#girls who eat their body weight daily and can't stop

[i99zhuo]

A routine inspired by thewizardliz ? She has skin care hair care routine reads motivating books

How to live like thewizardliz 🧚🏼‍♀️🪄⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ quit your lazy girl era!

This is a guide on daily routines inspired by Thewizardliz! This routine is perfect to stop being lazy and pathetic and finally start taking care of yourself!

content list (routines):

morning

study

workout

shower + self care

night

(_ _ ) . . z Z⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚୨ :★: ୧ ∗  ˖࣪ ໒꒱  ˚₊·

✸ ꒰ morning routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧼 First things first, after you wake up make sure to drink water to boost your metabolism throughout the day! Also, create a mind movie so you can watch it everyday after you wake up.

Now, take your journal and start writing about your dream, ideal higher self, ask yourself questions like ‘What reality do i want to create?´ 'Who do i look up to?’ ‘What is the behavior I need to change about myself?’ ‘What's a new habit that I would like to create?’ ‘What is a thing I can focus on right now?’. After we have in mind who we want to become, it's important that every little decision you make today is centered to achieve your goals, and become your dream self. You can listen to a podcast while doing this so you get motivation!

💶 Then, head to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror and start repeating positive affirmations, such as ‘I am so beautiful’ or ‘My hair looks so pretty today’, even if you don't believe it, having a positive mindset is going to help us to stay in track with our goals!

Take care of your teeth, Liz says that our smile is one of the most important things in a person, and one of the key things that is going to make you more attractive! so, make sure to brush your teeth, floss, clean your tongue, etc.

🛣 Liz has a rather simple skincare routine, since her skin is so sensitive, it only consists of using a foam cleanser, moisturizer and eye cream to help with her eye bags.

Next step is to research and find our own personal clothing and makeup style, find out your body type, personal color, face shape, etc. It doesn't matter if you have to mix multiple styles that already exist to make your own! The most important thing is to feel comfortable while wearing those clothes or having that type of makeup on your face.

🏔 Liz doesn't like to force herself to have breakfast, she just dont eat if she's not hungry, however if you are hungry rather than focusing on calories focus on how nutritious your meal is. Whatsoever if you are not hungry and you are not going to eat, make sure to always take your vitamins and supplements!

✸ ꒰ study routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Yes, it's time to drink a little more water!

⛰ Liz doesn't have a settled study routine but, it's important to spend our time wisely, if you can finish an assignment way before the time it's due, DO IT! Also, she emphasized that knowledge leads to confidence. If you put effort in your studies, every little thing in your life will slowly fall into place.

✸ ꒰ workout routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

First, set healthy goals, like toning up your body or building muscle, try not to make ‘just being skinny’ your goal.

🧩 second, don't measure yourself with a scale or measuring tape and focus on how you look in the mirror, are you satisfied? if you are then you are done with the intense workout routine!

Liz goes to the gym and has her own personal training program, but here’s some kind of exercises she recommends; weight training, pilates and dancing with her main focus being toning up her abs and butt.

🏄‍♀️ Remember to drink water and that consistency is more important than perfection, go at your own pace, it doesn't matter if you can't do a 2 hour workout and look snatched in 3 days and you can only do a 5 minute workout, every little effort adds up!

✸ ꒰ shower and self care routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

Before showering, do dry brushing to exfoliate your skin and increase circulation (1-2 times per week). Then use shampoo and conditioner, research to find the best one for you, what may help others won't help you. Liz also uses a hair mask 1 to 2 times per week to get that shiny silk hair.

🎾 After showering take some time to shape and pluck your eyebrows depending on your face shape and what impression you want to give! 

Liz uses face masks 1 to 2 times per week to cleansing her face deeply, then she does her skincare. After applying all the products do a lymphatic massage on your face and neck, you can also cool down your face with massagers or cold spoons for an extra depuff.

🍾 For self care, you can journal again, search for shadow work prompts, think of what things you should unlearn and relearn and don't forget to practice gratitude. Or you can take time to clean your room or house, you deserve to have a clean safe place! 

Oh! and don't forget to drink water again.

✸ ꒰ night routine ꒱⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆

🧃 Time for dinner! (only if you are not full yet), again, make sure to focus on nutrients rather than calories. Don't forget to drink a glass of water with your dinner. You can watch a documentary while eating to keep gaining even more knowledge.

Now, do your oral hygiene routine again. Also, put on eyelash conditioner and serum to wake up with perfect lashes! Then wear a silk cap or do a protective hairstyle to protect your hair from getting damaged while you're sleeping.

🍵 Then get in bed and drink a cup of tea with collagen to start relaxing your body. and it's finally time to manifest! watch your mind movie again and use your most useful method (affirming visualizing, subliminals, etc.), don't forget to ask god, the universe or whatever you believe in for signals and help!

Afterwards, you can read an inspirational book like ‘atomic habits’ or ‘the art of thinking clearly’ to keep nourishing your brain. keep a reachable goal like reading 5 pages everyday and then decide if you want to continue reading or not.

🥬 Before sleeping listen to a guided meditation, liz have one to be more confident and one to attract money, choose one that aligns with your goals!

Finally fall asleep in a healthy sleeping position, Liz sleeps in her back looking at the roof, but you can choose your favorite position, don't forget to get a pillow that fits the position (example: tall and lofty pillow -> for sleeping on your side)

🍈 Good night!

Woah second request done!! hope you liked this one was pretty fun to do and I might add some of these things in my own personal routine so I don't fall back into laziness, anyways how about you guys??

toodlezzzz!1!!!!!

[wannabe-skinni-qween]

TW! 111 harsh wl quotes (pt 2)

you can always be thinner, look better

how do you want to feel this summer, fit or jealous?

it gets easier when you get consistent

on good days, workout. on bad days, workout harder

the moment you want to quit is the moment you need to keep pushing

once you control your mind, you can conquer your body

you can either eat well or look well, your choice

pain is weakness leaving the body

starving is the perfect example of will power

hunger won't betray you like eating will

don't eat. if you want to see food, look at your thighs

ballerina or beanbag?

sugar is the enemy

calories can't make you happy

the distance is nothing, it is only the first step that is difficult, make that step.

pleasure to the lips adds pounds to the hips

i do this for me

ana is not an illness, she's the cure

if you can eat past fullness, you can starve past hunger

you're too good to put that in your body

don't listen to your inner fatty, she's an evil bitch

"boys don't like skin and bones" but modeling agencies do

you have two choices, do it now, or regret it later?

do it so steps don't sound like stomps

if you really wanted it, you would have it by now

stay strong, think thin

pretty girls don't eat

coffee, diet coke and cigarettes are what skinny girls are made of

feet together, thighs apart the collar bones are where we start count the ribs and feel the hips that’s what makes us skinny, bitch

the greasy fry it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh

bones define who we really are - let them show

food isn't running away from you, you don't need to eat it all at once

don't ever stop trying because one day, you will be thin

there's a skinny girl in you just waiting to come out

quod me nutrit, me destruit (what nourishes me, destroys me)

you can't control life, but you can control what you eat

this is your daily reminder that weight is fixable

tomorrow you'll wish you'd started today, today you wish you'd have started yesterday, only you can break the cycle

don't settle for a body that you don't even like

you don't get the abs you want by laying on them

stop feeling bad for yourself, it's your fault you look like that

you only get one life, don't waste it feeling insecure over something you could easily fix

while you're wasting your time, others are succeeding

you're not a pig right? so stop eating like one

don't let your love for food be the reason you lose love for yourself

keep eating like that and you'll need a whole new wardrobe at this rate

is your plan to gain weight? sure looks like it

all of that binging is really starting to show

you can't afford to give up

get up, nobody is coming to save you

there are so many things in the world that cannot be done through my will alone. other things require money, luck and connections. dieting requires only your will

nothing in this world goes the way you want, you can't conrol anything but you can control what you eat

without struggle, there is no progress

longer hair, thinner body

you will only get what you work for, nothing more, nothing less

being proud to look at the scale

the best form of revenge is a good body

to stop worrying if he can hold you up

what do you mean you gave up on the first day? are you sure you want to keep looking like that?

so your bf/gfs friend will be jealous of them

binge a tv show instead of your kitchen

until you get disgusted enough with your own laziness, nothing will change

stop blaming everything else and start blaming yourself

"i'll start tomorrow" can last for years

if you're not hungry enough to eat an apple, you're not hungry enough to eat those sweets

"i regret working out" – nobody ever

every accomplishment starts with a decision

if it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you

think of your workout as important meeting that you've scheduled with yourself. bosses bever cancel

you didn't gain all of that weight in one day, so you won't lose it all in one day. be patient

your body can do anything, it's your brain you have to convince

on the other side of your workout is the body that you want

if you don't take time to get thin now, you're gonna have to deal with being fat later

You don’t need a fancy gym, nikes, or new sweatpants to exercise. you just need yourself and some motivation

crave exercise like you would crave junk food

you must tell yourself, no matter how hard it is or how hard it gets, you are going to make it

consistency > perfection

start where you are. use what you have. do what you can

and i am pure now...

i have a rule when i weight myself: if i gain, i starve for the rest of the day. if i lose, i do the same thing

nothing matters when i'm thin

you will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you will enjoy your self hugely in the twenty minutes or so that you will be consuming the excess calories, or whether you will dislike yourself cordially for two or three days, for your lack of willpower

food is a hinderance to your progress

every supposed pleasure in sin will furnish more than it's equivalent of pain

don't do anything today that you'll regret tomorrow

like a plant, surely, the body can be trained to exist on nothing ~ to take it's nourishment from the air

to be thin, no price is too high

lose everything and what is real will still remain

you can learn to love anything, i think, if you need to badly enough. i trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry

starving is more fulfilling than eating will ever be

food is temptation. once you overcome food, you can overcome anything

i don't care if it hurts. i want to have control. i want a perfect body. i want a perfect soup

when you start to feel weak and dizzy, you're almost there

i'm not there yet, but i'm closer than i was yesterday

we are what we repeatedly do, excellence is not an act, but a habit

you can always go further than you think you can

everything i want is buried under a layer of fat

re-measure, re-weigh, try harder

success is determined by how determined you are to succeed

time spent wasting is not wasted time

someday is not a day of the week

nobody ever got ahead by sitting on their ass

inside everybody is a thin person waiting to get out, but she is too sedated by a slice of chocolate cake

you could die at any time and once you are dead, you will be that weight FOREVER. do you want to look fat when everyone comes by to see you in the coffin?

starvation is fulfilling. i will do whatever it takes. colors become brighter, sounds sharper, odors so much more savory and penetrating that inhalation fills every fiber and pore of the body. the greatest food is actually found when a morsel never passes the lips

"jeez you're heavy" or "woah you're so light"

i am your butter and your bread, i am the voice inside your head

the stomach is ungrateful. it always forgets that we gave it something

sweat is just your fat crying

food is mean and sneaky. it tricks you into eating it and it works on you from the inside out, making you fat, bloated, ugly and unhappy

every calorie you eat equals another step toward your destruction

i can't believe i found all of these... should i attemt pt 3??

[alexrose000]

Diet. Workouts. Lifestyle

We are now entering a period wherein we adopt the culture of South Korean artists, especially their food, exercises, clothes, dramas, and music.

Have you ever wondered why K-pop idols and actors are so skinny?

K-idols and actors balance and are strict with their lifestyles, including their workouts and food intakes.

Who wouldn't like to be as skinny as them? Let's start to be fit before the year ends.

First, be determined to workout once or twice a week at your convenience for thirty minutes to one hour. There are a lot of workout exercises on YouTube right now; you just have to do them and make a choice on which exercise is best for you. For me, cardio workouts standing I usually do once a week. First year of pandemic, usually I do workouts every day. Yeah, I was satisfied. In two weeks, I did achieve abs and became skinnier. Some of us hit the gym to become fit, which is also good.

But let's see how K-pop idols and actors do their workouts. As they said, before you make your debut in a group, you must undergo a series of training sessions in proper exercise, diet, singing, dancing, etc. Let's focus on their workout.

4th Generation Le Sserafim workout routine: 100 jumping jacks, 4x25 burpees, 2x10 jump squats (holding ears), 1 song plank crawl, 2x10 plank up and down, 2x10 plank twist, and 75 crunches

Girls Generation leg workout routine: 15 thigh hovers, 20 squats, 10 side planks, 20 inner thigh lifts, 15 hip kicks, 15 high knees, 10 lunges, and 19 hip raises

Blackpink Jennie Kim does pilates exercise for one to two hours for five days in a week. This helps to be flexible, strengthen, and tone the body.

BTS’s Jungkook Workout Routine: Knowing Jk, he does boxing exercises in his Weverse Live, but he also does 20 squats, 20 pushups, 20 jump squats, 20 pike pushups, 10 planks, 20 mountain climbers, 15 burpees, 20 crunches, 20 leg raises, and 20 Superman’s exercises to achieve his amazing toned body.

Exercise has advantages; it helps our brains improve, helps us manage our weight, strengthens our bones and muscles, improves our daily activities, and has a low disease risk (don't abuse it too much because it may also have a great risk in our body).

Second is food. Who doesn't like food? Do you know kpop idols and actors are forbidden from eating condiments, sweets, fried chicken, tteokbokki, pastry, ice cream, noodles, hamburgers, and jokbal before they debut as artists because they need to have a slim or skinny figure? They undergo really strict diets.

In the Philippines, there are a lot of fast food chains and restaurants opening from time to time.

Salt is usually what we put in our food, but have you heard that if we intake too much salt, there is a bad risk to the body? Salt intake in excess can be associated with disease, weight gain, and much more, but for us Filipinos, we can't remove it from our foods. We are fond of eating noodles, junk foods, fast foods, and restaurants. I read a lot of articles about how some salty foods can cause swelling. Sweets can gain us weight, and articles show they tend to give us acne or pimples. As per my experience, I am very observant about it. Back when I was in high school, I loved eating sweets like chocolates, candies, and much more, which gave me acne on my face and on my back. In time, I stopped eating chocolate, any sweets, and milk too. It slowly disappears, but then again, consult a physician for more information. Meat is really delicious, but the fatty part is no good if eaten too much, especially if you are really on a diet. The breadings, sauces, and ingredients we put on them are sometimes bad for our health. chicken, preferably the breast part for those on a diet.

Let's see how K-pop artists eat.

For IU, apple, sweet potato, and protein shake for a day

Suzy Bae ate one chicken breast and a banana for breakfast and drank a glass of milk. For lunch, she ate brown rice and a small vegetable salad. She finished the day with two sweet potatoes.

Blackpink Jennie's low-sodium (salt) diet, detox juices, and salad with avocado

That’s why they could lose weight in a short period of time. Remember to drink water.

I'm not saying it is bad, but in moderation, did you know that home-cooked food is still the best for me because we can control it on our own? Eating vegetables and fruits can also help us in our diet, but it really depends on a person's lifestyle and diet. There are a lot of apps now that you could try to help us plan our meals and exercises. We just need the determination within ourselves.

Wait for Part 2! for a more extensive how-to diet

[an-alamort-poet]

Warning this story is about eating disorders and time spent in the psych ward.

