#god of comics
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months ago
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Expertise can't help you here.
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everwalldigan · 3 months ago
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To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.
Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.
Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.
Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.
The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.
The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.
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all6pistols · 1 month ago
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goin for the funniest guy ever award (´ε` )♡
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sabertoothwalrus · 25 days ago
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accidentally drew tallmen au again
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greykolla-art · 8 months ago
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Imagine spending all your energy being cool and mysterious 24/7.
What an idiot have I mentioned I love him?
Idea came from a cool post @nouverx made about Alastor’s possible sleeping habits. 💕
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waveoftheocean · 2 months ago
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wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!
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brainrotcharacters · 3 months ago
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That's that shit eating grin that practically screams "Harder! HARDER!" except the homoerotic subtext is a tripwire they're crash landing through
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bbbbbbbbatman · 2 months ago
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Jason: I’m dating Roy
Bruce: Hmm (derogatory)
Jason: He has a daughter which makes you a grandad
Bruce: Hmm (delighted)
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angstflavoured · 2 months ago
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i dont think bill would be used to someone actually liking him.... especially as much as ford did like it was embarrassing
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bruciemilf · 3 months ago
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Really glad we’re crowning Dick as the scariest batfamily member. Society is healing.
Don’t mind me, just imagining Bruce’s hands, big, soft, covered in the labor of violence, holding his eldest’s face, saying, “This is Dick. He’s the kindest person I know.”
Dick’s fists are behind his back. He’s holding some socialite’s bloody tongue in them. If they’re going to use it to talk shit about his father, they don’t need it. His smile is sunshine and war.
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demaparbat-hp · 6 months ago
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The Perfect Prince
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ratsonfire · 5 months ago
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Someone’s about to get stabbed, idk who yet
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redsray · 6 months ago
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my favourite part of the Wayne Kids being, you know, the Waynes, and popular celebrities is the fact that these are teenagers and young adults who are given ... celebrity powers. and i know they're stupidly petty with them. every time you log onto twitter you'd see 3 of them engaged in a sibling argument, completely uncaring that it's being broadcasted to thousands of people
Dick, tweeting: Tim stole my sandwich today, hey siri how do i un-adopt a sibling?
Tim: ??? I didn't steal your sandwich??
Dick: Then who did??? It was there this morning and you were the only one in the manor the entire morning??
Tim: Dick, my unfortunately kind of favourite brother, I was not in the manor today
Dick: YOU WEREN'T?!?!?
Tim: no, I've been in my apartment all week. did you hallucinate me?? LMFAO
Cass: I was there this morning.
Dick: Oh. No wonder then??? You 2 look too similar, one of you needs to cut your hair
Tim: Not it
Cass: . . .
Tim: on second thought, maybe it's time for a haircut
Cass: :D <3
Tim: Love you too, Cass
Random Twitter User, quote tweeting the last tweet: So did you ever find out who took Dick's sandwich????
Cass: Jay did.
Dick: JAY DID?!?!?
Cass: Oh. Did you not know?
Dick: NO?!????
Cass: Oh. @/jason start running. Sorry.
Steph: Guys Jason might deadass die again Dick is ONTO him
Random Twitter User: ... Again?
Steph: hardly the point rn, jared
Babs: Why did Jason just climb in my window asking me to hide him
Tim: he's running from Dick, lol
Babs: Oh, why?
Tim: he ate his sandwich
Babs: Got it, he's hiding behind my couch now, screeching about Cass betraying him.
Dick: BABS DON'T MOVE. DON'T LET HIM LEAVE.
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chloesimaginationthings · 6 months ago
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Man this scene in FNAF 2 movie is gonna be wild-
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greykolla-art · 9 months ago
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It’s healthy to step out of our comfort zone’s a little!😜
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vavoom-sorted-art · 1 year ago
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what happened on the drive home from tadfield...?
Edit: this happens on wednesday after the paintball arena (and the wall slam), not after the nopocalypse! I am well aware they took the bus! ^^
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