#cube trainees

[seokmatthewz]

good morning this was for ME

[dream-launch]

Literally what is the point of hui being on boys planet like dude could be a fucking mentor???

[flops]

theres just no way this is true uhm ❤️

[sanstropfremir]

and if hui doesn’t get into the final lineup 🥲 he’s way too talented for cube to throw him in that stupid audition prog!!!!!

i'm gonna burn that company to the fucking GROUND

[ashxxgyu]

THRY ARE DIFF FONTS 😭

but like yes his visuals are magnificent 🤧 like they def get visuals from their mom cus she's pretty imo

also i could send you these twt videos 👀

and no I haven't 😭 i've been doing so much stuff 🤧

Ofc you can send those twt videos 👀

Their mom is gorgeous, I agree

(also Kamden is at FNC, it’s no surprise that his visuals/proportions are godly, cause have you seen SF9 and P1Harmony? Oof)

And ahh, cause I’m about to post my thoughts on ep 9 😭

[artemysfoulfandomposting]

thirsday and friday is so boring at work for me; the best person in the world- because mon tues weds are all for catching up and then time stands still

so why am i being punished for managing to not work on fridays; dont u bitches stress ur not paying me to sit around? i want my 40hrs give me money for completing my little tasks

[ilhoonftw]

juhyeon started training in cube at the same time as shinwon and as much as they have a very nice relationship...... she was like ... 10 ??????? i just hope she didn't spent all those years living in a dorm 😬 she was the most senior trainee for years

[jisungshotfirst]

Toku anon: so speaking of the Kpop survival show with Hui in it, I have some questions about Kpop survival/predebut shows in general.

1. Why does everything seem so dramatic whenever I see clips of these shows? Are they always like this? I think the least-toxic-feeling one I've seen clips of was the Stray Kids one. And even then, there were some tense moments.

2.a. I've noticed that a group doesn't always seem to debut from the shows? Like, there was a clip of predebut Ateez on a show called Mix-Nine, but I don't think that was their show? Because I was told only some of them got near the end. And the YG boss guy was there for some reason? (At least, I think it's him? It was the same dude that showed up in one of the SKZ survival show episodes.) So then which group was that show for?

2.b. and then there's that show that some of the Cravity guys were in, that led to X1, but apparently X1 disbanded. But it must have happened fast, because the Cravity guys looked almost the same in those clips as when they debuted in Cravity. So what's going on there?

3. Not exactly a survival show question, but what was happening in that predebut Seventeen show with the green basement? On the one hand, it wasn't scary the way the survival shows were (none of the evil edits and that type of drama). And I don't mind the low video quality (I've watched a couple toku shows at 144p). But there's just. Just something that doesn't sit right. As if at any moment some narrator would start saying that these videos were the start of an urban-legend creepypasta. But that never happens.

4. So how often do the "losing" trainees end up going to another company (and maybe debuting)? Because on the one hand, some of these shows have around 100 contestants. But on the other hand, it does seem to happen sometimes (again, seeing Ateez, and half of Cravity. Those are the only ones I know of though.)

5. How often do these Hui Moments happen? As in, a musician who's in an arguably-active group appears as a contestant.

Ahh<3 the world of survival shows<3 I shall answer all ur questions my friend 😎

1. They are edited and written that dramatically because it is reality tv 💔 drama needs to happen for it to be entertaining (subjective ofc! but to producers it needs to be) and again it's reality tv so it needs to at least Seem real. So the editors use what footage they have and dramatise the Heck out of it or some things will be scripted. It will fully depend on the situation and show as to how much the trainees are made aware of all of this (most of the time I feel they are not to have more 'realistic' emotional outbursts). They come in a whole range of toxicity<3 like in the skz one they do kick out felix and minho for drama despite the fact I'm sure jype had the full intention to debut them all. But yeah there can be a lot worse or just different. No mercy is the show that debuted monsta x and I have literally only seen a handful of clips from it because i hear it's one of the toughest to watch, I am not emotionally strong enough. Survival shows are often that dramatic because it's produced as a competition, but run-up-to-debut shows? A lot of them I fucking Love. Because there can be drama but it's not over elimination, the tasks are team building/training skills ! Oneus/onewe and ateez had very fun ones and my BELOVED flower snack .. which was tbz predebut show and it was just them running a restaurant. So nothing to do with performing skills but it was extremely entertaining and was just about team-building and getting to know the members personalities!

2a . There are survival/elimination shows of 2 kinds - one where trainees are from multiple different companies and winners debut in a temporary group together before going back to their companies (eg. Produce series, MixNine). And another where the trainees are from one company, or the show is run by one company, and there are eliminations and the winners debut in a fixed group (eg. treasure box, i-land). And then there are debut/predebut/run-up-to-debut shows with the lineup already fixed (eg. codename is ateez, flower snack). And then there are the few that are technically predebut shows with a fixed lineup but pretend there are eliminations for drama/ have temporary eliminations (eg. stray kids, pentagon maker). I will make a little list here of whos from what!! Official groups are ones made through winning the competition. Follow-on are ones with many losing trainees, or formed by winning contestants but After the temporary group disbands

produce (4 seasons) = [an mnet show - the most watched survival show]

official groups: I.O.I, wanna one, iz*one, x1

follow-on groups: ab6ix, cix, oneus, wei, cravity, bae173, ive, lesserafim, wekimeki +

mixnine = [a show made between yang hyunsuk (yg guy) and jtbc (tv producer)]

(No official group coz their debut was cancelled - yg SUCKS)

follow-on groups: ateez, oneus, onf, a.c.e, treasure, itzy, loona +

other shows

ateez = codename is ateez, treasure = treasure box, oneus/onewe = i will debut, pentagon = pentagon maker, enhypen = i-land, twice = sixteen

yes, some groups are listed multiple times<3 either members went through multiple shows or the group split themselves up between them all.

2.b. so... x1 jnfnd btw anything opinionated here is my personal opinion and people are welcome to disagree! but personally x1 disbanding to quickly improved my life tenfold. x1 was a group made of the 11 top trainees at the end of produce season 4. produce has had a lot of controversy to do with voting fraud (just in season 3 and 4 as far as im aware) so it's very unlikely that the iz*one and X1 lineups where the actual true winners. but iz*one were well debuted by the time it blew up but x1 were just debuted and it was decided that they'd disband and the members went back to their companies. there were 5 starship boys in produce season 4, 4 who are in cravity, and 2 of who got into x1. because x1 disbanded, the 2 x1 boys went back to starship and cravity were able to debut as 9 when they did! which ofc means the world to me because i love them so dearly as they are. and speed was of the essence to try debut and put out music as quickly as possible to make everyone forget about the controversies so it did happen super fast! (x1 disbanded jan 2020, vity debuted april 2020)

3. DFGJFGD no seventeen were just weird <3 not a survival show but not quite the official line up because there's footage from before all svt members joined and also of this kid samuel was training to be in svt but didn't end up doing that. (which kinda thank god because he was literally way too young. also he later was in produce season 2 and choreographed my favourite stage<3). those predebut svt clips are insanity... like they r being weird because they're svt and a big group of teenage boys but also pledis sucks so they were probably being driven insane too. but we got incredible memes<3

4. very often!! the world of entertainment companies is rly small it seems and trainees quite often jump around but especially through competitions and stuff! because they gain attention from other companies who offer a contract etc. a fun little case study for this is kang seokhwa <3 so seokhwa was a YG trainee and was in treasure box survival show and eliminated. he then left YG and entered produce season 4 as an individual with no company. during produce he befriends yohan of oui entertainment and yohan is like 'bro, come join my company and we can debut together!'. seokhwa agrees but yohan wins produce so is put in x1.... but THEN x1 disband. Yohan is shipped back to oui and oh? seokhwas here now! and then they debut together in wei!! but yeah. trainees can audition for different companies and companies can scout people from survival shows. this wasnt the fact with ateez tho! they went into mixnine as kq trainees and went back to kq when they lost. also with cravity, 4 of the 5 starshipz in produce went back to starship and debuted in cravity, the other guy went to rain company and debuted in ciipher!

