#he is a demon you guys. a hot guy being evil to him would be like crack cocaine
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solomon, making a pact with asmodeus: haha. i am so clever and conniving. i have convinced this powerful demon into a contract with me in his weakened state. despite his abilities i have all of the power over him and he has none over me.
solomon, much time later, realizing he has been in love with asmodeus for centuries and has softened towards demonkind in general as a result: well, fuck.
#i am once again deeply tired of the “asmodeus needs to be saved solomon's pact was so evil” narrative#have you considered that asmo canonically does not care. and if anything respects him for it#he is a demon you guys. a hot guy being evil to him would be like crack cocaine#obey me!#solodeus#obey me! asmodeus#obey me! solomon
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SHADOWS
My ex-boyfriend James is sooooo fucking weak and pathetic. I hate and despise him with every part of my soul. He is everything that is wrong with men these days. Indecisive, overly sensitive, small and pathetic. What a fucking loser.
His twin brother Jason by comparison is a God. He is the man I now desire. Once I despised and hated Jason, but now he is everything I seek in a man. Tall, strong, rich, dominant... he makes me so fucking wet. My new boyfriend is a total Alpha. The longer I stay around him the more feminine I feel. I love what he does to me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me explain how this all started...
Once I was the nerdiest girl at school. It seems insane to say it now, given how popular I am, but there was a time when I couldn't name six fashion designers or contour my makeup or suck off three boys at once in the cheerleaders locker room. I was a fucking loser.
Terrible skin, flat chested, nerdy glasses and goofy teeth. No. I was once plain little Melanie. I even had ginger hair. No wonder everyone bullied me. Popular rich bitch Madison didn't even exist. I was a fucking nobody.
My life consisted of science fairs, anime and role-playing games. Not the fun role playing games where you dress as a sexy school girl and get railed by a hot guy... no... the loser ones where you pretend to be an elf.
To my shame I was even into LARPIng. Live action role play. Each Friday night, me, James, Jason and our other buddies would go into the local woods to play.
We would run around the woods pretending to be on adventures. Fuckkkk it was so pathetic, I feel a major ick just thinking about it.
Jason wasn't the God he would later become at this point. He and James basically looked the same. I don't know why I had chosen James as my boyfriend. I guess he was slightly more confident and had asked me out first. He and Jason basically looked and acted the same though. Many people couldn't even tell them apart. Even me sometimes.
Then Jason found the shadow and everything changed.
As part of our role playing experience we sometimes brought props along and Jason had found this creepy looking glass bottle in a charity shop. It was opaque and stoppered with a wax cork. Perhaps it held a liquid of some kind? Sometimes it looked like there was something dark swirling inside, but it was kind of hard to tell.
We needed a prop to represent an evil demon that was trapped in a bottle so Jason had brought out the bottle.
As usual the group had split up. It was dark now and I was on my own. I had on my favourite druid costume (ughhh so fucking fugly) and I was creeping through the woods under the moonlight.
Suddenly I saw Jason through a gap in the trees. He was on his own too and carrying the bottle. I headed towards him, he hadn't seen me... in fact he wasn't really paying proper attention to his surroundings, which is maybe why he suddenly tripped over a tree root.
The bottle span from his hands and smashed against the ground with a musical tinkle.
I had a perfect view of everything. Jason was lit by the moonlight, his scrawny body shivering and his eyes wide with fear as a rolling mass of black shadows erupted from the smashed bottle and flowed towards him.
I wanted to scream but my voice had left me and I could only put my hands to my mouth like a parody of some dumb anime girl as the shadows flowed into Jason. Black smoke forced its way down his throat, into his nose. It wrapped and enveloped him, melting and merging into his body.
Then it was gone.
But the scene was not over.
Jason let out a cry, or maybe it was a moan. I watched in horrified fascination (and now I'm happy to admit a little bit or arousal) as I watched him change. Jason... my God... was being born.
Muscles rippled and swelled under his skin, causing his shirt to rip and his fantasy style breeches to bulge. He tore his top off to reveal a rippling six back and toned muscles as his skin flowed like wax and he changed and transformed. He grew taller and bigger, more handsome too as his face became more masculine and his hair cut more stylish.
Grunting and grinning Jason ripped off his pathetic role playing costume and stretched confidently. He was entirely naked now and I gasped in arousal as I saw his magnificent ass and his perfect cock. As I watched it was growing. Ten inches of thick white meat now hung between his huge thighs and I almost salivated as I beheld his perfect manly body.
Jason confidently stretched his body, clearly enjoying how it felt. He grinned perfect white teeth and his eyes, once mild and nerdy shone with ambition and dark desire. He clicked his fingers and there was a wisp of smoke as a stylish black shirt and designer jeans encased his new perfect body. He now looked like a male super model and he strode off through the woods chuckling, leaving me breathing heavily and wondering if I was losing my mind.
***
I ran through the woods. Back then I was ungainly and lacking athletic ability. Whereas now I hit the gym daily and can bend into nearly any position (especially when fucking) I was a fucking loser, so I made quite the noise as I crashed through the trees.
James and the others soon found me and I garbled what I'd seen, but they all thought I was still role playing.
"Babe, it's a cool story, but one detail that doesn't work. My stuck up bullying brother doesn't play with us. He thinks we're losers."
I gawped at James. I thought he was joking at first, but as we spoke it became clear he was serious. The shadow had changed Jason, but it also seemed to have changed everyone's memories of him.
I had no idea why I hadn't been affected. perhaps because I had witnessed his transformation directly or something.
James and the others couldn't understand why I was so upset and worried. The shadow had looked evil and I was worried my boyfriends brother was now under the control of something wicked. I decided I'd have to confront Jason directly and see if I could aid him, so I told the others I felt sick and left to go immediately to James and Jason's house.
James started after me, but I quickly lost him in the woods. I didn't want him to see what had happened to his brother. I was sure I could find a way to save Jason.
Haha, what a fucking idealistic moron I used to be.
***
I arrived at Jason's to find the house had changed. There was now a pickup parked at the front and the house was larger and clearly more expensive. Entering the house I found it was better decorated and I nearly had a heart attack as I entered the kitchen to find Jame's Mom and Dad.
Michael, the Dad was now a handsome looking business man wearing an expensive suit. Linda, James Mom had transformed from a homesy kind Mom into a haughty and beautiful MILF. She looked stunning!
Neither of them paid me much attention, they clearly recognised me as James girlfriend. The sneer and look of disgust Linda gave me left me cold. I can't blame her. Linda is now a major icon to me and we are the BEST of friends. She loves me like a daughter and I've learned so much about manipulating and using men from her. But back then I was a dork dating her loser son James.
But that was soon about to change.
I found Jason in a room I'd never seen before. A personal gym.
He was stripped to the waist, his muscles rippling as he pumped iron. He turned and grinned at me as I entered.
"Well well well. My brothers dork girlfriend? What the hell do you want Melanie?"
"I saw everything Jason. I saw that weird shadow enter you. We have to get it out of you. What have you done to your Mom and Dad? This isn't right."
Jason grinned. "Ahhhh. So you saw it? So you remember the old me? Haha you have no idea Melanie. No idea how good this feels. The shadow within me hungers for power and pleasure. It serves no other purpose but to give me what I want. It can change things, people too. Anything that falls under my shadow can be twisted to serve my whim. I am a fucking God now."
I watched nervously as black shadows seemed to spread around Jason as he spoke. The air rippled with potential and a cold numb feeling spread through my body and my soul. Jason grinned as the light seemed to be sucked out of the room and I was drowning in darkness.
"You could be so much more Melanie. You're such a fucking dork, just like my pathetic brother. I always wanted you to be MY girlfriend and now I have this power you can join me. I won't force you, I want you to join me willingly. A taste of this power and I think you'll want more."
I gasped falling to my knees as the shadows surrounded me. All the warmth and kindness and love inside me was suddenly numbed. It was like the shadow was feeding on my positive emotions... perhaps it was.
The dark shadows enveloped and wrapped my nerdy body. Tempting whispers invaded my mind and I felt Jason's presence beating down on me and willing me to give in. The shadow wanted to change and corrupt me, but it would only do so if I wanted it to. Jason hadn't lied.
I don't know if you've ever been offered something so fucking delicious and perfect that even if it came at the cost of your soul you'd jump at the chance... but when that moment finally arrives, it's pretty hard not to succumb.
I'd seen what the shadow had done to Jason. It had turned him into the perfect example of masculine perfection. It could probably do the same for me, but make me the ultimate girl. All I had to do was let it in and surrender to the darkness.
I'd seen girls in magazines, on TV, on teenage drama programs. I'd always wondered how it would feel to be a Queen Bee... a head cheerleader type. What must it be like to be so pretty you can get whatever you want? How would it feel to be a bitch?
"Yes... change me," I groaned. "But only a little... I just want to be a little prettier."
I gasped as my body suddenly ached and I felt the shadows begin to change me. I ripped my dorky glasses off and felt my brace snap as I spat out the metal to leave perfect white teeth. My red hair turned a sexy black and my pale spotty skin tanned as my body toned.
It felt so fucking good.
"Don't you want more Melanie? Don't you want to become a real fucking bitch? If it feels this good to go a little of the way, why not let the shadows take you all the way?"
