#gift shopping is so hard!
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I am trying to figure out what to get my bf for his birthday. And I am especially struggling because I feel like he got me something really nice for my birthday (a full purple stone dishware set that is like 135 dollars (I looked it up because I have no impulse control he did not leave the price tag on) which was sweet because I previously only had plastic plates and obviously everything I own needs to be purple). But the only things I can think of for him are like little cheap things. I want to get him something nice but like anything nice that he would enjoy I feel like he’d be better off getting himself. Like he knows more about nice cookware than me so I feel like I have no way to pick out something that he’d like and use. And than anything with clothes feels out because sizing is hard and I don’t understand mens fashion. I thought like maybe a nice a wallet? But he has one that seems fun and idk how to evaluate wallets anyway.
I am knitting him a hat that he’ll hopefully like because he does wear that style beanie while hiking and camping sometimes.
And then I am thinking of getting him the conjuring 2 dvd because we watched the first one together and the second is available for streaming. And I keep protesting that it’s too scary for me ( I would not watch it single but it’d be fine for his birthday)
And then I was thinking maybe some sort of Japanese cookbook since he likes to cook and is currently obsessed with japan since we’re going in three weeks. There’s a cookbook by jiro ono on sushi that we watched his documentary together, but I’m not sure if he’s already read it. And then there’s a studio ghibli book that would be cute since we watched a lot of the movies together and will probably go to museum in Japan. But I’m not sure how much he really likes them, or if it’s more he likes them fine and it’s the narrow overlap of movies we both like.
And even then it’s like I’m getting him a bunch of little things and it feels like I’m being cheap but I also just can’t think of anything better. He likes cooking and outdoor things and horror movies and currently Japan but generally all things Asian. He likes good art and books but none of those interests making for easy shopping ideas! He seem doesn’t have any horror based decor so I probably can’t even go that route
I also need to get my mom a birthday present but she is much less stressful to shop for. (I don’t know what to get her either but there’s zero danger of even worlds worst present damaging my relationship with my mom even the slightest)
#gift shopping is so hard!#even all the possible presents I’ve thought are like 70 bucks counting yarn#but I have no ideas#and it feels both like not enough and too much#he’s definitely getting the hat#and probably the cheap dvd#but what to go with it??#his birthday isn’t even until November#but he leaves on the 28th so I want to have at least most of it by then#and I am probably overthinking this because he’s said birthdays aren’t a big deal to him#but they are to me soooo#here we are#I will also try and take him out for dinner for his birthday#but that’s the easier part
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🖤💔BEST 🖤 ENEMIES 💔🖤
#furry#anthro#verse: amaranthine#my ocs#hyden#others' ocs#ambroys#...turns out it is also hard to draw when on vacation#particularly with normies who would have a negative reaction to furry stuff#but I could not resist doodling something inspired by unicorn-shaped BEST FRIENDS necklaces at a gift shop#Hyden is like a homestuck elf where he finds having an enemy or rival to be very fulfilling and fun and just as good as a friend#(as long as he feels like he has the upper hand of course)#Ambroys... not so much
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Some super messy doodles of @frayedcircus’s monster falls interpretation
I hc that Mabel uses her spider silk to knit, but before she realized she could make silk, Mabel would shave Dipper for wool. Poor boy.
