#hate the teacher in one of my classes
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anyway okay my day was complete shit so if yall sent me silly little asks about whatever i would not be mad
#hate the teacher in one of my classes#failed a quiz#<- quiz wasnt even fair but whatever.#cried at lunch finally bc my friend asking me if i was okay was my BREAKING POINT and i already had another quiz after that .#(i never cry in front of ppl so that was. fun.)#i was more mad than sad honestly but my brain was so burnt out that it came out in tears yayyy 🥴#anyway#bee.txt
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i feel like dream in human aus is usually characterized as being more stoic and stern while hob is more easygoing, but i think it would be funny to have a university au where hob is the professor who's like "no work is deserving of 100%. find 27 more sources and do it again" while dream is just like "they put their dreams into it, hob 🥺 A+! A+! A+! A+!"
#hob: you got this date wrong in the paper. c-#dream: i like all the misspelled words. really adds personality to the story. A+#hob is the ideal teacher for students whove always gotten good grades easily and need someone to challenge them more#dream is the ideal professor for students who struggle with self confidence and need to feel more capable#hob should only teach 400 level senior classes. dream teaches Intro to Poetry 😂#one time they swap papers to grade and then hob's like 'dream why did you give all my students As' dream's like 'they tried their best 🥺'#hob's like THEYRE HISTORY MAJORS DOING THEIR DISSERTATION AND YOU LET ONE OF THEM SPELL HATE AS 'H8'#dream: why'd you give my students Bs :(. hob: one of them turned in a coffee stain as a poem? wth#dream: everything is poetry hob. it's abstract. oh my god you dont get it at all 🙄#dream's unconventional method does work tho. he has an uncanny ability to get even the most disengaged students to care SOMUCH about poetry
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I know I’ve talked about this before cause I basically blogged my way through it but there was no catalyst for greater growth for me as a teacher than me having to read my student surveys my second year and being so caught off guard by how cruel so many of them were that I had to leave my classroom and go sob in an empty one for 15 minutes but then when I came back in (and in the following days) when I just felt so absolutely wrecked and wretched and vulnerable and scared but I HAD to keep going that it dawned on me that it literally didn’t matter what they said about me I still had the power of authority, NOT because of my personality or charisma or anything I had heretofore believed gave me the authority, but because it was literally my job and because if I said we were going to read twelfth night aloud or diagram sentences or memorize poetry that was literally what happened and I just cannot explain the bedrock of confidence that gave me because the worst had happened, all my darkest fears came true, and it didn’t matter. They still needed to learn and I had what I needed to make them learn. The job remained unchanged. Changed me forever tbh.
#and looking back I realize now that they didn’t hate me#but honestly it wouldn’t matter if they did and still doesn’t#because I can do my job (if I’m doing it right) even if they hate me#literally changed me as a person#I wouldn’t re-live it because it was like being stabbed to death with a blade#it hurt so badly lol.#reading WORDS#a whole bunch of them about how you are failing as a teacher and a person#is my worst nightmare!!!!#I still don’t read student surveys and I never will (I swap with another teacher) (and we filter)#but it is something to survive it#Also! I know I was not as bad as the meanest comments#and there were lots of nice ones in the positive section#but I was objectively new. and I was figuring it out. and I was trying things and it didn’t all work#and kids sense that like blood in the water#and their own immaturity makes them incapable of compassion#but again it was just kind of the so-what of it all#the surveys aren’t tied to how my administrators perceived me#it was just a box they had to check#and life kept going#and so did teaching#though you know what it is so funny the timing coincided with us reading the Pemberley scene in one of my classes#and I had no energy and no emotional vulnerability I was just dead and lifeless#but for whatever reason a scattered handful of the kids got excited and they set the tone#HEALED me. a little bit.#pride and prejudice is just always like ‘and if not Pemberley is still good’#and you know WHAT#anyway thanks for listening
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Jace was totally a Hudol kid right?
