#like i saw a mug in a coffee shop that i DESPERATELY want to draw in the modern au i have

[moeblob]

I'm sorry for the OC brain rot on main....

(the lines are from a post about "tag yourself: awkward/unflirty Sims edition" and honestly? all my OCs are awkward/unflirty so ... yeah...)

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

The Night of the First Mistake

Sequel to

Synopsis: pre X-orcist, almost a year after Nightmare's death, Dream is still not on top of his grief and causes him to resort to desperate measures.

Tw mentions of death/dead loved ones.

X-orcist au belongs to me and @zu-is-here

Dreams, Demons and Desires is by me.

Enjoy

Almost a year had past since he'd last seen Nightmare. The skeleton couldn't say he had mourned him, but the news of his death had been unfortunate to say the least. Who could have seen someone like Nightmare dying in such a preventable way? Not him, that's for sure.

He was a friend... Or at least a friendly acquaintance, clearly he'd not been quite close enough to Night's inner circle to be invited to the funeral. He'd never even met Night's brother. Despite that, the news of his parting had deeply saddened him and every so often, he thought of him with a sigh.

A good customer and a good person.

This evening, Nightmare played at his thoughts again, probably drudged up by the anniversary of the accident approaching, he hadn’t meant to make note of the day, but he had. a few weeks would be the anniversary of the day he heard the news. 

He thought back to a year ago, a few weeks before his death. The words he’d said about his brother and the increasing frustration about his sinful thoughts. Killer didn't judge him for such feelings, he was no stranger to sin.

Other then that, there was nothing at all strange about this night.

Tonight, just like any night, he was in his shop and the counter. It was a cold October and pretty soon he'd be closing up.

It was dark and chilly in his shop and had a strangely pungent smell, which hit the moment you walked in. A mix of crushed herbs and spices, old books and stale coffee.

An old set of scales sat on the counter top in front of him, as did a till, several glass jars and containers and a large collection of dirty coffee mugs.

Behind him there was a large book case full of many strange books. Ones with faded titles, ones with thick leather bindings, some with large strains spreading across the covers or pieces missing. If you asked him, he'd liked to have said that he'd read all of them... But there were a few he hadn't. He wasn't much of a reader outside of this collection.

As he nursed yet another cup of coffee from the café next door, he tapped his slender skeleton fingers on the counter top. He was bored.

With a glance at the clock, he decided today that he could close up early. It was his shop after all, he made the rules. A small collection of trinkets and charms hung around his neck and clinked together against his old coat, as he got to his feet.

Just as he prepared to take today's earnings from the till to count it, he heard the door and a jingle of the shop bell, indicating someone had entered.

He set an empty eye socket in their direction as they froze, looking nervous.

The person was new, but also something about them was strangely familiar. After scanning them for a moment, his face twisted into a sly smile upon realising who the new comer could be. He turned his face to them fully, staring his pitch eyes right through them. They tensed, which amused him slightly.

"well hello Little Light.... How may I help you"

Dream seemed taken back slightly by the pet name. It wasn't something he was used to. His hands fused with the fastening on his coat.

"uhh Hello.....I’m..... Uh.."

The shop keep chuckled again. Such nervous behaviour wasn't something he saw often from his customers. Looks like it was going to be an interesting night and to think, he was going to close up.

"nervous Lil light?"

Dream once again tensed and shuddered slightly.

"Please.... Don't call me that" he stammered slightly before taking a breath "My name is Dream"

The shop keepers grin got even wider and it made a chill run up Dream's spine. There was something extremely unnerving about this skeleton. Maybe it was the emptiness of his eyes or the strange carvings around them, but Dream was sure that it was more then that.

The atmosphere of the shop was very unsettling and kind of cramped in Dream’s opinion. There were many trinkets, stones, crystals and small animal bones stacked neatly on the shelves. It was this, along with bags of salt and bundles of sage and garlic, that reassured him he was in the right place for what he needed. 

"Dream huh?.... Thought so" he said in a low tone "I'm so glad to finally meet you"

The nervous shifting of his hands continued, as Dream once again tensed even further. He was acting friendly, but it still felt ever so slightly...off.

"h-how do you know me?"

"I knew your brother and I'd recognise that pendant I sold him anywhere" he said, with his eyes looking at Dream's chest.

Dreams fingers quickly shot to the star charm hanging from his neck, and gripped it tight. Looks like this was the right place.

"Not to mention there's your golden eyes" he  continued, shifting his gaze straight into Dream's eye sockets. It was strange how Dream knew where he was looking, even without eye lights.

"he often talked about them......He was right when he said they were very beautiful if I do say so myself~"

Dreams face blushed slightly, but he felt a familiar twist in this chest at the mention of Nightmare and a sinking feeling when he was reminded how Night felt about him. His brother had often complimented his eyes.....

He'd just never really understood it was more then brotherly affection. At least until now.

"I.... Uh" Dream said before clearing his throat "You're Killer.... Aren't you?"

Flexing his fingers, Killer nodded. The grin didn't leave his face.

"looks like my reputation proceeds me"

Dream let go of his necklace and a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "I thought it might be you.... Based off something he wrote in his diary".

Before Night's accident, Dream had never even considered reading his diary. That was just a basic code of conduct. However, after his death, it became something Dream had often thought about. The diary, and everything else Nightmare owned, now belonged to him. For that reason he'd taken the book out of Nightmare's room.

However, he'd just kept it on his bedside table for almost a year before he finally had the courage to read it.

It had mostly been a fond look over some old memories, some good and some bad. But there were also passages about his feelings for Dream, sometimes written confessions addressed him. Every word was full of truth, longing and pain. Dream had felt it all.

Those had been hard to read, but he'd not skipped a single page and read them each through several times.

Nearer the end of the book, Nightmare had started talking about his interest in the supernatural. Dream remembered his twin getting fascinated in that and spending long evenings talking with him about it over tea and biscuits.

One thing Dream hadn't known about, where his trips to the next town over, where he wrote about finding this shop and the shop keep. This had been where the interest started. It was this that had lead Dream to come here.

"right..." Killer said, downing what was left in his coffee mug and setting in on the counter top.

"well.... What can I help you with?"

Yeah.. Nightmare had written that Killer was always one to cut to the point. Dream knew that what he was going to ask sounded insane and he wasn't even fully sure if Killer was the right person to ask. But at this point he was desperate, he just needed to know. With his grip returning to his brothers pendent, he remembered who he was doing this for.

He took a deep breath.

"Can you bring people back from the dead?"

Killer didn't react visibly to that. But he drew out a long silence. After a little Dream was sure he saw his jaw clench. The silence was completely deafening, broken only by the sound of Killer's fingers tapping the counter top. Dream figured that he was probably struggling to think what to say. After what felt like a life time, he spoke.

"I specialise in charms and equipment for preventative measures to stop spirits inhabiting homes....I do not....." he paused

"I don't try and bring the dead to the living realms".

Dreams face fell. He really shouldn't have been so disappointed, it was a crazy ask. But with the way Killer spoke and what he sold in the shop, he'd felt so close to what he wanted. But maybe it really was just impossible.

He felt tears threatening to spill, he just couldn't take all this guilt anymore. All he wanted to do was tell his brother he was sorry. That night. That kiss. That dam horribly wonderful kiss...and that car. 

"however...." Killer continued.

Dream felt hope flush through at those words and stood up slightly straighter. Killer turned his back to dream and started looking over the bookshelves behind the counter.

He didn't say a word, as Dream curiously watched him. He ran his thumb across the spines of several of the oldest and most dusty looking of them, eventually plucking out a large leather bound book with silver straps.

He walked back over, blowing dust off it as he did, and set it down on the counter with a light thud. The cover was extremely dusty and the leather was cracked and split in several places, yet the title still read fairly clearly and Dreams felt his heart skipped a beat.

The Practice of a Necromancer. Vol one of three. Summoning, Controlling and Banishing.

"I've not read this one fully, but it's been in my collection for years.... I suppose this would be the right place to look"

With that, he slowly opened the book and very carefully started to turn its pages. The paper was completely yellowed and clearly very fragile. There were no photographs, only hand done drawings of various items and also what looked like people, but with strange and uncanny faces. There were also other frightening images that Dream was trying not to look at.

Killer eventually stopped and ran his finger across a page.

"ah ha" he said "to summon a spirit into the living world"

He read over the text for a moment, as Dream watched impatiently. Killer knitted his non-existent eyebrows and narrowed his eyes.

"this stuff sounds overly complicated to me..... so I guess I'm not sure really"

But Dream didn't really seem to be playing much attention to Killer's words now. He was so desperately trying to read the text upside-down. Reading was something that Dream always struggled with anyway, so reading upside down would be near impossible. He reached forward to try and pull the book to him.

But he jumped back in surprise as Killer slapped his hand across the book, sending some dust into the air.

"now now now not so hasty Lil Light" he said returning back to a sweet tone, as he said the a pet name that made Dream's toes curl.

In his haste Dream had forgotten that this was a shop, not a library, so of course he wouldn't just hand it over.

The smaller skeleton knew that the book was probably pricey so it's not like Killer would just let him have it. It was clearly very old and Dream worried that he wouldn't have enough for it, but if he had to pay all the money he had to buy it. He would.

Reaching inside of his pocket, Dream pulled out a bundle of paper money and placed it on the counter and next to the book. Killer looked at it for a moment, before he took it and counted how much money was in the bundle. He ran his fingers across the notes, looking as if he was very tempted and contemplating his next move.

But then, much to Dream's disappointment, he put it back down on the counter.

"I don't want your money dream... That's not what I meant"

An unhappy wine left Dream's mouth, as Killer proceeded to hand his money back to him. Just as he was about to ask why, Killer cut him off.

"it's not for sale"

"but what if I just borro-

"or for rent or loan"

Dreams soul twisted. This felt so Incredibly unfair. He wasn't ever one to really get angry or feel hatred for people. But why had Killer gotten this book down if he didn't intend to sell it? Was he just trying to mess with him?

It was that moment that he wasn't sure he really liked Killer all that much.

He sighed.

"h-how come? Can I do anything to change your mind?"

Killer sadly shook his head.

"Dream....... I like to read the stuff for research purposes not for a practical use"

Dream opened his mouth to object, but killer silenced him.

"and I don't care what you say... but I don't think you're just interested in the topic"

Dream tried very hard not to show disappointment on his face, but of course Killer picked up on it. It upset him that his intentions were so easy to guess. Then again he'd opened with 'can you bring people back from the dead'.

He really should have asked in a different way. Feeling like an idiot, he tried to say that he wasn't intending to use the book in practice. But Killer once again shook his head.

He stood up slightly and gave Dream a sympathetic look, or a sympathetic as he could make it through his cold eyes.

"look....I know you miss him and that's ok I've lost people myself to" he said in a uncharacteristically gentle tone, which sounded fake. 

Dream looked at his feet.

"but the dead need to be left dead. Trying to bring them back never ends well, Nightmare wouldn't want you to get hurt trying to help him"

Dreams eyes stayed fixed on the floor, not wanting to look at killer any longer. He didn't want him to see him cry. He didn't want to look like a baby. Just as he was going to try arguing again, behind him he heard the shop door open and the bell ring

He looked back at Killer seeing he'd straightened up.

"K-killer...." came a soft but slightly panicked voice.

Curiously, Dream looked over his shoulder at the source of the voice. It was another skeleton stood by the door.

In all his life, Dream had never seen someone look to tired. They seem to be slightly younger then Dreams age but it was hard to tell how much. Their appearance was clearly young, but the huge bags under their eyes aged their face several years. The most notable thing about them was that their eye lights where small, indicating that they were on edge.

They were wearing a oversized cream knitted sweater and had a maroon scarf decorated with a paw print pattern tide around their neck. They fiddled with it as their eyes a looked at Killer and then to Dream.

From where he was, Dream could also see them wearing several of the necklaces and charms that Killer a sold, as well as a few layers of bandages around their arms.

Killer hastily exited from behind the counter and approached them.

"Hey Cappuccino......." he said, trying again to sound soft.

Ccino wasted no time in burying his head to Killers chest and wrapping his arms around him.

In response, Killer stumbled slightly and looked momentarily taken back and very uncomfortable. After a moment he sigh, before gently placing an hand on his back.

"hey.....it's ok ya wimp... I'm guessing they're back right?"

Ccino simply nodded, Killer sighed.

"Dream can you show yourself out? I've got to take care of this, we're closing anyway. I'm sorry I couldn't help you better"

As Killer attempted to comfort the shaking skeleton, Dream turned his attention back to the book in front of him. It was just within his reach, the page was tantalising.

It was so clear, a set instructions of the exact thing he'd need to do to reach his goal. 

Killer's warning played in his mind. 

But he knew what he was doing right? It was his brother, what did Killer really know about what Nightmare would have wanted. He didn't know how.... Close... They were. At least he thought he knew.

It was a split second choice.

As Killer continued to try and comfort his companion, he saw Dream hastily exit the shop without saying another word. He stared at the door.

It didn't feel right. 

He narrowed his eyes and stepped back from Ccino slightly.

"hang on"

He walked back to the counter and was relieved to see that the book was still there, however a moment later he noticed something else that make him freeze and curse under his breath.

"what's wrong?" Ccino asked, walking up next to him.

Killer didn't answer and instead picked up his book and looked at it closely to confirm what he saw. When he saw he was right, he near growled.

"Killer?" Ccino asked not seeing the problem.

"look....."Killer said quietly.

He ran his finger down the spine where the pages joined together. Once you looked closely you could see the remnants of torn paper sticking out.

"he took the page"

references coming soon.

[rafecameron]

sunkissed

summary: Sarah’s pen pal of several years finally comes to visit - she can’t help but fall for her friends older brother

pairing: rafe cameron x reader

word count: 8K

a/n: I don’t really go here anymore but i wrote this a couple months ago and a few people said they wanted to read it so here to go (gif is mine)

Dear y/n,

               You will never believe what’s been happening! I’ve fallen in love (for real this time)! And he’s a pogue! His names John B, he works on my dads boat, I know cliché. I thought I was happy with my life, thought I had everything planned out and everything was perfect but I never realised how much I was missing! The pogues are all so carefree - considering. They just do whatever they want and it’s always fun, I haven’t stopped laughing since I’ve been hanging out with them.

