#but the intro monologue to this performance

[coconut530]

[posarmeklen]

You're laughing. Two humanoid pigs wearing spacesuits for an undetermined reason put out his cigarette and broke his beer with their hooves, and you're laughing.

[marcelloshdz]

double duty

summary: when you're asked to host and perform on saturday night live, you and marcello hit it off quite well. marcello x female!singer host. requested by anonymous.

“i’m so excited to be here!” you cheered as you walked through the hallways of NBC studios. you were pulling double duty on saturday night live this week, and you were absolutely over the moon. you’d been a fan of the show for as long as you could remember, and this was quickly becoming a “pinch me” moment. you were walking with some of the producers and writers on the show, getting a little tour of the studios. the writers had already pitched you some amazing sketch ideas, and you couldn’t wait to work on them and see what ended up in the final show.

the week quickly became very busy, but you were also making sure to take the time to soak it all in and truly enjoy your time there. you were having so much fun working through the sketches and meeting and making friends with the cast. you were a huge fan of the current cast, and you couldn’t believe that you were getting to work with them.

it was wednesday afternoon, and everyone had just settled into their seats for the table read. as you made your way through the scripts, your cheeks were hurting from laughing. everyone had written such incredible sketches, and you couldn’t believe that you were getting to be part of them.

the first hour passed by, and you’d made your way to a sketch that you were in with marcello hernández, playing a couple. admittedly, you’d been a bit nervous about working with him, as you’d become a fan of his (and developed a bit of a crush) in the three years he’d been on the show. you sat at opposite ends of the table as you read through the script, stifling laughs and playing off of each other very well. you looked around the table as the cast was laughing through the sketch as you and marcello and the other cast members that were part of the sketch read through the script. once you reached the end, the two of you exchanged the briefest of glances, and he shot you a soft smile. you smiled back, feeling your face flush as you moved to the next sketch. 

the rest of the week flew by, and it was finally show day. you’d been hanging around the studio all day running through the scripts a few more times before rehearsals. you’d also been rehearsing your songs, settling on your set designs and costumes. you were performing your two most recent singles, ahead of your album release coming within the next couple of weeks. 

you finished rehearsal of your first song, ready to take a break as they ran through weekend update. as you left the stage, you ran into marcello. he shot you a wide smile as he continued walking up to you.

“hey!” you said with a smile.

“hi. i liked your song.” he said softly.

“thanks.” you said awkwardly, standing there in a brief silence before he spoke again.

“so, i just wanted to let you know that our sketch got moved. we’re gonna be the first one back after update, instead of going before. that’ll give you more time to get ready before your first performance.” he said. 

“get ready, calm my nerves, all the same.” you joked.

“nah, you’ll be great.” marcello reassured you. you smiled again, whispering a small thanks before you had to move to rehearsal for the next sketch. 

before you knew it, it was finally time for the show. you stood backstage watching the cold open before moving behind the famous door. your heart raced in your chest as the announcer read through the names of the cast members during the intro sequence, followed by your name as host and musical guest. 

“ladies and gentlemen, y/n!” rang through the speakers. you pushed through the door and down the stairs, taking your place at the edge of the stage. you smiled wide, waving at the audience and taking in all the cheers. 

“wow, wow, wow. thank you very much. my name is y/n, and i am so grateful to be here hosting saturday night live!” you began your monologue, hitting all the jokes in the right places, and getting amazing laughs from the audience.

you ran through the first few sketches, getting many words of affirmation backstage from the cast and crew between set changes and commercial breaks. before you knew it, it was time for your first performance. 

“ladies and gentlemen, y/n.” you’d brought a close friend of yours to new york with you for this week, and the producers were kind enough to let them introduce your first song. 

you made it through your first song without a hitch, taking in all the applause that erupted around you. you were then rushed backstage, and allowed to take some time to take a break during the commercials and while weekend update was on. you met up with marcello for another quick little run through of your sketch before it was time to go back on stage. 

the premise of the sketch was you bringing him over to meet your friends for the first time, and him making a weird first impression. basically, a different version of his now-famous “protective mom” sketches with pedro pascal. hearing him calling you his girlfriend gave you butterflies in your stomach. way more than you’d like, but you’d never admit that out loud.

heidi gardner, ego nwodim, and bowen yang were also in the sketch, playing your friends, and taking the sketch to new heights. the jokes were getting laugh after laugh from the audience. you and the other cast members were even having trouble keeping it together. 

once the sketch finally concluded, you took in as much of the applause that you could before being rushed off the stage to get back and change for your next performance. just as you were stepping out of your dressing room, marcello found you and pulled you into a tight hug.

“you killed it! thanks for doing the sketch with me.” he said excitedly.

“thanks for trusting me! i know you had a heavy hand in writing it, and i’m glad it was picked for my episode.” you pulled away from him, giving him a wide smile before being whisked off to your spot on the performance stage to get ready for your next song. 

they began counting down from the commercial break, and you took a couple deep breaths before they came back. 

“once again, y/n.” you heard marcello’s voice announce from the main stage. your heart fluttered in your chest at the way your name sounded in his voice.

you finished your second song, and the episode began to wrap up. once it was over, everyone gathered on the main stage for good nights. you said your thank yous to the cast and crew, thanking everyone who came in for cameo appearances, and wishing everyone a good night. 

later that night, marcello found you at the after party. you both already had a couple of drinks in you, and had loosened up after a stressful week.

“hello again.” you said, sitting up on the barstool and giving him your full attention. 

“hey. i just wanted to congratulate you on a successful week. when you were confirmed for host, i gotta admit, i was really excited.” he said. 

“oh yeah?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him. he laughed and nodded. 

“ooooh yeah. i’ve been listening to your music for a while. my sister is a fan, and she’s played a lot of your songs for me a few times.”

“mmm, she’s smart.” you laughed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be introducing my second song. that was a nice surprise.” you said, marcello taking a step closer to you.

“i’m glad you thought so. i asked specifically if i could do it.” he said with a smirk.

“wow, aren’t i special?” you asked, reciprocating his smirk. you sat up further on your barstool as marcello continued to close the space between you.

“very.” he said softly, fingertips drumming along your thigh. “so, i never do this, but,” he took a deep breath, “would you maybe wanna hang out some time? outside of all of this.” he said.

“sure. i’d like that. i’ll be in new york for a few more days before heading back to LA, so we could get together before i leave.” you said, nodding excitedly. you exchanged numbers and made your plans.

“we’re heading into an off week, so i have all the time in the world.” he said with a smile. 

you and marcello spent the rest of the night together, talking and getting to know each other. it could’ve been mostly the alcohol, but you were so comfortable with him.  you enjoyed being around him, and you loved talking and laughing with him. 

at the end of the night, marcello walked you outside to your uber that was taking you back to your hotel. 

“thanks again for a great night, and a great week. i really enjoyed getting to work with you.” you said to him as you stood on the sidewalk. 

“and i you.” he said with a smile. just then. your uber pulled up and he opened the door for you to get in. “text me when you get to your hotel.”

“i will.” you said. before climbing into the car, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, his face immediately turning a bright crimson. “see you later.” 

you watched from the window as marcello stood on the sidewalk, smiling and waving as your uber drove off. you let out a sigh of content, still not believing that tonight was even real, and that you’d already made plans to see each other again.

you turned to your friend, who raised an eyebrow at you.

“what are you smiling like that for?” they asked.

“just over the moon about tonight.” you said, evading a direct answer.

your uber ride was quiet as you rode back to the hotel. once you were finally back in your room, you took your phone out and text marcello to let him know that you were back at your hotel. he immediately replied, telling you that he couldn’t wait to see you again, and he wished you a good night.

you wished him a good night as well and got ready for bed. you slept peacefully that night, excited that you were going to see marcello again in just a few days. 

[earlgreytea68]

LOOK AWAY IF YOU DON'T WANT SO MUCH FOR (TOUR) DUST SPOILERS, OKAY?

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Set list:

(1) That Pink Seashell spoken word thing actually opens the show

(2) Love from the Other Side: I assumed they'd play this first, and they did, and they looked very happy with the reception that it got

(3) The Phoenix

(4) Sugar, We're Goin Down: I overheard two guys when I was leaving saying, "I only came to this show for that Sugar song, and it was the third song they played," whatever to those two guys lol

(5) Uma Thurman

(6) A Litttle Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me

(7) Chicago Is So Two Years Ago: I know they always play this song when they play Chicago but the way the show is set up, there's this spoken intro that references a light being left on in Chicago, and then they launch into this song, and so I feel like maybe it's permanently in the set list for this tour, we'll see.

(8) Grand Theft Autumn: Patrick told the story again of how he wrote the lyrics while jogging with Pete. Here is exactly what he said, because I recorded it, hahaha: "I wrote this song out here, jogging, trying to figure out the words. This was back when I wrote a lot of the words. And Pete was jogging with me and he was like, 'Eh, maybe change this, maybe change this.' Before we knew it he was writing all the lyrics." And then Pete said, "Imagine us jogging" lolololol

(9) Calm Before the Storm

(10) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race: They added a little Peterick-y moment in here? I don't remember them playing at each other during this song in previous performances? It was cute, it was during the instrumental part before Patrick leads the singalong, maybe I've just always missed it? They played it each other and kind of did some kind of kick thing with their legs??

(11) Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes: Honestly, always a delight to hear this song, this is one of my favorites <3

(12) Heaven, Iowa: THIS SONG LIVE, I SWEAR

(13) "The Take Over, the Breaks Over": OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG AND I TOTALLY DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO PLAY IT, I WAS SO HAPPY

(14) Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet: <3 Guess they got over being scared of playing this one lol

(15) Fake Out: I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED I WAS THAT THEY PLAYED THIS ONE OMGGGGGGG. Also, there was some plan I wasn't aware of to, like, hold up cell phones with pink paper over the lights so the crowd lit up pink???? I have no idea who engineered that but it was CHARMING and at the end of the song Pete said, "Thanks for that, guys, that was beautiful," and the stage was on darkness so it seemed absolutely spontaneous on his part and I think they really did like the effect, so, Idk, future shows, keep doing it????

(16) Patrick did some kind of piano interlude where he played "Don't Stop Believin'"????? It was random but he was super charming, I think the rest of the band used it as a break, it was just SO GREAT. Part of his intro was: "Pete was putting together this show and he said to me, 'Hey, you should play piano.' And I was like, 'I kinda only play songs I wrote. I don't really play piano. I don't know how to play piano.' And he's like, 'Eh, you'll figure it out.'" And then Patrick sat down and played gorgeous piano ugh THANKS, PETE.

(17) Last of the Real Ones: I am glad Mania got some love.

(18) Save Rock and Roll

(19) PETE RECITED BABY ANNIHILATION WHAT. I SWEAR TO GOD. I SO DID NOT EXPECT THIS AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT HAPPENED. If you're going to the show, pay attention, because I looked away and apparently there's, like, a magic trick at the end of the monologue where he disappears behind a piece of black silk?????

(20) Crazy Train cover: I...don't know what to say about this randomness hahaha but it happened??

(21) Dance Dance

(22) Hold Me Like a Grudge: I think Patrick adores singing this song, I really do.

(23) G.I.N.A.S.F.S.: I KNOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, EITHER.

(24) My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up)

(25) Thnks fr th Mmrs

(26) Centuries

(27) Saturday <3

The show ends with a little piano version of So Much (for) Stardust played over the sound system, so pay attention for that.

The set is super Alice in Wonderland-y and I adored it, it's playful and fantastical and has all these whimsical touches and interludes and I just thought it was delightful and at one point there were bubbles, and I heard some people complaining after the concert that the fantasy thing didn't suit their style of music and really, I was surrounded by downers after the concert, I thought they were perfect hahaha. Like, ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. They looked so, so, so tangibly happy, all of them. Patrick sounded fantastic and he looked like he was having a blast, he smiled the whole time.

