it was important enough to keep. Mainly because, in your own words, it reminded you of someone you thought you used to know.” 

Jake struggles to process this. All this time there have been so many signs that him and Logan are meant to be together but what baffles him the most is how different his personality worked when he was clueless of everything. So much more careless but those little changes like finding that compass must have made his alter ego shine through. 

Logan notices how quiet Jake and she waves a hand in his face, trying to bring him back to the land of the living. “Jake? You okay?” 

Out of nowhere, a grateful grin breaks out on Jake’s features and his cerulean gaze lights up at the sight of his gorgeous wife. Before Logan can even process what’s happening, Jake sweeps her off her feet and kisses her fiercely, a determination flooding through him like never before. He steadies her by resting his hands on her thighs. She responds by parting her lips a little and wrapping her legs around his waist, as Jake begins leading her away from the door and towards the bed... if he can find it.

Jake suddenly leans away, smirking at Logan as his hands hook onto the khaki jacket. “Sorry, Lo. I know you really, really... really love this jacket... but it’s gotta go if I’m gonna fuck you right.” He teases, knocking their foreheads together and Logan just forms her own smirk in response.

“Can’t exactly argue with that then can I?” She whispers, noticing his cockiness and challenging him. Jake shrugs the jacket off her shoulders and quickly connects their lips again as they swiftly fall back into their desperate frenzy of passion.

This is just as careless and desperate as their first time. When their lives were at risk and death was an almost certainty. When they wanted nothing more than to be with each other and use their last night wisely. They were new to each other but they felt so familiar at the same time, probably because they’d done it 2139 timelines before as well. But still, they were in need of each other and they couldn’t have imagined being with anyone else in that moment. It was just about them. And now this is just about them too. 

Logan lets her hands drift all around the upper half of Jake’s body, from the back of his neck to the end of his arms. Then, she roams her palms all the way up his chest but she doesn’t exactly make it to the top because of Jake’s sudden wince at her more firm impact.

In fact, he lets out an agonised groan. “Agh, fuck!” He curses under his breath and almost drops Logan. Instinctively, she hops off him in order to give him space and he involuntarily collapses to his knees. 

Now seated on the floor, Jake runs a hand through his hair as an attempt to soothe himself. It sure as hell doesn’t work as there is a never ending feeling of seeming like he’s on fire and his right peck is on fucking fire right now. Logan sinks to her knees and swiftly rushes to his side, cupping Jake’s cheek with desperation as she searches his dazed gaze for a sign that he’s okay.

“Jake... what’s wrong?” She dares to ask, starting to fear the worst.

“Princess, it’s okay. I’m just... bruised.” Jake assures, preparing to stand up but his wound prevents him from getting back up. “Shit!”

“Bruised, my ass. You’re hurt, Jake.” Logan corrects, lifting up his shirt to examine his injury and her ocean eyes widen at what she finds.

“Seriously? You’re gonna go all doctor on me now?” 

Logan brushes off his stupid comment as she’s too damn curious about how Jake managed to get such a wound. “Jake... that’s a burn.” 

Jake finally surrenders, his shoulders slumping back in defeat. “Ok... maybe Lundgren got a bit excited with the taser.” 

“Oh my god! How is this only hurting you really bad now?” Logan wonders, her finger grazing the outline of the wound and Jake winces at her wound.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s only starting to kick in.” Jake shakes his head and an unexpected chuckle escapes him.

“Jake, this doesn’t really seem like a laughing matter.” Logan points out and that only makes Jake laugh even more. 

“The pain just had to come around at the wrong time though, didn’t it?” Jake states, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes at the world. Logan immediately catches on to what he’s saying and can’t hold back the smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“...I don’t think a shower would be that bad.” Logan mutters under her breath and Jake narrows his cerulean eyes at her, smirking curiously.

“You kidding, darlin? Water will make this sting like hell.” Jake points out and Logan realises that only after he mentions it. With that, she nods understandingly and runs a hand through her platinum hair. It’s Jake’s next words that surprise her the most. He leans in abruptly so their lips are almost touching. “But I’m sure it will be so fucking worth it.” He adds in a low husky whisper, causing Logan to bite her lower lip in response.

“You sure? It’s gonna hurt.” 

“Eh, I’ll suck it up. Done it all my life.” Jake counters, folding his arms as the pain finally dies down and he can get it his feet. A smile crosses his features when he completes the action successfully. He offers a hand to Logan and she takes it willingly, rising to her feet. Their faces remain inches apart and that’s when Logan takes a chance to inhale his scent.

As expected, it’s pure crap.

“You really need a shower anyway.” Logan acknowledges and she expects Jake to be a little offended but he simply throws his head back and laughs.

“Well you saved my life, now you can save my hygiene.” Jake points out, grabbing Logan by the hand and leading her into the motel bathroom. 

Mike 

A tension creeps into the air, infecting the atmosphere as Mike watches Estela intently since she’s been pacing around the room out of stress for about fifteen minutes. He can’t say he really blames her. Her thoughts must be souring with the amount of lies that have been told to her and only recently has she maintained her memories again so there must be around a million things haunting and taunting her right now.

Everything in that hell hole of a place happened so fast and Estela clearly got the worst mental impact, considering all the things she found out. The worst thing probably being the sight of her mother, shackled in a cage like an animal. Thats how she described it to Mike anyway. It’s clear her mother has been manipulated in some way and is being moulded to be one of Rourke’s puppets. It’s clear the bastard is doing this for revenge as well, trying to prove to her mother that you should never double cross him. He’s torturing her. Manipulating her. Shaping her into a monster and that has to be most heartbreaking thing about this.