5. so the hui thing... there have been similar occurences! i think beginning with produce season 2 when 4 of the 100 trainees were members of nu'est, so already debuted. however, they hadn't been active in a long time and had it Very tough trying to prevent disbandment so them joining produce was somewhat of a "last chance" - and it WORKED! minhyun got into wanna one and promoted with them for a year or so, and the rest of nu'est released music while waiting for him and they had an increase in fans from being on produce! this has since been replicated to varying degrees of success (victon, up10tion). there's a possibility that hui being in boysplanet was an attempt at the same thing (my initial understanding) and that it was some kind of strategical move but I be confused as to why because pentagon are not the same as nu'est victon and up10tion... its not the same situation, pentagon are comparatively much more popular. But i think now, hui might've just... decided to go himself. i can't remember exactly but it was something shinwon said about trusting hui to do what we wants to so now i'm not as mad at cube (i always am a bit tho) but im confuzzled by hui's existence. like what is that man thinking.

i hope all ur questions were answered!! if u have more or want me to elaborate on anything please just hit me. I love talking about this shit

[dvrk-moon]

ENHYPEN ; 엔하이픈

HAVING AN IDOL S/O

requested : yes!!!

genre : fluff, crack

pairing : enhypen ot7 x fem!reader

warnings : cursing, this is long asfk LOL

HEESEUNG ; 희승

so you two trained together

and you mutually liked each other while training but didn’t really talk much

you ended up leaving bighit in early 2018 and going to train at cube instead

so you lost contact

but you ended up debuting as the maknae of (g)i-dle

and since you debuted before enhypen, you were more well known than they were initially

you were one of the more famous members in the group in korea, so your face was pretty inescapable

so imagine heeseung’s reaction when he sees a birthday ad for you for the first time

mind literally blown

so he’s like looking you and your group up to see if it’s really you (it is)

and he’s like damn i gotta get in contact with her again

but he doesn’t have an opportunity because even from a friends standpoint, he didn’t really have time because he had to focus on training and eventually going through i-land

ok skip forward and he’s debuted yay!!!!!

so you had a promotion period that’d lined up around a year and a half later where you made a duo debut with your member shuhua while enha was promoting manifesto

and heeseung saw you backstage once

between him seeing you for the first time up until that point he’d literally been trying to find out how to talk to you again

and this was his opportunity!

so before you went to perform heeseung approached you randomly

and lowkey you’d forgotten about heeseung until you saw him again lol

and you’re like oh hey… so awkward because what do you genuinely say to someone you haven’t talked to in like four years

but when you remember that he’s the heeseung that you talked to during your trainee days (the same heeseung you had a thing for) you are more willing to talk to him

but then your conversation is cut short because you have to go perform your song

when you come back, he’s still waiting for you :((((

like that man is COMMITTED to getting to talk to you again

so then after like thirty minutes of talking (right before he has to go promote his song) he finally gets the courage to ask for your number

and you’re like shit yeah

so he texts you like every day

and during your overlapping promotions, he tries to meet up with you backstage as frequently as possible

so eventually you gain feelings for him again (and he obviously does for you) and you start hanging out

but then he goes on tour for a while

you miss him a lot

and he misses you a lot

so when he comes back, he impulsively like picked you up while hugging and you’re like um okay MARRY ME

one hangout he finally asks you out (as more than friends) and you’re so excited

so you quickly begin dating :)

dating him is definitely like dating your number one supporter

like he makes it a point to meet you backstage (even if you don’t have an overlapping promotion) and he makes you teach him your choreography

and you’re like “heeseung i can teach you this at your or my dorm” and he’s like “nope i need everyone here to know that you only teach me your dances”

you’re like “???” but don’t question it bc he’s just odd

he prefers you to go over to his dorms because of his solo room but he’s not opposed to making friends with your members even though they’re all older than him

just know if you go over to enha’s dorms though they will 100% try to be around you all the time

and don’t get heeseung wrong, he obviously wanted the members to like you, but he also wasn’t anticipating his own girlfriend being stolen from him

you almost get caught by dispatch a couple times

but dispatch fr fr catches him at MAMA

like this man was so protective of his idol image for so long and the he watched your performance and dispatch was like “WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN”

does not gaf if you’re exposed tho bc he’s like “yup that’s my girlfriend suck it she’s MINE”

JAY ; 제이

so you debuted before him

by like a year and a half, so like january 2019

you were one of the members of itzy, which was the talk of the town for quite some time

and jay was actually a huge fan of your group since he was a trainee

your group had a few hit songs in korea but jay made it seem like every song of yours (yes this includes b sides)

you’d been his bias since your teaser dropped ofc

and he made it everyone’s problem to listen to your music during practice

even during i-land there were clips of him doing the shoulder move from ‘wannabe’

but i digress

so once his debut place is secured as of i-land episode 12 he was so excited that he might have the opportunity of meeting you

but like. he had to be normal about it

so he freaked out about you respectfully

but “respectfully” to him was mentioning you as his role model and ideal type

on like every variety program possible

like damn we get it!!!!

but your and his companies thought it would be just so silly and funny if they brought you out to meet him the next time he mentioned you

and so they did exactly that!!!

he was on weekly idol and all of a sudden you came out from where the staff were filming

he actually almost fainted on the spot

and you thought it was sooo cute that he was that flattered over meeting you

so you approached him and asked him for his number

cue him almost passing out pt 2

but you end up talking quite a bit

like u come visit him quite often and he comes to visit you

and he like is literally like the perfect talking stage

so it takes like zero time for you guys to actually start dating

but when he can’t visit you he’s texting you all the time

“your stage was so good how are you real”

always buying albums for each other for support

and he’s like $$ so he buys a ton of yours (and of his if you want some)

he gets so excited when he pulls your photocard and is so happy when you pull his because he thinks it’s fate

but the one time he caught riki’s photocard in the back of your phone he swapped it out for his almost immediately

he always jokes about his bias being yuna, and so you’ve started to make a point of saying your bias is jungwon and sunghoon

and because you did that you took a picture of you and jungwon once to send to him like “proof that my bias is jungwon”

that pic became his lock screen btw

you one time said that you were an enhypen fan and midzy and engene were freaking out

they were like “just date already smh”

little did they know that you already were!

JAKE ; 제이크

you were a year and a half their junior

and you debuted in kep1er

so the time that they were promoting blessed cursed you were promoting wa da da

and like you’d just debuted too

so you had just done a stage and were on your way to your groups van to go back to the dorms

and you go to enter the first black van you see with an open door

and instead of your members you’re met with jake sunghoon sunoo!

you turned red immediately and ran in the other direction to actually find your van where yujin, yeseo, chaehyun, and hiyyih were waiting for you

you told your members and they thought it was so funny

but jokes on them

because the very next week, jake had accidentally walked into your waiting room at mcountdown

who’s laughing now!!! (you are)

after the incident, he found you and came to apologize for walking in

and you were like “ohhh that’s so funny because i actually was the one who came into your van last week!”

but after the apologies were exchanged, you two ended up walking around backstage anyways and just talking about anything and everything

after you and your members had to go perform, jake just waited for you backstage

and once you were done performing you came back and talked to him more ! yay !

but then soon enha had to go on to perform b-c and by the time he came back, your group had already left :’(

it’s okay though because you left your phone number on a post-it that said “FOR JAKE” in their waiting room

enhypen teased him so hard but he was like whatever at least i got her number

so he texted you like almost immediately

soon after, you two texted like all the time and started meeting backstage whenever it was possible

jake asked you out for the first time right before you went on stage to perform and obviously you said yes

but when you went to perform, your voice was such a bright red color that it went viral amongst kep1ians (and later other fandoms)

after that stage, jake and you just sat and talked in the kep1er waiting room for sooooo long

he’s literally the biggest fan of your group

like he’s so open and genuine about how much he likes your group, and he always somehow has one of your songs on his recommendation playlists

and those songs will somehow always be sandwiched between the most beautiful love songs ever and it makes engenes go 🤨🤨

you also are open about being a fan of them

so basically your fans and his have already put two and two together very quickly

but the suspicions were confirmed when he posted a late-night river view picture on weverse and then you posted something extremely similar a couple days later

winning the idgaf war about people finding out though

like he’s like DONTTTT CAREEEEE <3 MY GF

he actually thinks it’d be better if people knew so that no one would try anything on you because you’re taken

SUNGHOON ; 성훈

you were the seventh member of ive, also known as wonyoung’s group

and like wonyoung is your bff

she knew you found sunghoon cute from all the times you’d asked her if you could come visit her on music bank days

so she wanted to play matchmaker!

