#harley vs bruce

[britcision]

Well, here we are! Tempting as “all three” is, the next chapter is currently 2/3 done so it’s coming soon enough 😁

And, for a fun bonus, I shall show you what else has been occupying most of my time of late! Down at the bottom of course. Our fourth WIP Wednesday for chapter 15 of Dead and Loving it!

———————

I’ll Take The Highway part iv

Harley let Batman precede her around the milkshake bar to the parking lot at the back, a quick glance confirming that they were alone.

For the best, really; anyone present might get entirely the wrong idea.

Taking a casual roll of the wrist for added momentum, Harley took a quick shot at the back of Batty’s knee, stepping up quickly beside him to use the return swing to catch him in the gut.

Caught off guard, he crumpled, landing on one knee and glaring up at her.

“Harley…” he growled, and her eyes narrowed.

She’d done this the nice way last night. He hadn’t listened, so now they were doing it his way.

“Batsy,” she shot back, cutting him off quick and direct. Tapped her bedazzled bat gently off her other hand. “We had us a talk already this week.”

No specific times; not in an unsecured location. He’d know anyway.

From his silence, he wasn’t quite ready to admit it. But he didn’t try to rise. Conflicted, then.

Like that was new.

Harley pressed the bat gently under his chin, tipping his head up to face her.

“And yet somehow, despite you assurin’ me you’d listened real close, a mister Jason Todd is out here tellin’ me you tried to ban him from hangin’ out with his new boyfriend?” She asked sugar-sweet, her expression all danger.

She could just about see the moment it sank into his head. Even with his actual eyes covered, that cowl was still plenty expressive.

Kinda freakishly expressive. Not ideal for the crime fighting to her mind, but what would she know? She much preferred committing the crimes.

He tried to argue, frown so deep he’d have wrinkles within the day.

“This has nothing to do with that, the Fenton boy is dangerous to his condition-”

Harley cut him off by poking the end of her bat almost into his mouth, her eyes narrowed. And sure, she was bein’ delicate with his head outta concern for that concussion, but there were limits.

“An’ what d’you think ya know about Jason’s condition that a half dead kid don’t?” She asked sceptically.

Batman hesitated. If he pushed the bat away, they’d have an actual fight on their hands. One he might let her win, if he just needed the tussle.

She’d never known a man so eager to have someone put him on his ass, and so incapable of ever lettin’ it actually happen. Well, other than Jason.

Musta run in the family.

Bruce sagged back, sat on the cracked asphalt of the parking lot.

“Constantine believes that Danny’s energy may strengthen something inside Jason. Something dangerous,” he explained, still in Batman’s rough growl.

She was gonna get him a vocoder. Just for shits and giggles.

Fuck, was that why Jason wore the whole helmet for Hoody? Now that she thought of it, there was a voice changer in there.

Two cranky little peas in matching muscly pods.

She dropped to sit cross legged on the ground across from him, bat laying in front of her. Talkin’ again, take two. Time to make it stick.

“Have you actually <<talked>> to Jason about this?” She asked sceptically.

The eye slits in the cowl narrowed. Harley was not impressed.

“Have you talked to him at all, since he an’ Danny have been hangin’ out?”

Bruce glared at her for a moment longer. Did not fold his arms or pout, but she could tell he wanted to.

“I spoke with him last night. He’s irrational, angry, unwilling to listen to reason…”

“He’s sick of ya tellin’ him you know what’s best and not listenin’ ta what’s wrong,” Harley corrected flatly.

Watched his shoulders sink just a little. As much as he could deflate in the suit. Even his growl lost most of its sandpaper.

“He said Danny was taking him to a doctor. More exposure to the realms could make things worse. Kill him, or give the pit another chance to take over. I can’t…” he cut himself off, voice tight and garbled around the forced gravel.

Harley watched him for a long moment.

He’d come out in the suit. It had to be for a reason.

She couldn’t ask the questions that would break him apart in the suit. Couldn’t guide him through the revelations and the grief. Not if there was somethin’ else he had ta be doing.

Another damn time then. She’d get ‘im here again.

