#gotham is just like that
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Would anyone be interested in a pokemon cryptid batfam Au?
Like, Pokemon just being a Gotham thing thanks to all the magic curses, the many, many, chemicals everywhere, the canonical reality warping and all of that. Like the local plants and fauna just started mutating and evolving like that.
And Batman was originally seen as some sort of cryptid or living shadow sort of creature. So with the rapidly changing flora and fauna going around in Gotham, someone is eventually going to put forth the idea of some sort of mutated person or creature.
And I am just saying, Bruce has a weird sense of humor. He would probably find such rumors hilarious. He might even say, lean into them. He might say, commit to the bit.
And then forget to mention it to anyone else once the League is formed. It might completely slip his mind that they're not in the know like the batfamily members
#batman#batman au#dc#dcu#cryptid batman#cryptid batfam#Gotham is just Like That#pokemon crossover#pokemon#let's be honest the batkids would be down for this chaos too#You know the ao3 story Loading and Aspect Ratio#they would definitely pull something like that#prompts#batfamily#batfam#they already build equipment based off of irl animals#So what's to stop them from doing the same to the crazy creatures popping up in Gotham
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Dick (Nightwing) and Jason (Robin) stare at Bruce. One sports pleading eyes, the other a shit eating grin. There’s a child between them with black hair and blue eyes.
Bruce, he doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t like it: No.
Dick, grinning: He’s our younger brother now.
Jason, nodding seriously: You’re not gonna take him from us.
Tim, got kidnapped while taking photos of patrol, just happy to be there: Where’s the Batcave?
Bruce: what.
Dick, grinning wider: He’s ours now.
#batman#dc comics#kid!tim#I love those fics#they need to make Nightwing a little more unhinged tho#like I would expect both Jason and Dick to hate each other until they find a common enemy (Bruce)#and annoy the shit out of him#or until they find stalker Timothy Drake following them are met with a bought of brotherly concern so strong they don’t even blink an ey#they don’t even care when tim accidentally calls them by their civilian name#they just look at each other and kidnap him#Tim’s just along for the ride#he gets to swing with them through Gotham (so cool!!) and ride nightwings motorbike!!! and see the batcave!!!#little eight year old Tim’s dream come true#tim Drake#Jason Todd#dick Grayson#Robin#Nightwing#bruce wayne#batfamily#batfam#mine
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In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of
#this was going to be a quick little thing and ended up consuming the better part of a day#why am I like this#while we discuss batfam doing sports just for the fun of absolutely crushing the competition#I raise you quarter back Jason#He's got killer aim I'm told#jason todd#jason todd fanart#batfamily#batfamily fanart#gotham knights#gotham university#gotham sports#gotham knights football#bruce wayne#barbara gordon#dick grayson#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#gothamites are scary#singswan-springswan art
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One of the perks of living in Gotham is that occasionally you’ll walk past a Wayne having the most batshit insane conversation anybody has ever had.
Walk past Dick Grayson on the street and hear him say into his phone, “I don’t think he’s anti-vax, but Superman is definitely not vaccinated.”
Stand outside of the downtown WE building and see Tim Drake walk out with his tall friend only to pause and say, “Hold on, I just got the mental image of Lex Luthor pregnant. Thanks for that.”
A lucky few who ride the same subway line as the newest Wayne edition, overheard Duke tell Stephanie that living in Wayne Manor is, “Alright, but when I moved in Jason and Damian gave me a knife and said I had to kill Tim. Said it was tradition.”
“It kinda is. Did you do it?”
“No!” Duke says, to the relief of the overhearers. “Get this…he stabbed himself.”
“…yeah, I should’ve guessed that.”
The downside to living in Gotham is literally everything else.
