#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital

[ineed-to-sleep]

*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it

[graveyardlifeguard]

Survivors Part 1

Summary: Occurs during the events of Season 4x13 and Season 4x14.

*This is my first attempt at writing after many, many years so please go easy on me*

Warnings: Shooting, Injury, Blood

Strictly Angst with a teeny tiny bit of Fluff

Eddie Diaz x Paramedic! Reader

The shift started out as normal as it usually did. I mean, as normal as it could for the 118. I had picked up an extra night shift to try and help C Shift with a staffing issue they were currently having. Eddie, my fiancée, had already gone home for the night after our regular shift. As much as I would have loved to go home with him, I knew the extra money would be nice to have for the costs of planning a wedding.

I had only been at work for 3 hours, but I was already exhausted after having a cardiac arrest and a car flip over on the highway. Back-to-back. Shutting the back doors of the ambulance after restocking, I made my way upstairs to the kitchen area to grab a snack. It was currently 10pm and everyone else was in bed for the night. Right after grabbing a left-over slice of pizza out of the fridge, the bell and pager went off once again for a sick call at a nearby apartment complex.

My partner for the night, Alicia, quickly made her way out of the dorm rooms before shuffling towards the truck.

"Is there no such thing as a break?!" She yells from the passenger side of the truck.

I laugh as I move down the stairs towards the driver's side.

"What does the nice, bustiling city have for us this time?" I ask as Alicia looks over the computer, that is still updating with notes from the caller.

I start the truck up and we exit the station driving down the still busy city roads. Alicia lets me know that were going to The Regal Point Apartments for a 13-year-old male complaining of not feeling well. His mom called, concerned that her son's condition was deteriorating.

Pulling up to the apartment complex, Alicia grabs the medical bag while I grab the LifePak monitor. Luckily, this apartment complex has an elevator, so we don't have to trudge our way up four flights of stairs. Once at the correct apartment, the patient's mother, who introduces herself as Sheila. Alicia and I introduce ourselves with Sheila pointing us towards her son's bedroom. While walking towards his bedroom she begins to talk to us about his medical history.

"His name is Charlie, he's 13-years-old. He has an Auto-Immune disorder that forces him to stay inside all the time. The only times he gets to leave the house are to go to one of his many doctors' appointments."

Entering Charlie's room, Alicia once again introduces us and asks if she can check his vital signs. He agrees with Alicia beginning to check his blood pressure. Even in the small glow from his bedside lamp, I can see that Charlie looks sick. He appears pale with dark bags sitting underneath his eyes. Overall, he looks exhausted.

After checking all of his vital signs and talking to Sheila and Charlie more, I had a weird feeling start to form in my stomach. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something just did not feel right. The way that his mom seemed evasive with his full diagnosis and couldn't remember his medications, something just seemed...wrong. When Alicia asked the mom about us taking him to the hospital, she quickly stated that she does not believe that he needs to go to the hospital due to him having a weak immune system.

"Ma'am we understand your concerns, but we always recommend people go to the hospital to get checked out. Especially when they are as sick as Charlie is." I try once again.

Alicia was packing up the bag as Sheila repeats that she does not want Charlie to go. "I'll call his primary care doctor in the morning and see if they will see him." She states with a kind smile on her face.

The odd feeling again returns before we exit the house. Getting back in the truck, I keep the uneasy feeling to myself as Alicia writes the refusal report. I wait for her to finish typing before asking her.

"Did that seem odd to you?"

"What do you mean?" she asks, still looking over the report.

"Just the story of his diagnosis and things like that. She just seemed to have a lot of empty answers." I reply back.

"I didn't really get a weird feeling, but I also was talking more to Charlie than I was to the mom." She answers again.

"Something just seems off to me. Maybe I am just thinking too far into it." I state. I mean, it is late, the mom is probably tired after spending the day taking care of her son. That's what we will have to go with for now as Dispatch alerts us to another call we're needed on. 

————

"How come you don't make this kind of breakfast for me when we're at home?" Eddie states as he comes bouncing into the kitchen. He's in full uniform which makes it hard for me to not turn around and admire him. I had always loved a man in uniform but there was just something about him in one that made it twenty times better.

"I only cook when I am here because if I start cooking at home, that means you'll expect it, and we can't have that." I reply to him.

He laughs before sneaking a quick kiss on my lips before lifting up my left hand and kissing my ring finger. Even though my engagement ring wasn't there, the little rubber one that replaced it on shift was still just as meaningful. Butterflies erupt in my heart at the small interaction.

Eddie coming to the 118 was the absolute best thing to ever happen to me. Before he arrived, I was a shy little Paramedic who just came to work to run calls and go home. My best friend Buck had been whining forever that I never went out and never spent any time living my life. Whatever that meant. Eddie being here brought out a whole new side of me that Buck says he had always been waiting to see. It was not just Eddie though; Christopher had been another missing piece in my life that I never knew I needed. It had been so easy to turn into a motherly figure for him. When he proposed, Eddie had made sure to include Christopher in it. Mostly because Christopher wouldn't allow him to not include him.

The station bell went off sharply, alerting everyone to a call. "I guess breakfast will just have to wait until later." I yell out downstairs to the crew as I shut off the stove and run downstairs. Hen and Chimney jump into the ambulance while I make my way to the Critical Care SUV. Right after getting engaged to Eddie, I had been promoted to a Critical Care Responder, aka Lieutenant. Which was a fancy way of saying that I had more responsibilities while riding by myself. I hop into the truck and make my way to the call behind the Fire truck and the Ambulance.

Arriving at the call, I let Captain Nash and his crew manage the situation. The best part about my new role, I had Chim and Hen underneath me, which meant they were more than capable of handling anything. I was more along the lines of helping hands when needed with these two. After realizing that I was not needed for this call and hearing another more critical call come out, I let everyone know I was leaving before hurrying on to the next call.

————

"Where did you disappear off to earlier?" I hear Eddie say from behind me.

I had just returned to the station after being gone for most of the day. I turn in my seat so I can fully see him. He's leaning against the door frame of my office with a small smile sitting on his face. As nice as it was to work together, it seemed almost impossible most of the time to actually see him. I smile up at him as he walks over and sits on the corner of my desk.

"I couldn't seem to find my way back here today. Everyone needed something at some point." I state as I lean forward to make some sort of physical contact with him, granted it was just my elbow touching his knee, but hey, it was something.

"I'm tired of everyone needing my girl today. I know you're great and all but damn." I laugh and shake my head at his compliment. He knew that calling me "his girl" was a sure-fire way to my heart. 

"Listen, if you need me while you're out there, all you have to do is call me. That's what everyone else likes to do!" I remind him with a smile on my face.

He smiles back at me, and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. We're stuck like that for a moment, just smiling at each other alone in my office.

Eddie glances between me and the still open office door before pulling me to stand in front of him. Before I can ask him what he's doing, his lips are on mine like he hasn't kissed me in months. I quickly return the kiss and allow myself to enjoy the mental break. Before it can get too heavy, Eddie pulls away but just far enough away that our foreheads are still touching. We are both smiling like cheshire cats, and I don't think anything could be better than this. I pull back further and smile up at him.

"Not that I didn't enjoy that, what was that for?" I ask, still smiling. He just stares down at me before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I just missed my girl. That's all." Before I can respond to him, the station bell goes off once more alerting Eddie to another call. His head falls backwards with a groan escaping his mouth. I snort at his dramatics and place a kiss on his lips before pulling him out of the office. "Where are you going? You didn't get added to this." He asks as we walk towards the bay.

"I might as well grab a drink before I dive back into my paperwork." I tell him.

As we enter the bay and begin to separate, I feel a light smack on butt. The surprise of it caught me off guard causing me to lightly jump and yell out. I can hear Eddie laughing as he runs off towards the truck to leave. "I love you!" He yells out before hopping in the back. Eddie Diaz was going to be the death of me.

[ash-whimsicalfanfic]

Hope things are going well for you!

Could you do a Gibbs x y/n where there son falls at home and gets a broken arm and y/n feels horrible/guilty that she let it happen under her watch. He meets them at the ER where the son refuses to let him go and y/n won't meet his eye. On the way home he holds her hand and convinces there son that his cast is cool and he can ask others to sign it. When they get home he goes to play. Gibbs finds y/n crying asks him "why am I such a bad parent"

Bad Mom?

Leroy Jethro Gibbs X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 2461

Warnings: Mild language, blood, injury, gore, angst…

A/N: Hopefully, this is okay! I really enjoyed writing this! Sorry it took so long for me to get this done! Xx

You hum softly as you continue working on the salad to go with dinner. Jethro would be home a little later, but you always make sure he comes home to a nice, relaxing dinner.

Your guys’ son, Maddox Leroy Gibbs, was upstairs playing with his newest birthday gift. Jethro had got him a wood-carving kit and now Maddox couldn't keep his hands off it.

All of a sudden, you heard thumps before the most pained scream you've ever heard. You dropped the glass bowl of salad, ignoring the glass shattering on the ground as you race towards the crying.

There was Maddox laid on the ground, cradling his arm. You fall to your knees beside him and gently grab him.

"Baby, hey, I need you to tell me what happened. What hurts?" You ask softly.

"M-My arm!" He wails.

You gently pull his hand away as your stomach flips and your throat tightens seeing blood and bone. He screams, wailing louder.

"Look away." You demand as you stand, picking him up as you grab the keys and your phone on the way out.

You barely were able to lock the door as you run out towards your car. You get him in the booster seat, grabbing the first aid kit and quickly taping gals over it loosely so he wouldn't be able to see it.

You hurry to the drivers side, starting to drive the way that Jethro drives. You open your phone with shaky hands and dial his number. It rings and rings until it says his mailbox was full. You throw the phone down in the seat next to you as your shaky hands grip the wheel tighter as you break every driving law to make it to the hospital.

You were out of your car, running to his side of the car as you swung the door open, picking him up and running inside. Immediately nurses flank you, having you place him on a gurney before your told to move your car.

You felt irritated, but you also understood. You quickly move you car before finding your way inside. You weren't allowed to go in the room with him as they had an officer on the way to question you. You knew they thought this was some abuse case, but it wasn't. You grab your phone dialing his number again and you kept dialing until he finally answered.

"Hon, I'm in the middle of a case right now." He says irritated.

"J-Jethro, h-he fell down the stairs and he hurt his arm really bad. T-They won't let me see him! They have an officer coming to question me because they think this an a-abuse case!" You sob into the phone, ignoring the nurses who gave you the stink-eye.

"Hon, I'm on my way. Do not answer any questions. Tell them your waiting on me." He says sternly.

Before you could say anything, he had hung up. You let your head fall into your hands as you cry harder.

"I want my mom!" He wails and you stand as you rush towards him.

"Ma'am, you can't see him until you've been questioned and cleared." A nurse snaps, pushing at you.

"He's my son! I'd never hurt him! Let me see him!" You snap, trying to push through towards your son.

"Mommy!" He wails.

"It's okay, baby! Daddy's on his way!" You say as tears fall down your cheeks and big burly security guards push you back towards the little sitting area in the hallway.

They cuff your hands behind your back and make you sit as you refused to leave. You looked at the ground, your head racing as terrible thoughts went through your head.

Jethro parks his car hastily, getting out of the car as his team followed him in. He tried to get them to stay and work on the case, but they refused. Maddox was their nephew and they'd do anything for the kid.

Jethro walks in, his eyes finding you. For a brief moment, he felt relief until he saw the cuffs on your wrists.

"Take the cuffs off her, now." He barks, striding towards you.

"Sir—now!" He interrupts.

The security guard fumbles with the keys as he roughly pulls you up before Jethro pinned him against the wall. Tony grabs the keys off the floor, undoing the cuffs on your wrists.

"Don't you ever put your hands on my wife like that again." He warns.

"Hey sweet cheeks, your okay." Tony murmurs as he hugs you.

"They won't let me see him." You mumble numbly into his chest.

"They will once Gibbs is through with them." He teases and you couldn't help the small shaky smile.

"Hon, come on." Jethro says.

You walk towards him, keeping your eyes casted to the floor. His arm wraps around your waist protectively as he walks towards the desk.

"Where is my son?" He demands.

"S-She needs to be questioned." The nurse says weakly.

"My wife wouldn't ever lay a hand on our son. He fell down the stairs, kids have accidents all the time. Let me see our damn son." He snaps.

"O-Of course, right this way sir." She says and starts to lead us towards the room he was in.

You hesitate and hang back towards the doorway as Jethro heads towards Maddox who was sat up in the bed with a light blue cast on his arm.

“Daddy!” He exclaims, throwing himself towards Jethro who chuckles and catches him.

You catch sight of stitches across his eyebrows and you let a shaky breath out.

“Careful buddy, you can take someone out with that thing.” Jethro teases which makes Maddox giggle.

“I don’t really like it. It’s going to stop me from being able to do my wood carvings.” He pouts.

“I think it’s a really cool cast. You can have people sign it even! And you can take a break from the wood carving, son. I’ll get you some more while you got the cast on so we can let the supplies build up.” He says.

“Okay! Uncle Tony, will you sign my cast?” He asks.

“Of course! I even so happen to have a sharpie on me!” He exclaims with a childish grin.

Your heart aches and you sit down as you watch Maddox with soft and sad eyes. Jethro was in the corner of the room, on the phone with director as he kept an eye on Maddox as well.

You look away from Maddox and at the floor when a nurse walks in. She looks at you as if you had the plague, in which Maddox notices and frowns.

“Why are you looking at my mommy that way?” He snaps.

The nurse was taken aback as you look up alarmed. You stand, walking over to the bed and reach a shaky hand out to brush his hair away from his eyes. You leave a kiss on his head.

“It’s okay, baby.” You murmur.

He looks at you confused. He was a smart child for his age. He definitely had his fathers profiling skills, that’s for sure. He looks back at the nurse, his eye narrowing as he latches onto you, hugging you tightly. Jethro was grinning in the corner as your lips part in surprise.

“Ma’am, we still have to follow protocol.” The nurse says in which your heart shatters.

“Protocol? Mommy, what’s she talking about?” He asks, looking up at you with Jethro’s blue eyes.

“It’s nothing, baby. Mommy will be back, I promise.” You murmur.

“No. I’ll be back, buddy. Mommy will stay with you.” Jethro says.

You watch confused as he leaves with the timid nurse. Tony throws an arm over your shoulder and smiles.

“Trust me, boss will handle it. Your a good mom, don’t let them tell you otherwise.” He says.

“Are they saying your a bad mommy?” Maddox asks confused.

“I-I, no…they just have to follow protocols they put in place to keep people safe.” You explain slowly.

Thankfully, Jethro was back quickly and even somehow managed to get his prescriptions whilst filling out the discharge papers. Jethro sent the team back in the work car and was going to drive you and Maddox home. Tony offered to drive Jethro’s car home, but you settled on taking Jethro to work tomorrow as you felt guilty for calling him from work early.

Maddox was asleep in the backseat, and you were focused on the building and other structures out your window. Jethro kept glancing over, sensing you weren’t okay. He grabs your hands and squeezes it gently.

“Sorry I snapped at you on the phone earlier today, hon. I don’t want you to think you can’t call me. For now on, I’ll answer immediately if I’m not out in the field.” He promises.

“Jethro, I’m not upset you didn’t answer or that you snapped at me. I know your working on a case right now.” You say softly.