“Batsy.” Her voice was gentler this time, and drew his face back to hers. She made sure to catch his eye. “He already died. Seems ta me somethin’ in there never really let him go.”

She didn’t know much about the Infinite Realms… or anything at all, really. All this magic and mayhem and ghosts was fun an’ all, and she always liked to play, but it wasn’t her wheelhouse.

Didn’t have ta be. She knew how to listen to the professionals.

Bruce had stiffened, the mask of Batman pulling back, and she cut him off with a raised hand.

“An’ you only have ta look at Danny ta know that whatever all that is? Jason ain’t the first. Won’t be the last. Someone’s gonna know what went wrong, and Jason believes they’re helping him. You need to believe Jason.”

“But he could be wrong.” It was barely more than a whisper. Low and grinding and completely devoid of Batman growl, like it’d been pulled right out of his soul.

Harley gave him a gentle bop on the head with her bat.

“Then we deal with that then. But all ya doin’ by bossin’ him around an’ not listenin’ is pissing him off and makin’ him more likely ta run right off to these Realms. He’s not the sweet kid followin’ ya shadow anymore, Batsy. He’s a man, and he gets to make choices. And mistakes.”

This sure as hell wasn’t one of ‘em, but Bruce had never been good at taking that on faith. He had to be shown, and he’d never stop waiting for the tables to turn.

Which was how he usually made things worse. But he did at least know that.

He still looked mutinous, scowling across at her, so she gave him a slightly harder bop on the shoulder.

“Batman, listen ta me. I know you mean well, but Danny makes him happy. All Jason’s seein’ right now is that he’s happy, an’ you wanna take it away.”

That hit harder than any of her blows, though she wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t known him so long. His whole body stiffened, sudden hesitation in even his breathing.

Harley stared him down through it, then nodded in satisfaction as his shoulders lowered, just a fraction.

“I can’t lose him again, Harley,” he whispered, barely audible even less than a foot away.

She gave him an even harder bop on the other shoulder.

“Then stop driving him away. You ain’t even said sorry for the other night yet an’ now you owe him another apology. There’s always that things might go wrong; he might get hit by a car crossing the street. The only sure thing is that if you keep treating him like this?”

She leaned forwards, grabbing his chin and forcing him to face her. To look at her, and see how serious she was.

He was reluctant to meet her eyes, but even under the white outs Harley knew when she had someone’s attention. Good. He probably knew what came next.

“You will lose him, Batsy. And it’ll be no one’s fault but your own.”

————-

My big project! Stupid wizard hat!

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Aight friends 6 hours to vote while it counts, what do we want for Dead and Loving It WIP Wednesday today? Waylon answering Danny’s question, or Harley kicking Bruce’s butt?

[uselssdishwasher]

My favourite Love/Hate Besties

This not them?

[bitsofbats]

DC vs. Vampires #12, 2023 James Tynion IV, Matthew Rosenberg, and Otto Schmidt

[shyjusticewarrior]

DC Comics Incorrect Quotes Pt 123

Alfred: This tea is nothing more than hot leaf juice!

Bruce: Alfred, that's what all tea is.

Alfred: How could a member of my own family say something so horrible?

Ivy, startling awake: Oh God!

Harley: What is it, pretty girl?

Ivy: I had this totally weird dream.

Selina, shoots up: Oh God!

Harley: What is it, other pretty girl?

Selina: Can we skip the dream time? Color me not interested.

Dick: This is like a complete nightmare.

Jason: Oh, I know, this must be so hard.

Jason: "Oh no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"

[moider-time]

Bruce has anxiety, yes.

It makes life harder, especially coupled with his depression and tendency to self-sabotage (Harley: don't forget the autism!). But school has never inspired more than his general level of anxiety, at least learning wise. People are a different ballpark.

So when his heart rate spikes after hearing about his upcoming Spanish oral exam, it's a bit of a shock. He had totally forgot it was coming up. The words of the teacher get more and more muffled as he gets more and more worked up.

