#guess what I didn't end up with?

[korya-elana]

I seriously need someone else to take the reins at doctor's appointments at this point. I'm sick of being spoken down to and my issues being disregarded and I just grit my teeth and smile and nod along because I'm too afraid of conflict to stand up for myself in that kind of setting because I'm worried about being labelled a problem and consequently never getting the help I need again as a severely disabled adult. I don't even have a history of medical abuse what the fuck. I'm so mad. This doctor is so bad.

[micamone]

hewwo

[devilsskettle]

The X trilogy + "psycho-biddy" influences

[ineed-to-sleep]

*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it

[shitpostingkats]

It's been years and I'm still thinking about how Ace Attorney accidentally made Sebastian and Klavier the same class at Themis. And Seb was VALEDICTORIAN. Capcom accidentally made it so the international rockstar who actually seems to give quite a shit about being a good lawyer and projects himself like a flawlessly cut diamond, was NOT the top of his grade. That honor went to this pathetic kitten of an orchestra kid who can't spell "affidavit" and bursts into tears every five minutes.

[hazmatmaid]

A year ago I was inspired to make something that captured the exact aesthetic of a vintage, degraded VHS recording from the 90s, and I think I'm pleased with what I attempted.

[kyouka-supremacy]

BSD Official Guidebook Gongeroku - Uemura Yuto & Ono Kensho interview

※ As usual, I'm heavily relying on automatic translators for this, so if you notice any mistake, please feel free to bring it to my attention! I'll be posting the original text in reblogs.

Thank you for your hard work in recording seasons 4 and 5. The story has now come to an end, with the story left “to be continued���¹.

Uemura: In “Two Hours Later,” Atsushi (Nakajima) and Ryunosuke (Akutagawa) trust each other; the exchange “Just the two of us?” "Do we need more?” also occurs in episode 53, but this time Atsushi is smiling a little. He says “Let's go, Akutagawa”, and takes on the challenge. I think it was a very hopeful ending, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the relationship between the two will develop. Also, I'm curious about Akutagawa's outfit. He had something on his head… Ono: That's right. (Akutagawa) looked strong. It seems like he's regained his sense of self, so what will happen next? What are Akutagawa and Atsushi fighting against? I'm curious about it all. I felt like the 5th season ended on an interesting note.

The story ended with Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting together, but looking back at the first season, what do you think has changed about Atsushi and Akutagawa?

Ono: I think the biggest thing is that now they're able to have a conversation. Uemura: That's right. At first, the two of them couldn't have a conversation at all. Atsushi said “I don't understand you at all” (Episode 23). Ono: The relationship started out with each saying “this is what I think'”, not listening to what the other person had to say, and then fighting, so that's where the biggest change happened. I really felt this change during the conversation on the ship² at the end of Season 3 (Episode 37), where they say: “Don't kill anyone for six months. Then you will come to see the truth in its simplest form”. Uemura: Atsushi started out thinking “I can't survive like this”, but then he joined the Armed Detective Agency and found himself in a position to save people. In the process, he made various choices, thinking about what Dazai (Osamu) would do, and what his colleagues at the Armed Detective Agency would do. He was finally able to accept himself and think that maybe there was a meaning to his life. In particular, the movie Bungo Stray Dogs: DEAD APPLE and the conversation with the headmaster (episode 31 part 2) were major turning points for him. He was able to face his inner self. I think that it was through these experiences that he was eventually able to make that “promise” with Akutagawa. Ono: Akutagawa is always one step ahead of Atsushi. But Atsushi is grows up really fast, right? He is the main character after all (laughs). So I think that Atsushi is gradually beginning to see Akutagawa³. Uemura: That's right. I think Atsushi originally had a very narrow vision. But after going through various experiences, his vision has finally broadened. And I think he's now able to see Akutagawa clearly. If you have a narrow vision, you can't accept any way of thinking different from your own; but as your vision gradually broadens, you start to accept that there are other ways of thinking, too. I think that's why he was able to have a dialogue.

On the contrary, what do you think remains the same about Atsushi and Akutagawa?