It’s Estela’s father and her mother. In this particular situation, it’s so easy for her to choose a side since it’s undeniably obvious who the real monster is. Olivia is a victim, lost to Rourke and she spent her whole life trying to get away from him with no luck. Now she’s the one paying the price and who knows what he’s planning on prepping her for? What would he make her do? 

It doesn’t make much sense since Rourke killed all the Vaanti in the explosion and he stranded them outside for the world see and exaggerate into their worst nightmares. Everything about his plan was private but now it seems like he’s revealing it all to the world. He wants their approval. He wants their worship. He wants their power and he wants to manipulate the world so they fall on their knees at the sight of him. 

What the hell has this world come to? It’s truly sickening. 

Mike never dares tear his eyes away from Estela, who still hasn’t stopped pacing as stress runs throughout her body. Her veins are popping with frustration and her entire demeanour is revealing her greatest weaknesses. She’s barely even paid attention to Mike since they got in here.

Sure, things are guaranteed to be awkward between them since they haven’t even dared to discuss the current state of their relationship status. They never really ended things on a breakup. It was more of thinking one of them was dead and thinking the other one had eternal amnesia. 

Mike remembers playing their story all to well.

When he was brought back by Jake and the others, finally regaining his conscience, he grew a respectful bond with the fierce warrior of them all, Estela. She was always a stubborn one, protective of the others but always cautious about who she trusted. At first, Estela was extremely wary of Mike, no matter how much Jake tried to talk him up. She was all business and did her best to avoid him. 

Then things kinda escalated when Mike found Estela sitting alone on the Dorado one night. They developed a relationship of sorts but never really confirmed it. They kept it a secret from everybody else, since they couldn’t afford to face the music. It was always a lot to think of and digest. So they laid low and Mike has to admit, it was one of the best times of his life. He truly loved Estela and he didn’t admit it to her until the last second before he sacrificed himself, watching her eyes flood with an emotion he’d never seen on her. Grief. Sadness. A yearn to mourn. 

He told her he loved her…  but he never let her say it back. 

Now… he’s found Estela again and she appears the same, just as confident, sexy, fierce, cold towards all the wrong people, tough, able and always ready for a damn fight. She hasn’t changed. 

But it’s clear she may not want to continue what they and Mike has to be okay with that. She’s going through so much right now and it’s already killing him to see her so broken. He’s just so good at hiding his worries. He wants to comfort her. He really does but he fears she may push him away and shut him out. Estela is complex soul with so many sides to her and Mike can’t say he doesn’t love her because he really does. He just wants to her to have life back and with everything that’s happening, that may not happen any time soon. 

Finally, Mike breaks out of his trance and decides to say a few words to Estela or at least try and get talking to her again because they’ve been so silent for so long and have even dared to speak of their current situation.

“I’m sorry.” Mike mutters under his breath but Estela definitely heard them thanks to the deafening silence. She stiffens when she hears him speak to her properly for the first time. 

Estela folds her arms as idly as possible and leans against the wall, finally pausing her pacing. It’s painfully obvious that she’s trying to appear as calm and collective as she can. She hates when people overly worry about her. “You don’t have to apologise. Nothing that happened today was your fault.” Estela assures, clicking her tongue and processing his apology.

“I’m not talking about today.” Mike abruptly corrects, a meaningful look hinted in his chestnut eyes.

Estela furrows her brows, bewildered. “What do you mean then?”

“I’m sorry that I... left you the way I did.” Mike admits, reminiscing back to the day he sacrificed himself for the greater good and Estela’s eyes widen in complete disbelief as a reaction.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Estela reacts, slightly taken aback. “You’re really apologising for saving us. Killing Lundgren.” 

“Well, he didn’t exactly stay dead, did he?” Mike counters, shaking his head as he seats himself on the edge of his own bed. 

“Yeah? Well neither did you.” Estela bites back, running her hands through her brunette hair and sighing intensely. Clearly, she’s trying to assure Mike that she’s okay with the fact that he left the way he did but there must be a feeling deep down inside of her that’s taunting her about some sort of disapproval. After a deadened moment of silence, Estela exhales sharply and clears her throat. “...Look, you did what you had to do to help Jake... Lundgren was so close to killing him.”

Mike raises his eyebrows at Estela’s assumption that his sacrifice was only for Jake. “It wasn’t just for Jake, Estela.” 

“Oh yeah, sure it was for Logan too. She was about to get killed as well.” Estela’s guesses once more and Mike shakes his head in denial, only confusing Estela now until she finally catches on and an irritated huff escapes her. “No! Please tell me you didn’t do that for me!” 

Mike silences himself, daggers made of guilt stabbing his heart as he takes in the violent tone in which Estela speaks. Her strong gaze burns into his and she’s almost pleading with him to tell her that this wasn’t because of her.

However, his silence is all the answer Estela needs. “Mike... I’m so sick of people dying because they wanted to protect me or keep me safe. I’ve lost too many people because of the claim that I’m in danger.” Tears swell in Estela’s deep brown eyes and she can’t seem to use the skill she’s perfected her entire life... hiding her grief. “I lost my mom because she wanted to keep me safe from my father. Now look where she is, a chamber of torture becoming one of Rourke’s petty little minions. I lost my Tio because some stupid motherfucking astronaut bitch wanted to protect me from the world. And now...” Estela trails off, her desperate eyes searching Mike’s eyes frantically and she almost can’t bring herself to say the words. “...I’ve lost you.” 