“Then what has you upset?” He asks as he pulls into the driveway.

“Nothing.” You lie, getting out of the car.

“I’ll get him. You get the door opened.” He says.

You nod, heading towards the door and unlocking it. You are greeted with blood on the ground and you immediately grab your cleaning caddy from the closet and start cleaning it up. Jethro walks in, holding Maddox. He frowns seeing your shaky hands scrub at the puddle of blood.

“Hon, I got that. Let me go put him in bed and then I’ll clean that up.” He says.

“No, it’s okay. I got it. Here, you go on up and I’ll finish this up.” You say quietly.

You move just enough so he can get up the stairs. He gets to the third or fourth step before looking back down at you concerned. His eyes find your bruised wrists and his frown deepens. He turns, focusing on getting Maddox up to bed.

“Daddy.” Maddox mumbles sleepily.

“Yes, buddy?” He asks softly, tucking him in.

“Why did the doctors think mommy is a bad mommy?” He asks.

“Because they are a bunch of knuckleheads and don’t know what a good mommy you have. Don’t worry about it, buddy.” He says.

“Daddy?” He whispers as he starts to fall back to sleep.

“Yes?” He asks.

“Can mommy give me a little brother or sister?” He asks.

“I…I mean, I’ll talk to mommy and see what she wants to do, but she loves you so much. I think she’s happy with just you.” He murmurs.

Little did Maddox know, Jethro was scared to have another one. He was scared to have Maddox after what happened with Shannon and Kelly. He barely let you in and then finding out you were pregnant nearly sent him over the edge. You loved kids and you want a whole damn school bus of kids.

Maddox goes to say something, but it was little mumbles before he was softly snoring. Jethro chuckles, brushing his hair out of his forehead before leaning down and kissing his head.

He heads downstairs to see the blood cleaned up. He goes to the kitchen where he heard you. You were sweeping up the salad and broken bowl into a pan.

“What happened?” He asks, taking the dust pan to hold it.

“When I heard Maddox scream, I just dropped the bowl and ran for him.” You mumble quietly.

“Hon, go take a bath and relax. I’ll finish the clean up. I promise you that Maddox is okay.” He says.

You hesitate, but with a stern look from him, you nod slowly. You head up the stairs, starting your bath. He finishes up the floor before he cleans up what would have been dinner. He does dishes and takes the trash out before deciding to check on both Maddox and you. He checks on Maddox first to see him sleeping.

He nears the bathroom before slowing his steps as he hears your muffled crying. He walks in and sees your face buried in your knees, suds covering your bits from view.

“Hon, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He asks, kneeling by the tub.

“Why am I such a bad mom?” You sob.

“Y/N, what are you talking about?” He asks.

“He’s hurt because of me, Jethro. Those nurses had every right to look at me like that. I’m a terrible mom. There was blood, everywhere and the bone was sticking out. His screams…gosh his screams were so loud. I didn’t even notice he cut his eyebrow until I saw the stitches.” You sob.

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. He’s a kid and kids have accidents. Maddox loves to run throughout the house and we could tell him until we were blue in the face not to run in the house. He slipped and fell. It wasn’t your fault. You know how many times I got hurt as a kid? A lot. We can’t protect him from everything as much as we wish we could. Things like this will teach him why we tell him not to run in the house or why not to go outside barefoot. We can only do so much. Your an amazing mom. He knows so.” He murmurs, rubbing your back.

“I can’t even look at him. I feel terrible. It’s all my fault.” You whisper.

“It’s not your fault and you know that. He knows that and I know that. He knows your a good mom. He told me when he woke up briefly because he caught onto the way the nurses were treating you. He actually wants another siblings. He told me.” He says, sighing as he plops on the ground.

Your head flies up, your eyes wide as you look at him. You reach a hand out and grab his hand, rubbing it gently.

“You know we don’t have to. I know how scary it was when you found out I was pregnant with Maddox. I am perfectly content with Maddox and you.” You say softly.

“I think I might want another one. Maybe we’ll get a little girl this time.” He murmurs.

“Really?” You ask surprised.

“Yeah.” He says with a soft smile.

“Your such an amazing dad, Jethro. Maddox absolutely loves you. He always tells me that he wants to be an NCIS agent just like you.” You say with a soft smile.

“And your such an amazing mom. He tells me all the time. He also tells me how much he loves you and how much he wants to make you proud. Whether it be cleaning up his toys or helping with the groceries. He loves you and he idolizes you so much.” He murmurs.

[idontplaytrack]

How much do you want to bet?

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader(+ big sister Regina)

Warnings: angst, fluff, sick fic, coarse language, slight descriptions + mentions of vomiting & sickness, angry Regina

Regina calls Janis for help late at night due to an inconsolable reader who was sick and miserable

Other parts: One / two / three

(Photos used are from Pinterest & Auli’i’s TikTok[deleted])

Regina was alone. Again and with you. Except this time, you were sick. You’ve caught a stomach bug and were feeling absolutely awful. It was a little after nine-thirty at night. Regina’s tried every remedy she knew to help you eat something or get some fluids into your system but they never stayed long enough before you regurgitated them. Helpless, she gave up on her ways and let you just sit there in your bed. You were terrified of laying down because of the possibility that you would throw up again and end up making a mess if you didn’t get to the bathroom in time. Or the trash can on your floor for that matter.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Regina carefully rests her palm on your stomach underneath the thin fabric of your shirt, hoping the warmth provides you with some relief. You just look at her, unable to speak for fear of bursting into tears for the second time that night. Regina sighs softly, heart breaking at this pitiful sight.

“It’s going around in school.” You croaked after a few minutes.

“I know, that sucks.” Regina says, “Do you want me to go get you a heat pack, so we can put it on your stomach? It’ll probably work better than my hand.”

You shook your head no, shifting uncomfortably, “Where’s Mom?”

June was…off in Florida, to avoid her life right here in Chigaco. And at the worst time possible.

You chewed your lower lip, it was quivering, “I want Mommy, Reg.”

“She’s not answering her calls, baby. I’m sorry, but I’ll keep trying, okay?”

To Regina’s surprise, you managed to nod off while she stepped outside to make a particular phone call. First, she tried to dial June’s number again just like she’d promised you she would. But this time, her phone wasn’t even on. She definitely did this on purpose, turning her phone off. Regina hesitated, but was at her wit’s ends: she phoned Janis.

“Janis, are you free right now?”

“Yes…” Janis answered warily, “Why?”

“y/n’s sick and in pain and crying for Mom but she’s MIA somewhere in Florida — her phone’s off so I was wondering if you could—”

“What?” Janis shrieked, “My God, I’m on my way.”

“Drive s—” Before Regina could respond properly, Janis hung up the call and was rushing here.

Regina stood in the doorway of your room, leaning against the wooden frame and watching you sleep. She stayed there the whole time until Janis pulled up twenty minutes later. Regina lets her in. “Could you keep an eye on her for a minute? I’m gonna go use the restroom.”

“Of course.” Janis agrees, taking two steps at a time up the flights of stairs while Regina went ahead to the bathroom.

“Still can’t contact your mom?” Janis asks quietly when she saw Regina coming upstairs.

“Nope.” Regina sighs. “I’ve never seen her this upset, I hate seeing her like that.”

“How long has she been asleep?”

“Oh, thirty minutes I think. Probably the most she’s slept at a time all day.” Regina answers, arms crossed.

“Still no water intake?”

“Not since right before this whole thing started.” Regina confirms, “That cold glass of water went in and came back out warm.” Regina shuddered. “Should we take her to the hospital? Get an IV or something?”

Janis chuckles dryly, “I…think we let her try something in a solid form. Popsicle or ice cubes. She would definitely start crying again if we bring up the hospital. Usually, it’s just a 24 hour bug so let’s pay attention and hope for the best.”

“Good luck— she didn’t want any of it.” Regina sighs exasperatedly. “Work your magic, maybe she’ll listen to you instead of me.”

“Go to bed.”

“And leave you alone for the next six to seven hours? ‘Imi’ike, I’m not heartless.”

“Well…” Janis joked.

“Fair.” Regina smirked. “You wanna eat anything, help yourself. I have a very angry text to send to my mother.”

“I’m good, thanks though.” Janis replies, sitting down casually by your door and went on her phone.

“Are you feeling like you’d be getting sick soon?”

“No, I really don’t think so. I’ve been very careful about washing my hands and not touching my face when I saw those people at school getting sick. I also have a way stronger immune system, luckily. How are you feeling?”

Regina’s eyebrows were raised in shock, but she masked that pretty well as her usual smirk after. “I feel fine, I usually don’t get sick either. But if the heavens want to torment me, they can feel free to do so after y/n recovers.”

“Knock on wood, Regina. Be careful what you wish for.” Janis warned. “Is Cady okay?”

“Yeah, the rest of the gang seems alright too. She’s the first one in our circle to get it.”

————

“Reg?” You said quietly. “Regina, I need—”

You quickly heard footsteps approaching your room but not of someone you expected. “Hey, you’re awake.” Janis smiled at you, “What do you need?”

You kicked off the blanket, slowly getting your legs off the bed. “Uh— why are you— why are you here?”

“Regina called me.”

“For what? I—”

“Don’t fight it.” Janis looked at you, “Let us take care of you.”

“I don’t want to get you sick too.”

“I don’t get sick, I’ll be fine.” Janis spoke in a tone that immediately shut you up. That and the fact that you were feeling like utter crap. “What do you need?”

“The bathroom.” You stood up unsteadily. Janis put her arm around you to give you the support you needed to make your way there. “Now, how are you feeling?”

“Stomach hurts. I’m not that nauseous anymore. Very thirsty but I’m scared I can’t keep it down.” You answered, slightly irritated. She feels your forehead, “Did she give you fever meds?”

“Not after I couldn’t even keep water down.” You spoke. Then before she could even say a word, “Scratch that, gotta puke.” You made u-turn for the bathroom again and barely made it to the toilet to spill the contents of your stomach.

Janis seethed, “I’m sorry, honey.” She rubs your back and made sure your hair didn’t get in the way.

Meanwhile downstairs, Regina was going batshit crazy. “Fuck!” You groaned, finally feeling okay enough to back away and sit down. “Can you go check on—”

“I’m not gonna leave you here alone.” Janis crouched down and then sat next to you.

“God I’m so tired.” You mumbled, on the verge of tears.

“I might have something for you that could help.” Janis held your face, “It’s in my car, I’ll go get it.”

She scurries away to go get whatever it was. You dragged yourself back to your bed, staring at the bottle of water on your nightstand, tempted.

As you attempted a sip of it, Janis returns with a little snack container. “My Dad buys this sometimes when he goes back home, he says it helps with a bunch of stuff including nausea, so, here— take this and just leave it in your mouth and let it sit.”

You took the li hing mui from her and just popped it into your mouth. You recognised it, she always had this with her and she was always snacking on it. “I’ll keep the rest of it right here, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Did you try some water?”

“Like, a sip.” You told her, voice muffled due to what you had in your mouth. Regina shows up in your room next, “You couldn’t get her on the phone?”

“No.” Regina shook her head, sad. Like, actually sad. “How’re you feeling?”

“I threw up again, but what she gave me helps.” You shrug, leaning back against the headboard. “What time is it?”

“A little after midnight.” Regina answers. Janis settles down next to you. “Go to sleep, Reg. Forget I even asked about mom, there’s no point anymore— she doesn’t care about me.”

Regina’s face fell, she hated that she couldn’t get Mom on the phone for you. She hated that she couldn’t deliver her promise.

“Can you try drinking a little more water, baby? Please? Keep that in your mouth and just drink, be careful though.” Regina hands you a new bottle of water.

You complied, wanting nothing more than quenching the thirst now. But still, you took only cautious sips to make sure you didn’t make things worse for yourself. After finishing about half the bottle you set it down and made sure the plum in your mouth was entirely dissolved before you allowed yourself to sleep. Even then, you could feel Janis and your sister watching you like hawks. You couldn’t take the feeling of having eyes on you so you shot back up and told them, “Don’t keep looking at me.” It came out in a whine though— you couldn’t exactly control that.

“Okay, I’ll be in my room, alright? Do you have everything you need?” Regina asks, ‘Minus Mom.’ She thought to herself.

“Yeah. Good night.” You replied dismissively, however while Regina leaves the room like you’d asked, Janis did not budge.

“Nice try, I’m not leaving ya.” Janis smirked, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Then, of her own accord, she dipped a rag in a bucket of water and put that on your forehead after wringing it dry. You were not happy about it.

“Get away from me, I don’t want you getting sick.”

Janis sighs quietly but doesn’t say anything about that statement of yours. “Close your eyes.”

You did so, cuddling with that carnival prize she won for you.

“Attagirl.” She smiled, relieved that you seemed significantly better at the moment. “G’night. Wake me up if you need anything, okay?”

“M’kay.” You mumbled then drifted off to sleep.

————

You woke up one time that night thanks to a sudden pang of insane nausea that had you clinging to the toilet but nothing came out of you since your stomach was practically empty.

“Don’t cry, honey.” Janis rubs your back attempting to soothe you.

“I feel like shit.” You sniffled, “Why am I so nauseous if I have nothing left in me?!”

“You wanna get back into bed?”

“Yes.” You looked up at her, absolutely tired of this night.

“Okay, c’mon.” Janis helped you up and back to bed. “I got you, honey. You’re okay.”

She sits with you till you fell asleep.

In the morning, you were alone in your room. But you did feel more…like yourself. You washed up and headed downstairs to locate your sister and Janis. “Hey.” Regina spotted you almost immediately. “You seem like you’re feeling better.”

“My stomach’s not hurting anymore, but I’m still having a fever.” You shrug.

“Take an Advil.” Regina hands you the bottle, “I’m making you some soup.”

“Where’s Jan—”

“Shower.”

“Okay.” You sat at the kitchen island and slowly dipped on your glass of water for awhile before you swallows the pill.

“You wanna take a shower?” Regina asks, “She could help you with that.”

“Oh, no, no. I’ll do that on my own.” You gasped, horrified by the idea of Janis seeing you that way.

Regina laughs, “Okay, but only if you’re sure you’re not gonna pass out or something.”

“I’ll be okay.” You exhaled harshly. “Hey, Reg?”

“Yeah?”

“How— how out of it was I?” You asked.

“Eh…not too bad.” Regina says. “Cried a little bit but I get that. You were always like that when you’re not feeling well.”

“Good god.” You groaned, “I’m sorry.”

Regina squinted, “Don’t apologise for that. You were going through a lot lotta crap last night. How’s the pill doing?”

“It’s…fine. Staying in my system this time.”

She chuckles, “Good.”

“Are you good? Do you feel sick?” You ask.

“Nope. We’ve been very careful: disinfecting everything regularly. After tonight, I’m deep cleaning your room: changing your sheets, wiping down everything, cleaning your bathroom. The works.”

“Okay—”

“Hey!” You heard Janis’ voice, “You’re up.”

“Hi.” You turned your head to look at her.

“Here, eat up.” Regina pushes a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of you.

“Thanks, Reg.”

Well, everything was as good as it could get now. You were glad you were finally out of the worst part of it.

“I think you’ll be good to go back to school Monday.” Regina says.

“Yeah.” You agreed, “I think so too—”

The doorbell rings. “Open up, it’s Mom!”

“Oh, boy.” Janis grumbled.