He failed wizardry 101 three years in a row, he probably hooked up with your crush, he was voted most likely to be arrested on account of all the pranks he pulled around campus. He smokes cigarettes in the parking lot. He’s at the top of his sorcery classes and his name is on everyone’s lips, he’s Jace Stardiamond and if you don’t know him, then maybe you’re just not cool enough to.
By the time he’s a junior, everyone has an idea of who he is but when he’s alone with himself, he has a hard time deciding if he knows who he is. Every moment of his life he’s been told the whos, whats and whys and he feels trapped inside of the labels and high standards so he takes comfort in the unknown.
For once he finally feels in tune with his magic. He doesn’t need to know where it comes from when it comes to him as easy as breathing. He still has such a keen eye for it, though. He approaches sorcery with such a precision and resolve that leaves people in awe of him, the attention doesn’t hurt either.
He always admired that quality in the wizards surrounding him, there’s no reason he can’t borrow that kind of self discipline for himself if it leads to better self discovery.
Still, he can’t take the way his old wizardry textbooks mock him from where they live on his bookshelf. He finds a home for them far at the top of his closet and doesn’t look back.
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Is2g the way he told Adaine he couldn’t take a level of wizard, “I tried.” And then him saying he always thought wizards were a bit stinky has haunted me since the finale aired. That man has a deep vendetta associated with wizardry, you just know it. That shit haunts him.
#ngl I feel like Jace’s mom was probably a high elf and wanted her kids to go to the most prestigious school in Elmville but his dad was a#human adventurer that just wanted his sons to be happy#they get divorced by the time Jace is 15 and he chooses to stay with his dad bc the thought of going to live in fallinel with his mom makes#him itch#fallinel reminds him of Hudol and he doesn’t /love/ Hudol#his brother does though and his brother is definitely the good boy pragmatist wizard of the family#Jace’s dad tells him if he doesn’t wanna go to Hudol anymore he can transfer to aguefort and he does it. he doesn’t even attempt to try#wizard classes and it’s way too late to find an adventuring party#that final year is kinda a blur but it was fun.#he spent most of his time at parties and hooking up with more people than he could count#also in my head Jace has a brother and then when he’s like starting college his mom remarries and has his sister with his stepdad that he#haaaates#he hates visiting fallinel but he wants to get to know his sister#his dad also dies on an adventure during his college years#he comes back to an empty house because his brother just couldn’t#it’s the first time he’s really left to be the responsible one and he’s not bad at it but he’s so out of depths#he sells the house and starts couch surfing until he sees that Aguefort is hiring for a sorcerer teacher so he takes it#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#fhjy#jace stardiamond
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I decided to go through my old warm-up notebooks from my honours english class and in one of the warm-up prompts, I said I wanted my superpower to be "controlling the effects of [my] puberty," and I'm glad to say that I've gotten that superpower. It took a very long time, but that's a superpower I can check off my list
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#ngl though i felt my very soul wince while reading some of them (including that)#in my old self's defense: i was incredibly dysphoric and had Many Unresolved Issues#i also wasn't really masking in that class and didn't know i should probably not be honest with my notebook#my teacher said that she'd only grade warm-ups we wanted graded and she'd only *potentially* read others 'for fun'#also i always didn't like the 'what superpower would YOU want?' question because. it just annoyed me to know it's impossible to have#(besides the puberty superpower lmao)#as much as i believe in being kind to your past self/selves that doesn't mean i'm not cringing about it 😭#just so long as you don't turn the cringe into self-hatred i suppose#you cannot hate yourself into being better♡♡#WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED THAT IN ONE OF THE WARM-UPS I WROTE ABOUT A LESBIAN ROBOT#NEVER MIND I'M DONE CRINGING#man i should make that into a proper short story like. what a concept
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Fucked up how an adult can make a simple benign poor choice of words one time and give a child a complex forever
