#give me the trauma
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hello-idk-what · 3 months ago
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I really wish that marvel went more into depth with Steve and Clint.
I mean correct me if I’m wrong but outside the comics we don’t really know anything about their pasts. This is odd because Hawkeye had his own show and appeared in 4 movies and Cap had his own trilogy and was in all four avengers movies. You think we would have learned more about their past, right.
With Clint i feel like he’s not really his own character. I feel like he seems to be used as purely a device for Natasha and Wanda’s characters. His show was basically just used to introduce Kate and set her up as the next Hawkeye. AOU is the only movie where we see him as an actual character and even that felt half done and stale.
With Steve he seems to have two different personalities the goodie two shoes who hates swearing, blindly follows orders is a stickler for the rules and one where he’s breaking the laws left, right and centre. Like I haven’t watched CATFA in a while but isn’t the first scene him trying to enlist into the army illegally. In that movie along with CATWS, CACW and infinity war he seems to be shown as someone who does what is right even if it means breaking the rules and doesn’t follow orders blindly. But in avengers 1, AOU and endgame he seems to just do what he’s told with no questions asked.
This seems to have led to people in the fandom portraying him as his goodie two shoes side even though he’s only portrayed like that in 3/7 of the movies he’s in.
Another complaint I have with him is how they didn’t show anything about him adjusting to the 21st century. Yes they showed him not understanding modern things but that has often been played off for comedic purposes. He doesn’t seem to have had any help adjusting to all that has changed.
It isn’t only the technology and pop culture that has changed either. His image seems to have been cemented in gold. He has become a symbol of the country and what it wants to present of itself (does that make sense). He has been held to such an impossibly high standard, expected to be no less than perfect. If you know anything about history it’s that they tend to erase things they don’t like, aspects of people they find undesirable. How much have they erased of him. A lot if the psa’s are anything to go off of. Him adjusting to this would be really interesting to see.
Would he feel overwhelmed and pressured due to this standard they hold him to? Would he feel pressured to hide the parts of him that they left out of the history books? Would he feel so alone due to never really being able to be himself? How would this affect his choices? Would he fail to meet these expectations? Would anyone notice?
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starlightshore · 3 months ago
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you keep telling yourself that, buddy.
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clouvu · 8 months ago
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yknow what. *undooms your yuri again*
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phosilli · 9 months ago
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eye of the vulture king
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ratfest · 10 months ago
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months ago
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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johannesviii · 8 months ago
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Attempting to deal with some of my feelings regarding Infinity Train Book 3. And probably failing
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erinwantstowrite · 1 month ago
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got to thinking about this au again and it got me in my feels. jason you will never outrun these idiots
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cheesenchalk · 30 days ago
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i never know how to phrase it but something about the way beatles biographers and people in general view paul's reflexive placating persona and determination to smooth things over as manipulative or duplicitous and john's reflexive barbed persona and habit of lashing out as brave and subversive despite both being equally defensive mechanisms to shield themselves from the world that resulted in them saying things that weren't true says more about how we culturally view kindness or friendliness as inherently untrustworthy or flimsy and anger and carelessness as more believable as someone's true nature than it says about either of them in actuality
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kkoct-ik · 11 months ago
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can you watch them while i go eat
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damianito · 1 month ago
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has haine ever had to babysit the skk triplets?
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Less babysit more like team up to make absolute chaos (affectionate)
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steddiehyperfixation · 4 months ago
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hc that steve actually likes metal and listens to it regularly, just always pretty quietly. so when eddie, who never has his stereo turned down to anything below 40 and even that's too quiet sometimes, gets in steve's car one day to hear metallica playing through the speakers with the volume only set to like 7, he's immediately torn between being ecstatic that steve is listening to one of his favorite bands and outrage that he's not giving it the proper listening experience it deserves
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fandominstability · 9 months ago
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I am ALWAYS here for more of Bobby’s past, let’s GO
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Yay
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ye-olde-trojan-horse · 2 years ago
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remus was james’s gay awakening (he’s the casanova of gryffindor tower, so duh)
sirius was james’s gay ‘confirmation’ (they kissed once, and james knew he wasn’t straight)
then james said hmmmm I want a combination of both, and ended up with regulus.
