#glad to see them coming together
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Catsune miku
Inspired by @thunderc1an and @sootslash
#I dont know how tumblr works#I meant to make this its own post#either way!#these were my two kinda childhood loves#glad to see them coming together#Warrior cats#Hatsune miku#hatsune miku feathertail#Warriors#Feathertail#shes singing world is mine btw#My art#my warriors art
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FNAF 4 nightmares haunted all the Afton kids..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#evan afton#afton family#fnaf crying child#fredbear#nightmare fredbear#fnaf 4#fnaf fanart#NIGHTMARE FREDBEAR MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥#I noticed I haven’t drawn Michael and CC alone in a comic together#wanted to change that to show off a bit of their dynamic#like any dysfunctional siblings I don’t think Michael was constantly awful to cc#they probably had moments of comfort in one another#Michael begrudgingly lets cc sleep in his bed tonight#seeing his father would get on his case if he doesn’t#but Michael is kinda glad he’s there too#he’s been having nightmares too but never admit that#he’s not just reassuring cc but himself too#nightmares haunt them both#an omen to what’s to come for them both#The Afton siblings make me so sniffle sob
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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#Elmyra approving of Zack makes me so happy 😭 FF7 Rebirth 20 / ?
#final fantasy vii#ffgraphics#elmyra gainsborough#zack fair#gamingedit#ff7 remake#ff7 rebirth#ff7#elmyra#ff7 rebirth spoilers#rebirth spoilers#creaciones#i always thought she'd come to love him if only they had the chance to meet#glad to see it's exactly what happened :')#if zerith reunited she'd be so happy for them 🥺#knowing aerith would have the best boyfriend ever by her side#someone who would always take care of her no matter what#someone who would do the impossible just to make her happy#and he's good with kids too. like 🥰#zack already calls aerith's home HIS home i'm gonna go crazy#sorry for the fangirling but akhssjd if part 3 doesn't have them reunite and live together i'm gonna riot#the three of them deserve happiness!!!#and also i want zack to contact his parents so bad :( they deserve to see their son again#i'm making myself sad. i'm gonna stop now lol
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chat htey fuckin jumpscared me while im trying to do my assignment
#this isnt xmen related but it can be if i try#i think enjoying james mcavoy comes with the territory of being a cherik enjoyer vjaeLKe thems just the strokes i dont make the rules#snap chats#'snap i thought you were sleeping' i was lying but it wasnt in bed i fear fjaELKEJ#no my prof has our assignments due at 8AM so i do them the night before WHATEVER its just reading news articles#and they put this ad at the bottom and i was term searching and i got jumpscared when the page jumped right to it#i saw the movie opening night and it was. the goofiest thing. the movie partially but My Night Mostly#cause at the beginning of the week i told my ma i was going to see it and she- trying to be a mother for the first time- was like#'oh we should watch it together :)' but as the time approaches she's like 'i mean do we HAAVE to watch it horror's traumatizing....'#im so glad i didnt go with my mom i know she woulda soured the whole thing for me she hates me and everything i love#like miss ma'am go AWAY i just went with my brother and the theater was virtually empty so we kept crackin jokes jvlkeakj#I STILL GENUINELY ENJOYED THE MOVIE THOUGH i should watch the og sometime but this was a good watch .... a fun one even...#this movie solidified the fact i love it when james plays- as he says- 'devilish' characters it is ACTUALLY primo to my life#so funny cause my bro and i still crack jokes about and reference it i didnt think he'd care bout it after we left but vjlkjlkja#ok im goig to bed for real now im tired and i wanna get up early to do work BYE
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I love the way you write the relationship between Oscar and land btw, there's something so satisfying in the way Lando so desperately wants him while is Oscar's couldnt be bothered
hehe thank you 🫶 i understand the appeal of landoscar but lando is just... so sopping wet to me. floppy. bendy. while oscar stands tall and strong and actually couldn't be bothered while lando feels every emotion pretty much all the time
they are kinda extremes of each other so lando, as someone who is constantly moving, always changing, restless, all that, would of course latch onto someone like oscar who is just so... calm. steady. not bothered by anything
just too bad that he's also not bothered when lando throws a tantrum... or wants him... or-
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm glad you enjoyed it#landoscar#they will never ever truly be 100% percent happy in my fics#or well... both of them. separately they can be happy at the same time but together one will always feel less.#do you see my vision 😭 i hope that makes sense#anne talks: with visitors#f1
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Your posts are some of the highlights of my tumblr experience – I've always been focused on Luffy/Zoro but before OP:LA released it seemed kinda? Rare, almost? At least in comparison to other things. But now so many people like it too! And are writing wonderful little essays like yours! I feel understood. Personally they've always been a qpr to me (I hold Luffy's basically-canon aroace status VERY close to my heart) in the most soulmate, ride or die, married without even kissing once, forever and always with their own special kind of love no matter what anybody else thinks, kind of way. I love reading your thoughts because even if may not be in the exact same flavour as me (which I respect) I feel like you get them already. Keep having fun! The world of OP has so much in store for you!