My brother isn’t very happy about it, but he’s not very happy about anything really. He called me a traitor for hanging out with pogues, he’s so annoying! I can’t wait for him to go off to college or something and just get out of my hair!

The second bit of good news? My dad said you can come stay for the summer! As in the whole summer! Now you just have to get permission and we can finally see each other again! I’m so excited let me know as soon as you can come!

                                                       Love, Sarah.

It was written in her neat hand on her usual pale pink paper. You loved the end of the month when you’d receive a letter from your best friend. Best friend. It always felt strange and people never understood how you could have a best friend you had met on vacation when you were seven. You hadn’t seen each other since but you had promised to keep in touch with letters and you had much to both your parents surprise. You loved when Sarah would complain about her older brother and younger sister, she was always so dramatic when she spoke about them. You also couldn’t believe that not only had she fallen in love (again - this was the twelfth time since you were seven) but she had gotten permission for you to stay the rest of the summer and had waiting to tell you via letter! You grabbed your phone off of your night stand and quickly hit the call button under her name, waited a few rings, then her cheerful voice answered.

“Y/N! Did you get my letter?” She asks quickly.

“Yes. I can’t believe you haven’t already told me about your new boyfriend! Or that I’m allowed to come and stay!” You complain.

“You know I like saving my good news for the letters. It feels more...romantic.” She giggles down the phone, “so, can you stay?”

“I haven’t asked yet. I can’t see why they’d say no.” You roll over onto your back, smiling widely up at the ceiling, “so tell me about John B!”

And she did. She told you everything they had done together so far, how amazing he was, how charming and funny and hot. He didn’t much sound like yours or Sarah’s type at all but you couldn’t help the grin on your face hearing how happy she sounded when she spoke about him. You stayed on the phone for well over an hour listening to her gush over her new man before finally hanging up.

You were excited at the prospect of finally seeing Sarah again but also a little hesitant. She sounded so wrapped up and in love with John B that you were sure you would be the third wheel for the whole summer. Or the sixth wheel, after hearing about her new friends too. But the excitement of seeing Sarah won over your worries so you ran downstairs to ask permission to go. After lots of begging and lots of sucking up, your parents said yes.

—-

You had never been anywhere on your own before so you were nervous the minute your parents left you at the dock to board the ferry. You were sure something would go wrong. You’d lose your ticket. You’d get on the wrong boat. But amazingly everything went smoothly and before you knew it you were getting off the other side. The midday sun was blaring down already, it was much hotter out here on the island than it was where you lived well into the mainland.

You walk along the dock, trying your best to see over the top of people’s heads to try and spot your friend. You were slowly starting to worry she wasn’t here until you saw the blonde leaning against a post, you hurried over probably bashing people with your bags but you didn’t care.

Sarah spotted you as you ran closer, her face suddenly breaking out into a wide grin as you dropped your bags and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

“Oh my god you’re finally here!” She cheers squeezing you back just was hard.

“It’s been a long time coming.” You smile giving her one last squeeze before letting go, “So, what's on the agenda for this summer?”

“We’re going to have the best summer ever!” Sarah links her arm through yours after you pick your bag up, “We’re going to go shopping, have late nights watching movies, parties on the beach! It’s going to be amazing.”

You agree and throw your bag into the back of Sarah’s car before climbing into the passenger seat. The whole drive to her house you let her gush about John B and how amazing he was, you refrained from pointing out she’d already told you over the phone. You loved seeing her face light up when she spoke about him and only wished you could feel that way about someone one day.

You knew Sarah’s house would be big however it was a lot bigger than you ever imagined it would be. But as you drew closer it wasn’t the house that was drawing your attention but the boy in front of it. He was wearing a grey T-shirt, tight against his biceps as he leant over a bike rubbing at it with a cloth. You couldn’t stop your eyes from watching his arms as they flexed cleaning the bike.

“Okay, disgusting. Can you stop eye fucking my brother?” Sarah laughs and pushes your shoulder, “I cannot deal with that all summer.”

“That’s Rafe?” You ask looking back over to him, “Why didn’t you tell me your brother was hot?”

“Ew, he’s my brother he’s not hot! He’s also an asshole.” She rolls her eyes before finally climbing out of the car. You follow suit, pulling your bag from the back and following her towards the house. Your eyes land back on Rafe as you walk past but the boy doesn’t look up from his task so you turn away and follow Sarah into the house.

——

“Fucking hell JJ you’re gonna set everything on fire!” Pope shouts, the boy jumps up and runs after the blonde who was currently running around the yard with a burning log pretending to be a caveman.

“Is he always like that?” You ask looking at the curly haired girl beside you.

“Oh, yeah,” she nods, “He’s an idiot.”

You laugh and watch Pope grab the log from JJ, telling his friend off before he threw the log back into the bonfire. JJ followed Pope back to the circle, sitting down in a sulk as he took an angry gulp from his beer.

“Never any fun.” He mutters to himself before breaking out in a grin, “Hey, y/n you haven’t seen my party trick! Let’s take the boat out!”

“JJ it’s pitch black,” Kie shakes her head, “You can barely do it in daylight, you’ll end up falling overboard and drowning.”

JJ let’s out another huff, “Alright, what am I supposed to do for fun then?”

Sarah had brought you to John B’s chateau to meet her friends. John B was not at all how you imagined him but you liked him well enough. Kie was lovely as was Pope and you looked forward to hanging out with them more. JJ was definitely a little chaotic and not someone you would usually hang out with but he seemed to have good intentions so you were sure he’d grow on you.

The night was full of drinking and laughing, the boys running around like idiots as you and the girls fell about laughing at their antics. This was the kind of thing you thought about when you thought of perfect summer nights. Drinks with friends, evenings full of laughter with music and a bonfire.

——

You were thankful that you didn’t drink too much the night before when you woke up with a clear head. You poked your head into Sarah’s room to find her still fast asleep, arm dangling off the bed as her face pressed into the pillows.

You made our way around the kitchen, opening up every cupboard in search of a glass. You let out a huff of frustration when you open your fourth cupboard to find plates and still no glasses.

“Need a hand?” A voice asks, causing you to jump back in surprise.

You spin around to see Sarah’s brother leaning against the doorframe, apparently having watched you search the kitchen for the last few minutes.

“Glasses?” You ask hopefully.

He shoots you a small smirk and walks into the kitchen towards the cupboard furthest from you and hands you a glass from it.

“Coffee?” He asks, already placing two mugs down onto the counter.

“Sure, thanks.” You take the glass and fill it with water from the fridge, gladly accepting the steaming mug of coffee the boy offers.

“I’m Rafe.” He finally introduces himself.

“I know, Sarah’s annoying older brother,” you let out a laugh, “Y/N.” You offer him your name with a slight smile.

“So you’re the pen pal, isn’t that a bit redundant now?” He leans against the counter, legs crossed slightly as he looks over at you.

You copy his stance opposite him and shrug, “Somewhat, but there’s something a lot more personal about receiving a letter, more intimate. I think it’s a shame people don’t do it anymore.”

“But a text is much quicker.” Rafe shrugs, seeming to miss the point completely, but it’s what you expected.

“Yes, it is quicker.” You agree.

A silence falls over the kitchen, a silence that’s surprisingly not awkward. You study Rafe as he looks down at his mug, hand moving in circles as his eyes watch the brown liquid move around. You weren’t sure what you expected Rafe to be like, but you were sure this wasn’t it. From what Sarah had described you expected someone loud, boisterous and irritating. Someone who would laugh at you not being able to find the glasses and walk away leaving you confused. Not someone who would pass you the glass you were desperately searching for and then offer you a coffee on top.

He looks up. Striking eyes meet yours and he smiles for the first time but it doesn’t reach the blue of his eyes, it stops somewhere just past the corners of his lips.

“How do you like the outer banks then?” He asks.

“Love it.” You beam, you laugh at the look Rafe shoots you, “No really! It’s so nice to be away from the city. This is what summer is supposed to be like, beaches and bonfires, not walking around busy streets.”

Rafe ponders your answer for a moment, “I guess. It’s just hard, when you’re used to it it gets kind of boring and repetitive.”

“Well, maybe you should find some new hobbies then.” You smile.

Rafe let’s out a chuckle, it’s dry and seems forced, “Yeah, maybe I should. Well, if you get bored hanging around the Pogues, come find me and I’ll show you how a summer should be spent.” He shoots you a wink and exits the kitchen. That, you think, is more the Rafe you were expecting.

——

“You’re not going to go, are you?” Sarah inquiries for the second time.

You’d just finished telling her about your morning meeting with Rafe and she’s been adamant you shouldn’t hang out with him. Not that you were planning to in the first place, but now she had explicitly said you shouldn’t, you kind of wanted to.

You refrain from rolling your eyes, “No Sarah. I came here to hang out with you, not your brother.”

Sarah smiles, happy with your answer she links her arm through yours like she had the day before. You both had beach bags slung over your shoulders as you made your way towards the golden sea of sand.

The rest of the group were already on the beach. John B and Kie were digging around in the cool box looking for beers while JJ was building a sandcastle around Popes legs.

You liked the beach and you liked Sarah’s friends but you found yourself growing bored quickly. It was too hot to lay around in the sun and you had never been a fan of the ocean so refused the offers of learning to surf. Even if you liked the water you didn’t imagine you’d be any good, your balance definitely comparable to bambi on ice.

Sarah was attached to her boyfriend at the hip, you didn’t blame her, she’s young and in love but it wasn’t very fun for you. You wished you’d brought a book or your headphones with you. It wasn’t until Kie mentioned a party that you perked up a bit, a party, that was definitely more your scene.

“Where?” You ask leaning up on your elbows on the towel.

“On the beach of course,” Kie holds a beer out towards you, “Pre drinks?” She grins waving it around.

You take the can from her and crack it open, trying to plan out your outfit in your head. Usually you’d wear a dress and heels to a party, but you didn’t expect that would be the best attire for a beach party. It was probably more of an occasion for shorts, a tank top and sandals.

——

The beach was crowded by the time you got there, a lot busier than you expected it to be. You were more than shocked when you noticed Rafe and what you guessed were his friends while you were getting your second drink. You hadn’t expected him to attend a party on this side of the beach, seeing his apparent hatred for the pogues.

He catches your eyes and sends you a nod before turning back to his conversation and you can’t help the small smile that appears on your face. Rafe didn’t seem like the dick Sarah had made him out to be and you were glad to have another friendly face around.

You were in your own world, dancing around with your fifth beer in hand when an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You spin, glad the arm was tight around you or you would have toppled over. Rafe is stood smiling down at you, you could tell from his eyes he’d drank a fair bit but he didn’t seem too intoxicated.

“Still having fun pogueing around?” He asks.

You should shrug his arm away from you but you find you enjoy the weight of it against you and lean into him more.

“I guess,” your fingers play with the red cup in your hand, “I mean, there’s nothing else to do, is there?” You half tease.

Rafe can sense your playful tone and matches it with a smirk, “I’ve already said I’ll show you a good time.”

“Sarah would kill me if I went running off with you,” you admit, leaving the part about wanting to anyway unsaid.

“Well, when she’s not looking you know where to find me.” He smirks, letting his fingers linger on your shoulder for a second longer before he sauntered away back into the throng of drunk party goers.

——

It was a week later when you finally took Rafe up on his offer, after you had promised Sarah the only reason you didn’t want to go out on the boat was because it had made you sea sick the day before. She’d pouted but eventually agreed on going without you. Rafe offered for you to join him and his friends at the golf course. Golf was definitely not your thing, but when you options were that or spend the day in the house alone and hope you don’t bump into ward, you chose the former.

“I thought you were going to show me how a summer should be spent.” You complain as you lean against one of Rafes golf club watching him and his friends line up for the seventeenth hole.

“This is how a summer should be spent.” Rafe comments, raising his beer into the air, “Beer, sun and golf.” He nods.

“Well, it’s not my ideal summer.” You sigh watching Toppers ball fly across the green.

“So what’s your ideal summer?” Kelce asks as he lines up his ball.

Kelce was definitely your favourite out of Rafes two close friends. You liked Topper well enough, but there was something about him you weren’t too sure about. Kelce on the other hand was a lot more pleasant than you expected him to be, he was friends with Rafe after all. But he’d made you feel welcome the minute you got to the golf course, even trying to teach you how to play.

“Adventure.” You state with a nod of your head, “I’m in a new place, I want to look around. Find new cool things, not wander around a field.”

Kelce chuckles as he hits his ball off the tee, “I wouldn’t call it a field.”

“You want adventure?” Rafe questions pointing at you with his club as he walks up to take his shot, “I’ll give you adventure.”

They finish the last two holes and then Rafe is dragging you out of the club house and towards his truck. He drives back to his house, swapping his truck for the bike you had seen him cleaning last week.

“You want me to get on that?” You ask with a raised brow.

“You want adventure but you won’t get on a bike?” Rafe laughs holding his helmet out to you.

“Adventure won’t kill me.” You roll your eyes but sigh and accept the helmet.

The bike was not as bad as you expected it to be. Rafe drove somewhat sensibly, you expect it had everything to do with you being on the back. It wasn’t until you were out on a dirt path that he started pulling the bike up to ride solely on the rear wheel and you found yourself clinging onto the boy for dear life.

“Rafe!” You scream, fists clutching at the front of his blue polo shirt, “Stop!” You squeeze your eyes shut as the boy just laughs.

Finally he stops the bike and you jump off, ripping the helmet off your head and throwing it at the laughing boy, “Are you actively trying to kill me?”

“Yeah, I bring all the girls out here to kill and bury them.” He chuckles and puts the stand down on the bike before climbing off.

“Right, I don’t doubt you do.” You turn around, arms crossed over your chest, “Where are we?”

You walk towards what seems to be the edge of a cliff, looking down you can see the waves crashing angrily against the rocks below.