#the second best thing about living in Gotham is overheating the robins have the most batshit insane convo you’ve ever heard#overhearing*#Duke showed up at Wayne Manor was given a knife and when he told Tim about it#Tim took the knife and stabbed him self (a little) and then shouted to Bruce that Duke stabbed him#because and I quote ‘they won’t leave you alone until you do it’#Duke was just like: WTF am I getting myself into here#batfam#Gotham#dick Grayson#Tim drake#Duke Thomas
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POV: You're on Gothamtwt
just gothamite things
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
#a person could literally explode in broad daylight & gothamites would just b like: wow crazy. anyways#ppl from other cities shit talk gothamites all the time but lets be real theyre probably the most durable kind of ppl#fucking brainiac could come down and threaten gotham & the citizens would just be like 'ok lol do ur worst'#every week u'll see a different piece of bat paraphernalia get auctioned off on twitter & the entirety of gotham treats it like a sport#social media au#dc comics#nightwing#dick grayson#barbara gordon#oracle#jason todd#red hood#stephanie brown#spoiler#damian wayne#robin#black bat#cassandra cain#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batman#bruce wayne#incorrect quotes#texts#tweets#twitter#crack#fanatical posting
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The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.
A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.
Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"
Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.
The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.
There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp crossover#c: danny fenton#c: dick grayson#c: jason todd#c: bruce wayne#c: joker#dp x dc prompt#it's ambiguous on purpose but I originally intended for Danny to be deaged? but some people don't like that so it's only implied#Jason hasn't laughed that hard since he died#nightwing is mostly just horrified that he let danny that close to joker to begin with#batman is like “hnn” >:(#why didn't danny escape? its your decision#are his powers not working?#is the joker a ghost he's trying to capture?#is he a hero fanboy who wanted to see the gotham knights in their natural habitat?#whose to say? :)
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#Tim and Jason find each other's fics and decide that they're now in a mutually assured destruction agreement then beta each other's fics
how crazy do you think the AO3 authours notes are in gotham?
"Joker killed my grandma with a reindeer whilst playing 'grandma got run over by a reindeer' and i don't think i can continue to write this JokerBat fic anymore guys sorry :/ it just feels disrespectful."
“Look, I get if Batman/Clark Kent isn’t your cup of tea, but the guy writes more about Batman than anyone else outside of Gotham. There’s got to be a reason, is all I’m saying.”
“And here I am, jumping on the Batman/Bruce Wayne train like the rest of our beloved hellhole. Anyway, if you’re not from Gotham you can keep your criticisms to yourself or I will not be held responsible for the bloodshed that will occur should you insult our beloved sunshine child and his goth sugar baby. You don’t know them like we do.”
“Hey, sorry I haven’t updated in awhile. I died and then got caught up in this whole my-father-didn’t-avenge-me angst thing. Which was completely justified in my opinion. Anyway…”
“Let’s be honest, this entire series is dedicated to the fact that Red Hood could crush any of us with his thighs and we’d say thank you.”
“I just read a fic shipping Nightwing/Superman and I mean, come on. The author is clearly not from Gotham but I can never unsee that and I think I should be entitled to financial compensation.”
“Sorry it’s been awhile, I just got a new job! With the Best Boss™️ (if you know, you know). Also, my boss said he’d give a hundred bucks if I wrote a Batman bashing fic? Thoughts? Ngl I don’t think it’d even be that hard.”
“‘WHy aRE yoU WriTIng ABouT FakE SupERheROes WHen THe rEAl oNEs aRE riGHt tHEre?’ Uh, because it’s Gotham and they’re all a disaster? And also because I don’t want to be haunted by the venegeful spirits of robins past idk. Thinking of doing a crossover though. Batman in the Avengers? Thoughts?”
“I just want my husband Nightwing to be happy, is that too much to ask?”
“I came across Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy on my way home from school today and will now be hyperfixating on that ship, thanks.”
“Leave me and my 235k word fic of Prince!Bruce/Knight!Batman alone you Metropolis and Superman-loving traitors. This is not for you.”
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Always Favors You
Another Sibling Danny and Jason idea!!
"Are you Jason Peter Todd?!" demanded a deep and commanding tone from the strange glowing being in front of them.
