#sasuke: i have absolutely no idea why you think getting closer to my goal would make me more likely to give up on it

[evilkitten3]

tell me you've never watched or read naruto without telling me you've never watched or read naruto...

[ssa25]

Trial and Error - Sasuhina Month 2020 - Day 15

@sasuhinamonth

You’re everything I’ve never believed in.

He saw his fiance surreptitiously pull up the strap of her fuschia bodycon dress that kept sliding off her narrow shoulders. Knowing her and the colours she usually wore, it was quite obvious that the dress was borrowed. That colour on her pale skin was horrendous, and he was sure it hurt his eyes to even look directly at it. But the way the fabric moulded to her figure was exceptionally tantalizing. It was also remarkable that the usually stoic and no-nonsense Hyuuga Hiashi had not burst a nerve and ordered her to change her attire.

He was also quite proud of himself for maintaining his control and not dragging her off to some corner to tear her dress off of her body. That would gratify him on two wholly different levels. He looked around the table and found that almost everyone had their eyes away from the bright pink beacon sitting opposite to him. He reckoned it was probably to save her from the embarrassment.

She looked fidgety and uncomfortable too, but he understood that this was her way of rebelling.

Hyuuga Hinata was the opposite of everything he believed in. And oddly, that made her more endearing and charming to him.

She did not believe in cruel words or hurtful actions. While most people with their kind of money believed in solely the act of donating money for charitable causes, Hinata believed in lending a literal helping hand. She was the epitome of kindness and calm. And here she was, doing everything in her own quiet yet determined way to make him dislike her and break off the engagement. But little did she know that she was failing horribly. He liked her inspite of her dress, hair and unusually heavy makeup.

-

Uchiha Mikoto ran a gentle hand over the short tresses of Hinata that fell to her chin.

“Hmm… You’ve got a new hairstyle I see…”, she commented with a faint bit of suspicion.

Hinata tried her best not to flinch at the way her eyes narrowed. His fiance’s mother had always been nice to her, and she genuinely liked the woman. So it was not an easy decision for her to purposely make her feel disappointed.

“That’s quite strange… I could swear I spoke about how Sasuke likes long hair on women on our last dinner two weeks back.”

“Ah, d-did we? It must have slipped my mind… This is just something I’m trying for summer.”, Hinata lied through her teeth while running her fingers through her hair.

“Oh, that’s… okay… I guess… I don’t think it will grow back much in 8 weeks for the wedding though.”, Mikoto said. “But it’s alright… You look very pretty either way!”

Hinata slumped a little, worrying if she should have indeed shaved the left side of her head off like Tenten had suggested. But she had been too much of a chicken to try something so drastic. And her father would have probably had her head on a platter or something. She had already upset him with her garrish choice of dress tonight. And guessing by the many stern looks he had directed her way, she was undoubtedly going to be reprimanded after their guests departed.

She looked up from her barely eaten plate of food, to see Sasuke looking at her while hiding his smirk behind his wine glass. Immediately, she looked away hoping that she was closer to her end goal, instead of falling for her fiance’s charm.

“Will there be any changes to the living arrangements after the wedding? I’m assuming they will move into the family residence?”, Hiashi asked Fugaku. He based his presumptions on the fact that Itachi was also living with his parents post marriage. And Sasuke’s bachelor pad was not ideal for starting a newly married life.

“Oh yes, I’ve already asked Mikoto to get the eastern suite ready for the-”

“I’m already looking at some properties for the two of us to move in.”, Sasuke interrupted his father, shocking almost everyone in the room. 

“W-What do you mean you’re looking? You must stay with us.”, Fugaku insisted sharply.

Mikoto looked warily at the two of them. The father-son duo locked horns quite frequently, and she wanted to avoid any nasty confrontation in front of the Hyuugas.

But Sasuke just shook his head and explained, “That’s non negotiable. We will need our privacy. I’m sure you know how newlyweds can be.”

Hinata was shocked to hear such a shameless statement from him in front of both their parents. She wanted to hide under the table to save herself from exploding from all the embarrassment. 