#at this one teacher#where are you now teacher#were you ever aware that ur choice gave me crippling self hate and shame for years to come#did you ever know it was even a poor choice of words and that it was bad? or did you never think o it again#like tell me#YOU NECER SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING#would you have???? did you ever want to?!? I’ll never know#i don’t even remember what u look like it ur name but I remember sitting at the beach at 11 years old thinking about how I was#was too dirty and evil to be a woman and that I had let all women down#that I was a monster#i remember my stupid ex friend couldn’t even be ducking nice to me one ducking time about it either#i don’t remember what the class was about but I remember looking at the other girls and feeling like an ogre who didn’t deserve to be in#their presence#i know this incident was not the root of these issues and probably just a catalyst but it sticks out as easy to remember for some reason#i know you were a psychology/PSHE teacher and would end up preaching mental health to us in a lecture many years later#i wanted to take psychology for my GCSEs because I was really interested (and good at it I think)#but you were the only teacher for it so I didn’t take it#i remember at parents evening my mum and I sat opposite you and we talked about how I wanted to do psychology#but I declined and refused to tell anyone why#it was because you were the teacher and I felt ashamed#you couldn’t have known but I kind of wish you’d asked me why I changed my mind or at least something#instead you just looked at me as if you knew#but said nothing. AS IF YOU AGREED#THAT I WAS BAD.#so that settled it#you made it clear to me you meant what you said#and there was no point in me trying to fix it#so I never took psychology#i think I could have been so good at it#do YOU
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We need a Total Drama character who is in marching band. Bro. Imagine mid challenge asking for a gush and go and everyone looks at them like they've lost their mind. They're really good at picking up heavy shit for long periods and running with it because they're a sousa/ bass drum/ tenor player and have experience(TM). They won't shut tf up about DCI (or some sort of in-universe equivalent) and everyone is sick of it. Gets really nerdy about any music-related challenges and this ultimately loses them the challenge because they got too technical. They keep yelling "SET!" when they want people to get ready. I fear this is so funny to me but it probably looks like gibberish. (This is loosely based on a friend from my college LMAOOOOOO)
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#my band teacher once wished I'd quit because he hated me (mandatory class) so all of this confuses me#ain't a gush and go that one gas station#total drama#total drama island#anonymous
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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the entire conflict between nick and judy in zootopia is just a more poorly done version of the conflict between jeff and annie in intro to political science. yeah, i said it
#fun fact i actually can’t watch zootopia without cringing bc these two remind me of jeff and annie!#and i can’t unsee it!!#and because of the horrible copaganda but that’s a given#fuck disney#my teacher put on this movie in class and i couldn’t stop comparing the two#it grossed me out#NOT A SHIP POST#hate that i can’t post anything about jeff and annie without having to disclaim that#community#community nbc#anti jeffannie#anti j/a#not a fun fact actually kind of a cursed one
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yeah no i can't let either of the guys know i can do yoga and i can even less let them help me stretch they CANNOT find out that i like the pain😭😭😭😭
#goddd the stretching pain is sooo nnnggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhghh#idk it feels a bit too good#hdgsaghdsahdghasghdasg#i remember how i needed to act like i hated it just bc everybody else seemed to do it lmao#ohhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo we're doing stretches oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo#i think i could still do a split now#without any warmups#i think#mmmm i probably still could hold my leg above my head too#well . just high up i suppose idk what you call that#i have very vivid memories of this one dance teacher who gave us a class just bc ours was sick#and she was one of those . Old School Teachers lmao#made us sit down and then reach for our toes#and then sat on our backs#some of the girls really cried too i think#'the more you struggle the longer i'm gonna sit here'#HELLOOOOOOOOOOO😭😭😭😭#man what a weird way to go about it#with KIDS#we were all like... idk twelve thirteen lmao#anyway i was the most okay with itasgdghasdghghdsa#felt so bad though#bc i had two things working with me there#the fact that i did like how it felt AND . spite#like oh??????????? you wanna play around old lady??????????? i'll sit here for as long as you turn to fucking dust alright#double anyway back to my original point#suguru and sae would be a bit too into this so . i am never uttering a word around themhsgadghsaghdhgas#mayor of loserville
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Hey so do you know where I could find this acting manifesto of yours?
