#having a lot of feelings rn
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thinking about fedal retirement to jim croce time in a bottle especially after that headline "nadal on rejoining with federer: we decided to be together"
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friendly reminder that you are allowed to be both happy that Buck is officially bi and angry that they’re not making Buddie canon. those two things can coexist. by being angered you are not dismissing the importance of his sexuality storyline. you’re allowed to be angry, you’re allowed to be sad, and you’re allowed to be upset with the writers. you’re also allowed to be happy because of the representation. AND you’re allowed to feel like it’s a cop-out and be disappointed in the representation. am i happy Buck is canonically bi? abso-fucking-lutely. is there a part of me that’s even more upset than when i thought we would never get bi buck confirmation? also yes.
your feelings are versatile and ABSOLUTELY valid. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
#911 spoilers#911 abc#911 on abc#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#having a lot of feelings rn#after reading oliver’s interview the other day i was worried this was going to happen#and now reading the new interviews it’s making me really upset#but mostly i’m just mad#and i think it’s fucked up that there are people saying that you SHOULDNT feel your feelings about this#like?#i A BI PERSON will feel however the fuck i want to and i hereby give everyone permission to#fuck anyone who says otherwise#it feels like a cop-out and you’re allowed to say it
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shujin trio!!!
#persona 5#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#ryuji sakamoto#ann takamaki#shujin trio#p5 prot#duke draws#havent used this blog in so long but everywhere else feels scary to post art to rn#i have a lot of persona doodles i havent posted anywhere cus im shy so they might go on here for the time being
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practicing self care (projecting my stims on my blorbos)
greyscale vers below the cut!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#writing these tags like. an hour before posting. it’s 1 am rn#i do that little kieran pokemon hip tap sometimes so bonnie gets to do it too#they’re a kid!! they have a lot of energy!!!!!#i realize these are the first proper drawings of isa and mira ive posted here#i’ve drawn them before but they’re from like. May. and i’ve improved since then#so i don’t. really feel like posting those#idk. maybe one day i’ll say fuck it and drop that doodle page
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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felt like styling a couple of girls with my skirt!! i had fun doing these ones
#i wanted to make more but i feel like... 2 outfits is good for rn!!! i don't have a lot of time These Days (gestures vaguely)#made them appropriate for the summer-fall cusp too ofc.#sergle art#artists on tumblr#illustration#fashion#sergle skirts#character design#fat fashion#plus size#body posi#it's always weird calling them My skirts bc that's not really correct. but. the flowers are indeed mine!!!!
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Coming back from thy break with an ookie spookie eye straining Narinder :)
color palette used:
#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#cotl the one who waits#cotl toww#cw eyestrain#cw bright colors#mewnie art#Had a lot of fun with this! Been having an artblock so it feels nice to actually make a finished colored piece#also yes I am AWARE i fckin FORGOR his cuffs on his hands but like. Those chains took so fckin long#and I had already rendered his entire hand ;w;#maybe he's not in the void rn and he's just wearing this collar and chain for fashion or for kinky reasons you dont know#I could have prob worked even more on those chains but the clothes are already lacking in detail and itd prob just make that worse
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kissed by a bullet
#it's 1904 john <3#maybe i'll tell people more about him in the future#and about 1904 javi too because they live in my head rent free and i have a lot of art with them#but for now i wanna keep them as my dearest secret for a bit<3 (btw hi lucas ily)#anyway#i love him#kissing him as we speak#barghestland#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#john marston#art#artists on tumblr#tw animal death#tw gore#tw blood#not much but just in case#it feels like im not out of artblock yet it's hard to draw rn:(((#but im trying !!!!!!!!#im trying ok !!
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i think people really do lack the understanding of just how much representation matters.
like, chappell roan. not only is she an out and proud LESBIAN, but i just saw a interview where she opens up about how she is also demisexual. that truly struck a chord with me personally, because i’ve been struggling with figuring myself out in those terms and just hearing someone talk about it, knowing i’m not alone in my feelings and that it’s okay, really does help.
representation MATTERS. DIVERSE representation matters.