All the Bats stiffened and tensed, no doubt gearing up for a fight against the being that somehow knew Red Hood's full name.
Jason, Red Hood, decided to put on a brave front despite no doubt cursing in his head and wondering how the heck did this thing know his full freaking name.
"Whose asking." he snarled out, his hands twitching for his gun when the huge glowing knight with purple flames coming out of his helmet and cape, who was riding on a nightmare looking horse while they all had been in the cave going over tonight's patrol.
The Knight didn't seemed bothered by his response nor did he even seem to care or flinch when Batman made his own demand on 'Why was he there and who was he' or when Damian unsheathed his sword and pointed it towards him. Instead the strange glowing Knight reached to it side and pulled out... A glowing scroll? Huh. (Also he completely unnerved everyone in the room when the Knight didn't even react when Batman had tossed a Baterang when he reached for his side)
The Knight opened the scroll and spoke clearly with purpose.
"Jason Peter Todd,
You are hereby invited as a special guest of honor to the crowning of our future King of the Infinite Realms.
Daniel Phantom, once Daniel Jackson Fenton, and once Daniel Austen Todd.
Prince of the Infinite Realms, the Keeper of Balance, The Peacekeeping Halfa, the Defeater of the Tyrant King Pariah Dark, The Great One, Youngest of the Ancients, Ancient of Space, The Bridge between Life and Death.
You, the half-brother of our King, have been given the highest of honors for your past actions and will be given housing and food in the Realms and Phantom's Keep, for the week long event. Personal servants and attendants will be at your disposal and a seamstress will be on hand to tailor make your attire for the Coronation.
Signed: Clockwork. Ancient of Time. Watcher of the Infinite Timeline. Kronos. Mentor and Adviser.
PS: I shall have Fright Knight ("Me" the Knight bluntly said for a second) leave this scroll along with a personal one for you from Daniel to read over and once you make up your mind sign the bottom of the scroll.
I do hope in time you will pick the right choice Jason Todd, we of the Infinite Realms would like to reward you for your actions. After all, if you hadn't gotten young Daniel away from your father that night all those years ago, we would never had gained our Prince nor be free from our once Tyrant King.
Ah, one more thing.
The Infinite Realms will always favor you Jason."
Jason felt like he couldn't breath as Fright Knight? Rolled up the scroll, pulled a letter from his side, and held out the two items for him to take.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#Danny and Jason are half brothers#Fright Knight#Clockwork mention#Jason saved baby Danny when Willis came home drunk one night and their mom was out of her mind at the moment#Danny had been crying for food and Willis was getting annoyed#Jason managed to run off with baby Danny to a few towns over and put him in a baby box before getting caught a few other towns over by cops#and was shipped back to Gotham#kept his mouth shut about where he put his brother and took any punishment that came afterwords#It set up the timeline where Danny is going to become the Infinite Realms new King#Hence why the kinda sentient Realms 'rewarded' Jason later on when he died aka bringing him back to life#I love the idea of a kinda sentient Realms tbh#it loves Danny because he's been helping rebuild and mend the Realms#Danny is its fav King thus favors those related to him#well everyone but Willis#he's in Walkers prison btw#I want Jason to go tbh and see how every ghost is getting everything ready for the coronation#its chaotic yet organized somehow#I want more Danny's coronation stories#Like I love already King or just finding out Prince Danny but we need more coronation ones tbh
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Everyone knows Batman using Brucie Wayne’s voice while in the cowl, I give you Brucie Wayne using the Batman voice.
Brucie Wayne, wearing a half open very elaborate expensive tailored suit suddenly going ‘Step away from the fountain’ in the deepest voice anyone has ever heard in the entire world and his kids immediately drop what they’re doing and jump away so fast it’s almost comical and the girl and guy in Brucie’s lap just look at him in bafflement and the entire Gala falls quiet. Then Brucie goes ‘ohhh emmmmm ggggggg! Why’d everyone stopped tawwlking!!!” And they continue on like nothing happened but it goes down in history.
