#greatest dog puppy

[lonertale]

Lonertale turns one year older today (July 17th). It's come a long way since day one, so here's to hoping the developing story enlightens fans. <3

[queen-daya]

Zendaya and Noon

[lexa-griffins]

Babygirl Lexa loves being held and embraced by Clarke during sex. She loves spooning or just sitting in her lap face to face while Clarke gently fucks her over and over again until she's overstimulated

Clarke does this thing where she is very very sweet and gentle with Lexa, holding her and kissing her and being so damn adorable with her while making Lexa cum over and over again until she is so sensitive she has to ask Clarke to stop.

Having Lexa on her lap and pampering her with kisses while Lexa shakes a little, already so overstimulated and Clarke will put on the most innocent look like

"Everything okay baby? 😊" while Lexa struggles with actually asking Clarke to stop because deep down she doesnt want to.

[arwenadreamer]

He had this whole arc about gaining supernatural abilities and then losing them again.

But the greatest superpower he had ever since he was born and never lost it.

I can think of only one (ONE!) incident in the whole show where the puppy eyes didn't work!

–Sam’s best feature—Puppy eyes appreciation post

[foldingfittedsheets]

Truly, one of the greatest love language is someone agreeing to eat something atrocious for your benefit.

My first experience with this was in college. My friend Charlie invited me to a jazz club. One would think he’d learned his lesson. I thought nothing of this and agreed to a fun night with a guy friend. We arrived and I saw nothing romantic in the outing.

The menu at the club was very traditional date food- steak, oysters, romancey food. But still, I didn’t catch on. This food didn’t sound like what I wanted. In fact, what I wanted was a hummus plate. Charlie took this turn of events with a slight wince but ordered one for us.

The hummus plate arrived. Sitting politely on the corner of the garlic bomb was a spicy pepper. Laughing, I teasingly dared Charlie to eat it. You see, this kind of rough humor was common among buddies. I thought we were in Buddy Rules. But Charlie was operating under Date Rules; eating the pepper would be a romantic test of his bravery.

He bit the pepper.

His skin was almost as pale as mine and he went bright red instantly, tears stood in his eyes as sweat broke out across his whole body in protest. He barely managed to swallow as he began coughing, his body reflexively trying to spew forth the poison in his mouth.

I was doubled over with laughter and didn’t feel bad until a few days later when Brendan informed me it had been a date. I scoffed initially and only slowly realized Charlie had been intending it as a date. I repented the pepper and promptly dated Brendan in self defense.

Charlies act of romantic heroism went unappreciated but the spirit was there.

Many years later when I’d given up on boys I was dating my beloved wife. Together we took a trip to Taiwan. One of the wonderful things about new places is the food. I still dream about the food in Taiwan. Even the humblest train station cream puff was several orders of magnitude better than any I’ve ever had in the states.

But one place we went was like. Italian food as interpreted by Taiwanese cooks. Some of the combos were as bizarre to me as many Italians probably feel American Italian food is. Specifics escape me, but it felt like I was dreaming some of the menu at the time. At the end we decided to get a chocolate fondue, because why not. We were on vacation.

The liquid chocolate was served with all the things one would normally expect, strawberries, sweets, the usual chocolate accompaniments. And then we saw the tomatoes. Tomatoes and chocolate. We all stared at the tomatoes in horrified fascination.

Now, I hate tomatoes. I can stand a tomato sauce but raw tomatoes and I have nothing to talk about. So I knew that if I tried it I’d find it as repugnant as I’ve always found tomatoes. But I was haunted by the idea that someone who actually liked tomatoes would like tomatoes in chocolate.

My beloved loves tomatoes. And chocolate. I turned the biggest puppy dog eyes on them and begged to know if the combination was actually somehow delicious. My wife insisted that it would be heinous. Still, they speared a tomato sacrifice and coated it in chocolate, for me. For me, they ate it.

It was so wretched that their face collapsed into instant regret. But they didn’t spit it out. They knew I got sick if people spit out half chewed food. So they soldiered on and swallowed the cursed chocolate fruit.

Their devotion utterly delighted me, and even years later I adore that they suffered that tomato to reassure me that indeed, it was bad.

[lqvesoph]

Puppy Love || LN4

lando norris x fem!reader

summary: Lando came home from his ‘best day at work’ and you take matters into your own hands to reunite the little puppy and your boyfriend

a/n: I couldn’t resist writing something about this bc that video has me in a chokehold

masterlist | taglist

"Baby, you won’t believe what just happened!!", your boyfriend exclaimed as he opened the door to your shared apartment.

You chuckled, moving out of the kitchen where you were making dinner to greet him in the hallway.

"Look! Oh my god!", he called, pulling out his phone and showing you a picture of him sitting on a chair, with an adorable little puppy in his arms. Your eyes widened. "Oh, Lan, that’s so cute!", you said, putting your hand in front of your mouth.

"I know right??", he spoke excitedly, swiping through his gallery to show you the other pictures. "Look! It just said down in my lap", he said, pressing play on a video.

"Lando, she’s adorable!", you muttered. "Yeah", he smiled. "Shame I can’t keep her." "She really did look incredibly comfortable on you", you agreed and looked up to find a sad smile on Lando’s face and put your hand on his cheek.

"Hey, cheer up", you whispered, pulling him in for a kiss.

"Soo, what’s for dinner?", Lando asked after pulling away, a slightly happier smile gracing his face now.

*~*~*

Later that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about that video Lando showed you. So, as quietly as you could you sat up in your shared bed and pulled out your laptop, searching for the shelter that he’d told you about.

You looked through the website and found the small dog. "Lia, three months old", you read as you clicked through the pictures.

Your fingered hovered over the blue button, hesitating for a second but one look at the sleeping boy beside you, gave you the reassurance you needed. As quietly as you could you closed the laptop and went back to sleep.

The next morning Lando was up before you, as usual. You found him in his sweaty training clothes in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water.

"Good morning", you greeted him, standing in the door and leaned against it. "Oh hey", he called, walking over and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. You scrunched your nose.

Lando rolled his eyes before giving you another peck. "I know, I’ll shower", he chuckled, walking past you towards the bathroom.

"Lan, I wanted to tell you that I’m flying to the UK for today", you called, making the boy stop in his tracks. "Why?", he questioned, turning around. You panicked for a second, not knowing what to tell him without revealing your surprise.

"Uhm, Mum wanted to go shopping together", you lied, slapping yourself internally. Lando frowned. "Uh, okay? I’m coming with you, when are we leaving?", he wanted to know.

"No no, you have your dinner with Zak and that businessman tonight and I’ll probably will sleep at my parents’", you quickly waved it off. Lando nodded, still eying you strangely. "Well, okay then. Let me shower and then I can drive you to the airport", he muttered, before turning around to enter the bathroom.

You let out a sigh, hating yourself for not telling Lando the whole truth but reminding yourself that his face tonight will he the greatest reward.

*~*~*

You touched down in Heathrow around 1pm, quickly texting Lando that you had arrived before rushing out of the airport to find a taxi that would take you to Battersea.

In front of the Dog’s and Cat’s home you stepped out, thanking and paying the driver before making your way to the door.

"Hi, I’m Y/n Y/l/n", you told the woman at the reception. "I made an online appointment yesterday to meet with a little puppy." The brunette smiled and nodded. "Let me check for a second. Ah, yes, just down the corridor and the second door to your left. Mia should be waiting for you there", she said, whereupon you thanked her and walked down to where she had described.

You knocked on the door and waited for Mia to call, but instead she opened the door, the same warm smile on her lips as the receptionist.

"Hi, you must be Miss Y/l/n, nice to meet you!", she greeted you, reaching a hand out for you to shake. "Nice to meet you too, and please call me Y/n", you replied, following her into the room.

"So, you are here for Lia, right?", she smiled as you walked closer to the play area of about five puppies. She then took one puppy with white and brown fur out of the area.

"Oh my god, she’s even more adorable in person", you muttered as the woman placed the puppy in your arms. "Heyy, little one", you whispered, softly petting her back.

