jupitermelichios

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explaining the plots of various ygo series to my partner and his take away was "if you run out plot ideas, just nort a boy, that's the yugioh way"

and like, he's not wrong

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Things that canonically exist in Riverdale:

street drug called jingle-jangle

parallel universes

a dog with a superhero healing factor

the literal-actual devil

satanic nuns

a ttrpg which possesses the minds of those who play it

the holy grail and the spear of longinus

100% provable evidence that unions are considered a tool of divine grace and unionising will help you get into heaven

heaven

an FBI unit specialising in pyrokinesis

an FBI unit which exclusively exists to break up illegal absinthe bootlegging opperations

19th century witch burnings

hellmouths

the corpse of what is claimed to be alien preserved in a barrel of maple syrup

an online auction site that exclusively sells serial killer momentos called E-Slay

a hotel chain called the five seasons (i need to know what the fifth season is called so bad)

vhs cassette rental stores specialising in snuff films

the real housewives tv franchise (not that weird, but it is weird that veronica's mom is canonically one of the housewives)

an illegal casino run and staffed entirely by highschoolers

twin children named juniper and dagwood (sometimes)

the ability for some humans to actually be angels without knowing it

American Psycho the Musical (this one exists in our world as well, but it shouldn't)

the body of a dead fbi agent mummified under the floor of betty's family's dining room

a porcelain doll possessed by the spirit of a 200 year old immortal lesbian witch

the greek god Charon

Asgard

a published tell-all interview with satan himself

a version of jughead who is trapped in an alan wake parody and is therefor sealed in a bunker underneath the town, using cosmic powers to write the lives of the friends he can never see again on his typewriter because if he stops then the world will end

and the epic highs and lows of highschool football

and traditionally this would be the point where i go 'psych, i actually made some of these up', but no, all of these are real, I could never come up with something this batshit

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I mentioned this in a fanfic a while back, and got so many comments from other neurodivergent people saying that they do the same thing but didn't know anyone else did that now I want some actual numbers

Thesis: Autistic and ADHD people have a tendency to express affection via headbutting, and this is something not commonly done by non Austic/ADHD people.

I've added specific options for non Autistic/ADHD folks who have loved ones who are, to try and account for people picking up the habit from their loved ones.

By headbutting, I mean knocking your head against someone else's body. Whether it's hard or gentle is irrelevant to the question at hand, but this is different from just leaning against someone or pressing your foreheads together.

I'm specifically interested in this solely as a gesture of affection, not in headbutting during playfighting or roughhousing (even if it's very affectionate roughhousing!)

If you think there's nuance I'm missing - for example you're from a culture where this is a common practise for everyone - I'd love to hear it in the comments/tags/reblogs.

I'd love it if people could reblog this so more people see and take it!

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*Slides a $20 across the table

How much for the important act 3 stuff of your Durgestarion fic

It's on the list! I'm prodding at a couple of different sequel ideas, but I learned long ago never to make promises about what's getting written until it's actually finished: me and my muse both have ADHD, lmao

I definitely want to over the cult of bhaal and orin stuff from act 3, there's just so much juicy character stuff to get my teeth into there, and hopefully eventually Cavador and Astarion's siblings as well.

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How Gladiator 2 chose to depict him:

(casting by Kate Rose James, make-up designed by Martin McClean, direction and production by Riddley Scott.

Historical research by absolutely no one)

Reconstruction of bust of Roman emperor Caracalla.

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could she catch kira? yes, of course. she'd have it done in an afternoon. she's an extremely smart, extremely driven, investigator who comes from a universe where magic and gods are the norm. evil sentient gorillas with psychic powers are a regular issue in her city: a death note would not seem in any way weird or unusual to her.

the question is not could she catch him, the question is could she survive, because she would also a) publish multiple articles specifically baiting kira to kill her and calling him pathetic in order to draw him out, and b) once she found him, sell the story to the associated press so her name and photo appear in every newspaper in the world, and also give multiple TV interviews where she points out what a loser he is.

Normally, this combative approach to journalism is not a problem for her, because she has superman to protect her, but he can't punch death magic, so there is a real chance that she dies.

Ultimately, I think her survival hinges on whether she figures out kira is using magic before her articles make it to japan. if yes, Superman will ask one of his magic friends to protect her, and she survives. If no, she dies, and it'll probably be at least six months before DC edittorial bring her back to life.

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I'm feeling the need to be a hater but in a harmless and ultimately meaningless way, so join me around this barrell and lets shoot some motherfucking fish

Disclaimer: I am not telling you you can't enjoy these movies, or judging your taste if you loved them. This is literally just me being a hater about movies that happen to bug me personally for various reasons.