He was never good at languages. His mind would get all the tenses and conjugation muddled up. The only language he was kinda good at speaking is Irish so as to honour his father. And even then, he's not exactly fluent and he's been doing it for years. Needless to say, he's royally fucked.

[lilho-ho-bo10]

Comic book cover by Yanick Paquette

[nunubug99]

Surprise!!

I guess I’m :

✨💖 Back on my bullshit 💖✨

Thinking about how Bruce and Clark land on the idea of swapping partners to spice things up. Although it was an of hand joke made under the influence, neither could let the idea go.

Clark bringing it up to you, another meta, and Bruce to Selina. Clark blushes and fumbles through the confession, but eventually he asks what you think. Shock hits you first, but then the more you think about it, the more appealing it becomes.

The 4 of you decide that this will be a way to explore yourself and your partner better. Almost like a couples retreat! Although you all are excited to learn new tips, tricks, and honest feedback that you wouldn’t otherwise get, you all agree it’s best to come up with rules and safe words ahead of time.

Let’s meet our cast shall we? :

Y/N :

The Jack of all trades. Making a name for herself along the eastern seaboard, Y/N is a black freelance artist who works as a museum curator. Her power allows her to have superhuman strength, speed and endurance, while her meta gene allows her to bend, absorb, and manipulate solar energy. Much like Clark, her power comes from the sun. Known as the Golden Gladiator, her heroics are only brought up in times of severe crisis. She often prefers her civilian life and the privileges it affords, as her secret identity has only been shared with those she can trust. Wild card : Likes when she and Clark can let go of being cautious and careful. Since they both have similar energy sources, their lovemaking can actually be a way to transfer solar radiation. Whether it’s in the middle of a battle or at home, this has proven to be extremely rewarding over the course of their relationship. Because the two of them are metas, they can focus on each other rather than their ✨destructive✨ actions. Extra Bonus : Y/N is curious to see how this experience will improve her skills and impact their relationship.

Note : Although this is not an OC, as I write Y/N I am imagining some of Teyonah Paris’s characteristics.

Kal / Clark :

Strong and Sensitive. This big boy is the definition of the “Country boy I love youuu!” Vine. Between his responsibilities as a reporter and as earths biggest hero, he always makes sure he has time for you. His biggest asset is his attention to your senses. Over the last few years of marriage, you’ve found that he can always tell how you’re feeling before the words even leave your mouth. His size comes as an added bonus, but his wild card is using it in his knack for overstimulation. As an attentive partner, he’ll make sure that all your needs are taken care of and catered to at the utmost importance. All he asks in return is that you try to keep up with him. :) King of Aftercare. Will talk you through it while showering you with his praise. Both physical touch and words of affirmation are his ways of showing his devotion. Extra bonus : He becomes a slight tease when you’re loopy. He’ll ask you to tell him what you want or how you want it; and when you can’t deliver, he’ll keep going until you can.

Bruce :

Calculating and Experienced. The opposite of the man from Smallville in almost every way. Where Clark likes to be soft as if he was working with clay, Bruce is more equipped to be as efficient and in control as possible like a botanist with a bonsai tree. King of edging. Won’t let you cum until he thinks you deserve it. Will make you beg in the best way. Has a knack for public play and shibari. All his travel and escapades has made him extremely aware of his likes and dislikes, so it’s very unlikely you’ll surprise him with any requests. He’s usually playing brat tamer so this will be a nice change of pace. Wild card : Is not afraid of his sexuality or pushing his limits. He shows his adoration in gifts rather than words. His past consistent lovers would usually be showered in parting gifts, for example Selina’s Tiara collection. You would be no exception to this rule and in his aftercare you will look up things you want. He will get annoyed if you speak up about prices; and as punishment he’ll make you add more to your cart. Extra bonus: Can and will make you cum without touching you. His biggest goal is to beat his personal record of withholding your release.

