#i got her other stuff too lmao im making her a little gift bag but yeah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

selfcareparker · 4 years ago

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hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

#lovely anon #<3

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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

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Curtains - Part 5

SERIES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Roger x F!Reader

Summery: First two dates, you and Roger move on

Warnings: Smut (18+), dealing with Emotions, smoking, car sex, public sex, oral sex (m receiving), (slightly hesitant) dom!Rog

Words: 6872

A/N: Originally I planned chapter 5 to be the last one but some stuff changed from my original plan and it ended up getting waaaaaaayyyy too long so there’ll be a chapter 6 lmao. The Morris Mini Roger drives in this was a car he actually owned (it’s in the photo and everything)

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely

@bohemiansweede @rogershoe @lnnuend0 @funitrog

You changed your outfit about sixteen times before you settled on the right one. It had actually been the first one you chose – a dress you were sure Roger had never seen you in before – but you’d had to rule out everything else you owned before you could be sure, or rather, before you could feel less anxious about the decision. You were determined to look your best and to make sure he evening was fun, even though the nerves twisting in your stomach made you want to pick up the phone and cancel again. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to go, it was just the pressure of it all. Everything that had happened between you and Roger felt like a lead up to this date. Like a great big drumroll building and building until he knocked on your door. And you couldn’t help feeling like there was a big chance you were going to fuck it up, probably for good. So, one by one you held your clothes up in front of the mirror and one by one you added them to the absolutely not pile, discarding them for reasons big and small – too uncomfortable, too hard to get in to, too much a colour Roger didn’t like. The pile of clothes deemed not good enough had steadily grown larger as you added outfit after outfit – this one was too slutty, this one not slutty enough, and this one was something your mother would have suggested and therefore a definite no. Until eventually you’d been left with the dress you originally pulled out and a sense of satisfaction with your choice. Despite the urge to throw up you felt at the knock on the door, the decision was made even more satisfying when Roger took one look at you and whistled. “You ready to go?” “Yeah just let me grab my bag,” “Not tempted to cancel again?” he winked as he asked so you knew he was joking but it still made you cringe. “Do you start all your first dates trying to make the girl feel as guilty as possible?” “Only the good ones. C’mon,” He took your hand and led you out towards a 60s Morris Mini that was parked on the street between your units. “No van tonight?” “Of course not,” he said as he opened the door for you, “you didn’t think that was my main ride, right?” he closed the door behind you, shooting you a disbelieving look through the windshield as he ran round to his door. “Well it’s the only one I’ve ever seen you in,” “No, this is my baby,” he lovingly tapped the dashboard as he started the engine, “The van I just got to lug around stage equipment. Couldn’t fit a drumkit in here.” “No you could not,” you laughed, taking in the small interior of the car. “Hey, don’t laugh at her. She was a gift from my mum when I moved up here.” “Sorry, just not the car I pictured you in. It’s cute though.” “She is a bit small actually. Very hard to get a girl into the back.” “Might have to ask for proof later,” Roger looked over at you briefly before looking back at the road, “I’m just gonna say this now and get it out of the way so I don’t make this date too awkward later on, but,” he paused and took a deep breath that only made the nerves twist your stomach into knots, “we don’t have to have sex tonight. If you want to take this slow or you want to set some boundaries to start it’s okay, I’d understand.” You smiled at him as he glanced back over again. His thoughtfulness as least helped ease your lingering worries about his sincerity about dating you, “Thank you. But you don’t have to like take a vow of chastity to prove you’re for real or anything.” “Because if you did want to wait, I’d get it,” “Rog, relax. Let’s just see how tonight goes okay? Besides,” you laughed, “sex might make things feel more normal.” “I’m happy to do anything to help make it more normal. If that means sneaking into the restaurant bathroom with you then so be it.” After that you fell into an easy conversation, your nerves almost reduced to those you’d feel on any other first date.

“Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look tonight?” Roger said softly as he pulled your chair out for you. The restaurant was small though by no means empty, other tables holding other dates as well as a family or two. A few of the other people looked familiar, other students you’d seen around campus or the pub, and you quickly realised this was the go-to spot for a fairly cheap date. Nice enough to impress but not enough to break the bank. “I was going to pay you the same complement. I think this might be the first time I’ve seen you in something other than those ratty jeans.” “Oi, don’t hear me insulting your wardrobe. And I wear plenty of other stuff.” “Mmm you do, I must admit I’m a little jealous of your collection. I just have one question, and stop me if this is rude, but how the fuck can you afford so much?” Roger chuckled and, looking around for eavesdroppers, crooked his finger so you’d lean it, “That’s my secret though, love, I can’t,” he sat back in his chair, comfortably relaxed, “They’re all nicked from the stall.” You did your best to ignore the flip your stomach did at the sound of the pet name, “The one you and Freddie run? Kensington, right?” “Did Fred mention it?” “Yeah, th- the night we all hung out in the van he told me about it,” you hoped Roger would ignore your slight stutter at the memory of what had happened after that night, “Said I should drop by if I got the chance.” “You should!” Your conversation was briefly interrupted by the waiter, another familiar face you were sure you’d seen around campus, coming to take your order. “What was I saying?” Roger asked once you’d ordered, “Oh wait I remember! The markets are great fun even if you’re working there. Plus, I’m sure I could find you something to buy off us.” “That desperate for sales you’ll shill to your friends?” “Of course. Easier marks since they care whether we can afford food.” he laughed, “no but you should come. I could take you if you want? As long as you don’t mind being called on to help sell a thing or two.” “Sounds like fun.” “That's settled then, you can come watch me work.” “Second date sorted then?” “Believe me, as fun as the markets are, I would not be taking you there as a second date. For one thing Fred’d be there the whole time and I’m not so keen on a third wheel so early on.”

Your waiter returned with the bottle of wine Roger had ordered and a promise the food would be out shortly. “So, Rog,” you said as he poured you a glass, “Tell me about yourself. Y’know, considering how much time we’ve been together, I don’t really know much more about you than your name.” “What do you want to know?” You paused, unconsciously sucking your bottom lip between your teeth as you pondered the question, “I don’t know. Everything,” “Is that one of your first date moves? The slight lean forward so he can see down your top, the lip bite, the everything?” Roger’s imitation of you fell into laughter. "Do people actually have moves? I’m just curious,” “I’ll take that as a complement then. Where to start though...” There was barely a pause to your conversation. The only disruptions came in the form of your meals arriving, and moments when you both pulled yourself away from talking long enough to remember to take a bite. Otherwise one of you was always in the middle of a thought. He took your words to heart, telling you about his family and his friends and his studies and his band and anything you hadn’t covered in the time you’d already known each other, which was admittedly quite a lot. And it seemed that for every anecdote Roger shared you were called upon to share one of your own, his interest in you equal to yours in his. It was an easier first date than you could have possibly imagined, awkward silences replaced by curious questions, discomfort replaced by familiarity, leaving you both trying to time sips of your drinks for moments when you weren’t likely to spit it out as you fell into another round of laughter.

“So,” Roger said as he led you back out of the restaurant, leaving the waiter to clear away the empty plate from your shared dessert, “be honest, was it as terrible as you thought it would be?” “No,” you said with a huff of sheepish laughter, “I’m happy to say I had a really lovely night. Feel like even more of a knob for the whole cancelling thing but I’m glad I eventually got my shit together.” “Me too. Smoke?” he offered you the pack he’d dug out of his pocket but you waved him off, pushing yourself to sit on the hood of his car as he dug in his pocket for his lighter. He held it long enough to take two drags before you were taking it from his fingers and pulling on it yourself. “Hey, I offered you one,” “I didn’t want a whole one, just a puff or two, here look you can have it back,” he took it off you, stepping between your legs, eyes locked on yours as he put it between his lips again. To your surprise he stubbed it out under his foot as he breathed out the smoke. “What a waste! If you didn’t want it I could’ve taken it,” Roger smiled at you as he leaned in close. You could taste the smoke on his breath as he kissed you, softly, his hands resting on your thighs. “Was that okay?” he was still leaning in close. “Rog,” you said sternly, “stop asking if I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere,” to prove it you placed your arms over his shoulders, pulling him into another kiss, deeper and longer. It seemed to be convincing enough, his hands slipping up until they were on your waist pulling you against him. The skirt of your dress was askew, pushed out of place as his hands rose further up your body, exposing the top of your thigh. Neither of you could bring yourselves to stop for longer than it took to take another breath, hungry for more. Heedless of passersby, on their way to the restaurant or heading back to their cars. Your hands began to wander, sliding back over Roger’s shoulders, deceptively muscular from years of drumming, and down onto his chest. The buttons of his shirt pressed into your palm, daring you to undo them. “Think I’d like to see that backseat now,” you panted against his lips, toying with his top button, able to feel his breath as he sighed. “Told you, backseat’s too small,” “Well you could always come back to mine,”

He drove you home, moving his hand from the gear stick to your thigh whenever he could, and pulled back up in the same spot you’d found the car when you left, opening your door for you once again. There was something oddly domestic about the way Roger took your bag as you fumbled getting the key into the lock, following you inside. It made your chest feel tight, the slightly sick nervous feeling rearing its head again. “Do you want a drink?” you asked, already reaching for your wine glasses. Roger’s seemed distracted as he turned to face you, his gaze pulled away from the doorway to your room, “Uh, think I’ll pass,” “Alright,” you shrugged, putting one glass back “hope you don't mind if I have one anyway,” “Actually, I think I’m going to get going,” The slightly sick feeling only got stronger, “Oh. Okay then,” had you misread the situation? “I had a really great time tonight,” he said as he took your hand, “Just...don’t want to rush anything, y’know?” “Okay. Do you, um, do you wanna go out again?" “How about Thursday night? I’d say earlier but I’ve got a couple late classes and then some sessions with the band.” “Thursday sounds good.” “Cool, I’ll see you then.” He kissed you once more before he left. You could hear his footsteps as he walked the short distance to his front door, while you sat in your quiet kitchen trying to work out what Roger had meant by not rushing anything. Your whole relationship was essentially built on rushing things. The first time you’d spoken he’d had his hand under your skirt and within minutes he’d been in your bed. Now he was worried about it? And talk about mixed signals. Between his comments about the backseat that was practically an invitation to climb on back there and his assurance that you didn’t have to have sex which almost sounded like he was trying to convince you not to, and the way he’d kissed you and kept touching your thigh and then decided to leave, you felt like you had whiplash. It made you feel anxious, going over every moment to try and figure him out as you lay in bed and worried that things would never quite be okay between you.

Luckily you didn’t have much time to dwell on it during the week. Your classes were starting to ramp up towards exams and you found yourself being bombarded with topics to revise in preparation. A few times you saw Roger around and each time brought a twinge of uncertainty that kind of made you want to throw up, but it was always pushed from your mind fairy quickly, replaced by only marginally less puke-inducing thoughts about studying. In fact, you barely had a moment to think about your second date before Thursday evening arrived and Roger was once again knocking on your door. During a very brief conversation you’d had upon bumping into each other between classes, he’d advised you to dress casually, so he found you in jeans and t-shirt. You’d contemplated wearing a skirt, learning from previous mistakes, but you couldn’t be certain how he’d react to it. Would he teasingly scald you for not dressing casually enough or would he pull you into a public bathroom again? Jeans were the far easier option. Plus it made it that little bit harder for him to get into your pants if that was what he wanted, and you kind of liked the idea of making him work for it.

