#happy almost new years i hope 2024 is good to all of us

[sesamestreep]

New Taylor Swift prompts! 16, Matt/Foggy

16. I’ve missed you all this time (from this prompt list) I don't know what this is, but it's technically set in the 60s, even though I did not make that explicitly clear anywhere in the text and it serves no purpose beyond just...vibes. I mostly just wanted to write silly new year’s fic, don’t worry about historical accuracy or world-building, everyone be cool! happy 2024, you silly and sultry geese! on ao3 here 🥂✨

Matt can still hear the noise of the party, barely dampened even when he's several rooms removed. He’d be able to hear it from the lobby of the building, truth be told, but here he can still make out conversations without having to focus that hard. He tries to direct his senses somewhere else—somewhere with less overlapping chatter and clinking glasses and shuffling feet over plush carpets—and breathe deep, so that maybe he can regain some equilibrium and hopefully go back to the party in a few minutes and act normal. It’s almost midnight, after all, and who goes to a New Year’s Eve party just to ditch out before midnight?

“Matthew Augustus Murdock,” a voice calls out from the far end of the paneled hallway.

“Not my middle name,” Matt says, smiling, “as you already know.”

“But wouldn’t it be better if it was?” Foggy asks, as he slides down to sit next to Matt. 

“Yes, I imagine I’d have lived a much easier and more successful life, if only my middle name was…what was it again?”

“Albert,” Foggy says, “or something. Who cares?”

“Good point,” Matt says, pressing his shoulder into Foggy’s happily. “How’d you find me?”

“I used the one and only superpower God graced me with: I’m like a homing pigeon for you specifically. I always know where to find you. It’s eerie, frankly, and damned useless, but—“

“Not to me,” Matt interjects, too readily. “I mean, for what it’s worth.”

Foggy nods, his overly long hair that he keeps meaning to get cut rasping over his shirt's stiff collar as he does. “That’s a good point.”

“I make those occasionally.”

“Occasionally,” Foggy repeats in a comically shrill, tiny voice, like he’s doing an impression of a cartoon mouse, for whatever reason. He’s a little drunk, clearly, which Matt could tell from the way he’s talking and the way he’s moving and the way he smells and, well, that’s probably enough evidence. 

“If I’m ever in trouble, I know who to call,” Matt says, which is maybe too honest, but Foggy doesn’t have to know that.

“You wouldn’t even have to call, Matt,” Foggy replies, solemnly grasping his shoulder. “If you’re ever in trouble, I’ll know and I’ll come running.”

“I would pay real money to see you actually run anywhere.”

“You’d have to, my man. I imagine it would take a massive breakthrough in science for you to see anything at all, and those things tend to cost a pretty penny,” Foggy says, grandly. “And also, on a much more serious note, go fuck yourself.”

Matt laughs and collapses against Foggy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I just know how much you hate running.”

“Which means you’ve entirely missed the inherent capital-R romanticism of me offering to do it for you! Classic Murdock. Absolute philistine behavior. I should expect it by now.”

“Your gallantry is wasted on me,” Matt agrees, still doing that thing of being too honest.

“I know,” Foggy sighs, theatrically, “and yet, here I am.”

“Why are you here, anyway?”

“Missed you, came looking. Same as ever.”

“Aw,” Matt says, leaning into his side even more. “You’re right, I really don’t deserve you.”

“I never said that. You said that,” Foggy says, poking him. “But anyway, I lied and the real answer to your question is that I got tired of girls coming up to me and asking where my handsome friend had got to.”

Matt knows two things with a decent degree of certainty: Foggy hadn’t been lying when he gave his first answer (Matt would have heard it in his heartbeat and likely noticed any other number of tells that Foggy has when he does lie, besides) and that no one would have had to ask him to go looking for Matt after he disappeared. His joke about homing pigeon-like tendencies is more truthful than either of them would like to acknowledge. When Matt goes missing—as he very frequently does at these types of things—Foggy always comes to find him. Matt’s been doing this since way before he met Foggy—having overly heightened senses does not make crowded social functions more manageable in general—but he can probably admit that he does it more now that he knows someone will come looking for him.

He also knows that girls like Foggy a lot more than Foggy thinks they do. He’s always talking about how girls seek him out to get in with Matt, but Matt doesn’t really believe that. There have been a few girls, here and there, certainly enough that Foggy’s right to be a little paranoid about it, who have turned their sights from Foggy to Matt, which on top of being unkind is just bad business sense. Anyone with a brain in their head would see that Foggy’s the better option of the two of them. And Matt’s got plenty of flaws, but he’d certainly never take up with anyone who hurt his best friend, so it doesn’t work out the way anyone hopes it will, anyway, when they do. Still, he's sure Foggy could have found a nice girl to keep him entertained until Matt got back to the party, if he put his mind to it, and that maybe he'd just been looking for an excuse to duck out himself when someone asked about Matt.

“This is where I got to,” Matt says, with a slightly pathetic shrug.

“Who says I meant you?” Foggy asks, absently. “I have other friends that are handsomer than you!”

“Not only do you not have a single handsomer friend in all the world,” Matt says, belatedly unsure if ‘handsomer’ is even a word, but otherwise too confident to turn back, “you don’t even have another friend at this party.”

“I’m exceedingly charming, Matthew,” Foggy over-enunciates. “Everyone at this party is my new best friend.”

Matt loops his arm through Foggy’s and leans his head back against the wall. “Sounds like I’ve got a lot of competition.”

“You’re not having fun?” Foggy asks, the change of topic so sudden and his tone so unexpectedly serious that Matt has a brief moment of confusion that he means with this joke they’ve got going. It takes a second to realize he means at the party in general.

“It’s fancy.”

“Too fancy, you mean…”

“You know I don’t go in for all this stuff,” Matt says, shrugging. 

“Like I do, you mean?” Foggy asks, lightly, even though Matt can feel him warming with embarrassment. 

“Like I used to,” Matt clarifies, and trusts his meaning to be clear.

“Right,” Foggy says, and the tone in his voice is the one he uses exclusively when he refers to Matt’s ex-girlfriend from junior year who almost caused him to drop out. “Fair enough, I suppose.”

“You can head back. Really, I don’t mind. I just need a few more minutes.”

“No, you’re right. It’s…a bit stuffy, isn’t it?” Foggy muses. “I mean, I didn’t even know people still had apartments like this, outside of, well, the Rockefellers.” 

The apartment belongs to the parents of one of their friends from law school and the only reason they have free rein over the place is because the parents are vacationing in Aspen with friends. Even without being able to see it, Matt can tell it’s a swanky place. The rug he’s currently sitting on is so plush that he can basically sink his entire hand into it. Every table he passed on his way to this hiding place smelled so strongly of Pine-Sol that there has to be a maid on staff, if not a team of them. He’s fairly certain this random hallway he discovered is actually a back passage to the kitchens, so the servants don’t have to be seen coming and going. He's not sure if he asked their host about it that they'd even know it existed. And Matt’s shoes, as well as most of his clothes, are secondhand.

“You were having fun until I made you feel bad,” Matt says, tucking his chin onto Foggy’s shoulder and trying to look contrite.

“No, I mean—I like having you around, Matt. You keep me honest,” Foggy laughs. “Two and a half years of law school, four years at an Ivy before that, I think I’ve just made peace with having to go to parties in uncomfortable clothes and to make conversation with people I don’t really like. I don’t think I’d call it fun, but it’s a social life of some kind, I suppose.”

“We should have gone to Josie’s,” Matt says, holding onto him too tightly, even with the excuse of a few drinks.

Foggy snorts, thinking of the beloved dive bar they sneak off to in Hell’s Kitchen whenever they can, whenever they’re home. It’s only a matter of blocks to get there, but sometimes, at school, it feels farther away than all that.

“I don’t dare imagine the caliber of our prospects for a kiss at midnight there,” Foggy says, with an exaggerated shudder.

“Can’t be any worse than our prospects here,” Matt replies. 

Foggy whistles, low, under his breath. “You’re going to be disappointing a lot of nice girls with that kind of talk, Murdock!”

“Better to disappoint them now than later,” Matt says, fully burying his face in Foggy’s shoulder now. He gets like this when he drinks. Foggy's used to it.

“Oh, that’s right. You don’t do the whole ‘going steady’ thing anymore,” Foggy says, leaning in conspiratorially. “You’re too damaged and that means you’re never going to get married, so you’d rather not lead anyone on.”

“You say that like it’s not true,” Matt whispers back.

“It isn’t true, you moron!” Foggy laughs. “One day, some beautiful girl is going to turn your head so quick, you’ll have neck problems for the rest of your life!”

“Sounds uncomfortable,” Matt says.

“And I’ll be there,” Foggy continues, like Matt didn’t even speak, “laughing.”

“Well, as long as you’ll be there, Foggy.”

“Did I mention you’re a moron?”

“Yes. A few times now, in fact.”

“Then, I’ve done my duty.”

“And what about you?” Matt asks. “When’s somebody going to turn your head?”

“Somebody turns my head every goddamn day, it feels like,” Foggy grumbles. “The problem isn’t my head. It’s everybody else’s.”

“There’s plenty of girls who’d be more than happy to trap you in matrimony.”

“Hmm, well, I’m sure that’s true enough,” Foggy replies, thoughtfully. “I guess it’s more about finding someone you wouldn’t mind being trapped with.”

“And you haven’t found her yet, I take it?”

“No,” Foggy says, sadly. The girl he dated for most of their sophomore year—the one everyone had been certain Foggy was going to end up marrying—had just gotten engaged last month. Foggy still wasn’t entirely over it, Matt was pretty sure.

“And you’re certain she’s not here?” Matt asks, encouragingly.

“Unlikely,” Foggy says. “None of the girls here would be caught dead with me in the daylight. One of them might be unscrupulous enough to let me kiss her at midnight, though.”

“So, go back,” Matt replies. “Find the girl in that room with the lowest standards and lay one on her!”

“I will if you will.”

“I don’t know this for sure, but I do have serious doubts that any girl in the room will let the both of us kiss her at midnight.”

“I meant, you should—you know what I meant!” Foggy exclaims, embarrassed again. 

“I was trying to be funny!”

“‘Trying’ being the operative word there…”

Matt sighs. “What’s the point of kissing someone at midnight when there’s almost no chance of seeing them ever again after tonight?”

“You’ve just described the point yourself! It’s just for fun, to start the year off right! There’s no pressure!” Foggy says, disbelieving. "What’s gotten into you? I thought zero expectations romance was your specialty!”

“Maybe I’m just not a New Year's kind of guy.”

Foggy hums thoughtfully. “Can I tell you my theory?”

“Your theory? About what?”

“About you, and New Year's, and all of that.”

“Oh. Sure. Go ahead.”

“I think you’re afraid,” Foggy says.

“Afraid?” Matt asks. “Of…New Year’s Eve?”

“You don’t want to participate in these silly little rituals, like kissing someone at midnight, because you’re secretly terrified that something good is going to happen to you, and then you won’t know what to do with yourself.”

“Really, Foggy. Be serious!”

“I am serious,” Foggy replies, casually. “You’re scared of being hit over the head with it again.”

“Hit over the head with what?”

“Love,” Foggy says, simply. “You felt it once and it nearly derailed your whole life, so now you avoid any situation where you might accidentally meet someone interesting or have more feelings than you’ve carefully rationed out for yourself for that particular day.”

Matt swallows, feeling utterly exposed. It’s not something he would have been able to say for himself an hour ago, but the words feel true to him coming from someone else. He doesn’t like anybody knowing him well enough to know all of that, though, and if it wouldn’t be so utterly obvious, he’d pull away from Foggy right now just to be safe. Like that would even help, he thinks reluctantly.

“You missed your calling not going into psychiatry, Foggy,” he says, stiffly, once he’s gathered his wits enough to form sentences.

Foggy’s hand, warm and a little damp, closes over Matt’s where it’s still resting on his arm. Matt wants nothing more than to flinch away from it, but he controls the urge in the interest of saving face.

“Don’t be mad at me,” Foggy says, quietly, like there’s a chance they might be overheard somehow and he wants Matt to be the only one who hears this. “I’m just trying to tell you that, in avoiding fun and frivolous things, you are not sparing yourself from being hit over the head. If you’re meant to get hit over the head, it’ll happen whenever and wherever Cupid so chooses. It’ll happen at the deli or the bank or while you’re waiting for the bus. Which means that the only thing you’re ultimately sparing yourself from is fun and frivolity, and that’s a stupid way to live your life. That’s all.”

“I think you just called me a moron again,” Matt says, weakly. He doesn’t know what else to say. The rest of it is...too much to consider.

“I called you stupid, actually, but I see your point.”

In the distance, Matt hears the noise of a crowd of people all simultaneously trying to shush each other, with limited success. He imagines even Foggy can hear it too a moment later when they all begin counting aloud.

“Last chance…” Matt says, tipping his head backwards in the direction of the room where everyone’s gathered.

“It doesn’t matter,” Foggy says, apropos of nothing, as far as Matt can tell. He’s about to ask what he means when Foggy continues, anyway. “I have someone who meets your criteria.”

“My criteria?”

“Yeah. You’ll only accept a kiss from someone you’ll see again after tonight, right?”

“Uh, I don’t think I said ‘only’, I just meant—”

“Too bad,” Foggy says, as the countdown reaches its conclusion. “Happy New Year.”

Matt’s halfway through formulating a question or an objection of some kind, which is the only reason he turns in Foggy’s direction at that moment. It’s clear from the noise of surprise Foggy makes that he absolutely had no intention of kissing Matt right on the mouth and was probably, in fact, aiming for his cheek, trying to be funny and charming after Matt was such a spoilsport about the whole kissing at midnight thing. If Matt hadn’t moved, there’s no doubt in his mind that that’s what Foggy would have done and then it would have been over and they’d already be laughing about it and moving on. But Matt did move and, even awkwardly off center, Foggy is kissing him on the mouth right now and they’re both just frozen like that, shocked and useless.

Matt doesn’t give himself much credit for genius. He’s reasonably smart, and can be even smarter if he applies himself to a subject and really studies up on it, but there’s plenty of people in any given room smarter than he is, most of the time. He has his moments, though, and this is one of them. He sees very clearly the two paths available to them. Down one, this moment stretches awkwardly and they allow it to become a source of discomfort and then outright pain that they'll avoid talking about for years, or maybe possibly forever. Regardless, it has the power to ruin their friendship and Matt simply can't abide that. Down the other, they don’t flinch from it and they don’t make it any stranger than it has to be and it becomes one weird but not fully objectionable moment in their long and storied relationship. They’re not going to trot it out as an anecdote at parties, sure, but they’re not going to become crazy about denying it happened either. If Matt can steer them in the direction of the latter, he thinks maybe it will all be okay, but it’s going to require him not to make matters worse. For whatever reason, the only way he can think to not do that is by kissing Foggy back.

It’s immediately apparent that, momentary genius or no, while it does not technically make things worse, it also does not make them better. Then again, Foggy makes a sort of interested noise as he feels Matt return the kiss, which Matt is infinitely better off for knowing about and having heard and being able to think about some other time when he’s alone preferably. 

They don’t take it any farther than just that. They’re not necking in some random person’s hallway or doing anything truly objectionable. They just stay there, mouths pressed together so that Matt can smell (and sort of taste) the champagne Foggy’s had and the last cigarette he smoked and a hint of that sugary gum he always chews, even though he hasn’t had a piece since before they came to the party. It mostly feels, more than anything else, like they’re breathing together and it’s not sexy the way wild, passionate groping in the dark can be, but it’s intimate in its own unique way. Matt, against his own better judgment, puts a hand on Foggy’s cheek, and he doesn't really know why beyond just really wanting to and that seems to be reason enough.

Foggy doesn’t try to slip his tongue into Matt’s mouth—despite the alarming reality that the moment Matt realizes that’s not what he’s doing, he also realizes he’d let him—or try to escalate matters one bit. His hand is still grasping Matt’s collar from when he first pulled him in, but his other one doesn’t roam. His lips, still pressed to Matt’s, only move to exert a little more pressure and to alter the angle at which they meet slightly. He takes precisely zero liberties and makes no effort to get fresh with him at all. It’s very gentlemanly, and Matt doesn’t know what to do with himself because it doesn’t feel awkward or fumbling at all. It feels like restraint, and once he knows that, everything is different.

The tune of ‘Auld Lang Syne’ reaches him from the other room, but it’s drowned out almost entirely by the sound of Foggy’s heartbeat in Matt’s ears. Foggy must hear it too, though, because he breaks their kiss with the worst sort of gentleness, pulling back only enough for them both to have space to breathe but not far enough that Matt can’t feel that breath on his face.

Matt traces his thumb over the curve of Foggy’s cheek before dropping his hand back down into his own lap and licks his lips as he slowly turns away. 

“Happy New Year,” he says, aiming for calm and unaffected and likely missing it by a lot.

“You too,” Foggy says, even though he already said it first. His heart is still beating too fast and too close and too loud for Matt to read his tone, which is too bad, because he’d really like to know how Foggy feels right now and if he feels anything like Matt does.

Because Matt feels like he’s been hit over the head.

✨

[batboyblog]

In the almost month since the election I’ve gone through so many emotions. I’ve felt hopelessly crushed, furious, overwhelmed, and just plain exhausted. I hate that this has happened, and that the orange shitstain is gonna put the most awful people in power. I’m not gonna lay down and die, but I’m just so tired of this. That man has slowly drained the hope out of this nation for the last ten years and I’m sick of it. I know this didn’t start with him, but he certainly emboldened blatant authoritarianism. I know every generation feels at some point the world is ending, but at this point it feels so difficult to try to have hope for the future. I believe we as a country can be better than this, but I’m not sure at the moment how we can get there.

I know the feeling, the tired part any ways.

in 2016 I was in the Hillary campaign and like we talked about HOW! bad Donald Trump could be, Hillary had a tweet "we can't trust a man who can be baited with a tweet with the nuclear codes" and for us inside the campaign we took all that very seriously for us it was not talk we meant it, we believed he was really dangerous, deeply corrupt possibly criminal already, and totally unqualified and unfit. And we said so, and no one took us seriously, I always remember a nice middle aged couple stopped at our office to get some signs they weren't from the state and were just passing through. But Democrats, supporters and I was trying to push them to maybe volunteer (as was my job) and I talked about how a Republican President (Ie Trump) could appoint up to 4 Supreme Court justices and they would surely do away with Roe V Wade. And They literally rolled their eyes at me and said "I know thats a good line but do you really believe that'd happen? they'd do away with Roe?" yes, yes we did.

So any ways I believed Trump 1.0 would be every bit as bad as it turned out to be, it was even on January 6th a little worse. So I went through the emotional roller coaster in 2016

2024 has been just sad, and tired.

But I do feel something growing in the guts of my soul, rage, pure burning rage. Someone once said that the thing that fuels every good activist is rage at the world for being imperfect. I don't know if thats right or true.

But it's whats getting me up in the morning, we offered hope, and kindness and a better world and they threw it back, well fuck 'em. This is my patch of dirt on god's good earth goddamn it and they can't fucking have it without a fight, I'm a miserable cockroach motherfucker, I will out fight them, out last them, and win and stand on the ashes of their fucking fascist dreams.

more to the point, I did feel like giving up, and saying "well they picked this, eyes wide open, now we all suffer, w/e" but I don't get to give up, Bill Clinton said "there are no permeant victories or defeats in politics" and he's right, this is the call and the cause, to struggle unendingly for the better world and if you're very lucky you live to see it turn a little and a new battle for the better of man kind than the one you spent your life on be engaged. For me personally, my nephew is trans, he's 17 looking at colleges, picking states that are safe for him. I don't have the power to protect him, I did EVERYthing in my power to stop this, because of him, and for him, I'll be out there again and again and again. I wish deals with the devil were real because I'd just go to hell so he could be safe and happy, but sadly only hard work and uncertain outcomes are real.

I have no easy answers, no clean hope of a better world or a better America about to be born from the bitter ashes of this election. Harvey Milk said "I know you cannot live on Hope alone, but without it life is not worth living" And the last 10 years, the forces of darkness have across all of society, wearing many different faces tried to take hope out of our souls, and its brought us here. My favorite speech is by Ann Richards and I quote the end a lot, but here I'll quote something she said way way back in 1988

This Republican Administration treats us as if we were pieces of a puzzle that can’t fit together. They've tried to put us into compartments and separate us from each other. Their political theory is “divide and conquer.” They’ve suggested time and time again that what is of interest to one group of Americans is not of interest to any one else. We’ve been isolated. We’ve been lumped into that sad phraseology called “special interests.” ------ No wonder we feel isolated and confused. We want answers and their answer is that "something is wrong with you."  Well nothing's wrong with you. Nothing’s wrong with you that you can’t fix in November! We've been told -- We've been told that the interests of the South and the Southwest are not the same interests as the North and the Northeast. They pit one group against the other. They've divided this country and in our isolation we think government isn’t gonna help us, and we're alone in our feelings. We feel forgotten. Well, the fact is that we are not an isolated piece of their puzzle. We are one nation. We are the United States of America.

in the 2020s we're doing it to ourselves but its helping the cynical just as much. Each of us trapped on our phones in our own personal self made hell, well not self made, there are algorithms feeling you stories designed to make you feel like shit, because when you feel like shit you stay on-line, and keep doom scrolling. We're divided and our culture, the way we speak to each other it only makes us more divided, we're rubbery and inauthentic.

So I guess, you want hope, get out there and find something you believe in and fight for it, there's a local candidate near you I'm sure you can believe in, a ballot measure, a local group, something, and break the isolation we have to talk again because if we don't, well its already eaten us alive and we're trying to get out of the whale.