Selina :

Sensual and Clever. Selina will play her partners like a symphony. The woman is the perfect match for the man who plans for everything. This cat found her way to Gotham City after trying to find a fresh start when her first life was taken from her. Her objective is to leave them wanting her more than they ever thought possible. Wild card : She revels in the idea of being both a brat and a dominatrix. So being able to play with both roles has her more excited than anyone. Before getting down to business, she usually likes to set the mood for the evening. Whether it’s roleplay or even a drink, she finds that the most alluring part to her is the foreplay before the fun begins. Bonus : Although her hands are usually tied up, she’s actually very intentional about her nails during play. Because of this, she dabbles in both S&M as well as sensory play whenever she can.

(Taking inspiration from both the Harley Quinn series and the Catwoman movie featuring Halle Berry)

Although I mainly thought of this because of the endless possibilities that a chaotic superhuman wifeswap would entail; I do credit some of the inspiration from the “Listening Party” Series by @canumoveurseatup-no Aka Bexie. Literally one of the greatest writers of our time! I can only hope that one day I’m able to express my thoughts and ideas like they can 💖

Due to my schedule, Idk when I’m gonna actually post 😬 However I will be working on the first installment this week so we’ll see what happens 🤷🏾‍♀️

[bombusbombus]

Got tagged by @supermanstoddlerleash for this

rules: create a 24 hour poll with the names of your wips, and for whichever wins, write one sentence for each vote it gets

Most of my WIPs are either abandoned or in long term storage, I usually only work on one at a time (until it's done) so you too could ruin me by making me take out an old fic and rework it into something I'm more happy with writing.

Too sleepy to tag someone else. Peace

[cigamfossertsim]

more bruce, kate, and harley using yiddish slang to the point where all the other batfam and rogues gallery start using it too pls

[demented-trashcan]

Found this and I find it hilarious

[nosyrobin]

||DC X SONIC!READER HEADCANNONS||

Summary: HEY?! A wild blue hedgehog that’s as fast as flash?! WHAT THE—

Sonic!reader who accidentally travels into a comic universe, dc as a choice and accidentally standing in the justice league HQ. “Uhhh.. meow?” The hedgehog says with a shrug. Immediately the hedgehog is running as quick as the flash? Barry or Wally, whatever you think is the flash at the moment is trying to catch the damn hedgehog. But the hedgehog only thinks of this as a game! Smiling before feeling his legs get caught in a glowing yellow rope.

“State your business and name!” The lady with the lasso says holding the animal up. Sonic!reader spits the truth out by how he has accidentally traveled into this universe. The team didn’t want to believe it, but you were still in the lasso of truth. So you were telling the truth. The hedgehog is already friends with flash, who wants to see how fast the hedgehog can do. And seeing how they both can do speed off and stop time while staying slow, yeah they both are downing food together.

Hal who literally makes fun of the quick hedgehog, that was before Sonic!reader took the ring off his finger so quick, flash laughed with the others. Batman only smiled a little before it quickly gone away.

Superman is gushing over how small the hedgehog is. He can’t help but not take Sonic!reader seriously. Really he can’t take the male hedgehog seriously because of how small and how funny and how they are determined to help people. It’s adorable to the man of steel!

Wonder Woman who adore the small hedgehog as well, after learning the adventures Sonic!reader has done and fought during. Wonder Woman smiles at the hedgehog, Sonic!reader then tells about how they have a female friend that wields a hammer. Immediately Wonder Woman is sat down when Sonic!reader describes the hammer and how big it is. Now Wonder Woman needs to know lore.

Gotham villains hate to see Sonic!reader coming when literally next minute they are in jail or in the asylum. Literally poison ivy and Harley were ready for their plan to succeed. But when they took a step forward, they were already in the asylum with a hedgehog swinging cell keys playfully in a guard uniform. “Already ahead of ya! Bye bye!” Then the blue hedgehog is gone.

The hedgehog being wrapped in a blanket like a baby because he got a bit tried when running. Clark is trying not to cry while holding the hedgehog. “Clark…give me the hedgehog.—" Bruce tries to grab the hedgehog. But the super immediately flies away.

Sonic!reader Who does his idle animation whenever speeding away from danger, mocking them as he wags his finger. “Gotta try harder than that!”