don't say such nice things to me i'll cry :(
#asks#zolu#obvi I wasn't in the fandom before opla so I didn't experience what it was like as a zolu shipper but I had noticed a lot of older posts#wishing there was more content / definitely being a smaller ship compared to some of the bigger ones#BUT !!!! opla definitely had some massive zolu moments that I think resonated with people and I definitely saw a spark between them#but the manga and the anime has only solidified that and made me see The Vision (soulmatism) even more#and i'm so glad for you that there's more content now!!! and glad for me!!!!!!#I def see where ur coming from w ace luffy which is 1 of the reasons I made a post a while back about about asexuality & shipping culture#I think their relationship is so transcendent of physicality (not to say its wrong to see them as intimate in that way) but its so based on#their love and respect and utter devotion to each other. to wanting to spend their entire lives together. to sharing their lives 4ever!!!!!#zoro and luffy make me so ill in a way a pairing hasn't in years so i'm so glad to be able to share w u and other zolu stans#its been so fun so far ty sm (seriously) for the encouragement n kind words
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These qsmp reunion insta stories really do be making me feel a specific way
#“specific way”#(pathetic)#(jealous)#glad theyre having fun I'm so happy for them wish that was me tho so amazing to see a group of people coming together as family#qsmp
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Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?
actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.
my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.
#sci speaks#i'm trying to understand the gays. they are a mystery to me.#i've seen a lot more toxic masculinity coming from gay men than i have from straight men.#i think it makes sense. they have less women in their lives. so they reckon with a lot more masculinity. more dick measuring.#also gay men have some of THE most unhealthy romantic relationships i've ever seen in my life.#this isn't a blanket statement on everyone but just from what i've seen. it's such a strange pattern i've observed.#lesbians? healthy. straights? usually healthy. gay men? universally a tire fire that makes me say “if you hate each other so much ??”#“why are you together??????????”#i have never met a cis gay mlm couple in real life that was healthy. every single one of them made my eyes widen in horror.#i want them to be healthy. please treat each other better.#the number of bitchy bitchy fights i've seen between mlm couples in public that make me so terrified#but i know mlm relationships in general are usually less... affectionate than wlw relationships. even and especially friendships.#just an observation.#i hate to say that there is a definite difference between amab vs afab experiences when it comes to relationship dynamics but.#of course there is. there is. as much as i want to say gender and sex do not matter. it really does.#it makes a difference. it does.#which is kind of why i'm glad i was born in the body i was. when people say “trans means you feel you were born in the wrong body”#im like.. i don't think that's true. i don't think that's true for me.#i wouldn't be me if i wasn't born the way i was. and i want to be me. but i'm a boy. i'm a boy but in the body that i have.#my body is still a boy's body. because i live in here.#sorry this went off on a tangent.#but yeah i know my brain would be different if i was amab. and i don't want all those other issues.#i think the only reason i'm so peaceful and serene is because i'm afab. and afabulous.#i see cis guys and im like.. yeah i don't want what you got.#once again! lucky to be me! i'm lucky. im lucky i have a vargooba. thank fuck for that!#couldve been so much worse off. could've been born with a dick and would be fighting for my life right now.
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There are SO many cool interactions and lore things we can look forward to now that Rubius says he'll come back to QSMP (not only as an angel / demon, but potentially as a human too!), but that little detail reminded me of something:
Even though q!Vegetta and q!Rubius were mutually interested in each other wayyyy back in the beginning of the series, as an Angel / Demon, Rubius said he can't have relationships with humans because it's against the rules.
But a bit ago on stream, Rubius said that he's thinking about having a "human" side so he can build and do more things on the server as a regular player. I'm excited because this means he can have more casual interactions with people and we can see him interacting with his friends more (and he can experience The Horrors), but also...