"She really seems to like you", Mia noted and nodded towards the puppy who had closed her eyes and snuggled into your arms. "Can I keep her?", you asked softly. "We gotta go over some documents first but then, sure", Mia smiled and showed you to her office.

"Okay, first of all, do you live with anyone because if you do we need their permission as well", she stated and you looked up. "Yes, I do, I live with my boyfriend in Monaco. Actually, he met the little one yesterday at work", you chuckled.

Mia stopped writing and looked at her questioningly. "Excuse me?"

"Lando Norris, you recently signed a cooperation with McLaren and he came home yesterday telling me all about that little surprise you did for him and even showed me a few videos of Lia and I wanted to surprise him with this", you explained. First Mia looked at you rather skeptical, then she started typing on her computer.

"Okay, I guess you are telling the truth", she mumbled, turning around to show you pictures of Lando and you in the paddock, the search being ‘Lando Norris Girlfriend’. You tried to hide your chuckle but failed.

"I’m sorry but the possibility of you being a crazy fan is pretty high, I didn’t mean to insult you", she immediately apologized but you waved her off. "No, it’s fine. I understand", you chuckled as she blinked a few times.

"Okay, back to the questions. I guess you have the permission of your partner. Then Monaco you said?", she moved on. You nodded. "She’d have a little play buddy in Leo, a friend’s dog, and I’m sure Alex and Charles would be happy to help us with everything in the beginning", you explained.

You went over a few more details such as allergies and vet check ups. "Okay, last one is financial security but I guess that won’t be a problem", she chuckled and if you weren’t so focused on Lia you’d have been slightly offended at her judgmental tone.

She pushed the documents over the table for you to sign and watched as you scribble your name on the line.

"Then I am happy to tell you, you have just adopted a dog", she smiled and handed you her hand to shake.

You said goodbye to her, quickly asking where the next pet shop was to get the necessary things.

Then you made your way outside again, the small puppy in your arms. "Okay, little one, let’s go shopping and then we can go home and surprise your new daddy", you whispered, gently petting her head.

Your flight back home was scheduled to arrive at 8pm, from where you then took a taxi back to Monaco.

"Welcome home, Lia", you muttered, letting her down as you closed the front door. You could tell she was curious but careful at the same time, always keeping close to you.

You placed your bag with dog food, some bowls and toys on the kitchen counter and then went to sit down on the couch and Lia immediately jumped up to cuddle into your arms again, which made you chuckle.

About two hours later you heard a key in the door and Lando entering the apartment. You decided not to say anything and simply wait until he would come into the living room, although the lights of the TV still filled the room.

"Hello?", Lando asked. "Is anyone there?" Cautiously he entered the living room, placing a hand on his heart when he saw it was only you sitting there.

"Jesus, baby, I thought there was someone in our home!", he called. "I thought you said you’re only coming back tomorrow"

"Well…", you giggled and then lifted your arm to reveal the sleeping puppy on your arm. Lando’s eyes widened, scanning the little dog.

"Wha-", he muttered perplexed. "Meet little Lia. Again", you added giggling. "You- is- is that the puppy from Battersea?", he stuttered, sitting down next to you. You nodded with a smile.

"Wha- How- Did you fly to England just to-", he continued stammering, making you reach for his hand. "She loved you and you can’t fool me and tell me you didn’t feel the same. And about all the traveling, I can take care of her when I’m not coming to race weekends, Alex does the same. And she even has a little play buddy in Leo", you told him, interwinding your fingers.

"I love you so much, baby", he whispered and pulled you into a kiss. A small high pitched bark interrupted you and you pulled apart.

"Heyy, princess", Lando whispered, laying down so his head was level with the puppy in your arms. Lia got up and carefully sniffed Lando, probably recognizing his scent from just two days ago as she then cuddled up next to him.

You two laughed and petted her small body.

"She’s the cutest", you noted with a smile. "And you’re the best", Lando smirked up at you. "My two girls!"

yourinstagram

tagged: landonorris

liked by: landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, oscarpiastri and 1.526.182 others

yourinstagram: Welcome home little Lia💞

comments:

landonorris: my girlssss

alexandrasaintmleux: Omg I can’t wait for playdates!!

yourinstagram: Yessss omggg, lets leave the boys at home then

landonorris: Hey!

alexandrasaintmleux: Ofc

charlesleclerc: Hey!

lilyzneimer: The cutest omg!!

mclaren: So excited to meet the little girl

fan: Omg how cute is that!!

fan: The dog on the wheel lmaooo

fan: Already coming for Lando’s seat

> liked by: yourinstagram

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landonorris

tagged: yourinstagram

liked by: yourinstagram, mclaren, oscarpiastri and 2.628.529 others

landonorris: Newest member of the fam

comments:

yourinstagram: girl dad🩷

landonorris: Yessss

charlesleclerc: Lets go play paddle when the girls leave us…

landonorris: GREAT idea

carlossainz: I wanna meet her asap!!

oscarpiastri: Why couldn’t you get a cat…

landonorris: bc dogs are superior, duh

mclaren: Newest member of Mclaren🧡

> liked by landonorris

fan: OMG is that the dog from that video??

fan: WAIT YOU ARE ONTO SOMETHING

fan: I think so, yes

> liked by yourinstagram

fan: GIRL DAD LANDO NORRIS

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[sylvies-chen]

I think there’s something so deeply and intimately and morbidly true about The Last of Us’s primary thesis which is that humanity’s fatal flaw, in that very Shakespearian way, is that we are destined to care too much about one another so much so that we discard the collective entirely. like we have such a capacity to love the human race and humanity as a whole, to grow our communities and govern cities how we know best and foster such connection with the masses which we are part of, but it’s overtaken by our capacity to love even just a single other person. like one human can come into your life that creates such an intrinsic and passionate love in you— or maybe two people or a family’s worth or any small number— and you suddenly would burn entire villages down just to keep them safe.

joel doesn’t blink twice murdering to find ellie. he doesn’t look back when he decides to do what he does at the hospital later on. he has no remorse about any of it it, because this one girl has grown to mean more to him than any possible greater good could ever mean. and it’s reciprocal. ellie would— and does— do anything she can to help him, save him, protect him, and, eventually, to avenge him. because that’s what you do when you love someone. not when you love people. when you love someone.

and it’s selfish, in a way??? because we love these people and would do so much for them because they mean more to us than other strangers do. it’s exactly like an iteration of the trolley problem, actually. one track has your daughter on it and one track has fifty people. don’t even try telling me you wouldn’t go onto track B if it meant saving your daughter and her puppy dog eyes from the whimpering and pain and fear. The Last of Us says yes, you would. I would. we all would. and like yeah that is our greatest weakness, that we have such a unique ability to love a handful of people so deeply that our compassion towards community and strangers and the bigger collective starts to slip from view. but goddamn what a fucking great fatal flaw it is to have. we are all going to die and the world will burn because we loved another person too much.

[kajibunny]

you are my most favorite! ⋆⭒˚.⋆ w/ the wind breaker boys

✿ featuring: haruka sakura, hayato suo, ren kaji, hajime umemiya, jo togame, mitsuki kiryu ✿ contains: fluff, f!reader, established relationship ✿ a/n: this is quite near and dear to my heart! all of them have such unique personalities and interests, that i find myself reading their character profiles again and again hihi i hope you cuties like it~ (ㅅ´ ˘ `) ♡ ✿ wc: 1.7k

— your boyfriend definitely has his most beloved things and possessions, but his most favorite of them all? you, his favorite person.

ʚɞ sakura - 

you knew how much sakura loves omurice, and him sharing his food was definitely out of the question. however, he couldn’t resist how you lovingly stared at him while he ate the omurice you made for him like it was his last meal. 

“does it taste good, haru?” you asked, as he has not said a word since you handed over the special bento box you made for him. sakura nods, a small ‘hm’ escaping his mouth. you just love seeing him so happy and so full of life whenever food comes into the equation. 