#brucie wayne#batman#everyone is terrified from him henceforth#gordon pulls it out when he finally reveals how he knows bruce is batman and the man is confused as to how#'you literally revealed yourself to an entire room. its no wonder tim and my daughter figured it out#im almost scared why other people didnt#this is further proof why gotham needs the batman if theyre this stupid but wtv'#and bruce is just like blushing#batfam#batkids
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Vampire Misunderstanding
So! Danny got adopted by Bruce Wayne, but he doesn't know that Bruce is the Batman. He is just supernaturally oblivious to all things Batman related going on in the House.
But he does notice that Bruce leaves home a lot at night, that he doesn't like to go out in the day and often has his parties at night, and once or twice he's caught Bruce with a bit if blood still splattered on his cheek.
So he comes to the only plausible conclusion. Bruce is a Vampire.
He starts trying to hint at the fact that he knows, but doesn't want to just go out and say it. What if Bruce reacts negatively to him knowing? He's dealt with enough Supernatural Beings to know that they don't like other people (and especially other supernatural beings) intruding on their lives.
So Danny decided to subtly hint at it.
He started asking questions like "So hypothetically, how would you deal with having a Garlic Allergy in Gotham?" Or "So if you had very sensitive skin that could sunburn extremely easily, how much cloud cover would you need to go outside?" And "So what's your opinion on a High-Iron Diet?"
Basically just tossing out questions and trying to Guage Bruce's reaction.
He thinks he's doing a good job!
...
Bruce is certain that he has adopted a Vampire.
Danny is a good kid, but he has a few oddities that are hard to ignore.
For one, his skin is constantly Ice Cold, but he never seens to be bothered by it. As if he was an Undead that didn't require Body Heat anymore.
He also seems to like Hanging out in the Graveyard outside, and when asked about it he says that he is comforted by the place. Just like the Vampires he has met in the past, who feel comfortable when surrounded by Death.
And of course the biggest reason for suspicion is the fact that Danny seems to be hinting at it to him.
He keeps asking stuff like "How would you deal with a Garlic Allergy in Gotham?", probably trying to hint that he is a Vampire who can't eat Garlic, or asking about easy to sunburn skin, saying that he is probably not a Daywalker.
Bruce hopes Danny will just come clean about it soon, he doesn't want to intrude upon the kid when he is so obviously nervous about how he will react.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny thinks Bruce is a Vampire#Bruce thinks Danny is a Vampire#Misunderstandings#Danny is nervous about it because he has a bad experience with Vampires (vlad)#Bruce is nervous because he doesn't want to push Danny away#The Fenton Parents are still alive#They just lost custody of Danny after a CPS worker stumbled upon Amity and had an aneurysm#Jazz is off to college#Though idk if she went to Gotham U or some other College in a safer part of the country#Coincidentally neither Danny or Bruce actually like Garlic#And they both like to stay indoors#And both of them have caught the other with drops of blood on their faces and/or clothes#Idk where the other Batkids are#Maybe Danny was the first kid adopted by Bruce in this timeline?#Or the others are just coincidentally not in thr house at the moment
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I can't help but think that Waylon Jones is seen as super attractive in Dragon Omegaverse Gotham. Man is a walking tank with scales, fangs, and a tail even in human form and even ignoring that dragon form is a normal aspect of personal appearance to them all there has got to be Gothamites whose preferences run towards draconic over humanoid.
Oh definitely!
Any other city and he would not be seen well, but in Gotham, like you said, those that live there are just Built Different. And yeah, some people very much prefer more draconic forms to human ones. I mean, just look at people IRL lmao.
Not to mention in some continuities Waylon has protected a large group of homeless people who lived in the sewers. Which to Gothamites is Very Attractive.
So yeah. You're 100% right lol.