I have a lot of videos but they seem like they're all pretty terrible, but I'll see how I feel in the morning lol

[riggedtrap]

jigsquad talent show program

1. billy tap dance intro (he’s wearing the bowler hat from saw 0.5)

2. amanda young steals government data

3. mark hoffman builds a miniature trap in record time

4. lawrence gordon performs the I ate the divorce papers monologue

5. logan nelson

[sokkastyles]

Hi,

Hope you are doing well. Thank you for the response on TSR. I have a question to ask on Aang.

During the practice that the Gaang has, where Aang is unable to go through with killing the practice model of Ozai because it goes against his values, and Sokka would later slice the watermelon with his sword to show how it could be done, I realized that Sokka seems to be frustrated.

I get that Aang was not going to kill Ozai, and I don't think Sokka wanted to kill him unless it was necessary, but was his frustration because of the fact that Aang is unwilling to even consider that he may have to kill Ozai, considering their best chance to stop Ozai in Day Of Black Sun was gone and now Aang will meet Ozai during Sozin's comet, where Ozai would get an extra boost. I can't help but feel that Sokka is also frustrated that Aang is bringing this up now, when the war which already has been going on for 100 years, is entering an even more dangerous phase, that could mean if Ozai isn't stopped, the Earth Nation would be gone.

I would like your thoughts on this.

Okay, I just rewatched that scene and the way it's framed is...super weird. As are all the scenes in the last few eps where Aang suddenly decides he can't do the thing the entire show has been building towards. Aang stops shortly before striking the "melon lord" and says he can't do it because he "didn't feel like himself," but...how many other times have we seen him perform moves exactly like this? Just because the show reassures us that nobody died those times, it's okay, I guess?

The thing is, the show %100 could have found a way for Aang to take out Ozai without killing him if they had wanted to. They didn't have to include this conflict where Aang gets to moralize to everyone around him, but it's so transparently done to make Aang seem morally superior. The cut away when Sokka cuts the melon in half with a cold "that's how it's done," the foreboding music, Aang's exaggerated horrified expression, and the shot of the sliced melon falling on the ground and Momo eating out of it is so weirdly grotesque, and it does Sokka a huge disservice by implying that he's bloodthirsty for wanting to see the war end. Remember Sokka in the intro, with that weary and defeated expression on his face, clinging to his sister while Katara monologued about her hope that the Avatar would return one day?

I'm sorry, I just don't buy the show's attempt to moralize about how victims of genocide are just as bad if they fight back. So if Sokka is angry, he certainly has a right to be.

[jakejizzka]

Forbidden - pt. 1

jake kiszka x reader

18+ NSFW

TW: drinking, cheating, slight dom vibe, unprotected sex

I have a lot of ideas for this series so I hope you guys like it!

summary: you go to a concert that turns into a night with you will never forget

You were nervous, you’ve never done anything like this before. It’s not a normal occurrence your favorite band would be playing in your city, so after considering your options of company you ultimately decided to go alone. You convince yourself it will be freeing, and a big step for you to do something like this alone. You were going to make Greta Van Fleet’s arena your bitch tonight.

You finish putting on your outfit, which consists of tight black jeans, a cropped low-cut lace black tank top, and a tattered cream linen button up opened with the ends shredded and sleeves rolled up. You put on your assortment of necklaces and golden hoop earrings. Finishing the look with your pit vipers with the word “JOSH” bedazzled across them in red gemstones.

The makeup you put on for this wasn’t your usual but this was your night to be creative, creating thick lines of black eyeliner and a dark red lipstick. After seeing pictures from their last show, you noticed all of them upping their make up game so you threw on some gold tears as well.

You throw on your ankle boots and grab your keys. Let’s do this.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You get to the venue and the nerves are trying to get the best of you, so you veer to the bathroom for some deep breaths alone in a stall. When you exit, another girl is there with black hair and two blue streaks in the front. She smiles and tells you she loves your Jake outfit. You smile and thank her and laugh as you walk out, not realizing you had done it so obviously. You knew Jake had a girlfriend, they all did actually. Except Josh, and that’s what initially drew you to him as your favorite. At least in your delusions, you could hypothetically stand a chance. You would never admit it, but Jake always seemed to catch your eye but part of you felt guilty…?

You make your way onto the floor and see it’s not as packed as you expected, but the front is definitely full. Making your way over you notice the girl from the bathroom at the barricade, and she waves at you. This was your way in, and you couldn’t thank this kind stranger enough. You scoot through the crowd playing up your friendship with this girl so maybe less people will silently hate you for pushing your way up.

After some small talk with your new acquaintance the arena goes quiet, and then we hear Reason’s For Waiting start echoing around. Suddenly all the nerves in your body have flew out through you into the atmosphere, this is the night you’ve been dreaming of and it’s happening.

Before you know it you hear Josh’s monologue start, and the lights are glowing behind the curtain, suddenly you see their shadows one by one entering the stage and a giant smile spreads across your face.

Then, the curtain dropped.

You were so close the stage lights made you feel like you were glowing, and you watch as the first song played trying to let your eyes adjust. The bass is moving through your chest and you’re screaming the lyrics song after song.

About halfway through you had fully acclimated to your surroundings. Josh is to your left slightly, you were standing on barricade between the middle and Jake’s side. When you decided to move on to take in the next of them, you look at Jake and you swear he was looking back. Deciding you were just wrapped up in the moment, your eyes dance back over to Josh and Danny and keep singing. After another two songs they start playing The Barbarians and the intro guitar solo is coming up, you pan over to Jake and he’s as close as he can get to the edge of the stage. You instinctively lean as far as you can to stare at this man perform magic in front of you. His guitar wails the first note, and he looks up right at you and you swear there’s a smirk on his face. Suddenly your entire body is on fire, the blush consuming your entire face seems to please him because he winks when Josh starts singing and slowly backs up back onto the stage.

You look around sure other people had to of seen what just happened, nobody is phased and you wonder if you’re letting the delusions win again per usual. As if he can read your thoughts, he reappears at the edge of the stage leaning down for the solo at the end of the song and he’s going even harder almost like he doesn’t want you to look away again.

The song comes to an end, with Jake cracking his hand down onto the guitar with a slap, and an apparently necessary glance at you. Your mind is spinning, the gaslighting you are doing to yourself right now is clinical because you know this can’t be real. You know Jake publicly has a long term girlfriend, and nobody else seems to have noticed so why does it feel like he’s making the guitar whine for you and only you right now?

The lights go down after the last song, and they all jog off stage before the encore. You take the few minutes of intermission to collect yourself and ground yourself back to reality, no more delusions. Continuing your chat with the girl next to you, no mention of Jake’s actions were mentioned so you are able to calm down a bit more laughing at yourself. Shots of fireball are being passed around barricade and you gratefully take one.

The crowd roars and you turn around to see the band taking the stage again in the dark. You smile over at your new friend in excitement. Waiting for the lights, security comes out to front the barricade and you see them holding set lists. You know that usually they have security pass these out to avoid any fights breaking out in the front, and you feel excited knowing you’re finally close enough at a show to possibly get one. A tall muscular security member walks over directly in front of you and suddenly you feel bodies pressing on you from all directions, the man reaches to pull your arm far out passed the barricade to ensure the set list goes into your hand specifically.

You smile at his kindness, and wonder what made him choose you but thank him regardless and hold it close to your chest scared of opening it surrounded by everyone. You tuck it into your bra, and grab back onto the rails waiting for lights to blast on.

The lights come on, and they’ve all assumed their positions again with grins. It warms your heart to see your favorite people enjoying their show so much, knowing this arena is filled with people cheering them on. You look to Josh as he’s talking into the microphone and you remember your sunglasses.

Taking them off you start swinging them around out past the rails hoping by some miracle he takes them for the encore. He sees you and shoots you a smile, but continues talking. The next thing you know, the same security guard is taking them from you to hand up and it feels like the floor is going to cave in below you or maybe you’ll float to the ceiling.

But then, you watch the glasses go up to Jake. He thanks the security guard, and looks at you then reads the glasses and rolls his eyes. He looks at you shakes his head and puts them on with a mischievous grin. You look up at him and feel heat flooding your cheeks. Then the song starts, and he’s gone again.

You are feeling a whirlwind of thoughts consume you, irrational, rational, it feels like your mind can’t keep up with the emotions coursing through your body right now. After this last interaction, it’s as if Jake is the only one on this stage. You can’t look away and he seems to know because he doesn’t give you anymore attention the rest of the night almost like he’s playing some game you don’t know about.

You stare on longing for one more glance, and finally you get it. Seconds before the lights cut again and they leave for good, he looks dead at you and gives you a big grin showing his teeth and his eyes were piercing into yours in a way that had you feeling like that fireball shot was actually 5.

Lights cut off, they leave and everyone starts shuffling away. Still stunned and shocked you stand there in a daze for apparently too long because security starts shooing people off the rails and you snap back into reality. Looking around it’s apparent your new friend was here with a group because everyone is gone, and you’re just slowly exiting trying to process what all just happened.

You get back to your car and start loading your bag into the back, and pull out a hoodie to throw on over your revealing top because it’s late now and the temperature has dropped. Sitting down, you crank the car and reach into your shirt and pull out your set list finally safe to look at. Smiling, you open it up and your jaw drops.

There’s a guitar pick taped int the middle of it with Jake’s name on it, and when you go to remove it, you see in small sneaky handwriting there’s a phone number underneath it. There’s no way this is….? Thinking you’re being pranked you grab your cell phone before taking off on the drive, and type in the number to text.

“Whoever this is, this isn’t funny. I don’t know what you think you saw but I don’t appreciate the mocking.”

There’s no immediate response so you close the screen, and throw it in the passenger seat starting your drive home.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You arrive home, and start your way upstairs to your apartment when you feel a buzzing in your pocket.

“If part of you didn’t think it might be me, then why’d you text this number hm?”

Suddenly you forget how to breathe, you almost drop your phone. This isn’t happening, this isn’t…..nope. No way. Not possible

“Prove it.”

You hurry up the stairs and before you even reach the top your phone buzzes again, twice.

“I’m going to try to not let this hurt my feelings, by the way.”

A picture of the JOSH sunglasses sitting on an unfamiliar table follows.

You feel goosebumps start all over your body, and a blush spreading across your cheeks. What….what do you even say? How is this…another buzz comes through.

“I trust you to not share this number with anyone, and in return maybe we can meet up for a little after party of our own?”

A gigantic smile takes over you and as you look down at your phone. You’re not crazy…all of those things really DID happen. He was just so smooth nobody else seemed to catch any of it.

You type back,

“Well…okay. Just tell me when and where. P.S.- Jealous about the glasses still?”

You walk into your apartment and sit your things down plopping onto the couch staring at the conversation waiting for the next message to come through in disbelief.

“Send me your address, and I will come bearing alcohol & gifts. P.S. Yes, very.”

Your better judgment says not to do this, but who else could have taken a picture like that of the glasses you know you made…this is actually happening and that reality is sinking in now.

You send him your address and say nothing else. Looking around your apartment you panic thinking about Jake Fucking Kiszka being in here. The blow off the nervous energy you start rearranging things, cleaning surfaces, lighting candles. You put on your favorite playlist at the moment, making sure it’s not one with any Greta Van Fleet so you don’t look corny as hell. It’s all coming together the best it will, when you hear three tiny knocks at your door.

You almost yelp in surprise and jump up, cautiously moving to the door. Looking out the peep hole you see a smug Jake Kiszka staring right into it. Holy. Fucking. Shit. His linen pants and black tee shirt are fit against his body perfectly, he has his hair pulled back and those god forsaken sunglasses.