“This is the best spot to come when you want to be alone,” Rafe appears behind you, you can tell what he really means is this is where he comes when he wants to be alone, “No one comes up here and there’s no phone signal.”

“The perfect place to hide a body.” You smirk over at him.

“Exactly, or the perfect place to learn to ride.” He grabs your hips and turns you back towards the bike, pushing you towards it.

“Wait, what?” You ask looking back at him over your shoulder, “Here? What if I fall off the edge?”

“Don’t drive towards the edge.” Rafe laughs as though it’s obvious and you suppose it is, “C’mon, sit.” Rafe pats the seat of the bike.

You debate with yourself whether you should get on the bike or not, you’d never even learnt to drive a car let alone a bike, so you knew you probably shouldn’t. But for some reason although you barely knew Rafe you trusted him. So you climb onto the bike, gladly accepting the helmet he offered to you again and pushing it down onto your head.

Rafe shows you the ignition and the controls you need to move it and to brake. You start off slow, conscious about falling off and breaking your neck. Rafe followed behind you like a parent teaching their child to ride a tricycle for the first time. Slowly you began to build speed, but nowhere near as fast as Rafe was driving and you definitely were not going to be pulling any wheelies. Rafe stands to the side, arms crossed over his chest as he watches you ride up and down the small path.

You stopped the bike next to the boy, pulling the helmet from your head with a large grin plastered across your face.

“That was amazing!” You comment, letting Rafe put the stand down so you can climb off, “I’m not saying I’d want to ride one all over the place, but up here where no one else is was really fun.”

“And you didn’t fall off the edge!” Rafe comments in a congratulatory tone causing you to laugh.

You sit down beside Rafe on one of the large rocks near the cliff edge, you hadn’t realised how long you had been out with the boy but the sky was beginning to turn orange as the sun set for the night. The view was breathtaking and you hadn’t noticed it while you had been riding.

“I can see why you like it up here.” You murmur, eyes fixed on the point where the sky meets the ocean, the orange of the sky reflecting off the sparkling waters.

“My father taught me how to ride up here.” Rafe admits, Sarah had told you all about Rafe and Wards relationship and in all honesty you felt sorry for him. You couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to strive to meet perfection for someone who doesn’t give you a second glance. Although it doesn’t excuse the things Rafe does, it at least gives you some understanding as to why he does them. He’s crying out for the attention he craves and for some unknown reason you want to give it to him.

You don’t reply. Instead you reach out and rest your hand on top of his letting the silence speak for you.

----

“Are you coming with me today or are you hanging out with Rafe again?” Sarah teases you, you were worried that she was going to be upset with you but the girl seemed more amused than anything.

She was already home when you got back past dark with Rafe and she had grilled you for the details of your day. She’d informed you that Rafe wouldn’t be like that with just anyone and that he must have a crush on you. But you’d just laughed her off, telling her he’s not the person she thinks he is. You knew siblings usually had some kind of rivalry, and seeing how much nicer Ward was to Sarah than Rafe you weren’t really surprised he acted hostile towards his younger sister.

“I don’t know, I don’t know if Rafe even wants to hang out with me again.” You shrug following your friend into the living room.

“Well you’re more than welcome to come with me, but Rafe’s usually out by now and he’s still lingering around.” She nods towards the back doors where you can see Rafe through the glass.

He’s sitting on one of the garden chairs, leg bouncing as he taps against the arm of the chair. Sarah gives you a little push towards the doors and you soon find yourself walking through them, face lighting up as Rafe notices you and smiles.

“Hey.” He stops tapping and sits up straighter.

“Hey.” You reply, you stand in front of him semi awkwardly, what if he hadn’t been waiting for you and had in fact just been enjoying sitting in his backyard in the morning sun.

“Do you have plans today?” He asks, you think he sounds a bit hopeful.

“I’m not sure...Sarah said I can go with her, but she seems more adamant I should hang out with you.” You both turn to see Sarah through the window trying her best to look like she’s not watching the interaction, “Maybe she doesn’t like me.”

Rafe chuckles, “Or maybe she just wants me to hang out with someone other than my bone head friends,” He chews on his lower lip, “I know somewhere we can go, if you want.”

That somewhere turned out to be a shaded woody area with a stream running through it. A stark contrast to the beach you had been to multiple times in the last week you’d been here. But you liked it, the shade was a welcome break from the sun and the sound of the water gently flowing over the rocks was calming.

Rafe stops walking beside a large tree, pointing with a smile towards a badly carved ‘R’ in the bark, “I think I was about eight when I did that.”

You smile and trace the letter with your finger. You weren’t sure if it was a conscious decision by Rafe to bring you to places that meant something to him, but you were glad that he was. It meant more than just taking you to random touristy destinations and it felt like you could peek a little more inside of him with each trip.

Rafe tugs on a piece of rope hanging from one of the branches, it was frayed at the end and looked like it had seen much better days. But after Rafe had tugged on it a couple of times and deemed it safe he offered it over to you. You laugh and accept the rope, giving it a tug of your own as you look up to where it was tied around the tree.

“It’s safe, tyed it myself.” Rafe comments as he watches you.

“When you were eight?” You shake your head when Rafe nods, “If I fall in you better run.”

You prepare yourself for a wet landing but miraculously the rope doesn’t break and you make it to the other side of the river in one piece and completely dry. You throw the rope back over to Rafe and he soon joins you on the other side.

“What if we come back and the rope’s snapped?” You ask watching the rope slowly swinging back and forth over the water.

Rafe watches too for a moment before tugging your arm to follow him, “You get wet.” he states.

You let Rafe guide you through the trees, the river never far from your left side as you make your way deeper into the woods. You find yourself grabbing onto Rafe’s arm as you climb over roots and fallen branches, sure no one ever came down here.

“Is this your second favourite place to hide bodies?” You ask with a laugh as you duck under a low branch.

Rafe hums, “No bodies here,” He replies, “Actually, I haven’t been here in years. I kind of forgot about this place until I was thinking about places to take you.”

“You were thinking about places to take me.” You ask, a small fluttering feeling creeping into your stomach.

“I promised you adventures, didn’t I?” He looks back at you with a smile.

You nod quickly, “You did,” You agree, “I look forward to more, then.”

Rafe led you the rest of the way in comfortable silence, both of you enjoying the calming sounds of nature instead of forcing a conversation about something meaningless. You stop beside Rafe when the river pools out into a small lake beside a cliff, water cascading down the side of the rocks.

“Wow,” you gaze across the water, “How have you found the nicest places?” You step in front of him, walking along the edge of the water towards the waterfall.

Rafe follows behind, “I spent a lot of time exploring when I was younger,” He tells you, “I could come here and be anything I wanted.”

“It’s amazing.” You state, “I wish we had places like this back home. We just have busy streets and over crowded parks.”

“C’mon.” Rafe hurries in front of you, grabbing your hand on his way past.

He helps you climb over the rocks towards the waterfall, both of you getting completely soaked as you pass under it, but even in the shade the weather was hot and sticky so you really didn’t mind. Behind the falling water you find a small cave, you weren’t sure if it was big enough to even be called a cave, but you had no other name for it. The stone inside the cave was dry and you let Rafe pull you to sit inside it.

“I used to come here when I was in trouble. No one could ever find me.” He laughs.

“I guess no one would think to look for you behind a waterfall.” You grin, “I wouldn’t. How did you even find this place back here?”

“Like I said, I used to do a lot of exploring.” Rafe shrugs as he moves forward and sticks his hand into the water. “I like listening to the water.”

“You can close your eyes and imagine you’re anywhere,” You comment, letting your eyes fall shut but you soon open them again, “I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be, though.”

Rafe looks at you over his shoulder, a smile gracing his lips and you couldn’t help but think this one was real. Unlike that first day, this one reached his eyes setting his whole face alight with pure happiness. You like it. You like his smile and you like being the one to put it there.

You spend most of the morning sitting behind the waterfall talking about anything you can think of. Most of it mundane small talk but some of it deeper. You tell Rafe about a few things from your childhood, seeing as he’d shared a couple of his own. Then as it drew closer to lunch time he took you to a diner on the edge of town which mostly sold various breakfast foods.

You knew you had asked Rafe for adventure, but you decided you would be happy doing absolutely nothing as long as he was in your company. You liked his company and you hoped he liked yours enough to spend most of the summer with you.

----

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?” You ask letting Rafe lead you towards a large stone building.

“Do you not have surprises where you come from?” Rafe teases, “I’ll explain, if I tell you, it kind of ruins the whole thing.”

You roll your eyes and slap his arm playfully. Rafe had told you to be ready by midday and to wear something nice. So you’d picked out a red summer dress and actually bothered with your hair and make up for the first time during your trip. As you got closer to the building you saw a sign which read ‘Wine Tasting.” and quickly tugged on Rafe’s arm.

“We aren’t even old enough to drink!” You hissed but he just shushed you and entered the building.

The waiter didn’t seem to bat an eyelid at the fact that you were both clearly only late teens and not over 21. He greeted Rafe by name and led you both over to a table on the balcony. The table was already set up with multiple glasses of various wines and you raised your brows at Rafe.

“How do they just let you in?” You ask in a hushed voice.

Rafe simply shrugs, “Perks of being a Cameron.” He grins and hands a glass over to you, “I’ve tried them all before.”

“I can’t try all of these, I’ll be drunk before one!” You laugh but take the glass from him.

“You’re not actually supposed to drink them.” He comments.

“You think I’m not going to drink them?” You raise one brow at him and bring the wine to your lips. It was a rose and it tasted much sweeter than you usually liked but still you swallowed it, “If there’s wine, I’m drinking it.”

Rafe laughs, shaking his head in amusement as you finished the rest of the glass. You both tried every wine on the table, Rafe getting rid of the wine like you’re supposed to, you downing each glass and getting steadily more drunk as the afternoon drew closer.

“So, which was your favourite?” He asks.

You purse your lips, mulling over the question in your seriously tipsy state, “The dry white.” You finally decide.

Rafe nods at your choice and excuses himself from the table. While he’s gone you look out over the balcony, the view mostly fields and trees but it was picturesque in the summer sun. You hum contentedly to yourself before snapping your head back round at the sound of a bang on the table. Rafe stood with four bottles of wine in his hands, motioning for you to follow him.

“You brought four?” You laugh following him down the stairs and back towards the car.

“Yeah, now we get to drink the best one and get blissfully wine drunk.” You can’t help but think that is the best idea yet.

You soon find yourself sitting in Rafe’s backyard as Rafe had put it ‘blissfully wine drunk’. Two bottles had already been finished, Rafe currently working on the third while you had had more than enough for now. You were in that state of drunk where you still knew what was going on, but you were much more confident and comfortable. Your vision was slightly blurred around the edges and if you stood up you knew you wouldn’t be able to walk in a straight line. You knew you shouldn’t be this drunk this early in the day, but Rafe was making you laugh and you felt like your body was full of butterflies so you didn’t care what anyone else would think.

Soon after it had started to get dark and Rafe had attempted to make you grilled cheese - you’d ended up eating it burnt and you hadn’t tasted anything quite so bad in a while, but you had both laughed about it - you found yourself stumbling down towards the beach. Hand tight in Rafe’s half because you wanted to hold his hand, half to stop you face planting the floor.

Rafe had brought the last bottle of wine with you, he stood it in the sand between you as you flopped down into one of the dunes. Dusk was settling across the sky casting a dull but calming hue across the beach.

“I didn’t plan on getting this drunk,” Rafe comments as he pulls the bottle from the sand and takes a sip, “But I’m not complaining.” He offers the bottle to you and you take it, gulping down the liquid before placing it back in its hole.

“You’re a bad influence. I’ve never been drunk at lunch time before!” You point an accusatory finger in his direction.

“Well you’ve been missing out all this time.” Rafe swings his arm around your shoulders and you let him pull you against his side.

His touch is warm in the cool evening sea breeze and you lean into him. Rafe has the power to make you feel completely comfortable around him all the time. You’d never met someone like him before and were quite sure you never would again. He was a one off. One of a kind. Special. So when he kissed against your hair line you smiled and held him closer. He was too good to let go off, physically and mentally.

You tilt your head up, eyes lingering on his willing him to read your mind. And he does. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. It was short. A peck more than anything. It was nothing and everything all at the same time. You laid your head back against his shoulder, missing the smile spreading across Rafe’s lips.

----

You sit outside with Sarah, nursing your hangover with a strong coffee as the girl laughs at your self induced misfortune. You weren’t going to tell her about the kiss you and Rafe had shared the night before, honestly you weren’t sure yourself if it meant something to him or if it was just a result of too much to drink. But she’d asked, and you’d admitted it, and she hadn’t been annoyed like you'd expected. Actually, she seemed pretty excited, gushing over the details and letting out a little squeal after you finished.

“It would be so good if you dated my brother! He needs someone good in his life, and you actually look so cute together!” She taps her feet excitedly against the ground, “So what’s on the lovebirds agenda today?”

You open your mouth to tell her that actually you have no idea what you’re doing today. But you don’t get a chance to speak. Instead the table shakes violently as something heavy lands on it and then a second later both of you are covered in water.

Sarah screams and in your hungover state it takes you a second to process what had happened. You look up, glaring at a smiling Rafe hanging out of his bedroom window, it was more than a little unfair that the boy didn’t look the slightest bit affected by yesterday's drinking session.

“I’d move if I were you.” He calls down before another balloon full of water lands on the floor beside you.

Both you and Sarah bolt up from the table and out onto the grass, both dripping wet with angry scowls.

“Rafe you asshole!” Sarah calls up as she wrings her hair out, “I’m not staying here for this, it’s you he’s trying to get!” She points a finger at you before quickly running into the house.

You’re glad when you look up and Rafe is no longer at his window, but that relief quickly dies when he appears at the back door, a balloon already on its way over to you. You scream as it hits your arm, the cold water covering your body.

“This isn't funny Rafe!” You shout, running as another rubber bomb comes towards you, “I’m hungover and now look at me!”