#batman au#dc#dcu#omegaverse#gotham hoard au#dragon gothm#waylon jones#killer croc#world building#ask answered#mostly platonic omegaverse au#alpha beta omega#gotham is just like that#Ngl Waylon & Grundy are best friends in this au#They're swamp buddies#dragon curse au#honestly i feel like waylon is ace
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Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)
Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.
He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)
Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.
(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)
So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!
Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.
With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.
Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!
It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.
#ecto has a weird effect on them actually. a lot like how danielle drinks ecto to keep her stable#ecto has positive health benefits for gothamites! it boosts their immune system gives them a little more energy makes them less irritable#silly hc but i think its fun#also danny just. thought it was a normal ass interview. the person who hired him was heavily hinting at the criminal element of his job the#whole time. danny just kept thinking man i cant believe all interviews are like this in gotham. every one of the#m asks if im okay lying to cops. i am but its weird i never got asked this in amity#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dead on main#ghost kitchen au#danny fenton#jason todd#kipwrite
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[Group Chat: Batfam Surveillance]
Red Robin: There's a new meta in Gotham. Looks like a ghost.
Nightwing: A ghost? Are we talking actual ghost or just someone who really needs to hydrate?
Red Robin: Actual ghost. He's glowing. I'm running scans now.
Batman: Keep him under observation. Gotham doesn't need more problems.
Robin: I can handle him. He's probably just another foolish vigilante.
Signal: He's flying. I just saw him phase through a building. Pretty sure he's not a "foolish vigilante."
Oracle: I'm pulling satellite footage… okay, weird. He's fighting something. A… green blob?
Red Hood: Blob? Like Clayface's cousin?
Red Robin: Nope. That's ectoplasm. 100% ghost confirmed.
[Danny Phantom has joined the chat]
Danny: Uh, hi? Could you not stalk me? I'm just here for the blob.
Red Robin: … How did you get in this chat?
Danny: Hacker friend. Don't worry, I'll leave. Nice to meet you guys! Also, tell your caped guy to stop brooding on the rooftops; it's creepy.
Batman: …
[Danny Phantom has left the chat]
Red Hood: I like him.
#ghost king danny#danny fenton#danny phantom#dps fandom#batfam#batman#batfam groupchat#nightwing#red hood#red robin#oracle#robin#danny in gotham#danny is a little shit#dc x dp crossover#dc x dp#danny just likes causing chaos
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I’m a Size Medium, Thanks.
Danny is irritated. No actually he is beyond irritated. He is annoyed, he is frustrated, he is…. He’s really fricking irritated and can’t be bothered to remember any more of Jazz’s SAT words.
He continues his glare out the window as he searches for his straw with his mouth.
He just- where is it- thinks it’s a stupid fricking-stupid ass milkshake-he shouldn’t have to basically-gah! Danny snaps his head down to find his suddenly missing straw, only to successfully poke it directly into his eye.
“Ow! Fricken-“ He groans, throwing his head back, and putting his hands to his face, “Mother-tucker, Holy Taming of A Shrew!” He pounds his free hand not cradling his eye on the table, trying not to make more of a scene. Of course, this utterly fails because it immediately tips over his milkshake glass with a clatter as it spills onto his pants, making him jump up with enough force to knock the table over and drop the milkshake glass the rest of the way to the floor.
Danny stares at it with blurry vision and a watery eye. He sighs, “At least-“
The glass shatters.
Danny sighs again, deeper. “Of course.”
He looks up at the restaurant around him. Noticing the many, many people staring at him.
Wonderful.
Danny grimaces, “Sorry, I so didn’t mean for that to happen, uh-“ Danny reaches to straighten the table, fumbling for a second before it stands upright, he steps away from it, “If there’s any way I can help or.. like fix it. I can pay for the cup..” a server comes over to him, “if you want..?”
The server’s dead eyes don’t waver as they silently place a wet floor sign over the spilled milkshake.
“Thanks.”
“Uh huh.”
The server walks away, leaving Danny to sigh all on his own. He leans over to grab his backpack from the booth, checking it over for milkshake before slinging it on his back, thankfully clean.