You nearly choked on your soup and just abandoned your spoon as it clanked against the bowl. You glared at Regina, mouthing, “Why?”

“Because apparently she doesn’t have keys anymore.” Regina scoffs, flouncing toward the door. “What?”

“Well I thought I should come back and take care of—”

“Don’t even. You should’ve picked up as soon as I called you. You’ve got no excuse not to answer.” Regina lets go of the door, walking back into the foyer. June pushed her way into the house.

“Well I’m sorry but things have been really rough.”

“Rough? Rough was me having to work to make sure we don’t just have barely enough to pay to keep the lights on, to eat.”

“I send you the money for bills.”

“What—” Regina scoffs. “Rough was last night when I saw her so pale and throwing up and sobbing for you. She was crying for you to be there for her. To hold her and tell her things are going to be okay. Money isn’t everything, Mom. So the divorce was hard, do you think it only affected you? I may be your oldest daughter and capable to earn some money to make sure we don’t use up all of what you gave for bills. Surprise — she needs you and so do I. Now, more than we ever did. It was supposed to be the three of us against our problems. Not me and her against you and our problems.”

“Why is Janis here?”

“Why is that your first question?” You spoke up, “Why didn’t you pick up?”

“I’m sorry—”

“How much are you willing to bet that if I called your phone right now, it’s going to ring?” Regina glared at June then was dialling said phone number. “I knew it. You avoided us on purpose. Forget it, Mom. Go, go travel all over the country trying to avoid everything instead of caring for your kids who need you. Next time you’re back here, you won’t see us anymore. I found me and y/n a place away from here, we’ll move out soon. This place? There’s no use holding onto it. So, go have fun. Let the kids worry about life.”

“Well I’m here now.”

“After a whole year? You don’t look very willing to me. Be honest— you want to turn and leave. Look at yourself in the mirror. He’s not worth your time and energy, Mom.”

“Don’t come crawling back when your actions have already made it clear as day that you do not care anymore. You’re the grown up, why are we always left alone, always ignored by you?” You walked closer. “Why couldn’t we have gotten through this together? I don’t know how to trust you anymore, Mommy.”

“Baby, let’s take some deep breaths and calm down, okay?” Janis puts her hands on your shoulders, “I don’t want you to get too agitated right now.”

“Baby?” June’s eyes went so wide they might as well have popped out of her head right then and there, “Last I heard you two hated each other’s guts. Now what, suddenly she’s kissing your sister?”

“She stepped up when you couldn’t last night. No questions asked: held her hair back, rubbed her back, rubbed her stomach, held her close, fed her water, took care of her. Zero hesitation. We tried your phone for hours and you didn’t even bother responding with a text.” Regina growled. “That tells me everything I need to know. She’s a good person, and you, you have some work to do. And you better do it fast, pull your shit together, see a therapist, whatever. Life is tough, but if you’re going to wallow in self-pity, you’re not going to get anywhere.”

Janis led you upstairs, not wanting you to stay in that environment any longer. “I wanna take a shower, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, of course it is.” Janis chuckles lightly, “Do you want me to help you?”

“I think I’ll be fine. I just wanted to make sure someone knew I was in the shower in case, you know?”

“Mm, yeah.” Janis nods, brushing the slightly sweaty hair out of your face so she could see it better, “You go ahead, I’ll get you your clothes and your towel, hm?”

“Kay.” You agreed, finding the energy to smile back after hours and hours. But hearing the yelling still ongoing downstairs, you flinched when a voice got particularly loud.

“You’re okay. I’m right here, baby. Just focus on your shower, nothing else. I’ll be right here with you. Okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded, taking in a deep breath, “Thanks, Janis.”

“No problem, honey.” She squished your cheek gently, making you laugh. Then you got up and went into the bathrooms while she remained in your room.

Luckily, when you got out, the yelling had stopped. So you could relax again.

“You good?” Janis studied you. “Better, yeah.” You confirmed, quickly going to sit down on your bed.

“That’s good.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Yes.” Janis assured, “I swear. If I’m ever sick, you will know because I will look as pale as a ghost.”

You giggled, “Alright. Thanks for coming over even though it was so late last night.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Janis grins, “One call or text, I’m here immediately.”

“Wait— you changed my sheets?” You realised.

“And we disinfected everything.” Regina appeared.

“Oh.” You jumped, startled.

Regina stifles a laugh, “Sorry. Anyway, Mom won’t be back until we’ve moved out. So you don’t have to worry about her coming over and me yelling at her.”

“You really found a place for us?” You asked.

“Sure did.” She confirmed, “It’s a lot smaller than here of course, but plenty of room for the two of us. With my savings and the fact that I’m working, we’re gonna do perfectly fine. Oh, and Cady’s gonna move in with us too. So Janis, you’re definitely allowed to come and go as you please, but if you want to move in too, the four of us, well technically three of us can share all the expenses. It’ll probably be an easier load this way.”

“How many bedrooms is that?” Janis asks.

“Two bedrooms. One bathroom’s connected to a room the other’s in the hall. You two could definitely share a room then I’ll do the same with Cady. I saw the place and it’s pretty spacious.”

“Tempting. But I probably won’t, I’ll definitely be there a lot though, obviously.” She says, gesturing to you.

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” Regina smirked. “Anyway…I’m glad you’re feeling better. Are you hungry yet?”

“Actually, yeah. I am.”

“That’s a great sign.” Regina’s face lit up, “I’ll go prepare some rice and soup. Start light, okay? We’ll move on to other stuff tomorrow depending on how you feel after this meal.”

You sulked.

“Come on, just…take it easy on your stomach right now, baby.” Regina couldn’t help but crack a smile, “I’m willing to bet it’s still sore.”

“Yeah…” You answered, head slowly leaning on Janis’ shoulder.

“I’ll be downstairs, you two just do whatever you want. Yell for me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.” You sigh falls from your lips, “Thanks, Reg.”

“You’re so welcome, baby.”

Janis chuckles to herself, her arm winded around your waist gingerly, “Still sleepy, babe?”

“No.” You muttered.

“Are you sure?” She teased, “Lunch is gonna take her thirty minute at least.”

Your lips tug into a crooked smile as you snuggled closer to her. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Sure, y/n.” She says while rubbing your back, “Are you gonna let me get up to go grab the remote or do I have to carry you with me?”

You laughed, hiding your face in her chest for a second, “I’ll move.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N:

This one got way longer than I expected it to, but I wanted to show Regina and Janis getting along, and of course, June(finally)

I’ll be ending this mini serie in the next part of two. :’)

[gadriezmannsgirl]

GENDER REVEAL 6 WHERE THE READER GIVES BIRTH

You don't even want to know what the gender is???😂 We can already guess tho... Anyways, here you go!!

Also known as Gender Reveal (6)!

Once More -P.G

Summary: You're ready to go through all of it, once more

You were messing around with Helena and her dolls at home, your husband was at a medical appointment in the club, regular check-ups they had to do, your 34 weeks old tummy was bigger than ever

"¿Quieres algo de comer, Lena?" You ask your babygirl pushing her hair back as she nods "What do you want?"

"What do you fancy, ma?" She asked looking at you.

Ever since Pablo had once asked you that in front of her, she grew curious as to why he was eating the same thing as you, when Pablo told her that her sibling was asking for a certain food through you and that for you not to feel alone, he was also eating it, she too started to do that.

"I'm craving a bit of Ice cream" You said smiling at her. That was the most calm craving you have had during the pregnancy, because oh boy! Your normal cravings consisted in mixing a sugary thing with vinegar, eating soap and a few mores that definitely had you, Pablo and even Helena confused

"Just ice cream?" You nod at her "Without anything else?" You laugh

"Without anything else" You affirmed

"Then good!" She smiled nodding as you went to stand up.

You probably knew that you shouldn't be on the floor without Pablo around to help you out but you couldn't help it wanting to play with your little girl.

It definitely wasn't impossible but definitely wasn't easy.

"Momma"

"Don't tell your dad this happened, yeah?" You asked her as she nodded.

Pablo had definitely taught her on what you were and what you were not able to do but seeing as you were her mom, she couldn't exactly tell you off, she definitely respected you and Pablo the most, so the thing she always does is lightly saying: "Dad told me you shouldn't be doing that" or "Momma, be careful"

"You shouldn't have sat on the floor, you can't stand up as before, ma"

"I know what I'm doing Lena, thank you for worrying tho, I wanted to play with my little girl for a while, yeah? I can handle this, mi amor" You disappeared to the kitchen grabbing two vases and two spoons, filling them up and going back to the living room where you felt, what you could describe as a kick on your back that inmovilized you for a few seconds

"¿Mami?"

"¡Voy, mi linda, voy!" You said after catching your breath "Lena, ¿Quieres ver una movie?" You ask her

"¡Rapunzel!" You nod smiling, you sat her on the couch, gave her the ice cream and pressed play on the movie after settling it.

During it, you felt several sharp kicks, you definitely remember having those with Helena, so you were going to wait for Pablo to go to the hospital, you tried to not show any kind of pain with Helena in front of you for her not to worry but you were sighing more than you have ever done before in your whole life.

Not even when you were mad at Pablo during your boyfriend-girlfriend time.

"Are you okay, mommy?" You nod smiling

"I am, Lena. Just a bit tired, amor. My back's hurting a bit but is normal now" She smiles at you when you realize the movie was done "What about Frozen?" She nods excited

"Yes, so I can dance and sing to Elsa's song" You smile nodding. You stood up to grab your phone and the remote when you felt it.

You hunched over the table, processing the pain that was consuming you

"Mami, you peeded yourself!"

"It's not pee, mi amor" You tried to calm her down "Lena..." You took a deep breath "remember what Dad taught you?"

"Tantas cosas que papi me enseña" You smiled at her in through your pain

"He told you that this may happen one day, right?" She nods "Okay, so your brother is coming like now and I need you to calmly grab Mom's phone, dial Daddy and tell him that we urgently need him at home because I'm giving birth and can't drive like this" You groan "I'll go upstairs and find the backpack-AH!" You hunched over, as the contractions were close to the other "And tell him to hurry up, please"

"Momma"

"Please, do what I said, Lena. I'm fine, mi vida. I'm fine, I swear I am" You were already on your way to the stairs.

You don't know how you did it but you managed to go upstairs to your room to grab your bag and to the baby's one to grab his and just like you came up, you went down.

"Mami, already called Daddy, he's on his way home"

"When was that?"

"Like five minutes ago" She said worried for you, so you tried to smile at her

"You'll be a big sis soon, Lena. How does it feel?"

"I don't like him putting you in pain, mami"

"That's something normal, mi amor. I went through the same thing with you and I'm fine, I'll be fine" You pulled her up on the stairs so you could kiss her cheek "I promise you"

"You look beautiful, mami" You smiled and laughed at that, always being just like her father

"Thank you, hija" The door busted open revealing a worried Pablo

"Is everything okay?" You nod

"You gotta step on that pedal and try to make it to the hospital as fast as posible, Pabs" You said making him grab onto Helena's hand and passed him one of the bags, the three of you moving "Put her in the car"

"I'm not letting you go and walk alone" He said as if was the most obvious thing in the world, you couldn't help but smile and pecked his lips "Let's go and bring our boy, amor"

...

"I swear the baby didn't came out before because I was wearing pants, then" You said making the presents laugh lightly, you had given birth to your second child, Mateo Martín Páez six hours ago.

Mateo, unlike Helena; was ready to take onto the world, when your water broke was because you were 8 centimeters of dilatation but you had been doing labor ever since Pablo had left this morning to training. You were amazed by that because you didn't felt it until it was almost time.

"Sometimes it happens" The doctor concluded smiling lightly at you "Good news is that you have a healthy little boy, on your arms, already" Doctor had said smiling at you both "Congratulations"

Helena was in the arms of her aunt Aurora, Belén and Pablo were smiling watching their son with his newborn, your parents and your brothers were also watching the scene chatting with you. The guys had already been here, but seeing as it was a bit late and they had a game tomorrow they left earlier, the room was still full of balloon's, cakes, cards, teddy bears and everything.

Just like they were with Helena, this time the decoration had mostly blue and green colours.

After a little while talking and after Helena shushing her uncles and auntie for making too much noise saying "You'll wake up baby", they all decided to leave and when Helena found out she was also leaving she wanted to throw a fuss

"Helena, amor. Only for tonight" You said "Dad will have to sleep here to help me with Mateo and we don't want you to spend the night in this cold and a bit uncomfortable place, that's why you are going with your grandma's" You smiled "But tomorrow morning, they'll come here, bring you and then we can go to our comfy and really loved house" She thought about it for a second

"Can I talk with baby?" She asked pursing her bottom lip out

"We'll be waiting for her outside" Belén said, as Pablo gave your mom, your house keys. Both grandma's were going to stay with Helena that day at yours

When all of them left, leaving you and Pablo alone with your kids, he passed Mateo to you and grabbed Helena pulling her into your lap, she hadn't been able to process her brother completely because there were other people around, then you had to breastfeed him and then Pablo was helping you out with him.

"Wanna hold him?" You asked as she looked at you excited, nervous and scared "It'll be fine" You smiled "Put your arms like mine" She did it "And..." You started leaving the baby in her arms, pulling yours underneath "There we go"

"He's like dad"

"Of course he is" You murmured looking at Pablo who winked at you

"He's beautiful"

"Of course he is" You nodded

"Talk to him, ladybug. Just like when he was inside mom's belly"

"What do I say?"

"Introduce yourself, maybe? Your are face to face with each other now, there's no tummy in the middle" You said

"I'm Helena, and I'm your big sister!" She exclaimed happily bouncing a little, your grip on her arms tightening "Just to let you know... I love you and I will take care of you, along with mommy and daddy which by the way are the bestest ones ever, we got really lucky God sent us to them" She says "Momma's absolutely gorgeous like a Queen and Dad's handsome, like a King but I'm even more pretty and that's why I'm the princess and you'll be even more handsome like a prince"

You look at Pablo who was crying a bit, he turned to look at you and leaned to kiss your hairline

"We will play, we'll eat, study, watch movies, play football with dad, read with mom and many more cool and cute stuffs" She said taking a break "I will protect you and you will protect me for ever and ever and I'm happy for you to be here with us, I know you'll be happy just like I am in our familly, and OH-!" She remembered something

"I know you're gonna love uncle Pepi! He's the coolest! And uncle Raphinha would probably teach us how to dance Samba, I don't get it either way but I try it, you will do as well. You will wear dad's shirt and go to the camp with us so you can see him play because let me tell you our parents are so cool!" You both laughed in between tears as Helena yawned "I'm sleepy right now, Mat. But I will come tomorrow and tell you more about the cool stuffs and how you'll feel in this fam with us, it's all good, I promise. I love you, don't give mamá and papá too many trouble, okay? I'll come for you tomorrow morning" She leaned and kissed his cheek making him coo lightly.

