#half-crack theory

[elementroar]

This is the "Why ABA and Paracelsus can feel horny" lore/theory post

The main Paracelsus deepdive post is a monster that I'm building in Google docs cos Tumblr can't handle it while it's WIP. This is a separate lore/theory monster I want to get out of my system first.

Here's my theory why ABA is consistently portrayed as being horny for Paracelsus from the start.

Translated excerpt from the Night of Knives Vol.2 audio drama CD, released in 2004 (20 IRL years ago):

Her being horny wasn't so much portrayed in-game in XX/AC+R really, prolly engine/sprite limitations and all; but then STRIVE happens and we get:

It's not just her being horny, and knowing exactly how to rizz Paracelsus up, and clearly has been doing this in her pocket dimension for a while now. PARACELSUS CAN FEEL HORNY NOW TOO!

And I stg I'm not joking...I think there's a legit lore reason for this.

Cos by the end of her arcade mode's flawless ending and according to the latest interviews with Daisuke-san and the game directors, it's explained that Paracelsus' form depends on what ABA thinks of Paracelsus, as well as her general mental stability.

ABA thought Paracelsus looked like a key, and he morphed into a key as part of his nature, which naturally makes him always fit to his wielder's preferences. In my deepdive I'll explain in more detail, but in addition to that, Slayer figured out that since ABA also saw Para as her hopeful "key to the future", Para's heart also began to change to basically fit her ideal of what he is.

So if ABA finds Paracelsus sexually attractive, and has made very obvious physical advances on him for years, then it follows that if she's horny for him, she can make Paras horny for her over time too, just like how Para is getting more key-like subconsciously just by being with her all this time.

I don't think this is entirely involuntary on Paracelsus end. I believe how much he wants to react to his wielder's emotions is still in his control...unless they become truly insane like with ABA's Jealous Rage being emotionally powerful enough to override Paras' ability to maintain his key form.

Also he reverts to his 'sharp teeth' design when he gets rizzed up, so he's losing his composure again and prolly holding back most of his...response. It's actually kinda telling cos Para used to just disassociate, ignore, scold ABA when she tries to make advances on him, so him actually responding now and to this degree is...interesting. And ABA seems very aware of this.

And for the bigger question of why ABA, an artificially created human would be created with the ability to feel horny...

Ok, crack theory time, it might be linked to why she apparently can summon an actual alchemical gate just whenever she wants, and even use it as her private pad. ABA doesn't just wanna rizz Paracelsus up as a key, she wants him in a human body since the start too.

Y'all remember Ghostbusters, and what the Gatekeeper and the Keymaster have to do to open the gate...?

[camille-lachenille]

I’ve been rotating the potential of elves coming back wrong from Mandos, like missing chunks of memory, or with some traits of their personality completely changed, bc try as they want, the Valar just can’t get Elves right when healing them. And I was thinking about the many, many fanons about Lindir’s backstory.

So I mashed the two ideas together

Finrod died in… extremely traumatic circumstances, to use an euphemism, and the Valar found they couldn’t heal him while he kept these memories. So they erased them. Only, whoever did the erasing went a little too strong on it bc they didn’t know how to dose their power for an Elf. And Finrod got re-embodied a little too soon, and was lost bc he didn’t know who were these people around him calling him by names he didn’t know, in a language he didn’t understand.

He knows two things: he likes singing, and he wants to get back home, over the sea.

So Lindir smuggles himself on a ship leaving for the War or Wrath, and just kind of bumbles his way through the whole thing without understanding what it happening. Círdan and Gil-Galad recognise him, so they take him under their protection and set him in charge of the women and children in a refugees camp bc Lindir can’t fight but he sings the best lullabies and loves kids.

At some point, Lindir befriends Elrond, who feels strangely familiar in many ways, and he ends up following him around like a happy, singing shadow. Elrond is put into the secret of Lindir’s real identity and he starts working even harder in his healer studies.

Over the centuries, Elrond manages to help Lindir recover some memories from his first life, though only the happy ones. Lindir forgot Barahir and Beren, forgot all the grief and loss he felt after the passing of Bëor and his other mortal friends, hence the reason why he is so confused by mortals in FOTR. He still loves singing, and regains his taste for jewellery and clothes, and Elrond is only too happy to indulge him.