But Rafe doesn’t care. You spend the next ten minutes running away from his assault, finally being able to defend yourself when you grab the hose and point it at him. By the time Rafe is out of balloons and he’s managed to wrestle the hose out of your hands both of you are dripping wet. Rafe’s hair is plastered against his forehead and covering his eyes, yours is hanging down like rats tails. You wring out your shirt, glaring still at the boy but it’s more playful now.

“And what exactly brought that on?” You huff letting go of your shirt.

Rafe shrugs, moving towards you and wrapping his arms around your waist, “I like hearing your laugh.” He answers pulling you closer.

He leans down, his lips finding yours in a wet kiss thanks to your fight. This kiss is longer, his lips pressed against yours firmer than the previous night. Now you knew that it wasn’t some drunken act and that Rafe had in fact wanted to kiss you, and this made you smile against his lips. This time, now you were sober, you could appreciate the moment more. Kissing Rafe was like something you had never felt before. It sounds cheesy to say you felt a spark, and you weren’t sure that’s how you would explain it. But you felt light, like the weight of everything was taken off you at least for a moment. And your body felt warm, like your blood had turned to honey and you felt cosy and safe.

You rest your head against his chest when you finally pull away, ignoring how uncomfortable his wet shirt felt against your cheek. And you stood there holding each other, wet in the morning sun for what felt like forever.

----

The next week is full of Rafe surprising you with something new each day. Sometimes it’s small like a day of baking - which you both suck at - and sometimes it’s big like a shopping trip to town where he treats you to new shoes and dinner. It’s also filled with a lot more kissing and a lot more cuddling. One day, when the weather is more miserable than usual summer days, you make a blanket fort in his bedroom and spend the day cuddling, eating marshmallows and watching cheesy movies on netflix. That was one of your favourite days. To block the world out and spend the day wrapped up in Rafe’s arms was how you wanted to spend every day for the rest of your lives. But that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy the other days too. The days when Rafe would plan someone special or take you to a meaningful place from his childhood. You knew that no matter what you were doing, if it was with Rafe, you’d enjoy it.

You sat on the deck of the boat, watching as Rafe dropped the anchor setting the boat in its place. The yacht was impressive, but Rafe could have taken you out on a rubber dingy and you still would have loved every second of it.

“Have you ever been jetskiing?” Rafe asks.

“You know I don’t really like the water, Rafe.” You sigh, standing up as he walks over to you and resting your hands against his chest.

“I know, but I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s like riding the bike but bumpier.” Rafe presses a kiss against your forehead, “Do you want to try it? We can come straight back on the boat if you don’t like it.”

You sigh, looking up at his hopeful eyes and you find you just can’t say no to the boy. So you smile and nod your head once, “But if I call in you have to come save me!”

Rafe promises to follow right behind you and helps you get geared up in a life jacket, which made you feel a little better about the coming experience.

It took a couple of minutes for you to get used to sitting on the jet ski before you even moved anywhere and Rafe sat patiently beside you. He held your hand, brushing his thumb across your skin until you announced you were ready to try.

Rafe was right when he said it was like riding a bike and you were glad he had shown you that first. You didn’t dare go very fast, but you still had fun riding around in slow circles. You soon felt comfortable on your own and Rafe sped off, showing off and throwing himself at waves.

He was soaking wet when he appeared back beside you, a grin on his face as he pulled up next to you.

“Show off.” You comment with a giggle.

“Had to give you a show baby.” He leans over and presses his lips against yours.

——

That evening Rafe bundled you into his truck with a duffle back and an armful of blankets. No matter how many times you asked where you were going he refused to tell you. So I’m the end you shut up and turned to stare out of the window watching the town fly by and turn into fields and trees.

Finally he pulls up in the middle of nowhere, grabbing the things from the back and jumping out of the car. You follow after him, noticing a tent set up in a clearing, a faint orange glow coming from inside of it.

“We’re camping?” You grin hurrying ahead of him to check it out.

Inside the tent was fairy lights strung along the room, some blankets and cushions already laid across the floor. It looked cozy and cute, you turned to him, hugging his side tightly.

“This is so cute! When did you set this up? I was with you all day.” You raise a brow at him before helping him set the extra blankets down.

“I got Topper to help out,” he shrugs before pulling you down into the tent beside him.

“I love it.” You grin and lean over pressing a kiss to his lips.

That night you lay stargazing until your eyes hurt and then you climbed inside the tent and curled up in Rafes arms. You talked, you laughed and you kissed. You slept with Rafe for the first time that night, it was slow and sweet and something you will remember forever.

You had never planned on falling so hard for the boy. Thinking this would be a summer fling to tell your friends about and that was it. But now you knew it was more than that. A lot more. You had never felt for anyone the way you felt for Rafe. When he was around you your world life up and your cheeks always hurt from smiling so much.

You couldn’t imagine not getting to see him and touch him every day but time moved too quickly and the end of summer reared its head.

The last night on the island you spent at the annual carnival. You had gone with Sarah, spending half of the night with her and her friends before disappearing off with Rafe.

You went on the Ferris wheel, ate sweets and hot dogs and got lost in the fun house. By the end of the night you felt sick from all the food and insanely happy.

“I’ll come visit you in a month or two, okay?” Rafe promises as you stand on the docks, tears slipping down your face.

You nod your head, letting him kiss you one last time, “Okay. I’ll call you every day.” You offer a smile, rubbing your wet cheeks before disappearing onto the ferry.

You sat on the deck, waving to Rafe until you could no longer see him through the crowds and you were sure he was gone.

You kept your promise of calling him everyday, chatting endlessly about anything you could think of. You loved talking to Rafe because nothing ever felt forced. He made you laugh and smile and e butterflies never went away when you thought about him.

It was the end of the month and you excitedly ripped into the letter addressed to you, expecting to see Sarah’s hand gushing to you about John B and asking you all sorts about your and Rafe. But it wasn’t Sarah’s neat hand you saw but something a little scruffier.

Y/N

      I don’t think I’ve ever written a letter before but I remember you saying how you liked them so I thought I would try.

I wanted to say thank you for giving me the best summer, I don’t remember the last time I felt so alive. Being around you is a feeling I want to keep forever, I can never get enough of talking to you, kissing you and hugging you. You make my world a better place and give me a reason to keep trying to be a better person. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me, you’ve helped me more than you can imagine.

I look forward to seeing you next month, I’m counting down the days until I can hold you again.

P.S. Sarah says hi, and that she knew this would happen all along.

                                            Love, Rafe x

[bookwormsid1015]

BNHA: This Time Around

[A Semi-CloudNight Oneshot]

“Aaahhh! It feels so good to unwind like this,” Fukukado Emi, best known as the Laughing Hero: Ms. Joke, laughs in relief as she leans forward against the bar countertop, a mug of whiskey in hand. She’s dressed in her civilian outfit, which consists of high waist blue skinny jeans and a light yellow crop top tee shirt with a bold white stripe stretching across her chest. Her mint green hair is held back in a low ponytail, and black slip-on sneakers adorn her feet; her outfit accented by  a black choker around her neck and three beaded bracelets coating her right wrist. 

Joining her at their favorite bar is Tatsuma Ryuko (Ryukyu), Takeyama Yuu (Mt. Lady), and Kayama Nemuri (Midnight). Nemuri’s rosy red lips tilt upwards into a sly smile, and she raises her glass of red wine to her lips. Unlike Fukukado, Nemuri is dressed to impress, with her beautiful dark blue dress fading to a vibrant pink as it travels down towards the helm of her dress, perfectly matching her light complexion. Black three inch heels adorn her feet, and her deep indigo hair is held over her head in a messy bun, staked into place by a black pin that distinctly resembles a fox tail. 

Nemuri pushes up her crimson red glasses, still smiling. “Me too,” she agrees happily. “My agency has been so busy lately with all the League of Villain madness. It feels great to just be in the moment every now and again.”

Sitting on Fukukado’s other side, directly across from Nemuri, Takeyama stares down at her small glass of champagne, her eyebrows knitted together in exhaustion. The Giant Hero, like Ms. Joke, is dressed in casual clothing, wearing short blue jean shorts with a simple orange tank top and a single star-shaped golden necklace around her neck. Her long, wavy blond hair is tied back in a ponytail, which spirals down to her midback in beautiful platinum waves. 

“I knew starting my own agency was going to be hard, but I didn’t think it would be this hard,” Takeyama confesses, exhaustion lacing her tone. “Like, I can’t effectively take down any villains because my size destroys so much property, and I hate that my fans only seem to like me because they want me to step on them! It’s so weird! People are weird and gross!” She drops her head onto the table and groans mutely into the polished wood. “And here I thought the big city would be different from home.”

Tatsuma places a gentle hand on Takeyama’s back and pats it reassuringly. Like Nemuri, Tatsuma is dressed for the occasion in a simple yet elegant violet dress with a chain of pearls around her neck and diamond earrings in her ear. It is no surprise Ryukyu would wear such beautiful jewelry, though given her status as a dragon, Nemuri wasn’t surprised.  “Don’t worry, Takeyama. We all start off rough, but guaranteed your agency will become amazing,” the Dragon Hero encourages the blond heroine gently, and Takeyama’s shoulders only slightly relax.

Fukukado taps her chin, her dark green eyes thoughtful. “Come to think of it, aren’t you and Kamui Woods, like, a thing now? I heard his agency is successful, maybe you can talk to him about it,” she says, and Takeyama reaches across the table with frantic shushing gestures.

“Don’t say that outloud! We want to keep our relationship private! The last thing we need is the media crawling up our asses about it,” she snarls at the Laughing Hero, and Fukukado raises her hands in surrender.

“Oops! My bad!” Fukukado yelps and frantically checks around her in case anyone was listening in. Nemuri and Tatsuma make eye contact from across the table and snicker to themselves.

“Kamui Woods is a very dependable man, though,” Tatsuma adds. “I’m proud of you.”

Takeyama buries her face in her hands. “Can’t we talk about anything else?” she whines.

Fukukado’s smile returns full force, and a shit-eating grin splits across her face. “But why though? Everyone loves hearing about a good romance!” She cups her hands to her cheeks and swoons giddily. “Like, just the other day, I ran into Eraserhead at a coffee shop! It was so amazing, like something out of a romance novel!” 

Nemuri’s cerulean eyes widen slightly. “Oh yeah, he told me about that. Didn’t he leave the second he saw you?” she asks.

Fukukado’s cheeks flush red, and she chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, yeah, he did. Something about not wanting to deal with my energy or whatever. But that just makes it so much more exciting! I mean, look at him, all dark and mysterious and broody~!”

“Not to mention a total hobo who forgets to shower half the time,” Nemuri adds. The other heroines at the table chuckle.

“AND he’s the only one who I haven’t gotten to laugh yet!” Fukukado goes on, ignoring Nemuri’s remark. “One of these days, I’ll get him to laugh! If not, at least smile! Yeah, that would be amazing.”

“Why not use your Quirk?” Tatsuma asks.

Fukukado shakes her head adamantly. “He erases Quirks, remember? Besides, I don’t just wanna make him laugh! I want to really make him laugh, you know? Something authentic. Using my Quirk would just be dishonest and mean.”

Nemuri shrugs her shoulders, though a part of her is secretly relieved. She’s known Eraserhead since high school, and knowing him, the main reason he wouldn’t want to try dating Fukukado would be because he doesn’t want to be influenced by her Quirk. Then again, this is Eraserhead they’re talking about. After what happened in high school, he probably wouldn’t give her a chance either way. He has trouble enough making friends, let alone dating. The cruel reality of hero work scarred him, and the mere thought of it hurts her heart. Fear guides him, and Nemuri desperately wishes she could do something to help.

“What about you, Midnight?” Nemuri perks up, and finds the eyes of the other heroines glued on her. Fukukado leans forward eagerly, her dark green eyes sparkling like diamonds. “Do you have anyone you’re with right now? With your gorgeous looks and bedazzling personality, I’ll bet yes!”

Tatsuma casts Fukukado a significant look. “Ms. Joke, your bi is showing,” she comments, startling a laugh out of Takeyama.

Nemuri glances down at her wine glass and slowly sways it around in her grasp, watching the dark red liquid roll within its transparent chamber. Her smile becomes wistful. “I’ve had flings, but serious relationships? Nope. I haven’t had any in years. Probably not since high school,” she replies honestly.

Takeyama lifts her head, blinking at the R-Rated Hero in surprise. “What? There’s no way. Your entire aesthetic is about intimacy! Especially the sexy kind,” she gapes, and Nemuri chuckles at her reaction.

“It’s true. I haven’t had a proper boyfriend since my third year in high school, and to be honest…” Nemuri’s smile becomes bitter, and she chuckles in spite of her hypocrisy. “I don’t think I’ll ever date again. Hurts too much.”

Fukukado grimaces slightly. “Oof, was he really that bad?” she asks, and Nemuri immediately shakes her head.

“No, no. In fact, he was amazing. He was the sweetest, funniest, most loyal person I’d ever met. He cared about everyone unconditionally, and he would always go out of his way to help people. Hell, this one time, he found a kitten stuck in the rain and brought it with him to school,” she reminisces, smiling at the memory of him. Even now she can clearly see his broad, glowing smile, and the image sparks an old pain in her heart. “He was my everything. Even though we wanted different things out of life-- with him wanting to start an agency with his other friends, and me wanting to start the Midnight Agency-- we still promised we’d be together. That we'd make it work.”

Fukukado’s brows are drawing together in concern, now, and acid rises in Nemuri’s chest at the realization in her eyes. “Wait, you’re talking about him in the past tense,” she says. “What… happened?”

Nemuri’s smile falls completely, and she utters a deep sigh. “The worst,” she responds. “About fifteen years ago, we were alerted to a villain attack in Tasomiya Ward, a giant monster with the ability to stockpile power.” Tatsuma and Fukukado’s eyes widen nearly simultaneously, no doubt recognizing the event, but Takeyama blinks at Nemuri in confusion; she’s too new to the career to know. 