He makes it one step forward before he feels the floor go out from under him. Ah gravity. His greatest enemy. This is karma for all those times he’s ignored it, isn’t it?
The wind is knocked out of him when his back slams to the floor, cushioned by the dulcet sounds of his bag crunching against broken glass.
He looks up at the wet floor sign.
The man on the yellow plastic mocks him.
Danny sighs.
He curses his stupid luck.
He curses this stupid city.
Then he curses himself because he knows any of this stupid city’s curses end up affecting him anyways.
Danny gets to his feet, ignoring the feeling of milkshake on his hands and his… everywhere.
He trudges out of the diner without looking back. At least he’d already paid for it.
He grimaces at the milkshake handprint on the door, trying to wipe it away with his shirt and only succeeding in making it worse.
Danny catches the eyes of the server inside, staring at him, eyes progressively more annoyed.
Danny puts his hands up in surrender and backs away.
Directly into a person. Only his milkshake covered self prevents him from being hit with anything more than the man’s scathing glare.
He puts his hands back up and moves away to dodge everybody else on the sidewalk. Along with the occasional ghost. Visible only to him of course.
By the time he has managed to escape the sidewalks into an alley, he is certain there is a trail of slightly sticky businessmen behind him.
Danny crouches to swing his backpack down in front of him and take stock. Okay, he could put his sweatshirt on over it… but it would also get ruined… damn it.
Danny looks around, checking every inch of the alley for cameras and then backing himself into a corner just to be safe. The flicker of intangibility is barely noticeable except for the wet squelch of milkshake remnants dropping to the alley floor. Lovely.
And of course, the flash of every single Gotham ghost in the area becoming visible and almost tangible for a split second. Also… lovely. There’s a couple startled shouts on the street.
Maybe an alleyway was not the best place for that.
Danny slides his sweatshirt on over his shirt to at least pretend like he was covering a mess and then shimmies out of the alley while trying to make as little contact with ghosts as possible.
He’s almost completely certain he looks crazy as all get out if the stare he gets from a passerby means anything.
Of course… now he’s left glaring across the street again.
He can feel the Infini-Map burning a hole in his backpack. It said this was the next place a natural portal would open and get him back home.
It just didn’t say… when that portal would open.
But of course, it’ll be right in the middle of somebody’s store. Usually not an issue. Except again, this stupid city’s curses are attracted to his energy, so of course the store couldn’t be literally ANYTHING ELSE!
Danny glares at the stupid fricking sign and the stupid predictable pun and the stupid neon hand in the front window waving at him.
‘The Claire Witch Project: psychic, medium, and Claire-voyant’
Danny is on day three of simultaneously avoiding the entire building while remaining close enough he can be there when the portal forms.
He is dirty, tired, and running out of money. In short, Danny is starting to lose hope on this endeavor.
The worst part?
He has the perfect solution.
There’s a pathetic little piece of printer paper taped to the inside of the window.
‘Help wanted’
When he’d first gotten here, Danny had followed the infini-map all the way to this horrific city, seen the sign, and turned a quick 180. He’d rather die again thanks.
He’d smacked into two billboards just coming into the city, and there was literally no stars, why would he want to stay here till the portal opened when he could just find another?
Except.. Danny’s eye twitches dangerously as he thinks back on it- except there wasn’t another portal. This was it. For the foreseeable future, he either caught this portal or was stranded for whoever knows how much longer.
Danny sighs again and dreads his continued existence. He looks both ways on the street, takes a step forward, nearly gets run over, steps back, and turns for the nearest crosswalk.
Fine. He could follow rules if it meant increasing his chances of leaving.
He tries to hold in the sigh this time, he really does, he swears.
Not the one before he opens the shop door though, that sigh deserved freedom from his trials. It joins the myriad of whispy translucent shades lingering in the store. Because of course there was just enough spiritual energy in here for them to be visible to him.