Pablo leaned and took Mateo from her which she quickly turned to hug you tightly

"Thanks mom" You sniffed and kissed her cheek

"I love you so much, Helena María" You said softly kissing her cheek over and over again

"I love you too, ma" You smiled when she kissed your cheek and nose "See you tomorrow" Then she turned to hug Pablo

"Hasta mañana, mi ladybug" Pablo kissed her cheek several times as well

"Te quiero mucho papi"

"Y yo a ti, bonita" They high-fived each other before you putted Helena down and watched her go towards the door, with Pablo holding it open for her, your mom's waiting for Helena who waved once more before leaving

"How do we got so lucky with her?" Pablo kissed your lips, sitting besides you in the bed, the hospital gave him

"I really don't know but I'm glad we did"

"Hope Mateo is the same"

"With a sister like Helena, he'll definitely be"

"Thank you, mi amor" He said smiling at you and you smiled back at him "For everything"

"Thank you too, for everything as well" You said "Te amo"

"Y yo a ti"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

[angelsanarchy]

Fever Dreams: Mike x Y/N One Shot Series PRT 09

Tagging: @icarus-star @chainsawgvtsfvck @romanroyapoligist @liquidsmoothdomme @madamemaximoff06 @drazenka @blacksoul-27 @444rockstargf @kappasbbgirl @luzclarita57 @tempt-ress

Mike had gotten in a little later than he expected but when he went upstairs to get a fork to eat his dinner, he found Leff was also sitting at the table eating. He sat down next to him and started eating silently for a few moments before Leff let out a sigh.

"Why is it that I was eating in peace not even 5 minutes ago and then you sit down and I can tell you want to chat about something." Leff looked at Mike.

"I didn't even say anything." Mike pointed out.

"It's the way you carry yourself, like you got fucking emotional baggage that wafts off you. It drives me nuts." Leff put his beer to his lips and Mike chuckled.

"I might have emotional baggage but you're fucking wound up like a fucking drum man. Relax a bit. Enjoy your gruel." Mike tossed his head towards Leff's food which looked strange.

"I'll be sure to let Y/n know you think her food is gruel you prick." Leff said as he went back to eating it.

"Y/n cooked that for you?" Mike asked in disbelief.

"Yeah she knows how to cook and I don't have time so when she makes extra she gives it to me. Don't put your hands on what's left. I'm eating that tomorrow." Leff warned.

"What even is it?" Mike made a face and Leff rolled his eyes.

"It's beef stew and potatoes. What are you fucking blind?" Leff tilted the bowl down and Mike shrugged.

"I don't have a lot of home cooked meals man, relax." Mike chuckled.

"Yeah well all that bullshit fast food will kill you. You know we got that fucked up heart shit in this family." Leff looked back down into his bowl and kept eating.

"I don't know how heart health meat and potatoes is." Mike watched Leff cut his eyes at him and he put his hands up in defeat.

"Can I ask you a question without you losing your shit?" Mike tried and Leff dropped his fork in his bowl.

"Can a man just eat food in his own kitchen without being pestered?" Leff looked annoyed but Mike continued.

"Mom...how the hell did she hook up with Y/n? I mean she wasn't a..." Mike trailed off unsure of whether he wanted to know if his mom was a stripper or not but Leff shook his head.

"No God no. I'd have kicked her ass. She was buying out of the club that Y/n worked at. Y/n would stumble across her when she was leaving and make sure she hadn't OD'ed in the alleyway. Eventually I had to give her my number so I could pick her up from the hospital or her apartment." Leff explained looking a little more mellow when talking about his sister and Y/n.

"So she just decided to take on Mom in active addiction just because?" Mike didn't believe everyone had simple goodness in them, especially not in New York. He had only been here for a while and he had been cussed out more in the last few weeks than in his entire life.

"You know how your mom was. She could make friends with anyone. She was always gabbing with strangers. Y/n just happened to be the one she liked to talk to." Leff scrapped the bottom of his bowl.

"Y/n told me that mom wanted me to meet her so we could date." Mike said watching Leff's face carefully.

"You couldn't handle a woman like Y/n, man. She's got baggage to the 11th degree." Leff snorted.

"Everyone has baggage." Mike returned knowing that he's not the picture of a perfect date either. Leff focused his gaze at his nephew.

"Baggage that would crush you...her exboyfriend was that hulk sized bodyguard at ER's place. The one who stood silently and wanted to murder me with his fucking eyes. He's a roided out piece of shit who considers prison time a vacation." Leff explained.

"Well it's not like I would take her out to a strip club Leff." Mike chuckled and Leff shook his head.

"She used to get the shit kicked out of her Mikey. The amount of times she called for your mom and I was picking her up bruised and bloody was beyond the number of times you've had a cigarette." Leff pressed making Mike look at him. He could actually see some sympathy in Leff's eyes, which was rare.

"I'm not a shitty guy though. Maybe she could use someone like me." Mike suggested.

"I'm telling you, move on man. That's not a scab you should be picking at." Leff pushed up from the table and tossed his bowl in the sink before leaving Mike sitting at the kitchen table alone.

He looked at his takeout and suddenly realized he didn't have much of an appetite. He knew that he could treat a woman right in a relationship. He had never put hands on one in his life. He didn't believe in it but for some reason, Leff made it seem like Y/n was too broken for someone who wasn't as rough as she was.

He knew Leff would be pissed if he kept bringing up the idea of pursuing Y/n but he didn't care. He was grown and so was she. Mike wanted nothing more than to treat her how she should be treated.

[deanoheartspie]

Sunshine 3

Pairing: Cowboy Sheriff Dean x City Gal Reader

Summary: After your family cut you off, your great-aunt Laura invited you over to her ranch you often visited when you were just a child... You drive through the beautiful town until you accidentally graze a horse that just so happens to be the sheriffs...

Warnings: None

A/N: Let me know what you think and what your theories are!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Y/N'S POV

Who is this Lisa and who the heck are Ben and Aurora? It wasn't my business so I slowly backed up leaving the green eyed-man with the darker hair woman. After a few minutes she saw them bicker, well it was more of the woman than Dean he kinda just stood there and took it. As if he was used to it.

And let me tell you... He didn't look to happy when he came back over.

“Dean, what happened?” you ask as he drags you off to the diner, the moment we stepped in fresh common rolls filled your nose and you nearly died and went to heaven.

The man ignored your question while he sat on the other side of the booth, waiting for me to decide on what to get.

“Good morning Sheriff, same as usual?” The chirpy young woman asks with a smirk, He nods and as the woman is about to walk away he clears his throat. “You didn't ask her what she wanted.”

The woman looked me up and down as she rolled her eyes, “What do you want?” she asked not caring for an answer. I guess no Southern hospitality.

Did you say or do something wrong?

You had always hated attitude when it was directed at you, it made you feel small and weak. At this point, you knew how to put on your best face.

weakly smiled trying to make your smile reach your eyes, maybe the girl was just having a bad day? You never know. “I'll get eggs and bacon please” keeping your voice steady and quiet, The waitress simply walks off and into the back of the diner.

First Dean with the grumpy look on his face after seeing the 'Lisa' woman and now the waitress who seemed to already hate her. Maybe marriage would've been the best choice... What if your mom and dad were right? You couldn't live on my own.

“Sorry Darlin' I don't know what crawled up her ass today.” Dean apologizes while flipping through the newspaper. A fresh pot of hot coffee was set on the end of the table, so you poured us both a cup and took a nice sip.

Soon enough, the hot food was placed on the table and Dean had quite a lot of food. Three burritos and an extra side of potatoes.

“How the hell are you able to eat all of that?” you asked shocked as he stuffed his mouth with the food, eating like he hadn't eaten for days.

His bright green eyes, flick over to you as he innocently shrugs before grinning, “Well when you work two jobs you're dammed to burn off calories”

The rest of breakfast was quiet, you take out my wallet paying which you learned very quickly that Dean didn't like that not one bit.

“My momma is gonna whoop my ass, if she finds out I let a girl pay on the first date.”

You raise a brow leaning your chin in the palm of your hand, “First date huh” you teased with a shit-eating grin.

“Y'know what I mean” he rolled his eyes a soft smile on his face but he was quick to hide it by picking up the newspaper to hide his face.

-------------☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️--------------

Around 1:25 we arrived back at the ranch, Dean helped me carry my shopping bags upstairs, in all honesty, you expected some complaints but nope he was quiet as a mouse before disappearing off.

You organized all my new clothes into the drawers, putting all your old clothing into bags to donate. You didn't know how long you planning on staying here for, maybe until you got back on your feet and saved up enough money to leave. After all, you weren't made to take care of a ranch.

A few hours later, the sun had started to go down and You hadn't seen anyone since you got home. You walked downstairs seeing the little kitchen light on, your aunt Laura sitting there with a tea and book in hand. “Your here? I thought you'd be at the bar like everyone else?”

The bar?

You shake your head taking next to her, she offers you a book and you nod. We both quietly read for a few, until she decides to call it a night leaving you alone in the kitchen.

*Boom*

Heavy feet walk across the floor as a laugh escapes the Green-eyed man's mouth. He's drunk when he makes his way towards you. “Yo- you look good in the boots” Dean muttered with a grin, wrapping his arms around you tight.

Drunk Dean is apparently very touchy but not in an inappropriate way.

“Thank you?” you laugh as you walk over to the counters, he was dragging himself every time you moved. Filling the glass with water you hand it to the drunken man. “Drink.” He whines burying his head into your shoulder.

“Fine” He pouts as he downs the water before stuffing his face with some oreos. “Carry me?” you snort and start to laugh. “I can't carry you Deano”

It was different from seeing the usual gruff man be all sweet and clingy. In all honesty it was kinda cute.

The man gasps and places a hand on his chest, staring at you like you had said the most offensive thing ever. “Are you... Are you calling me fat!” he squints his eyes at you slapping his hand away after you attempt to help him up. “Get those filthy hands away” he stands up putting his hand on the wall helping him balance, groaning as he trips over the loud creaky stairs.

“Let me help.” you sigh and help him up as he smiles, finally guiding him into his room. Helping him take off his boots tossing them to the siand de, getting him tucked in. “Goodnight Dean”

“Goodnight sunshine”

Chapter 4

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

----Tag list----

@deans-spinster-witch @leigh70 @mrsjenniferwinchester @ladysparkles78 @hobby27 @khaleesihavilliard @foxyjwls007 @lucidlivi @jc-winchester @globetrotter28 @beskarfilms @the141bandicoot @alysinwonderland-at-tea @randomgurl2326 @ambergoddess444 @westernwinchesters @lemmons1998 @julie040904 @nic-kolas @raisinggray @alternativeprincess

[gutsypop]

hospital tripping

it starts with us in my school hallways weree giving out something. im w 3 other people. n when we reach the rubbish bin someone said to the other person that he dated his brother. the guy spits out his water. also gru was there somewhere

now im watcing a drama video about this person. TURNS OUT THAT IT WAS NOODLES EX. (i dont think noodle actually has an ex) and like its a minecraft drama video czu of course it is. smhmyhead. and they do an interview with noodle and her username is censored. BUT YEAH. I KNOW A NOODLE WHEN I SEE ONE. and im like uhhhhhh i wanna ask noodle about it. but i dont wnana cuz it seemed recent n they didnt tell me so like. i end up in the hospital.

next section

im in a corn maze n it plays out like pacman in 3rd person back and im like i wanna go everywhere. so eventually i end up on a highway in a car learning how to drive and im connected to another car w my friends parents by a dog leash. so im learning ho wto turn. then they go into the middle field so i go in too and start to relax and i lay down on my back. then the leash breaks. my friends parents say thi is why we have solutions to things. and they fix the leash. but i done caused traffic on the entire highway and everyone was yelling and mad. people start to walk out of their vehicles and complain. someones like "is this why all of [SCHOOL] is leaving" or smth like that and im trying to pick up all my things off the ground. my mom picks me up telling me its time to go. im sobbing and i drop my brushes and she keeps on trying to tell me its time to go. but i told her that we paid for all of these. i have a lot of brushes. and i eventually get all of them. im back in the hospital. the same room as before. i left my notebook in there. i look out the window. its all white and bright. someone visits me. i dont remember or know who. but we were friends.

now im at school. and its all people who also went to the trip. its nighttime there and the lights are all on. it looks nice. i walk thru the 2nd floor hallway. theres some people whispering abt me. i go into the library and sit at a magenta tbale. i cry for a little bit and leave after. i see an old school friend while leaving. we just stare at each other. my friend takes me upstairs and on the top of the stairs are 5 coloring pages with 5 colors. red, green, yellow, blue. she says that not all colors are accurate to the piciture because the fmaily doesnt want to do it. ok but HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS???? PHILOSOPHICAL MUCH??? i go downstairs again and i see that old friend again and we just stare at each other again.

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

So fun fact about my grandpa's funeral /s

6 days before the fact, we were informed that we could have a slideshow playing during the funeral. My grandma was interested in that, so we got to work.

It was recommended that we include about 50 photos. Definitely no more, but everyone told me it was nightmarish whenever there weren't enough photos of the deceased and the few available played on repeat. The only issue was... being that my grandma is 94 years old, the large majority of the photos we had were printed.

We didn't have a scanner. We didn't have time to get them scanned somewhere (where?). So whenever I had time to sit in front of the computer during those ~6 days, my mission was to:

take a photo of each photo with my phone

personally. i was the only one whose phone had a good enough camera, and i was the only one with enough common sense to use good enough lighting every time.

add them to a google drive

edit the horrors caused by the fact that those were photos of photos from my phone

The computer? A 9 years-old laptop belonging to my brother that you could hear screaming from the next room. I got started by Googling "some guy recreated photoshop online tumblr" and finding out that one program/site is called Photopea.

Each action took a minimum of one minute to load. Some of the photos were very difficult to salvage (aka the few photos that were taken by someone other by me. No please go ahead take your photo in the darkest room in the house. I don't mind.) but I still wound up doing a very clean job, and some of the photos, you couldn't tell were... a photo of a glossy photo with a smartphone.

The only person who sent us digitalised photos was my cousin, and this caused her to be way over-represented in the slideshow.

After taking these notes:

...I had two of them disappear under mysterious circumstances. You're not even the favourite grandchild.

As a note, I tried to get my brother, who was still at home and is supposed to be great at Photoshopping, to edit some of the photos. He half-assed it, didn't understand the assignment, and I wound up having to do it again anyway.

I worked hard, and I guess it was somehow expected of me, because no one but my mom seemed to really acknowledge the hard and specific work I was given.

One last fun fact before I go: I was the last person to see my grandpa alive. On the day we learned he might die, after spending hours by his side in the hospital, my grandma started feeling unwell. When we brought her downstairs where the A/C was on, I left some stuff in the room, to make sure we couldn't possibly leave without coming back to say goodbye. My grandma felt uncomfortable coming back, when at this point he was in a coma. I went back upstairs alone, and I was the last person to tell him goodbye.

I sort of knew it might turn out to be the case. That's why I tried to speak loudly and slowly, on the off-chance he could still hear me. Still, this lives with me. I'm really not that special, I wasn't that impactful in my grandpa's life, but in his last moments I was the only one who managed to communicate with him, who took care to understand his difficult speech, who spoke back in a comprehensible voice. As it turned out, I was the very last person to speak to him at all.

During the ceremony, I decided against walking up to his coffin to traditionally "say goodbye" before the incineration. I already had. My brother asked about it, but he was understanding of my decision. The slideshow was playing in the background: they used a surprisingly good screen, and everyone thought the photos looked great. It wound up playing a few times in a row. I knew I was in three photos, though one is a group photo where I'm barely visible, so closer to two; one where I was a kid, and one where I was probably 18. The thought played and replayed in my mind that it might fuck me up if when they push the coffin out of the room, the last photo on-screen as he leaves the room is one with me.