Fugaku was enraged at his son’s easy dismissal of his decision. But one look from Mikoto had him press his lips together in disapproval.

Thankfully, even if all the occupants at the table were thinking something, they sure didn’t say anything. The rest of the dinner was a very quiet affair. An uncomfortably quiet affair.

-

“Izumi, if you don’t mind, can I steal my fiance away for a few minutes?”, Sasuke interrupted the two ladies who seemed to get along well.

“Ah, of course… Steal her away… I’m sure she has had enough of my pregnancy chatter anyway.”, the six month old pregnant wife of his older brother replied genially.

Sasuke took Hinata by the elbows and gently pulled her away to the massive patio overlooking the gardens. He could feel half hearted reluctance in every fibre of her body, but he knew she would not voice out her feelings openly. And he was also sure that she was slowly warming up to him, even as she tried to push him away with her futile actions.

Sasuke pushed her lightly against a wide pillar, so that they would be away from plain sight. 

“Hey.”

“H-Hi.”

“How are you, Hinata?”

She shuddered involuntarily at the way he said her name. The smirk on his face told her that the bastard knew the effect he had on her. She was horrified at how her own body betrayed her.

“Fine. I’m fine.”, she cleared her throat. “And you?”

He nodded wordlessly with a wicked tightlipped grin. And asked her another question, “What are you trying to do, Hinata?”

She shrugged and tried to appear innocent. “What do you mean?”

He chuckled and bent down so that their faces were at the same level. “I think I’ll go blind if I look at you long enough in that dress.”

She took a slow calming breath, afraid that any sudden movement will make their faces even closer. “Then… Maybe you shouldn’t look.”

“Ah, I’d prefer going blind instead.”

Her wide gray eyes reminded him of frosted glass with the barest hint of lavender. And her blushing cheeks were tempting enough to take a bite of. He gulped audibly realising the terrifying intensity of the pull this woman had on him.

“That would just prove to be contradictory.”, she quipped as soon as she regained her bearings.

Sasuke shook his head without trying to argue with her. He lifted a wayward strand of her smooth glossy hair and tucked it behind her ears before trailing the finger down her jaw to grip her chin gently.

“Stop trying to push me away Hyuuga Hinata. I won’t budge so easily.”

“Why not?”, she asked him with a frown on her face. “I’m not sure you even like me enough to go through with this marriage.”

He made a humming noise as if he was thinking about it. “I like you enough…. And I’m sure I have told you that before.”

She folded her arms as if she could shield herself from the pull she felt every time he stood close. “I’m not going to be an easy woman to manipulate.”

“Sure.”

“In fact, I think it is a good idea to live away from your family… It will be convenient for us to stay in separate bedrooms and carry on with our lives without any needless intrusion.”, she commented in a haughty manner, hoping to disappoint him.

“I intend to fulfill my marital duties to the fullest extent Hinata… That means I will have you in my bed every night. No separate bedrooms.”

She gasped loudly and looked at him with absolute consternation. “Y-you…. You mean you will force yourself on me??!!”

“Ofcourse not.”, now it was Sasuke’s turn to offended. “You will beg me to touch you.”, he said with a serious and confident expression.

Hinata stared back at him with some frustration and a certain hint of desire. She had never before felt so turned on by such blatant expression of self confidence in a man. But she forced herself to push those dangerous feelings away.

“You’ve lost your mind… I-If you think I will do anything of that sort.”

Sasuke laughed at her accusation. She was completely flustered and he was enjoying every minute of it.

“I haven’t lost my mind Hinata. Not yet. But I’m hoping I will... With you…. For you.”

And with that he had managed to render her speechless. She did not even resist him when he leaned in to kiss her softly.

Maybe there was hope for him, after all.

x

a/n: Doesn’t really match the prompt perfectly, but this is just how the story flowed when I got down to writing it. Also, apologies for the delay.

[koorinohebi]

I am curious: how would you describe Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya? And with Koji Kashin? What you've shared about them so far seems very interesting and I must know more!

