#gotta get some gifts and maybe something for myself :3

[vixvaporub]

Barnes and noble is having a buy one get one 50% off sale for manga so please take advantage and support your favorite mangaka!

[honeytonedhottie]

HONEYS RESOURCE BUNDLE⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

a gift from me to you for the new year, to help give tips that can help u succeed 🫶🏽 a post filled with resources, and advice to help u guys improve in every aspect 💗 i love and appreciate u all and i hope u find it helpful.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ physical movement and activity

find something that u like and thats fitted for ur needs. for me, all of the workouts that i do come from youtube. a girlblogger that always has a lot of workouts to try is @4theitgirls-workouts. to motivate urself to move ur body i recommend buying something cute to workout in because it always makes me feel good. i rly like to do pilates, so since i enjoy pilates -> i'll wanna do it more.

so dont be afraid to try different things and see what u enjoy the most and stick with that bcuz u dont wanna be forcing urself to do something that u won't enjoy/that won't give u the results that u want. if working out in general isn't rly ur cup of tea at all, thats totally okay! try going for walks or start running. maybe try out for a sport or start a style of dance. the whole point of this category is to get urself moving bcuz its rly rly good for ur physical and ur mental health, and it'll serve u in the long run. another youtuber i rly recommend for pilates workouts is madeline abeid.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ self improvement youtubers that i love and watch regularly

the wizard liz

simonesquared

sammy ingram

simmonesimmo

hailey gamba

the freezia

persephonesmind

₊˚⊹ ᰔ law of assumption

of course if u wanna learn about and practice the law of assumption then u can learn and apply thru my advice, experiences, ideas and more. neville goddard is like, the guru of manifesting and hes written a bunch of books, here are neville goddard's books online for FREE so that that then u can learn and see it HIS way bcuz the thing with manifesting is u gotta figure out how it works for you cuz its your reality.

if u like subliminals this is my favorite subliminal maker on youtube. their subliminals r amazing and i enjoy them bcuz they dont have music layered onto it (i like subliminals that have soothing sounds like rain or water or anything asmr). last but not least my absolute favorite manifesting coach/teacher on the whole internet, sammy ingram - literally the best manifesting guide. she rly simplifies things and her channel is full of helpful advice, success stories, challenges and her perspective on manifesting is brilliant so i rly recommend her.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ mental health

journalling is honestly the best thing that i have ever done for my mental health, the ROI that i get from it is actually incredible so i highly highly recommend it. if ur someone who doesn't rly like to write a lot, use ur notes app or whatever just get the thoughts out of ur mind and onto a piece of paper/notes. i understand that sometimes when ur mental health isn't doing too well and u dont feel motivated rly to do anything (like u feel lethargic and stuff) forcing urself to do things ISNT always the answer. i rly recommend having alternate routines cuz we ask a lot from ourselves sometimes so some days, ask a little less.

give urself the break that u deserve. when u feel like crying, CRY. even if its for no reason, the body holds onto pent up emotions so when u cry u gotta CRY. with time you'll find the things that help u feel better. for everyone its different. for me, when my mental health is in a slump what helps me is : 1. doing one thing differently (i'll go for a walk maybe) 2. get ready (take a quick shower, or if i dont even have the motivation to do that i'll do a sink shower) 3. drink a cold cup of water and make myself a meal. dont ever have zero days. always give at least 1% or do at least one thing.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ hygiene

hygiene is so instrumental in mental health cuz like i've said before looking good -> feeling good. i make sure to get ready everyday even if im going nowhere. just bcuz the process of getting ready gives me so much momentum. smelling good gives me so much confidence bcuz im the type of person thats rly rly scared of smelling bad. im a hygiene JUNKY so im always buying soaps and fragrances. when u make self care a daily thing it'll feel so natural. dont neglect ur oral health, invest in quality products that are suited for your needs. be meticulous when it comes to ur hygiene cuz a solid routine is lowkey comforting. i rly recommend korean skincare, indian haircare, african body care, and arabic perfumes and fragrances. some of my favorite hygiene based youtube channels are : SARA BEQELE and anna renns world

₊˚⊹ ᰔ school

TAKE. SCHOOL. SERIOUSLY. the feeling that u get when u get a good score on an assignment or test is unmatched. at the end of the day ur responsible for ur education. it's not hot to be a loser. if ur someone who struggles to stay on top of assignments, write down the assignment as soon as its assigned and at the next possible chance do it. as soon as u get home from school. reward urself for good grades and for ur accomplishments cuz ur AMAZING. study effectively instead of excessively.

pursue excellence always. find ways to motivate urself throughout the school day (for me, i always try and incorporate girliness into school cuz that motivates me) all my pens and pencils and folders are pink and i get myself ready everyday before school. cuz when i FEEL good -> i perform well. if u ever dont wanna study remind urself that studying>failing. advocate for urself, dont be afraid to ask questions cuz ur responsible for ur grade if u need accommodations or longer time to take a test (even if u dont) always set urself up to have the most time possible and the most resources. the resources that u have USE THEM. the goal of studying isn't to "mostly" know the material its to know for SURE. when u can explain something thoroughly, thats when you can know if you've studied enough.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ organization + planning

of course for the new year and for life in general, organization is rly helpful. manage urself mindfully and intentionally. even if ur a messy person, organizing isn't difficult if u do it in a way thats right for you. for me, notion - is literally the best organizational tool. i have an agenda, calendars, school pages, and so much more.

with notion i rly organized my life on a whole other level. aside from notion, the notes app on ur phone is rly useful, when it comes to organizing ur day to day life, i think its important bcuz it helps u to maximize ur time. for planning out ur year, if u find it difficult to stay "on task" or achieve the goals that u set for urself, try this : dont see the year as 365 days, instead separate the year into 4 quarters (90 days each) and in each of those quarters choose one aspect to focus on and pour into. make sure to log and track ur progress on those goals. the idea to this is breaking things down. break down big goals -> to more digestible goals so that then its more believable for u. remember, your limitless.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ nutrition

if ur someone who has bad nutrition, or unhealthy eating habits in general and u wanna change that my biggest advice would be to NOT BE EXTREME. bcuz i feel like if u go fully extreme so quickly then the change isn't sustainable. take it slow. start off by introducing a fruit into breakfast and having a vegetable at dinner, then eating fruit with ur breakfast and having fruit as a snack, and eating veggies with lunch and dinner. ik it sounds repetitive and overdone but u need to be consuming ur fruits and veggies. if ur not eating it with ur meals then maybe have it in a smoothie if that works for u. take supplements for things that u dont rly incorporate into ur diet, and the key to a good diet is BALANCE. dont deny urself food that u love. life is WAY to short to be scared to eat the burger that u so desperately want. its okay to eat what ppl might consider "junk food" but everything in BALANCE and moderation. keep the 80/20 principal in ur mind. 80% of what u eat should be good for u and 20% of what u eat should be whatever u crave. DRINK WATER, dont go on extreme diets if ur not an adult and haven't consulted a doctor it does u more harm than good.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ informative

learn every single day. even if ur not in school anymore. a way to help learn and sharpen ur mind every single day is picking up a hobby that can help u do so. for me, the hobby i have is reading, reading keeps my brain sharp, it keeps me entertained, and when i read nonfiction it keeps me informed. so the hobby of reading has a high ROI. whenever u get an idea of any sort, ACT on it. u dont have to wait a billion years before acting on an idea. when u get ideas, its for a reason, ur mind is brilliant and imagine how many ideas that u wasted. thats why i recommend having a creative outlet of some sort. for me, my creative outlet is my blog where i can come and talk with you guys 🫶🏽 but ur creative outlet can be ur notes app or ur journal or ur sketchbook. just a way to get the ideas in ur brain -> onto paper.

₊˚⊹ ᰔ stuff i wish i knew

ur never ever tied down to one version of urself, u can always change ur mind/opinion, u can create a new version of urself whenever the heck u want. remember that u have free will and that ur always in control. bcuz it is your life it revolves around you and it is your responsibility. its not something to mess around with. take responsibility for urself, ur actions, ur reactions etc.

1% of progress is better than 0%, a little is always better than nothing. ur social anxiety or ur fear of being perceived is HOLDING U BACK. forgive urself for ur mistakes, everything that ur embarrassed of in ur past let it go and LET YOURSELF LIVE. become ur own project, ur own muse and if all else fails (which it won't, you'll be fine and everything will work itself out for u even better than u could've ever imagined) love yourself unconditionally.

[cleolinda]

Re: being ADHD and breaking large tasks into molecule-sized actions,

there’s something I used to do and should probably start doing again. See, I can look around at a wreck of a room and not “see” individual objects. It all just looks like a painted stage backdrop to me, or a hidden-object game background. Maybe a couple of objects really stand out (like the one door in a bland flat room that a cartoon character is going to open), but I just get overwhelmed by the concept of THINGS. And that’s why I can’t start cleaning. Once an object leaves my hand and drops to the floor or lands on a chair, it is now Landscape.

So when I was REALLY desperate to clean, maybe on a specific time crunch (like the time there was a hole in my ceiling and people were going to ENTER MY HALLOWED ABODE to fix it), I would stand in the center of the room. And I would start talking to myself. Out loud. “WHAT IS ONE THING YOU CAN DO. PICK ONE THING. FIND A THING. YOU CAN DO IT. DO IT!! COME ONNNNN!!,” I would end up urging myself, much in the tone of Ellen Ripley screaming at an airlock not closing fast enough. And finally, I would spot something like a mostly empty box of crackers from seven months ago. “THROW IT AWAY. DO IT. GOOD, YOU DID IT!!”

That tiny spark of dopamine would help me loosen up; there would be less browbeating from that point. “Okay! What next! What can we do! LOOK IT’S AN EMPTY GIFT BAG” but I really want to save that “NOPE GOTTA GO THERE IT GOES.” You’re kind of play-acting a person who has executive functions at that point. But the Accomplishment Dopamine starts building. And pretty soon I would be bustling around picking up Things of my own volition. If I started balking again, I would keep asking myself, “What is the tiniest thing I can do next? Come on, you’re doing great, just go get the Box and keep going.”

See, I would also find a box of some kind, be it a storage container or the last delivery box I (obviously) didn’t throw away, and that would become the I Don’t Know Box. I achieved a lot of spare-room deep-cleaning this way. A key chain. Three stray game pieces. A perfectly good pad of Post-Its. An old coin purse. Mail I haven’t opened yet and probably never will. Where do they go? Fuck if I know, but that’s not my problem right now. Off you go into the IDK Box. Which can be shoved into some quiet corner to be konmari'd later. You either 1) know where an object lives, 2) you know it goes into the trash, or 3) you don’t know, and you make those three options as quick to enact as possible.