[sugarlywhispers]

ex!b.katsuki x reader ; m.izuku x reader — bakugou cheats on his gf, with midoriya's girlfriend.

☆– warnings; ANGST. mention and description of panic attacks, swear words, cheating (bakugou to reader; uraraka to midoriya), description of a fight. But it ends in fluff~ c;

☆–a.n; honestly, i don't know if i'm going to add another chapter... i still have a bit more of ideas for this, but i don't know ._.

in the meantime, i hope you liked this new part! <3

also, i hope ya'll have a wonderful beggining of 2024!!! may this new year bring lots of good thing for everyone, lots of love and adventures, new amazing things and wonderful people to your lives!

love ya'll so much, wish you all ALL the good things life can bring; no more tears, except happy ones. <3

A few weeks go by, and Midoriya and you keep in touch, texting almost everyday. Talking about random stuff, important stuff, whatever the mood is. But it's mostly cute, random stuff, getting to know each other kind of feeling. It's funny how you both have been around each other for so long and did not actually know one another. 

The texting was cute. Like a picture he sends one afternoon, when his shift is calm and almost finished, when the sun is setting, taken from up high in a building. A beautiful sunset picture that you use as a lock screen wallpaper on your phone. Or that one selfie he sent when he shared patrols with Hero Shoto; you remember thinking how cute he looked posing next to the hot and cold Hero, with two fingers of one of his hands pulled up on a peace sign. Or a picture of a little puppy Hero Deku found on a rainy morning shift. He took it to the closest vet so they could help the little animal, and you find that so fucking heroic it makes your heart jump from the cuteness.

"I wonder… who has you smiling like that? Oh , I know… Mister Greeny," Mineta mocks, his eyebrows shaking up and down suggestively.

"Shut up," you bark and hit him on the upper arm strongly. He simply laughs.

Three months pass faster than you actually realize. You're better, you feel better. You haven't had a single panic attack since Midoriya Izuku entered your life. Which is good… it means good.

He is good.

Since that first Friday you grabbed coffee together, you both decided to make it your day. Each and every Friday morning, Izuku and you would go to grab coffee at that same shop you went to the first time; then he would walk you home as the gentleman he is.

It's Friday and you're waiting for him, it's a bit late already, but you know he is coming. He had a night patrol but he insisted to not break the new tradition - his words. You found it cute, so you didn't protest.

But now you're worried, because it's almost 30 minutes since you have been waiting and he hasn't come yet. Then it becomes 40, 45, 50 minutes. You feel your neck itchy, but you try to ignore it, looking at your phone. Waiting for a notification, waiting for Mid‐ Izuku to contact you. But nothing.

It's already been 1.10 hours long and no sign of him. You sigh and decide to go home, it's been more than an hour already. Probably he had something coming up at the last minute, or he simply forgot. He probably had a rough night and he didn't have time to meet you. You're not as important as his job, obviously.

You grab your things and exit the place, the kind girl behind the counter smiles sadly at you and waves her hand as goodbye. You smile, or at least try, in her direction and leave the coffee shop.

You feel itchy all over. This… This is… weird . Why are you feeling like this? You have no right to feel… disappointed, hurt . He's a Hero. He's freaking Number One, pro hero Deku. His job will always come first. But you can't help it. It's like…

You're not my priority, Y/N. Understand that you'll never be. I have to concentrate in my job if want to fucking be Number one.

You haven't heard his voice in your head for a long time now. And hearing it again is… painful. Hurting. Choking .

Every sound around you feels a hundred times louder as you walk, every light blinds you and you don't realize you're bumping into almost everyone around. The pressure on your neck is getting stronger and you can't breathe. You can't think. Your vision is turning black, like that night at the ramen shop with Mineta. A panic attack . You're having one in the middle of the street. How embarrassing . How pathetic . 

You want the blackness to finally evolve you, and don't let go.

And then you see it, you feel it. Green eyes and strong hands grabbing your shoulders. You know those green eyes, you have seen them before. He's moving his mouth but you can't hear his voice. He looks worried; why is he worried? You feel rough hands that grab your face as softly as he can, and they are cold. You aren't used to the cold, but you like it. It's refreshing.

"...hear me? Y/N, please breathe, okay? Breathe with me," his voice is comforting, so you follow him, you breathe with him. "That's it… You're okay. We are okay."

The sight around you starts to clear, the blackness dissipates and you see clearly. His face is the first thing your eyes find. You know him. "Izuku?"

" Yes! Yes, it's me… Hi, love," he smiles relieved. You look around realizing you're in the middle of a circle, with him. People are watching, some worried, some annoyed. Embarrassing .

You realize then that Izuku's hands are around your face, holding you with no intention of letting go. "Izuku…"

He blinks, realizing then probably your surroundings and nods. "Yes, come one, let's go…"

Izuku helps you stand, his arm surrounding your waist pulling your weight on him so he helps you walk. Everyone starts clapping, clearly recognizing hero Deku even in his civilian clothes.

He walks you to your apartment in silence. Until you walk into the building, "There's no elevator?"

"No, it's been broken since before I got here," you know your voice sounds throaty, and the expression on his face says it worries him.

He sighs looking at the long stairs ahead. He knows you live on the fourth floor. "Okay, then," he says before picking you up, bridal style.

"Izuku! I can walk!"

"No, you can't. You have been putting your weight on me the whole way here."

"Still, I…"

"Shut up. Let me help," his tone it's so authoritative you have no other option than to do that. Shut up and let him help, because you know you wouldn't be able to climb those stairs up on your own even if you tried.

On the way up, you can't avoid watching him. He looks… angry . You have never seen him like that, or better said, you have never experienced his anger, you have seen him angry on the TV, fighting villains.

"I'm sorry," you say, and he stops midway, his eyes traveling to your face.

"You're apologizing for having a panic attack?" He's frowning, his tone incredulous, but serious. It makes tingles run your body.

"I'm… Yes, it's embarrassing ," you feel your voice crack a bit, and you hate that.

"Y/N, it's not embarrassing. It's a trauma response. And it's okay to go through it. But you need to heal…"

You look away from his face, tears already burning your eyes. You can't help but hear his voice again.

Having panic attacks in public is embarrassing, Y/N. You have to control them. Don't be fucking weak.

" He said… he said they were embarrassing."

You know you shouldn't be saying this to Izuku, but you said it even before you could actually think it.

" Who said-…" Izuku stops mid sentence. Takes a deep, deep breath, and continues climbing the stairs in silence. You don't dare look up. He's so tense and angry, you don't really have the courage to witness that right now.

When you arrive at the fourth floor you signal him which one is your apartment. And even when you are in front of the door, he doesn't put you on the ground. He stands there, waiting patiently, as you search for the key card on your bag and when the door is open he enters with you in his arms. He of course takes his shoes off at the entrance and walks inside.

He doesn't say anything as he sits you over the small couch and sits next to you, his arm touching yours and taking almost all the space around you. His smell is around and you like it.

His face is even closer to yours when he asks, worried, "When were you going to tell me you have panic attacks?"

"I… I don't want to bother anyone with them." You tell the truth. You can't lie to him.

"That's what he told you? That they are a bother?" You simply shrug, not really wanting to answer. "Y/N, I'm not angry or feel like this is a bother. I'm worried, you need help."

"I am going to therapy. I've been going since I'm five, Izuku. I had a handle on them, they weren't recurrent until…"

"Until he left you," he finishes for you, slightly shaking his head and you nod.

Izuku sighs, standing up and you watch him. Is he going away? Is he embarrassed and going away, deciding not to involve or do anything with your broken self?

"Do you mind if I make us both tea?"

You shake your head rapidly in answer. He smiles and walks towards the kitchen. You follow his every move, being a small apartment it's easy to do it.

Izuku is… staying . For tea. He's not leaving. He's not leaving you alone after a panic attack. Like Mineta. But he's your best friend, Mineta has always been there; like you have been there for him even after the war he had to be part of at such a young age and he tried to push you away. Izuku doesn't have that obligation. Izuku… is your friend? Well, that's how you like to think of him since you got to know him this past months. But the category of best friend was not there for him yet. You were just getting to know each other. So, why is he here? Why does he stay?

"It's ready," he suddenly says, sitting back next to you with the two mugs of tea. He gives you one and you accept it a bit startled.

The sudden smell of lemon with honey tea that invades your nose as you bring it closer to drink immediately relaxes you. You smile after taking a sip.

You look back at him and he's watching intently at you, like he's waiting for your reaction.

"You remembered," you say and you really want to cry now.

He smiles, a hand flying to the back of his head to scratch it nervously, "You said it was your favorite."

You did. On a text message, when the topic was favorite drinks . But the fact that he remembered that you said it, it is… overwhelming.

Silence again. On your part it's more relaxed, but you can feel him a bit anxious. You decide to give him space, time to say whatever it is that it's inside his mind.

Until he does.

"You're not the only one… struggling still… with all that happened." He says as he sets his mug on the little coffee table in front of you. It's very small, mostly for decoration. Only space for the two mugs you're using at the moment. Izuku then lays his elbows over his knees, fingers fidgeting in the middle clearly showing his nervousness. "I have nightmares. Very bad ones, since the war. Uraraka used to help a lot, she was always there for me when I needed her."

This is the first time he talks about her this willingly, so you just keep silent and give him the space he needs to say whatever he wants.

"I was finally getting better… and then… she wasn't there anymore…"

"The nightmares came back?" He simply nods. You can't help yourself but to direct your hand towards his shoulder in a form of comfort, which he accepts with a small smile.

"I guess… we are two broken people, trying to pick up the pieces left. Aren't we?"

His eyes shine with tears he refuses to set free, probably also what your own looked like. He smiles sadly at you, before patting your hand that still holds his shoulder.

You both stay in silence for a little while before Izuku breaks the silence again.

"I'm sorry about today. I had…" He sighs. "I had a discussion with a partner."

Partner? You know Izuku doesn't have many partners. One is Hero Shoto, who also is his best friend. You doubt he had a discussion with him, you couldn't actually see Shoto in a heated discussion at all. And the other one is… Oh .

"What did he do now?" You don't even have to mention his name. You and Izuku know who you're talking about.

The green-haired man rolls his eyes. "We have been civil. For the sake of everybody around us. And if I'm being honest, we work well together. In fights, we understand each other perfectly. So we decided to just be professional and not bring up anything that happened."

You know this. Izuku had already told you this once, when he called you on his lunch break to talk to you about a cute little butterfly that he would send you the picture of when he was less busy and you heard Bakugou's voice on the back calling for Izuku. They had been on a mission together.

"Until…" Izuku continues, "Until this morning, when he decided to bring up our Friday morning's coffee."

" What?! " You frown. How did he know? Nobody knew, besides Mineta and probably Shoto on Izuku's side. Nobody else knew… unless…

"Paparazzis discovered us. I don't know how. I'm always careful when meeting you. I take a lot of turns and I disguise myself the best I can so they don't recognize me. But they found out." He sighs, a hand sliding his green and black curls back. "They released an article yesterday. About us."

Izuku takes out his phone, searching for something before showing it to you.

NEWLY BACHELOR, NUMBER ONE PRO HERO DEKU, FOUNDS NEW SWEETHEART?

Yes, my readers, this is apparently what it looks like. A young, pretty lady like this caught the attention of the Symbol of Hope quite fast, if you ask for my humble opinion.

We don't have much information about her, sadly. Only that this lady has our favorite Pro Hero on her clutches... Look at the way he looks at her in the following pictures!

Isn't it cute? Let me be honest, as a fan of Deku myself, I can't avoid feeling a bit heartbroken, but I also think that this man deserves all the happiness anyone can give him. Don't you agree? And after that sudden break up with Pro Hero Uravity that caught everyone by surprise, makes me think… Does this lady have anything to do with it? Did she catch Pro Hero Deku's heart from before, causing the break up? Mmm, so many questions, readers, that we don't have the answers yet! But no mind, we will try our best to find them! Be patient, and in the meantime, show a bit of support for our favorite Number One Hero.

You feel like vomiting. Your picture, clear as day, has never been on the front page of a magazine. Bakugou has always protected his privacy so meticulously, and that included you. The media and his fans knew he had a relationship, but he never let anyone get a glimpse of it.

And here you are now, on the front page of Go-zzip Hero magazine, the picture showing you sitting in front of Izuku in that coffee shop, talking so close to his face it practically looks like you're kissing. Oh, shit . You do that? You actually speak that close to him??

You swallow thickly, looking back up at Izuku.

"I am so sorry, Izuku, I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't know. None of us did. But I'm sorry I wasn't more careful…"

"Don't be silly. This is not your fault."

"Yours either."

You both smile shyly at each other. This is… chaotic. Being involved with him is… OH, SHIT.

"What? What is it?" He asks as he sees your eyes open wide in fear.

"Your fans are gonna kill me..."

"No, they aren't…"

"Yes, they are! Oh my God!" You stand, after putting your mug over the table next to his, a bit wobbly on the legs which makes him react fast to hold you if you fall, but you don't. You start walking one way to the other of your small living room. "I'm so food for the fishes… they are going to kill me!"

Izuku chuckles. "No, they aren't, Y/N…"

"Don't laugh! Yes, they are! Especially after what that journalist said! They even hinted that probably I was the reason you broke up with Uraraka!"

"Which is not true. I'll call my manager and PR team and ask for an interview with the magazine and clarify this. You don't have anything to worry about. Neither does Mineta. I'll clarify that we are just friends…"

That makes you freeze in place, frowning. "Mineta? What does he have to do with this?"

Izuku frowns too, looking confused at you. "Aren't you… Isn't he… Aren't you dating ?"

"WHAT?!" By Izuku's flinching, you realize you raised your tone a bit louder than you intended. "Sorry…Mineta is my best friend, Izuku. He's like a brother to me."

Izuku looks so confused, "But… But you always speak about him. He cooks for you, he is… he is here almost everyday for you, and he did all that stuff to piss off Bakugou for you, like a…"

"Like a brother would." You smile. "I do think that somehow our souls are connected, because I know I could leave apart from anyone, except him . He's that annoying sticky thing you get used to living with and don't want to unstick, because if you do something will miss. Because he's my brother. I wouldn't be able to live without his annoying ass." Izuku laughs with you. You walk back to sitting next to him as silence comes back. Then, you keep talking, "Mineta has been there when I had no one. Even when we were five years old and my parents died in a car accident, provoked by a hero-villain fight." Deku tenses, but keeps his attention on you. "We used to play heroes when we were kids and fantasize about how we were going to be Number One. Both of us, together. And then the accident happened. I was left alone. I didn't have much family around, only my old great-grandma that was barely suitable to raise a child. So I was given to the state. I went to an orphanage."

You don't know why you're baring your soul to Izuku like this. This was a painful, very intimate part of your history nobody knew but Mineta. Not even Bakugou knew. He never insisted for you to tell him. He simply accepted that you were Mineta's best friend, end of sentence. He never questioned anything. Now you wonder if that was a good or a bad thing.

"That's when your panic attacks began?" He asks a bit timidly. You nod.

"It happened that same day, when I was given the news about their deaths. A kind lady had been there with me, explaining what it all meant. She was kind, but she didn't have much experience. Imagine walking into a room as a kid where your parents are lying dead in two stretchers and being told these are your parents and you're not gonna see them anymore ." Izuku flinches again, a chill clearly running down his back. "A few hours later, I had my first panic attack. I lost consciousness for almost an hour. It was the longest one I ever had and doctors were worried not enough oxygen had gone to my brain, considering that even when I woke up I wasn't talking to anyone."

"Until Mineta and Auntie Asiki came to see me at the hospital. The second Mineta lay down next to me in the hospital bed, I started crying, and he held me. We were kids, not knowing anything about life, and he still understood that I needed him. Auntie Asiki offered to bring me home with her and Mineta, but the forms to the orphanage had already been filled and accepted. It would take a lot of money, lawyers and procedures to let her, a single mother, take my custody. And while her heart and intentions were hugely appreciated for even thinking about it, it was impossible."

"I didn't know Mineta's mom was a single mother." Izuku frowns, probably guilting himself about it, because of everything they, as class A, had been through their years at UA.

"He doesn't like speaking about it. He really has to trust you to tell you about it."

Izuku nods, instantly respecting that decision. He then scratches his neck again. 

"So, you and him are not…"

You chuckle. "Not even if he was the last man on Earth." Izuku laughs too.

" Ouch , that wounds me so deep, bun," Mineta's voice is heard from the entrance as he walks inside your apartment.

Shit , you haven't heard him at all. The worry on your face is visible, because you have been talking about him, about his private life, and you hadn't consulted him before. You feel so bad, so worried he'll get mad at you.  

Mineta sees you and simply shrugs, "It's okay, bun, I trust Midoriya." He then winks at you and you feel the worry disappear completely.

"Thank you, Mineta. I promise I won't speak about it to anyone."

"It's okay," Mineta answers Izuku, pulling his thumb up in his direction. You smile watching their interaction. "I'm not here though to have this conversation." Your best friend gets closer to where you are, a worried expression on his face. "I was told you had another one, in the middle of the street.." You sigh, looking down at your hands that lay in your lap. "Was it because of him again?"

You nod and Mineta is the one who sighs this time.

"About Bakugou?" Izuku asks then, frowning.

You nod again. "My therapist is helping, but yes, they appear after I remember something, random things he once had said to me."

"Why it doesn't fucking surprise me…" Izuku barks as he stands from the couch and walks, just like you had moments ago. Mineta opens his eyes wide, watching amused at Izuku's reaction.

"He's such a fucking jerk… But we already knew that, didn't we?" 

Izuku immediately agrees with Mineta.

"I should have punched him harder," Izuku's comment makes you choke on the tea you were about to swallow.

"You what?!" Both you and Mineta speak at the same time. You look worried about the whole situation, the discussion clearly hadn't been a simple one if there had been fists involved. Mineta looks like a kid given the awaited present on his birthday.

"What really happened, Izuku?" You ask, worry clear on your tone.

"He saw the article, clearly. I came back from night patrol and was changing in the locker rooms, the whole night shift was there preparing to go home at the same time the morning shift was getting ready to start their patrols. And he started making comments about you and me, about how I apparently like his leftovers, about how you are a gold digger and now went for me."

"He did not fucking say that!" Mineta stands up, ready to beat some ass, Bakugou's, specifically.

"He did! I couldn't not do anything. I tried to be civil and only told him to stop talking about us, that he didn't know anything. And I told him to stop playing the victim, because he was none. The only victims in this story are you and me," Izuku looks at you like he's assuring you, "They don't have the right to even comment on this." 

"Hell yeah, Midoriya!" Mineta cheers, raising his hand for Izuku to high five him, and the green-haired does, animated. You shake your head trying to hold your smile back. "What did corn-head say then?"

Izuku laughs at Mineta's nickname for Bakugou, bumping his fist again with the man in agreement.

You roll your eyes. Jesus , men are such idiots with nicknames. 

"He then said that… I don't know if I should repeat it…" Izuku and Mineta both look at you, Mineta already intuitively knows.

"He talked… he talked about our sex life, didn't he?" You ask after a minute of silence.

Izuku nods.

"Tell me you did punch him hard though…" Mineta is fuming, you can see the smoke coming out his ears, metaphorically. 

"Of course I did. Twice, before someone pushed me away."

"Well done, man." Mineta high fives Izuku again.

"You shouldn't… you didn't have to…"

"I won't let him or anybody speak about you that way, Y/N. Now that I know all you've been through, I won't even give them a chance to."

You move before you think, again. One second you're seated on the couch, and the next you're hugging Izuku. Arms around his neck strongly, as your face hides in your arm and his shoulder. It takes him a second, but he reacts by hugging back, strong arms surrounding your waist as delicately as he can, but also firm and securely.

You heard Mineta walk out of the living room towards the kitchen to entertain himself with anything.

And you feel… safe . You feel so safe in Izuku's arms, it's so comforting and nice.

You feel him take a deep breath over your head, as if your smell was comforting to him. You like that idea. That at least in something so insignificant like your smell, he finds comfort and peace. Relax and ease.

"Thank you, Izuku," you whisper only for him to listen.

He shakes his head, "You have nothing to thank me for."

"I do, though. Not only for those punches," you say backing away just a bit so you can see his face. He smiles proudly at the mention of the punches. "But because you helped me with my panic attacks… Twice."

"Twice?" He asks confusedly, but you nod.

"The first Friday we went to have a coffee, remember?" He nods, "I was waiting, and because it was my first time out of my apartment without Mineta I was feeling overwhelmed and… and then you appeared at the door. And all I felt was relief… I felt safe with you there, so it stopped even before it began."

You are looking at his eyes, and you can see the emotion in them as you speak. He then rests his forehead on yours and takes a deep breath, clearly pushing his emotion back in so he can speak.

"I'll be there for you… I want to be there for you, if you want me…"

"I want you," you immediately answer, "I want you to be here."

"Then I will."

"I also want to be there for you," you scratch the back of his head softly, as he bites his bottom lip, taking a deep breath. He looks like he's trying to control himself from doing something then and there, and that makes you smile.

"I want you . I want you to be there too." He repeats your exact same words, making you feel tingles all over your body as you feel his fingertips caress lightly, timidly, the bit of skin showing at your waist.

"Then I will."

You feel him moving, his nose caressing yours in a cute manner. Slowly getting closer, lips barely touching and…

"Sorry to be a cockblock, but your phone is ringing, Midoriya."

The bubble is popped , so you both back away, clearing your throats and fixing your clothes out of nervousness.