“feed me too.” you murmured, pleading with puppy dog eyes. you hoped he'd catch on, sensing your wish to share a tender moment, just like those couples you’ve seen, sweetly feeding each other on their dates. 

sakura stops eating his omurice for a second, turning his attention to you and trying to absorb what you just said. “h-hah? you have hands, don’t you?” 

you pout and cross your arms at him. “it tastes better when it’s from you.” you put the spoon back in his hands, and open your mouth to say ‘ah’, waiting for him to give you a spoonful of his food.

he looks away with an evident blush on his cheeks. sakura found it difficult to say no to you, especially when you were being all cute like this. he scoops up some omurice with his spoon, and raises it up to your lips. “fine, but hurry up, it’s embarrassing…”

maybe sakura could make an exception and share his favorite food with his favorite person, after all.

ʚɞ kaji - 

kaji is generally quite protective of his things, his treasured headphones were a gift from the person he looks up to the most, his hoodie is among one of the few clothes he has in his closet, his lollipop was the only thing that kept him calm whenever he was close to throwing a fit of anger. 

that was until you came along and you became the thing he wanted to protect the most.

you and kaji were walking home together from your date, his headphones hanging around his neck the whole time, so he could listen to you talk. the night air was crisp, and kaji immediately noticed how chilly your hand was while he held it in his. he let go of your hand for a little while, much to your dismay.

“you’re cold, so stop whining.” kaji sighs, grabbing your hands and exhaling warm air on them, before taking off his hoodie and putting it on you, the softness of the fabric immediately making you feel warmer, making your cheeks heat up as well.

“thank you, ren.” you smiled, tiptoeing to kiss his cheek as you continued talking his ear off on the way home, fingers intertwined with his as you swayed them happily while walking. 

kaji couldn’t get enough of you like this - something in him just can’t resist how cute you look wearing his hoodie. maybe, he thought, this could be his new favorite thing.

as soon as the both of you arrived at your doorstep, you refused to let go of kaji’s hand. “i just want to be with you a little more, ren…” you said to him.

“we’ll see each other tomorrow. for now, here’s something for you to remember me by.” kaji pulls his lollipop out of his mouth, caressing your cheek with his thumb as he draws you in close, kissing you with so much want and need, making sure that he and the sweet taste of his lollipop flavored kisses are all you’ll ever think about for the whole entire night.

maybe, you thought, this could be your new favorite thing too.

ʚɞ umemiya - 

gardening is umemiya’s greatest passion, and when he found out you shared his love for it, he was over the moon. wanting to share something deeply personal, he decided to invite you to his most cherished place - his rooftop garden.

he takes your hand gently, leading you up the staircase until you two reach his garden. you were greeted by a breathtaking view of carefully arranged pots and planters, nurtured by umemiya’s own hands.

“wow, these are so pretty, haji!” you admire his plants with fascinated eyes, following him along into the plant beds where he kept his vegetables.

“these are my favorites!” he points at his lush and plump tomatoes, and he also shows you his other vegetables and sprouting seedlings. “they all have different needs, different personalities…they’re just like people, in a way.” he turns to you, with a look full of love and affection. you knew how much his little garden meant to him, as he always described it with such passion whenever he proudly showed you the images on his phone, updates here and there as well as his eyes sparkling with excitement while looking at them. 

kind of like the way he looks at you too.

“you know, you kind of remind me of this garden, sweet pea.” he smiles softly at you. 

“really, how so?” you tilt your head curiously.

he steps closer to you, as umemiya envelopes you in a soft embrace. “you make me want to take care of you, like i do with these plants.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head as you lean into him, feeling as cherished as the garden he so lovingly nurtured. 

ʚɞ togame - 

you’ve always been quite curious to try togame’s favorite drink, the one that’s always pressed to his lips - his beloved ramune. 

as you watched him, your eyes were locked onto the bottle in his hand, tracing every movement as he grasps it firmly, pressing down the plastic opener with his thumb, applying pressure to release the marble and all of the drink’s carbonation. he did all this with just one hand, the same hand that lifted the bottle to his lips for a sip.

you were too busy imagining those big, strong, calloused hands on you to realize that togame had started speaking.

“would you like a taste, angel?” he asks you, offering you the bottle of ramune. you were way too fixated on him and how attractive he is that you fumble slightly with your words. 

“a taste of you…r ramune, yes, of course!” you stammered, chuckling nervously as a blush crept up your cheeks, flustered by your own thoughts.

you didn’t miss the way he tried to cover up his smile by clearing his throat, handing you the drink, watching as you took a sip. “so? do you like it? or perhaps…” he trailed off, taking the ramune from your hands and setting it down on the table. 

“do you like this more?” in one smooth motion, he leans in close, his breath warm against your lips. togame’s mouth touches yours, a slow and gentle kiss that made your heart flutter, leaving a trace of his warmth on your lips even after he pulled away, his forehead resting gently against yours as you both smiled, breathless and content.

you had a feeling that togame wanted you more than he wanted the ramune.

ʚɞ suo -

suo’s love for tea is unmatched - he’s practically an expert who has a ritualistic passion for every step of the process. the only thing that can possibly surpass his love and devotion to tea? is his love and devotion to you.

he happily teaches you the art of perfectly steeping tea, but of course, knowing suo, he uses this as an excuse to get as close to you in proximity as he possibly can.

he hums contentedly as he embraces your form from behind, guiding your delicate hands as you grind the tea leaves, his breath tickling your ear as he whispers instructions.

yet his calm, soothing voice and the way he holds you makes it impossible to focus on anything other than the heat of his body and the intimate closeness you share. if anything, this proved to be more of a distraction than him being an effective teacher by any means.

who knew simply making tea could be this intimate?

“i can’t concentrate because of you, hayato.” you huff, feeling his body pressing against yours, trapping you against the kitchen counter.

he chuckles softly, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “hm? i haven’t done anything.” he teases, his tone light but with a hint of mischief. “this is just what’s necessary if you want to make good tea.”

you can’t help but blush, your heart racing. “what’s necessary? you being clingy with me?”

suo’s arms tighten slightly around you, pulling you even closer.

“exactly. the best tea is supposed to be made with love.” he whispers, his voice low and velvety, leaving you wondering whether it’s the tea or suo behind you making your heart steep in warmth. 

ʚɞ kiryu - 

“aww, i have to log in again.” kiryu sighs, pouting at his phone screen while you two cuddled on his cat-shaped beanbag chair like you do every night. you glanced over at his phone, his favorite game blasting him with countless notifications, demanding his attention, just as the two of you were getting comfortable.

you sighed softly, opening your palm toward him. “hand it over.” you said, “i’ll do your daily login bonus for you.” it was best to get it out of the way quickly so you could get back to what really mattered - more cuddle time with your sweet boyfriend.

kiryu’s eyes lit up with gratitude as he handed you the phone. “really? thank you, princess! i love you~”

you paused, fingers hovering over the screen, heart skipping a beat at his words. “mitsuki… did you just say-”

“yep, i love you!” he repeated without hesitation, his eyes sparkling with sincerity.

a smile tugged at your lips, warmth spreading through your lightly flushed cheeks. “...i might have to do this for you every night, then. also, i love you too.” you cooed at him.

kiryu’s grin widened as he pulled you even closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly. “okay then, i might have to do this for you every night, too!” he declared, peppering your face with playful kisses.

“help, i won’t be able to log in for you if you do that!” your joyful giggles filling the room as kiryu continued his affectionate assault. his phone lay forgotten as the two of you continued to tumble into a fit of laughter, your smile being the biggest bonus he could ever achieve.

© kajibunny 2024 / all rights reserved

[iamgonnagetyouback]

𝟷𝚔 || 𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐊

♡ ︎ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You go through a whirlwind of emotions when drunk.

♡ ︎ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: drunk!reader, Reader annoying Sirius

♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: James Potter x drunk!Reader

You were slumped between James and Sirius, giggling uncontrollably, your legs swinging off the armrest of the couch as you hiccuped. The room was warm, and everything felt so funny. Especially Sirius's hair.

"You know what, Pads?" you slurred, poking Sirius in the cheek. "You look like a... a giant poodle. But a mean one. Like, the poodles at the dog shows that bite people."