When I was sixteen I was admitted to a psych ward. And there was this girl there that I've never been able to stop thinking about. Everything I say about her is what I've seen; from what people told me about her, she never spoke.

While I was there, there were four people there that I knew were there for having an eating disorder and she was one of the four. she walked around with an IV pole that I watched her nearly trip over now and again.

There were only two single-person rooms, she and another girl with an eating disorder had them.

In the ward, the beds you sleep on are so thin you might as well have slept on the floor. But hers was the only room on our unit with a normal hospital bed. She had a woman whose job was to follow her around while she walked from her room through the hallways and a few times into the lounge. it seemed like she had no idea where she was.

I'd tell her good morning and goodnight almost daily, but it never felt like she saw me. She always seemed like she looked right through me. But one day while we were in the lounge she went to sit next to me. She usually just sits in a chair away from anyone else for maybe ten seconds before standing back up and wandering off, I watched her almost miss the chair when she went to sit down, the woman whose job was to follow her had to push her a little to make sure she sat in the chair instead of falling off the side of it. We sat there silently for about two minutes next to each other. It was the longest I ever saw her sit in a chair. The woman smiled at me and told me that she liked me. She then got back up and continued her usual walk around the hallways.

I saw a puddle of pee in her room one time and heard a nurse talk about helping her get into a pull-up. I mentioned it to a friend of mine who had been there longer than I had telling her how I felt bad that she lives like that. My friend then told me that she purposely pees herself to get the pull-ups, she had no idea why. But I imagine it's because it must be easier to have someone help you change yourself a few times a day, then come with you to help and watch you every time you're in a bathroom. But I'll never really know why she prefers the pull-ups. 

But the main thing that keeps me thinking of her is what I saw once during visiting hours. The way that it was set up was sometime around 6 pm. I can't remember the exact time, it has been a few years. visitors would come for an hour, and then after that, it was room time. During room time one day I was sitting in my doorway watching whatever the nurses were doing when I saw who I assumed was her dad was still there. I thought it was weird that he got to stay after everyone had left. I sat at my door wondering why they were in the hallway instead of the lounge when I realized it was because she was doing what she always did, just wandering up and down the hallway. I watched as she looked at her dad and he waved at her while she just looked at him for a moment, only a second. Then she went back to her wandering. I walked into my room and just sat on my bed. I thought about how her dad must feel to be watching his daughter just fade away like that.

When I would hear people talk about why you should fight your eating disorder it was always something about how you should be happy with how you are, self-love. They talk about how starving yourself could cause you to gain more weight. How vomiting can destroy your teeth and how your hair thins and falls out. But I don't think that does the disorder justice for the debilitating disease it is. The idea of being skinny enough is what takes over your mind ignoring how you feel and the hunger. Your body starts to panic and does anything to keep itself alive. But eventually, your body can only spare so many resources, and parts of you start to shut down. Then suddenly theirs nothing of you left.

She did this thing with her hands where she would put her thumb in her palm and then squeeze her hands into a fist. It was the only thing she did that reminded me that she was once a person, and not always this wondering body that may never get better. And may not make it all.

[gyubby99]

@disneyanddisneyships it's been 84 years..

ill-fated reality

~~~~~

{Two years later..}

[Marianne]

My eyes flutter open, being met by the sight of the curtain barely even covering the bright rays of the sun. I let out a sigh, before pushing myself to get up. No matter how much my body protested on it, I had to get up. Only three years for me to be crowned, and I still can't be able to excel at this daily excercise of getting up instantly. Just in time before some maids came into the door.

"..I figured it is time I get up." I say bluntly before walking over to the ladies in waiting, who have come prepared to assists me for the day.

If it were any other place, I would just have to ring a bell for them to arrive. But with my mother still queen I cannot break her rules. Atleast not yet. There should be a certain time where they would come in and help me get ready for the day. They come in with the attire and jewelry, preferably picked by my mother. She has quite the fixation of overdoing things.

I get out of my bed, before greeting my maids before they went and helped me to get dressed.

"Is this alright, your highness?" One of them asks as they were tightening my corset. I let out a small grunt before nodding to her. "I feel quite.. fine."

She nods, before two more maids assisted on dolling me up with a dress, and jewelry. I've gotten used to the familiar faces around the castle, and so this was nothing new to me. I smile at my reflection in the mirror, neutral about every situation there ever was in my life. I turn to my maids, nodding before some guards opened the door for me, and I nod off to them.

They follow me off to the dining room. Sure, I have a few people trailing behind me at all times, to care for me. But I tell them off for a while if I do wish for some privacy. I look around the castle halls as we headed towards the dining hall for breakfast.

I stop in my tracks, calling for my personal.. male guard. "Noah.." I say, turning my head behind me to see he was standing exactly where I was. "Has mother been pestering you lately? I believe she's been planning something she won't speak to me about.."

Noah had been there all my life, and had been the one to assist me on the incident. He had been there since I could even know how to walk. I figured after quite a loss of one of my subjects I should be more protective of him.

Lately, my mother had been all over him. I don't know for certain what the deal was, but I do hope he would atleast give me something. Usually, she would pester anyone when it comes to her plans for the kingdom, but for her to approach someone close to me as Noah..

"I believe that's a coversation for another time, my lady." He responds almost instantly.

I paused for a while, speculating.. but if it was certainly for another time.. how long do I have to wait?

Still I nod to him. "Understood." I respond before entering the dining hall, a whole buffet of nice food selections all for me and my mother alone. Such a large.. family table if you ask me..

"Ah! Marianne!" Mother calls out to me, the sugar and sweetness of her tone covering her sour intentions. She walked over to me, her hands making its way to my cheeks.

"Come! Have a full on meal, my girl!" She urged, and I sat at the end of the table, as she stands on the other end.

I smile at her, feeling something new and surprising rising in me. "Did I miss an occation?"

She shook her head. "I figured we should start working on that weight of yours.." she glanced at me up and down. "So, I think you should atleast eat one full meal a day.. and you shall drink water for the rest!"

I furrowed my brows. "..what for? I believe I weigh quite fine.."

She laughs.. and in all that I felt like I was looking up at an empty dark tower. "We can't risk you getting.. well, fat! You're eighteen.. in three years or so.. if you master it, you might attract a noble suitor. Not to mention, you must be thin enough for him to be encouraged to produce an heir! Attraction is a very.. vital aspect. Especially in terms of--"

I cut her off, not wanting to hear the end of the sentence. "Mother, I know.." I sigh, grabbing a fork. "Abstinence.. is it not?"

She nods in acknowledgement. "Prescisely! But, we have got to make sure you eat healthy sum of food! We've prepared a whole course for you! Perfect for preparing you for what's to come in years!"

Now this confused me. "I don't quite follow.."

"It must be quite right for you to produce a healthy baby in the future! And.. as many ones for your king." She responds. "Now, take as much as you need for the rest of the day. Don't forget to ask Noah for assistance."

I look down for a second. If it was best for my mother.. and what she perceives to be good, then I can tolerate it for a while. As queen I can break as many rules as I want, start a new age. But for now, I guess I need to please my mother enough not to cast me out.

"Understood." I nod.

"Oh, my little princess.." she walked over to me, before planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'm absolutely delighted.. you're not like your father."

I smile, taking in a deep breath. "Ofcourse, Mother.."

She smiled, before she left me all alone to practice my abstinence.. ofcourse I am familiar with it. We're quite religious. But for four years instead of a month.. or a week..

Four years.

Just four years. Temporary.

I shake my head, and started picking on as many food as I could, though I could see Noah from the corner of my eye looking down. A guilt no one could blame him for. He was a measely puppet on mother's strings.. all of us were.

He was one of the few people dear to me. For someone who seemed so careless about certain things he cared for me. Someone who took after the role of a little girl's father, or that's what I saw him to be. Seeing him feel as though he's unable to make it up to me was enough to make my fake grin fall.

I look at him, a sympathetic look. "Noah." I call out, and he snapped his head up to me. "Would you please be kind to bring me a book?" I requested.

"..ofcourse. What would you like to read about?" He asks.

I ponder about it for a moment, and he let me take my time deciding. I look at him, my eyes coming off as pleading rather than making a simple reauest.

"The stars.." I respond. "The one from back then on the first top shelf.."

He nods, before heading off with a few maids. He came shortly after, just in time before I took my third bite. He gives me a book, and a stand for it so I could read while I have a full meal. I nod to him. "Thank you kindly.."

And so I dove into my food, before turning onto the very first page. I taste something in my mouth, which made me stop in my tracks. I grab a table napkin nearby, spitting it out.

Olives.

I dislike them.

I frown, before going back to my buisness. I pick out as many as I could, taking my time on this new particular practice.

Four years..

~~~~~

[Damian]

"Ladies!" I call out, the maids and servants answering almost as soon as I did. It had been one of those sparring trainings with someone else this time, as Jake had been accompanying my father somewhere down the forest. No clue as to why he couldn't ask me instead. Jake, is.. well.. a difficult person, and heaven forbid he would start running back to his home after a short while.

I came out quite sweaty in my shirtless figure, and quite exhausted if I may say so. I put my sword down, stretching my body as I catch a few breaths.

"Your highness!" One calls out to me, a towel in hand. "You must have been working so hard for you to get all soaked like this!"

I smile in a sheepish manner. "Yes, I believe soaked can be a correct term for that." I say. "You don't have to dry me up. I'll do it myself."

She sighs. "It is my job to be at your beck and call, but.. if that's what you wish." She hands me the towel, in which I wiped my own sweat in. All sweaty and muscled was one way anyone can describe my situation. I'll take a quick break before requesting a bath.

"Oh, there we go.." I say after I'm done. "Thank you, Anne."

"Should we leave it at that for a moment or do you want to dress up as soon as possible?" Anne asks, three maids trailing behind her, to ready my casual royal attire if ever I make up my mind.

"Oh, no. Not so fast. I would be overheating in it. Maybe give it a few." I say to Anne, before she nodded to me.

"Would you need anything more?" Anne asks, before a maid came up in front of me, placing a glass of water on the small table of my very own 'practice room' as I'd like to call it.

"Oh, thank you kindly." I say before I drank from the glass, emptying it in a matter of seconds. My sparring partner made his way out of the room calling the practice quits. I nod in acknowledgement, telling him off. I turn to Anne. "Though.. I might need a shirt on."

And just one of them came to get me what I needed. Few steps ahead a new servant who came to me. I give a nod to them, taking the item just before they could get the chance to dress me up. I was a prince, no- I am a prince. But something about the thought that I get people to respect me solely for that fact does not quite sit right with me. I treat my subjects as equal to the eye. It's not a complaint, I enjoy company around the place, they were the only souls I know of.

Though I did want to have a big family.

I let out a breath I'd been subconsiously holding for a while, and I dismiss them with a kind, knowing grin. Anne, although one of the people intended to leave and go on about their buisness, stayed.

"What would you like to do now? Your father's out hunting." She asks.

"I could go for a good read at the moment. Just prepare me the paperwork after I'm done." I respond, before pouring another drink of water on my glass. "After all, he can only call for me if he needed assistance."

She smiled, warm and knowing. Anne was always a remarkable individual. A woman with a nature of wonders.. to have someone like her serve me and live under my father and I's empty castle had been an honor. She was not someone to take very lightly, and carelessly thrown away, that I'd known. For the sole fact that her gentleness and the way she served with full honor I have immense respect.

I nod to her in acknowledgement, taking a drink from my glass once more before fleeing the room, making my way to my chambers. I can say I am quite the free-spirited soul. A part of who I was remained still despite what happened all those years ago. On my benefit, I can roam freely through these empty halls without some people trailing close behind. Sometimes I do, but only if it was for important matters.

Father could let me do whatever I want, only as long as I don't stray from his specific rules. He prefers the company of hunting and paperwork, drowning himself in endless duties. That was the reason for his seemingly careless behavior towards his own son, which sometimes can go too far out of hand, but all is forgiven. He is my father.

I entered my chambers, silence permeating the atmosphere. I was met by the sight of my table, a few books and papers scattered with the ink and quill at the side. In one of the few books, I grabbed the story about a forest beast, innocently establishing a relationship with a human his kind would have grilled on the fire if they saw one.

Not to mention the humans in the story were most likely to do the same. Why else would my father be at a forest in this time?

I chuckled at the thought, and grabbed a few things, including my butterfly hairpin, something I never even wore yet I always bring along with me. I bit my lower lip as I put it in my pocket, before looking at all of the paperwork needed to be done in assistance of my father. I sighed, before fleeing the room and heading towards a nearby river outside of town, telling my subjects I would be home before father knows I'm gone.

I hear the water running, freely as they did so. The wind breeze welcomed me as though they knew my soul, and my body relaxed at the sight, and thr feeling this place gives me. This had been a sacred place for only me, and being here meant everything was going to be perfect.

I looked around scanning the place I knew all too well.

I spotted the usual old rock from near the trees, and so I sat down, and put the book to the ground. I made sure it had been dry, since I don't want to soak it. As I sat down there, I heard a scream from not so far from me.

[Marianne]

"Noah, I will be alright.." I say, reassuring him. He looked at me as I had gone insane. I never went to any place without his supervision, as my mother had said.

"I will just watch the fishes. Nothing more." I stated.

"Your mother would have my head if I came back to the castle without you." Noah responded. Lately I had been going on about going to places on my own without anyone following me. Probably because I'd never been like what I was, I was growing out of the usual thing I grew up with. One year until I am nineteen, my life will change forever.

"Then don't head back to the castle." I stated, before I made a reach for his sword belt. "Here. Give that to me."

Noah's brows furrowed. "Pardon?"

"Give that and your sword to me." I say once again. "I will not repeat it a third time. All those years I've spent training with you in secrecy only for it not to be of use?"

"Danger is not something to be taken lightly. I went easy on you with the training because not only were you the princess but a child." Noah scolded, taking a defensive hold of the belt. "A child I've sworn on my life to protect."

I give him a nod. "And you are protecting me by your secret teachings of combat.. and how to handle myself out there. If you could just let me take it for a while.. I'll take my chances to prove myself to you."

He shook his head. "You don't have to prove yourself to me, kid. You have a strength of your own and that is something that I am proud to have even witnessed."

"If you are so proud of me, then place your trust in my hands." I say once more, reaching for his belt. "If you can look at me with pride, then you can let me go with faith."

He seemed to think about it for a moment, before he sighed, defeat in his tone. He took his belt off, one that held his sword from his hips, and wrapped it around me, before locking it when he made sure it was safely put on a dress like mine.

"Thank you." I say to Noah with a smile of gratitude.

He smiled, before giving my head a pat. "Go ahead, kid. I'll be waiting here." He says, then put his hand down. I grin, my lips almost reaching my ears as I nod my head to him and walked off.

Now there was not a day where Noah wouldn't be too protective for someone who wasn't even his own child. But this was one of the few only moments where he showed a hint of his trust in faith.. and it was not on my mother. It was on me.

I know what I'm capable of, and he knew that as well.

I head to the usual place I'd been hanging along; The river from out of town.

I stand at the scenery before me, not some enchanted magical place like the ones I describe on paper. It was nature. The way some would picture a river in their head, it was a cold, relaxing atmosphere.. streams of water running freely as my eyes danced between the trees that had covered the whole place.