I think we're in for some very interesting drama in the next few weeks.*
* ( Assuming Rubius doesn't get harassed off the server by toxic shippers and weird fans of the Eggs again. Please be nice to Rubius and welcome him back kindly, he's a very cool guy and his character is SO interesting )
#Full disclosure: shipping stuff always comes second (or dead last) to fun random interactions and dumb bits between friends#I'm more excited about Rubius coming back PERIOD#but u know. the potential for some Rubegetta crumbs or full-course meals is a fun little bonus for yours truly#i talk#qsmp talk#Anyways like I said#god forbid I see anyone being freaks about Rubius again because it'll be ON SIGHT#''But FooIi//getta is-'' I Simply Do Not Care#I don't care about fictional ships I want Rubius to interact with his friends on the server without fans being freaks about it#(I'd like to reiterate I have nothing against that ship I'm just very tired of seeing people being weird to Rubius because of it)#(because they think he ''gets in the way'' or whatever)#I will say that's one massive advantage Karmaland had over QSMP#characters could flirt or make out or bang or whatever and fans would just laugh it off because It Wasn't That Deep (usually)#I think a lot of the younger fans (...and many English fans...) need to adopt this mindset#I'm looking forward to seeing how Vegetta handles it though because knowing him... it'll be very interesting...#<-- I say this knowing full well they're just going to be their normal idiot selves and I'm so glad about it#I miss seeing Vegetta and Rubius interacting they're so funny together and they have a beautiful friendship#I do have my head in my hands listening to them talk sometimes though LMAO
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Teller of Small Fortunes
lighthearted fantasy adventure
follows an immigrant fortune teller who travels between villages telling small fortunes for people
when she runs into a (mostly reformed) thief and an an ex-mercenary searching for his lost daughter, she ends up traveling with them in the hopes she can help, along with a baker they meet along the way,
they encounter various magical creatures and adventurous situations, and eventually she has to face her past
no romance
#The Teller of Small Fortunes#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this was okay#to be honest I didn’t get very attached to any of the characters - I found most of them a bit one dimensional.#(I kept forgetting the cat even existed - why keep mentioning the magical cat in the promo if it’s barely there!!!)#And not feeling much for the characters meant I struggled to feel much about everything else about the story honestly#The exploration of being diaspora in a foreign country & experiences of racism & her relationship with her mother was probably the most#interesting to me.#I always give cozy fantasy a chance but honestly I need it to be deeply introspective or maybe like really funny#it’s just a bit too light for me? (other than the racism and xenophobia - I’m glad to see more of that in this space)#It’s just I think not deeply enough for me - and combined with not feeling attached to the characters I just wasn’t feeling it#Also one of the reasons I picked this up was because I was seeing people say it has an asexual MC and let me just say-#it has a very vaguely AROace CODED mc#If you’re looking for it there’s a few lines of implications but it’s not super clear and also any mention is romance related - aro! not ac#There were SO many instances that would have been an opportunity to bring up aro/aceness and the choice to not do that#felt sightly strange to me?. however tdlr readers could be promoting this on it having no romance and focusing on#friendship/family instead of saying it has an ace MC which is….only there if you squint#no romance#***other than side characters being married and also:#There’s a minor subplot where a side character has a crush on another SC which is unrequited#and there’s a bit of a confrontation after which he backs off. but then it’s implied they might get together in the end :(#which was unnecessary! come on!#I always find fantasy characters inventing real life foods slightly odd but at least this one is more from the author’s culture#anyway. it's okay! just didn't really end up being for me
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.