Jason had a point. The more I transformed the more I wanted to transform. As I felt myself become more popular and beautiful, the further I found I wanted to go.
"Yessss mmmmore," I gasped feeling the shadows pour down my throat and into my body. I could feel Jason in my mind now, his fingers manipulating my pleasure receptors and his thoughts becoming my own.
"That's right Melanie. You don't want to be a dweeb anymore. You want to go all the way. You want to be a fucking bitch. Say it."
I shuddered as delicious throbs of pleasure pulsed through my body. "I... mmmmmh, ohhh yes, I want to be a bitch."
"That's right Melanie. Let's picture a girl. Let's call her Madison. She's everything you want to be isn't she? Thin, pretty, bratty and spoiled. She's the kind of girl that has a new outfit every day, that all the other girls bow down to. I want you imagine how hot she looks. Nice tits, a toned body, ultra-feminine body language. So different to the dork you are. Are you picturing her?"
I was picturing her. I was thinking of every mean bad girl and bitch I had ever know in real life or in the movies. I was picturing Madison and boy was she fucking hot.
"Now say it. Say you want to be Madison. You want to be the bullying popular Alpha girl."
My pussy was wet, my already partially transformed body felt so good. I needed more... I needed the shadows to corrupt me completely.
"Yessss I want to be Madison."
I screamed and orgasmed as I said it, feeling the shadows flowing into me and destroying Melanie forever. All the kind gentle nice parts of me were consumed and the shadows pumped me full of evil, mean bratty thoughts.
Melanie died in that instant and I... Madison... took control.
Long bitchy nails shot out from my fingers. My face became meaner and even prettier, soft pouty lips curving into a bratty grin. My clothing became designer, my handbag expensive and my personality became that of a spoiled rich bitch.
Reality rippled and changed. Only Jason and I would remember the old me. It was as if Melanie had never existed and only I had been born.
The shadows withdrew, but they left their mark. I was a fucking evil bitch now, devoid of mercy. I only cared about myself... oh and Jason of course.
"How do you feel baby?" he grinned, towering over me in his Adonis body.
"I feel amazing baby," I grinned. "In fact I want to thank you for being the best boyfriend ever."
I giggled and sank eagerly to my knees. My long nails looked so hawt as I unzipped Jason's fly and his huge ten inch dick flopped out.
Moaning I began to pump and suck his cock. This was who and what I worshipped now. Jason had taken me from that loser James.
"Yesssss, good girl," grunted Jason as he put his hands gently on my head and pushed me deeper onto his cock. "You're my slutty bitch now and I have everything I ever wanted."
I just gagged and gargled happily, I fucking loved my man's big cock.
I couldn't wait for him to cum. I needed to taste it...
***
And so that is how I ascended from being a fucking pathetic loser into a Goddess myself. Jason is the Master of the Shadow and so long as he holds that power I am his willing accomplice.
Soon after the transformation James came home. He no longer remembered I had ever been his girl, but that didn't stop me and Jason fucking loudly next door and laughing about the little simp jerking off in his room next door.
I felt so evil and perfect. Being Madison was like a perpetual state of orgasm. The meaner and nastier I was, the better it all felt.
Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if James had smashed that bottle instead of Jason? Perhaps he would be the Alpha stud with the delicious bitchy girlfriend.
But it was just idle speculation. The shadows answered to Jason...
And I answered only to the shadows now.
THE END
#evie hyde#bitchification#f2f transformation#corruption#evil bitch#m2m transformation#shadows#betrayal#mean#bratty
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NIKOBRAN HEADCANNONS
to keep you going this last week before God of Fury drops<3
Between all his sons-in-law, Brandon is Kyle's favorite.
Levi's is Mia (cousin-fuckers who stole his son and daughter he'll always beef with)
Brandon and Niko are the type of relatives to wear matching clothes on Christmas because Niko would take up any chance to wear matching anything with Brandon.
If and when Brandon bakes, no one gets a chance to even taste what he made before Niko devours it all.
The only place Niko can fall asleep in at record speed is Brandon's arms.
The only reason Niko teaches Brandon how to drive a bike is so he can put his arms around his boyfriend's slutty waist boyfriend.
Remi is terrified on Brandon's behalf.
"Bran, yes, he's hot but mate, look at that guy! He has some skin on those tattoos!"
Astrid shares Remi's concerns but soon comes to find out that Niko is the biggest goofball of sunshine and almost adopts him.
Surprisingly, the one who takes the longest to accept Brandon is Rai. Because it's not her first time meeting the Kings (hello, she's a far relative) and she's worried that her oldest who is actually tender hearted and plagued by demons of his past, might be crushed beyond repair if Brandon hurt him.
Brandon and Landon think they can get away with tricking their in-laws by dressing as each other but they underestimate the Sokolov-Hunters who told them apart the moment they walked in.
Brandon tried it on Niko once when he first divulged about how Maya and Mia used to do it, but Niko could tell Brandon apart from his "psycho" brother in a heartbeat.
"It's your eyes" He had murmured. "Yours sparkle"
Glyndon is weary of Niko but as long as Brandon's happy, she's happy.
Landon is supremely unhappy.
When Landon first opposes their relationship by threatening Niko, Niko flings back "Remember who you're dating and what I mean to them" back at him.
Niko and Landon almost kill each other multiple times.
If there's someone even more unhappy than Landon, it's Crieghton.
Creighton: "Does this mean I can't fight him anymore?" Elsa: "Why were you fighting him before this?!" Creighton: "Is anyone else hearing this buzzing? I should go check."
Niko goes feral whenever he sees Brandon shirtless and vice-versa but
Niko is always shirtless, so Brandon is always suffering.
Unlike Niko, Brandon doesn't carry him into a dark corner to immediately fuck.
If there's no scene of Brandon asking Niko "Who's fucking you?" Rina, you'll hear from my therapist. And if there's not a single, evil, unhinged Brandon moment where Niko is flabbergasted at the change and is accusing him of being two-faced at which Brandon will laugh, lean in and ask tauntingly "What are you going to do? Tell on me?" I will sue.
Brandon's muse is Niko. (Bitch, I said what I said)
Unlike Landon, Brandon doesn't divulge this piece of information to his boyfriend because he does not want to give Niko even more reasons to walk around with lesser clothes.
Brandon gets a tattoo for Niko on his ribs. (cue feral Nikolai)
After which Niko tries to get Brandon's name tattooed on his favorite organ, but Jeremy literally deadlocks the door to his room to keep him inside after Niko asked for opinions in their group chat about his decision.
Niko: You don't think it's romantic? Jeremy, Killian, Gareth, Landon, Eli, Creighton, Remi:
They've definitely rolled around in paint and fucked on a canvas after it. Niko would display it in the entryway of their house if Brandon let him.
They've also joined the mile high club.
After they get engaged, Brandon calls him by his full-name as in "Nikolai Sokolov-Hunter-King" just to piss him off but Nikolai loves being associated to Brandon in every possible way, so it backfires.
Their wedding bands have each other's name inscribed in them.
As does the underside of their ring fingers in the other's handwriting.
Nikolai tries drawing a heart over the i in his name and almost gets smacked.
#legacy of gods#nikolai sokolov#brandon king#nikolai x brandon#nikobran#god of fury#god of malice#god of pain#god of ruin#god of war#eliava#eli x ava#eli king#landon king#jeremy volkov#creighton king#mia sokolov#maya sokolov#cecily knight
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Hot take about Sky angst, regarding the curse of Demise, because I haven't seen anyone talking about this possibility in all those years I've been in LU fandom.
Guys...
Sky has no idea about the curse
Because think about it. Why would he know about it?
My man has been electrocuted multiple times, with magical - basically divine - lightnings in attempt to defeat Demise. All the while fighting for his life with a literal GOD OF EVIL, after spending an entire afternoon fighting an army of monsters and a Demon Lord/creepy ass Sword Spirit. Not even mentioning how worried sick he must have been that entire time, if this time he was also too late too save Zelda.
(always too late too slow not enough and late late late)
I don't know about you, but I don't think he was in any state of body or mind to listen to some dudes last words, when he had to focus on not passing out because he has to make sure Zelda/Sun is alright.
(It got a bit long so rest of the rant under the cut)
Fi gave him clear, that Demise received a mortal blow and that now it's only a matter of time until he dies and that was all Sky needed to stop paying any attention.
Just go through the motions. His vision is blurry, but that's alright just stay awake. Fi chimes to rise his sword. He does. There is some black smoke suddenly surrounding him, but Fi get's rid of it with her light so it's fine. It's probably why she asked him to rise her skyward. The last fifteen minutes he's been following her directions nearly blindly anyway, because his mind is still foggy, he's not sure where he is or what he is doing he just have to get to Zelda.
And then she's there. And everything is fine.
Impa fades, Fi sleeps and he finally rests. Or rather crashes as the exhaustion finally catches up to him.
But he recovers, as best as he can, and live on.
And then eight other heroes, just like him, appear and take him on a quest across the time. They become friends. Then brothers. Soon he feels like they knew each other their entire lives and can't imagine how he can move on after the inevitable goodbyes.
He is so happy that no matter what, there will always be someone among his people, someone from or even outside of Hyrule, to stand up against evil, no matter how many times it will try to show it's ugly face. He's a bit bummed that there even is a need for a hero to show up, but hey! He is not so naive to think people are and always will be only good. Things happen. Some people are just terrible, and some take it out on the entire world.