You can apply this to just about any hellaciously complex ordeal—talking aloud to force yourself to answer, which then becomes guiding yourself to answer, which then snowballs into getting into the flow of doing things (until you run out of function spoons for the day). “LOOK AT THE EMAIL. LOOK AT IT. ANSWER THE EMAIL. GOOD. MAKE THE PHONE CALL” noooo I hate the phone call “COME ONNNNNN!!!!” aaaaaaaa “YAY WE DID THE PHONE CALL.” And I really don't do this as often as I should, because it does actually work (for me). I know not everyone can do it--including me, much of the time—but it's an idea to add to the toolbox.

[jishyucks]

Desk Deliveries — ljn

‣ pairing: lee jeno x reader

‣ genre: fluff, implied f2l/coworkers-to-lovers, secret admirer au, office!au

‣ wc: 5.6k

‣ summary: When gifts start appearing on your work desk on December 1st, you have no choice but to hunt down the man who’s been planting them. And with only 7 men on the floor, this shouldn’t be difficult… Right?

‣ warnings: nothing really?, cliche-ish ending, a lot of dialogue (I gotta get this story goingggg)

‣ an: jeno’s wooooo, honestly easier to write than I thought but it’s wayyyy longer than I wanted it to be (I keep underestimating? myself), I just hope it’s up to my own standards lmaooo, but hopefully u guys enjoy!

Series Masterlist

DECEMBER 1

Desk Delivery!

Starting today, consider your desk a treasure trove of surprises.

‘Tis the season of giving, after all, and your radiant presence in the office deserves to be celebrated.

Each gift is carefully chosen, a small reflection of the little things I love about you. I hope they bring a smile to your face and add a sprinkle of magic to your December days.

Stay curious, 

Your Secret Admirer (or would Secret Santa fit the season?)

You almost laugh out loud, blinking at the note sitting on your desk. This must be a joke, right? 

“What is that?” Karina digs her chin into your shoulder, reading the note from behind you.

“Some joke,” you reply, letting her pluck the card from your fingertips. 

She pouts, “But it’s cute!”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” you counter, taking the card back.

“I just don’t believe it’s real.”

DECEMBER 3

Today, you arrive at the office greeted with a small, neatly wrapped cube on your desk and you’re beginning to think that the message you were given on the 1st wasn’t a joke and that, whoever it was, was being serious.

You glance around the office to see if any of your coworkers were present, but you seemed to be the first one there. Your brows furrow, carefully sliding the box toward you before ripping the wrapping paper. 

You use your office scissors to slice the tape open, and then once you are sure you can open the box to see what was in it, you take a deep breath in. You push the box away from you so it’s at arm’s length, afraid that something was going to pop out when you lift the flaps open. Counting to three in your head, you ready your fingers to lift the covers after the third count.

Fully expecting there to be fake snakes of some sort, you were met with nothing (thankfully). You pull the box back and peek in to find a mug and a card. Your brows furrow, pulling the card out first. 

I know how much you love that mug of yours, Y/N…

But it’s time to retire that broken one.

Got you a new one. Hope you like it! 

Your Secret Admirer 

You can’t help but giggle at the tone of the writer, placing the card down before going for the mug. You’ve been teased maybe once or twice for using a mug with no handle, mostly because you’ve been complaining about how the edges of the glass edges left behind by the absent handles had been poking at your palm.

Carefully, you fish the cup out of the box, making sure you won’t drop and shatter the present before you can even use it, and you use your other hand to pull the box off. And when you finally get a good look at the mug, you laugh out loud, bringing it up to eye level to get a good look at it. 

It was the exact same mug you already have been using, the only difference was that this one actually had a handle.

You were so caught up in your present that you didn't notice Karina approaching you, “Morning, smiley face.”

“Huh?” you blink at her, confused.

“I would take a picture of you right now, but I’m too lazy,” she huffs, “But you’re smiling like a child on Christmas Day.” Karina blatantly points at your face, “Who’s got you smiling like that?”

You shrug but gesture to the card and the mug, “I don’t think that first one was a joke…”

DECEMBER 4

“Hey! Hey, Y/N!” 

You hear someone call your name, but you don’t actually hear it. It was sort of like background noise to your thoughts, entering one ear and leaving the other. 

“Y/N! Hey!” 

Then, you feel something rough hit the side of your face and you realize that Karina was peeking over the wall of her cubicle and into yours.

“What the fuck do you want!” you whisper. You pick up the balled-up scrap paper she had thrown before throwing it back to her, “I’m trying to work!” 

She dodges the ball with ease, head briefly disappearing then reappearing, “Do you have any candidates for who your secret admirer could be?” 

Karina was speaking a little bit too loud for your liking, so you gestured for her to come closer. She doesn’t hesitate to leave her workspace to enter yours, sitting down on an empty spot on your desk, “So? Candidates?”

You shake your head, “Barely. I was only able to pick out that the writing is a guy’s writing because the girls have neat writing… Other than that, I have nothing.” 

The two letters sitting on your desk were your only explicit clues. Then, you had the thing with the mug, but everyone knew of your broken mug. So really, it was just the handwriting that you had as insight. 

“Okay, so it’s a guy…” Karina hums. She stretches her neck to glance around the office, “And there’s only like… seven? It wouldn’t be difficult to eliminate some of them.” She picks up your two cards to examine the cards. You can see her eyes move back and forth between the letters, pressing her lips into a thin line. “It’s not Renjun.” 

“Huh? How do you know that?” 

“He handwrites,” Karina states, “Like straight-up longhand writing. So it’s not him.” 

“How do you know he’s not just changing up his writing so it’s not obvious?” you narrow your eyes. 

Karina laughs, “Okay, you have a point, but let’s just say that he’s out temporarily, to make it easier on us. In the case that everyone else is out, then it’s Renjun.” 

You don’t notice the way your face scrunches up, your facial features pushing in toward your nose. 

“Hey, what’s with the face?” Karina’s head tilts to the side. It takes a beat and a half before she realizes, “Wait, you don’t want it to be Renjun, do you?” 

You don’t answer, mostly because you didn’t want to outright say that you didn’t want Renjun to be your admirer—no offense to him. Renjun was a great guy, but he wasn’t someone who you saw yourself being with. And if you were to actually build a relationship with this person, you didn’t want it to be Renjun. 

An all-knowing smirk appears on Karina’s face, “Then who do you want it to be?” 

You want to throw a punch at Karina’s knee, but you remember you are still in the workplace and you need to keep it (at least a little bit) professional. “Fuck you, you already know the answer to that.” 

Jeno, Karina thinks.

“Of course you want it to be him,” Karina puts the cards back down, “I should have known. You’re down bad for that man.” 

Karina wasn’t wrong. You and Jeno go way back to your internship days, and your (hopeless) crush on him has been there since then. 

“Down bad for who?” 

From seemingly out of nowhere, Chenle appears at the corner of your cubicle, leaning against it as he takes a sip of his coffee. And of course, wherever Chenle was, Jisung followed, standing right next to the former. 

“Uh, that-that one actor!” you lie in a panic, “From that one show!”

“You suck at lying,” Chenle snorts, “You could have at least named someone. It could have been Nam Joohyuk for all I care.” 

“It’s not you guys if that’s what you’re thinking,” Karina snickers, “Sorry, boys.” 

Jisung and Chenle burst out laughing, almost comically in sync. They even threw in a high-five, though it was out of habit. “No offense, Y/N, but I don’t see you in that light.” Chenle is practically in tears. 

“No offense, Chenle, but I don’t either,” you reply, “Now can you guys please leave my space or I’m reporting you guys to Taeyong.” And that sends them away because it wasn’t the first time they’ve been reported.

“Okay so we can scratch those two off the list,” Karina concludes. 

And you nod. 

So far, so good. This should be easy.

DECEMBER 8

Okay, it wasn’t as easy as you thought. 

All your interactions with the other guys were normal. None of them seemed suspicious enough for you to star, nor did any of them do anything that ruled themselves off your list, and you had to admit, it was frustrating. 

Of all the boys, the most suspicious was Jaemin, who snickered every time he passed your desk. But when you mentioned this to Karina, Karina pointed out that Jaemin was like that in general, always up to his own shenanigans like Donghyuck was. 

“That or he knows something,” Karina thinks, “We should ask him.” 

It was nearing the end of the day and you and Karina were sitting at one of the open tables by the floor’s wall of windows, mugs in hand while you carefully eyed the boys of the department. 

Karina’s about to walk up to Jaemin when you stop her, pinching her blouse to keep her from leaving, “I don’t think Jaemin’s stupid enough to spill anything if we ask. We have to make it subtle.” 

“Subtle, how?” 

You shrug, “Just subtle.”

“Subtle, how?” Karina repeats. 

You want to bonk her in the head, “I guess pretend like you don’t really care, maybe say you think it’s Renjun or something and see what he says.”

Let’s say Jaemin really did know who your admirer was. If Karina were to think it was someone else, she could note the way Jaemin would react to her guesses and you both can go from there. 

You shoo her away and let her do her thing, staying back to pretend you were watching cars drive past down below. 

In 8 days, the only clues you were able to gather included the fact that he was a boy, he worked on this floor (the mug thing), he liked to end his J’s in loop de loops, and there was always some type of water or coffee stain on the cards. 

The last clue was something you and Karina had just recently discovered, simply because the first few cards were wrinkled in the slightest with water, while the most recent one, today's, had been stained with a drop of coffee. 

You’re not sure if these were purposeful or accidental, but nonetheless, you and Karina took any details as clues, hoping that it would lead to a conclusion.

“You haven’t blinked for a while.” 

“Shit, I didn’t hear you come,” you greet Jeno with an awkward smile, shifting your weight from one leg to the other, “I was just deep in thought.” 

Jeno’s eyes disappear when he smiles and your stomach does that thing it does when he does so. It’s so stupid how you’re feeling like a giddy high schooler around this man, but you’ll defend yourself any day and blame him for everything. 

“Is it about your secret admirer?” Jeno questions. He’s facing the window and you’re facing him. You can see him peeking at you through the corner of his eye and he’s smiling teasingly.

Your eyes widen, “Wait, how do you know about that?” You haven’t told anyone but Karina, Chenle, and Jisung, the last two only earning the information for being the most persistent duo on the planet. 

“Word gets around,” he shrugs, “And I pass your desk to and from the elevator.” 

You’re guessing the two younger boys had let it slip out but you disregard them for now, “Oh… right…”

“So, what about him?” Jeno questions. 

“Just… I don’t know who it is….” 

Jeno turns to you and you’re taken aback by how tired he looks. Sure, everyone in this damn office repped the good ‘ol panda eyes, but Jeno’s hair was a bit dishevelled, eyes half closed from fatigue. You choose not to point it out. 