(love me not reference?!?!)

anyways

she gets “sick” once and is like “hey y/n why don’t you stand in for me?”

and you’re like “yeah sure whatever idc it’s chill”

it’s not chill

for reference, sunghoon also thought it was going to be chill, because he had no idea that you were standing in for wonyoung

little did wonyoung know, sunghoon also found you very attractive

ofc he would’ve tried to get your number through wonyoung, but he was too introverted to even think about it

so when you get there, both of your faces are pretty red, but your cheeks at least cool down by the time you’re recording

his do not 😭

he’s like sneaking looks at you and shit

he thought he was being so subtle too about it like bye 😭😭

but fans love the interactions!!!!

and they’re sooooo stoked to have jungwon sunoo and sunghoon on the radio that you host after the fact

sunghoon fucking DRESSES for the occasion too like damn

and like you made a point to be like “nice outfit”

on the outside he was like “yeah it’s whatever” but on the inside he was shitting his pants

anyways

and so you asked him for his number because you wanted “fashion tips” (you’re a liar)

so the first time he asks you out he’s like “let me style u an outfit”

and then while doing that he’s like “let’s date!”

and you’re like “well alright”

(jk u were just as stoked)

and dating him is so relieving

because you don’t have to keep the relationship (at least beyond friends) a secret

fans love the interactions

and so when you guys actually announce the relationship everyone is so hyped

like they already expected it

but still

he never misses an opportunity to talk about you on live or on a variety show

the interviewer is like “so, sunghoon, what was your favorite part of this comeback?”

he thinks for a second. then all of a sudden, “well y/n-”

like bro we get it

he just does not even care tho bc he’s so down bad

SUNOO ; 선우

okay now so remember when sunoo was a radio dj?

yeah

so you debuted in billlie, and your song, gingamingayo had just been released

and sunoo had heard it quite a few times already on his dj show

and he’s like “ok damn i get it let me look up the song”

he became a fan so quickly

like learned the choreo and everything

so the following week on the radio show he’s like “oh have you guys heard this song it’s so good actually i’m a fan of this group”

and then BOOM next week you’re on the show he radio djs for

chemistry between u guys went CRAZY

and then you filmed a tiktok together

and posted it like a week after the radio episode had gone viral

engenes and belllie’ves went crazy

you guys had already exchanged numbers at that point too

so getting to laugh about your fans freaking out was super fun to you two

you started visiting him at radio show schedules in secret after the fact

so he ends up asking you out about a month later

and ofc you say yes

so once you started dating, he would visit you at your schedules a lot

you would often pretend to be a staff member at the radio show so you could be there without raising much question

but then one time you were a “special guest” on the radio show again, and you filmed another tiktok, but this time it wasn’t like one of your group’s dance challenges

it was like a cute trend

so once you got the okay to post it, you did

this confirmed to engenes and belllie’ves that you were friends at the very least

he always finds a way to sing your songs on live

doesn’t ever sing when it’s your part though 🤨🤨🤨 it’s almost like he wants to hear your voice

one time he came to one of your fansigns “anonymously”

people found out it was him so quickly 😭

he’s so shameless about people knowing though

after that, fans basically already know you’re dating even if you don’t outright say anything

nobody actually cares though

they’re just waiting for that third y/noo tiktok 🙏

JUNGWON ; 정원

you debuted in illit, as a result of the belift survival show “r u next?”

you came in first place, just like jungwon did on i-land

so naturally, under the same sublabel, illit and enhypen passed each other quite frequently

you’ve actually interacted quite a bit with the other members

but for some reason, their leader was a bit standoffish to you

and you had absolutely no idea why he would be

you thought that maybe it was because you’d also come in first place on your respective survival show, so maybe he had one sided beef with you?

it didn’t make sense but that’s just what you assumed

actually ☝️🤓 jungwon had a big fat crush on you

and had no idea what to do about it

like he secretly supported you on r u next? and everything

so eventually, belift decides to make a variety show for illit and enha

as the first place winners, you two are paired together, along with your japanese maknaes, ni-ki and iroha

iroha and ni-ki were already acquainted, so iroha told ni-ki about how funny it was that you and jungwon were in the same group, given that jungwon hated you

and ni-ki’s like ?!

so he like goes up to jungwon and is like “she thinks you hate her bro”

he’s so embarrassed to find out that you thought he hated you

ni-ki teases him so hard about it

so eventually jungwon admits to you (off-camera) that he doesn’t hate you, and in fact he’s quite fond of you

it lifts the biggest weight off his chest when you also admit that you’re fond of him, and that he was your role model ever since you’d joined r u next?

after filming, you two exchange numbers

he’s such a baby like seriously how could you think he hated you

it doesn’t take long AT ALL for you to start dating

in fact hybe/belift encourages it because they think it’ll be good exposure for both groups

and it highkey is

in korea, you guys gain the title of “first place couple” and omgggg knetz eat that up

you’re invited on a ton of variety shows together

jungwon is sooooo so supportive and is lowkey a stan of your group

he like sends you your fancams and is like “teach me this dance pls”

when your two groups pass each other in the hallways, enha and illit always make it a point to tease you two

you guys don’t mind though because at least you have each other ☝️☝️

RIKI ; 니키

you debuted as the maknae of loona

so you’d been in the industry a few years longer than enhypen had

so riki knew of you, but you weren’t super familiar with them

but the both of you were invited onto a variety program for foreign idols

you ended up becoming more familiar with them after being paired together with riki for a couple challenges

one interaction you had made you two go completely viral after executing a twice choreography together extremely well

both bbc and belift saw this as an opportunity to make some money, so they kinda forced you and riki to get close

little did they know that’s what you both wanted anyways lol

so like you’ll have a live with him

or you’ll film a tiktok together

or you’ll post something together

etc

somewhere along the lines you two start dating in secret

namely after you two filmed a live together

and he saw one of the comments that said “y/n please do perfect idol challenge” and you started doing the perfect idol dance on live

you started giggling because you started to forget the dance because you were embarrassed and he was smiling like a fucking maniac and then he realized he really really liked you more than a friend

and so soon after he didn’t wanna waste any more time and he just confessed that he liked you

and you were like “no way me too!!!!”