Uemura: Atsushi has grown and become more confident, but he still panics when he hits a wall. I've been playing Atsushi for a long time, so I'd like him to be to take a decision more quickly, but Wakabayashi Kazuhiro (sound director) would tell me, “It's too early, not yet” “It's not time yet”. When you can see what's ahead, you just want to move forward, but Atsushi takes many detours and puts his full effort into each step. I think that's what makes Atsushi unique, so I always try to cherish it. Ono: One thing that remains unchanged about Akutagawa is that he is always aware of Atsushi. I think that the relationship between Akutagawa and Atsushi, with Dazai in the middle, has not changed at all, and Akutagawa is the one who is acutely aware of that. In Season 5, Akutagawa says that fighting alongside Atsushi is “a trial (that was given to him by Dazai)”, but even though he says that, the fact that he's also aware of Atsushi has not changed.

The “trust” between the two was evident in their deadly battle against Ochi Fukuchi (episodes 53 and 54).

Ono: When Akutagawa was wounded by Fukuchi Ouchi's Amenogozen, and he says "You fool, get out of here" as he lets Atsushi escape, in the original comic Akutagawa has a sad expression on his face. However, in the anime, he has a desperate expression during the fight. The difference is very striking. I felt like the expression in the anime was an expression that matched the visual flow. That left a strong impression on me.

Afterwards, Akutagawa, who has turned into a vampire, faces Atsushi at the airport (Episode 60).

Ono: By this time, Akutagawa had completely become a vampire. I was able to record the scene with Uemura-kun, but… Uemura: Ono-san seemed to have a hard time. Atsushi tries his best to talk to Akutagawa, saying “It's me, don't you recognize me?”, but he can't get the conversation going. When he called out “Akutagawa!”… Ono: “Shhhh”. Uemura: That was all. But there was a moment when he regained a little sense of self. Ono: That was the toughest one. I put a lot of thought into how to express it. Uemura: In that scene, Atsushi was hoping that he would regain his sense of self. I think that was a kind of dynamic that had never existed before.

Having performed for so long up to season 5, what does “Bungo Stray Dogs” mean to you two?

Ono: This is a project that I'm putting my life on the line for. Akutagawa also puts his life on the line, so I feel like that is something we have in common. I think there is something I can learn from Akutagawa's desperation and his approach in facing challenges. When Akutagawa first appeared in the first season, Wakabayashi-san told me: “He doesn't sound strong”. It's a statement I still recall. The recording of Akutagawa started from there, so I hope I have been able to improve on that now, and I would like to continue to do my best without letting my guard down. Uemura: After recording the scene with Atsushi and Akutagawa, Wakabayashi-san said: “It looks like both of them have a lot more to scream”⁴. Ono: Oh, did he say that? Uemura: That's right. I'm so grateful for receiving such words. “I want you to go even further”, isn't that what they meant? I feel that if Bungo Stray Dogs will continue from now on, I will have to do something even further than that. Ono: I see. I guess I'll have to give it my best as well. Uemura: Personally, I would like to see what happens to Atsushi in the future, so I'm looking forward to the next developments.

In the fifth season, Dazai refers to Atsushi and Akutagawa as “the soukoku of a new era”⁵. In season 5, there was a scene where the soukoku duo of Dazai and Nakahara Chuuya played an active role; do you think the two of you can lead a new era?

Ono: Uhm, neither Akutagawa nor Atsushi are as smart as Dazai (laughs). Uemura: Right. I would like to see more of Atsushi and Akutagawa joining forces… But Chuuya and Dazai are both still very active (laughs). Ono: Yes. Both of them are still amazing. I don't think Akutagawa and Atsushi can realistically compete. Well, let's try our best to achieve that goal. Uemura: As the story progresses, I think it would be great if the two of them could become a duo known as Soukoku. It's different Soukoku from Dazai-san and Chuuya, it's a Soukoku that is unique to the two of them.

¹ The 「未了」 of the episode 11 ending ² This bit confused me, but they are indeed using 「船」 ship. They're probably referring to how the scene was showed as flashback while Atsushi was on Fitzgerald's ocean liner. ³ 「それでだん だん敦にも、芥川が見えてきたんだ なと思いますね。」 not sure about this one. Began to see Akutagawa in his own eyes? Began to see Akutagawa in himself? ⁴ 「まだまだ2 人とも叫べそうだな」 not sure about this one either 😔 Is it “it looks like both of them can scream even more”? ⁵ Unless I'm widely mistaken, this is a misattribution; Dazai says this in episode 24, not in season 5 (please correct me if I'm wrong). I don't remember Dazai saying anything similar in season 5.

