#hate the teacher in one of my classes
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anyway okay my day was complete shit so if yall sent me silly little asks about whatever i would not be mad
#hate the teacher in one of my classes#failed a quiz#<- quiz wasnt even fair but whatever.#cried at lunch finally bc my friend asking me if i was okay was my BREAKING POINT and i already had another quiz after that .#(i never cry in front of ppl so that was. fun.)#i was more mad than sad honestly but my brain was so burnt out that it came out in tears yayyy 🥴#anyway#bee.txt
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Jace was totally a Hudol kid right?
He failed wizardry 101 three years in a row, he probably hooked up with your crush, he was voted most likely to be arrested on account of all the pranks he pulled around campus. He smokes cigarettes in the parking lot. He’s at the top of his sorcery classes and his name is on everyone’s lips, he’s Jace Stardiamond and if you don’t know him, then maybe you’re just not cool enough to.
By the time he’s a junior, everyone has an idea of who he is but when he’s alone with himself, he has a hard time deciding if he knows who he is. Every moment of his life he’s been told the whos, whats and whys and he feels trapped inside of the labels and high standards so he takes comfort in the unknown.
For once he finally feels in tune with his magic. He doesn’t need to know where it comes from when it comes to him as easy as breathing. He still has such a keen eye for it, though. He approaches sorcery with such a precision and resolve that leaves people in awe of him, the attention doesn’t hurt either.
He always admired that quality in the wizards surrounding him, there’s no reason he can’t borrow that kind of self discipline for himself if it leads to better self discovery.
Still, he can’t take the way his old wizardry textbooks mock him from where they live on his bookshelf. He finds a home for them far at the top of his closet and doesn’t look back.
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Is2g the way he told Adaine he couldn’t take a level of wizard, “I tried.” And then him saying he always thought wizards were a bit stinky has haunted me since the finale aired. That man has a deep vendetta associated with wizardry, you just know it. That shit haunts him.
#ngl I feel like Jace’s mom was probably a high elf and wanted her kids to go to the most prestigious school in Elmville but his dad was a#human adventurer that just wanted his sons to be happy#they get divorced by the time Jace is 15 and he chooses to stay with his dad bc the thought of going to live in fallinel with his mom makes#him itch#fallinel reminds him of Hudol and he doesn’t /love/ Hudol#his brother does though and his brother is definitely the good boy pragmatist wizard of the family#Jace’s dad tells him if he doesn’t wanna go to Hudol anymore he can transfer to aguefort and he does it. he doesn’t even attempt to try#wizard classes and it’s way too late to find an adventuring party#that final year is kinda a blur but it was fun.#he spent most of his time at parties and hooking up with more people than he could count#also in my head Jace has a brother and then when he’s like starting college his mom remarries and has his sister with his stepdad that he#haaaates#he hates visiting fallinel but he wants to get to know his sister#his dad also dies on an adventure during his college years#he comes back to an empty house because his brother just couldn’t#it’s the first time he’s really left to be the responsible one and he’s not bad at it but he’s so out of depths#he sells the house and starts couch surfing until he sees that Aguefort is hiring for a sorcerer teacher so he takes it#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#fhjy#jace stardiamond
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I decided to go through my old warm-up notebooks from my honours english class and in one of the warm-up prompts, I said I wanted my superpower to be "controlling the effects of [my] puberty," and I'm glad to say that I've gotten that superpower. It took a very long time, but that's a superpower I can check off my list
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#ngl though i felt my very soul wince while reading some of them (including that)#in my old self's defense: i was incredibly dysphoric and had Many Unresolved Issues#i also wasn't really masking in that class and didn't know i should probably not be honest with my notebook#my teacher said that she'd only grade warm-ups we wanted graded and she'd only *potentially* read others 'for fun'#also i always didn't like the 'what superpower would YOU want?' question because. it just annoyed me to know it's impossible to have#(besides the puberty superpower lmao)#as much as i believe in being kind to your past self/selves that doesn't mean i'm not cringing about it 😭#just so long as you don't turn the cringe into self-hatred i suppose#you cannot hate yourself into being better♡♡#WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IN ONE OF THE WARM-UPS I WROTE ABOUT A LESBIAN ROBOT#NEVER MIND I'M DONE CRINGING#man i should make that into a proper short story like. what a concept
