#had never had that much money before. it was crazy to me. meanwhile with a job paying every other week $500 was a *low* paycheck.

[orcelito]

Had a moment of listening to music I liked back when I was a teenager (& still like) and having a whole. Realization . That I like myself as I am now sooooo much better than I like teenage me. And I started thinking about Why.

There's a lot to it I'm pretty sure, & most of it centers around the fact that I just... didn't really know who I was as a person. I didn't really have hobbies outside of what I did in school (aka orchestra) and like. Video games + anime. I did creative writing in middle school, but dropped off in high school for... some reason? I still made original characters and played around with them a lot, but it was mostly just in drawing and thinking about them. I never actually *wrote*, and I in fact didn't get back into creative writing at all until I was 23 years old. I was someone who had spent so long hiding behind others and just doing what I was told that I just... didn't have any real direction. I didn't know what I even *wanted*. I thought I knew, but in hindsight, I can confidently say that I didn't. I was just an insecure teen drifting through life and not thinking about things beyond what was immediately in front of me. Which is pretty standard for teenagers I guess, but not all of them. Not at all.

Compared to now, where I have Many hobbies, most notably being writing. As I am now, I am just Intrinsically a writer. And it's weird to remember that I wasn't even really *writing* before 5 years ago (besides text rps, which did a lot for developing my writing skill! But still aren't a replacement for writing individually). As a teen, I wasnt into dnd, I was incredibly out of shape, & I was a lot less aggressive and focused. I was the type to avoid sports!!! I hated them!!!! But as I am now, I Love biking and can easily bike for an hour+ no problem (I remember being a teen and trying to go on just 10 minute bike rides in the summer and just *dying* from it), & I love working out. I wanna be strong!!! I LOVE being strong!!! And I was an absolute mess with things like public speaking & working in groups, vs now where I can do an impromptu presentation no problem & I'm often the unofficial leader in group projects bc im typically the one who does the organizing and allotments of work. A side effect of working as a supervisor and then assistant manager for so long. I have a lot more confidence in my perceptions and judgements, & I have the self-assurance to assert these things. And this is only really the tip of the iceberg with all the differences.

I just feel like an entirely different person, almost. The cores are the same, or at least damn near similar, with the things I want out of life & the sorts of things I enjoy, but it's like. The difference between finding a random rock off the side of the road & then that rock when it's been sanded and carved and decorated to be something individual and unique. You look at them side by side and it's something dull vs something shiny and intricate. The origins can't be ignored and dismissed, & I certainly would never resent younger me for just doing the best with what I knew at the time. But it's just astounding how much difference time and experience will have for growing and developing as a person. Things I consider integral to my personhood weren't even thoughts in my mind back then. We are almost entirely different people.

[shxxxbi]

EVERYTHING THAT WASN'T INCLUDED IN LOVE SEA THE SERIES 🌊

Episode 4 (Chapters: 12 - 14)

<-prev

Breaking a promise

Rak felt like shit here. He had called Mook to extend his stay but his secretary had refused sternly; so after Mut spent two nights pleading for him to stay, Rak tried to find an excuse to keep his promise. He considered telling his secretary that the manuscript wasn't finished, that he needed more time, even considered telling her all the boats had sunk and it was impossible for him to go back to the mainland. But in the end, he had no choice but to admit defeat. He felt terrible for breaking his promise to Mut, meanwhile the younger boy appeared almost unfazed. His face was "just the usual, totally normal one, with the usual smile and the same look. Not a hint of regret."

"If he didn't care, then why would I?"

So Rak picked up his phone and transfered Mut the money for "his services". Now more than ever, Tongrak was convinced that all that had happened between them was just sex. Mut sold his service and Rak had bought it. Nothing he hadn't already done before with other people...

...yet, Rak had "never felt this hollow"

How much would it cost for you to go to Bangkok with me?

That hollow feeling in Rak's chest kept expanding. Memories of the time spent together with Mut flashed through his mind until a sudden warmth urged him to move. Tongrak was confident in his decision, in asking Mut to go with him. However, he still insisted that what he was feeling was not love. That it was just personal pleasure. And if he could afford it, what was the problem?

"The guy sold his service anyway. Right?"

WHAT!!!??

She didn't like this man at all. That's what Mook kept telling herself when she saw the man her boss had brought back with him. He made her feel "as tiny as an ant". Mook had screamed so loud upon hearing what Rak had done, that the airport staff almost came over to ask what was wrong.

"Brought back, as in purchasing?! Are people buying and selling men now?!"

I don't trust you

Mook wanted to back down the moment she met eyes with Mut. She wasn't familiar with men at all, the only men she was close with were her family members and Rak. Mut intimidated her, with his big body and his dark and scary face, so much so it made her want to cry. But no one could be trusted this days, what if this man assaulted Rak? What if he stabbed her boss with a knife in his sleep?

"She had to protect Rak!"

Mut, on the other hand, found her amusing. She was so small, he could "probably blow her away with a puff". But he was never one to bully someone weaker, so he turned to Rak.

"What should i do? If I show respect, she won't back down. But if you tell me to handle her, this little lady won't stand a chance."

Little Trivia: Rak's house

Contrary to the show, Rak's house is on the 27th floor of a very luxurious condo complex in the heart of Bangkok. It has 3 bedrooms, with the main one featuring a large wall window that offered a wonderful view of the bustling streets below. As for the other two bedrooms, one is a guest bedroom and the other one a study crammed with books. As for the kitchen, it is entirely made of Italian marble and has, basically, never been used.

Bro, are you crazy?!

This phone call actually happens after Rak and Mook have already set off to work. Mook had been waiting outside the door to Rak's house as soon as the sun was up, too terrified to enter on her own and find the two men fucking in the living room, so she waited for Mut to let her in. After the secretary and her boss had left, Mut gets a call from Palm. The younger boy kept shouting and calling him crazy, but Mut knew very well what he was doing. Many people would describe him as very mature for his age, but Mut knew he still tended to act childish at times. Just like he had done now. Following a man to the mainland with no plan whatsoever, simply because he was unwilling to let him go. Mahasamut knew that their paths would most likely never cross again, this was the only opportunity he had to keep Tongrak close. And he would not let it go.

Little Trivia pt.2: Mahasamut's age

Mut's age is never explicitly confirmed in the novel, however thanks to Khom we can figure it out. In "Love Sand", the story of Khom and Connor meeting and falling in love takes place when Khom is 19 years old. Many characters of Love Sea appear as side characters, including Palm and Mut. Palm is described as a boy around 17 years old, while Mut is "a few years older than him and around Khom's age". Fast forward to Love Sea (that chronologically takes place a while after the events of Love Sand), Mut describes Khom as his "younger close friend and brother". Also, in the prologue of Love Sea, Tongrak tells us that Khom is a decade younger than him. Since Rak is about to turn 31 and the two boys are around the same age, with Mut being apparently slightly older, Mahasamut should be around 21-22 years old, making the age gap between Mutrak around 9 or 10 years!

DISCLAIMER🚨: I have not read Love Sand, all the infos I have written come from people I know that have read it. Therefore, I apologize if something is incorrect🙇🏽‍♀️

Can you read the report and understand it?

Fortunately for Mook, Mahasamut had decided to go to the hospital alone and not drag her along. Said report was currently being examined by Tongrak and poor Mook couldn't help but wonder why her boss was smiling like that. How could a report make him so happy? She didn't understand anything of what was written, she didn't know a thing about STDs. How could she, she had never even had sex with anyone. Her confusion faded when Mahasamut explained he was clean, only to be quickly replaced by embarrassment at his next words.

"Maybe next time we can skip the rubber. I promise I'll pull out"

Yet, nothing could prepare her for Rak's answer

"Who said you have to?"

Mut kept teasing Mook for a while after that, while Rak observed them in the distance

"They get along very well. This is nice. The room isn't quiet anymore."

What if I say I won't agree to it?

Mut read the contents of the contract: Tongrak would provide him sixty thousand bahts monthly as compensation and cover all of his living expenses, including housing, food and even education, if he wished to pursue it. However, Mut had obligations as well: not disturbing Rak during working hours, not doing anything Tongrak disliked and, most of all, their relationship would end immediately at the writer's discretion. There was no love, nor commitment included. Mahasamut had to supress a growl in his throat. He disliked what Rak was doing, disliked how he was treating their relationship as if there was nothing but sex between them, nothing but money. But he knew this was the only opportunity he had to get close to Tongrak and he couldn't let it slip away, even if he wouldn't have much time. So, all he could do was clench his fists and hide his thoughts with a perfectly fine smile.