(everyone could tell)

it wasn’t super in secret though

because belift/bbc had that “bffs for life” image for you two

so you could interact freely

it just took every bone in riki’s body to not grab your hand and pull you into his arms during a dance live

but then womp womp

dispatch exposes you guys like four months into the relationship

no one cares though (except delulu fans)

so when you terminate your contract with bbc for the mistreatment, engenes beg you to audition for hybe/belift because they’re afraid if you go somewhere else you won’t be able to interact freely with him anymore and they love your interactions

you end up joining ctd, which is the company of one of the post-loona acts, along with five of your ex-members

luckily ctd is a good company so they let you and riki still stay together and still have your lives

one time riki was doing a weverse live and you showed up

and fans absolutely LOVED it

ctd is an unknown company so they unexpectedly got a lot more sales with this relationship

they were like DAMN OK

anyways

you guys teach each other your choreos A LOT

like a lot

riki eats them up so bad like fans start saying he’s the seventh member of your group 😭

a/n : had to include illit in this somehow i love them they’re so cute. sorry for the lack of posts i am sooooooo fucking busy and this was in the drafts for forever

[liinos]

cube will be like is no one else going to be a useless excuse for a company and not wait for an answer

[dongyoungstan]

luckily i was never going to watch that show but maybe i’ll blacklist it too and pretend this never happened 🤔

[kkuramyeons]

five times – idol!sakura miyawaki x idol!reader

⋆ four times the idol wanted to give you her number + the one time she did.

pairing: sakura miyawaki x gidle!reader

info: idol! x idol! au, reader is a 00’ liner, and has been down bad for sakura for years despite being known as a playgirl amongst the industry, sakura is also down bad but can’t seem to take the hint or make a move, pining, fluff, gay panic.

wordcount: 2.2k

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i.  the people are talking (let them talk)

“y/n-nnie! tell neverland what you’re most excited about attending the golden disk awards!” ushered minnie as she waved you over to where staff where recording a behind the scenes for your channel’s I-talk.

“aside from our $$$ perfomance and award nomination… i’m very excited to see if I can meet iz*one, i’m a big fan!” you excitedly replied as you sat down on the couch next to minnie.

“oh, is that so?” the older girl smirked as she watched you get flustered at her answer.

before you could reply, a booming voice came from the other side of the room, “yah! y/n-nnie is only excited because she has a huge crush on saku-“ yuqi started, but was cut off by soojin, who ushered her to stop teasing you.

“yah! stop teasing, unnie!” came your reply as your face flushed red, almost having your private business aired to the public.

the teasing continued in the background between you and yuqi while minnie, shuhua and soojin tried to distract the camera by answering more questions and making conversation.

⁂

flashes and shouts from the paparazzi filled the air as iz*one made their way towards the red carpet of the 33rd golden disk awards, excitement buzzing through the members as they posed for the cameras, directed by the mc.

after expressing their feelings on the rookie award nomination, and striking some more poses, the group made their way down the carpet and into the venue, as fans and more paparazzi shouted questions at them.

as sakura made her way behind hyewon, someone had asked her what she thought about g-idle’s performance the day before, to which she curtly replied that she loved it, mentioning your short rap as her favorite part of the performance.

finally, inside the venue, sakura sat down in her assigned seat, when chaeyeon asked if she knew you.

“eh?” came the reply from the japanese idol.

“i’m just saying, someone told me y/n unnie is fond of you. if you want to meet her, just let me know,” shrugged the blonde.

“are you guys talking about y/n?” came a hushed whisper from nako. “i heard she’s  already in a dating rumor with a trainee from jyp, you should be careful with a girl like that unnie.”

“i don’t even know her, she’s just interesting, that’s all” sakura replied, playing with the gem of her dress.

“well, she seems sweet. so, if you ever want to meet her, just let me know,” replied chaeyeon as the conversation switched topics.

“maybe I will,” mumbled sakura, switching her attention to the start of the award show, trying to pay no mind to the hushed whispers around her.

ii.  the puppy interview

after months of hard work and preparing for a comeback, calvin klein had contacted you to become a brand ambassador, with the opportunity to work alongside other idols and well-known photographers in the industry.

you had ambassador offers from gucci, fendi, and savage x fenti, to name a few. known for your visuals, rapping and producer skills (often called a mini soyeon because of this), you wanted something else to add to your list of things you brought to the table. when working with a label like cube, you had to be prepared to keep the lights on in the building, alongside your members, of course.

and that’s how you ended up doing some solo promotions in the states, as well as promoting your first english single and collaboration with calvin klein.

you sat in a blank set, sitting on the floor with a pastel pink backdrop in the back, trying to make sure every puppy in front of you was equally petted and cared for.

“ah! this is a good question, and believe it or not, I don’t think we get this one very often,” you said in an amused tone as you read it out loud to the cameras in front of you.

“who’s your celebrity crush?” smirking, you picked up one of the puppies and set it in your lap, while grabbing another to do the same.

“hm, I would have to say sakura from le sserafim. she recently changed her hair and I think it makes her look very beautiful. really brings out her eyes,” you mused, hands already busy with searching for another question from the bowl, excited to see how your members and fans would react to the answer.

⁂

the le sserafim members were all sat around a table, cameras pointed at them as they read some comments on live while eating several snacks.

“oh! kkura unnie!” exclaimed eunchae with a grin as she passed snacks to kazuha who accepted them with open arms.

“hm?” came the short reply from the oldest member.

“someone is asking how you reacted at y/n sunbaenim revealing that you were her celebrity crush!”

suddenly, four pair of eyes were on the oldest member, since everyone knew about sakura’s evident crush on you.

“eh?! oh… i was very flattered,” the oldest replied while seemingly trying to keep herself busy with some chips, as her face flushed from the sudden attention on her.

“you should exchange numb-“ yunjin’s loud reply from the other side of the table came, chaewon quickly cutting her off with reading another comment from the section, not really wanting any of her members in a dating scandal so early into their career as a group.

sakura spared a thankful glance at the leader, thinking that maybe, yunjin was right, and that she should remind herself to ask chaewon to give miyeon her number so she could pass it on to you.

iii.  run in at hybe

“they really had to leave me in the back of this building, damn” you grumbled as you made your way through the back corridors of the hybe building, in search of the studio where new jeans would be at, so you could help them record some songs for their upcoming album.

after walking around the same spot for a few minutes, you impatiently grabbed your phone from your pocket and started searching for the other producer’s number so you could ask for directions, seeing as your incredible sense of direction was getting you nowhere.

what you didn’t account for though, was literally bumping into what you thought was a wall while you made your way inside the building with your nose stuck in your phone.

“i’m so sorry for bumping into you like that!” exclaimed a voice, hand outstretched to help you up from the floor.

“oh! that’s …” you trailed off, staring up at big doe eyes while you got up from the floor.

regaining your composure and with both feet planted on the floor, you gave an amused grin to the woman in front you.

“it’s a pleasure to finally see you in person, sakura,” you greeted, bowing your head at the older idol.

flustered and with the tip of her ears turning red, the black-haired woman let out a weak chuckle before greeting you back, asking if you needed any directions or any help from her.

when you explained your visit’s purpose, sakura wasted no time in directing you to where new jeans would be at, making small talk on the way to the recording room.

the older woman dropped you off a few doors down from your destination, since her practice room was on the way, and she needed to get back to her training schedule.

watching as your figure entered the studio, she slowly started to enter her designated practice room, pausing when you winked at her before closing the door to the studio and making your way fully inside.

arriving back to practice all red and flustered, sakura slid inside the practice room and leaned against the nearest wall, sighing with her right hand on her chest, near her heart, trying to control her erratic heartbeat as she processed what had just happened, and how she didn’t get your number- again.

iv.  jennifer huh strikes again

“okay, hanni , could you sing that line again? I want it to sound more light, airy even.” you instructed the new jeans member from the other side of the recording booth, after volunteering to help produce one of your written songs and another track for the group’s debut album.

you received a thumbs up, which was a signal that the younger idol was ready to give it another go.

“meet me back in five if i matter… to you,” sang the idol, meeting your eyes after that last take.

“perfect! it’s exactly how i pictured it sounding in my head!” came your reply in the recording booth, as you all headed outside the booth for a much-needed break after a day of introductions and recordings. you made it clear to the team behind the album that you wanted the members involved in the process of creating their album, even offering them a chance to write and edit some of your drafts.

“i’ll get some coffee and i’ll be back in 15 to wrap up for today,” you said as you passed the younger idols, with everyone’s coffee orders in hand.

once you opened the door to leave, you were met with jet black hair and a tall female figure at the door.

“hello! y/n sunbaenim! my name is huh yunjin from le sserafim, and after hearing you were here today, I wanted to introduce myself and give you my number to see if you would be interested in helping me produce and record one of my songs,” said the idol with a deep bow.