Her voice shudders, but still, Nemuri goes on, “All of us were there. Me, Eraserhead, Present Mic, and… him. We did everything in our power to stop the monster, but it was too big. We couldn’t do anything. I was evacuating everyone out of the area while he, Present Mic, and Eraserhead went to go stop the villain. Civilians got hurt; there’s no way to protect everyone. But he…”

The image washes over her, stealing away all her breath in an instant. She can smell the salty rain clouds, she can feel the slick pavement beneath her boots, the uncomfortable way debris clings to her sweaty skin. Above all else, she remembers rounding the corner just in time to see a cloud explode to life over a class of kindergarteners and their teacher, leaving them protected but him exposed. Their eyes made contact, and before Nemuri could do anything, before she could call out his name or take a step forward, a giant chunk of debris was upon him, and she was helpless to watch it swallow him whole.

The scene barely lasted for more than a few seconds, but she can still see it. The sickening crunch resonating through the air as his skull cracks open, the violent spray of blood from his head… She suddenly wants to throw up her wine and crumble into a ball. Old insecurities she thought she’d abandoned were suddenly creeping up the back of her mind, whispering terribly in her ears.

“Your quirk is useless. It couldn’t protect anyone, especially not your loved ones.”

“It’s because you’re so useless he’s dead.”

“Why are you even a hero?”

“Midnight?”

Nemuri snaps out of the memory and finds the other heroines looking at her in worry. She quickly realizes she’d dropped her wine glass to cover her face, and while thankfully the glass didn’t break, the wine was splattered all over the table top. It looks exactly like his blood.

“Midnight,” Tatsuma reaches out to her and gently takes her hands, leading them away from her face and gripping them tightly. Nemuri clings onto the contact, desperately wishing her hands were someone else’s. “Are you okay? Do you need a moment?”

Nemuri shakes her head slowly and slips her hands out of Tatsuma’s reach. She hates it when people look at her with those worried eyes. “It affected all of us,” Nemuri goes on. “Obviously, it hurt me. I lost my boyfriend and the guy I wanted to… but Present Mic and Eraserhead lost their best friend. Their brother.”

Fukukado shakes her head, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh, Midnight, I’m… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to open an old wound,” she whispers in horror, and Nemuri shakes her head again, this time with more resolve.

“It’s fine, really. It gave me a horrible wake up call, that above all else, we are heroes. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not. Every day we go out there and put our lives on the line. We could live, we could die, but what matters most is protecting others.” She glances down at the wine spilled all over the table, and her own reflection stares back at her with wary acceptance. She sighs, long and tired. “Watching him die made me realize how easily life can be lost, how tragedy can strike in an instant. That’s why I want to embrace my youth for as long as I can, so I can live enough for both of us.” Her reflection’s lips quirk upward into a trying smile. “That way, when I die, when I can finally see him again, I can tell him about all my adventures with pride.”

Nemuri looks up and finds herself staring into the wet faces of the other heroes. Tatsuma, Fukukado, and Takeyama are all staring at their senior hero with wide, tearful eyes, and Nemuri likes to think in this moment, they felt more respect for the seasoned heroine.

Nemuri smiles back at them and wipes the tears from her eyes. “Remember that, you three,” she tells them. “Go forward knowing nothing-- not even love-- is certain, but don’t let it scare you. The world is scary, dangerous, and even cruel, but what’s most important is cherishing the people in our lives.” She raises her wine glass and what remains of the wine sloshes around in its glassy imprisonment. “To living.”

Fukukado, Tatsuma, and Takeyama look between themselves. One by one, they lift their drinks to the sky, each glass a different shape containing a different drink. “To living,” they echo, and tap their glasses together with Nemuri’s. The R-Rated Hero smiles truly, her heart swelling with pride.

Nemuri drives home alone that night.

Of course, the four heroines stayed at that bar for hours, laughing and drinking together once the shock of Nemuri’s lost-love bombshell faded away. As their senior, Nemuri only drank a few sips of her wine every now and again (although the gruesome memories made her want to get wasted out of her mind), and she allowed the other heroes to have their fun and get as wasted as they want. Takeyama and Fukukado were joking around, having a blast singing old pop culture songs together, occasionally getting Tatsuma to join in whenever the Dragon Hero got over her shyness.

Eventually, Nemuri dragged the three drunken heroines back into her car (thankful they all decided to take Nemuri’s car there and back), and she drove all the ladies home, making sure they had all their possessions with them before leaving. Once she dropped them all off at their houses and made small talk with any partners they had waiting for them, she decided to gather her wits and go home herself. Today was a long day, and she was surprised to find herself emotionally exhausted so soon.

The bar is a fifteen minute drive from her house, but as soon as she leaves her car and strides up the driveway, she pulls open the front door and steps inside her dark home. Despite it’s nice size, being a two story house with multiple bedrooms and bathrooms, only Nemuri lives in it, though she’s not completely alone.

“Meow!” Nemuri looks down, and her heart lifts slightly as her tabby orange cat comes bounding over to her, high in energy despite his age. Nemuri kneels down to collect him in her arms, and she cradles the cat like a baby.

“Hello, Sushi-baby,” she coos at him as she kicks the front door shut and locks it behind her. “How are you doing? Were you keeping the house safe from big bad strangers while I was gone?”

Sushi meows in response and nuzzles her bust.

The house is big and empty now, but one day, Nemuri hopes she’ll marry and settle down, maybe start a family all her own. It won’t be for a while, and honestly, Nemuri is scared to start dating out of fear of herself or her partner dying, but she decided a long time ago to live by her words so she bought the house regardless. She’s getting older now, and at thirty-two, she knows she doesn’t have much time left. At the very least, Oboro would want her to be happy, even if her happiness isn’t with him. She just hopes she can find someone accepting of her tastes and interests, like he did. 

Nemuri enters her living room and sits back in her recliner, pulling out her phone to amuse herself. Sushi immediately adjusts himself in her lap and kneads her legs with his paws, turning around in a circle before plopping down into a comfortable loaf. Nemuri scratches him behind the ears with a faint smile.

“We’ll be okay,” she says, more so to herself than to the cat.

Sushi’s lazy purring is her only response.

Nemuri leans back into her chair and sighs. Tomorrow will be a new day.

[autumnleaves1991-blog]

Day 11: Walk the Dog - William ‘Ironhead’ Miller

Day 11: Walk the Dog- William ‘Ironhead’ Miller 

This story was requested by @oldstuffnewstuff​. Thank you so much for the request! I love writing for requests! Thank you for all the rebloggs, comments, and likes. :)

Also gonna tag @myathleteeggspizza​ for our love of William Miller. 

November Writing Challenge Masterlist 

Day 10: Used Tea Bags - Javier Pena 

William ‘Ironhead’ Miller liked numbers. His whole life since leaving the military was run down to the exact second the way he wanted it too. He would wake up at 0600 daily, stretch for eight minutes, down his first cup of coffee, and go for an eight mile run through the park. Then he would return home, take a five minute shower, get dressed, drink a smoothie, fill his tumblr with coffee, and leave for the base at 0730 sharp. 

Every single day was the same. But, that’s what someone with as many demons as he had needed. The structure and security of the same routine. Not one minute unaccounted for. Until the day he met her.

It was a chilly November morning when he first noticed her. She had on a black leggings, a maroon crewneck sweatshirt, black ankle boots, and hair in a messy bun atop her head. She was sitting at one of the unoccupied benches near the Veterans statue, reading aloud a book to a golden retriever lying quietly with her head in her owner's lap. 

He faltered for a moment, and one minute became two, became three and when he looked down at his watch he cursed to himself. He was behind schedule. When he looked back up they were gone. He turned each direction frantically looking for the girl and the dog but they were nowhere to be seen. He wondered for a moment if he had only imagined it before the beeping of his watch drew his attention and he picked up the pace to make up for the lost time. Lost time, what a novel concept for a person who counted everything in his life. 

The next morning when he entered the park he couldn’t help but look for them as he ran around the path. Keeping his eyes open for the golden retriever and her alluring owner. Will couldn’t help the pang of disappointment at missing them again. The routine remained the same day in and out for another week before Will began to give up hope about seeing them again. On Saturday after his run he came home and left at exactly 0730 again but this time he was meeting his old army buddies for breakfast at a diner across town. 

The diner looked old fashioned amongst the new and shiny chrome buildings that had begun to pop up around town but it wasn’t the outside that mattered. Will walked in and the bells tinkled on the door to notify the wait staff, and he nodded at the familiar faces before finding his friends. He slid into the worn, cracked leather of the booth next to his brother, shaking the other two men's hands across the table. 

The waitress came over and brought him a steaming mug of coffee, two packets of sugar, and one creamer before going back over to her other customers. Frankie pointed to the cup before back at Will, “you come here way too often if they know exactly how you take your coffee.” 

“Every Saturday,” Will tells him smiling as he prepares his coffee, taking a sip of the liquid gold, “Gladys knows just the way I like my coffee, and my breakfast. Why ruin a good thing by going somewhere else?” 

Frankie laughs at him, “Some people actually like to go out and try new things. Are you still doing the same routine every day and doing that counting thing?” 

Will only nods before he’s interrupted by Gladys who takes their orders, not even bothering to ask Will before she goes off to put their order into the kitchen. “Thank you Glady!” Will shouts at her and she raises a hand in acknowledgment. 

“So how the hell have you guys been?” Santiago asks over the rim of his mug. 

Benny fills them in on his training, and his new girlfriend he met at a fight a few months ago. Frankie tells them all about the house he just bought and is slowly renovating and shows them some new pictures of his daughter Juliette, who just turned three the past month. Frankie made the single father life look flawless. Santiago was in town for the next two months on break from down in Columbia where he’d been helping the local military take down a drug lord. All of them had something new to share, something exciting, except Will. 

“So what about you Will?” Santi gestures to him as they all dig into their breakfast. 

Will cuts himself another piece of pancake off for himself before running it through the syrup, “The same shit as usual, run, work, eat, sleep. On Saturdays I come here for breakfast and on Tuesday and Thursday I help Benny with training and Friday night is usually fight night. Besides that nothing is new.” 

“Youshouldgetadog” the words jumble together out of Benny’s mouth as he tries to talk through the French toast pouring from his mouth. 

“Damn it brother chew your food and then talk,” Will laughs. 

Benny swallows before trying again, “I said, you should get a dog.” 

“A dog? Why the hell would I get a dog?” he asks. 

“Just hear me out brother, you love routines right? You run every morning and it seems to me that your a little lonely, a dog could go running with you, and keep you company.” 

Will contemplates the idea for a moment and his thoughts can't help but go back to the beautiful woman from the park with the golden retriever. “Yeah, maybe… do we even have any pet shops around here?” 

“Fuck pet shops,” Frankie tells him, “you need to go to the humane society and get a rescue dog, they are the best. Juli and I will even go with you, she would love to see all the dogs. How about 1300 today?” 

Will thinks for a moment before agreeing, “ok...but just to look. I don’t know if I am ready for a dog yet.” 

“Ok I’ll meet you there with Juli and we can go look at the dogs, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you go and fall in love with one and take it home today.” 

Will scoffs, “Sure.” 

When Will pulls his black 2014 Ford truck into the parking lot he feels slightly overwhelmed by all the animals running about. There is a large fenced in yard with exactly fifteen dogs of various shapes and sizes. When Frankie pulled into the spot next to him, he began to feel more at ease with a familiar face and when Juli came running full speed at him he couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face. 

“Uncle WIll!!” Juli screamed tackling him into a hug. 

He swung her up into his arms and she squealed, “hello sunshine! How’s my favorite girl doing? Are you keeping your daddy busy?” 

“Of course! Daddy told me we're gonna help you find a puppy today? Can we get one too daddy?” She leans back in Wills arms and pouts at her father who crosses his arms. 

“I get the impression you and her had this discussion before you came today?” Will asks laughing at the exasperated expression on Frankie's face. 

“More than once,” Frankie nods to him before taking the toddler back, “Sweetie we talked about this, we are not getting a dog today, just Uncle Will.” 

Her face morphs into a pout and both men can feel the beginning of a tantrum coming so they deflect, “Let’s go sunshine! Don’t you want to see all the dogs?” Will leads the way into the shelter and when the bell dings as he crosses the threshold he stops. Frankie runs into his back before pushing the rest of the way inside. 

Sitting at a worn desk is the woman from the park. She’s wearing overalls with a white shirt covered in pink and yellow flowers. Her hair is pulled into a bun on top of her head but three long strands have slipped out and are dangling in front of her face. She’s wearing dark rimmed glasses, and has her nose buried in a book. On the ground under the desk, sticks out a wet black nose of a golden retriever snoring. 

Will coughs lightly to draw her attention and she snaps her head up and seems slightly startled. “Oh hello! I-” she puts her bookmark in her book and the dog rises to its feet, noticing the new arrivals, “Welcome to the Dog House, uhm how can - how can I help you today? She stumbles over her words, and a blush rises up her neck. 

“Hhh-uhm hi,” Will’s arm rises up and he scratches the back of his head, “Dog...I’m looking for a dog.” He can’t keep his eyes off her. The girl he had spent the last couple weeks thinking about, was right in front of him. 

She giggles, “Well then you’ve come to the right place, I’m Andy, you can follow me.” 

Will follows her like a lost puppy...no pun intended. Frankie just watches the two of them, smiling to himself. It’s obvious that Will likes this girl the way he’s acting if only he could see her looking at him the same way. Frankie keeps his thoughts to himself and follows behind the two. 

“What kind of dog are you looking for? Something big? Small? Athletic? Lazy? We have all kinds here.” she asks, gesturing around to the cages as she leads them to a small enclosed area outside. 

“I like to run, in Aveley Park over on 140th street, and I would like a dog to run with. I’m Will by the way,” he offers her his hand. When they touch they both feel a surge of electricity and they don’t let go, continuing to shake hands until Frankie not so subtly clears his throat.

She blushes deep red, and quickly drops his hand smiling shyly at him, “That’s where I like to go with Benny! We go almost every morning for a walk and then I usually read. My sisters have been in town the last couple weeks so we’ve been going in the evenings lately but they’re gone now so maybe I will see you some morning.” 