Jeno’s words register in your head and your brows furrow, “Wait… how do you know they’re a he? I didn’t say anything about him unless…” You don’t quite notice the way Jeno freezes up only because he wasn’t moving much beforehand. “Unless you know who he is!”

Jeno shakes his head, “Jisung told me!”

“I didn’t tell Jisung anything.” “You probably told Karina who told Chenle who told Jisung!” At this point, Jeno’s heart is beating at an erratically fast pace and he’s about to panic until Karina returns. She’s pouting, a tinge of disappointment evident on her face and Jeno takes this as his chance to escape.

“What did Jaemin say?” Your attention is easily pulled away from your friend, “Did he say anything?”

“No,” Karina grumbles, “I accidentally let it slip out that this was about your admirer and all he said was, 'Secret admirer, huh? Wouldn't you like to know.'” Karina mocks Jaemin’s voice, rolling her eyes. “But I guess that just proves that he knows something… it’ll just be harder to get it out of him.” 

“Jeno’s being suspicious now, too,” you nod your head to the boy. 

Sure it could be implied that your admirer was one of the guys, but the way the man had handled your questions was definitely something to take note of. 

DECEMBER 10

“Please tell me you’ll be leaving after you finish this?” Another one of your coworkers, Minjeong, was standing at the edge of your cubicle, leaning against the divider. You can tell she’s ready to leave, hands stuffed deep into her pockets, “Everyone’s left besides Mr. Jo.” 

Mr. Jo was the custodian.

“I will, I promise.” You don’t even look up from your screen, waving your hand in her direction as if it would make her scurry away, “I’m almost done. Have a good night, Jeongie!” 

She returns your farewell and leaves, knowing that you won’t budge until you finish your task. 

You genuinely were near completion. You just had a few more points in the report to finish before you reached your goal for tonight and you’ll go home. 

Your fingers are flying across your keyboard, fatigued eyes blinking at the words you were producing in hopes that they were coherent. Your brain had shut down an hour ago and now you were on autopilot.

Who cares if it’s coherent if I’m going to edit it anyway? You think. And now you were carelessly typing, making typos left and right. 

When you finally finish the draft, you grab your mug from your coaster to put in the office’s sink. Your eyes finally catch a break from staring at the screen for so long, practically feeling your ocular muscles relax. Closing your eyes, you blindly make your way down the pathway, which honestly was easy after the amount of times you’ve made your way down it.

But when your feet hit something that was obviously not as hard as a cubicle wall you freeze. 

Shit. 

Your eyes fly open and quickly look at what you have unintentionally kicked. 

“Jeno?” You blink your eyes a couple times to make sure you aren’t just seeing things.

Sprawled out on his desk was Jeno, fast asleep. There was a small pond of drool underneath his cheek, mouth hanging open. You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Jeno.” You feel the need to whisper now, leaning over to shake his shoulder. “Jeno!” 

He begins to stir, “Huh? Wha?” 

“What are you still doing here?” you ask. 

One eye stuck closed, he glances around the empty office. The side that he had been lying on was flat as if he had been in that position for a while. Jeno yawns and stretches, his back popping a little as he sits up. 

"I was waiting for you to finish," he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands.

You glance at the clock on his computer screen, realizing it's much later than you thought. "Jeno, it's getting late. You didn’t need to wait for me."

He shrugs, a sleepy smile on his face. "I didn't want you to go home alone in the dark. Plus, I figured you might need some company." 

You hit him on the shoulder, “You dumbass!”

Jeno winces even though you didn’t even hit him too hard. “Ow!” 

“I didn’t even know you were here! Dumbass!” You throw another thwack at his shoulder blade, “You’re lucky I tripped over your foot!” Jeno ignores you and starts getting up, pulling out his packed bag underneath his desk, “You should’ve told me you were gonna wait for me.”

“Yeah, but then you would’ve pushed me onto the elevator so that I could leave,” Jeno replies. "Ready to head home?"

Although you and Jeno don’t live anywhere near each other, your place was on the way to his. Usually, you’d walk home and go sightseeing as you walked past the small shops on the way, but because the weather could freeze your arteries shut, you’re forced to transit home. 

"Sure, let's go." You pack up your things quickly, and the two of you head towards the elevator.

As you wait for the elevator doors to open, you glance at Jeno. His eyes are still a bit heavy with sleep, but there's a warmth in them that makes your heart flutter. When he notices you looking, he tightens his lips to give you a tired grin that reaches his eyes. The office is quiet now, only the hum of the elevator breaking the silence.

Once inside, Jeno presses the button for the ground floor, and the elevator starts its descent. The dim lighting casts a soft glow on both of you, and you can't help but appreciate the peaceful moment.

"Long day, huh?" Jeno breaks the silence, his tone sympathetic. “Your secret admirer mystery still bothering you?"

You chuckle and nod, "Yes. But it just makes me more determined to figure it out."

"Any progress?" Jeno raises an eyebrow, curious.

You shake your head, "Not really. It's driving me crazy." 

"Maybe it's someone you least expect," Jeno suggests with a playful smile.

"Maybe," you reply, unsure. The elevator doors open, and you both step out and into the nearly empty office lobby. Then you think out loud, eyes narrowing as you look at Jeno through your lashes, “Maybe it’s you.” 

The cold wind hits you as you exit the building, making you shiver. You pull your coat tighter around you, and Jeno does the same. 

“Why? Do you want it to be me?” Jeno smirks playfully. 

“I don’t know,” you lie, “I’m just asking because there’s a possibility it’s you. Besides Chenle and Jisung, you’re the only one willingly asking about him.” That really couldn’t even mean anything, but it’s suspicious. You’re starting to think this was a joke set up by all the guys, and you’re the target.

“Nope, it’s not me,” Jeno stares ahead of you both, and you miss the way he swallows his spit when he says it, “And I don’t know who it is either. That’s why I’m asking.”

You look at him to detect if Jeno was lying—maybe a nose twitch, multiple blinks, or a dishonest glance to the side—nothing. 

You feel your heart skip a beat, and not in the way you liked. Because, sure, you didn’t care about who this person was, but for the past week and a half, you’ve been raising your hopes that it was Jeno who had been leaving these presents for you. 

You realize that that was a mistake. 

A weak laugh shoots out your mouth, almost sounding like a huff and you force a smile on your face, “Well… that’s a relief.”

DECEMBER 15

Losing a bit of interest in your admirer just because it wasn’t the person you wanted it to be wasn’t fair to your actual admirer. Especially when they were still putting the effort into dropping off those presents and writing those letters.

The day after, you had told Karina that Jeno made it clear that your admirer wasn’t him and she refused to believe it, delusion taking over for your sake. She said something along the lines of ‘can’t say it’s not Jeno until there’s solid proof’. 

This morning you decided to switch up your strategy and arrive at work early. For the past 2 weeks, these little deliveries had appeared on your desk either after you left or before you arrived, and since you had kept track of who left the office yesterday evening, you were sure that he was going to be coming in early this morning to leave his present. 

You greet the security guard in the lobby, leaving your mouth more as a yawn than an actual sentence before you hop onto the elevator and cross your fingers for luck. 

The office is quiet and dimly lit as you enter, the only sound being the gears of the elevators turning as the doors slide open. Once you step out, you’re quick to scan the room before ultimately settling your gaze on your desk. 

The universe couldn’t have timed this any better.

Standing at your desk, you see a figure, gently placing a wrapped box on your desk. You hold back a gasp, clamping your mouth shut with your palm, not wanting to bring attention to yourself. The man appeared oblivious to the elevator letting someone off, his back still turned to you.

You catch the sound of his satisfied hum, and just before he pivots, you quickly move to a concealed hallway, keeping yourself out of sight. A lingering fear holds you back from confronting whoever this person is, but you so badly want to know who it is. You figured it would make the confronting part easier. 

Footsteps grow closer before they stop, and you can easily guess he’s standing in front of the elevators. With curiosity getting the best of you, you risk being seen and lean your head around the corner, just enough so that one of your eyes can see who the boy was. 

Another gasp attempts to leave your mouth when you finally recognize who it was. 

Jaemin?

The elevator arrives at your floor before you can even process that it was truly him you just saw, almost as if you’ve seen his ghost and he was gone before you knew it. 

So your secret admirer was Na Jaemin? 

In a way it made sense. You and Karina had ruled him as one of the more suspicious ones. He and Jeno were close, so Jeno being curious about your progress added up. Now you have solid proof that Jaemin actually was your secret admirer.

How were you going to let him down easily?

DECEMBER 19

Despite having the weekend and Karina's assistance to strategize how to break the news to Jaemin, you found yourself at work on Monday without a clear plan. Today, you mentally braced yourself for another gift, feeling a pang of guilt as you realized your friend and coworker had been investing so much effort, only for his feelings to not be returned.

Today’s box was slim and rectangular, wrapped in the paper you’ve grown familiar with. At first glance, it looked like a wine box, but you quickly deemed it too short to be a wine bottle. 

With a bit of hesitation, you carefully pick at the paper, ripping it open before you slice the tape that was keeping the box closed. Then you pry the box open, flipping the flaps over so that you can see the item from a bird’s eye view.

Huh?

You pull it out—an umbrella in your favourite colour. On the handle, your initials are engraved into the plastic. The umbrella looked beautiful, but considering the other presents, this was… random. 

Your eyes catch sight of a card at the bottom of the box and you stick your arm in to fish it out. 

I bet you’re curious as to who I am, right?

I think I kept you waiting far too long for a hint.

A hint?

Your heart picks up its pace and your eyes scramble to keep reading.

Today’s gift? An umbrella.

Bought one for myself and one for you because we need to be prepared next time.

I don’t know about you, but I didn’t enjoy being drenched in rain at work. 

Your Secret Admirer

A hint.

Hell, it was more than a hint.

Your eyes grow wide as you reread the note over and over, your heartbeat fluttering. It flutters because you know exactly what your admirer was talking about. 

Back during the rainy season, the morning you were getting ready for work, you completely disregarded the weather forecast and left your house without an umbrella or an appropriate coat. And much to your stupidity, you told yourself that it wasn’t going to rain that hard when you heeded the darker clouds in the sky. 

You realized your mistakes on the walk to work when rain started pouring down from the sky, like someone dumping a bucket of rainwater all over you. You were sprinting, sight impaired by the rain pelting your face, flying past other individuals who had been smart enough to pack heavy-duty umbrellas with them. 

Luckily, you finally arrived at your building before you were wet to the bone. When you noticed the elevator was still open, you called out for it, fast-walking through the lobby just so you could catch it. 

“Thanks,” you had sighed out, huffing in relief. 

The man who had held the elevator open for you laughed and spoke up, “I take it you forgot an umbrella too?” 

You laugh at the memory, remembering being thankful that you weren’t the only dumbass who didn’t bring an umbrella—that you weren’t going to be the only one on the floor who would be showing up soaked and dripping wet.