*of these random 10 11 movies I personally really hated

** obligatory disclaimer that I did not pay to watch this movie, JKR did not make a single penny out of my morbid fascination with cinematic trainwrecks

(despite what this list suggests, I watch a lot of movies that aren't cgi-heavy blockbusters, but having a specific interest in movie adaptations of comic books means I watch a lot of really terrible cgi-heavy blockbusters)

Anti-propoganda below the cut

Spawn: this movie hurts to look it. One of the single most visually unpleasant experiences of my life, and I'm including recovering from major surgery in that.

Batman v Superman: the entire plot hinges on people believing Superman shot a man to death with a gun. A less significant but unavoidable plot point involves Lex Luthor giving someone a jar of his own piss as a death threat. Compared to that, the Martha thing barely registers as stupid.

Cats: is it as bad as the viral reviews claimed? Sadly no. Did I almost strain a muscle trying not to laugh too loudly at how terrible it was when I saw it in the cinema? Absolutely.

Fantastic Beasts: none of the FB movies could reasonably be described as good, but the third one really lends credence to the JKR black mould poisoning theory.

The King's Man: they very clearly ran out of filming time/locations due to covid, and then for some reason instead of shelving what cannot have been a particularly expensive production, they decided to edit together what little footage they had and release it as one of the most fascinatingly incoherent movies of the last decade.

Last Airbender: the very rare movie that actually is as bad as the negative hype, this may have the worst use of cgi superpowers in all of cinema.

Fant4stic: if you don't have depression, but want to know what it feels like, watch this movie. That utter emptiness you're now feeling? That's what depression feel like. You don't feel bad, necessarily. You just feel nothing.

Transformers: none of the bayformers movies are good, but Last Knight is the only one which just straight up doesn't make sense. It's like someone took the strawman 'terrible soulless entirely CGI blockbuster' movie people use in tumblr arguments about hollywood, and decided to actually make it.

Black Adam: I feel bad about how terrible this film is, because it was a genuine passion project, and it has a great cast, but it also has the worst colour-grading and some of the worst editting I've ever seen. If a group of untallented first year film students got trapped in purgatory with dwayne johnson, pierce brosnan, and manual editting equipment from the 1930s, and had to make a superhero film in order to escape, this is the film they'd make.

TMNT: this film just makes me irrationally angry. It feels like a bad youtube skit about 'what if michael bay made an animated kids movie' but it's real and it cost $150 million

Flash: this was going to be a 10 option poll, but then I remembered this movie includes CGI christopher reeve, against the express wishes of christopher reeve, and WB went ahead and released it after Ezra Miller was arrested for kidnapping, and then it had the gall to also be a terrible film in almost every way.

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Majima Goro Is Dead (Long Live Majima Goro) | Part 7: Round Peg, Square Hole

Fandom: RGG/Yakuza

Relationship: Majima & Nishida

Tags: Magical Realism AU, Monster Majima, Literal hannya Majima, Majima famly nonsense, Genderfluid Majima, Goromi mention, Nishida is the craziest motherfucker in the RGG universe and I will die on this hill

His office is in no way fit for an interview, but not it’s like the kid's here to apply to some other family, so he figures seeing how Nishida reacts to doing this sitting cross-legged on a futon while Majima sits in his expensive office chair with his feet up on the desk probably counts as part of the selection process. “So, Nishida-kun, what made ya want to be a Yakuza?”

Yakuza don't do job interviews, but when a kid in a suit turns up at the Family office and says he's here to interview for a job in organized crime, it's not like Majima is going to turn him away.

[Read on AO3]

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Majima Goro Is Dead (Long Live Majima Goro) | Part 6: The Fisherman's Wife

Fandom: Yakuza/RGG

Characters: Kiryu Kazuma, Dojima Yayoi

Tags: Magical Realism AU, Dragons, Myth & Folklore, Yayoi steals every scene she's in and I'm obsessed with her, what if seal wives but Dragons, fuck Dojima Sohei all my homies hate Dojima Sohei

Yayoi Dojima is standing with her back to him, staring out of the window of what had once been her husband’s office at the rain-soaked streets below. There’s no light in the room except the flickering neon of Kamurocho beyond the glass, but he has no difficulty in making her out. She doesn’t glow, exactly. Instead, she appears always to be lit by some light source not present in this realm, as though the lights of the Dragon Palace can still find her, even on land.

[Read on AO3]

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Majima Goro Is Dead (Long Live Majima Goro) | Part 5: Fortune's Empress

Fandom: Yakuza/RGG

Relationship: Kiryu & Haruka family bonding

Tags: #Magical Realism AU, #Dragon Kiryu (sort of), #found family, #good uncle Kiryu, #Yakuza Kiwami, #Haruka is the only sensible person in the RGG universe

Haruka’s not sure what Mister Kiryu means, but it doesn’t seem very important. “Am I really your family?” His expression softens, and when he smiles, it reaches all the way to his eyes, like he really means it. “Of course you are. How could you be anything else?” And that feels more like real magic than even the dragon.