Sheep legs were just not working for me today, so dipper looks a little funky in every picture. If anyone’s wondering why there’s a bug burger there, it’s because I wanted to draw their diets, and while trying to find an appetizing bug meal for Mabel on google images, I found this
Also a close up of my bug burger bc I’m actually really proud of it
This thing took FOREVER
#monster falls#gravity falls au#gravity falls#my art#my posts#UUUGGGHHH ITS SO HARD TO FIND POSES FOR THREE STES OF ARMS#I just tried to fill it with knitting needles when I could#that says shears btw#the arrows pointing to Mabel’s hands#I really want her to hang in her webs like spider man#I wonder if Stan would make them produce material for the gift shop#“sparkly spider silk#what color is dipper’s hair like this?#I want him to be paler to be more sheep like#but I don’t want to make him have the same hair color as Gideon#I’m thinking it would be a cream color#that burger looks sooo crunchy#tw bugs#tw insects
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my stand in ep 4 thoughts, feelings, etc
WOW WA WE WAA THAT SURE WAS AN EPISODE HUH - happy to report i went back through the episode slowly this week and took notes and really tried to gather everything i wanted to say (but i will inevitably forget something)
🌸 ok disclaimers because i have a lot of them for this particular episode 🌸
i'm just a silly guy on the internet, i'm not an expert in mental health, psychology, body language, whatever. most days i can't even take care of myself. i'm just saying things recreationally.
PLEASE do not put novel spoilers in my replies, reblogs, or tags without a warning notice. i've got an itchy blocking finger for it these days.
i am treating ming and joe and everyone involved in this show as if they were real life human beings. ming was not born some mustache twirling villain sent from hell to make joe miserable. joe is not some pure angel descended from the clouds to do no wrong. everyone in this show exhibits very human behavior and that can be distressing under certain circumstances. i'm just going to comment on them as humans. i'm not interested in a round table discussion on why a character is irredeemable, the scum of the earth, etc. i'm just putting my thoughts out there and you can take them or leave them.
🌸 alright yucky disclaimer time over 🌸
the episode really just picks us back up where everything left off - and yet joe still made ming breakfast, and ming isn't stupid (well right now at least,) he knows something is off.
i am confused why tong needs to get married on this specific day. and like bro how fast are you getting married? relax. the whole thing is just unstoppable force (trajectory of this producers career) meets immovable object (tong's fuckass stubbornness) and the collateral damage is massive.
and then there's the question of did joe ever want to play a lead? or did he let his impulsiveness and hurt put a target on his back? (only emphasized by the fact that everyone assumed joe would turn down the role)
i DO apologize for all my doubt surrounding wut. he, ja, and may are the only people in this show with any god damn sense. maybe jojo and yim. we'll see.
getting into the confrontation at joe's work, i really don't think it's that surprising when we keep in mind ming genuinely has no fucking clue what is going on. all he knows is joe woke up, was acting weird, didn't come home, and then told him to pack up his shit and leave with ZERO explanation. like, joe's completely in the right, but i'd also be confused as fuck. (i wouldn't go to someone's work about it but, y'know, we know ming acts in extremes.)
and to me this is where it really became obvious that joe has always been able to overpower ming, to get away from him, as we have seen joe's physical prowess, we've seen what he's capable of, but he never uses his body to move ming away from him - that's not who joe is, he's not someone that would put his hands on another person like that. it's just another way ming and joe are the direct antithesis of each other.
it's my thought that the argument escalates because ming is used to getting everything he wants - except for tong, and now joe. when joe begins to push him away and deny him his substitution for tong i think ming lashes out in his hurt with a thought of "it's happening again, why doesn't anyone want me?"
i will say while i do believe sol has good intentions for the most part his white knighting is getting a little irksome. while convenient, it just shows how much he's still hovering and laying in wait for a chance with joe - he, too, is not respecting joe's wishes. no is a complete sentence, sol.
and then things continue back at home and joe finally, finally throws ming's words back at him: if i'm so terrible to be with, if you're so great, why are you wasting your time with me?
and ming doesn't have an answer. what ming DOES have is another back embrace, arms wrapped around joe as he asks "don't you love me anymore?" but is he asking joe or tong?