"Oh, yeah, ummm…" Izuku walks back towards the kitchen to search for his phone. "It's Shoto. He's probably heard already about the fight this morning. I should pick this." You nod, signaling to your room for his privacy and he thanks you as he walks there.

Your eyes follow him until the door is closed, and then they go towards the kitchen, where Mineta is standing, hip against the counter and a bowl of snacks in his hands he found somewhere, eating them slowly as he looks at you accusatory. A knowing smirk in his face.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything… yet."

You roll your eyes. "Spit it out." You walk towards him, picking some of the snacks on the bowl and eating.

"I have nothing to say, Y/N."

That's impossible, he always has something to say. 

"Or should I call you Ms. Midoriya from now on?" 

Ah, there it is.

You punch him in the arm and he laughs out loud.

PART I - PART II - PART III

[peaterookie]

Lupin Week 2024 Day 4: AUs and Mythology

Goemon's face looks like he's seen a ghost.

ahhhh god ok my stupid stupid silly au i made a year ago.... this will be a bit long so get ready

tldr: lupin died, the gang is alive. goemon finds lupin but he's a shark merman!? and lupin remembers nothing!!!

long version:

so this AU follows upon the story of shin lupin, which basically, the gang gets killed off by zenigata because he rigged an island full of explosives.

instead of them all dying however, lupin decides to knock the gang unconscious and find a way for them to escape off the island safely, leaving only him in the island to die.

the rest of the gang had no idea how they escaped and assumed that lupin had sacrificed himself for them. they woke up adrifted on the ocean until they eventually got picked up by a ship where the invisible captain from new adventures returns. but ah ill spare the details for another day

---

2 years have passed and the gang just kinda separated to do their own thing. we'll only focus on goemon cuz he's the featured character of this comic.

goemon decided to escape the life of crime that has burdened him for years living as a part of the lupgang. he's mostly a wanderer now and tries to do good and help people along the way

funnily enough, goemon is not the first person to find lupin, but I'll talk about this later. but goemon is definitely very mixed about seeing his friend who he thought was dead for years. he doesn't know whether to be happy or worried.

---

lupin, at the brink of death after the explosion, plummets down the ocean and wakes up one day, feeling like he's been rebirthed!

essentially, lupin became a merman because right before he could die, his body (i mean what's left of it 💀) interacted with a magic crystal that has the ability to grant life to a living being.

It's really rare, but it exists in clusters deep in the ocean floor or- deep under the rocks of an island :) you can say im bullshitting, which i am but i dont think exploding an entire island down to every rock has happened before, so it can kinda make sense why something so coincidental about these crystals could happen. (I AM TOTALLY MAKING EXCUSES I JUST WANTED TO MAKE LUPIN A MERMAN.)

and so these crystals used whats left of lupins body and reassembled him back, and idk other essences of the ocean to make him a merman!

the memories of his past life have definitely been buried deep inside his brain to the point he can't remember any of it though, so he thinks that he was born under the ocean and has lived there for his entire life. other than that he retains almost everything about himself, down to stealing stupid shit and messing with humans just for the fucks of it. he's kinda seen as like a nessie.

---

anyways, y'know how i said goemon wasn't the first one to meet lupin? that's because lupin has met zenigata before!

living a life with only fishes around means lupin's kinda lonely and likes to stalk humans sometimes. the interaction with him and zenigata did not end well though, and lupin has no idea why zeni wants him dead so much.

after that he's way more cautious around people that look like zenigata- hatted big men with guns. its gonna be fun once he sees jigen.

ok what else... i think that's all i want to reveal now. will i do more of this? maybe. maybe not. kinda embarrassed of this because of how silly it is but i hope you people find this interesting! byebye

[lucysarah-c]

Hi! Happy new years eve ✨🥂 hope you had an awesome 2023 and all my best wishes and blessings for 2024 🫶🏼

Now, I can’t get this idea out of my head. Levi adopting a kitten with his girl. I always thought of Levi like a cat person, idk he just seem to fit on it. And as a cat person myself I would love to read something about it.

I can imagine him thinking is a bad idea but then he cant go anywhere in the house without the kitty 🫶🏼 so adorable I guess

Ahhh happy new year!! Thank you for all your well wishes and sending them back to you! I'm sorry it took me this long to write this for you sweetie! T-T so sorry

It started in the least expected way. Levi and his group of friends had been trying to find new ways to spend time together in their difficult adult lives. They wanted to revisit certain activities they used to enjoy in their glory college days and bond a little. You, of course, didn’t complain. If Levi decided to go camping with his friends or hiking on any weekend, it was also a chance for you to hang out with your friends at home, maybe watch a movie he doesn’t like, and have a “me” afternoon. It was all positive until Levi began to notice something during their hangouts.

Dogs.

All of them, particularly Mike and Erwin, had their own respective big, fluffy, loyal-to-death dogs that they would take with them on hikes, jogs, or even camping trips. You could see from the look in your boyfriend's eyes that he was envious. The only reason you and Levi hadn’t adopted any pets before wasn’t because of you in particular. You grew up with pets, loved them, and felt that the house was missing something without a fluffy companion. And don’t get me wrong, Levi had always had a soft spot for animals. But, in his own words, “As a kid, my family could never afford one… and Kenny hated them so.”

When you two moved in together, he didn’t want any pets due to "too much hair, too much mess, and too much money spent on the vet." But now, you could see in his eyes that he desired one, especially when they took pictures with his friends' dogs, and Levi hardly ever took pictures himself. Sooner or later, you brought up the idea, and he seemed excited. You quickly guessed that he wasn’t going to be the one to suggest it since perhaps his pride stopped him from admitting that now all the previous reasons he had given you to say no weren’t that important.

One lazy Saturday, you were walking past the doors of a shelter. Both of you admitted that if you were going to get a pet, it would be a rescue, giving the chance for an animal to live the American dream (two adults with good salaries, a pretty house, and no kids) after someone had made them believe they were trash. Both of you talked to the receptionist, who said that soon she would walk both of you to the dog’s department to choose. But when the guide came back and you were ready to go in and check out the puppies with your boyfriend, he was nowhere to be found.

Quickly, you followed the sound of people talking, and there he was, talking to a vet at the cat’s side of the shelter. The vet seemed to be deeply engrossed in conversation with him as you reached his side.

“Lev? Love, they are waiting to show us the dogs,” you called to him before smiling softly at the vet, acknowledging their presence.

“Oh, I was just telling him that she never gets close to anyone, not even to us. It was almost magical seeing her trying to reach out to him,” the vet said, and you quickly concluded it was the cat that was rubbing the top of her head against the front of her cage, trying to reach Levi.

“Aww, poor thing,” you said as you bent down slightly to have a better look at her face and perhaps give the cat some love through the small space of the bars. But the cat quickly moved away from your touch and softly hissed.

It hurt you, despite knowing that all cats have their temperament, until the vet spoke again, “Oh, she has always been a little grumpy; she’s not a fan of people.”

Levi also bent down to the cat's level, and he seemed to be the chosen one because the cat was continuously bumping her head against the cage, seeking more love from him. “Well, that makes two of us,” he commented, admitting his antisocial tendencies.

“When we found her, we thought she was feral because of the damage from living on the streets and her attitude, but we found she was chipped. We contacted the owner, but he said that since she couldn’t have more kittens, they left her in the streets,” both of you slightly raised to look at the shelter’s owner with heartbroken faces. “She’s been here for a while, but nobody wants her because she’s old, grumpy, and because of all the pregnancies she had, she has FIV, which is an expensive treatment an-”

“I’m taking her,” Levi interrupted the vet without a second thought, and you were about to comment that the plan was to get a dog, nothing against taking the little cat.

“Are you sure? It’s a lot of responsibility, and she’s rather old,” the vet warned.

“I’m sure. What do I have to do to take her home?” Levi replied with confidence.

That’s how Chai Tea, or just Chai, came into your life. She was a grumpy old lady, but you two loved her to death, especially Levi. She seemed to be a golden brownish Persian, which made sense given her breeding history, but one of her ears was damaged from living on the streets, giving her a permanently angry face. The first sign of her enjoying being a spoiled princess was during her first visit to the vet after her adoption, when the instructions were to reduce her food rations because she was already a bit too chubby.

“Shhh, don’t listen to the vet. You’re perfect,” you heard Levi whispering as he rocked her in his arms in the kitchen. “Here, have some ham.”

She was obsessed with him, and he was obsessed with her. Did Levi complain about the hair? A lot, but at least he took the effort to vacuum and brush her himself. In his own words, “If I can make her life worth it for even a little bit at the end of it, then I’ll do it.”

It was endearing to receive a text message from Levi saying "On my way home," and then witness the little fluffy ball rushing down the hallway with her short legs once you tell her "Chai! Daddy is coming home!"

It was incredibly cute how she would meow all the way to the front door, occasionally looking back at you to make sure both of you were going to greet him.

It’s rather funny how he went to a shelter to get a big dog for his "bro's" adventures and came back with a cat that demanded to be picked up and rocked in his arms while he prepared dinner. Even funnier is how he accepted it. Now your camera phone is full of pictures and videos of Levi humming lullabies, sleeping with a cat on top of him, or holding her up in the air so she can hunt a moth.

A little bit jealous? Perhaps. Sometimes, Levi seems more eager to greet the fluffy cat when he gets home than he is to greet you. But being able to give an elderly cat a second chance was a better experience than anything else.

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[captainsophiestark]

Epiphany

Javi Rivera x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: Twisters

Day Two Prompt: "It's been a long time."

Summary: Javi's job bring him back into the same town as a sort-of-ex, but if he wants a chance at rekindling anything, he's going to have to answer for his decision to work for Riggs.

Word Count: 3,189

Category: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Happy spooky season everyone!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I grinned as I lined up my shot on the dartboard ahead of me, ignoring the heckling of my friends and a few new competitors we'd met at the bar. I was the undefeated champ at darts, both tonight and in general, and I hadn't gotten here by letting people get in my head.

I let out a breath, completely focused on the center ring, and sent the dart flying in one smooth motion.

Bullseye. As planned.

I turned to my friends with a grin, enjoying their chorus of groans. While I wasn't completely undefeated for all time, I was undefeated tonight, and I was frankly having the time of my life.

"Okay, there's got to be somebody in this bar who can beat you," teased one of my friends, throwing an arm over my shoulder and turning to scan the rest of the patrons who hadn't been roped into our competition yet.

"I bet I could give it a shot."

I turned at the sound of the voice to see a man I hadn't seen in years.

Javi Rivera and I had met while we were both studying at Muskogee State College almost six years ago. We'd hit it off, going quickly from friends to dating, and after only a couple months, I'd started to be able to see a future with him. And then, three of his friends died in a tornado while they were trying to test their PhD project and secure grant funding.

I'd done my best to be there for Javi, but we'd pretty quickly realized he needed some space--from chasing, from school, from Oklahoma. From everything. Including me.

It sucked to say goodbye to someone I loved, but at the same time, I got it. We'd parted on pretty good terms, deciding for both our hearts it would be best for the break to be clean. I'd thought about him a thousand times since then, clean break or no, but I hadn't seen him once. Now, he was standing before me in the dive bar just outside my hometown, apparently challenging me to darts.

"...Javi?" I managed, a smile tugging at my face despite the shock and disbelief. He grinned back at me, holding his arms out but not making any move to close the distance.

"Hey. It's good to see you."

I grinned, quickly closing the rest of the space between us to wrap Javi in a hug.

"It's good to see you too! What are you doing here? ...How are you doing?"

He stepped back with a smaller smile on his own face, running a hand through his hair before he met my eyes again.

"Better. A lot better than the last time you saw me, actually. I'm working with a team that's researching tornados, trying to get better data to better understand them and hopefully make everybody safer as a result. My team's just passing through the area on our way to chase a some big cells developing further West, and we're staying in town for the night. I was really hoping I'd find you here."

"You know, I do have a phone. And I haven't changed my number."

He grinned. "That was going to be Plan C, if Plan A of finding you here and Plan B of finding you at another bar didn't work out."

I just shook my head and laughed.

"You know, there's a lot I could say about that, but I think instead I'm gonna settle for kicking your ass in darts."

"Oh, bring it on. I was watching you, I think you've lost your edge since the last time I saw you. And I can tell you right now, I haven't. I've only gotten better."

"Sure you have, Rivera. Come on, put your money where your mouth is. You start us off."

"If you insist."

Javi leaned in close, hitting me with a charming smile as he took his half of the darts out of my hand, taking his time and letting his fingers linger over mine. For a split second, it was like I was back in grad school again, spending weekends blowing off steam and occasionally working on our project from the back table of a bar. Then, he pulled back, turning his attention to the dartboard again.

"Loser buys drinks," he called as he drew his arm back, then let the dart fly. He hit an 18, but not on any of the score-multiplying rings. I grinned.

"You're on."

****************

Javi and I spent most of the rest of the night together, trading blows in darts and just catching up with each other again. To my delight, it had been like no time had passed since we'd last seen each other. We immediately fell back into the same happy, comfortable routine we'd had for years, and my heart did a happy little flip in my chest every time Javi leaned into me with the smile I loved so much.

We stayed out at the bar together long after my friends had left, hovering at a back table together until they kicked us out. Javi had walked to the bar from his hotel, so I gave him a ride back, the two of us lingering as clearly neither of us wanted to leave. When Javi finally hopped out of the car, it was only after we'd made plans to get together the next day, depending on the tornado situation.

Luckily for Javi and I, the forecast the following morning looked very calm. Javi texted me early, and we made plans to get together for lunch. I was practically walking on air as I drove into town, parking and hopping out to wait for Javi before heading inside. I didn't want to get too far ahead of myself, but having Javi back in my life even for these twelve hours or so had been amazing. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and frankly, I didn't want to.

Unfortunately, my happy little bubble got momentarily popped by a Storm Par truck pulling into the lot. I frowned and narrowed my eyes. They'd shown up in the area recently, swooping in like vultures and taking advantage of tragedy in the community to make a profit. If they were heading into the restaurant for lunch, Javi and I might need to find somewhere more peaceful to hang out.

I glowered at the truck, trying to project as much malice and disapproval as possible. Then the door popped open, and my heart stopped in my chest.

Javi climbed out of the driver's seat. He had on a Storm Par button down. He grinned and waved at me as soon as he saw me, but I couldn't do more than stare back. What the fuck was he doing?

"Hey! Sorry I'm a little late, I had a meeting this morning-"

"With Riggs?"

The words slipped out before I could stop them. Javi stuttered a step, the smile on his face dimming a little as I crossed my arms. He came to a stop in front of me.

"I... what?"

"I think that's my line, Javi. What the hell are you doing? Why are you showing up here in Storm Par shit?"

"I told you I was chasing again-"

"You told me you were here researching tornados! Not conning grieving people out of their family homes!"

Javi took a step back, blinking like I'd physically slapped him across the face. I huffed, trying to get a hold of myself. I'd been almost shouting by the end of my speech, and I really didn't want to throw a scene in front of the restaurant.

"Listen, I get why you're mad," Javi started, holding up his hands like a peace offering. "But Riggs is funding research that's going to allow us to better understand how, why, and when tornados form, which will save lives. We're on our way to the most complete understanding of a tornado ever, and we never would've gotten here without Riggs investing and getting us this tech."

I'd started shaking my head after the second sentence, getting faster and faster until Javi finished speaking. I huffed a disbelieving laugh and took a half-step back towards my car.

"There are other ways to get grant money, Javi. Ways that don't include Riggs."

"Yeah, just ways that include risking everything going into an EF5 that got almost all of my best friends killed."

I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. It had been a dream come true when Javi walked into the bar last night, but this was quickly turning into a nightmare. Hurt, anger, saddness, and disappointment formed their own little tornado in my chest, and I barely managed to keep my voice level as I met Javi's eyes again.

"I know what you went through when you lost your friends. I understand why you're making the choices you're making. But you know as well as I do that Riggs is taking advantage of people, actively hurting people in this community, and that all the data you bring him with your research is just going to make it easier for him to swoop in looking to make a profit after disasters, not bringing help before them."

"That's not what we're doing-"

"You might be able to convince yourself of that while you're riding around in your stupid trucks, but unlike you, I was born and raised here, and I never left. I know what's happening, I know the reputation your sponsor has earned for you, and frankly Javi? I want nothing to do with it. Any of it."

Javi huffed in surprise, then scowled.

"I take it to mean that includes me?"

I nodded, slowly at first, then faster and more confidently as I took a few more steps back.

"As long as you're going to keep enabling the vultures? Yeah, that does include you."

He huffed again, a humorless laugh, as he shook his head and shuffled around like he couldn't figure out how to react. It felt like a knife to my heart, but I didn't let myself hesitate before turning around and heading back to my car. I'd sat and cried with neighbors in the wake of tornados, trying to salvage anything we could in the wreckage, before polished looking guys in suits came in and way underpaid for properties, then left without lifting a finger to help a single living thing in the devastated area. If Javi was willing to be a part of that, then he was nothing like the man I'd known and loved before.

****************

I sighed, dropping an armful of books on the kitchen table. I still had a few things to bring up from the storm shelter, but I couldn't stop myself from sinking into the nearest chair. It had been a long few days.

Less than 48 hours after Javi and I had our fight, one of the worst tornados of the year had touched down much too close for comfort. It had done some significant damage to the next town over, although not nearly as bad as it could've been. Exactly what had happened was still a little unclear, but it had been a long time since one had come that close to me. I hadn't been expecting it to affect me, but my knees were actually feeling a little weak.

I took a few moment to focus on breathing deeply, then rallied myself to move the last of my supplies out of the storm shelter. I'd just made it to my feet again when a knock came at the door.

I sighed and honestly debated pretending I wasn't home. But, most likely, it was a neighbor coming to check in or share news from the tornado. I didn't want them to worry, and I probably wouldn't get away with pretending not to be here.

I made it to the door just after another knock came, slightly louder this time. I swung open the door without looking outside first, then froze halfway through the motion when I found Javi staring at me, standing on my doorstep with a six pack of beer held loosely in one hand.

"Thank god you answered. Listen, I'm sorry. You were right. Kate was right. Storm Par... Riggs..." he shook his head, apparently at a loss for words. His hair and clothes were a mess, back to the Javi I'd known in grad school instead of the perfectly-pressed Storm Par rep I'd seen a few days ago. More than just that, though, he looked frazzled. Offbalance, in a way I'd never seen before.

"Javi... are you okay?"

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

"Did you hear about the big one?"

"...The tornado that just hit?" He nodded. "Yeah. I've only heard bits and pieces outside of the siren, but yeah. What happened? Is everybody... you said Kate's name earlier."

He quickly reassured me, getting halfway through reaching for my hand before pulling himself back.

"Kate's fine. I convinced her to come out here and help with research, but she almost-" Javi stopped short, closing his eyes for a long, long moment. I frowned, briefly considering what to do next, but it didn't take me long to reach a decision. Javi seemed to be implying he'd ditched Storm Par, but even if he hadn't, I still cared about him. And he clearly needed somebody right now.

"Javi. Why don't you come inside and sit down? Take a breath for a minute?"

He nodded, opening his eyes again and taking a slow, deep breath.

"Thanks."

"Sure thing."

I held the door open, and Javi didn't need me to show him where to go. We'd spent a good part of our relationship hanging out in this house, and it hadn't changed much since then. I followed Javi, letting him decide where he wanted to settle. Eventually, we ended up on the back porch, Javi settling into the bench swing where we'd watched more sunsets than I could count. He set the six pack down by his feet, and after a moment's consideration, I sat down next to him.

Javi didn't look at me as I joined him, his stare still a thousand yards out on the sun that had just started to approach the horizon. I gave him a few moments, then gently reached out to take his hand. His attention immediately snapped to me, his eyes wide with surprise. I gave him a soft smile.

"How long as it been since we spent an evening sitting out here?"

He huffed a laugh. "It's been a long time."

We shared a little smile, then after a moment, I sighed. Javi seemed calmer, at least slightly, and now I needed some answers.

"So... you wanna tell me what brought you here?"

"I came to apologize. You were right about Riggs, and about what's important. I want to be helping people, and it's a long story, but it became clear in the last few hours that I can't do that as long as I'm working with Riggs. I just wish I'd been able to figure it out earlier."

Javi shifted, taking my hand in his and shuffling a little closer to me. The apology was sweet, and I'd missed having moments like this with Javi, but his answer still had a lot of holes.

"I'm glad to hear you're done with Riggs- I mean, I'm assuming that's what you're saying?"

"Yes. Very much yes."

I smiled. "Okay. But maybe you should start a little further back on explaining what happened between now and the last time I saw you. Starting with why you failed to tell me Kate was in town."

"...In my defense, I was planning to tell you at lunch."

I couldn't hold back a snort.

"Fine. Depending on how good the rest of your explanation is, you get a pass on that."

Javi laughed. "Good. Alright, let me think about this..."

It took a while, but eventually Javi managed to walk me through his whole story. It was the serious catchup we'd been planning to have over lunch, but with the added beneift of a private moment together in one of our old favorite places. A lot had happened since Kate had come to town, and she'd had the same kind of fight with Javi as I had, but he'd come around and stepped up when it mattered.

"So, now we're done with Riggs. We're working on a pitch for investors back East right now, actually. Kate's going to present what we've got so far, and hopefully we'll have ethical funding for helping people and nothing else by the end of next month."

I smiled, leaning into Javi. The sky was red from the sunset now, and we'd been holding hands the whole time. Even though we'd gone years without really talking, right now, it felt like nothing had changed.

"I'm glad to hear it, Javi. And I'm so, so glad you're okay."