“But you haven’t lost me.” Mike corrects, rising from the edge of the bed and approaching Estela, remaining at a fair distance so she still has space. “I’m right here.”

“Are you though? You don’t seem like the same man i knew on the island.” Estela points out, waving her hand up and down in front of Mike and he furrows his brows at that.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re just... different.” Estela mutters under her breath, running a hand through her dark hair again as tears continue to pool from her eyes. “I just don’t feel the same way around you anymore. I would’ve thought that if you ever did come back, I’d care about you the same way I did before but... no. Maybe all the feelings I had before died with the man I used to know.” Mike is unsurprisingly confused at her words. Shes speaking so meaningfully, which is something Estela has never been able to do. How much has this timeline really changed her? “We’re all different people now, thanks to Rourke’s mistake. The momentary amnesia must have affected us more than we thought, especially for you since you died and came back to life. Everything about you has changed for some reason or maybe I’ve just changed. Either way... I know... I don’t... love you anymore.” 

Hearing Estela finally admit that she loved Mike is like music to his ears. But he can’t really appreciate her saying it because she’s using it in a context to tell him that he’s practically nothing to her. Like there’s no more romance to pick back up, thanks to Rourke’d experiment. Its truly saddening to Mike to hear Estela deny any chance that they can work through this.

“But I still love you. Can’t we at least try—“

“Maybe there are certain sides of love that managed to get through. Like Jake and Logan. But then maybe there are feelings that changed with the person. Like Diego’s tragic fate. All I know is that... I can’t force myself to fall in love with you again because I just know I’ll end up being the one who gets hurt again. And I’ve been through too much already, Mike. I’m sorry.” 

With that, Estela disappears into the bathroom, leaving Mike loveless and empty. What the hell is she talking about? Still, Mike has no excuse to argue with her. She has these insane theories about what’s happened painted in her brain and he won’t be able to change her mind on it. But no matter what, Mike knows he’s never gonna stop loving her. And maybe she’ll come through eventually. 

Jake

Jake still can’t fucking believe it. His Princess is truly back in his life. For good. Hopefully for good anyway but Jake isn’t gonna dare allow his thoughts to drift into dark places tonight. No. Tonight is about him and Logan and proving to her just how much he loves her, which he has done successfully, judging by the satisfaction painted onto her expression as they fall back onto the motel bed.  

It’s crazy to think that sex with Logan is just as memorable as it was the first time. When they wanted nothing more than to be with each other in that moment and now here they are, what seems like forever later, still feeling like the fireworks are a brand new feeling. They’re truly soulmates and no one can even dare deny it anymore. It’s not a suspicion or a theory. It’s a fact. They’re meant for each other. End of story.

Now they just want a complete night of peace, a chance to show each other just how much they’ve missed the other and they’ve been doing well with it so far. After an undeniably satisfying shower, Jake actually felt like a brand new man, feeling as though he’d been cleaned of all the trauma he went through when he was trapped in the clutches of Rourke and now he feels... free, almost. The happiest he’s been in a long time. Even though there’s still so much depressing shit going on at the moment, Jake still needs to appreciate that his soulmate is back in his life. Now he plans to never lose her again. 

Logan slowly snuggles up to Jake, resting her head on his chest and tilting her head up to admire his dazed expression. She can tell he’s exhausted because who knows when the last time was when he had a good sleep? His eyes are barely half open and she smiles at the pleasant sight of him. She missed these simple moments. The aftermath of a passionate night together and the sweet minutes of just talking and reminiscing. These are the times Logan truly cherishes and she would never take them for granted.

Noticing how her ocean eyes are so bright and full of pure happiness, Jake momentarily shoves his exhaustion to the side and turns his attention her, eyeing her with curiosity.

“What are you looking at, Princess?” Jake questions, not able to hide wide grin that crosses his lips. 

“It’s just like how I remembered with you.” Logan admits, grazing Jake’s cheek with her fingertips and he flinches a little at her featherlight touch. 

“Heh, glad I still got it.” Jake jokes, planting a kiss on her forehead and nuzzling her hair for an extra second. “Seriously though, I’m so glad I’ve got you back. I missed you so goddamn much.” 

“I missed you too. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t find you again.” Logan whispers and Jake can sense the pain in her tone. She must have gone through endless emotional trauma... all over him? Jake can’t even try and believe that. With reassuring intentions, Jake brings their lips together as he tries to soothe her slowly growing sadness. 

“I’m sure... you would have survived, darlin’.” Jake points out with a tinge of regret in his tone. 

“Maybe... but I still would have been miserable.” Logan murmurs and she can sense that topic is really bugging Jake, as his mind starts to ache with doubts and wonders that hadnt really bothered him until now. She reaches out to him and intwines their fingers, while using her other hand to brush the stray strands out of his face. “Jake.. what’s wrong?”

“It’s just... what if saving me was a mistake?” He suddenly pipes up and Logan’s sapphire eyes widen with disbelief.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, darlin’. I know that people think we’re dead now but... now I know I’ll never be able to give you the life that you fucking deserve and it’s killing me.” Jake confesses, pouring out all of his doubts and regrets into this one moment.

“How do you know, Jake? Maybe this just gives us another chance.” 

“Lo, there’s a clear fucking reason. Do you think I can ever go back to the States after this? I was barely safe when they hadn’t caught me.” Jake snaps, his frustration eating into him and he can’t push it away like he usually does. 

“But Jake...”

“Look, Princess... I know how much you wanna keep us together and I wanna do that too but... I also wanna make sure I’m a husband to you, not a burden.” Jake’s honesty is so real, as well as his concern but he doesn’t seem to realise that Logan doesn’t need any protection. She only needs him.