Sirius's jaw dropped. “A poodle? You—no, absolutely not. I am—what did you say I was, James?”

James was trying not to laugh. "Uh, majestic, I think."

"Majestic!" Sirius pointed at you dramatically, like that would prove his point.

You snorted so hard you almost fell off the couch, but James caught you, his arm wrapping around your waist and steadying you. "Sure, sure, 'Padfoot the Majestic Poodle.'"

"It's mostly because of your hair—" you giggled, reaching out to pat the top of his head, missing entirely and booping his nose instead. "It's so fluffy, like a big, angry puppy!"

Sirius frowned, swatting your hand away dramatically. "I am not a dog, and my hair is majestic, thank you very much."

"Fluffy," you repeated, poking him in the cheek now. "Sirius, fluffy like a… like a poodle!"

James tried to hold back a laugh as Sirius looked properly offended, folding his arms with a huff. "Are you serious?"

You snorted at his pun. "No, you’re Sirius!"

Remus groaned from beside Peter. "Oh no. Not this again."

Peter shook his head, barely holding back his own giggles. "Here we go…"

“Are you lot serious right now?” Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms. “A poodle. Really.”

“Sirius is serious,” you added, and then cracked up at your own joke. “Sirius is Sirius—wait, Remus, did you hear that? It’s his name.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a smile tugging at his lips. “Yeah, we got it.”

“But I’m not a poodle,” Sirius muttered, still offended, while you continued to giggle.

James still eyed the bottle of firewhiskey in your hand like he wanted to take it away. Not that you noticed. Nope. You were too busy trying to poke Sirius in the cheek.

“You’ve got—got something there,” you slurred, leaning in far too close to Sirius’s face.

“What? Where?” Sirius asked, looking genuinely concerned as he wiped at his cheek. “Did I get dirt on me?”

“Yeah, it’s called your face,” you giggled, falling back onto James and laughing like it was the funniest thing you’d ever said.

Sirius gasped dramatically, hand over his heart. “How dare you! James, do you hear this? Your girlfriend is cruel.”

You waved him off, turning your attention back to James, who was trying not to smile. “He’s just mad ‘cause he’s not as pretty as you,” you said, squinting up at James like you were stating the most obvious fact in the world. You reached out and patted his face, a little too hard. “So. Pretty.”

James chuckled, grabbing your hand before you could slap him again. “Alright, love, I think you’ve had enough for one night.”

“Noooooo,” you whined, stretching out the word. “M’fine, Jamie. Look! I can sit up perfectly straight.” You immediately leaned to the side, almost toppling over onto Peter, who yelped and quickly scooted out of the way.

“Maybe… maybe a little too much,” Remus said from beside Peter, watching with raised eyebrows.

“Remus!” you called, throwing your arms out toward him. “You’re so boring, you know that?”

“Hey, I like boring,” Peter mumbled from his chair, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, Wormtail likes boring!” you repeated, pointing to Peter like he was your greatest proof.

You sat up suddenly, looking around the room, eyes wide and dramatic. “Wait. Wait. You guys can’t ever leave me, okay? Promise.”

The Marauders exchanged confused looks. “Uh—okay?” Peter said hesitantly.

“I’m serious—not like Sirius serious—" you hiccuped, "But you guys can’t leave. We have to stay friends forever or I’ll—I’ll hex all of you!” You threw your hands up, trying to look menacing, but it came off more like a flailing octopus.

James quickly wrapped his arms around you as you dramatically collapsed into his chest. “Love, we’re not going anywhere.”

“Speak for yourself,” Sirius muttered, though he was still looking somewhat offended by your earlier insult. “I don’t think I can handle another ‘your face is the problem’ comment.”

But you weren’t having it. You pointed a shaky finger at them, wobbling slightly. “You better not, Sirius Black! Or I’ll—” You narrowed your eyes dramatically, trying to look intimidating. “I’ll hex you into next week! I know spells, you know!”

James bit his lip, trying not to laugh as Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What spells?”

“Spells!” you repeated, waving your hands in the air as if that was a valid explanation. “Dangerous ones!”

Peter snorted. “I’m terrified.”

Sirius held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright! Merlin, you’re scary when you’re drunk.”

“Good,” you said, immediately softening. “Because I love you guys, even though Sirius is a poodle, and Remus won’t laugh at my jokes, and Peter—well, Pete, you’re just so cute, aren’t you?”

“Thanks,” Peter mumbled.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you reached out, pulling all of them into a big, awkward group hug. “I just love you guys, okay? Don’t leave me… ever.”

James chuckled, his hand warm on your back. "Alright, let's get you to bed, yeah?"

“I don’t wanna go to bed,” you pouted, leaning into James like a rag doll. “I wanna stay here and annoy Sirius more.”

“I’m not listening to this nonsense,” Sirius huffed, throwing his hands up.

“Oh, but Sirius—don’t you wanna cuddle like a big, fluffy dog?” you teased, blinking innocently.

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to regret this in the morning.”

James stood up, pulling you gently with him. “C’mon, love, you’re barely standing.”

“Wait, no, no, no—you're all amazing, even you, Remus, boring and all.” You paused, eyes widening as if you had just realized something horrible. “Wait—don’t ever leave me, guys.”

Your lower lip started to wobble.

“Don’t leave me! You can’t! What if you just disappeared? Poof! Gone! And I’m all alone. I’ll die. I’ll actually die.”

James squeezed your hand, leaning down to whisper in your ear. “I think you’re driving everyone mad, love.”

You looked up at him, beaming. “But not you, right, Jamie?” you gushed, running your fingers through his messy hair, making it even worse. “You’re perfect, James Potter. Like… a Quidditch god! And your glasses are so… shiny.”

Sirius fake gagged. “Ugh, I’m gonna be sick.”

“Shush, poodle!” you shot back at him, your words blending together into a cute mess of slurs. “You’re just jealous ‘cause James is my shiny glasses boy.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a fond smile tugging at his lips. Peter was full-on laughing now, while James was just gazing at you, completely smitten.

You huffed but allowed him to help you stand. “You’re the best, James,” you said, leaning heavily on him as he started to guide you toward the stairs.

“You’re pretty great yourself,” James chuckled, tightening his grip on your waist so you wouldn’t stumble.

Just before you reached the dormitory, you stopped, looking up at him with bleary eyes. “No, really, Jamie. You’re the best. Don’t ever change.”

James grinned down at you, his heart melting a little. “I won’t, love. Now let’s get you to bed before you start threatening to hex me too.”

You smiled sleepily, letting your head rest on his shoulder. “I’d never hex you. You’re too pretty.”

And with that, you were out, leaving James with a fond smile and the rest of the Marauders shaking their heads behind him.

Downstairs, Sirius was still sulking. “A poodle… unbelievable.”

i love drunk!reader so much!!

[thelostconsultant]

Lunch with a stranger

pairing: Charles Leclerc x female reader

summary: You've seen Charles before, but it's only when he interrupts your lunch when you exchange more than one word.

You were so lost in the screen of your phone that you didn't even notice the furry baby shark approaching you.

As you sat at a table on the street with a glass of ice cold lemonade and some snacks serving as your lunch, you talked to your friends in a group chat to arrange your plans for the weekend. Brunch in the morning, beauty salon before lunch, then a quick shopping trip in the afternoon.

And then you felt it; sharp teeth gently nipped the skin on your calf until they were replaced by the little creature's tongue as it licked your leg. You leaned to the side to see the criminal under the table and saw an adorable little puppy who looked surprisingly excited to see you.

But why did it look familiar? You could have sworn you had seen this dog before, and not just once, yet your mind couldn't put the pieces together to help you out. Then you noticed the leash and followed the thin line to the owner. A familiar face. That explained everything.

“I'm sorry, he likes to make friends,” the guy said with a sheepish grin.

You waved your hand in a way to tell him it was no problem, then returned your attention to your phone and lunch, expecting him to move on. But he didn't. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him pick up the dog and take the seat across from you.

“I'm Charles, by the way,” he said.

