#he DID betray himself for nothing!!!!!!!
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Get fyodor’d, bitch
#he DID betray himself for nothing!!!!!!!#kafka asagiri the man that you are!!!!#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#shitpost#fukuzawa yukichi#fukuchi genichirou#fukuchi ouchi#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#bsd fukuchi
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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this is complete insanity on my part because i thought about PIDW!Shang Qinghua a little too much but
he and PIDW!Mu Qingfang were in love. to me.
they never actual got together before og!sqh died but there was mutual pining happening
trust, i spoke to airplane himself (<- guy being delusional about two double fictional characters (characters that are fictional within a factional setting))
#i don’t know WHY my brain decided this#but listen. listen to me.#shang qinghua always coming back from his trips off mountain with injuries#and mu qingfang being concerned about him#but he always brushes it off#‘i was never gifted in martial skill shidi you know that’#or saying he fell or got bruised on some boxes or something#and no one knows about the (mobei-jun inflicted) injuries except for mqf#bc sqh asks him to not worry their martial siblings (but really he just doesn’t want lqg or sqq to be more suspicious of him)#an og shang qinghua who DID care about some of his martial siblings#but not more than he cared about himself#not enough to save them#not enough to not betray them for a man who would eventually kill him#i love og!sqh#partially because we know nothing about him#so i can play with him like a barbie doll#sneaky little hidden snake my beloved#shang qinghua#original shang qinghua#og shang qinghua#pidw#pidw shang qinghua#proud immortal demon way#scum villian self saving system#scum villain#scumbag self saving system#scumbag villain#svsss#mxtx svsss#id speaks
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(mgv) for a not-so-insignificant portion of his life, house was terrified of being suggestible to the alpha voice as john wasn't afraid to supplement his punishments with them so house would be physically incapable of not complying.
the first time wilson used the voice on house in a fit of frustration after house's incessant needling regarding wilson's obvious lack of life fulfillment ("you're not happy, you're just married."), house was genuinely afraid. he avoided him for days. wilson, mortified by his own loss of control and desperate to apologize, did Not let this be what killed their friendship, effectively (accidentally) sabotaging his own marriage to bonnie by prioritizing his relationship with house over his relationship with her. again.
#house md#house mgv#mgv#of course house forgives him#he is physically incapable of being away from wilson for too long even if for a split second he was genuinely scared of him#even once they're going back to routine and house acts like nothing ever happened >#he still has subtle tells he's readjusting now that he Knows that wilson could easily weaponize the voice >#to hold power over him just as john did to him when he was a child. fidgeting when wilson's in a bad mood or >#tensing if he gets too close before he forces himself to relax. wilson notices of course but doesn't say anything even though it kills him#wilson promises house he'll never do it again. house knows he will. and he does#though because wilson DIDN'T take advantage of house that first time house subconsciously takes to these slip-ups as exposure therapy#like house flustering wilson with dirty lines to the point where wilson uses the voice when he tells him to shut up#which serves to prove to house he WAS getting more riled up than he let on#while also showing through wilson's immediate regret that he cares about him enough to never use it against him#no matter how much trouble house gets into wilson doesn't use it to control him like some bad alphas would#cuddy even gently suggests wilson use the voice on house when he needs to be wrangled#and wilson pushes back every time bc he doesn't need to betray house's trust to tame him#which is true!! he knows house well enough to play him without weaponizing biology most of the time
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#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#red dead redemption arthur#red dead redemption ii#rockstar games#gamingedit#photomode#virtual photography#gaming photography#in game photography#pc gaming#vgedit#camera tools#the way he tires to save others from Dutch#and still thinking that he's not a good person -maybe not much- is so sad.#saying that he doesn't have that option anymore and he have to help others to escape#he sees other people who leave and support them - even reverend he saved and did nothing but stealing#I don't understand why did he chose to trust and bring back Dutch even when he knows it wouldn't happen#the story is so very sad#he is so kind hearted - smart - intelligent and never believed that he is#Dutch always betrayed him - never saved him and blamed him for everything#Dutch never thought any of them and kept all the money to himself - go with Micah just because he's just like him.#used everyone on his path and at the end he thought he was the hero#the way John thanking him for shooting Micah was so annoying#none of them were mad at him for what he made him got through#all John said was 'he is a colorful person' 😂 understatement of the game stories ever
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Man, I'm so obsessed with Steel Under Silk.