When Roger pulled into the carpark behind the pub you looked at him with raised eyebrows, the now familiar sick feeling only getting stronger, “Really? Here?” “C’mon it’ll be fun. We had fun last time,” Last time when everyone at the bar had heard you moaning for him. Last time when you’d hung out in his van. Last time right before you’d made an arse of yourself and almost ruined everything. Roger must have sensed your hesitation because he put a reassuring hand on your knee, “Y/N?” “It’s fine, I’m being stupid,” you shook your head and pulled a smile onto your face. “Are you sure? We can go somewhere else if you want,” “I’m sure. Last time was very fun,” Roger looked at you for a moment longer but you were already opening the door and climbing out of the car. He hurried to follow, lacing his fingers through yours and giving your hand an encouraging squeeze. It felt easier once you were sat together at a small table off to the side of the room, a drink in front of each of you. You let yourself relax into your conversation, laughing at Roger’s jokes and becoming enraptured with the way he spoke. By the time the band came on stage you’d almost forgotten your earlier discomfort, happy to just sit with Roger and watch them play. Especially when he beckoned you to pull your chair closer to his, allegedly so you could see the stage better, though it also gave him the opportunity to wrap and arm around your waist. “What d’you think of them?” he asked suddenly, leaning towards your ear so you could hear better. “The band? They’re okay I guess,” “Would you say Queen is better?” “These guys don’t even come close,” “Correct answer,” he winked at you and placed a finger under your chin, tilting your face towards him. You sighed against his lips as he kissed you softly. “This drummer is especially unimpressive. Nowhere near as talented as Queen’s. Or as cute,” “Someone’s playing for the top prize,” “Mmhmm, did I win?” He leaned in to kiss you again, his hand resting on your knee, which you took as a yes. Slowly he began sliding his hand up your thigh. You shifted in your seat, turning your body to face him more, though he kept you from crossing your legs, pawing at your over your jeans. A small, quiet moan escaped you as he pressed the seam of your jeans against your clit and you felt Roger smile. He grew tired of not touching you properly though, deftly undoing your fly and wriggling his fingers under the waistband of your underpants. “Funny how often we end up here,” his voice was quiet enough that only you could hear him, yet practically demanding your full attention, “what’s the rule?” “I don’t know,” you half whined as Roger toyed with your clit. “Eyes on me, yes?” “Yes,” it took some effort but you managed to force your eyes open and bring them to rest on his face. “Good girl. You know why I want you looking at me?” You shook your head, biting your lower lip to keep from moaning too loudly. “There are two reasons. Number one, I don’t want you getting distracted worrying about who can see you. And two, I like watching your face. The way you get that pleading look in your eyes, almost begging me not to stop.” he paused, “Y’know this’d be easier if you’d worn a skirt. Which I’m fairy sure I’ve said to you before,” “D’you wanna find somewhere a little more private and help me out of these jeans then?” Roger’s finger stopped their motion and he tugged his hand free, “As tempting as that is, might be better if we head off.” “Head off like, go back to mine and spend the rest of the night together?” “I more meant... head off and go home to our own separate beds.” “Oh-kay,” you said slowly, trying to work out what you’d done wrong as he took your hand and led you back out into the warm night air. You were halfway across the carpark when you spoke up, “Why?” “Why what?” “Why do you want to go home already?” “I’ve got an early class tomorrow.” “Do you?” you dropped his hand, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yes. Why would I lie about class?” “I don’t know Roger. But you’ve been so fucking hot and cold with me I don’t really know what to think. Seriously though, what the fuck is your problem? Like one minute you’re inviting me into the backseat of your car and then next you’re saying you don’t want to rush things. You’ll touch my thigh, you’ll finger me under the fucking table but the minute I suggest we actually have sex you back off again!” “I know. I’m just...” he shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked a loose stone across the carpark. “Nervous. After what happened last time. The screaming match and the -” he broke off, biting his lip but you knew what he meant. You softened at his worried expression, “Rog, I’ve told you already that wasn’t your fault. I’m the one that started it.” “Yeah but I was way too rough with you that night. I could have hurt you, I did hurt you.” “I think your forgetting the scratches I left you with,” “That’s different. The way I choked you I could have done actual damage. And then there was the – the other part,” “Is this what things are going to be like from now on?” “What?” “Is that whole fight going to infect every interaction we have? Every time I’m reminded of it I feel awful and embarrassed and guilty, and I can’t help but panic. You keep pulling away because of a bad angry fuck. What if we never get past it properly? What if we can’t?” He kicked at the gravel again, not making eye contact, “No, I think we can. The moments when we’re talking and I forget about everything else that happened are really good. I just think it’ll take a bit of time to completely move on.” “What happened to putting it behind us?” “Easier said than done,” he shrugged, “Come on, we can talk about it more in the car.” You nodded and followed though you weren’t really paying attention. Instead you were going over everything in your head, trying to find a solution. Just waiting it out wasn’t good enough. There was too much uncertainty and doubt. You needed to do something. Something that would put Roger’s mind at ease about potentially hurting you and fix the discomfort you felt. Roger opened the door for you but you didn’t get in. “Y/N?” “We need to have sex.” “We literally just went over this,” “No, I know, but we need to. I said it on our first date and played it off as a joke but the more I think about it the more sense it makes. Sex would make things feel more normal.” Roger just looked at you. “Think about it Rog. Our whole relationship was built on it. Our very first interaction was you seeing me masturbate and then finding me here,” you pointed at the building behind you, “and fingering me in a room full of strangers. It wasn’t until after we’d slept together a few times that we actually like, talked properly.” “I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t want to, Y/N, I do. Fuck I want to, but...” “I get it,” you said softly, taking his hand in yours and gently rubbing your thumb over his skin, “But it won’t be like last time.” There was silence for a few moments as Roger considered but then he nodded, “Okay, yeah. Um... hop in and we’ll go back to yours.” “There’s a perfectly fine car here, why drive all that way?” "Privacy maybe?” “Rog, since when have we cared about being in public? “Touché. But I meant what I said before about the lack of space. Might wanna take your pants off before you get inside.” “You first,” “No need to be so suspicious, was your idea remember,” but he kicked his pants off all the same, throwing them into the drivers seat followed by his underwear, “I can’t believe you’ve convinced me to go balls out behind the pub,” Roger said as he folded the front seat forward. “Didn’t really take much,” you looked around to double check for any peeping toms before quickly pulling off your own jeans. They joined Roger’s, though unlike him, you kept your underpants on, “besides, I heard about you losing that bet and running starkers around the block, I know you’re not shy about this sort of thing.” “Losing a bet is losing a bet. I knew the cost and I paid it,” “Yes well, apparently that bet and sorting this,” you waved your hands between you, “this mess out, have the same cost,” “A cost you’ve noticeably not payed,” “Don’t worry, I’ll get there. But there’s something I want to do first.” Roger looked confused until you kneeled at his feet, “Woah, love,” “I’m pretty sure I owe you a blowjob, remember?” “I remember, but here? That gravel can’t be comfortable.” “It’s fine, it won’t last long.” “Excuse you but I think we both know I can last.” The end of his argument was lost in a gasp as you wrapped your hand around his length and squeezed just a little, smiling at his instant reaction. Without another word you looked up at him and took him in your mouth, sucking until he groaned, his hand flying out to brace himself against the roof of the car. You bobbed up and down, gradually taking him deeper, until he hit the back of your throat and you gagged. You pulled back off him, sliding your hand over his length, spreading your saliva out. And then you were back on him, though not taking him quite so deep, pumping your hand over what you couldn’t reach, hollowing your cheeks as you tried to draw more pretty noises from him. “Y/N, love,” You hummed in response, earning another groan and his fist banging on the roof of the car twice. “Jesus, I know I said I could last longer, but I swear to god if you keep this up, I won't,” You pulled back and smiled at him, “Isn’t that kind of the point?” “‘Spose so,” “Besides, we’re in the middle of a carpark and I’m kneeling on gravel. Think I’d prefer this to be over a little bit quicker,” That made him laugh, covering his mouth so as not to attract any attention from a gaggle of people exiting the bar and jumping into a car, “I told you it’d be uncomfortable,” You hadn’t explicitly said it and you had no idea if Roger realised, but there was a sense of apology in your actions. Modern day self-flagellation, though perhaps that wasn’t a good metaphor since you were quite enjoying yourself despite the stones pressing into your knees. But in your mind, this made things more even, went some way to erasing the awkwardness and discomfort you’d created. And that spurred you on, made you want to give him a good performance. “Quiet, smarty pants and let me get back to it,” He gave you a go on then wave with one hand, “was only warning you in-n case you – fuck,” Roger’s head fell forward as he moaned and you picked up the pace, mouth and hand moving in tandem to push him over the edge. Thankfully no one was around to hear him as he moaned, knuckles white where he held onto the car, hips jerking as you milked his cock. “In case I what?” you asked swiping at the corner of your mouth with your thumb, as a precaution. “I was going to say, in case you were planning on riding me before I came, but it’s a bit late for that now,” “Little bit,” you held out your hand so he could help pull you to your feet, dusting off the gravel still stuck to your knees as soon as you were up, “you still want to do this?” “More than ever, just give me like a minute,” “Sure, you know how much I love standing around in public half naked,” “Take your knickers off and we can talk about half naked. How are your knees?” “They’re fine,” “Good,” he stepped in close, trapping you between himself and the open car door. Your breath hitched as he kissed you, his fingers sliding into your underwear again. To any observers crossing the carpark on the way to or from the bar you would have appeared a regular loved up couple, stealing a kiss before you got in the car and drove away. At least, until they walked behind you and saw Roger’s bare arse and your spread legs. Not that you would have noticed if someone had walked by, much too caught up in how Roger’s fingers felt working their way into you, stretching you out. “Aren’t you just a filthy little slut,” “Only when you’re around.”

Roger wrenched his fingers free of your pussy, and stepped back half a step, holding his arm out towards the interior of the car, “Ladies first,” You’re just saying that to get a look at my bum,” you laughed, but you climbed inside all the same, pulling your shirt off as Roger followed and slammed the door behind him. In seconds he was reaching for you again, finding your lips again. It felt nice to be wrapped up in him once more, his touch lighter than it had been in the past, remnant concern manifesting physically. You placed your hands over his, giving him permission to be that little bit firmer as he lay you back, your head propped up against the wall behind you, taking a few seconds to look you over before he began rolling your underwear down your legs. “Wait, um, if you bend your knees for me,” he said, awkwardly trying to reposition himself to get them off your ankles. When he finally had them in his hand he slingshot them into the front seat, drawing a laugh from you. You let one leg fall to the floor as Roger pulled his shirt off, leaning forward so as not to punch the roof of the car. Once his shirt had been tossed aside he brought his hand back to your wet folds, running his fingers along you teasingly slowly. “Rog please,” “Love hearing you beg,” With a whine you readjusted yourself, scooting a little further back so more of your head rested against the wall, getting your neck into a slightly more comfortable position. He leaned over you in search of another hungry kiss but broke it off when you whimpered into his mouth. “Did I hurt you?” You shook your head, “just want you to fuck me already,” “Just, hang on love, give me a second,” he said as he tried to find a comfortable position. “Maybe if you move back a bit?” “My arse is already so close to the window I’m mooning anyone who looks this way,” You let out another laugh, “Can’t you just kneel on the seat?” “Not unless I want to bump my head. Can you move?” “Rog If I try to move back any further I may as well sit up,” “That could work,” he grabbed your arm and pulled you up so you could move across to straddle his lap. “Alright, just give me, shit-” your forehead whacked into Roger’s both of you swearing. You fell into another laughing fit as you landed on his lap, arms around his neck, though Roger wasn’t quite as amused. “God, are you okay?” he asked, pushing your hair back to examine the site of impact, “I told you it was small,” “Might not wanna say that while your dicks hanging out,” His eyes narrowed at you, “Yeah, you’re fine.” “Mmhmm, think this can work,” you wrapped your hand around Roger’s cock, making him hiss as you stroked him. You raised yourself onto your knees too fast and felt the top of your head collide with the roof of the car. “Oh Jesus bloody fuck,” you almost yelled, dropping back down straight away and rubbing the top of your head. “Christ Y/N,” Roger said getting you to look down so he could see the top of your head, “that sounded bad.” You rubbed the spot you'd hit, “It’s nothing,” “That’s it, I’m taking you home. We gotta get some ice on it.” “I’m fine,” “Y/N, it’s a head injury,” “It’s a bump Rog, nothing serious,” “It could be serious. I study biology, I know how fucking fragile the skull can be.” You sighed and lay a hand on his cheek, “Roger, I’m okay. This is not a sign from the universe or anything like that. It’s a small bump because I want you so bad.” “You sure you don’t want me to get some ice?” “Oh I am much too horny for that,” Roger still looked a little concerned but he chuckled along with you and dropped his hands to your waist, “you’ll let me know if you want to stop?” “You know I will.”

Going slower, taking a little more care, you tried to mount him again, managing it without injury. Roger still seemed wary, his hold on you lighter than you wanted but once again you placed your hands over his, pressing on his fingers until he tightened his grip. Gradually you began rolling your hips against his, letting out small hums and tempting moans against his neck as you leaned in to leave a trail of kisses and grazed teeth. Roger was biting the inside of his cheek as if he were trying to keep himself under control, lest he go too far. He hadn’t been afraid to let his domineering side show while he was just using his fingers, but now that things had progressed, and in the wake of your self-inflicted head knock, he seemed to be holding back again. It wasn’t what you needed. “C’mon Rog,” you whined between sucking at his neck, “grab me properly. Slap me, pinch me, use me. Want you to show me what needy whores like me are good for.” He swallowed audibly, fingers twitching against you as you clenched down on his cock. “Got so turned on inside, hearing you call me a good girl. And I was so close to cumming just from your fingers,” you changed the motion of your hips, drawing a gasp from Roger. “That’s because you’re a slut who likes getting off in front of an audience,” his grasp still wasn’t hard enough, though he was clearly getting more comfortable and more eager to take charge the longer you talked, your steadily swiveling hips riling him up. “Your slut.” Roger growled. One of his hands left your hip to swat at your arse, and then it was back, his grasp firm enough to hold you still, “Enough. I know you’re desperate for me to use you again but we’ve got a problem,” he laced his fingers in your hair and tugged your head back, “Because you’re so fucking needy and couldn’t wait the ten minutes it would have taken to get home we’re here, where there isn’t enough space to do everything I want to do to you. Now, if you really want me to use you, I could always push you to the floor and fuck your mouth. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you stopped when I hit the back of your throat. Maybe it’s time I taught you how to suck dick like a proper whore.” You whined and tried to rock your hips but he pulled on your hair again. “Keep still.” “Sorry,” He raised his eyebrow and waited another moment before he continued, “I could do that. But I like being in your cunt too much. So instead, you’re going to ride me properly. No more of these teasing little rocking movements. You’re going to put those knees of yours to work and ride me, show me you can be obedient even when you’re on top. If you do well enough, I might let you cum.” He bucked his hips, a signal for you to get to it. Bracing your hands on his chest you raised yourself up and dropped down onto his cock, careful not to hit your head again, steadily building your rhythm. “Good girl,” he said softly, sliding his hands up your sides and around to your breasts. You gasped when he pinched your nipples, disrupting the rhythm you’d found which earned you a sharp spank and a warning to keep going. It didn’t help when Roger began talking again, whispering a filthy stream of consciousness monologue to you that covered every possible topic from the way your tits felt in his hands to why your neck looked better covered in his teeth marks to how much he loved being buried so fucking deep in your cunt, and everything in between. Your whole body felt like it was on fire, burning as he laid claim to every inch of you with his words and his hands and his lips. The feeling only grew when you heard a wolf whistle from the other side of the window followed by Roger’s hitched laugh. “Jesus, the way you just clenched on me. You really do like an audience, don’t you?” All you could do was whine, the need to cum only getting stronger as you repeatedly impaled yourself on him. “Go on, love, give them a show,” he spanked you again, pushing a moan from your throat and you wondered if the person who’d whistled was hanging around to listen in. You held onto Roger tighter as he raised his hips to meet yours, both of you chasing release. You were done for when he dropped his fingers to your clit, holding out long enough to hear him breathlessly order you to cum. He followed quickly, squeezing your hips again, as you collapsed against his chest.

When you found the energy, you climbed off his lap and fell into the seat beside him, stretching your legs as much as you could in the limited space. Roger leaned towards the door, winding the fogged-up window down an inch to let some fresh air into the car, before he sat back and threw an arm around you, pulling you against his side. “Was that good?” he mumbled into your hair. “Brilliant. Told you there was nothing to worry about. Quite like it when you get all rough, really.” “I know. Couldn’t help worrying though, could I? I really like you, didn’t want to scare you off,” he said it casually but from how you were leaning against him you could feel his heart racing, your own speeding up too. You pulled away from him, just far enough that you could properly see his face, “I like you too Rog.” The shy smile you’d offered turned into a fully-fledged grin, the expression mirrored on his face, as he kissed you again. “Does this mean we’re all good?” you asked when he finally let you go, “no more weirdness?” “I can’t promise no more weirdness but definitely less. And I’m more than happy to keep sleeping with you until it's gone,” You giggled, head falling into the crook of his neck, “maybe not in the car again though.” “I’ll bring the van next time, give us a bit more room,” he bumped your shoulder playfully with his, “don’t want you hitting your head every time you get too impatient to wait,” “Ooh next time? You got any ideas?” you asked, reaching to grab your shirt and throw Roger his. “Like what we’re gonna do?” he paused as he pulled his shirt on, “Not really. Exam preps kinda taken over my brain. Only came up with coming here last minute,” You laughed as he scrunched his nose up and leaned forward to retrieve the rest of your clothes, “let me guess...close and cheap?” “Pretty much. Hey!” “Sorry, couldn’t resist. You’ve got a cute bum,” “No need to pinch it!” he laughed, throwing your jeans at you, "Think I better take you home before you get any more ideas,” “Yeah alright, can’t sit here half-dressed forever. Chuck us my knickers would you?” Roger threw the underpants at you, laughing as he watched you wriggle back into them. Carefully he opened the door, sticking his head out to check the coast was clear before he climbed out and hurriedly pulled his jeans on. You did the same, trying to be as quick as possible, while Roger put the front seat back into position and went round to the driver's side.