“Jake... you could never be a burden. And I’ve lost you too many times to wanna let you go again.” Logan assures and Jake seems a little more convinced as she stares him dead in the eyes, a solemness he’s never seen in her before. “This is it, okay? You and me. Forever. To the stars and back, right?”

Finally, the hint of a smile creeps up at the corner of Jake’s lips and he lets out a soft exhale in response to her words. “Right.” Jake eventually relents, surrendering to his love and he slowly brings their lips together for a tender kiss that lingers longer than it should. When they pull away, he knocks their forehead together and takes a moment to admire the love of his life. “I fucking love you, darlin’.” 

He truly can’t believe that she chose someone like him to spend the rest of her life with. 

“I love you too and we’re gonna save all our friends from this goddamn world that Rourke created. But you know what we have to do in order to achieve that, right?”

Jake furrows his brows, suddenly confused. “What?”

“...Were going back to the States.”

Michelle 

The next morning finally dawns onto the world and the light exploding from the window alarms Michelle to the fact that the day has finally arrived, leaving her completely aware that she will have to leave Quinn today and she sure as hell is hesitant to do that. Sure, Quinn’s parents will be here to comfort her and Michelle knows that they won’t want her hanging over their shoulder asking constant questions about Quinn’s current state. 

Michelle will have no choice. She’s going to have to leave and her heart is begging her not to do it but her body is desperately reeling with exhaustion, urging her to fall into her own deep slumber because she’s neglected sleep for too long. But she still doesn’t wanna go. She wants to stay here and be there for Quinn. But her family won’t want her to always be there. 

A nurse has popped in a few times throughout the night to check on Quinn, measuring her blood pressure and temperature every few hours. Nothing has changed. Her state has been the same since she first collapsed and who knows if she’ll ever improve or worse... 

Michelle quickly shoves away the thought and releases a low exhale. She glances at the clock nearby. Almost 9 O’clock. The nurse alerted Michelle that Quinn’s parents are set to arrive around this time and she wishes to offer her condolences before she’s forced to leave. With that, Michelle finally rises from her chair and wanders over to Quinn, feeling the urge to gain one more mental image of her before she leaves for a while. 

Quinn looks so peaceful and maybe this is the sleep she’s always dreamed of but never received because the burden of her fate was always haunting and taunting her. Too bad the circumstances are so grim or Michelle might actually be able to admire the woman she’s slowly falling for.

“I’ll see you soon, Quinn. Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you know it. And when I see you Lo, I’ll tell her about what you said. I don’t know what it means but... if you said it, then I’ll do it because...”

Before Michelle can get out her last words, she ends up trailing off as she spots a slow action performed by Quinn and her hazel eyes widen at the revelation. A simple stir of the hand but so damn important. It’s a sign of life. A reflex, if you will and it proves that Quinn still carries her life within her. The first smile breaks out on Michelle’s features and she can’t help but be excited that Quinn is finally revealing the fact that she’s alive.

“Oh my god... Quinn! You’re alive! Wait... can you hear me? If so, I want you to know...” 

Then suddenly, Quinn’s body starts to shake slightly and her eyes start to quiver as they’re about to open. But the way this awakening is happening is rather unusual. It’s not the sudden eyes opening that’s so sweet like you see in the movies. No, this is almost... terrifying. Quinn looks like she’s about to explode and her body shivers even more violently as the moments pass.

Michelle’s eyes widen at the current situation and she can’t believe what she’s seeing. One moment it seems like Quinn is alive and now it almost seems like she’s possessed in some way. This has to be some kind of sick game that Michelle’s mind has come up with. A method of manipulation. A horrible hallucination. 

But the more Michelle blinks and realises it’s still there... the more real it seems.

“Quinn... are you ok—“

All of a sudden, Quinn’s once dead eyes snap open but the usual sky blue ocean colour doesn’t light up the room so positively like it typically would. No... a neon, lime green light bursts out of both eyes. An emerald fire of torture hiding the hope in her corneas and Michelle is amazed by what she’s seeing.

What the fuck kind of sorcery is this? Quinn looks like she’s been possessed or cursed but what the hell is going on? This has to be a nightmare. How can this be real?

Now Michelle is really starting to feel her anxiety cracking through and she runs her hands through her blond hair. That’s when she starts to hear it. Quinn is screaming through an echoey voice, like a cry for help. Michelle can’t quite make out what she’s saying but she still manages to catch a few breathy words.

“...Kill... kill... kill...”

She’s just speaking kill, all over again. But then another word makes its way again, confusing Michelle even more.

“...Reborn... Reborn... Reborn...”

Now this is truly frightening. Michelle should probably go get help and find someone suitable to take care of this but she can’t fucking bring herself to move. She’s completely paralysed but she knows she has to help Quinn, if anything.

With that, Michelle paces over to Quinn and attempts to grasp her in order to prevent her from shaking as she tries to knock some sense into her. Just as their hands graze... Michelle becomes the same thing. Her eyes a flash a hot pink and she screams out in agony as she tries to maintain Quinn. Michelle feels as though a rose-coloured fire is tearing up her heart and the pain is almost unbearable as she tries to fight through it and take some of Quinn’s pain too.

What the hell is even happening to her? This can’t be real. This has to be a nightmare. 

Out of the blue, as the pain starts becoming even more severe, Michelle’s mind is suddenly flooded with memories. Her memories just flow through her mind, rushing through her body continuously and giving her a chance to feel something familiar. Something she hasn’t felt in a long time and it almost feels like she’s right back where she started. Her head starts to ache from the amount of memories but she also feels an endless amount of relief.