"although i'm not as good as tong" even now joe's rampant self worth issues are still at play but at least he finally knows he's worth more than whatever this is.
then the phone rings and to me, ming looks skittish. he looks shaken. he's never seen joe so angry and he's scared and as the call progresses that fear morphs into rage when sol calls joe. and the thing is, regardless of who played the main role, ming was never going to be happy. it was either going to be joe or tong playing opposite sol and neither of those things would have been acceptable.
and then i said, out loud, in my quiet office: OH! and promptly lost my shit in the group chat.
ming doesn't look wholly present after his act of violence. his face is vacant, like he isn't completely seeing or grasping what he's just done. i get the impression that ming isn't mentally well; stress and fear and anger have a way of making people do really fucking stupid things and as these things happen you risk falling into the sunk cost fallacy - you've already gone this far, you can't stop now - which all aligns with the obsessive behavior we've seen from ming in the past.
as joe wakes up and they talk once again joe doesn't blame ming, he blames himself for not seeing the writing on the walls even though it was written in invisible ink.
"all these times we were together did you ever love me?"
"you can't tell?"
again, so much of the blame and emotional responsibility of their situationship is put on joe and ming refuses to communicate any of his feelings, perhaps because he doesn't know how to after repressing everything for so long.
WE DIDN'T GET HOT KINKY CHAINED UP SEX THOUGH, WHY DOES GOD HATE ME SPECIFICALLY
but the way joe looks at ming as they linger there in the wake of joe's request looks like a goodbye, the way his eyes soak in every detail of ming's face. despite all of this and the nightmare it has turned into he did love ming, perhaps still does, and he does have some of those good memories he was so desperate to keep.
though like.. joe.... maybe we could consider a different career path??? instead of just jumping to risking our lives? like sure food service sucks, cashiering sucks, etc. but you aren't in danger of falling off any cliffs, you know? and let's be real, he could just go into modeling with those looks.
it's my impression that when ming calls joe he looks haggard, like he's lost numerous nights of sleep (and we really don't know how much time has passed) but either way it does seem like he's at least done some amount of reflecting. his voice comes across soft, subdued, and sincere.
and after everything, back in the present, we see ming. he's still in the apartment, desperately calling joe's name all these years later, still unable to sleep and waiting for joe to come home just like he asked him to years ago.
maybe ming never wanted to enter the entertainment industry before, but he has now. perhaps it was never for the attention or the money, maybe he chose to promote those watches because it was a reminder of the gift from joe. and maybe this job, in this specific industry, is the closest he can feel to joe now. and maybe with new influence and connections ming can find out why he was never able to tell joe he loved him before he lost him.
WHO KNOWS, NOT ME, CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT THO
#oat meta#my stand in#my stand in the series#usersasa#clairedaring#i can never find a good place to mention it but in like ep 1 ming knows how joe takes his coffee#after just like 1 day with him so like ming IS paying attention and DOES care for joe#as we see reinforced with his little gifts and the way he went shopping with him and stuff#the things ming does to show his love and care are very blink and you'll miss it#and it's hard for me to squeeze in my thoughts on that between everything else going on
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I'm sorry for the OC brain rot on main....
(the lines are from a post about "tag yourself: awkward/unflirty Sims edition" and honestly? all my OCs are awkward/unflirty so ... yeah...)
#my characters#they (my OCs in general) are not mine if they don't pine and fail at romance#and the fact one of the options WAS actually ask an inappropriate question??? deacon coded if there was ever something deacon coded#i have so many stupid ideas for ymber having the worst comments that he THINKS would be flattering in his head and then he hears it out lou#and is like oh no that was awful im going to be abandoned for that and i deserve it oh wow dang that was so bad#both of them are trying so hard to be supportive and learn about the other and somehow its working?#no one else knows HOW it works but ok buddy#like i saw a mug in a coffee shop that i DESPERATELY want to draw in the modern au i have#with Oh handing it to Ymber saying AH HA found a mug I can gift Deacon the next time you fuck up with talking to him#and then doesn't buy it but is thinking about it and then later that day Ymber says something v blunt and non flattering#and Oh just ARE YOU KIDDING ME I DONT HAVE DEACONS GIFT BC YOU SAID YOUD TRY HARDER AT THIS#the mug in question said#congrats on your breakup we hated him#and there were sparkles around breakup#and it was so funny to me i just .... thinking about how much Oh would love to give it to deacon as a sorry my friend is so bad at this#i really wanna draw more of the sims fail options with the others in the plot but hey i can post it on my side blog and spare you all here#i was thinking about a fanart idea earlier this morning and completely forgot it by the time i sat down to draw#gomen gomen i was gonna try to not do ocs on main but.... alas....