So, you're saying you can love me, Khun Tongrak?

Being very fair-skinned, when all his blood rushed to his face, Rak easily turned a bright red that let everyone know he was blushing. And Mut's words had him blushing hard. Tongrak had experienced every kind of flirtation imaginable from both men and women, but just a few words from Mut were enough to leave him speechless. Had the younger boy not read the contract? Had he not realized there was no emotional attachment between them, only money? How could he be so brazen in asking for love? But, most of all, why the hell did Rak's heart skip a beat?!

Vivi was very impressed by the island boy. She knew there must have been something special between them if Rak had brought him home; just as she knew how much her friend deeply craved for someone's love, even if he refused to admit it.

"You can just call me Vi, no prefix needed. And if Rak ever dumps you, just come to Big Sis. I like you."

"That might be difficult," Mut declined, "I won't let myself get dumped so easily"

And Mahasamut had never been more serious. He wouldn't let Tongrak drift away from him.

"I didn't say you could come in" "But you didn't say I couldn't come in either"

Here Mut actually enters Rak's room and sits on his bed, while the older man is busy playing on his phone. Unable to ignore Mut's gaze any longer, Rak put his phone down and looked up at him.

"That's better. Didn't anyone tell you that when you talk, you should make eye contact with the person you're talking to?"

Finally they talk about the contract, about their conversation downstairs and about how Rak doesn't believe in love, and this all but puts a sad smile on Mut's face. So, the younger boy reaches out to hold Rak's hand and intertwine their fingers.

"I know you don't believe in love, but I never said that I don't [...], you can't stop me from loving you."

Tongrak was at a loss for words. Confusion was written all over his face. He had never dealt with a situation like this before. He had never met anyone who said they'd love him.

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

THIS. THIS IS THE MOMENT I HAD BEEN WAITING FOR.

In the novel, this does NOT happen. Or, better said, it is not a kiss on the lips. It's a kiss on Rak's temple. Now, why am i putting so much emphasis on this, you might be asking. I think this is another masterpiece of improv by our ship captain Khun Thitipong. In the novel, there is A LOT of emphasis on the fact that Mut desperately wanted to kiss Rak's lips but, since he had just made a very important speech about pursuing Rak and making him change his mind about love, Mahasamut decided that he couldn't give in to his desire. He wanted the words he had just said to embed themselves in Rak's heart. To make Rak think about him, about them, as more than just what happens in bed, and that is something that would take time. So kissing his lips had to wait. Now, after making this such a big thing, I don't think Mame would just suddenly change her mind for the show. Therefore, if 1+1 is 2 and the shit-eating grin on Fort's face and Peat's eyes are anything to go by, I assume Thitiwhipped decided to take matters into his own hands. Also, it seems Peat hinted at this himself in the reaction video for episode 4: after watching the kiss scene, Peat himself asks Fort if the kiss was scripted or just his improvisation.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk 🫳🏽🎤

[pablitogavii]

Could you write one Gavi fic where he's talking to her through social media, just as friends, but he starts to develop feelings for her, his agent finds out and gets really worried about his career if he gets in a relationship, so he "makes" Gavi's mind to get away from the reader (she has abandonment and rejection issues) without a proper explanation, he excuses saying that the reader wants his money and whatever. But some months after the reader moves to Seville and gets really close to Aurora (she knows Aurora is Gavi's sister but Aurora doesn't know her), and one day Aurora takes her to a barca match, and Gavi tries to make up to her?

I guess I'm back y'all lol! I like this idea very much!

y.n.bebe

New York, USA

I think I like this little life...happy birthday to me hehe

liked by pablogavi and others

coments:

brimccormix: happy birthday bebsss

y.n.bebe: thank you gorgeous girl💗

stacymiggs: princesaaa

y.n.bebe: nooo youuu!🥺

brianfereda: happy birthday!

y.n.bebe: thank youu!

pablogavi: pretty girl

y.n.bebe: 😳

When you saw that THE Pablo Gavi called you "pretty girl" for the whole world to see, you couldn't stop staring at that comment for the next two weeks.

Your friends went crazy calling you lucky, and pushing you to send him a message but you were obviously too shy to do that. Besides, who knows how many "pretty girls" he's talking to on the internet.

Meanwhile, Gavi spent all of his free time and training brakes going through your posts and smiling like an idiot at your cute face on his phone screen.

When you first popped up on his screen, he just had to reach out and pray you don't find it cocky on his part. You were just so pretty...

"Sempre con esa nena, cabrón! Dale! Enviale un mensaje!"Pedri hit Gavi's head making him groan and finally get the balls to slide into your DMs. He said a simple "hey pretty girl" before leaving his phone in the locker room to join his teammates.

pablogavi: hey, pretty girl

y.n.bebe: hey😊

And ever since that night, you've started texting, face timing and chatting non stop. You haven't told anyone about it, not wanting to make a drama over something so new and also not wanting him to think fame is what you're after because it's not.

"I'm so tired, nena" Pablo groaned while laying in bed and face timing you as you did your math homework diligently.

"Then go to bed, tonto!" you giggle and he just stayed quiet staring at your face until you looked back at the phone screen and blushed at how intense his gaze was.

"Me gusta cuando hablas Español conmigo, bebé" he smirked making you blush bright red and roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed.

"When do you have training in the morning?" you ask while he yawns.

"Five am" he answers and you open your eyes wide really looking up to him being so diligent about his career.

"Then you really should get some sleep, and we can talk tomorrow again hm?" you ask not really wanting to end the call but also wanting him to get his rest. He always loved how selfless you are and how much you took care of him. It really warmed his hearts.

"I hate it that you're so far! I swear I'm gonna travel to New York and kidnap you and bring you back to Barcelona with me ... and never let you go ..." he said sleepily and you felt your heart jumping thinking about the possibility.

"Hm and if you get bored of me?" you smile and he shakes his head still staring intently at you in the eyes.

"Impossible, my pretty girl..." he said and you smile remembering the very first time you read those words on the screen.

Pablo Gavi was a man of his words, and since that conversation he promised himself that he will surprise you with a travel to Barcelona really soon. He planed everything and mailed you a ticket during his two week vacation.

He still remembers the nerves while standing at the airport waiting at your gate to see your pretty face finally in person. The moment you walked out he recognized you...he couldn't forget the pretty face he stared at through the screen for past four months just now it was real.

"Hi, pretty girl..." he said again and you jumped into his eyes smiling wide and holding onto him tightly. You couldn't believe this was real yet. It just felt like a dream.

"Ready to explore Barcelona conmigo huh?" he said and you smiled and taking his hand nodding and walking to him car with your baggage.

Days passed so quickly and everything was PERFECT. Ice cream dates, walks on the beach, coffee shops and all the infamous tourist attractions...you were falling in love with this city...and you were also falling in love with this boy.

Day before your flight home, Pablo took you to a football game for the Juvenil and you were excited to watch it with him knowing it was his passion.

"So what do you think?" you show him your Barça jersey and he so badly wanted to ask you to wear one with his name on the back but how could he? He still didn't have the balls to ask you to be his official girlfriend!

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

it's so pretty here 🥺😊

liked by pablogavi, pedri, joaofelix and others

comments:

pablogavi: pretty girl in barcelona 😍

y.n.bebe: hehe😊

brimccormix: girl!!?? spill the TEA!

y.n.bebe: what tea???

lucasmith: looks like someone stole my crush!

y.n.bebe: 😂

"Next time I come, I want to watch you play..." you said while the two of you sat sadly on the airport waiting for your boarding.

"Y/n..." he said looking down as you looked up

"Hm?" you say feeling your heart beating fast from how close your lips were to each other.

"Don't go..."he said and you swore your heart broke when you saw his pleading eyes. Neither of you wanted this distance...it was so unfair but there was nothing you could do about it now.

"Pablo we're friends now and you can visit me in New York..." you said but before you could finish his lips were smashed onto yours to shut you up and you closed your eyes enjoying the sweet sensation of his cold minty lips on your.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend, pretty girl?" he said and in that moment all your past insecurities and abandonment issues returned yelling inside your head. What if you get attached and he disappears like other did? You were so scared but looking at him it was impossible not to agree!

"Yes! I do Pablo..." you say and he kissed you again until they called for your flight to start boarding in five minutes.