Finally, she remembers everything. Getting trapped on the island. Almost killing a colossal crab. Attacking a sea monster. Meeting a pirate. Absolutely everything. She remembers it all. Everything and everyone.

Sean, Quinn, Raj, Grace, Aleister, Craig, Zahra, Jake, Estela, Diego and... Logan.

Michelle finally is rid of her amnesia but it sure took a hell of a lot of pain to do it. She feels just as possessed as Quinn but only in exterior not interior. 

Then suddenly, the lights burn out, the fire dies, the voices fade, the shaking pauses and everything returns to the way it was, including Quinn. Still in her deep slumber and it’s like her sudden awakening never happened.

There’s just one difference, however... Michelle now has her memories back. 

[bugheadspoby]

We're both crazy. (pt. 2 of Obsessed with my Stalker)

*Frequent changes of POVS*

29th August

Forsythe Pendelton Jones Jr. got arrested for Jason Blossom’s murder and the whole town sighed in relief except for the girl next door. She haven’t slept a wink since the news broke out. Who can possibly plant the murder weapon in his locker? and where did they find it? She buried them in the ground, this was one of the few things she learned from her favorite mystery series but the questions kept on spiraling in her mind. Was it her stalker? She haven’t received a note since that discovery. What could possibly be cooking up for her?

Jughead saw her tension visibly. He knew she haven’t slept in days and he didn’t either because he was busy observing her through the red head’s window and he had all the answers she craved but he wanted to feel the tension she felt inside her because he was crazy for when she contracts her little self and her body tenses up, lost in thoughts, trying to make things right by committing more sins. They both were equally crazy and psychopathic, both about each other and the little world of sins they created in disguise. The summer camp in school she joined for extra credit was finally over, which meant no more locker notes for a few weeks but her window was still open for them and she anxiously waited for them to come. She craved answers and only from him. On the other hand he loved watching her loose her mind over the arrest of his father. He was a creep and she was equally sinful, this is what made them a perfect power couple in Jughead’s mind. — 6AM in the morning she woke up by the sound of alarm clock and with her I woke up too because the sound was loud enough to wake someone who is a normal human being and not Archie. She stretched and yawned and then got up from her bed making her way to the semi closed blinds of her window and there it was! an answer I bestowed her. She picked it up and read it and suddenly she smiled creepily and her body breathed. Her shoulders relaxed and a soothing expression covered her face. It was just like the expression of my dreams when I finally let her come and it is oh so good. Oh how I love it when she looks like this but I love it even more when she is angry and tensed, that’s just hot on a different level.

“I got you covered babygirl, now you owe me”

She threw the paper away and laid down again on the bed facing the roof and I could perfectly see her curves, with her chest heaving up and down. My inner pervert was screaming at the sight of her never ending legs and the tight shorts that barely covered her ass was making me hard again. The cow named Archie shifted in his bed just when I was about to reach for my little one. He knows perfectly how to ruin a moment and he never have to put any effort, he just exists and boom! it’s ruined. He woke up and saw me at the window and without any suspicion, which requires a brain, he just greeted and walked into the bathroom. I turned around and she was gone too. I guess my little one has to wait more. I sighed and picked up my bag and rushed to the school where all the B&G staff was having a meeting, well it was just me and Kevin until I got to the office and to my surprise I found someone special waiting, in a perfect pink tank top and tight jeans that blew me away the moment I saw them on her long legs.

“Betty Cooper? What are you doing in the Blue and Gold staff meeting?” I asked, trying not to stare at her legs. “Jughead! Actually Kev called me here but he had to cancel. Today is my first day at the Blue and Gold” she said with a smile. “You’re-what?” I asked surprisingly. The one thing I was good at was writing and now she came here too to destroy me with her sexy little freaky self. How am I supposed to do stuff when she is literally sex on legs and constantly forcing me to push her down on Kevin’s nice little coffee table and give her a feeling she will never forget. “Yeah..I know you don’t like working with other students but I really need this for some extra credit and also to take my mind off of some things too” —