Thank you for dropping by and asking about my life blood for Kiomi! xD

Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya is by far one of my most favorite things (it ties with Sarutobi Arai, another OC whom she formed a really strong bond with over the years, to the point where they are like sisters).

A little tidbit before I begin; to be perfectly honest, with the amount of stuff I dish out that's Jiraiya related, one couldn't have guessed that he was one of the characters that I absolutely HATED back in the day. Whatever admiration I have for Jiraiya mostly stemmed from Kiomi. 

Now, where do I start...

JIRAIYA

I have 3 verses for Kiomi's interactions with Jiraiya. One follows the anime/manga, one is my main verse for her which follows my RP with the Jiraiya she came to know as her sensei, and then one verse with which I've started a long long time ago (and still ongoing with @ambitiousparagon​). Since the most fleshed out is her main verse, I'll be talking about that. 

Truthfully, Kiomi's relationship with Jiraiya is supposed to border on platonic going to enemies. However, fate has a funny way of letting the stars align.

The initial plot for this was Kiomi's desperation to prove herself useful to Orochimaru that she agreed to not only get intel on Konoha, but also take down one of the 2 remaining Sannins. A suicide mission, I know. Since Tsunade had value to Orochimaru as a healer, and someone whom he believed he could still EVENTUALLY sway to his side, her lord instead sent her after the most rumbunctios one of them all. He wasn't going to tell her how to do it. Since she’s so eager to prove herself, he allowed her to plan everything. Which she did, starting with pretending to be a defector from Otogakure. Kiomi had plotted with a few of the Otonins to help her out, set an attack, do as much damage as she could while she escaped to Konoha with pretty valid info (about Sasuke, and maybe a few plans here and there) to try and earn their trust. And while she was accepted, Konoha wasn't so stupid as to simply believe a previous underling of Orochimaru. SO. In order to prevent her from doing any sort of damage, and at the same time to keep her under surveillance, Tsunade had assigned Kiomi as a "student" to Jiraiya who had just returned from one of his reconnaissance missions. And with Jiraiya being a person who doesn't stay long in the village, it seemed like a good course of action to take, one which also worked to Kiomi's advantage because it brought her closer to her goal.

Their student-teacher setup starts out very platonic. Kiomi has always been quite the curious kid. She does her best to learn whatever it was that she could. With her arrangement of being a student, it allowed her to work closely with Jiraiya who, well...being Jiraiya, mostly had his nose stuck in a hot spring somewhere. This made her wonder if this was some kind of weakness that she could exploit when the time was right so she kept a close watch. She'd been warned about his lecherous ways, but since she was a teenage kid who didnt really see herself much of anything, she could care less about his reputation. In fact, there are times when she would wonder if his so called "research" was worth all the broken ribs and bones. Often times she would also use Jiraiya’s love for women and sake as motivation to head to a new village for whatever work they need to do.

Eventually though, the more they traveled the more they kept ending up in trouble's very welcoming arms. And these were the moments when a bond of trust formed between the two. Kiomi had been very open about her principle of not caring about other people's live. Who died and who didn't. After all, she was groomed to be a tool. Her mentor, however, was not having any of that nonsense. Jiraiya instills in her repeatedly the value of human life. True enough that taking one was easy, but preserving it along with learning how to understand one another despite all the differences was the goal of being a shinobi. He also pretty much treats her like an actual human being rather than just someone expendable, which sparked Kiomi's curiosity all the more. Because while Orochimaru had been kind (manipulative), Jiraiya was a very warm individual who didnt seem like his kindness had any strings attached. He also allows her to just bloom into her own person, encouraging her to rediscover herself as more than just a Shinobi, but as a living breathing human being. More than being a mentor on jutsus and other skills, what endeared Jiraiya to Kiomi was how much values and lessons about life she learned from him. To the point where she could no longer push through with her mission of assassinating him, and instead permanently defecting to Konoha. It also helps that Jiraiya hinted that he knew about her supposed betrayal. Where one would have normally sentenced her to execution because she was the enemy, the Toad Sage believed in her, and it was that benevolence that ultimately defeated her.