Your hand is shaking and you unlock the door and crack it open and stare with your jaw open. He chuckles and slides his hand in the small opening you’ve allowed then says “So can I come in? Or are you trying to get me caught already?” he gestures to the openness of your parking lot with cars pulling in and out. You stare at his deep warm brown eyes for a moment getting lost.

You snap into reality and open the door all the way and just mumble “yeah sorry..um”. He walks in and sets the liquor he brought on your coffee table and then you see him take a deep breath before turning around to face you.

He stands a little awkwardly but still confident in your living room.

“So are you going to tell me your name now? Or just stand there with your mouth open because I can work with that too…up to you” He winks at you. It takes your brain a moment to catch up to the flirty joke.

“Oh um, yeah I’m y/n. Hi.” You try to keep your jaw attached to your face and act normal, softly laughing.

“I know you’re probably confused as fuck right now why Jake Kiszka is standing in your apartment right?” you nod in response to his statement. He looks at you for a moment, seeming hesitant then you see the hesitation fade in his eyes.

He smirks, “Well the bad news is I don’t have an explanation for you. Besides the fact I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night tonight. You really truly almost made me mess up a few of my solos, so thanks for that.” He rolls his eyes at you with a smile, almost seeming like he’s the nervous one now.

You start stuttering, “I thought……you have…..don’t you……you are..with..”

He cuts you off, pressing his finger to your mouth and moving in closer to you. He gets so close, you can smell him now and it makes you blush, it’s a mix of rum and a warm vanilla with sweat. He takes off his sunglasses finally, I mean it’s almost midnight for christ sakes anyway.

“I know you don’t owe me anything y/n, but please don’t make me think about it. About her. I need this, if you’ll allow me to have it…” He trails off and stares at you with warm amber colored eyes, and you can see there’s something in there you can’t place. Maybe it’s a hint of vulnerability. Whatever it is, it makes you let your guard down and smile at him.

“Okay so, I won’t ask too many questions I guess. What are we drinking?” You head to the kitchen to grab some glasses. On the way there your mind is spinning.

You hear a sigh of relief come from the living room and a quiet “I brought options since I don’t know you really…yet anyway” you sense the smile in his voice at the last two words.

You walk out with two glasses analyzing the options and your eyes widen at the vodka. “Oh great, my favorite. I actually don’t even like fireball you know…” You say with a smirk.

This gets a laugh out of him and the mood is lifted instantly, his laugh makes your heart flutter in your chest. His shoulders relax a bit and he gives you a soft smile. He pours you both your drinks and you go to sit on the couch, while he makes himself at home going through your vinyl collection. His hand stops on The Battle at Garden’s Gate, and he looks over at you with the dumbest grin and you roll your eyes.

Chuckling he makes his way over to you, and sits down beside you on the couch resting a hand on your thigh.

“Listen, y/n I know that you know…I have my girlfriend. But things just…..” he trails off “Things aren’t great…for me..right now…for us…and I just felt something watching you tonight I haven’t felt in awhile. I needed to see you to see if….you’d want to help me out with these…feelings..to see if you think I’m crazy or if you felt it too maybe.” He looks into your eyes hoping you understand his scattered thoughts, and you do.

You nod, and without much thought just vodka confidence you lean in to him and whisper in his ear “I’ll help you with any kind of feelings you need me to Jake”.

He visibly shivers at your breath going down his neck, and something in his eyes darkens. “Tell me at any point if you want me to stop or leave or anything and I will, okay?”

“Okay” you smile, knowing that’s the last thing that’s going to happen.

“Okay” he repeats biting his lip staring at yours. He leans in and presses his lips to yours and you can feel him melt against you.

You move your hand up his neck and reach back to the hair tie in his hair pulling it out letting his hair go. He smiles against the kiss when you do this, your new found confidence clearly impressing him.

With his hair down now, you run your hands up into it and give it a gentle tug wondering if he’ll notice. A small groan from his throat is his response, and he pushes his tongue against your lips begging to be let in. You lick his lips back, and soon your tongues are dancing in and out of each other’s mouths with heavy breaths.

You pull away, and look at him taking in his beautiful hair and beautiful face for a second and he raises and eyebrow at you. “I was going to see if you want to go to my bedroom?” you ask trying to hide your blushing.

“Oh, y/n that’s exactly why I came here darling” he grins at you and tucks your hair behind your ear. He stands up and reaches out for your hand in a dramatic Jake-esque instagram picture way that makes you roll your eyes into the back of your skull. You grab his hand and he starts laughing.

“Lead the way princess” he whispers.

You led him down the hallway to your bedroom and before you’ve even fully walked into the room your being pressed against the wall and he’s kissing you like his life depends on it. The darkness in his eyes is on full blast when you look at him, and his lips twitch up in the corner before diving into your neck covering it in kisses and bites.

Without realizing it you’re letting out whimpers with each bite, and it’s driving him insane. He growls when he says “Fuck you sound so pretty, darling” and that sends a full body shiver through you.

He lifts you off the wall onto his waist and carries you over to the bed laying you down carefully. He’s looking down at you like he hasn’t eaten in weeks, and you’re the only meal in sight. Slowly, he leans down over you and places another deep kiss on your lips.

He moves down beside your ear, and whispers “After tonight, you’re not going to be able to look at any of my brothers ever again, not the way you’ll look at me.”

A moan escapes out past your lips and it surprises you, sending a blush down your body. He smiles like a predator showing its teeth to its prey.

His hands are everywhere, he’s touching over your body frantically small groans coming from his chest the whole time, “God I needed this, you have no idea y/n”

You run a hand through his hair while he’s working his hand up your shirt, and you whisper “You can use me to meet your needs anytime, sir” and then the most heavenly reverberating moan comes from his mouth.

He starts undressing you as quickly as his hands let him, heavily breathing out “beautiful” and “unbelievable” and other praises the whole time. Once you’re fully naked, exposed to him, he stands up to undress himself and just stares at you with eyes full of wonder and lust. Once he’s completely naked you gasp, involuntarily, at just how truly beautiful this man is. He looks up through his hair smiling, before climbing back over you.

With him on top of you, you can feel his heartbeat racing and his pupils are blown wide open. You see how much he needs this so you ask, “Could you lay down for a second and I can take care of you a little bit..if you’d like that?”

His eyes flutter for a moment and a smirk grows on his face as he lays down on his back he says “I would fucking love that, you have no idea. God you’re perfect.”

You move to hover over him straddling his lap, every movement you make gaining grunts and moans from him. You start kissing his neck making sure to take your time so he can enjoy this as much as you can tell he needs to.

You lick from his neck down to his chest and then finally to his stomach. God is it perfect, so soft and so completely Jake. You couldn’t have dreamed you’d ever be seeing it with your own two eyes this way. You place kisses all over his stomach, making your way to his hips placing gentle bites at both of them. He bites his lips and you swear you hear a little whimper come out.

You waste no more time, and lick down his entire length stunned at the size. You swirl your tongue around his head, and his hips start moving up begging for more.

You take all of him into your mouth, moaning onto him. His hand travels down and grabs a handful of your hair.

Pulling the fistful of hair tighter he says, “That’s it baby, good girl.”

His praise encourages you and you sink down feeling him fill the back of your throat. The moan that comes out of him in reaction is heavenly. You want to hear it over and over.

He starts thrusting his hips up into you, taking control but you can tell he’s still holding back trying to be gentle with you.

The grip in your hair gets tighter and the sting sends a shiver through you. God he looks so perfect right now. His eyes closed, biting his lip moaning sweet praises.

Suddenly he’s slips himself out of your mouth, and he’s positioned you on your hands and knees.

“I’m hoping you will see me again soon, and I want to really take my time with you over and over.” He leans down into your ear and whispers, “but I need you right fucking now, so will you be a good girl for me and let me fuck you?”

Hearing him talk to you that way makes you start aching and throbbing for him. “Please Jake, yes.”

He grabs your hair again, and you feel him teasing you with his head spreading your wetness all over himself. “Please, what?” He growls out.

“Yes, sir. Please. I need it.”

That sends him plunging into you hard, and his hands grip onto your hips with force. His pace is brutal in the best imaginable way and your vision starts blurring from the pleasure building up in you already.

Without missing a stroke he sends his hand flying down to smack your ass, the sting makes you whimper and then another wave of pleasure crashes down.

He’s already losing the battle he’s putting up to last longer and he is wincing fighting back the release coming. “F-fuck baby, I think I’m close already. God.”

You feel it building in you as well, a tightness creeping through all your muscles “Let go sir, for me?” And next thing you know he’s going even harder, sending himself crashing over the edge of his orgasm into you. Your own following right behind him, you scream out his name at the force of his last stroke.

After a riding through it together, he collapses onto your back and pulls you close. He places a soft kiss on your forehead, and just whispers “Thank you y/n, thank you…”

Once you both catch your breath and lay there for a few minutes kissing and still touching you hear something on the floor buzzing.

His eyes grow wide and he jumps up to grab his phone.

“Fuck!” He starts pacing and getting dressed in the process. He looks at you with regretful eyes, as he answers the phone.

“Hey baby, what’s up?”

Silence, while you hear a woman on the other end. His eyes never leave yours and you know he’s not hearing a word she’s saying.

“Hey, sweetie can I call you when I get back on the bus? It’s hard to hear right now I’m out with the boys.”

After a few moments, he hangs up and silently finishes getting dressed then helping you do the same.

“I’m so sorry y/n, you don’t deserve that right after….after that. It was so amazing, and I’m just sorry that happened.”

Unknown to him, it didn’t seem to phase you for some reason. Did part of you…even like it? Being his secret?…you notice him staring at you waiting for a response so you just shake your head.

“It’s fine Jake…i uh, I get it.”

His eyes are soft as he grabs your chin placing another kiss on your lips. “If I text you, will you still answer? I need to see you again.” His eyes are big, almost begging.

You smile at him and reply, “Just let me know when and where Jakey, I’ll be there for you.”

After some probably inappropriate jokes and flirty remarks he walks to your front door holding your hand. He turns before opening it, and it looks like he has more to say but he doesn’t. He just places a hand on the side of your head gently and kisses your forehead.

He turns, and walks out your door. And you’re left stunned, trying to grasp what the fuck kind of night you just had. You should feel guilty, or maybe sad after that phone call….but all you can do is smile and wonder when he will text you again.

You start to drift off to sleep, and you see your phone light up with one notification. A single text from Jake that just reads,

“Thank you”

You smile and let the exhaustion take you, and drift off reliving your night in your head.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 16 thoughts

damn. this was another episode i had to stretch out over TWO DAYS because a storm RUDELY interrupted me, but to say i was at the edge of my seat was an understatement. i was entirely invested. every beat was excellent. and most of my notes were asking the question: what is going on? so join me as i walk you through every single time i was confused (but in a good way)

so i read the synopsis and saw there was a mulder's sister mention........ interesting....

it opens with mulder monologuing about his quest in life to find the truth, and i'm into it, and then we see a helicopter... but it's HIM in the helicopter being medevaced?? so this monologue must be taking place at a later date? or is a sort of cosmic narration of his coma thoughts??

he is beat to hell and back and they are putting him in a TUB

scully bursts onto the scene and they try to be like "who are you" and she is NOT playing around, she's all "there's no time for this, a man is dying" queen.......

so he's still going on- either cosmically or in a sort of post-event narration- about "what happened on the ice" justifying his every belief. and also that he thinks that aliens are HERE and they are COLONIZING? which i feel is a bit of a jump. like aliens being a thing, okay, possible. colonizing earth? i mean, also possible, but like... don't they have better things to do?

they have him in the tub to prevent hypothermia but scully is yelling that THE COLD IS KEEPING HIM ALIVE and i'm wondering if she knows that because 1. it's obvious medical knowledge and she is simply out-doctoring these other doctors or 2. they're doing what you would normally do for a patient in these circumstances, but she knows there has been some sort of alien fuckery that needs to be addressed in a different manner

then, right as we hear that HIS HEART STOPPED, we get the little spooky song and the intro. my notes consisted of: HUH?? WHAT IS GOING ON??????

okay. jump back in time. two weeks earlier. yeah let's figure out what led up to this.