I thought for so, so sure that Heeyrang would let his heart get the best of him and let Yeonjo go. Instead, he went the complete opposite direction.
But of course he did.
He and Yeonjo are exactly the same. One is desperately, unwaveringly suicidal and one wants to live so desperately he'll kill to survive, but beyond that, they are the exact same. Their stubbornness, their pride, their obsession with violence as a defense mechanism and rejection of any positive emotion as something weak and dangerous.
Yeonjo stared happiness in the face and decided that it simply couldn't be him. That he had to go through with it, because not going through with it meant giving up on everything he'd built his self-worth around. He decided that he couldn't find forgiveness, love, happiness, peace, comfort; he had to burn the bridge for a messy murder-suicide that no one in his family asked of him.
But in the end, he couldn't kill him. He never would have been able to, even before he was caught. He knew the poison couldn't kill him. He just wanted to kill himself, but his pride wouldn't let him go without saying he tried.
Heeyrang had to stare this betrayal in the eye and realize he actually does love Yeonjo, and he does regret what he did, that Yeonjo could never possibly forgive even when things are going good. He has to face the fact that his actions, all he's done just to survive, means he walks a path where he can never trust others. But in order to continue on, in order to not unravel his entire sense of self, he has to steel himself and pretend he doesn't care and act even worse. He has to burn the bridge, just like Yeonjo did. Because the only other option is remorse. And if he looks back at everything he did and regrets it, where does that leave him?
Just a bastard who became a murderer. Just like if Yeonjo had to look back with nothing to show for it, he'd only be a traitor's son that became a prostitute.
They're so similar it's insane. The exact same while being polar opposites. If they were reborn in opposite situations, in opposite body types, they would end up in this same situation, doing the same thing to the other that the other is now doing to them.
#steel under silk#i'm so so so so so obsessed with their dynamic#I think this is really like#Like other stories like it have a clear victim and abuser#These two just hurt and betray each other and are only victims of circumstance and their own bad actions really#You can't even really argue that Heeyrang has done nothing good by Yeonjo#He was going to set him free. Yeonjo is the one that forced himself to become his lover#And then was treated like a wife of a lord. He was pampered. He had a servant.#And it was Yeonjo that did the first act to throw it away because he couldn't allow himself to be happy#So they break each other's hearts#That quote from that movie..#'In another life I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you'#I think it really really applies to them#You can tell they're soulmates. You can tell they're made for each other.
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God I still haven't gotten over the gut punch that was Millia saying "God, I hope not."
That ending is seared into my subconscious.