Because Jeno was that other dumbass. 

Even with this realization, with this hard evidence that your admirer could actually be Jeno, you still recount your almost-encounter with Jaemin and the fact that Jeno had denied your accusations. 

You find yourself caught in a web of conflicting emotions. On one hand, the thoughtful gesture of the umbrella brings back memories of that rainy morning with Jeno. On the other hand, the recent revelation and Jeno's denial cast a shadow of doubt on the identity of your secret admirer.

As you stand there, staring at the umbrella, your brain cells are desperately trying to think up a good explanation for all of this. The evidence seems to point to Jeno, yet you can't ignore the possibility that this might be an elaborate misdirection. Or maybe Jaemin was the misdirection?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the familiar voice of Karina, who has just gotten off the elevator. She notices the umbrella in your hands and grins, "Mr. Admirer? An umbrella?"

You manage a half-smile, the weight of the situation pressing on you. "It’s a hint. There’s a memory tied to it.”

Karina arches an eyebrow, intrigued. "Memory?"

You decide to share the story of that rainy morning with Jeno, how both of you got caught in the downpour without umbrellas. As you recount the details, Karina listens attentively, connecting the dots between the past and the present. 

"So, you think Jeno might be your secret admirer because of this shared memory?" she asks, thoughtful. The way her expression brightens at the thought of your admirer actually being Jeno and not Jaemin—just like you wanted.

You shrug, uncertain. "It makes sense, right? But then there's the whole denial part. He flat-out said it's not him."

Karina leans against the reception desk, crossing her arms. "He probably just didn’t want you to find out like that. Maybe he's trying to surprise you later. Who knows?"

You sigh, feeling a mix of frustration and curiosity. "I just want to know. I’m this close to banging my head against the corner of my desk." 

Karina snorts and nudges you playfully. "Confront him again but this time, give him no choice but to confess."

You consider Karina's suggestion, realizing that confronting Jeno might be the only way to unravel this mystery. Gathering your resolve, you decide to have a direct conversation with him, determined to get to the bottom of your secret admirer's identity.

DECEMBER 20

Who would’ve thought that confronting your secret admirer would be nerve-wracking? Cause what if it really wasn’t Jeno and you were making a fool out of yourself?

It’s your break and you’re sitting at one of the lounge tables with Karina and Minjeong, playing with the edge of your instant ramen cup. 

You’re replaying how you want the situation to go down in your head. You want to go up to him, make small talk, he small talks back, you confront him, and he admits it—easier said than done. But your goal was to do it by the end of the day, mostly because you know that if you kept this going for any longer, you’d actually go crazy.

Minjeong and Karina are talking about something, you’re not quite sure what it was when Ningning joins in, “Did Giselle pass by?” 

Karina shakes her head, “Haven’t seen her.” 

Ningning pouts, “I was going to ask her someth—”

And again, you tune them out—not on purpose.

The voice in your head is screaming Jeno repeatedly and it’s driving you insane. You want it to stop, but the only way you can do so is by confronting him.

Then the door opens again and in comes Jeno and Jaemin, laughing about something Donghyuck and Mark related. Karina notices the way your eyes divert toward their direction and she tries to catch your attention, jerking her head in their direction. Eyes widening, you shake your head as if you were saying not now.

“Shit, I got coffee on my shirt,” you hear Jeno huff. 

From where you were sitting, you could see Jeno turning to show Jaemin the coffee stain on his white shirt, pouting. Jaemin laughs, “That’s what you get for using a broken bottle. Just buy a new one.” 

Jeno pouts, “You buy one for me, then.” 

At first, you don’t pay attention to their conversation, passing it off as the usual banter between the two, but then it clicks. Your mouth speaks before you can even process everything, “It’s you!” 

The room grows silent but, frankly, you don’t care because now you’re sure it was Jeno. 

Other than the umbrella and the memory, the only other hint other than handwriting were the water and coffee stains that the cards were always covered in (and you and Karina were still unsure whether that was on purpose or not). 

Jeno’s bottle was broken. 

You rise abruptly, the chair screeching against the floor. Rounding the tables, you navigate toward to get to Jeno, heart beating against your rib cage. Once he is within your reach, you snatch him by the wrist and drag him out of the lounge room and into the hallway. 

“Dumbass!” you smack his shoulder, “It was you! Liar!” You weren’t angry, in fact, you were laughing, disbelief etched on your face.

Jeno looks off to the side, “I… don’t know what you’re talking about…” He’s horribly holding a smile back, cheekbones growing prominent from his attempt. 

“Don’t play dumb,” you say, “The umbrella hint was enough for me to know it was you!” 

Jeno unleashes his smile, physically shrinking and lowering his head as his cheeks grow hot from your statement. “I didn’t think you’d remember it that easily…”

"You've been driving me insane, you know that?" You shake your head, still processing the revelation. "I even thought it was Jaemin for a bit. All this time, it was you!"

“Did you… want it to be Jaemin?” 

You shake your head, “Honestly, I was relieved it was you… no offense to Jaemin. Why didn’t you admit to it when I asked you?”

“Probably a similar reason for why you said ‘that’s a relief’ when I said it wasn’t me,” Jeno counters, slowly regaining his confidence. 

You chuckle, realizing the playful banter unfolding between you and Jeno. "Good point."

He grins, "Plus, watching you try to figure it out was entertaining." There’s a mischievous glint in Jeno’s eyes as he's holding back a smile.

You cross your arms, glaring up at him, "So you enjoyed torturing me?" 

Jeno panics slightly, shaking his head, "No! It’s not like I was torturing you! It was just something fun! I liked seeing your reactions!"

You playfully roll your eyes. "You're lucky I like you."

Jeno freezes, “Wait, you like me like me?” 

You look at Jeno as if he just said the dumbest shit that’s ever come out of someone’s mouth. “Lee Jeno, I literally told you I was relieved it was you and you think I don’t have feelings for you?” You want to smack him again.

“Yes?”

Smack.

“Ow!” Jeno rubs his arm and frowns. 

“Of course I like you!” You’re looking up at Jeno, “I was working my ass off trying to figure out who my admirer was because I had hopes that it was you!”

Jeno's eyes widen with surprise, and then a broad grin stretches across his face. "You... really?" he stammers, almost disbelieving, “So would… this be the right time to ask you on a date?” 

You stuck out your bottom lip and shrug, half-joking, “I mean… it’s the least you can do after putting me through all that.” 

“You’re right,” Jeno laughs. He takes a step closer, looking down at you with the world’s prettiest smile, “So will you?”

“Will I, what?” you tease, staring back up at him.

“Will you go out with me?”

taglist: @tytrackfebreze @lovesuhng @hoonieji @niinjo @dinonuguaegi @reignessance

an: the answer is yes 👀,,, Felix's is up next and it's gonna be cute

[rin-solo]

A very subjective list of my favorite moments/lines in EPIC the musical so far (in no particular order):

"You're alone!"

"Need some help?"

"And if we must sail through dangerous oceans and beaches, I'll go where Poseidon won't reach us, and if I gotta drop another infant from a wall in an instant so we all don't die? Then I'll become the monster."

The entire ending of Six Hundred Strike ("You idiot!" until the end of the song)

"One sip and you'll understand the power that's in your hand. Then we shall be on our way; no bloodshed in here today. A trade, you see? A gift from you and a gift from me."

"I know if you dance with fate, then I know, I know you'll enhance your state."

"I can see you..." "How can you see through my spell?" "Haha! I was lying. You fell for my bluff."

"Let him go. Please, let him go!"

"Don't you know that danger is my friend? My whole life, I've trained for this; I cannot tell you how much I have paid for this. I have to get home; put it all on the line I'm gonna use ruthlessness, every trick, every skill put to use for this. I plan to put an end to all the foolishness. I have to get home; put it all on the line ... I'll be dangerous."

"Any last words?" "... All I gotta do is open this bag!" "What?!"

"Cut off their tails; we're ending this now. Throw their bodies back in the water... Let them drown." "(He is a different beast now. He is the one who feasts now. No more of us deceased, cause he won't take more suffering from you.)"

"Maybe if I hadn't missed it all, maybe he'd be fine. Maybe we'd unwind. Life could be that bright. I could sleep at night."

"I'd like to hurry up and end this, so if you don't have much to say, then oh, bring it on!"

"Thunder bring her through the wringer; show her I'm the judgment call, the one who makes her kingdom fall."

"600 deaths under my command. Cause I had one goal in mind..."

"Maybe showing one act of kindness will lead to kinder souls down the road. Maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more."

"Please, don't make me do this. Don't make me do this!"

"Pride is a damsel in distress, hiding away where only I can undress her. Try as she can, not to confess... In the end, they're all the same once I apply all the pressure."

"I just ate a flower, one that claims your power, so you better cower now and flee."

"We are the same, you and I..." "(...I.)"

"You'll need a mindset change for this; you cannot get away with playing safe for this. You wanna get home? Put it all on the line and put your whole brain in it; remember every trick in your domain for this."

"We need to get away from this island now. Grab and oar with all the strength your arms allow."

"The blood on your hands is something you won't lose; all you can choose is whose."

"Hey Cyclops, when we met, I led with peace while you fed your inner beast. But my comrades will not die in vain; remember them. Remember us. Remember me. I am the reigning king of Ithaca. I am neither man nor mythical. I am your darkest moment. I am the infamous Odysseus."

... And the only moment that I actually trust myself to rank because it is actually 100% my #1 favorite moment in the whole musical:

"Aren't you tired, Poseidon? It's been ten years; how long will this go? We're both hurting from losses, so why not leave this here and just go home?" "... I can't." "... Maybe you could learn to forgive?" "... No."

Haha, make assumptions about me in the comments based on these or sth if you want<3

[mister-qi]

Mr. Qi Friendship and Romance Mod: 4/19 Progress Update

It's a working title, I'm trying to come up with something less wordy that still will pop up in Nexus searches.

I wanted to be able to track my progress, mainly for myself, but if you're curious, this is the state of the mod right now:

Writing:

Heart Events - the 2 heart event is fully written (with blocking directions), and the 6, 8, and 10 heart events are outlined. The 4 heart cutscene currently has me a bit stumped; I have ideas, but nothing concrete yet. I definitely now understand why Sam's 4 heart cutscene is him dropping an egg. 14 hearts is on the back-burner as a little treat to myself once I get further into things.

Generic Daily Dialogues - about 1/3 done, probably the highest priority for writing. I'm leaving his vanilla casino dialogue as the two heart dialogue, and the vanilla Walnut Room dialogue as his four heart dialogue, with a few small changes. And, since it's me, I have more marriage dialogue written than anything else...