“Hey there!” A girl in loose fitting colorful clothing appears from behind a corner, “I’m Claire! How can I help your life journey today?” He can see the way her bulky crystal hair accessories sway with her movements. What was he getting into here again?
Danny tries to ignore the incense shoving itself up his nose as he speaks, “Hey, I was…” He was really doing this huh? “Hoping that the help wanted position is still available?”
The girl looks him over as she moves to the back of the checkout counter. The clear observation makes him nervous, and he takes his hands out of his pockets to try and look marginally more… candidate-able.
“You have experience?”
“Sure d-“ He wants to throw up in his own mouth, ancients this is so cringe, just let him die, “Sure do!” He says through choked back vomit and false cheer, “I’m a…” -barf- “I’m a medium.”
“Oh don’t worry about that, you don’t need a uniform, I don’t need your size silly!”
Danny blinks. What? Also. What?
“Wait-I’m hired?”
Claire pauses from getting something from under the counter, “Didn’t I already say that?”
“Uh…” Danny’s eyes dart around the shop, “No?”
“Oh well, you are, you have the right vibes, don’t worry,” she slides a few papers onto the glass counter, and Danny is abruptly, horrifically reminded he has no legal documents to speak of here. He thinks. He hasn’t actually checked.
Crap.
“Of course, most of my clients pay in cash, so I’ll pay you in cash too just to make it easier, and any crystal sales I’ll just add to it. Sound good?”
“Sure?” Oh no, is this gonna be Danny’s first real job? “But I don’t know anything about crystals. I have a goth friend but she’s not into that stuff.”
Claire waves his comment away, “Oh no worries, I can leave a packet.”
Danny nods, “Thank- wait, sorry. Leave?”
Claire laughs, pulling out a bag from behind her counter, “Yes I leave for a trip in two days. Family things you know,”
Danny feels like his brain is being scrambled, “Oh, what, what happened? Is everything okay?”
Claire looks at him, blinking wide, “What? Why would anything have happened?”
“Because… you said, you were leaving for-“
“Just don’t want to get caught in a bad position, you know how it is.”
Some of the shades stir in the air, their misty movements twitching with agitation enough to draw his eye for a second.
“Right. Well I’m glad I came when I did then,” Danny says, because he still doesn’t want to be rude.
Claire smiles at him.
Danny pats his hands against his sides awkwardly, trying not to look up at the movement of the shades intertwined with incense smoke at the ceiling.
There’s a little jingle behind him, which he belatedly realizes is the door when Claire moves to greet them before he can even turn around.
“Ms. Jives! Wonderful to see you! How’s the goldfish?”
Ms. Jives turns out to be a slightly older woman, maybe early seventies with a cane but she looks good. The coffee brown hair is almost certainly a dye job but it frames her wrinkled face well.
“Oh Jim is lovely dear, much better this way, I bought him a new plant just the other day, he just loves it.”
“Good, here for your reading right?”
“I am! But you can finish up with your customer first if you need,” Ms. Jives says. Claire waves her concern away.
“No need, this is Danny, I just hired him, he has a similar mystical connection.”
“Oh that’s lovely,” Ms. Jives says as she passes by him, “Would you like to come with dear? Claire is going to do a reading for me.”
Danny grimaces, “Sure.”
In the end, by the time Ms. Jives makes it slowly to the back room, Danny is trying to think of where he’s gonna sleep tonight. He mostly zones out when Claire dims the lights and starts talking nonsense.
All he heard was “something something card, something something magician something reversed something something balance something something chihuahua.”
Ok, maybe he wasn’t listening. But he was trying to focus on not staring at the movement of the shades, and the incense was mega strong and Claire had some weird ass music playing. He’s almost certain she’s faking everything. Down to the atrociously bright bead earrings.
Danny sags when she finishes, all too happy to leave the weird little curtain covered room.
He stands in the front awkwardly while Ms. Jives pays, twiddling with the various crystals and trying to figure which ones are actually y’know.. mystical or whatever.