So it went from platonic to an eventual slow burn of becoming a ship. Which was all accidental, because apparently, due to all the trouble they got into, and due to always having each other's back, the sage developed his own brand of protectiveness over the girl and vice versa. That ended with him being half in denial and half in acceptance of what he was feeling, despite knowing it was probably wrong. He doesn't act upon it though as their bond as Master and Student was what was most important. At the same time, Kiomi who is as dense as a rock had no idea about what exactly it is that she feels. But when she realizes what it is, she tries to avoid it at all cost, as being Master and Student was also more important to her. Every once in a while though, a little bit of their feelings slip through. Mostly when one of them is half dead. (And they get into so much trouble that at the end of a specific arc, one of them is either REALLY injured, or near death, and in one occasion actually died.) There are also times when it just slips on its own from either side, due to careless words, or perhaps impulsive actions that creates a bit of awkward situations.

Here is an example of when Kiomi gives in a little to her own feelings.

===

What am I doing?

She couldn't sleep. She ended up shifting for a while there, turning to look up at the stars that Jiraiya had been so keen on seeing. Everything was pitch black which made her, for a moment, appreciate the little specs of light that seemed to glisten in the vast distance of space. Pretty. However, beautiful as they may, they gave her no comfort. The moon that had so graciously lent them its light was now hiding behind the midnight clouds, shying away from her sight. I can't sleep. At this rate, there would be no rest for her for the entire night.

That was when she felt just a slight shift beside her. Curiously, she took her first glance of him after that short period of silence. A soft sigh passed through her lips. At least, one of them was getting some sleep after a long day of training and misunderstandings. Still, from the looks of how his face was contorting, his slumber didn't seem all too pleasant. I'll check just a little.

And so, she sat up, silently and cautiously moving close enough so that she ever so slightly hovered over him. He didn't look like he was having a good time at all. See, this is why bed was the better choice. The mental note was made. Maybe she should wake him up, just in case he was having a nightmare. In that moment wherein she wanted to call for him, no words came out. Instead, a free hand moved on its own in an effort to touch his face. But they stopped. Just inches away from his cheek. Kiomi remembered the way that he had caressed her own (when he seemed under a delusional trance), but she had no courage to do the same. Even when her mouth moved to speak, only soundless words came out. And even those, she couldn't even finish. Again, she bit her lip inwardly. She didn't have the right to say them. After all, the expression on his face from earlier...the one that enthralled her to the point where she couldn't think straight, wasn't even meant for her.

So instead, her hands retreated to a few strands of hair that was long enough for her to take. Gently, just pressed her lips against them before finally relenting, retreating back to her own spot. And apparently just in time, since a few moments after that, she felt him move. Heard him speak. She had to hold her breath for a moment. Again, pretend to sleep. Closed her eyes.

What...am I doing?

===

In this main verse (where Jiraiya survives through the 4th Shinobi War), we've gotten to a point where they've admitted to what they feel (above is a prelude to said revelation), BUT! More than the awkward lovers they end up as, what's most important first and foremost is their relationship as teacher and student. It’s always the main element, everything else is basically secondary. Their relationship whether it's platonic or romantic, has always been one of learning.

And as proof to that, here is a scenario wherein Kiomi and Jiraiya were having a small lecture on the workings of the heart-- affections vs. unconditional love. She, out of curiosity, blurted out the question, "Isn't it frustrating if you can't touch the person that you love...?". To which the answer came as such:

===

"Hold that thought." He replied as she spoke the last of her words, wanting to take the time to address the prior question which was awkwardly blurted out on her behalf earlier. "It's very frustrating, yes, but...if you can't touch a person's heart with sincere feelings first, then no amount of hugs, kisses, or anything else can fill the void inside of you. There were many things that kept the woman that I loved and I apart. War. Misunderstanding. My own personal faults, but I find that I would've given anything within reason, even not being allowed to touch her in ways that would've held significant meaning for us both, just to be accepted as someone that she loved and was genuinely in love with."