Day-Specific Dialogues - very few written, lower priority. Hoping to have a lot of these made eventually, and I have plenty of ideas, but they aren't necessary for the core of the mod so they're on the back-burner for now.

Gift Dialogues - all 5 generic gift response dialogues are written, with an additional 22 dialogue lines for specific items/groups of items. I'm also up to around item 530 in figuring out what item corresponds to which dialogue/whether or not he likes it. Certain item groups, like cooked food, still need more lines, however. This is definitely something that should be low priority, but also something I'm really enjoying working on. Some personal favorites so far are-

[if given a fish (hated)]: "Eugh, it's all slimy..."

[if given a legendary fish (disliked)]: "If you must give me one of the rarest fish in the valley, can you at least wrap it so I don't have to touch it with my bare hands?"

And I think that's pretty funny.

Art

Portraits - 3 new portraits finished: "deep frown" "glint" and "glasses-less". I'll probably be messing with "glasses-less" for a looong while; it's first shown at a dramatic moment so it needs to look good. Blushing portraits are next on the docket.

Here's "glint" btw, with a background thrown on so I can have a custom icon. You know I gotta make him do the anime glasses thing a few times.

Sprites - no progress yet. Walk cycle is up next after I finish the blushing portraits. Did you know he doesn't have a walk cycle at all? [1.6 spoilers] in the cheated Summit cutscene where he attacks(?) you, he literally just slides at you very fast. Anyways, I may also change his map sprite a bit as well, since it was drawn to match his old portrait and doesn't actually have the same color scheme as his sprites. Note to self: is it possible to make the sparkles on his outfit prismatic?

Maps - no progress yet. The 6 heart and 10 heart cutscenes both require custom maps, with the 6 heart one being a fully custom asset. 10 heart recycles some existing assets but will still need some custom stuff done as well.

Misc Sprites - in my head, there's a dream version of the 8 heart cutscene that has so, so many unique sprites. Like an incredible amount of stuff. I think it'll kick ass, but also that sequence could be done with a few lines of text. So, for now, it's low priority. But maybe in a few months I'll put out a request for help.

Implementation

Not totally sure how to split this into sections yet, as I'm very much still in the preliminary stages so far. To say that I'm feeling overwhelmed is an understatement; documentation on the wiki swings wildly between "an asset is a file in a video game" and "this is an advanced tutorial. Read these 4 other pages first before continuing."

I've started using Ms. Coriel's NPC Creator which has been good for setting up the basic file structure, but ultimately doesn't cover some of the more complex stuff I want to do. EDIT: Turns out it's completely outdated for 1.6! Had to throw out a bit of work, but I still learned from it so it's fiiine.

I think setting up his "schedule" will be a challenge, in that I don't actually want him to have a real schedule like most NPCs. Not to pull back the curtain too much here, but I want him to "exist" in both the Casino and the Walnut Room simultaneously, which is to say, he does not exist in two places at once in the narrative, just in the code. This will change after marriage, however.

My next goal is to set up placeholder cutscenes for each of the heart events, and then to implement the generic daily dialogues once those are finished.

Final Notes

God, this will be a work in progress for a while, but I'm enjoying it! Definitely enjoying the writing more than anything else, but hey, that's how it be. I've got around 70 lines of dialogue written, a bit of art done, and I've started learning how to actually get stuff in game. I've always been more of a designer than a coder, but it's getting there!

ADDITIONALLY I've decided that if I abandon this project for more than 8 months, anyone is welcome to request my work so far and use it for their own mod. If this blog hasn't posted in a long while, feel free to send me an ask or message! I may say no, however.

Ultimately, I want this mod to exist in some fashion. While there is an existing one, I have a pretty different take on the character and I want to share it with you all! Every line of dialogue, every heart event, every little detail needs to share something interesting about a character and their world. Yet, Mr. Qi is a mysterious guy, and I think some things should be left up to player interpretation. And I think it's crucial to be able to match his tone and voice to the vanilla game, while also expanding on his characterization. It's a fun challenge to write, and I hope the finished product, uh, well I hope it gets finished mostly, but I think it'll be pretty good.

Thanks for reading all this. This is largely just a stream of consciousness for myself, but I hope it's...interesting, or something?

[starleska]

[stepping over the picket fence from my backyard into your backyard, like I’ve learnt anything about Despicable Me or Maxime since my last ask besides it is, indeed, the masc “le Mal” and not the feminine “la Mal”]

Hi, hey, howdy, don't worry about getting to this ask quickly or replying or anything, you take care of yourself, do what you need to do, do what you want to do 💕 I'm going on a thought experiment, a couple of thought experiments. <3 

but I was pondering my orb or taking a four hour nap or whatever you wanna call it and like. Is flustered, needy Maxime a new concept???? Not something that’s been greatly considered????? Bc tbh, he always gave me those vibes. For some reason. Like “Oh yeah, of COURSE he’s clingy and embarrassed and blushy and etc etc”. I’m not even sure why I was so sure but it just felt right. 💖 Surely…I wasn’t…projecting any type of …”personal biases” upon himAHEM so sorry, allergies. 

That big coat is for hiding and he totally can just, dissappear in there and hide from the world. He could pull the coat up and his head in and hope he can cover how read his face is. Like don't look at him rn, he's so vulnerable and uncomfortable about it bc he's used to being so big and impervious, but also don't go away, bc he likes you sm and this is so nice and he loves being adored. But also it's so much!!!!!!!!! Vicious cycle.

I'm a Blushy Needy Maxime truther. Or liar. I'll leave it to the people who've actually seen the movie to decide. Just the bigger the ego, the harder they fall, thats what I always say. Don't fact check that. 

What do you reckon flusters him most? Nice words? Physical affection? Teasing? Gifts? All of the above? I feel like it could be anything. 👀 or maybe it’s none of the above. 

Maybe I underestimate him, maybe he's got better composure than I assume, but every set of armor has a weakness! Anyone can get flustered, Maxime can get flustered, and tbh he probably should get flustered. Where there’s a will there’s a way! …Maybe Valentina would help. Either way I KNOW THAT GUY IS GETTING FLUSTERED I know it 

Accidentally a little overboard with the teasing and flustering and he gets all in a huff, giving the cold shoulder. You gotta say you’re sorry and wrap your arms around him, and in an ideal world he’d hold strong to his grudge until he felt you’ve paid your dues, but he can’t help but melt into your embrace. He compromises, turning back to you, burying his still-hot face into you and refusing to look at you instead. His arms tight around you, not letting you go even long after you assume all is well. His ire is still on you, you know! You owe him a lot for all that trouble you put him through! And besides, he still feels lightheaded from all this blood rushing to his face. You must let him stay in your soft, supportive embrace for just a moment longer. You wouldn’t turn him out now, would you? After you did this to him?  For shame. 

(He is Not intending to let you go anytime soon, he is making up all the excuses)

…hm…I may be talking in circles and not saying much of anything. I also feel like I’ve Greatly Exposed myself today. I gotta go disinfect my ear piercings…I gotta wash my neckties….I gotta refill my mint essential oil diffuser to keep away…the….the bugs…ahem…I gotta make a Pokémon team for Normal Reasons. 

I'm also once again coming to you cold, literally standing next to an actual oven for warmth like a Victorian child when my jacket is on a chair literally just one Maxime away. I’ve Got to GO. I CANT KEEP BEING LET OUT OF CONTAINMENT LIKE THIS. Thank you for listening to my TEDTalk/hostage situation. If anyone asks, I was never here. Take care, you’re great <3 

[Runs away, jumping fences like I committed a crime here.]

not you dropping an entire three course meal and dessert into my askbox, á la mode!!!!!!! 🙈💖💖 for someone who claims they don't know anything about Maxime, you certainly have put a lot of thought into this message...😉

you know, at the time you sent this ask I would've said that flustered, needy Maxime is a new concept, but we've had an amazing wave of art for him over the past week and there's so much of him being all cute and blushy 🙈🙈💖💖 i think it's that he is so easily angered and hates being called cute…he's total fluster-bait!!! we NEED to make him blush 🥺 AAAAA ohhh my god the idea of him wrapping his coat around himself and hiding is so soft!!!! no no you are SO onto something because Maxime is so horribly arrogant and confident, he's a bully who loves the spotlight and desperately wants attention…so wouldn't it be interesting to finally hit that sweet spot and get him wanting to hide? i really do think overt affection like that would make him curl up, and if you did it in a pointed enough way, his face would light up like a traffic light 🥰💖 i think that Maxime is probably really unprepared for anyone who is able to match his energy. he's looking down at you all heavy-lidded, boasting about himself and casually belittling you, but you shoot back with a well-aimed flirtation and it just. hits him like a truck. his cheeks warm, he starts to stammer. he desperately tries to recover, but he's actually looking for an out because he needs to find somewhere to breathe and quiet his beating heart 👀💖 YOU ARE CORRECT Valentina would so get involved!!! you've probably seen us talk about Valentina a bit before, and our wishes that she'd had more dialogue/character development in the movie…but two things that are very canon about Valentina is that she loves cute things, and she also thinks MAXIME is really cute 👉👈 i am certain that behind closed doors those two lavish all kinds of attention on each other, and Valentina turns Maxime tomato-red every time!!!! squealing no no no please don't be embarrassed i LOVE this!!!! gahhhh i adore that quick possessive flip from being so embarrassed and curling in on himself to it being something where he desperately wants to keep you, he can't let you go…!!! oh, my heart 😳😳😳 it's going to sound so silly given all of the stuff i've made for Maxime and being a selfshipper but i adore him so much that i STILL get so incredibly squirmy even trying to imagine any degree of one-on-one discussion with him, let alone contact…!!!! it's taken me a week to answer this ask for exactly that reason 🙈💖 so THANK YOU for fueling my brain i am going to chew through my hoodie sleeves now 😳😳😳 cackles. are we both sufficiently dead now? did you manage to do all of those convenient excuse-related things (including making the Pokémon team which i would LOVE to hear about)? 👀 it's OKAY lovely, open yourself up!!! there are no rules when it comes to loving characters - who says we can't adore many at once?! 🥰 thank you for always sending the loveliest, most interesting asks!! i've been mulling over this one for a hot minute and it's really, really cheered me up after a tough month, so big big hugs 🫂💖💖

[kittiesandkillers]

Nononono keep going I wanna hear about freaky kylar

Fine but it's not my fault if you're traumatized by the headcanons section.

Vrel said that Kylar is one of the kinkiest characters but they themself aren't aware of it since we're their first partner.

Kylar obviously has a breeding kink so I don't have to explain myself there.

Kylar is also strongly implied to be masochistic(to a lesser extent than Sydney, of course).

There are a couple of scenes that show that they're into some light knife play. The knife play becomes not so light when Kylar's at high jealousy.