“Oh uhmm, whose Benny?” Will asks, he didn’t notice a boyfriend last time he saw her. 

“Oh my dog!” she gestures to the dog that has been slowly following between them. 

From behind, Frankie lets out a snort. Will glares at him before meeting your confused expression. “Benny is my brother's name…I guess he and the dog have some things in common. My brother is kind of like a lovable golden retriever.” 

She laughs out loud, and it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard and he’s desperate to hear her laugh again. “Well maybe your Benny and my Benny should meet someday.” 

“I would like that,” Will tells her, smiling. 

The two just stand there smiling at each other like two lovesick fools when Frankie puts down Juli who's been squirming in his arms. She toddles over to the dog and begins gently petting his head, his eyes close and his tail wags and everyone laughs watching the adorable toddler and the dog. 

“Ok,” she slaps her hands together, “athletic dogs, good for running…” 

“Maybe one a little older?” Will hesitantly asks, “I don’t run as fast as I used to.” 

“You know I think I have the perfect dog for you,” she walks over to the kennel and comes back with a gorgeous chocolate lab. Will drops to his knee and gestures for the dog to come and sniff him and he does so without a second thought. 

“What’s his name?” Will asks looking up at her. 

“Tom.” 

Will freezes and in his peripheral he sees Frankie frozen too, both of their eyes are on the dog. “What’s his name?” Will whispers. 

“His name is Tom, they found him wandering around six months ago, they think someone left him. He’s house trained, and very well behaved. We-what’s wrong? You both look like you’ve seen a ghost…” She looks between Will and Frankie. 

Frankie sniffs, “our old army buddy, he passed away a few years ago...his name was Tom.” 

“Oh...oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to bring up any bad memories.” 

“I’ll take him,” Will tells her quickly, “how do I adopt him?” 

“Oh that’s wonderful! Come inside with me and we will get the paperwork all filled out, you can pay the $25 fee and he’s yours,” she places a leash around Tom and hands him to Will. When their hands brush he burns from her touch and she pulls her hand back. It’s not one sided. Juli and Frankie follow behind. Juli is more excited then everyone when Uncle Will tells her the dog is coming home with him. Just thirty minutes later and Will is the proud owner of a new dog. Frankie takes Juli outside to strap her into the car seat and head home. 

“I hope I’m not too forward, but maybe one morning we could go running together...I go for a walk there every morning like I said but for the right partner I could be persuaded to start running in the mornings.” 

“Actually...I would like to walk the dog with you tomorrow morning if you're free... it’s hard to get to know someone when running...then maybe I could take you out for breakfast?” Will feels as nervous as the first time he gave a speech. 

“Yes,” she doesn’t hesitate, “yes, I would like that very much.” She slips a piece of paper from her back pocket with her phone number on it, “I was kind of hoping you would ask. I wrote it as soon as you decided on the dog.” 

He laughs before taking the paper from her fingers, sliding the number into his pocket. He gently grasps her hand and presses a light kiss to her knuckles. “I can’t wait till tomorrow morning,” he tells her before walking backwards out the door. 

Frankie has already left with Juli and he loads Tom into the front seat of the truck, before getting into the driver's seat and buckling his seat belt. He pulls out onto the road and sits at the stop sign, Tom crawls across the seat and places his head in Will’s lap. He puts his head gently, before pulling out to go home, thinking about tomorrow with one beautiful girl, and two dogs. 

Day 12: It evaded me- 

[hotchley]

the slave of duty: aaron and dave

Surprise guys, I started the conversations series! I have no idea how many there are going to be, but there are several living rent-free in my head, so... we shall see!

Anyways. This is what happened between Aaron and Dave after the end scene of 5x10. It’s mainly dialogue (cos you know, conversations) and there is very little point to it, however, I had fun writing it!

I think that’s everything....

read on ao3!

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, minor character death

“You were right,” Aaron said. They were alone again. Aaron’s hands had been shaking when they were leaving the graveyard. Dave had spotted the tremble before Aaron could hide it.

He tried not to think about the blood that had stained his hands when they had entered the building. He’d never been afraid of Aaron, not even in that moment, but now more than ever he was afraid for him.

Who was supposed to take his hands and convince him that he was alive and human and good and kind now? Haley was dead. Aaron wouldn’t let anyone else touch him. Not now. 

Dave had offered to drive him back to the apartment. Hotch hadn’t even put up a fight. He had just shrugged and gotten into the passenger seat, jaw slightly clenched as he stared out the window.

Jessica and Jack were out. Hotch mumbled something about going to the shops and offered to make coffee. Dave had wanted to say no. He didn’t want to be there, noticing how the carpet didn’t quite fit in one space, or how, if you knew where to look, you could just about make out the bullet hole.

But he knew Aaron. Knew how he would bury his pain the moment his son came through the door. Knew that he would act like he was fine when he returned. If he returned. Rossi knew what Aaron had said just moments ago, but there was still time for him to change his mind.

Aaron did not trust easily. An invitation into his apartment- his apartment and not his home because this was not his home, had never been his home- was an invitation into his heart. His mind. 

Dave was not going to let that get away from him. He had lost the love and trust of so many people in his life, Aaron’s name was not going on that list. So he said sure.

Which was how he find himself clasping a mug of too-hot coffee he didn’t really want as Aaron took a sip of water. One of the few things that would not destroy his stomach.

“Was I? What about?”

“You said that I had a family. And that when we got Foyet, I would have to make a decision, to make sure I didn’t let the purest thing that had ever happened to me get away. But I got so caught up in everything that I never stopped to think, and now...”

Rossi set his mug down. He knew he had always been a little bit dramatic, and the way he went about things was not always the way Aaron wanted them to happen, but this felt different to those occasions.

“Now what?” he prompted.

Aaron looked up, tears forming in his eyes, thumb drawing circles over his knuckles. He look both so much younger and older than he really was. There was a vulnerability in his eyes that Dave hadn’t seen since he first joined, but a heavy sadness that hadn’t been there before.

“I lost my family months ago. But that was a temporary thing. Now she’s not coming back- which is all my fault- and I’m so afraid of hurting my son that I’m going back to the same job that killed her.”

Dave sighed. He should have known that his dramatics would go completely over Aaron’s head. In his opinion, he lost Haley the moment the divorce papers came to the office instead of his house. Because the Haley he knew would never be that cruel. But anger changed people, and she was gone now. He’d like to remember her goodness.

“Aaron,” he said.

The other man looked down. “Dave. Not now.”

“Yes now. Because you didn’t kill Haley. That was Foyet’s decision. You did what you could. And you’re not going to hurt your son. Not in the way you fear you will. But when I said that, all those months ago, I wasn’t talking about Haley. Or Jack.”

“Dave, you said my family,” Aaron said. Even despite the water he was sipping, he had a headache. Dave and his stupid flare for dramatics wasn’t helping either.

"And I meant us. The team. I meant Spencer Reid, who you have always treated as a son. I meant Penelope Garcia, who remembers what your favourite cookies are. I was talking about Jennifer Jareau who reminds you that monsters can be defeated and Derek Morgan who has and always will trust you with his life. I meant Emily Prentiss, who would die before betraying you. I meant me, who has seen you angry and hurting and not flinched. We are the people that loved you unconditionally through everything."

"I-"

"We're your family Aaron. Even if you want to keep your distance because you're scared of hurting us, we love you. We're not walking away or going anywhere. And I know that terrifies you, but it's the truth. When I told you to not tell the purest thing in your life get away, I meant don't lose us."

"But I've already done that," Hotch said. He did not shout. And that, perhaps more than anything that had happened over the past few weeks, hurt David Rossi. Because Aaron wasn't even trying to fight. He had already given up. Already decided that the team could not and would not love him anymore. 

"Have you?"

"Dave, I humiliated Reid for lying about his injuries when I had done the exact same thing. I put myself above the case, days after I made Morgan unit chief, which completely undermined him. I insulted Emily and our friendship, lashed out at Penelope and JJ. I've been a terrible person. Derek had to pull me off a dead man's body. Classic overkill." He laughed as he said the final two words, but there was no humour.

"You did do all of those things. That much is true, yes."

Aaron glared. "That's not exactly convincing me of anything good."

"Because you're not letting me finish. Yes, you fucked up and you did the wrong thing but that doesn't change anything. We still love you. I know what your childhood was like. I know that your parents loving you carried the price of perfection and silence. I know that towards the end, Haley's life carried the price of changing your nature. But we aren't them. One bad thing isn't going to make us run away."

"But it should. I killed a man with my bare hands. Nothing more. We've worked enough cases to know what happens after that. I'm a terrible person."

Dave did not know how to convince Aaron that he was not going to become a case file on their desk. Because the truth was, he was not sure himself. There was every chance that now Aaron had done it once, the urge to do it again would overpower him. He knew what Aaron needed to hear, but he would not lie to him. Not in this moment.

"You are not a terrible person Aaron," he settled on. Because every time he looked at him, he saw the wide-eyed rookie he met in Seattle who just wanted to save the world. But sometimes saving the world was impossible, and right now, the world was Aaron.

"Dave. I'm too much of a coward to be around my son so I'm going back to the same job that killed his mother. The only real parent he ever had."

It was too much. It was just far, far too much. Dave slammed his mug of coffee down on the table, feeling slightly guilty when Aaron flinched at the sound, but not guilty enough to apologise for it. He needed to speak before Hotch fell down the hole of despair.

"Have you been listening to me? Your job did not kill Haley. That was Foyet. And you are not going to hurt your son. Not in the way you think you will."

"How can you be sure?" Aaron asked. 

"Because you are a good man. Because you have fought, every day of your life, to break that cycle of abuse. And you have never stopped fighting for what is good and what is right. Because even when you had just lost the love of your life, you sent your son away out of fear that he would realise what the blood was."

Aaron turned away and Dave knew what had to be said. What had to be done. Because Derek Morgan was an excellent leader, and one day, he would take over that role. But he would do it because it was Aaron Hotchner's time to step away and be with his son. He would not do it because Aaron was scared.

"Haley asked you to teach your son what love was," he said, each word carefully calculated. He needed to say your. Because Aaron still did not view himself as Jack's father, even though everybody else did. Because what Aaron did not understand was that it was not about being perfect. It was about being enough.

Aaron looked at him, mouth parted. He hadn't realised. In all the hurt, panic, emptiness, anger and grief it had never once occurred to him that the team would have heard that last conversation and final confession. It was stupid, but he just hadn't. "She did."

"The best way for you to teach your son about love is to show him what it does to people. It makes them happy. It makes them smile. And sometimes it makes them cry. I know you, Aaron. I know you think that coming back means that you're failing Jack but you won't be. You will be teaching him that family is much more than blood. That when you find your passion you hold onto it. And that love, for better or for worse, can and will be unconditional."

And Aaron shattered.

He slid from the couch to the floor, covering his mouth as sobs wracked his body. It was like all the pain he had been keep inside him since the day George Foyet broke into the same apartment they were sat in and stabbed him finally overwhelmed him. His body shook and his breathing started to sound more choked, but Dave was frozen.

It was only when the coughing started that he managed to force himself to act. He dropped to his knees and sat beside Aaron. He just hoped that he would recognise who was touching him and remember that he was safe.

"Hotch. It's Dave. Breathe with me. Yes, that's it. Okay. You're okay. It's all going to be okay."

Before he was aware of what was happening, Aaron's arms were wrapped around him in a tight and desperate hug. It was almost painful. Dave let it happen. Aaron needed something that was real, and genuine and grounding. The last person he'd held had been Haley, her perfume stained with the scent of blood and her body cold. Dave smelt like expensive aftershave and he was warm and his heartbeat was a comforting drum.

"I just don't get how people as good and kind as the team could love me unconditionally. Haley did her best, but that wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I'm never enough. And I am so fucking terrified that one day, the team are going to realise that, and I will just be alone and broken, like my father always said I would."

There was not time for Dave to explain that it wasn't that his love for Haley wasn't enough, it just wasn't what she needed and that was okay. Because to Aaron, unless he was perfect, he was failing. And he knew that Aaron would not believe him. The only people he would believe about that would have been Haley, but was now Jessica.

"You are enough. You were enough then and you are enough now. The team are never going to think you're not enough because you are. You have given them a family and hope and a purpose. You have done more for them than you will ever understand and they love you. I love you. And on the days where you can't lead, one of them will step in. You've already seen it happen."

"What if I come back and I can't do it? Then what?" Aaron was searching for a reason now. Any reason that would mean the team would not love him the way Dave believed they would.

"Then we will support you. And we will miss you, but we will let you go because sometimes that is what love is. But we won't hate you. Or resent you. We'll stll just be a phone call away because we are your family. And it's not always pretty. Sometimes it's ugly."

"Do you promise you won't hate me?"

Dave had always been slightly different to the team. He had always been the one Aaron went to. The one that could talk him down and convince him that he had done the right thing. He had watched Aaron grow and harden and break. He had taught him that the palm pressed to his cheek was an action of love and given him the title of lead profiler. He'd been a coward after the Boston Reaper as he left Aaron to pick up the pieces. But he'd returned when Jason Gideon left without saying goodbye to the men that had held the team together. One through their ability as a leader, the other through their ability as a friend.

When Dave thought of the months between Jason's departure and his return, he thought of the toll it must have taken on Derek. He was the one that had provided the emotional comfort Aaron had been too closed off to give, even though he was battling his own anger at being left.

"I promise Aaron, on everything that I hold sacred."

Aaron relaxed against him, leaning back against the couch. Dave took the glass from the table and tilted his chin, forcing Aaron to take small sips. When half the glass was emptied, he took the glass and placed it on the table once more.

"Thank you," he whispered, voice still a little hoarse.

"You're welcome," was Dave's response. It was easier than having to explain that Aaron did not need to be grateful.

"By the way, I expect your paperwork from the most recent case on my desk by Monday," Aaron added, a slight grin on his face.

"I'd expect nothing less," Dave said, ruffling Aaron's hair slightly.

They were going to be okay.

[ithinkweallsing]

Spilled Beans

Spilled Beans- Remus Lupin x Fem Reader

Coffee Shop AU- total fluff!