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All the companies should step it up and make products that are worthy of my best friend
#christmas shopping HARD#having so much trouble this year ughhh#been looking for like a month and still can’t figure out what to get them😪#what a mess smh#all my gift purchasing outside of theirs is done too#like ☹️☹️☹️#that’s the MOST important one☹️☹️
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i bought my grandma a few packs of smokes for xmas and i feel like thats something eddy would do lmao
#like esp if we go with the zinnia wormwood aesthetic for his mom#he just gets her a carton of virginia slims and puts a bow on it#its hard to shop for my grandma cuz she's very stoic and doesn't do much these days except watch b movies on tubi and yell at her dogs#and smoke pall mall blue 100s#i was brainstorming ideas and it hit me like a ton of bricks “bro just get her some cigs” 🤯#i felt guilty but i mean she's 73 and she's not gonna be quitting any time soon soooo#as nic fiend i get can empathize#i got her other stuff too lmao im making her a little gift bag but yeah#i love giving gifts its like my favorite thing ever 😭 i know capitalism is the root of all evil but i gotta flex my gift giving skills#its so fun#if i had MONEY money obviously i'd buy something more extravagant but....#next year when im making trucker money (hopefully)? watch out
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Every year, I make straightforward lists of the books I want, and every year, multiple family members tell me I'm too hard to shop for because "I'm not just gonna buy you BOOKS." 😭
#i just want to fulfill my lifelong dream of abandoning reality at every turn in favor of fiction#is that too much to ask?#i mean in the end i got gift cards which will be USED for books so i still win#but i make it so easy for you! what do you mean i'm hard to shop for??#i like the same things i've liked my whole life! books! physical media! art supplies! comfy hoodies! nerdy figures!#bewildering#i do love my sibling secret santa cuz it's just turned into#'what silly art thing can we make for one another?'#me: drawing my sister-in-law a bobs-burgers-themed family portrait#my brother: hand-painting pokemon on a bowl for me#my SIL: hand-painting possums on tea towels for my wife#my wife: painting a realistic goose for my sibling's wall#just aces all around. we love to see it. homemade gifts are so cool
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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gave boyfriend a christmas present early (a beautiful ceramic ashtray made by a girl i know) bc i didn’t realize living together makes keeping presents secret 1000% harder
and tonight he told me that when he came home this afternoon he just stopped and admired it on the coffee table because he loves it and thinks it’s so cool 🙂↕️
#he is so hard to shop for sometimes#his main present is just something i straight up asked him ‘would this be a good christmas gift for you’#so to go and buy him something on a whim and have it be perfect#is very fun for me
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I always go through phases around my birthday and holidays where I feel very unloved and unseen by family and it fucking hurts
#thinking about the gifts that someone in my family got me this year#while I opened them she complained I’m hard to shop for while getting me things I don’t like or will use but I sent her a list#idk this person is also someone I have recently tried to reconnect with and it makes me think what’s the point#she didn’t see or listen to me then nothing changed now#even my birthday which was a few weeks ago#I always ask for one thing an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen#my entire birthday was hijacked by her and what she wanted for me to do#I don’t like my birthday to begin with but it just reminded me how my birthday will never be about me so I should get over it
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apparently twitter is fightng about whether or not alpharad is Literally Rich Like Actually 1% "Eat The Rich" Rich because of his last vlog and people are mad that he was nice to his friends and think he's just bragging about having a lot of money because they didnt care enough to watch the video and only went by the title and thumbnail
anyways have i told you how much i love alpharad that guy is awesome