Eventually, Lindir meets Galadriel, and even tough he can’t reconcile the faint memories of little Artanis clinging to him with sticky hands with the lady in front of him, they become fast friends and Lindir spoils Celebrían rotten bc he’s an uncle!!!

And when time comes to Sail, Lindir follows Elrond like he always has since the end of the First Age, but this time he remembers the family waiting for him in Valinor, even though he still struggles to think of them as his family.

The first thing Elrond does when he sets foot in Valinor, after kissing Celebrían silly, is to walk straight for the Ring of Doom with Lindir and a gaggle of Very Angry Relatives in tow to scream at the Valar with the whole power of the Voice he inherited from Lúthien and trained with Maglor, until the Valar fix Lindir. Galadriel gets to do her scary show too, as a treat.

It takes some time but then the Valar manage to put the memories back into Finrod and he’s as fixed as he can be. He also gets intensive therapy and Huan as a service dog bc 6000 years not being himself are a bit traumatising, but he’s mostly fine at the end of the day.

[qcellbit]

people are already suggesting that cellbit relapsed and killed that worker either awake or in his sleep and while the evidence (it being a gravity falls related puzzle and including the words "im back" in pt possibly in reference to fcell) is suggesting that, i think itd be far more interesting and fucked up if he didnt do anything but hes being FRAMED for this by the federation. they would absolutely kill off one of their own workers just to sow seeds of distrust throughout the island and punish him. These might be the consequences cucurucho spoke of yesterday Who knows

[musclesandhammering]

There’s zero chance Loki and Hela having so many similarities is just a coincidence. And even though we’re most definitely never getting a full explanation for it, I’m so curious as to what you guys believe the reason is. Do you think:

a.) Loki’s a shapeshifter who can see people’s memories when he touches them. So when Odin picked him up as a baby, he saw Hela in Odin’s mind and shifted himself to resemble her.

b.) Loki and Hela have the same biological mother.

c.) Hela is Loki’s biological mother.

d.) Odin changed Loki to look like Hela when he first held him, because he missed her.

e.) Hela’s biological mother is jotun, and she and Loki both have black hair/pale skin/green aesthetic/etc because that’s just what frost giants look like when they take an asgardian form.

f.) Hela and Loki are both adopted, both children of Laufey. Odin took Hela centuries earlier, then when he realised Laufey’d had another child, he took Loki too.

**I’ve listed these in order from the ones I find most likely to least likely, if you’re curious. Tell me which headcanon you prefer, I wanna see.

[will80sbyers]

Oh shit wait it kinda looks like someone without a leg... ? Istg if someone loses a leg and this was foreshadowing for that they need more help than I do 😂

[catcas22]

Between the Shrine Maiden village, the apparent malleability of Numen flesh, the fact that the only other Numen we hear about (the Black Knives) are entirely female, the existence of Millicent and her sisters as well as Melina...

I'm half convinced that Numen are a mono-gender species that reproduces through something along the lines of soul mitosis.

[suitsnsours]

husk and cats and hats--some thoughts

i'm kinda sold that husk hates cats so much because while alive as a young magician he opted to try pulling cats out of hats instead of rabbits (contrary to literally every single word of advice from his mentors) but it went terribly

now his greatest shame of pulling cats out of hats in his early years as a magician remains a phantom that will follow him as some inherent truth about his existence until the minute his soul is destroyed, which is interesting because it's by far the least grievous sin he'd have committed in his life but it's probably one of the first: arrogance, pride

with his cowardice, who knows if he ever acknowledged that shame or if he ever admitted those mentors were right rather than either begrudgingly swapping to rabbits in silence or just dropping hat tricks altogether. who knows if this act of dumb courage and learning for himself (and subsequent humiliation) was what set him on the path to never making those mistakes so publicly again, and why he rarely stands for his word when confronted by entities he perceives to be more powerful than himself.

i think there's something really interesting in him eventually reckoning with "i failed to listen and that made me a pussy and maybe that's ok because i can listen now," especially considering his unwilling role as the bartender (read: therapist) where he's really got no option other than to listen to others (with angel dust as a catalyst [hehehe])

alternate possibility: deathly allergic to cats.

[loganslowdown4]

If the blooper reels for sanders sides keep following Star Wars titles, the next one should be called Caravan of Bloops—

this is probably the nerdiest thing I’ve ever said 😩🤪

Please tell me someone else has seen this???