[nuclearanomaly]

Oh, bookstore girl I wonder what your name is

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

A Tempest of Tea

first in a YA fantasy duology

follows a young immigrant woman in a fantasy Victorian city who runs a tearoom that doubles as an illegal bloodhouse for vampires at night

when their business is threatened, she gets a chance to save it by teaming up with her best friend, a rich girl with a talent for forgery, a vampire artist, and a mysterious city guard to do a heist to infiltrate high society and collect a logbook that may reveal the extent of the corruption in the city

fantasy city with a masked ruler, arthurian elements, themes of colonialism

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

okay so, having now seen furiosa: a mad max saga opening night and having Ruminated on my thoughts, I am going to give my two-pence on the movie even though nobody asked or wanted it - you're getting it anyway!

but before going into the full thing, I actually re-watched fury road today, bc I just wanted to contrast it now that we know furiosa's full story that lead her to her trek in fury road, and I just had mad max on the brain (and also I love that movie).

spoilers under the cut below!!

first, I already knew before seeing the prequel, that that scene in fury road where furiosa breaks down after learning about what happened to 'the green place,' was going to now hit 2x as hard once we learn what really happened the moment she was ripped away, and...yeah, it's super painful to watch. it was already a very emotional scene, but now having known how much pain and struggle it costed her, how many times furiosa desperately made her bet to get back home and fell short - you can really feel her grief

funnily enough though, I was shocked to find myself tearing up not during that scene, but when furiosa was reunited with the last of the many mothers. having just watched her ripped away so unfairly as a defenseless child, her whole world destroyed and clinging onto this dream of one day, getting to embrace her family - you can't help it!! I started tearing up when the other woman rushed to furiosa, embracing her with the gentle touch of their foreheads, 'this is our furiosa' 😭 like..she did it!! she made it home!!! - also, I learned in the credits - that woman was actually the same little girl, valkyrie, in furiosa who was her friend!!! that girl saw her friend get snatched and pulled away from their home, and then finally, both grown, they reuinite! I just thought that was sweet

what max says to her about hope in the scene after they find the mothers, 'if you can't fix what's broken..you'll go insane.' - my mind immediately jumped to dementus. we get this glimpse that he once had a wife and child(ren) he loved, that were either taken from him or killed, and he tells furiosa in their stand-off more or less how that destroyed him mentally, further plunging him into this hateful madman who acts so cruelly to others. he couldn't 'fix' it by getting them back ('I want them back!!' 'I can't!!'), the one thing he loved that kept him sane, and so he lost his humanity.

I saw a post of someone saying how ricktus's death (immortan joe's son) is 10x more satisfying after having seen what he (nearly) did to child furiosa...abso-fucking-lutely (though, I think with that in mind, furiosa should've gotten a part in it..)

also, max & and furiosa's dynamic after knowing about her & jack...the parallels! the parallels!! their gradual bond of trust, how fluidly they work together to kill/fight the enemies of the citadel akin to her and jack vs. dementus and gang, etc.

this saga, of course, is about hope and redemption, alluded to in both fury road and the prequel. in fury road, max says (I think in his opening monologue) how he was once strived to be a 'righteous warrior', who could do good and help others. later, when one of the wives finds the warboy nux, he's distraught bc he thinks his chances for greatness are gone, but then she tells him that maybe, he's destined for something greater - and that would be, of course, later sacrificing himself to save her and the rest by crashing the rig into the war party. in furiosa, jack says how his parents were valiant warriors, and how he hopes one day, he could be the same - also, later, fulfilling that by sacrificing himself so that furiosa might escape dementus and the destroyed gastown. it's just such an amazing string of parallels - all three men, looking to do something great, and then, through furiosa, they're given that chance and achieve something good even amongst the destruction!! but it's only bc of furiosa, this harbinger of hope, that they do so - she's the tie between them all, the embodiment of that goodness!!! it's! just! so! good!!!

honestly there's probably way more parallels out there I'm sure ppl will bring up, but those were the things that struck me. now, onto my actual thoughts on the prequel.