...You probably get why I'm even mentioning this. Somehow, that it was the photo where I was already an adult made it sting even more.

[flamingjets]

Loss of a parent..

Death of a parent is tough. especially when it is unexpected and no one sees it coming. My dad was healthy and active and yet a couple days before he died he was complaining of shortness of breathe. The nurses at the doctors office didn't even check him over just sent him on his way and made an appointment with his doctor on of course the day he died.

I can remember the day like it was yesterday or even just like it happened today. I was at work at got the call from my mom that the paramedics were at the house working on my dad giving him CPR. I nearly fell to the floor as a coworker had to grab me and pull me over to a bench near her desk. I was shaking and in shock. I tried to find one of my managers but of course at that moment neither of them were around. One was taking a personal day and the other was off on a meeting. I was freaking out needing to get home and wanting to tell my manager I was leaving. I also did not have my car since it was then Friday I didn't drive to work but took the LRT. I was freaking out knowing I would have to wait to catch another train. Thankfully another coworker of mine without hesitation offered to drive me home!

While in the car I was talking to my sister who was freaking out as well and needing to grab an uber as she couldn't function to drive safely and I told her I'd call my boyfriend to pick her up since he lives about five minutes away from her and can get her to our house. The more time in the car with news from my mom about my dad the dread washed over me knowing it was going to not end on a good note. The paramedics weren't taking my dad to the hospital as my mom was hoping...

I finally got home and ran inside after thanking my coworker profusely for driving me there! I ran inside and saw my mom as she told me they were still working on my dad and don't go upstairs. She filled me in on how my dad didn't come downstairs for his usual breakfast and she went upstairs to find him breathing heavy, grey and clammy as she asked him if he should call 911. the last words my dad said to my mom were "I think I'm dying". Before long the paramedics arrived and that was the last time my mom saw my dad alive.

My mom need fresh air and went outside to take a breather and that was moment the paramedic came downstairs and told me my dad had died and they tried everything and still couldn't bring him back. The shock, pain and grief were overwhelming I had to sit down. My dad was dead just like that. I last saw him alive the night before as I said good night and told him see him tomorrow. I never got to speak to my dad again or see him. My mom returned back inside with my sisters fiancee as he just arrived at the same moment my mom went outside for a breather. I looked at her and started freaking out and she told me not to but that no longer was an option as dad was just pronounced dead. My mom crumbled as my sisters fiancee pulled her in for a hug as I put my hands to my head and couldn't believe it. And to a certain degree I still don't believe it. Paramedics asked me if I wanted to see my dad and I went upstairs with one of them as the rest of the crew were putting away their life saving efforts so I could say good bye to my dad. I asked them to close his eyes. As I looked down at my once alive and breathing dad lying on the ground white and the life no longer there I felt numb. I said goodbye to him. To this day I look into my parents room and stare at the spot and picture my dads lifeless body still there.

My sister called and asked if my boyfriend and her should go to the hospital ad why aren't the paramedics being dad to the hospital. She already knew the answer but can't tell her over the phone dad was gone. Just said get here quick. Once my sister arrived at the house I asked the paramedics if they have sedatives since my sister might need one. Humor in a dark moment. My sister came through the door and was already crying as she crumbled into our moms arms and then her fiancees arms as I crumbled into my boyfriends arms and started to cry. My dad was gone.

My dad died at home and the death wasn't suspicious so they didn't take him away so we had to make plans for a funeral home to come and pick up his body. It was the hardest two hours waiting for the funeral home to show up and pick up his body. I kept going up stairs to check on him as the color changed on his face from white to purple as the blood stop circulating. I needed to see him or make sure nothing was happening to him. finally the funeral home showed up and took him away. Hearing them wrap up his body and bring it down the stairs as they bumped down them in my head i screamed at them be careful with him! Not like it matter he no longer felt pain.

In that moment I said goodbye to my dad officially as it was the last time I would see his body as they took him away.

Even after a month of him being gone I still can't believe its happening that my dad is gone. I have moments where I cry but mostly I get a pit in my stomach and feel very anxious. I have to stay strong for my mom as she needs the support and she cries almost every day so does my sister and I feel like I have no more tears to cry. He wasn't ready to die and we weren't ready to say good bye. its unfair and I get mad since why did this have to happen and why couldn't they bring him back. I know its stupid to be angry at the nurses but they should of checked him over and maybe just maybe he would still be here but no.

I have to be strong for everyone. If I can hold the pain and grief for my mom and sister I will. I will be strong but even at times I can't be strong anymore and cry. But then pick myself up and be strong again. I feel numb and at times do not really care or find myself not caring. i know its bad but I can't seem to get past it.

[sushiwife]

***Warning: talk and description of death***

At 10:25 pm on October 31, my dad began showing signs of a stroke. He'd had a few over the years, so my mom was atleast able to figure out that he was having difficulties.

I had stepped out temporarely to assist someone at my job, and was back only minutes later. As I walked up to the door, I noticed that the t.v. was off and mom was sitting in front of dad. After spending the majority of my life helping my mom take care of my dad, I immediately knew something was wrong.

The very first thing I noticed getting into the house is that my dad looked like he had melted into his chair. That the best way to describe it. Poor posture, glassy eyes, slow to respond, drool coming out of the right side of his mouth. There was blood too. I started to assess him, asking him who, what, where, and when. He answers all of those correctly. We take his blood pressure, it's normal for him, a little on the high side. He complains that he can't move his right leg. Mom points out he can't move his right arm either. We spend just a couple minutes trying to figure out what was going on and we determine that he is absolutely have a neurological episode of some sort. To what degree, we weren't sure.

The funny thing is, if you have had any sort of neurological problem, sometimes having an infection or even pneumonia starts off looking like a neuro episode. It makes you feel real stupid when you call 911 and it turns out he just has a bad UTI.

Either way, there was a problem and we couldn't get him to the car with the way he was. I call 911, and dispatch guides me through another assessment. She tells me that an ambulance is on their way. What clued me in that this was different than any other time, is that she tells me to stay on the phone. Usually they ask if it's okay to end the call as someone was on their way. She asks me more questions.

My husband has come upstairs at this point. I told him I was on the phone with 911 and he immediately begins to help me clear the living room so that the EMTs can assist my dad with less difficulty. He tosses the cat in the bathroom. Mom starts to grab her things, phone, tablet, charge cords, it's gonna be a long night.

EMTs arrive quickly. They begin to do their own assessment, asking us questions, asking dad questions, taking his blood pressure, checking his glucose ( he's not diabetic). The get what I call 'The Chair'. It looks as the name suggests, but it also has straps, handles, and wheels. They get dad situated.

One EMT has sleeve tattos. I hear my dad say "Nice tats." It's slurred at this point. My bloods begins to run ice cold.

The get my dad loaded up, I help mom pack her to go bag. Once they begin to roll away, I notice that they left their medic bag. I hear that it's bad if they do that, and I get it, with all the stuff in there, however I don't feel it to be unprofessional. I feel like it shows how focused they were on my dad and making sure that he was tended to in a timely manner. I tell mom to let one of the nurses know that the EMTs left the bag. They will know how to get a hold of them.

Mom heads to the hospital. I don't go because of COVID. The whole ordeal takes place in about 20 minutes.

Mom calls me a very short time later. They hadn't put him into a ER room yet, he went straight to CT. Mom tells me it's not looking good.

The EMT comes by to grab his bag.

Mom calls again, dad is being transfered to the nearest Trauma 1 center, an hour and a half away by car. He is being airlifted. She says once he gets loaded onto the helicopter, she'll head home to get clothes and other toiletries. She's called my brother, he's coming to drive her. She says it's really bad, but he's still awake and talking. I start gathering her things, then my things. I tell my husband to get his things.

Mom gets back from the hospital, they had to sedate, then intubate him because he started retching. She tells me to wait to drive. Come after you've gotten rest, she tells me. There's no point in both of us being exhausted. My brother shows up and they leave.

I switch between packing and panicing. I barely get three hours of sleep.

I fucking book it to the hospital. Exhausted, worried, I didn't know what to think. When I get there my mom gives me a hug. She asks me if I want to go see dad. I say yes. She walks me to where the unit is. We have to be buzzed in. She shows me the way to his room. I walk around the corner and into the room I go. And my heart just breaks.

There is my dad. Laying there, tube down his throat, leaning to the one side, not awake. I break down.

Mom tells me that we are now waiting for my sister to get here so we can have a meeting with the doctors. My heart sank.

It was a short while later that my sister arrives. Mom alerts the doctor and we all go into a little conference room. He's had a massive stroke. There is significant damage, substantial bleeding. If he makes it, he will never walk, never talk, need 24/7 care. He would have to be place into a long term care facility. That was if he made it. The first order of business, they have determined that the bleeding had stopped, but the blood might still be spreading. If the blood reaches to certain parts of the brain, it is 95% fatal. There is a surgery they can perform to alieviate the blood and pressure (because there was a little bit of swelling in the brain), but it would not have any affect on his quailty of life. If we wanted them to, they would perform the surgery, and it could possibly extend his life, but to an unknown degree. They weren't sure if he would survive the surgery. The other options we were given were wait and see if he recovers any functionality or we discuss removing the tube. We opt to wait and see for a day or two, and then discuss our options from there.

Thus begins the worst and most devastating week of my life. We immediately opt out of the surgery, because we felt it would do no good. There is no recovery. We've all come to the same conclusion. Dad was not coming home with us. We decide to remove the tube, but we are able to wait a few days so people can say their goodbyes.

Sunday comes and they remove the tube. He continues breathing on his own. We go in to see him several times. I get an opportunity to talk to him alone, tell him I love him. Talked about everything that had happened and that our options weren't good, that he wouldn't want us to let him live like that. I told him that I wished there was another way, another option, a miracle, because I wasn't ready to let him go, but I knew that we needed to.

They moved him to palliative care, we wait while they get him settled and helped Mom get situated. My husband and I stay at a nearby hotel as we planned to visit the next morning. I am absolutely miserable. We get food and I barely eat a third of it. This whole time, I had been messaging with various people in our lives, letting them know what was happening. There was one I had forgotten, a friend from high school that got on really well with my dad. I told her what had happened, what was going to happen. I told her I didn't want her randomly find out down the road.

Eventually I ready for bed, making sure I was wearing clothes that I could roll out of bed and leave in. We sleep, but only for a few hours as my mom calls me just before 3:30 am. It's time, but she's not even sure that I will make it before he passes. I jump out of bed, glasses, shoes, jacket on before the minute was up. Husband yanked on pants, shoes, and jacket and then we are off. I speed to the hospital, no one on the streets. We get to the hospital and through the checkpoint faster than I thought possible. Keep in mind, this hospital is massive, practically a city all on it's own. We find the right elevator, get up to the floor and to his quickly.

I walk into his room, prior to this, I didn't think he could look any worse. But he did. He wasn't breathing, mouth still open, pallor had turn yellow. His hands were still curled and stiff, but even puffier than before. While no one would confirm this, I'm sure he was already dead. Mom just sat there, just as shell-shocked as I was, wondering if this was really happening. After several minutes, two nurses came in with a heart monitor. This was palliative care, so rushing wasn't going to be a thing. They hooked him up and after a few more minutes they inform us that they no longer detect a heart beat. That he had passed.

They give their gentle condolences, tell us that a doctor will be in shortly to pronounce the time of death. They tell us that there is no rush, that we may spend whatever time we need with him. They leave and then the doctor arrives shortly after. He introduces himself and that he was going to exam my dad. He does so and officially announces that he has passed. The Dr gives condolences and an apology, but he has questions he needs to ask us. Would we like an autopsy (he didn't recommend as we knew the causes), informs us that the donor network would be calling us within two hours to ask questions, and a few others that I don't remember. He then excuses himself, repeats what the nurse had told us. We all just sit there. We quietly talk, mostly about nothing. My mom asks me to call the funeral home we had planned to use, and request the pick up.

After a little back and forth, mom and I confirming with one another that we are indeed ready to leave. As ready as we would ever be. Afterwards was blur, going back to the hotel, getting breakfast, the donor network called and asked invasive yet necessary questions for an hour an a half. My brother and sister in law show up, eventually we decide it's time to go home and face the music.

[wishingonshootingstarsx]

I found my dad last night on the ground

I heard the door creak from upstairs

and then the dog began to bark

I was worried it was a burglar or someone there to do us harm

I yelled for my mom and went downstairs

the front door was open--it’s never open

but I couldn’t see anything outside.

My dad was not in his chair

he was not on the couch

he was not there

My mothers phone rang

a call from two good sameritans who had my father 

he was right outside.

he was on the ground

laying there

face down

not moving

under a blanket from the woman’s car

his left shoe was off of his foot

there was a smashed bottle of kettle one vodka

and blood

so much blood.

He was slurring 

they said he couldnt get up

they called an ambulance

the EMTs rolled him over

i put on his left shoe

and tried not to look at his bloodied face

they put him on a stretcher

he asked for the blanket back

they put him in the ambulance and I had to give them his information

First name. Last name. spelled out--not spoken, because no one ever gets it right. 

I rattled off the names of his medications. 

The antidepressant he told me he stopped taking cold turkey

The diazepam that’s only as needed for anxiety but I didn’t know if he took it today

The antibiotic that is supposed to clear up what we thought was prostate cancer but hopefully isn’t

and the diabetes medicine I don’t know the name of. 

I saw my breath in the cold with each word and felt the goose flesh pebble my legs

The EMTs asked me if I wanted to ride along 

but my mom can’t drive

and I was in shorts and I didn’t have my phone to call Max

I wanted to run back inside but I didn’t want them to waste time not treating him.

So I let them go. 

I made sure to be gracious. to thank the EMTs for helping him

On Christmas night

I did not want them to see him as a drunk. 

I wanted them to know that he mattered to me before they drove away.

After I hopped out of the ambulance, I allowed myself one minute to cry

then I sucked  

In the hospital they told us they didn’t know how long he was out in the cold, laying on the ground, in a puddle of vodka and his own blood

 but his temperature was dangerously low

I could see his eye then--starting to swell and bruise 

smaller cuts nicked his arms and hands.

The xrays were good but the CT was worrisome

He had a subdural hematoma--blood in his brain

I told him earlier that night that my worst fear was that he’d crack his head open and die

Now he did 

but drunks have nine lives

"There are no more excuses. I can’t think of any. I’m sorry I’m not the perfect father. I have a disease. I am going to go to this rehab in January. I just need to keep all of the balls in the air. You don’t understand. I’m okay. I’m sorry.”