#I will preface this by saying I Truly don't think Millia and Venom wholeheartedly hate each other despite everything going on between them#but I *do* think they see themselves in each other and they *hate* that they do#I think from Millias perspective Venom is what she could've been and from Venoms perspective Millias betrayed everything they both are#to Millia Venoms someone clawing at a past shes trying to free herself from#Millia left the door open behind her yet Venom would rather stay where he is. Clinging to the memory of a dead man that did them both wrong.#but to Venom the guild was all they had. I think when Venom lost Zato it was like he'd lost *everything*#I think Venom taking over the guild was him trying to put the pieces of his life back together.#I don't think Venom can see himself being anything other than what he is like Millia can.#I think the closest the two have come to understanding each other WAS in that ending#I think Millia got through to him and thats what made Venom realise they're “like twins separated at birth”#thats why it hurt. so bad. that Millias response was “God. I hope not.”#it understandably would've struck a nerve. After everything how could you think we're still anything like each other?#“god. I hope not.” god I hope there's not a world where I live the way you do.#GJGGGUHUH GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE-#I'm a little scatterbrained at the moment. also I'm a fool I know nothing I may sound like a silly clown disclaimer big time.#I know I gotta look into some sub material for the guild to get a better grasp on them#I know this!#if anyone read this far in... hii#yappin'
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thinks about the sub zero brothers. explodes into a tiny million pieces
#THIS IS MY BROTHER AND I NEED A SHOVEL TO LOVE HIM.#when your brother wasnt a good man and he did deserve to die regardless of if he actually did what he was killed for#but he was your only family and you arent a good man yourself#and you will betray everything to avenge him bc thats how much he meant to you#and when he comes back hes determined to kill himself in your mind and thats not your brother anymore#you love your brother and you wants to save him but you hate your brother and he died a long time ago. thats not your brother#you cant go back to how things were but there was nothing good to return to in the first place#👍#tagging later
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Then who is Rabastan’s boyfriend going to be? Did he have a tumultuous relationship with Sirius and decided to bring his Lord back in part to break the inmates out of Azkaban to get his man back? 😂😂😂
sksksks the sheer comedy of anyone rebirthing a dark lord and staging an azkaban breakout bc they haven’t been laid in a while is just 🤌🤌
or, we could ofc, go with the classic ‘rab wanted bcj but his brother got there first and dammit roddy, u already snagged bellatrix black ffs don’t be so greedy’ just for shots and giggles ;)
(ok this is an added bit but i ran out of tags. just want to say, rab spent the next 12 years whinging and desperately pleading w sirius who was so fed up w him he threw himself in the dementors’s direction on purpose just to escape his ex)
#to be fair to dear ol rab#our asks did pair him with bcj first haha#i think i even have the tag#something like#barty and rabastan boyfriends#or sumn idk lol#so not too far fetched#also i’m just always in favor of whiny younger siblings getting trounced by their elder ones#such fun#much joy#alsoooooo#i didn’t forget#tumultuous relationship with sirius is just.#wow#i am now having thoughts#they’re on the crack side of it#picture this#sirius is sent to azkaban#rab’s heart is broken#bc they broke up a while ago but he’s obv hung up on sirius bc who isn’t#so he decides to get himself thrown in azkaban too#bc how else can he win his man’s heart back amirite#except something went wrong and the fool got his brother sister in law and their boytoy inside as well#oh well. nothing for it#he ignores them and keeps trying to get closer to sirius#who’s understandably traumatised and grieving and betrayed#and he’s just like bro wtf#we broke up?? for a reason??#and rab’s like no my love i will do whatever it takes#pen’s asks
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CATWS 10th Anniversary | April 2nd » Prompts: Bucky Barnes for @catws-anniversary
a loving homage to A Softer World and @asofteravenger
#marvel mcu#catws10#bucky barnes#arnim zola#a softer world#a softer avenger#remix#the unpaid internship of a lifetime#jyn makes stuff#please don't @ me about bucky being an unwilling participant in everything that happened to him#you will just be preaching to the choir#this is a joke about arnim zola being the devil#and maybe a little bit about bucky being unable to forgive himself for breaking#torture breaks everyone (even james buchanan barnes) but i think he will always view it as being his fault that he didn't hold out longer#i firmly believe that bucky thinks steve would have died before betraying his country and that he will never live up to his ideal of steve#regardless of the fact that it's not even the reality of who steve is or was#anyway don't @ me#babygirl did nothing wrong#screaming into the void