Catwoman having her whip around the blue hedgehog, having him hogtied. Sonic!reader is grumbling like the gremlin they are while catwoman, aka Selina is contacting Bruce. “Bruce..I got a hedgehog that says he’s with you..” “sigh..here I come.”

Barry and Wally just watching Sonic!reader speed around, they laugh at how adorable and excited the house. They Wally speeds over to try and stop sonic!reader who got stuff in a box.

“That’s so crash!” Bart says smiling at Sonic!reader who burned into a empty street with their speed. The fire shows a detailed chili dog. “I don’t know what that means, but yeah!” Reader says smiling and high giving Bart.

Impulse who likes Sonic!reader like a brother. Always asking for races and who can shove most food, but honestly it makes impulse and the flash family kinda disappointed to see that you aren’t really like them as you throw up. You eat for energy, they have to eat or else they die. Impulse still likes you treat you like you are part of the flash family, just like the flash does as well.

“You’re too slow!” Sonic!reader says when speeding pass impulse, aka Bart. Bart smiles at this and zooms to catch up which his new brother figure.

Batfamily vs Flashfamily wanting custody over the small hedgehog.

Bruce just training and seeing how fast Sonic!reader is and his potentials before treating Sonic!reader like son he just picked up. (He basically did) Bruce seeing how childish and smart mouth he can be reminded him of one of his sons, so he just basically “adopted” this small hedgehog.

Dick is just not amused at another speedster, what he is amused that this so called “speedster” is named Sonic and is fast like the flash. Reader just shows up in the manor holding up a chili dog with a goofy smile. “Want one? It’s still hot.” Dick couldn’t help but smile at the adorable hedgehog male and took the chili dog. Only he took the chili dog because he wanted to seem nice

Damian who couldn’t care what you are and who you are. Thought he is amused by how quick you are to have the audacity to talk back to him. He found out your weakness and smirks every-time the face of the hedgehog’s face drops at the word “pool.

Tim basically being DR. Eggman for Sonic!reader but more chill and totally not a villian. Tim just wants to know how a hedgehog is talking and is fast like the flash. Maybe he would pull on your quills to get a sample

Jason just reading the hedgehog books, maybe even bringing a comic book to Sonic!reader’s liking as the hedgehog has an oversized shirt with a goofy ahh smile. “Sup Jay!” Sonic!reader says with a smile. Jason just stays quiet and prays that he doesn’t show cute aggression at this hedgehog ass motherfucker.

Sonic!reader who just relaxes in the Wayne manor, talking to Alfred who just freshly made him some chili dogs. Yeah reader can get use to this.

[bruciemilf]

Dick becoming Robin at 10 is so interesting because hey, this is pretty much one of the world's youngest athletes who wanted to kill his parent's murderer with his bare hands.

He's also the same person who stays up too late watching cartoons and most likely falls asleep during fights.

The rogue gallery vs Robin but it's Harley carrying a sleeping Boy Wonder to her hyenas to watch over him in a cuddle nest, Ivy making a thorned protection shed around him, and Harvey covering him with his jacket while they wait for batman to come collect his boy

If he's running after Waylon in the sewers and trips, bruising his knees, Waylon will wait out Batman with him while offering him rat stew, " It's good for growth." Dick politely declines but appreciates the sentiment

Selina bribes him with late night milkshakes and sweet delights and takes him to animal shelters. She sends Bruce 10+ pics of Dick cuddling with homeless kittens,

She watches Batman toe the edge of insanity as his ward throws an Olympic tantrum because he was forbidden from adopting 20 cats and holy hell. This crime life is worth it.

Oswald teaches him to pick pocket and also educates him on bird care. Bruce asks him how his first solo mission's going,

" arrest him??"

Dick sends him a snap chat of a bird eating seeds from his hand like, " I can't the little guys are eating"

Mr. Freeze helps Dick with his physics homework while Bruce is quite literally on ice. He gets sick and can't patrol because it'd be irresponsible, but Dick is just having fun with the sirens

" Fun" means tying the Joker up like a pinata and beating the hell out of him while wearing a peach and mint facemask

[thebibliosphere]

What do you think of the Telltale Batman games?