When we took him home the next day, he was so weak he couldn’t make it up the stairs. He shook and vomited and slept. 

then he woke up the next day

put a hat over his nine face stitches and black eye

and pretended like 

it 

was

 all 

okay

I guess he found more excuses 

[ex-furry]

want to talk about how my mom passed away and get it out. under a read more. slight emeto tw. very long. have probably said most of this before.

on august 30th, my mom began having extreme stomach pains. she called me upstairs where she was curled up in her bed, right hand on her belly and left hand gripping her phone. she instructed me to comb my fingers through her hair while she called her doctor, so i did. physical contact always made me freeze up, though. a nurse picked up the phone when she called, and all i remember is that she was told to go to the emergency room. i went downstairs after my mom told me i could stop petting her head for her and told my dad the news. he immediately got ready; he packed his bag and hers. he's been doing this kind of thing for nine years. getting my mom downstairs was hard, but we eventually got her there.

she was vomiting on the couch in the family room. even though my dad was always prepared for situations like this, it was still a bit chaotic. the image of my parents leaving for the emergency room—an emergency room that was three hours away, mind you, because my mom had so many medical issues that our local emergency room couldn't do much for her—is burned into my brain. my mom was so scared. she shakily shouted at me, "i love you," and i said it back. i didn't know that that would be the last time i'd ever see her at home.

upon entering the ER, it was discovered that my mom had a perforated bowel and that surgery would have to be done to repair it. no one told me that she would have died without that surgery until three weeks later. i thought she was having stomach issues due to an excess of potassium, which is something she'd experienced before that gave her similar symptoms. i thought it was as simple as that. i couldn't have been more wrong.

the surgery was semi-successful. they repaired her bowel, but her liver was failing, which made it difficult for her bowel to heal. my mom had struggled with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and cirrhosis for years. in 2013, she had a liver transplant to save her from cirrhosis. a few weeks after that transplant, she had a perforated bowel. she managed to get through it, but it was miraculous that she did.

my brother, my sister-in-law, and i visited my parents in the hospital every week for a day or two. she was in the surgical ICU at that point, but she was hardly awake. if she was, she was completely delirious. her liver always did that to her when it was failing.

on september 16th, my dad texted the three of us and asked if we could come down to the hospital that day. he told us not to worry, but i immediately burst into tears. i slid off the couch and onto the floor. i couldn't stop myself from desperately pleading out loud. i don't know who i was asking for help. i called my dad but he didn't answer, which i figured would happen. eventually, he called me back. he said, "i'm not trying to worry you all." i responded, "it's not working." neither of us could hold back our tears. he told me he didn't want to say any of his bad news over the phone, that he wanted us to be there so he didn't have to do it all by himself. all we could really do was squeak out an "i love you so much" between sobs. i told him how strong he was, how much we all admired him. i reassured him that he wouldn't be alone for any of this.

my brother and his wife picked me up from my parents' house shortly after that. my sister-in-law held my hand as i explained everything my dad told me. we started the three-hour drive.

when we got to the hospital, my mom had moved from the SICU to the step-down unit in the main part of the hospital. my dad sat us down in a small, dark waiting room. waiting room was a stretch, really. it was just a little inlet in the hallway with a few chairs and a vending machine. it wasn't that great of a place to face the mortality of your mother.

the conversation is a blur. my papaw—my mom's dad—was there too, along with his new wife. i held my sister-in-law's hand as tightly as i could.

my mom wasn't completely there when we went in to see her. when your liver starts failing like that, that's what happens; you start to make up scenarios, feel emotions that aren't yours, spit out hateful words you don't even mean. i was still happy to see her. before we left for the night, i made sure to tell my mom that i loved her. i said it first that time, which i never did. my dad even made note of it, too. my mom nodded and said, "i love you too." i know she meant it.

my mom got moved back to the SICU the next day so they could monitor her blood pressure more closely. three of my aunts also came down for a day during the weekend to visit. their time with her was very different from ours, though. she told one of them that she didn't want her kids to be sad, that she wanted us to be okay and safe. she admitted that she wanted to "be out of this body" and find peace, too. we discussed this particular remark as a family later on in the atrium on the sixth floor. we were sure she meant it in a general sense—she wanted peace in that she wanted to be left alone by all of the nurses and the needles and the beeping machines—but we knew it went a bit deeper than that. it was hard to say that out loud, though.

september 19th was our last good day. we had all been told morbid things, but we were hopeful.

on september 20th, the palliative care team came into the hospital room and gave us the information that they'd been holding over our heads like a piano. we knew before that day that we'd have to talk to them, but it didn't feel real until that moment. it was just me and my dad in the room at the time, not counting my mom, because they only allowed two people back there at a time. a male doctor was the one who started it all off, but the female doctor next to him jumped in and changed the angle of the conversation. the female nurse next to them didn't say much.

it happened just over a month ago, but i can't remember much of what was said. they told us that all of the medication that they were givimg my mom was just putting off the inevitable. the drains in her abdomen that were getting rid of the fluids that her failing liver was creating were prolonging her death. there was nothing more they could do. she was too sick for anything to work. they were going to move her to the palliative care unit the next day.

we went out to the waiting room to give my brother and his wife a gentler version of what the doctors had given us. my dad called my papaw and his mother, my grandma. he also chose to have my grandma tell everyone else in the family because he couldn't do it himself.

when my dad and i went back in to see her, she called me over to her bedside. she even called me "girl" like she always did at home. my mom asked me then if i was sad. i couldn't stop myself from crying on the spot. i don't know if she knew what was going on, but it felt like she did. i nodded as tears rolled down my cheeks and into my mask.

just as they had promised, they sent my mom down to the palliative care unit on the 21st. it was a much larger, brighter room than any of the ones we'd been in thus far. they even allowed five of us back there, which meant that everyone—me, my brother, my sister-in-law, my papaw, and my new step-grandmother—could visit at the same time. before they moved her down there, she was awake and had spoken a few times. afterward, though, she only occasionally opened her eyes. she never said anything.

after my papaw and his wife left, the rest of us stayed the night at the hospital. i slept on the fold-out chair to the left of the hospital bed, my dad slept in the recliner on the right—like he always did whenever my mom was in the hospital—and my brother and sister-in-law were given cots to set up. my sister-in-law also bought blankets from target for us. mine is folded over the back of the chair that i'm sitting in as i type this.

i couldn't be more grateful for that night.

at some point during the night, though, i woke up to my dad asking one of the nurses why my mom's breathing sounded so wet. she'd been breathing extremely heavily all day as she lay unconscious, but the sound had slowly changed. the nurse answered, "when they start the dying process, automatic bodily functions stop occurring." she'd stopped swallowing, so fluid was building up in her throat. i think about what that nurse said every day.

when we woke up the next morning, a large team of people—doctors, nurses, social workers—came into the room to tell us that our time was limited. the main doctor told us that it could've been hours or two days at that point. i'd been crying for the entire week before this, but once i started crying while listening to the doctor, i was approached by the social worker. she got close to me and told me she had lost her mom too, so she knew what i was feeling. at some point during this, my step-grandmother walked into the room without my papaw. i guess i sneered at her, because the social worker asked me who she was. i barely got it out, but i begrudgingly admitted who she was. the social worker groaned and told me that she'd had a similar step-grandmother situation before, and that she'd seen the look on my face when that woman barged into the room. i laughed.

after the medical team left, we all took turns holding my mom's hands, tracing her face with our fingers, playing with her hair the way she always loved.

she died around 3:00 p.m. there are no words to describe how it felt to realize that her breathing had finally stopped, that she was never going to make it out this time. everyone's emotions flooded to the forefront. we grabbed onto each other, held one another while we sobbed.

eventually, we had to go home. we packed up my dad's stuff, my mom's stuff, and started to head out. i was behind everyone else, standing in the threshold with a vase of flowers from my dad's work and his duffel bag. my dad asked, "are you ready to leave?" i turned to look back at my mom for the final time. i saw how her head was turned so she was facing the left side of the room, looking right at where i slept. her blonde and purple hair was still where i'd put it after she'd already passed. i told him that i wasn't ready. he said, "i know." i turned to face my dad and we walked out together.

the last time i ever saw her was right before we left, but she's still everywhere i go. she's looking right back at me when i stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. she's on my desk with the little note she gave me months before she died. she's sitting in her spot on the couch that everyone else refuses to use. she's gone, but echoes of her are still all around me. i hope they never go away.

[allthingsfangirl101]

The Girl Next Door Part 2–Steve Harrington

Part 1

Steve's POV

"I'm the girl next door. That simple."

The look on her face when she said that was stuck in my head the rest of the night. During dinner, my mom caught me being weird.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah," I said, not even convincing myself.

"What's on your mind?" She pushed.

"Y/N," I blurted out. I cleared my throat, looking down and pushing the peas around my plate.

"The girl next door?" Mom said with a small chuckle. "Why are you thinking about her?"

"I umm," I hesitated. "I drove her home from school today."

"You got home after 5," Mom said slowly. "Wait, was Y/N still at the school that late?"

"She was tutoring some kids," I shrugged. "When I walked out of practice, she was sitting on the bench. She said her mom was on her way, but it was late and I didn't feel right leaving her."

"I'm glad you offered to drive her home," Mom nodded. "People are still going missing. Mrs. Nelson from the laundromat told me her neighbor went missing. She's the town gossip so who knows if she's right, but still. We need to be careful. It would've been horrible if something happened to Y/N."

"Is this the girl you followed around like a puppy in elementary school?" Dad said, smirking at Mom.

"I didn't follow her around," I stuttered. "You guys wanted me to keep an eye on her, to keep her safe, so I did."

"We didn't tell you to keep an eye on the neighbor's daughter," Dad chuckled. "You made it your life mission to protect that girl."

Something next door caught my eye. I looked over to see Y/N moving around her kitchen.

"It made me sad when you two stopped hanging out," Mom sighed as she started to clear the table.

"She's a sweet girl," Dad said as he stood up. "A little shy, but that's not surprising since she's constantly home alone."

Y/N's dad is a cop and her mom works at the hospital. Both usually do the afternoon shift or the night shift, which means Y/N often goes home to an empty house.

When Y/N and I were in elementary school, my mom and I used to pick her up after school. She'd come over and eat dinner with us so she wasn't alone. She'd stay and hang out with me until one of her parents came home. Sometimes, she even stayed the night if both of her parents were working the night shift.

All of that stopped in middle school.

I stayed at the table as Dad went upstairs and Mom started doing the dishes. I looked back over at Y/N's house to see her standing by the kitchen window. She must've been doing the dishes.

As I watched her, I thought about our last conversation.

"I'm simply the girl who grew up next to the infamous Steve Harrington. You don't have to act like we're best friends."

I opened my mouth, but she kept talking. "Our parents are friends, which is why you felt like you had to give me a ride home. It's also why I got in the car. I don't want you to feel like you have to talk to me at school or sit by me at lunch."

"I'm sorry," I finally got out.

"I'm the girl next door. That simple."

Y/N wiped her hands on the kitchen towel and turned on her heel. I watched as she left the kitchen and went upstairs.

"What if it's not that simple?" I said under my breath.

                                * * * * *

As we warmed up, people came into the gym and sat in the stands. I looked up, a weird feeling engulfing me when I saw Y/N walking in. I followed her with my eyes as she found a seat on the edge of the bleachers.

My breath got stuck on my throat when she looked right at me. I smiled and waved. My stomach felt weird as she waved back, her face burning from her blush.

Throughout the first half, I couldn't stop myself from continuing to look at her. Every time I did, she'd blush and look away. I jumped when the ref blew the whistle for halftime. I looked up at Y/N to see her smiling. She was laughing at my jump.

I sent her a shrug and was about to head to the locker room when a group of kids walked over to Y/N. I watched, an odd feeling as they sat next to her. The entire time they talked to her, Y/N was playing with her hands.

"Harrington!" My coach yelled, forcing me to tare my eyes away from Y/N.

"Coming," I said.

I quickly glanced back at Y/N before following the rest of my team. I didn't pay attention to my coach's halftime pep talk. I was itching to go out and check on Y/N. Something about the group bothered me.

Why were they familiar?

And why didn't I like them talking to Y/N?

We left the locker room and as soon as I walked into the gym, I looked for Y/N. When I found her, she somehow seemed smaller. I looked at the kids around her, my anger building when I recognized who they were.

Freshman year. The kids who were bullying her.

Throughout the rest of the game, my focus was on Y/N surrounded by her bullies. I knew that the only reason she was here was because I had invited her to the game yesterday when I took her home. Which means the only reason she is surrounded by her bullies is because of me.

At the end of the game, I ran to the locker room and quickly changed. When I jogged back into the gym, it was empty. I ran my fingers through my hair as I tried to think of where she could be. I walked through the school, heading towards the parking lot.

I walked outside and my breath got stuck in my throat when I heard people laughing. I looked over, letting out a sigh of relief as my eyes landed on Y/N. That relief turned to anger when I saw she was surrounded by her bullies.

I didn't hear what they were saying and I didn't care. I started walking over to them but quickly started running when Andrew grabbed Y/N's shoulder.

"Hey!" I yelled, ripping his hand off of her and slightly pushing him back. I stepped in front of Y/N and gently grabbed her hand, pulling her behind me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked through my teeth.

"My problem?" Andrew scoffed. "You're the one who ran over here, yelling like a crazy person."

His friends laughed but my expression didn't change.

"Seriously, Harrington," Andrew sighed. "Chill. We were just. . ."

"Just what?" I harshly cut him off. "You grabbed her."

"Whoa," he laughed. "Take it easy."

"No," I said, trying and failing to hold my anger back.

"Steve," Y/N whispered from behind me.

"She speaks!" Luke, Andrew's right-hand idiot laughed. I could feel Y/N tuck more behind me. I squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her that it was going to be okay.

"I get it!" Morgan giggled. "Steve's the magic ingredient to get her talking."

"That doesn't make sense," Darrin smirked around me and at Y/N who had started shaking. "Steve wouldn't hang out with her. He's a basketball player. Y/N is the mute bookworm with no friends."

"Watch it," I said through my teeth.

"Or what?" Andrew challenged. I rolled my eyes as his friends laughed at his challenge.

"What, Steve?" Andrew continued. "What are you going to do if we don't leave the mute alone? What if I decide to start paying special attention to her? What are you going to do if. . ."

I didn't let him finish.

I let go of Y/N's hand and punched Andrew as hard as I could.

"Steve," Y/N gasped.

As Andrew's friends helped him, I turned towards Y/N to see her watching Andrew. When she looked back at me, her eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm. . . I'm fine," she stuttered. "But you. . . Why did you. . ."

"What the hell, man!" Andrew yelled.

I turned around and protectively stood in front of Y/N. He must not have liked the look on my face because his glare darkened. I got ready to push Y/N out of the way.

"You're dead!" He yelled as he charged me.

"Dude, chill!" Luke said as they stopped him. "If you get into another fight. . ."

"I know!" Andrew cut him off. He glared at me before turning around and starting to walk away.

"Hey!" I yelled, making the group stop. They turned around, all glaring at me. I took a couple of steps away from Y/N, ignoring when she whispered my name.

"If anyone comes near Y/N again, I'll do a lot worse."

With that threat, I grabbed her hand and led her away from the dumbfounded group. She kept glancing at me but didn't say anything. When we got to my car, I dropped my duffle bag and struggled to calm down. I paced back and forth in front of my car as Y/N watched me with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

I stopped pacing when she suddenly stood in front of me. We looked into each other's eyes, neither one of us saying anything. Suddenly, Y/N quickly wrapped her arms around my neck. The second I felt her tighten her hold on me, I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, inhaling the smell of her strawberry shampoo.

"Thank you," she whispered.

I shook my head, tightening my arms around her. We stood like that for a few minutes before Y/N slowly loosened her arms. Her hands were still on my shoulders as she took a step out of our embrace.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"Sorry?" I repeated, tightening my arms around her waist, trying to keep her from walking away from me. "What are you sorry for? I'm the one who punched Andrew."

I felt a chill as she finally let go of me, taking a step back. She wrapped her arms around herself as she looked away.