"Yeah, me too. It was dicey there for a minute, but we're on the other side now."

I leaned a little further into Javi, and after a moment, he raised one arm and stretched it around my shoulders. I sighed.

"You know..." Javi started. He paused and cleared his throat, then shifted a little on the bench before continuing. "Kate and I could actually use some help working on those grant proposals, and maybe some of our future presentations. I know you've always been happy to do your own thing, but... we'd love to have your help if you want to come back to spending more time with us. I would love that."

I leaned back to look Javi in the eye, and I couldn't keep a gigantic smile off my face for even a second.

"Honestly Javi? I would love that. Both to be part of helping you guys finish what you started, helping our community, and... for you. I missed you a lot."

"I missed you too. So much. And I know I'm the one who left, but if you'd be willing to give us another shot... I'll be around for the long haul."

 My heart did a backflip in my chest, and the beaming smile on my face mirrored the feeling.

"I would really love that Javi."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, good." He smiled back at me, then started leaning in before stopping short. "Can I kiss you?"

"Absolutely you can."

He grinned, then the two of us closed the distance as one, Javi's hand going to my waist as I tangled one in his hair. It felt right, and we both smiled into the kiss.

"No pressure if this is a little fast," I said, pulling back from Javi just enough to speak, "but... would you like to stay the night tonight?"

"You know I've stayed the night before, right? Regularly. I don't know if it can count as too fast if we've already done it a million times."

"Fair point. So what do you say?"

"I'd love to." He leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on my neck and then moving slowly up towards my ear. One of his hands moved to my thigh as he whispered: "I've got a lot to catch you up on if you're going to start writing grant proposals for us. I think we've got an all-nighter coming on."

I laughed, pulling back and swatting at Javi's arm. He just grinned.

"Okay, I'm officially banning work talk until tomorrow morning."

"Honestly, you don't have to tell me twice."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Twisters Taglist: @turtlee-says-rawr

[bloodstainedsaint]

thank you thank you thank yooou!! And I don’t mind waiting for good stuff 🤷‍♀️

Okay so my idea kinda was in episode 7 when George and Lipton is in the same foxhole. So they get “hit” by the dud but the reader is so scared something actually happened to George, so she is running towards their foxhole and George is screaming for her to stay put cuz he’s okay and then she gets hit….or almost…I mean something tragic. I wanna bawl my eyes out.

And of course…feel free to not do it, if you think it sucks🧡 Love your stuff and have a good day !

louder than bombs (george luz x reader)

word count: 1800+

warnings: blood, gore, death, angst (w happy ending), bff! roe, mutual pining, i hint at both renée x roe AND baberoe

notes: used some hcs from this (shameless self-plug), and happy new year to all! i hope that 2024 is your year :)

“So, you and Luz, huh?”

Despite Lieutenant Dike’s request not to (like you'd listen to a coward like him anyway, even if he did have a good point), you and Eugene were sharing a foxhole — one a few meters behind where Skip, Penk, Don, and Luz were standing around in a circle, joking and laughing.

Taking your eyes off the man in question — you'd been staring at him from afar for too long, anyway — you turned to Eugene with a befuddled expression. “What do you mean, ‘You and Luz?’”

He took one look at your face and chuckled around the cigarette in his mouth. “It can mean whatever you want it to mean.”

“You say that as if we’re together or something, Gene,” you scoffed and held yourself tighter for warmth.

“Practically. Seen yourself lately? You blush and smile whenever he talks to you.”

Spluttering in response, you could feel your ears going red. “Well, Bayou, what if I’m blushing because it's zero degrees out here? And what if he’s just a funny guy in general?”

Eugene glanced over to the group of men, and, as if on cue, they were cracking up at George’s impression of the chickenshit lieutenant. “He’s a good match for you, (Y/N).”

“Oh, I'm so glad you approve,” you said, rolling your eyes at your friend. “Gonna read our wedding rites now?”

He put out his cigarette. “He makes you laugh. We could all use some of that.”

You inspected the faraway look in Eugene’s eyes, and you knew he was right. The fatal accident with the goddamned Luger that killed Hoobler recently, the barrage earlier today that sent both Joe Toye and Bill home with missing right legs, the overall misery of this frozen hell. You’d all seen your fair share of blood and open flesh; the company needed the beam of light that was George Luz.

Watching Luz as he was pulled aside by Lipton, you exhaled, nodded, and huddled a little closer to Eugene. “Yeah. Yeah, you're right.” After a few quiet, thoughtful moments, a small smile creeped back up on your face when you thought of something to bring up the mood again.

“You never heard me teasing you about Renée,” you muttered beneath your breath, loud enough for him to hear and correct you on because you had teased him about the Belgian nurse. Before he could, you pushed on, your grin growing, “Hey, what about you and Babe, huh?”

Now it was his turn to turn to you shocked. Your snickering was interrupted by the roaring, deafening sound of a bombardment shredding trees around you.

“Shit!” you cursed, the night sky lighting up with fireworks of yellow and white. Snow and dirt erupted from the ground like spurts of lava from a volcano. Through the ringing in your ears, you heard bellows of “Incoming!” and other indistinct cries.

Turning to the man next to you, you shouted above the din, “Eugene, you alright?”

“Fine,” he shouted back as he clutched his helmet tight to his head. “You?”

“Fine,” you echoed with a nod, though maybe your head had moved on its own with the shaking ground beneath you. You strained your ears to single out cries for a medic; you didn't catch any, and you weren't sure if that was because no one had gotten hurt yet or because they were dead within an instant.

You peeped over the edge of your foxhole. In the flashes of light, you could make out amongst the silhouette of wrecked trees George hurriedly crawling on the ground towards a foxhole with two soldiers in it, yelling for him to come on. If your hearing wasn't failing you, you recognized their voices as Skip and Penk.

“What d’ya see?” Eugene poked his head out of the foxhole.

Your voice was strangled in your throat as you helplessly watched George inch his way toward cover. “I—” you started, before a shell directly hit the two men in the middle of their calls. Frantically, you backed into your foxhole. “Skip and Penk, they’re…”

“What?” Eugene shouted, and you realized you had only murmured it.

“Muck and Penkala got hit!” you cried. The look you gave Eugene told him that there would be no saving them.

You got back up to peek over your foxhole and saw that Luz had vanished. Your heart sank in your chest, right down to the pits of your stomach.

Before your mind could register what was going on, your feet lifted you up and out of the foxhole. You could faintly hear Eugene yelling at you to come back, (Y/N), what the hell are you doing? You hit the ground at the same time a shell did just meters away from you, showering you in debris. Yet, you felt distant from the thought of danger or bodily harm, your raw instinct on overdrive; the only thing that was running through your mind as you dashed through the devastated forest was if George was okay.

Eyes flitting around, you caught a glimpse of him getting into a foxhole with Lip. As waves of relief washed over you, you jumped into a foxhole a distance behind them. A shell impacted nearby and swept the fallen trees acting as their cover towards you. You pulled your knees close to your chest and covered your head, staying like that as the barrage kept up.

Then, for just a second, it was silent. Closing your eyes, you caught your breath. A whistling sound ceased the brief respite, and you peered over just in time to see smoke coming from George and Lipton’s foxhole. Your mind disconnected itself from your body once again; it felt like you were moving in slow motion as your feet took you to them. That smoke clouded your senses, your thoughts — all you could see and hear were the vivid memories of Hoobler’s wound gushing blood and his dull eyes closing shut for the last time; you treating Bill’s still twitching leg while Toye’s shredded one was being bandaged by Eugene only feet away; and Muck and Penkala’s foxhole going up in a spray of dirt and a show of light, abruptly cutting off their shouting.

What were you going to see when you arrived at their foxhole? Bloodstained snow? Mangled limbs? Ruined corpses? Even the thought made you want to sob.

Your heart thundered in your ear, louder than any bombs or artillery the Germans could send at you, but you could vaguely discern George’s voice in your trance.

“Damn it, am I yelling medic? Stay right fucking there, (Y/N)!”

Right as you were shaken out of your own head, your eyes focusing on the two unharmed men as they yelled for you to stay put, a shell hit a tree hardly an arm’s length away from you. The burst launched you backwards, lodging shrapnel into your face and all over your body.

You let your eyes flutter closed as the screaming started.

-

“(Y/N)!” George bawled, witnessing the last shell of the bombardment blast the tree right next to you.

“George, get down!” Lip pushed George down into the foxhole from where he'd been peeking over to helplessly watch your unsteady advance.

George couldn't get the image of you shielding yourself at the last second out of his head. He broke free from Lipton and crawled out of his foxhole to your unmoving figure, relieved to find that you were still breathing out clouds of vapor, albeit unevenly. Your right cheek was cut and bleeding, as well as your arms, legs, torso — hell, was there anywhere you weren’t bleeding from?

He cradled your head to his, whispering that it's gonna be alright and you’re gonna be just dandy, (Y/N), even though he didn't believe those words himself. He lifted his head from yours and yelled for a medic with a hoarse voice, already scratched up from having to shout over the booming to tell Lipton that Muck and Penkala got hit.

George then realized that he had gotten extremely lucky that day; Muck and Penkala had been shelled just before he reached their foxhole, and the shell that had landed next to him and Lipton was a dud. Staring down at your bloodied form, he darkly concluded that maybe he wasn't lucky — maybe he just brought bad luck to everyone else.

Eugene seemed to materialize out of thin air at the panicked calls for a doctor and kneeled over you, ordering, “Set ‘em down, set ‘em down!” George laid you down on the icy ground, and he saw that your eyes were open now, darting around at your surroundings. You looked frightened and pained, yet when your eyes finally settled on him, you seemed somewhat at ease.

“Jesus, what did I tell you, (Y/N)?” Eugene reprimanded, but the concern in his voice was evident. He began picking out the shrapnel from your flesh, and you wailed out in agony. Ripping open a sulfa packet with his teeth, he then shook the powder onto your countless wounds.

In the back of his mind, George knew that your pained whimpers would haunt him forever if you didn't pull through, acting as the price of his "good luck".

“Told me to come back, Genie,” you smiled mirthlessly, which quickly became a wince with the gash in your cheek. The white medic band around your arm was stained the same color as the red cross on it.

Lipton was out of the foxhole at this point and assisting Eugene with bandaging your injuries. “You’ll be fine, alright? Just hang in there.”

George registered that he had only been staring, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. He intertwined his fingers with yours and squeezed your clammy hand, to which you weakly squeezed back.

Grimacing while he injected you with morphine, Eugene said to Lipton, “They’re bleeding bad, Sarge; we gotta get ‘em back to an aid station.”

George’s voice sounded far off from himself. “I’ll radio for a jeep.” As he did so, his hand still clutching yours, he couldn't tear his eyes away from the excruciation on your face. For some reason, he felt guilty.

Though it felt like years to him, the jeep arrived shortly, and the three of them carried you to the stretcher on the hood of the vehicle and gingerly placed you upon it.

Gazing down upon you on that stretcher, your face streaked with crimson, your hair matted with dried blood, George wanted to say, “I still find you beautiful, Bloody Mary," but for what felt like first time in his life, the words weren't there and the wiseass comment just refused to come out right.

What came tumbling out of his lips instead was, “I love you.”

Pausing, Lipton and Eugene exchanged a knowing look and watched with bated breath. Meanwhile, George wanted to smack himself for letting the adrenaline coursing through his veins get to him; this was definitely not what you wanted to hear — rejecting him should be the least of your worries right now.

To his utter disbelief, you smiled, in spite of yourself and the grim circumstances. “I love you too, George.”

Once his brain wrapped around the fact that you needed him as much as he needed you, he implored, "Come back to me, alright?” He gently caressed your cheek, his voice sounding different to himself with the undertone of desperation. “I—I’ll be right here waiting for you.”

You placed a feeble hand over his and turned to press a kiss to it. “I'm counting on it.”

The driver finally grew tired of the delay and urged them to get moving. George stepped away as Eugene hopped in the jeep’s shotgun seat to escort you back to the aid station.

Lighting a cigarette with trembling hands, George watched the jeep dissipate into the blanket of night.

-

Eugene let things sink in for a while; you were grateful for the time to rest as the morphine kicked in. When you arrived, though, you were awake enough to hear him ask again, a rare smirk hidden in his voice:

“So, you and Luz, huh?”

-

taglist: @mads-weasley, @ronsparky, @dcyllom, @malarkgirlypop, @joetoyesbrassknuckles101, @samwinchesterslostshoe, @fxxiva

[sgiandubh]

@outlanderskin :"For those who have doubts: just research a little about Caitríona's dating history. See how she treated Dave and James and how she talked about them in interviews. See how she wrote about the Irish boyfriend she had in Paris in that article. Compare all of this to the impersonal way she treats or talks about Tony. Bingo🙃"

Good point 👌

Dear Good Point Anon,

You know, it's really serendipitous, as I have just finished a weeklong deep dive in very, very old press articles on (or at least mentioning) S and C, who clearly had a life before OL, thinking it would be nice to put some of my archive work skills to good service.

I think @outlanderskin was referring to C's New York Times article I reviewed and analyzed last summer, but I just found way better: a very long report in the Irish Independent's Sunday issue of July 11, 2004, focused on the next generation of Irish supermodels. Of which there could be only one, at that time: C, who dominates Roxanne Parker's 'Through Thick and Thin".

I am sorry, there is no link available to my knowledge, so we'll have to work with these very poor xerox scans:

I took the liberty of generously using my dreaded highlighter and, for the people who need to translate this post with Google, I am now taking my time to type what I find damn interesting in this almost twenty-year old article:

'If Ireland ever has a hope of having its own supermodel, then Caitriona Balfe is it. Sitting in the Pink Pony Café on Ludlow Street in New York, Caitriona swirls a wad of bread into her carrot and coriander soup while informing me that her musician boyfriend just brought her a breakfast-in-bed of cream eclairs and coffee a little over an hour ago. But that doesn't stop Caitriona from finishing her lunch and chasing it with a large cocoa-dusted cappuccino. Ebony-tressed and ivory-skinned, Caitriona clip-clops down the cobbled street after we leave the cafe, heading towards her apartment in Chinatown with Dave Mailone (sic!), the boyfriend, in tow.'

This reads, in 2024, like an interview with a more benevolent C clone from a totally different planet, indeed. A young, carefree, in love and hysterically funny C, who apparently had no problem heavily dishing out happy tidbits of her private life to her home country's press. A C also very much reminiscing anyone with a brain of the 2013-2018 bantering C, as this quote shows:

Again, you'll have to indulge me retyping it, Anon (tedious, I know - but helpful). She is remembering her real breakthrough, in November 2002, at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, in New York:

That was the most I've ever been paid for a show. I've got 18,000 euros for one day's work! They made me get a spray tan before the show, and I was still the whitest and the least well-endowed girl in the entire show! So what did she have to wear on the big day? `Not a whole lot! I think I described my outfit on the day as something Wilma Flintstone would wear on her honeymoon night. There wasn't a whole lot to it and it had bits of fur hanging off it.'

And, for good measure, we even have a (admittedly, awful) picture with the season's fiancé, with whom things did not end well:

I know, it looks like a Pravda pic, circa 1957 and I am honestly sorry. But it's still very clear. And, which is more important, very eloquent.

Anon and reader, you draw your own conclusions on this. I know where I stand. The only guy C has similar pics taken with and released in the press or on social media is the peasant some love to bash every single day in here. Their problem, not mine.

Yes, of course Mordor will yell and hiss. Of course they will throw rotten tomatoes at the blunt knife and scream THIS IS OLD. But hey, do you have any better than this poor (but oh, so endearingly authentic) picture or than any given S&C pic before the fucking EFH and IFH, when she gradually started to turn into today's Reclusive, Restrained and Rarefied Greta Garbo wannabe?

Oh, and please: don't give me the 'he's shy' or the paperwork crap again. Her public persona has drastically changed, and not for the better. It's plain to see and there are reasons for this.

Who's to blame? This question is so wrong, in so many ways.

The question should be 'what's to blame?'

I'll stop here, Anon and I hope it was somewhat useful. Thank you for dropping by.

[kellodrawsalot]

Since the year is almost over, I wanted to do a thank you for great animated series and movies I have this year, and good reccs

last time i did this was almost 2 years ago haaa

Thank you for amazing us again -Across the Spiderverse part 1-

Thank you for teaching us to question the system -Nimona-

Thank you for bringing us something new with the old

-Scott Pilgrim Takes Off-

Thank you for fighting against abusive relationships

-Helluva boss-

Thank you for not just making us laugh but feel -Leo-

We are sad to see you go -AGGRETSUKO-

We love seeing you magical again - Precure Higaru sky!-

and we like seeing you grown up

- Kibou no Chikara Otona pretty cure-

We want to see what you have in store next -The Dragon Prince-

You taught us about mankind and more, you deserve to be watched all over again

-Pluto-

You made me hopeful about the future -I'm in Love With the Villainess-

You were quite fun- Elemental-

You're making a big wave for india animation -Digital Cicus-

You were flawless, thank you -Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake-

You were perfect for Halloween and for my vampire needs-Castlevania: Nocturne-

You were chaotic but we enjoyed it - Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix-

You deserve more love

-Kizazi Moto: Generation Fire-

Thank you for showing us love -My Happy Marriage-

For showing us a forbidden, deep romance

- Heaven Offical's Blessing-

we hope to be blessed with good animation series again in 2024.

[brucebocchi]

Spring 2024 anime, Pt. 1: Ongoing/returning shows and the bench

yo! i also post this on my ko-fi! this is very much a labor of love, so if you liked what i wrote consider throwing a few bucks my way! thanks!

And we are back! This one came a little later because I'm much busier now than I was three months ago, but that's a good thing. It'll be a bit longer before I cover last season's new anime, so bear with me. I'm happy to say, though, that I didn't hate anything I watched this season! So there's that.

As always, the OP is linked in the title of each show. Check them out, there were some good ones this season!

Here we go:

Continuing & returning shows:

Delicious in Dungeon, second cour

Ahh, Dungeon Meshi. At the start of my review of its debut cour, I said that Dungeon Meshi is a difficult anime for me to talk about unprompted because it’s such a complete, self-assured work that saying anything about it besides “PLEASE WATCH THIS ANIME IT’S SO FUCKING GOOD” feels like a fait accompli. After twelve more episodes and spending the better part of a weekend binging the entire manga, I’m left with little else to say besides please watch this anime (and read the manga), it’s so fucking good.

Our adventuring party has managed to slay (and cook) the red dragon and resurrect Falin from its belly, but the victory came at a cost: They have managed to not only invoke the ire of the dungeon’s ruler, the “lunatic magician” Thistle, but Marcille’s use of forbidden resurrection magic has also raised another number of hackles. Reunions aren’t all happy ones and the dungeon is getting weirder.

This line break represents where I wanted to add so much more and just kept falling short. This continues to be an exceptional adaptation of an exceptional manga. For all the silly gags, for all the goofy potshots everyone takes at each other, Dungeon Meshi is a series with a beating heart worn permanently on its sleeve. The group dynamic remains superb, and no less so for the standoffish half-girl-half-cat Izutsumi joining the gang (my joy at seeing her added to the OP was indescribable). The ways in which everything interconnects make up only a fraction of this series’ unmatched worldbuilding; much hay has been made about how Ryoko Kui designed the dungeon as a living, breathing ecosystem, but there’s so much more of that within the human element as well, and the latter aspect looks to only improve when the show returns for the next season.

Dungeon Meshi is, without question, the best anime of 2024 so far, and I will be impressed if anything manages to overtake it in this year’s latter half. The manga became one of my favorites in record time, and I have little doubt that by the end of the second (and almost certainly final) season, one of my favorite anime of all time will indeed be Dungeon Meshi. Ahh, Dungeon Meshi.

KonoSuba: God’s Blessing on This Wonderful World!, season 3

When I reviewed last year’s Megumin-centric spinoff, I mentioned that I’m not quite as high on KonoSuba as other anime fans. I always thought it was a perfectly serviceable comedy isekai, nothing too special, but mostly worth the watch. Even after the letdown that was An Explosion on this Wonderful World! last year, I was still looking forward to the long-overdue third season. And pretty much as expected, what we got was fine. Just fine.

That said, I was instantly delighted to see Megumin once again surrounded by Kazuma, Aqua, and Darkness. And as is frequently the case when those four are together, shit goes south fast. Kazuma, hoping to heal the mental wounds he incurred in the Legend of Crimson film, gets his groove back when he’s invited to regale the adorable Princess Iris with tales of his exploits. As a noble herself, Darkness is mortified throughout this ordeal, scrambling to ensure that Kazuma doesn’t get beheaded for being a loudmouthed freak, and also that Aqua and Megumin don’t accidentally burn the palace down in their revelry. 

KonoSuba gets a lot of comparisons to It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, in that both are ensemble comedies in which the entire main group consists of awful people who don’t entirely like or trust one another. It’s a fair enough comparison, but what makes the group dynamic work for both shows is that the moral center is never a fixed point; the “voice of reason” among either group changes along with the situation to ensure the comedy stays fresh. And the fact that Lalatina Dustiness goddamn Ford has to be the voice of reason for the majority of this season should mortify you.

Darkness losing her mind aside, I didn’t really care for this arc. There was some interesting worldbuilding happening toward the middle of the season, but Kazuma acting way too eager about having a tiny, prepubescent girl calling him “onii-chan” just made my skin crawl, and I’m otherwise pretty much immune to the bog-standard “hey, laugh at this man because he’s a pervert” anime trope at this point. Fortunately, it only lasted for half the season, but unfortunately, it still felt an episode or two too long. The second half of the season followed Darkness’ forced betrothal to a gross noble from an earlier episode, and that arc also felt an episode or two too long.