Indeed, he had harbored those feelings for someone else. The unrequited love of the century, in fact, but what was worse in his mind was to succumb to the despair of not being accepted, was giving up on the prospect of being loved or in love at all. This was the man who believed that a ninja's worth was measured in his determination not to give up on their mission. So come what may, this brief skirmish of feelings with Kiomi had strengthened his resolve to maintain that belief system all the more no matter what the outcome between them would be.

"The better question is, why are you alright with hiding so much from yourself?" A contrast sharper than the edge of the most menacing blade, the internal conflict that she was experiencing was the true focus of his next words. "In other words, you won't get anywhere in life if all you do is hide from what you feel for anything." There were no exceptions going to be made, because this was suddenly about far more than mere affection or literary prowess. It was the central issue of Kiomi's very being which needed addressing in its own due time. Jiraiya felt that in the moment, it was his duty to plant the seeds which might otherwise allow her to consider the best options about how to confront and move past so daunting a thing. And there, without ever needing to say a word, his argument was given it's apex example. It didn't matter what realizing the truth of that matter cost if she could manage to pull it off. No price would be too high to pay, even their sacred bond, if it meant that she could grow past the limitation of inhibition which had placed a virtual strangle hold on her heart and mind.

===

Obviously talking about Tsunade in the first part. She feels an irrational bout of jealousy over a person who didn't even choose him, and feels her own emotions to be ugly. It's definitely a different type of envy compared to when she's jealous of Sasuke being Orochimaru's choice for a vessel.

And Jiraiya here made a really good point. The more she hides from what she feels, the more she doesn't get anywhere, which is why in verses where he is dead, Kiomi is left with an overwhelming regret of never having the chance, let alone courage to admit to her feelings and confess. Because she knows that he loves Tsunade, she is prepared for any sort of rejection (and knows that it'll even probably legitimately make her cry all the tears she can cry). If she had just allowed herself that little bit of honesty, then she probably wouldn't be stuck in the mud, unable to move forward in the years to come.

Ultimately though, Jiraiya's happiness is what's important to her. Which is why after the war, Kiomi works closely with both Otogakure and Konoha in order to protect the place and people that her mentor loved and died fighting for.

At the end of it all, I believe that for these three verses, the finality of her relationship with him is one of absolute trust and loyalty. Whether or not her feelings are reciprocated, she has already accepted the fact that Jiraiya ignites a flame within her, not necessarily one brought about by romance, but in the trust that he puts in her. He never was the type to give answers directly. It wasnt a mind game, but Jiraiya's brand of teaching encourages a belief in one's self to find an answer that the student can believe in, something in which he too comes to have faith in.

Kashin Koji’s route comes in a separate post. 

[yangssunglasses]

Request fem/fem Sasuke and Sakura. It's take place in our world (not ninja world) and her and Sakura are best long time friends. One day in class Sasuke starts have sexy fantasy about her and Sakura getting naughty which shocks her but continues the fantasy anyway. Please make it in Sasuke's point of view only cuz most fem/fem fic are always only in Sakura's so it be great to read one where it's only Sasuke's pov.

Thanks for the prompt! It got away from me, but I hope you will like it!

I also used FemslashFeb2020 prompt: note.

Length: 2k+

Available on FFN

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Absolute Territory

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It was yet another boring lecture in Konoha Junior High. Uchiha Sasuke was sitting with a chin propped on her hand and let her mind wander as the teacher droned on and on about mitosis. She was usually a diligent student, but she didn’t care about biology even on a good day and this time she was completely unable to focus on the lesson.

Instead, for the hundredth time she read the note she’d found in her locker in the morning. It simply said: Please, come to the roof after classes, it’s very important, no signature, but she recognized the precise handwriting of her long-time friend and classmate Sakura.

Her gaze landed on the pink-haired girl placed two seats away from her diagonally and studiously taking notes (she had top marks in biology). Sasuke tried to figure out what Sakura wanted to talk about. It had to be pretty serious if it couldn’t be taken care of at lunch hour.