"I'm sorry for what I said the other night," she continued. "I didn't mean to come across. . . I just. . . You offered to drive me home and I acted like you were only doing it because of our parents."

"Y/N," I tried to interrupt her, but she kept talking.

"The truth is, that night, my mom was supposed to pick me up and take me home after the study session, but she took another shift without telling me. And my dad. . . I tried to call him but he must've been at the station because he didn't call me back. If you hadn't shown up. . ."

I closed the gap between us and gently grabbed her arms, unwrapping them from around herself. She looked up at me with soft, slightly embarrassed eyes.

"I'm sorry I was mean to you," she whispered.

"You weren't mean to me, Y/N," I chuckled. "I don't think you could be mean even if you wanted to. It's not physically possible for you to be mean."

Y/N looked away, trying to hide her blush. I let go of one of her hands and used my pointer finger to lift her chin. Once she was looking at me, I didn't let go of her chin. After a second of hesitation, I leaned in a pressed a delicate kiss to her lips. As quickly as I initiated it, I broke it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?" She asked barely audible.

"For drifting apart," I sighed. "We were friends but then I kind of stopped hanging out with you. I don't even have a good excuse. I just stopped. I'm sorry, Y/N."

"Steve, it's. . ."

I held my breath, waiting for her to finish. My stomach sank when she shook her head. She suddenly threw her arms around my neck again. This time, instead of hugging me, she kissed me.

I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her back.

"Never again," I whispered when I broke the kiss.

"What?" Y/N asked with a small giggle. I smiled and reached up, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I won't leave you," I clarified.

"Promise?"

"Never again."

[neytirisblog]

....do you mind doing something about being the younger daughter to ed and Lorraine but you inherited her powers, and something happens so arne has to call your parents in a panic?

panic

| pairings: arne johnson x fem!warren!reader

| summary: you and arne are hanging out at his place when something strange happens to you and you see a glimpse of something strange.

| warnings: fluff, car accident , sorta-angst? not rlly, panicked arne, blood.

| A/N: hi anon! i hope you like this :) also sorry it’s short <3

you were staying at your boyfriend, arne’s house for the weekend, you usually stayed at each other’s house’s every weekend and this weekend you stayed at his place.

it was 11:30 and you and arne were watching a movie, cuddled together, a blanket covering the two of you.

“ hey, arne. i’ll be right back i’m gonna go get ready for bed. " i spoke softly, he nodded his head and let me go as i took the blanket off of me and walked to his bathroom.

i was mid- brushing my teeth when my head started pounding, i brushed it off thinking it was most likely a migraine. it went away for a few minutes.

once i was finished fully brushing my teeth i was going to wash my face but then it felt like someone had hit me in the head with something hard.

i gasped and fell to the floor, holding my head, right when i did that these strange moving pictures appeared in my head. it was a quick glimpse of judy driving and then it switched and her head was down, her car window smashed and blood tricking down her forehead.

𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

i paused the movie and waited for y/n to get back, i shut my eyes falling a sleep for a while but i was awoken with a blood curling scream. y/n.

i quickly shot up and threw the blanket off of me running to y/n. she was on her knees holding her head, tears rolling down her cheek’s.

“ y/n! are you okay!? ” i asked, that was stupid of me to ask she’s literally screaming and crying. “ do you want me to do something!? " i cried out.

she slowly opened her eyes and tried to stand up but failed, i caught her and picked her up bridal style and took her too the bed. she was still crying.

i didn’t know what to do so i ran downstairs and went to the house phone and rang her parents, the warrens. they answered so quickly.

“ hello? " lorraine’s voice rang through the phone, i panicked and i suddenly started to stutter.

“ y/n- she- uh- i don’t know what’s going on she just started screaming and crying and she’s holding her head, could you please get over here as soon as possible? ” i asked lorraine.

she said ‘ yes ‘ and then we hanged up and i waited for them to arrive, the doorbell rang a few minutes later and i opened it and saw ed and lorraine with worried expression’s.

“ she’s upstairs, in my room. " i said and they nodded there head’s and thanked me and went upstairs, i followed.

before we could even open the door we heard her crying out judy’s name, ed and lorraine both furrowed their eyebrows.

they opened the door and rushed over to her. tears running down her face.

“ y/n, what’s wrong? ” lorraine asked, hugging the girl tightly.

“ judy! it’s judy! i saw her get into a car accident it was like i saw a glimpse of her. ” y/n spoke, ed and lorraine both looked at eachother eyes wide in panic.

“ y/n, i think you inherited my powers. " lorraine told y/n and her eyes widened at her mother’s words

𝐘/𝐍'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕:

i was still in panic, i mean i inherited my mother’s powers, that’s crazy. my parents and arne comforted me and we went to the nearest hospital.

“ judy warren. is she in here? ” ed asked the lady at the front desk.

“ yes, she was just brought in thirty minutes ago, she got into a terrible car accident. " the lady spoke.

“ can we go see her? ” lorraine asked.

“ are you her parents? ” the lady asked us.

“ yes, that’s her sister and that’s her sister’s boyfriend. ” ed spoke pointing at me and arne.

“ well, we can only let two people in so since your the parents you both can go in. ” she spoke.

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

my parents came back out of the room judy was in and walked over to arne and i.

“ she’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be okay. ” mom spoke, hugging me tightly.

[tyongxnct]

𝑟𝑎𝑟𝑒 - 𝐿𝑒𝑒 𝐻𝑎𝑒𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑛

pairing: Haechan x reader

special guest: Mark, Jaemin

summary: You were always giving and giving, but you never received anything. Haechan stopped showing you how much he loved you and cared for you, but you never stopped caring for him and loving him. You were always there whenever he needed you. You did everything you could to make him happy. You let him use you but when you had enough and broke up with him, he realized that his biggest mistake was letting someone like you go. You were one in a million and he lost you.

song: rare - Selena Gomez

genre: breakup!au, college!au, angst

warnings: mention of sex, alcohol consumption, swearing

word count: 5,5k

A/N: this is the second short story of my series! I hope you enjoy and I recommend you to listen to rare by Selena Gomeu while reading :)) This is pure ficition!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Baby

You've been so distant from me lately And lately Don't even want to call you baby

“Baby?”

No answer.

“Haechan?”

Still, no answer.

“Lee Donghyuck!” you said a little louder this time.

“What the fuck? Why are you yelling at me?” he said, still staring at his phone.

“I didn’t yell.” You mumbled, “Can you like, stop staring at your phone and hang out with me? We didn’t see each other for a week.”

“Haechan?”

“Hm? What did you say?” he didn’t listen, but he looked at you for a second.

“I said I’m leaving, it’s late.” You lied but you really wanted to leave right now. What was the point of hanging out together when he didn’t even look at you or listen to you. Haechan and his phone couldn’t be separated. He was trying to beat his last high score like he always did when you hung out.

“Okay baby.” And he stood up from the couch and pressed the button on his computer.

Was he waiting for you to leave so he could play video games? He didn’t even kiss you goodbye.

When you arrived at your dorm, you thought of things you could have done wrong and you couldn’t really think of one thing. Did he stop loving you? Were you not sexy enough anymore? Did he get sick of you?

You had sleepless nights thinking of your relationship with Haechan. You’d do anything for him, you love him. You’d change for him, be a better girlfriend. You’d even change your appearance If he wanted you to.

Even though you were busy with college, you tried to make as much time as you could for Haechan. He was actually the clingy one in your relationship and at the beginning, he was showering you with so much love and you did the same. One day, he stopped showing you all of his love and you only felt the distance between you two.

You had feelings too and they were hurt.

Saw us getting older Burning toast in the toaster My ambitions were too high Waiting up for you upstairs Why you act like I'm not there? Baby, right now it feels like

You were at a frat party, your boyfriend was a frat boy after all and there was always a party on Saturday nights. You were hanging out with your friends and Haechan was greeting everyone and drinking with his friends. The party was fun for two maybe three hours, but you got bored and you just wanted to spend some time with your boyfriend, maybe even have sex with him, if he was in the mood. It’s been so long since Haechan touched you, you can’t even remember the last time he was over at your dorm.

You’re a little tipsy and you missed your boyfriend. You looked for him and when you found him, sitting on the couch with some of his friends, you walked up to him and sat on his lap. “Haechannie, I’m bored.” You started kissing his cheeks. God, you loved his cheeks.

“Babe- come on, I was in the middle of a conversation.” He tried to push you slightly away.

“I don’t care- I missed you.” You kissed his jaw and started sucking his neck. Haechan’s hand travelled from your arms to your hips. “N-Not here, Y/n.” he said but you knew that he was enjoying it, so you kept on sucking and kissing his neck.

“Can we fuck?” you whispered to him, hands going up and down his chest.

Haechan looked at you, eyes big and mouth slightly open. You never talked like that, you were actually a little shy whenever you talked about having sex, this was new.

“Wait for me upstairs, in my room. Okay baby? I’ll be there in a second.”

You smiled brightly. You were so happy that he still wanted to sleep with you, that he wasn’t disgusted or sick of you. You nodded in excitement and walked up the stairs to his room.

You checked yourself in the mirror and you looked pretty. Well, you hoped you did. A hour later, you almost fell asleep on his bed. He was still not there, and you started to get worried. Why did he take so long?

You decided to go downstairs and look for him. Maybe he was still talking to some of his friends who didn’t let him go or maybe he was busy cleaning the kitchen.

You were wrong.

He was doing body shots with a random girl.

You watched how he licked the space above her breasts and then he almost touched her lips while taking the lemon in his mouth. Everyone was cheering on him and hyping him up, as if he did something great. You were waiting for him and there he was, having fun without you but with random girls.

You had enough. You left the party and locked yourself in your dorm for the next couple days, and yeah, Haechan didn’t bother to text you or ask you where you went or if you arrived home safely. Hell, he didn’t even know if you were still alive or not.

It feels like you don't care Oh, why don't you recognize I'm so rare? Always there You don't do the same for me That's not fair

Four days. It took Haechan four days to knock on your dorm door. When you opened your door, you didn’t expect him to be crying. Did he finally realize how bad he treated you?

“M-My dad… My dad is in the hospital.” His eyes were red, lips trembling, and pain was written all over his face.

No matter how much you wanted to yell at him for taking so long to come to you, you couldn’t hurt him more than he already was.

You stepped to the side and let him enter. When you closed the door, he hugged you like two years ago, when you started dating. He hugged you like a big teddy bear and you hugged him back, as tightly as you could because you were scared that he’d go away.

“Tell me what happened.” You whispered to him after he calmed down a little bit.

“My mom c-called me and she told me that he had a heart attack a-and that his condition is critical… fuck.” He started sobbing again, holding onto you tightly as he cried and cried. You patted his back and told him that everything’s going to be alright.

“Do you want me to drive you there?” you asked him after a couple minutes. You had a car and your driver license and Haechan was still trying to get his driver license, but he never studied and always failed.

“B-But it would take us two hours to get there and two hours back…” he looked at you with puppy eyes.

“Haechan, we’re talking about your dad, it doesn’t matter. You should be with you family, your mother needs you right now.” You assured him that it was alright.

“Okay, okay. You’re right, we should- we should go, right? Right. Let’s go.” He rambled.

You finally arrived at the hospital and fortunately, his dad’s condition got better, and he was finally awake. You’ve met his parents for a couple times already and they loved you and you loved them. They were always so nice and kind to you.

Haechan hugged his mother tightly and kissed her forehead. His mother was a strong woman, she tried her best to smile as she saw her son and you.

“He’s awake now. You can see him if you want to.” She told her son, and he entered his room without thinking about it.

His mother hugged you and thanked you for bringing him all the way there. She also thanked you for taking so much care of Haechan. “I know that he can be a handful sometimes, but you take so much care of him. I can sleep at nights and don’t have to worry, because I know that he has you.” You smiled at her, tears about to fall, but you didn’t want to cry in front of her or Haechan.

You pushed all the anger you had for Haechan away, like you always did, and maybe, maybe he’d change after tonight.

After your visit at the hospital, Haechan could finally breathe again. He was so worried but now his heart was calm, he saw his dad and his dad assured him that he was alright, that was all that Haechan needed to hear.

You parked in front of Haechan’s frat house.

“Are you feeling better?” you asked him softly. You looked to your left and it didn’t surprise you to see him playing with his phone.

“Haechan? We’re here.” Your voice was about to break, you needed to go home, you needed to cry and ask yourself what you did wrong this time.

“What? Oh, yeah right. Thank you, baby.” He kissed your cheek and left the car without looking back at you.

You should’ve known.

Two weeks after that day, you were a little distant and it seemed like Haechan wasn’t aware or he simply didn’t care. You hung out with your mutual friends but kind of ignored him like he ignored you. You didn’t want the others to be suspicious, so you kissed him on the cheek when he stood next to you. He didn’t bother to look up or kiss you back.

It was finally Christmas break. You were staying at your dorm and you decided to spend the 24th with Haechan because he told you he’d also stay a little longer in college and spend the 25th and the 26th with his family. You’d also visit your family on the 25th.

You were watching a show while you were waiting for Haechan. He promised you he’d be there, he was two hours late though.

It was almost midnight and still, no Haechan. You turned everything off and went to the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Suddenly a loud sound startled you. You could hear footsteps and you grabbed your phone as fast as you could and closed the light in your bathroom, your door was closed already. You could hear two voices talking about your stuff.

You were about to get robbed and you called the police as fast as you could. Your heart was beating against your chest and you didn’t care about your stuff, you just wanted to get out of your room and be safe.

You were in the bathtub, silently praying that they’d leave.

Haechan didn’t answer your texts, but Mark did. Mark was your first friend in college, and you were pretty close. He was also in the same group of friends. Mark, Haechan and Jaemin always played overwatch together and you thought that they could be playing again because Haechan played overwatch non-stop since Christmas break started. You knew that Mark was also staying in his dorm over Christmas, so you texted him.

You: Hey, do you know where Haechan is?

Mark: we were playing overwatch

Mark: I got bored, but he told me that he’d play a little longer.

You: Mark can I call you?

Mark: yeah Of course

“M-Mark. Somebody broke in.” You whispered.

“Oh my god, did you call the police? I’m coming don’t move and don’t make a sound okay, don’t worry okay, I’m on my way.” Mark rambled.

“I’m scared. I’m hiding in my b-bathroom and I did call the police, but I don’t know how long they’ll take, it’s Christmas after all a-and fuck I don’t know what to do.” You cried into the phone.  

The next thing you could hear was someone entering your dorm and the robbers yelling and trying to fight against the person. “You’re arrested! Hands behind your back!”

The police arrived right on time.

“Y/n? I can see the police, I’m right in front of your dorm.” Mark said.

The bathroom door was opened by an officer and he opened the lights and saw you curled up in the bathtub.

“Are you Y/l/n Y/n?”

You nodded slowly.

You left the bathroom and saw Mark standing at the door. “They wouldn’t let me in. Are you alright?” he asked you.

“Y-Yeah thank you. I’m fine.”

“Unfortunately, it’s common that student dorms get robbed at Christmas. They think that all of the students leave and try to rob them but luckily you called us right on time and we could get them. Do you need to go to a hospital?” the officer asked you kindly.

“No thanks, I’m alright. Thank you.”

“Of course. The janitor will take care of the door, but you need to sleep somewhere else tonight.” And then he left. The robbers literally destroyed your door.

Mark could finally enter your dorm and you jumped into his arms.