(i do get hooked when we jump right into the heart of the matter though. as a plot device i will be Sat for this convention sorry)

but my notes were still lingering on what i had just seen. first, that his face was broken as hell, and that makeup must have been unpleasant, and i can't imagine that being filmed being placed in a tub was much fun either

BUT, on the other hand, i think it's good that we're evening out the scales of each character almost dying. while he did get kidnapped in the s1 finale and almost die in the s2 premiere, scully's coma arc was a lot more dramatic, so it is good that it was his turn. we need to see them worried about each other in equal measure.

okay okay. back to the start of the episode. for real. two weeks before this whole ice bathing event, a ufo sort of thing crashed above a ship in the arctic. and the news is saying that a russian agent was rescued from a ship crash. because you can't just say it was a ufo.

cutscene to a women's health center in scranton. and my first thought was, please do not say we are gonna see some character come in with an alien pregnancy. and thankfully that is not where that went. because s2 is too early for that. work up to it a little bit, you know?

the doctor at the health center is watching the news, and he clearly recognizes the man they are shown being lifted from the crash. and he goes to run out the room.

oh? as soon as he escapes from the room.... he is being BEATEN by the dude he just saw on the tv. OH??? BIG NEEDLES???? foaming with green liquid??? the place is set on fire after that?? we have seen these needles with liquid used on aliens before....

dude, what's going on, i wrote in my notes... the girls are scared

okay, so here's what we have so far: three doctors who perform abortions have had their clinics set on fire, and their obituaries forwarded to mulder

(at this point, we see the credits which i'm used to ignoring, but this one has more names on it.... because DAVID wrote the story with MR. CARTER???? okayyyyy putting that yale degree to WORK!!!!!)

wait. we get visuals on the three newly deceased doctors. and they. all have the same face??? and no records on them at all.

they go to visit a suspect, who had a "have you seen this man" ad in his pocket for a local newspaper, so they go to that city and try to investigate

she thinks it's a setup because they have been given weirdly little information, and he thinks there are more doctors out there with the same face that need rescuing... lowkey agreeing with her but i know how these plot devices play out. so.

she's calling the number they gave her and serving looks on the phone, work, but a tip has been made that the next guy is in syracuse, so they're off on a new york road trip

an fbi agent is sent off to the scene, and we see the next same-faced doctor in syracuse, where he is talking with someone about "sharing the planet"... but. well. here's what my notes had to say:

"NOOOO MORE GOO... THE DOCTOR DISSOLVED AND THE BULLETS AREN'T DOING ANYTHING TO THE KILLER? BUT THE GAS IS KILLING THE AGENT... LIKE WE SAW IN THAT EPISODE WITH THE GUY WHO COULD GO UNDERWATER!!"

so we see the fbi agent is very dead, but then he comes right back on screen, and we are dealing with a shapeshifter!!!!! the dead guy has been placed in the trunk of a car with some funky markings on his face. using the likeness of the dead fbi agent, he tells our duo that there was nothing to see at the address they located. and the killer shapeshifts again, leaving me thinking about how cool being a shapeshifter would be.

cut to skinner cam, who has become something like a strange cousin to me. he is PISSED that mulder went on a side quest without his permission because an agent DIED but mulder is very confused because he talked to the agent and he was very much alive? (but it was actually the shapeshifter, of course) and for once mulder is too stunned to speak

scully is at hooooome checking her compuuuuter and she is wearing a flannel!!!!! yes casual wear let's hear it for comfortably scully!!! make some noise!!!

despite looking very comfortable she is not pleased because someone sent her a disturbing email, and she wants to know if mulder got one, too- it's another of the same faced doctors, and this one is in washington. right in their area!

on his way over to her apartment, we run into.... A NEW CHARACTER???? his name is ambrose chapel, and he is allegedly from the CIA... do we trust him? what was he doing outside her place.

they go into scully's apartment and i'm like, dude, we couldn't have done this in a place that wasn't her apartment? but well. why not welcome a strange man in there?

he's going on about the soviet union and the genetic anomalies from twins being studied and turned into clones, who will be used to sabotage the medical system. and all the clones- who are called gregors- are being systematically eliminated in exchange for the knowledge that created them.

pause. no i actually don't want to analyze the alleged soviet gregors who will somehow poison the medical system. i'm looking at scully's apartment. she must have moved back into DC after being reassigned from the academy. so is this the same apartment as her first one? i can't tell. this gregor stuff is complicated and i'm admiring the art on her walls- it looks like little watercolors or postcards of beach scenes. that's so sweet.

so it turns out that this ambrose chapel is the one that placed the ad they had called earlier, and he says the gregors are trying to reach mulder, and they need to work together to protect them, i guess. weird cross department alliance. i don't buy it.

scully is sitting on her couch looked confused as hell. me too girl i'm just trying to figure out if this is the same apartment from s1. sorry to the gregors.

we next see someone in a room full of green liquid that looks like those big tanks of lemonade at the mall. it appears to be a gregor. i imagine that this is NOT lemonade and is instead sustaining some sort of alien creature....

but now we're back with our agents and ambrose chapel visiting a new gregor in a hotel. when gregor opens the door, he is really scared of ambrose. and there's also another lady in the room with him who is hiding. things were going real rapid fire at this point. my notes were just a series of questions, or statements followed by question marks to express disbelief:

"gregor JUMPS OUT of the window but somehow GETS BACK UP? and now he's running away??? so we get a chase scene. WHO IS THIS AMBROSE FELLOW??? and why is there a lady in the room hiding behind a curtain???"

mulder is going after gregor on foot when he gets HIT BY A CAR????

but he says he's fine and tells scully to keep going. ambrose is stalking this gregor like a cat, and gregor has no choice but to climb something to escape.

but noooo!!! the shapeshifter is back!!! the shapeshifter WAS ambrose?? the gregors must be able to sense who the shapeshifter is.

"ambrose chapel" tells scully that the gregor got away, but she steps in some familiar green goo that indicates things are not looking great for our gregor, and he is likely gone. too soon.

"how are you feeling?", scully asks mulder. "like i should have taken the crosswalk", he says LMAOOOOOO

scully is pointing out the obvious: this ambrose fellow is sus as hell. "what happened to trust no one?" "oh, i changed it to trust everyone, i didn't tell you?" LMAOOOO this man cannot stop running his damn mouth

he's all, i ran a background check on ambrose, and he is totally clear, he's been working at the CIA for 17 years! and she asks so WHY, if he has been working here for 17 years, does he need OUR HELP? and also the gregor was CLEARLY running from him, and not us!

he accuses her of being paranoid which 1. kettle calling pot black and 2. rude as hell??? she is speaking total sense here

OHHHH THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!!! and again she is NOT wrong.

"you'll pursue a case at the expense of everything, to the point of insanity, and expect me to follow you. there has to be somewhere to draw the line" and is she wrong??? she does not get paid enough to deal with all of this, and he's endangering them... and he seems to just assume that she will do anything he asks of her.........

"if the pursuit of this case seems like insanity to you, feel free to step away from it" he says, in a way that is very judgemental and accusatory and not at all understanding of how wild this whole thing sounds. and i'm taken back to his opening monologue, how he was going on about the pursuit of the truth interfering with his relationships... exhibit a!!

she points out that SOMEONE DIED and he deflects by saying "those are the risks you take! you either accept them or you don't"

(now, when signing up for the fbi, i do not actually think "murder by alien" was on the risk of disclaimers signed so.)

((ugh he's pissing me off here. i get it, the bloodhound need to sniff out the truth without regard for anything else, let alone something as simple as safety. but could we maybe LISTEN to our partner???? just once????? GRRRR))

(also they keep calling ambrose chapel by his last name and its making me think of chappell roan, my beloved above all else. this is not very h-o-t t-o g-o of mulder to be ignoring scully's concerns)

despite the high levels of tension and voices being raised, she pulls out her shoe that had stepped in the alien gunk and shows him how it has been burned through. his eyes light up in fascination and he says we need to go get this tested now and also can you prepare an autopsy bay? we can't figure out how the agent in the syracuse situation died. and then HER EYES expand with childlike wonder and everything is momentarily right with the world again.

he comes down to the autopsy- perhaps as a form of apology for his earlier rudeness- and watches while she goes over the stuff. and everything looks normal except his blood was clotted somehow??

"skinner's gonna wanna know why you didn't file your report... what are you gonna say?" "just the truth. i got hit by a car!" LMAOOOO okay honesty king

(it was at this point i lost power and had to spend the rest of the night wondering what the hell was going to happen next until i could finish it the next day.... i truly deserve compensation for this happening twice in one week. what sick and twisted force is out there trying to keep me from running this blog, huh?!?!?)

okay we're back. mulder is going into skinner's office.

he must have came up with a report real fast, because he goes to give it to skinner, and he says he didn't call him to talk about that:

"your father has been trying to reach you. there's been a family emergency"

(proving once again that skinner is serving the same functions as a high school prinicpal)

he calls his dad, and his mom picks up... and he asks why she was at "dad's place".... MULDER CHILD OF DIVORCE CONFIRMED?!?!?

scully stops by his office with an address she found to go on, and he says you go there, and walks out. she asks where he's going and he said "home" and did not elaborate. and said nothing else.

(this pissed me off because RIGHT before scully was kidnapped, he had similarly made an abrupt exit on here and i thought that he would stop doing that and start saying a proper goodbye but no. he has not learned. ALWAYS say goodbye and tell your friends you love them when you leave- it is NOT negotiable!!!!!!)

she drives to the address and it is... very creepy... it's the room full of tanks that aren't lemonade but they look like it!!!!! and ambrose chapel (NOT to be confused with chappell roan!) is pushing the tanks over and stepping on the chunks of stuff that comes out of them... very gross...

scully calls mulder and asks him to please call back because she thinks she is in danger, and someone is following her, sitting outside her apartment, BUT HE IS BUSY!!! WITH FAMILY EMERGENCY!!! which she does not KNOW ABOUT because he DID NOT TELL HER!!!!

he arrives at his dad's place and i am not shocked that man is either from or has spent a significant amount of time in massachusetts, specifically martha's vineyard. like yeah. this isn't shocking to me. it just makes sense.

(although if that were the case, he'd be MUCH more obnoxious about the patriots and the red sox, and before he mentioned going to dodger's stadium and having a shirt from the new york knicks.... so what's the truth?!)

his dad is on the porch and is being kinda weird- do BOTH our agents have a strained relationship with their fathers? and his dad shakes his hand and it's Weird. but he sees his mom is talking to someone inside.

SISTER REVEAL??? it was the girl who was inside the house when the agents and ambrose showed up to find the gregor! AND i think it's the same girl that gave them the map back in binghamton... but i could be wrong?

in the morning he gives his mom a kiss and tucks her into bed. aww.

then he walks outside and it looks like he is either gonna start hyperventilating or crying, but his "sister" is on the porch and he goes over to talk to her- what do you say after 22 years?

she says she was returned around age 8 or 9, and placed with a family, and that she couldn't remember anything until doing some hypnotherapy a few years back, and the memories of her family and all of the horrific testing returned.