But somewhere along the line, he starts to notice... something weird.
They all fought that same guy (some of them even multiple times!) called Ganon or Ganondorf. And while he is overjoyed that none of them even heard the name of Demise, he feels kind of singled out. Few of them mentioned an idea of reincarnation. Mentioning Zeldas' connection through blood of the Goddess and their connection through a spirit.
A spirit of a hero.
He always though it was a figure of speech. A way to describe someone courageous who fulfills the quota of being a hero.
But it's not about a spirit of a hero.
No.
It's the Spirit of the Hero.
His Spirit.
An idea begins to form. A distant memory he didn't even knew he had. Maybe nightmares about that fateful fight starting to get clearer by night. Maybe he spends some time talking to Fi and he does not like the feeling he gets from her chimes, even if she can't really talk in her slumber. Maybe he even prays to Hylia in some distant era in an unfamiliar place, so she can deny or confirm his suspicions.
Goddesses, please, may he be wrong.
Because he loves them all like a family. Because they are family. Because he has seen their haunted expressions and blank eyes, he has heard their stories and horrors they went through and nearly all of them were so young, too young, and the thought that he was the direct cause of it-
Sky had no idea that Demise trapped his spirit in a cycle of reincarnation. He had no time to process it or find coping mechanisms before the adventure with the chain happened. He found out during it, slowly putting it together and coming apart at the seems before their eyes.
Sky didn't know about the curse.
And I say, it could be really interesting to watch Sky fall.
(And if anyone knows a fic exploring this idea please let me know! I searched but couldn't find any)
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu headcanons#linked universe headcanons#lu sky#linked universe sky#some curse of demise rant because I have thoughts#I love sky I promise#I just also happen lo love angst#and sky angst#having a traumatizing moment burn into his memory and haunt his every waking moment is all cool and dandy#but think about the slow realization before it finally hits#my rants
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I don’t think it should be a hot take when I say that Jonathan Kent should never have aged up. This isn’t about who is shipping whom, because I’d be genuinely surprised if even JonJay fans disagreed with me on this.
Let’s actually consider this: if Jon had not been aged up, how would any of his storylines and adventures have changed overall? Sure, yes, there would be a few tweaks, but would Jon’s age have prevented the events of The Legion of Super Heroes, Superman Son of Kal El, Dark Crisis and storylines afterwards. I dare even say it would have made those storylines and Jon’s character so much better.
Let’s go on this rabbit trail here for a second. Even if you liked Son of Kal El and maybe even shipped JonJay. If Jon had never aged up, stayed on Earth age 10, maybe grew to be 11 and met Jay at that point in time, it can go two ways: either Jay would be written the same age as Jon (11 years old) or Jay would still be 18ish and Jon would just have a one-sided crush on an older guy. Either way, the idea would have been more interesting in exploring Jon’s sexuality at a time when he’s just starting puberty. Because he’s young, it would have given room for Jon to grow and develop. Even the Teen Titans under Damian explored his sexuality despite his crush being terrible imo. First love’s are likely to work better if the character is still a child or minor.
The problem comes down to Jon aging up to seven years in a few days. His character is now a shell of what he once was. Jon was already strong and developing. He was becoming his own little person separate from Superman. Hell, if we’re going to talk about making Jon diverse, he was already diverse and dealing with discrimination for being a mixed Kryptonian and human. He was hunted down by a Kryptonian clone of his dad to eliminate any “human impurities.” He was tricked and betrayed by his own hometown, who used alien cow’s milk to “protect him” from needing to be Superboy and as a result had hindered his powers from activating. Evil Tim’s Batman hunted him down to kill him because his human and Kryptonian genetics clashed hard enough for Jon to create a solar flare that was capable of destroying a part of the world. These are issues Jon deals with that are the equivalent of what children of mixed races go through such as health conditions, their own being skeptical of them because of the other half of their race from both sides and often being belittled for being a “half-breed.” Until Jon was aged up, he had to be checked by Batman himself because the Fortress of Solitude and regular human doctors weren’t capable of checking a half Kryptonian and Human child. Then, Jon got aged up and his health concerns and the discrimination conflicts from his own were thrown right out the window.
My point is that Jon’s character arc and conflicts were thrown out the window the moment he aged up. Sure, there are some good comics with Jon here and there like Tom King’s Super Sons’ Adventures in Babysitting, but for the most part, Jon’s character has been reduced to a clone of Superman. Whatever happened to Jon’s personality that came from his mother like his stubbornness, tamper and sassiness? Whatever happened to that Jon that led a bunch of demon dogs he rescued to save his parents? Whatever happened to the boy that went Emo over accidentally frying his pet cat to ashes?
I guess Jonathan Kent truly died in that volcano when he was sucked into a wormhole.
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𖤓 Being part of I.M.P
would include 𖤓
Warnings: Blitzø's stalking tendencies.
Having to deal with Loona
• Loona by herself is already a piece of work, she's rude to everyone for no reason, doesn't do her job well and is lazy as fuck.
• You would be no exception and she would make comments about your clothes, your hair, the way you talk, anything that can put you down.
• She constantly steals your lunch, and doesn't matter where you hide it, she will just sniff it and eat it all, she even throws tantruns if you get angry with her about it.
• You constantly have to do her job for her. She will just take a break no matter the time and leave the clients hanging on the phone. Not only you have to work as a assassin but also as a secretary when she just decides to not be around.
• It doesn't help that 60% of the time the calls aren't from raging clients but from that horny owl prince Blitzø slept with and you have to listen to his deranged commentary on your boss.
Blitzø's shenanigans
• Your boss is far from being responsible and you learned that way too late. He's loud, unprofessional, has a weird thing for horses and doesn't care on respecting your personal life.
• He constantly spies on you the same way he does with Millie and Moxxie. You already changed the locker five times and always makes sure the windows are closed but he always gets in and eats your goddam food.
• His weird thing for horses also makes your life worse, most of the times the cleaning duty is up to you and his drawers are full of pictures, art and horses figurines, you want to clean your eyes with bleach after seeing some of those images. He also info dumps to you about his OCs.
• There's also multiple occasions were you have to pick him up from places, either because he got way too drunk or because he got in trouble with another demon and got kicked out of the place he was.
• You don't even bother asking about your paycheck anymore, you just wait until Blitzø feels like paying you for the month and try not to waste it all at once 'cause you never know when he will remember to pay you again.
Moxxie and Millie being clingy
• At first you thought the two were very cute together, who wouldn't? A loving couple that like showing to the world they were in love, what's so wrong about it?
• But then you actually started working with them and oh Satan were they a handful to deal with. They just can't keep their tongues away from each other and in the worst timing too.
• You'll enter a room and the two of them will be all over each other, being all flirty and gross that you can't help but make fake vomiting noises and leave. Or you all will be in the middle of killing and they will get turned on by nothing and will start making out while shooting the target, you just don't get why.
• Working with them is basically just being a third wheel for hours and is a mental test because they will make sure you know they love each other and will start singing togheter like they're in some type of musical.
Villain of the week kinda bullshit
• Your paycheck doesn't make justice for the amount of trouble you are pulled to by default just by existing close to them. You lost count of how many close to death experiences you had with these Imps.
• When you thought it would be a easy job, boom, your target was actually a crazy woman with a shotgun. You wanted a nice time at a theme park while working as security for the owl guy, nuh-uh, can't have that, the park is now on fire. Going to the Warth ring to have some fun and happened to meet a hot cowboy guy? Too bad, he's also evil.
• You all somehow always get out of it unharmed, sometimes with major brusies like the time you came back with a big cut on your arm because one of the Cherub's arrows actually hit you, but it's still a miracle to you that you're all alive. But your coworkers always move past it like it's nothing.
• And to be honest? You do the same, after so much time having to deal with this crazy scenarios, you just grow used to it. Your free time at the office is just waiting for a new costumer to come or to a new wacky adventure to start.
• Also, I hope you know how to sing because said Villains of the week like singing a lot and will do at any given opportunity.
#helluva boss x reader#helluva boss#helluva loona#loona helluva boss#blitzo#blitzø#helluva boss blitz#blitz x reader#moxxie helluva boss#moxxie hb#helluva millie#millie helluva boss#loona hellhound
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Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Marcille is Not Handling Being In Charge Well
Yeah, that doesn't sound exactly like Thistle at alllll, Marcille!
.
[Tolkien fistpumping in the background of the fantasy genre]
We'll know that shit's REALLY bad if Chilchuck ever stops making sarcastic comments.
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lol
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EYES /weeps
Also I just noticed that Marcille's hair has been down since we reunited with her. She no longer cares about the things she used to, she's openly using dark magic with no concern for the consequences, she's not taking care to manage her own mana... I wonder if the demon already ate her desire to style it?
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The Island Lord really is just completely useless, huh. He is NOT getting a role in Laios's new government.
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omg I didn't notice when it was in the dungeon, but it's the Sky Snake! Silver Wings that Race Through the Heavens, Marcille's sky snake!!
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This IS genuinely creepy. It's easy to forget that this whole adventure so far has happened underground, save for a few scant scenes. But we are about to enter, in effect, the real world...