“I was so scared.” You sobbed into his chest and he didn’t mind. He stroked your hair and helped you calm down.

“I know. It’s over now, I’m here.”

And for the first time since forever, you felt safe in someone’s arms.

“Where the hell am I supposed to stay now?”

Mark didn’t ask you about Haechan. It was obvious that he ditched you again and he didn’t think twice when he asked you, “Stay with me.”

You looked up. “I-I mean you can have my bed I’ll sleep on the couch, you know. I don’t think that there’s someone else in this building.” He rambled and it was kind of cute.

“A-Are you sure?”

“Yeah of course.” He smiled at you.

That is how you found yourself in Mark’s bed.

You couldn’t sleep and after almost an hour you talked, “Mark?” you whispered, not quite sure if he’s still awake. Your phone died and you didn’t see the texts Haechan had sent you. The last thing on your mind right now was charging your phone.

“Yeah?”

“Can you, uhm, can you sleep next to me? Please?” you asked nervously.

“Do you really want me to?”

“Yeah please, I’m scared.”

Mark walked up to you and you moved to the side to make space for him. You were laying next to each other under the covers and your hands slightly brushed.

“Can you hold me?” you whispered.

“Okay.” Mark was nervous as he opened his arms to welcome you. He was warm and cozy, you felt safe in his arms and you started crying because not even your boyfriend made you feel this safe.

“It’s okay. I’m here.” He stroked your hair as you cried in his arms.

When you woke up the next morning, you watched Mark sleeping. He looked handsome and cute at the same time and when he turned to you, his face was so close to yours.

Mark slowly opened his eyes and looked at you. “Good morning. How are you feeling?” he asked you with his morning voice.

“Good. I guess.”

“Do you want some toast? I’m sorry, I suck at cooking eggs, I can only make toast and cereal.”

You smiled, “I’ll take the toast.”

After breakfast you charged your phone, and you didn’t expect so many texts and missed calls from Haechan. He also left a couple voice mails.

“Hey baby, I’m sorry, I’m on my way. I hope you’re still awake.”

“Baby please answer my texts why the fuck is the police in front of your dorm?”

“Y/n the police told me that you almost got robbed where the hell are you?”

“Please text me.”

“I can’t sleep without knowing you’re safe, please call me.”

You let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Mark thank you so much, I have to go check my dorm. Can I call you later?” you were also going to talk to Haechan.

“Sure. Do you want me to go with you?” he asked.

“No it’s alright. Thank you. For everything.” You smiled and hugged him. He was surprised and you were also really surprised but he hugged you back.

I don't have it all I'm not claiming to But I know that I'm special Yeah And I'll bet there's somebody else out there To tell me I'm rare To make me feel rare

You knocked on Haechan’s door and the first thing he did was to hug you tightly, but you didn’t hug him back.

“Oh god baby, where the hell were you?! I was so worried, the police couldn’t tell me where you went.”

“We need to talk.” You said coldly.

“Come in baby, it’s freezing outside.”

“No. I just have to tell you something and then I’m going to leave.”

Haechan looked at you curiously, “Okay, babe. But why didn’t you call me I was so worried-“

“Worried my ass!” you yelled, “That’s fucking bullshit! I called you! I called you thousand times and you never answered!”

“Baby, I was busy-“

“Fuck you! You weren’t busy! You were playing video games all day long don’t fucking lie to me! I waited for you! It’s Christmas and you left me alone!” you were furious.

“Yeah, I lost track of time baby, I’m sorry.” He tried to hug you again, but you stepped back. “I want to break up.” You said, letting your tears finally free.

“What? Baby, no. What are you talking about?”

“Don’t call me that! I can’t do this anymore, I just… I can’t-“ you sobbed. Haechan couldn’t realize what was happening.

“I love you baby and you love me? There’s no problem in our relationship-“

“No problem?” you laughed mockingly, “I don’t think that you love me, because no boyfriend acts like you do. You never want to spend time with me, you always push me away and you don’t kiss me, touch me, or say that you love me and that’s not even the worst part! You left me hanging so many times, I can’t even remember the last time you were there for me! I almost got fucking robbed and I needed my boyfriend, but you left me hanging, again! I was there for you when your father was in the hospital. You left me hanging at that party for some girls and fucking body shots! I was waiting for you, but you never came! You were busy licking some girl’s tits you didn’t even care about me! You didn’t ask me where I was or if I was safe! You don’t worry about me, you just don’t care about me and that’s not my fucking fault! It is all your fault! I’m giving my everything in this useless relationship and you don’t even ask me how I’m doing because you’re selfish! You are so selfish, and I can’t keep doing that…” your voice broke at the end and you didn’t look up from your feet.

Haechan gulped hard, he never knew you felt this way. “I-“

“No. Don’t say anything. There’s nothing you could do or say to change my mind or make me feel less of myself, because that’s what I always felt. I always doubt myself. Did I do something wrong? Did I gain weight? Is he sick of me? Am I not sexy enough? What the fuck are you doing wrong Y/n?!”

Haechan was crying, you could hear him crying and your heart clenched.

“But you know what? I never did anything wrong. I loved you more than I loved myself and I don’t want that. Goodbye Haechan, here are your things. You can keep my stuff or just throw it away. I don’t care. Oh and one last thing. I stayed over at Mark’s dorm. He answered his phone the second I called him, and he was there for me. The whole night. I was so scared, still am, and he was there. You weren’t.”

And then you turned around and left him standing there. Haechan didn’t know what to do as he watched you walk away.

Baby Don't make me count up all the reasons To stay with you No reason Why you and I are not succeeding

It’s been a week since your breakup and you still saw Haechan on campus or with your mutual friends. He looked… well, he looked devastated. He looked like he was really suffering but it was over.

You felt his eyes on you, but you never looked his way. You ignored his presence and it felt good to be yourself and not to worry about your relationship with Haechan next to your friends. They knew that you weren’t dating anymore, and they never spoke about it.

You were hanging out with Mark more and more. You got closer than before and he never left your side and you never left his. You felt safe and happy whenever you were with him.

One day, Haechan blew your phone with drunk texts. Maybe you should’ve blocked his number, but you didn’t think that he would drunk text you.

Haechan: miss your

Haechan: rlly missing u babr

Haechan: are you misng me tooo!

Haechan: I didn’t meean to yell srry

Haechan: lve u so much please come back to me

You massaged your temples, you had enough.

You called him and his heart was jumping, he was so happy.

“Baby, thank you for uhm, what was I gonna say? Oh yeah! Calling me. Thank you I love you.” He said.

“You need to stop texting me Haechan. Where are you? Are you alone?” you were still worried.

“In my room, all alone. Need you here with me. I- I want to cuddle, please?”

“I’m hanging up-“

“No! please, babe. Love me, please love me. I need you, love me please baby.” He cried.

“Haechan there are thousand reasons why we shouldn’t be together, and you know it. Drink some water or a coffee and stop texting me or I’ll have to block you.” And then you hung up.

Haechan knew that you were right, he still missed you and wanted you back. He was still selfish.

I don't have it all I'm not claiming to But I know that I'm special Yeah And I'll bet there's somebody else out there To tell me I'm rare To make me feel rare

“A date. You and me, I mean. Or? Wait shit, let me ask you again. Do you want to go on a date with me? Please?”

You giggled, “Yeah, I’d love to go on a date with you Mark.”

“Oh good, I was so scared you’d say no.” Mark put his hand on his chest, his heart was beating really fast.

Three months after your breakup, Mark finally asked you out. You hoped he would because you really, really, liked him. You’ve spent all your time with him, and he never ignored you or got sick of you like Haechan did.

You were still scared though, what if he was going to be like Haechan after a couple months of dating? Mark would never, even as a friend he cared for you and was worried about you. More than Haechan ever did.

“D-Do I uhm, Do I have to wait until the date is over to k-kiss you or can I k-kiss you now? Y-You know, I really want to kiss you.” He muttered and looked away shyly.

“You can kiss me now.” You smiled, also really shy.

“Okay, I’m going to do it now,” he bent down a little, “Here comes the airplane.” And you wheezed. You were laughing so hard, you almost cried. “Fuck I don’t know why I said that.” Mark’s face was the darkest shade of red.

“You’re so adorable Mark.” And without giving him time to say something back, you pulled him close and pressed your lips on his. He kissed you back, hands on your hips and eyes closed. The kiss was heavenly.

You slowly pulled away. “God, I think I’m fucking in love with you.” He breathed out. “Y-You are in love with me?” you asked shyly.

“Yeah, oh shit, we didn’t even get on first date level and my stupid ass told you that. D-do you still want to go to that date with me? Or did I scare you away?” he said worriedly.

“Mark, it’s fine. I’m really, like, really happy right now. I just need a little time to say that back. Is that okay?” you knew that you liked Mark, maybe it was more than like, but you didn’t want to rush things.

“God, you’re so perfect. So beautiful, kind, cute, funny, and so much more. The prettiest girl I’ve ever met. I’m sorry my vocabulary is always just this big whenever I’m with you. You make me feel dizzy, but the good kind of dizzy. I’m just going to say it one more time and then I’ll say it when you’re ready, but fuck, I love you.” Mark rambled again and that was one of the things you loved about him.

Mark made you feel special. He made you feel loved and important. You felt like the prettiest girl on the planet and you were never happier.

I'm not gonna beg for you I'm not gonna let you make me cry Not getting enough from you Didn't you know I'm hard to find?

Haechan felt like everything was getting worse. Every passing day, he missed you more and more. You were on his mind 24/7 and he was in so much pain. He realized that he didn’t value you, that he didn’t care about the future and that he didn’t love you like he should. After spending so much time with you, he drifted away, and he regrets thinking that it would be okay. That you’d still stay with him and care for him. Haechan was talking to his mother and she was asking him about you, one day or another, he had to tell her what happened.

“W-We broke up mom.” His heart clenched whenever he said those words.

“What? But everything seemed fine honey? What happened?”

“I-I messed up, mom. I’m sorry it’s my fault.” Haechan tried to hide his sobs. “Mom, it hurts so much but she was also hurt. I hurt her and then she left me. I don’t know what to do mom, I- I lost her, mom.”

For the first time, there was nothing she could do.

“Try to talk to her again maybe-“

“No, mom. It’s to late. She was the one mom. She was the one, but I pushed her away.”

“Everything’s going to be alright.” His mother told him, but for the first time, he didn’t believe those words.

After the call, Haechan kept crying.

“Yo Haechan- dude, are you fucking crying?” his frat brother Jaemin entered his room.

“Why didn’t you fucking knock?!” Haechan hid his face in his pillow. “Why are you crying?” Jaemin asked again, “Is it still because of Y/n?”

“Of course you dumbass.” Haechan mumbled into his pillow.

“Dude come on. It’s been 4 months already. Move on. There’s this party tonight- there are going to be hundredth Y/n’s.”

Haechan looked up. “There’s no one like her. She’s one in a million, she’s a fucking diamond in a see of stones- she’s everyone’s dream girl, she’s so perfect and so rare. I’ve never met someone like her. I can’t just get someone else.”

“Oh shit, well, so you don’t know about her and Mark?”

“What do you mean? Her and Mark?”

“I think it’s important that you know this. It’ll help you move on. As far as I know she’s dating Mark.”

Haechan’s heart stopped beating. He knew that you grew closer, but dating?

“No way.”

“I’m sorry. But you have to move on, come to the party with us.” Jaemin said.

“Fucking fine.”

It feels like you don't care Why don't you recognize I'm so rare? I'm always there You don't do the same for me That's Not Fair

Haechan looked around and his heart stopped beating the second he saw you on Mark’s lap. His arms around you and your head in the crook of his neck. You were laughing at something, Haechan couldn’t really hear anything, the loud music and the big crowd suffocated him.

You looked gorgeous, like always. It’s been months since he saw you smile like that.

Mark’s hand was going up and down your thigh and Haechan had to look away, it hurt him seeing someone else touch you. It hurt him how happy you looked with him and that you moved on. He couldn’t blame you or Mark. It wasn’t hard to fall for you, you were an amazing person with a lovely personality, everyone loved you and wanted to be friends with you.  

Haechan turned around and was about to leave but Jaemin pulled him to the kitchen. “Shots!” Haechan was definitely not in the mood to drink or party, he preferred hugging his pillow and crying.

“Come on, man! Have some fun!”

Haechan sighed, he took the shot and then another and then another and not long after, he was drunk. Drinking on an empty stomach was a big mistake and coming to this party even a bigger one.

He was trying to fight the urge to walk up to you and just hug and kiss you. You weren’t dating anymore, he couldn’t do that, no matter how much he wanted to. But when he saw you and Mark kissing on the porch of the house, he lost it.

“Y/n?”

You and Mark stopped kissing and looked to the direction the voice was coming from.

Haechan looked at you helpless and lost. “C-Can we talk? Just for a second. Please.”

You looked at Mark and he smiled, “Do you want to talk to him?” he asked. “Maybe I should. Yeah, I’ll talk to him If that’s alright with you?”

You felt bad that you hadn’t let Haechan talk when you broke up with him.

“Sure. I’ll be waiting for you inside. Text me and then we can go home?” you nodded and pecked his cheek. Haechan looked away.

Mark left you and Haechan alone, he knew that sooner or later you had to talk to him again. Even if they weren’t close, he knew that everyone would fight to get you back. And Mark trusted you, he really did.

You were waiting for Haechan to talk, but he only stared at you and you felt slightly uncomfortable. “Are you, uhm, going to say something?” you said after a couple seconds.

“Huh? Oh yeah, right.” He stepped closer, but not too close. “You look really pretty tonight.”

“Haechan, please, just- what did you want to talk about? I have nothing to say to you.” You crossed your arms. “I’m sorry, I-I… it’s been so long since I talked to you, I can’t find the right words.”

His hands were sweating, and his voice was trembling. “Look, I… I really missed you and I know that you are happy with… him, and I’m not trying to take that away from you because I love you so much and I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy more than anyone else. You sacrificed your happiness for me, and I hate myself that I used you like that. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t mean to hurt you and use you. You loved me like no one else did and I wasn’t able to love you like you deserved. I’m a stupid little boy. I regret it. So much. You have no idea how much I want to turn back time and start all over again and do things right, but I know that it’s impossible. I’m sorry that I was never there for you like you were for me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when you were getting robbed- or any other time you were alone and scared. I-I can’t believe I lost a girl like you. I can’t believe that I fucking l-lost you- I love you I’m so sorry-“ he started sobbing and you couldn’t stop your tears from falling.

You could see the pain in his eyes and that he was sad, but there was nothing you could do.

“H-Haechan I’m so-“

“No! Don’t say you’re sorry- please. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all my fault, p-please don’t say s-sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

You didn’t know If you should hug him but seeing him like this really hurt you. You still cared for him, and you hated seeing him cry because of you.

“I just wanted you to know, that I am sorry. Y-You can go back to Mark now. I hope he values you and knows how rare you are.” He turned around and was about to leave, but you held his wrist.

“Haechan-“

“No, please. I feel a little better now. I really do,” He turned to you and softly gripped your wrist and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I love you.”

And that was the last time you talked to Lee Donghyuck. Your first love, your first boyfriend and your first heartbreak.

I don't have it all I'm not claiming to I know that I'm special Yeah And I'll bet there's somebody else out there To tell me I'm rare To make me feel rare

So rare