Nodding, you took a sip of your drink, enjoying the way it cooled you down from the inside. “I know. Our nation's greatest hero as of now.”

You didn't want to talk to anyone today, especially not to someone you knew from your psychologist's office, but he seemed really determined to get more than a few words out of you. You had never spoken to each other more than politely greeting the other, and honestly, you didn't even think he would remember you.

But he did, apparently. He waved over the waitress to come and take his order, ignoring your silent protest, then looked at you with an intrigued glint in his eyes. “So you watch F1?” he asked casually.

“I watch the Monaco GP since all I have to do is go out to my balcony, but that's the most I see from it,” you replied, not missing the disappointed look that crossed his face. But he didn't say anything, he just scratched his dog’s soft spot behind his ear. “What?”

Charles looked up with a questioning hum. “What what?” You rolled your eyes, but since the waitress had just arrived with his order, you didn't want to go into the details. “Okay, look,” he began once you were alone again, “I just… I see you at Dr. Brezzo’s office whenever I can go on my normal schedule, but we never have the chance to talk. So when Leo found you, I thought I should take this chance.”

He seemed like such a sweet guy, but at the moment you didn't need new people in your life, especially not ones who lived in the spotlight. You just wanted to have some quiet and peaceful months until your meds kicked in, until you were finally back to normal. You'd been doing great, it would have been a shame to risk it.

But when you opened your mouth to tell him you weren't interested in this chat, he gave you the damn puppy eyes as if he had known what you wanted to say. With a sigh, you nodded and stuffed a forkful of salad in your mouth. He waited patiently, even began eating his own food while making sure he gave his dog a bite so he wouldn't be left out.

“You look tired,” you noted, earning a surprised look from him. “A friend of mine is a huge F1 fan and he told me about how terrible things have been for you. I'm sorry. Is that why you need therapy? No, wait, don't answer this, it's too personal. Let's talk about something else.”

For a while he was just watching you with a barely visible smirk, and then he surprised you with what seemed to be an honest response. “I would go to therapy anyway, my job is stressful enough on its own, but yeah, the team's recent performance is definitely something I need to learn to deal with.”

“I'm sure there are highs and lows in every aspect of life, so maybe it won't last much longer,” you offered with a warm smile.

Charles nodded. “That's what I'm hoping for. What about you? Why do you go to therapy?” he asked cautiously.

Well, since he was honest with you, there was no reason to lie. It's not like he would go around telling everyone about it. “I have bipolar disorder. The meds will hopefully work, but I need therapy too. Makes things easier,” you added with a shrug.

He was awfully quiet, and for a moment you expected him to stand up and leave. Wouldn't have been the first time, you had already lost a friend thanks to this. But then he picked up his glass and watched the bubbles move inside as he broke the silence with a smile. “You look well to me.”

A small smile crept on your lips when you heard this. “Thanks. Honestly, I feel better too,” you said proudly. Because you were proud of what you achieved in a short amount of time.

Then you both returned to your respective lunches, but Charles had to focus on keeping a healthy balance between feeding himself and Leo for now. It was adorable, really. You felt like you should say something, anything to break the silence, but he didn't seem to mind it. To him it might have been comfortable, because when he noticed you staring, he flashed a smile at you without saying a word, then returned to his lunch.

A good fifteen minutes later your phone had begun to blow up. Your friends were sending dozens of messages into the group chat, making your phone ping and buzz non-stop. With an apologetic smile, you took a look at it, and your breath caught in your throat as you tapped the links they threw in there.

“Oh, shit,” you muttered, a painful groan leaving your throat when you noticed you'd been tagged in several social media posts too.

Charles looked at you with a puzzled look. “What happened?” he asked.

Instead of answering, you just showed him your phone. He kept scrolling, his eyes growing wider as he began to process the dozens of posts and hundreds of comments about the two of you having lunch together. It was insane how fast rumors flew across the internet, and it didn't make you happy at all.

Despite being born and raised in Monaco, you had been taught to stay under the radar your whole life. Your parents made sure no photos of you would be published anywhere, and you were trained to do everything in a way that kept you away from the spotlight. People didn't know your name, they barely even knew your parents’ name, which was a good thing.

Well, so much for that.

“Hey, it's okay. Just a few photos,” Charles offered as he gave you back the device and placed his hand on your arm. “They'll move on soon, I promise.” When he saw you were still upset about it, he spoke up again. “Look, I think you already knew I wanted to ask you out, so if you would say no anyway, this is the time to tell me. I wouldn't blame you.”

How could he be so sweet? You did have a feeling that's where this conversation was going, but you weren't sure until now. Now that you knew, you had to figure out how to decide. When he showed up, you were sure you didn't want anything. But now? Maybe getting to know him better wouldn't be so bad after all.

“It's okay. I think I can handle it,” you told him with a small smile.

Your positive response made him smile too as he looked down at the puppy in his arms. “You heard that? You'll get all the kisses and cuddles you want.” He looked up at you with a playful look in his eyes. “Maybe I will too,” he added.

[vampiredaisiesss]

vice | homelander x reader

noun

a weakness of character or behaviour; a bad habit.

tw: gaslighting, homelander giving oral, p in v sex, homelander is a manipulative bitch, dubious consent.

"I let my anger get best of me, okay?" he says softly, still supporting that puppy dog look in his eyes. "I shouldn't have lasered that poor guy."

But you've known him for so long, You can see past his bullshit anytime. That's why you cross your arms over your chest and keep yourself mum. You were not going to give in to him today.

He takes a calculated step forward. Gloved hands reach for the hem of your dress, playing with it like a child played with the edge of its mother's dress. But there's nothing pure about it.

Every touch of his drips with sin. A venom that must have infiltrated your heart for you continue to love him despite all he is.

Suddenly, he's on his knees in front of you. The caped crusader makes sure your eyes stay locked to his ocean ones throughout. His hands continue bunching up the edge of your dress. You let out a exasperated sigh, your own reaching out to get his off.

"John, stop," It's too late. His lips press to the inside of your thigh, right above your knee where he knows you are sensitive. "What are y-"

He sinks his teeth in the supple flesh, letting a moan drag out of your throat. Then lays his tongue flat against the bite mark, enclosing it using his lips. He starts to suction around it, only leaving your skin to continue his ministrations upwards.

He's so close to where you always need him the most. So close it makes something inside your belly liquify into a warm, wet puddle.

"John, please..." you sound uncertain. are you begging him to continue or begging him to stop? even though you intended for the latter, your voice comes out as a manifestation of the former. "Please, stop."

You grab a handful of his hair as he nears your core, paying your words no heed. He looks up, piercing blue eyes boring into yours, and licks a long strip up your slit.

A groan escapes his mouth, his hold on your thighs prying them further apart. You have to lean back on the wall to keep your upper half upright as he lifts both your legs on either side of his shoulders.

At your refusal towards a response, something in his gaze turns. Desperation becomes laced with arrogance and the fine line between the two starts to shrivel.

His red gloved fingers start painting your skin possessively red.

"You have America's greatest superhero on his knees for you, ravishing your sweet cunt night after night," he growled, lips attaching to your clit in circles. "And you continue being a bitch about some godforsaken piece of shit that probably would've taken advantage of you, if I hadn't intervened."

Your mouth is opened in permanent gasp. No noise comes out of it. He has successfully shut you up, and he knows it by how well your body is reacting you him.

Your hands pull at his hair with every brush of his tongue, thighs clenching around his head in a vice like grip.

"What more do you want, huh, before you stop being an ungrateful little brat?" his voice comes muffled from your thighs.

He has this ability of unhinging his jaw like a snake, devouring you whole. He torments your clit with fast, but light strokes, dragging it down to thrust it inside of you. When his lips aren't attached to your bud, his nose fills the role, and you buck your hips desperately to feel yourself rub deliciously against the length of it.

White hot lava is flooding through your veins. You feel it consuming you alive.

His fingers replace his tongue inside of you. He has a habit of keeping his gloves on when he has a point to prove. And they help him prove it. The rubber makes his already thick fingers thicker. It gifts his already impressive skills friction. Pleasure collides with pain in your belly, pulling you over the edge, into a harsh undercurrent.