#honestly this isn’t even the biggest example#like i could talk abt this topic for hours#the live action little mermaid for example#the whole streamer sketch thing that happened recently#just like so much.#i just wanted to talk abt this because it’s somethn i’ve (like i said) have been struggling with#also why i believe in being true to yourself and expressing that truth#cus you never know who needs to hear that#like by living your truth you may unexpectedly help someone else find theirs#and i think that’s beautiful#that’s a lot i’m sorry 😭😭#i’m feeling things™️ rn#chappell roan#representation matters#lgbtq community#lgbt#demisexual#lesbian#demiromantic#<< me (maybe. probably)#(still figuring it out)
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With this absolute unit I declared that my entire savings to pull Eternal Knight sebek is gone
#mod posting#i love birthday bloom cards#if i could i would have pulled everyone's#i pulled sebek bcs he has duo magic with trey & i use trey a lot#i pulled ortho bcs he has duo magic with sebek & i kinda use sebek a lot too#i pulled trey bcs his card is just beautiful#i don't use floyd a lot but bcs he has duo magic with ortho & has healing attribute i was like why not#i use ortho a lot#thankfully he came home in one 10 free pull#and then jade#i didn't plan to pull him i hardly use kalim to activate his duo magic...#but then i saw that one of his dialogue mentions trey saying happy birthday to him at the corridor#AND I SPENT FIVE 10 PULLS TO REEL HIM IN#WHICH IS THE LAST OF MY SAVINGS FOR ETERNAL KNIGHT SEBEK FHSHS#i feel like i saw a rerun for eternal knight sebek much after the first pulling event so...#maybe i'll have the chance to pull him after saving some more in the future??#i don't know#i wish he would come home in first 10 pulls bcs that's the only thing i have rn#WHY HIS EVENT JUST WON'T COME SOONER#I TRIED SO HARD TO CLUTCH ON MY DIA SAVINGS FOR SO LONG#BUT IT HAS BEEN SO HARD SOO HAARDD I TELL U SEBEKK#the only good boi in this entire unit is floyd#ths others are quite a nightmare to pull#trey and jade especially i believe#the halloween rerun was hard to passss#i love the outfitss
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getting gangbanged at a t4t breeding party would save me
#having a lot of t4t breeding party thoughts rn actually#idk if i should post specifics tho cus im still feeling embarrassed by that longer post from the other day#cus i dont think it was very good at all :(
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all the rise boys get done dirty on characterization by fandom in different ways i think. (not ALL the time every fanwork etc etc these are just like, trends i tend to notice?) every fandom suffers from losing character nuance.
- leo i’ve talked about plenty on this blog, how some of his canon traits (genuine belief in his skill and cockiness, capacity for joy, his manipulativeness whether for good or ill) seem to get watered down or wiped off the board and supplemented with generic sad boy. his struggles with purpose and identity and not wanting to fail somehow morph into “he hates and completely holds no value for himself”
- donnie’s canon personality gets blurred out and largely replaced with whatever list of Neurodivergent Traits. and i think there’s such a fine line to walk between exploring a character that’s been word of god confirmed as on the spectrum and overwriting what’s canonically there. it’s a hard needle to thread. it also feels like a lot of his canon emotiveness gets left off the table for some reason. bc he does have his moments of flat/deadpan delivery, but a lot of the time he’s honestly very emotive. he has the passion of a theatre kid and the vindictiveness of... also a theatre kid. and the mind of a scientist.
- raph loses so much of his rowdy teen boy energy it’s kind of wild? like interpretations sand off that he’s also impulsive and can be reckless and dumb and LOVES fighting and roughhousing and isn’t the most eloquent person. suddenly there’s this pitch perfect soft boy big bro who would never hurt a fly and always says the exact right supportive thing and singlehandedly raised his 3 brothers (which simultaneously sands off all the nuance of splinter’s issues emotionally connecting with his sons and how that affected all of them). and like i LOVE raph, he’s so full of love and care and anxiety, he clearly has learned to put a lot of work into being aware of his strength and size. but there’s a difference you know?