Nature had been truly beautiful, and I hope the people in their kindness would keep this as it is, that way greater things can be given to them as well.

I held my dress, kneeling down to the water as my knees hit the fresh ground. For the first time I hadn't been scared to be alone. Just me and my thoughts in a river.

This very river was a core memory. It was where I wrote a book for myself, about something that never had to change for it to be beautiful. In their own way, shape and form. Things were beautiful. Just as it is.

I yelped, shuddering as i felt something tickling my nape, then i felt something land on my shoulder. It was an extremely light weight, but I felt it touch me. I look over to my shoulder where the thing landed.

I tilted my head.

It was a butterfly.

Monarch.

It had been fluttering its wings slowly on my side, aa though it had found some flower to feed off on.

But I wasn't..?

Still it was not getting off of me. It stayed there. On my shoulder.

Do I smell like flowers?

Is this a compliment?

Suddenly, it was going to fly over my face. I shrieked in surprise, ultimately falling off of the water. I felt the cold wetness hit my back as my bottom met the solid rock down there. My dress was getting soaked. My dress that was heavy as it is. I doubt insects have a way of thinking and I bet on my life they never will, but it had no idea how many layers of clothing I wear on a daily basis. Soaked gown meant even more weight.

I curse the thing as it flew away, helpless on the water as I scream out to no one. This was not the danger Noah warned me of. I had secret stalking, or plotted abduction in mind, but all I get was a butterfly getting me into the water.

That damned butterfly.

Just then I heard footsteps from miles away.

Noah?

"My lady! Might you need some.." the man trailed off, stopping in his tracks as he saw my face. His gentle face contorted into a cold, seething expression as he stopped mid sentence.

Brown hair. Green eyes.

A dark green suit mixed with a shade of grey.

My eye twitched, my brows knitted together as I clench my jaw.

[Damian]

Those familiar dirty blonde hair haunted my senses like wolves in the night. Those eyes just struck a special nerve I never knew I had, and with one look she triggered it.

It didn't matter if it was a look of helplessnes turned rage. It never mattered. It was never right to take joy in a lady's distress, but this time I could make an exception.

"It's been a long time coming, princess Marianne." I greeted, throwing spite in every inch of my tone hoping she got the message of my fervid loathing.

"I figured, Damian." She responds with that same spit I knew all too well, not even bothering to address me as a prince. "Nearly two years, is it not? My old nuisance?"

"Nearly." I replied, not moving an inch. "Although I do wished I could have had more years without your presence."

"As would I, but reality can be often ill-fated." She stated, her dress slowly being soaked whole in water. I cross my arms, trying not to wish a snake suddenly appears and injected a deadly venom in her veins.

"I would agree."

She sat there in silence, before grunting as she tried getting out of her predicament, but to no avail and her pastry-like gown being soaked in water by the minute she stayed stuck in the same place.

"Say, is the ever-so elegant, fierce and independent young princess in distress and need of some assistance?" I mused out loud, and to my mirth, she looked away refusing to say a word.

"Have you taken advantage of me?" Marianne- the princess asked in doubt.

"I shall not confirm nor deny, your highness." I bowed to her, making it clear that I quite enjoy the feeling of being on the ground standing from her.

What I didn't notice, is how her foot still had the advantage to trip mine and how quickly I let my guard down. It is wrong to underestimate a person's capabilty, and since my smug loathing got the best of me, to the water I went with her.

The water.

I fell on my face in it.

Idiocy, my old friend.

I quickly got my head out of the river, looking at her glare like she'd been insane.

And she had been.

"You- You've got the nerve!" I say in complete disbelief, not of her, but of myself.

"I dare!" She responds. "You will get me out of here."

"Pardon?"

"I said.. you will get me out of here."

I tilt my head, amused. "And why should I do that?"

"Because I am a lady in distress. You refuse to help me? I shall strip you off your power once I am queen!" She responds, irritated.

"You're not the queen right now. Just a lady in distress." I grinned, getting out of the water, trying to dry my clothes.

"Which is why you are going to get me out of here!"

"What's in it for me? Your mother's head?" I joked.

"Or your father's."

I laugh, and shake my head. "If I could have a canvas with me, your situation would have had a portrait hanging around the walls of an art gallery."

"And your execution would have been the talk of history!" She spat back.

"I agree I would make a radiant historical hero." I shrug my shoulders. If reveling in her misery gets me to my end then I pray heaven lets me in.

"How can you be a historical hero if you can't even help a princess?"

"Heroes defeat villains, your highness. It is a common knowledge everyone knows." I respond, fixing my wet hair that I know for certain Jake would have a field day with.

"I am a villain for not letting in the uninvited to a party! I think I've heard this in the books- the uninvited always brings a curse!" She says matter-of-factly.

I feigned pain in my chest. "Oh, you wound me! How could you reveal things such as my very own master plan?"

"You are.. unbelievable." She says, her fury tempting her.

"Thank you!" I stated.

And there it was..

My face falling into the water again. The culprit being none other than Princess Marianne.

[casspurrjoybell-20]

Simply Elliott - Chapter 1

*Warning - Adult Content*

Elliott Wheeler

There was something missing.

Have you ever felt a constant uneasiness in your gut?

An ache in your heart?

And you can't think of a single reason why?

So you self-diagnose yourself and call it anxiety.

Now you're taking pills daily to help with your 'illness' and 'still' that uneasiness doesn't go away?

That was me for as long as I can remember.

I thought the unsettling feeling was something that could be fixed through meds, and yeah maybe the anxiety pills helped some but that wasn't it.

So, to compensate for not knowing what the fuck was wrong with me, I indulged in the one true comfort in life, food.

I ate junk food and a second and a third helping until my thirteen year old body was a grand total of 220 pounds 'that's 99.79 kilograms to those over the pond folk'.

I didn't think anything of my longing gaze at every boy in my class, dismissing my prolonged jealousy for thinking 'I'm a girl, that's why I'm admiring all these male bodies.'

And I was only watching gay porn because males turn me on, might as well watch two, right?

It wasn't just that I was infatuated with the male species, I was living vicariously through them.

I started dressing more on the 'masculine' side 'though gender roles are a social construct, wear whatever the hell you want to wear, kids'.

I studied their mannerism 'the good ones'.

And I felt a little better, more myself but not quite.

Then puberty hit and my chest grew bigger and I wanted to die but the best thing happened my first year of high school.

I met a junior called Annie.

She was beautiful and perfect and she paid attention to me.

Which not many kids did because most people are shallow and God forbid I be overweight but not Annie, she was the least shallow person I knew and we were inseparable.

Annie was transgender.

She knew she was meant to be a girl since forever and her dad was fully supportive.

By fifteen, she started the transition, taking hormones, got boobs, etcetera.

She showed me other transgender social media influencers and taught me a lot about the process.

Told me it was the best decision of her life because before, there was always something missing and that's when I knew I was meant to be a boy.

It all made sense.

I hated looking in the mirror, I've never felt right in my own skin.

I wanted to curb stomp everyone who told me I wasn't being 'ladylike' or gave me a judgmental look when I cut my hair short.

My longing looks at the boys in my class wasn't because I had a crush or because I found them attractive, it was because I was jealous of their bodies and their pronouns that fit them.

Knowing I was meant to be a boy and while building up the courage to tell me parents, I started working on myself.

I thought if I even go through with the transformation, I was going to be the best and healthiest version of myself.

I stopped eating recklessly and exercised more and by the summer before my sophomore year, I dropped my weight and that was when I told my parents about my new realization.

Well, more like blurted it out while having a mental breakdown.

"Ellie?"

We were sitting around the dinner table, eating baked macaroni and cheese, when my mother broke off her own conversation with my dad as she realized I hadn't spoken all night.

I was a bit depressed at that time 'body dysphoria can do that to you'.

"Ellie, why aren't you eating?"

I shrugged, still only poking at my pasta.

I've grown to hate my name.

"What's up, kiddo?" my dad asked and I felt that uneasiness expanding and it was all too much.

Too many thoughts of hating myself and wishing I was someone else.

So I broke, I began sobbing.

"I'm sorry."

I didn't know why I apologized but I felt like I had to.

My parents gave birth to a girl.

A girl they loved and called Ellie but that wasn't me.

How do I tell my parents that the child they love and watched grow is someone I absolutely hated?

"Oh sweetheart, what's going on?" my mother asked while my father asked.

"Why are you apologizing?" both in the same concerned tone.

Fuck, I hated disappointing my parents.

That's what would happen, right?

They'd be disappointed that I needed to change in order for me to like myself.

I shook me head because I couldn't tell them.

"Ellie, talk to us," my mom begged and I choked out a harder sob when hearing that name.

I scooted my chair back, I needed room to breath.

"I hate that name," I cried, my shaggy brown hair falling into my eyes as my hands covered my face.

I couldn't look at them as I spoke.

"Oh. Okay, well..." my mom sounded confused and when she didn't finish her sentence, I risked a glance at them.

They were looking at each other, uncertain and worried.

Then as if they both came to a mutual agreement in their head, my dad turned to me and said...

"What would you rather be called?"

I have thought about a new name for a couple mouths prior and decided it was best to go with something similar, so it would be an easy adjustment for people.

"Elliott," I said through tears and sniffles.

Ellie and Elliott might be almost the same but those name's had completely different meanings to me.

"Elliott," my mom started as if to memorize it.

I nodded.

I wasn't sobbing anymore, only silent tears.

My dad began...

"If that will make you feel better then..."

"I hate being a girl," and I sobbed again, messy and loud.

"I... I don't feel like myself. My body isn't me, I'm supposed to be a boy, I'm sorry."

"Oh, sweetheart," my mom rushed to my side and hugged me.

That was how I told my parents.

I've never been more grateful that I was given the best parents in the world because I know not everyone is as fortunate as me when it comes to support.

Not only did they support me and didn't call it a 'phase' they paid for my chest surgery and hormones.

Surgery and the new meds started towards the end of my sophomore year.

By junior year, everyone was calling me Elliott.

Now as a senior, my parents are saving up for my 'bottom surgery' which they said will be my graduation gift.

Unfortunately, what comes along with waiting is an immense amount of body dysmorphia.

It also didn't help when a certain boy entered my life and loved my body just the way it was while I absolutely hated it.

Talk about confusing.

Who was this boy you may ask?

Carter Matthews.

And I wished I had never met him.

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

Dear diary,

I think I may up my reps next week and see how that effects potential weight loss. Also if you are curious according to various articles cleanses don't actually help you lose body fat just water weight which is why a vast majority of medical professionals won't recommend it for long term use as an approved method for weight loss.

Now the following is only my opinion not an expert. I think if you are dieting or eating healthy and working out adding cleanses to routine is beneficial. Will you lose a significant amount of weight? Probably not although what you lose will vary as weight loss varies by individual and situations etc.

It can make you *feel* lighter or like you weigh less afterwards and you do lose some weight, not a lot but when you want to weigh less every little bit helps.

Of course it should be noted during the process you may feel like your dying from the inside but you aren't it's just part of the process. Also no you wouldn't build up an immunity to the pain that may accompany it or at least not in my experience.

Keep in mind maintaining that weight will be more difficult as your body naturally likes to keep water weight but I think it may be possible to stay that weight or at least get to it with adjustments to diet, workout and cleanse routine. Although personally don't have the exact equation figured out yet I don't see a problem with doing cleanses as long as you aren't stupid about it.

Can you do it daily? Of course but you probably want to wait a day or two before doing another cleanse.

I was reading about a girl who just naturally had a super high metabolism so she only weighed 80 and could literally eat whatever she wanted and not gain weight. Of course she was happy and I knew I should be happy for her but honestly I was just jealous. I'd live to be 80 but at this point I'd settle for 87 or 84.

If cosmetic surgery wasn't so expensive I'd probably try to get a boob job. I. realized while looking through clothing magazines with models that the reason the model looked good in a style I liked was yes partly her weight and proportions but also her boob size. I know no matter how much I work at getting down to less weight and trying to reduce waistline that one thing I can't change no matter how much effort of dieting and exercise is my boob size.

I think that realization made me feel a little down cause realizing a style you like just doesn't suit your body type is a little upsetting and disappointing especially since know can't do anything to physically change that.

It's things like this that really do just make me not want to go out and interact with other people. I mean you may think am being vain or whatever, but reality is most prejudge people on thier appearance it's why that saying of how first impressions matter.

Of course personality is more important and we all as humans recognize this but that doesn't stop people from judging and liking someone for their appearance as a main thing.

Why go out when I know I am just not attractive and why try to get clothing styles I like but may not work for my body? Life feels so complicated sometimes.

[minerviewrites]

Arcane with a plus size s/o :]

Sfw fluff with gn reader :)

Warnings: portion sizes mentioned, food, handsy characters but not in a sexual way, insecurities, riots mentioned briefly

❀ —————————————— ❀

Jayce- He's pretty handsy! It's not in a weird way and he stops immediately if you dislike it, but he just loves to squish your stomach when stressed. It's become a comfort thing for Jayce; he comes to your dorm after a long day of working in the lab and just squeezes you tightly. He's had a lot of people doubt him in his life, so the fact that your there for him at all, no matter your looks, he's grateful for. Jayce loves to leave you kisses all over your tummy before he goes to the lab too :)

Viktor- Not one to judge on physical appearance, especially due to his disability. He adores you, it doesn't matter to him if you're chubby; in fact, he likes go have more to hold when he embraces you. Viktor often gets insecure himself about his leg, so if you have insecurities as well, he tries to encourage you which in turn encourages him. Don't let him catch you feelin bad about your appearance because this man will kiss you so hard- actually, maybe let him...