And it gives him power over you. The only power he has always had.

America's greatest superhero fucks you like it can save him from drowning. He keeps your whole weight effortlessly pinned to the wall, hips meeting yours at a bruising pace. His hair is a mess, his face covered in you. When he shoves his tongue into your mouth, he wants you to taste yourself on his tongue.

He's the perfect specimen, right down to what's between his legs. He's thick and long with a curved tip that hits all your sweet spots. When he's inside you, it's like a drug. He washes over you with a certainty that dulls everything else.

He moulds you to his will.

"John, I'm sorry," You breathe out in the crook of his neck, hands gripping his shoulder like you'd fall without him. "I'm so sorry."

"Shh. It's okay, sweetheart. You're okay," he coos at you, holding you tighter against his body. His left hand cradles your head while he pounds you harder into the wall.

You can feel the cracks forming on the wall where his hand is placed at your side. His thrusts are becoming more frantic. "You fe..feel so, so good, baby," he whisper against your ear. "Made just for me."

Within seconds, he's finishing inside you with a loud growl. His hips tremor slightly as his head tips back, teeth gritted in pleasure. After he catches himself, he tends to you, letting any regret in your mind dissolve into self-doubt over the course of a long, languid kiss.

[sugudoe]

➥ ──── MOMMY MILKERS ‼️ BITCH. ღ

gojo satoru is the greatest mind behind MIB, also know as MU IOTA BETA, although is a inside joke the name Mommy mIlkers Bitch, because he thinks there is a large amount of members with huge breasts. Satoru is filthy rich and spoiled, he was a rainbow baby and an only child for some time, everything he wants he can have. his parents only asked him to go to college for business administration, so one day, gojo’s enterprise can be in his good hands. he doesn’t mind, had no plan of life instead of just enjoying it, but he hopes he can still have a lot of vacations all around the world. that’s actually his favorite thing to do, just get up from the bed and travel. gojo and the MIB were pretty popular on campus, but what took their social medias sky rocketing was the brilliant idea to create a tik tok account for their fraternity, showing their parties and random funny moments. of course, what everyone really wants to see, is their fucking beauty. he is the older adoptive brother of megumi, who is too young for fraternities, but gojo thinks he can bend the rules if megumi wants to get inside (gojo can’t & he doesn’t).

geto suguru is studying graphic designer by his choice, although his parents disagree, they can’t say no to him — after all, they are scared for their son and want him to be happy. truth is, geto and gojo had been best friends since high school, and it’s no secret that suguru tries to hide about his long battle with depression. things are getting better as of lately, specially now that his two younger sisters, mimiko and nanako, are allowed to have a cellphone and had been calling him daily. geto can be found in three different places, besides the MIB’s house — the art room of college, choso’s tattoo parlor and in the garage with sukuna, although for only a few minutes before he himself leave with his bike, that he calls his love. he is the vice-president, and helped gojo with the ideas to create the house, he also is the reason why nanami got inside because suguru knew they would need someone that knows how to be an adult, he got surprised with nanami’s true personality later, but hey, he is doing a good job, no complains. his favorite companions outside of the members are the pets and shoko, he adores her very much, she is also a best friend from high school that cared for him in his most vulnerable depressive episodes.

zen’in toji comes from the respected family zen’in, but unlike his relatives, toji does not give a fuck about reputations and traditions. that has casted him aside, something he is no longer sad about, he actually loves that he can do as he pleases. he study physical education, has always had a talent for fights and training, and likes the idea to be able to teach others some day. his first students was his two little cousins, maki and mai. he used to work as a partial time private trainer, but after tik tok found out, it was getting too uncomfortable with those new clients, so he started to train his friend sukuna and his little brother, yuji, the payment is extraordinary. he has a pitbull puppy named kitana and she is one of the pets at the house, and his pride and joy. he got inside MIB because gojo wanted to have him, toji refused at first, until satoru showed him the private gym of the house and toji was sold right away. he gets weirdly along with megumi whenever the boy comes visit, they bond over their dogs and strangely looking resemblance.

nanami kento is not the MIB’s president, but he stills acts like it, and gojo is more than happy to let him have that unofficial position. gojo makes the parties and pick the box with candidates names, nanami takes care of the expenses and pick the best to get into, to avoid fame seekers and people with bad reputation — some thinks he started that after gojo put sukuna inside the house. nanami takes care of the formal parts, that’s mostly influenced by his finance majoring, he spends most of time inside his room studying or bakery hopping to experiment new pastries. don’t let this take you away from the truth, this man is not a calm, educated and study inclined person, he is half-french and therefore gojo has to be careful, or nanami will start a revolution and put satoru out of the house. he easily gets distracted by his interests and his anger, and since MIB becoming a hit on the internet, he is extremely mad. nanami cares a lot about his private life, he blocked gojo on twitter after satoru quoted kento’s account and he gained a lot of weird followers — he blocked most and went private. nanami is very found of ino, and as the initiation process of complying to the older members’s request, he had to shave his head (suguru demanded as a revenge for cutting his waist long hair to his shoulder) ino was quite sad, but did it, nanami did as well to support the youngest. surprising everyone, because nanami loves his long blonde hair as well. everyone was touched, so gojo cut his as well, kinji dyed on ino’s choosing color (purple) and even sukuna did as well, but red — all was done by kinji’s partner, kirara.

kamo choso is the middle brother of sukuna and itadori, through their shared mother. he is studying computer science, but everyone knows he is doing just to get the degree, give to his mom and go do his own thing — tattoos! ever since high school, he started to work in tattoo shops as receptionists, then he started a course and now he owns his own mini parlor near campus, named garu’s tattoo, because he is often compared with the character (it has absolutely nothing do to with the fact he used to let his younger brother do his hair the same way, everyday for high school). choso doesn’t trust anyone but himself to make his own tattoos, but he folds easily when yuji asks to try, so he has a mini spider-man doing peace signs on his calf. it’s his favorite tattoo. he got into MIB because he started to be friends with his favorite client, geto, and suguru invited him. choso’s mom separated sukuna’s father and got with choso’s dad, then she left and met itadori jin, he accepted all her sons as his, and choso secretly hopes one day jin will adopt him. he likes that MIB went viral because now he has more clients, what he doesn’t like is how everyone views him as a bad boy, when he is clearly a sweetheart.

shiu kong is a transfer student from south korea, and just like nanami, he is majoring in finance, following his dad’s and grandad’s steps. his family is very rich and stoic, but shiu came to the world in a completely different way. he likes to crack jokes, smoke a cigarette every hour, and to make his family hair get white earlier. the last post he has on instagram is a video of him doing hearts, but purposely he posted because it looked like a middle finger. shiu is best friends with everyone, but mostly sukuna and toji, and outside of it he’s friends with shoko and uraume. he thinks it was bound to happen to be a hit on the internet, because of his funny and chaotic way! his twitter is where he shows his true self, actually, the header is his own picture from the day after fucking a neighbor before moving out of the apartment to MIB’s house. it’s been a month and a half and he’s feeling the effects of not getting laid in some time, not because he doesn’t have options, gojo says he wants someone to match his freak while doing a dance — he slapped gojo after that. the reason for he to be in MIB is because he thought it would be funny to piss off his dad, it worked.

hiromi higuruma is the most normal person in the house, which is something to worry about. his free time used to be spend traveling to rural areas of japan, now he stays in the sofa with achilles, his cat. he used his money to make a game room in the house with lots of pool tables and videogame consoles. he likes to bet with everyone, and he keeps winning. talking about that, everyone avoids to argue with him, at first he cared too much and would own all the discussions, specially when he would bring out the projector and show evidence of how he was right — don’t fucking argue with a lawyer. nowadays he is much chill, that’s obviously because he is in exam season and keeps inside the house or library, he left the group chat to focus on his projects and the court hearings he now attends. nanami is the one to send him all the messages he needs to see and to lend his phone in case hiro wants to add something to the chat. hiro was obliged to be part of MIB by his best friend, nanami. oh, the classmate in his twitter’s bio is utahime iori, she doesn’t now his twitter and he doesn’t know hers.