#man i've been here since 90k subs i've watched him go from nothing to THIS#you guys think he just got algorithm'd to fame and doesnt deserve it?? IT TOOK HIM A DECADE#ONE VACATION AND BUYING HIS FRIENDS GIFTS DOES NOT EQUATE TO SWEAT SHOP LABOR LEVELS OF CAPITALIST EXPLOITATION#YOU'RE ALL BRAIN DEAD I HOPE ELON KILLS YOU ALL 😭#man takes his first vacation in 10 years and says he's finally happy after working so hard to fight off depeession#only for everyone to complain that he's having fun and enjoying life#''you cant be happy because im not happy!! that's not fair!!!''#chat#sorry had to complain somewhere without a word count. simply had too much to say and priv wont cut it jhdkfh#if he ever restocks some of the graffiti designs i'm throwing him another $60 💖
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My dirty secret is we actually DO celebrate Christmas in my family. I'm Jewish, but I come from a mixed household so yeah. But that's part of what makes me hate it so much. Because there's SO MUCH emphasis on family, and that's all anyone talks about, and my family is... you know, not really in my life. And I know that's partly my fault because I moved so far away, but my mom, sister, and niece all spent the day together yesterday and my mom posted pictures on Instagram and I'm like. Cool, I did laundry. On Christmas eve my sister suggested we FaceTime on Christmas, and then I didn't hear from her at all (not even a thank you for the gift I sent). And on Christmas my mom was like, "Oh we should FaceTime. Except I'm about to go take a nap so maybe next time."
So I see pictures of people baking cookies and posing in front of the Christmas tree and whatever with their family, and it just makes me feel really shitty about my life. And I know there's people who ~have it worse~ but still. It feels shitty to be left out of all the fun times.
#also my mom bought my sister and niece a 63 inch tv???????#to be fair she sent me a pretty nice chunk of change#but yeah they were so distracted by the tv they forgot about me el oh el#also my sister didn't get me a gift because I'm hard to shop for (I'm not) but she told me she bought her ex-husband something that cost $50#like that asshole abused you and you got him a gift but your little sis doesn't even get a gift card or something?#OR A THANK YOU?????#they're not The Worst but they sure know how to make someone feel unimportant
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Expecting a plentiful haul
#I’m notoriously hard to shop for but recently I’ve been spinning on twisters and my family totally jumped on that#any and all gifts I receive will 100% be twisters themed#the Boone shirt from my birthday did not disappoint so I’m rlly looking forward to it
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when my bill ouija board arrives im gonna take a roadtrip to the nearby definitely-not-a-cult spiritualist town and hire a tv psychic to pretend to talk to a ghost with it
#bill cipher#once again: kind of#google 'spiritualist towns of america' and draw a 'what might be considered nearby' radius on your map to calculate my location now!#ill give you a hint: the town was inaccurately featured in an spn episode#the town is like definitely a cult though#i think its a chill one#the psychics are like REALLY hard to get appointments with. damn uppity mediums.#if i make a tiktok account to post art on ill make sure to chronicle my visit#the one time ive been there it was alright. saw a cute cat. went to the gift shop. failed to meet a psychic.#anyway the disney rep finally texted me to get my address so the ouija board will be shipped imminently OuO#alex hirsch still hasnt texted me back with my grunkle stan recording though 😔 thats ok i forgive him#also unrelated but im fairly certain that i gave myself permanent nerve damage in my hands while working on these projects#my fingertips all tingle slightly all the time now but thats all good#ill give it a week to heal then i carve fords head#fluffle talks
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Rock Candy cuts my mouth up when I eat it, but I want some.
#too bad it's so hard to find#last time i had some was when i went to a cave system#they had lots in the gift shop#the cave was full of crystals#the gift shop also sold fossils and dead bats#shiny rocks and geodes#it's cool#but it's also a 3 hour drive
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