“oh! hello yunjin. it’s something i might be interested in. since i’m in a rush today, let me give you my number and just text me the demos you have so far and I’ll listen when I can and get back to you, does that sound good?”

the younger girl rapidly nodded her head while shaky hands wrote down your contact information.

with a wave and a small smile, you made your way to the nearest cafe.

yunjin quickly texted the group chat, in disbelief that she actually succeeded her goal.

still a bit nervous from the interaction, yunjin giggled as sakura’s reply lit up her screen.

from: hot girl yunjin

to fearless idols

i’ve done in five minutes what sakura couldn’t do in three years.

from: gaymer kkura

to: fearless idols

i hope the label doesn’t mind having four members.

from: cutest maknae

to: fearless idols

no unnie don’t leave us! T.T

from: gaymer kkura

to: fearless idols

who said i was the one leaving?

v. eunchae’s star diary

after wrapping up the interview with shuhua, eunchae looked around to see if the staff were focused on the two maknaes, but since everyone was busy giving thank yous and

wrapping up, the black-haired girl moved towards her guest with a piece of paper in between her index finger and thumb.

“shuhua unnie! thank you so much for being on the show, I have something to give you before you leave!” the youngest of the two exclaimed as she walked the raven-haired girl outside the filming room.

“ah, eunchae-ssi, thank you for the invitation. that reminds me, I have something for you as well!” the oldest smiled, pulling a piece of crumbled paper out of her hoodie pocket.

eunchae’s eyes widened in anticipation, as she reminded herself of the task at hand, which was to get her oldest unnie a girlfriend (hopefully).

“this is from y/n-nnie, for sakura sunbae,” shuhua whispered as she handed the paper slip to eunchae.

“oh! this is from sakura unnie to y/n sunbaenim as well!” eunchae grinned as both maknaes exchanged paper slips.

“huh, who would’ve thought they had the guts to contact each other,” shuhua giggled as she looked at eunchae with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“mhm, who wouldve thought. good for them though, right?” asked eunchae as she smirked at the oldest of the two.

“mhm. good for them…” shuhua trailed off, being waved over by her manager, signaling that it was time to leave.

“well! thank you again eunchae! you have my number if you need anything! i’m positive we succeeded this time! fighting!” trailed off shuhua as she made her way to the exit along the long corridor.

the youngest giggled at her antics and waved her off, delighted that her plan would surely succeed.

+1 bonus:

from: unknown

hey, it’s sakura. eunchae said shuhua gave me your number?

to: sakura the loml

we meet again, sakura-ssi. funny thing, shuhua said eunchae gave her your number to pass along to me. it’s interesting how things work out, huh?  

[malum-forev]

Have Had You and Lost You

I promise I'm uploading Dr.Bee pt 2 after this one, sorry to everyone who was expecting that one but I CANNOT GET OVER EX HUSBAND BUCKY.

"You'll find the juice boxes on the second shelf," You hurry around your kitchen, heels in one hand and your perfume in the other one. "He likes his juice decanted and he'll probably tell you he likes it room temperature but, Wells thinks room temperature means a little cold so you need to put one ice cube in his sippy cup."

Bucky nods, trying his hardest not to laugh. "Decant, room temperature. When did our five year old become a restaurant critic."

"Sometimes I'm afraid we made a mistake by letting him hang out at the Stark mansion." You laugh. "Every time I pick him up, he's learnt a new word and needs to use it at least three times in every sentence."

"Last time he was at my house he called Bluey exquisite." Bucky throws his head back with laughter. As soon as the sound hits your ears you truly feel, for a second, the world has stopped.

It's that same uninhibited laugh that made you fall in love with him all those years ago. You knew his years of torment had built a tall wall around his heart, and having him share these relaxed moments with you meant the world. That laugh was a special thing only the two of you shared.

But reality settled in once he asked the question you've been avoiding.

"So, who is he?"

Your bottom lip became trapped between your teeth as you thought how to answer his question. His blue eyes shifted all over your face, trying to read any expression you gave him.

Maybe you should have told him the truth but, you had been finally getting along after a long and tiresome divorce. So, you decided on a happy medium, no answer at all.

"Hmm," Bucky scratches the stubble on his chin. "You don't want to tell me his name."

"I never said that." You point out, feeling the vein on your temple throb.

"Your tell is a traitor," Bucky hums, running the back of his finger on your temple. "Maybe you don't want to tell me because I know him."

"He's no one." You turned away from him.

"You were never a good liar," Bucky says with a dry laugh. "So, I do know him."

"It's hard for you to not know someone in town, Buck."

"He's someone from around here, then." Bucky's eyebrows shot up.

He has to give it to the mystery man, never in his life did he think someone would have the balls to ask his ex wife on a date. Especially not someone who works in the compound.

Bucky and you had decided it would be best if you and Wells kept living close to him, so the change wouldn't affect your son too much. You'd decided on the town closest to the compound. A sleepy town, a couple of thousand habitants, mostly ex SHEILD agents and their families.

"You're really not going to tell me anything about the guy?"

You slip your heels on, keeping your lips shut.

"Is he a doctor? A nurse?" You roll your eyes.

He continues. "Is he in tech?"

"Better yet!" Bucky snaps his fingers like he's just had the idea of the century. "He's a trainee and I'm his direct superior. That would be the cherry on top."

"We've been on a couple of dates," You finally say something. "Three to be exact."

Bucky raises his eyebrows. "The coveted fourth date."

"Don't." You roll your eyes. "It's not like that."

"I'm not judging," He raises his arms in defense. "I understand you need to get your fix, we're all human, doll."

You groan.

"What?" Bucky comes closer, a sly smile playing on his lips. "You can talk about your sex life with me, darling. I'm not the jealous type."

"Bucky," You say, your tone warning. "you can't be the jealous type."

"There isn't anything here," You wave your finger between the two of you. "To be jealous of."

As you look back up at him, his smile seems forced. Bucky tries to keep his cool attitude up but, you know him too well to believe it.

"I left some money on the countertop so you can order pizza." You change the subject, feeling the air become tense.

"Don't treat me like I'm the sitter." Bucky scoffs. "Wells is my son too, and I can most certainly pay for a pizza."

"I- I" You stuttered. Trying to rack your brain for an apology, maybe explain that you didn't mean it like that but it was cut short by two honks coming from your driveway.

"He can't even ring the fucking doorbell," He scoffs again. "What a catch."

You turn and leave without speaking another word to your ex husband.

As hard as you tried, you couldn't get Bucky's words out of your head. It wasn't helping that your date was more interested in talking about himself and his recent promotion than even asking how your day went.

When had life become this way?

Once upon a time you were a woman who wouldn't settle for less than perfection and respect when looking for a man. You'd even walked out on a fair share of "New York's Elite", which usually meant men working in the finance district who think their dick is holy.

Which is why, when the ever so charming and chivalrous James Buchanan Barnes came into your life, you swore off stupid and unappreciative men.

Now, you're ordering your third glass of wine just so you can bare listening to the man you've accepted a fourth date from.

The dish you've ordered is now cold, and you're in no mood to listen to another word.

And just like that, your guardian angel answers your prayers.

Your phone lights up with a text from Bucky.

Bucky: Wells is fine, fed and asleep. Answer the call if you need to get out of the date.

Not even a few seconds later, your phone rings.

You barely have any time to decide whether you should do this or not. But your body reacts faster than your brain.

"Hello?" You answer shakily, holding a finger up to your date.

"Is he a field agent or a computers guy." Is the first thing Bucky says.

"Wells has a fever? Is he okay?" You say.

"That bad of a date, huh?" Bucky says through the receiver.

Bad date was an understatement. Your date couldn't care less that your son was feeling under the weather, he was too preoccupied looking over the dessert menu. But not even if hell froze over would you tell Bucky that!

"I think it's best if I come back home." You tell your date, getting up from your chair with your bag and coat in hand.