“Betty Cooper? What are you doing in the Blue and Gold staff meeting?” I heard his voice and a current ran in my body. An electric shock that turned me on instantly. God! why does he have that effect on me? Why him? Why a loner, dangerous Serpent King who probably cuts people down in his free time turns me on so bad and I feel things that I never even knew existed within me. This is unfair on so many levels but BETTY! you gotta stay focused, come to the point real quick. “Jughead! Actually Kev called me here but he had to cancel. Today is my first day at the Blue and Gold” I said awkwardly and he just looked at me with his signature smirk smile and the next thing I know was that I was wet downstairs. Can’t he feel the tension in the air? Can’t he just take me right there on Kev’s table? This is so bullshit. “You’re-what?” he asked surprisingly. “Yeah..I know you don’t like working with other students but I really need this for some extra credit and also to take my mind off of some things too” I blurted and regreted instantly. TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR SOMEONE WHO IS PROBABLY YOUR STALKER BETTY! my mind yelled at me and he just kept on looking at me with creepy eyes. “What’s wrong Betty?” he asked in a dead serious tone and his voice turned cold. “Nothing just..typical family drama” I said fidgeting with my fingers. “I-Its fine Betts! You’re welcome to join!” he said after an interval and I smiled at him. “oh and theres this article that I’m working on and I was hoping Kevin will edit it but since hes M.I.A and you are newly recruited..you have to do it for me!” he commanded handing me a file and I was dying to say YES SIR but that would be awkward. “Yeah I will edit it till tomorrow” “Oh actually no! I want it in the next paper so tonight is the deadline” his expressions changed from soft to I don’t know what but he definitely had some mischief in his mind being all bossy. “Oh-um okay I will just drop it by then. Where will you be at night?” OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW BETTY! DUH. “Whyte Wyrm!” he spurted and my veins sparked. “Wh-wyrm? You know I can’t be there Jug!” “Why the hell not?” he asked. “Last time I was there at your crowning some freak threatened me because I’m a damn northsider” I said going down the awful memory lane. “Tall Boy? he won’t be a problem this time and.. since my dad..” he said and then stopped in between looking at the ground and I felt utter guiltiness in my veins. I was the damn reason his father was behind bars for something I did and my crazy stalker covered it up for me by sending the father of the boy I’m nuts for, to jail! How fortunate I am! “He’s not..around much since then” he completed. “Oh..I’m sorry Jug!” Okay Betty! time to get on point. Remember why you’re here in the first place. I took his hand and he looked up to me. “How are you holding up?” Perfect! I give perfect fake gestures of sympathy despite of the fact that I was having multiple wars inside my head, drowning in guilt and angry about my stalker but still.. looking at him, the feeling was getting stronger and I was two steps closer to my next mistake. He always makes me do things that my fake perfect self would never even think about. I was dangerous and it was all because of him and God knows what kind of drastic effect he has on me. “I’m okay..I guess” he said “he was never a good father or a good husband and he actually found his place.. Where a criminal like him belongs.. He’ll be at peace now for the rest of his life” once again my mind shouted at me. How about you use him to get to that skank? Would that be selfish? Who cares? I’m doing it. It’s time to play his dirty game my way. You’re doing good Betty just keep going. — “Last time I was there at your crowning some freak threatened me because I’m a damn northsider” she blurted. I remember that day clearly. She was standing far off with the Lodge bitch and I gifted Fangs a punch for flirting with Betty. Sweet Pea’s father the oldest living serpent scumbag gave me the crown and she stood there smiling as I wore it. She looked like a walking sex in the blue satin shirt and tight pink skirt with her hair down. I was so happy looking at her when my father brought a pink haired bitch in front of me and pronounced her my Queen without even asking what or who I want. The next day she was found dead in her trailer.

“Tall Boy? he won’t be a problem this time and.. since my dad..” I stopped in between to observe her reaction. I could see her guilt through her eyes and I was loving it. If only she knew what effect she has on me. She makes me go all crazy but what I hate the most is that I’ve had enough of suffering the madness all alone. I want her in it too. I want her to feel the same things I’ve felt. “He’s not..around much since then” I completed.

He’s not around because of me and nobody knows what went down in the wyrm the night Tall Boy came out to me about my plans and her crimes.

*flashback*

“I know what you’re doing boy” he shouted at me while a cigarette hung in between my lips. “You can’t pin all this on your father! You bastard!” “Easy Tall Boy. You don’t wanna mess with the king!” I smirked. “He is the one who made you King and you’re doing this bullshit to him?! To your father?” he shouted again. “Yeah I know..He is the one who dragged me in the serpents, he is the reason my mom left me and he is the damn reason JB died so yeah he deserves it!” I shouted back. “And you can’t possibly do anything to change my mind because THAT TIP has already been sent to the sheriff” I said and turned around until he spoke again. “I know who killed that Blossom boy and I know you’re doing this for that Cooper bitch” he spurted as my eyes turned red in anger. “I know she is the one who poisoned my niece and then her bitch mother published it as an Overdose of Jingle Jangle in her newspaper” I punched him before he could say more. Blood splattered from his face as he tried to maintain his balance. “Don’t you fucking dare disrespect your queen Tall Boy” I said and walked away trying to control my anger and planning to get rid of him. And the next day he was missing.

“I’ll see you tonight Betty!” I said patting her back and leaving the room before I do something stupid because boy Archie is having a deep influence on me nowadays. Half of my days pass by thinking about Betty and her legs and the other half goes thinking that how can a man be possibly as brainless as Archie is. I guess I’ll never know.

After leaving school I went straight to Tall Boy just to make sure he’s still alive for a fresh punch because that bastard doesn't even deserve to die this soon after disrespecting Betty. I turned on the lights of the abandoned trailer and saw him awake, still struggling to let himself out of the chains I tied him with. “Are you ready for your final punishment Tall Boy? Do you have any last wish?” I smirked. “You’re not gonna get away with this!” he said. “Oh come on Tall Boy! last time I was here you were pleading for your life. Why this change all of a sudden?” “You will pay! Just wait and watch! she’ll slit your throat the way she did to the Blossom boy and then send your chopped up body to the serpents” “You have no idea what I’ll do to her once I’ll get her Tall Boy! She’s gonna be my perfect queen” I whispered. “But too bad you’re not gonna be there to see it when we’ll have the ceremony after the night I mark her” I laughed and took out my pocket knife. “Say goodbye to the world you worthless snake” “Before you kill me! Remember that JellyBean died because of you! not because of FP” he blurted as my eyes turned red once again and I slit his throat twice just to make sure that bearded bitch dies painfully and left not knowing why my eyes were raining all of a sudden. All the way back to Archie’s home I couldn't stop thinking about what he said but to distract myself I tried thinking about the night I’ll get my hands on her. Oh Betty! You have no idea..I will woo you in a dark place but unlike him you’ll be lying in my bed instead of a grave and screaming my name instead of screaming for mercy. — I was pretty nervous while getting ready for the Wyrm with the intention of getting laid tonight and I’m not complaining when it comes to the boy of my sinister dreams..I’ll let him do anything he wants to do to me even if its on a snooker table in the Wyrm.. What a fantasy Betty! I want everything to be perfect. I want to look irresistible and I want to bring his inner perv out and then I’ll make him go even more crazier.