[linos-luna]

Please I'm so sad now because I cant bare the fact that changbin actually needs us to survive in the changchan yandere fic, like I'm guilt stricken, please give me a part three with a happy ending 😭

👌 Okay Bestie 👌

——————————————————————

Our Doll (Pt. 3) 🔪

Yandere!Chan x Reader x Yandere!Changbin

Warnings: Yandere, stalking, obsession

(Pt 1) (Pt 2) (Pt 3) (Pt. 4)

——————————————————————

Getting back to normal life was hard.

Of course you went to the police, but they couldn't do much. You didn't know where they took you. it wasn't Chan's place and so maybe it was Changbin’s. But you’ve never been to his house before on any other occasion. All you could do was file a police report, so that they can ‘investigate further.’

You knew that not much would happen and you tried getting back to your life.

But now you’re just paranoid…

You didn’t even want to stay at your own home. You often stayed with some friends, hoping that the two men wouldn’t find you. You hoped to save enough money to move but couldn’t even bring yourself to go outside, let alone go to work. You became secluded, only interacting with friends that would come see you.

~~~~ ♡

Meanwhile, Changbin was depressed. The man couldn’t stand you not being there. He wanted you so bad.

Chan did his best to cheer his friend up but nothing seemed to work. He’s done everything to locate you to no avail. It was driving him crazy as well. But he was also a little sour as well. How could Changbin let you escape?? Why didn’t Changbin understand that you’re his too??

Chan was angry and annoyed. How could you do this to him?! He wanted to find you to punish you. Then to lock you away for himself.

Eventually Changbin opted to go out and get some food, then maybe drive around to find you… again. Chan thought he was like a lost puppy and felt bad…

~~~~~ ♡

After a month you started going out more, trying to a off the weight of paranoia and depression. At the grocery store, you had a small list, a reminder of both what you needed and your budget.

While browsing, a you felt a presence behind you, making your heart race.

"Oh thank god I found you!" the man exclaimed, and before you could react, he covered your mouth, pulling you into the employee backroom.

“Changbin?!” You muttered against his hand.

"Stop moving! I don't wanna hurt you!" Changbin's plea echoed in the dim backroom, and defeated, you ceased your struggle. Tears traced down your cheeks as you surrendered.

"Baby, you don't understand how much I missed you!" Changbin's voice softened as he planted a kiss on your cheek. "Why did you leave?!"

Feeling constrained, you desperately tapped his hand until he released his grip. Turning to face him, you took in the sight of his disgruntled appearance, hair a bit overgrown and eyes desperate yet exhausted.

"How did you find me?!" you yelled.

"Y/n, I missed you so much!" Changbin said, ignoring your question, and grabbing your hands.

"I'm a wreck without you! Please, please, please!!! Stay with me!!" His plea echoed in the employee area, and you awkwardly backed away, surprised that no one had kicked you guys out yet. Despite your attempt to retreat, his grip on your hand remained firm.

"No, don't go!" Changbin pleaded, tears forming as he clung on tight, his desperation evident. "Don't leave me, dolly! Don't leave me!"

"Changbin, stop!" you said in a loud whisper, glancing around, embarrassed."Get up!"

"I want you back! I can't live without you!"

As sick as he was, you felt your heart breaking. But why? He kidnapped you??

"Binnie, where's Chan?" you questioned in a hushed tone.

"At home," he replied, his eyes glassy. "We've been looking for you... I just wanted to find you myself."

"You want to bring me back to the house? Whose house is it?" you asked, now curious.

"Mine... I bought it for you," he sighed.

“You bought a house just for me?”

"Mmhm..."

"Do you... do you like sharing with Chan?" you asked, getting an idea.

"Well… He's my best friend."

"B-but do you like sharing?" you pressed, seeing if you could cast some doubt in him.

"I—well..." Changbin stuttered. "You're... you're the love of my life..."

"Yes, but..." you paused. "You... you don't like sharing..."

Changbin found himself caught in a dilemma, torn between his best friend and the love of his life

"Binnie... h-how about you come home with me...?"

"Really?!"

"Yeah," you replied with a weak smile, putting your finger to your lips in a hushing motion. "Just don't tell Channie, okay?"

“Ok! Okay! Anything!” He nodded desperately while getting up.

~~~~~~~~ ♡

The drive home was awkward. You drove with him in the passenger seat as he desperately confessed his love for you.

As you entered your home, Changbin's was ecstatic when you closed the door and gave you a tight hug. "I love you, doll!"

"Binnie, are you hungry?"

"No. I just want you," he quickly replied, making you roll your eyes.

"Well, then I'll make myself a snack..." you sighed, realizing that you hadn't bought what you needed at the grocery store.

For now you had some grapes and strawberries, bringing them out in a bowl with you.

You nervously sat on the couch and patted the spot next to you, indicating for him to sit.

Changbin excitedly sat down and kissed your cheek.

“Binnie… can you promise me something?” You asked while popping a grape in your mouth, followed by a blueberry.

“Yes yes! Anything!!” He replied quickly.

“Promise… you’ll never hurt me…”

“I’d never!”

“Changbin I mean it!” You interrupted. “No choking, no hitting, no nothing!”

“Okay yes! I promise!” He replied while grabbing your hand. “I’ll never hurt you! Never ever!”

You nodded and started to think, wondering what were you going to do about his friend now. At least for now, you don’t have to worry too much about one of the two men. Heck, maybe he could be like some type of bodyguard…

"Maybe I can buy you dinner," Changbin suggested, interrupting your thoughts.

"Oh. Sure," you replied awkwardly, checking the time on your phone; it was barely 3 pm.

"Can we take a nap first? I’m kind of tired.”

"Oh! Yes!" Changbin eagerly agreed, clearly exhausted and in need of rest himself.

Leading him to your room, you watched as he lay down. As you removed some jewelry and your sweater, you turned around to find that he had already fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and you couldn't help but lay down beside him, facing him. Gently brushing your fingers against his cheek and down his chest, you marveled at the peacefulness that had settled over him. He didn't move much, exhausted and in a deep sleep.

~~~~ ♡

“God, where is he??” Chan was pacing in the living room, wondering where the hell his friend went. It worried him actually.

He honestly doesn’t understand how he hasn’t been able to find you. He thought he was cunning and smart enough to figure it out but no. You’ve managed to evade him. It saddened him. Now he knows what Changbin feels. Sad but also alone.

The man held on to a shirt you left behind, your sweet scent still lingering. If only he could touch the real person… he just wants you in his arms.

It wasn’t until way later that Changbin came back. He seemed nonchalant and went to his room. Chan followed after him.

“Where have you been?” Chan asked while standing at the door.

“Looking for our dolly…”

“Any luck? Clues? Anything??” Chan asked, his heart racing.

“No…”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for stalking a grifter even when everyone else let it go?

I’m a writer of fanfiction. I write a lot of short fics for different fandom zines and sometimes run zines myself. I have worked with a ton of different people, all with their own ways of running zines. I never had a problem with any of them until a few years ago when one zine organizer started getting called out for shady behavior. At this point, I had already worked with them on a dozen zines, and because I was always working on multiple at a time I never noticed that some of these Zines never went anywhere. I was busy and I just figured they were sorted.

So, when this started going down and call out posts got made I checked back in to the discord servers and blogs for the zines. Half of them collected money for the zines, and never delivered. Some just stopped production because she’d vanished and stopped replying to anyone. It’s at this point I found out that this person had hundreds of zine projects running at once, and most of them not completed or sent to the people who paid for them. All off of our FREE work.

There was a big blow up. People picked sides. A lot of us creators left and removed our work from the unfinished products. People demanded refunds. The scammer’s supposed mother made an appearance in one server saying she was just stressed and to be nice to her. It was insane. People were scammed out of thousands of dollars. It was really shitty for about ten minutes before everyone on the creator’s side shrugged and moved on. Meanwhile, there are still people out there genuinely upset that they lost pretty big chunks of money and no one could help them.

The thing is, I’ve had experience with this type of scammer before. They don’t want to stop, and they’re notorious for rebranding and starting all over again. So, I kept a causal eye out. I didn’t really spend a lot of time on it, because I’m still busy, but when certain styles of zines popped up on here I would do a quick look over at the mods and check a few profiles. Nothing in the past two years really caught my eye. Until a few days ago when I found a new zine that had her style of promotional stuff, typing/grammar, etc. I almost left it because it wasn’t really my business, but it pissed me off so much that she came right back and would probably scam thousands more out of people in different fandoms. So I triple checked a few things like profiles, etc. and was 85% sure one of the mods for this zine is her. When I mentioned this to a friend who also did work for her zines and got scammed, they acted like I was super weird. Not exactly for looking into it, but explicitly that I “still cared about all that.”