ino takuma is a lucky motherfucker. he is the youngest at the house and the newest member, out of many candidates, nanami chose him, and for that he is eternally grateful for his senior. majoring in history and having a talent for photography, ino likes to be outside all of the time, he takes pictures of every bright thing that seems to copy his happy aura, everyone finds him adorable. nanami tried really hard to keep him away from gojo, but it happened eventually, satoru is the one that matches his freak and they both kept adding fire to the other crazy ideas. they are the ones doing weird challenges and pranks on the tik tok account, and nanami keeps grounding them for it. besides hiro, achilles adores ino and is often on his lap. takuma introduced the movie “house bunny” to the boys once and now gojo wants to have the “sacrifice a virgin” party, after he found out ino is a virgin. he is embarrassed, but still thinks i’ll be awesome to slide down a fake volcano and kiss a pretty girl. . . maybe more.

ryomen sukuna is. . . something. everyone knows that one of the reasons MIB’s tik tok became a hit is thanks to his quick appearance, after all he was already know on social media before, ryomen is a professional boxer, as a way to let his anger issues dissipate and avoid hurting his brothers or friends, he punches sand bags with toji and later, willingly strangers. he is know as “one punch man” because one time he was seriously pissed with his dad, went to the ring and with just one punch, won the fight — he hated it, he needed more punches throw. ryomen is majoring in forensic science, when asked why he says is because he wants to know how to get away with a murder properly, of course he is joking but the stoic face sure scares everyone. adding to his curriculum, he also likes to repair cars, MIB’s garage is filled with everyone’s cars and there is space for sukuna’s three vintage babies, he always finds some problem in them whenever he needs to clear his mind. sukuna’s best friends are uraume, shoko and shiu, because they all don’t give a fuck about his anger issues and treat him normally. he is adored by kinji’s partner, kirara, and he actually adores them as well, but he avoids them because he can’t say no to kira, and they try to make ryomen a model. sukuna is, with choso, the target of people with the “i can change him” mentality, he adores it because it’s fucking funny the desperation. he would rather eat glass than admit, but he’s only in MIB because choso was scared to go alone, and he wants for yuji to come as well when he gets of age, he thinks his younger brother will like it. he is a good brother, he just doesn’t say much, good thing choso and yuji understand him and love him either way.

kinji hakari is the only member who is in a serious relationship, if anything, he is the only one getting any action. he never had any plans of being in college, only following his partner and luckily discovering a talent in fashion school, that was what got gojo satoru’s attention, and he begged for hakari to be part of the MIB. he almost declined, but thought it would be cool, and with his baby’s permission, he accepted. kinji brings more chaos to MIB, he likes to be the cause of his friends headache in the group chat, and also to get blackout drunk in the parties and make out with kirara on every surface. he got a lot of attention on his social media as well, but he does not give a fuck, because he thinks everyone is trying to get into his pants and he is a loyal dog man, so he says no no interactions with anyone besides his friends and love.

✶ 𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: all the appearances, are just for reference, there is no fancast just pics with the characters vibes. you can imagine them as you please. but i did edited sukuna’s hair so applause. i know nanami is half danish, but i want the revolutionary gene of france on him. TOJI’s AND GOJO’s ig has miD instead of miB, pretend you didn’t see it, pls.

✶ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: please comment if you would like to be tagged. all the chapters will be linked in this post and with the first tag @minzxec @d3jecteddoll @shuuji71 @emilyywhyy @ducky1232 @mfcherry

[bachiras-toaster]

ness being pathetically loyal : ̗̀➛

ALEXIS NESS x f!reader

wc. 1.2k

cw. explicit, but no smut

Ness, unfortunately one of his greatest weaknesses, was his jealousy. And it was very often that it waded him to situations that caused you to snap at him whenever he pried to much on topics that weren’t ever that serious. This time, you told him off for accusing you of flirting with Isagi, which led him to realise that he had spoken out of line once again.

Alexis's expression fell, and he looked away guiltily. He knew he had gone too far, but he couldn't help himself. The jealousy was like a monster inside of him, taking over his mind and driving him to do irrational things. He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry.

“I'm not accusing you of anything," he said quietly, looking down at his feet, ashamed to meet your eye as he stood in front of you on the couch. "I just... I don't like seeing other guys around you." It was a pathetic excuse, but it was the truth.

“You really do get too jealous.” You murmured bitterly, causing his heart to shatter a little when you turned to face away from him to stare at the wall instead.

When you had refused to meet his eye, he immediately went pale and fell down to his knees to bow to you, babbling desperate apologies. Alexis felt like a defeated man, completely exposed and vulnerable. He had never felt this horrible before, not with anyone else. It was as if Isagi had become a stumbling block in his relationship with you, and he couldn't help but see him as a threat. His heart skipped a beat as you moved away from him. He hated seeing her upset, and he knew his jealousy was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry.” he whispered, bowing his head down.

“It’s like you’ve completely forgotten who your girlfriend actually is.” You tutted, laying your palm atop of his fluffy head of hair as he bowed.

Shamefully, Alexis couldn't help but grin down at the ground a little at the comment, feeling relieved that you were still able to view him as someone he could belong to; when he lifted his head back up, he hid his smile and feigned innocence with a puppy-dog expression.

"I haven't forgotten, it’s just that sometimes... It's hard to remember.” He admitted anxiously.

“So helpless.”

"I can be pretty helpless when it comes to you.” He replied, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of being at your mercy. He undoubtedly loved the feeling of being under your control—it made him feel whole, like he finally had a purpose. He leaned up so he could rest on his knees instead before you, his hands placed atop your kneecaps like an excited dog.

“Is that the case?” You whispered darkly as your hand slowly traced down his waist, hovering just over the crotch of his pants. Alexis's breath caught in his throat as your hand brushed against his crotch, and he felt a surge of excitement course through him.

"Yes," he breathed, feeling himself harden under your touch. "I am helpless for you."

“Then you know better than to go accusing me of things, hm?”

"I'm sorry," Alexis repeated, his voice hoarse with desire. "I just... I couldn't help myself." He leaned in closer to you, his lips barely brushing against your ear the more he leaned up. "Please forgive me… My Empress." he whispered.

“I’m not sure if I should…” You said with a feigned solemness, turning your head away. “People who speak out of place… Upset me.”

"Please don't be upset with me.” He pleaded, his fingers intertwining with hers where they rested on the couch. Alexis groaned, feeling his arousal grow even more intense. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

“Will you now?” You turned back at him slowly, your siren eyes meeting his doe eyes.

"Anything," Alexis vowed, his heart pounding in his chest. "Just don't be angry with me. I love you.” You sighed.

“How can I be upset with my loyal dog?” You smiled a little as you used an h unoccupied hand to brush your thumb against his cheek as you cupped his face, causing his body to tremble with anticipation as he pressed closer to your touch.

"I am forever grateful for your love and forgiveness," he murmured, his fingers tangling in your hair as he pulled you even closer. "There's no one else I'd rather be loyal to."

“So you know it’s wrong to accuse me of such things, yes?” You pushed him back gently by his chest, forcing him back on his knees.

"I understand," He nodded, his heart still racing with desire, his eyes gazing up at you with adoration. “I promise to never question your actions again. Everything I am and everything I have is yours."

“This is why I could never be with Isagi liked you accused me… He’d never be as loyal as you are to me…�� You hummed with a smirk. “I don’t believe anyone would…” Your hand traced slowly down to his chin to inspect his expression.

Alexis' face darkened at the mention of Isagi, but he quickly masked his jealousy.

“You're right," he muttered. "Isagi doesn't deserve you, not like I do. I would die for you a thousand times over, my Empress."

“And look at you.” You tusked, holding his face much firmly now as you furrowed your brows. “Still getting jealous when I mention Isagi.”

"I can't help it," He admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "You are everything to me, and the thought of anyone else touching you... It drives me mad." He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against yours. "Please forgive my weakness."

As he leaned closer, you simply placed your index finger to separate your lips just as he was about to kiss you.