- mikey is like. where raph gets overparentified by fanon, mikey gets over “family therapist”-ed IMO. the impulsiveness, the goofiness, the powerful emotions including a VERY powerful temper, the flat-out dumb teen boy choices... they get ignored. suddenly there’s this only very sweet and earnest boy who has read a hundred psychology books and runs group family therapy weekly or something. he is crying in his room bc leo and raph are arguing about something. which is so. he IS very sweet and can be very earnest and is full of love! he HAS come in with his opinions and unsolicited advice a couple of times and life coached for the greater good. but there’s a difference between what he does in canon and the role he gets in fanon.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#idk this is not a very eloquent rundown its very hard to explain exactly my vibe#ig the long story short is i feel like a lot of their most interesting and fun qualities get left in the dust#mikey as family therapist is getting under my skin the most rn i think its just so.#for as much as it seems like his brothers try to shelter him (esp raph with his overprotectiveness)..... i just dont see it#i dont see his brothers and definitely not his dad putting their issues on him like that...#him dragging donnie into that one dr feelings session and dragging draxum into a new moral alignment were different#than 'yeah everyone tells mikey their stuff and he has to do the labor of helping with it'#like it just doesnt vibe for me#i think he is very emotionally OPEN on all levels compared to his family#i think he is more likely to share when HE struggles#i dont think raph or leo is sitting with him at 3am like 'it all started when i was 4 and accidentally broke a plate' or what have you idk#it's all so ymmv i do just scroll past stuff i dont vibe with i dont drop hate on it i just#idk dudes its so hard to see the appeal in some of the choices made
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idk who needs to hear this rn but i know i did when i was first starting out on this blog so here it is: the experience of engaging with fandom becomes exponentially more enjoyable once you realise that nothing you post or think about really relates to dnp as human beings in their real lives. the awareness of our parasociality is actually so critical to the enjoyment of *gestures broadly to the tumblr phandom ecosystem* this, at least imo. because once i understood that this idea of dan and phil that i interact with, analyse, discuss and make jokes about is, in fact, just an IDEA, a semi-fictional semi-embellished PRODUCT that they have both put out into the public as professional comedians and personalities - i became free to completely enjoy it for what it is. a thing that's MEANT to be analysed, and joked about, and obsessed over, the same way someone can obsess over a book character that's been intentionally crafted for a specific purpose and nobody gives a damn about it.
the difference lies in how we actually CAN'T detrimentally affect a book character by shoving our obsession in their face, whereas in fandoms of real life people that is an actual danger. and that's where the awareness of our parasociality with dnp comes in again, and where we have to draw the line ourselves.
but on YOUR side of the line, ie where dnp won't venture, where you're not harming anyone? you can have fun. and it's okay
#again just my opinion#but this is something i personally needed to hear when i started out#and is maybe also pertinent to all the discourse happening on twt rn? idk enough about that tho#as usual if you have a diff opinion etc i am all ears <3#and i know dnp do genuinely care about us and share a lot of themselves with us. but i feel like keeping yourself aware of -#- the ELEMENT of fictionalisation that they have to put themselves through to have a properly healthy relationship with their followers#is good and makes the whole thing better for you! and all of us. just imo#dan and phil#dnp#phan#rambles
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Now, even more than ever, let's remember that stories are important. Yes, even yours. Yes, stories with grand themes and inspiring plots that inspire you to take action and keep going, but cozy, fluffy stories that feel like warm hugs. Even if the only person they inspire/help/comfort is you.
Stories inspire. They comfort. They move. Stories are our way of reaching out to others, asking if anyone else feels that way, letting us know that we aren't alone. Now, more than ever, you story matters. Whether it's a fluffy one-shot fanfic of an extremely niche media, or an epic saga with Something to say, it matters. Art is a form of action, a form of resistance. So keep making it.
#nova rambles#i know we're all feeling a lot of things rn#i watched a comfort movie last night and have been thinking about media about impossible odds#and those things help#that is the point#what we're doing here matters
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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