The drive back to your street was comfortable, his hand again falling to your knee whenever it wasn’t on the gear stick, but this time there was no question of what it meant. You were still laughing at a joke he’d made when he walked you to your front door. “You wanna come in? I could make you a coffee if you want?” “I would but, early class.” “Oh yeah, forgot about that. You know, you live right next door though, could stay for a couple of hours at least. Or just stay the night and then jump the fence in the morning.” “I can’t believe I’m about to turn you down but I really can’t. I swear most days I’d say fuck the class but with the exams so close I can’t afford to miss it. And I know if I did stay, I wouldn’t want to leave.” “I get it. I should probably crack open a book before I turn in anyway,” “I’ll talk to you soon though, okay?” “Yeah, okay,” Roger wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug before laying a soft goodnight kiss against your lips. “You better go or else I’m going to ask you to stay again.” “G’night. And put some ice on that bump before you go to bed, okay?” “Goodnight Roger.”

#my writing #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #ya'll im so tired and i have no idea if this is any good #but i've been farting around with it for too long #i wanted to get it posted three days ago #but fuck me i guess #anyway #hopefully i can pull chapter 6 together relatively quickly #and get it posted before the end of the year #gonna try and get a few more of the 1k requests posted soon too

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t0ngue-tech · 6 years ago

Text

All Yours | Six

“’Y/n?”’

‘Hm?’ You answered with a low hum whilst tying your shoelace. There was a crack in Yoongi’s voice when he said your name so it concerned you.

You stood back up on your feet and turned to lock eyes with him. ‘Yeah?’

He opened his mouth to answered, but licked his lips instead. ‘I—nevermind. It’s—I kind of answered my own question in my head.’

There was a nervous chuckle that left his lips and you tried your hardest to not think too much of it.”

↠angsty fluff (lots of dialogue in this one yall) universityAU ↞

word count: 5.8k

↠series: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 7 | ↞

A/N: WHEEEEEEEW POSTING JUST BEFORE THE MONTH ENDS LMAO. this is a late thanksgiving gift huhu. i am so thankful for all of you who appreciate my fics because i know im not the best writer out there, but you guise help build my confidence huhu. this is totes long overdue and i really hope you guise enjoy this chapter. (i apologize if there are any errors, ya girl is exhausted so i might fix it up later lol) i love you guise so much ♡

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Morning.

How were you able to fall asleep perfectly fine until the morning?

When you awoke, Yoongi was sleeping peacefully with the front of his body facing towards the wall. This made it easy for you to roll out of bed without bothering him.

You stirred your coffee and yawned so deeply you felt as if your jaw was going to dislocate. Going to your classes was the last thing you wanted to do. Your body craved sleep and your eyes were still sore from crying last night. But going to class meant avoiding any awkward conversations with Yoongi, so you opted to go.

And yet, this also meant you were going to see Seung Ho, the guy Seolhyun cheated on Yoongi with. This was a class that you couldn’t skip because you desperately needed more attendance points to bump your grade up a little higher.

You tanked entire cup of coffee, ignoring how hot it was, and sighed. Maybe you were overthinking things. Seung Ho didn’t have any business with you so why would he confront you with anything regarding the situation in the first place. But he did know how close you were with Yoongi and if he put two and two together, Seung Ho would know that Yoongi talked to you about it.

It was only 7:30 in the morning and you were already ready to choke yourself with your hair, so you drank whatever was left of your coffee and gathered your clothes to shower.

The shower was able to destress you a bit, but as soon as you stepped out, everything came rushing back. You just needed to survive the day and then you could open up another bottle of wine to have before you go to sleep.

When you entered your room, Yoongi was curled up on his side, facing the door and scrolling through his phone with squinted eyes. He noticed you walk in and instantly sat up.

“Good morning.” He rasped, still half asleep.

“Good morning. Nice hair.” You smiled at the way some of his blond locks stuck out and curled upward.

Yoongi shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. “What time are you leaving?”

You stared at your phone and pondered for a few seconds. “Hm, maybe around 9:15? I need to go over some of my corrections on my literature paper with my professor before I print it out.”

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“I’m about to.” You combed your fingers through your damp hair, shaking it a bit. “Care to join me? Waffles are on the menu.”

↠↞

The atmosphere felt different as you two stood in your small kitchen. Yoongi was preparing himself a cup of coffee while you were waiting for the last pair of chocolate chip waffles to pop out of your toaster. It was comfortable, yet heavy, but normal at the same time.

Yoongi moved naturally inside of your kitchen: going through your fridge to grab the bottle of syrup and even making you a cup of coffee, knowing you probably already had a cup as soon as you got up.

He propped himself on the sofa and carefully placed both of the coffee mugs beside each other. Your attention was so fixated on Yoongi that when the waffles popped out of the toaster, it scared the living hell out of you and made you yelp.

“Goddamnit.” You muttered, quickly pulling out the waffles.

“I don’t think there’s ever going to be a day where you don’t scared of something popping out of the toaster.” Yoongi laughed and sipped on his coffee.

“Is than an insult, Min Yoongi?” You trotted over to the living room with two plates of equally divided waffles on each.

“Yes it was, y/n.” He answered sarcastically and stole one of the plates from your hand.

To your surprise, you both had a lovely breakfast together. Yoongi vividly described the dream he had which dealt with freakishly large goldfish bowls and lagoons of chocolate that surrounded bowls. You jokingly advised him to never indulge in hot pockets before sleeping unless he wants more dreams like that one.

“Yeah, but at least the goldfish weren’t mutants.” Yoongi said entering your kitchen with the dishes.

“Still, nobody wants to see fish that big staring at you.” You commented. Why were you two still discussing his dream? You weren’t even sure yourself. But it was nice to know that you could talk to him as if nothing happened.

You stared at your closet for a few seconds, forgetting that you flipped your work schedule to work tomorrow instead of today—if you knew all of this would’ve happened, maybe you would’ve kept your original schedule.

“Are you staying here?” You asked Yoongi as he flopped back down on your bed.

“I might step out for little. I’m not too sure yet.” Yoongi replied, watching you stuff your pencil cases with a few more pieces of stationery.

“Should I leave you my key or are you going to go back to your dorm?”

“Actually—“ Yoongi took a second to think. “I’ll probably just stay cooped up in here.”

“Whatever sweetens your coffee, Yoongs. Just try not to eat all of my snacks.”

You stood in front of your mirror and ruffled your hair to give it an illusion of voluminous locks and behind you, you could see Yoongi sitting cross legged on your bed. He was picking at his nails, something he usually did whenever he was in deep thought. There were so many things that could be swarming inside of his head at that moment and you decided to not wreck your brain over it.

After staring at yourself in the mirror for what seemed to be ten years, you decided to switch out your coat for a hooded jacket. Since it was pouring last night, you wanted to be prepared just in case there was going to be an unexpected downpour.

You let out a deep sigh and slipped an arm through one of your backpack straps. “I should get going.”

Yoongi hopped off the bed to walk you to your door. It wasn’t necessary but you didn’t protest. He closely followed behind you and gave you room to sit on your floor to put on a pair of shoes.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You answered with a low hum whilst tying your shoelace. There was a crack in Yoongi’s voice when he said your name so it concerned you.

You stood back up on your feet and turned to lock eyes with him. “Yeah?”

He opened his mouth to answered, but licked his lips instead. “I—nevermind. It’s—I kind of answered my own question in my head.”

There was a nervous chuckle that left his lips and you tried your hardest to not think too much of it.

“Oh—kay. Then, I’m off.” You smiled at him and walked out, locking the door behind you.

↠↞

Y/n, you need to relax. If Seung Ho even notices that you’re acting a certain way, he’ll probably call you out on it.

It’s only been ten minutes since class started and you already felt your hands sweating. Seung Ho had already greeted you with his usual hey beautiful once he sat down and you ignored him as you always did.

The class was mostly quiet besides the students who asked the professor for help on some math problems. You sat at your computer, clicking away and solving the problems in your notebook in front of you. Once in a while, you would glance at Seung Ho to see if he was as focused you were—focused was a loose term considering how much bricks you were shitting.

What was Yoongi doing at your dorm? What was there to do there? Unlike their dorm, you didn’t have a gaming system and you took your laptop with you because you needed it for your meeting this morning. All Yoongi had was your television, his phone, and your snacks.

God, I hope he doesn’t eat all of my snacks.

You made a mental note to bring dinner for the both of you before heading back home.

50 minutes flew by at the speed of light. Everyone was stuffing their bags with their binders and signing out of the math website while the professor was reminding everyone about the objective due on Sunday. All you needed to do was rush out of the classroom before Seung Ho could say anything else to you; not even his see you next week, babe. You shuddered at the thought. It never really fully bothered you whenever he talked to you like that because he never made any advances towards you at all. But now that you knew what he did with Seolhyun, it disgusted you.

Like a god sent act of mercy, you were able to leave the classroom before Seung Ho did. Unfortunately, the devil works just as fast because you were able to walk about five feet from the doors and when you properly swung your bag over your shoulder, your pencil case flew out as well as a few of your pens.

“Fuck, fuck, fucking mushrooms on my pizza.” The choice of words that tumbled out of your mouth confused yourself and you creased your eyebrows together. You tried to gather your pens with haste and right when you were going to grab the last pen that almost strayed into the grass, Seung Ho stepped in to pick it up for you.

“Hi, y/n.” He handed you the pen and you grasped it in between your shaky fingers.

“Hey..” You breathed.

“I’m going to safely assume that Yoongi told you what happened.”

You almost argued with him by saying something like why the fuck did you get in bed with her in the first damn place but this wasn’t your fight. So you just nodded your head and avoided any eye contact whatsoever.

“Seolhyun wants to talk to him.”

“Yeah well, she can ask him herself.” Ouch, y/n. Too sassy?

Seung Ho adjusted his hat and pulled the sleeves of his flannel down to his wrists. “He isn’t answering any of her calls or text messages.”

“Can you blame him?” The sass spewed out naturally and with everyone walking by, you really didn’t want to have this conversation at that moment. “I need to get to my next class, Seung Ho-”

“Just tell him that Seolhyun wants to talk to him tomorrow. She just wants to have a chance to explain herself. Yoongi deserves an explanation.” You visibly exhaled a deep breath and looked at the time on your phone. “Please, y/n.”

You folded your arms and rolled your eyes. “Fine.” What am I? Their messenger?

Seung Ho gave you a weak smile and put his hands together as a thank you. He brushed passed you and you stood there knowing damn well Yoongi is going to stubborn and not talk to Seolhyun. If you were in his shoes, you wouldn’t want to talk to her either.

But you did kiss him, making Yoongi walk out of your dorm with the look of regret on his face.

You frowned and looked back at your phone. Great, you dragged your mood even further through the mud and you had three minutes to get across campus to your next class.

↠↞

It was a long day—a long school day at least. Lectures seemed a lot longer than usual and the breaks between your classes were supposed to relieve you, but it only made you feel more tired. You needed to pick yourself up a little, so you headed towards the university coffee shop where you found Hani flirting with Seokjin over the bar counter.

“My dumpling!” Hani completely abandoned Seokjin and rushed towards you. “How are you? You didn’t open up my text so I was worried.”

“I’m alright, Hani. Sorry, I’ve just been out of my head since this morning.” You sat down on the empty stool beside hers and Seokjin handed you a vanilla latte.

“I hope you don’t mind, I kind of bribed Hani to tell me some details because I couldn’t wait until your shift tomorrow.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. Can you heat up two paninis? The spinach and the chicken one? Just take the payment out of my paycheck, I’m too lazy to grab my wallet.”

Seokjin did just that, leaving you and Hani to talk.

“So, is Yoongi still at your dorm?”

You nodded your head whilst taking a sip out of your latte. You also texted him during your last class just to make sure he was still there.

“Other stuff happened last night—no, no! Nothing like that!” You laughed at the way Hani’s eyes turned into moons. “I—I really don’t know if I have the right to tell you, but I love you and I trust you.” She nodded her head and anticipated your next few words. “Seolhyun cheated on Yoongi last night.”

Seokjin came back at the perfect time. The dropped the bag of food onto the counter with his mouth agape. Hani mirrored his expression and blinked a few times.

“She cheated-cheated?!” Seokjin exclaimed.

“Yeah,” You sighed. “She was having sex with Seung Ho when Yoongi walked into her room.”

“Yoongi saw what hap—oh my god.” Hani raised her fingers to her lips and remained stunned. You were just as shocked when Yoongi told you, so you understood when they didn’t have much to stay.

“I should get back to my dorm.” You reached over the counter and looped the bag handles through your fingers. “Thanks for these, Seokjin. I’ll update you guys if anything else happens.”

Hani hopped off her seat and opened her arms for you to enter. Her hug was warm and it was something you really needed. You wanted to cry and tell her how stupid you felt for doing what you did last night, but this wasn’t about you. So, you just smiled at the Hani and Seokjin, promising again to update them.

↠↞

The hallway was toasty warm compared to the cold air outside. You were so grateful to finally be back at your dorm where you could throw on pajamas and have your spinach panini—and have casual talk with Yoongi too. Speaking of Yoongi, you didn’t even have a chance to tell him that you bought a small dinner for the both of you.

Oh well, food is food.

You unlocked your door and found both Yoongi and Jungkook sitting in your living room. You first made eye contact with Yoongi and then with Jungkook who had sauce stained on his chin.

“Uh, hi?” You chuckled and slid your shoes off.

“Hey, y/n! Welcome back!” Jungkook lifted his styrofoam bowl up for you to see. “Beef broccoli?”

“Thanks, but I have mines.” You raised the bag that was clutched in between your fingers.

Yoongi beckoned you to join them on the sofa and Jungkook scooted over to make room for you to sit in between them.

“If I knew you were here, I would’ve gotten you a panini too.” You waved the chicken panini in front of Jungkook before passing it on to Yoongi. It seemed like he ate already judging by the second styrofoam bowl that was on your coffee table, but he still took it from you and unwrapped the paper.

“I thought Yoongi told you.” The both of you flickered your attention towards Yoongi who paused mid-bite.

“Sorry.” He mumbled after fully sinking his teeth into the toasted bread. “I literally have no idea where my phone went after I texted Jungkook to come over.”

“He left his phone in our fridge once.” Jungkook mentioned, scarfing down the rest of his food.

“There was one time where he left his phone in between the couch cushions at the lounge. I’m surprised it was there the next morning.” You laughed and Yoongi gave you the are you done yet look.

“Oh! He once—“

“Jungkook, don’t you have a study group to go to?” Yoongi quickly cut him off and flung the panini wrapper square in the face of Jungkook.

Jungkook took a swig from his water bottle and looked down at his phone for the time. Within milliseconds, his eyes grew wide and almost choked on his beverage.

Jungkook pushed himself off your sofa and messily gathered his things. He stuffed whatever trash was lying around into the plastic bag he got with his food.

“I’ll toss these out outside, y/n.” Jungkook shook the plastic bag around his wrist. He waddled over towards your front door where all of the footwear was neatly placed and stepped into his slides. “Bye y/n! See you later, Yoongi!”