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao
#tp#very mixed feelings. as someone who associates herself with jeongwoo and having very similar personalities... this ep hurt a lot#idk idk#i mean i get it but i also absolutely do not get it#so many thoughts im taking this very personally what the heck#i cant really warm up to half of this part's girlies im sorry#i loved everyone on part one#as someone who also struggles with managing my social energy lvls... this was a slap in the face#bc my boy jeongwoo truly gave it his ALL the whole day and even managed to perform a couple songs for the girls#despite already having spent the whole day together#and his energy must have been SPENT already and then they pick him as MVP of the day and he has that 1:5 date with all of the girls#by himself!! which is so terrifying imagine being the one person who everyone's attention is on and you have to interact with these ppl#that you arent very comfortable with but you still try your best to give them a good time#AND THEN!! they give you NOTHING in return?? not even a recorder?? no jewel no recording nothing. just ignored like that by everyone#and i get that the girls dont know who's voting for who so they might have believed someone else was gonna give him a jewel or sth#but no one gives him anything (positive OR negative)#and yeah. he was absolutely shocked at the empty safe. i would have been too.#and why did they not give him a jewel y'all might ask??? IT WAS BC HE FELL SILENT DURING THE LAST BIT: THE DINNER#my gosh that's the part that i take offense to personally bc it's really really really difficult to always engage in convos with ppl#after spending the whole day with them already?? and your social battery is down so you quietly enjoy a simple meal??#and then all the girlies threw him away like that??#i mean yeah you're surrounded by sweet men who spend the day appealing themselves to you but come on??#i would have been so impressed by jeongwoo and thankful that he put that much effort in and would understand how difficult it is to#maintain it till the very end because not everyone has hyunsuk's boundless social energy#no offense hyunsuk i love you dearly#and also??? what's up with admitting that you lack some confidence upfront??#the girl's reasoning for giving yoshi the voice recorder was that he said he holds himself to a high standard and lacks confidence sometimes#and i get it. being confident is more attractive than someone who's always insecure and puts themselves down#(and makes the other person uncomfortable) but they were having an honest and deep convo when the thing he said in that convo was used#against him in the end? i would feel kind of betrayed too bc being able to admit that you feel insecure sometimes is a v brave thing to do!!
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shipping merthur is like shipping the homophobic guy who hates gay people just because his father does and the closeted guy who is friends with him
#magic is a good metaphor for gay people even if that wasn't the intention#and the fact that merlin is always afraid of telling arthur about a core part of himself.......#arthur. who was supposed to bring a golden age for both sorcerers and people with no magic. and what did he even do !!!! nothing !!!!!#merlin stayed by his side afraid to the very end !!!!#mordred is literally a child they both saved from a massacre and that later joins them but is left so disappointed by both#like the literal kid they saved !!! the sign of hope. betraying them and dying in the end#i really don't think they actually thought out the development. how the relationships change in s2 in comparison to s1 is the proof#sorry but polls sometimes unlock thoughts and memories. and i cannot shut up when it comes to bbc merlin#mona.txt
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was watching tiktok and a video had the song michael in the bathroom playing and I was vicerally reminded of being in middle and high school and mom always mentioning how much I looked like my dad (his name is michael) and how I slowly was able to start noticing it too and whenever I sang the song it reminded me of him and I felt like we were overlapping too often felt like id never be anyone but a shadow or his mirror and then i began learning i was trans and now the song makes me think of him even more (he’s not a bad dad he tells me he’s proud of me and stuff there’s just two really big moments he unknowingly failed and one long continuous one but he loves me and he’s proud and he supports me and he didn’t mean it and ive learned to make that enough) and the weird flashback I got when I heard that song and overlapping with his face and how if I transitioned I almost fear I’d be his clone and yeah Anywyas banger song