--I'll start by saying I was unbelievably excited to see this movie. I'm annoyed though, bc despite knowing about it and wanting to see it once it was released, I literally only learned it was coming out a week before the release date. straight up, the press for it was so poor, not once did I hear about it before the trailer randomly crossed my feed one day - and considering how popular fury road is, I find that bizarre (but, I'll bet you a good couple bucks, that the press/hype was deliberately poor bc of the movie company execs, due to this being a female lead film 😠) - but it did mean I didn't have to wait too long, and that I did watch the trailer about 13 times on my own accord until then..

--having read the reviews, I do agree, it is a bit slower then fury road - but, that's really only bc it's a character story instead. fury road takes places in the current time of the film and the actions that follow, whereas the prequel is specifically about furiosa, so it's honed less to the action and more about a certain character, in my opinion. but it's just as good for a character story! it does an excellent job of unfolding furiosa's journey, and really, if you're gunna compare everything in the franchise to fury road, it's never gunna live up. that said, there's still excellent action and real nail-biting moments.

--I will say though, that I found it almost...darker, then fury road? fury road is definitely intense and there's of course violence, but it never openly tips into anything past pg-13; the darkness that is there, is more or less touched upon by the narrative (like, we can get a sense of what must've happened to the wives (ie assault) and why they escaped once we see how immortan joe regards them as property, the suffering furiosa must've went through by the pure vitriol look she gives him when their cars are side-by-side and later, 'remember me?' before killing him (my favourite scene)). but it's never explicit - furiosa is. from the torture of her mother, to that scene right after the max cameo when he drops furiosa off at the citedel's underground where I literally had to cover my eyes and ask my friend to say when it was done..there's an overtone of darkness that gives to the tragedy of furiosa, this child molded from pain (not to mention, again, that scene of ricktus and her as a child which to me, was the most nerve-wracking moment). fury road gives you a glimpse, but furiosa doesn't hold back.

--chris hemsworth, meanwhile, made an excellent villain. not just as an actor, but dementus as a character was fantastic. he's got lots of great lines and brings in a lot of humor - he's both deranged and erratic, while also clever and simultaneously childish, and mostly, cruel. he's wonderfully dynamic. bringing in a backstory of losing his wife/child was a great added piece to his story (I love a good backstory), and the way he takes the loss of his kid and tried to mold it around furiosa, tries to fill that empty piece inside, was a great choice in terms of their dynamic. it made him more then just a mad-man who stole a child for yuks - he had a deeper desire to tote furiosa around, almost as a security blanket in the same way the teddy bear also acts as one. his final monologue was great - the ramblings of a hateful man, but it was, in the end, what got furiosa to see past vengeance, and become better - to choose hope, and not destruction.

--anya taylor-joy did a great job I thought - while I wish furiosa had more lines, she made up for it in just the facial expressions and how full they were, really giving us a glimpse of what furiosa was feeling. even still, it would've been nice to have known what was going on in her head, or even hear her talk about her past - the green place, and then dementus, are the pure driving force of her character, yet she doesn't ever mention or grapple with her grief around these things, simply stays silent (except for the final confrontation with dementus). I would've loved maybe, if she had confided in jack, or maybe even one of the wives, to give more depth to her feelings.

--I also wish furiosa could've bonded with someone else besides jack, or at least before him. it would've been nice for to have had at least one ally, or, I dunno, a friend? like that war boy who had dwarfism - she seemed almost sad, when realizing after the battle that he was dead. instead, she's alone, but a fellow misfit friend could've been nice.

--speaking of jack, loved him! thought he was great! it's unfortunate his part was so short, would've loved delve into his background (also, I'm as gay as they come, but he's like..an objectively Good Looking Man, so well done all around).