The fact that they gave us a gift with a camera in it may imply that they're into voyerism. Not to mention the fact that they're a literal stalker.

The (semi) public sex scenes show some light exhibitionism (not even close to that of Whitney's though).

(High jealousy) Kylar is one of, if not the only character who has a somnophilia scene despite Vrel's comment about not wanting to add much somnophilia since they themself aren't into it.

They absolutely have a marking kink, it just makes sense. The scenes that imply it are there.

They might be a little bit sadistic based on some of their high jealousy scenes.

Kylar is a panty thief which means that they definitely have a scent kink.

I'm 90% sure that they choke us at least once during a high jealousy scene, and Vrel said that they'd be into being choked.

This isn't a kink per se but they canonically use their own drawings as masterbation material and Vrel said that they'd do the same with AI generated images of us as well.

Also they own a custom made sexdoll that looks just like us so that's gotta count for something.

(Update) Bondage is a maybe purely because they have tied us up, mainly to kidnap us but I'll count it regardless.

And those are the ones that I can back up with evidence.

I've seen a few people saying 'Kylar would be into (insert nasty thing here)' and I, unfortunately agree with a lot of them. So here's my grossness warning.

'Painting' us, which is supported by a scene where we're wearing a chastity belt.

Jerking off on/in our clothes and making us wear it afterwards. Which is supported by their marking kink and their scent kink.

Wanting us not to bathe so that they can get off better to our smell. As supported by their scent kink.

Similarly to 3, not wanting us to change our clothes as often so that our smell is stronger/lasts longer when they steal our clothes to get off to.

Carving their name into us, only at max jealousy of course. As supported by their knife play kink, their marking kink and their sadism at max jealousy.

Mad/sad jerking it to pictures of us online because how else would they know about all those photos of us without actively searching for them?

Pleasuring themself with any gift that we give them.

Giving us food with their bodily fluids mixed into it. This is one of the reasons why their food is so bad.

Piss kink but only at max jealousy because they'd get bladder shy otherwise. (Edit: piss kink made canon.)

(Update) Fucking our pillow and or blankets because it smells like us and to make something of ours smell like them for the same reasons as number 2.

(Update 2) Honestly, probably anything that has to do with our bodily fluids.

[beheadable]

So. The rundown, and an explanation on why I kinda look not great in the photos lol

Long ass post warning

So, we get to the con, we're getting our barrings, wondering where the actor guests are and end up happening upon them in the back l've been vaguely nauseous all day. I see him and try so desperately not to dig my nails into my mom's hand after catching a glimpse of him. Nerves, excitement, little bit of awe because beautiful man hahah

Anyway, maybe three people in line counting us, we wait a second it gets to us and he's like "hey, l'm sorry I gotta do photo ops in like ten minutes I don’t want to rush you guys. But it’ll be like ten fifteen minutes and you guys can come back?” and mom and I are like no worries! He’s so courteous about it and it actually really eased my nerves a little

We walk around! We go back, he’s there and there’s one person there so I’m like okay! Great! I’m not the first one walkin’ up! So we wait a second I’m trying to get my shit together so I can speak coherently and somewhat confidently and not end up quiet like usual, it’s awful sometimes. Anyway! I do great! Normal human I don’t sound weird or however like an alien I feel (I cannot express how much I am not built to do shit like this). I gave him the drawing first thing and through it all was a blur but mom said he called it brilliant twice <3 I don’t doubt my skills but it is still, vulnerable. This one was never intended to be seen by him nor literally gifted to him, I poured a lot of reverence into it I probably wouldn’t have otherwise if I did it with the knowledge that he WOULD see it (difference between, ‘I want this to look nice because he’s going to see it’ and ‘I’m drawing beautiful man for myself :]’)

It’s photo time, I hand mom my bag and the lady at the table (most if not all the actor’s tables had a convention employee with them) took like ten photos. I initially tried to keep a respectful distance because like, I don’t know, I’m not gonna go in for a full side hug or whatever but immediately I get squeezed right into him. Good god. Not to be weird or crazy or whatever whatever but I will never forget how that felt. Or he feels. Or any of that. Yes he is as boney and solid as I imagined <3 but just that like ‘you’re real, and sweet’ is what’s getting me. and. Well, mom said it first but it is true with how firm of a squeeze I got, my future boyfriend has a touch to live up to 😤 (I do wish I was mostly joking, but I’m mostly serious). Truly, I scrunched up in surprise and it took a minute to even fully comprehend the fact I’ve been fully tucked into his shoulder. Gonna feel that hand on my arm forever! Not a bad squeeze! The perfect squeeze, to me .

He is genuinely so so lovely and I’m so glad I actually did this. And shoutout to my mom for being the reason I’m here. And for confirming afterwards to me that I did, in fact, not come off as nervous and excited as I actually was and that I handled it well (I was still clearly very happy to be here, obviously, just, chill about it) (I do not think I will handle any situation well ever)

I’m not proofreading any of this tonight I want to go finish typing up my. Journal. Before I pass out. But. I’m happy! I still have two more days, and I’m chill, excited to continue to have a great time with my mom and enjoy my first weekend away from the grandparents in. Two months

Art I gave him……. I do love this one a lot. And!! In lieu of a ‘proper’ autograph (that was an accident but I truly don’t care) the 31 quote I am going to get tattooed on my arm as soon as I can <3 another reason I kinda had to gift him some art of mine… something of ‘me’ to give to him in return of something of his (handwriting) that will end up on me

I’ll cry about this at some point. I wanted to earlier but I was still at the con and I am such an ugly crier it’s awful. Honestly still surprised how emotional this all made me

[the-s1lly-corner]

I’m baaaaack!!

Oh I’ve missed your writing, I just got dragged off due to some stuff irl and having a mini hyper fixation on Eddie Munson-

How are you dear? 🥺 everything okay? Drinking water and eating food? I hope you are!

Would love to see if you could possibly do hcs of all the different ways LJ would comfort you and show you how much he loves you as well as how he’d react to his s/o having gift giving and physical touch be her main love languages!

- 🩶 Anon

Laughing Jack comforting a reader who has gift giving/touch as a love language!

i have one other request in the inbox asides this one but i think imma save it for later since im!! tired.. im doing okay-ish? ups and downs, i will admit the past few weeks i havent been feeling right/like myself but im sure its just a funk or something.. gotta drink more water, though </3 hope you enjoy this anon!

jack is very very clingy himself, like in an emotional sense but also a physical sense... if it were efficient he would wrap himself around you and not let go but unfortunately a lot of things in life would get inconvenienced

a majority of that clinginess comes from his abandonment issues, with only a portion just being a part of his personality

very verbal in wanting to keep you around, and while he may not out right say or ask it, i think sometimes he needs some reassurance from you that youre not going to be going anywhere

will take any chance he can to sling his arm around you, usually just draping it over your shoulders lazily while you guys hang around one another

i dont think hes opposed to hand holding, either.. he has very large hands and theyre warm... sharp claws, though

if anything you might have to ask him to give you space because he wants to spent a lot of his free time with you (and hes got a lot of free time if youre the one in possession of that little box of his); i think sometimes he can get a little overwhelming/overstimulating... i love him but personally i think he could be a little much every now and then

loves leaving you notes, usually leaves some candy with them. typically leaves them in places where he knows you'll find them, like by your keys or at the front door... likes leaving them when he knows youre about to leave for work or any other outing... will still leave them if hes the one leaving for something, although its rare that he needs to head out for something and admittedly i cant think of anything he would need to do/get done that would require him to leave briefly

looooooooooves showering you in affection, especially if you guys are in a romantic relationship; peppers you in kisses and snuggles into your cheek.. hugs, lots of hugs. will take any chance he can get to snake his arms around you. please cuddle him

so i think its safe to say that the physical touch bit is more than satisfied, on both ends

as for gift giving, i gotta say my brain is a little melted so i can tell whos giving and whos receiving, so lets do both!

if youre the one giving gifts to jack hes going to be totally over the moon...! a present? for HIM? is it christmas? is it his birthday? ...i dont.. think he has a birthday, actually... but that aside i think he would adore nearly anything you give him since hes totally obsessed with you. likely keeps it within close reach, be it in his own space, his box, or even in his hair since that functions as a means of storage in my silly hc!!

if hes the one giving gifts i think he would try to slink around to figure out what you like.. if its something more than candy then maybe... this would be one of those rare chances where he leaves the house for something, making sure not to be seen of course. which is easy when he can turn into a puff of smoke at will. honestly knowing him hes probably not going to be able to hold himself back from the gifts, so prepare to wake up to a whole pile of them in the morning... might try his hand at wrapping them but due to his claws theres some holes and slashes... but its the thought that counts..!

though if he needs to hide anything for occasions like birthdays hes not going to be able to keep it a secret... if he doesnt blurt it out hes going to be really antsy and keep checking where ever hes hiding the gifts to see if theyve been found or tampered yet

adding this in because i forgot comforting the reader!! right before i was about to hit post!!

if youre feeling anxious about him leaving or being upset with you i think he would reassure you to the best of his ability

tries to keep the mood light, likely cracks jokes while hes holding your hands... might be slightly rocking your hands back and forth or side to side

looks like the type to kiss tears away... though hes gonna have the be careful about it given that cone nose of his... though him attempting to be gentle while keeping his determination to pepper your face with pecks might be enough to crack a smile from you

literally will not leave you alone until youre smiling

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Imagine: naegamigiri in Death Note 👀

My brain is taking this in 4 different ways. 1. They are simply in the Death Note universe, like, they just live there. Maybe it's some kind of reimagining of some sorts in this crossover. Kyoko being a detective trying to also crack this case and Makoto and Byakuya tagging along. Not really sure what they'd be doing in here. Like, if they were all sleuthing for Light and all too on their own little side thing, not connected to L. I feel they might die though if they're not carful. 2. A reimagining where they are in the roles of Death Note characters. Maybe Kyoko as L, maybe Byakuya as Light and Makoto as Misa or maybe flipping that around or having Toko be Misa and Makoto be someone else. Leaning toward the Makoto as Misa or Makoto being there in that weird trio in general though cus of the messy stuff that could transpire. 3. Weird time-warpy au shenanigans where the three are transported to the Death Note universe by some entity or something and they gotta find a way back home to their own universe or face being stuck in this one forever. 4. They have the Death Note, either in a "they're in the Death Note universe" way or in a "They have the Death Note with them in their universe" way. This can go so many differing directions though. Like, it could be just in the first game of some sorts, maybe the 2nd or in the Danganronpa 3 anime. Also reminds me, I THINK there was a weird equivalent of the Death Note as a gift in one of the games. The Love Note I think? I forgot from which game or if I'm just making this up though. The problem I'm facing though is that I have not watched Death Note, I only know the basic gist but not any of the cool stuff, and also "I take a potato chip, and eat it!". That's it ;-; Like, I would have done something cooler like draw this but I am just at a loss of what to do and I don't wanna just be cheap and just snatch a screenshot and draw that.I really should watch it to be honest. I moslty say watch since I have no way to get the manga or anything and I have a better shot at the anime. I have no way to though at the moment and I'm too far into Danganronpa to get out right now. I could maybe though with some planning. Like, if I'm able to play Omori, I should be able to watch some anime or something!! At least I hope. I could just be giving myself too much credit here hehe! Edit: Added like, 3 tags cus I forgor them before! My bad!