"Wait! One last guess!" Bucky says on the phone. "He's the guy who's in charge of sharpening my knives."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." You mutter, hanging up the phone and leaving your date behind.

By the time you're back home, Bucky's leaning on the door frame holding two glasses of wine, waiting for you.

You shut the taxi's door and walk past your ex husband and into your house.

"Not a single word." You warn as you pass by Bucky, taking both glasses. You down the first one and get started on the second one.

"Should I keep guessing who the mystery man is or..."

"He's part of Banner's research team," You groan throwing your head back. "There, happy?"

"Happy that the mother of my child is dating some loser who can't even come to the door for her?" Bucky raises his eyebrow. "Of course I'm not happy."

"Well not everyone has the 40's mentality Buck." You sigh, looking down at piece of pizza Bucky heated up for you.

"You're worth it." Bucky's eyes look crystal as they look at you. "All the roses and the dates and the opening of car doors, everything I did for you was because you're amazing and you're worth it."

Words escape your mind.

"I was too much of an idiot to let you go." Bucky looks down at the floor. "But please don't let anyone who won't take the time to cherish you, have you."

"Because to have had you, and lost you, is a pain only those who've truly love you have."

Comments, reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated! Would love to hear your feedback. K thankssss BRB writing Dr.Bee pt 2 as we speak.

[oracle-of-dream]

Honest is the best policy

And Matthew really shows it. He speaks his mind often and doesn't care as much if he gets in trouble but Matthew tries not to be problematic. It shows he was a Cube trainee with how much their idols speak honestly about their experiences with the company.

From casual cursing to flirting with fans, I can't tell where his personality ends and the K-pop "character" starts. Most idols use portions of their real personalities, especially in this era, but companies still try to contain some people in certain tropes. But the muscular goofball is a favorite trope anyway...

Matthew is unapologetically him, and I admire him for that. It's not something everyone could do, especially with so many people watching.

[perfectsunlight]

03 ━━━ TOLERATE IT

warnings: angst, overworking, loneliness, strained marriage

word count: 3.1k

synopsis: your ex-wife receives an invite to your wedding, but will she let you say "i do" for a second time?

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marriage is difficult. it has its ups and downs. it demands patience, understanding, and unwavering commitment.

unfortunately, soyeon didn’t understand any of that.

after they married, y/n retired from the idol industry completely, choosing to mainly be involved in being a public figure instead of on the stage. 

soyeon's rise to becoming ceo of cube entertainment was meteoric. her creative genius, combined with a strategic vision, pulled the company out of the trenches it was in and sent it soaring to new heights. 

before long, soyeon became the face of the newly branded company and was working directly with new trainees and a new staff dedicated to the success of both the future groups and the company.

however, her relentless dedication to work became a double-edged sword in her marriage to her wife.

as ceo, soyeon's days were consumed by meetings, negotiations, and endless responsibilities. y/n, understanding the demands of soyeon's job, tried to be patient and supportive. 

initially, it was a compromise they both seemed willing to make – soyeon's absence during the weekdays was justified as a sacrifice for the greater good of their future together. 

y/n spent her days engaged in public appearances, supporting causes she believed in, and occasionally filling the void by catching up with friends. 

the only time the two women saw each other was in the mornings when they woke up and then at dinner time.

i sit and watch you reading with your

head low

y/n swallowed a bite of her food as she glanced across the table at her wife. soyeon’s head was down as she read through a few pages of her notes, her dinner sitting untouched beside her.

“your food is getting cold, darling.” the taller girl said softly, eyes remaining on her wife’s hunched figure. she watched as soyeon continued to pore over the papers, her untouched dinner growing colder by the minute.

"it's alright. i just want you to eat," y/n replied, her soft voice laced with concern. she was well aware of her wife’s current diet consisting of coffee and convenience store snacks.

y/n had grown accustomed to these moments of solitude, where the only presence she felt was her own. she missed the shared laughter, the easy conversations, and the simple pleasure of spending uninterrupted time together.

but soyeon was a ceo now, and she knew that their marriage had to share the burden of that title as well.

the shorter girl finally looked up, noticing the cold plate in front of her. she sighed softly, a flicker of regret passing through her eyes. “i didn't mean to neglect dinner again. i'll try to finish up quickly, baby.”

“it's alright,” y/n's words held a hint of sadness, but it was not enough to be noticed by the woman across from her. “take your time.”

she understood the gravity of her wife’s responsibilities, but it didn't ease the ache of loneliness that lingered in their home.

as soyeon resumed her work, y/n's thoughts drifted to the days when their meals were shared moments of intimacy, where they discussed dreams, aspirations, and silly anecdotes from their day. 

now, the dining table had become a silent witness to the first cracks in the glass.

the clock ticked away, marking the passage of time as y/n sat in silent contemplation. when dinner ended, y/n cleared the table while soyeon excused herself to attend to an urgent call. alone in the kitchen, y/n couldn't shake off the feeling that this was going to become the new normal. 

unfortunately, she was right.

i wake and watch you breathing with your

eyes closed

shortly after, the only time y/n was able to see soyeon was when she came to bed.

unfortunately, the ceo was too exhausted to mumble even more than a quick “goodnight” before climbing into bed after a quick shower.

y/n always stayed up to make sure her wife got home safe and sound. there were numerous nights where she’d be on the verge of falling asleep, but she’d fight it off just until she heard the familiar sound of the front door opening.

but it was on nights like this where she’d spend what felt like hours just staring at her sleeping wife.

the exhaustion etched onto soyeon's face was unmistakable. her usually vibrant persona had dimmed under the weight of ceaseless responsibilities, leaving behind a weary visage. 

y/n's heart ached at the sight.

she traced the gentle contours of her wife’s face with her eyes, longing for the fleeting moments of tenderness they once shared. the distant memories of stolen kisses and whispered sweet nothings seemed like fragments from another lifetime.

the silence in the room mirrored the silence in their relationship. she battled the urge to shake soyeon awake, to plead for just a mere moment of connection, but she knew it would be futile against the depths of her wife’s exhaustion.

she would listen to the soft rhythm of soyeon's breathing, the only semblance of solace in the stillness of the night. it was the only proof that her wife was still there.

but with a heavy heart, the younger girl would eventually fall asleep beside her wife, enveloped in the bittersweet ache of being physically close yet emotionally distant. 

i sit and watch you

and notice everything you do or don't do

it started out as missed calls and texts, things that y/n partially expected to be the new normal.

but then it turned into soyeon forgetting to say “i love you” when she left in the mornings.

y/n often stood by the doorway, watching her wife rush out already in the middle of a phone call or rushing to a meeting. the silence that followed soyeon's departure echoed louder than anything y/n had ever heard.

the weight of those unspoken three words lingered in the air, a palpable absence that left a hollow ache in y/n's chest. she longed for the reassurance and the comfort of any simple affirmation of love, but they had become dreams that were distant and elusive.

the younger girl found her heart breaking at the memories of the prior times where soyeon refused to leave the house without saying “i love you.”

as soyeon hurriedly prepared for bed one night, her mind already racing with tomorrow's responsibilities, y/n decided it was time to voice the growing void in their marriage. with a heavy heart, she took a deep breath, mustering the courage to broach the subject that had been gnawing at her for far too long.

"soyeon, can we talk?" y/n's voice held a hint of vulnerability as she gazed at her wife, hoping for a moment of connection amid the silence that had enveloped them.

the ceo, absorbed in sorting through the work notes on the nightstand, glanced up briefly. "sure, what's up?"

y/n's words were carefully chosen, trying to articulate the emotional turmoil without accusing or blaming. she slowly sat up from the bed, hugging her knees to her chest as she kept her eyes on the back of her wife’s figure.

“you haven’t said “i love you” in a while.”

soyeon paused, her movements faltering for a moment before continuing to organize her papers. had she truly forgotten to say something so important for so long?