AN- Fair warning this is my first attempt at writing! I might try to do a second part, not totally sure!

y/n- your name

y/h/c- your hair color 

y/h/l- your hair length 

y/e/c- your eye color 

Word Count- 1.1K 

________________________________________________________________

He was here again.

Usually, he would walk in, wearing a well-loved knit sweater, and order his typical small black coffee before going to sit in the corner of the store. (The two big armchairs residing in his resident corner always seemed to be unoccupied when he would show up.) Sometimes he would bring in stacks of papers and scribble furiously on them, making you think that perhaps he was a teacher or professor.  

Other times though he would come in with a book and sit for hours, eyes flicking anxiously back and forth across the page as he becomes fully engrossed in the plot, casually biting his lower lip during nerve-wracking scenes.

You noticed these things a few weeks into your now-steady routine. You were determined to try and offer him something that was not as disgusting as black coffee. Today, he came in and greeted you with a soft smile as he walked up to the counter.

           “How about a caramel latte this time?” you asked hopefully.

           “No thanks, just a black coffee,” he responded with a slight grin.

           “I swear, one of these days I will get you to try something new,” you said with a slight chuckle.

You were never sure why, but there was an inexplicable draw you felt towards him that you couldn’t quite understand. You didn’t know anything about him, the magnetic guy in the back corner of the shop, other than his name of course, which you wrote on the side of his cup every time he came in - Remus.

________________________________________________________________

You were here, again, thank god. Y/n.

He was always worried that when he came in that you wouldn’t be here, but, unfailingly, every time he walked through the door, he would see your y/h/l y/h/c hair, and gorgeous y/e/c eyes. Eyes that seemed to keep thousands of secrets yet welcome him in explicably. He breathed a silent sigh of relief.

Not that he should be worried, since you had had the routine down for months now, but still. Every time he saw you behind the counter it made him feel like he was being enveloped in a warm hug or taking the first sip of a perfect mug of black coffee. He thought you looked perfect in your dark jeans and t-shirt with a black apron layered over, both emblazoned with the store logo.

His eyes followed you around the store as you worked, quickly glancing back down at his coffee or book when he could sense you turning to glance at him. Still, he couldn’t help himself. There was something there, something about you that made him look again every time you turned away.

________________________________________________________________

Fate would have it that this peaceful balance had to change.

Of course, this surface level discourse had to be disrupted one day. And it would make even more sense that it would be disrupted by your unparalleled talent for tripping over your own two left feet.

You were balancing several containers of new coffee beans, while desperately trying to see above the stack you were holding, and not run into anyone or anything. You were doing a passable job, until you weren’t.

You had a few feet ahead of you until you could set the large stack down, and of course that was when a customer suddenly sat up and pushed his chair back- right into your walking path. Unprepared for the interference, you dropped everything in your arms, getting shoved to your left by the impact of the chair and landing in another armchair to the side that happened to have a cute guy holding a cup of tepid black coffee occupying it.

As you crashed into the chair, a warm hand wrapped around your waist, keeping you from seriously injuring anything worse than your pride. The contact sent a spark down your spine that settled where the hand pressed into your side. The black coffee he had been holding slipped from his hand and down the front of your shirt.

“Oh shoot!” You yelped in surprise. You looked up at the rest of the man attached to the hand. It was him. Remus.

He looked at the coffee stains on you in shock and horror. “Oh dear, I am so sorry!” He exclaimed, quickly rushing to his feet, effectively moving you off, to look at the damage done by his black coffee. You glanced down for the first time, having been distracted by his glittering brown eyes and were met with a wet mark down the front of your apron. Thank god the apron was black or else this might’ve been even more embarrassing.

“Well, that’s unfortunate,” You stated matter-of-factly. His eyes widened at your nonchalant response to getting assaulted with coffee. “Those coffee beans will be hellacious to clean up.”

He looked down at the ground to see it covered in loose coffee beans, the containers open and face down on the floor.

“Are you alright?” He asked anxiously, worried that you were upset with him for staining your clothes and for grabbing you without permission. (ugh a respectful king)

“Yeah, for sure. Don’t worry about it,” You said. “You would be surprised at how often stuff like this happens to me.” You smiled. “The perils of the uncoordinated I suppose but usually I don’t have cute guys grabbing me when it happens.”

He blinked, looking confused.

“Thank you for catching me, I think that you saved me from a nasty fall,” You continued, looking up at him with a slight smile.

A slow smile spread across his face. “Of course, love, what kind of person would I be if I let beautiful women, quite literally falling for me, risk getting hurt?” He questioned, with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You blushed and looked down at the floor.

He cleared his throat and said, “I really am sorry about the coffee, I can pay for a replacement or I can get it dry cleaned, or-”

You cut him off with a laugh and responded, “No I don’t think that my t-shirt needs replacing or dry cleaning, maybe just a run through the wash will work, but you can take me to dinner if you want.” You blushed before adding, “Ya know, to make it up to me.”

He looked at you, shocked, as if he couldn’t believe you wanted to go out with him. Maybe he misheard you? You were certain that you had just asked him to dinner, but maybe he hadn’t gotten the message.

He stood there frozen before asking, “With me?” in an incredulous tone.

You shook your head and laughed at his disbelief. “Well yeah, I feel like I should get to know the guy that saved me from falling on my face,” You said.

“I would like that, a lot,” He admitted, a blush now staining his cheeks.

“Me too. Tomorrow, at 6, meet me here?” You asked.

“Sounds wonderful, tomorrow,” He responded.

Tomorrow.

[kitkatd7]

Matters of the Heart and Cheesecake

Request: I’m actually working on the request you sent me weeks ago when I was on my tumblr break. I got so excited when I saw your post about taking requests. ;) This is one of my favorite things and super cliche, but can I have Steve with a coffee shop AU??

Requested by: @star-spangled-beard-burn

Request status: Open! Feel free to send me something!

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Literally none besides my grammar errors because I didn't edit fully, sorry

Word Count: 1,208

A/N: Sorry this took me so long! I hope you like it! I had fun writing this <3

---------

You were at the small coffee shop in Brooklyn every morning with your laptop and notes, studying. Or you were supposed to be studying anyway- most of the time you were writing. Steve was also there every morning with his sketchbook and pencils. He was the best part of your day, no doubt, with his easy smiles and stormy blue eyes. How could you not fall for him? Surely that would be impossible for any woman. You just didn’t know if your feelings were unrequited. God, you wanted to know, but you didn’t ask. You were afraid of the answer, with good reason. How embarrassing would that be? What would you say? “Hey, I was wondering if you're as desperately head-over-heels for me as I am for you?” No, that wouldn’t do, so you keep quiet. At least for now. 

You share a love of art; He loved to read the stories you write, the words you make live and breathe. He often asks after them, your new ideas, plans and plots. And you're in love with his sketches, the way his drawings seem to jump off of the pages and into your heart. You have sort of a… trade of sorts; His sketches for your stories. Except for the one drawing he never lets you see, always saying ‘when it was time, he would show you.’ And it drives you crazy. You want to know what it is, but you wouldn’t push him for it. You would wait. Not patiently, but you would wait. 

Today’s no different, you’re sitting in the corner booth with your laptop in front of you, wrapped up in the world you were creating, painting with your words when a familiar figure slid in opposite of you, giving you a mug filled with steaming liquid. You look up into blue eyes, smiling your thanks. 

“Hey doll, what are you writing?” He asks, enjoying the way you look away and your cheeks tint pink at the nickname.

“Nothing right now,” you murmur, “I’m just trying to outline this story, but it’s not working very well,” you chuckle lightly. 

“Can I read it?” He questions, looking like a hopeful puppy. 

“When it’s done, silly,” you laugh, shaking your head at his childish manner. 

You go back to your writing while he pulls out his pencils and sketchbook, you stop when you feel his gaze resting on you. Glancing up at him you give him a confused smile. “What?”

“Nothing,” he mumbles, looking back down while a blush creeps up his neck. 

Smiling to yourself you go back to writing. Or at least you try to... It’s not your fault he’s so distracting. 

You don’t have to look up to know he’s staring again. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Looking at me like that!” You chuckle.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” he mutters unconvincingly, eyes once more downcast. 

Not a minute later you feel his gaze resting on you again. “Captain, if you keep looking at me like that you’ll have to ask me out,” you tease, your eyes gleaming with amusement as he blushes furiously. Of course, you would love if he actually asked you out, but for now you’ll settle to tease him and watch that adorable, embarrassed look color his features. 

A few minutes later you look back over, your eyebrows drawing together in confusion at his expression. “Steve?”

“Hmm?”

Tilting your head you look at him more closely, trying to figure out what he’s so focused on. “What are you drawing?”

Your eyebrows furrow further when he doesn’t even look up much less answer, his tongue darting out to wet his lips and what looks like a slight frown appears on his face. “Hang on, doll. You’ll see.”

Knowing you won’t get an answer until he’s ready to give one, you turn back to your story. The only sounds are the muffled talk of the occasional customer across the coffee shop, the click of your keyboard and the soft scratch of his pencil. 

An hour later and you’ve finally finished most of your story and your craving a cup of coffee. Looking across the table you watch Steve silently for a moment, noticing how he looks nearly exactly as he had an hour ago. 

“Stop staring.” 

“I wasn't stari- Okay, maybe I was staring, but that’s only because you are being super secretive and quiet,” you explain, rolling your eyes playfully and watching a slow smile spread across his face. 

“I’m almost done, just a second and you can look, okay?” 

Arching a brow, you smirk. “One.”

You laugh as he huffs and shoots you a non-convincing glare. 

“Okay, I’ll be back in one minute,” you sass. Standing, you make your way to the counter, ordering cheesecake for the both of you before taking your seat again. “Here, I got you the cherry one cause I know it’s your favor-” you cut off after setting down the plates, your eyebrows knitting together again when you see a piece of paper lying face down next to your computer. “What is it?”

“Well turn it over and you’ll see,” Steve chuckles. But he looks a little- anxious?

Turning it over, you glance at Steve and back at the paper, a slight feeling of anger stirring in your chest. “Is this a joke?” you ask, staring at him. 

Shock and then confusion flash over his face. “What? No- I wouldn’t joke about that. Why do you think it’s a joke?”

“I dunno,” you murmur, looking back at the picture with the beautifully scrawled message below. “I thought maybe you just knew I like you and you were making fun of me…Why else would you do it?”

He scoffs a little, a smile playing about his lips and his eyes gleaming. “I’m not making fun of you, am I not allowed to want to go out with you?” he asks, gesturing back to the paper as proof; It’s a picture of you with your hair down and a smile dancing on your lips, your eyes seemingly bright. It looks so… Real. Beneath the life-like version of you in a swirling, outrageously pretty handwriting is written, “Go out with me?” 

“It’s so beautiful…” You breathe in awe, tracing your fingertips over the edges of the paper gently. 

“Is that a yes?” Steve laughs, eyes fixed on your face. 

“Absolutely!” You beam, unable to stop the smile from spreading across your lips. “I’d love to go out with you.” 

“Oh thank god!” he chuckles, “I've been working on it for weeks, but today I knew I had to finish it. I wasn’t sure if you would say no or not,” he admits, slightly bashful. 

You turn his question on him as he smiles brightly at you. “Am I not allowed to want to go out with you?”

“You are, I just wasn't sure if you would want to… Now give me my cheesecake,” he laughs, trying to take the plate away from your side of the table.

“No way, I’ll trade you though.”

Arching an eyebrow he looks at you suspiciously. “For what?”

“Cheesecake for a kiss,” you say, smirking at him. 

He leans across the table towards you, murmuring, “Sounds like a good deal to me.”

-------------------------------------------------------

Any and all feedback is so appreciated <3

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[written-on-the-trees]

Snow Day Plans - Sebastian Danzig Fan Fiction

Prompt: Shovelling Snow

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1750 words

Summary: Merry's neighbour Sebastian is really the best neighbour she could ask for...and maybe more.

   The local news kept going on about the chaos the snow had caused, but Merry had stopped listening in favour of sighing at her daughter: “Looks like it’s me and you today, kid.”

   Her daughter Sariah didn’t respond, too happy sitting at the kitchen table, munching away on her waffles. She was a little too young to really understand snow days yet, anyway, having only started pre-school this year. She wouldn’t mind tagging along with Merry as she ran her errands for the day…but Merry certainly wasn’t really looking forward to braving the results of last night’s snowstorm with a four-year-old in tow.

 Sariah was a great kid…but she was still a kid, and there was only so much Merry could ask of her, especially when it was freezing and everyone was acting like a crazy person because of the snow.

 Merry was already dreading it.

 At least most of the errands she nodded to run could actually be put off until the snow melted, but the trip to Walmart was not one of them. And neither was clearing her driveway.

   “Beautiful, but only until you remember what a pain it is, right?”

 Merry turned towards the sound of the voice calling out to her as soon as she got outside, smiling when she saw her neighbour Sebastian standing there with a shovel, half-way through clearing his own driveway: “Tell me about it.”

 “I’d love to, but my useless brothers - ” he yelled the last three words, looking pointedly at his front door, where his two younger brothers were standing with steaming mugs, were watching on calmly: “ - are leaving me to do this all alone, so I don’t think my lungs could take it.”

 “If you have energy to bitch, you have energy to shovel.” Remington replied casually, before turning to smile brightly at Merry: “Hey Merry - do you want some coffee? We just made some.”

 More than used to the brothers’ unique we-love-each-other-but-will-torture-each-other-at-every-opportunity dynamic, Merry just laughed: “I think I’ll leave it for your brother; he’s going to need it.”

 “At least someone around here thinks about my needs…” Sebastian muttered, making Merry laugh as she ducked into her garage for her own shovel.

   The brothers continued to bicker, although the actual words were lost on Merry, muffled by the walls of the garage.

 Even though she’d had some reservations when she’d learned her new neighbour was in rock and roll band that was growing in popularity by the day, who often had his younger brothers: the other members of said band, round, Merry actually really liked Sebastian and his brothers.