(and sorry i'm not buying it. idk it just doesn't seem to add up!!!!!)

but he's hugging her so it's probably best he can't hear me say that. my guess is someone is trying to distract him from the truth.

but, she already knows what is going on... she says a bounty hunter is after her "father" (which confuses mulder because... same dad?) but she corrects herself and says the man who adopted her is one of the gregors- and he is an alien- and they'll be after her soon, i guess for maybe knowing the truth?

at this point in the episode we begin a series of phone calls in which both parties repeatedly miss each other's calls and i was like whyyyyy. whyyyyy.

anyway scully is leaving. she's in a jacket and she's taking the bus and i love her so bad. she says where she is going on the phone but i assumed she was lying because it was in public.

and mulder's "sister" is saying that the hit man can disguise himself as anyone. so he's trying to reach scully, who is back at the site of the lemonade-looking alien tanks.

she pulls a lock picker out of her fanny pack because that is my baby.

and when she goes in all the alien stuff is smashed. she's looking at the alien meat on the floor. and she picks something up and. OH FUCK, i yelled at my screen. i hit pause SO FAST. she was holding a PULSATING ALIEN EMBRYO. but some guy is in the back!!!!!

she tries to get him to stop whatever it is he's doing but he says "you cannot hurt us" and then all of the remaining gregors with the same face are in the room!!!!!!

so she puts them in maximum security but the windows on the cars weren't blacked out and i feel that they should have been. and just as i make note of this we see the shapeshifter hit man... NO!!!

scully ACTUALLY goes to the motel she said she would, and they miss calls 2 MORE TIMES... i will start biting!!!!!

and back where the gregors are being watched, the guards switch, and a new fellow walks in... and i guessed it was the shapeshifter, and yes indeed it was, he busts out his needle that turns the gregors to acid....

there's a knock at scully's door at like 11:30 at night and she goes and gets it and it's mulder!!! where were you, she asks, when her phone starts ringing...

and who is on the other end but... mulder.........

no.... shapeshifter......

TO BE CONTINUED?????

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

this is so unfair because had the power NOT been knocked off i could have seen this episode yesterday and then part 2 tonight. but now i shall be forced to wait until TOMORROW to see what happens. soooooo evil.

i should have known we were gonna get another two-parter when we were halfway through the episode and still no mention was made of any ice. you know, the ice we began with?

anyway. i really really liked this episode. the pacing was great, as much as i complained about their argument i thought it was excellent conflict, we learn more about mulder, but i do not believe that is really his sister. sorry. and if it IS her i'll be forced to issue a formal apology but until then i remain doubtful. has anyone considered doing a blood test. this predates 23 and me.

aughhh i need to know how he ends up an ice cube!!!!!! and i will have to wait until tomorrow. and while i technically COULD watch part 2 tonight i want to have a real good bit of time dedicated to breaking it down

(i saw the episode after the next one is about zoo animals and i was like hell yeah this is what i love about this show. we get some heartbreaking alien infiltration content and then some possessed elephants)

((WAIT. ARE THEY REALLY GONNA GET TO GO TO THE ZOO??? LIKE I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF?? but it's a zoo of ANGRY animals so it's not even going to be relaxing??? this is SOOOOO unfair...))

[solarsonicsoda]

Rating 500+ Theme Tunes - #8: Samurai Jack

I don't know about you, but when I hear the name Genndy Tartakovsky, my first thought is always Samurai Jack. More than Dexter or his Star Wars series, this is the Tartakovsky show to me. To the uninitiated, Samurai Jack follows a prince referred to only as Jack as he fights to return to his time and defeat the evil demon who flung him into the dystopian future. He's also a samurai, just in case you were wondering.

Despite being widely considered as one of the greatest shows to ever grace Cartoon Network, there's a reason Samurai Jack has a certain "cult classic" quality to it. The show never received all the backing it needed from the network, being cancelled before its story could be concluded as intended. Fortunately, its fifth and final season was able to release 13 years later and put a cap on this story and unique show. The show is hailed for its focus on animation and visual storytelling compared to its dialogue-heavy contemporaries.

Now, I mentioned the "cult classic" nature of the show to justify the following: I have never seen an episode of Samurai Jack. I was definitely aware of it growing up, and it looks pretty cool, but by the time we got CN on our TV, the revived Season 5 was closer than the original run's end. I feel like it was on late some nights, but that was a rare time to have unrestricted television access. I would love to check it out sometime! For now, I'll just check out the theme tune.

Samurai Jack Theme Tune (Seasons 1-4)

Samurai Jack Theme Tune (Season 5)

For the first four seasons, we are welcomed by an evil monologue from Aku, the aforementioned evil demon. He's voiced by the late Mako, who also voices Uncle Iroh in Avatar: The Last Airbender. Following his passing, Greg Abbott would succeed him, which I wanted to mention as I never would have noticed if I hadn't read it. This narration is suitably informative and of course well-performed, setting the more serious tone the show can take on. In Season 5, this is replaced by narration from Jack which I feel takes on a much less fun tone given the perspective.

As for the music, that remains the same across seasons. It's a relatively simple song, incorporating both hip-hop and Asian inspirations. It definitely drives home Jack's single-minded goal to return to his time, though it isn't a particularly engaging tune personally, largely due to its short length and repetitiveness. That's not to say I don't like it though, I think it's a pretty cool intro and paired with the monologue it makes for a decent primer for some Samurai Jack action.

Taking all of this into account, I have to look largely at my own gut feeling. This intro is largely unique which I have a great deal of respect for, though the end product doesn't exceed beyond the pack in my opinion. Still, it does what it needs to do, and I know my thoughts are definitely in the minority. For me, this intro gets a C. I do feel like watching some Samurai Jack now though.

Stay tuned for more and be sure to send in any suggestions for other shows you'd like to see done (after the 500 already in the pipeline that is). Check out the intro to this series here, and check out the tier list.

[chaewandz]

ROSE — chapter 11: mc sakura ftw!

synopsis: after she turns 18, y/n’s parents arrange a competition for young suitors in her town to compete for her love, a family tradition that brought about her parents’ marriage. twelve men are selected, but who will win her heart?

“this round was a terrible idea.” y/n whispered, her hand placed fearfully on her forehead.

“relax! it’ll be funny!!” Sakura said elbowing y/n and giggling.

“no it’s going to give me the ick.” y/n declared, making the other girls burst into laughter.

“you know y/n… if all else fails I’m still single!” joonie announced, earning a jab to the side from y/n.

“oh I don’t know if I can watch.” y/n whispered, peeking between her fingers as the first group of suitors began posing.

“oh please don’t make us suffer alone!” isa interjected, prying y/n’s hands away from her eyes.

the purple team composed of heeseung, sunghoon, jay, jungwon, hueningkai, and soobin went first.

as the 6 suitors stood in dramatic poses, jungwon signaled towards a guard, cueing him to play the music.

the music in question, was super shy by new jeans. upon hearing the first note, the girls all gasped.

“oh god this is…” youngeun whispered, laughing.

the five girls sat there with their jaws dropped, giggling as the boys started dancing.

“I’m super shy, super shy, but wait a minute while I make you mine, make you mine, y/n ur so cool!” heeseung sang, pointing to her and clutching his heart.

“man I forgot he could sing…is there anything this man doesn’t do?” isa whispered, defeated and shocked.

“I’m not really sure how to react to this.” y/n whispered, lips pressed into a thin line as the boys all shot her finger hearts.

“come on y/n! aren’t you swooning? aren’t they seducing you!!!” sakura teased.

“oh shut up.” y/n laughed, shifting her focus back to the performance.

the suitors had stopped singing along to the music and instead all broke into their own dramatic monologue.

“ah princess. you are so pretty!” jungwon yelled, dancing around the field.

“this has to be some form of medieval torture.” y/n mumbled, making the girls giggle.

“Ah but it’s so cute!!” isa leaned forward grinning.

“princess, your smile lights up the room!” soobin yelled, making a heart with his hands three different ways, earning an embarrassed chuckle from the princess.

after each suitor had their mini declaration of love they sang the chorus of super shy again, except this time they freestyle danced all over the field in circles, making the girls fall over laughing.

once they finished, Sakura stood up and clapped.

“well purple team, you definitely weren’t shy about your admiration for our princess! we will take that into consideration when judging. thank you for such a wonderful performance! now please welcome the blue team composed of jake, sunoo, niki, beomgyu, yeonjun, and taehyun!!” sakura cheered into her mic and then sat back down with the girls.

“do we think it will get worse from here?” joonie whispered, giggling.

“are we sure that’s possible?” youngeun replied, trying to mask her giggles.

“the sooner you two shut up the sooner it ends!” isa giggled, glaring at the two.

as the five girls quieted down, the second team signaled for the guards to click play on the speaker, twice’s “what is love?” bursting through the speakers.

“NO WAY??” sakura cackled.

“oh this is deranged.” y/n snorted.

“BUT I LOVE THIS SONG!!” joonie whined.

extremely excited for the performance, the girls leaned forward in their seats and eagerly watched the boys.

instead of singing “TWICE!” as the intro of the song usually sings, the boys all shouted y/n’s name instead, earning laughter from all girls.

“this is like your favorite song ever???” joonie announced, shocked.

“OH THATS RIGHT!!” isa agreed, now enjoying the performance even more.

“It won’t be for much longer…” y/n whispered, causing the girls to burst into laughter.

the suitors began to strike different “cute” poses around the grass, even choosing to make hearts with each other. then they all ran around in a circle and instead of singing the beginning verses of the song, each started talking about y/n similarly to how the first team did.

“our princess y/n, have I mentioned you look stunning today? you’re making my cheeks blush as pink as your outfit!” sunoo declared, making the girls gasp.

“princess, I need sunglasses to shield myself from the brightness of your smile! truly mesmerizing!” beomgyu, stated, pretending to be blinded by the sight of y/n.

“THAT WAS HORRENDOUS-“ sakura said through laughter.

“it was so silly it’s cute!” youngeun defended.

four declarations of love later, the chorus of the song arrived and all six suitors began dancing to the song’s chorus in a heart formation with niki at the center. this was because the other suitors had voted him “best center” upon seeing his dance moves during practice.

the girls sang along, isa and joonie even stood up and began dancing along with them, mainly to make y/n laugh.

as cringey as y/n thought the challenge was, she couldn’t hide the bright smile painted across her face as she watched the suitors dance. it was comical and also unironically good at some points.

once the song finished the boys all ran together and formed a heart with their arms, all doing their best out-of-breath ending fairy pose.

the princess couldn’t help but stand up and clap for the boys for dancing to her favorite song so elegantly and humorously.

“oh my goodness… blue team you gave us the answer to the grand question ‘what is love?’. your stage presence did not go unnoticed. now if you will excuse us, we must now fulfill our duty as judges and decide on a winning team!” sakura gleefully announced into her microphone. “reminder: the current score is 1-0, blue team, BUT! this round is worth double points meaning it’s anybody’s game. once again, the winning team will be invited to a special party tonight at the castle with our lovely princess while the losing team will have to return to their rooms alone. good luck!”

sakura handed her mic off to one of the guards on the stage and the girls all stood up and made their way to the benches behind the stage to discuss.

“I feel like we have a clear winner here…” isa confidently stated.

“I agree!” joonie announced, smirking at isa.

“y/n, what do you think?” sakura asked.

“i want to hear your guys’ thoughts first!!” y/n laughed.

“okay on three we will all say what team we think deserves to win…” youngeun suggested, earning nods from the rest of the girls.

“three… two… one… BLUE TEAM!”

“BLUE TEAM!”

“PURPLE TEAM!”

“PURPLE TEAM!”

the girls all yelled at the same time creating a jumble of words.

“wow we really never agree on anything.” joonie giggled.

“blue team IS the obvious winner!!!” isa replied, defensively.

“you’re only saying that because you love twice!!!” youngeun argued.

“who doesn’t??” sakura countered.

y/n couldn’t help but laugh.

“I was the only one who didn’t vote!!” she revealed through laughs.