I usually try and avoid publicly expressing my opinion on things like this but I recently saw some people commenting negatively on his acting again and I’m starting to doubt my own judgement.
I’ve truly never had a huge problem with his acting but I keep seeing people using really harsh words to describe his prior and current work. I genuinely think he’s doing a good job in THK but these comments sometimes make me think I’m missing something.
That conflicts with the fact I know at least three people he worked with on THK specifically had positive things to say about his acting too and I trust people who do this for a living to know what they’re talking about for the most part.
I guess I’m just looking for your post to have a more detailed perspective of the opposite viewpoint to “he’s a terrible actor” to help affirm some of my thinking so I’m more confident in my positive opinion of his acting.
Overall though I’m enjoying everyone in this show but for me I’m specifically enjoying the four mains the most. Kudos to them honestly.
(Disclaimer: Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but the harshness of some of the opinions took me off guard a little.)
fuck these people. they don't know shit.
(mind you. this manifesto was written based on his performance in just star in my mind and hidden agenda. his 2024 shows weren't even out at that point. in fact, thk hadn't even been publicly announced yet. you can see from the start there is talent in this boy if you actually know what to look out for)
bonus: i rant some more in the last reblog
#''i trust people who do this for a living to know what they're talking about'' <- yeah. exactly#i'm only semi-qualified bc i don't actually do this for a living#(yet. not yet‚ hopefully)#but i do have a diploma in acting#and i had two fantastic teachers who made a point of teaching us students how to analyze acting performances#on my last class with one of these teachers he actually told me i'd make a good director based on the feedback i'd give my peers in class#i'm not saying you need to trust my acting opinions and that they are the only correct™ ones (god no)#but my opinions likely have more legitimacy than those of the majority of fans (and haters)#anon you mind collecting some of the harsh things that are being said? i wanna know if they even come with receipts#asks#anon#airenyah no. 1 dunk defender#dunk natachai#adrm#yeah istg. if i keep hearing (about) people talking shit about dunk's acting#i may write a part two of this manifesto once thk is over and i'm done with my weekly style meta project#also!! sometimes he DOES mess up!! sometimes things don't go that smoothly!!#BUT SO WHAT#it's mostly individual instances#like his monologue in the thk ep8 crying scene#that was the first time in the entire series so far where i was like ''kid this is not your finest moment you can do better than this''#(the build up was wrong‚ he stayed on the same level and acted out mostly the obvious)#(it would have been more interesting if he hadn't gone into the monologue with a whiny voice from the first second on)#(the emotional arc would have been more interesting and the drop down to the crying would have been bigger and more effective)#anyway. he's ACING this role and my style metas are basically a love letter to his acting too#because i wouldn't be able to write 10k(+) words on style every week if the things weren't there in his performance#anyway fuck these people i think most of them have decided to hate dunk from the start or are parroting their friends' words#they'll just hate whatever he does on principle bc they don't actually care#and they don't care to look at his improvement either bc they just hate him on principle#anon don't let their words drag down your enjoyment of dunk's performance!! because i'm telling you there is SO MUCH JOY to be found!!!!!!