He shuffled out of your dorm accidentally slamming your door because of all of the things he was carrying. You heard the muffled sound of Jungkook’s voice saying sorry! behind the door.

“He’s seriously the cutest. I understand why you love him so much.” You chuckled and scooted over to sit where Jungkook was sitting.

“Ehh, I don’t love him that much.”

You laughed at the look Yoongi gave you because you could already tell he was lying.

The room fell silent and you weren’t sure if it was the perfect time to mention Seolhyun’s name. There was no mention of her name whatsoever since this last night, so bringing her up too out of the blue didn’t seem right. Within the silence, Yoongi looked as if an idea had struck him and he fished in between the couch cushions and like magic, his phone was uncovered.

“Well, shit.” He breathed and you snorted with laughter.

“You didn’t even feel any sort of vibration or hear your text message tone at all?” You were at the brink of tears at this point and abdominal muscles were already forming over your stomach.

“No, I—” Yoongi continuously clicked on the home button as well as the lock button. “I guess my phone died?”

The confused look on his face made you laugh even more.

Defeated by your amusement to his confusion, he shook his head and retreated into your room to grab a phone charger.

“Now that I think about it, I did invite Jungkook over around two and I think my phone percentage was around fifteen percent?” Jungkook sat on the floor so he could keep his phone close as he charged it.

“And for four hours, you lost your phone?” You got comfortable and stretched your legs out onto your sofa.

“Yeah and what took you so long anyway? I thought your last class finished at three today.”

“My lab partner and I wanted to perfect our hypothesis and experiment—actually, I texted you this.” You chucked in disbelief and showcased your conversation with Yoongi.

[12:46] You: i might fall asleep in this library

[1:03] Yoongz: I already took two naps. One on your bed and another on your sofa

[1:35] You: i’m going to die in my criminology class

[3:22] You: hey, i’m staying back to fix up my lab. idk when i’m going to be back but don’t eat all of my food pls

Yoongi stared blankly at your phone and once his phone booted up, it vibrated on your floor like crazy. The sound startled you and you sat up to take a quick look at his phone.

There were a few twitter and email notifications, but the thing that stood out the most was Seolhyun’s name on his phone that he already changed to her first and last name. Yoongi remained quiet as he stared at the multiple text messages he received from Seolhyun. There were repeated messages of please call me back and talk to me. Yoongi shifted his body and you quickly looked away from his phone.

“Are you?” You cleared your throat. “Gonna call her back, that is.”

He didn’t turn to face you, instead, he took a deep breath mumbled, “I don’t know.”

On an impulse, your fingers reached up to gently graze a few strands of Yoongi’s hair. You continued to move up and massage his scalp with your fingertips. “Don’t you want to hear an explanation?”

“And listen to her rant about how I’ve been such a bad boyfriend to the point where she had to cheat on me?” There was clear anger in Yoongi’s words and you couldn’t blame him.

“Yoongi-”

“I don’t want to hear anything that she has to say, y/n.” Yoongi twisted his body around and with the lightest grip you had on the back of head, your hand was now resting on his cheek when he turned.

Your eyes felt like they were stinging with tears and you didn’t even know why you felt like crying. Maybe because it was the pain that Yoongi held in his eyes and see how fast he was breathing. Yoongi didn’t deserve this, and Seung Ho was right, he deserved an explanation.

“Seung Ho talked to me after class—Yoongi please just—just listen,” Yoongi rolled his eyes and you cupped his face with both hands. “I know you’re assuming that you’re going to hear her mention about you being a bad boyfriend and hey, maybe you won’t. But Seung Ho even said that you deserve and explanation and frankly, I agree.”

Yoongi focused his attention to somewhere else on the floor and you squished his cheeks and made him look at you. “This is closure. I know you’re done, but you should also get everything you want off your chest too because she needs to know how much you tried and how much it hurt to be the only one trying.”

The stern look in his eyes grew softer and it seemed like he was finally listening to you. Yoongi rested one of his hands on your knee and drummed his fingers against the fabric of your jeans.

“Fine.” He sighed and you softly smiled at him. “But only on one condition—you have to come with me.”

Your jaw dropped a little and your pace of your blinking grew rapid. “I—I don’t think that’s a good idea, Yoongi. Especially since, for some reason, you told her that you kissed me.”

“She’s not going to do anything to you. I won’t let her.” Yoongi’s voice sounded certain. “I just don’t want to be left alone with her.”

He grazed your knee and you tried not to flinch. You really didn’t want to be around Seolhyun, especially because she knows that the two of you kissed. But if it was the price to pay to let Yoongi have his closure, then so be it.

“O-Okay..” You said quietly. “I’ll go.”

“Thank you.” Yoongi’s voice was just as quiet as yours and his lips twitched upward into a small smile.

Honestly, if Yoongi continued to look at you the way he was at the moment, you would lose all restraint and kiss him again. Yoongi’s eyes held every star in the universe and you didn’t understand what made Seolhyun want to cheat on someone like him.

The sound of your text message tone made you two break eye contact; you were disappointed yet relieved.

“Everything okay?” Yoongi asked whilst standing up.

“Yeah, Jungkook just asked me if you found your phone yet.” You chuckled a little and tapped away at your keyboard.

“I guess I should text him.” Yoongi bent down to retrieve his phone. “By the way, sorry if I invited him over like it was my own place. I just asked him to bring me my bag with some clothes and my charger.”

“It’s no problem.” You answered. “You’re not heading back to your dorm?”

Yoongi set his phone back down and stuck his hands into his pockets. “U-Uh, no. Not tonight, if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You breathed. “I”m uh, I’m gonna take a shower. I probably smell like chemicals.”

↠↞

That hot shower hit the spot. Even if the shower was the perfect place to stand in deep thought, you didn’t want to think about anything that had to deal with Seolhyun or Yoongi staying over again. You did promise yourself to not lose anymore self control because now was not the time to think about kissing him again or even cuddling with him. You caught yourself blushing as you dried your hair.

“Get yourself together, y/n. Keep your shit together.” You huffed quietly and unplugged your hair dryer.

When you walked into your room, Yoongi was changed into a gray tracksuit and was sitting cross legged on your bed. You spotted his backpack sitting on your desk chair which reminded you that your bag was still in your living room.

“You’re going to sleep already?” Yoongi called out.

“No, I have to make a few revisions on my paper.” You returned shortly, basically dragging your bag on the floor.

“Oh. Uh, well, if you’re done early, do you want to watch something on Netflix?” He averted his eyes away from you and found the loose thread on your blanket more interesting.

You chuckled at his shyness and took a seat across from him with your laptop tucked underneath your arm. “Sure.”

While you clacked away at your keyboard, Yoongi was absorbed in a game on his phone. He plugged his charger into the usb port on the side of your laptop, so he was lying down with his body at a 90 degree angle against your wall. It felt like nothing ever happened between you two because his presence was comforting.

After a few more strokes on your keyboard, you cracked your knuckles in front of you and sighed. “Done?” Yoongi asked whilst sitting up.

“Yeah, for the most part. I just hope this is the last revision I need to do.” You set your already heated laptop on your desk to properly cool. About 40 minutes had passed since you started revising and your back felt like it needed to be snapped in half like a glow stick.

“Let’s watch Coraline. It’s been a while.” Yoongi suggested and you didn’t complain, it was your favorite movie.

He took the liberty to take your laptop and set it up near the footside of your bed. You shared Yoongi’s Netflix account along with Jungkook, Jin, and Seolhyun; he was probably going to change his password soon.

The “continue watching” section was an array of genres ranging from anime to serial killer documentaries to food related videos. But Coraline always remained somewhere on that list. Yoongi didn’t know you rewatched the movie last week, but you didn’t mind watching it again and you especially didn’t mind watching it with him.

You were in the kitchen pouring some chips into a bowl and grabbing two water bottles out of your refrigerator when you heard the start up music of Coraline.

“I was so close to getting a yellow raincoat because of this movie.” You tossed a water bottle to Yoongi who already made himself comfortable against your head board.

“What stopped you?”

“My will power.” You snorted at the contradiction of your words and placed your head pillow onto your lap to sit next to him.

It was now farther into the movie, the chips were completely finished after two refills and the empty bottles were sitting on your desk. You were still sitting up with your legs stretched out to avoid your feet falling asleep. On the other hand, Yoongi’s entire body was already stretched out onto the mattress with his head sunk deep into the pillow.

“You know the first time I saw this movie, I really wasn’t expecting it to be this creepy.” You chuckled at the memory of you being a bit more terrified than your liking; it literally gave you a few sleepless nights after the first time watching it.

You waited for Yoongi to tease you or make some sort of sarcastic remark and it struck you as odd when you didn’t hear anything coming from him.

“I swear if you’re—” You turned your head to him. “Asleep.”

Yoongi had his head tilted towards your body and his hands were resting flat on top of his stomach. It almost felt like a crime to wake him up because he looked peaceful whilst sleeping, so opted to move as quiet and nimble as possible. You started to reach forward to pause the movie and with the subtle movement you made on the bed was enough to awake him.

“Finished already?” He tried to play it off and stretched his arms up and placed them behind his head.

“You’re not slick, Min Yoongi.” You scoffed and continued to clean up the mess around you two. “You literally took two naps today and you still managed to sleep while watching Coraline.”

“Are you surprised?” He shuffled his body to curl up on his left side to watch you clean up.

That answer was coming from the same boy who slept for almost a full day, had dinner, and then fell back asleep after letting himself digest for about an hour. All in all, I guess you weren’t as surprised as you thought.

Without exchanging anymore words, you put everything away into its respectful places and turned off your light with only the dim light from outside peeking through your curtains. Yoongi was still lying on his side with one hand tucked in between his knees and the other underneath his cheek. While your eyes adjusted to the dimness of the room, you could still see the whites of Yoongi’s eyes. You continuously told yourself to stay cool and to not show any signs of anxiety about lying down next to him. Everything between the two of you remained the same since this morning so just because you were going to sleep beside him doesn’t mean that it was time for the energy to change.

“Y/n?” Yoongi’s voice cut through your thoughts.

“Hm?” You hummed and sat down on your space of the bed.

“Can I—Can I ask you something?” As Yoongi stated the question, he sat up himself to sit cross legged towards you.

Your heart thumped against your chest cavity at the way he said can i ask you something? “Sure.”

The sigh he pushed out was audible and scooted closer to you. His eyes were darted elsewhere and the silence was weighing heavy around you.

“Can…” He started. “Can I have another kiss?”

Yoongi’s question knocked the wind out of your lungs and made your heart stop beating for a second. In what world would Yoongi be asking for a kiss because this had to be a dream. What made things worse was that you were actually giving it some thought and you were just telling yourself to get your shit together.

Now was not the time to be thinking about how soft his lips were or how lovely the dainty features on his face looked like. You especially didn’t want to think about how much you really wanted to kiss him.

Let’s be real; kissing him was a stupid and painful decision that you made on your own, but was it a crime to want to kiss him again? It had to be.

“Why..?” Your question came out as a tiny squeak and you were hoping you didn’t sound offensive or bothered by the idea.

“I just..” Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. “I like the way your lips feel.”

You wanted to laugh at the way he started, but he spoke without a mere chuckle so everything else that followed deemed serious.

“I also thought about why you would’ve kissed me and I think I figured it out.” You swallowed the lump in your throat. “There’s also a lot I want to talk to you about. It’s stuff that’s been bothering me, but we can talk about all of that another time.” He sighed and made heavy eye contact with you. “I just really want to kiss you.”

This had to all be a dream; you would’ve slapped yourself to check, but now was not the time.

It didn’t feel right to kiss him. It didn’t feel right to want to hold his hand as you laid down next to him because he just went through an ordeal. Yoongi needed to rest, even if he had a good amount of rest today. He needed time to gather himself especially since he agreed to meet with Seolhyun to have closure. All you had to do was politely tell him that now was not the right time for this. But as sane as you were most of the time, you were selfish about some things sometimes.

And now was one of those times.

“O-Okay..” You breathed.

Even in your dimmed room, you saw Yoongi’s eyes light up at your answer and it almost made your lips twitch into a smile.

“I can kiss you?” He asked again.

“Yeah.” You reassured. “You can.”

Compared to yesterday, the entire world around you started to slow down. Yoongi shifted his weight onto one hand to keep him at bay while he reached up to run his fingers against your cheek before cupping it.

Your breath hitched in your throat as Yoongi crept in to close the gap in between you two. At first you were hesitant in closing your eyes, but just before Yoongi fully reached the flesh of your lips, his flickered to yours. The gaze he gave you was calming and instead of it helping you relax, it only made your more nervous. You could practically hear the sound of your heartbeat ringing through your eyes; probably loud enough for Yoongi to hear.

It felt like hours before you watched Yoongi’s eyelids flutter close and yours followed in suit.

The initial touch of his lips sent a jolt of electricity throughout your body and as his lips molded carefully into yours, you sighed into the kiss. You could almost feel your body grow numb, but was revived back to life as Yoongi’s lips moved shyly against your own.

Your hands were balled into fists on your lap until you gained feeling back in your hands. You blindly reached for his hand and once you found it, he eagerly accepted the invitation to interlock fingers with you.

After what seemed to be forever, the bliss of kissing Yoongi came to an end once he pulled back an inch away from your face. You opened your eyes to find him staring back at you and he chuckled. The sound was music to your ears because along with the short sound of his laughter, he smiled. He still had his hand resting on your cheek and before you could say anything or even exchange your own laughter, he gently tugged at your face to plant another kiss on your lips.

Excitement bubbled inside of your chest all over again and you couldn’t even stop yourself from cracking a smile as you kissed. You liked Yoongi for so long and so damn much that feeling this happy had to be a crime of some sort. And if it was, you were more than ready to accept whatever sentence was given.

♡ rae

#bangtan boys #bts #bts fics #suga fics #suga scenarios #suga angst #suga fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #hello everyone #how u doin #finally updating all yours lol #took me about ten years #eNJOOOOY #yoongz #rae writes

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sunriseskog · 7 years ago

Text

Steel- Auston Matthews

Request: this wasn’t requested I’m just sad lol

Warnings: ANGST, cussing, cheating, dangerous behavior ?

Word Count: 1680

Notes: all i have to say is im sorry and that this is bad lmao// REQUESTS ARE OPEN

It had been a rough day. It had been a rough day and a rough week and rough month and a rough season and the last fucking thing you needed right now was to have to drive 30 fucking minutes to pick up your fucking boyfriend from whatever fucking club he was at getting drunk off his ass with his fucking teammates. You had nothing against his teammates at all, honestly, they were probably one of the best things to happen to you the past few months. You did, however, have something against them interrupting the bubble bath, Netflix, and white wine filled night that you had planned for yourself because they wanted to get wasted.