Involuntarily, her stare lingered on Sakura’s bare nape. After the incident with the bullies a few months back, the girl cut her hair short. It gave her a more mature, womanly look. Sasuke remembered her beaten up and bruised, but still so fierce and determined.

When she’d found Sakura alone and outnumbered under attack, she’d snapped. She’d brutally fought off the bullies, almost breaking one’s arm. Only Sakura’s warm, tight hug and soft plea had soothed her wrath enough to let the attackers go with their limbs intact.

While Sasuke reminisced about that incident, her piercing eyes were inadvertently drawn to the outline of Sakura’s bust in the fitted blouse of her school uniform. Sasuke bit her lip, remembering how it felt when Sakura pressed her whole body into her back. What would it be like, to embrace her again and smell the fresh scent of her hair?

In her imagination, that was just what happened. Sasuke was on the roof holding Sakura from behind. She buried her face into the juncture of Sakura’s shoulder, brushing her lips over the delicate skin of her nape. Then she cupped Sakura’s cheek and kissed her on those tempting lips, relishing in their taste.

The vividness of that vision startled her. She’d never given a single thought to romance before, but imagining herself with Sakura felt strangely appealing to the girl.

The real Sakura raised her hand to ask a question and Sasuke hungrily watched the sliver of bare skin on the girl’s stomach revealed when her shirt rode up with the movement. She fantasized about slipping her hands under that shirt and feeling the silkiness there. First she’d stroke Sakura’s middle before letting her hands wander up to the girl’s chest. Then, she’d palm the budding breasts, feel their weight and shape through the bra. Sasuke thought about finding Sakura’s nipples and tweaking them and stifled a moan.

She shifted in her seat, feeling hot under the collar and embarrassingly damp between her legs. In the back of her mind she was aware that entertaining such indecent thoughts about Sakura was so very wrong, but she didn’t care. She was too engrossed in the fantasy, too excited where it would lead her, to even consider stopping it.

Sasuke’s heavy dark gaze lazily moved over Sakura’s obliviously seductive form, starting from the top of her pink head. It lingered on her small cleavage, then went down, over the rounded hips, before resting on the strip of exposed skin between the hem of her short skirt and the thigh high socks. Sasuke imagined running her hands over those smooth, toned legs and stroking that forbidden area, then going under the skirt. She was certain Sakura’s thighs would feel like velvet and the girl would whimper under her touch.

“Please, Sasuke, more,” she’d beg, clutching at Sasuke’s arm and giving her that vulnerable, kittenish look with her big green eyes. And Sasuke would comply with a vicious delight, stroke that secret, forbidden place between Sakura’s thighs and drown her with kisses until the girl would come apart in her arms.

Then she’d teach Sakura where to touch her…

The bell rang, signing the end of the classes for the day and throwing Sasuke out of her fantasy. The girl hefted her schoolbag over her shoulder and walked hurriedly out of the classroom and straight to the nearest girls’ bathroom. She needed to wipe the stickiness from between her legs. After flushing the toilet, she left the stall and washed her hands, splashing cold water on her flaming cheeks.

Sasuke gave herself a hard look in the mirror. Stupid, she thought to herself angrily, regretting her lack of self-discipline. This should have never happened. She and Sakura could only ever be friends and fancying anything else was simply foolish in her circumstances. Sasuke inhaled deeply to center herself. Facing Sakura so soon after she’d had that fantasy about her would be difficult, but she would pull through. It was paramount not to betray any of her real feelings.

When she felt sufficiently cooled and in control of her faculties, she came out of the bathroom and headed to the roof. Sakura was already waiting for her, wind playing with the loose pink strands of hair. She gave a wan smile at the sight of Sasuke’s arrival and Sasuke felt a pang of worry. Something was wrong with Sakura. Were the bullies bothering her again? She’d tear them to shreds if that was the case.

“Hi,” Sakura began shyly, hands clasped behind her back. “Thanks for coming.”