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cherry-pop-elf · 2 months ago
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Night terrors
Anya x Reader
Can be read as platonic because we all want to take care of her like we wish someone would for us
AN: As a victim of sexual assault I feel it is important to have a realistic fluff story about the aftermath of it. How it affects the person after it’s been done and how the trauma lingers. How it’s so very important for the person to have a support network. YOU will be her support network. Thank you
Also not to get political but god women in the USA are experiencing a massive increase of assaults so call this projection, or call this training for the inevitable
SUM: Despite surviving that Tulpar adventure, despite all the good karma thrown back at you all, there are just too many many scars to truly recover from
Warnings: Past sexual assault, nightmares, PTSD, whump, abortion, paranoia, it’s gonna be a stressful read, there will be fluff don’t worry, paranoia, inspired/based on my own experiences
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“STOP-!”
Anya was screaming in her sleep again.
Woke you up pretty quickly, as you were sharing a bed with her. She was rather scared to sleep alone. Afraid that someone will just break in and take advantage of her. That somehow Jimmy, who long since was dead, will break in again.
“Anya-! Anya wake up! It’s me! Anya-!” You would shake her and try to get her to wake up. To get her out of that terrifying cloud of memories. Her poor face was pale and full of sweat, and she was scared awake by you shaking her. For a fleeting moment she thought it was Jimmy.
As she gave another cry, you reached over and turned on the bedside tables lamp.
She saw your face, and finally took a breathe.
You two weren’t on the Tulpar anymore. Jimmy wasn’t going to hurt either of you ever again. Swansea was home with his wife. Daisuke was home with his mother and father. And she was here with you.
She was alive.
“I….Im sorry-“ Anya sniffled, as you just pulled her into your arms. Gentle with combing your fingers through her hair. Just gentle reminders to not be sorry. To not be sorry for being justified with her fear.
“He won’t ever get you again. I promise.” You would remind her, but she would still tremble.
“Can we check the locks again?” She would ask you, and you would nod. Often times this was the case. No matter how many times she would ask you that question you never got annoyed. It’s good to check the locks anyway. Gotta stay safe after all.
You would both climb out of bed, put on your robes, and go walking around the home. One of your hands was left to be held by Anya’s, as the other would be used to check the locks on everything. From the multiple at front door, from each window, to that of the back door. Each one checked, as Anya would hug at you close.
Was a very nice home, you had to admit. After having rescue finally called, and being saved, the media went nuts. Especially on the fact Curly was still alive. Gave Anya the much needed support to show she was very worthy of a position as a proper doctor. That also meant she got herself quite the hefty salary. Also helps that she now had partial royalties to the book she helped write about the adventure on the ship.
“Every lock is secure.” You explained, as she gave still an anxious look.
“Let’s check each room, and closet. Yeah?” That made her quickly nod.
Now you two were roaming the entire house now. Checking under furniture, in closets, all the nine yards. No stone was left un-turned. You would do it a million times for her. She deserved to have some kind of relief from it all.
“There we go. No Jimmy.” You would give her a hug, and she hugged you back. Still shaken, but at least she was breathing more steady.
The two of you would return to the bedroom, where she did her routine. Checking under her pillow for her sheathed knife, the bedside for her baseball bat, the drawer for her gun, and to take an extra pill to help with the anxiety burst she was having. Her routine.
She would try and lay down, only to dart her head towards the bedroom door. Eyes wide with raw and pure fear.
“I swear I heard him at the door. I swear I did. He said my name he said my name-“ She whimpered, as you would get up. You opened the door, looked around the hallway, and returned.
“Don’t worry Anya. I didn’t hear a single thing.” You reassured, as you would lock the bedroom door for her. Along with putting a chair under the door handle. Even went as far as to double check the bedroom windows, and closed the curtains.
“I’m so sorry-“ She would begin again, as her eyes watered. She felt like such a burden. To have all this fear and paranoia. To the point she couldn’t feel safe when left alone. You couldn’t blame her though. The wounds were still so horribly fresh. Not to mention sometimes PTSD can kick in so many years later. You’ll take the morbid comfort in having it kick in now where you all can handle it now and prepare for the future than suddenly out of nowhere in God knows how long.
It is what it is.
She wasn’t the only one traumatized after all, and she shouldn’t need to apologize for justified fear.