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I remain sooo interested in this secretive paramilitary outfit comprised entirely of conditionally-pardoned criminals who already have their hands dirty with forbidden magic and aristocratic scions from families seeking to prove their loyalty, all of which reports directly to the Queen. Their mere existence is sooo dodgy.
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AIDGHADFC I DID NOT REALIZE THAT THE LION GAVE MARCILLE HER EVIL GOTH MAKEOVER! I thought she chose that herself... This is worse, actually... (And then it ate her desire to stop.)
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You're completely right, Kabru! "They're tripping each other up because you don't know enough about monsters to manage them properly" was exactly Laios's critique of Thistle's dragon horde, too!
Which, I will admit, supports the Elves' position about how incredibly bad it would be if Laios WAS the one leading this army. I do want some good fic about that maybe.
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I always really enjoy the trope of, in a big battle or elaborate plan, things will go bad for the whole extended party at once even though their personal dramatic moments are happening completely apart and unrelated to one another - and, conversely, they'll all rally at the same time, too. It's very basic storytelling, an in-canon "coincidence" of timing required for a compelling rhythm of story, and I enjoy it every time.
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I'D KNOW THAT WING-HILTED SWORD ANYWHERE!!
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I'm going to make a goddamn COLLECTION of every time this woman puts the whole group in Outfits made of other creatures. She should do rabbits next. They deserve to dress like giant dungeon rabbits.
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lmaooo
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I love when characters say shit like this about their friends. I mean, @ Laios don't underestimate yourself, but actually he does mean "smart" in the sense of "unlikely to get manipulated", so in this case he's right.
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This, the first panels and then the next 1, was when I was like, "oh, okay, we're going to win." Laios was JUST saying that he couldn't defeat the demon if he didn't understand literally these things about it. Now, Laios understand it as a monster, and Kabru understands it as a person - so we're good. We've cornered it on two angles of 'guys who can kill things with remarkable efficiency if they understand them through their special interest.' We're going to kick this thing's ass. We're going to be okay.
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And then we're rewarded with a wink! Kabru trust Laios now!! Truly, life is good.
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Lolll at myself, and at this chronic faker. Should've known the Wink(TM) was a lie! The Wink is always a lie, or at least a tease.
It is so fun to watch this boy take charge of situations on sheer merit of quick-thinking, knowing all the factions involved, and confidence in giving commands.
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Hot. Obviously, objectively, this is hot. Walking confidently, unafraid and unsurprised, through a corridor of kneeling dragons? Laios, Lord of Monsters, damn fuckin' right.
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This really is Laios's interactions with collective humanity in a nutshell. They shun him, disdain and fear him, for what he loves (monsters). "It's all right," he says. "The misunderstanding won't last" - he smothers how angry it makes him. They'll understand eventually, he promises himself. (They never have before, but one day...) But also: he really genuinely does love monsters, and loves to be associated with them, even if the cost IS to not be associated with humanity.
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Izutsumi: I could still kick Marcille's ass. I'll kick anyone's ass. I'll kick my own ass.
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Laios, King of Monsters: loves every monster except squids and octopi. Those guys just suck.
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I love how her shout is almost in the black magic font, even as spoken words. That is her gesture for exploding things. This is what she looked like when she killed Mithrun 20 minutes ago.
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I connected the dots. I connected them.
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Your latest HC post got me thinking. Do you think the bros ever tried to give MC some food or drink that had their “essence” in it? Maybe they’d also kick back and watch as MC slowly becomes addicted to it, wanting more as the days go by and probably begging to know what’s in it so they can recreate that delectable treat they gave.
Oh my god wudhydsjhf I didn't even think about that but yeah, each demon in the devildom is probably well-aware of the properties of their semen so they can in fact use it as "enhancement" on food. Pretty evil. Okay really REALLY quick and short headcanons on that idea, based on my earlier headcanons of course:
Lucifer
Has definitely thought about it but he feels like doing this would be "stooping too low" and it's not "classy" to use such a tactic to win you over, because yes the avatar of pride has SOME standards. But I can definitely imagine that once you're in a relationship with him he would let you taste some of his "essence" in food. THOUGH TO BE CLEAR he makes you aware of it, like, he warns you so you know beforehand what's in the food.
Mammon
Also has definitely thought about it but he feels too guilty to do that to you. Even if he does end up putting some of it into your food of drinks he always chickens out at the last moment with a dumb excuse like "oh the choco milk is probably too cold already, I'll bring you another cup NO- t-this cup's no good forget it, don't even take a sip of it-"
Leviathan
Similar to Mammon (as in, he feels guilty) but his inherent possessiveness over you wins over and he swallows back his guilt and shame (also, if you find out you'll definitely mock him for it which he looks forward to.) Not like you will though since his semen has hypnotic side-effects, he'll ask for things from you like flashing your panties at him or hugging him or whatever then he'll make you forget any of it happened because he's a coward haha.
Satan
Hmm he's a difficult one to grasp for me- But I suppose the idea would cross his mind though he'll never act upon it. He'll imagine it for sure but even if demon seeds taste good and aren't all that "dangerous" to consume, making you drink something that came from him without your knowledge doesn't sit well with him. If you ever do it, he wants you to drink it because you want to while exactly knowning what's inside the cup.
Asmo
Zero shame, zero guilt. Tries to do it at every occasion he gets but you (and the brothers) are already well aware of his intentions so you're not allowed to drink anything that Asmo has supposedly "prepared". Of course the reason why they're so protective is because he has already succeeded a couple of times in the past and your face looks way too cute under his seed's influence. The aphrodisiac aspect of it being way too strong and overkill it gets everyone too hot and bothered while looking at you, it's almost painful for them to see you in that state without being able to act upon their desires in front of the rest of their brothers.
Beel
To be completely honest I don't even think the thought would cross his mind djshdjz. It probably only would once you guys are deep in a relationshio and having sex, since he has tasted you and liked it he suddenly realizes he can "feed" you as well. "Oh- did I ever tell you that demons' semen have special tastes and side-effects? Would you like to try?" He's pretty genuine about it, no ulterior motives. Just wants to "feed" you.
Belphie
This little fucker is the most devious little shit ever. EVERYTIME he's on cooking duty he does it. Since I headcanon that his have hallucinogen effects, at first no one exactly knows what's wrong with the food. With Asmo it was obvious since his aphrodisiac effect is 100% straightforward: pure pleasure. But Belphie? Might as well be slipping drugs in there dryjghfhd ANYWAY, he loves seeing you confused or impressed, a bit lost in your magical "daydreams". You start to like it and even praise his cooking not knowing how the hell he does that (you assume he just applies some sort of spell on the food.) But once the brothers find out/understand what he does to you, they're furious, and Belphie is banned from cooking duty which was probably about 30% of the reason why he started putting his juices there in the first place djhehdhz
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me headcanons#does this count as smut???#obey me smut#just in case#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me beel#obey me belphie#hanaruri answers#hanaruri writes
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Reviewing tgcf characters because I have thoughts
I finished S2 recently and I need somewhere to put my not exactly hot but like warm (?) takes because it's taking up too much storage space in my brain.
🤍 Xie Lian 🤍
It's a good thing I'm not into guys because if I was I would be on my knees for this man in every sense of that expression and his pet menace to society would mince me up like garlic.
So I'll try to be brief about my overflowing feelings about him. Xie Lian is the best main character I have come across in a WHILE. He's the embodiment of compassion and kindness. And also a cold blooded murderer. A babygirl. A father figure. A terrifying martial god. A silly little guy. A pathological liar. The most genuine man you'll ever meet. He's everything, and Hua Cheng is 100% valid in his obsession. I'm right there with him.
Rating: 10/10
❤️ Hua Cheng ❤️
Idk if we ever figured out who wrote My Immortal but I'm pretty sure we have our culprit.
"Hi my name is Hua Cheng Crimson Rain Sought Flower Red-Robed Ghost King and this is my evil weapon of death E-ming. I've killed soooo many gods with it!! My dark power is I can summon storms of BLOOD and SUFFERING. I have my own scary city of DEMONS and they all love me and think I'm HOT but I only want my BOYFRIEND who's the only REAL GOD so STOP FLAMING HIM YOU POSERS-"
Needless to say I love him. Being the 8 time winner of the Loverboy of the Century Awards with unbeatable records in the yearning olympics is truly a remarkable feat.
Rating: 9/10
(Bonus: E-ming. Cute little guy. Likes his stepdad more than his real dad. Not afraid to show it's feelings even if it makes it look like a muppet, 10/10)
🧡 Feng Xin & Mu Qing 🧡
Tweedle dee and tweedle dum gets a shared rating because they would hate to be grouped together like that and that's funny to me. Their dynamic is great, they're good characters, I wasn't sure which one was which until midway through the second season. But then also I have a pair of 7yo twin cousins who I still can't tell apart despite them not looking even a slight bit similar so that might just be a character flaw on my end. Oops.
Rating: 7/10
🩵Shi Qingxuan🩵
I'm doubling the rating because she is best boy and best girl at the same time. I love that I can use any and all pronouns for him because he's literally a pride parade personified and therefore all of them are correct. You don't get that type of chaotic fun just anywhere.
He is truly living my dream, presenting as whatever gender they want depending on what's more convenient and/or funnier in the moment. Super useful, for things like gathering intel and terrorizing Feng Xin by being a woman.