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#ruffled feathers#sometimes work is so fucking frustrating#like i had this one kid hit another kid and then when i told him off he just mocked me and then the entire class laughed#and like. there's nothing i can do. i can't send him out of the classroom bc i'm not allowed (there's nowhere to send him)#i can't call his parents bc i'm not allowed (and my japanese wouldn't be good enough to speak to them anyway)#i told him he couldn't join in the game and he just didn't care. spent the game throwing stuff at other kids + ruined it for everyone#then he shoved some crayons up his nose/in his ears and started running around#which is. y'know. REALLY FUCKING DANGEROUS so i can't just ignore it#when i spoke to the japanese teacher she was like 'ohh he has adhd' and i'm like ??? he assaults others. that's NOT bc of adhd#i don't work at a school i work at an eikaiwa. i'm the only staff member on location (no assistant no receptionist etc)#i have 11 kids in that class. most of them are 6-7 years old#and the japanese teacher just lets them do what they want most of the time so it's basically impossible to control them#i just. i fucking hate this classroom honestly. the kids are so disrespectful#i know it's not just me like everyone i've spoken to says it's a Problem Classroom#but also. it makes me feel like i'm a bad teacher bc i can't control the kids#it makes me feel like i should just quit my job bc obviously i'm bad at it#anyway i'm really not looking for advice here i'm just venting so please spare me the 'have you tried' messages#i've already asked my supervisor and senpais for advice and the general consensus is we need more staff#and also for the jt to not actually tolerate 7-year-olds behaving like 2-year-olds#delete later
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the entire conflict between nick and judy in zootopia is just a more poorly done version of the conflict between jeff and annie in intro to political science. yeah, i said it
#fun fact i actually can’t watch zootopia without cringing bc these two remind me of jeff and annie!#and i can’t unsee it!!#and because of the horrible copaganda but that’s a given#fuck disney#my teacher put on this movie in class and i couldn’t stop comparing the two#it grossed me out#NOT A SHIP POST#hate that i can’t post anything about jeff and annie without having to disclaim that#community#community nbc#anti jeffannie#anti j/a#not a fun fact actually kind of a cursed one
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some painting homework I had to do for class that I ended up actually really enjoying <33
both are acrylic gouache on bristol paper :)
#I’m still trying to figure out how tf to photograph my traditional art well so forgive me if it’s not perfect#I tried my best#I do like how you can see the paint texture when you zoom in :)) although my teacher will undoubtedly hate that part#anyways. usually I fucking despise every single assignment for this particular class#but this one I actually ended up finding really super fun and relaxing :)#I would honestly do like ten of them without complaint and just enjoy listening to my podcast or whatever while doing it. it’s so chill#literally just a color by number#my art#art#rhps#rocky horror picture show#rocky horror#he said we could pick any ref image we wanted so ofc I did one of my favorite movie stills ever :))
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I love love how Brennan chose to characterize porter where like. He's such an asshole. Such a fucking asshole of a guy and it really sucks to talk to him. And fig hates him so much just as she should. But despite that you can't discount him as some dope know-nothing cause he's got some INCREDIBLE wisdom and (for fig, not really for gorgug) is just a really good teacher. That really horrible experience of showing up to class with a burning hatred for the teacher for being here at all and then leaving knowing that you have just learned some incredibly valuable skills.
#s/o my eighth grade science teacher#she was such a fucking asshole. so incredibly strict. huge hardass. caused unnecessary levels of stress to hundreds of 13 year olds.#but holy shit did she know how to teach. the quality of my notes went through the roof in the course of that class. the following year i#was the top kid in my honors science class. her lesson on writing clear instructions will stick in my head til the day i die#I'm writing computer code now and i know for a fact that my eye for detail comes in part from her#hate that old ghoul. she retired a year after i left and good fucking riddance. unfortunately one of the best teachers in my life#dimension 20#fantasy high
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FUCK YOU MR [REDACTED]
#tbh annoyed bc i got a worse score in world w a better teacher#but also i studied way more for apush and ig it paid off#bc my teacher did NOT teach that well#we did one leq and no#dbqs and also i hated that class so much and ummmm i kinda skipped it a lot
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i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.
#two fairly recent examples jump to mind#last year my class did a secret santa#the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips#i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust#and adult who Gets It#and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas#recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now#so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them#so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift#bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff#and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa#a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons#i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL#so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room#and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship#but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment#idk#i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery#vent
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oh my fucking god i have to start running for pe next week too its actually so fucking over for me
#mono’s stuff#i have cried so much in that class with the teacher i actually somewhat liked and now its one i fucking hate ohhh my god i’m so fucked
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He’s going to burger jail for his crimes. He knows what he did.