You would pull her back into your arms, and you both laid down. You would turn on the white noise machine for her, to help block the paranoid sounds of voices and scratches from the doors, and would just talk with her. Talk until her medication kicked in to help her sleep.
Didn’t matter what it was. It was just noise to keep her mind distracted.
You wondered how the rest of the crew was doing. How they were dealing with it.
They all had family, so maybe they were doing well. Really should meet up again soon. Can’t be blamed life is so busy.
Curly was back living with his parents and siblings, which they welcomed with open arms. Even his friends before the crew were willing to all share a space to help.
Swansea had his wife and even his kids. Sure he says he’s too old to be traumatized but he keeps checking on his kids way more often now. That’s for sure.
God knows when poor Daisuke’s PTSD will kick in. He may be acting fine now but it’s gonna be a ticking time bomb. It’ll come at him sooner or later. For now his parents were feeling like monsters for pressuring him into that intern ship. He never blamed them, of course. He is even still working under a mentorship with Swansea even. Guess not everything was negative.
Then there was you and Anya. She was the most traumatized of all. There was even the trauma of an abortion. There’s still so many emotions with that as well, but you held her hand through it. Even as far as to move in with her to help. You two had always been very close. Even before joining the crew. You two were always tagged together. Even nicked named her assistant to a point.
You’ll stick with her through the ends of the earth.
“Wanna go visit Curly in the morning? It’ll be Saturday. Maybe we can even invite Swansea and Daisuke.” You offered. Just something positive to look forward to. Something worth waiting for.
“That would be nice.” She muttered, as her own paranoias exhaustion was kicking in. Too tired to even be afraid. Often times how it ends. She gets herself so worked up it ends up being the very same thing that makes her fall back asleep.
“Yeah. We can check out his new prosthetics. Daisuke said he even bought stickers specifically for them.” That had Anya smile. That sweet smile that was hard to come by right now. One that was filled with comfort. Comfort of such an innocent and sweet thought.
“Swansea says he’s also going to attach his own upgrades to it. Not sure how that will work, or what the hell he’s planning, but not gonna lie I need to see if he gives him rocket boosters.”
That got a little laugh from her. The both of you imagining poor Captain Curly flying around in the sky, as Daisuke runs around with some trampoline to try and catch him on.
Just something silly to cut through it all.
Seemed to work, as you could feel her breathing easier now. Her breath not so intense. Was far more steady, and you could tell she fell back asleep. You were thankful for it. Not because she was annoying you. No. Never. But because she needed her rest. She deserves it. She already is working long hours at the hospital, which you bet is because she is trying to avoid being isolated and alone at all cost maybe even reduce sleeping to, so she needed proper sleep more than ever.
And you’ll do your best for her. To help her with it all. You were her little assistant. You’ll do what an assistant does best. Make sure your boss is able to tackle projects easier.
And this project was healing. A project that won’t ever end, will have ups and downs, and be taxing. Over time out the ass and no vacations.
And you know what you say to that?
Bring it.
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Thank you so much for reading. This was a more vulnerable piece because Anya really reminded me so much of myself. How I’m suppose to take care of everyone else, while my traumatic abuse is just swept under the rug.
Since you read all the way to the end, maybe take a look at this
National Sexual Assault Hotline:
1-800-656-4673
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-7233
RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network)
1-800-656-4673
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
You deserve love and support. What happened wasn’t your fault in the slightest. Not even for a single second. You deserve happiness, hope, and to live a long and healthy life. Everything will be ok again. Doesn’t seem like it now, but it will. I promise
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shepscapades · 1 year ago
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[Part 1] [Part 2] [PART 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Don’t Let it Reach the Heart]
Finally! Part 3 is here!! yippee!!! As a refresher, this takes place at the beginning of season 9, when Doc and Xisuma try to boot Etho back up after he shuts down pre-Season 8 Finale, set to the vibes of Joywave’s Destruction from DBHC Etho’s playlist! Ouguguh I’ve been looking forward to posting this part so much; it has some of my favorite shots so far… something about the grey-fade of Doc going into shock, something about the last two pages with xisuma and doc’s expressions… idk!! i really loved working on these :] Hope you’re enjoying the horrific, horrific ride!! =w=
As a partially insignificant but Special-To-Me note: Xisuma has always referred to dbhc doc as “Docm”— this is actually the first time X ever calls him “Doc.”
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