I went into it a bit on this post a while back (spoilers for the ending in the final reblog chain). But in quick summary:

Lots of fun. Well worth buying when it goes on sale.

Really love how much humor Bruce is allowed. His undercover persona as a dirtbag billionaire turning into a crime lord is a lot of fun.

Bruce and Selina get on like a house on fire with all the expected casualties of a house fire in Gotham.

Harley Quinn mob boss: YES YES YES

The game really said, 'BatJokes otp <3333'

ID: Two screenshots from the Batman: The Enemy Within Telltale game. Both screenshots depict a nighttime background in the city of Gotham. The top image shows the Joker, dressed in a green shirt dragging Batman, who is dressed in civilian clothes as Bruce Wayne, over a table by the collar of his leather jacket as he demands, “Why won’t you love me?!” while Bruce stares wide-eyed at him, lips parted in surprise.

The next image shows both men turning comically to regard a civilian at a nearby table who looks like he wants the floor to swallow him up just so he can get away from what looks like the weirdest public gay break-up going on outside the Gotham equivalent of a Starbucks at 4am.

---

I really enjoy the dialogue options you have as Bruce Wayne vs. Batman and the fact that you can play Bruce as airheaded or cunty as you like. He's either playing Bruce as a spoiled little rich boy or a well-meaning himbo with elevator music playing behind his eyes. There's no in-between.

Alfred is written out of character at the end, and it pulls the whole thing down.

I'd still play a third installment if they made one because I really want to enjoy Tell Tale style games; they just always seem to let me down a bit. But I want to believe...

[distractedducky]

The dichotomy of man

[poisonousquinzel]

"Do you think I'm enjoyin' myself? You think I like going out and seein' him in these scumbags day after day? No! Of course not! But no one else is going to help these people in a way that'll stick.

So...Ya want me to stop? Arrest me. Send me back to Arkham...Cause that's what it'll take.

Ya ain't stupid, Bruce.

I'm not the problem here. They are.

So why don'tcha waste the time you've spent here lecturin' me and go use it on the scoundrels who deserve it. Go take this shit up with the morally corrupt judges that keep letting these creepy abusive fuckin' freaks waltz back out onto the streets to hurt people again!"

♡

/// the Return To Crime blueprint that Harley deserves<3

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding: Harley Quinn vs. Joker #1

Harley Quinn (2016) #1 || Variant Cover; Color | Artist: Francis Manapul

Harley Quinn: Make Em Laugh #2

Harley Quinn (2016) #58

Batman: Black & White #3

Harley Quinn (2014) #25

Harley Quinn (2000) #2

Batman (2016) #100

[redr0sewrites]

DC Masterlist

Jason Todd:

giving Jason vs Ak!Jason a blowjob hcs - smut/nsfw

things you say that fluster Ak!Jason vs Jason Hcs - fluff/sfw

Dick Grayson:

Period Comfort - fluff/sfw

Aftercare when he's Subbing Hcs - fluff/nsfw

Tim Drake:

Tim Drake x reader General Hcs - fluff/nsfw

Multi Character:

Sounding Hcs w the DC Batboys - (ft: Dick Grayson x reader, Jason todd x reader, Bruce Wayne x reader) - nsfw/smut

Kisses w Them Hcs - DC Batboys x reader (ft: Dick Grayson x reader, Jason Todd x reader, Bruce Wayne x reader) - sfw/fluff

Blowjob Hcs w the Dc Batboys Hcs - Dc Batboys x inexperienced!reader (ft: Dick Grayson x reader, Jason Todd x reader, Bruce Wayne x reader) - nsfw/smut

Dom/Switch/Sub Hcs w the Dc Batboys x reader (ft: Dick Grayson x reader, Jason Todd x reader, Bruce Wayne x reader) - nsfw/smut

Types of Dates They Enjoy (ft: Dick Grayson x reader, Jason Todd x reader, Bruce Wayne x reader, Tim Drake x reader)

Pegging Hcs (male!reader) (ft: Harley Quinn x reader, Poison Ivy x reader, Wonder Woman x reader)