“Good dogs don’t expect kisses after speaking out of line.” You replied, to which he nodded, his eyes downcast.

“You're right," He said softly. "I will be patient and wait for your forgiveness." He sighed, rubbing his palms against his legs. "I just wish I could control these feelings."

“Human emotions are the folly of man.” You sighed as you shook your head, taking his wrist slowly to place his palm on your thighs. “Doesn’t mean we can’t plead for forgiveness…”

Alexis looked up at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Forgive me for being weak, my Empress," he whispered, leaning in to press a soft kiss against her palm. "I will do better."

“Will you?” You raised a brow.

"I promise," Alexis said earnestly. "I will try my best to control these feelings, for your sake." He looked into your eyes, his own filled with sincerity. "You are everything to me, and I don't want to lose you because of my jealousy. Please don’t push me away.”

“On the contrary,” you yanked his wrist up so he could fall against your lap, his hands grasping at your thighs to steady himself as he processed what had just happened. “I’m giving you a chance to redeem yourself.”

“Thank you.” He nodded, his hands now beginning to slowly slide up from your thighs to your waist, his palms slinking up the sides of your shirt. “I will never disappoint you again.”

[gaywineauntsstuff]

How I picture Brucie Wayne’s birth in the battinson universe.

8yr old Dick Grayson: so B I gotta ask

Battinson: hn

8yr old newly Robin Dick Grayson: do you really think that people don’t suspect the crazy Rich secluded billionaire who disappeared for years to be Batman and then takes in a child only for ‘I’m vengeance’ to appear with a child at the same time.

Battinson: hnnn

DG: nonono like no offense but like don’t you think it’s a little …obvious… like marvel movies exist..

Battinson: hnnn what do you propose I do then?

DG: duh you gotta make sure it’s impossible for you to be Batman

Battinson: hmm so I should plan an event where we are both spot-

DG: get drunk and swim in a fountain

Battinson: ???

DG: if Bruce Wayne is dumb he can’t be Batman

Battinson: Bruce Wayne is the head of one the most successful companies in the worl-

DG nodding along: yep all thanks to the amazing help he hired to do the work for him while he search for the cure to polio in the Sahara desert

Battinson: the polio vaccine already exists Dick

DG hand placed on forehead like a fainting damsel: oh it’s so sad about poor Brucie you know, dumb as a rock that one. Didn’t get an ounce of his parents intelligence thank god he got lucky enough that the people he surrounds himself with are loyal to his parents and aren’t stealing money from him.

Battinson: Robin I’m really not followi-

DG rolling his eyes and grabbing B’s face: I’m telling you to play himbo with heart of gold. If people think you’re sweet and pathetic, they’ll (A) underestimate you (B) not question why you disappear for months (C) pathetic good looking idiots get sympathy points.

Battinson: and how would you know this

DG who got adopted by a billionaire who won’t say no to anything he says bc puppy dog eyes: …….

Battinson: …fair point

DG: worlds greatest Detective he says

[still-a-morosexual-help]

honestly tho om lucifer is such a comfort character

you know mammon's my all time all around favourite no contest but like

lucifer just hits different

he's so tired and he's so overworked and he loves his family so much it makes me sick he's willing to kill and die for them at any chance he made the misfits of the celestial realm his family despite being the perfect example of an angel himself he thinks his brothers are adorable he just wants them to have one quiet day

he's such a bastard he's arrogant and prideful and he'll willingly meow like a little kitty cat because his boybestfriend is sad

he's got daddy issues he's terrified he's traumatised his greatest fear is his father he spent years fighting a pointless war and never questioned his father about whether they ever even tried to find a way to end the war without just mindlessly trying to kill people who really aren't that different from them for a reason no one knows he's willing to be given piggyback rides by another high profile man in a public area

he's a dog person he's weak to puppy dog eyes from everyone he cares about he's constantly done with Mephisto's shit he gets jealous because one of his friends complimented their mutual friend's cookies

he's willing to villainize himself in the eyes of his family to keep them safe he's sadistic his first response to being cornered and scared is to kill anyone who's making him feel that way his love language with his brothers is being a little shit to them he's somehow connected to/the starting point of all the issues/trauma his brothers have he has empty nest syndrome even though all his brothers live at home he hasn't realised the extent to which his actions and words have fucked up his brothers and is constantly surprised and devastated by it when he realises

he has a son he pretends is his brother whom he only ever canonically acknowledged as his son twice which led to huge blowout fights one of his younger brothers bullies him into going to the pub with them once a week his son runs a club with his youngest brother dedicated solely to making his life miserable

he's sadistic he genuinely enjoys seeing people suffer he's so polite he'll allow himself to be poisoned by food he knows is bad he bought dinner for a whole restaurant because it was the owner's birthday he wore a silly outfit and worked at a themed restaurant as a favour for a friend he gets visibly more aroused when he's ordered around he insults his brothers but gets upset whenever an outsider does the same

he loves his human so much and he's so annoyed at them he's so frustrated with them he's so angry at them and he's so worried about them so protective of them so incredibly proud of them he has tried to kill them many many times

he's a borderline alcoholic he's immortal he's greying he gets migraines he forgets to eat and he sleeps at his desk he does the mom thing and orders takeout for his children when he goes out to eat without them he likes dad jokes his greatest wish is to visit a factory he likes good socks he's a grumpy old man

he's over 10 million years old he's an eldritch horror he's the personification of the sin of pride he needs glasses to read his childhood friend? ex-boyfriend? kind-of-brother? old coworker? brother in arms? calls him luci

he's a naggy paranoid perfectionist he removed the entire bathroom because one of his brothers forgot to clean it he had to literally be kidnapped to send him on a vacation he ripped out multiple sets of his own wings he doesn't like being seen shirtless he lectured jason voorhees about him not killing efficiently enough

he's a respected and recognised drag queen he believes love is love he's canonically so beautiful but no one ever makes a move on him because the whole realm thinks he's in a committed long term relationship he refuses to believe his best friend is in love with him despite multiple people saying so

he's the type of person you want to please the type of person you want to make proud the type of person you want on your side because you know no matter what he'll always have your back you're safe that as long as he's there everything will be okay the type of person you want to be held by while everything is falling down around you

he's even queer

[heartfullofleeches]

Dog Hybrid Mall Security Darling - A pup found rummaging through trashcans one night during inspection and taken in for a position as a member of security, later becoming the unofficial mascot of the mall for their sweet personality and friendliness. They aren't the greatest at their job as they can easily be persuaded with snacks from the food court, but nobody cares to point out areas of improvement as their gentle giant can do no wrong - and how can anyone say they're doing a poor job when looking in those big, gorgeous eyes. Most robberies are stopped if they beg enough anyway, and if they aren't whimpering always seals the deal.

They're cared for by nearly every shop owner in the mall. Pet groomers tend to their fur and claws, making them presentable for the crowd and often trying to sneak collars on them. Food vendors always leave some of their stock on standby to reward their hard work when they drop by. Anxious/overworked retail works are always soothed when Reader squeezes behind their desks and lets them pet them.

It's not widespread knowledge, but Reader never leaves the property when others do. They sleep in the backrooms of stores that leave out beds for them or in one of the breakrooms. Not one person has a problem with this, but a select few always attempt to get them into their car when heading home. Reader is a loyal hound and refuses, but sometimes the thought of a forever home as many offer is pleasant fuel for their dreams

-

Dog Security Reader: Please don't steal from our stores anymore :(

Yan Thief: ...

Dog Security Reader: 🥺

Yan Thief, dropping the thousands worth of stolen goods: ok.

-

Yan: Wanna go for a ride, puppy? Come on, get in the van-

Dog Security Reader: Ride?! :D... wait... [looks at the board of shoplifters] That won't work on me again, I'm mall property. Shame on you!

Yan, under their breath: damn... almost had them..

-

Yan: I'm completely stuffed and there's still one sausage of a stick left. Whatever shall I do?

[Dog Security Reader, sprinting from the third floor and the down escalator - mouth still full of treats they got from others]: Me! I can take it!