#yes I also handed this in graphic design 😭😭#this teacher prob hates what I do but I express my art in stupid ways#(she loves me bc I actually work in class lol)#Martha Jones im defending u girll#putting him in burger jail#his atrocious crimes#im saving humanity#look how dark and gloomy that jail is#perfect place for ten#don’t ask me why this edit looks like shit 😭😭#I had 5min left of class and I had to do one last pic to hand in#I DID THIS QUICKKK#I’ll not do it again#doctor who#dr who#dw#the doctor#tenth doctor#10th doctor#david tennant
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cheerleaders 🤝 equestrians (but specifically horse girls): your sport not being taken seriously by other people and being treated like a joke
#deity dialogue#when I was in middle school my computer teacher was also a football coach and would have ‘banter’ with the cheer coach (who was also an#assistant teacher for my math class btw she was so sweet she helped me a lot in class and also made me a bow which was stolen from me :( )#about how ‘football was a real sport and cheerleading wasn’t’ LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING ME#jsut because cheerleaders look cute and are peppy and more often than not girls and women you don’t take anything they do seriously#do you understand the strength and agility and flexibility needed to be a cheerleader do you see the shit they’re doing and you have the#gall not to respect what they do as a sport??? i wasn’t a cheerleader but a few of my friends were and I respect them so much that shit must#have taken so much of everything#obvs I’m not covering the full scale of what it takes to be a cheerleader cause again I wasn’t one but like I’m so pissed whenever people#have the audacity to act like it’s not a serious sport and I’m mad at the same for equestrians as well.#Also generally I hate people who think cheerleaders are inherently awful and bitches like y’all shouldn’t generalize just because some#people in a group are mean or popularly portrayed as mean doesn’t mean it’s true my friends from school were sweet to literally everyone so#can it. this isn’t me like dismissing anyone who’s been bullied by anyone but don’t like assume everyone is terrible thanks bye#it’s the misogyny and we all know it :/ it affects men in the sports as well because if you’re a male cheerleader you’re treated badly and#it’s the misogyny and we all know it
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Yeah yeah, college is great and all, but what do you mean you dont know what a protaganist or an antagonist is? What do you mean you dont know what a hyperbole or simile is???
#I HATE THIS CLASS#As someone who excelled in all my english classes#the slow pace#and slower classmates#INFURIATES me#UR IN COLLEGE. YOUR 20/30/40 YEARS OLD#what do you MEAN you cant spot a metaphor??#coming from students who are talking about psychology and another economics and such#i think one of them is a screenwriter or smth???#why are we spending almost an hour#on the story 'the fox and the grapes?'#i can read that to my brother in less than five minutes and he'd understand it the first time#i feel my teacher must've taught highschool or elementary or something#shes really nice but so SLOW#and i feel like if i speak out and answer and elaborate like i do#then people will just think im being smart and snotty...):#cicitalks#general#my stuff#thoughts
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something that had always been really frustrating for me when i was still in math classes in school was trying to watch the teacher actually work the problem out on the board and still not understanding wtf was happening. for some context, i heavily suspect that i have some form of dyscalculia because math and numbers literally do not compute properly in my brain. it'd be too long to explain the full extent of my possible dyscalculia here but math literally does the mental equivalent of maxing out the CPU power and memory of a computer to the point where it freezes and lags to my brain.
math class was always stressful for me because no matter what i did and how much progress i made, there was always a lack of understanding i had when it came to trying to work any math problem out long term and remembering anything. it felt like there was always something i was missing, so when the time came for the teacher to explain and go through a math problem step-by-step on the whiteboard, i made sure i paid as much attention to it as humanly possible as child-to-teenager me could muster and even then i still did not understand how the fuck they solved it, all because of one thing: the teacher pulling a random number completely out of their ass that happened to be the key to solving the problem.
like. i don't think i can illustrate how frustrating and isolating this was to experience with words alone. here i was, paying as much attention as i physically could, trying my damned hardest to memorise each individual step and calculation in order to understand how to get from point A to point B. everything made perfect sense up until the teacher suddenly stops for a second and writes a seemingly completely unrelated number there with no context as to why it's there in the first place, and then, in that singular moment, everything immediately comes crumbling down and i'm left completely confused. and somehow, everyone else around me perfectly understands it except me. like. imagine sitting there, giving the teacher all the attention you possibly could, literally watching and studying their hand movements just to understand every single step, only to be even more confused than your classmates, who you're pretty sure were half-asleep during the explanation, who also say they understand how the teacher came to that conclusion. what. the actual fuck.
when i try to explain how infinitely confusing and irritating this was for me, i'm reminded of a quote from that video Patricia Taxxon made about DHMIS: "The rug is pulled again ... There was never any hope of following the thread, understanding is impossible.". even when i was literally trying my best to possibly follow anything that was happening, the rug still gets pulled out from under my feet and i'm sent all the way back to square one of not understanding a single thing and being confused again. all because the teacher didn't explicitly explain how they got that random number that was apparently singlehandedly necessary for solving the equation and where they got it from, apart from that place being from literally fucking nowhere.