After searching for a parking spot for nearly 10 minutes, you ended up giving in and parking in the overpriced lot 3 blocks down from the location William had shared with you 45 minutes prior. After just barely convincing the bouncer to let you in, with the promise of being out in under 5 minutes and the tactical unbuttoning of a couple extra buttons on your blouse, you walked through the door and were immediately bombarded by an overwhelming inner dialogue of ‘fuck this.’ The smell of sweaty bodies and overpowering drinks and suffocating smoke machines made your eyes water and your throat close up. Getting jostled by overzealous college douches and even rowdier businessmen, you finally made your way towards the VIP booths you knew the team had claimed by now. “Steph!” You called out, finally spotting a familiar face.

“Hey babes,” she laughed. “Aus said you weren’t gonna make it tonight. Everything okay?” She questioned, noticing the tired look on your face and the bags under your eyes.

“Ya hon, I’ve just been having the week from hell,” you sighed. “Where is Aus?” You questioned, noticing the distinct lack of the hard-to-miss love of your life as you glanced around the booth.

“I saw him head to the bathroom a couple minutes ago, want me to go grab him?” Mitch questioned, jumping into the conversation.

“Nah, I’ve got it. Thanks guys.” You left with a small wave and an appreciative smile, making sure to grab his jacket off the back of the chair.

You were starting to get overwhelmed again. The music was still too loud and the air was still too thick and the closer you got to the restrooms the more it began to smell like piss. You knew if you didn’t get out of here within the next couple minutes you were going to have an anxiety attack in the middle of the goddamn dance floor, so you moved quickly to push open the door to the only functional bathroom in the club. Upon opening the door you stopped being able to hear the music or taste the air or smell the stench— because that was your boyfriend. And that was your best friend. On her knees with his fucking cock in her mouth.

It had been a rough day. Most people in your situation most likely would have resorted to yelling or screaming or crying but at this point you were just…done. You backed out of the door, rolled your shoulders back, took a deep breath and walked back to the booths. The crowd parted much more easily this time around, in all honesty, it probably had something to do with the glare you felt overtaking your features. As you approached the table, you could feel Steph giving you a questioning look.

“You’re taking Auston for the night,” you stated, shoving the jacket into Mitch’s chest. “I don’t care what he does OR who he does for that matter— but I don’t want him anywhere near me. Tell him he can go back home in the morning. I’ll be out by then.” You could feel them both about to interrupt you, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on, but you just shrugged off Steph’s hand and stormed out of the club.

“That was 7 minutes, bitch.” The bouncer called after you after you had thrown open the door. You threw both of your middle fingers up behind you as you made your way back to the parking lot. It may have only been 7 minutes, but it felt like a fucking lifetime. And in a way, it kind of was. Because there goes your fucking life. Upon reaching your car you felt yourself hiccup and just barely managed to grab onto the door handle before a sob wracked your body and you felt your legs wobble. After fumbling for your keys through your blurring vision, you climbed into the car and made sure to lock the door before letting your head fall to the steering wheel as you struggled to breathe through the tears running down your face. “Fuck. FUCK! FUCKFUCKFUCK!” You screamed through the mess of snot and tears running into your mouth, slamming your fists against the wheel, barely even flinching at the sound of the horn ringing out through the garage. “…fuck.” Your voice cracked as the weight of what you had just witnessed hit you. You didn’t… you didn’t know what you were feeling. It was like, you had so much to feel and so much to process that it just… wouldn’t.

You slowly gained your breath back, feeling your shoulders drop. A few moments ago it had felt like your heart was going to explode out of your chest, it was so heavy and so full of emotion and so so unbelievably hurt and now you just felt… nothing. It was like whatever connections your heart had had, whatever connections you had had to Auston were just…snapped. You had been heartbroken before, at least you thought, you had gone through the crying and the screaming and the weeks full of sweatpants and ice cream and intentionally sad movies so that you could say that you cried about something other than yourself, but this was new. You had grown here in Toronto with him, and all the growth that you had made was because of him. You had grown while in love with him, you had grown to be someone he could love. You had moved here for him and gotten this fucking job for him, the same one that had been ruining your life for months, you had left your friends for him, you had left your family for him, you had left everything. For him. And now all of it had gone completely and totally down the drain. ‘more like down a throat.’ You thought to yourself bitterly.

“Alright, (Y/N), get your shit together. You felt things before Auston and you’ll feel things after him but right now you’re not gonna feel fucking anything. You have shit to do. Fuck him.” You lectured yourself in the rearview mirror, swiping quickly under your eye to get rid of any evidence of the fact that you had been crying. You maintained eye contact with yourself as you took a breath, cracked your neck, and steeled yourself. It was a routine you had mastered long before you had met Auston. It had come in handy a multitude of times. Dad packs up and leaves on Christmas Eve? Steel yourself. Mom forgets your 12th birthday? Steel yourself. Prom date stands you up for the first, second, and third time? Steel yourself. The first man you had ever fully trusted takes the heart you gave him and ejaculates it down the back of the throat of a friend you had spent 6 years prioritizing over yourself? Steel yourself. It was the only thing you could do.

And it worked. You put your “Fuck you” playlist on shuffle and began the drive back to the house you and Auston had moved into together 9 months ago. You were taking the corners just a little too fast, and entering the intersection just a little too late, but it wasn’t exactly like it mattered. Everything was fucked anyways. After making it back to the house in one piece— miraculously— you stood in the middle of the living room and took a deep breath. Steel yourself.

Packing up wasn’t hard, Auston was the one who had lived nearby, and you had only brought half a cars worth of stuff to Toronto. A majority of it had long since been given away or moved into storage to accommodate Auston’s preferences and you hadn’t really noticed, or minded, until this moment. Grabbing one of the huge suitcases he normally reserved for long stretches on the road, it barely took half an hour to pack up all of the clothes you deemed worth taking. You cleared the bathroom of all your toiletries, placed the little jewelry he hadn’t gotten you in your purse, and grabbed the emergency cash you both had agreed to stash in the bedside table, just in case. The cash was primarily out of spite, you had plenty of money saved up, especially after Auston had refused to put your name on the mortgage, eager to spend the majority of his annual salary to finally own his own house. After placing your suitcase and duffel bag next to the front door, you removed the house key from your key ring and placed it on the kitchen counter next to the locket he had gifted you 2 Christmases ago.

Calling your brother to inform him that you’d be arriving in Pittsburg early the next morning had taken 10 minutes, and calling your boss to let him know that you were quitting had taken half that, especially given the fact that you had hung up immediately after breaking the news, it wasn’t like you were getting paid to hear him yell at you anymore. Dragging your shit to your car and keying in the directions had taken 10 more minutes. Pulling out of the driveway and coming to terms with the fact that your entire life was in the backseat of your car and you were about to drive away from everything you had come to know and love over the past 7 years had taken longest of all.

#auston matthews #toronto maple leafs #auston matthews imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #angst #mitch marner #tml #leaf nation #william nylander #nhl playoffs #breakup imagine

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ofphcenixes · 6 years ago

Text

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room. i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao. we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

#( blue ; converse ! )#( blue & libby ! )#WE LOVE CRYING

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channiekyun · 7 years ago

Text

chick or chic?//cube ent./pd101//seonho

pairing: yoo seonho/reader genres: fluff, bullet list word count: 1870 summary: “he always stayed by you because of your smile, but what happens when the reason you lose your smile is him?” a/n: i think this is the longest thing i’ve ever posted but, dear by lord i love this boy. pls support him and his debut!!

baby chick debuting with a mini album?

an hour to write before I fall asleep?

bring it on.

ok,

you and yoo seonho have been friends since you were like 6 bc your moms both dropped you off at the same daycare center

how convenient right

but you haven’t met seonho ‘till a while so bear with me here

I like me some backstory to the story

you’ve been coming to the daycare center for 4 months

you were so-so at making friends, kinda shy, but most of the times energetic

like literal spikes of energy could be seen coming out of your back lmao

sometimes you’d be called out on it by some of the kids or supervisors but like

u didn’t care

anyway, you’ve pretty much gotten your name thrown everywhere in the daycare center

and you were just playing with blocks and crashing toy cars into them (that’s what kids do right?)

then suddenly some of or supervisors start coming to you with a cake with lit up candles

“happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear (Y/N), happy birthday to you!”

and your 6 yr old brain was all like-huh?

but then they told you to make a wish and you blew out the candles

and you know how things done can’t come undone?

well, there’s your explanation for that being done

and then everyone just started cheering

plus the supervisors were all like: “I can’t believe your already 6, (Y/N)! you’ve grown so much!!~”

but again you’re just like: “im already 6??!??”

but your 6 yr old self just thinks that this atonement for not celebrating your birthday before you even went to the center

keep in mind you’ve only been there for 4 months so

ppl kept crowding you and the adults just starting distributing the cake

and this boy that you’ve never ever seen before sits next to you

and he just whispers into your ear “it’s my birthday too.”

“oh really? it’s not even my birthday today anyway!” you giggle

and this boy’s like huh

but seonho doesn’t do anything

nuh uh

he likes it when you laugh and smile

so you share your big slice of cake with him and play with him the entire day

you guys got picked up at the same time so your moms were just waiting by the door and you were saying bye and your moms were like “isn’t that just cute aww”

then suddenly one of the supervisors came and started bowing

“I’m sorry Mrs. Yoo and Mrs. (L/N), we switched up (Y/N)’s and Seonho’s birthdays so we ended up celebrating (Y/N)’s birthday today!”

and your moms were just like “that’s fine” but Seonho just looked a tad bit disappointed

and an unhappy Seonho makes an unhappy you so

you started crying, legit out of nowhere bc you felt so bad for him

plus you started screaming stuff like “it’s all my fault” and yea

and the adults try calming you down, but no, that didn’t work

but then seonho comes up and hugs you

and you surely calmed down while you held to his shirt

you felt reassured

and the grown-ups found this amusing

like you only met today but who knew?

next morning you brought a huge cake+a gift for seonho to make it up to him (ofc with your mum’s consent though)

you tell him to open his present and he did

what laid inside was a chick stuffie

it wasn’t big or anything, just average

and seonho’s grateful and all but he asks why you gave him that

“because you remind me of one?” you laugh

he likes to think that that laugh was also a present for him

and you play with him for the rest of the day

fast forward, your moms became acquainted then soon began to hang out with each other

which made you happy bc you got to see seonho more

when you guys were still at the daycare center you would bring him food

like juice boxes

but then like juice boxes turned to chocolate bars and then that turned into muffins

fast forward a little bit more to where you were now, both of you 14 and in high school, and you were still close af

oh and muffins turned to legit rice lunches bc he never had enough to eat lol

and you called him out on it a lot and he would either act offended or not care at all

that’s where he got his love for food from~

there were a couple loose strings here and there but that happens

you shared secrets, shared friends, shared test answers

you even got close to his brother and he got close to your sibling(s)

but everyone knows there’s gotta be a secret here and there somewhere

but you made several plots at 2AM to get to the bottom of whatever he seemed to hide even though it may not be your business

you were each other’s businesses anyway, right?

anyway

seonho had a dream of becoming famous

you admired him for that

and the school was going to be hosting an event where he would be starring in

and you were proud and almost started shedding a few tears

you: *sniff* so proud~~

him: not again (Y/N)

when the day of the show came on, he acted like a stuck up celeb

and you weren’t sure whether this was all just an act, or if it was just him but you weren’t gonna have this

you pulled him out of the corridor and slapped him just for him to get his sense back+you also gave him his rice box so

during the talent show when seonho was performing with the piano and singing you were videotaping him while standing up

you: “yeS, WORK IT SEONHO. gUYS THATS MY BEST FRiEND” (a total regina goerge’s mom moment here guys)

you were that extra lmao that seonho was mixed abt what you did but he felt so happy so you just cuddled (non-romantically) at his house after the show

next morning, you were waiting for seonho out of his house so you could walk to school together

but oh

he JUST HAD TO WALK OUT OF THE HOUSE WITH A LEATHER JAckET INSTEAD OF HIS REGULAR OL’ CARDIGAN HUh ASDFGHJKL

((i tried to look up seonho in a leather jacket and there were no images, pls someone get him into one i will die omfg lord))

and you just walked like you usually do, but this time in silence and no hitting or kicking

was he acting cold again?

he wasn’t talking at all

and even ppl started to stare

you just kind of avoided him for the whole day

it’s the type of thing that would get on celeb headlines: ‘(Y/N) Splits From a Cold Seonho?!?’

you were walking down the hall just mindlessly, wondering what to do with that extra rice lunch you had in your bag

but then you hear a couple girls whispering in a corner:

“oh my god, did you see seonho at the show last night? he has so much talent”

“but like did you see him today? he’s wearing a leather jacket and acting all cold today haha”

“he even drove (Y/N) away today, and they’ve been friends since they got here”

“that’s pretty chic though to be honest lol”

and there were murmurs of agreement to the last girls statement

and once you got outside you started laugh

cuz they just started calling seonho “chic”

you never thought that you would’ve ever lived to the day where someone would call that tall, clumsy, cutesy boy something along the lines of “chic”

but you felt a pang of jealousy when the girl’s started talking about him

yes, you were aware of your own feeling, you weren’t stupid like that

you went to his house, said hello to his mom, and went to his room

you didn’t want to mess around with anything but there was one thing couldn’t keep your eyes off

that chick plush you gave him when you were 6

it was sitting on his bed

you picked it up and admired it but quickly set it down

on the high bookcase shelf there was another chick plush

so you reached for it and looked at it in your hands

it was the exact same one but with a bow? which makes you confused

“what are you doing?” you hear behind you

oh shit

“um-really nothing” you turned around to seonho still in his leather jacket

“uh, then (Y/N), why are you holding that?”

you dropped the plush on the ground

“holding what?”

seonho just looked at the floor, not responding

and naturally..

you took the opportunity to slap him

“why were you acting like that the entire day? why with the jacket, dude??”

and he looked up at you with honest eyes and quietly said “for you”

that’s when your entire world started crashing down

“..for...me.?”

“i thought that if i acted cool you’d like me better, I guess that didn’t work though..” his eyes still tracing an outline of the floor

“you acted cool, just so i would notice you more?”