I did the right thing! Toni was never the right one for Jughead and he surely doesn't know what I did to her little faux pink bitch. 

I was, I am and I will be the perfect one for him no matter what happens. He needs a woman like me who is deadly, sinful and head over heels in love with him, drowning in his lust and craving him since the day she found out that he likes to see her naked. He is such a beautiful emerald eyed, raven haired walking sin that with every look he makes me want to rip off that snake skin from his body and cherish him by tasting every inch of him.

Oh Juggy! I’ve committed so many sins for you and now I’m gonna take what’s rightfully mine. YOU. TONIGHT!

[foundcarcosa]

cccxxix.

what is your middle name?: >> Frey. what’s your favorite lyric or quote?: >> *the ‘fear is the mind-killer’ litany floats through my head again* do you support abortion?: >> I support the right to get one if one chooses. last nightmare you had?: >> I really don’t remember. who was your first crush?: >> Well, Matt Damon, probably. Or Yul Brynner. I don’t know, I didn’t realise what crushes actually were until around middle school, and these two are from before then, so my memory is vaguer.

what is an annoying overused phrase?: >> “You are valid.” What does that even mean anymore? What am I going to do with that affirmation? Throw a party? what’s usually your last thought falling asleep?: >> I don’t know. The passage into sleep is such a nebulous and sneaky one that I can’t imagine how I’m supposed to figure out what my last thought was. Thoughts generally flow into preliminary dreams, anyway, so there’s no “last” thought. Just... a changing of thoughts into other things. what’s one thing someone said to you that has always stuck in your memory?: >> Predictably, I can’t think of anything off the top of my head. ever agreed with a punishment your parents gave you?: >> Of course not, I hate being punished. Just because the punishment may have been just doesn’t mean I’m gonna like it! do you like to be anti-social sometimes?: >> No. I like to be quiet and undisturbed sometimes, especially for the sake of focusing on an activity, but that is in no way anti-social behaviour. what was your childhood dream job?: >> I didn’t have one. would you ever adopt a kid?: >> Sure. ever did something you swore to yourself you never would?: >> Well, yeah, probably. what color is your toothpaste?: >> White. have you ever faked your identity on the net?: >> Nah. It never occurred to me to do that; I already contain multitudes, so I have a lot of myself to choose from when it comes to image presentation. I don’t need to fake anything. do you like roller coasters?: >> Sure. how do you feel on new years eve?: >> A low-key excitement. I enjoy the ritualistic torch-passing from one year to the next, and I always enjoy the feeling of a fresh start.  which friend is the most understanding of you?: >> I don’t know. what turns you off about a guy?: >> Hm.