“come on y/n!!! who in your heart deserves to win!!” isa encouraged.

“I mean both teams picked very good songs…” y/n thought.

“yes but who performed their song the best?” joonie interjected.

“I guess… if i HAD to choose..”

“which you do.” sakura laughed.

“be quiet!!!! SINCE I have to choose… the better team was… blue!” y/n declared.

isa and sakura cheered, while youngeun and joonie jokingly shook their heads.

“alright well we better go tell them!” sakura grinned.

the five girls stood up and made their way back to the stage, y/n in front of course. sakura once again picked up her microphone and cleared her throat.

while the girls were judging the boys began playing around and talking to the opposite team, complimenting and also teasing each other. now that the princess had returned they all quieted down and pretended as if they weren’t just running around and giggling with each other.

y/n caught a glimmer of mischief in heeseung’s eyes and sent him a small smirk, used to his antics. he of course returned a very shameless smile.

“hello again everyone!” sakura began. “now after a heated discussion over which team had the best performance… we have come to a consensus. it was a close call! the losing team only lost by ONE person’s vote!!” sakura turned and teasingly stared directly at y/n. “with that being said… DRUMROLL PLEASE! the winning team is…”

the suitors were all quite nervous and excited. some were confident in the fact that they won and others were a little nervous, not wanting to lose time with the princess. as the drumroll intensely increased, sakura raised her hand as a signal for it to stop.

“congratulations to the BLUE TEAM!” sakura yelled, grinning from ear to ear.

those in blue jerseys immediately began cheering and high fiving each other while the purple team looked slightly disappointed but also understanding.

“good job to both teams, you worked incredibly hard and your efforts have not gone unnoticed! do not fret purple team, there are many fun activities planned for tomorrow! but as for tonight… those on the blue team better get a move on if they want to be ready for this party! dismissed!” sakura announced, almost too gleefully.

as the suitors made their way off the field and into the castle followed by guards, the girls turned to each other smiling.

“you enjoy being an MC way too much for my liking…” y/n giggled.

“she thought she was dumbledore during the sorting hat ceremony…” isa teased.

“its called CHARISMA!” sakura defended herself, earning more laughter.

“cmon y/nnie, we need to get ready for the party!” joonie winked, linking arms with y/n, the other girls doing the same.

← previous masterlist next →

author’s note: hey guys… I KNOW ITS BEEN A WHILE!!! my bad yawl. please I’m sorry I’m terrible at updating bye. I just rlly wanted to post this so here <3 love ya !! Also since I haven’t updated in FOREVER my taglist has gotten saur messy bro idek what happened … plz my apologies if ur not there and ur meant to be just comment and lmk if u wanna be readded 😭

taglist: (open!!) @dahyvnz @emoworu @strwberrydinosaur @flwrsforriki @deafeningballoonnacho @faiirybread @captivq @bigtoewinwin @yeletbz @palajae @sd211 @shinsou-rii @nomurahayami @viagumi @sfthyuka @byvrn @hyunsllvr @sickandtired129 @2kool4yu @geniejunn

send an ask to be added :)

synopsis: after she turns 18, y/n’s parents arrange a competition for young suitors in her town to compete for her love, a family tradition that brought about her parents’ marriage. twelve men are selected, but who will win her heart?

[jcs-study]

So, Peter denies Jesus three times, and then according to the Bible, the cockerel crows, just as Jesus said. In all the recordings I’ve heard and the many performances I’ve seen of JCS, I’ve never heard a cockerel after the third denial by Peter. It’s in the Bible, so why not in the show? I’ve always thought that the fact biblical Jesus said “Before the cock crows three times you will deny me,” and then the third time Peter denies him, a cock crows, to be quite powerful storytelling.

Okay, well, I'll start with the most obvious answer: because it's a show, not a literal reenactment of the Bible. Yes, lines and actions taken from within the Bible occur during the show (and way more than fundamentalist Christians actually realize, as I've covered in these pages before), but there's also a ton of stuff that's flat-out made up. (After all, it's not as though Judas has a sung angsty monologue about how things are going astray and Jesus is letting fame go to his head in the Bible either…)

It's a creative work taking poetic license. Besides, Jesus doesn't even mention the cock's crow in the lyrics, just that Peter will deny him. You wish it was in the show? Take it up with Tim Rice!

Having said that...

Some productions do include the rooster. The Ivo van Hove rendition currently running in the Netherlands, I am told, is one example; there are probably more I don't know about. (Hey, I know a lot about JCS, but I don't know everything.)

As someone who has done a lot of historical research, I can tell you there probably wasn't a cockerel involved in the first place. According to biblical scholars who have delved into the historical Jesus (as opposed to the Christ of faith and literature), the keeping of fowls was illegal in Jerusalem, especially in the Temple complex, where loose fowl were not permitted for fear of their contaminating "pure" sacrificial animals with unclean creatures they might drag out of dung heaps; in reality, Peter would not have heard the cock crow… if we think of this in literal terms. However, the land of Judea -- and Jerusalem -- was under Roman control and customs. One such custom was the night "watches" when the trumpet was blown at each watch. The melody of the tune played changed with each watch, so the town would know approximately what time it was. A verse in the Gospel of Mark refers to all four, suggesting one was "at the cock-crowing." So, it's possible Jesus meant Peter would deny him "at the cock-crowing"; while he may not have heard a rooster, since none were available, the trumpet blast of the Roman "watch" would be heard throughout Jerusalem overhead. Some savvy JCS productions that did their homework have opted to reference this theory by having the brass and woodwinds play the "betrayal" theme Mary sings before she comes in, allowing for the visual impact of Peter realizing he has fulfilled the prophecy first. It's clever if you've done enough homework about the show and the story to catch the reference, and even more clever if the "watch" motif has already been established, using, for example, the intro to "Simon Zealotes." (For that matter, if you, too, subscribe to this theory, "in just a few hours" could refer to that "watch," but that's a heavy-handed interpretation I'm imposing on the lyric.)

I hope this answered your question!

[spocks-husband]

OKAY SO after forcing myself to finish Voyager I am finally watching Picard so I'm gonna liveblog my reactions to episode one for the Enjoyment Of The People. Spoiler warning obv lol

-the cinematography is so yass

-oh my god it's my husba DATA?????

-WHAT

-HELLO???

-or is that B4...?

-I have to rewatch the TNG movies :/

-When did Jean-Luc start drinking his tea with milk????

-i love my husband Jean-Luc so much hes so hot even at 83 <<3

-uhhhh what's. Oh my god. Oh it was a dream. Oh I'm gonna kill myself.

-THE DOGS NAME IS NUMBER ONE ☹️

-AWWW HE'S BACK IN FRANCE :(

-who are these new people

-i'm uncomfortable

-WHAT the fuck is up with the replicators

-OH DAMN LMAOOO THEY BOUTTA DIE

-omg I'm from Seattle too she's just like me fr fr

-me when I'm murdering bitches

-of course the Black boy dies immediately ‼️ yasss ‼️‼️

-Intro was kinda meh ngl :/

-why is there SO much piano going on

-my beautiful old man boyfriend...

-JEAN LUC SPEAKING FRENCH IS GONNA MAKE ME CUM.

-sorry ☹️

-omg ....... Who is this sexy romulan man......

-DECAF??????

-he looks so tired someone please let this man go home 😭😭 my poor baby Patrick :(

-literally who are these people

-I always forget about that the Romulan supernova happened outside STO 💀

-Why is she bullying my bf. Kill yourself.

-GOD HE'S SUCH A GOOD ACTOR I'M SCREAMINGGGG

-I need to perform this monologue

-literally who is this girl 😭

-can you leave my husband alone please

-the writing just took a random turn downward

-PLEASEEEE I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM

-stop looking at him like that 🤨🤨

-dahj has Mary Sue energy I'm sorry 😭

-STOP TOUCHING HIM I'M GOING FERAL

-i also hallucinate Data being in my backyard

-Its probably just because we have better camera quality now then we did in the nineties but Brent's contacts are making me so uncomfortable 😭

-why does he say stasis like that 💀

-THE PICARD DAY BANNER :(

-DAUGHTER??????

-didnt we already do this in that one TNG episode

-OHH wait is she an android

-i want Jean-Luc so bad no one understands

-WAIT OH MY GOD I JUST GOT IT

-I JUST UNDERSTOOD WHAT'S HAPPENING

-HOLY SHIT

-Why are they making this sad old man run so much he's in his 80s 😭😭

-WAIT DID SHE JUST DIE LMAOOO NO FUCKIN WAYYY

-Number One is my favorite character other than my boyfriend, he's so perfect

-"I haven't been living, I've been waiting to die" OKAY SO YOU CAN WRITE WELL YOU JUST CHOSE NOT TO FOR THE PAST LIKE TWENTY MINUTES LMAOO

-omg hi B4!!

-i miss data ☹️

-DR MADDOX???? UGHHHH

-PAIRS??? THERE'S TWO OF THEM????

-that transition was bomb asf

-HOT ROMULAN GUY HOT ROMULAN GUY why is he British OH MY GOD THERE'S THE OTHER ONE

-damn straight to the traumadump

-this dialogue is kinda stilted tbh

-erm is that a Borg cube 🤨🤨

Overall rating 6/10

[owen-not-carvour]

OK LONG POST HERE WE GO!!!

i had the absolute privilege of seeing WVU/metropolitan theater ride the cyclone not once, but twice this week (opening and closing nights!!)

and lemme tell ya it was AMAZING. definitely one of my favorite casts/productions i’ve seen. so here’s the thoughts:

number one: it was overall very similar to 2016 original cast!! many of the actions were played very similarly to that one,, but it was also very different. bc script changes (i still miss ricky conceding, love conquers all and oceans line about not knowing/caring abt people in life and regretting it though) but also bc there were puppets. more on that later lol

-the set was AMAZING, here’s a picture i took from today before it started

i just love looking at this.

and going off of that. fuckin look at karnak!!!!! he’s so cool! reminds me of a muppet in the best way lol

-i also swore that virgil was wearing an ‘in case i make it’ by will wood shirt. i don’t actually think he was for a few reasons lol but i do think it was a very similar design fghgfd

-i love the uranium suite choreo so much. ocean put SO MUCH into those little scoop thingys fhsjhd but whenever they Died,, the round and round part,, the choreo looked more like the choreo from way back during waiting for the drop and i LOVE THAT. i miss that song a lot too.

-THEY ALSO DID THE WOO!! BEFORE THE END AND I LOVE THAT TOO!!!!!

-the layout of the coaster was cool: it was

ocean mischa

constance ricky

noel

which i thought was a great was to show their personalities over their friendships sort of :)

OK,, JANE DOE: i love her design in this one. she had pink ribbons on her pigtails and big ole eyelashes and i LOVE HER.

-she also had a comb for her dolly and used it to stab it while she was talking abt the lion thing. it was really funny fhsjhd

-her way of talking was also really cool. she broke off the sentences in different places than what i’ve heard before and just kind of had more of a sort of curious and clueless way about her. it was like “and so. i walk alone and wonder. why?” and just. her <3333 she was so good.

-during oceans little monologue (her speech) before what the world needs,, jane also put her head on constance’s shoulder and just. amazing. it was so funny she’s so sweet fhsjhd

-during the new birthday song (or. after it while they’re all talking) she was also super cute.. like played around w her party hat and ricky’s little xylophone thing he was playing for the song. i just think she’s great fhsjdh

ok back to The Rest,,

-seeing the upop bits was hilarious. like i’ve read them and seen a few performances of it,, but seeing it live was so good fhjshd also constance’s costume had such cute details!! she had rainbow details on her shoes and a couple enamel pins on her pinafore!