“i guess.”

and naturally...

you took that opportunity to kiss him

and his eyes grew wide and he just hugs you like you usually would and it was all just so damn perfect

you pulled away and was all like “seonho, honey, I love you but can we get you into that cardigan instead of this stupid jacket”

and he just jeered at you with “I love you too (Y/N) dearie”

that’s how you went from making out with seonho in a leather jacket to cuddling on his bed with seonho in his oversized white cardigan (which was fckn adorable btw)

man, you would love having a relationship with seonho, anyone would tbh

you even spoon fed him the rice lunch you had packed in your bag

his mom would call your mom to tell you what the hell was happening at her house

you and seonho’s mom fangirling over your relationship with each other

at the next show, you and seonho had a duet with him playing the piano and you singing

he got you a matching leather jacket and you were like “ew no,” but after he saw your reaction he made puppy eyes and said “but couple’s outfits” and you just said “i’m sold, just for gags though, seonho”

a happy seonho

a beagle seonho

you match each other so perfectly bc if soulmates were real, and they are, you found your match

one time you were helping seonho catch up on homework in an empty classroom after school and you got curious

“hey, seonho, what was that chick plush doing on top of your bookcase. it looks similar to the one i gave you”

he blushed and shyly said, “i was going to give it to you for your birthday..”

and you just kiss him

and when you pull away you say: “I can’t believe they would call a baby chick chic..”

ps i realized how bad i was at summaries mianhae

#🎉🎉🎉HAPPY DEBUT SEONHO 🎉🎉#yoo seonho #seonho #ultkpop #produce 101 #cube entertainment #cube trainees #produce 101 season 2 #pd101s2 #seonho scenarios #seonho imagines #kpop imagines #kpop #kpop scenarios #seonho/reader #seonho x reader #fanfiction #produce 101 scenarios #broduce 101

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gayghosttt · 7 years ago

Note

I wanna hear your answers to your questions thingie ☺️

Thank you I am avoiding studying for 3 finals rn lmao

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal, I do not like milk at all it makes me feel sick Every time lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Y e s I love being cold

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? mm usually a sticky note

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t really like tea but I usually have some kind of cold coffee or with cream and 2 sugar if its hot

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? mmm kind of yes

6: do you keep plants? I don’t currently have any but I love having them

7: do you name your plants? yes!!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? currently more words than visual art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes, I mostly do it in my head though

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? I almost always sleep on my left side but I sometimes sleep on my right side or back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? long boy, CRACKS PANTS, What if i was Straight

12: what's your favorite planet? mm I actually don’t know a whole lot about any of them but I think neptune is Very pretty

13: what's something that made you smile today? my friend paige and I sent each other christmas cards and I got hers in the mail today!!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? there would be his nerdy video game stuff Everywhere and my books and movies everywhere and a little bit of glitter on everything lmao

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it is quiet Everywhere in space

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? lasagna is the actual love of my life

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? BLUE OR DARK PURPLE

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I do alot of dumb things lmao but last semester when I lived in a residence hall with my friends i was always shouting IM GAY down the hallway or kicking my leg up high to put it on the window ledge

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I am very forgetful so I never keep a journal or sketchbook consistently

20: what's your favorite eye color? brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t really have a bag that’s lasted a super long time but my little blue makeup bag used to be my sister’s and I’ve been using it since high school

22: are you a morning person? If I’ve slept enough then yes but when I have classes at 8 am,, no

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep in and watch movies

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? mmm probably Steven? He knows most of them already

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? THE CHURCH PARKING LOT WE GOT LOCKED INTO TOGETHER AT NIGHT

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I rotate between like 3 pairs but I have some beat up black high tops I’ve had since high school that I love

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? usually just minty gum

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? steven calls me everytime he’s driving home from school and we always say I love you before hanging up its gay and i love him v much

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. okay I get judged for it alot but I wear socks 24/7 I have Too many socks and theyre all cute and yes I wear socks to bed and I wear them all the fricking time I am uncomfy being barefoot

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing recently but last semester I used to stay up until like 4 am with alot of my friends watching movies and one time like 10 of us watched star wars and had snacks and had a big cuddle pile sleepover on the floor

33: what's your fave pastry? chocolate croissants

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? mm I have a bunch still bc alot of them were given to me by someone sepcial/ for special reasons and one of my favorites is a pink bear with a dodgers hat that was from my dad when I was a kid

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do! If I have stationary I’ll use it to send people mail

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? currently I’m listening to lana del rey and its fitting

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I am an organized messy person so I am like half and half

38: tell us about your pet peeves! when people invite themselves over/ just show up without asking, opening doors without knocking, chewing with your mouth open

39: what color do you wear the most? black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a black ring I wear everyday that was from my sister and it makes me think of her since we don’t currently live in the same house while im at college

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? How to remodel a man by w. bruce cameron, I found it at the library and got it just bc it sounded like a funny title and it was genuinely the funniest book I’ve ever read I loved it

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Either 85 degrees down the street from me bc its really cute and the chocolate bread there is Amazing or coffee bean in my city cause it has a v nice atmosphere and the baristas all know my sister so they’re really friendly

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I have no idea actually

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? ???????????

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? I try to

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. earlier Aaron and I were roasting Morrissey and I said that when moz cancels shows/doesnt show up bc he’s sick its like he just sneezes once and then he’s like,,, oh my god am I,,, Still Ill

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? tuna

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I don’t really remember tbh

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes!! last record was the Uni single release and its clear and v cool and the last cd was a paul mccartney one i think

50: what's an odd thing you collect? pins mostly

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate alot of music with a lot of people but one song that reminds me of you is little queenie by sad girl

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the one of the white guy making a confused face is maybe my fav

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? rocky and heathers and beetlejuice yes and I love them all v much, I watched pulp fiction once at like 3 am and i slept through alot of it by accident so I cannot give an accurate opinion

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my sister

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? im not sure but my middle name is dramatic So

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they genuinely want to know about how your day was, when they remember something you said a long time ago, when they bring you something out of the blue because they know you like it

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? yes alsways it is one of the best songs ever

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I don’t currently have a solid Group of friends but between us I would say you are probably wine mom and i am vodka aunt lmao

59: what's your favorite myth? I love a lot but rn I love the loch ness monster

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes but currently none are coming to mind lmao

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? sometimes I give steven glitter bc i love it and he Hates it lmao but I’m not sure if I’ve ever really gotten a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope, usually just water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? organized, not necessarily alphabetical or anything but I like things by the same author or artist to be together

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? alot of my high school and college pals

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? mmm probably a lot of dark red roses and little white flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? kinda depends but usually I like them

68: what's winter like where you live? usually cold and kinda rainy but lately its still in the 80s and hot

69: what are your favorite board games? bingo always

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no and I Maybe would??

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not super into tea but i don’t mind green tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? v much so

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastinating, leaving water bottles on the floor, ignoring instructions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they have brown hair and glasses and really pretty eyes and live in another country and are so sweet and remind me of a little fox

75: tell us about your pets! I don’t have any but my siblings both have fish and barry is my fav little guppy even though he’s a rude drama queen

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? studying for my finals

77: pink or yellow lemonade? both but I like pink alot

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h a t e

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my friends used to make me mixtape cds alot

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? at college they’re just white bc its a dorm but at home they’re blue and my dad and I painted them secretly one summer lmao

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. looks like the inside of a blue gelpen

82: are/were you good in school? I try to be, I’ve always had a hard time in math and science classes but I’m good with artsy and english classes

83: what's some of your favorite album art? I have,,, to many to pick from

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? currently no? I’m very indecisive so I’m not sure what I would get bc I would want it to have a special meaning

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? not really but I wouldn’t mind

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? probably alot but ziggy stardust and sgt pepper come to mind first

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? eraserhead, big fish, and casablanca

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? mmm yes probably alot but rn I really like zines

89: are you close to your parents? my dad yes my mom is very up and down

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I really love the Manhattan Beach area it’s always made me really happy since I was a kid something about it just always feels welcoming and familiar to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? not sure

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? depends on the pasta but generally I like alot of cheese

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? It’s always the same fluffy messy curly besides when I put it up in a little ponytail sometimes

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend tori from high school

95: what are your plans for this weekend? going back home and Finally sleeping alot

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? it usually takes me about a week to finally stop being lazy and do them

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? I think I was ensj or insj or something like that last time i checked, I’m a gemini and I have no idea about my hogwarts house lmao

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? probably a few years ago and it was pretty okay

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. there are a Lot but lust for life by the band girls always reminds me of myself and i’m listening to flatsound rn and alot of his music hits me hard bc I feel like that alot

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? as much as I would like to have things back from my past I would probably say future, I’d like to skip ahead a bit to when some things have changed and are hopefully better

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sh-lan · 7 years ago

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i’m always late for these now but oh well

i can’t believe i’m making an ebay account happy new year LOL

Third day of the new year!

Went to hangout with ryan and leighton. They wanted to try marugame udon so!!! Also i saw adam but didnt say hi, oops. In any case. We were like hey let’s do something like walk around! But it rained a little so we bought some cuties from trader joe’s and ended up at ryan’s house and basically sat in his kotatsu for 4 hours then i came home. I also finally know how it feels like when the manga says that your legs get tangled inside the kotatsu. And when you literally cannot get out of it. Plus the feeling of losing the ability to walk because ya gurl tried to stand up after crawling out of the kotatsu and just fell back down What a day LOL

my brain in general has forgotten how it feels like to study …oh dear

Mommy helped me dye my hair yesterday! It’s lighter than i thought but it was the gray ochre color from palty! And it smells like grape hichews Facetimed vania & yuri today and they noticed the color! And then facetiming with dad and he also noticed LIKE WOW I DIDNT REALIZE PEOPLE COULD TELL? <3

I want a lot of cute phone case but idk what and where to get EDIT: i am still having this problem

I just saw the golden year of the dog items from starbucks korea AND I WANT EDIT: also want the starbucks x pantone planner fml EDIT EDIT: did not end up buying anything good job deborah lan

i was right muster merch colors ARE BEAUTIFUL

The muster merch fmu EDIT: clearly i was overwhelmed with the colors because there were two separate drafts in a row lol

The company insists on having two references….

And now they said they chillin with a peer reference SO I PHONED A FRIEND (aka vania) bless her soul

jan 10th l i f e u p d a t e got the first job offer of my life!! (well official full time offer lol) and so it looks like i’m going to portland? :O

Wow i joined a GO for muster merch New year new me and goodbye money 탕진잼 탕진잼 탕진잼

Wow im glad i submitted the form to get muster merch because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND PRETTY. Okay but i really want PCs so i sincerely hope bighit has some sense and ship PC sets abroad when you order multiple other items Also didnt realize the lenticular key rings would be a hot item but seriously they are so much more adorable than i thought?? Jk’s key ring is so cute i cri EDIT: just found out about no acrylic stand )))): EDIT EDIT: didn’t get squat because ARMYs jump all over everything any time anything is released...

finding housing is hard and i can’t believe that i actually see an appeal to living in downtown…

fmu because bt21 getting released online BUT I REALLY SHOULDN’T BUY but also i finally got my package from jen! ugh omg the bag charms are so cute i don’t know whether to actually use them or keep them in their boxes ;__; and she included some mediheal masks! finally also sent vania her tata as a thank you gift~

deokrim stickers are too cute ima buy two sets

And ugh wow i cant believe i chanced upon cornpeu shop reopening im ded Vania and i didnt catch the timing for bt21 and now i’m still dumping money on bts things HAHA EDIT: not even 15 min after writing this, i bought the stuff from cornpeu lel (which couldve been used to buy the cushion so idk man) time to go preorder for deokrim maybe?

Wow my left hand hurts like shit did i really break it playing superstar bts like mom said? No way right

Ahhhh got my muster merch in the mail today and it’s so niceeee *^* Ima stick that washi tape like everywhere LOL

I hurt myself four different times today smh

In portland for the weekend! I deadass ate two packets of honey roasted peanuts on the plane ride over because i didnt realize i was so hungry and now i’m just waiting for the pimples to cOME ;__;

I walked into a stationery store in portland and just. FOUND MY PEACE. jk but i bought some stickers i been looking at online blesssss

No. Tax. Anywhere. (So far)

I had coke last night after my flight and i legit didnt feel tired until 3:30am oops

Omfg i cant believe someone was selling the trust issues photobook by snowpeach in the luce in altis project for $15 last night WOW LIKE THE FEW DAYS I DONT CHECK SHIT, THERE’S ALL KINDS OF SHIT I WANT. $15 is so cheap ;___;

went to portland with alice to check out apartments!!! woot. lots of fun going around/looking at the city. landed on thursday night and waited at the airport for alice and ate mcdonalds/watched the office haha friday: alice had work all day ): so i went out to meet up with yuri and leslie who happened to be out in portland too! walked to the alberta arts district to eat with them at pok pok noi. just walked around afterwards exploring in the rain before getting back home to eat dinner with alice at like 8…lol we went to bamboo sushi in sw and alice treated me to omakase as a congrats on getting my new yob!! woot also did some walking around in the neighborhood - will likely spend quite a bit of time in the powell city of books! saturday: the day we actually went out to see properties! grabbed some blue star donuts and headed into nw district - looked at some apartments and then grabbed lunch at this cute italian place that i will most likely frequent. started talking to alice about stuff and being weak, i cried and then we got free hazelnut ice cream…LOL. it was really good sunday: since we toured places that i actually liked yesterday, we basically just decided to walk around different areas. waterfront park, pioneer square…we spent a while in nordstrom rack and sephora looking for stuff for alice! lol. then dinner again at bamboo sushi and dessert at salt & straw :> monday morning: waking up early to get to the airport for alice’s flight. bought more donuts at the airport for mom! then i sat at the airport watching the office and eating until the airplane ride where i got a whole row to myself~

and that was my portland trip shortened LOL. but~ excited about the new city, definitely excited about the donuts!

Furniture shopping is hard Moving is hard Everythinf comes down to money S M H

Got approved for my apartment today!! #excited

legit on phone calls for an hour getting stuff down and ready. now to wait on emails so i can get to the next step to sign my lease!

It’s been hot in sf like ??? In other news, i put coconut oil in ma hair - let’s see how it feels tomorrow! :O EDIT: idk, it didn’t feel different?

Omg feb 5th: suddenly a day where i can play hard mode on ssbts wow what a day

I just saw the new bts game where you get to “live chat” the boys as the user becomes the manager and takes care of the bois I am literally gonna die All armys gonna die Why do they do this to us …BECAUSE THEY KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE THEIR MANAGERS

Today i threw away my first lip tint because it looked funky funks and was like dying Good bye you were good to me - onto more an new lip tints! On another note. The balenciaga cap is $350??!?!

Being fat today and ordered three desserts with han at creations. And then went to the beach because pokemon but ended up star-gazing and it was niceee

Just came across its it ice creams on IG and since it’s been so hot (cause like spring came early or something??) i want it!! Also, it’s like the only time i ever consume oatmeal raisin cookies (unless they just oatmeal - in which case, delicious) But omg i didnt know strawberry is an OG flavor? Althought mint reigns supreme. But. GREEN TEA??

A BUMBLEBEE FLEW INTO MY HOUSE THE OTHER DAY AND I WAS ALONE AND COULDNT HELP also raided mewtwo yesterday!! Woot. Surprisingly got the gym bonus after much hardwork but dayum caught with only one ball LOL

Ever since that one time on the airplane with the weird ass headache/tension above my left eyebrow….i got like two headaches in a week that were like that. Also in between those, my right ear hurts and honestly…am i broken somewhere cause lel Body please get better

Lmao so last time i put on a screen protector, i cracked it in two days cause i dropped it. And i just put on a new one last week and lo and behold, it hath cracked again but this time, in my purse. I’m so ????? Smh

Landed in portland once again with han for move in!! Woke up super early…. Just went to target/tj maxx to buy stuff. Smh should’ve bought a swiffer and gotten it sent here ): Got a shower rug! THE SOFT SQUISHY ONE. But failed in the shower curtain department cause it’s too short… Makeshift bed with blankets and bed sheets lol…we shall await the mattress coming in tomorrow~ Do have quite a bit of stuff to buy in general…): Anyways. Had a burrito for dinner and like ?!! Aluminum foil gave me an aluminum cut so…ow No internets yet - good thing han downloaded some movies!