“i'm sorry, baby. it's just been really hectic lately and it slipped my mind. you know how much is on my plate right now.”

the former idol felt a pang of disappointment at the response, but she persisted, her voice quivering slightly. “i understand your work is important, i know it is. but you never forget your phone, or your work bag, or your keys.”

y/n paused before continuing, trying to ignore the way her heart broke in her chest. “you used to never forget to say it before you left.”

soyeon's shoulders tensed imperceptibly at the mention of her forgetfulness, a faint flicker of realization crossing her features. she turned to face her wife fully, her expression a blend of remorse and regret.

“i didn't mean to, i promise. i've just been so busy with everything at work," she began, her words laced with a hint of sincerity. "but you're right. i used to make sure i said it every day."

y/n felt a bittersweet ache in her chest, the memories of their once-cherished rituals flooding back. the tender moments of shared affection which were now distant echoes in the backdrop of their strained relationship.

“i miss it, soyeon," y/n confessed softly, her eyes brimming with unspoken emotions. “i miss feeling that connection, that assurance of our love for each other. it's not just about the words; it's about what they mean.”

you're so much older and wiser and i

i wait by the door like i'm just a kid

soyeon's expression softened, a pang of guilt tugging at her conscience. "i'll try to do better, y/n. i promise."

the sincerity in soyeon's voice was palpable, but y/n couldn't shake off the lingering uncertainty. the distance that had crept into their relationship seemed daunting, leaving y/n yearning for a sense of closeness that seemed elusive amidst the chaos of their lives.

"i love you, baby," soyeon said, reaching out to grasp y/n's hand gently. "i'll make an effort to show it more, i promise."

“let’s go somewhere tomorrow. just drive to the ocean and back, just the two of us.” the younger girl whispered as she rested her head against her wife’s shoulder.

soyeon sighed, a hint of sadness creeping into her voice. “i wish i could. i'm trying my best to balance everything. but i promise i'll make it up to you when things settle down."

"but when will that be?" y/n's voice trembled with slight frustration.  "i miss us. i miss feeling close to you. i miss knowing that we're in this together."

the room was filled with a heavy silence hanging thick in the air. the young ceo seemed torn between her commitment to her work and the yearning in her wife’s eyes for a happier marriage.

"i can't keep feeling like i'm coming second to your job," y/n finally whispered, her voice barely audible, her heart breaking with each passing moment of disconnection.

soyeon turned to face y/n, her expression a mix of remorse and helplessness. "right now, my work demands so much from me. i'm doing this for us, for our future."

y/n's eyes glistened with unshed tears as she nodded, feeling the weight of their conversation settle heavily upon her shoulders

“can we spend the weekend together, baby? it's been so long since we had quality time,” y/n pleaded, her voice tinged with a blend of longing and frustration.

“i wish i could, love. but there's a company event i need to attend. it's crucial for our upcoming projects,” soyeon responded, her tone carrying a hint of regret. “but i’ll make it up to you next time i’m off.”

y/n nodded on the other end of the line, trying to mask the disappointment that washed over her. their weekends, once a chance to reconnect, began resembling weekdays – solitary and devoid of the shared moments that used to define their relationship.

the routine became monotonous. waking up to an empty bed, meals eaten alone, and nights spent in silence. y/n found herself reminiscing about the times when her wife’s laughter filled their home, when conversations flowed effortlessly, and their love felt the same way it did the night of their wedding.

the strain in their relationship became evident in the fleeting moments they managed to share. when soyeon was home, she seemed mentally elsewhere, preoccupied with emails, calls, and the weight of her responsibilities. y/n, desperate for connection, tried to engage in conversations, but they often fizzled into superficial exchanges, leaving a bitter taste of unfulfillment.

the promises of 'making it up' or 'finding time soon' became a hollow echo in their conversations. y/n's attempts to bridge the growing gap in their marriage seemed futile against the relentless tide of soyeon's professional obligations.

as weeks turned into months, their once-vibrant home felt like an empty shell, haunted by the remnants of a love that struggled to survive amidst the unyielding demands of soyeon's new career.

but as months turned into over a year, y/n couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness that crept in.

"can you come home early today, soyeon?" y/n's voice held a trace of longing as she spoke through the phone. it was a request y/n had made countless times, hoping for a few moments together, but soyeon's commitments always took precedence.

"i'm sorry, love. there's a project i need to oversee. i'll try to wrap it up as soon as possible," soyeon replied, her tone apologetic yet distracted.

y/n sighed softly, suppressing her disappointment. she understood soyeon's dedication to her work, but the constant absence was taking its toll on their relationship. there were nights when y/n would wait up, hoping for soyeon's arrival, only to fall asleep alone.

use my best colors for your portrait

lay the table with the fancy shit

y/n brushed the sweat from her brow after she gently set down the box of fine china on the table. she took a quick glance at the wall clock, mentally triple checking the list she had made for the anniversary dinner.

soyeon would be home early tonight, she had promised she would be.

as the evening drew closer, she meticulously arranged the dining room, adorning the table with delicate lace tablecloths and exquisite floral centerpieces. the soft glow of the candles casted a warm ambiance, setting the stage for what was supposed to be an intimate anniversary dinner.

it had only been 3 years since the two had gotten married, but it felt like a decade with the amount of strain that had been put on the relationship.

the anticipation bubbled within y/n's chest as she occasionally checked the clock periodically, doubt nipping at the corners of her mind but she reminded herself over and over again; soyeon would be home for dinner. 

she promised.

minutes stretched into an hour, and the hour trickled into the late evening. the once hopeful anticipation gradually morphed into concern, her gaze fixated between the clock and the front door.

and watch you tolerate it

the aroma of the carefully prepared dinner wafted through the air, filling the otherwise empty house with its scents. the former idol had spent all morning at the farmers market, wanting to pick only the freshest items for tonight. she also spent the past few months picking up a painting hobby, and she finally had something to show for it.

y/n had painted a portrait of her wife from their wedding day, with soyeon’s back facing the ocean and her silhouette outlined by the sun. it was a picture she had taken the night they morning of the wedding, when y/n had dragged the smaller girl to jump into the water with her just hours before the ceremony.

it was a beautiful memory etched into y/n’s heart and she had spent months using the best colors to recreate a memory that meant everything to her.

y/n sat in the living room, the familiar warmth of the space now tinged with a palpable sense of longing. she stole glances at the wrapped gift beside soyeon's favorite chair, the beige wrapping paper adorned with a simple ribbon.

the room continued to echo with a profound silence, the unopened gift almost a mocking symbol of unfulfilled expectations. she did her best to keep a positive mindset, to give the woman she loved the benefit of the doubt.

but as the hours continued to slip away, and with the candlesticks becoming shorter by the mere minute, y/n could feel her high hopes beginning to fall.