I guess everyone else just kind of moved on, and forgot about it. I thought it was pretty normal to be wary of scammers after being scammed, but the fact that they’re saying I’m weird for still caring that it happened is making me feel like maybe I did something wrong? I haven’t done anything about it yet because I wanted to run it by my friend who shared that experience with me, and now I feel like I’m the crazy one for doing something I thought was pretty normal if not a little wary.

AITA?

[gor3sigil]

Detransition - My Story

[CW for Domestic Abuse, S*xual Abuse, Social Detransition, Misgendering, Alcoholism]

Recently, I watched “I Saw the TV Glow”, and it blew me away.

The ending really made me want to tell a story that happened to me.

Between the end of 2020 until the end of 2021, I detransitionned, mostly socially as I hadn’t started transitionning medically at the time. I did so because of many factors, and I never really wrote about it in details or reflected on it deeply as it was a very hard time for me. But I think that I now have enough hindsight as to why it happened and how it affected me to be comfortable sharing.

So, 2020 was a crazy year for everyone. I was in a T4T poly relationship, living with my partner of almost 5 years and started to go out with another trans dude. Long story short, because this isn’t about this, but I got into a physical altercation with my living partner during quarantine after years of emotional and verbal abuse, financial manipulation and isolation. I had to flee and live with my boyfriend for almost 8 months after leaving. And it was hell on earth.

I tried to not make a big deal out of what happened, but the fact of the matter was I had no place to call home, I was separated from my cat because she couldn’t live with us as my boyfriend’s place was a one room student flat and we struggled to live both of us here, and I had very little money due to not being able to work because of Covid.

What happened next to me leaving was constant harassment for weeks, the people whom I called friends siding with my abusive ex, and I felt so defeated. I couldn’t go back to my local trans community out of fear, and the community that I still had I struggled to trust again. I was supposed to start HRT before Covid hit, but it was cancelled. I got so much shit for just telling my story because so many people treated it as “slander” to accuse a trans woman of abusing me. I had receipts but never showed them, to protect her and myself. While she hurt me, she still was in a vulnerable position and it was out of the question to put her in danger. Let’s just say that I didn’t receive the same treatment in return and got lied about, harassed and bullied by people who thought she could do no wrong.

I started to totally lose trust in the community I used to feel safe in. And one day, I met a cis man. I talked to him, we got a coffee, he invited me to his place later, he got drunk and SAd me.

Two weeks passed, two excruciating weeks during which I felt so far away from everything and everyone, I coped by smoking a lot, I was in a deep dissociative state. I was disgusted, I felt so betrayed, I felt like I had no safe space. I still can’t explain why I did what I did, but after these two weeks, I still had the hoodie he handed me to go home, and I decided to meet him to give it back and talk.

He gaslighted me, using the fact that I was mentally ill to prove that I must have imagined what happened, and I believed him.

Meanwhile, I started getting nasty comments from my boyfriend and his friends for going out with a cis man.

Let me say that again.

My boyfriend was not upset that I was putting myself in danger, that I was starting a relationship with someone who had abused me, that I was in deep distress and not trusting anyone from my community anymore so I basically ran the other way, in the polar opposite way, with someone who treated me like a woman and called my desire for top surgery “mutilation”. What he was the most upset about was that I was going out with a cis man.

I became a running joke.

And when I told him that I had slept with my new boyfriend, he told me that I had “slept with the enemy”.

We had a two weeks break, after which I broke up with him for good. I had my own flat, and I was so fucking traumatized about what had happened with my ex and the vitriol I received for my new relationship that I decided it was enough. I was trying so hard to fit in my local trans community, that barely supported me when I got abused, and now what was left of it shat on me for going out with a cis man, it was the last straw.

For a year, I was having the most isolated relationship I ever had.

J, my new boyfriend, was my world. He told me that I thought I was trans out of fear. That it was a lie. That I just was scared of being abused again so I decided that to become a man was to be safe, but it was not. That all I felt was internalized misogyny I could work on, find my inner feminine self again and be happy as a woman. And I believed him. Oh, how I trusted him. I was not even in my mid twenties yet and he was in his early thirties, he must know better. I started using my deadname and feminine pronouns again. I bought dresses, skirts, even wore make up on occasions.

For a year, I killed myself. Slowly but surely. I was a full blown alcoholic, the relationship was becoming more and more abusive and isolating, I spent most of my time with him, most of the time we were drunk, most of the time things weren’t consensual, and it became my new normal.

I was retraumatizing myself. Relieving things I lived in the past because I felt so betrayed.

I had no friends left, the only one I still had didn’t hear about me until the end of my relationship with J. One time I saw her in the street, I was drunk, and J corrected her when she called me “he”. Said it was “she” now. And I said nothing.

We were in a poly relationship, and after the one year mark, after a few traumatizing hookups with random dudes on Tinder, I found my current partner. And when I started to get treated like I deserved to be, I started to snap back. I started fighting back when J acted out, I started seeing the dark place I was in.

Two things made me realize how bad I had been lying to myself.

The first one was a TikTok trend, the one with the song “My Little Dark Age”. The first time I saw a trans man doing this trend with photos of him being himself, then going back to the closet, and in present times, out. “Just know that if you hide, it doesn’t go away”. I sobbed uncontrollably for hours after seeing it.

The second one was one time, drunk, with my partner, I was telling them about the “time where I was trans”. And I was telling them about binders, and offered to show them how it was when I was wearing it. I had thrown away everything I had related to being trans in a cardboard box. I took it out and put it on. Looked at myself in the mirror. And burst out in tears. My partner hold me while I said in between sobs: “how could I do this to myself ?”, “it feels so right, why does it feels so right ? I though I’d be happy as a woman !”. And I cried and cried and cried.

Two weeks later I changed my name again. 2 months after, I broke up with J.

I wanted to tell this story as a cautionnary one. I know that I failed myself. But I can’t help but think that I was also failed in a way. By my community, by the spaces I was in both online and IRL. I am not blaming the individuals. This isn’t about “detransition”. This is about care.

This is a reminder to care. To be kind.

I don’t regret what happened. It’s part of me now. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder how things would’ve turned out if, instead of making fun of me for going out with a cis man, my then friends would’ve asked me kindly why I decided to go out with him. What changed in my mind between the night he SAd me and now. Or just offered a shoulder to cry on. What would’ve happened if I had been offered support for the trauma I was going through, if I hadn’t been told that in the end, J had won, he “have gotten what he wanted”.

“Why is it always so easy for cis men, to get what they want ?”

And in these statements, I became an object. A “want”. And I think that’s one of the main reason I lost every ounce of trust I had left in people who swore they were on my side and had my back.

You may not understand why people make some decisions. But please, before any politics get involved, remember than whose around you are people. Human. With complicated and sometimes conflicting feelings. Flawed. And worthy of your understanding.

This is about not letting politics and theories make you forget to care for one another, to protect each other, and to be here. It can change everything.

[oliversrarebooks]

If you had to write bookseller from a first person pov for a character like Maestro or Lily, how would you approach that? I feel like their dynamic as is, is one if you write it, ik I'll probably find a fun exploration. Alexander's is more classical whump to me. He's very sad, tries to escape, fails. Rinse and repeate with the thralls too, and that's what really draws me to him. It feels never ending because he doesn't belive it's truly going to stop.

Meanwhile it feels Lily has her moments like that like when she has to pick her thrall over Fitz. And she doesn't, when she's just biding her time doing her routine trying to fly under their sires radar as much as possible.

We've known she's defiant. But she hasn't truly given up entirely in some points but now it feels she did and she's getting it back.

Like the jump between the Fitz and Oliver stories is fucking insane and crazy and I'm loving it so much!

I've written a little in the Maestro's POV before, and I really don't think it's all that interesting on the whole. Some of his primary character traits are inertia and repression, which means he suppresses his needs and emotions as much as possible and resists any sort of change. That's hard to make compelling as a POV character for long. Besides, it's an unpleasant viewpoint to be in, for obvious reasons.

Lily as a POV character could be a lot of fun! I've thought it might be fun to write about her day to day in the auction house before, or maybe how she came to be what she is.

Lily isn't really defiant -- she's a survivor. She'll do and say whatever she thinks she needs to do to survive. This is why she pursued a position that gets her plenty of money and connections in the vampire world, for security.