My cuticles are dying because my hands are dry and wow this is terribad

Went and bought a shitton of strawberry chocolates for 50% off at cvs MUAHAHA

Went to macy’s (or we’ve been going often since it’s going out of business so things are going on sale) and got the seiko watch i was kinda eyeing last time. ONLY TO FIND OUT (forgot to check on amazon) that it was 38 dollahs cheaper ;__; but. EHHH it’s all good. Seems like the one on amazon has strap problems being too smol so…like, it’s totally chill

February 19th

My first day of work!! Went in earlies and had onboarding for about two hours with amother new hire. Then i returned to my room where i met my coworker and my manager! Both of whom are in the same room and we each have a desk. (Ima have to request a standing desk :O) anywayss. Got a company laptop - thank god it’s not bulky. And then i’ve got two monitors on my desk too! #bless

Then jlw went through more ux stuff with me and i also went to a stand up meeting. Like. Those are real man. Then went to company lunch! Where new hires introduce themselves and i realize that i have never used a dishwasher before and everyone was shookt lol.

Afterwards, i went to a sprint meeting AND BOIIIII PLANNING POKER DOE??? Lololol. I have to say i did not understand a single thing that was going on. Took about an hour and a half…

Anyways. went back in where jlw continued where she left off and then finally let me read some onboarding stuff on my own before she headed out at 4 and then me, leaving swiftly at 4 as well LOL

SO that was my first day! Trying to get everything in order - i hope that everything goes great and that i learn lots and lots! :> although…windows computer already killing me, no wonder people use mouses instead of the trackpad. Also��gotta learn Axure + in depth photoshop so…WOOT WOOT

Oh and we also have a huge snack cabinet i might just become a potato

Light snowfall is so pleasant :>

Bucketlist checklist:

Eat alone - check! First lunch break :> (exciting!)

Watch a movie by myself - check! Love, Simon

Second day - drank too much coffee while i’m still weak against caffeine. It’s 1:26am. HNNNGH

i got really bored at work today because even though it’s week 2 now, i was done with my shit at like 2pm so i just started looking at axure tutorials for another however long until 4:30 LOL side note: might actually do my post-its idea thing then i realize that i didn’t bring any post-its over to portland… also i cracked my screen again today because i slammed it on the counter while trying to save it from falling so did i really save it….

bought rice and shin ramen on amazon lel

Gonna try out my post it idea in the office tomorrow. Hope it goes well 🤞

2/28/17 First ever happy hour but also goodbye party for kyle - also like the first time i talked to him since the one and a half week i been there (minus when we introduced ourselves) but sads cause he was kinda a squish and everyone seemed to have a chill time working with him :/ oh well

ALSO THE FIRST DAY THAT YA GURL GOT PAID $$$ (which is just directly going to rent - oh the woe of getting paid bi-monthly LOL)

Wow i did a great job sticking on my phone screen protector! #yes EDIT: no i didnt. It’s blocking the camera slightly on top smh

Ya gurl cut her finger on a tape measure lmfaooo

Alice came two weekends in a row to help me buy and build stuff and daymn. That was some hard work and tbh i only built a shelf and a bed LOOOOL I think ima go for the sofa + table rather than the desk. I think it might work! Also went to ashun market. Good weekend :>

I went bowling today!! It was an engineering celebration so i thought - why not, let’s be social for a little bit. And it turned out to be fun~ we had some fuds and i played two rounds. And I got a strike in one of the rounds! Woot woot. Anyways. It was enjoyable, not as awkward as i had envisioned. Also i was able to successfully catch the bus home so that was great :>

I think i’m reverting back to my eating habits because there are ENDLESS SNACKS IN THE OFFICE. Oh dear

Really actually thinking about that dicon photobook because the pictures are so nice :<

ALSO FINALLY FCKIN DISCOVERED ELECTRICITY CHARGE ON KWH DIFFERS ON A MONTH TO MONTH BASIS in addition to usage. Wow the things you discover and uncover as you adult

Also city of portland why do you have a base charge of $11???????

Ahhh xfinity wifi was too good to be true Apparently only 5 devices could connect to it at one time. So i guess i gotta shop for internets now…LOL EDIT: NAWP. ALL GOOD. THAT WAS FOR HOME HOTSPOT. WOOT

Lmao my manager went to ucsd when marshall was still called third im

In other news. It looks like my one on one anxiety wont dissipate soon. Esp since last week, the vp of engineering just sent me a calendar invite for a one on one and i literally got stressed out for a straight 30 min before i said yes to the invite and could slowly go back to focusing on work lol…. EDIT: it ended up being around 15 minutes and i did not really enjoy it at all

We are bulletproof pt 2 came on today while i was walking and i still cannot believe that the first lines still got me smiling like a fckin idiot

Ok so i finally talked to this girl at work (who i think is really pretty omfg) the other day and she’d been curling her hair recently and as we were walking out of the bathroom i was like I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR And then she said my hair is so straight and healthy - “do you straighten it? It’s really pretty” and i’m just over here crying on the inside because it looks like hay and only happened to be really straight that day for god knows what reason. SO BASICALLY THE STARS ALIGNED JUST SO WE COULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION Also she said she recently bought a curler that just “does it for you” and gurl i need that because idk how to DO ANYTHING TO MY HAIR UGH

I woke up with the blankets already nicely proportioned off the sides of my bed - so i just crawled out without making my bed today lool

Thought i could handle watching burn the stage but i saw the screenshot of jungkook lying down and it already broke my heart Need to be secluded with some tissues ;__;

A two day trip to see The Rose in seattle or a five day trip in san diego… 🤔🤔🤔

last day of march went to lunch with my coworkers for the first time and i actually enjoyed it! it was fun :> glad that my coworker actually dropped by the office to invite us to lunch~

good friday today because:

lunch was good

really honestly did nothing because we were troubleshooting visual studio

also basically did nothing because double sprint planning and retro LOL

HEADING HOME FOR THE WEEKEND UNTIL WEDNESDAY

#gotpaid

but no joke, on the ride to the airport, i got carsick and i honestly didn’t even know that was possible but if you think about it, i basically haven’t been on any kind of transportation for at least a month… also my uber driver is like some viet gangsta or something that gets pulled into the room every time he tries to go to canada O_O LOL

Deadass trying to save money but The rose concert in seattle, want to make an sd trip, want the 2k18 asia trip But also bts comeback sometime during the first half of the year and SUDDENLY WANNA ONE IS GOING TO HAVE A WORLD TOUR??? Dammit dude DAMMIT

My heart dies a little every time my coworker comes by and invites me to lunch with everyone *ugly sobs* Dies a little in a good way - just for clarification LOL

Mom dyed my hair for me! And it was darker than i thought BUT GREAT. Curiously enough, after two washes…it’s already lightening?? NO PLEASE STAY DARK. PLEASE. EDIT: lol i realized there was another “mother dyed my hair” somewhere on top lel. just for clarification - nobody else dyes my hair including myself cause i am incapable lOL

omfg i just saw the we bare bears x spao collab AND THEN FOUND THE ADVENTURE TIME X SPAO CLOTHES, SO CUTE!!! the jake and bmo hoodie )):

didn’t realize that i missed them so much ;__; we thought we would all die with the black hair but actually they just killed us with softness good thing they didn’t come out with foreheads lOL

okay lol basically that’s it because nothing happens in my life although i realze that i video recorded a lot of experiences and they’re all just video files sitting on my phone and that’s why maybe i haven’t been writing any everyday things down :O will i ever edit them? unclear

in any case - planning lots of fun things for the months to come hopefully!

#mumble mumble #does this count as #spring mumbles #debs in portland #adulting debs

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kyandice · 8 years ago

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14/02

It’s Valentine’s Day and before today i was in Malaysia for a few days and I could only think about the things i could buy for Bryan. Lmao I bought a bag of snacks and chocolates and I was extremely excited before giving it to Bryan. So yay when I got into his room and stuff he started eating those cheese sticks anyways I love their cheese. I forgot what brand that was but I swear that brand has the best cheese in the world. So Bryan also almost finished the box of cheese dips with me he wanted to save like a box for his sister, but well he told me that his sister didn’t like the cheese soooo boohoohoo maybe small kids have slightly different taste buds. So while I was in Malaysia I went to this store and well it was filled with anime stuff and idk kpop stuff. There was like a lot Pokémon stuff to so i decided to fill the Valentine’s Day bag that I’m giving Bryan filled with Pokémon stuff. I really forgot how much I spent on that shop but I bought a Pikachu plush 20-25cm I thinkkkkk I don’t rmbbb maybe smaller lolll. And I also got like a few tiny legendary Pokémon figures they aren’t like real legit figures but i thought it would be kinda cuteee. So I kinda made a box and put it in so it wouldn’t look that awkward scattered around in the bag. There was also this fake Lego Pokémon thing and I decided to buy it for him because it looked kinda cute I don’t think he kinda fixed it buttt :

So we had decided to Skype each other. Well apparently it’s 15/02 but like I haven’t slept so it’s counted as 14/02. And yea. Around 12am Bryan asked me to do something that I just didn’t want to do so he became angry and I became angry. And then Bryan suddenly cut and ended the call on me so I got angry and I told him that other guys wouldn’t treat me like that. I mean I don’t get angry fast, but when I do I go all destructive I’ll get insensitive to other people’s feelings and I will do anything just to make that person feel down. Also when I get angry, I don’t get angry easily and instead I’ll get angry because it was a built up thing or something. So after he cut the call with me i got angry and then I texted him saying like insensitive stuff to him.

But then after I said all those angry stuff to him he said I broke his heart and he said he was the worst boyfriend ever and I started breaking down and started crying. So I realized I was angry and I didn’t mean everything I said but then when it tried to call him again he didn’t pick up. I guess I’m a bitch when I’m angry tbh I don’t deserve anyone. i become mean and I’m a pure asshole when I’m angry I just want to put people down to feel better about myself I’m such a coward

Edit: this Lego Pokémon thing would prolly be his first Lego toy after like yearssss

15/02

So I woke up worried and like legit I woke up with my heart thumping real fast cuz I was really worried about Bryan because of ystd night. So apparently I woke up late and by the time I reached Macpherson Mrt, Bryan was already there and then I started tearing up a little cuz I thought he was still upset with me. and well guess what he had a paper bag on his hands and he passed it to me and he said Happy late valentine’s day. Then I started crying.

Like I would always make sure he tells me when he’s back from home so I wouldn’t be so worried about him. And well he told me he was back home, but like actually he lied to me and he went all the way just to shop shoes for my Valentine’s day gift. First of all, I was so touched and like cuz he said that ystd night on skype was a prank and then I felt so bad for saying all the bad stuff to him. so I became like fuckingg guilty and i cried more.

(p.s. we promised each other not to get each other gifts for Valentine’s day cuz it was exam period and I didn’t want him or me to spend time for each other choosing our gifts rather than studying. but like since I was in msia, I might as well buy for Bryan stuff since I wasn’t even studying so like, might as well. but Bryan bought it when he could spend that time studyingggg.)

Anyways I appreciate that a lot and omg I was extremelyy happy and surprised also when he gave it to me. Like, I didn’t even expect ittt. I didn’t even expect any gift since like we also made a compromise not to give each other gifts but oh wellll

So when we reached the sch library, I could finally see what Bryan bought for me. and to tbvvvvvh the first thing I was looking for was a card, and I was kinda disappointed that there wasn’t a card inside the bag. but when I opened the shoe box there was a card so I immediately brightened up :DDD and like I read the card at the same spot without putting it down like thrice before looking at the shoes. anyways the shoes are like damn nice. okay, i slept with the shoes I’m not even kidding I’m like so in love with my shoes I love black andd pastel pink so much it’s like two of my most favourite colours and it also has my name engraved on in istg the shoes are like so beautiful I cant stop looking at it even after I went back home. BUT THE SHOES ARE FUCKING $100+ LIEK WTF DUUUUDEEEE. FUCK HE CANT SPEND SO MUCH MONEY ON ME AGAIN. FUCK I FEEL DAMN BAD SIAAAAAA

well after that, since it was still earlyy (arnd 9am?) we decide to just get out of sch library to like go his house againnn. Well we met Cindy on our way to the Mrt and what happened afterward was even funnier. Apparently when we came back we decided to join Cindy and the rest to study at the library, Cindy asked what we did while we were out we said we ate lunch but I forgot what Bryan said but he lied to Cindy, but cuz Cindy saw us outside the mrt she caught Bryan lying and lmao I legit facepalmed cuz hahahah we’re sorta exposed.

so yeaaa we studied in the library with Cindy and I was studying math while Bryan was studying OC. he asked me a few questions about OC I tried to recall but then a few seconds later I had my hand flicked away again by Bryan.

like okay I’m happy he’s being straightforward with his feelings with me. like if he’s annoyed he’ll show it. AND I really like and appreciate that but sometimes he goes too harsh and I’m like urghhdskjhfldsajhfsdf

Anyways Cindy and the rest decided to eat dinner and like I thought Bryan was still angry with me so I didn’t join them cuz like I want Bryan to enjoy his meal but oh well. instead of studying while they were eating I took out Bteh’s old phone and went on tinder I had 7 other Bryan matches anyway lmao. I also shopped online and there’s alot of things I want to buy after all my exams are over. and omggggg I want this softball keychain its damn cuteeee it’s like only $2+ with shipping blahblah but yaaaaaassss I wna get ittttt. But right, after that it was like 6:30pm and I have to go home cuz “curfew”. (my parents never mentioned anything like curfew but everytime i step home after7:30 pm I will be like scolded and tadaaaaa urghsdfnbsdf;kjf;kdf)

16/02

I finally got my contact lensees. yayyyy I can finally wear them to training and I wouldn’t feel as insecure again. people also say that I look uglier without contacts on sooooooo,sighhhh. and sometimes Bryan would joke about me being ugly without contacts and that’s when I get insecure the most. also like at times, he would tell me about how he finds a certain girl pretty on ig and ill get insecure and jealous shit like wtf but yeah. but like, I appreciate he’s being honest too but I do get like sad and insecure when he talk abt how pretty other girls are. like Angeline okay omg I hate it the most when he talks abt fantasizing Angeline I hate that shit. like normally ill just be sad. but like Angeline, I get triggered whenever he talks abt her. but like again I appreciate and like his honesty, he tells me stuff but I also can’t help but feel insecure and sad tbh idk what I want lmao. maybe girls are confusing after all.