And I personally think we should crown her the new emperor. She'd look significantly better on that throne, with her Barbie-like radiance and flourishing Kenergy.
Rating: 20/10
🖤 Ming Yi 🖤
Listen, I hate to say it because I like a sunshine x grump moment as much as the next gay but he's just... not giving what he thinks he's giving. Everyone is whispering ominously about him having some dark devastating secret but MY point is no matter how big his boobs are in his female form, Shi Qingxuan could do better. I'm sorry. She really could.
Rating: 4/10
💙 Lang Qianqiu 💙
Just an honest man with good intentions and a sickass fucking sword. He did NOT hesitate to attack the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower on SIGHT and I respect a quick decisionmaker, even if it shows some himbo tendencies. He also has the same distinct energy as Fred from Scooby Doo.
Rating: 6/10
💚 Qi Rong 💚
He's got some odd dietary and moral choices going on. Definitely. But he's just such a fun villain!!! Being Xie Lian's nr 1 source of migraines SHOULD make me like him less but I'm sorry, every time he was on screen I was LIVING. He would do numbers on reality TV. Someone put this guy on Kitchen Nightmares, I need to see him 1v1 Gordon Ramsay.
Rating: 7/10
🌚 Jun Wu 🌚
He has his emperor status & DILF card going for him but something about this man just ain't right. If he came to a party I was attending I would cover my drink is all I'm saying.
Rating: 2/10
🔥Pei Ming🔥
I don't know much about him besides he had that one shady empolyee or whatever (could not hear the plot over the deafening sound of Hua Cheng's yearning) but I'm partial to a good manwhore character. The thought of people praying to him like "Hugh Mungus, who art in heaven-" really tickles me.
I know he's probably straight but I headcanon him as at the very least bi-curious because you can't be that hot with that much game and not use it for evil. (That evil being causing large scale gay awakenings among his soldiers.)
Rating: 7/10
❓Pei Xiu❓
Unreliable, unimportant, unattractive, unemployed.
I remember not a singular thing about him besides fucking up Xie Lian's daughter's life and also being on my last nerve from the jump. If you're going to be evil at like least be memorable about it, you know? You can't be a bad person and a bad character at the same time. Pick a struggle.
Rating: 1/10
📚 Ling Wen 📚
I heard she committed some war crimes but honestly if I had to do an entire realm's tax returns by myself AND teach Pei Ming how to read (I refuse to believe that man is literate, just look at him) I would want to rage on occasion too. I hope she has a hot wife waiting for her at home to give her massages after carrying the whole system on her back all day. It's what she deserves.
Rating: 8/10
Thank you for reading!! Opinions might change once I read the books but as of now this is it. Remembering everyone's names has been a journey and a half so this post is sponsored by @kirstenly 's character cheat sheet go look at it! and everything else too!!!
#heaven official's blessing#tian guan ci fu#tgcf#xie lian#hua cheng#feng xin#mu qing#shi qingxuan#ming yi#lang qianqiu#qi rong#jun wu#pei ming#pei xiu#ling wen#sorry for the long post#im just obsessed
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What I think about Bingge
So, funny story: I did not start out liking Bingge. I doubt most people do. The first thoughts I had about him were "Damn, boy's fucked up" and "Who starts ripping off limbs without even asking questions first?" He seemed more like the final boss of a horror game than a fleshed-out character.
Then I finished the book and went "Ehh do I wanna read the extras?" Tbh, I skimmed a lot of them but the Bingge vs Bingmei one was one of the few I fully read, just because the premise sounded interesting.
And it was interesting alright, to see Bingge do something else than torturing people and ripping off arms. But none of it really made my brain light up until that little scene where Bingge watches Shen Qingqiu fuss over Bingmei. Then he asks him to come with him, to choose him, and Shen Qingqiu says no. Bingge returns to his own world, sad and alone.
"Well, sucks to be you," I thought, and "lol, I sure hope that doesn't awaken anything in me."
...
Two weeks later, I found myself lying in bed, thinking about Bingge with a single tear rolling down my cheek.
I really shouldn't be sad for him, I told myself. He has a big harem full of hot women to tell him how great he is all day. If he's not happy, then it's really his own fault.
But what if he's more the monogamous type, my heart wailed back. Or what if he's too fucked up to let anyone love him??
Ugh, alright, I gave in. Let's think about him then.
So, Bingge is a power fantasy made for incels. But even Bingge was Bunhe once. He shares a past with Bingmei and they are, at their core, the same person. And if you can say one thing about Bunhe, it's that he really has an undying hopeful streak. Sure, when Shen Yuan transmigrated, it took him a while to gain Bunhe's trust. But even after all the beatings and insults and humiliation, he did gain it.
Bunhe gave him his trust because he desperately wants Shen Qingqiu to love him. And, if not love him, at least like him. And if not that, then at least not hate him. When Shen Qingqiu actually showed notions of doing just that, loving him, he was all over that like a dog getting a treat and a head pat for the first time in his life.
But Bingge never got that. He hoped and hoped and kept hoping for Shen Qingqiu to show even a hint of affection and all he got in return was the firm assurance that, no, Shen Qingqiu would never feel anything but hate for him.
That has to give a guy issues. Probably makes him feel deeply unlovable. Hate himself, even. Binghe is a little dumb about things like these, he likely didn't give up hope until Shen Qingqiu physically pushed him into the abyss. He probably spent a lot of nights in the abyss crying into his dirty little sleeves.
But you gotta find ways to cope with heartbreak, right? So, eventually, lightly charred Bunhe stood up straight, turned his little determined protagonist eyes up to the sky and said: "I'm going to make him regret it! He will rue the day he cast me away!" And he went on to become stallion protagonist #1, demon emperor, conqueror, etc etc.
The thing is this: if you build your whole identity on the idea of making the guy who hates you regret his feelings, you're not really over him, you get what I'm saying? You're like, the opposite of over him. Not a good emotional state to connect to the hot women throwing themselves at you either.
So yeah, after that, Bingge did all kinds of things that aren't really that important, but eventually, he got Shen Qingqiu where he wanted him: in the water prison (also kneeling at his feet). And I'm sure I have an inkling of what went on in his dumb little head. It may have been something like:
"Aha!! Now I have the evil Shizun in prison, where evil men like him belong! Finally, people have told him how evil he is! I'm going to go and talk to him and make him see the error of his ways. And when the horror of what he did finally dawns on him, and he apologises, I might forgive him and give him another chance."
Shen Jiu being Shen Jiu, he probably laughed right in Binghe's face and also spit at him too, for good measure (as is, in this case, kinda relatable). So Binghe's righteous little plan didn't quite work out as he wanted it to. This procedure might have been repeated a few times but, well.
Binghe's emotions are already volatile on a good day. Add Xin Mo to that. Add childhood trauma and Shen Jiu to that. One time, he snaps and reaches out to rough Sqq up a little, just to make him regret his own behaviour. Underestimating his own strength, he rips off his arm instead.
Awkward situation, that.
What are you supposed to do after ripping off someone's arm? Maybe Binghe just went to bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his life choices.
See, at this point, another person might have thought: "My life is going in the wrong direction. I need to change something, maybe go on a journey of self-discovery or something."
But Binghe has never been the best at things like morals and ethics, no matter what version of him we're talking about. Even Bingmei, who had a comparatively more stable home life, never really got the hang of that stuff (Turning some people into lifeless husks? Well, better than fucking someone, right? The man you love apparently just isn't as insane about you as you are about him? Time to destroy the world^^)
Anyway, you gotta go on, and I'm sure Binghe found some convincing enough arguments for why ripping arms off was an acceptable thing to do.
"But Zar," you may interrupt me. "How can anyone think that's an acceptable thing to do?"
See, in all honesty? I think, deep inside, Binghe knows it's not. But right next to that knowledge lies another knowledge: it's that he's unlovable. And if he's unlovable, it can only be because, at his core, he's already rotten. And if you're already evil? You might as well do evil things, doesn't make much of a difference anymore.
So things escalate, surely not helped by Xin Mo. Shen Qingqiu loses limbs with the same speed other people lose socks, and when even that doesn't heal him of his evil ways, Binghe comes up with the whole Yue Qingyuan plot. And when even that doesn't help, he loses his patience and kills everyone.
Then he sits there, on his throne, surrounded by hot women, fully charred, not so little anymore, and without a Shizun he can hope to one day convince of his worth.
There sits Shen Yuan, a world away, growing increasingly frustrated at how purposeless Bingge's life has become.
Then the extra happens, and Bingge gets transported to a world where another Binghe got everything he ever wanted: the love of his Shizun. And, all at once, the hope he thought he had killed and buried flares back to life, never having been dead after all, and burns Binghe up until he's nothing more than the bare bones of his desperation.
But the other Shizun doesn't love him. He only loves the other, inferior Binghe. He looks upon Bingge coldly before he sees his husband and his eyes turn warm. And it's like Bingge is looking at a funhouse mirror, at a world of dreams and wishes that never came true.
In the end, he's still as unlovable as he has ever been. And he goes back to his own world, and he feels flayed with the knowledge of everything he will never have.
And I just think it's impressive how Shen Qingqiu manages to break every version of Binghe without even trying.