Season 3 felt like KonoSuba both at its best and worst. The character dynamics are as rich as ever, even as Aqua and Megumin largely fell to the margins in favor of the larger stories. The smaller moments with the main four just bumming around their mansion are always just as entertaining as their larger exploits. The narrative seems to want to continue pushing Kazuma and Megumin together, nurturing the seeds planted in the movie, but later episodes also make a pretty good case for Kazuma and Darkness getting together; for better and for worse, those two absolutely match one another’s freak. Some of the gags this season were pretty darn good as well: This anime’s facials are already the stuff of legend, and we got some bangers here too (see above). For as loud as it often got, there were a few gags that centered on prolonged, uncomfortable silences like a late episode of Evangelion. And for as bored as I started to grow with the last arc, the punchline at the very end of the season almost made the whole thing worth it.

On the other hand, this show somehow got noisier. Some of Explosion’s funnier moments last year came from Megumin’s shrieking outbursts, so Studio Drive (taking over the main series from Deen) seemed to think that everyone needed to yell all the time now. It felt jarring; like watching season 4 of SpongeBob for the first time. I’m also not impressed by the fact that this series still seems to think sexual assault is just the funniest when it happens to men. It was a serious lowlight of the Legend of Crimson movie, and it just seemed to double down this time for a completely unnecessary segment in which Kazuma helps Dust get back at a creep, only for it to backfire on Dust and only on Dust. That shit sucks!

At the same time, it’s still KonoSuba, so ESH. If you made it this far, you’re pretty much along for the ride until it breaks down, so you take the good with the bad. Neither particularly outweighs the other, nor are they enough to push me towards declaring this show as either essential or unwatchable. It’s KonoSuba, and KonoSuba is fine.

Laid-Back Camp, season 3

The reigning champion of Cute Girls Doing Cute Things anime returns to the present day after the 10-years-later film, and it’s in fighting shape. Though the third season of Yuru Camp (another anime I refuse to call by its official English title) is in the hands of a new studio, it’s still full to bursting with all the gorgeous countryside scenery, tantalizing food porn, and whimsical music you’ve come to expect by now.

This is one that was on my backlog for the better part of a couple years, so I figured there was no better time to catch up than to time it with a new season hitting the air. Through two seasons and an original movie, Yuru Camp was peak slice-of-life: Low on conflict, heavy on cuteness, and brimming with personality. It does what it says on the tin; it’s a show about high school girls going camping, and by God are you getting high school girls going camping. And in the meantime, you, the viewer, get to learn the ins and outs of camping while discovering all these real-life, lovely spots along the Japanese countryside with Mt. Fuji always in view, and maybe help boost the local tourism economies once you go outside and touch grass.

The previous two seasons largely followed the girls’ exploits at school and out in the open as individuals and smaller groups before building to a big destination trip with all five of them, but season 3 takes a more, uh, laid-back approach. The first half follows Rin’s bike trip along with Nadeshiko’s hometown bestie, Ayano, until they meet up with Nadeshiko after her own solo excursion. We also get a quick peek at a heavily-fictionalized retelling of Chiaki, Aoi, and Ena’s outing with Toba-sensei, as well as a cherry blossom viewing trip with Nadeshiko and her sister, before the girls all come together once more for a nighttime hanami outing. It’s more of the same, and that’s exactly what you’re here for.

That said, the character work is the glue that holds Yuru Camp together, and it’s as wonderful as ever. Rin and Nadeshiko’s friendship remains a delight, and Hazel covered it better and more succinctly than I ever could in the Yuru Camp segment in her phenomenal video on countryside scenery in anime. Watching Rin bond with Ayano one-on-one on their own trip was a real highlight; they’d hit it off quickly in the first season, and it was lovely seeing Ayano working at Rin’s go-to bike shop in the movie, so I was overjoyed to see more of these two. More than anything, though, seeing a habitual loner like Rin connect so naturally with another person (and one who isn’t Nadeshiko, no less) just warms my cold, dead heart. The looser plotting also gives us the time and space to take in how the girls individually spend their downtime. Nadeshiko’s quickly becoming as much of an expert solo traveler as Rin, and her youthful enthusiasm about everything remains as endearing as ever. We even get to watch her becoming a train nerd in real time! 

At the same time, the communal aspect of camping is a huge part of what makes this show click. Part of that, of course, has been watching Rin’s social circle expanding, but also in seeing how readily campers observe and aid one another. Nobody is “the best” at camping (except maybe Rin’s granddad), so none of the campers in this show have any reservations about going out of their way to help one another. Even an expert solo camper like Rin was a greenhorn at one point, so she’s always happy to give and receive help. The various campers the girls run into along their journeys are always ready with local information about good spots to eat, relax, and take in a good view as well. Even camping on your own, you’re never truly alone.

In that same vein, Yuru Camp is as educational as ever. Along the girls’ travels, we learn plenty about the myriad suspension bridges over the Oi River drainage basin, the various types of passenger trains connecting the countryside, torii gates along the mountains, and clever ways to build a camping menu around local crops. Yes, Yuru Camp is as much food porn as it is nature porn, and the dishes are sumptuous. On that note, my favorite thing I learned this season came from Nadeshiko’s drooling outbursts during the other OutClub girls’ camp retelling: It turns out that there’s an equivalent Japanese colloquialism to what we call food porn, specifically in the act of taunting people about delicious food they can’t have right now, and that is “meshitero,” or “food terrorism.” That is just terrific.

Yuru Camp is in the hands of a new studio for its third season, and the difference is mostly negligible. This is a show that trades largely in vibes, and the vibes remain impeccable. Almost everything still looks and sounds great, but season 3 leans a little more heavily on CG for moving bikes and cars, and they do look markedly worse. Not immersion-shattering, but definitely distracting. The scenery largely looks less hand-painted in favor of a more photorealistic style, which does make me wonder about the actual level of artistry put into it, but that could just be me splitting hairs. Otherwise, it still looks like Yuru Camp, which is all you can ask for.

This show still rules though. I don’t often get intense in my praise of slice-of-life anime, and the ones that get me acting like that are the ones that go to wild lengths for the sake of a joke, like Nichijou and Kaguya-sama. I don’t know what it is about a show as lowkey as Yuru Camp that has me wanting to scream from the rooftops that “THIS FUCKING SHOW WHIPS ASS,” but I’m not questioning it. Maybe it’s cuteness aggression.

Mushoku Tensei: Jobless Reincarnation, season 2, part 2

And we’re back with more of the best-made anime that I can’t recommend in good faith to just about anyone.

The latter half of season 2 surrounds Rudeus’ aims for a quiet domestic life, settling down with Sylphiette and at the request of his father, Paul, taking his little sisters Aisha and Norn into their home (along with a very welcome reunion with their escort). Aisha takes after her mother, Lilia, and is eager to please and help around the house, but Norn’s last memory of Rudeus is of his violent reunion with their father. Norn idolizes Paul, so she doesn’t trust Rudeus and refuses to open up to him. While Aisha is content with working around the house, Norn wants to keep her distance, so she decides to enroll and board at the magic academy.

Norn’s apprehension towards Rudy and the mental anguish it causes her becomes an isolating factor in her daily life, leading Rudeus to believe that she’s being bullied, much as he was in his previous life. Rudy’s attempts at sticking up for his sister fall flat and lead him to realize he’s been projecting on her this entire time rather than actually reaching out to her. It’s these moments of learning and unlearning that nearly make all of this worth it; this was easily one of the best episodes of Mushoku Tensei’s second season, and frankly one of the best episodes of anime I watched all season. Another episode near the end also earned that distinction, but it got weird afterwards. Even in its lower moments, this season traded very well in the themes of family, growth, and loss, and those aren’t always tidy subjects to handle.

Because this is Mushoku Tensei, the cozy home life can’t last forever. Paul’s attempts at saving his wife have continued to fall short, so he calls on Rudeus and Elinalise to come and help rescue Zenith. Rudeus is conflicted; though he finally has the opportunity to save his mother and face his father as a man, Sylphie is now pregnant and he doesn’t want to abandon his wife and future child. As often happens at times like this, Rudy gets some face time with the Man-God who has been seemingly invested in his journey, and for once Rudy flouts his advice to venture out. Many reunions are had, including one that had been teased all season, and a lot of things go south from there. I was spoiled on some of what would happen in later parts of the series, so it didn’t come as a massive shock to me, but it still got weird, it wasn’t really addressed all that well, and people were rightfully put off by it.

On that note, I’ve given up on the idea of this series being about Rudeus improving as a person, because he’s done just about as much “improving” as he’s going to by now. As I’ve said before, he’s not quite the drooling pervert he used to be (he was actually doing great for more than half of this cour before a succubus attack briefly got the better of him), but his moral compass, even in his best moments, still seems to be poorly calibrated. I do see a side of him now that genuinely cares for others and actively wants to help, but it doesn’t erase his questionable acts, nor do I get any sense that he deserves to get the things he wants. I particularly don’t care for what’s already looking like a formula wherein sex seems to be his cosmic reward whenever he hits a low point or achieves something great. For a series that genuinely has such excellent worldbuilding and storytelling, that part feels cheap enough to undermine everything else.

But hey, a rapist died, so it’s not all bad.

I’m not sure I’d necessarily put Mushoki Tensei on the level of Frieren or Dungeon Meshi, certainly not thematically, but with all three off the air this upcoming Summer season, it’s been a minute since we’ve had a season of anime without one of those three lovingly-made fantasy series on the air. It feels like anime has a massive fantasy void now, and I desperately hope I’m proven wrong soon.

Urusei Yatsura (2022), season 2, second cour

The final run of the remade Urusei Yatsura ended on a strong note with an honest-to-God story arc! Lum and Ataru’s tempestuous situationship is put into stark relief with the fate of the world in the balance, except not really; Lum just wants him to think that because she’s fed up with his shit and that’s just how she operates.

Even as disjointed as this run has been prior to the final arc, there were still some gems this season. The time-travel segment where the gang tries to undo Mendo’s fear of the dark was a certified banger, Asuka’s violent androphobia is as funny as ever, and the introduction of Nagisa as a means of further muddying Ryunosuke’s whole gender situation was the most quintessentially Rumiko Takahashi shit I’ve ever seen. It’s the character comedy that makes Urusei Yatsura what it is just as much as the central will-they-won’t-they, and it was just as potent as always before the series hurtled towards its finale.

The four-episode arc to close out the all-stars run, similarly to the final arc of the manga and the final movie of the original anime run, centers on a blowup between our romantic leads over a colossal misunderstanding (sasuga Takahashi-sensei) involving a unilaterally-fated marriage between Lum and the prince of a dark planet, Rupa. Though Ataru and fellow dark-planeter Karula (basically Rupa’s own equivalent Lum) foil the wedding, a carbon copy of Lum created to ensure a proper exchange of vows tells Ataru that she’s over him. Ataru’s feelings are genuinely hurt, and he tells the real Lum that they’re through, and he returns to Earth with Karula, accidentally spreading spores of the dark planet’s enormous mushrooms.

Said mushrooms rapidly grow enormous when exposed to sunlight, so Earth is already in certain danger. Lum sees an opportunity to manipulate convince Ataru to finally get serious, so she sets familiar stakes: She’ll enlist Rupa’s help in destroying the mushrooms, but only if Ataru can beat her in a ten-day game of tag by grabbing her horns, just like when they first met. More importantly, though, she’ll let it all go if he can just say out loud that he loves her. And you know damn well by now that these two are both as stubborn as they come.

As I’ve said before, this is a shorter run, so we may not have the benefit of the entirety of Urusei Yatsura up to this point to be properly salivating for the finale, but I’ll be damned if it didn’t still hit like a freight train. The emotional climax was still meaty and satisfying in ways that made all of this worth it. Half of the joke of this series is that Ataru’s never going to get serious about Lum in a way that matters, but every time the mask slips is a well-earned shot to the heart. The ending is no different, and it made the shorter run still feel worthwhile.

And with that, that’s a wrap on a modern (if truncated) retelling of a legendary comedy manga. I’ll be forever grateful to this iteration of Urusei Yatsura for finally pushing me into getting into Rumiko Takahashi’s classic works, and I’m beyond excited that there’s also a Ranma ½ remake on the way. If David Production takes that one on as well, it’ll be in great hands.

Anime I Watched Two Episodes of and Will Probably Get Back to Later

I Was Reincarnated as the 7th Prince So I Can Take My Time Perfecting My Magical Ability

I mean, you read the title.

This is less an isekai and more of a lateral reincarnation story; magic already very much exists in this fantasy kingdom, but this is about a guy who is very obsessed with magic but sucked at it suddenly gaining a wealth of talent and the opportunity to go absolutely sicko mode.

Lloyd’s existing knowledge of magic serves him well, and he becomes a virtuoso at a young age. He manages to subjugate a demon lurking in the palace’s library and turn him into an adorable familiar (and having the demon go from being voiced by Akio Otsuka to Fairouz Ai was a brilliant move) and just terrorize the poor little shit with his experiments and travails. The kid could basically do a Hollow Purple by the second episode. He’s kind of psychotic, and I love that for him.

This is definitely a comedy, but the comedy is kind of all over the place early on. Prince Lloyd is surrounded by beautiful young ladies-in-waiting who, uh, seem way too into him, and that kinda sucks. Lloyd himself is drawn and animated a little too lovingly for a child as well. It’s definitely uncomfortable in parts early on, but I’ve heard it lightens up on that and gets crazier in the parts that matter, so I’ll be coming back.

And it started with a menacing monologue from Takehito Koyasu himself, so of course my interest was piqued from the jump.

Oblivion Battery

It’s weird, I love both anime and sports, but sports anime was just something I never sought out too much until I picked up Blue Box recently (also please read Blue Box, it whips ass and the anime is gonna be incredible). Oblivion Battery’s debut coincided with the start of the American baseball season, so it seemed like a great time to hop in.

I can’t say I was too intrigued by the premise, though. The intentionally generically-named Taro Yamada quit baseball after middle school after getting utterly rinsed by the high-powered battery of pitcher Haruka Kiyomine and catcher Kei Kaname, so he enrolls in a high school without a baseball club, only to find that his classmates are… Haruka and Kei. Kei, as it turns out, took a bad hit to the head and has completely forgotten all about baseball, and now spends all of his time trying to be a comedy boke for unwilling participants. Taro and Haruka would like Kei to learn about baseball again, so they start up a new club, alongside other classmates who also quit baseball because of the titular battery.

Fine premise, but eh. The hook wasn’t enough of a hook for me, and even MAPPA handling the animation didn’t keep my attention for long. I’ll probably get back to it eventually, but I ended up watching plenty of other anime this season that felt like higher priorities.

Also, I’m pretty sure Oblivion Battery’s manga introduced a character named Aoi Todo before Jujutsu Kaisen did. I still prefer the latter.

YATAGARASU: The Raven Does Not Choose its Master

See, this one I probably should’ve picked up sooner, because it seems like it’s very much my jam, and I’ve seen plenty of praise for it. It’s a dense one, though, and I’d rather not cram it just to turn around and review it a few days later.

I won’t even go into the details because even two episodes in, there are darn near too many of them. This is a massive ensemble cast in and around a succession battle in a fictionalized, imperial Japan-esque kingdom created and ruled by yokai. We’ve got a battle of brides-to-be vying for the hand of an embattled prince, a cunning but resentful empress overseeing the proceedings, a possible spy or two, and a rambunctious little shit who looks like he got plucked out of Avatar: The Last Airbender getting roped into working in the palace. It’s a lot of moving parts, but I’m curious to see how they tie together.

Two episodes in and this show looks good, but probably not as great as it could. I know I’m spoiled on The Apothecary Diaries, but something like this already feels like it deserves better than some of the stiff character animation I saw early on. I’ll reserve my judgments for now.

YATAGARASU is continuing into the summer season, so I’ll take my time catching up on it. This one feels like it deserves to be sipped slowly, not chugged, and I’ll have my tasting notes in due time.

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

— 1D Monthly Fic Roundup —

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for March 2024! Below you’ll find 1D fics that were all published this month. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​. You can find all our other posts here.

Happy reading!

＊ Why Don’t We Start Writing The Story Of Us by red_panda28 / @red-pandaaa [T, 6k, Louis/Harry]

Immediately after the words left his mouth, Louis wanted to face palm himself. Nerves always brought out joking as a deflection technique, it was almost an instinct.

Harry only looked up long enough to reply with a flat, “no,” before turning back to his book.

“Alright,” Louis said, rocking forward on the balls of his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’ll, uh… leave you to it.”

OR Alpha Louis and Omega Harry get off on the wrong foot, Louis has the worst timing, and Harry believes in second chances. Three times Louis asks Harry on a date and the one time Harry accepts

＊ The Room Thief by @2tiedships2 [NR, 12k, Harry/Louis]

Louis: Can I come over? Need your help.

Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it.

Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch?

Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW.

Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.

When Louis comes home and is confronted by his knothead alpha flatmates, he knows it won’t result in anything good, but he didn’t expect to be left homeless, effective immediately. He definitely didn’t expect to fall for the specific knothead who stole his room.

＊ Half Agony, Half Hope by asphodelknox / @iamasphodelknox [E, 33k+, wip, Louis/Harry]

Harry had never believed the rumors of the beast at the manor on the hill. They sounded like something from Twilight or an old Hollywood horror film, a beautiful man who turned into a beast once a month and killed anyone who was unlucky enough to be stuck on the manor’s grounds.

Yeah, right. The manor was probably just creepy and old. Besides, it’s not like he had anything else to do.

Harry's had enough of his shit year. Had enough of his shit ex and the fact that he graduated from university with no idea what to do next or what to do with the grief. Ed dares him to spend a month at the crumbling Tomlinson manor, and Harry goes cause what else do you do when your life's fallen apart?

It's not really haunted anyway... is it?

＊ when the time is right by refusethyname / @refusethyname28 [E, 146k, Harry/Louis]

“Do you live in the cabin by yourself?” Louis then decided to ask.

“I do, well sort of, I have a cat.”

“A cat?” Louis then asked and Harry nodded happily.

“She’s a precious thing, but she always leaves me for this one customer who is staying at one of the cabins. His name is Tomlin-something, I can’t really recall,” Harry said, causing Louis to chuckle this time. The singer shook his head at Harry’s comment and smiled brightly at him. Harry was truly something else and Louis’ heart fluttered.

“He sounds like an absolute arse if he steals your cat,” Louis chuckled and Harry shook his head at that.

“On the contrary, he is extremely thoughtful, didn’t even mind it too much when I spilled my hot tea over him, how is your stomach by the way?” Harry then asked.

“If this is your way of trying to get me to undress again,” Louis joked and Harry’s cheeks grew bright red. The younger man started stammering some incoherent things and quickly averted his gaze, which Louis thought was absolutely adorable.

Or the cabin fic where falling in love underneath the northern lights only leads to heartbreak.

＊ I Found the Earth (Not Leaving Now) by mmaree / @zqua1d [M, 34k, Zayn/Liam]

Liam watches the ball of light as it traces the sky then starts to dip below the tree-line. It’s larger than any shooting star he has ever seen before.

He makes a wish.

Alien Zayn + Human Liam | A love story inspired by the song “If I Got You”

＊ Your hand in my hand, so still and discreet by flamboyo / @riverswater [E, 4k, Louis/Harry]

“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.”

Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.

＊ Scared That My Worst is the Best That I’ve Got by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28 [M, 5k, Harry/Louis]

So while Louis’ proposition is preposterous, it’s also the only compromise his brain seems willing to make at the moment.

Harry slowly raises his head to look at Louis. He’s standing on the other side of the kitchen, elbow resting casually on the edge of the counter next to the sink. His expression is soft and patient, and there’s delicate morning sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows behind him, setting his outlined silhouette aglow. He looks like an angel.

An angel in an old oversized adidas jumper with tattoos on his knuckles, but an angel all the same.

Harry’s voice comes out mumbled and much smaller than he’d like, but it is what it is. As Louis always says.

“Just shampoo?”

(Or five times Louis saves Harry from himself, and one time when Louis is the one that needs the saving).

＊ I’ll tell you something (I hope you’ll understand) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright [E, 2k, Louis/Harry]

Louis insists that Harry stay off her phone and in the safety of Louis' room rather than risk moping in her own texting her ex-boyfriend. When Harry agrees on one condition, Louis' safe night in could become something else entirely.

＊ sunshine, baby! by staybeautiful / @harruandlou [E, 106k, Harry/Louis]

Louis was the first one down the row for their group. If he hadn’t been they would have never met.

He was turned around, walking backwards and saying to Liam, “No, I’ll get you to a real footie match next,” when he bumped into someone.

“Oops,” Louis laughed, tripping over his own feet. A hand curled around his upper arm as he nearly fell over the seat in front of him. “Sorry about that, mate.”

He turned around, still teetering in his vans, to apologize again, but the words dried in his throat. Another hand gripped his other elbow, steadying him, but all Louis could see were green eyes and dimples.

“Hi,” the man laughed, a bright, bubbling sound. “Are you okay?”

Or Louis is in his first year of law school, Harry is a junior on the swim team dreaming of the Olympics, and they both agree that they don't have time for anything more than friends with benefits... right?

- Podfics -

＊ Truth or Drink by @kingsofeverything read by @podfic-pals [M, 6k, Louis/Harry]

Truth or Drink | Exes

Harry and Louis broke up years ago, and they're seeing each other again for the first time to play Truth or Drink. On camera.