#mine#personal#brief storytime in the tags#one of my family friends got married and i was happy she was happy#her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me#i was happy to share that moment with them#we cried and laughed together#and my friends#their other daughters were on the line and looked gorgeous#it was just beautiful watching us all grow up in a way and move on to “the next” together#BUT#im a pastor's kid#and my dad loves weddings#he drinks them in whenever he can now especially because they make him happy and he's had to attend a lot more funerals this year#he's been burdened a lot by how many people he's had to bury and how many hospital visits he's had to do#so i was happy to see him happy too#it just all felt so bittersweet to me#because i know how badly my parents want this for me and for themselves#there was a daddy-daughters dance at some point and i could feel my dad beaming beside me watching that#and i was a little sad about it because i was like im never gonna give you that#this could be the best thing i could ever give you and i will never give you this#i can never kneel at an altar in front of a pastor and swallow that sermon#i would never marry a man in my generation#if i married a woman you and almost the entire tent filled with people that watched me grow up would not attend#my happiest day would be another funeral for you#it was worse because im kind of a small celebrity in this community because of my parents and their siblings who are politicians#so people i barely knew kept coming up and asking me when it would be my turn and how they so looked forward to the day#and i was like i love that we're a community here and i missed the pestering of aunts since i left church#but at the same time i was glad to remember why i left#there is no freedom to be myself at all with them because all they do is project their beliefs and ideas on me because that's what children
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yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what
#so i dropped out of school at like 13/14 to be home fulltime to take care of my grandparents yeah yeah whtever#whats insane is remembering that when i was 15 my mom tried to arrange a marriage for me with some guy who was in his early 20s#he was the deacons EXTREMELY autistic son and we had spoken like. 3 times. it had been fine like he was pretty cool#but like. she talked me into tentatively agreeing with her. she went to talk to the deacon and everything about it#fucking hello? hello? taps the mic isaiah southern baptist child bride real?#that always pulls the same thread in my brain of how my grandparents died only a month or so apart#so the pastor had just finished doing my grandmas memorial service when we asked him to do the funeral service to bury them both together#and the first thing out of his fucking mouth was 'hah wow didnt expect to see all of you again so soon!'#and that pavilion was SILENT. besides like someone sniffling#awkward fuckhead piece of shit that guy sucked#yk he once threw away what he had written all his notes to preach on bc a gay couple had just moved to the area and wanted to try our churc#so he spent the whole time ranting about how gay people go to hell instead and they left in the middle of it crying#hell on earth.#my mom convinced him to start a school thru the church and i dont think ANY of their teachers went to college besides literally 1#bc she had just retired from the local middle school and had the free time to participate#but then i guess it all just comes back around#my brother graduated from there and became a ta when he was 18 and started dating a 14/15yo so#genuinely so glad i got the fuck outta there#what a nightmare that town was. christ
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heyyy 🫶🏼🫶🏼
can we have some more spicy ten things I hate abt you AU?? I really loved the last one!!! And can we also have Thena being vulnerable to Gil? I love your writing so so sooooo much 🫶🏼🫶🏼
—- Eternalfanatic (I forgot my account password lmao) 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
"Hey."
Thena furrowed her brows, determined to keep on kissing him as their hips moved together. She tangled her tongue with his, trying to dissuade him from interrupting things.
"Thena?"
She huffed, pulling away and bracing herself on his shoulders to glare at him. "You keep saying how much you enjoy our intimacy, yet you insist on interrupting it!"
Gil wore a sheepish expression, despite literally being buried inside of her. His fingers tapped on her bare back. "I do!"
"Then why," she growled, leaning forward and forcing him completely under her again. Not that she enjoyed the thought of his eyes having a full on feast of her naked body. But she enjoyed being on top--it gave her the control she so desperately needed, especially at times like this. She dug her nails into his shoulder, "are you?"
He sighed, glancing away as if they were having a light, normal conversation, and not in the middle of having sex. "Well...is something on your mind?"
"Now?!" she barked at him. Neither were close to the point of no return, obviously, but she wasn't exactly ready to call things off and have a little heart to heart, either. "You're asking this now!"
"Sorry," he whined faintly, holding her hips still as she tried to resume their pleasure. He gave her a distinctly concerned look. "I'm happy you came over and all. But I dunno--you seem kind of...angry."
She was.
"If you wanna angry fuck, then fine," Gil amended, holding her hips more firmly. "But I'm not some exercise bike you can use to blow off steam and then ignore."
Her brows raised. It was the first time he had expressed his qualms about their relationship so clearly. He had a right to, of course, and she knew he was right, too. She was using all the benefits of their closeness without offering any return on his emotional investment.
Gil made room for her as she lifted herself off of his completely erect hardness and flopped onto the bed beside him. "Y'know how they say 'don't go to bed angry'? Well, I'm pretty sure they would say don't have spite-sex, either."
She shook her head, staring up at his ceiling with her arms wrapped around herself futilely. "Sorry."
He shook his head as well, also staring up instead of at her. It did make things feel a little easier. "I'm sorry--I should have asked before we got into things."
In all fairness to Gil, she had positively pounced on him as soon as they were in his room. He wouldn't have had much time to voice his concerns before she was undoing his belt and asking if that box of condoms still had anything in it.
"So?" he prompted, slipping his hands under the covers and over the tent in his sheets. "What pissed you off?"
At the moment, he was at the very top of that list. But that also wasn't fair, and she knew what he was asking and how he meant it.