Sasuke nodded. “What is this about?” she asked impatiently.

Sakura took in a deep breath. “I know… what you think of doing,” she said.

Sasuke felt a flash of panic and shame. How did she know about those dirty thoughts? What gave her away?

Was Sakura going to call her a pervert and push her away in disgust?

But Sasuke allowed none of her inner turmoil to show. “What are you talking about?” she asked smoothly, as if she didn’t have a single care in the world.

Sakura clenched her fists and gave her a serious look. “Don’t pretend nothing’s wrong. I’m not stupid. I know you’re planning to transfer to Oto Academy next term. I just can’t understand why.”

Sasuke froze. “How do you know?”

Oto Academy was an elite private boarding school, offering individualized courses and allowing students to progress at their own pace. It was very different from the public education system and highly focused on each student’s needs. They had a prestigious renown for producing exceptional alumni. The principal himself had offered Sasuke a place there.

“I overheard you talking with Kabuto-senpai. And there were other signs. It’s like you’re pulling away from everyone. You even stopped fighting with Naruto!” Sakura looked down. “You’ve been so silent lately too, since that man had attacked you… Why don’t you ever talk to me? I thought we were friends…” she asked with a sad frown that threatened to undo all of Sasuke’s hard work to put distance between them.

Sasuke purposefully turned away, unable to bear the way Sakura looked at her, and glared down at the school grounds. Her dark hair fluttered on the wind and she wrapped her arms around herself. “It’s none of your business, Sakura. This is something I need to do if I want to succeed in my goal. Our paths just diverge too much,” she said coldly.

Sakura shook her head.

“I don’t believe that, Sasuke! You don’t need to leave Konoha and all your friends to do any of that. Going to Oto will only make you alone and unhappy and you know it! So, please stay!” she begged.

Sasuke’s heart clenched painfully and she squeezed her hands so hard that her nails bit into the skin. Then she looked over her shoulder at Sakura. “You’re really very annoying,” she said with a cruel smirk. “I’m not like any of you. What do you even know about loneliness?”

Sakura averted her eyes to the ground. “It’s true I’ve never lost anyone close to me, I don’t know the pain of loneliness like you do… but,” she raised her blazing gaze to meet Sasuke’s stony look, “to me, if you left, it would feel the same as if I were all alone,” she passionately declared.

Something like hope lit up inside Sasuke, but she was too afraid to trust it.  She smothered the feeling the best she could.

“This doesn’t change anything. I’ve already put in all the paperwork,” she informed her shortly.

“Then…! Then I’ll transfer to Oto too! I won’t let you go there alone!” Sakura said desperately.

Sasuke shook her head in exasperation. “That’s impossible and you know it. Your parents don’t have that kind of money to pay for tuition there.”

“I’ll get the money! Somehow! I-I’ll get a job!” Sakura came up with more ridiculous ideas. She was thirteen, no one could legally hire her.

“Stop that.” Sasuke’s command rang out sharply. Sakura flinched at it, so she softened her tone before continuing. “You have other friends, Ino, Naruto. You will be fine without me. You’ll forget me soon enough,” she said confidently, even though the whole idea was painful to her. But it would be for the best for Sakura. Let her move on with her life and be happy. Being around Sasuke would only hurt her in the end…

“No! How could you say that?!” Sakura cried out in protest, taking a step closer, hands folded in front  of her chest. “I would never, ever forget you… because to me, you’re not like my other friends. Sasuke, I…” She hesitated, then plunged forward. “I love you so much, I can’t stand it! Please stay here with me. I promise I will make every day fun. I will do anything to make you happy. Please, please don’t go…” she begged with tears in her eyes.

Sasuke felt as if lightning struck her. She forgot how to move, how to speak. Everything around her disappeared and there was only Sakura standing before her, her words echoing endlessly in Sasuke’s ears. Confessing the existence of what she’d only dreamed about having…

“You… love me?”

“Yes.” She confirmed without hesitation.