Vi- Grabby hands constantly. She can't resist the temptation to just warm her hands between your thighs or to cuddle up with you and squish your tummy. Vi hates it if you talk bad about yourself or your weight; she'll pinch your cheeks and express all her love for you while you sit there and listen. Expect her to cuddle up to you no matter the weather; it's hot? Doesn't care. Cold? Even better since you're probably warmer than her. Also will pick you up bridal style all the time and run with you in her arms

Caitlyn- The PERFECT girlfriend. Cait had made almost daily visits to the bakery to get herself treats before; now that she has you, she can finally fully enjoy because she has someone to share them with. Also she's a very good cook! Makes food from all over Runeterra for you since it helps her cooking skills as well. Her dorm has a huge fireplace with a lavish couch in front of it, which she'll often pull you onto after she gets off of her officer work. Expect her to smooch your cheeks and then promptly fall asleep on your tummy

Sevika- Oh my gosh this girl worships the ground you walk on. She isn't a very affectionate person, but she'll constantly have a hand on your side or on your hip if you let her. It's more of a protective measure, at least that's what she says... when you catch her slipping her hand around your waist, she just says "Zaun is dangerous. Better to be close". Sevika stocks up on all of your comfort foods once she's observed what you eat for long enough; she knows that she doesn't have to, but seeing your face scrunch up and shine with happiness makes her so, so happy

Jinx- She doesn't mind it at all! Jinx is pretty indifferent about it just because she didn't grow up judging appearances, especially after growing up around Silco. She does give you access to her sweets stash though, which is reserved for "Only the best of the best people". Sometimes when she feels really restless, she'll sneak into Piltover and steal you some gourmet pizza (her choice of comfort food) and whatever else you want. Other than that, she loves to randomly chomp on your stomach and usually falls asleep like that too

Silco- Loves that you contrast his skinny frame. He often pulls you to his chest from behind and just appreciates how soft your body feels compared to his. Silco has had a rough life so having someone who's soft and brings a sense of normalcy makes him feel loved. He'll often send his workers to Piltover to scavenge for supplies and cause a ruckus, but he will ask a few trusted employees to grab you some nice, fluffy clothes while they riot. He only let's you wear the nicest things, of course

Vander- Adores you without a doubt. He melts when you're near him, even if he's supposed to be in his "tough dad mode". Vander has a bit of chub on himself, so you know this man loves to eat, AND he makes the best food for you and the kids. He never judges you for your portion sizes, no matter how big or small they might be; he understands comfort eating as it was something he struggled with after picking up Violet and Powder. Sometimes he'll just pop up out of nowhere and just...face plant into your stomach, groaning about how Powder pulled out a chunk of his hair. He'll kiss you stomach during this times and holds your hand while ranting

Ekko- He actually doesn't think about your chubbiness as a unique trait. It's just...you, if that makes any sense. Ekko isn't put off by physical appearances, so he just loves you for you; the chubby is an added bonus that he gets to enjoy. He'll often take you on picnics, usually on some rooftops in the middle of his sanctuary, and he just lays on your thighs. It's one of the only times he doesn't have to be a strong leader for his people and can just be Ekko. Also, he shows you off to everyone he meets because his friends used to joke about him being single

[bluecookies02]

When they make you cry

pairings: Hawks x Reader, Dabi x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Aizawa x Reader, Izuku x Reader, Tamaki x Reader

Tamaki, Bakugou and Hawks are in a female!reader perspective, the rest of them are Gender Neutral

warnings: angst to fluff

masterlist

Hawks will get cocky, laughing in your face when he sees your shocked expression.

Both of you were going at each others throats, spitting insults to one another, just your recent daily routine.

Now Hawks knew you were a tough gal, which in his head made it alright for him to strike a really painful nerve into your chest.

As you remained speechless he turned around, a winning smirk plastered on his lips.

Just as he took a few steps forward, sobs wrecked your body as you hid your face in your hands.

"I d-don't think I can take this anymore Keigo" your broken voice reached his ears.

A pang of guilt pierced his chest once he turned around to face you.

He did this. He made you cry. He completely drained your happiness out. He hurt you.

His teeth dug into his lip, his eyes stinging as tears picked at them.

At that point, he didn't give two shits about who's right and who's wrong, his arms reaching for you and wrapping themselves around your shaking form.

He held you there for a while, listening to your cries that gradually turned into soft sniffles against his chest.

"I-" He opens his mouth but his words remained stuck at his throat.

"I don't want us to end..." you mumbled, your own words throwing you into another sobbing fit.

"We won't end here kid, I've got you...shit...I'm a fucking idiot...of course we won't end sweetheart...c'mon look at me" he raised your chin up gently, looking into your red eyes.

"I'm sorry, fuck I'm sorry...not just for today, for every day before this, I-, God... don't leave kid, p-please"

You stared at his face, tears now streaming down his cheeks as his grip on you tightened.

You swallow the lump in your throat, grabbing his hands in yours.

"Something has to change Keigo...I miss you...we've been distant for months. Sometimes you don't even come home to me, do you know how that feels?"

"I know, I know, I swear... I miss you too. I'll tell you about everything I promise. Let's go home please."

You hesitantly nod, putting your heart on the line for the last time.

And now looking back, you're glad you did.

//quirk: flesh manipulation (the reader can manipulate the molecules in a person's flesh just by touching it, making them useful mid-battle to make the other heroes ready to fight again in a matter of seconds, but also making them a threat to their enemies )

If there was one thing he despised about you, it was your guts.

Hell curse him for falling in love with someone so stubborn.

To live through a relationship with Dabi meant that you had to have though skin. You had to be strong enough to bite your cheeks and endure the issues that people in regular relationships never face.

He enters your home, covered in bruises and cuts, asking for your first aid kit.

You sigh to yourself, your usual nagging and yelling never reaching his ears.

You place the first aid kit onto your bedside table, turning your back to him, tiredly walking out of the room.

"Hey-" his voice calls out to you, quiet and confused.

You close the door behind you, making your way to your couch.

One of these days it'll be the last time he walks into your home, the last time you help him clean his cuts and the last time you hear his voice.

The weight of uncertainty pulls at your chest harder with every passing day.

He chose to continue living like this, he is the one that keeps ruining his own life, it's his ambitions that are making you this miserable.

Once he patches himself up, he sits on your bed for a while. Your silance meaning one thing and one thing only. You finally realized how pointless being with him is, you finally got it through your thick skull that he's nothing special to dwell about.

Time passes by quickly, a few hours already gone yet he's still glued to the same spot, not having the strength to leave your room, too scared to face your rejection once he gets out.

He should be happy for you, you won't be hurting anymore, you'll be able to find someone better.

He slowly twists the knob, taking slow steps through your living room.

You are laying on your couch, tear stains on your face and a tissue crumbled in your hand.

His chest tightenes at the sight. You cried yourself to sleep. He wonders... how many times did you cry over him? How many times would you just lay here as he carelessly roamed the streets?

He should leave...he should spare you the pain he brings. You were the only good thing in his life and by continuing this he'll ruin you, piece by piece.

You showed nothing but kindness to him, you made him realize that some people are worth getting close to, you being a hero also making his resolves shake under his feet.

He stretched his arm out to your cheek, careful not to wake you up.

He left a soft kiss to your temple before leaving your house.

-----

You woke up to a persistent ring of your doorbell.

You felt terrible...your hair was a mess, your nose was all clogged up and your eyes burned from all the crying.

You opened your door with annoyance, mad at whoever decided to burst your sadness bubble.

"Hey doll, I would've let myself in but my hands are kinda busy"

Your boyfriend stood there with a backpack on his shoulder and a carton box in his hands.

"So...do you happen to have a room to spare for a year or two...maybe three?"

You stare in disbelief your hand covering your mouth.

"I know that me being a villain might be a setback but...I got some hair dye? I might even consider letting you fix my jigsaw face."

Your body crashed into his, the box dropping to the ground as you squeezed your arms around him.

Maybe he can make you as happy as you make him.

You knew he was rough around the edges, but you never even imagined that you would be the one his rage would be directed at.

As soon as insults came crashing your way you left the room.

You were just trying to calm him down, placing your hand on his shoulder as you urged him to stop shouting and just let it go.

His rough hands grabbed yours, throwing your hand away like you were a mere fly, his quirk burning your skin.

You tried calling out to him just for him to snap around and scream at you.

Once you reached your dorm tears freely rolled down your cheeks.

You yearned for a normal relationship, longed for some peace and quiet just for a week or two.

Yet you just couldn't let the blonde go, always hoping for some miracle to come your way and take ahold of his ego.

--------

It's around 2 am and he can't fall asleep for the hell of it.

You're not picking up his calls nor answering his texts and you've been inactive on social media for hours.

Kirishima has been urging him to go to your dorm for two hours already, spamming him massages about him not being manly enough to win you back.

It's not like he doesn't want to, he just has no idea how to. Should he get you something? Get you some food and flowers? Where the fuck can he find all these things at 2 am? Isn't that how people in movies apologize or something...

He hates when you're mad at him, he is scared shitless of actually scaring you off and pushing you away.

A knock at your door snaps you out of your thoughts and a small flame of hope warms your heart for a split second as you make your way to your door.

He's holding a gray hoodie and a pair of bento boxes.

"That's not gonna fix it Katsuki."

"I know shitty woman you didn't even give me a chance to speak!"

You're sure that that's the first time Bakugou said the word "sorry" in his whole life.

The way it rolled off his tongue was shaky but somewhat determined, his hand grabbing ahold of yours gently.

Guilt was evident on his face as he stroked the bandages covering your hands.

"It's not that bad Katsu, and I understand that it was an accident." you mumbled trying to pull from his grip so he can focus on something else.

He grabbed ahold of your wrists, bringing your palms to his lips.

"I'll work on it, I promise. It'll never happen again. I mean it." you just give a soft nod, leading him to the table.

"Good. Now let's eat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" you cheered, opening the bentos and stuffing your mouth with rice.

"Y/N...it's 4 am."

"Exactly, now eat, you're not gonna let me eat all of this by myself?!"

For this man, it was close to impossible to make his s/o cry.

He cherishes the relationship he has with you, making you feel special every single day at a time.

So when he sees you crying, he's confused and alarmed.

He reaches for you, trying his best to give you the comfort he thinks you need.

When you push his hands away and scream at him...Oh boy...

He's terrified.

Did he do something? Did he forget your anniversary? Your birthday? Did he eat your snack from the fridge??

You're pulling at the strands of your hair, your head buried into your knees as you sob.

He looks around, eyes widening when he sees a photo of himself and some girl kissing on the screen of your phone.

He wasn't there? He has proof! He was in a meeting! All of his colleagues could confirm that, he just needs you to listen! Please listen to him.

He's talking...blabbering...begging for you to just look at him.

As soon as you look up for a split second, he's hugging you, smothering your face in kisses as you weakly try to push him away.

Finally he leans his forehead against yours, letting out a long sigh of relief when he realizes that you're not crying anymore.

"Please Shouta, please, if you even have any respect for me, don't lie to me." you mumble out coldly, turning your head from him.

"Y/N, I would never, ever do that to you! Never! I love you so much, please, you have to know that, you do know that!"

You're too stubborn, but he calls all of his colleges one by one, putting them on speaker for you, asking about the time of the meeting or details of the meeting and they all have the same answer.

So now, your throat is dry and there's a lump in your throat, guilt eating at you as you try to apologize.

He couldn't give two shits about any of that, all he has to know is that you're okay and that you're still his.

He's not letting you go for the rest of the day, you're wrapped under the blankets with him as he makes sure you never believe the bullshit you see online.

"Sweetheart if I ever cheat on you, that's the day I cut my own dick off and bleed to death."

It makes you giggle and then laugh hysterically and he's just looking at you with the biggest heart eyes 🥺

Izuku would never do anything to make you cry.

He pays attention to every single detail in your relationship and he especially pays attention to your feelings.

What he is really bad at, is taking care of himself.

He doesn't take in consideration how you feel when he comes home all stitched up and tired, or how he stays up late to train and push himself further than his body can take.

However one day, he is exhausted from his training and he barely has any strength left. His phone rings and he is rushing out the door, already panting.

You don't reach him in time to stop him, so here you are, hours later next to his hospital bed.

The villain wasn't too powerful, but his state caused him to pass out in the middle of the bettle field.

As soon as he wakes up, you're yelling at him, but at the same time sobbing against his chest.

"I can't just stand here and watch you hurt yourself Zuku... I can't, I can't, I can't....O-one of these days you're just gonna slip away from my hands, I can't. Please" You're grip on him softens as you loose the strength in your hands.

His arms wrap themselves around you, trying his best not to flinch as you rub against his bandages.

His eyes are watering, realization dawning on him as he holds your tired body against him.

You're right...He sees the state of himself after a lowlife villain with a pathetic quirk sent him into the hospital. He doesn't even want to think about what would've happened if there was someone much stronger out there.

"Hey Y/N...I-...I might take a week off, to rest yeah? Does that sound good?"

You nod, wiping away the tears as you sniffle.

"And you won't be training at night anymore. And you won't be staying up late!" you scold as he rubs your cheeks.

"I won't. I promise." he places a kiss at your temple, pulling you onto the hospital bed next to him.

"Let's sleep for a bit yeah? I might owe you a few hours..."

You're crying, he's crying.

He's down on one knee and he's stuttering, his hands shaking as he hears you cry out a happy "Yes".

He barely gets the ring on your finger, burying his head into your neck as soon as he gets to his feet.

You always thought that he was going to propose to you at home, maybe some homecooked dinner with roses and candles. You didn't mind that option either.

You were surprised that he even suggested a walk in the park.

I mean, it was a really small park with little to no people in the area but it was beautiful nonetheless.

You're all giddy and happy as he takes your hand in his, his eyes always glancing at the ring on your finger.

Once you spot an ice cream stand you leap in happiness, rushing to get ice cream for the both of you.

The lady selling it smiles brightly at you.

"Is that the lucky guy?" you nod grabbing your icecream as Tamaki hides behind you.

"Good job sweetheart, you're making this lady very happy, I can feel it in my old bones" you laugh at her remark as you nudge Tamaki forward.

She hands him his ice cream and winks at him.

He's blushing and thanking the lady before running off to an empty bench.

”He’s a lil’ shy but he's got the spirit” you say to the lady as you rush off to get him.

You take the time to really study the ring, the beautiful blue crystal shining in the sun.

”I...I hope you l-like it...Nejire helped me out. Uhm I probably shouldn't have said that...S-she-"

"I like it Tama...I love it actually" you place a gentle kiss just at the corner of his lips, his hands grabbing your cheeks and kissing you deeply in return.

His cheeks are warm and his lips are slow against yours but you melt against him, letting him place you in his lap.

"Oh my God, I have a fiancé, oh my God, I have to call Mirio and tell him you said yes. You said yes, right?"

You laugh as you shake your head at him, playing with his hair as he fumbles with his phone.

All of the pictures are from the original anime/manga (please do correct me if I'm wrong in the comments below)

The Tamaki one has no angst in it because I had to heal from all of the emotional rollercosters.

___________

requests:closed

commissions:open

Ko-Fi | Patreon 

[sparklingchim]

minie's mini-me had luck; m | pjm

pairing: dad!jimin x pregnant!reader

word count: 2.6k

rating: 18+

genre: smut, married couple, dad!jimin, pregnant!reader

warnings: impreg kink, cursing, breast play, dirty talk, handjob

summary: your hormones are wild and unpredictable, but it seems like your neediness picked out the perfect timing before your little boy could catch onto anything.

a/n: you can read this as a oneshot but part one is here also, this title was too silly to not choose it lmao

masterlist

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,,You're putting peanut butter on cucumber?", Jimins hoarse voice ricochets from the walls, rubbing one eye as he walks his sleepy self towards you.

You look up from the kitchen island, a knife -  with peanut butter leftovers on it - in one hand and a slice of cucumber in the other.

,,Mhm, what about it?" you ask while chewing the peanut butter cucumber combination, stopping yourself from moaning out loud as you savour the toothsome flavour that you just came up with when you examined the ingredients in the fridge.

,,That's something new on your weird craving list," he states, propping his elbows on the counter as he stands across from you.

You roll your eyes at his comment. ,,Your cravings aren't weird," you defend yourself, thinking about the way weirder cravings of people that you found online when you had your first pregnancy and were curious. Your idea of putting peanut butter on cucumber is not that odd. ,,Why are you up?" you ask, smearing peanut butter on the next slice of cucumber, watching his beautiful puffy and tired features as you gobble up your food.

