#the adventures of bouncey and comfy

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

More Little Raccoon Crimes

lmao okay someone said they wanted me to write a follow up to this lovely fic right here (where Bouncey and I break into Henner’s house to redecorate) and im feelin the chaos vibes tonight so here you go 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Warnings: all of this is illegal and frowned upon. plz don’t break into anyone’s house even if it’s to leave gifts, this is pure nonsense and just for funziez, also swearing bc of who i am as a person

_____________

“We almost got the cops called on us last time! Why are we going back in?!” Tadhg was gripping the back of Regan’s sweatshirt as they crept in the backdoor of the cute little cottage they’d redecorated the last time they were there. 

“I have it on semi-reliable authority he’s out of the country. We’ll just leave him the dutch oven and maybe hide the suits he insists on wearing even though they’re too small. If they’re like hanging or something.” Regan shrugged.

“He could stand to wear the blue tank tops a little more anyway.”

“You brought a 5 pack, didn’t you?”

Tadhg smiled and held up a tote bag, “Three.” 

“I love it.” 

The two intruders made quick work of folding and setting the tank tops in a nice pile on Mr. Cavill’s washing machine. This little adventure was sure to be less time consuming than painting his living room. 

“Shouldn’t we put them away?” Regan asked, grabbing one of the apples set out on his dining room table. 

“Dude. No. That’s super creepy. Like the stuff you study creepy,” Tadhg warned, “Even, I, a simple humanities major, know that’s a little wack.”

“So no looking for the ill-fitting suits then?”

“No. Feels too weird to go past the laundry room.”

“You’re the boss! I’m writing him a note, though. Boy has to have the money for a good tailor.” 

Tadhg rolled her eyes as she stuffed the tank top packaging into the bag they’d brought, “Take that apple with you too. In case he decides we took too many liberties this time.” 

Regan took a bite out of the apple and grinned, “You do listen to my rants!”

“Oo! Sign it, ‘The Get Your Shit Together Fairies’,” Tadhg was peering over Regan’s shoulder as she wrote, answering spelling questions and making her add a comma here and there. 

They set the note on top of the dutch oven with instructions to post it to instagram if he baked any sourdough before they crept back out the door. Everything was buttoned up and done with no sign of Henry coming home early so they took their time until Regan took another bite of the apple.

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“Who has fresh apples in the house then they’re out of the country?”

They stared at each other in horror for a moment before scrambling into their car and flooring it down the driveway. They’d made it onto the country road at just about sundown and felt like they could breathe easy, having pulled off another well intentioned, but still very illegal, break in. 

As they turned the corner, a taxi came by in the other direction.

Regan and Tadhg held their breath in giddy terror as Henry Cavill looked them dead in the eye with the unmistakable look of recognition in his eyes and a pronounced wifi signal above his eyebrows. 

Tadhg floored the accelerator and they sped off to safety screaming at the top of their lungs. 

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Is it too soft to give you a 'these are all the little ways you saved me from me' prompt? 💖💖💖

Oh yes. Thank you.

---

Geralt rolled onto his back and reached out his hand for Jaskier’s, tangling their fingers together with practiced ease. The bard gave a confident squeeze and Geralt squeezed back. 

“Thank you,” the Witcher murmured up to the starry sky. He heard the rustle of Jaskier’s hair moving as the bard tilted his head in Geralt’s direciton.

“For what?”

“Reminding me that I’m not a monster.”

“You never were and you never will be.”

The vehemence and determination in Jaskier’s voice never failed to melt the Witcher’s heart. His bard had never feared him. Never hated him. Never treated him like he was anything other than a friend and companion. Eventually, he’d treated him like a lover. 

Like any young man might treat his beloved. 

Geralt had never felt so cherished before and he reveled in the warm sensation that spread through his limbs when the bard was nearby. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jaskier asked, squeezing his hand again. Geralt tugged his darling close and kissed him sweetly, pouring all of his incredibly intense feelings into the one simple gesture. He wrapped himself around the younger man and hung on tightly. 

“You.”