[kyuusberry]

assign you're moots to an idol & a trope for valentines 🤭? and explain why 🤭?

key to your heart | moots - imagine

pairing: moots x idols

genre/theme: fluff, many different tropes lol

warnings: kissing, cursing

notes: all of my stories, oneshots, drabbles, ect are all fiction (fake/made up) except for the idols!! my stories do not depict how these idols actually act or their sexual orientation (straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, aromantic, ect). the only time you'll ever read semi-true things is if it's my headcanons then i do use some facts from kprofiles and sometimes youtube videos but that's it.

a/n: before we start, i'm going to sincerely apologize because i've never done this before, so this will be a struggle.. the only time you'll ever see me write male idols as well because i gotta create a variety for this type of stuff!! also, i only have 3 moots atm, so that's sad lmao

credits (tropes): @delusionisaplace , @urfriendlywriter

cis men, homophobes, racists, 20+, smut accounts dni

female idols:

kai (@rosiehrs): i feel like ningning (aespa) tbhh! your personalities match a lot! and i think a stay with me tonight trope where ningning would be playing with your hair while watching a movie and after the movie, you say that you have to leave, but she doesn't want you to leave!! she would say something along the lines of "don't leave me alone.. please?" she'd be attached to your hip, wanting to shower you in hugs and kisses all of the time!! just wants to show her affection :((

ash (@aeriniee): giselle (aespa) with a grumpy x sunshine trope!! gigi is totally the type of person to not show her affection cause she's too shy!! just randomly hugs you and hides her face in your neck!! or whenver you hug her, she either stiffly hugs you back or just stands there like an npc, all flustered. she looks and seems so mean all of the time, but she's such a softie on the inside, spoiling you with gifts and stuff.. chose this because i think you're honestly like this trope sm!! so nice and loving :( these r just sounding like headcanons at this point LMAO

yin (@yinyinwon/@so-lychee): wonyoung!! (iz*one & ive) and maybe like a fake dating trope??? cause wony wants to get back at her ex or smth lmaoo!! she'd end up falling in love though! i feel like it would be something along the lines of her asking you (more like bribing you) in the bathroom because she wants to get back at her ex for leaving her, trying to convince them to take her back, telling you stuff like, "they're looking. kiss me. now." until she falls in love with you, completely forgetting about her ex and telling you stuff like, "forget them, i'm yours now." gdhkaldskxndbv i want this for myself aw chose this 'cause i lowkey think you'd fit with wony!! ur posts are so pretty and your personality is very beautiful lol

male idols:

kai (@rosiehrs): hyunjin (skz) for sure!! with an academic rivalry or something! he'd be so cocky whenever he gets better grades than you by like 1 point or something!! bothers you 24/7. always appears when you're doing something other than working/doing schoolwork like taking a break or texting your parents!! everyone thinks he has a crush on you and he always denies it!! i chose this trope and idol cause i think you're very nice and smart!! picked hyunjin 'cause he fits this lol (in my imagination)

ash (@aeriniee): soobin (txt) with one-sided love probs?? like he really likes you and he tries not to make it obvious?? but everyone thinks he's obvious!! loves giving you gifts and affection (hugs, holding hands, ect) such a sweet baby tbhhh!! says stuff like, "your smile is pretty." while smiling so sweetly gkdlksjb based this off of your post asking if u should come out as lesbian cause you haven't liked a boy since the 8th grade LMAO, but soobin cause ur both very funny and caring!! leader material as well.

yin (@yinyinwon/@so-lychee): jungwon (enhypen) ofccc! (it was because of ur user..) a chaotic duo, i feel like! nothing romantic, just pure friendship! you two would do everything together, some crazy shit too.. people would honestly think you two were drunk!! would be something along the lines of, "bitch, what the hell are you doing!" "i'm walking!-" then one of you runs into a pole or whatever.. chose this because you two are the sweetest people everrr! so adorable <33

a/n: hope you enjoyeddd!! this made my head hurt a lot lmao, so much thinking and trying to match idols.. mooties, i hope these didn't make you uncomfortable lmaooo!!! love you guys and happy valentines <33 i'll take you guys all on a virtual date sometime /j

[ask-the-royal-absol]

@Hope & Felix: Hi Hope; Hi Felix, its great to see you again. So, question to you both; Does the Underdark or Terrestria celebrate its own holidays? I'm asking because we just celebrated a couple of them just recently and I wanted to snag some gifts for the both of you and Destino as well, if I can, as I'm the Celebrate Anon.

Hope: How did that happen?

Felix: Destino being royalty means they can choose for things ta happen and their parents allow it.

Hope: That’s not…no. I’m sorry but in my kingdom, I can’t just say my birthday is a holiday and it’ll suddenly become a thing. That’s stupid. And everyone is ok with it?

Felix: It’s pretty harmless so nobody cares. All it means is that Destino is wished a happy birthday on their special day if ya see ‘em. I’m the only one that ends up givin’ ‘em a gift. Well, me, their parents and the bisharps but that’s it.

Hope: Fair enough, if it helps them to feel important.

Felix: Ya were gonna talk about ya holidays?

Hope: Oh yeah. We have a lot. It varies from religion to religion.

Felix: Religion?

Hope: Yeah. Lots of Pokémon worship different legendary Pokémon, believing certain ones are the creators of the world. Pokémon, like the one known as the Relentless Torrent or the Ancestral Guardian, have their own religious movements which means certain holidays are put in place to appease them. For example, the Day of Ash is a day where Pokémon from the movement of the Living Magma will throw ash into the volcano in order, as they believe, give it sustenance so the Living Magma does not leave the volcano.

Hope: Dad tells me to celebrate as many as I can. Not because I believe in them - the guardian informed me of how the world was made - but more as a symbol for the people of my kingdom, or at least that’s what dad says. And a lot of them are so much fun. Some have some incredible traditions too which I love taking part in. I’m kinda glad I have dad making me aware of all of these movements as it means I get to be closer to the Pokémon I’m gonna eventually rule over.

Felix: Damn, sounds like ya really care for ya subjects, considering ya have ta go ta all these celebrations and all.

Hope: I try my best. Though it does mean I can get incredibly busy sometimes.

Hope: Vacation? Ha! That would be a dream. I don’t get much in terms of “free time”. Royal duties and all.

Felix: Surely ya must get some time off. Destino doesn’t really have ta do but they still give ‘emselves a break if it’s too much for ‘em.

Hope: Destino is going to find it incredibly difficult when they take the throne then. Not gonna put it lightly but if they’re not doing something everyday, they’re not gonna last long.

Felix: I never said they were doing nothin’. Just that they like to balance their royal duties with havin’ some free time. It’s important to ‘em. They value their free time. Work life balance, ya know. They sometimes help distribute food, read ta kids, settle things between two Pokémon.

Hope: There’s no way I’d be able to have a break. It’s hilarious Destino has to have breaks when they have nowhere near as many responsibilities as me.

Hope: My days usually start with an hours worth of training, followed by a meet and greet with a group of Pokémon - that usually takes a couple of hours as I have to give a speech about myself and the royal family and how we support the kingdom. Then I visit a couple of the local schools so I can listen to the kid read and help out as best I can - sometimes I’m even allowed to teach Pokémon moves classes. Gotta inspire the young ones, you know? I have a quick 10 minute lunch before meeting other groups of Pokémon for 3 ish more hours, do a couple more hours of training, maybe meet with a few more of my subjects, then I’ll get a quick dinner, or as quick as I possibly can, then back to meeting with other Pokémon and slipping in some training in my free moments. Sometimes the meet and greets don’t last as long so I can have a quick moment to myself.

Felix: …That doesn’t sound healthy.

Hope: What do you mean?

Felix: That’s ya every day? Every single one of those activities?

Hope: Yeah. I don’t see what the-

Felix: Hope, how’s that sustainable for ya? Ya gonna end up burning yaself out.

Hope: Ha, you’re worrying too much. I’m perfectly fine. Besides, it’s all for the good of the kingdom.

Felix: Alright, so how are ya allowed ta do all of this if ya schedule is so jam packed?

Hope: My old man has no idea I’ve gone and done this. He probably thinks I’ve gone to help someone or something. Everything’s fine.

*A brief thought slipped into Hope’s mind. A memory of the King and Queen of the Underdark leaving to go and tell her father of what she had done. Shit. Perhaps he would know. It’s not like she’d get in trouble with him. Maybe she should have told her father before leaving. Too late now. Felix noticed the faintest drop in Hope’s confident expression. Even though he only just met her, hearing about how full her day was with a lack of down time made him slightly worry about her. At least Destino could manage their time well.*

[adorerinn]

HIII I LOVE UR MATCHUPS AND IS totally normal about them and would love one too pls, and I'd like to be 🎏 anon!

I'm a girl and l'd love a LONGGG romantic matchup with a guy please

A brief desc of what I look like: I'm 167 cm, l've got long brown hair w new bangs which I love. I have some semblance of siren eyes which unfortunately scare some ppl off ://, therefore I’d prefer someone on the taller side please 🫶🏼

Personality: I'm the most versatile person I know, a true ambivert I believe. love quiet time but also feed off of energy when I'm around people and is totally okay with just sitting in silence with my friends. I'm attentive to my people and my giving love language is gift-giving, acts of service and quality time. I'm very aware of a lot of things happening around me, especially myself. I notice things most don't see like how my friends walk in different shoes (literally) or how they shift their body when they're uncomfortable. But this awareness also makes me feel bad sometimes when I notice something's up and I do nothing cause it gets so tiring, and then i feel guilty afterwards and think about what I should've done to help when literally no one had either.

I'm an ENFP and l'd love to be paired with a char of a suitable mbti. I'm confident, a little too much sometimes but mostly as a joke, about my looks and values in life. I also LOVEE deeptalks, depth in conversation is what i live for!!

I'm an artist and I love to draw and want to become an art director when I'm older cus l'm also a businesswoman at heart (gotta get that bag yk)

I'm also a huge fashion kid, as in whatever funky piece of clothing i see, i style and wear. I mix it up a lot so anything with squiggly fabric or ruffles and skirts as tops, you get the gist.