#the moments were that time he told me how he used to want something to be wrong with him and he’d cut himself to try and prove something was#and he showed me his incredibly faint scars and this was after I told them I was depressed and his solution was to tell me he faked it????#and didn’t even see anything wrong or worrying that he’d cut himself or was self destructive or wished something was wrong so he’d have#something to blame for being the way he was and like DAD THATS DEPRESSION but I was too numb and shocked and felt so so so betrayed becuase#it felt mocking at the time like his way of comforting me. his child. was to fucking show me his scars and be like I faked it so I know#it’s real and sorry I don’t understand WTF DAD#Other time was when he gave me his phone to play Pokémon go and I betrayed his trust (he didn’t like anyone going through his phone) and#went looking through and found Grindr and saw some shirtless photos and people messaging before I left#dad had a shirtlesss photo on there. and I had to pretend everything was fine and erase the evidence and give the phone back and help look#for furniture for our new house and never tell mom cause she’s been through so much already (I really shouldn’t have known I wasn’t her#therapist but this is about daddy issues right now not the mommy ones) so anyways I never told him and years later he told me his friends#signed him up for Grindr as a prank and to make friends and that’s why he thinks someone from his work I pranking him by signing him up#for a gay furry dating site and yet I saw him on his bed sometimes messaging people and yeah#oh and the long continous one was not divorcing mom and defending her saying she loves us when she rejected me and my sister for being trans#and being gone for most of my childhood working and never understanding the fucked up dynamic of home that took place and resenting him for#ruining the perfect routine (sharp words scary feelings always wanting to cry)#anyways michael in the bathroom always gives me weird feelings#cause I hate and love my dad and I looked up to him so much and loooking like him would’ve been a dream but sometiems the wrongs he did#come back haunt my thoughts and I want to scratch and tear apart every feature that makes me look like him. I look nothing like my mom so#there’s nothing physical to tear apart (I just act like her sometimes and have to force myself not the throw up and attack myself from the#disgust)
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If I see another one of you motherfuckers. Compare what's happening on Twitter with El/on Mu/sk to Wheatley again. This whole classroom is gonna Feel. My. Wrath. Now be nice. (/ref)
#I will slaughter this entire fandom#with my bare hands#so help me#Wheats did it bc he was emotionally unstable and thought someone who was FINALLY there for him betrayed him to take the one good thing away#SOMEONE ELSE does it because he has the money and wants to push his shit onto other people to net himself even more money#I can write an essay in the tags how these two instances have NOTHING to do with each other#but I'll stop here#also yes I cencored El/on's name#purely because I don't want my shit in the disscusion as a whole#just REAL TIRED of him getting compared to my F/O y'know?#to the moon and back
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tell me you've never watched or read naruto without telling me you've never watched or read naruto...
#naruto#naruto shippuden#''betrayed everything he knew'' won't someone please think of the fascist police state that had his family massacred?#the only thing sasuke did wrong was stab karin and you know what? he apologized the second he saw her again#''for literally nothing'' THE GOVERNMENT. ORDERED THE GENOCIDE. OF HIS WHOLE FAMILY.#THEY MADE HIS 12YO BROTHER DO IT#THE ENTIRE SYSTEM SENDS CHILDREN TO THEIR DEATHS FOR POLITICAL POWER PLAYS#and you know what else? he never fucking owed naruto his friendship. naruto's the one who couldn't accept sasuke's choice#literally he could not accept that it was sasuke's choice. he convinced himself that orochimaru made him do it#sasuke: i am leaving the village. i am doing this of my own free will bc i want to achieve the same goal i always wanted#naruto: i can't believe orochimaru is kidnapping you#sasuke: he's not#naruto: i won't let him do that sasuke#sasuke: HE ISN'T DOING THAT#naruto: sasuke i found you! now you can come home! :D#sasuke: i have absolutely no idea why you think getting closer to my goal would make me more likely to give up on it#naruto: i punched orochimaru through a tree :D#sasuke: pretty sure he enjoys stuff like that. anyway i'm still not coming back go away#naruto: i can't believe sasuke who told me he wanted to leave and told me he didn't want to come back left and won't come back...#if you find sasuke annoying that's one thing. sometimes a character just doesn't click with you#but if you hate him so much you're convincing yourself that konoha is The Good State#maybe sasuke isn't the problem here. just a thought
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