The flip side of this is that she doesn't really have a lot of goals. And her need to survive means that she'll acquiesce to the Maestro's whims whenever necessary -- that's why she so easily gave Fitz up. She thinks that Lex should just try to make a life with the hand he's been dealt instead of risk himself on fruitless plans to kill their sire that only end in pain. That's what she's doing, after all.

Lex and Lily are broken in different ways. Lex is drowning in his trauma, unable to ever truly enjoy himself, but he's capable of defiance when desperate. Lily has a more independent life with more happiness in it, but in front of her sire she becomes a scared little girl again, immediately bending to his whims.

[hypergamiss]

In your opinion, why do you think men choose unattractive and mean women to be their wives? I know a woman who is over 300lbs and has a horrible attitude, but her husband makes great money and he thinks she's the hottest thing around. Just imagine a very large woman, with a potty mouth, badly done tattoos and a septum piercing. They got married very young, but before him she had plenty of men interested in her. I don't get it.

I knew her briefly and quickly grew tired of being around her because she's not very nice and we just didn't have much in common. The only reason I kept her around for as long as I did, was because the business she had, gave her access to all the elites in our city--she had the best gossip. I learned about the weak spots for a lot of the upper class families, through her. But I got tired of her because every conversation, she had to remind me that she didn't have to work and that she only created her business because she got tired of being in the house all day. She's even aware of the way she comes across because she labels herself as an "asshole". She expressed that she doesn't get along with most women because she's "not interested in the things most women are interested in--like shopping." Her hobbies are smoking weed and nothing else. In other words, she's trashy lol.

Meanwhile, I'm attractive, sweet, funny, educated and have never been in a relationship. I just don't understand men at all. Women who I would think would be considered undesirable and gross by men, have great options. Men say they want a woman who's nice, attractive, and not lazy and then choose the exact opposite. I'm just confused.

She's just confident. Even if it's a "bad" type of confident, she clearly doesn't ever doubt herself and knows that she can get what she wants. I've said this before, most women think you need to be a 10/10 to be with a man that would give you the world. Literally any woman can get treated right if she plays her cards right. Yes, attractive women will always have the upper hand, but that doesn't mean the less attractive ones can't get the same outcome. If a man had to choose between me and Gigi Hadid, Gigi is winning. But no big deal, there is another man who isn't even on Gigi's radar that can give me everything I want. Think of all of the celebrities or well off women who are not attractive at all but clearly have everything they want in a partner. They didn't get it by having low self esteem and complaining about their circumstances. They decided to fully grasp the concept that women hold so much power. They have the same lady parts as the attractive women and the ability to strengthen their game in other ways that are not superficial.

She knows how to seduce.

She knows how to keep a man on his toes and keep him constantly chasing her, always trying to win her over.

She knows how to keep her boundaries and restrict access to herself when she doesn't get what she wants.

She knows how to reward her man when he does well by her.

She is selfish with her time, she doesn't lose sight of her goals and ambitions.

She puts herself first overall.

Notice how none of this has to do with looks. Looks at this point are just a cherry on top if you know how to make a man crazy about you. I'm not trying to say that she's a good person, but it's fair to give credit where it's due. She values herself and doesn't accept anything remotely close to being below her standards, even if she doesn't meet those herself. You can be a good person and still know how to play your cards right, or else I would just stay single forever because my moral compass wouldn't allow it.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of wondering how she got so "lucky," study her with a grain of salt and learn how to do the same or better.

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S05E16 - Due North - Part D

It's a really great house but was bought with blood money.

Definitely not.

Ugh, why did they leave me? I'm not usually one to ship so easily either. It took me like a couple of seasons with Castle even, imagine that.

She is so me. Also, each one of their interactions is so great and like, not wasteful.

You better get used to dog drool and fur everywhere, pal.

Everybody needs a Rex.

Once again, how is this not a spinoff?

Meanwhile, Charlie is packing up the cold case. Such a bad timing, I mean, right in the next episode, he'll have to pull everything out again.

"We're never going back to Ontario, right? They're even more crazy over there."

I understand that there's no reality in which a dog would let his human greet anyone else before him. But still. Anyway, that gave Charlie and Sarah ample time to hug after that.

Listen, now that you two are together, you're not allowed to send longing looks from across the room! Stop it.

*is a puddle on the floor*

I missed you two together (it's been two episodes. Longer if you count the fact that there was nothing in the previous how many episodes).

Her smile!

Couples sharing everything makes for healthy relationships, but does it make for good television?

The forehead touch is not anything new in terms of romance but the fact that Charlie also does it with Rex means that they're already a family.

Resumes being a puddle. Also, who turned off the lights? We never had such problems on this show.

*more puddling*

Both parts are very good episodes. Again, there are a lot of classic elements missing for it to be considered a Hudson and Rex episode. Like, there's mostly no Hudson lol. There's a bunch of new characters who should have gotten their own show, goddamnit. Jesse was the most self-assured I've seen him in, like, ever. Rex pulled a Lassie, I said that before. Charlie was moping about a 14 year old case that went nowhere but of course in the next episode, it suddenly will. Sarah got internal bleeding and was fine after being operated by Jesse who couldn't even see and then was fine in like, a day. Just a bit tender. Okay, that was ridiculous but on par with this show's miraculous recoveries. Joe was doing... nothing much. Just caring and trying to give advice to Charlie, advice that as a seasoned detective, Charlie would have had to practice way before this day, otherwise he'd be insufferably stuck.

Anyway, as I said before it's a great two-parter if you don't mind it not being like a classic Hudson and Rex episode. I'm fine with it. Just mourning all the missing opportunities.

[freakyshibs]

Corney stuffs

♡ After years of being ignored of her feelings by her crush, (mainly bc Corey's an oblivious dumbass and doesnt realize his own) she decides to give up on him and move on

♡ But even when she does that is when Corey realizes hes had a crush on her too all these years, but gets devastated when he finds out Laney likes someone who isnt him

♡ This is during when they're in the beginning of high school

♡ Junior year Corey starts dating Carrie, (mainly to get his mind off of Laney who he still hasnt moved on from) the 2 dated for about roughly 2 years until they both broke up bc Corey still had unresolved feelings for Laney

♡ Meanwhile Laney and the dude she was interested in dated for about 3 years until she caught him cheating on her. With Laney breaking things off

♡ Laney kept her heart more boarded after that, and has major trust issues when it comes to relationships

♡ 4 years later, when all the band members are in their early 20s, Kin and Kon decided enough was enough and that Laney and Corey need to talk about their feelings, from middle school to high school to even now

Laney was sitting on the porch of the Riffin house, preparing to say goodbye to Grojband since she was off to college.

Seeing Corey at the edge of her eye she smirked when he looked at her.

"Hey, is that seat taken?" Corey asks as he points to the spot next to her on the porch.

She just shakes her head no and signals for him to sit.

"So it's been awhile since it's been just us two huh?" Corey says.

"Oh yeah. It's just my lifes been hella busy with studying and stuff." Laney replies.

"You're off to college right?" Corey questions.

"Yup. Peaceville College. Wanna become well known if I wanna be a musician." Laney says.

"Well you know I'll always be rooting for you Lanes." Corey says with a smile.

"Thanks Core." Laney smiles shyly with a blush.

The silence was played out for an awkward amount of time before Corey spoke up again.

"Kin and Kon mentioned something to me that's pretty crazy." Corey chuckles.

"Knowing those two anything's crazy. Whatd they say?" Laney asks.

"They told me you had a crush on me back in middle school." Corey says.

Laney gets wide eyed for a second. Contemplating on smacking those 2 Kujira twins a new one for telling Corey about her silly girl crush on him when they were kids, but decided against it since they're adults now and it's pretty much out in the open anyway.

"Oh! Y-yeah. I had a pretty big crush on you." Laney shyly says.

"Wow really? I honestly had no idea you liked me that way back then." Corey says somewhat suprised.

"Really? I thought I was being kinda obvious about it." Laney ponders.

"Extremely clueless. Sorry about that Laney." He said using her full name which never happens unless it's a serious convo.

"I sort of gave up once we reached high school, at the start of our freshman year." Laney says sadly.

"Yeah... I think that's when I realized I had a big dumb crush on you." Corey says.

Laney becomes shocked for a moment and looks at Corey, he looks back at her.

"Wow. Well that's dissapointing timing." Laney states.

"Yup. Sure is. You're off to college in 3 weeks." Corey says.

"Yeah... have you decided where you wanna go?" Laney asks.

"Yup. And it has something to do with Peaceville college!" Corey smiles at her goofily.