It's approximately 3 am and you're currently occupied with eating your - almost daily - midnight snacks. For the past couple of weeks you got this sudden longing for eating something in the middle of the night. At first you didn't want to yield, not wanting to gain even more weight, but then again - who cares? You're carrying a 7 month old baby, the last thing you should do is ponder about whether these tidbits are gonna make your hips or maybe your thighs thicker. You're eating what you want, when you want and how much you want and no one's gonna stop you. (perhaps everyone's too afraid to say something that differs from your opinion because these last weeks your hormones are just feral and you can't seem to have empathy for anyone - and sometimes you have too much empathy, which ends up with you being a crying mess.)

,,Don't know, I felt that you're not in bed anymore so I wanted to check up on my girls," he shrugs, gazing at your hands that prepare the next piece for you to eat.

Your heart flutters at his reply, almost cooing at his caring nature.

However, you don't tell him how his fond words shoot tint sparks of endeared through you, but only stretch your arm offering him a slice of your cucumber peanut butter combination between your fingers.

,,You want some?" you cock an eyebrow, awaiting his reaction to your question.

,,I'll pass," he simply says, a little grossed out face overshadowing his sleepy features.

You giggle lightly, not hesitating to put the slice into your mouth since he turned your offer down.

While you chew your food, he walks around the island, standing behind you and placing his hands on your bump, rubbing it in gentle strokes. Your body automatically relaxes at his soothing touches and a sigh leaves your lips. You lean back and meet his bare chest. Jimin nuzzles his face into your neck. You hear his slow breathing near your ear, your skin tingling as soon as his warm breath hits your skin. He presses a few smooches on your neck, content sound emitting from him.

Despite the domestic and relaxing atmosphere you don't stay there longer anymore. Your back starts aching since you're standing in the kitchen for some time now. Briefly you consider to sit down at the table nearby, but you quickly realise that your stomach had enough of the peanut butter cucumber combination.

You close the peanut butter and take both viands to put them back to their place, but Jimin is quick to halt you.

,,Head to bed, baby," he says softly, grabbing the food from your hands.

You mutter a 'thank you' a little smile curling on your face after you press a peck onto his shoulder, too tired and worn out to stand on your tip toes and reach up for his lips. He gives your back a loving pat, before you turn around and waddle your way to our bedroom, already anticipating the warmness of the heavy blankets.

Once you get into bed you sigh relieved. You lie on your side, eyes peering at the door and waiting for Jimin to join you.

You hear him shutting of the water, probably because he cleaned the knife you used to slice the cucumber and dipped it into peanut butter After that, you hear him turning of the lights - hitting the light switch rather harshly. Only a few seconds later, his tranquil steps come closer, his slippers brushing against the floor at his lazy walk. Soon he enters your big bedroom, leaving the door ajar behind him. Then he walks around the king-sized bed, sliding into the sheets behind you and wrapping one arm over your bump. Jimin slightly hovers over you to peck your cheek, before resting his head on his pillow, snuggling his face into your neck.

Perhaps a few seconds later you feel this familiar feeling rushing through your body. You know exactly what it means after all this time.

,,Jimin?" you whisper into the dark, tilting your head to the side to get a glimpse of him.

,,Mhm?"

,,You're tired?" you ask, eyes trying to make out his face and body.

,,Why?"

,,I just..." Before you properly give him an answer you decide to wiggle your ass on his crotch, showing him instead of talking. He grips your hip at your action, groaning lightly.

,,You want it, baby?", his husky voice leaving your body in shivers.

,,Please," you beg, almost sounding whiny. Your hormones are turning you into a desperate wife in need. (You try to erase the thought that you sound the same in bed when you're not pregnant and Jimin is messing with you, teasing you in every way possible and turning you into a whimpering mess. These are your hormones, definitely nothing else.)

,,Let me grab lube," he says, the warmness of his body leaving your back.

You hear the sounds of him rummaging in his night stander and then closing it after he found the lube. You watch him as he pull his boxers down, only so far to free his cock.and takes his place behind you again. His hand slide up your grey nightgown from your knees to your stomach, revealing your black panty.

He lets a few spurts of the strawberry flavoured lube fall onto his cock. You grab his member behind you, pumping his big length up and down to get him hard, while he pulls your panty down, sliding one of his fingers through your folds and gathering your arousal that lightly build up there.

Jimin moans lightly, gripping your hip once again, but surely leaving marks this time. He gets fully hard after a few more strokes of your little hand working on his length. He grabs the lube again, coating his fingers with it and then he proceeds to rub it over your pussy, one finger sliding into your warmth as he does so.

Your breath hitches, eyebrows furrowed as he plunges another finger in you. You're pussy is so sensitive that it could cum from just a few strokes of his fingers.

,,Chim, please. I want your cock," you mutter.

He hums behind you, planting a kiss on your arm.

Jimin raises your leg a little and you guide him between your legs, rubbing his tip over your lubricated folds.

Your hand leaves his member, waiting for Jimin to sink himself into your core. He does  and - oh fuck - it feels like heaven. If it wouldn't be for your 2 year-old son sleeping across from you in his room, a loud moan would be ringing throughout the room.

Slowly he buries his dick into you, stretching you open just like always.

,,Shit, baby," he curses under a breath, one hand pulling your raised leg down, that action causing your walls to get more tighter around him. ,,You're so tight. Shit."

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip, suppressing all the moans that claw on your throat to let them out of you.

His hand palms your clothed breast, only squeezing it lightly before his fingers play with your nipple. He pinches them, already awaiting the small droplets of milk that will stain your nightgown. When your grey colour darkens where your nipple is he groans loudly, earning a nudge from your elbow. But how is he supposed to stay quiet at that beautiful sight? It's impossible. You're too caught up in relishing the delicious stretch of his throbbing cock to scold him for being too loud.

,,You're pregnant pussy feels so good, fuck," he breathes, slowly starting to move inside you.

Jimin is so deep inside, his tip kissing your cervix every time he lunges forward.

You press your face into the pillow, your moans and loud breaths getting swallowed by it.

Jimins hand trails down, nestling his hand between your legs to rub your clit in fast circles as his pace fastens.

During your pregnancy it doesn't take a lot to make you cum, your whole body reacting to everything twice as sensitive. You would love to feel always like that, every sensation doubling up in their pleasure and causing you to enjoy it even more than before.

So after a few seconds, you feel your climax approaching. Eyes shutting close when the sparks of euphoria buzz inside you without mercy and overwhelms all your senses.

,,I'm gonna cum," you muffle half into the pillow, warning him.

,,Cum all over your cock, baby. You can do it," Jimin encourages you, fingers adding more pressure on your swollen clit.

And that's all it takes for the sparks of pure pleasure to explode and drench you in their heavenly feeling, leaving your body trembling and squirming. Your walls clench around his cock and his fingers slow their motions. You bite down your lip so hard you're afraid that you'll bruise yourself, but staying quiet is much more important now.

,,You're so good baby," he pants, his thrusts getting sloppier as he chases his own high now.

You whine when you're clit gets to sensitive and nudge his hand between your legs. Instead he reaches for your boobs again, occupying himself with your full and milk-filled breast that are ready to feed his baby.

,,You're such a good mother," he mumbles rather to himself as he tweaks your nipple to get more milk out of you, big eyes watching the dark patch that gets bigger the more he plays with your milk filled tits. ,,I always want you like this. Always want to fill up your pussy and let you carry my babies. You're so fucking pretty like this." Jimin moans breathless, nuzzling his head into your neck as he feels himself loosing control over his sounds.

,,Fill me up," you tell him. ,,I want your cum in my pussy, Jimin."

,,You want that? Want to have your pussy stuffed with my seed?"

,,Y-yeah, please, I need it," you rasp.

,,What a fucking greedy wife I have," he says, his cock twitching inside you.

,,All yours. I'm all yours." The words leave your mouth before you can even think about it. Because it's true. Your all his and he's all yours.

,,This pussy belongs to me?"

,,Yes, it's all yours."

,,Fuck, that's right." A long and nearly whiny moan escapes from him, but he's quick to shut himself with biting at your neck.

With another deep thrust his cum coats your walls white and he can't prevent himself from moaning your name in a low groan. Spurts of cum shoot into you and he moves his dick till your tight walls get too much. He stays inside your warmth for a while, prepping kisses on your neck and softly running his hands over your bump.

,,I love you," he whispers, pressing a kiss on your lips now.

,,I love you," you reply a little smile tugging on your lips.

After sharing a few more kisses, he slowly pulls out, causing you to whimper. Jimin rubs your hip in an attempt to sooth you.

He quickly grabs some tissues behind him and he cleans your pussy that already started leaking with both your juices.

Then he stands up, pulling his briefs up again and throws the dirty tissues away. When he's back in the bed, Jimin slips your panty back on and slides your nightgown down again, tucking you under the sheets and keeping you all warm and safe. You ask yourself how he still has so much energy to do all of this, but he's not the pregnant one after all.

Your little session made you feel so much more relaxed and your back pain was also not there anymore. But your love making made your limbs grow more tired and so it's no surprise that you're eyes are already closed, murmuring a little 'good night' to Jimin.

,,Good night, love," he whispers, hand firmly placed on your stomach like every night.

Before you could drift of to dreamland though, you hear little foot steps walking towards your bedroom.

,,Daddy?" the tiny voice of your little boy echoes through the room, an alarming feeling settling within you.

Your eyes open immediately, taking Jihoon in and examining his whole little being to search for the reason why he showed up at your room. His teddy bear swaying over the floor as he clutches it tightly with his little hand, his big eyes - that look so much like his daddy's - looking at the both of you and his pouty lips - that again looks just like Jimin's - jutting out.

,,Jihoon-ie? What's wrong, little guy?" Jimin is the first one to respond.

,,Nightmare," your boy mutters, rubbing on eye with his tiny fist.

,,Come into bed, baby," you say, sliding closer to the edge of the bed to make room between Jimin and you. Creating some space for Jihoon to sleep on.

Jihoon instantly steps toward the bed. He has some troubles climbing onto it, but before Jimim can sit up to help him he's already on the bed - he learned from all the times he stepped by your bed at night when something was disturbing him to sleep alone and those times when he'd wake you up in the morning with jumping on the bed and throwing himself on your sleeping bodies. Jihoon crawls to the space between Jimin and you.

Jimin and you are both turned towards Jihoon, watching your boy getting comfortable under the sheets. Jihoon turns around to you, his small hand instinctively reaching for your bump and closing his eyes

,,goo' night," he mumbles, voice laced with tiredness.

,,Good night," Jimin replies.

A fond smile spread on your lips. You gently run your fingers through his soft hair, while Jimin strokes his back. Your fingers skim down to his forehead, lightly rubbing your thumb over his skin.

Only a few seconds later your eyes close again, your movement on his skin getting slower with every breath you take, but then again, before unconsciousness washes over you, a thought hits you.

If Jihoon would've come into the bedroom a few minutes earlier, he would surely be confused about what his parents where doing in bed. Oh God. That is definitely not something pleasant to think about before drifting to sleep.

You try to erase that thought, glad that everything just went smoothly without any interruptions that would end up with your son getting traumatised by his needy parents.

And luckily dreamland is only a few minutes  away from you.

[racheloveyunho]

Till Death do us part - 2

Y/N grew up in a wealthy family, she always was seen as a beautiful and smart kid and was most likely to take her father’s place as the CEO of one of the most important companies in South Korea. However, after the death of her mother, Y/N’s family slowly started to break apart. Her father was always working to forget his uncalled pain while his kids were left alone at home.

She was 17 years old when her life took a sudden turn when she met him in a dark alley. He was a bloody mess, bruises everywhere but behind blood and dirt, she could see his beautiful features and his addictive gaze. Maybe she should have walked away, maybe she shouldn’t have helped him, but the moment his gaze locked with hers, she was already his.

Choi San was his name.

Genre: Mafia AU, smut, angst, fluff, stranger to lovers

Words: 2237

TW series: Y/N is described as an OC. Please be aware that this story will contain a lot of triggering content such as smut, blood, death, murder, drug, kidnapping, etc. Do not read if you are under a legal age!

TW chapter: Body shaming, reader being forced into a marriage, character got slapped, swearing, threats.

I was finally back home. Fortunately for me, my dad hadn’t noticed me since he was already sleeping on the couch.

I quickly went upstairs to my room and collapsed on my bed, my mind still processing what had happened earlier. It was scary to say the least but fascinating at the same time. I was still confused even after showering. This San had a deep effect on me, not only mentally but physically too.

“Choi San…” I muttered before closing my eyes and drifting into a deep sleep.

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Chapter 2

2 years after.

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Days and months went by so fast, I didn't even see them go by.

It has already been two years since my first meeting with San and since then, I didn't met him again. However, he was still on my mind, from the moment I woke up tired in the morning until the moment my head was hitting the pillow at night.

I just couldn't stop myself from thinking about him, his voice, his gaze, his touch, and the shivers he gave me when his mouth had come close to my ear.

"Hey sis’, what is going on? You had been absent-minded for a while and I still don't know why" Jin said with a hint of worry in his voice before he looked around, checking the surroundings to make sure we were alone "Is it because of dad?" he asked.

For the first time since our mother passed away, dad was at home for a whole month without any explanation. He was now working from home and even though It was something I dreamed of a few years ago, it was now so stuffy, I couldn’t breathe properly in my own house. Every single time I went outside of the comfort of my room, I silently prayed not to meet him, hoping that our house was big enough to let me avoid him.

"I'm fine but I'll be better if he wasn't around" I shrugged while looking at my plate "I'm not hungry today" I nonchalantly played with my food.

"Please force yourself and eat a little, you loosed too much weight recently" he furrowed his eyebrows with true concern in his soft brown eyes.

"I'm fine Jin, really! No need to worry for me" I stood up but felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my track.

I turned around and saw my dad with his usual stern expression "Sit down." he calmly ordered.

I sat down without a word, I knew I was about to be lectured one more time.

"Why are you not eating?" my dad asked, voice sounding more as a threat than a question.

"Not hungry" I simply answered.

A long silence settled in the dining room, Jin and I were looking down, trying to avoid any eye contact with the man we referred to as our dad. I laughed internally at the situation, wondering if the kids in other families were afraid of their parents too.

"You don't have to eat if you don't want to, men love slim girls so it'll be good for you to start a diet." He stated, unbothered by the awkward silence.

I was annoyed by his remark 'how dare he' I thought 'Is he thinking my body is his?'

"I'll be dumb if I'd choose a man who loves me just for my body, I will not change anything for anyone" I retorted, Jin nodding in approval, visibly proud of me. But, my father didn’t seem pleased at all by my answer and my rebellious behavior.

"Well, I wasn't talking about any random man, but about your fiancé. He likes slim girls." my dad crossed his arms.

I shot a glance back at my father with wide eyes, he was smirking over my shocked expression, feeling visibly satisfied by the way he made me go silent.

"My fiancé? What are you talking about? I never had a boyfriend in my whole life, how could I have a fiancé?" I shouted, standing up from my chair which quickly and loudly fell on the ground.

"I chose a good boy for you, he is the son of a rich politician who will be useful to me and the future of my company. In two months, when you'll turn 20, you will marry him" he said, not sparing a glance at me as he busily taped on the screen of his new expensive phone.