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😭😭😭😭
Gonna sleep now but its taken me 3 HOURS to do this
Btw these are my progress photos in order (I'm sorry they are so ugly)
There's something off about him but I'm not fixing it now
#jttw#journey to the west#sun wukong#monkey king#Im so sorry Wukong :(#He's so vibrantly ginger it's unreal#This is just his head#He has no body or stick#Tmr is a very stressful time for me so he may be a floating head for a while 💔#His lips are too light and dark at the same time#He doesn't really look like a monkey either#I will fix him in due time#Maybe ask my art teacher if its acceptable enough to be considered course work#She hates me#And everyone else tbh#She screamed at this guy for a solid 10 minutes in the middle of the class#Was t.e.r.r.i.f.y.i.n.g#Sorry been watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S#I'm at Ross' second divorce#It's one of those perfect background sound kind of shows#Specifically when all my focus is on the first thing I'm doing#Same with the office no clue what happened Seasons 2-7 (idk how many there are)#Atla too. I watched it full attention the first two times and now I crochet to it#f.r.i.e.n.d.s is so weird honestly#I really liked Emily's parents tho#As a British person I just wanna say they were great representation#They were clearly horrible people but in a funny way#I want a spin off show dedicated to young Pheobe cause she's my fav and her life is so interesting#Sad but interesting
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I keep trying to post shit I been drawing lately BUT I CANT. I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO. THE WORMS INSIDE MY HEAD DO NOT APPROVE OF THEM. I CANNOT FUCKING DRAW. PUT ME DOWN. I DONT FEEL THE SILLY IN ME.
#If I had the fucking time to draw at home my life would be sparkles and glitter#I feel like my skills are falling away from my grasp#Bc wdym I was fr cooking before I came back to school and now this junk happens#I’m probably just out of energy from everything that’s been going on in my school#And I think I said som in the tags of one of my latest posts about a new girl in class that’s funny n shi. Well she isn’t.#I’m starting to hate her bc she’s cringe and quirky as hell but not in an actually funny way it’s just annoying#And she’s always cutting me and other people off in irl convos and acting like the goofy main character#While also being so unbelievably stupid like we have to repeat things to her over and over again and it’s just. So much.#I feel bad for being an absolute hater but she’s genuinely becoming more and more insufferable and it’s just her second week here#Idk how my friends put up w her but I look at their faces and I can tell they’re done w her sometimes#It’s not that she’s a bad person she’s just. So cringe. In a bad way. Not in a “let people be cringe” cringe way. Just cringe.#Like I swear she’s an absolute ditz#Or whatever the word is in english#Why am I just hating on this random girl nobody on here knows irl mb but I had to get it out 😭#Ugghhhhhhggg I’m sorry for not posting anything too interesting chat#I know I technically do post quite often but I don’t feel as artistically satisfied with myself as I felt before#oh and I’m also going to try reaching out to some teachers I kinda trust ab how I feel mentally and shi#Maybe they’ll talk to me#i hope they do#I just don’t feel like myself anymore it’s like I’m two entirely different people online and irl#im so much more open online and irl I’m like an actual nobody. Not degradingly I’m seriously just not sociable 😭#But ummm yeah whatevz I guess#vent#vent post#personal rant
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some painting homework I had to do for class that I ended up actually really enjoying <33
both are acrylic gouache on bristol paper :)
#I’m still trying to figure out how tf to photograph my traditional art well so forgive me if it’s not perfect#I tried my best#I do like how you can see the paint texture when you zoom in :)) although my teacher will undoubtedly hate that part#anyways. usually I fucking despise every single assignment for this particular class#but this one I actually ended up finding really super fun and relaxing :)#I would honestly do like ten of them without complaint and just enjoy listening to my podcast or whatever while doing it. it’s so chill#literally just a color by number#my art#art#rhps#rocky horror picture show#rocky horror#he said we could pick any ref image we wanted so ofc I did one of my favorite movie stills ever :))
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i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.
#two fairly recent examples jump to mind#last year my class did a secret santa#the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips#i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust#and adult who Gets It#and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas#recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now#so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them#so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift#bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff#and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa#a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons#i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL#so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room#and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship#but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment#idk#i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery#vent
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i cant stand when someone thinks im unintelligent if you think im stupid i WILL kill myself and it will be your fault
#this is aimed at the substituate debate teacher and one other boy in the debate class#you are posh retards who missed my point and i fucking hate you
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