This is the most obscure reference ever lmao

[phantomuss]

I REVIVE FROM THE DEAD DUE TO EXECUTOR ALTER'S L2D 24 OP SKIN BABY I NEVER LOSE!!

[seygay]

In my personal headcanon Daeron and Myriah adopted Shiera after her mother died, so Maekar’s hatred of Bloodraven includes “oh this is the bitch my sister’s dating”

[childrenofthesun77]

Were akira and tooru also orphans?

Mahiru never mentions maternal grandparents, at one point he realizes that when akira died his uncle also became alone and while it doesn't have to mean anything I did find it interesting that when they were still in school and tooru asked touma to come to his house to eat he said akira would cook for them and not their mother or father. When mahiru thinks about heroes always coming back smiling we saw a flashback of akira coming back after apparently leaving a very young mahiru in tooru's care, not with her parents.

The discussion at akira's funeral service also made it sound like the people were more extended family than close family? Where is the rest of the shirota family? Is it just them?

[tora-the-cat]

ask game!! 🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

oooh, that's a good one- A couple come to mind...but I'll go with how I REALLY don't vibe with the theory that Tobirama's mom was a Hatake. Honestly, I love aus where the Hatake are a cool ninja clan for one reason or another, but I don't think it works well as a theory for canon. It REALLY feels like something that would've come up at SOME point, if KAKASHI was the last scion of an old disgraced clan lol

[hsrlorefreak]

ok this is. completely basically crack but like.

is giovanni (in the new-ish event) sampo?????

because.

Elation. it was like, really heavily implied last time we saw sampo at the end of belobog stellaron crisis, that he was a part of the Masked Fools, aka followers of Aha, The Elation.

and in sampo’s story, it’s implied that he. dressed up as a woman. convincingly. and he wasn’t called out on his voice, so he can definitely change his voice, too.

and he even has a mask— to play at the eccentric billionaire who funds a game on a whim. that seems like something he would do just for amusement.

and it starts on belobog, too. and sampo does have ways to get to other world— the joke bomb he sent with a signature proved that.

i forgot to take a screenshot, but pela + serval also say that he told them to not tell march and trailblazer who the really good player was (might be him) because : “adding an element of mystery to the story” and what story? our story, our game. what is that doing? breaking the fourth wall. who, aside from trailblazer, breaks the fourth wall?

sampo.

but why???? but have followers of the elation ever had reasons for what they do??? zhongshan (unshackled on luofu mission) did what she did just because. didn’t plan it out or anything, saw a chance, decided it was funny, and pulled trailblazer along to play her tune

anyway if he isn’t that’s fine but if he is that’ll be so funny.

[endiness]

this is such a copium crack theory lol, but like. what if the show uses toussaint in place of kovir. like, they both do kind of have similar qualities in that they're rich nations and that they're neutral when it comes to the war. so, like. what if instead of dijkstra going to kovir for help, it's radovid that goes to toussaint. y'know, at the same time jaskier is there. and then radskier. 🤪

[moe-broey]

Trying to relax only to jolt up with a start like Wait. What if I fucking got the details wrong. I was just spouting shit off from memory. I've played Book 4 the most I've flipped through it a dozen times and have played it in full at least twice. It's the book that has had the MOST intense grip on me, and WHY, and for WHAT. The beginning it was ABSOLUTELY out of spite, but a seed was planted into my psyche. It has lingered ever since. It has cursed me ever since. It has completely consumed me ever since. But what if I'm Fucking Wrong and I just said the most INSANE fucking bullshit imaginable and oh god I'm gonna be killed. For NO GOOD REASON. If my information was accurate, at least I could die with honor. BUT WHAT IF IT'S NOT... all of that.... FOR NOTHING???????

Anyways it went down pretty much how I remembered it, Peony and Mirabilis in particular saying "I love you" (plus "I wanna be closer to you" <- bit I forgor but DID make me go 😶 upon seeing it), Sharena simply says "Alfonse..." in kind of a ditzy way, Anna remains strong and I actually completely forgot Alfonse had dialogue through this too, actually. He's strong about it too though. To the tune of Ocean Man, Business Man....

[stunfiskz]

whats a deltarune thing you think a lot about that you dont see brought up a lot? for me its the text for the playing cards in the light world