--I was really nervous, for how they were gunna do the romance. I was against it initially, bc the great thing about fury road, was that romance was not at all forced into the narrative - you can read that between max & furiosa if you want, but for one of the very, very few times when a woman and man team up, romance wasn't forcefully wedged in, and instead they could be respected allies. so I was skeptical - and then I totally fell for them. they were so sweet! the two actors had great chemistry - their bond was just so soft. the way, after they crash and are caught by dementus, furiosa, who can barely stand, gently leans herself into jack's shoulder, sweetly muttering to each other as he leans his forehead back against hers, like 😩😩 it was so lovely, and so tragic. you could really feel the respect and care they had for each other; it was so organic, bc jack genuinely wanted to help furiosa. he respected her and asked nothing of her - he was a purely good man, and through that, furiosa was able to open up to him and trust him. it's the great curse of the mad max universe though - no romance can escape it's claws, same with how nux and one of the wives were torn apart. in my heart of hearts though, there lives a little AU fic where dementus doesn't catch them, and they make their way back to the green place and live happily ever after with a kid perhaps, and maybe, furiosa and him go back to later rescue the wives (they say, like they're not thinking of already writing that very fic...).

--one more thing about furiosa I wanted to mention, if I can call back to earlier saying how she becomes a beacon of hope for the various men that enter her life (and the women too, when you think of the wives..) - that, despite all this horror handed to her, at the very end of the rope, she gives into her hero's heart. time over, we see, even as the destruction of the wasteland chips away at her, furiosa can never quite betray her heart. she runs back to her mother even after being pushed to leave, she goes back for jack despite having the perfect escape to finally make it back home, and in the end, takes all her hurt and anger wrapped up in dementus, and turns it and him into something that can bring good into the world. it's about choosing good, above all!! a hero's heart, even in the darkest of worlds!!!

--the trailer really emphases the green place, but we only see it for like...a couple minutes? I was looking forward to more lore about it, maybe seeing some of it's inhabitants like the mothers. but furiosa is taken immediately and then her mother starts her hunt after her, and that's it. kinda a bummer.

--there's a couple inconsistencies here and there - like, when furiosa is first brought to where the wives are kept, there's gotta be about 20 women in there, roughly. but then, as she becomes a young adult, we see at the very end her approach the 5 wives from fury road (I was expecting a call-back, so loved that) and it looks like there's only them there - what happened to the rest of the women??? did they all die in childbirth?? also, when furiosa runs away and hides herself as a warboy/mechanic, how did no one know she was gone?? it seems odd, since immortan joe specifically picked her out and probably has a mental line-up of all his 'treasures', you'd think he'd notice. or how, later on, the new 'imperior' with jack looks oddly similar to that young girl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

--also, I wanna know how furiosa got away with being the only female imperior - you'd think immortan joe might snag her away instead to be a wife bc she's young and viable, or that she'd be either dismissed or preyed upon by his sons/the other men. maybe because she was partnered with jack it was easier, but that was kinda confusing.

--final thing, bc this post is already too long - my last gripe is mainly about furiosa's dynamic with immortan joe. in furiosa, her revenge is purely motivated towards dementus, but then, switching to fury road, she now holds contempt and anger towards the warlord. part of what I wanted to see in the film, was her past with immortan joe; we didn't know initially how furiosa got to the citadel, but my interpretation, was always that possibly (because she was branded with the logo on her neck) she was brought on as a wife, inevitably abused by him, and then something happened where she was no longer useful as a wife (maybe an accident that cost her her arm) but was still useful as a tool. but, immortan joe isn't really looked at in the prequel; he's here and there, but doesn't show any particular cruelty or act towards furiosa that I was expecting. that vitriol she shows in fury road, and of course, 'remember me?', makes you think there was something there to fuel furiosa's revenge. instead, nothing really occurs between them - of course, furiosa is brought on to breed him children and then is expected to do his every bidding in getting supplies, so, I think we're supposte to assume that she has seen how cruel he is up close, and so acts against him. still, I was expecting something deeper there.

all in all, I loved it and had a great time. fury road will always be one of my favourites, but this is a great addition. fury road is great on all fronts; a fascinating world, great characters, amazing action, a well-made and clearly cared for story, but the thing I love most - is that it's about hope. it's about choosing, every day, despite the horrors around you, to get up and hope for something better. to do something better, even at your own cost. it's about hope and what we mean to each other when we extend it. and I just love that so much

go see furiosa! support it! it's a great time!