[Read on AO3]

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Fic: out here on the other side

Relationships: Astarion & Gale, Durge & Gale, Astarion/Durge

Tags: #Gale-centric #Warning: Mystra #Gale Needs a Hug #None of these characters are okay, but they’re trying, and that’s the important thing #Protective Astarion #Astarion and Durge somehow have the most functional relationship in the party #Fun with fantasy blasphemy

“Gale,” Astarion says eventually, the words carefully measured. “What the actual fuck?!” “Star." Better is always the gentler monster, at least emotionally. "He didn’t know.” “How?! Hells, Gale, you can’t just go around adding more gods to my kill-list! Three is already far too many for one lifetime.” He sounds angry, an edge of that deep rage he usually keeps so well hidden colouring the words, but... “You are speaking of Mystra?” “Obviously! What other goddess—?! Actually no, don’t tell me. If there has been more than one deity sticking their fingers into that vortex of insanity you call a brain and stirring, I don’t want to know it. I don’t have the time or nearly enough enchanted weaponry.”

Gale gets relationship advice from monsters. It proves surprisingly helpful.

[Read on AO3]

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In Every Quarter of the Skies | Chapter 27: Survivors

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Relationships: Derek/Stiles, McCall pack bonding, Stiles & Malia bromance

Tags: Ensemble cast, creature!Stiles, vampire-adjacent!Stiles, season 3A rewrite, established Sterek relationship, fun with mythology, plot-heavy, slow-burn

Derek wraps an arm around Stiles’s shoulders, smiles slightly when Stiles lets out a relieved sigh and slumps against Derek’s side. “Have I told you lately you’re the best boyfriend in the world? Because I feel like I don’t tell you that enough.” He still can’t quite make his mouth form the word, caught between the memory of Paige and the name he can’t stop his wolf from trying to use, but Stiles just laughs when he says, “Ditto,” seemingly completely unbothered by Derek’s hang-ups. Being with him is so easy.

[Read on AO3]

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So I feel I have a pretty good idea of how the various companions would turn out if they were to somehow go through BG3 without a player influencing them (aka I love these assholes but they're all morons and they'd make terrible terrible choices without me), but I genuinely can't make up my mind what ending Gale would get without a player controlling or influencing him.

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Majima Goro Is Dead (Long Live Majima Goro) | Part 4: Mid-Afternoon of the Living Dead

Fandom: Yakuza/RGG

Ships: Majima/Kiryu pre-slash, minor Majima & Minami

Tags: #Magical Realism AU #Monster Majima #literal hannya Majima, #Genderfluid Majima, #Goromi is menioned but does not actually appear, #Crack Treated Seriously, #Majima tries to do the fake zombie attack from Kiwami but fails to account for the fact that he's living in a universe where magic and zombies are real, #fortunately Kiryu is here to save the day!

Kiryu has to admit, when he rounds a corner and finds a hoard of people, all of them, including Majima, done up in zombie make-up, he’s impressed. “You hired actors for this, Majima-no-niisan?” “Obviously,” Majima says, and points to an arm, lying disembodied in a pool of blood. “They didn’t last long, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”

[Read on AO3]

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this shot is so fucking slay like yeah give me a spin-off pls ty

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Fic: we can be like they are (baby take my hand)

Fandom: BG3

Ship: Dark Urge/Astarion

Tags: idiots to lovers, monsters learning to be loved, slow-burn, astarion experiences the mortifying ordeal of being known, Vampire/cannibal solidarity was not previously a thing but they're making it a thing, extremely fluffy for something that is technically a snuff fic

There’s really no good thing to say in circumstances such as these, but “Welcome back,” is at least relatively neutral. “Hi,” they say, and then, “Are you okay?�� “Am I okay?!” The words come out high pitched and over-loud, almost a screech, and Astarion forces his voice to be quieter lest they be overheard when he hisses, “I killed you!” “I know. That was the plan.” They take in his expression. “Was that not the plan?”

[Read on AO3]

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Majima Goro Is Dead (Long Live Majima Goro) | Part 3: Fireflies

Fandom: Yakuza/RGG

Characters: Majima Goro, Shimano Futoshi

Tags: magical realism au, monster Majima, litteral hannya Majima, character study, Majima & Shimano have one of the most fucked up relationships in fiction, I want to study them under a microscope

Shimano’s in a suit, for once, the illusion of it so perfect Majima can’t see the joins. He’s seen beneath the mask more than any living person, but even he can't see any hint of the monster today. They’re both of them playing the part of humans to perfection.

[Read on AO3]