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I just saw your essay on the codependency of FizzOzzie and it cleared up a lot of things I've been thinking about this ship and to be honest, I myself thought it was the most healthiest ship in the whole show even better than the trash that Stoliz is but well... (btw, I was trying to scroll through tumblr to find it but can you just link it for me so I coud read it again)?
It also brings me to an idea of the possibility brung up in two fics each with different ideas:
#1 if Hazbin's events every leak in Helluva's since they're the same universe, there's a possibility that Lucifer would want to have precautionary heirs for the defense of Hell and outright force Ozzie and any other relationships with lowerclass apart since it's "not compatible with angelic DNA" or some thing, so Ozzie could in fact leave Fizz because of his status
#2 Ozzie getting tired of Fizz... Ozzie is the sin of Lust after all and Lust can be ever-changing and capricious in its nature as a sin. Ozzie’s character, embodying Lust, might lead to a fluctuating commitment level, influencing his interactions and relationships. In biblical lore, he did end up causing a lot of sinful things like fucking a human named Sarah or so I remember?
Again this is the same guy who humiliated Blitzø in Ozzie, S2 just rewrote him completely (btw, in my rewrite I'mma change him to be more evil and instead give the whole "lovey-dovey Sin" idea to Satan who is female and thinks Asmodeu's "fake-love" is like a slap in the fact to her idea of realistic and true romance)
I'd just feel like Fizz would be better off with Blitzø tbh or Striker or all in a threesome... the possibilities are endless, and why is the show making love seem too fairytale and unrealistic?! Like Blitzø shouldn't have to fuck Stolas just because he was his arranged playmate for just one day??? The show did the childhood friends trope dirty and would be better if Stoliz was a thing until mid-teens broke up for [insert reason] and reconnect but honestly, Stolas should've had his own seperate season/arc dedicared to himself if HB was an anthology show
Also the fact that Asmodeus couldn't just burn the contract, one-shot the lawyer and go on a rampage to save Fizz is just beyond me... the Sins are supposed to be these scary demon lords so why aren't they, hm?
Sorry for rambling and what do you think or want to add?
Absolutely here you go.
The consistent failure of Vivziepop is to commit to a mature story. She describes her own protagonists as "Deeply flawed but understandably traumatized people who just need love to fix them" while the villains of her shows are "irredeemable" (and women, but that's a tangent).
I mentioned before that trying to use the excuse of the setting being Hell and playing that out to the logical conclusion would end up exactly like Good Omens. The whole moral of said show being that imperfect humanity is worth saving, that life is worthy and beautiful for its own sake of existence. That is why the story of Good Omens uses the Bible, angels, and demons to tell it's story, to make that point.
Why is Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel set in Hell? What is being said by the plot, themes and story? So far we have that demons are better people than the Angels in Hazbin. That sacrifice is the only virtue worthy of redemption and thus reinforces backwards Christian ideals of penance.
Personally, I would have made Hell less absurd. Less a place of debauchery and chaos and more a mere continuation of life. We see in the Hazbin Pilot a character falls from the sky and says "I'm alive?" Before being hot by Travis' car. The point being that people just transition from one life to the next and in that they keep living life the way they always have.
My personal criticisms of the series' use of Hell is that it established this idea that people only behave if they have a god to fear. Once in Hell, there is no salvation, so why bother. It's like a Christian asking an atheist why they wouldn't commit murder if they don't believe in God. The answer is that people like order and security. People dying would seek to maintain their status quo from life. A lack of salvation wouldn't change that for them.
And frankly, I wouldn't have redemption be a thing. This story and its messages are actively devalued by the act of redeeming sinners when the Angels are just the same as them. By having Hell just be a warped continuation of life on Earth, it makes the message more universal: Life is Hell. Life is suffering in a way Hell can never hope to be. Physical anguish and torment for all eternity can never amount to the pain of the fleeting and the terror of change and uncertainty.
I would have made it impossible to be redeemed because the fact is, regardless what you believe happens after death, what we know we have is life. We fear death so much we have created salvation throughout history, the wish to keep living forever in some way. But, especially for young people, life is harder now than ever before. It's more terrifying and uncertain and cruel and uncaring.
So if life is Hell, how do you be happy?
That would have been my thesis for the show. The message underneath is all about finding happiness in the absence of salvation. Even the idea that maybe salvation is something we should reject to really feel what it means to be alive. Giving up on our deaths and seeking our own fulfillment, and in that finding community, love, and hope. To see true humanity as something selfish and kind at the same time.
That's how I would have taken the concept.
#hazbin critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critical#hazbin hotel critical#vivziepop critical#ask and answer
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So, I started watching Hell's Paradise..
IT'S. SO. FREAKING. GOOD!!! ( Ramble under the cut! Spoilers and possible grammar mistakes ahead!!! )
I'm only on, like, episode seven, but I'm really enjoying myself!!!
Starting off with my boy, my man, my loverboy nonchalant Gabimaru!! His design immediately drew me in the first episode and I find his writing very good so far. A man, who was grown and groomed into being this emotionless killing machine only to dream of going completely against that all because of his love for his wife? SIGN ME UP!! I love how conflicted he is and how much those conflictions are weighing on him. How, because of how he was raised and what has happened to him, he's been treading this line and constantly tipping over the edge of "I'm a heartless, empty killer who's only purpose is to kill" and "I want to live a peaceful, normal life with the one I love/I don't want to kill anymore". The symbolism, how his character's portrayed, those small moments of vulnerability that shows how he differs from your typical cold killer and is actually just this morally broken guy who was raised/influenced by an actual monster; the head chief. ( Who, by the way, is literal nightmare fuel. I don't usually get creeped out easily by stuff in anime's, but the way Mappa went about drawing him is just..terrifying.. )
OH, AND HIS FIGHTING IS MMMM SO ADDICTING TO WATCH!! >.<
Next up is Yamada Asaemon Sagiri, or Sagiri for short. I want to first off get it out of the way by say that she's drop dead gorgeous. Imean, look at her!! No seriously, look-
As someone who absolutely adores strong female characters, it was no surprise that I fell in love with her! She reminds me a lot of Yona as she goes against what the norm was at the time and decided to become a swordsman despite everyone telling her she's better suited as a wife and mother simply because of the fact that she's a woman. ( Which irked me every. single. time. it was brought up btw ) I love how the author is going about her and how she struggles because she feels guilt for even the most evil of people simply because she's an empath--something that is often considered a womanly trait in the eyes of the people, especially men, of that time--but doesn't go too far with it and make her seem weak and useless because of those struggles. I like that, even though she hesitates and sometimes gets help from others ( mostly from Gabi from what I've seen so far ), she gets the job done and doesn't sit there and call for help like some damsel in distress and actually uses her strength!!
My love for her was explained pretty simply in episode six when Genji pointed out how she has the talent to be able to flip flop between being dominant and powerful like a man, but still holds the sense of gentleness and care one would only find in the heart of a woman. I love that quality about her in the same sense I love Mitsuri Kanroji's quality of being able to be cheery, feminine, and delicate despite being involved in such a 'manly' and grizzly job that being a demon slayer is.. AHHH IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT ANY FURTHER, I JUST HOPE YOU GET WHAT I MEAN!!
Next up is the vixen, Yuzuriha of Keishu. I haven't seen much of her yet, but I love her design and overall appeal. Although, she puts up this front of being this carefree, seductive airhead, you can tell there's just so much more to her and can't wait to see it. ( Although I feel like when she does show her true colors, it'll be when she finally betrays Gabimaru and Sagiri like she implied she would.. )
( Also this little stunt she pulled in this clip had me in a chokehold for a hot minute. Like MMMMM LOVE IT WHEN HOT WOMEN DO HOT WOMEN THINGS!! )
Toma and Chōbei are next up! When I first saw Chōbei, of course my mind immediately went to, "Oh shit, it's bakugo!" lmao- His fighting style is cool and his backstory is heartbreaking. Past that though, I'm undecided whether I like him or not..
Like, his backstory was tragic and had me feeling bad as a sad backstory would. It was also amazing in the sense that it gave me more understanding on why he became the way he did and how his mentality was shaped because of it. I find it cool that he has a knack of adapting to any situation too! ..And that's also why I'm so conflicted when it comes to him..
That leads me to bring up Toma, who I immediately fell in love with as soon as I saw his character design. ( I have a thing for men/boys with long hair, mkay? Don't judge me.. ) I haven't really wrapped my head around his character yet ( like his brother ) but it's obviously that he sorta idolizes Chōbei, so much to the point that he didn't hold any gripes towards him when he thought he was going to leave him for dead--which is my main dislike about Chōbei right now.
But yeah, if I had the chance, I'd still date them no questions asked- *smack*
I find Gantetsusai and Fuchi funny and cute together and overall find a good so far. I especially like Fuchi. He's a quirky little guy 😚
( And this height difference kills me. Like LOOK AT HOW LITTLE FUCHI ISSS )
And finally, we have Nurugai and Tenza, who is ranking up to be my 2nd favorite pair in this entire show! Putting aside that Nurugai literally evokes my gender envy, I love her and Tenza both individually and together! I love Tenza's kind soul, how he scouted out Nurugai because he wanted to help her after finding out why she was sentenced to death row! I find it such a highlight of his character and it makes me love the contrast between his brighter self when compared to Nurugai, who's more gloomy and has been traumatized into adapting this matured mindset.