Laney gives a small smile back to him

Both of them hear clapping beside them and look up to see Kin and Lenny from the Newmans.

"Its about damn time." Lenny says with a knowing smirk on his face.

Corey walks to Kin. "How long have you guys been here?"

"Eh not that long." Kin says "Me and Kon have been waiting forever to get you and Laney alone."

"You guys rock." Corey smiles.

Speak of the devil, Kon came running out of the Garage. "Kin! Corey! Did I miss anything?"

"You sure did bro, it's as if love both punched them straight in the face." Kin said knowingly.

"AH! CALLED IT! You owe me 30 bucks Kin!" Kon says triumphantly.

Kin rolls his eyes and gives him the money.

Laney goes up to Kin and Kon and gives them a giant bear hug after getting done talking to Lenny. "Awhhh! I'm gonna miss you two boneheads so much!"

The twins smiled and gladly returned her hug.

"We'll miss you too Laney." Kin says with a smile.

"Yeah! We will think about you forever and ever until you come back!" Kon says cheerfully.

Laney releases them and looks at Corey.

Corey smiles.

They both embrace each other for a short period of time until they let go only for their faces to be close to each other. The two blush and look away and eventually let go.

Laney walks over to her car.

"See ya Core." She smiles at him

"In three weeks." He replies with a grin

"Meh, I've waited this long, three weeks is nothing." She smirks at him and gets in her car.

Laney drives off and Corey watches her car turn smaller as she drives away.

Corey started hearing a car honk horn. Seeing both Mina and Nick Mallory in the car.

"Sup Corey Riffin." Nick smiles.

"Hey Nick, Hey Mina, where you guys headed off too?" Corey asks.

"Nick's taking me out for Chinese food." Mina smiles.

"Is there anywhere you wanna be dropped off? Cus if so, Nick and Mina will be glad to help out Corey Riffin." Nick questions

"Hmm as a matter of fact..." Corey grins

Laney was waiting for the traffic light to turn green. While looking melancholic at a picture of Grojband, the 4 of them when they were still in middle school. Laney looks fondly at the picture before focusing her attention back to the road. But got startled once she heard two hands press roughly against her car window. She turns her head to see Corey with a goofy grin on his face.

"Corey, what the hell are you doing?" Laney asks as she gets out of her car.

"This." Corey says as he grabs her face with his hands and kisses her.

She immediately kisses back. Finally admitting that she never really let go of Corey at all. Grabbing onto his beanie while smiling.

Nick and Mina look at the two Nick with a knowing smile on his face.

"Woooow, I never really knew she had a thing for him." Mina says.

"Nick says, seriously?" Nick asks his girlfriend.

"NAH. Just messing with you, it was obvious to everyone." Mina chuckles.

They both drive off when Laney and Corey break apart for a bit.

"Well, how long have you wanted to do that frontman?" Laney asks.

"Since we accidentally kissed on new years." Corey smiles at her.

"Was it worth the wait?" She smiles.

"Totally." He grins and kisses her again.

♡ Goes to concerts with each other

♡ Corey likes how Laneys hair smells like strawberries

♡ Corey was a nervous wreck about having her parents know him as their daughters boyfriend now

♡ Take naps together

♡ When they have the same classes in college, they'll always sit next to each other

Most of this was inspired by the ending of Phineas and Ferb, also the first angsty part of this was inspired by this:

Hope you enjoyed :)

[parkminijiminie]

But I don't think jk makes them that much money since they have to spent a lot on him for his fraudalent songs to have some sort of relevancy, also it's undoubtedly how jm got literally push down after he went #1 like splitting like crazy version meanwhile jk can have 8 version combined, it's crazy how you guys choose to be blind only bc of a fake ship

I am not blind. In fact , I am probably thinking more cold-heartedly, objectively, and rationally than many people in this fandom.

I said that the company chose to invest heavily in JK because they *think* he has the potential to make them the most money for the longest period of time, not that he had already achieved it. Jungkook's solo career has just begun, and everyone knows that when starting a business, you have to put a lot of money in it before you see your profit.

That being said, what they spent on producing his songs has for sure been compensated already from the sales of the singles alone. Also, some of the " privileges " Seven and 3D received may have been secured with Mini Bike's connections and not necessarily through large amounts of money. Furthermore, remixes are not expensive to do, and if they contribute to him being on top of BB, the return would be way above the investment. "Making money" for an entertainment company is much more than just the profit from the sales. It's about stock prizes, power in the industry, and the value of the artists in the firm being used as tools for making new deals, publicity deals, brand deals, etc. Having big names in the label is beneficial in many different ways to the increase in profit of a company, apart from sales and tickets.

P.S. Jimin and Jungkook can never be "a fake ship" because, like it or not, they really do care, appreciate, and love each other a lot. No amount of people denying it will ever change the fact that they share a deep and unique bond and won't stop me from appreciating it.

Peace.

[winderlylandchime]

(Lets all say a silent thank you to my cousin who suggested that I record him at major moments last week) 2/3And Brian said there’s nothing noble about being poor. (And my brother lost his mind. Im glad you gave me a heads up that you guys were wondering about this scene so i could film him) ‘Wait!!!!! hold up!!! Pause it! I’ve had thoughts about brian and money and *waves his hands while fast walking* stuff but I need my laptop! (he has over 20 google tabs opened with research about colleges in Pittsburgh that could do marketing degrees, how much it would cost and shit like that. One tab was also ‘how to learn to play violin in less than a week’ he said he wanted to see if its really that hard) Okay so! I’ve been thinking A LOT about this. So Mike said they were in the same school, remember? But Mike dropped out or something like that from college which to be fair, so did I and I think I’m doing fantastic, haters that go by the name mom and dad may disagree but I’m here for a fun time not to cure cancer, anyway back to Brian. Brian has this big fancy wearing suit type of job and he’s a partner remember? So that unfortunately demands a resume with big words on it like “college”. So Brian definitely went to college and he obviously worked his ass off since clearly him and Mike are nowhere near each other cash wise. I mean a loft like that? That he probably owns? At 30? Plus the suit wearing job? Yeah, he did a lot of work and probably even had straight As. Probably even in high school so he could get into college AND like how he keeps going at Justin for school? Remember him being impressed by his SATs and how he would make him study like crazy. Shit I wouldn’t be surprised if he even quizzed him during sex. Poor Justin for sure got a boner while taking a test. Wait im getting distracted! Anyway his *gags* dad also took money for him AND HE HAD IT FUCKING READY! He went to see him and he already had it ready! And just before his nephew said Brians sister says he doesnt give them any money which clearly not true to some level but clearly they saw him make money and they took it. And we both know that house was on fire! It was burning every day! This dude made it out alive but he most definitely got 3rd degree burns. So he for sure knew the only way out was to turn 18 and get into college far away and then never come back unless it’s for a funeral to make 100% sure that they are in in that box. So him saying there’s nothing noble about being poor is coming from a different place than what Justin is dealing with with that fucker. That dude is just a broke college student who got offered a deal that kinda sucks BUT he said it himself to Jen, his parents payed for shit, they supported him. Meanwhile Brian? Every single thing he has down to his drugs was bought by him. And i doubt he’d ever take anything from anyone because you know how shitty abusive parents are? They buy you a box of cereal once and then throw it in your face for 3 years straight. So he probably never got anything from his parents and if he did it came with a price *looks at paused Brian on tv and takes a deep breath* and probably some bruises too. So him saying and thinking that, is coming from a place of survival and “look what i did for myself” when everyone probably told him he’s never gonna be anything except maybe dead. And sure he clearly loves money and power since he’s even willing to work with that fucker but in some way can you blame him? He was powerless all his life. But if that would be Ethan who would say that? Now that’s different. It’s not exactly survival in the same sense *looks at me in worry* i fear, i lost the plot of the point..i will make it back but i need to think. *plays the episode again* ‘WHY WOULD THEY MAKE HIM JERK OFF TO RAGE?! No matter what he’s always gonna be obsessed with Brian. HE IS RUNNING WITH SPERM IN HIS CUP! RUN FORREST RUN. Is that really how this was done?’

WOW the character analysis from your brother… I personally think he’s spot on (I’ve given a lot of thought to Brian’s SES background and where he is financially and professionally at the start of the show… too much thought? Nah.) (Btw tell your brother some day that the fandom thinks Brian went to Carnegie Mellon - I love all his open tabs) And this is happening in parallel to Stockwell - Brian is clearly a take the money and who tf cares where it’s from because he had to be, he didn’t have any alternative. His advice makes perfect sense for him to have survived.