In that moment, Sasuke understood that she was at the crossroads. She had to choose, and it was a bitter choice, made even harder by Sakura’s confession. Ambition or love? She closed her eyes, struggling with herself, then made her decision.

“Nothing will ever come out of this,” she said evenly.

Sakura released a shaky exhale, hanging down her head. “I… I knew it… It’s stupid, we’re both girls, you don’t like me like that… I’m so stupid…“ she said brokenly, tears dripping down her face. Her body shook with silent sobs.

Sasuke had a sensation akin to getting stabbed in the gut. Sakura’s misery was unacceptable by itself, but causing it—unforgivable. The urge to correct her was too strong. “That’s not what I meant,” Sasuke said without thinking.

Sakura whipped her head up, her puffy, green eyes glistening with tears pinned her with a hopeful look.

“I’m going to Oto,” Sasuke simply said in explanation. I’m sorry I can’t accept your feelings, no matter how much I’d like to…

Sakura looked at her in shock when she worked it out. At least she stopped crying. “Then-”

“No.” Sasuke didn’t let her speak. She was so close to breaking that she needed to get out of there. Sakura was more dangerous to her resolve than she’d thought. “I’m going home,” she abruptly said and turned to the exit.

“Wait!”

Despite herself, Sasuke stopped. Sakura rushed over and gave her a tight hug, surprising her. Sasuke remained rigid in her grasp, fighting hard against the urge to lean into it.

Sakura nuzzled into her neck softly. “When are you leaving?” she murmured, a warm puff of her breath on Sasuke’s skin causing the girl to shiver. Sasuke’s heart was thudding in a staccato and she swallowed.

“Two weeks,” she replied crisply.

“So soon…” Sakura muttered. “Then let me at least make these the best two weeks of your life. Please, Sasuke,” she requested, looking up at her.

Sasuke clenched her jaw tightly, her will weakening. She couldn’t withstand that pleading gaze for long as it pierced through her defenses. The sheer tenderness in it was staggering. Did Sakura know of the power she held over her? How easily she could slip under the barbed wire and spikes and touch Sasuke’s battered heart?

“Please,” Sakura asked again, green eyes darker from emotion, a slight tremble to her pink lips drawing Sasuke’s attention. For a moment, the temptation to just give in was overwhelming and Sasuke found herself hurtling towards the edge of a precipice. Let Sakura make good on her promises, take what is given, enjoy herself and forget about tomorrow…

Then memories of Itachi appeared in her mind—Itachi standing over their butchered parents with a bloodied knife, Itachi kicking Naruto’s head into a wall, Itachi choking her, his other hand palming her thighs under the skirt, his terrifying voice in her ear, You will never stop me, foolish little sister, the helplessness, the rage he’d made her feel… Sasuke’s thoughts came to a screeching halt.

Her clarity returned abruptly and with a furious burst of energy, she tore herself away from Sakura’s hold. She rubbed at her arms as if to get rid of any remnants of the comforting touch that almost caused her to give in to her selfish desires. Sasuke cursed her own weakness. She shouldn’t have underestimated Sakura. She wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“Leave me alone,” Sasuke spat out and Sakura, who was reaching out to her again, stilled under her cold, sharp gaze. “I don’t want your pity. If you’re any smart, you will stay away from me,” she added viciously.

Sasuke could see the exact moment her callous words impacted with Sakura, cutting the girl to the bone. Shock, disbelief and sorrow flashed across her face and her expression crumbled with the deep, gut-wrenching heartbreak.

“Sasuke, why…” she whispered in a painful moan, tears flowing down her cheeks.

Sasuke turned away, feeling sick to her stomach, unable to watch anymore of what she’d wrought on the girl she cared for. She stormed off the roof, Sakura’s soft sobs chasing after her as she hurtled down the staircase.

This is for the best. She’ll get over it and she’ll be fine, Sasuke repeated to herself over and over as her own heart clenched in remorse. She just didn’t know if she could ever forgive herself for hurting Sakura. But, in the long run, she believed she was saving her from an even greater suffering.

In her own experience, you can’t mourn what you’ve never had.