Bonus points for being the only two to not immediately get into it with each other when on the island as well! It really was a breath of fresh air! Oh, an extra points for making me smile like an idiot- 🥰
So far I'm in love with this show! Idk yet where it falls on my anime rankings, but it's definitely high enough up there to spur me to write a drabble or five about this show! Can't wait to watch more in my spar time!!
#ari talks#ari rambles#hell's paradise#hells paradise#jigokuraku#gabimaru#yamada asaemon sagiri#yuzuriha of keishu#aza chobei#aza toma#tamiya gantetsusai#yamada asaemon fuchi#yamada asaemon tenza#nurugai
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John Constantine x male!reader x Zatanna Zatara headcanons
*Matt Ryan as Constantine and Jade Tailor as Zatanna*
● 3 magicians/occultists sure make for a hell of an interesting relationship
● traveling around the world keeping the paranormal and supernatural at bay
● and always enjoying a good drink at the end of the day
● or before noon if it's just that kind of day
● which it often is because exorcisms can take a lot out of you
● going to Zatanna's magic shows and proudly cheering her on from the front row
● and always volunteering yourselves when she asks for audience participation
● John still gets a kick whenever she cuts him half
● when you or John annoy Zatanna she just casually drops a spell to turn you guys into rabbits
● "what did we do this time??"
● "you guys ate my leftovers again that I clearly labeled were mine!"
● Zatanna also has to stop you and John from doing stupid shit like when you drunkenly dare each other to try on doctor fates helmet
● "come on Z we weren't really gonna do it… again"
● Zatanna is extremely protective of her boys
● you've seen a lot of scary demons in your day but none are more terrifying than Zatanna when you or John are in danger
● John taking you and Zatanna to punk shows
● Zatanna pushing John into a mosh pit as a joke but he actually had a blast
● "bloody hell loves did you see that! That was awesome!!"
● stealing John's trench coat to mess with him
● "I would be mad because no one touches my coat but damn do you look good in it"
● and then one time you did a spell to swap John's and Zatannas outfit
● John was loving it "I mean it's a little tight on the boys but my ass sure looks good" he says as he's proudly checking himself out
● you've been banned from pretty much every movie theater because of John talking during the movie
● "he's the killer it's so obvious" he says as he throws popcorn at the screen
● "how can I be disturbing the other guests when this movie is bloody garbage!" He yells as you three are being escorted out by the usher
● it's not uncommon for one of you to find your partners surrounded by old books
● "what are we dealing with this time?"
● "not sure yet but in the last month there's been four mysterious deaths in Louisiana that we need to go check out"
● "I'll call Abby to see if she and alec can meet up with us, maybe they've heard something"
● "not that bloke again, he smells like a damn swamp"
● "John..."
● taking turns on who gets to be in the middle when you sleep
● but John always has to be the little spoon
● he refuses to be anything but the little spoon especially after sex
● and damn is the sex good
● using spells to make sex last all night long
● along with magically enhanced sex toys
● like self binding scarves
● magical wax that alternates between being hot and cold for the ultimate temp play
● or John being able to feel you inside him while you're fucking Zatanna
● Zatanna chanting spells that makes your bed float into the air
● you and John are sure to keep Zatanna thoroughly satisfied
● and Zatanna knows her way around a strap whenever she's in the mood to top you two
● John loves it when he gets a good pounding from both you and Zatanna
● and he will happily take one of you in his mouth while the other rails his ass
● lots of adrenaline filled sex after jobs go wrong and one of you nearly dies
● and pulling over to the side of the road to have sex in your car mid road trip to your next job after two of you have been fooling around in the backseat or one of you teasing the driver from the passenger seat
● so much sex around your magical safehouse in Atlanta
● which occasionally results in the unleashing of evil spirits when you accidentally knock over an mystical artifact
● "Oh that could have been really bad"
● "yeah we really dodged a bullet there but can you get back to going down on me now"
#dc imagine#john constantine x zatanna zatara x reader#john constantine imagine#john constantine x reader#zatanna zatara imagine#zatanna zatara x reader#x male reader#headcanons
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So my opinions on all the Dead Boy Detective/DBDA Characters
All of these are opinions as someone who has watched the show a few times now and also the Doom Patrol episode and I’ll give my opinions on the Doom Patrol versions at the end.
Spoilers for Dead Boy Detectives Show. And Doom Patrol season 3 ep. 3 and that episode alone
Charles Rowland
- Charles is such a sweetheart I love him. He’s always looking out for his friends and literally went to hell for Edwin, and kicked the Night Nurse for him. I just love him so much.
- I felt so bad for him in episode one when he says his dad, “wasn’t the nicest guy,” and in episode three when we see him break being forced to see a father k!ll his family over. I was actually crying with him saying he doesn’t “want to be a bad guy”! It broke me so badly, the abuse he went through and the fear he’ll become like his abusers is a very real thing and to see a character go through that makes the story feel more real, and makes me more sad. He could use some therapy.
- Him being the “brawn” of the team is pretty funny to me but thats most because if you watch the cast interactions you’ll see what I mean.
- All in all, I love him. He is loving, protective, loyal and has golden retriever with attachment issues energy mixed with scary dog privilege but the dog isn’t scary unless provoked.
Edwin Paine/Payne
- Adorable, get him some therapy please! He needs it! Man was so repressed for the first part of this show I thought I’d die before he confessed. But I don’t blame him honestly, his death was traumatic and being called a “Mary Ann” whilst being sacrificed likely would put a bad taste in your mouth about the idea of you being queer in any way shape or form. I am so proud of him good job!
- Honestly he just makes me so happy, and I love how he interacts with everyone and grows!
Crystal Palace
- I love her she is so bad ass and I hope wish the best for her
- She needs better taste in men, my suggestion date women
- I want to see a little more of her Nepo baby side of her past cause clearly that was a thing
Niko Sasaki
- Sweetie! I miss her! She was the only other person other than Charles to get Edwin out of his shell and it hurts me so much to see her be gone. Her death will forever haunt me.
Cat King
- I love him so much, he is my favourite kind of not evil but not good guy the kind that plays a game with people by flirting! Ahhh I love him! I don’t love that he falls for Edwin(I’ll make a separate post on this issue)
- Anywho I still love him he gives off chaotic gender neutral vibes and the song Sex With a Ghost was made for him, I just love him!
Monty the Crow
- Monty I love you but don’t kiss people without consent!
- Honestly he was very important, and sweet he didn’t deserve all the pain he’s been through, may better things come his way.
Jenny the Butcher
- Badass. I love everything about her. Her style, the way she gives advice, yes I just love her so much. I want to see more of her.
- Her episode made me so sad for her ;-;
Esther Finch
- Honestly I love her as a villain she was so evil, and a genuine threat. She is also so hot and scary I just love her.
David the Demon
- A creep I didn’t like him, I don’t know what else you want?
Doom Patrol versions!
Charles Rowland
- He was so funny in this, I loved him. I love how the show conveyed a mutual interest from him to Edwin they are both just too dense to say anything about it. I also love that it seems the only thing he knows about America is that they like baseball.
- They did have to go off and hurt me with the fear of water scene, but he was so sweet protecting Edwin from the Night Nurse(who in this is just 10 times scarier)
Edwin Paine
- Him not getting anything about modern times and brushing off his feelings for Edwin was so well done! I love how he tells Larry he “isn’t like him” saying he isn’t queer and that if he were that would be bad, he says this all in a very rude and brash tone and then proceeds to comfort Charles in the nicest to he is capable of.
- Beautiful 10/10
Crystal Palace
- Boss ass Bitch, girl boss. 8/10 I love her but no real opinions yet that is I may go back one day and edit this for her
I hope you liked this dumb post :3
#i’m hyperfixating#dead boy detectives#dead married couple on acid#dead boy detective netflix#dead boy detective agency#dbda#watch dbda#text post#my post#charles rowland#edwin paine#edwin payne#crystal palace#dead boy detectives doom patrol#niko sasaki#monty the crow#cat king#esther finch#jenny the butcher#david the demon#opinions on characters#i just wanted to post something#this was longer than i expected#this is subject to change#this show is so good#this show has taken over my life#this show has me in a chokehold#this is actually something my diagnosed ADHD has decided is the most important thing in my life and the reason to wake up in the morning
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My name is ebony dark'ness lucifer raven way. Like gerard way, but we're not related or anything. Im glad we aren't, because he's sooo hot. I have long ebony black hair, like my name, with red streaks and I'm wearing knee high boots with a black mini skirt and sexy fishnet tights with a cut black top with cut off sleeves and my hair is in my eyes because im emo. That prep chuck or whatevr is staring at me. I put my middle finger up at him.
Im walking through a random foggy street somewhere in the midwest. There r murders here and its sooo Gothic, im a vampire but my teeth ate straight and white and nobody would ever know but ima actually a good vampire because the ones who suck SUCK. Its like if edward cullen didn't suck. Anyway i look over at the gotjic murders sadly and watch as the the sexy fbi agents ask the mother of the murder about... Vampires. When they turn around, they look at me and oh my god that's not an fib agent its DEAN WINCHESTER?