[bakerstreethound]

To Another Year

Relationship: Sherlock x lestrade!sibling reader

Warnings: mentions of fireworks, alcohol, Molly makes the briefest appearance, slight hints of jealousy, and Sherlock is a little grumpy

Summary: When the party for the new year begins at 221B, you reflect upon your year and the many blessings it's given you - that one of a new family, both blood and chosen.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound​ (Do NOT copy, repost, claim, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username) 

Word Count: 1.09k+

A/N: Happy 2024 everyone! Let's hope it's a good one. University has had me in a whirlwind this past semester and up to this winter course I'm on the tail end of. I hope to continue writing and posting more stories about our beloved detective. I know this is a few days, almost a week short of the new year, but it is Sherlock's birthday, so this works as a two-for-one gift. I sincerely hope you enjoy it. As always comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated. Huge shoutout to @strangelockd for beta reading and helping with the title! Graphic by @firefly-graphics

Mrs. Hudson rushed into the room, a bottle of champagne in one hand, the other holding a tray of sweets balanced precariously on the platter. You smiled, making your way over to help before John shoved you aside, taking the platter from her in stride. 

“Let me get that for you, Mrs. Hudson, ah yes these look swell!” John grinned, and you rolled your eyes, joining him as he popped a brownie in his mouth. 

You chuckled, biting into one as well, letting the warmth coat your tongue and suddenly you felt like a child again. “Oh, Mrs. Hudson you’ve outdone yourself truly. These are fantastic!” 

She chuckled while pulling out the glasses, clearing the table in the kitchen from the remnants of Sherlock’s experiments you’d cleared away, but somehow mysteriously popped up again.

You groaned in exasperation. You couldn’t remember the last time the kitchen, or the table for that matter had been clear of experiments or Sherlock’s current fixations. 

“Say, where is Sherlock?” John asked, taking another brownie from the tray. 

You shrugged, taking a sip from the champagne Mrs. Hudson handed you. “I haven’t the faintest idea. If he had any plans he didn't tell me.”

“Since when does he ever have plans other than dragging us along on cases?” John nudged you playfully and you sighed. 

“Sherlock always likes to go off and run around without regard to us,” Mrs. Hudson pipped in, taking a sip from her glass.” But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun without him. Surely he’s bound to show up.” 

“Oh, I’m sure he will, he’s been on a few holiday cases up in Cardiff, from what Greg has told me,” you smiled. Speaking of the devil your phone buzzed and you moved with John and Mrs. Hudson to the living room where you promptly seated yourself in Sherlock’s chair, John following suit in his own while Mrs. Hudson sat on the couch you’d pulled closer to the chairs. 

You pulled open the text from your brother, your smile widening. Greg’s message was a selfie of him hauling a grocery bag, likely offerings for the party accompanied by an “on my way!” and a profuse apology for being late as Scotland Yard refused to close at a decent hour.

Well, a decent hour for Greg would be five, so he could sleep earlier and be to work at an even earlier time. Between the both of you, you’re more the night owl.

You take another sip of your drink, watching as John set up festive music on the telly, and opening the curtains where you were met with a rich dark sky littered with stars, the moon glowing softly. You admire the sight and you can’t imagine anything better than this or anywhere you’d rather be. 

Your phone buzzed again, met with another text from Greg. Make sure to keep Sherlock in line. 

Thanks, Greg, you think. If you had any idea where he was you would be sure to do so as he was your significant other. Yet communication on large cases tended to hinder his whereabouts. 

Pretty sure John will do a fine job once we find out where the hell Sherlock went, you shot back. 

“What’s this Grantham wants?” Sherlock burst through the door in all his glory, his beautiful Belstaff billowing around him as he fiddled with his phone. Joh chuckled, rolling his eyes at the absurdity and you huffed in amusement. 

“Wonderful to see you too my dear. Welcome home!” You rise to greet Sherlock but he’s over next to you in an instant pulling you in for a hug.

You fall into him, sure that Mrs. Hudson is giggling in a corner sending a meaningful look to John. You don’t care in the slightest, not anymore. Sherlock was always yours and you are his, despite the doubts you had from time to time through the years. 

“Oi, come on you two lovebirds is this a party or what?” Greg beamed, patting John on the shoulder, raising a glass to Mrs. Hudson. It didn’t take him long to find the drinks, you chuckled to yourself, pecking Sherlock’s cheek. “Also, my brother's name is not Grantham. You should know this by now.”

“Smart girl that one is,” Greg said, “yet she gets herself involved with the likes of Sherlock. I’ll never understand it. The Lestrades like danger over stability it seems.” 

“Oh knock it off you all,” Mrs. Hudson admonished. “At least take a few more drinks and at least eat. I bet you all haven’t eaten since lunch, and likely skipped breakfast as well.” 

You cast her a look, for she knew you all too well. “Of course, Mrs. Hudson,” you pulled yourself from Sherlock’s embrace even though it was agony to do so, your mind screaming for you to pull yourself up against him and drown in his kisses and warmth.

You quickly give your brother a hug and Greg grinned good-naturedly as you squeezed him tight. It’d been weeks since you’d seen him given the business of the holidays.

It was nice to finally settle down without the impeding stress of work and other responsibilities, relinquishing yourself to the relaxation amongst friends and family. It was why you cherished moments such as these and when you hugged Sherlock again, ruffling his curls, as he grumped, but you knew deep down he enjoyed it. 

******

Soon enough you’re all full of champagne, a filling meal, and in generally good spirits. Molly made a chance to stop by, too, and you pulled her into a warm embrace. She blushed in the dim light, not expecting it from you. You couldn’t blame her for having a crush on Sherlock all those years, but your mutual jealousy between you had faded with time and you’d come to enjoy her company.

You hand her a glass, eyes shining in mirth and at that moment you know you’ll be alright. With your found family and kin in the room, all felt right. 

Perhaps the year would be a good one after all. 

You found Sherlock in his chair observing the quieter atmosphere as everyone settled, talking quietly. You noted the way his fingers tapped on the chair impatiently and you carefully situated yourself in his lap, setting your half-empty glass on the side table.

From the window, fireworks light the sky in all their glory and soft cheers ring through 221B. You brush your lips against Sherlock’s, and he welcomes you into the dawn of what hopefully will be one of the best years in your memory.

******

[unicyclehippo]

Happy new year, i hope 2024 is kind to you. For the word prompt structure:)

a very short snippet for ep97 of cr

//

Fearne paused as Laudna did, their arms still gently looped together. It felt so much better that way like they were on a garden walk instead of the creepiest tunnel ever.

Her tail waggled anxiously when Laudna frowned and tilted her head. Her eyes were still that glossy, sightless black—vision lent to her familiar ahead. The odd purple gleam, faint and rarely there, was a reflection from Imogen’s lights. Had to be.

‘Laudna?’ Fearne stroked her shoulder, gave one of the golden chains of her corset a gentle tug while she had the chance. (Boy, they were really well attached. That would be some effort to take.) ‘Laudna? What is it?’

Laudna’s arm spasmed, tensed. Her free hand flung out and knocked painfully against the stone wall; she didn’t seem to notice, didn’t seem to care, only placed her palm more gently on the stone to hold herself steady. A delicate tremor ran through her, like she was cold. Freezing.

Fearne bit her lip. Then stepped closer, and wrapped her arms around her.

‘Laudna,’ she said again. Slid a warm hand beneath the heavy cloak. ‘Come back. What is it?’

Like an ice statue thawing, Laudna slipped more fully into Fearne’s arms. Tilted her head until it rested against her shoulder. The sharp chilly point of her nose grazed Fearne’s pulse, which jumped at their closeness. She couldn’t help it! Her friend was hot! Well, cold. But gorgeous, in a deliciously dark kind of way.

‘Are you alright? Did you see something?’ Fearne lifted her other hand to twirl one of Laudna’s flyaway strands. There was a little flinch as she neared Laudna’s ear—so little, she wouldn’t have noticed if Laudna weren’t half buried in her bosom—and she couldn’t help but lean in, press warm lips to Laudna’s forehead.

They stood there for a moment. The rest of the party was following, in the slow cautious way that the deep shadow forced. For this moment, they were alone, unseen.

Fearne wondered if that was a comfort. Laudna liked shadows. Didn’t she? It would be awfully sad if she didn’t, given everything about her.

‘Fearne?’

‘Mhm?’

‘I do love you so,’ Laudna croaked. ‘We - I don’t say it enough. I don’t show it enough. I hope you know.’

Fire scorched the walls of Fearne’s lungs, hot and sweet, licked up the length of her spine.

‘I know.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course.’ There was a lot she wanted to say—like, once when she was really little a monster made it into Ligament Manor and Nana had torn it to shreds and eaten every last bit of it and it was the safest she’d ever felt. So she did, adding, ‘I think you’re a lot like her. Super beautiful too.’

‘Not…a monster?’

Fearne shrugged. ‘If you mean evil, no.’ She scritched at Laudna’s back between her shoulder blades. If she took the time to carefully feel if there was a matching lump of scar tissue to the one on her sternum, well. Laudna didn’t notice.

Laudna sighed. Snuggled closer. ‘There’s a structure. A room, up ahead,’ she whispered, almost sing-song, tone sweet and sad and scared. She sounded so young. ‘With bodies. Dangling. On ro- chains.’

Fearne let the curl of hair drop from her finger and closed Laudna in a tight, warm hug. The fire came up from her lungs to her throat, but it didn’t feel as good anymore.

‘Don’t look,’ Fearne said, demanded, asked. Her voice trembled. ‘Don’t look at them anymore. Okay? Please?’

Laudna shook her head. ‘I must.’

‘No-‘

‘I must keep us all safe. Whatever the cost.’

Fearne felt the flame in her chest tremble. It always did, in a strong cold wind. Pushed in a direction. But she always found her way.

‘Okay.’ Fearne pressed another kiss to her forehead. ‘Laudna? I’m here. We’re all here. You’re not alone this time.’

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, epilogue: together

Joel Miller x f!reader | 18+ minors DNI | word count: 6.4k

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it) chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, banter, light angst, kissing, pet names (darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl), Joel calls reader a good girl, neck grabbing (no breath play), light manhandling, grinding, oral (f receiving), oral (m receiving), deepthroating, light choking, p in v sex (no condom this time, but use a condom, y’all), creampie, praise kink, light anal play, face sitting, if I missed anything please let me know! a/n: I cannot believe this is the last part (this is the +1 - the time they did something about it). I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think!

series main post | series playlist | ao3 ch 1 | ch 2 | ch 3 | ch 4 | ch 5

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Epilogue: Together

Austin, December 2002

Almost two years in, and sometimes you couldn’t believe how happy you were with Joel. Almost two and a half, really, if you counted the 6 months you spent getting to know each other but holding yourselves back. 

You had a memorable second Christmas together – you stayed with the Millers for your entire holiday break from teaching, only running next door to your house to get random things you needed as they came up. Sarah, then 13, had been excited about it for weeks, though her excitement hadn’t died down after Christmas itself. You weren’t sure why, but she was still practically bouncing off the walls of the Miller household. Joel easily agreed to let her go to a New Year’s sleepover to burn off some of her energy.

A couple of days before New Year’s Eve you came back from a grocery run to an empty house. You knew Tommy had driven Sarah to the mall, but Joel should’ve been there somewhere. You called for him and heard a thump from the backyard, so you set down your bags and wandered out to see what he was up to. You found him up on a ladder, hammer in hand, string lights trailing over his shoulder and already secured in other places on the tall fence around the backyard.

“What’s all this?” you asked, coming to stand beside the ladder to steady it. It had rained earlier, but now it was just foggy and a little chilly. For Texas, anyway. You shivered.

Joel grunted, voice muffled by the nail he was holding with his lips. “I wanted to do something nice for Sarah for New Year’s.”

“Isn’t she going to that sleepover?”

“Yeah, but she’ll be back the next day. Thought we could celebrate it together.” You rested your hand on his ankle and smiled up at him. He was such a good dad, always thinking of little details like this that would brighten her day.

“Need any help?”

“No, I’m ‘bout done. Hey, could you go make us some coffee? Maybe we can sit out here for a bit when I’m done, think about what else we could do to decorate.”

“Sure, baby.” You squeezed his ankle and headed off to do just that.

It took you about 20 minutes to put away the groceries and make some coffee the way you both liked it. By the time you wandered back outside, Joel had finished the lights and put away the ladder. The string lights were glowing softly all around the back yard. You smiled a little, noticing that he’d also put down a large blanket in the middle of the yard and set up the boombox nearby. 

“¡Que Bonito!” was playing quietly, but Joel was nowhere to be seen. 

“Joel? You out here?” 

You whirled to your left, careful with the coffee, as he cleared his throat from behind you, near the door to the house. Somehow he’d managed to sneak in and change without you noticing. He was wearing a black button up and nicer jeans than he had been 20 minutes ago. 

Before you could ask what was going on, he walked towards you and took the coffees from you, setting them carefully on the low table the boom box was sitting on. “Come here, darlin’.” He guided you into a slow dance, starting to sway back and forth.

“What’s the occasion?”

He hummed, pulling you closer. “Just dance with me, pretty girl.” 

You realized he wasn’t going to tell you, at least not yet, so you relaxed into it. You rested your face on his chest as he rested his cheek on top of your head.

You swayed gently together, and the soft glow of the new string lights made everything feel soft and romantic. You sighed and let yourself sink into him. 

When the song ended you felt Joel tense a little. You tried to raise your head, but he suddenly relaxed and tucked your head back to his chest with his left hand. You realized the next track was “Amazed,” and you started to smile.

Sure enough, Joel ducked his head and put his lips right to your ear as he started to sing along softly with the song. You closed your eyes and let his deep voice wash over you.

I don't know how you do what you do I'm so in love with you It just keeps gettin' better I wanna spend the rest of my life With you by my side Forever and ever Every little thing that you do Baby I'm amazed by you

He sang through the first chorus, but then trailed off. He slowly stopped swaying you back and forth. You raised your head, and he let you this time. His eyes caught yours as he stepped back from you, your brow furrowed in confusion as he took a deep breath.

And then he dropped to one knee. 

Your hands flew up to cover your mouth, eyes wide, as Joel reached into his pocket and revealed a small black box. Your whole body was tingling and you sucked in a sharp breath.

He said your name softly as he opened the box, not breaking eye contact once.

“I was planning to wait until New Year’s Eve, bring you out here at midnight and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. But when you came home earlier, you looked so goddamn beautiful and so right, here in our home. I couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Darlin’, I started falling in love with you standing in my driveway, watching you smile at me and our daughter over those bushes. I didn’t let myself admit it right away, but that’s the truth of it. And then I spent months falling deeper and deeper, sitting with you on your back porch, ‘n every new thing I learned about you just pulled me in more. But I was stuck in my own fear until that day you watched over our girl and took such good care of her and told me you loved her. And I knew it then. I knew you were the one for me, the one for us, and I needed to stop being so afraid to let you in.”

You realized you’d started crying and you wiped away your tears, a huge smile taking over your face. Joel watched you intently and visibly powered through it instead of reaching out to you.

“Every moment with you blows me away, baby. I didn’t think I would ever be this happy. I want to spend the rest of my life making you smile just like that, hearing about your day, watching you be a mom to our little girl, holding you when you need comfort, marveling at how smart you are. I want to bump shoulders in the kitchen as we do dishes together and catch you as you stumble when you’re too tired after a night of dancing to make it up the stairs. I want to dance with you every day, even when we’re old and our backs hurt with every step. I want to watch you watch our daughter grow up. I want to see you every morning when I wake up and I want your cold feet to snuggle under mine in bed. I want to spend every night in bed with you, touching you and kissing you and making you come so hard your legs shake.” He grins and winks at you, and you laugh. You can’t help it.

“I love you so much, darlin’. I want to take the long way with you. I want you here, with us, together, for the rest of our days. Will you marry me?” 

You flung yourself at him before he even finished the question, and he caught you around the waist, laughing and keeping the both of you from toppling over. 

“Yes! I love you so much, Joel Miller. Yes, I’ll marry you. I want all of that too. I want it so bad, baby.” He grinned at you, and you saw he’d teared up a bit too. You were both a mess, teary and smiling, as he slipped the ring onto your finger.

You both looked at it for a moment, stunned, before he took your hand and raised it to his lips, kissing the back of your fingers with his eyes closed. He whispered, “I never saw you coming, darlin’, you took my breath away from the first moment.” He opened his eyes and when he met your gaze he smiled, slow. “Come here, pretty girl.” He pulled you in by your hand and drew you into a deep, slow kiss that stole your breath. With his left hand at your back he lowered you onto the blanket he’d put out, nestled under the trees. 

Joel hovered over you, pressing small kisses all over your face and trailing down your neck. You threaded your fingers through his hair and sighed. 

“Let me make you feel good, baby.” He moved to take off your clothes at the same time your hands moved to his buttons. After a bit of laughter and fumbling, both of you were stripped bare, right there in the yard, hidden by the trees. He looked down at you from where he hovered above you on all fours, cock already hard and hanging heavy between his legs. 

“Look at you, beautiful. Laid out for me all perfect, wearing nothing but my ring.” He dipped down to pull your nipple into his mouth, and you moaned. “That’s right baby, let me hear you.” He reached over and turned up the volume on the boombox slightly. 

You moved your left hand to cup his face, and he immediately turned into it to kiss where your ring sat on your finger. “What do you want, pretty girl?”

You reached down and held his cock lightly in your right hand. You wanted what you knew would drive him over the edge – what always made him lose control. “I want you to fuck my face, baby.”

He groaned, dropping his head to your chest. “Fuck.”

“I want you to come up here and feed me your cock. Come on, cowboy.” You moved your hands to his hips and urged him forward. 

“Baby, I want–“ he started to protest.

You pulled his head up so he had to meet your gaze. “Fuck. My. Mouth.” You could see him shudder, his eyes blown wide as his mouth dropped open. He scrambled to do as you asked. 

His big thighs came up to surround you, sturdy on either side of your head. You hummed, pleased. He leaned forward to find the right angle and you stuck out your tongue to meet the tip of his cock as it lowered towards your face. He groaned loudly. His hips moved closer, suddenly, like it was out of his control. You opened your mouth and extended your tongue, flat. 

Joel was breathing fast, but he lowered his hips perfectly so that the head of his cock landed right on your tongue. You realized he must have been watching and tilted your head back to look. You met his gaze, upside down, his head hanging between his shoulders. He looked completely undone and you’d barely touched him. You smiled as he slowly sank the head of his cock into your wide open mouth. 

He groaned as he pushed inside, not too far yet. He knew you loved this, and he fucking loved it too, but he was always a little afraid of hurting you at first. Always cautious. You positioned your mouth and throat so that he could push father, but he pulled back out and you hummed. You reached up and lightly slapped his ass cheek before grabbing his hips to urge him forward. 

“Ok, baby, ok. I just don’t want to choke you.” He breathed out a laugh, sounding completely wrecked. You pinched his ass. “Ok, I know, I don’t want to choke you too much.” This time he sank down further and you tried to open your throat to welcome him in. You swirled your tongue over his shaft as the tip of his cock kissed the back of your throat. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck baby that feels so fucking good. Fuck.” He pulled back out and, a bit faster, thrust back inside. You hummed and squeezed your thighs together at the feeling. You were already getting wet.

Slowly, steadily, he started to actually fuck into your mouth. You encouraged him with your hands on his ass and your moans every time he went a little bit farther, a little bit deeper. You could hear him, cursing and murmuring quietly about how good it was, but the blood started to rush in your ears as he settled into it. 

You pressed your tongue to the tip of his cock the next time he pulled out and then sucked, hard, on his next thrust. His hips jumped forward and his cock sank slightly farther into your throat. You choked, just a little, and immediately held onto his ass to keep him from pulling out. “Oh baby, your mouth is fucking perfect,” he growled, accepting that you wanted him right there, down your throat, not moving until you let him. “You want to choke on it that bad? You got it, pretty girl.”

He started thrusting a little deeper, pushing the head of his cock into your throat every time. You moaned, encouraging him, and realized tears were streaming down your face. You clenched your thighs together, pussy dripping wet, overcome by the sound and the feeling of him starting to use your throat. 

On his next thrust you slipped a finger in between his ass cheeks and his hips stuttered forward, almost sinking his entire cock into your mouth. Joel cried out as you choked and your throat tightened around him, before pulling out suddenly and yanking you up the blanket towards him. 

“Holy fucking shit, baby, what did I do to deserve you? Such a good fucking girl for me. You take my cock so fucking well.” He wiped the tears from your eyes and leaned down to lick across your lips before kissing you deeply, tasting himself and groaning loudly. “I need to be inside you, pretty girl.”

“You were, baby.” Your voice was husky, throat a little raw, and he shuddered at the sound. 

“Let me fuck this pretty pussy, baby, I want to make you feel good.” He lifted your knees to your chest, opening you up to him. “I need to put my cock inside this perfect little hole. Fill it up.”

“I do feel good, Joel.” You smiled, dreamily, watching him look at your pussy and lick his lips. 

“I can see that, honey.” You were sure the look on your face was totally blissed out. It’s how you felt. “I want you to feel even better.” As he said it his fingers moved from your legs to your pussy and he moaned. “You’re so fucking wet, is this just from sucking my cock?” You nodded. “Such a good fucking girl for me. Getting so wet just from having my cock in your mouth. Like I already filled you up and you’re dripping, leaking everywhere. So needy, baby.”

“I love your cock, Joel. Love the way it tastes. Love choking on it.” You reached for him, but he leaned down before you could pull him towards you and licked your pussy, tongue flat, from your hole to your clit. You whined and fisted your hands in the blanket. 