My mouth was now wide open, and so was my brother's.

Jin stood up angrily, it was the first time I ever saw him defy our father's authority. His brown eyes who always seemed so soft to me were now darker than ever. The anger in his body was showing with his tensed muscles and the vein in his forehead that was angrily popping up. His jaw was so tight, I swore he could have been able to break his own teeth.

"What to do you mean she will marry him? Are you not concerned about your daughter's happiness? Can't you stop thinking about your work and think more about your family instead, for at least once in your life? That's why mom died! You-..." Jin got slapped by my father before he could even finish his sentence. Our father’s face was red and rage was visible through his eyes.

I gasped and kneeled myself to my brother's side, the impact was so hard that he was now laying on the ground, his right hand hiding his red cheek. Jin shot a death stare up at my father who was still standing in front of us.

"I heard that you want to integrate the Seoul national university, Y/N. You will need money for that, right? If you marry this man, I'll give you all the money you want. If not, you can already say goodbye to this dream of yours." he told me with a harsh voice "Think well cause your birthday is coming up" he added before exiting the room.

I collapsed on the floor, tears were stinging my eyes and blurring my vision. Jin hugged me tightly and patted my back, whispering sweet nothings to my ear to comfort me the best he could.

I hid my head on his neck and cried silently, I hated this, hated this situation, hated this life. I was like a bird trapped in a silver cage.

I ate nothing for the rest of the day after my dad had announced my upcoming wedding.

I still couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. How come a father could do this to his only daughter? Wasn't he supposed to love and cherish me?

It was Saturday and after a lazy morning, I finally stood up to do my daily routine. I put the prettiest dress I had on my dressing and put natural makeup on. I tried my best to cover up my dark circles and hide the exhaustion in my face caused by a long night of crying.

Today, my best friend Hana and I, planned to hang out together for a shopping day. It was the best way for me to think about something else than my current situation.

I took a look at my phone and saw her message "Hey honey, I'm waiting in front of your house~" I read before smiling and joining her outside the house, in front of the big gateway.

"Wow, you are stunning! Why is that? You're going to meet this San again?" She smiled widely.

Hana is the first friend I ever made in my life, I first met her when I was just 6 years old and she always stayed by my side even when I went through hard times. Her cheerful personality and her warm smile made her easy to get along with, she was the best at socializing, she was literally a burst of energy by herself and never failed to make me crack up a smile even when I wasn’t in a good mood. She made everyone feel attracted to her, she wasn’t only nice and outgoing but beautiful and funny as well. Her short and messy hair were completing her chubby cheeks and her brown eyes. Her tall frame and perfect curves made everyone drool over her, men and women.

She knew everything about my life. When something happened to me, she was the first one I talked to.

"I already told you! I know nothing about him, I don't even have his phone number, how could I meet him?" I pouted before laughing playfully.

We took the first bus we saw and headed downtown.

"It's a shame he isn't on any social media" she whined loudly "Dude, don't get me started" I answered, almost complaining.

During the bus ride, I talked once again about how I felt about San and the gorgeous charisma he had. Hana listened to me as if it was the first time I talked about this whilst I already told her a hundred times before.

Within ten minutes, we had reached our destination.

"Y/N! Look at this! I'm sure this top will fit you perfectly" I heard Hana yelling from the other side of the shop.

Everyone looked at us, some customers were judging us silently while others smiled, probably finding amusement in my friend’s behavior.  I apologized to the other customers for the noise and quickly went to my friend's side, slightly embarrassed even though I was used to it. Hana didn't know the word "silent".

After 3 hours of shopping, I went outside to eat ice cream with Hana. We moved to a quiet spot with no one around. The weather was nice, it was a sunny day and I let myself relax under the comfortable heat.  I always liked rainy days better but I liked to feel the sun against my skin from time to time.

"I'm sorry to say this Y/N, but your father is truly an asshole" Hana swore between her teeth after I told her what happened at home the previous day.

"I don't know what I'm going to do about this. Is it better to agree and then divorce this guy? But my dad is well-known, he always will find a way to keep me under his grip, no matter what I do. I feel completely useless and trapped, I can’t find a good way to escape from this" I spoke in a low tone, sadness filling my voice the more I talked.

I sighed, concerned by the situation I was into. Hana gently rubbed my back to give me some comfort while my head was on her shoulder. We stayed silent for a few minutes, both of us didn’t know what to say because we both knew that there was no way I could escape my fate.

"Excuse me, are you Kim Y/N?"

I turned around to see who had called my name. In front of me stood was a well-dressed man, a bit older than me with a confident look. He wasn't especially handsome, but he wasn't unpleasant to look at. He had this classic Korean vibe one could find everywhere here in Korea.

"Yes? Who are you?" I politely asked.

He took my hand in his own, making me stand up from the bench I was sitting in. Soon after, he put a slight kiss on the back of my hand.

"What the hell?" I shouted and took my hand off his.

It wasn't in our culture to do something like this so I first assumed he had grown up abroad but honestly, from what I knew, even in the USA or Europa no one kissed a perfect stranger met in the street less than ten seconds ago.

"Who the heck are you?" Hana jumped between the man and me.

"I'm Hwang Jinyoung, her future husband" he simply stated, a smirk on his face.

"I never agreed on that." I frowned my eyebrows at his statement.

"What do you mean you never agreed? Your father told us that you were glad to be my future wife" The man seemed truly surprised or at least, he was pretending well to be.

"He lied!" I yelled out, the anger taking over me while I clenched my fists, nails finding their way onto y skin.

I was angry that my father had one more time, talked for me without my consent. My body was shaking from anger while the man laughed at my reaction.

"Move, you're in my way" He suddenly stopped laughing and violently pushed Hana to the ground.

My eyes opened wide from the shock. I was about to check on Hana to be sure she wasn't hurt but Jinyoung grabbed my wrist and pulled me in his chest.

"Why are you so angry? I will take good care of you!" he chuckled.

"Let me go!" I screamed against him, feeling the tears tingling my eyes.

I suddenly felt a strong arm around my waist which encircled me from behind.

"Holy shit." Hana gasped when she saw the handsome man who was protectively hugging me.

I had no need to look back, I already knew who it was. This touch and this warmness were simply unforgettable.

"If you don't let her go in the next five seconds, I'll blow your hands off." the voice behind me growled against Jinyoung.

The beating of my heart quickened. For the past two years I had dreamed about him every night and now, I was finally able to see him again.

"San!" I shouted happily, finally looking to the handsome boy. He smiled back atme but his expression became cold again as he stared at Jinyoung. My so-called husband finally let my wrist go and hardly swallowed his spit.

"Y-you! What are you doing here?" he asked with a shaking voice. I had no doubt about the fact that he knew who San was and that he probably knew him better than I did.

---------

---------

Edit: Guys, I'm so surprised, I didn't think I would get so many likes for this series, I just uploaded it two days ago after all lol but I'm glad! The next chapter is already done but I'll wait a bit before uploading it, maybe next week? Anyways, thank you again!

Tag list:

@hijirikaww @pinkchampagne2

[honeybeanboo]

genshin boys with eating disorders pt. 3

CHARACTERS:

albedo

bennett

chongyun

diluc

kazuha

kaeya

razor

childe

venti ✔

xiao ✔

xingqiu ✔

zhongli ✔

MAJOR TW //

eating disorders

┅ venti ┅

❂ restricting and purging eating disorder

❂ started + time had: during the stormterror crisis - around a year

❂ who knows: traveler

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of venti's ed is discontent and loneliness

it all started with Signora- and the gnosis, oh his gnosis was what kept it all together, kept him together,,, he remembers watching humans as the breeze and wishing he could be in that body

and when he was finally in that body, he loved it

venti cherishes the human experience, he loves eating and he loves endulging in the human treats and experiences! he never understood why so many women around him, and to be fair a couple of men were so concerned about "gaining weight"

it never made sense to him? he could eat as much as he wanted and keep the same petite young look- until his gnosis was gone

he didn't notice for a while, until a little girl saw him walking by and looked confused. "that doesn't look like the statue? the statue is smaller...?" and it stuck in his head, it wouldn't leave

diluc wondered where he had done when he didn't show up at the tavern, wondered why he had stopped eating much, wondered where he went when he finally came back and ate to his heart's content and then left abruptly

he hates this human body now, he hates how it rolls and shakes - venti pinches it and frowns at how quickly it seems to go from boylike god to big and unwanted -- and it escalates quickly, he cuts off the bar, making the excuse that he wanted to drink less, avoids food and any time anyone offers him food, he smiles brightly and says he had a big meal just before :(

he's alone - alone in the bathroom throwing up the alcohol and dinners, alone on the cliffs, running up and down with tears on his face because only now does he realize how lazy it is to drift on the wind instead of dashing on the ground, he's alone in the Windrise tree- hands bruised and bloody from climbing up through the branches

all the places he thought were peaceful and comforting are now tainted with his trapping thoughts

- traveler heard him, they wouldn't leave his side after the angel's share and he resented that, he felt his panic growing and growing and before he knew it he was shaking,,, crying around the toilet with blood on the seat from his raw throat -- and so the traveler knew

┅ venti ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: almost out of nowhere, around 5 years

❂ who knows: traveler suspects

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of xiao's ed is self-hatred and bargaining

he doesn't remember when it started, he only remembers how good it felt to starve, how satisfying it is to kill enemies with an empty stomach- he's quiet and likes it that way

nobody ever knows because he just teleports away, disappears within seconds if anyone gives him so much as a judgmental glance

it's rewarding, almost as much as ridding liyue of his karma, because it's punishment, redemption, right? cleaning both inside and out, depriving himself of food like the nation was reprived,,, it's a balance, right?

xiao travels liyue, visiting caves, stuck in the endless cycle of self-revenge, but he can't die so it doesn't really matter to him

he deserves the pain doesn't he?

since he never really befriended people, it never occurred to him that it could hurt someone else, he never stopped to think how to hide this from a friend- he didn't have a problem, it was just something to rid himself of the unbearable hatred and guilt... so why did terror ignite in his chest at the thought of the traveler knowing

so he does everything and anything to keep them from finding out :( leaving in the middle of conversations, making excuses, turning down gifts, and it hurts his heart more than he thought it would, seeing their smile slowly turn into a sad frown

- he sees it as making himself suffer, a good trade for what he's done, the lives he's taken- bargaining with his own mind

- he doesn't realize he's addicted to the way it feels until he's forced to eat and immediately retreats for days, feeling immense hatred yet again

- he starts to let his guard and demeanor down around the traveler, his only real friend besides zhongli and even that is a stretch

┅ xingqiu ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder (w/orthorexic tendencies)

❂ started + time had: when he saw a girl writing down her cals in a notebook, around 4 months

❂ who knows: no one

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of xingqiu's ed is secrecy and recording

it's a bunch of different things that got xingqiu's disorder started, from building pressure from his family, to what he wanted to do, to just his overall bookwormy nature, it seems like a recipe for disaster

and sadly it was, although the last push was by coincidence

a small glance in the library and he was pulled toward this girl, quite thin, writing down something in her notebook and another glance told him that it was meals, portions, nutritional details and he was immediately hooked

it spiraled badly from there, starting small with markings of eating a meal every time he would have it, then starting to notice other people not doing the same, the boy began to feel above them, since he could be precise and small, why couldn't they?

and so he did more, he made charts, he kept a daily track of each small meal, numbers filling up a navy bound journal and his brain every day, it seemed fine, he thought it would be good for his future as well since he wanted to be a hero, wanted to swing his sword with ease

xingqiu is already small so this only grows more concerning to random passerby who whisper to each other, "he's smaller than i remember"

- he carries his notebook everywhere, calling it his poetry archive and when chongyun asks, he doesn't even falter, reciting a poem from thin air

- he's hard on himself when he passes a certain number:(

- recently, he constantly feels dizzy, which he records down as a new symptom of his "mental strength"

┅ zhongli ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: when he gave away his gnosis, around 8 months

❂ who knows: childe wonders but doesn't think much

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of zhongli's ed is denial and pride

the geo archon wouldn't seem like the kind of person to deny himself anything right? considering he's also Morax, but when he handed his gnosis over, the man might have dove into human living a little too quickly

hunger and poverty was the main thing that he wanted to experience but it backfired

hunger was part of being human right? and that was what he wanted, so he starved, taking note of how it felt, how his mortal body reacted and he enjoyed it, it felt cleansing

and so he continued, increasing the length of his fasts and resenting the days where he would eat normally, or "ate like a god" as he liked to call it

it's quite convenient when he runs out of mora because there's his excuse easily grasped and childe just laughs it off

he doesn't even realize that this isn't normal, for being so smart, the man doesn't seem to observe how everyone else around him ate-- or maybe he does and simply chooses to fast anyway :(

- admitting it would mean he would have to give up this lifestyle he had begun to become accustomed to

-------------------------

part three! and final part is done hehe

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 16 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

<- Previous part (15)

Next part (17)->

{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Birth

Dr. Williams and two other nurses are the only ones here besides Keanu. You've been in agonizing pain for over an hour now, but it's finally time.

“You're completely dilated now.” Dr. Williams says from her place in between your legs. “You just have to push, alright? Can you do it?”

“No.” You cry, many tears staining your cheeks, hair attached to your face because of the sweat. The pain is too great, and you're conflicted by Keanu's presence. And you just can't. “I can't. I want a cesarian.” Pleading, you rest your back against the bed, hands covering your face.

“We can't perform a cesarian now.” Dr. Williams says. “(Y/N), you're ready. Your baby is coming and I get it that you're scared, but you're almost there. Just push.”

“I can't. I can't.” Voicing breaking, you feel as the sobs shake your body.

“(Y/N).” Keanu's voice reaches you, ripping through the chaos. Your eyes find him, standing away. But soon enough he comes closer, taking your hand. “You can do this, sweetheart. I know you can.”

Nodding, you close your eyes tight and push, biting back a groan as it feels like all strength is leaving your body. You can't faint now... You have no idea what would happen if you pass out.

“Good, (Y/N). Again.” Dr. Williams says, and so you do it.

“I can't.” Shoulders shaking, you squeeze Keanu's hand.

“I can see the head. A big push and it's over, (Y/N), c'mon.”

“One more,” Keanu repeats, moving to seat on the bed next to you. Nothing else matters now, and everything that happened is forgotten. You need him, so you just move, the best you can, your back against his chest as his free hand comes to grab your thigh, keeping your legs spread. “One more push and you'll meet Liam, sweetheart, you can do it.”

His voice brings you a new strength, and you turn your face to look at him, a hand finding its way to his face, pulling him closer so you can kiss him. Then, with your eyes still closed, you hold on to his biceps and push, with whatever strength still left inside you. You're almost giving up when a cry fills the hospital room, the pain surrenders, and Dr. Williams stands up straight, holding a tiny little human in her arms.

“Here he is.” She says, smiling. “I'll clean him up and I'll hand him over to you, alright?”

Still catching your breath, you nod, lying back down, colliding on Keanu's chest. The doctors do their stuff as you try to calm down after all this effort. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you never thought it would be this hard. “I can leave if you want.” He says, letting go of your thigh. There will be a bruise there, but you don't mind.