Ideal type:

I'm not super sure i can encapsulate a "type", but I'm not into gruff types (like iwa l'm so sorry), a little mean yes but not gruff yk. I'd love someone with a sense of humor and one that can match my energy, both calm and otherwise. I need someone attentive towards me as

much as i am to others. And someone wealthy please, i love giving gifts to people and showering them with support and affection and sometimes i just feel like it's one sided (apart from my family I receive gifts like i do others with only 3 friends :/). It might be a little selfish i know but i just need to feel loved like that i guess? And someone willing to ride all the scary rollercoasters with me (adrenaline junkie)

Appearance-wise, l'm into more feminine faces, my max for masculine is like chris evans , but i think all asian faces have a touch of femininity in them so i have practically no rejects in terms of characters. No facial hair tho, I'm super icked out by that, and body types are also versatile. My fav char is tsukki and he's built like a pencil but i love bo's body type too :))

Dream date: I'D LOVE A DANCE DATE, not professionally but like dancing tgt to pop classics from the early 2000s is a dream, literally anywhere (a club, the living room etc)

I hope i got everything, sry if it's long i love to ramble looking forward to a reply, thanks so much 😋😋

I match you with Suna Rintaro!

✧ Suna would definitely be a perfect match for you!

✧ you could for sure have a long and romantic relationship with him (I just feel like once he's found that special person he sticks with them no matter what)

✧ loves your ambieverted personality even if he's a bit more on the introverted side

✧ likes being able to spend some quiet time maybe put on some music while he's at it (I just KNOW he has a good playlist for every occasion)

✧ always keeps any gift you give him. he will probably just have the all scattered around somewhere in his room but he does appreciate them a lot

✧ likes being able to spend time with you even if you aren't doing anything or just sitting in silence. he just appreciates your presence

✧ definitely notices how you notice the tiniest things and thinks it's cool especially since he's the same way. you both would probably whisper to each other and just point out the smallest things ever

✧ always reassures you that it's okay and that you don't have to always help out people even if you noticed it

✧ likes how you can be confident even if it's just as a joke he thinks it's cool you can be confident even if it's not real. he just appreciates it and prefers people to be confident instead of just always being shy or something like that

✧ would for sure have late night talks about the most random things which will eventually lead to deeper conversations but he all for them

✧ he probably watches you draw and if you were to give him a drawing he would most likely have one of your drawings folded up in his wallet or some random jacket pocket

✧ likes how you have a dream to be an art director. he likes it when people have a goal set in mind instead of just going with the flow

✧ adores your fashion sense. he just thinks it's cool to have such a unique fashion taste. would also probably want you to choose some of his outfits if he can't decide what to wear

✧ most definitely has a sense of humor. (I feel like he has brainrot humor IT'S TRUE BC I SAID SO)

✧ would be able to match energy (he's probably still a kid at heart I just know it)

✧ of course most of them time he is very calm and attentive. he would probably notice when you're feeling even a little bit down and would try to cheer you up as best as he can

✧ would definitely buy you small gifts that he sees in shops and gets them just because they reminded him of you

✧ LOVES going on roller coasters and will go on whatever ride you choose. he just likes the thrill of rides

✧ would like to just mess around and dance to stupid music. he would enjoy to dance in the living room (he probably wouldn't wanna go to clubs just because he tries to act all nonchalant)

✧ overall I think Suna Rinatro would be the perfect match for you and you both would get along great

hi anon!! I hope you enjoyed your match up feel free to request again!

[paradoxical-catastrophe]

It’s probably just the Frontal Lobe developing combined with dissociation but… anything even 6 months ago just feels like… not me, though I can recognize it as me. But anything like… 2-3 years ago, I could easily be convinced that was not me.

Vent ig? More just complaining. TW mentions vague of sui. This is all just random jumping back and foward about shit on my mind

Even just comparing highschool to now…

I did so many clubs and extracurriculars in ms/hs, and wanted to do more. I did a military program, band, a team creativity program thing, martial arts… I even wanted to do stuff like chess club, math competitions, orchestra, etc.

I drew constantly, I did my homework, I attended everything, I generally felt productive.

And now like… the last time I drew was over a month ago. I had to drop most things due to lack of time and loss of motivation, I only do band now. And… I don’t practice my instrument. I constantly forget homework, I never study. I was a gifted kid, and I thought the burnout would plateau in college. But it’s only gotten worse. I haven’t made any friends here. I don’t know my roommates names or anything about them. I haven’t made a proper meal (aka actual cooking, not just box stuff) in weeks.

I want to indulge my hobbies more. And I know the biggest reason I couldn’t is because of Friend Issues™️, deteriorating mental health, and school. And like yeah I’m finally getting out of ‘need constant distraction or the Harmful Thoughts will come back, but now it’s just… I feel empty without it.

I miss the kid I was. She couldn’t have ever imagined life would be like what it is now…

She has no idea we’re trans, we’re disabled, we broke up with that one guy who actually turned out to have cheated on us, lost that one friend who meant everything to us, learned how actually disgusting this stupid state is to the point I’m scared and tempted to take down any visible pride things I have because of elections, not even the fact we’re a system.

But like we got cool ass dyed hair and piercings and tattoos that’s sick at least. I want more.

It’s hard to think about what my life would have been like if I hadn’t done this one thing. If I hadn’t spoken to this person, if I hadn’t watched this show, if I hadn’t gotten an account on this website…

Yet, I really don’t think there’s a universe where life is any better than this. There’s a lot of shit, but there’s some wonderful things too.

Yeah I was cheated on, injured my leg, traumatized, constantly sick as a kid, made absolutely terrible mistakes, but. Now I’m in an apartment studying something I love, I’m playing fantastic music and I’m a lovely musician, I’m making fashion choices that I like, I’m doing what I want with my body. I’ve even got a fantastic boyfriend and group of friends that I don’t feel like I have to pretend around. I never realized how much I was masking and pretending and hiding until I met these people.

Idk whether I’m happy or sad. Something something cancelled out I guess. Now that Friend Issues™️ is over after being stuck with them for over a year, things finally feel like they’re (somewhat) going up. Just gotta stay alive until then. And I think working on fixing my sleep schedule is helping. No more staying up till 5-6 am!! Need a Morgana to bitch at me to sleep smh

I should pick up a new hobby. I still kinda feel like I’m distracting myself with my interests instead of enjoying my hobbies. I’d like to do something artistic, but I don’t have the motivation to really draw.

Maybe I’ll have some motivation tomorrow between classes. I do wanna draw my new oc and give him a solid outfit instead of just ‘inspo’…

[twilightmalachite]

ABYSS - The Ocean of ■ That Drips Downwards 1

Author: Akira

Characters: Souma, Kanata, Madara

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Kanata is not yet a god, so he does not know anything."

Season: Winter

Location: Funeral Venue

13 years ago from ES’ first year of establishment. At a funeral venue, somewhere in Tokyo…

Souma: I’m freeeee~!

(Now, what to do! Think, Souma! There’s only half an hour of free time left! Which is, umm, about thirty minutes!)

(I need to make the most of my time with… With something! I mustn’t make waste!)

…But, I’m hungry.

I have a feeling Father forgot about my food.

(What do I do? One can’t fight on an empty stomach…)

(Usually its Mother who prepares my food, but… Mother will be giving birth to my cute younger brother soon.)

(She can’t move because she’s so heavy. So there’s nothing that can be done. We can’t have her walk such a long way away.)

(Even if this funeral… is of someone of utmost priority to our clan.

(Mhm, seems like someone has passed away.)

(Someone who seems to be of great importance to us.)

(Or, perhaps it's offensive to address them as “someone”?)

(Because, that person seems to be a “god”.)

(…A funeral for a god? Do gods die? Hmm…?)

(Well, if they die, they die! Father and Mother would never be wrong about something!)

Uggh, I’m getting hungry thinking so hard. I’m starving. Not even the Great Taikou-sama[1] would have thought we’d suffer and starve to death in the affluent, modern Japan…!)

(Maybe I should ask Father to cook me something to eat~… But he looked busy, and he’s always talking about how boys don’t belong in the kitchen.)

(Hm. In that case, it appears I have no choice but to find food myself.)

(I’m sure if I look hard enough, I can find some insect or beast that can be used as nourishment.)

(No, now that I’m looking closer, food is lined up everywhere!)

(Or is this a mirage that I am seeing?)

(I’m not sure, but this must be a gift from god! In other words, umm, God has helped me!)

(I am filled with gratitude!)

(…Do I need permission to eat this? Will I get scolded? But, there’s nobody around for me to get permission from…)

(And, ugh~… and I’m hungry!)

Thanks for the food!

*chomp chomp*… Ugh, the flavor is so strong. Mother’s food is much more mild…

(Ah! Someone’s coming! Oh no, it’d be embarrassing to be caught stealing food! It’s a shameful act as the child of a samurai family!)

(I-I gotta hide… I’ll go under the table and use it’s curtain to hide myself.)

(Hurry, Souma! Go!!)

Kanata: …Wha, oh?

Souma: ….!?

Kanata: Hm~? Hm~? Hm~?

Souma: …? …?

(What? Who? There’s someone suspicious~!)

(Who is this guy? He’s got a strange air surrounding him…)

Kanata: Is someone there? Mikejima, is it you?

Souma: (Huh? Eh? What’d he say?)

(What a strange-sounding voice… I couldn’t understand him.)

Kanata: …Mikejima.

…Or, not. You smell different.

*lick*…. Hm, and taste different.

Souma: Hyaah!? What did you just do!? Are you a youkai!?

Kanata: Who are you?

Souma: W-Who are you? What are you doing here?

Kanata: Kanata is not doing anything.

Doing nothing, in a sense.

Souma: ? ? ?

Kanata: Do you not understand, Child?

Is it difficult to understand what Kanata is saying?

Souma: K,-katana?[2] No, did you say “Kanata”? Is that your…?

Madara: —Mikejima has arrived when you least expect it!

Souma: Gyahh!?

Madara: Whoaa there, I hit him pretty hard, but who's this guy? Know him, God?

Kanata: Kanata is not yet a god, so he does not know anything.[3]

Also, you took a long time coming back, Mikejima.

Madara: Sorryyy, I had a bit of trouble securing an infiltration route, you see—

Souma: (W-Who is this person? These people? They look to be about the same age as me…)

(Ahh, no good. I was already feeling dizzy from hunger, so the shock of getting hit is making me feel faint…)

(I’ve been, defeated… Losing, consciousness…)

… …

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1. Referring to Toyomi Hideyoshi, a samurai who later rose to feudal lord. He used to be a retainer of Oda Nobunaga, and succeeded him to unite Japan during the Sengoku period.

2. Souma uses the kanji for katana (刀) here out of confusion, since it's similar to Kanata.

3. This line here is partially voice-acted in-game if you'd like to hear baby Kanata speak!