“You taste good too, baby. So fucking good.” He lowered his head again and slipped his tongue inside of you, holding you open with his hands behind your thighs. You squirmed, trying to thrust your hips towards his mouth. He twisted his tongue, closed his mouth over your hole, and sucked lightly. You moaned. 

He pulled his face away, gasping. “I need to be inside you, baby.”

You nodded, pulling him towards you. His eyes were dark and his gaze burned into you, making your breath stutter.

“I’m going to fuck your so good, honey. ‘M going to fill this tight little hole, stuff it full of my cock, stretch you open and make it mine.” He leaned down and kissed you as the tip of his cock nestled at your entrance, your legs still wide open for him.

“It’s already yours, Joel. I’m all yours.”

“That’s right, baby. For the rest of our lives.” With that, he pushed forward and sank his cock inside you, slowly, inch by inch. You threw your head back and whined as his hips met yours. You felt stretched full, a perfect fit. He stopped there and watched you for a moment before leaning down and kissing you, so softly and gently it made your breath catch. 

He moved his lips to your ear and whispered, softly, “I am going to ruin this pretty pussy, baby.”

You moaned, clenching down on his cock and twisting your fingers through his hair. “Please, Joel. Do it.”

He moved his face back above yours, giving you a cocky half smile. He pulled out slowly, met your eyes, and then slammed back into you. You could feel your chest heaving as he set a wild pace, strokes fast and deep. You thrust your hips to meet his, panting. He moved his left hand to where it belonged, holding the back of your neck in a strong grip as he held himself up on his elbows.

Joel leaned down slowly towards you, the move totally at odds with the devastating pace he was setting with his cock. You could feel his breath on your lips. He slipped his tongue towards you and brushed it lightly along your bottom lip, teasing you, holding your neck in place when you tried to surge forward to meet him. The soft pressure combined with the feeling of his cock hitting you just right inside made you whine and close your eyes. 

“That’s it, baby. You’re always such a good girl, fucking taking what I give you like you were made to do it.” He leaned to the right and nipped lightly at your jaw. You tried to tilt your head to give him more room but his grip on your neck held you in place, right where he wanted you. He shifted his weight to his left elbow, picking up his right hand and grasping your hip to encourage you as you met his thrusts. He scraped his teeth down your neck.

“Being with you feels like a miracle, baby. It’s so fucking good every time. A man could lose himself in this pussy.” His hips stuttered. “Wish I could stay right here inside you all damn day.”

You felt tears forming at the corners of your eyes as he kept his steady pace, fucking into you, holding your body where he wanted it. “Joel, please.” You couldn't help but beg him even though you didn’t know what you were begging for. You scratched your nails down his back, feeling his muscles moving beautifully under his skin.

“Shhh, let me give it to you. Just take it, honey. That’s it. Be my good girl.” You held your breath as he whispered in your ear, as his right hand moved to your clit. He began to dance his fingers over it in time with his thrusts and you suddenly felt your orgasm, which had been building steadily, coming for you like a meteor. 

“Joel!”

As you cried out his name, you felt yourself clench around his cock, coming so hard you swore you heard ringing in your ears. He moaned your name, low and guttural, and sank his teeth into your shoulder. His hips stuttered and his fingers pinched lightly at your clit as both of you flew over the edge. His orgasm stirred yours higher and your hands went lax. You saw stars dancing in your vision as he ground his cock into you, almost smothering you with his weight.

His hips stilled, but neither of you moved. You both sucked in deep breaths and tried to slow your racing hearts. You could feel his in his chest, beating strong and fast. 

Slowly, Joel lifted his head to meet your gaze. You realized with sudden alarm that he was crying.

“Baby, what–”

He cut you off with a kiss, so soft and gentle it soothed you. He whispered your name.

“How did I get so lucky as to find you, honey?” He spoke right into your mouth, seeming unable to move back, unable to stop kissing you. “I’ve never been so happy. Never knew it could be like this.”

You mustered the strength to move your arms, slipping them around his waist. “I’m the lucky one, Joel. I’ve never been loved this good. No one’s ever come close. I didn’t even realize what I was missing before you.”

He hummed, kissing along your jaw softly. “Maybe we’re both lucky. Sure do fit together like this is how it’s meant to be.” He ground his hips into yours a bit, emphasizing his point. You laughed.

“Well, you know how much I love your cock.”

He smiled, but hid it in your neck, licking and kissing his way down and back up. “Just my cock? I see how it is.” He kissed your ear before biting down on it lightly.

You laughed again, and considered continuing the joke, but you couldn’t. Not that day. You moved your hands up to take his face gently between them, bringing his gaze to meet yours.

“I love you, Joel Miller, every part of you, with all of my heart. I can’t wait to marry you. Every part of me belongs to you and our family. I never want to be without you ever again.” He looked stunned and then he smiled so wide you couldn’t help but return it. 

“We’re getting married.” He looked elated as he said it, like he’d forgotten and only just remembered. You grinned.

“Yeah, cowboy, we are. You even swept me off my feet.” You kicked at his ankles a bit, reminding him. He laughed.

Slowly, he reached down to pull out of you, humming as he felt his cum spill out of you with his cock. He fingered you lightly, pushing it around and making a mess. You raised your eyebrows at him and he grinned ruefully. “Ok, ok.”

He moved to the side and laid down, pulling you in so your head was resting on his chest and your leg was thrown over his. He tugged the part of the blanket you weren’t lying on over the two of you, holding you tight against him. You knew you’d want to go inside and clean up soon — you’d started to notice again how chilly it was — but for now you relaxed into his embrace. You were both quiet, reveling in the moment.

“I feel like you should have something, too,” you mused.

“What do you mean?” Joel picked up your left hand from where it rested on his chest and toyed with your ring before kissing your fingers. “I’ll get my own ring real soon.”

“I just want to get you something. Like, an engagement watch or belt buckle or something.” 

Joel burst into laughter, eyes crinkling. “A belt buckle? Baby, I don’t think that’s a thing.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him and tried not to laugh. “Well, we’ll just have to make it a thing, won’t we?” He laughed so hard he almost bounced you off his chest and onto the blanket. You grinned, making a mental note to enlist Sarah’s help to definitely get him an engagement belt buckle – the cheesiest one you could find, and soon. 

…

Later, when Tommy and Sarah got home, they found you dancing in the kitchen to the mix CD Joel and Sarah had made you the Christmas before, laughing and singing along to “Forever and Ever, Amen” as you made dinner. Sarah immediately gasped and zeroed in on the ring on your finger before you could even say anything. She screamed and jumped across the room to hug you both.

“Finally! I thought you were never going to do it.” She pinched her dad in the side and he squirmed away.

“Hey! I told you I was planning on New Year’s, you little meddler.” He was smiling wide as he teased her.

“Is this what you’ve been so excited about?” you wonder aloud. 

Sarah nodded at you, bouncing on her toes. “We bought the ring a month ago! Do you like it?”

“I love it, sweetheart, thank you. It’s beautiful.” She beamed at you and hugged you again. You laughed, holding on tight. Tommy came in and squished all four of you together in a hug. 

“Welcome to the family, sunshine!” He pulled you away from Joel and started dancing you around the room as Sarah and Joel laughed. “You’re stuck with us now.”

You grinned as he spun you around, catching Joel’s eye. “Stuck, huh? But there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

...

Jackson, Early Fall 2024

After that night you and Joel can be found together more often than not.

You don’t move in together, not yet – you want Ellie to be comfortable, and that’s more important than anything else. 

But you spend a lot of nights in each other's beds.

At first it surprises you, how quickly the two of you fall together again. But it shouldn’t, really. Just like you told Joel, the core of who you are is still the same, and who you are together was always something special. Something that had burrowed so deep inside of you, had become so much a part of you, that you’d mourned a part of yourself when it was lost. You’d assumed it was gone for good, right up until the moment Joel Miller touched you again. 

You have some difficult conversations, difficult in the sense that it’s hard for the both of you to talk about some parts of your past. But just like Before, Joel is there to catch you when you stumble over your words, there to hold you when the memories are too strong. You do the same for him.

And when Tommy and Maria’s baby is born in early summer, you’re there for each other for the hard moments and memories that come along with all of the good ones. (Ellie takes to her baby cousin Isabela and the joy of being the big cousin with wonder and enthusiasm – they’re like two peas in a pod of chaos. You still wish Sarah was there every day, but seeing them together heals you a bit, too.) 

Later in the summer, once he can come up for air after the baby is born, Tommy shows the three of you the lake near Jackson. Joel takes the opportunity to teach Ellie to swim, which results in a couple of hilarious afternoons with both Joel and Tommy ending up soaking wet when they don’t mean to be. You laugh at them from the grass nearby (or sometimes from the lake, with Ellie).

In early fall, on what seems like one of the last warm days of the year, the five of you go out to the lake. Maria leaves Isabela with her closest friend, taking advantage of the summer weather while you still have it. (You were surprised Maria wanted to come, since no one wanted to bring the baby outside the walls of Jackson, but she just shrugged and said she was getting stir crazy and wanted to spend the afternoon with family, that it would only be a couple of hours, anyway. Her smile was a little too knowing, a little suspicious. You’d narrowed your eyes, sure something was up, but couldn’t figure out what.) It’s a day off from work and school and Ellie bounces along beside you, excited to be out exploring. She’s adjusting well, but still needs to get away sometimes. 

You and Joel are walking slowly around the edge of the lake as Ellie and Tommy invent some sort of splashing game with extremely complex rules (that mostly result in Tommy getting soaked and Ellie grinning like a little demon the whole time). Maria just watches and laughs at their antics from her comfortable spot on a blanket next to the lake. Whatever the game is, they’re clearly having fun, and you leave them to it. 

Joel takes your right hand in his left, intertwining your fingers and squeezing, and says, “I still can’t really believe it, that we get to have all of this again.”

“I know what you mean. It’s starting to make the 20 years in between feel like a dream, which seems impossible.” He nods, agreeing. “I don’t think either of us will ever be unaffected,” you share a glance and the knowledge that both of you still have nightmares and rough days, “but it seems too good to be true.”

He pulls your hand up to his lips, kissing the back of it softly. “You know, Ellie pointed something out to me the other day.”

You turn to look at him when he doesn’t say anything more. “Oh?” You elbow him a little to urge him on. He smiles, one corner of his mouth lifting.

“We were talking about Before, and she pointed out that technically, we’ve been engaged for almost 22 years now. You know, we never officially called it off or anything.” 

You stumble a little and laugh, wondering where he’s going with this. “I mean, technically, she’s right.”

Joel grins at your reply and pulls you to stop, turning you to face him by grabbing your other hand. “And technically,” he winks, “that’s probably long enough for an engagement. We could probably, well. We could get married, um. If we wanted.” He looks a little shy, somehow, even after everything you’ve been through. 

Your breath catches in your throat. And for some reason the question that comes out is, “do people still do that?” 

He laughs, crinkling his nose at your question. “Yeah, I asked Tommy. Sounds like at least around here, people still do that.” Of course they do, you realize it as he says it – Tommy and Maria are married, after all. 

“I…” you trail off, words leaving you, overcome by a possibility that you hadn't once stopped to consider. He sees how surprised you are and tries to talk you through it.

“You know, there’s not one particular way, sounds like people just do whatever seems right to them, with a few witnesses or sometimes a party at the Bison or something. Something they like.” 

Your brain is coming back online and with it the force of your desire to be married to this man. It emerges from somewhere deep within you, pushed down and ignored for so many years because of how much it hurt to think about. You never stopped wanting it, not really, you only stopped being able to have it. It was out of reach for so long that it didn’t occur to you that you could have it now, even with Joel right in front of you, miraculously alive. You start to smile and he straightens up, smiling back and looking relieved.

“It’s just too bad we don’t have any kind of rings, you know?” He continues. You clear your throat, suddenly awkward, and he narrows his eyes at you. He knows you far too well. “What?”

“Well,” you start, “maybe we do have some rings.”

“Rings?” Joel’s eyes go wide as he emphasizes the end of the word, clearly incredulous both at their possible existence and at the idea that there might somehow be more than one ring available to you.

“I might have held something back, from the shoebox.” His mouth drops open and he pulls you closer. “I held onto mine, somehow, never lost it. I didn’t wear it of course, but I kept it close and never had it stolen.” He’s shaking his head in disbelief, looking down at your hands that are still clutched in his own like he might find it there on your finger, somehow unnoticed until now. “And then when I went back to the house, I found them. In your sock drawer.” He squeezes your hands so hard and looks so shocked you worry he might fall over.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” It’s a fair question.

“Well, at first it was like the rest of the shoebox – I was just waiting for a good time to tell you about it, and I did as soon as I could. But the rings…” You sighed. “I was trying not to push, you know? You said slow, and I agreed.”

“But we left slow behind months ago, darlin’.” He tugs you in closer, letting go of your hands to move his around your waist. You slide yours up his chest to his shoulders. 

“I know, but well, two reasons. One, it honestly hadn’t seemed possible in so long that I sort of… assumed people didn’t get married anymore. And two, well. It seemed kind of fast, to just bring it up right away. Hey, thanks for the mind-blowing orgasms, did you still want your wedding ring? Then I just made it more difficult by waiting and got all in my head about it.” He laughed and pulled your face into his chest, kissing along your hairline. 

“You could’ve said that. The orgasm thing. We have been engaged for 22 years, after all.” You can feel him laughing as he says it and for a second you marvel at the idea that it’s something you can both joke about. “Let me help get you out of your head, baby. We can work it out together.” He pulls back and to your surprise, for the second time in your life, Joel drops to one knee in front of you. His hands go to your hips and yours to his arms. He holds you up as your knees suddenly feel weak.

“I can’t beat that first proposal, I don’t think, especially not with our family right over there. So I’ll just say that I love you, darlin’, and I never stopped. I can’t believe I get another chance at spending the rest of my life with you. I’m not letting it pass me by. We were made for each other, after all.” You smile, and feel tears slip down your cheeks, just like last time. He squeezes your hips. “I know it won’t be easy all the time, but I’d rather handle the hard things together than apart. Even when the hard things come from us.” 

His eyes are looking a little teary, too, and he says your name softly. “It turns out we really did take the long way ‘round, but I’d like to go the rest of the way with you by my side, however long it turns out to be. Will you marry me, darlin’?”

You say yes, of course. You say yes, and fall into his arms again, just like last time. Joel draws you into a kiss, both of you on your knees, and then laughs when you slide your hand into his back pocket and squeeze. 

“We’re too old for me to take you right here on the ground like last time, baby, and we’ve got an audience anyway.” You look up to see Tommy, Maria and Ellie are all watching you, grinning. When you make eye contact with them they start cheering. It’s ridiculous and it makes you tear up again. Joel leans forward to whisper in your ear as they come running towards you, “I promise, honey, I’ll give it to you so good when we get home that you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” You shiver. 

You rise, just as Ellie arrives and throws herself at you both, getting you all wet with lake water. She smiles at you both and starts to poke at Joel as Tommy walks up behind her. 

“Well, what am I supposed to do, sunshine, welcome you to the family a second time? It don’t make any sense.” He grins at you, and pulls you into a hug. Maria is right behind him with another, and you realize that all three of them must have known what Joel was going to ask you today. 

Ellie looks up from where she’s teasing Joel mercilessly for being such a romantic. “Hey, why does he call you sunshine, anyway?”

Joel and Tommy start laughing, and you roll your eyes. “Come on, I’ll tell you the story on the way back.” 

“Aw come on, it’s not a long story,” Tommy grins as he needles you. He looks at Ellie. “We were at some bar and this guy wouldn’t leave her alone, got so far as putting his hand up her shirt. After she’d already pushed him away a couple times. She was dancing, we were over by the bar.”

Joel chimes in, “She took care of him, though. Didn’t need any help.” He’s grinning.

Tommy nods. “Yeah, it was beautiful. She grabbed him by the shoulders, shouted, ‘watch where you put your hands if you want to keep ‘em, fucker’ and kneed him straight in the di– erm, junk.” Tommy corrects himself, glancing at Joel. Ellie rolls her eyes.

“You can say dick. I’m not a fucking child.” Ellie crosses her arms and frowns at Tommy. Joel sighs, long-suffering, but you know he’s hiding a laugh. 

“Anyway,” Tommy shrugs, “the fucker folded in half right there on the dance floor, just fell right over and groaned. Everyone around them turned and laughed at him.” Tommy pretends to wipe a tear away from his eye. “He had to army crawl off the dance floor and creep his way outside. Truly, one of the most beautiful sights I ever saw.”

“Ok that is like, fucking awesome obviously, but it doesn’t explain the nickname.” Ellie raises her eyebrow at Tommy.

Joel and Tommy start snickering again. The absolute dorks.

“Sure, yeah, but you know,” Tommy snorts and says gleefully, “she got him where the sun don’t shine.” He and Joel laugh again, louder this time, leaning into each other. This time you roll your eyes, even as Ellie laughs, too. Tommy’s still just as pleased with himself for coming up with that nickname, more than 20 years later. He’s got the same look on his face as he did outside of the bar, crowing about the way you took the guy down. 

You and Ellie and Maria leave them there, leaning against each other and laughing, as you walk arm in arm back to where you left the horses. 

...

a/n: that’s it, y’all. Thank you for reading!! Every single one of your comments has meant so much to me. Please let me know what you think of the ending?

I bet I’ll add some drabbles showing some of this stuff that didn’t fit in the story. To answer your probable questions:

Yes, you get married. (Your rings don’t actually fit anymore, but neither of you care. You have them, that’s enough. And later you pass them on to Ellie.)

Yes, you do show Jackson how it’s done, dancing at the bar. You even bring out the mix CD. 

I handwaved the cure and resulting issues here but just know that however it went, they took care of it. 

You and Joel do talk about Tess and Michelle and everything else that happened. You tell Ellie all about Sarah and the extended family she would have had in Texas. Talking about them hurts but seeing her wonder, hearing about her huge family, helps. 

You and Ellie talk about Michelle and she eventually opens up to you about her crush on Cat, bringing the two of you closer together. 

Joel still sings to you in the kitchen and dances with you in the backyard. 

You’re all happy, in the end. It’s hard, and sometimes it’s so hard you think it might not work out. But it always does, and you’re happy. Together. 

Tag list

@morgaussy @jay-zzle @bluetattoos @dins-riduur-anthe @huffle-punk @poodlebae

[dayslynthesix]

i was thinking about it while i was listening to a podcast and ill give it a go, hope you enjoy this one because i love the idea, reader (whos gonna have a name because i cant write for y/n anymore and i dont know why is a redbull engineer who happens to have a podcast

Getaway Car | Charles Leclerc x podcaster!reader

When Anna Zedra accepted the job as junior engineering at RedBull racing, she never thought that a job on the navy blue team would also give her a boyfriend. A boyfriend who used to drive for the infamous red team. A boyfriend who wanted so bad to be world champion but who could never won on that team. Everything started in 2022, middle of the season, pole and no win. And again. And again. And it started to get exhausting. Until Austria. Charles won on Redbull ring, and he thought it would be different. But it wasn't. As the season went on, Christian and the entire team were keeping an eye on his performance. RedBull offered a 2 years contract, they would pay him out of Ferrari, he didn't signed. But Charles had kept that contract in his drawer for the most part of the 2023 season, until COTA, and after that disastrous race, he called Christian, and that called lead to a meeting and a meeting lead to the Brazilian GP, who leads to the cover of all the sports magazine "Charles Leclerc signs with RedBull Racing for the 2024 season."

When Anna Zedra accepted the job as junior engineering at RedBull racing, her podcast was already a success into the motorsport. The All About Racing was an informative podcast who almost every month received a new guest. The 2022 season was marked by almost everyone making an appearance on the podcast. Max, Daniel, Christian, even Lewis Hamilton agreed to be on one of the episodes - and it was one of the most streamed episodes of the platform.

When Charles and Anna started to see each other, during the 2023 Italian GP, he was yet under Ferrari contract, but every once in a while he made a comment here and there about wanting to be on the podcast. Once the 2024 season started, and Anna was designed as his race engineer, and he was announced as the second driver of the team, they made a deal, they would record the episode after the first race and it would be released after his first win of the team. Charles wasn't expecting to win so soon, but he claimed his firts victory at the Saudi Arabia GP, he won the race with 15s to second place. So the podcast was aired during the middle of the night, because a deal is a deal.

Podcast transcription:

Anna: Hello everyone and welcome back to All About Racing, just for a little announcement, this podcast was recorded on the march 2nd, right after the Bahrein Grand Prix and as you know, our guest for today episode is no one else but Charles Leclerc. Welcome, Charles, thank you so much for being here today. I know how it went, but tell us, how it went qualy and the race?

Charles: Hello Anna. Thank you for having me and lets pretending you had a choice on that *laughs* Qualy went very well for the team, first qualy with RedBull and we had a 1-2 for the team, Max did an amazing lap on q3, but I'm very happy with the results, the car feels amazing and I'm very proud of my lap as well. The race was very good as well, the car is incredible reliable and it felt amazing to be on that podium. Aiming the highest spot nex week

Anna: Im very happy to listen that the car feels nice, I spend a lot of time working on that project. Adrian Newey learned everything he knows from me. Jokes a part, I know your dream was to win with Ferrari, for your dad, for Jules, for your young self, so how does it feels to move to RedBull after 5 years with Ferrari?