it's really no wonder that i eventually stopped giving a shit about paying attention in math class, because even when i was, it was still daunting and incomprehensible as always. why bother trying anymore when trying still gets you nowhere? trying to ask the teacher where they got that number from was an impossible to understand task as well, as their either snapped back with a "well you should have been paying attention" (even though i WAS but whatever) or they do explain that they added the first two numbers from the equation together or something, but now i'm wondering why they didn't just explain that in the first place like they did with everything else instead of seemingly just assuming everyone would know to do that.
by the way, if i had to give an estimate, my math ability is probably still at like. a 5th grader's level at best. so uh. yeah it's not good. still, it is kinda funny to me though, not only because i do find a bit of humour in the situation, but also because some people are often so quick to judge someone's intelligence purely based on their mathematical abilities alone. like. the idea of someone calling me dumb for still needing to do addition with my fingers despite the fact that my reading and language levels are considered above average is really funny to me lmaooo
#dyscalculia#math anxiety#i was NOT having fun in math class when i was still in school loollll#to this day i still don't know all my times tables#i just know the essential ones like my 2s 5s and 10s#the others i only really partially remember but i still can't actually do beyond multiples of 12#like i partially know what they are but i can't actually DO them in my head without needing to sit there for a minute or two#i can't do quick maths. i just can't do that. there are too many numbers to keep track of and count at once to do quickly.#like i can't just conjure up a number like a fucken genie like other people seem to do. i need to like. actually count first#i hate quick maths games so much dude. it's so stressful. i physically cannot keep up with it and it's really frustrating and unfun#it's the same when people tell me to do an equation really quickly. like first of all fuck you#and second of all my brain WILL short circuit#anyway yeah this is a vent#making this not rebloggable for that reason..... sorry fellas#i'm still hoping other people with dyscalculia may find this relatable or cathartic#god how that particia taxxon quote strikes my very soul so so much.....#the entire video is really good but that quote specifically. holy shit#understanding is impossible. that is how i feel. that perfectly explains how i feel about math. understanding is impossible. wow.#i feel like data repeating ''i am not less perfect than lore'' to himself about that quote. understanding is impossible.#that is how i have felt about math for such a long fucking time oh my god#understanding anything to do with math and numbers feels impossibly incomprehensible for me.#basic concepts make sense. i understand how the four basic operations work. i just can't understand much else from that.#too many numbers overflow my brain#it takes literal actual power to be able to do one sheet of equations for me#i might not even finish it just because it's so difficult and uninteresting for me#i'm rambling again auahgh. the basic point of this post is that i don't understand math and math teachers don't understand how to make-#-any basic fucking sense. apparently. anyway yeah official steakout dyscalculia coming out post (i probably have it)#(i'm not diagnosed yet but i'm 80% sure i have it)#(the other 20% is me gaslighting myself) (augh)
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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off
that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it
#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months#it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy#and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120#which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income#as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work#it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time#debt is a crazy kind of thing#and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned#when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class#i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway#which will also help with the deferred payments#see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this#tales from diana#idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years#and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought#as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall#and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day#it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food#keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!
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today in class I had to be near one of my friends, so I took my desk near to his and the 2 kids in front of him started saying “oooooh A, did your temperature rise?” “Did it became hard?” (Not like that but referring to it). When I told it to the teacher (that they were saying that bc it was making me uncomfortable)she talked to them and when they went back to their spots, they started saying “bro Cayy, it was just a joke to A, we were not talking to you” as if I wasn’t in front of them, could hear the whole conversation (my friend did not talk to them other than saying bro) and they were saying that bc I had to be near my friend. They didn’t even said sorry. They were trying to justify that, they even said “but we’re at that age” and? Those comments should be kept a secret and they shouldn’t be said at ANY AGE, not a teenager should say it, an adult shouldn’t say it, NO ONE SHOULD SAY THAT TYPE OF THINGS
#I’m glad I said it to the teacher#I’m really fed up with my classmates#And the other I found out that one that sat next to me one time my desk mate wasn’t he tried to touch my leg and go up?!!?#I would’ve left him sterile#Don’t care if they expel me or they scold me#He nearly touched my leg AND GO UP! And I probably would’ve been the bad one#If he or someone else I don’t want to dares to touch me at the slightest I will do a favor to the world by making them sterile#God I hate this class#i need a miracle#Help please.and I found out recently about the leg thing bc I don’t look at whatever they do#if they do something I won’t look#My friend (the one I’m talking about in this post) told me and I was UNDERSTANDABLY UPSET#I FUCKING DARE THEM TO TOUCH ME#ILL DO A FAVOUR TO THE WORLD#AND ILL MAKE THEM STERILE#FUCK MY CLASS AND CLASSMATES
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