Cosign your brother’s analysis.

[sanguinifex]

Right wing groups in America are almost exclusively members of Christian denominations who believe that child abuse and sexual harassment of teen girls via modesty culture is a sacred duty. I know because I was raised in one of those denominations, Eastern Orthodox Christianity. Its leadership in the US became infected with the ideas of Protestant theologian and sexual abuser Bill Gothard, best known for leading the denomination that the infamous Duggars from 20 Kids and Counting are part of. Let me put it this way: the only reason these groups don’t practice female genital mutilation (FGM) is that either they don’t have any awareness of it, or they think it’s a Muslim thing or a transgender thing or maybe a very racist “heathen black savages” thing.

The other right wing groups in America are capitalist business owners who don’t want to have to take any responsibility for their labor practices or their endangerment of consumers or their duty to their governments, aka paying taxes.

The two groups allied in the late 1940s, during the Truman presidency. Christian theocrats, then primarily represented by the Southern Democrats, split from the Democratic Party following Truman’s defection from their policy objectives (he hadn’t wanted to be FDR’s veep, was completely unprepared for the presidency when FDR died, and integrated the military and the federal government probably at least half to spite them) over opposing the New Deal and desegregation.

Crazy Christianity as a whole was less involved in politics at the time, and what there was of it typically believed in racial segregation and that “charity” should be the province of the Church. It was also typically much further left on labor rights (for white and white-ish people, anyway) than it is is today, which is why the Democratic Party was what it was prior to Truman.

Meanwhile, the Republican Party of the day were the same corporate Republicans of our day. They didn’t want to pay any more money to workers or the state, they wanted it to be legal to destroy the planet and give people cancer and pardon war criminals who used Auschwitz prisoner labor if it made money, and they considered allying with the racists and the crazies a necessary evil, if not simply smart business! They’re the parents or grandparents of the Koch Brothers. They’re the people who say “Well I’m perfectly fine with gay people, but the government really does need to balance its budget.” They’re baldfaced, self-interested parasites; the religious crazies at least mostly believe they’re doing the right thing for the wrong, even if they’re dead wrong about what that is, while the Rockefeller Republicans have never had any illusions about being morally correct or benefiting anyone other than themselves. Ayn Rand even somehow managed to blend the two factions by creating a borderline religion of selfishness as a virtue!

Capitalism is a poison, Christianity is a poison, the two are the fangs of the snake in the American garden that is the Republican Party, yes I do recognize how ironic that metaphor is, and I should really get back to work before I get in trouble.

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb!!!!!!? How are you? Happy valentine's day to you and my lovely MinAri🙏💞💞I obviously came here to ask my usual questions, but before I do so I hope uni's treating you well its probably a busy week for both uni and work so don't overwork yourself and make sure to take regular breaks between your studies. Now to the questionsss

1-what activities have minari done on valentine's day since they've started dating?

2-I'm sure you've seen all the crazy freaky tiktoks atz have been posting lately and are there any freaktoks miss mimi has released?like they've been driving me crazy lately?!!!! The last tiktok mimgi posted made me feel things I've never felt, meanwhile seonghwa being the silliest person ever and and jjongjoong not posting a single tiktok

3-you mentioned that hima was put with matz for their unit facecalls so are there any noticeable moments in the fancalls?my family actually

4-has hima done any form of classical music? (idk why but I've been really liking classical music lately and I spent the whole day listening to different covers and peices)

5-since both mingi and hima are silly and crazy in their own way, what is the dumbest argument they've had?

6-last question!!!! You probably saw the matz lego live and I was wondering if hwa has done one with mimi?they looked like disappointed asian parents when you tell them you don't wanna be a doctor(based on real life events even tho they still picked my major🫣)

love you so much bb!! Please take care of yourself for me!! 🙏💞

Hi sweets!!! 😘 I actually just finished the busiest stretch of the first half of this semester so now I have a week off from lectures (reading week) AND work since they're not giving out many hour today! But Happy Late Valentine's Day my Valentine 💐🥰🎀🩷 (you don't have a choice...). I LOVE QUESTIONS, LET'S GO;

• They started dating the 25th of this month, this is only their second valentine's day together so there haven't been many dates yet. Last year they had a concert on that day as well so they did not have much free time, especially not in the evening, so they decided to order room service breakfast and paint together with whatever art supplies the maknae had brought.

To them since they've been together for a little over six years it's more about simply being together in an intimate manner rather than going out on fancy dates - which is why many take place in gardens, in the city streets themselves or simply just reading together This year Mingi found a somewhat secluded cafe where they had breakfast together before going to a flower shop and walking around the city, since they both enjoy sightseeing

With Cha Eunwoo; In 2019 they went to a carnival and wore masks (children's masks like tigers, spiderman, a kitsune, etc.) to avoid being recognized. Being the little romantics that they were, they kissed during the fireworks display since they knew everyone would be too focused on the show to notice them. In 2020 they went camping in Jeju island and went to the local market in the morning to buy the ingredients necessary for breakfast

• The maknae's been going on a TikTok posting spree! I don't know what's in Europe right now but listen, San and Mingi have GOT to stop being so freaky on the app, just give me one day of peace! #KQreleaseMingistickychallenge

Himari; 'Push 2 Start' by Tyla. 'Be My Baby' by Ariana Grande. 'Angels in Tibet' by Amaarae. 'No Pole' by Don Toliver. 'The Hills' by The Weeknd (original choreo)

MinAri; 'Money Pull Up' by Blaiz Fayah, DJ Glad, and Maureen Walsh (with a few modifications). 'Carnival' by Kanye West, Ty Dolla $ign, and ¥$ (original choreo). 'Moonlight' by Kali Uchis (only on their personal accounts). 'She Will' by Lil Wayne & Drake (the infamous wall dance, now we all know that Mingi has very strong legs...so he decided to sit his pretty girlfriend right on his thighs as he did the trend, wtf even is media training ?)

• An Atiny asked them to pose like they would for a family portrait and they went to stand behind her, each putting a hand on her shoulder before kissing her on the cheeks. That fan left the call with a brand new wallpaper of a giggling Hima and the two oldest members being absolute cuties

Since members take calls in rooms close to each other the noise would get rather overwhelming for Hima at times - she didn't have her hearing aid since they were wearing earbuds which makes locating or separating noise very tricky - so she'd go quiet and scratch her wrists (a sigh of nervousness). Matz are very attentive so on some fan call recordings you can see them holding her hands to prevent any skin damage, in some they'd gently pat her hair and speak more quietly

They were given snacks by staff and the two older members had already finished theirs, which she noticed and immediately put a Pepero in each of their mouths (no warning, they were talkin and she just...shoved it in there)

A lucky Atiny has a recording of each member of Matz referring to their maknae as 'my daughter' after they asked about their thoughts on her recent achievements. She also said she sometimes misses sharing a room with them because there was always a sense of being surrounded, of being safe and watched over

• Hima rarely ever works with classical music, the only times that she does is when they use pieces for performances (she's usually the one that modifies the tracks for stages). Much like her older brother, she tends to lean more towards traditional music of her own culture, so traditional Japanese instruments & traditional Korean instruments, she's also been experimenting with Chinese instruments (but that's for later, wink wink)

• When they went to visit his parents during their time off they decided to cook but could not agree on how to cook the vegetables, Mingi wanted to boil them, Hima wanted to cook them in the pan with the meat. When Mrs. Song came home with some groceries, she found the two of them arguing back and forth about why their method was the best - eventually taking her daughter-in-law's side.

After that the two of them kept pouting at each other, 'mad' that the other wouldn't trust them enough to let them cook vegetables...but they eventually made up when he admitted that her method was better. They barely spoke to each other after that tiny argument though, letting out little scoffs whenever they passed by one another - though it was far from being anything serious

• They often build Lego together, usually in the privacy of their own dorm rooms but there were several times where one of them turned on a livestream to interact with their fans while relaxing. One time Hwa teased her by hiding one of the pieces she needed for the last step and was ratted out by the comments after she'd looked for it for 5 whole minutes...so she hid one of his pieces too, in her mouth. Five minutes after the oldest began looking for it she asked for his hand, putting her chin in it - and he thought it was just aegyo but she spit the piece back out in his palm...

They usually have their own sets at the beginning of the live but end up working on both together because one of them ends up getting curious about what the other is doing, stopping what they're doing to hand over pieces, read instructions, stare, etc.