Charles: I mean... it was a tough call. I always wanted to drive for Ferrari, win on the red car, put a flag in Maranello, and in some level I did those things, I won with them, I was very happy in Monza in 2019, and I had some very incredible moments with the team and the tifosi and all related. My dad would be so happy for me to drive for them, I wanted to keep Jules legacy alive and so far being compared to him is still the most amazing thing I could ever experience. But it came a moment that I knew that I couldn't do more than what I was already doing, the car was very difficult to drive and it didn't suited my driving style and a lot of bad stuf kept happening and slowly it was killing me, it was killing my faith in myself and I wasn't believing in me, or the driver I am. It hurt a lot the moment I decided to leave, not to wear red in Monza or not to recieve the tifosi love... I thought it was over, if I wasn't a Ferrari driver I thought I would be no one. And then Christian and I we talked and I signed that contract and I drove the RB20 and everything clicked, Christian let me do something that I don't think is pretty common, but earlier this year I went on a private practice with the last 2 RBR cars, and I remember, like, feeling the car and suddenly the driver I am was awaken again, and I felt my confidence again and it just made sense. After the announcement I was so afraid of what the tifosi would say to me and I was so surprised of the amount of love I kept receiving. Yeah, I am no longer a Ferrari driver, I was for 5 years and I loved being part of the red team, but it came a point of a driver career that we need to make the choices which are better for our inner driver, not just ourselves. And I am immensely happy with RedBull, with the car and the team and everything.

Anna: Wow, that was very deep, you and I we alredy had this same conversation but is still very warming to listen to all of that again and to know that you are happy with the team, we are also very happy with you wearing navy blue. You said you're very happy and all, but walk us through your relationship with Max and how beeing teammates is working so far. We are insanely happy that there was no inchidents on the race.

Charles: *laughs* Oh my God, you'll never gonna let go, are you? Max and I we became pretty close om track during late season of 2019 and of track in 2022, we spent a lot of time playing padel and tennis and alson on the sim. We drive pretty much the same way, so it is very easy for the team to build a car that suits us both. During the race today we spend solid 25 laps fighting for position, he is way more used with the car than I am, so he won that one, but I am coming for him next race, there was no incidents and I'm pretty positive we will keep this way. We work fine on track, and Christian made us swear that whatever happens on track, stay on track.

Anna: Well done. No more inchidents, I see. There's people making comments on twitter and instagram about teams orders and first and second driver... what do you have to say about it?

Charles: No team orders, Max and I are free to fight as long as there's no risk of compromising each others position or the team, if theresa risk whomever is faster will get priority and the slowest will defend. Choosing a first and second driver is very good for car development, but considering that our driving style is very close there's no need to chose in which direction the car will go, whatever suits Max will most likely suit me as well. Obviously, as the season will developing, if theresa risk or a driver coming very close in points, the one who has more point will get priority as well, which is fair. And Max and I we are definitely not allowed to pull a Baku 2018 or a Spain 2016.

Anna: As a engineer and e RedBull employee I was already very familiar with that. You seems to be very close to a few drivers, how do you think being this close to others drivers helped to improve your driving skills?

Charles: I didn't have the amount of teammates Lewis had, for example, but I was teammate with Seb for 2 seasons and it was such a great experience to learn from him, to be close, to see how he thinks and how he matches with the car and all of that helped me a lot on how I would connect myself with the car as well, I've learned to be patient, to trust my institution and principally understand how the car is working and how to merge with a car who does not suit me 100%. When I signed with RedBull I called my mom, obviously and Seb was the second person I've called and I remembered exactly what he told me all the years we raced together, to not to waste my talent. I'm very close to Lewis as well, we went surfing last year and we have a lot in common, as drivers and as human beings. Not ironically, Jenson Button was around during last year and we've spent some time together as well, I was trying to learn how to be more smooth and he told me not to do that, because the way I drive today is the way I've learned how to drive and that's what gives me speed.

Anna: Lately we all have been talking about woman in formula one, it is another of our conversations so i already know all your thoughts but the audience doesn't, so please, elucidate us with your thoughts.

Charles: I don't think it should have this separation between man and woman in motorsport, it is not like they can't tolerate the conditions of a track you know? I think with F1 academy we are miles closer to have a woman in F1 than we were a few years ago but we are also miles away from it. One, I don't think there's a lot of teams who would "take the risk" and two I think for the comments I've read online that it isn't fair for any woman to have to deal with that, you know? Not performing well is a shot in the ego and all this comments put together is harmful. I watch volleyball, it is a strange habit that I've developed with Jenson because his wife is a volleyball player and those girls are playing two and a half hours match, they're running all the court, they're jumping and throwing themselves on the floor and like the gym time? Insane. Tennis as well, there's a few matches that are hours long and they are playing high level tennis and tennis is a very aggressive sport... so like I don't think the "woman doesn't have the physical to formula one" because it is not true. F1 is still a very exclusive sport, especially if you bring sponsors and teams are not comfortable of letting money go, there's 20 of us, soon to be 22 or 24 if Porsche and Audi make it and there's nothing on regulation that prohibits woman in F1, it would be very nice if one of those new teams go for a woman line up. RedBull last year had a reserve driver who performed amazingly, it was like she could see physically the track, the lines and kerbs. I'm all for woman in motorsport, Max and I we went to a girls karting track in Germany during the winter break and they are very talented.

Anna: Race weekend after race weekend I saw people on twitter talking about how they think you are not a F1 champion material, how you should be more vocal about what you want... everything someone who never been inside a F1 car could tell about it. How do you keep you mentality strong? We all know that you can perform under pressure. You won in Monza with 2 Mercedes pressuring you, you won in Austria with a throttle issue. You won your F2 championship after your dad passed away, you kept going for Jules... that's all very different of the kinda of pressure every other driver suffered during their careers.

Charles: I mean, I don't have to prove myself anymore. I impressed who I had to impress, I won a F3 and F2 championship. I'm here. I'm driving a F1 car every sunday. I've won in Formula One, so there's no one else that I have to impress anymore. I'm not calling the team out on the radio during a race, I don't think that's how you fix things, and I think it is the kind of thing that you talk privately with your team behind garage doors. I'm the one who's driving, the team is the one who have tha data, the difference between the car in front of me and the car behind me, the window we have to pit, the tyres we can use and the omes that makes the car performs better. The team needs to have their best interests to maximize the points on that weekend. It is not my job to do more than drive. But one thing is for sure, I'm the one who's driving, who's feeling the car, and once I tell the team that pitting for hards is a bad choice and that we need to pit for medium, because I am feeling the car, and they don't listen to me, that's out of my hands. I'll take full responsibility for my own mistakes. Imola in 2022? It was on me. France 2022? It was my fault. I'll take that, I accept that and I'll learn with those mistakes and I will do better the next time. Just because I don't scream on the radio and expose the team to the media it does means that I will not call them out privately. And people talk about it because they are not the one who is inside that cockpit.

Anna: You've been doing your job brilliantly. Everyone who truly understands F1 knows that, you wouldn't be driving for Ferrari in your second year if you weren't a good driver. Or for RedBull, and God knows the amount of years we were waiting for this to happen.

Charles: It is happening now. And about my dad and Jules... I was doing my job, I mourned my father after that race, I've cried and I've missed him ever since, I kept going for him and for the legacy Jules was building in F1. I had to prove myself to them, and to my mom. People can say whatever they want to, and if they think they know more about strategy and power units and stuff they can apply to work in F1. I like the pressure. I think it makes me a better driver. Winning when there's no one challenging you it not my type of victory. I like being challenged, that's why I liked being Seb's teammate. He was 4 times champion of the world, he knew he was good, I knew it too, but he never backed down to a challenge.

Anna: I miss Seb. I think deep down we all miss him more than we let him see. Do you think that because of the challenges you and Max will perform better?

Charles: Max is coming for a season and a half without competition. He was winning with 15 seconds to the second place, and every time we fought wheel to wheel tha past season we talked after and it was such a thrill. Our driving style being so close makes it very possible for us to fight the way we like, so yeah, I think the pressure to perform well and the challenge to win Max will make me a better driver.

Anna: Do you have any funny story to tell us about?

Charles: I have one about you and Max. Fun fact, untill December last year Anna didn't knew how to drive. Max tried to teach her and I think that for the first time in his life he failed miserable. I remember trying to teach you how to drive and failing as well. But there's one day that is very clear in my mind. We just got back from Interlagos 2022 and we went to a small city in Sao Paulo so I could teach you and the car kept dying, so you stormed out of the car and called Seb crying, and you were crying so hard that I almost started to cry as well. We went back to Monaco, a few weeks latter Seb pulled out in front ou your house, Jenson Button as his co-pilot and they take the matters in their own hands and for a week you went out for like 5 hours and once that week was over you were a better driver than I am.

Anna: Well, asking you to teach me how to drive was a amateur mistake, you don't know how to park parallel. But yeah, Seb and JB they were excellent teachers. Thank you Seb. Thank you JB.

Charles: How did you have a drivers license if you didn't know how to drive?

Anna: Having a drivers license doesn't imply that I know how to drive, just that I've learned what to do to pass my drivers test. How do you drive a F1 car and doesn't know how to drive a manual?

Charles: I'm re learning, ok? You are the one with the eccentric taste for manual cars.

Anna: Obviously, it took me ages to learn how to reduce a gear, why would I drive an automatic if the automatic doesn't have to switch gears?

Charles: You have a point. And yet you are doing great on the automatics.

Anna: Let's move to my least favorite subject ever, personal life, people are wondering, is Charles Leclerc on the market?

Charles: *laughs* No, he is not. I'm very much out of the market, and very much in love with a beautiful and strong and smart woman and even though she's not the jealous type I not looking anywhere else.

Anna: Walk us through on how you two meet?

Charles: Yeah, it is very funny actually, we meet after Austria, 2022 but we only started to hangout after Monza last year, she's very into motorsport and formula one and a very private person, so please, let's respect that.

Anna: People on twitter are thinking that she is a ghost because we never saw her on race weekends, I'm inclined to agree with them, Charlie.

Charles: That's mean. And you have seen her on the paddock, a lot actually.

Anna: Some day, I'll be living in a big old city and all you ever gonna be is mean. God, I love Taylor Swift. But yeah, I saw her once ir twice, very nice girl, and pretty, very pretty as well.

Charles: Stop talking about yourself on third person, baby, is very weird.

Anna: Yeah, Charles, go ahead and tell the whole world our most deep secrets.

Charles: Anna... Lando and Pierre already told half of the grid and half of the grid is just pretending they don't know. We are not that subtle.

Anna: Well, okay, cat is out of the jail everyone, Charles is not single anymore, and it's not gonna be for a while. But let's go for the important topic: Taylor Swift.

Charles: Just that? Taylor Swift? What do you want me to say? *laughs*

Anna: Tell the people your favorite album and tracks. I already know them but that's my privilege.

Charles: Reputation, obviously. I like Our Song and Karma. You drive listening to them so I kinda like them too, and Champagne Problems... wow, that one hit hard and also Lover, because I am in love and ok, I like everything.

Anna: Okay, moving forward. Answer with the first thing on your mind. Favorite ice cream flavor?

Charles: Vanilla. Don't you ever think about cracking the joke I know you're thinking.

Anna: Ok. I wont. Favorite track?

Charles: Monaco. But I love Baku as well.

Anna: Interlagos?

Charles: Senna. I love Interlagos because it brings me closer to him as I could never.

Anna: Favorite movie?

Charles: The one with weddings and funerals.

Anna: Would you go out with me after we finish this one?

Charles: That depends, will you go out with me after we finish this one?

Anna: So guys that's it. Hope you have enjoyed this episode as much as we did while recording it. I think this one will be out way sooner than we expect. See you in a couple of weeks to go through the first 4 races of the season. Thank you, Charlie.

Charles: Thank you. See you guys.

*cut*

Anna: Stop tickling me or I'll call Max and asks him to blow all your medium tyres.

Charles: You could never.

Anna: Yes, I would.

Charles: Let's go, baby, I'll take you to dinner and after we can go karting with the boys.

Anna: Max is texting me so I can tell you to answer him.

Charles: Oh difficult life, my teammate likes me more than I think he would.

Anna: Don't tease him, he's lonely, he needs a girlfriend, how about we introduce him to Gia?

Charles: *hysterically laughing* Gia would crash him like a bug. Let's do it.

allaboutracing

liked by f1, maxverstappen, charles_leclerc, redbullracing, pierregasly and 324.177 others

allaboutracing and we are back!! welcome to season 3 of all about racing podcast, this season we're about to have a few special guest, we're gonna talk about all formula one related, analyze the cars, the races and the track - while i conciliate the races and the tracks on my full time job, i hope you enjoy this season as much as i did.

redbullracing full time race engineer and podcaster, well done mini.

maxverstappen1 im still waiting for my invitation

sebastianvettel well done, kid!

f1 adm is already on play with the firts episode

leclercsainz i love how she just went on and did a full podcast just for us to understand more about racing

jbuttonwdc i would love to see jenson button on the podcast

roscoeloveslewis remember when last season she said that she wanted to bring the champs for the podcast?

charles_leclerc im hoping to be on the couch as well

february 1st 2024

allaboutracing

liked by jensonbutton, sebastianvettel, lewishamilton, f1, charles_leclerc and 344.754 others

allaboutracing we are officially back. the first guests of season 3 are no more than the 2009 world champion jenson button and the 4 time champion of the world sebastian vettel. it was amazing to speak with booth of them, about racing, retirement, life and the changes that are happening in formula one. jb episode will be available on march, the 7th and seb will be available on march, 21th. hope you enjoy it.

lewishamilton great guy and than there's jenson.

sebastianvettel thank you for having me!

jensonbutton same time next week?

f1 that what we asked for

jbuttonwdc KA8SJSUQUWHAUAUHQGU IM NOT OKAY

beesebs i miss sebastian vettel more than i miss my parents and i moved away in 2017

alonsoxswift everybody moved on and i stayed here

sv5ismydad i cannot believe that she convinced seb to be on the podcast, anna youre my personal hero

february 16th 2024

picsbyanna

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, redbullracind and 175.234 others

annazadra break is over, time to go back in track. insanely anxious to this season and very excited about the car that me, myself and i helped to build

maxverstappen1 lets hope you didnt put a shitty box with 3 weels after the little prank i pulled you

charles_leclerc lets go vroom vroom

redbullracing christian is calling you about something like "prank war"

danielricciardo i left redbull and now suddenly they have funny engineers again

comments on this post have been restricted

february 28th 2024

allaboutracing

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1 and 544.766 others

allaboutracing I've listening to you guys and i brought the monegasque favorite driver to the podcast. on the next episode we will talk about charles moving to redbull, what he expects of the team and the car, how he thinks his partnership will works with max, about racing on a general but we also want to know what you want on the podcast, so send you questions, se ya next week.

maxverstappen1 how can charles be on the podcast and im not?

allaboutracing max, you are so dramatic, you and the entire team have been on the podcast so far in season one

maxverstappen1 i want to go again

danielricciardo thing you can say during sex as well

maxverstappen1 this girl is taken, stop that

charles_leclerc it was a pleasure to talk to you, you were a wonderful host.

f1 next week? please, don't do this to us 🥲

march 3th 2024

redbullracing

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, allaboutracing, picsbyanna, lewishamilton and 877.265 others

redbullracing charles grabbed his first win with the team at the jeddah grand prix, well done charlie, we're insanely proud of you! ps: the all about racing: inside of charles leclerc mentality is out earlier to celebrate his victory, go listen to it.

picsbyanna wow, is he single?

march 10th 2024

[calmasyoghurt]

The joker out pride project.

One last chapter, in the form of letters. Also on ao3.

Chapter 30, prompt 27. Future/growing old.

January 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One month ago today I asked you to be my boyfriend. You said yes. It’s one of the best yes’s I’ve heard in my life. It got me the blessing of getting to stay over at your place, the blessing of kissing you good morning and good night, and the blessing of getting your mighty D. Sorry for that last part, but it had to be said. But that yes also got me a new years kiss. A new years kiss sweeter than any I’ve had before. When you pulled away, you didn’t wish me a happy new year, but a happy birthday instead. None of the other new year kisses I’ve had have even known my birthday. But you do, and you made sure to make that the subject of the first words you spoke this year.

One day I might let you know how special you make me feel. One day I might let you read this letter. One day I might tell you that I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved before. Because I do. Maybe I’m a lovesick idiot, or maybe I’m a sick idiot in love. Either way, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

February 3rd 2023

My dear Nace. Yesterday you officially met my parents for the first time. They absolutely loved you. It doesn’t surprise me, it’s quite difficult not to love you. Or maybe that’s just my opinion, seeing how I’m madly in love with you. I told you that yesterday too. Maybe I didn’t use those exact words, but as we were on our way to my parents house I told you that I love you for the first time. Your smile got so big, showing of those adorable dimples. Then you said you love me too and it made my heart melt. You make me so happy. Once again, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 1st 2023

My dear Nace. Today is the first day of pride month. Today we told the rest of the band that we’re together. Of course, Kris already knew. You knew that Kris knew. I tell him everything about me the second it happens. But he’s a really good secret keeper, he didn’t even tell Bojan. But today we told Bojan and Jure too. They were nothing but happy for us. It would have been weird otherwise, seeing how they’re also in gay relationships with people in the band/crew. I'm so happy for us too. I'm happy that I finally found a guy that I can see a future with. Because I can, I see a future with you Nace. I can see us moving in together, growing old together, maybe even getting married. If we do get married, then I'll give you these letters then. I'll continue to write to you until that day.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One year ago today, you woke up and decided that after fucking me three times, you were finally sure that you were gay. You woke me up and told me so before fucking me once more. Just as we were coming down from our orgasms, I asked you to be my boyfriend. I was nervous for no reason, because you said yes. Now we've been together for a year, one of the best ones of my life. Not only because of you, but for the things we've achieved with the band. When we get back home, this time we'll come home to our home for the first time. You've moved in with me, and I couldn't be happier. You weren't spending that much time in your own place anyways. You're now officially my live in partner. I like that.

With love, from Jan.

***

Febuary 19th 2024

My dear Nace. We almost went public with our relationship. Damon took pictures of us, ones of us kissing. We almost posted them, but I got scared. I realised I'm not brave enough to have the entire world know. We're going on tour, and if we would have made it public, everyone would have asked questions I'm not comfortable answering. I hope you understand that. You said you do. I love you so much for always understanding. I love you so much for all the other things too. I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you. Maybe I'll ask you to marry me sometime.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2024

My dear Nace. I haven’t written a letter like this for a long time. Instead I’ve spend time with the version of you I have right now. The best version of you, the one I’ve had, have, and will have right in front of me. It doesn’t matter if you change, the way you are when we’re alone, together, will always be my favorite version of you. Right now, you’re sleeping in my bed, our bed, and you’re as beautiful as usual. It’s almost weird to think how for the past year, my bed has also been your bed. You, who have been my love for the past two years. I’m looking forward to so many more. Now I'll try to go to bed so that you can wake me up with anniversary-breakfast-in-bed in the morning.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 2nd 2025

My dear Nace. We met your parents yesterday. You were so nervous. I was too, to be honest, but I tried not to let it show. I thought it would be akward, you were scared that they'd change their mind about being in contact. But everything went alright. Maybe they won't be walking a pride parade anytime soon, but at least they want you in their life again. They don't even seem to dislike me, so I'm satisfied with the visit. When we got home you were so happy. I was happy for you. Your family is not only made up of the band anymore, but your parents as well.

With love, from Jan

***

June 20th 2025

My dear Nace. It's been a weird couple of days. We've finally come out publicly. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. We all did it together, the entire band. It feels better that way. I wrote in my Instagram post that I've found a boy I'm willing to marry. It's a true statement. For the first time ever I'm sure about wanting to get married. Yesterday I told you me and Kris were going out for coffee. In reality, we went to a jewler so that we both could buy engagement rings. I'll ask you to marry me when we go on vacation in August. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you.

With love, from Jan.

***

August 14th 2025

My dear Nace. It's rather comical how it all turned out. We went on a hike today, and I had planned to propose to you by a waterfall. But when we got there, you got to it before I could. You got down on one knee, and asked me to marry you. Of course I said yes. I decided that you couldn't completely steal my idea, so when you'd put the ring on my finger, I pulled my own ring box out of my pocket. By the time I was down on one knee, we were both laughing so much I could barley ask the question. But when I did, you said yes. So, you're officially not my boyfriend anymore. You're my beautiful fiancé who I'll love and cherish forever. I can't wait until we're husbands.

With love, from Jan.

***

May 3rd 2026

My dear Nace. We've managed to plan a wedding in just eight and a half months. Not that it will be a big one, but it has still been hectic. Tomorrow we'll be walking down the isle, together, to become husbands. We'll be getting ready together too. The guys will be there, but I'll make sure to get a moment alone for just the two of us. It's then that I'll give you these letters. I'll give you all of them, and I'll hope you'll like them. Now, one last sleep before you're mine and I'm yours until death do us apart.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 30th 2089

My dear Nace. It's your birthday today. You would have been 95. But you're not here anymore. I got more than 66 years with you, and I couldn't have enjoyed them more. Your smile and laugh could make my entire day better. Your smile was the last expression I ever saw you do. You said 'we'll meet again, soon'. I took your hand and it made you smile. Then you closed your eyes and suddenly you were just gone. I miss you so much, every day. But we'll meet again, soon. I'm not that young myself either, I won't be staying here for too long. Now I will wrap this letter up. Then our lovely granddaughter Sofia will take me to your grave so that I can leave this for you there. The head stone we got is really nice, just the way we said we would have it. My name and date of birth is already on it. They'll just have to add the day I die when they've put me down next to you. At some point we'll be together again. I still love you, so much.

With love, from Jan.