They had met at the party, as promised. And things had been fine. Sersi had found Dane immediately and Thena had happily left the young lovebirds to flirt and giggle through the evening. She and Gil were talking, relaxing a little out of the thick of the crowd. It had been fine.
"Ikaris," she began. Part of her almost wished the solitary statement would have been enough, but she knew it wasn't. She tugged his sheets up more firmly around her. "When I went to find the recycling."
Which there wasn't one, much to her frustration.
Gil nodded, both of them still flat on their backs. "What did he say?"
Thena gulped. Looking up at the white painted ceiling of Gil's room was easier. The spots hastily plastering over something exposed, the edge where ceiling met the brick walls. "He asked me what we were."
"Oh."
She sighed through her nose. She hadn't had much intention of telling him this. Truly, the desire to tell anyone at all any of this was completely absent. But she owed Gil this much. "I told him to fuck off and mind his own business."
Gil snorted.
But the story wasn't nearly so simple. "But he guessed we were together in at least some capacity. He asked...he asked if I was finally ready to get off my high horse and just fuck--in his own words."
Gil sat up partially, his face drawing in and suddenly radiating a righteous indignity on her behalf.
She reached over, pressing on his chest and making him resume looking up at the ceiling with her. It was the only way she was going to get through this.
"His pursuit of me...he did earnestly try to date me. At least, I thought it had been earnest," she dragged out of herself. It was her least favourite thing to remember of all her life, it wasn't coming out easy. "He had wanted to advance rather quickly. I told him I hadn't done anything with anyone and I doubted I was ready for it with him."
Gil waited through her heavy pause.
She sighed, "he laughed, and laughed, and laughed."
"I'll kill him."
She shrugged, "even that would be more attention than he deserves to be paid. I sent him away and he's thought derisively of me ever since. That's why my contempt for him runs deeper than simply him being a prick, and him thinking he has some right to my sister."
"Wow," Gil scoffed, his voice dripping with disdain, "I thought he was a creep but I didn't know he was a disgusting bastard."
Thena inhaled slowly, running her hands over the sheets. "Sersi doesn't even know. I've only told her that she is not to even so much as speak to him."
Gil had the wisdom not to offer his opinion on things, as least just yet. But he reached over under the sheets until he could grasp her hand.
She let him. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
She shook her head again, her hair a hopeless mess on Gil's pillow (and he only had one, so of course he saved it for her). "It's not fair to you."
He sat up, apparently - unfortunately - done with the anonymity of avoiding eye contact. He leaned on his knees, "I guess not."
She had been the one to state it, but his quick and firm agreement still made her stomach clench. "I-"
"But it's not fair to you either."
"Hm?" she blinked up at him. She expected some lecture but he leaned down again, stretching his body out against hers and scooping her waist into the grasp of his strong arm. She sighed as he kissed her.
"I hope I don't have to tell you I'm not like that asshole."
No, he didn't.
He pulled away, looking at her so tenderly that she wondered how she could ever muster the effort to be cold with him. "But I shouldn't have to tell you. You should just...feel it, or something."
He had his own eloquence, and she found it unwittingly charming.
"Thena," Gil frowned, holding her against him, both of them on their sides. "Were you ready--when you first came over, I mean? 'Cause if you weren't, I can't-"
She leaned in, kissing him again to divert the trajectory of that thought. "I came over, I initiated the kiss, I told you I was ready. Is that not enough?"
But he didn't rise to her bait. He stared at her like he would never see her again if he blinked. "I...I...I really like you, Thena."
It certainly wasn't what he had initially started saying, but it still made her freeze like a deer in headlights. Excitement and dread flooded through her in equal amounts.
"I'm not asking you to feel the same," he whispered, and she had to admire that he was strong enough to say that, while she was too afraid to even tell him she liked him in the first place. "But I'd rather you know. And it has nothing to do with, uh, this. I liked you before. I liked you as soon as I saw you glaring at me at the theatre beside Sersi."
She rolled her eyes, because there was no way that was true.
"So, even if you don't wanna hang out anymore, or come over like this," Gil trailed off into a mumble, his eyes drifting downward. "Then, that's okay. But I'll still like you--unless you tell me not to, I guess."
She smiled--even laughed. There was just something so earnest and sweet and charming about this delinquent. She kissed him again, just for the enjoyment of it. It was actually rather dangerous, how much she liked kissing him.
Gil laid his head down again. She really needed to get him another pillow (such a boy thing, to have only one). "Sorry, but I guess I'm glad I interrupted."
She supposed it was out of concern for her. Although there was still a faint ache within her, and the insides of her thighs were quite sticky. "Was angry sex so bad?"