Love you too my Mina!! Keep taking good care of yourself, rest well, eat well and drink well!! 🥰🩷

[trixcuomo]

The Blood Elf Bachelor

Meanwhile at Coco's goblin therapy clinic...

The dashing redhead just had to stroll into my office. Of all the clinics in all of Bilgewater, why did he have to come to see me?

You have to understand, Lord Sunthraze Sunthraze, that is, the double Sunthraze heir, is my step sister's ex and the biggest mistake she ever made. Not because he is slightly an asshole. Not because he's a smartmouth or conceited. Lotsa male elves fall into that sorry golden slop bucket. It's because she missed out on that same swaggering, full-of-himself jackass. He's just as awful as she is, really. They've been repellin' each other, but they honestly need each other so much.

And, as Trixany's savvy Goblin step sista, I have to tell you--Sunthraze is loaded as well. Like, crazy rich Blood Elf loaded! Ever since the Third War, he came into stupid money, like stupid, the Scourge ate the rest of your relatives and half the town, and it's all been passed down to you money. Arthas practically blessed this poor boy on the head with Frostmourne.

Plus, he has the Hawkstrider ranch. Hawkstrider stock has skyrocketed since monohorns went extinct in Quel'thalas, after the conflict.

Only those two refuse to lay down their weapons, their awful personalities, and see sense. She wants fortune and fame, he has at least half that. Y'all could figure out the rest--come on, people!

Put it this way. Their crazy, coocoo bananas marriage would've been the one Haris Pilton Entertainment Corp reality show that should've been made. Entertaining, egregious, endearing, effed up, all the best E words.

"Well! It's so funny seeing you here!" He said, just beaming as he strolled into my office. Three-piece phoenix red suit. Platinum pinky ring. Frilly sleeves. Gilded, two-inch heels on his scarlet riding boots. A Rivendell inspired man-tiara, made by elves not even in this universe. I kid you not.

"Well, I work here. My name's on the side of the building. Goblin Airborne Clinic, 64th Regiment."

"I'd say you're on the directory, near the buzzer to get in."

Ass. I didn't say that, though. "Look, can I help you?"

"What I meant was, I was looking for an um, well... therapist-sort. And here you are! You just happen to be Trixany's best friend, too. Her closest confidant. You two are always together, aren't you? Happy coincidence!"

"I'm her sister."

"You... wait." His eyes glazed over.

Fun to watch him suffer due to his own prejudices. But then I finally nudged him off the hook. "Step sista, by marriage? My goblin father married her Blood Elf mother. That was after we were born. We met as teenagers."

"Hrmm..."

"Hrm?"

"So if. If I were to go through with... I'd be related to goblins."

"Go through with what?"

He sat down and looked half-wild. His eyes were bright, he gripped the chair arms until his knuckles went white.

Then, through clenched teeth, "I've got to do this. I just have to! She's been driving me crazy all these years!"

Do? I started to suspect what. I sighed, handed him a confidentiality agreement that he signed, then I flipped it around and signed it, too. Stamped it, filed it.

"Go on, get it off your chest."

"This year, my new year's resolution is to finally marry your sister!!"

"Ho boy." I had to take that in. It took a while. "She doesn't know? It doesn't work like that; you have to ask her, first."

"I will ask her first in hell! Do you know what she'd do to me if I ever asked her outright? Or attempted to court her in some straightforward fashion? Again?! Oh no, that is just what she wants! To drag me through it. I need a strategy, something I've never tried before. And you're going to help me. I signed the paper, didn't I? And, I paid. At the front desk! I paid a ransom, a king's ransom for your unique consult."

I blinked. I stared.

"Well?"

"May I ask, if you despise dealing with my sista so much, why do you want to marry her?"

"That would take a whole other session to explain but I... Well. We survived a war together, in Outland." He paused, his tone softened, "I think she's lovely. I truly miss her. And, I suppose I hurt her. Or, I hurt her after she hurt me... Anyway, I'd like another chance. A last chance. Even if I have to hogtie her and throw her over the pommel of my Thalassian Charger to make her at least hear me out!" He chewed his nails, looking feral again, "Lady Liadrin also has a spare cell down at the garrison, if need be. I could get the key..."

That went so well till the end there. Blood Knights freak me out, man.

"Look. I will take your money and betray my sista on one condition, cause we could use the ratings... You need to make this the funniest, craziest thing we have eva done here, on Team Trixany."

Sunthraze winked right at the camera, smized straight down the lens. Master fourth-wall breaking bastard that he is. Then he shrugged slightly, relaxed. Began to undo his silk tie, unbutton his shirt collar. "I can uh, make it spicy, too."

I folded my green hands ontop of my desk, "And otha than the ratings, I guess I just want you to take her far, far away from me. At least for a while. I would like a peaceful, drama-free year, myself. A year free of Haris Pilton and Night Elf himbos. I really have been dreaming of it. Maybe it could even become my show after a while. Team Coco! Can you do that?"

Sunthraze was busy flouncing his long, blood-red hair, flirting with the camera.

Eh, I didn't stop him. It's a thousand gold an hour for a goblin airborne consult, and as I said before, this redheaded mook is loaded!

[strawberryseeded]

veryveeeeeeeery personal vent :P

2day a had a HUGE breakdown ….ha.ha… of course it was abt my job. n my health.

i got out of work (after one of the WORST days in a long time) TEAR EYED n sniffling like stupid. started walking 2 get off sum steam .or something. walked (sobbing) til reaching the more commercial street n was like i deserve smt nice !! so i bought some air-dry clay. sobbed inside the store also (trying rly hard to actually keep my cool. it just was impossible). but got the clay. yay. got out n sobbed some more while walking. saw sum cute tees on a store window. thought i deserve this too !!!! is the money worth it if i feel like this????? no way in hell!!!!!!!!!!! but im Trying to make it worth it!!!!! rly cute tees btw, i ended up buying both of them 👍they were soooo cheap<3 *sobbing again as i write this! * *

pics of the tees :)

i actually couldnt find a pic of the chocolate one but its similar to the one i put here. just cooler(?)

anyways

when i got home 4 the 1st time i vented 2 my friends abt part of it, how tired and worried i was n they immediatly were like brother this is clearly somatization at play..,n i was likee hehe yeah maybe :P *keeps crying *

my mom got home sum hrs later, i broke down in front of her as wellll.......i was like mom this isnt normal this yr i got sick SIX TIMES since i started working, one time after another. i hv NEVER gotten sick so many times before tell me im not crazy n you are thinking the same as i am. she was like what do you mean. i answered MY JOB my job its getting me sick. she said you dont know that. maybe they arent related you werent sick last year and you had the same job. and what are you gonna do if not this, anyways? have you thought about it? i said No (crying) bc i HAD thought abt it, several times since last yr, but absolutely NOTHING has come to mind since then. which is the important part & what she was asking anyways.

i told her im not asking you to fully support me until i find another job. i just need you to agree with me that this isnt NORMAL.

her: you need to go to the clinic. get some studies done. go to therapy. then we'll talk. you can't quit your job, what are you gonna do in the meantime?

me: i dont Know!!! that's whats freaking me OUT!!! * SOBS AND SOBS*

her: well then TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS to know what are you gonna do!

me: i get it but i can't stand to keep getting sick anymore!!

in the end we both went to the farmacy n she bought me a shitton of vitamins and cough syrup etc etc.

sighs.

idk

im so lost. i was so set on "enduring and search for smt else in the meanwhile".. it seemed like the perfect plan!!! but apparently the enduring part was... way harder than what i expected? (as u can see the search. did not bear fruits) which makes me feel really really pathetic ;_;

in general my job makes me feel rly pathetic and vulnerable and like im not cut for it!!! (and keep in mind i went to SCHOOL for it. it was my choosen career!!!) that's why everytime i talk abt it here im so vague abt it n just say i hate it or that it tires me out a lot, or that im gonna kms one of these days(lol) . irl its kinda the same i just try to sound more positive and like im a normal, functional member of society even tho i dont feel like that At all. bc if I dont its just SAD.

where was i going w this....

god. idk. i just. i fantasize everyday abt quitting. everyday. but i just cant. i feel so alone and useless, both when im working and also off the clock bc i just cant help but drag with me everything i think & feel abt the "worker me" everywhere i go.

wouldnt want anyone i love to ever feel this way.

anyways. u hv NO IDEA how much my eyes sting rn, they hv all day. idk if its bc i cried so much.. also im still sick so im rly rly tired..:( so im just gonna stop now.

i still have hope and dreams, despite it all! i just hv 2 yet find the way to turn them into reality.