17/02

Bryan started watching pewdiepie play undertale. he was kinda scared too but like I guess undertale is not as scary as five nights of Freddie’s but it tends to scare a person emotionally soooooo lol okay. I’ve asked Bryan to watch Flowey’s boss fight but he didn’t want to cuz he kinda didn’t want spoilers and like wanted to watch it in order. but oh well, in the end, he spent his money on undertale and he didn’t play the game apparently cuz he didn’t found it fun as he watched all the spoilers and now finding it boring with. I asked him to play geno but he also didn’t want to screw to game up. he wanted to start with pacific/neutral but he found it boring so sighhhhh.

19/02

it was grading today I was vvvv nervousss. it is like legit my grading in 10years. And apparently now is non contact???? contact used to be allowed in sparring for gradings welllll. so I was huhhhh no head kick huhhh and also went like waitttt no contact???? Kim mdm heard me and she like snapped at me saying: yes laa u so long never grading meh? (well I wanted to talk back and said like welll it has been 10years since my last grading, but hahahaha no balls) no beef with kim mdm shes nice, im okay with her but I think she was triggered during that grading day. There was this girl, like I don’t personally know her (ig name aka beaticecwl??????) but she asked kim mdm smthing and idk what kim mdm snapped back but I saw this Beatrice mouthing wtf as she looked away lmaoo. still no beef with her tho I’m totally alright with her.

And then for grading, I made this mistake for my red belt pattern I screwed up like wtf omg I didn’t put my feet close tgt and that Indian judge/referee ( lmao idk what to call him) pointed out my mistake and I was like shittttttt.

after that, i had to sparr with this another girl and then sparr with RAPHAELLLL?????? I was like wtf what this fucking Indian guy doing. even it is like a non contact thing its like wtfff still unfairrr. also after i was done with the whole thing, everyone told me like that indian guy kept looking at me. so much so that he missed joseph doing some fancy kick, i forgot what kick he did but lmao that Indian guy, fking black face, like this means two ways but hahahaha ok.

After grading i just went to bishan library to study with him. it was like a vvv nice library okay next time i wna study with Bryan there.

20/02

exams are tmr and I know no matter how much I study now, I still will fail lmaoooo sighhhhh. But anyways Bryan and I ended upp shopping at bishan and welppppp we bought lego characters tgttt yayyy. the lego store was like closing down so it had sales .and omg lego characs are fucking cute I cannot I want more of them but what is money :’)

Edit: so our first lego charcater we got tgt was supergirl and superman heheheeeee

21/02

The first thing I woke up was to remember that it was Justin’s birthday. although like we don’t even talk anymore and I also can’t ignore the fact that Justin hates me,but I still rmb the days when he was a vvvvv good friend of mine and I guess i really appreciated him sooo :’) i wished him hbdae and like well, he didn’t even want a convo with me he just replied: errr okay thanks. oh wellll.

well so im officially done with math exam, i didnt do well i guess, but i couldnt say i did bad either,i did mehhhh, maybe a fail or a boderline pass. idk lmao i hope i pass for math :)))

Also today I saw Xavier in nyp at first I was kinda excited seeing an old classmate so i rushed in and called his name and said hi before even thinking. well i wasat least expecting a fake smile and a hi, but instead he just turned around, saw me, and went like, “oh, ewwww?”. and then at that moment Bryan was also there and i feel so bad like idc if I’m exaggerating but like I felt ugly immediately like wtf Xavier is a piece of shit i wish that he would die lmao. he’s a fucked up fuckboy like wtf he dumped his ex for another girl in poly Xavier should die. so anyways after he said likee “ewwww” I’ve never felt so ugly in my life before like tbh i want to cover my face and just dig a hole and cry in the toilet. im like insecure and the way he Xavier replied me; I just wanted to kill him. i got fucking angry while im feeling also fucking lousy about myself. I wanted to like run to xavier and smack his girlfriend although she did nothing then punch the hell out of xavier. but lmao i have no balls and I rmbered that xavier is some muay thai champion somewhere lmao idc and he has a lot of yaknoooowww friends so i shouldn’t like mess with him and stuff. but at my end ,i was like near to my tears and fuck ive never hated Xavier this much before like what did I seriously do to Xavier back in sec sch.

like back in sec sch, at a point of time when all the boys were making fun of me and stuff I was a little disappointed and upset that Geralyn was still talking and having fun with those boys. like esp Xavier and Christopher. like tbvvvvh i just stopped hanging out with them for awhile cuz like everyone found christopher cute and goodlooking, and chrisopther was making fun of me and stuff.

okay, I’ve never talked about this before and I really don’t want to but I guess I should like just say it. so it was Christopher who started making fun of me. I never knew why but I guess because I dated his brother K and well. maybe they both salty so they want to make my life a living hell. and at first, everyone else was okay with me. and Christopher, being a goodlooking guy, he became popular and well more guy wanted to like click and hang out with him. so to gain more attention Christopher decided to make fun of me more so he can bring me down and make himself look better. and also dianwei, he never had any friends so he had to also make fun of me so he could click with Christopher. I seriously don’t blame them, like they did this to survive school LMAO I BLAME THEM THEY CAN JUST DIE LMAO UNTIL NOW I HOLD GRUDGES. I WAS LITERALLY BULLIED LOL I DONT WANT TO SAY ‘BULLY’ CUZ LIKE FUCK IM SO ANGRY TYPING THIS RN. but yea after the end of sec 4 I just finally asked jashap and euan like: why do the guys in class hate me so much, what did I ever do to them and why are they just so mean to me. Then jashap and euan said like: “ is not I say one ah, the rest of the guys said that they don’t like you cuz you think you cute, but I think it’s a bullshit excuse la. you sometimes think you cute but I think Geralyn worse ley. I only think you cocky in sports but that’s all right cuz you’re really good and I understand if you get a little cocky.” and I srsly think it’s a bullshit excuse also.

I just feel insecure la. like if this wouldn’t happen in sec sch I wouldn’t be so insecure I will be like fucking confident, ill know my worth welllll i know I’m just decent looking i mean like seriously i dont wna tell myself otherwise but i tend to tell myself that im ugly and stuff. nvm i dont even understand myself rn. anyways even when Dianwei, xavier and christopher were making fun of me geralyn,wuli and emilyn always seemed to have fun with those boys and they always hangout and im always felt left out. cuz if i try to like join them christopher ,D and X will always like: eh, can ask her go away. fuck them even after i go away they W,G&E will still talk with the boys and im like nvm.

And then everytime i try to tell geralyn how i feel, like: eh geralyn im sad and blahblahblah, then she would like brush it off and reply things like: its okay laaa. and ill be like (in my brain: WHAT DO U MEAN ITS OKAY LOLLL) Ookay i cant blame gerlayn. Shes pretty, everyone wants to hangout with her, be her friend. all the guys wants to talk with her and stuff. so i cant really blame her when she has to choose sides like me or the guys. and i know geralyn is a nice girl and she wont just give up on one side. She will like try to make continue being friends with both side. and i think this would one day bring Geralyn to her downfall. Like for geralyn, she must stop being so nice and seriously choose a side she thinks benefit her. she cannot choose 2 conflicting sides and make freinds with both like its really difficult to to see each other fight while youre friends with both. even if history were to repeat again, i would want geralyn to pick a side. even she would stop being friends with me i rather have it that way then she try to be friends with 2 conflicting side. i would understand geralyn if she didnt pick me and i wouldnt blame her, really.

23/2

Today is Tammy’s bdae and shes also a vvv good friend. well we dont talk much anymore. but we used to click with each other since she was into horoscopes, anime and welllllll same stuff as meeee???

well bryan and i also decided to study today at bishan library and instead we went shopping again like omg istg we have the worst self control ever. we decided to just watch the SAO movie, the ordinal scale one. Anyways we went to that lego shop on sale again before the movie started and i bought batgirl and batman, bryan bought batman, joker & a box of nexo knights lego set. lmao istg bryan is still like a cute little kid. you should see his face when he fixes legos its just so cute lmaoooo. right now i just want to collect alot of lego characters omgggg welpppppp

after i went home,i tried studying for cep but lmao, i was alr in like holiday mood and like even if i studied it wouldn't srsly help la.

Anyways about the sao movie it was nice like i had feels but much of it was like confusing and lmao idk but yeah it was nice but lol kirito jesus-kun againnn. I wanted to watch sao with Tammy’ for her bdae but like fuck i damn lazy and tbvh i dont want to spend time with people who are no longer close to me. like i see no reason to like hangout with them. its awkward even after yall talk out of 'how’s life been’ and its just awkward so mehhhh. like if it’s yile or wuli or geralyn, its okay and it wouldnt be as awkward. i mean, i think im awkward to like almost everyone like, i cant keep the conversation going i have nothing to say and most of the times i dont initiate the conversation and it feels like i didnt put in the effort to like talk to them but sigh oh weeeeellllsss.

(but i really studied because bryan motivated me but like i accidentaly slept at 2am. siannnn faail laaaaa

lmao repeat sem alrrrr sighurghslfdkjhfdsakf)

anyways my father is like listening to some chinese songs now like i dont understand the lyrics but the song is like so nice and touching i feel like crying

24/2

Today is like cep exam and duh i wasnt even alittle bit ready. so lmao i just did 3 conversion questions and i decided that im done with the paper. i cant even confirm that my conversions will be crrt but i was ready to fail this anyways sighhhh. i left the exam hall after an hour and went to the toilet and poo-ed. and while poo-ing i had a message from Wuli that she wanted to meet me. so yay, we met up and she passed me some care pakage thing (the pakaging was like srsly cute) so after that i walked home tgt with wuli then i walked back to the mrt to meet Bryan. And wtf it was raining heavily fuckkkkk and i couldnt go back home to take my umbrealla cuz my fking maid was at home urghas;fh;dsaf. well so i met up with Bteh to study (apparently to study) but we went to dhoby to weeb it out. Bryan got me that sonic charcater gacha from one punch man and omg its so cute. I love bteh so much like hes the sweetest thing ever (wheres that crying emoji)

anyways, i had my whatsapp updated,REGRETSSSSSS. wa is like more laggy now on my stupid xiaomi phone with all the whatsapp story and shit wtf. why everyone copy snapchat fucking lame siaaaaa.

and peeepoooo :(((((, when i went back homeeee, i realised one of my sawamura’s feet missing and im like sooo soooo soooooo saddd fuckkkk. i wna find blue tack or clay soon to make his feet.

25/02

its a saturday and wellll my 18th bdae isnt the best but it isnt one of the worst either. The best bdae would still be like 2 years ago which was my last softball game at Nationals back in sec 4 :DDD

lmao then tzewan told me that vincent made fun of me during lecture and well i cant believe he did that but oh weellll not everyone can be trusted. so much for trusting him and being such a good friend. i dont wna brag, but he fucking wouldnt get tgt with his ex if it wasnt for my help lmao what a bitch. i also realised that zane, vincent esp aloy didnt quite like a girl hanging out with them, so well i get left out everytime too. yaknow, after this, i feel that history might be repeating itself. first in sec sch, now in poly. isit like really my fault? like seriously, where did i went wrong. i mean i never had the same problem with girls before. but i didnt really quite like hanging out with girls soooo. its either im a loner arnd sch or i hang out with guys and end up having problems like this. so i told bryan like abt the whole thing abt vincent and then he got angry because he wanted me like to make a police report of him giving me sexual harassment HAHA out of revenge( vincent asked for sex like twice ). but lmao i no balls so bryan got angry. Bryan’s kinda cute when he get’s angry

only sometimes tho. actually last sem i was extremely motivated not to fail anything cuz i rlly dont want to like remodule and get seperated from jeffrey and vincent but oh well. now i dont mind remoduling cuz V,A and Z doesnt mean anything to me now.

and just when i thought i was gg to have a bad bdae, because of fucking vincent, well apparently i have other friends that would cheer me up. Bryan tried cheering me up, and i enjoyed the meal with my family too.

but tkd ppl made everything bttr like most of them wished me hbdae and yayyyyy it made me happpy soo :DDDD ck also sent a pm and like thats damn cute of ck to do soooo.

but like,im kinda salty and i envy how everyone bought regine a stuff toy and like celebrated and bought her a small cake like okayyyyyyy. LIKE I DONT GET IT IM CLOSER THAN YALL THEN REGINE IS TO YALL WTFFFFFFF. okayyy nvmmmmm

welllll i told my father i want to start learn how to crochet (so i also can make bryan stuff) he let me spent like alot items in daiso to buy yarns and stuff yayyyyyy.

26/27 of feb

I sneaked out of my house to see bryan. he ubered to aljunied’s mcd and he actually bought a star wars lego set and some rabbit woman from the batman lego movie. Well, we went to some void deck and he started fixing the lego thingy again. idk but he looks fucking cute when he does that?????

but okayyyy after that we ubered back to tpy and I waited for bryan to go back and shower until 5am. so like we didnt sleep the whole night and i feIt kinda guilty cuz it was like bryan’s exam and he was tired af. so after Bryan’s OC exam we went shopping and we went to like more lego shops and bought more lego characters :DDDDDDD like omg all i want to do now is to like collect lego characters :DDDDD and like we had to feel each packet for batman. i found harley quinn and yayyy. I also felt for a few batmans and yayyy i got someee. and andddd my junior said that she had all the harley quinns and she wanted to give it to me so yayyyyyyyy

28/02

so today is my last paper, it’s fucking ipc and lmaoooo im not ready for it. okay so i left the exam hall after an hour lmao its a sure fail i dont even know how to do anything.

BUT YAY exams are over and I can finally haveee funnnnn. So we went to like tpy’s the singpost thingy. Bryan was like gna collect smthing and I thought he was gg to get the phone cover that he bought. well turns out the parcel was for me its like something he bought for my bdae :DDDDD and like we went to pastamania to eat. fuckkkk i was like vvvvvv excited to open the thinggg. the pakaging felt like that it might be a mug. well, i gget to open the pakaging before eating andddddddddddd IM LIKE SO HAPPY Bryan got me a Toriel figure frm Undertale like fuck it’s so cute istg. I didn’t like really expect anything for my bdaeee presyy????? like I thought he gave me the sonic gacha alrrrrr. but tbh im afraid he spent quite alot money on me so urghksdhlkhfkdsf. AND I FOUND OUT THE SHOES COST HIM $200+ NOT $100+ FUCKKKK BRYAN WHY

So since we wanted discounts on the lego stuff we buy frm the lego store, we went to watch the batman lego movieee. so like if u show your ticket, you can become a member and you’ll have like 10???20??% off for like discounttt???? but yeahhhh Bryan got a membership and yayyyy. The movie was vvv funny and cute like omg I like Joker the most he’s damn cute????

fuck i bet this thingy is gna have alot of typo error i didnt even check the 3rd time but whatev i wanted to post it for a vvv long time but ok idc anymo :D

dont ask me why im spamming here with lego gifs they are fking cute okaiiiiii

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