what’s the weirdest thing you ever ate?: >> I’m really not sure. From my point of view, nothing I’ve eaten is particularly weird. whats your opinion on the movie napoleon dynamite?: >> I didn’t like it. have you ever chased a pigeon?: >> Nah. ever done something mean to a teacher?: >> So once in high school, I want to say tenth grade? I had this teacher named Mr Stanley. And I don’t remember what it was about Mr Stanley that annoyed me, or what he’d done to make me feel petty, but honestly I stopped getting along with teachers in middle school anyway, once it was realised that I wasn’t going to be teacher’s pet/the Smart child anymore. So maybe I was just being a bitch. But either way, The Sixth Sense was still fresh in my mind at the time, and one day on the back of my homework I wrote “Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley!” Mr Stanley, mind you, did not stutter. I was just making an annoying reference. Like I said, I don’t fuckin know why. I was a teenager, man, and not a happy or sane one either. So then when Mr Stanley sees it, he gets mad as hell and gets in my face (he was tall, too) and is just bitching me out. I don’t know why he got quite so mad lmao. Maybe he... was a stutterer, once. Wouldn’t that be wild? are you a fan of ipods?: >> No. I used to be, especially when they were a new thing, but meh. whats the biggest thing you considered stealing?: >> I don’t know. Nothing huge, I’d imagine. I’m not that good of a thief. ever been so scared you stayed up with the lights on?: >> Nah. ever ran away from home?: >> I ran away from a place that wasn’t at all home for me. what’s the worst thing your parents have said to you?: >> I don’t recall my father saying anything particularly awful to me. That wasn’t really his style. how many times have you cried yourself to sleep?: >> I have no way of knowing. would you ever sky dive?: >> I’d like to. could you handle eating a bug?: >> I could. Wouldn’t be the easiest thing in the world, but it sure wouldn’t be the hardest. have you ever intentionally been a bitch?: >> Yes. ever felt like you could really be considered crazy?: >> Well, of course. do you think time travel is truly possible?: >> I don’t know enough about the subject of time to form a concrete opinion. think you can dance?: >> Yes, but I’d certainly be able to dance better if I practiced. do you still ride in shopping carts?: >> No. I think I could still fit, but getting in and out is a lot harder at this size. ever seen a Broadway play?: >> No. I’d like to. can you honestly say you’ve felt like not being alive?: >> Sure. if you could choose how to die, how would it happen?: >> I’d be old and happily tired, and it’d happen in my sleep. what is your reaction when you see the person who gives you butterflies?: >> I don’t know what that feels like. I understand it’s probably mostly metaphorical (I say mostly because I think the physical sensation is also a thing that some people must be experiencing?), but I... am not entirely sure what the metaphor is standing for. weirdest dream you can remember is…: >> Hm. Raining with sun out or snowing at night time?: >> Nighttime snow is very calming. I mean, unless you have to drive in the morning. LOL instead of roses, you’d rather receive which type of flower?: >> Sunflowers. Or anything interesting-looking, really. Or nothing. Because cut flowers are a strange gift to me. You cut a plant and doomed it to an unnatural death just to... give it to me. I don’t think I want that. Give me a living plant instead (one that I can realistically take care of, obviously, not something that requires a real garden and full sun or something). romantic ending or realistic ending in a movie?: >> I thought the point of movies was to be transported from reality, honestly. I don’t understand the obsession with realism. at this moment, whose arms would you like wrapped around you?: >> I mean, no one’s, because it’s hot. if you had telepathy, would you tell anyone?: >> I don’t know. I can’t even imagine having telepathy. The power actually doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, because of how brains work, and also because you’d literally be too full of input to... do anything. Telepathy with filtering capability is a little less nonsensical to me. if you could, what color would you paint the sky?: >> That’s not how skies work anyway. what disease would you pick to instantly cure?: >> I don’t want that sort of responsibility. if you could go back in time, what age would you go to?: >> No. is there one major thing you want to accomplish before you die (of old age)?: >> No. who do you want to talk to right this moment?: >> Hm. if you could tell the world one thing about you, what would it be?: >> No. who’s the one person you wish you could apologize to right now, for whatever reason?: >> --- what’s the least favorite part on your body?: >> Hm. who would you honestly give up your own life for?: >> I would give up life for no one. what’s the one thing you don’t like to joke around about?: >> For the most part, I don’t like jokes at the expense of people, particularly about things they can’t control or didn’t choose. Like, friends roasting me for my personality or something, sure. That’s fun. Making fun of white people for not seasoning food? All day every day. Making fun of drug addicts, or poor people, or people from other countries that you don’t understand? I’ll pass. do you think you’re intelligent?: >> Sure. I also think I’m dumb as hell. Both are true. We can’t possibly be smart about everything. do other people’s opinions of your beliefs matter to you?: >> They’re interesting sometimes, and sometimes I might even take them into consideration, but a lot of the times they’re just unsolicited and irrelevant -- not to mention arrogantly or insensitively presented. what quality in someone else just pisses you off?: >> Hm. favorite tv show as a little kid?: >> I didn’t have one. what do you like most about winter?: >> At this point, I’m so tired of winter that I can’t think about it positively. Ask me again in late July. what sound makes you cringe?: >> The sound of the dumpsters being emptied, because they have to bang it a couple of times to get all the stuff out.  do the standards of society matter to you in any way?: >> They matter when I have to interact with them, or when things are being denied me or people are treating me badly because I don’t measure up to social standards. ever tried to overdose?: >> Yes. (Obviously, I failed.) what vegetable do you pick over every other veggie?: >> Baby spinach. why are you self-conscious?: >> Because I am more aware of my self than I have ever been. ever had the conversation of marrying someone and having their kids?: >> Not the latter part. what scent makes you smile?: >> You know, I’ve never thought about it. have you ever just read the dictionary for kicks?: >> Yeah, when I was a child.  if someone stalked you, how would you react?: >> I don’t know. I’ve never been stalked so I don’t even know what it’d feel like. what is one thing that a friend might do that annoys you?: >> Hm. whats the first department you go to in a store?: >> That depends on the store and why I’m there. what kind of grapes do you like?: >> Red. have you ever been physically hurt by someone intentionally and not for fun?: >> Yes. do you often weasel out of doing things just cuz you’re lazy?: >> Maybe. Although I’m not sure I believe in laziness -- I’m sure there are probably exceptions to my theory, because there are exceptions to everything, but I think people just use “lazy” as an insult when they don’t understand why someone else doesn’t work at the same pace or level of enthusiasm or within the same time frame as they do. I think people internalise that and just roll with it. I think that “laziness” is a lazy term that hides a multitude of solveable problems -- executive dysfunction, depression, lack of balance (it’s like the Sims: if you don’t fulfill their need for fun and socialisation, their performance in all sectors suffers), inability to care about whatever-it-is, anxiety, overload/overstimulation, and so on. I say “I’m lazy lmao” because it’s honestly easier to just let myself be judged that way than try to explain these other things to people and be told I’m a liar or making up excuses. ever ignored a phone call because you knew that person was boring?: >> No. items ever thrown around in your room out of anger…: >> That has happened. Not recently. ever gone out commando?: >> No. I find that immensely uncomfortable. are you ever going to consider plastic surgery?: >> No. Couldn’t afford it anyway. do you give in easily?: >> I mean, yes, sometimes. what can’t you stand about your room?: >> It’s too small and Sigma ruined it. do you really believe in magic?: >> Yes. if you ever caught your parents in a lie, what was it?: >> A lie of omission. My father didn’t tell me that the dog we got when we moved to South Jersey had ran away, until I asked him why I haven’t seen the dog in a few days. He... thought I’d like, forget???? I don’t know what kind of logic he was working with there. :| if you were born a guy, what would you hope your name would be?: >> Hm.

were you named after anyone?: >> Originally. what’s one characteristic your ideal boyfriend would have?: >> Hm. do you need reassurance a lot?: >> Not a lot. Not often at all, really. your least favorite Disney villain is…: >> I don’t know enough Disney villains to have a least favourite. what flavor of skittles do you dislike the most?: >> I thought they all taste the same.