Dean walks over sadly and introduces himself as bill ward with his partner, geezer butler. I laugh sadly and tell him "too bad i know who you really are... Dean and Sam winchester" they look at me.in shock. "Im a friend of the sexy bobby singer too i know you" they both gasp mournfully. "Well if you know Bobby why don't we.meet up later and uh go out later." I smile and accept. Omg im going out with dean winchester!!¡!
Gothically time skips
When i go to my gothically shutty hotel i call bonby "oh my god dean is taking me out later" and bonby replied "i cant believe you didn't tell me you liked him earlier" "i didn't want to tell yoi bwcause you wouldnt believe me" bonby hung up the phone bc he had ither things to do.
Getting dressed i put on thigh high platform boots, a short black jean skirt, and a hoodie crop top with zipper in the middle and skull.hands on the front and the sleeves ripped down to my hands. I put on a chocker and black cross star earrings (a.n. if u dont know what.that is too bad, leave my story alone prepz xoxo) i put on black lipstick and black.eyeliner and pulled my bangs down to my eyes and shown the red streaks in my long raven hair.
Dean drives up in his shiny black 67 impala and when i get in i am happily shocked. Instead of the normal interior, he had painted the my chemical romance black parade album cover on the dash!! Maybe he is gothic after all, because when inlooked over to him he was wearing ripoed jeans, black nail polish, a chain necklace with black eyeliner on his green eyes and black boots. "Im surprised there is no Sam" i say gothicaly happy for it to be just him. He said and gloomily replied "Sam is busy being a nerd preo" i look at him confused. "Wym he is a nerd prep?? That's nor sam that's his weird gothelganger (a.n. get it?? Like doppelganger but goth?) Jared padeleski" "oh yeah, Sam is reading about werewolves and demons i forgot" i look concerned. "How could u forger about ur own brother??" He gothically says "i did a lot of cool weed before i picked you up, i brought some for you too" he stops and looks shyly under his combed forward banhs "if you would take some from me" i nod happily and.off we go.
"I hope you like good charlotte because that's.who we are seeing" i am so.happy, dean truly is emo now.
At the.concert we dance and laugh and make fun of that evil prep Hillary fucking duff. On our way back.he makes a stop ourside of the woods. "What r you doing???" I asked confused. He sighs and says "enoby, ibe known who you are for a while. Bobby told me all about you. I've lobed you for a while" i gasp "really!!!" "Really" he says gothifically. We get out and wander into the forest. He pins me against the wall. "Omg are we gonna do a sex" he laughs and smiles bwfore putting his thing in my thing and-
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"
We stop and look up. It was.... Chuck? The weird guy? "Ur not supposed to be doing this dean! I have a headache" i look at him sadly, poor weird guy. Dean stops and says "chuck i know you wamt me but my heart belongs to enoby" chuck looks angry "no not you dean, her" i gasp. Dean looks angry "all this time i could have been with cas?" Chuck looks sad. "No the cw was too homophobic, you cant be balls deep in your angel. Not right now. You cant be balls deep in her either, she's mine" i stop. "Who even r u" i ask "i am god" i laugh at him. Dean looks at me and confirms. "Oh my god" i say deprezzedly. "No its chuck" says dean.
Suddenly Sam runs through the trees being chased by his gothelganger jared padaleski. Chuck gets angry and shoots the annoying guy. "Thank you" says same before he stops and says "chuck? stop trying to fucj my brother. When his gay love for cas reached through the veil of death and saved the day even though cas actually stayed dead.into superhell because of the evil cw it turned him gothic he's too goffic for you" chuck sighed and said "i know its not.him i want."
I stop and realize.that dean winchester and god are fighting over me. Same looks and says "wait, i hear someone else in the trees." As we all looked and waited and staired in comes... Bonby and.. Cas? But i thought cas was dead? Bonby speaks "here is the man who killed the cw sniper.. He has something to say" i look at him gothically "i am not your "cas" i am his gothelganger misha collins" i gasp. He says something about killing god and makes some metaphor about how he killed the cw sniper cw is god wharever i don't care but then.... Misha collins gave me a gun!! I wasn't.really listening to him, i was too busy thinking depressing thoughts and.i yell "im not killing dean u weirdo i lobe him!!!" Bonby looks at me and starts "you idjit" but then stops as one more person comes through the trees. It was jensen ankles!! "Jensen ankles??" Dean says "i don't want a gothelganger that.isn't goffic" Jensen replies "i will be soon, i need to reach through the veil of death for my own gay love" and he ... Shoots god??? "That's what i wanted you to do" mischa says before kissing jensen gothically depressedly i look and see dean looking jealous so i go and kiss him "im better than your gay angel anyway" and he agrees and then same and bonby are looking at each other depressedly and start clapping.
Prepz don't hate.on mah story okay??
#Destiel#cockles#balls deep destiel#supernatural#supernatural fanfic#ebony dark'ness dementia raven way#my immortal#my immortal parody#cw sniper#misha collins#tara gilesbie#dean winchester#jensen ankles#bobby singer#i have no excuse#this started as a one paragraph joke then evolved#good luck tumblr#once again i have no excuse#i live in fear of what i myself have created
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Hot take: The Woobification of Sebastian and O!Ciel-How Beauty Clouds Judgement
Hey guys, it’s me again and I can’t sleep. I have another hot take to share! Once again, please don’t take this too seriously, I’m just talking.
So, I just want to start off by saying that I totally get it. I mean it! We’ve been following these characters for years and we’ve gotten so invested in there stories and we can’t help but want them to win, you know? It’s human nature to want to root for the underdog in some ways. And, O!Ciel kinda fits the mold of underdog when you consider his backstory.
But, and this is my opinion, Ciel and Sebastian are NOT the underdogs. And I can’t help but think that if they both weren’t so pretty, you’d see a lot less people excusing their behavior or rooting for them.
I should also stress that I’m not talking about the people who look at these characters through a complex lense, I’m more so talking about people who are insistent that O!Ciel and Sebastian are good people/not evil.
Like I said, I get it and I empathize with the kid, but the kid is a BASTARD. He has progressively become an awful, awful person and that’s the POINT. And I can’t help but find it boring when people try to strip that away from him.
People feel bad for O!Ciel because he’s been through a lot, which yeah he definitely has. And people are mad at R!Ciel for standing against him and at Lizzy for turning on him, at least for now.
And, again, I kinda get it because we’ve been with O!Ciel for so long and it’s natural to root for him. But, O!Ciel is not the good guy! Lol what’s happening right now is that he’s currently being forced to face the consequences of his own actions. Which, let’s be honest, he wasn’t expecting to ever have to do because of his personal countdown death clock, Sebastian.
I can understand why he told those lies, especially at the beginning. But there’s no excuse for them anymore. He should have BEEN told everyone the truth. Would it have been easy? Of course not. But it would’ve been the right thing to do. While it’s understandable why he did what he did, he still took away his family’s ability to grieve and R!Ciel’s ability to rest, at least in my opinion.
Also, I think it’s important to note that, after a point, O!Ciel started to ENJOY being Ciel. So much so that he’s willing to fight the real Ciel for his own name. Which is absurd when you think about it!
His family absolutely ain’t shit for not only not noticing the difference, but also not doing anything to step in and really be there for that boy. But again, that’s part of the point of what Yana is trying to say in that upperclass Victorian society is/and was depraved, shallow, and mostly evil.
O!Ciel may have been thinking of the others when he made his initial decision but the decision was still selfish. I think that it’s ok to say that; while yes, he suffered from heavy survivors guilt and truly thought that his family would prefer for R!Ciel to come back (and unfortunately he wasn’t wrong), he still, if only subconsciously, wanted the power, prestige, and access that R!Ciel’s name carried.
He LIKES being Ciel now and loathes his old name and position. He LIKES the power, the access, the maneuverability, hurting people when they get in his way, killing those who wronged him, the security of Sebastian’s presence, the ability to make his dream come true (made a lot easier with Ciel’s name), the dark mind games he plays with people. ALL OF IT. He loves it and that’s the POINT.
And Sebastian is a demon. Yes we all know that, that’s not news. However, I still feel like we give the man (entity, whatever) too much credit a lot of the time. Again, mostly because he’s pretty.
Is it possible that he grew to care for O!Ciel in someway? Sure! And I do believe he legitimately has a lot of respect for O!Ciel. But I honestly think it’s more likely that the bastard is hungry and the current events are making him worried that he’ll end up being killed or losing his meal in the end. I don’t think it’s impossible or too much of a stretch to say that he’s grown fond of O!Ciel in someways, but best believe that child is food. Yana even outright says that Sebastian LOVES to see Ciel suffer! Only it’s not so fun when Sebastian is also suffering too, lol he’s a narcissist.
TLDR: It makes sense why people root for O!Ciel and Sebastian. But I think we give these two way too much credit sometimes and there’s an over abundance of people trying to absolve them both of their evil. They are both garbage (lovable garbage!) that are currently facing the consequences of (mostly Ciel’s) actions. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Please don’t kill me.
#Kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji manga#o!ciel#sebastian michaelis#character analysis#unpopular opinion#Meta#please don’t kill me#I hope I’m not coming across as condescending and apologize if I am#these are just my thoughts#please don’t take this too seriously#i’m just talking#ciel phantomhive#elizabeth midford
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