“No.” You're quick to answer, voice a little harsh. Part of you doesn't want to need him, to love him this much, but you do. The heart wants what it wants. It loves who it loves. “Stay to meet the baby.”

“Alright.”

It takes a few minutes until Dr. Williams brings Liam to you. He's wrapped around a pale blue blanket since Keanu remembered to bring your bag when he went to pick you up at the hotel. And he's absolutely beautiful, so light you barely feel him in your arms.

“Hi, baby.” You whisper, barely hearing your own voice. Slowly, you touch his forehead with your fingers, softly, as if he's made of glass. You can't control the tears rolling down, but they're from joy this time. You can't believe you're finally seeing him, face to face, after carrying him inside you for so long. He moves his mouth a little, and slowly, he opens his eyes, curiously looking around before blinking a few times. “It's mommy, little one. And...” The words get caught in your throat, your heart sinking a little. “...And daddy...” You push out because Dr. Williams said babies can recognize the parents' voice from the moment they're born, and the father's voice belongs to Keanu, and you know how much it hurts to miss this man, you don't want Liam to feel the same pain. Turning your head to look at Keanu, you're surprised to find teary eyes focused on the baby. “D-do you want to talk to him?”

He nods, glancing at you. He does love this child, that's not up to discussion. “Hi there, little one.” He starts, voice a little clouded. “It's so good to finally meet you.” Liam seems to find you with his eyes, and they move from Keanu and back at you.

“Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Reeves.” Dr. Williams says, and the way she addresses you makes you move uncomfortably. “I must take the baby now. Run a few exams to be sure he's one hundred percent fine. Then we'll bring him back so you can feed him”

“Alright...” You don't want to let him go yet, but you knew about these exams. “Keanu, can you... Just keep an eye on him?” You ask in a low voice before Dr. Williams comes to take Liam from your arms.

“Sure.” Keanu slowly gets up, and you feel a little abandoned. But you shouldn't. You shouldn't have him this close, and you definitely shouldn't have kissed him.

But you can't take those things back. And you're not sure if you would if there was a chance.

You spend two days in the hospital, with Dr. Williams teaching you everything you'll need to know. But you've been taking classes, and reading many things about how to take care of your baby, so you think you can do it. Well, at least the theory. Laura comes to visit, and so does Lucia. Keanu doesn't leave except to shower and have dinner. Other than that, he's always around.

But the day comes when you can leave, so you bathe, dress up and wait for the nurse to bring Liam. You were trying not to think too much about it, but eventually, you have to. As you thank and watch the nurse leaving, you see as Keanu comes in, always a little embarrassed, avoiding your stare, head low. You haven't spoken much. Actually, you haven't said anything to him since the birth. You did thought he'd leave after that, but surprisingly, he stayed.

Holding Liam on one arm, very, very carefully, you try to pick up your bag. “Let me.” Keanu quickly says, making you stop your motion, eyes following him around as he takes the bag himself. “I can drive you wherever you'll be staying.” The words come out heavy as if they're piercing through his throat. “Or a cab, if–”

“No.” Cutting him short, you shake your head. There isn't anywhere else. The hotel is out of question, as is Lucia. And you don't want to crowd Laura's apartment with a loud, crying baby. And the house is ready to receive Liam, so, for now, there's no other place. “For Liam's sake, I believe it would be better if we stayed at your place. If that's not a problem for you, of course.” It takes a lot of effort not to call his place ‘home’. Because that's what that place is.

“Of course not.” He seems perplexed, furrowing his eyebrows a little before gesturing at the door. “Let's go.”

“Let's go.” You mutter, setting in motion.

• • •

Liam proved that knowing the theory doesn't mean you'll nail the real thing. At first, you find it strange that he sleeps too much, even though you read that newborn babies sleep for like seventeen hours a day, only to wake up when they're hungry. And that happens every two to three hours, which means you barely have any sleep. But you're completely focused on him, jumping to your feet whenever you hear that low-pitched cry.

You also start with the postpartum exercises, which was already planned, with a personal trainer that comes three times a week, so your body will go back to normal. You dropped many pounds very quickly. These things aren't that important, not now at least, that everything got real and you're still trying to deal with the web of lies you were caught into, but the routine gives you something else to think about.

The diet is carefully followed too, but that's all Keanu. You don't really see him, since you confined yourself to the guest room, where Liam is also sleeping in his crib, but the meals are always ready. He doesn't even give you the chance to cook something. When you go downstairs to eat, there's something ready for you.

The first month goes by slowly, and you're starting to get the hang of things. Since Liam spends most of the day in the bedroom with you, you asked Keanu to take him for his daily morning walks around the neighborhood. You agree with Laura, you can't and won't pull Liam away from him.

Sometime around Liam's second month, you're checking your face in the mirror. You look terribly tired, and you feel even worse. But the exhaustion is worth it, and you get a reminder every time you see or hear Liam. Taking a step back, you take a look at your body. You did recover from the baby weight pretty quickly since sometimes you have nothing to do but to keep repeating the exercises. You barely remember how you looked before.

Despite being a little early, you decide to call it a night, curling up in bed. You did miss sleeping on your stomach, but you spent so much time sleeping on your side that you just feel a lot more comfortable like this. You're having some kind of dream, about a peaceful beach when you're awakened by a gentle shake on your shoulder. Breathing deeply, you slowly float back into consciousness, raising your head and finding Keanu seated on the bed with a teary Liam on his arms.

“What happened?” You ask, already pushing yourself into a sitting position.

“Liam was crying. You didn't hear it so I came and changed him. But I think he's hungry.” Keanu says in a low voice, and you take Liam from his arms.

“I'm sorry he woke you up. I... I'm just tired.” You're surprised you fell in such a deep sleep you didn't hear Liam. “Thanks, though.” Sliding the strap from your tank top down your shoulder, you open the bra, freeing your breast which is easily found by Liam. It takes a while until you get reminded of Keanu's presence, your senses overcome by the need to feed your baby. So you give him a look, and you find his eyes locked on his hands cupped together on his lap.

“You don't have to thank me. I'm here if you need me.”

“Why did you do this, Keanu?” You didn't want to talk about it, but there's a freaking elephant in the room and you can't take it anymore. And you need to hear it from him because you're not sure where you're going from now. You're living one day after the other, but still, you feel lost. Clueless. “Why did you lie to me like that?”

“They told me you could lose the baby.” He begins, sad eyes finding yours. “Depending on how you'd take the news about the memory loss, Daniel's death, and the pregnancy. Dr. Wright said you were too hurt already, and your body wouldn't be able to deal with the stress.”

“Then it wasn't your idea.”

Silently, he shakes his head no. “I knew it wasn't fair to you. You needed Daniel, not me, a complete stranger, but if anything happened to you or the baby because I didn't agree with that crazy idea I'd never forgive myself.”

You're about to say something when Liam makes a little noise, and you look down at him. “Slowly, baby, slowly.” You whisper, caressing his cheek before speaking to Keanu again. “Why did you... Why did you...”

“Because I was in love with you by then.” He answers, knowing exactly what you're talking about. “I didn't want to. I mean, I did, I just... I knew I should have stopped, but I couldn't. I loved you so much. I love you so much and I–”

“I felt so violated. I thought I was making love with my husband, not with a stranger.” The words are harsh, but they're true. And the truth must be spoken.

“I'm so sorry, (Y/N). And I completely understand if you hate me.”

“I hate that I love you.” Muttering, you focus on the baby in your arms because you can't bring yourself to stare at Keanu anymore. “But I do. And it sucks because I feel that everything you told me was a lie. The first ‘I love you’ certainly was.”

He takes a deep breath, and you feel his eyes burning on you. “The first was, but all the other times...” Keanu moves closer, and you raise your eyes to meet his. “I love you. And I hate myself for everything I did, but I did it for you. And for Liam. I was terrified that you'd leave after knowing the truth, that you'd never want to look at me again but I rather have you hating me than seeing you or the baby in danger.”

“Ke, I...” You don't know what to say, and you curse yourself for calling him that.

“The only thing I need to know, if you have any affection for me, even if it's as small as a speck of dust... Please... Is there any chance we could... Somehow make this–”

“I don't know.” Cutting him off, you feel a tear rolling down, so you look away. The hurt in his voice breaks your heart, and you want to hug him, kiss him. “I don't know. I-I'm here, and I don't know what to do next... I have feelings for you but I'm still heartbroken. I don't know when I'll be able to... Look at you as I did before. You're not my husband, and I'm not Mrs. Reeves.”

“And Liam is not my son, I know that.” With a heavy sigh, he gets up, making his way to the door.

But you won't let him go, not until he hears it. Not until he hears the truth. Now, more than ever, the truth is a sacred thing, and you will speak it, it doesn't matter how you feel about it. The truth is above that. “You may not be his biological father, but I'll let you be his father.” You raise your voice just a little for him to stop, but not enough to bother Liam. “He grew up inside me listening to your voice, feeling your presence, if that's even possible, and influenced by all the love I have for you. And I won't take that away from Liam, I know he loves you.” It's pretty clear that the baby knows Keanu. He feels good when held by him, and when for some reason the morning walks can't happen, Liam cries his heart out, only to be put to rest if Keanu takes a fake walk with him through the house. “If you love him... It doesn't matter what will be of us, I want you to be around Liam.”

His eyes are intense, full of sadness, confusion, and things you can't understand. “I do. I love this baby and I love you.”

“Then will you let us stay? Until... I don't know. Until somehow we figure this out. Because even if I move out, I won't be far.” You're trying not to cry, at least not in front of him. You don't know what will happen next, or when, but you're happy to know you'll be here today, and tomorrow, and the day after. Then... You'll see.

“(Y/N), you can stay here for as long as you want. This is... Your house too, even though you don't feel like it anymore.”

Nodding, you look down at Liam again, who already stopped sucking and has fallen asleep again. “He's out.”

“Do you want me to put him back in his crib?” He reluctantly offers. Keanu is back at the very beginning of this. Distant, trying not to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Yes, please.” Slowly, you pull him off your breast, quickly covering yourself before giving him to Keanu. You watch as the mountain of a man delicately puts Liam down, fixing the blankets around him before walking away.

“Good night, beautiful.” He says, immediately stopping by the door and looking at you. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you–”

“Good night, Ke.” You mutter, turning on your side and closing your eyes shut again.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[blackleopardgirl]

Alana Melissa on the racism of fat activists. 

Alana Melissa on youtube made a great video about how fat activists are racist. she made a video about how predominately the HAES movement, and the fat liberation movement pushes black women, nonwhite women, trans people, and other actual marginalized people to the forefront of their movement while in reality; the voices of the movement that are the loudest are fat white women that don't want to exercise. black people are impacted the most by obesity.

if they cared about black people and our health, they would push for better foods in our neighborhoods, and more accessible grocery stores in predominately black neighborhoods and nonwhite peoples' neighborhoods. they would push more so for people to exercise regularly more, and to push for a more well-balanced diet, and physical activity.

to act as though, being healthy is being 600 pounds, and being an 'infinifat' (morbidly obese person). coming up with 'set point' weights, which is the fake belief that your body will ALWAYS come back to that original weight. ?? shame. to always blame the medical industry, and say that doctors and medical health professionals are out to 'eradicate' fat people is sick. all because you don't want to move, and regulate what you're eating. Do you want the 'right' to eat whatever you want and not have people in the general public shaming you? this is why we don't consider this a REAL social justice movement and group. because you're not really advocating for anything serious. if your complaints are that you can't wear American eagle jeans at the malls with your friends who are smaller than you; that is not oppression. stop saying that it is.

they'll talk about how diets fail, and 98 percent of diets fail, or whatever the percentage is. fad diets fail, and quick diets fail. actual lifestyle changes, eating in moderation, and daily exercise, will not fail a person that keeps up with it. it will not fail a person with an ACTUAL positive community around them, rallying around them. supporting them towards a more healthy lifestyle.

these fat white women will talk about how they're going against 'beauty standards' but they'll go along with every other beauty standard. except moving regularly and eating a better, more well-balanced diet of food. if those white women LOST THE WEIGHT, they would be the standard of beauty. that's what's so nuts is! these beauty standards that they rave against they are 98 percent already align with. losing the weight would just make them 100 perent apart of the stanards. they're already white, will have like blonde hair, straight hair, green and blue eyes, and european features. they shave their body hair and so on. they just wanted to create a movement so they wouldnt feel so bad about themselves by themselves. theyre jealous of the thin white girls because they know that they COULD be that, but could never lose the weight completly. and that shows up in their tik toks. it's ridiculous that they bring anybody else into their bullshit.

[thedancingcrab]

This week marks mental health awareness week. I don't know how much a social media post really does.. Maybe nothing at all. But I'd like to start this off in saying that I've become a lot more confident in my body since I let myself gain weight instead of holding onto the idea that I should always be slim to be considered attractive. And let me tell you why.

This past year and probably years and years before that I've had to put so much time and energy into healing. It's been one of the most exhausting processes but also so rewarding at the same time. Because I can tell you this whole heartedly. I now like myself. No. I love myself. I love everything that I am and what I've become. But this wasn't an overnight process. It's been painful, I've had to confront a lot of my wrong doings, mistakes and negative thoughts about myself to get to where I am now. I had to find hobbies. I had to pour my energy into other things than myself. Because honestly. When you die, no one's gonna think about how beautiful you were. They might say it, but they will focus on how you were beautiful in other ways. Maybe how you lit up the room with your smile. How you were so positive and how much they miss your energy.

A hobby I've found in this past year is cycling and going hiking and it's done wonders for my mental health. Because I started worrying less about what my body looks like and more what it can actually do for me. I have legs that allow me to walk up mountains. Not everyone is that lucky. I live somewhere where I get to see some of the most beautiful sights in the world (Wales isn't a shithole trust me there really is incredible places). We hardly ever criticise how nature looks so why do we do it to ourselves? Another thing I've noticed as well is that the only person who really says bad things about my appearance..is me. Nobody really cares. People are so focused on themselves and what they're doing. I used to get told I was ugly in school all the time. Even by girls who were supposed to be my friends. But I refuse to carry the weight of those opinions with me around anymore. Maybe I didn't look the best in school, but it wasn't my focus. I was quirky and I owned that. But I didnt have the self awareness back then that I do now. And the weight of those opinions got on top of me so much, until they became a problem and I found myself with an eating disorder and I stopped eating and increasing the amount of makeup I wore cause I thought that was what happiness felt like. Skinny, glamorous. It didn't get any better.

I convinced myself I was happy whilst I ate sugar free jelly and low calorie ice cream. But it was hell and I'm so glad I know what real ice cream tastes like now. As for my face, it's nice to let it breathe every now and then as well. I'm beautiful with no makeup on and I'm beautiful if I want to wear it. But I don't always feel that way. I still have bad days and there's still that voice somewhere that tells me I'm out of shape and should maybe increase my exercise and eat a bit better. It will probably always be there. When you've struggled with your body perception for years I'm not sure it ever quite goes away. But I also recognise when those thoughts come up now and it's easier to flick them away. Cause I know there is so much more to me than how I look and I get so sad when others don't have that awareness too cause I've been there and I know what it's like to have your appearance consume your mind day in and day out. I think all the women I've compared myself to over the years are dealing with the same thing. Maybe when I was comparing myself to the girl that had the body type I wanted and the face I'd love to have she was also dealing with the same battles of her own. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the previous version of ourselves and how much we've grown or will continue to grow. We don't know what others are dealing with at the end of the day. And just because someone looks like you want to look doesn't mean they're better than you in any way shape or form. You don't need to be pretty like somebody else you need to be pretty like you. Cause nothing compares to that. If there's anyone else that I know who is still battling with what feels like a never ending hell of not loving yourself.. Here's some tips I've learned along the way that really help me.