-constance and ocean also did their little handshake thing as part of their dance during its just a ride and that made me almost cry too fhsjdh

-they added “prestigious university” into oceans list of Reasons She’s The Best or whatever. it’s funny bc wvu is Not At All That lol hdjshdjs (edit: finally reread the new script and Yes that’s in there but it is still Really funny lol)

-ok what the world needs was so funny. love love love ocean (she’s the worst!!) but this one was like. manic abt it in the best way. her riff at the end was hilarious too. a lot of “ooooh i’m better than youuuu and youuuu and allllll of youuuohooooohohohooooo” it was great. also the turntable was super cool in this show bc it was like a mini stage which helped w levels and stuff too! (another note abt this ocean, she definitely made her own choices but she also rlly reminded me of tiffany which was fun!!)

-this noel was. SO gay. they all are. but This One. GODDAMN!! he was awesome. he did the intro monologue in a much more dramatic way than khobly (still referencing my 2016 thoughts) ..like kholbys version was kinda done like. noel was slightly embarrassed not abt who he was but like,, more so circumstancial stuff if that makes sense? he got excited abt the whole missing teeth thing and all, right. (just to give a reference on how these noels are different!!) this noel was drawn out dramatic through the wholeeeee thing. he was amazing.

-the taco bell picture comes up and mischa’s like hahahhaa the Fuck lol and noel starts like pouting. “what is That” “i was hoping you could tell me” “NO!!☹️” bro sounded like he was bout to cry dhshdh he was so good

-OK THE QUICK CHANGE!! y’all know how he kinda strips in 2016 and Other versions? NOPE THIS ONE WAS ALLLL TEARAWAY!! it happened so fast,, he was like FINE *RIP* and BOOM lingerie. it was incredible. he also wore on of those long fluffy flowy “i just killed my husband for the money” robes. y’all he looked so good

-today was especially great. noel’s lament was insane. i have literally never heard a louder audience for anything. every time he’d do anything people would scream (bc he was fucking killing it) and when he went down to “die” the first time. he just kinda sat and did the little wave to get people to make more noise. it was amazing. i wish i could’ve fuckin videod or some shit bc it was soooo good.

-mischa. mischa bachinski. this guy was perfect for him (i am so sorry i don’t know the actors names by the way). tbh i love when mischa’s short. and bouncy. his rage was a lot of jumping and punching air and just. i loved that for him. TSIA was hilarious as usual, it always is. i really liked how they Made a jet with their arms on that line,,, but TALIA. she was actually an actress on stage and they did the whole dance together and then she ran away on the last OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH and it was SO good wtf. talia Always gets me so this was so exception for sure.

-this entire cast is definitely one of my favorites for sure. but tHIS RICKY IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE ONE EVER. he was incredible y’all. like they all were but. ricky. his choices like. landed SO perfectly every time. “i’m tellin’ you right now, monkeylovedrop! :)” SHIT WAS AMAZING (not to mention i didn’t know abt ricky’s new background in the script so that was also fucking hilarious.)

-not to mention the way he did the very end section of the song the way alex did,, like melody wise?? i LOVE THAT (i just like hearing it that way more lol) so that made me super happy.

-oh and remember how i said there were puppets? i fuckin WISH i could’ve taken a picture of it. the zolarians were cat puppets that came out from the alcoves on the sides of the stage and they were fuckin NEON BLUE AND GREEN with holographic details. no one was ready for that but it was PERFECT DFGHJGFGH

-also the actual sabm costume??? he was glittery and neon and flared pants and heeled boots and neon green cat ears and he LOOKED SO MF GOOD HAHAHAHA

-the energy of the whole fucking show was so amazing. especially today (closing performance). people were cheering through the whole damn thing it was perfect.

-TBOJD: the way she said MY TURN!!! was so cute. it was like !! MY TURNNNN !! all excited and drawn out a little. good for her.

—but mainly. there were 2 things happening here. 1) the actress was AMAZING. i think she also may be one of my favorite janes ever. she did this Thing with her hands at one point,, and i can’t really describe it,, but it was like she was just trying to make sure she could still Feel. and it was rlly cool. 2) MORE PUPPETS!?!?!?! this time it was when the music kicked up,,, the rest of the choir was doing their own sick choreo but there were also uhhh big ass worms among them too. they were actually pretty cool.. big teeth and the way they moved was really fun to watch but it did feel a touch overcrowded at times 🙃

-THE OTHER THING WAS THE FLIGHT!!!!! SHE STILL FLEW!! she didn’t go upside down or spin but the fact she went up as high as she did (like above the spinny thing on the stage part of the set) was incredible. and yes ofc she absolutely MURDERED THOSE HIGH NOTES IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. i was mentally taking notes on her techniques the entire time fhsjhd (fun fact,, after the song today when i cheered/screamed for my applause i did in fact hit the note dhjshd it was a surprisingly supported one too lol)

-sugar cloud: JANE STARTED THE CHOREO AND THEN THEY ALL DID IT AFTER HER <33333 i will always love how sugar cloud is just Them uninhibited. it’s so good that way. this constance was also SO good with the way she did the monologue too. there were a few strong hints of regret but overall it was just Acceptance and moving forward and just hnnnnnnn she was wonderful.

-AND THEN THERE WERE MORE PUPPETS!!!! legit just little blobs of color that danced a little bit too. very cute, very constance fhsjhd my friend said the orange one was her favorite character and stole the show even lol. they were very expressive hfjdh

-there were a LOT of points where the audience were clapping along too and it made me sooooo happy. there was a part in noel’s lament, talia, and sugar cloud and just <333

-another few points that i saw throughout the show,, noel and constance besties. they were always hangin around each other.. same w mischa and constance. she’d make her quips against ocean and mischa’d be like YEAAHHHHHHH!! legit heard constance go-after the upop drugs bit- “yeah! you liked that one!! i’d been working on it for a bit!” <333

-really maybe just noel besties with everyone bc he also gave jane like. a Good hug before she left.. <33

-last thing that had me Dying,, noel also went up to ocean and put his hand on her shoulder and stood real close to her after she made her final vote. and ocean looked at him and leaned into it. and just. the growth from them both for that <3333 they’re so special to me.

-legit i think the only remote criticism i have is that it’s just a ride went SO FUCKING FAST???? like i don’t think y’all are taking enough of a look around at that speed lol.. it just wasn’t enough time to rlly enjoy how good that song is yknow.

overall wvu rtc completely blew me away and i desperately hope SOMEONE has a slime tutorial of it because GODDAMN THAT VERSION WAS GOOD!!! i need more ppl to talk abt it dhjshdj

[technicolorfamiliar]

Life & Trust Oct 13, 2024

It goes without saying that I went into L&T with a healthy amount of skepticism. Pretty much everything about how the show was marketed pissed me off, and all of the early teased info about the experience itself (the stupid masks with antlers, the fact that the show is basically a carbon copy of the Punchdrunk format, etc) made it sound ultra annoying. When I walked into the building last Sunday evening, my expectations were low. Which, inevitably, led me to find myself pleasantly surprised by the parts of L&T that worked, and to be massively ticked off by the things that didn't.

Spoilers below, including 1:1 info.

Preshow:

On arrival, I was escorted by a bar staff member to a small café table in the middle of Conwell Hall. Even with all the hype and photos on social media, the space is impressive, from the marble floors and columns to the antiqued brass fixtures to the massive Diego Rivera style show-specific mural hanging above the bar. It's cavernous, opulent in an Art Deco kind of way. There's a lot of cute paper ephemera on the tables, but between the menus, the business cards, the full-size old timey newspaper (full of in-world easter eggs), not to mention the drinks, the canapes, the votive candles… it's a lot of clutter. There's piped in music that's not quite period appropriate. I know there's some concern about disturbing the residents who actually live on the upper floors, but there's no reason they can't have like one person at a piano or something. They don't need a whole band, but some live entertainment would be nice.

Because I knew that people attending the 6pm "cocktail hour" get first admittance into the performance space, that's the entry time I booked. But that meant I had to stand around for the better part of an hour before doing 3ish more hours of standing, walking, and running inside the show. Other people, primarily couples and groups, got put at tables with seats during preshow. Because I was solo, I had to stand. Infuriating. There's no reason those tall café tables can't have bar stools or chairs. L&T seems to cater to couples and groups, which makes sense financially, but if they want to encourage repeat visits, they should make the preshow more accommodating to and comfortable solo guests. Just sayin'.

The Show:

The staff member I met during preshow escorted me and a handful of other guests to a small waiting room where we were held before being shown in to meet "the CEO", aka an older actor playing Old Faust J. G. Conwell. He was great, but the whole intro announcement/exposition scene is too long. Conwell's monologue is fine, but the second half of the scene with the demon? witch? goes on and on for no real reason other than to buy time for the previous group of audience members to filter into the performance space. (Maybe I'm just a broken shell of an immersive theater fan at this point, but I thought this scene and a few other moments in the show reveal too much of the bones of L&T's structure, feeling like ways to fill time rather than opportunities to pull me into the world. But again, maybe that's my fault.)

And what a space. Each subfloor is absolutely massive, yet all of the rooms (except the finale hall) feel a little claustrophobic because of the low ceilings. I know there are entire sections of the set I didn't see, but because it's at least four or five floors of disorienting, labyrinthine spaces, I don't feel like I was missing out.

The first room I walked into was what I can only describe as The Poodle Room… because it was a dark, creepy little office full, like floor to ceiling, of poodle figurines of various sizes. There are definitely some areas and rooms that you can tell a lot of care went into the design and detail -- the Conwell family suite is beautiful, something like an Egyptian tomb is bizarre and eerie, an old tavern and a series of tenements feel lived in.

There's also a Magical Devil Juice Forest with twinkling, color-changing fiberoptic lights on every branch and leaf. There's a dingy vaudeville theater, a nickelodeon running loops of early silent short films, a grimy artist's studio, a plush boudoir with a broken crystal chandelier in a heap on the floor, a coal mine. It's a lot. And yet, some of the spaces in the show have seem unfinished somehow or appear as an afterthought.

Based on what I'd read online, I was expecting the weird devil deer masks all the audience members wear to be super uncomfortable. In reality they're no worse than the Sleep No More masks. The antlers are a little annoying and totally unnecessary. But like a lot of things about Life & Trust, the masks seem to be the product of a certain aesthetic or viral moment the creators are desperately striving for. As Paul Hollywood says, most of what I saw felt like "style over substance."

The performances, all of the ones I saw anyway, were excellent. I tried to avoid characters that had excessively large groups of audience with them. Unfortunately, most of the familiar performers whose work in this new show I really wanted to see all seemed to have huge crowds with them at all times. Luckily, I didn't have to wander around for long before finding another character with few or zero people following them -- which may have been purely by chance or how the creators and performers designed the character tracks. Appreciated either way.

I saw a selection of scenes with the Miners, the Vaudeville Couple, Evelyn, Naima, the Maid, and Dorian, all of whom were played that night by extremely strong and engaging performers. I liked the tone shift with the Vaudeville Couple's scenes, how their sincerity and silliness turns performative and degrading as soon as they're offered money to entertain. I liked the working class Miners balance of hope and despair, the secret affair and role reversal between Naima and her Maid, and Dorian's shapeshifting physicality as his brittle and decadent façade begins to decay.

I followed the tarot reading Con Artist, basically from the top of the show. I should have made more of an effort to stay with them through their entire loop, but it just got to be too difficult to navigate the space as more and more people latched onto the character. The performer in this role was just subtle enough, just intimidating enough, which is no small feat because I imagine the character is extremely difficult to like, especially if you don't get the 1:1 early in their first loop where they explain some of their motivation. Interestingly, the 1:1 reveal of the Con Artist's lack of empathy gives them more humanity. They manipulate and steal from other characters in a way that feels curious, not outright evil. They made pointed eye contact with me in the scenes following the 1:1, marking me as an accomplice. When they eventually confront their own reflection in a hall of mirrors, they are at their most shattered and vulnerable. They collapsed, reaching out to me again for stability and comfort, but even this could have been a kind of manipulation. But you know what? I didn't mind, it was one of the few times in the show I forgot about the outside world all the other audience members around us and was actually… you know… immersed.