He grinned, satisfied that she seemed in better spirits. He ran his hands over her back again, "not that it's bad. But I prefer making love."
Thena let him lure her into making out again. It was a great excuse not to look at him as he expounded such romantic nonsense. "I've never met a boy who called it that."
"Well, I'd call myself a young man, at best," he protested with a faint pout (before kissing her again). "And I think it's only fitting, if I'm gonna worship you like the princess you are."
She didn't have a clever comeback for that, gasping as he latched onto her neck. "Do you still have that condom on?"
"Yeah, but let me do something."
She half expected him to pick up the firm and nearly frenzied pace she'd had before. To roll them over and start absolutely ravaging her. But all he did was move her onto her back and lie himself over her. He stayed close, his head always hovering within kissing distance.
"This okay?" he whispered as he pushed into her again, much more slowly and gently this time. "If I wanna get romantic with the girl I like?"
It was so juvenile, so trivial sounding. And yet when he said it, her heart and her brain screamed in joy. She never felt so elated, despite her fighting against this very thing.
"Gil," she gasped, her hands on his chest as he thrusted slowly but steadily. They had actually never been in this specific position before. It felt intimate, even fore the act of physical relations. Her legs splayed out on either side of him, but her foot was pressed to his calf muscle, as if scared he would slither away from her. Her hands were on his warm skin, she could feel his rapid heartbeat.
"Thena," he moaned as he picked up speed.
Looking into his eyes was too much. She didn't know where he ended and she began. She was being too vocal and the longer she looked into his eyes the more red spread through her cheeks and down her neck. She clung to him. "Fuck, Gil."
"Thena," he groaned again, panting and grunting and meeting her lips in hasty, open kisses.
"Gil, please," she whimpered, her voice thin and high like the last note on a violin. She didn't want to, but she slung to him desperately. "Please, please come with me."
"I'm there, I'm so there," he confirmed. Neither of them had the stamina of seasoned experts, but she felt so much more acutely than usual every movement and breath he took.
Making unfathomable sounds while rutting her naked body together with a boy she liked: she was no princess. She was just Thena, and she was unfortunately quite in love with the boy in bed with her.
And the boy was quite a fine man, she purred as she felt him come first, within the condom, his muscles twitching as he held himself over her. He stayed close but made an effort not to put his full weight on her.
She accepted it eagerly, lifting her hips as she came around him. Her thighs gripped either sides of him, soft flesh to soft flesh. She had no control over her body, or her voice, although he helped absorb some of the sounds of her ecstasy directly against his waiting lips.
They laid like that, both catching their breath. Gil moved first, but her legs tightened around him, unwilling to part with him just yet, even in his softened state.
"You feel good?" he asked aloud (needlessly). He kissed her cheek.
"Hm," she purred, still languishing in the feeling of his skin against hers. She ran her hands over the sheen on his skin and the hair there, fine as it was. "Don't make me move yet."
"Okay," he chuckled, kissing her forehead and only moving enough to lie himself down not quite on top of her. "Whatever her ladyship wants."
It was a teasing nickname, but she didn't even have it in her to scold him for it.
"Does this mean you'll stay?" he whispered, the light touch of his fingertips on her cheek tempting her deeper into sleep.
"Hm, I shouldn't," she sighed, curling against him on her side, even as her energy left her. That was all she got out on the matter. It was simply too tempting to remain all snuggled up with him. He certainly had no complaints, even as she felt him moving around to clean up or some such.
If he wanted to be her boyfriend, then he could be her boyfriend. And that meant letting her sleep as long as she wanted.
#Thenamesh 10 Things AU#I'm so glad to see you!!!!#we've all forgotten a password or two before#Thenamesh 18+#these two!!!#poor Gil he's so head over heels for this girl#and Thena is like I am not going to get emotionally involved#Thena said I'm in my friends with benefits era#also Thena: thinks about him constantly day and night#This is somewhat from the movie but I also did want to further explore Thena's hate for Ikaris#this feels like something he'd do#so when she finally gets together with Gil she's like careful#now that he has what he's after if you get involved it's all downhill from here#meanwhile Gil: what if I ask her to marry me at graduation?#Karun upstairs has the tv on and is cooking in the kitchen#he's just glad Gil has come out of his shell a little#he still wants to meet Thena#but the poor thing doesn't want to meet Gil's basically dad after a hasty fuck session in his basement#thank you so much for the ask truly#please send more for as long as you want to read them!
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