- Try to stop mirror checking. I say try, because I still do now and it's a work in progress. When you find yourself doing it, create some distractions. Think about other things you have to do. I guarantee your washing basket needs sorting out right now. I can guarantee something in your room or anywhere else needs tidying and fixing. Go and sort it. We can't change our bodies in an instant, but we can sort out those mundane tasks we keep putting off and it's way more fulfilling when you do one of those tasks. Trust me I have plenty...

- The next time you go outside, look around at people. Is anyone really focusing on you? Probably not. They're probably focused on themselves. Or their dog if they're out walking them (I'm also trying to focus less on myself and the cute dogs I get to see when I'm out). Another thing.. Acknowledge what you're doing in that moment. We get to use our legs, our legs are allowing us to walk and see daylight. Not everyone is that lucky as I mentioned before. Okay maybe my legs weren't as skinny as they used to be but seriously who cares. There are so many other things I can be focusing on right now and you can too.

- Again another work in progress but seriously I'm working on it and it's getting better. When people compliment you, stop trying to find reasons on why they're wrong. Because if they turned around one day and told you everything you say to yourself on a daily basis it would break your heart. Trust me it would. But the people who love you don't think those things and they never will. Because if you asked them what they like about you the most your appearance won't be one of them. Maybe your partner will say something jokey and sweet about it. But trust me, it's not what they love about you the most. Other things are far more important. And they probably love you because you make their life so much more bearable in some form. We all have our own problems. Think about how much you add to that person's life when they're facing struggles of their own. I guarantee, you will be able to find at least one thing.

- No food is a bad food. We can all have too much of something but that goes for every kind of food. And exercise is amazing for our mental health but it doesn't mean we have to over indulge in it just because we ate 'bad' for a few days and now we feel guilty. Be kind to yourself in those moments. Once again it's another work in progress for me too. I pretty much eat whatever I want when I want now. But there's still that voice in my head. They're a bit annoying at this point I don't know whether I should give her a name.. Maybe Ursula cause she was my least favourite Disney villian. Ursula just needs to piss off sometimes. I went through years of restricting myself and I don't wanna do it anymore.

- Let people take pictures of you. I know. Its terrifying. I still hate it now. But one day all people will have of you is a memory and that picture you hate of yourself so much might be their favourite. In this day and age all we ever get exposed to is picture perfect filtered people who probably shaved off half of their thigh with some editing programme like face tune or whatever it's called. Then someone takes a normal picture of us and we zoom in on it and start criticising ourselves from our face all the way down to our toes. We start asking people to put a filter on us before they take the picture because anything is better than being confronted with our real selves. I just don't wanna live in a world like that anymore. I'm still guilty of doing it myself from time to time, but the less people do it the better. I'd love to start being more of an advocate for that.

When you put your phone down and get into the real world and it's something I've started making more of a cautious effort to do lately, everyone just looks normal!! Everyone has textured skin, everyone's got pores, people have oil, people have spots, people have dry skin. Maybe some are better at hiding it than others. But it's just skin. Thats literally it. Social media has warped our brains into thinking we're not good enough cause we don't look like the person who's completely cellulite, pore and acne free in their gym gear living their best life. But in all honesty, they probably don't look like that either. I'm not saying people can't, but the tiniest bit of editing can go into a photo and we think it's realistic. And they're probably insecure about something as well. Don't compare yourself to images that aren't real life. I know it's hard. Once again I still do it myself. But we can make a cautious effort to realise when we're doing these things and implement little changes on how to stop.

If you got this far and read all of this, then thank you. It means the world. I hope I was able to maybe get you to think about life in a different way and maybe.. Just maybe more positively. If not then thank you for reading anyway! I hope we can all stop being so unkind to ourselves one day. 💚

[neo-culture-mafia]

그림자

last chapter

"'sup bitches." Hyuck called, walking in the front door with groceries in hand.

"Duckie, I have told you 9 separate times to not greet like that." I spun around in the swivel chair, "it's rude." I reasoned and he took his sunglasses off his face, holding them in the same hand as his motorcycle keys. "Whoops?...I guess." He chuckled, strutting over to where I sat at the living room desk.

I turned back around to look at the paperwork spanning across the wood surface. "What's this, sunflower?" He asked grabbing the first paper he could grab. He flicked his brown curls from his vision to have a good look at what was taking place in black ink.

"Money flipping?" He asked me, with a cocked eyebrow and an unamused look. "Yep. Just for a little while," I winked and snatched the paper back. I sighed, setting it back down on the desk, "just until we have enough for an apartment in the city."

He groaned and walked down the hall to the kitchen. "We have everything we need here." He called as I knew he was emptying the contents of the grocery bags into the respectful places they belonged.

I leaned my arm on the desk, laying my head in my hand and staring at the Polaroids above the desk. Some were of us: me, Mark and Hyuck, and some of the rest of the boys...now just a distant memory is what they felt like.

483 days...483 days since we last saw each other. On that damn night. That dreadful night that me and Mark were turned away and shunned like we were dogs.

Then we traveled back to Seoul to find Duckie. After he was missing for 3 weeks, I ran into him by chance in an alley. We actually had gotten in a first fight till his hood fell back and I was met with the melanin enriched skin that made my eyes weep.

I told him to leave, go back, that he was welcomed there. But, he didn't want to leave me or Mark. We lived in the shit shack eating nothing but crackers and water for a couple months, sometimes we opted for sleep as our daily meal.

Until Mark came home with money. He had gotten that damn tunnel door open by the grace of a higher-being: filled with cash to the brim.

Us 3 bought a 2 bedroom farm house in the somewhat country where we were best friends with our retired neighbors; their thoughts and whispers of us being in a 3-way relationship being the talk of the small farming town. We didn't care. We knew what we were doing here and what we needed to do in the future.

"Oh honey. I'm home." Donghyuck called through the house and a door opened to a wet Mark who was towel drying his hair in nothing but sweatpants. "Did you get me the stuff?" He asked all serious, and I looked down the dim hallway to see Mark's blonde hair being tossled by his towel.

Hyuck gave him a flat face, a hand on his hip and another holding him up on the counter. "Yes, Mark. I got you your 'stuff'." He rolled his eyes, going away and returning with a big ass watermelon.

"Yesss," Mark took it and automatically held it to his ear, knocking on it like it was a heavy wood door. "you picked a good one." Mark looked lovingly at the fruit in his arms as if it was a child.

I laughed as I looked at my wacky friend. "Why can't you be obsessed with something usual. Like beer, or poker."

The curly headed boy asked as he walked back down the hall towards me. Taking his thick jacket off and throwing it over the arm of the couch; sitting down he unlaced and unzipped his boots, throwing them by the door.

You watched the conversation play out like a terrible teen-sitcom. "Cause I'd rather die by watermelon overdose than alcohol intoxication-" Mark was cut off as he walked slowly to the front room where Hyuck and I sat. "Yeah yeah yeah. Too many big words for this early in the morning." Hyuck put his arm over his eyes and laid back.

Mark looked at me and we both looked at the clock. "Sweetie, its 3 in the afternoon." I giggled and he whined. "It's so early." He said and stood up.

"I'm getting changed and I'm gonna chill." He said looking at Mark who still clutched his watermelon to his bare chest, damp towel thrown over his shoulder.

"And?" Mark asked. "Why do I care?" He asked and the younger boy just shrugged. "Also...your night for dinner." Mark reminded him and Hyuck whined louder, running down the hall and smacking into our bedroom door.

"Donghyuck!" I jumped up, wanting to check if he was okay. He just kept on whining as he opened our door and went in, closing it.

You could still hear his shrieks as he was probably running around getting changed into comfier clothes.

"Then there were two." Mark sighed as he set his watermelon on the kitchen window, and plopping onto the long couch on the opposite side of the living room.

"I need to redo your hair soon." I said getting up and laying on the ground next to his couch. "I might let it grow up to a ponytail." I sat up quickly. "Uh. No you're not." My voice was harsh and he laughed.

"Girl you need to chill. I was joking." He chuckled, stretching and yawning.

Something that Jaemin used to say to me atleast once an hour. My smile faltered and I became more solemn.

"Do you miss them?" I asked and he just stared at me for a moment. "Who?" Was all he said and I knew that he knew exactly who he was talking about but it still hurt a little bit.

"Your boys." I said and a faint smile was broadcasted over his facial features as he stared into what seemed like distant space but was really just the dark TV.

"Of course." He exasperated and he looked back at my face who was just searching for reassurance that this path was the right one to take.

"But I am so thankful for the two of you, right here, right now." He smiled and my heart was put at ease.

"Alright I'm back. I sensed you guys missed me so I returned. Just for you guys!" Hyuck said as he sat down next to me and leaned back on his arms for support. "Oh yeah. 'Cause we were literally dying without your presence." I said sarcastically and he shrugged.

"Exactly. That's what I just said." He said as serious as possible and me and Mark laughed. "Oh you think you're so funny." Donghyuck said picking me up and pulling me on his lap, his hands reaching for my sides and tickling.

My shrieks and laughs radiated through the house as Mark watched on in admiration. He felt blessed that he made it this far. He also never failed to tell us atleast once a week. We were all each other's life and support systems.

Once hyuck stopped his evil act, I just laid there across his lap trying to resteady my breath.

"What's for dinner?" I looked up at him and he shrugged. "I haven't really looked to be completely honest." He said yawning.

"Well let's go see and then we can make it, eat, clean, and then chill for a while." I said getting up and putting my hand out for him to take.

He groaned but obliged at my request.

He was in some shorts and a basic hoodie. The scarring on his legs reminding us all of a dark period. A painful time that sometimes still follows us.

I have a scar on my back from that night. I don't remember anything of the tunnels but the burning pain in my calves, wanting to stop sprinting through the dark and lonely concrete jungle.

Him and I stood infront of the cupboards in silence.

I suddenly felt so tired and out of it. Like a heavy weight was on my chest and it wouldn't budge.

"Oooo. Spaghetti." He said stretching and reaching the noodles and sauce on the top shelf. I shrugged as he looked at me for my reaction to his suggestion.

"You okay?" He asked and I could only shrug and try to give a convincing smile.

"Yeah. Just thinking about stuff." I shrugged once more and he understood.

"Can you help me with dinner?" He asked and of course I agreed, wanting to get my mind off the looming darkness in the corners of the house.

"Alright. We need 2 pots and then you can figure out some sides we can have with it." He said and I was already grabbing the 2 pots.

I set them on the stove top and he began doing his own thing. I rummaged through the cabinets and fridge before feasting my eyes on what seemed like the perfect pairing.

"Salad?"

~~~~~~~~~

Trying to sleep that night was rough. It was just tough and not even the usual cuddly nature of the sleeping Hyuck next to me could lull me into dream land.

The dark feeling still followed me through dinner and to bed.

I tried staring at the wall but even then the small cracks started freaking me out. I turned towards Hyuck who's curly dark hair framed his face perfectly.

Don't get us wrong. We're not a thing. We're just close. Once we found each other again he has stuck to my side in hopes of fulfilling what he thought he didn't in the first place- protection.

I don't mind. We've always been close and now we've just gotten closer. Was sharing a bedroom in our plans?...no...but we didn't want to put up with Mark and his farting so he was blessed with having his own room.

We're just making do with what we have.

My finger lightly traced shapes on his arm tattoos, trying to pass time and get myself to sleep.

I groaned and his eyes opened. "What's wrong?" He asked looking at the alarm clock on the bedside table.

3:29 AM

He turned back to make sure I was okay. He sat up on his arm and just looked at me for a moment. "Are you hurt?" Was all he asked and I shook my head no. I wouldn't know how to explain the hurt I was feeling anyway.

"I just need water." I said getting up and crawling to the end of the bed. "Be back in 5 minutes please." He said grabbing his phone. I mumbled my recognition and opened our door.

I strided down the hall and grabbed a water bottle. I walked into the hall where the corridor meets living room. Hyuck's phone lit one end of the hall in our bedroom while the other was illuminated by the moon light.

1 sip.

I breathed and looked out the front window at the old couples house across from ours.

2 sips.

I can hear my heart beat as I try to drown it out with gulps of water.

3 sips.

I have a sudden urge to sprint up and down our street to try and rid the shakiness of my body.

4 sips.

I'm not even cold but my anxiety makes my bones sound like wooden spoons and my body go cold with shivers.

And that's when I see it.

The shadow.

It moved on the front porch.

"I'm going crazy." I spoke in a monotone.

"What?" I heard Hyuck call out, now sitting up in the bed.

The shadow came closer to the door, an arm raised, as if it was going to bash in the glass.

"That's not real." I said louder, my water bottle now dropped from my cold hand.

I heard a thud and a swear along with an opening door.

"Mark. Up, now." And a pair of feet come closer down the dark hallway.

The shadow just seemed frozen now as Hyuck stood right by me.

"What is that?" He muttered and Mark now was coming closer, trying to see tiredly through his glasses.

The arm went back and forth a couple of times. "Hyuck go get your gun." Mark said lowly but I wanted to fight this thing head on.

I walked straight to the door before any of their hands could grab me. I threw the door open as my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest.

I was met with bleached blonde hair, a blood splattered face, a cold stare, and a muscly build that held ink and a face of an old someone I used to know.

"Jeno?" I choked out, wanting to vomit as my body went numb from shock. This wasn't real. I was dreaming. This wasn't happening.

I held my hands out towards his face, moving ever so slowly until his own hands held my own.

The boys behind me became silent as I knew one of them held a gun, still on edge for this too good to be true situation.

I threw myself at him and just held onto his muscular frame. His arms held me tight in a grip that I used to miss.

The metallic smell on him made my nose scrunch up in disgust but I was just too wrapped into the moment to care.

My body was yanked back forcefully and I was thrown back into the living room at the feet of a shell shocked Mark who could nothing but stare forward.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I thought Donghyuck was losing it as he cocked his gun and held it at the face of his once brother.

"Duckie what are you doing?" I asked getting up and grabbing at his arm.

Jeno just did nothing but stare down the metal barrel in front of his face, his hands being raised next to his head.

"I did a sweep of the surrounding place and it's sketc-" another body came walking up our porch.

The tall boy still seemed lanky but had glasses this time. His hair was now a lighter brown and it seemed like he had grown another 4 inches in the span of a year.

"Jisung?" I muttered and he was still met another gun barrel.

This time from Mark who had shoved me back again.

"Please don't shoot." Jisung pleaded, scared setting into his features.

"We need help. Please." Jisung begged but Jeno still held his stare with Hyuck.

"Everyone is gone." Jisung pleaded.

"Please." He whispered, his eyes were threatening to spill.