. 

the black of night peered through the opened windows of the apartment, and for a brief moment y/n debated just going to bed at this point.

but she couldn't shake off the lingering hope that soyeon would walk through the door, flowers in hand and ready to celebrate their special day together.

yet, with every passing minute, the silence grew louder.

if it's all in my head tell me now

tell me i've got it wrong somehow

she tried to push away the growing unease, reminding herself of her wife’s demanding job and the unpredictability that often accompanied it. 

soyeon was a busy woman, and taking over cube was a big responsibility, especially since the ceo wanted to change everything about the company from her time there. y/n knew how much was on her wife’s plate. she knew that when the smaller girl put her mind to something, she wouldn’t stop until she was done.

it was one of the many reasons why she loved jeon soyeon, but she loved the woman years before she ever became a ceo.

y/n glanced at her phone, her fingers tapping anxiously against the table as she sent yet another quick text to soyeon, inquiring about her whereabouts. 

but the minutes passed without a response, adding to the mounting worry that gnawed at y/n's resolve.

despite her efforts to stay composed, a tinge of disappointment crept into y/n's heart, accompanied by a feeling of sadness. 

i know my love should be celebrated

when the clock hit 3 am, y/n fought against the tears that threatened to spill, deep feelings of hurt pooling within her as she accepted the fact that her wife was not coming home for dinner.

dinner was cold and untouched. the gift was unopened. the chair was empty.

but nothing was more obvious than the sounds of y/n’s sobs against her hands. 

the absence of her wife carved a hollow space within their home, but now that hollowness bled into her own heart. y/n's tears had left trails on her cheeks, a physical manifestation of the anguish she was experiencing. 

as she retreated to their bedroom, the once comforting space now felt desolate. the sheets held no trace of soyeon's warmth, the pillow beside hers a painful reminder of the void that had settled between them. y/n lay there, curled up in the vast expanse of their bed, clutching soyeon's pillow tightly to her chest. 

her eyes, red and swollen from the acid rain shed in solitude, gazed at the empty space beside her. the weight of loneliness pressed upon her, suffocating her in a way that made her feel like she couldn’t breathe properly.

as the rest of the night wore on, sleep finally claimed her when the clock hit 4 am, but it offered no respite from the ache in her heart. dreams twisted into fragmented illusions, mirroring the shattered reality she faced.

even in slumber, she yearned for the familiar comfort of soyeon's presence.

y/n woke the next day greeted not by her wife, but the sun casting its blinding rays into the room. the former idol stirred, her eyes heavy with remnants of sorrow as she reached for her phone to check the time.

and there it was – a message from soyeon. but the relief that surged through her was short-lived as she read the words:

FROM: WIFE

fell asleep at work, i didn’t see your text. did you need something?

not only did she not come home last night, but soyeon didn’t even remember her own anniversary.

perhaps that was when the glass finally shattered and y/n realized she couldn’t do this anymore. 

but you tolerate it

[mychlapci]

Out of everyone, Ratchet breastfeeds ageswap Prowl the most. He’s old enough that, like Ironhide and Kup, Prowl might as well actually /be/ a mechling despite his adult status. Prowl adores being breastfed and he’s also much too mortified to ever ask for it. So Ratchet likes to insist it’s for the trainee’s health. Prowl needs to be a good mechling and nurse the doctor’s boobies so he grows up big and strong. To be fair, there actually are plenty of nutrients involved. It’s just that Prowl always gets so dreamy and sweet when he suckles, pedes twitching in tiny kicks with each lazy swallow. He gets utterly milk drunk, hips occasionally giving a lazy roll or two if Ratchet isn’t stroking his cute spike to keep it hard for Prowl’s mentors.

Originally, Prowl would only get the privilege of nursing when Ratchet was “bitty sitting,” for the twins. And then they saw his melty smile for the first time as Prowl obediently repeated after the doctor to say “thank you for booby, Ratchet,” with milk still on his chin. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are obsessed with how soft and dumb nursing makes their little trainee. Surprisingly, Sideswipe is the one to get the mod. Prowl gets the mind-numbing pleasure of feeling his mentor’s spike in his dripping valve as he nurses feverishly, milk filling his tanks rapidly as his mentor strokes Prowl’s helplessly plugged spike.

Mechlings need their milkies to grow up big and strong. Or, at least, that’s what the twins and Ratchet keep telling Prowl when they sit him on the medic’s lap in a command meeting for the first time. Prowl’s spike a curved line against his filling belly as he mewls around Ratchet’s nipples. Trying (and failing) to beg not to have to nurse where everyone can see. It’s so embarrassing, watching everyone else drink the cubes Prowl had prepared only to be tugged into a lap to nurse. But he does, letting out soft noises and tiny moans when Ratchet plays with his needy spike.

“Fank you fow booby, Watchet,” he mumbles around a thick nozzle, fighting not to hump the medic’s hand and lose his privileges. Kup makes a low, considering noise at that. Jazz just moans outright. But when Ratchet’s been drained, Prowl is only shuffled onto Sideswipe’s lap instead of being released. He tries to protest; he’s now hungry anymore, promise! Milk and drool is gathered at the corners of his mouth. Sideswipe just pets his panel and drags Prowl to his heavy breast by the chevron.

“Mechlings need their milk, sweet spark,” he says firmly, “drink up.” And Prowl is helpless to do anything but obey until the desire to do anything else fades. Mentor said he needs more milky, so Prowl needs more milky. Never mind his rapidly filling tanks. With every obedient suckle Prowl grows fuller and fuller, belly beginning to grow firm with all the energon. And his arousal only grows when Sideswipe pulls the ring off of his spike, even if he doesn’t touch it anymore after that. Prowl’s so full, so warm. His spike rubs against his belly as he cuddles into his mentor, and he can’t help but grind. He looks so sweet like this, optics flickering as his cheeks hollow and fill. When Sideswipe runs dry, Prowl is a bit too fuzzy to be shocked by being passed to Kup. But there is a dull feeling of surprise when the old mech cradles him in his arms.

A pair of warm, saggy breasts press against Prowl. He turns instinctively to suckle, knowing he needs to be a good mechling. But Kup blocks him, raising an optic ridge and reminding Prowl of his manners. He’s so full and warm and horny… the world feels fuzzy and far away. But he still manages a

“Need my milky, please, Kup,” in a hazy voice. And then Prowl can nurse, nosing into a third set of breasts as everyone talks over him (about him—he’s so cute like this). There are so many aroused em fields around Prowl, but the only thing that matters is drinking up all his milky and being a good mechling for the big bots. Hard spike still trapped between his belly and Kup’s. The scent of a cygar fills Prowl’s vents. His HUD pings with a warning that his tanks are at max capacity. But Kup still has more milk, and Prowl doesn’t want to stop… He toggles a manual drain, letting some get processed straight to his waste tank to make more room. Ignores the unimportant flashing of a /new/ maximum capacity alert as he suckles Kup’s tits eagerly. Prowl’s going to drink it all up. He’s command’s silly trainee, their dumb little mechling. All the milky is for him, so he can be a big bot someday.

And then, with one final swallow, the dam bursts. Prowl feels his panels grow warm and wet as he suckles, flashing red HUD alert vanishing as he mindlessly wets himself. Still rutting his hard spike into Kup’s belly. The old mech just sighs tolerantly. He should have known that milk-drunk mechlings were the leakiest of all. Never mind the heating of his own panel. When his breasts are finally empty, he sets Prowl on the floor under the table, pointing him directly at Jazz and whispering in his audial.

And Prowl crawls straight over, aft and thighs still wet with piss, to mouth at Jazz’s closed panel.

“Please, Jazz,” Prowl mumbles mischievously, a little more alert now that his tummy is full and his waste tank empty, “I need my milky.” And Jazz creams his panel before he can even get it open.

Anyway, after that Prowl gets fed in semi-public, spark thrilling at the idea that someone could see him like this. So soft and debased, clutching a large plushy on one of high command’s laps as he suckles at their milky tits like a real youngling. Belly slowly growing pudgier as the extra energon and nutrients go to work. Prowl will have dimples in no time.

YES YES that’s what i’m talking about babyyyy. Prowl is treated like a mechling that still needs its processed, refined energon, and he can’t say no to his milky if he wants to grow into a strong soldier <3 even if his tanks are all full and achy and he’s wetting himself in someone’s lap… it’s okay, young bots don’t know any better.

mhmm I do love love love the thought of Prowl being fed in semi-public. Of course, they never do it in front of bots who are not in on their little game, definitely not in front of the other cadets. But it’s still sooo degrading when he sits down behind the table and all the big mechs have a cube… and he has to crawl into someone’s lap if he wants a drink, all flushed and humiliated as he feels all the optics in the room turn to him. He has to suck from a titty like a good boy, no, no he can’t have it in a cube, mechlings need to drink milk straight from the source :) The feeling of a warm, soft breast in his mouth is supposed to calm him down after all, they can't take that bonding experience away from him.

Prowl gets a little chubby really quickly, dimples and a pudgy little tummy and all. He’s so well-fed <3