By the end of the last loop, my whole body hurt, I was sweaty and exhausted, and fully ready for the show to be over. But ohhh no, the finale had to happen first.

I'm sorry to say, unless you followed Faust Young Conwell or Mephisto -- or have a basic understanding of the primary framing narrative -- the finale makes no sense. The use of the finale space was smart, having the performers up on platforms allowed the audience to see most of the action (unlike some other recent immersive shows *COUGH*THE BURNT CITY*COUGH*), but the whole sequence was waaay too long. The lighting is cool, Conwell does a sick slow motion Matrix backbend at one point, and there's a striking final visual of the straightjacketed body in the water tank, but the whole thing could have been cut down to half the time and be just as impactful. And there was a curtain call?? I get wanting to honor the performers at the end of a show, but it took me right out of the moment. I mean, if you're going to do a show that's so similar in structure and style to Punchdrunk, why not end with character walk outs like they do? Although walk outs may have been difficult because because there's literally only one exit out of the finale space. Still. One of the things I like about immersive theater is that it doesn't feel like a play… I can stay in the world longer if there's no button on the end of the show, like a curtain call, you know?

Final Thoughts:

Reading back over this write up, it sounds like I had a bad time. And that's not the case, really I swear. There's a lot about L&T that works. It's beautiful, the original music is a nice touch (some people hate it, I really enjoyed and appreciated it), and the performances are truly pretty outstanding.

Mostly what doesn't work are the story and the structure. It doesn't have that hard-to-define Special Something that Punchdrunk shows have or even Third Rail Projects had with Then She Fell.

Life & Trust isn't going to haunt me the way other immersive shows do. It's trying too hard to be Instagramable, and thus sacrificing the soul and spirit it needs to be a lasting influence on this particular format of theater.

I'm glad I went and I absolutely did not hate the show, but it's simply too expensive to be worth multiple visits. Nor am I going to be thinking about it 10 - 15 years later.

P.S. I genuinely don't know if I'm going to do a write up on the Sleep No More show I saw on this trip. There's really not a lot to report. I might just write something when it finally closes… whenever that actually happens.

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die: Thoughts During the Premier last night Part 2: Everything Else

⚠️SPOILERS FOR NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE UNDER THE CUT!!!!⚠️

AND THERES OUR BACKSTORY YALL! 

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

She’s so evil I love her. 

OMG MINOR KEY

FORESHADOWING??? 

THE HATCHETFIELD ACTION NEWSSSSS

Kyle and Brenda are so adorableeeeee

AWEEEE EVERYONE’S ADORABLE!!! they’re gonna die. 

Mariah’s extensions kinda ate. 

THEY ARE SO ADORABLE IM GONNA CRY!!!! 

Jason and Kyle are so in love lol. 

N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks! 

FUCK clivesdale. 

FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU! 

AWEEEEE

I LOVE FORGIVENESS!!! 

oh no he’s gonna die. 

Here comes the horror bro. 

OMG ITS THE INTRO!

Get this shit a Kill Count. 

OH MY GOD THE GHOST MAKEUP I LIVEEEEEEEE unlike Richie. 

RIP Richie. He was just starting to live. 

I hate theatre kids /j

HE’S EATING

THE SMOKE CLUB OMGGGG

OMGGGG ITS THE NAME OF THE SHOWWWW

HE’S RUNNING AROUND THE AUDITORIUM!!! 

It’s giving 80s I love it. 

REPEAT AFTER MEEEE I LIVEEEE

WHO WILL PRAY FOR ME WHEN I’M GONEEEEEEE

OMG THE BACKGROUND GIRLIESSS

THAT SHIT HIT SO HARD OMGGGG

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEMEEEE

THE LIGHTNING!!!!  

FUCK CLIVESDALE. 

RUTH FLEMMING OMG

And we’re all caught up. 

GASP THE COOL BEANS WERE SPILT

THE HATCHETFIELD ACTION NEWS WITH DAN AND DONNA!!!! 

Fucking Clivesdale. 

oh I love fear mongering. 

YESSSS REPORTER JOEYYYYY DAN REYNOLDS I LOVEEEEE

OMG THEY’RE EATINGGGGG

OMG HATCHET SOMG EATS

NOT DONNA

“DAN!” 

Ziggy cameo!!!!! 

MAN IN A HURRY!!!!! 

I love a cameo song!!!! 

CHARLIE

THE LOCKDOWN OMG- 

She ATE HOLY SHIT!!!! 

GERALD

LINDA

THIS EATS I LIVEEEE 

JAZZ HANDS

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” 

HOLY SHIT THAT ATEEEE

Slaaaay miming Joey

The barbecue monologueessssss

What accent is that. Southern, New York, slightly British???

YESSS MIMING

PUNSSS

Oh Barbecue monologues is gonna fucking EAT. 

Fucking TREVOR. 

Thank you 10! 

Uh oh. 

OH she’s a theatre kid. Aw I’m gonna cry at her death. 

no the lighting is red. 

*Ruthy EATS* 

She just wants to be loved ☹️

YESSSS LAURENNNNNN 

Im gonna cryyyyy

NO THE RED LIGHTTTT

HER ANXIETYYY NOOO

NOOOO

Stop I’m cryingggggg

*Pets dead Ruthy’s head* 

That ATE omgggg

*Drinks hot water instead of coffee.*

Fuck Clivesdale. 

oh shit at the old Wayland place. Next to the body. Fuck. 

GOD’S PLAN 

OMG SHE SWORE

OMG SHE DREW A GUN ON A COP

OMG GRACE IS EVIL

OMG THE COP THEMEEEEEE

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN

PAUL AND EMMA HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT

CUP OF BLACK COFFEE THEME

IM GONNA DIE

HE’S ON  NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH

PETER IS HOT CHOCOLATE BOY CONFIRMED

If they start singing Your Fault I’m gonna scream.

Speaking of, “HWHAT???” 

OMG THEY’RE BREAKING UP. 

Love a good angry breakup sexual tension song

OH MY GOD HE CALLED HER A MEAN GIRL GET IT CAUSE MARIAH WAS REGINA GEORGE OH MY GOD

They’re gonna kiss. 

Grace swearing is hilarious

LOOK OUT SHE’S GOT A GUN

*whips out a Canadian accent* 

THE COPS THEME

INTO THE ALLEY OMG

*screams* 

Omg she’s crazy

ALL TOO WELL MAYOR??? 

COREY OMG

why is the mayor…. Kinda fineee??? 

HE KNOWS. HE KNOWSSSSSS. 

Why is mayor lauter….. kinda fine????

THE STARRY CHILDREN FUCK

AXES. 

It’s the lords fuck. 

Bro said fuck science. 

GASP. He’s killing his daughter. 

GASP X2! He foreshadowed this! HE SAID HE DIDNT CARE IF SHE DIED OMG I OMG OMG. 

Her dad is a cultist omg

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME OMGGGG

THE BLACK BOOK OMGGGGG

THE FUCKING- THE FUCKING DARK GODS!!! WIGGLY AND HIS FUCKERS

THE LORDS IN BLACK OMGGGGG

He already performed a ritual didn’t he

OMG HEAD IN THE CAR OMG GET IT

well shit there’s red lighting. 

shucks. nothing like traumatizing Corey and Mariah by killing their kid/parent

THE STARLIGHT THEATER (TGWDLM), THE MALL (Wiggly), OMG

Officer Shapiro eats. But NOT. Ben. 

Couldn’t avoid the tide pods huh? 

RIP Officer Shapiro, she was a bad bitch. 

bring about the apocalypse. The apotheosis is upon us. 

OH THAT HIT. 

ATEEE

HELLO FWENDY WENDSSSSS

I love them omggggg

OH GET IT CAUSE PETER IS RELATED TO TED AND THE TIME ONE. 

PALLY WALS!!!! 

OH MY GOD EVERYONE WHO’S A LORD HAS DIED. 

DROWSIE TOWNNNN

NO NEVER WHATEVER THEY WANT

why do I get Oompa Loompa vibes tho. 

WHAT DO YOU WANT STEPH!!!

Nooooooooo my boyyyyyyy

They’re fucking EATINGGGG. 

Oooooh they ate. 

Noooooooo my boyyyyyyy

IM CRYINGGGGGG. 

NOT A FUCKING REPRISE IM GONNA DIE

IM GONNA CRYYYY

I think I own that flannel. 

ANYWAY I’M BAWLING MY EYES OUT. 

OH MY GODDDDD

NOOOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD

IM FUCKING CRYING

IM CRYING

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Grace! Distraction! Yay! oh no. 

I hate this. 

Grace is so evil I love her. 

Sexxxx with a ghostttt-

ANGELA ATE THAT UP. 

Grace, you fucking queen. *Smokes a cigarette after sex.* 

LMAO HER CHASTITY GET IT. 

THAT ATE OMG MY BOY IS ALIVE OMG MY FAVORITE STRAIGHT COUPLE IS ALIVE!!! 

Rip Mayor Lauter, you were kinda hot. 

FUCK Clivesdale. 

OFFICER SHAPIROOOOO MY QUEEEN

OH MY GOD THE FIRST SPANKOVSKI MAN TO KNOW HOW TO DANCEEEEE

OH MY GOD ITS A POP PUNK REPRISE OMGGGG

oh this makes me smileeeeee

but the cliffhangers that come from Hatchetverse. What’s the twist. 

This homecoming flash mob is too good. I’m terrified. 

this is too good what’s happening. 

What’s the twist here. What is it. WHY IS THERE A BLACKOUT. 

THATS WHAT I THOUGHT. THATS WHAT I THOUGHT. 

aweeeeee this is gonna be bad. Yeah, get tricked Jason. 

She’s gonna kill him. 

Yup. the sequel: Horny Pervs Must Die. 

OH she’s a reverse succubus? 

YESSSSS TWIST ENDINGGGGG

DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE LMAOOOOO

Grace is psycho and I love her. 

Angela, my chaos hamster. 

WHO WILL PRAY FOR YOUUUUUU-

Darkness will spare my soul! 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ATEEEEEEE

THE FUCKING HATCHET SONG FOR THE CREDITS I LIIIIIVE!!!  

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

IT'S APRIL 14TH. THERE GOES JANUS TO BE BURIED ALIVE.

thank you to @fangirlwriting-stories and @lifewithoutrainydays for betaing this monster and/or egging me on! My love for Greek theatre, Greek tragedies, absurdist theatre, terrible puns, and pointed character studies have all combined into this: the Antigone AU, 13k of dialogue, monologue, and Remus waxing less-than-poetic about whatever the hell he wants. Is it an AU? Is it canon? Is it plausible to perform onstage? We just don't know.

the prologue/semi-explanation for what I'm doing (in poem form, what??) can be found here: the task of the translation. If you're curious about all of the other translations of Antigone I referenced, links to them can be found under the cut!

Brief, simple overview of Antigone's scenes and structure: here, if you want to get an idea of what's going on but don't want to read the full play.

Antigonick by Anne Carson: plain-text pdf (contains the original 'task of the translator' as a prologue), illustrated pdf, readthrough ft Anne Carson (read in English, despite the Swedish intro. Definitely a strange production, and not for everyone)

Antigone trans. Don Taylor: pdf, stage production by National Theatre (starring Jodie Whittaker and Chris Eccleston. costs about $11 to rent, but well worth it), interviews with cast and clips from that show (Youtube, free)

Antigone trans. Paul Woodruff: pdf