Answer? Surprisingly most of them. That he could tell, at least, but it’s not like he actually knows how to sense that out on purpose. He’s pretty sure a couple of the heart shaped rose quartzes are complete duds but what does he care.
He’s thoroughly bored by the time Claire calls him back over. Apparently to tell him that he’ll do a reading tomorrow.
“Tomorrow?!” Danny blurts, “Don’t you want to like- I don’t know, make sure I can- or like.. I don’t know, but tomorrow?”
Claire just smiles at him, “I believe you can handle it, trust me.”
‘Trust you? Lady, I just met you and you’ve been nothing but crazy the whole time!’ Danny wants to say, instead, he keeps his mouth shut and nods with what he’s sure is fear in his eyes.
Then she’s pressing something into his hands and when he looks down it’s a key. A key. There’s no way-
“So be here 9am sharp, Danny! You can open up and I’ll come in later!” Claire starts pushing him towards the door, “And Mr. Wayne should be waiting for you when you get here!”
Danny turns around to catch himself in the doorframe, “Mr who will be what now!? Wait, Ms. Claire, Ma’am- why-!” He stops to lower his volume and ask politely, “Why am I doing this? You don’t even know me,” Danny says, one leg still in the store.
Claire smiles, “Because the universe told me to silly! See you tomorrow! Here’s my number!” Then she slaps a sticky note to his chest with enough finality that Danny takes a step back. The door closes with a click and ring of the bell inside.
Danny stares at the door with his eye twitching for at least a minute.
What the hell did ‘the universe told me to’ even mean, you kook!?
Danny sighs and looks down at the sticky note, quickly inputting the number in his phone before something happens to it.
He’s barely hit save when he finally steps away from the shop front and…. is immediately drenched to the bone.
Because apparently it’d been pouring rain and he simply hadn’t noticed from under the awning.
He watches as blue ink slides off the sticky note in little sad face streaks.
Danny sighs.
#batman#danny phantom#batfam#danny fenton#dc#danny phantom crossover#batman and robin#bruce wayne#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#Richard Grayson#Timothy Drake#Damian wayne#Damian al Ghul#I need it to be explicitly clear that the girl is not wearing:hoop earrings#a hair wrap#belly dancing skirt#heavy makeup#she is very much kombucha-Yerba matte-cowry shell-rose quartz-meditation-spirituality-veggie life white girl psychic#okay#in no way does she emanate Romani psychic vibes#not because she’s culturally sensitive or anything- shes not -she’s just like this naturally#anyways#alfred pennyworth#Gotham#dpxdc#dp x dc#psychic Danny Fenton#this is a Constantine free post keep him out of this I’m sick of him and don’t want to hear about his loser personality
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yeah... things are pretty yikes right now in the current batfam storyline,
but at least Tim is rocking those thigh-high boots and I just wanted to appreciate that for a sec
#tim drake#batman spoilers#batman 138#comics#they look so good on him ok#thigh high socks/leggings/boots/etc are just MWAH *chefs kiss*#in fact i fully support making the boots reach up even a bit higher mister jiménez pls#edited out dialogue to avoid spoilers but also because... lol#dcu#bc this kinda popped off i want to mention. i actually am quite liking gotham war so far.#gonna let zdarsky cook with this!!!
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Us Batfamily fic writers need to get even more creative with the kind of tech the Bats use on patrol. I’m talking like ascending/descending tones in their earpieces to indicate incoming hostiles or attacks. Sensors and biometrics in the armor with read-outs in their lenses. Little metal clips attached to their back molars so they can engage comms or other tech hands free by clicking their teeth together a certain way. Gloves that lock a certain way depending on how the fingers are positioned so they can activate their gauntlets for a fall/slide. Magnetic soles to their boots that engage with a certain click command. Implants they can trigger by holding their breath long enough to indicate they need a rescue. Etc.
#just spitting out some ideas#I know yall have even better ones#but like#the possibilities are endless#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily#Gotham#dc comics#Fic ideas
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