[front-facing-pokemon]

[quirkle2]

drew this all the way back in november, before i wrote the ending to recondite; this is what i originally planned in my vague outline, but the fic ended up going in a different direction, so this is inaccurate now. think of this as an alternate ending for funsies i guess VGEAIVGIY

[coconut530]

[viperwhispered]

And here she actually is

*jazz hands*

an actual sprite for Emi, if you can believe it

Smushed together from different bits and pieces thanks to @alchemivich's assets. Hair is from pngimg with a CC BY-NC 4.0 license, I'll put the link in the replies.

Thanks to Deuce, random dormless background student, Cater, Azul and random Styx scientist for their contributions for making this happen.

Tagging @scint1llat3 @diodellet @moonyasnow @bibi-cha

If anyone else would like to tagged for Emi stuff, please let me know!

You can find more information on my yuusona Emi here on the masterlist.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Very assorted - and probably disorganized - thoughts on Akutagawa's immediate reaction on the night Dazai left the pm, since it's taken a pretty delineate shape in my mind for some time now.

I didn't use to have many strong opinions on how Akutagawa acted when Dazai left (although “unknown” uses as a concept of its own. Akutagawa disappearing, and no one knows where he was or what he did– until he comes back, but as a different man). That is up until recently, when I found this fic that described Chuuya storming to Akutagawa's place and all but threatening him to come to work the day after, and for all the days to come– and thus, urged him not kill himself. And I didn't think much about it initially, yet the scene slowly, unconsciously got ingrained in the bsd canon I have in my mind. And although one could fairly think Chuuya was spiraling in his own depressive episode that night, I feel like it's feasible to believe he'd still look out for Akutagawa. Not because Chuuya cared about Akutagawa in particular (at that point of the story, I genuinely think he didn't experience any strong feeling of any kind for Akutagawa, much less had a general good impression of him), but simply because that's what Chuuya does: he looks out for his own. He's perceptive enough to grasp that Akutagawa was but a kid at serious risk in that moment, and he's compassionate enough to go out of his way to help him, even though they barely knew each other, even though Chuuya himself was hurting like crazy that night (and perhaps even because that's simply what he does to cope with great distress and impending grief: keeps himself busy, tries to think of others before himself).

And there was, indeed, a very real chance Akutagawa was going to kill himself that night. Maybe he wouldn't, for Gin; but I'm not even sure. Dazai was the man who told Akutagawa he would have found a reason to live in the mafia, and now he's gone, the man who himself had seemingly become his reason to live; what's left for him in life anymore, what's the point of going on?– is probably what he must have wondered.

In my mind, the Akutagawas only have had two houses since they joined the pm. The first one was a small but comfortable, nice apartment that was assigned to them by the pm right after they joined, their first proper house. The second, a bigger, more comfortable penthouse, they had to move in after Ryuunosuke completely destroyed their first one on the night Dazai left– caught up in that kind of uncontrollable rage that only comes from inhuman pain. That night, Ryuunosuke got home blind and out of reason. He asked Gin to go away, and when she refused to, he pushed her out of the house with his ability, despite having always refrained from touching her with it, despite having always paid careful attention to never use his ability near or on her. And as soon as she was out of range he started destroying everything with and without his ability, until he could see nothing but red, everywhere. And once he destroyed everything, once the only thing left to destroy was himself, he cowered in a dark angle and howled, covered in blood, unable to speak, hideous and inhuman, nothing but a rabid dog. And his scream echoed the one he released the night he met Dazai for the first time; and if that day he had experienced his first emotion, now he was feeling a second new, deeply painful one. Maybe that's when Chuuya had come in, and told him he was not allowed to kill himself; maybe Gin had called Hirotsu, and Hirotsu had called Chuuya, and Chuuya stormed in, and ordered him to come to work tomorrow. Because Chuuya is smart; because he knows that orders are something familiar for Akutagawa, something that can help ground him; because he knows Dazai is not worth killing oneself over. And Akutagawa didn't kill himself that night, and he kept hurting for a long time, but eh. Eventually, he'll be okay.

[coquelicoq]

i fucking love prereading. getting documents about what's going to be discussed in a meeting and reading them and then going to the meeting and having context for all the things that are happening. if i could do this in all areas of life i would. send me a list of the words i'm going to need the definition of in order to understand what you will be talking about. give me a rundown of what topics might come up during this social encounter. provide detailed documentation of what to expect in a new setting. i will read the fuck out of that shit.