 Sebastian was the textbook definition of a good neighbour: pulling her trash bins back from the curb when he was retrieving his own, always stopping for a chat when they passed each other coming in and out of their homes, didn’t pull faces when Sariah was playing (and wailing excitedly) in the backyard. And his brothers were equally sweet. Emerson had bought her flowers after she’d let him borrow some coffee one morning, and Remington was always so happy to crouch down at talk to Sariah, going along with her babbling and responding as if it was a real two-way conversation, even before Sariah had really been able to speak properly.

 Just remembering all the nice interactions she’d had with the brothers - especially Sebastian - was enough to bring a smile to Merry’s face…right before it fell into a frown.

 Even after searching for almost ten minutes, she hadn’t found her shovel. She was absolutely she’d put it back in here after the last time she’d used it…but that didn’t mean it would still be in here, she realised, when she remembered her ex-husband coming round last week to drop Sariah off, and asking to borrow something out of her toolbox. It wouldn’t be unlike him to take the shovel too and not tell her.

 Sighing, she resolved to asking Sebastian if she could borrow his, heading out and hoping she caught him before he was finished clearing his own driveway…only to find that he had finished, but instead of going inside where it was warm, he was now shoveling the snow away from the path between Merry’s front door and her garage.

   “Oh, Sebastian, you don’t have to do that!”

 Sebastian, being the sweetheart that he was, just looked up at Merry to smile: “It’s okay. No sense in two of us getting sweaty and exhausted.”

 “You shouldn’t have to worry about sorting out my driveway if you’re already exhausted…”

 “Don’t worry about it. It’s not like I’m going to be going to the gym for a while, in this weather, so I’m going to have to get my work-outs in somehow.” he chuckled, before gently shooing her towards her door: “Go get in the warm, I’ll sort all this out.”

   Merry wanted to argue…but it was cold. And she knew Sebastian wasn’t likely to give in, no matter how much she argued: it’d be easier on both of them for her to just go inside.

 So she did, but not before giving Sebastian a grateful look. She also started some fresh coffee for when Sebastian was finished - because she refused to let him help her, without at least offering something in return, even if it was just coffee. Sebastian did so much, considering they were just neighbours, and Merry didn’t want to take advantage of his willingness to be kind.

 By the time she’d checked in on Sariah, who was still happily sat at the kitchen counter, colouring in a new page of her colouring book, and checked on the coffee, Sebastian had not just finished the path, but the driveway too, and she had the chance to wave him into the kitchen before he headed back to his own house:

   “I made you some fresh coffee, in case your brothers finished what was at your place.”

 “It’s not unlikely.” he smiled wryly, before the expression turned more genuine when he looked at Sariah: “Hey, Sariah.”

 “Hi Mister Sebastian.”

 Merry rolled her eyes at Sariah’s vague response, but apparently Emerson was just the same when he was drawing, and Sebastian thought her daughter’s focus on her colouring in was adorable - so Merry let her daughter’s slight rudeness go and handed Sebastian a mug of coffee: “Here you go, splash of creamer and no sugar.”

 “Thank you.” Sebastian responded gratefully: “So, I’m guessing the schools are shut today?”

 “They are indeed,” Merry nodded, reaching over to ruffle her daughter’s hair: “So little miss is going to come to Walmart with me, aren’t you sweetie?”

 “Mo-oom.” Sariah complained, batting at Merry’s hand: “I don’t wanna go out. ‘S cold.”

   Sebastian hid his smile behind his coffee mug, while Merry just rolled her eyes again.

 She couldn’t blame her daughter; it was bitterly cold outside, and Walmart was going to a warzone with it being so close to Christmas and the snow from last night, and the more snow that was predicted to come down tonight and tomorrow. If she could leave Sariah at home, she would, but with no-one to watch her she didn’t really have a choice.

   “Sorry, baby, but you’re a little young to be staying home alone yet.” she leant down to kiss Sariah on the top of her head.

 Her daughter grumbled, but went back to her colouring without complaint…but Sebastian looked thoughtful: “I could always get Emerson and Remington to watch her, if you don’t mind?”

 They’d done it before, in an emergency, but snow was hardly enough to make Merry desperate: “I couldn’t ask them to do that, honestly. You’ve already been so helpful today.”

 “You’d actually be doing me a favour. Otherwise they’ll insist on coming to Walmart with me, and it’ll mean at least another hour and a half in there.” Sebastian shuddered dramatically: “They could watch Sariah, and then we could go and do the shopping without my brothers trying to elbow drop each other off of freezers.”

   It actually sounded pretty good.

 Sariah could be safely watched at home, and Merry wouldn’t have to turn into an aisle to see Sebastian holding his head in his hands while Remington pinned Emerson to the floor and gave him a noogie. It had been funny to her, but Sebastian had looked ready to disown them both. Sariah got on with all three of the brothers, but she got on especially well with Emerson…it really was a good idea.

   “Please mum?” Sariah looked up at her: “I really don’t want to go out in the snow.”

 “Okay,” Merry relented: “Only if Emerson and Remington don’t mind.”

   And that was how she ended up in the passenger seat of Sebastian’s car, being waved off by her daughter, Emerson, and Remington.

 The drive was filled with easy conversation, Merry never finding it awkward to spend time with Sebastian. It felt like no time at all before they were in Walmart, pushing their carts around the aisles, still chatting about the all the same things they had in the car.

 It was one of the main reasons Merry liked Sebastian, really liked him; he was just so easy to be around. Merry never felt uncomfortable with him, or like she had to walk on egg shells to keep him happy. By the end of her marriage to Sariah’s father, Merry had been so used to feeling nervous that it had felt like it was going to be her default setting forever…but with Sebastian it was completely different.

 With Sebastian, Merry felt like she could really just let loose, knowing that he would never hold it against her or judge her. He was always willing to drop an arm over her shoulders as he laughed with her, or wrap his fingers around hers whenever Sariah wasn’t around to see her mum getting so close to a man who wasn’t her father. She was still adjusting to not having her father in the house, and no matter what Merry personally wanted, Sariah had to come first, and Sebastian had been very understanding of that...so, for now, Sebastian was just Merry’s neighbour, but in the future…she was eager for so much more.

 And when she felt Sebastian drop a light kiss on the top of her head, she was filled with hope that she was going to get it.

[imma-new-soul]

Radio Static

A/N: This was suppose to be something else but turned into.. well this. Thanks to @mushyjellybeans for telling me to keep this and save it for late 💛💛 and for @babiiface95 for motivating me to write my first smut scene

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: You were a field nurse for the U.S Army stationed out in a foreign country. When most the soldier’s you were stationed with meet a grim demise it left you stranded and alone in an unfamiliar setting. After month’s of surviving on your own you find a wounded soldier and nurse him to heal. Suddenly your small comfortable world is not so small anymore (shit I suck at Summarys .. oh well)

Warning: Sexual content ( the section that is NSFW is labeled and doesn’t affect the plot in anyway so if you want to just skip it you can DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER ), Angst, Strong language, mention of blood and injury, last but not least!! FLUFF? Maybe? I think

Word Count: 2.8k. MASTERLIST

You didn’t miss the softness and warmth of your bed in Brooklyn or the coffee from the shop in the corner, even though they had the good stuff compared to whatever was sitting in your small steel mug. Those things seemed like luxuries from a life so long ago. Stiff green cots and food that came from small tan bags were your new luxuries and you didn’t mind at all. 

The tour you were on was supposed to only be six months in a dense forest of some foreign country but ended up lasting a lot longer than anyone expected. All of the men in the group you were deployed with were long gone. Wounds too severe to continue fighting or worse, some had succumb to their injuries and never made it home. 

The war had taken everyone from you. Desperately you called out for rescue on a radio that was left behind from one of the soldiers. Each moment you waited by it, hoping to hear a response but none ever came. Your dreams drifted into the void of its own silence

For many months you’ve lived in this forest alone  surviving off of whatever was left at the old basecamp. Time slowly diminishing your rations and your hope of rescue. Being a field nurse you learned many things and being resourceful was one. 

Seeing that your food was running low you set off into the jungle every morning to scavenge for your next meal. Over time scavenging became hunting and hunting became second nature. Living this way, having to survive off of the land and all it provided wasn’t a curse but a blessing in disguise.

The shine of the moonlight kissed your skin goodnight and the insect’s that chirped sung you sweet soft lullabies. The pitter-patter of small and large creatures did not frighten you, it made you feel less alone. 

****

The day had been kind to you in the way that there were plenty of berries and fresh water to find. You smiled as you felt the cool water underneath your feet but your smile faltered when you heard a familiar sound. It was close enough to hear the bass of the noise but fair enough for the sound to almost dissipate in the air, making it harder to track.

You took a step forward hoping the noise amplified towards the direction you walked. The deep sound bounced through the tree line drawing you further into the dense. You were able to finally make out the sound “Help me, Someone PLEASE help me!!”. The shouts cut through the air till you finally found its source.

Beneath a fallen tree laid a soldier bathed in blood and mud faced down on the dirt. His screams muted when he heard the dispersed twigs from the tree crack under your feet. You rushed over to him lifting up the truck of the tree that pinned his arm to the ground.

Instantly he rolled onto his back heaving for air and clutching his wounded arm. The pressure from the tree helped stop the blood flow from the deep cut that was on his forearm but as soon as the pressure was taken off, blood started to drip from his cut soaking the already damp ground. In one blink you ripped a strand of cloth from your shirt and tied it around his arm stopping any further blood loss. 

He winced in pain, moans and goans slipping from his lips. “It’s going to be okay, just breath, you have to breath” you instructed and with hot tears trailing down his face he took one hard deep breath to steady his heart. Leaning over him you pressed a cool metal canteen to his lips lifting his head so he could take a sip of fresh cold water. 

You were able to make out the letters that where velcroed to the chest of his uniform jacket and the dog tags that hung from around his neck. “James Buchanan Barnes, you’re a Sargent?, How did you get all the way out here? Where are the rest of your men?” Interrogating questions flew from your brain right out of you mouth with little reserve. “M-My names Bucky, and their … their all dead” he voiced, strained and hoarse from holding back tears. 

Just by one single glance of him you knew he needed more medical tending to then just the improvised bandage that wrapped around his arm already soaked in blood. So you lifted him up as gently as you could, swinging his uninjured arm over your shoulder and wrapping your hand around his waist. 

Bucky saw no reason to go unwillingly. Your voice was soft and so was your touch. You were his heroin an angel that appeared to him in what he thought was his last moments. 

It took one whole staining, grueling hour to get him back to your old basecamp where the rest of your medical supplies were. In that time Bucky passed out from exhaustion but most likely from blood loss. You placed him down slowly laying him on your cot as you stripped him from his boots and large muddy pants to examine his body. Another large gash sat on his thigh a few inches above his knee. The rest of his body was riddled with smaller less severe cuts.

Cleaning him up and stitching his injures depleted most of your medical resources, so you made a mental note that from here on out you had to be extra cautious not to hurt yourself in anyway. After Bucky was patched up nicely he started to come to. 

You sat beside him while he stirred and shifted his body finally waking after three hours. “Bucky, can you hear me?” You whispered softly to not startle the man. He gave a small nod groaning in pain while his eyes stood shut. “I’m going out to get you something for your pain” you reassured him placing your hand on his shoulder to show him some form of tenderness after such a harsh morning. Bucky nodded again this time opening his eyes slightly  to meet yours. 

It didn’t take long to find the plants you were looking for Lactuca virosa, a type of wild lettuce that’s known for its pain relieving properties. As you approached the base you spotted Bucky hunched against a tree trying to steady himself enough to walk. Rushing over to him you lead him towards a chair that you’d often sit on and watch the stars at night or listen to the animal scurry. 

“Hey you have to rest, you’re not supposed to be on your feet yet, you’re gonna pop the stitches on your thigh” you strained. Bucky let out a loud huff of air in annoyance and agreed. You handed him the plant that you fetched and instructed him to consume the whole thing stem and all, and he did as he was told.

Bucky submitted to every request and demand you made. He put complete trust in you with little reason behind his logic. He didn’t even know your name or why you were helping him but he felt safe. Safe was not something he felt in a long time.  

****

Three weeks had passed since you found Bucky helplessly pinned to the ground. He was strong and his wounds were healing quickly. 

In the first week you cared for him intensely, changing his bandages routinely so no infection settled in. You bathed him and even spoon fed him while he recovered.  

The second week was a lot different, although he wasn’t completely healed he was able to walk around. You taught him how to undress and dress his bandages and purify the water brought back to camp. He even learned how to work the radio and call out for rescue each morning. 

By the third week Bucky was almost healed and hunting right by your side. It wasn’t something he picked up quickly. He had to be patient and quiet  two traits that didn’t come naturally.

Although you knew he was a perfectly capable man you felt the need to protect him. You cared for him more than you probably should. Bucky was kind and light hearted. Very different from the men you were stationed with. He never made advances towards you even though he wanted to, his eyes never lingered on places they shouldn’t, and his touch never felt threatening or unwanted. 

Bucky knew he was in love with by the first week he meet you. No one’s ever cared or took care of him like you did. He learned so much from you and your beauty was unparalleled.

You enjoyed his company also, being alone wasn’t something you wanted anymore. It felt as if you and Bucky where the only people on Earth and in a way it was true.

Bucky enjoyed the peacefulness of everything, there were no loud gunshots or explosions that left his ears ringing for days. There was a calm there, he was actually able to rest, actually able to breath. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder every few seconds or sleep with one eye open. It was a paradise and you made it even more so.

Even though Bucky tried the radio everyday he didn’t really want to actually be rescued, it meant he’d have to go back to the chaos and destruction of war. 

****

It’s been weeks that you had your eyes on one particularly sweet juicy fruit that hung from a large stretched tree. You waiting patiently for it to ripen and today it’s color seemed perfect for picking. As you ascended up the hard tricky truck the branch that bared your weight snapped and sent you plummeting to the ground.

A loud thud rang out through the air followed by high streaks of pain. You managed to lift yourself slowly from the floor. Your body was weak and sore all over. You weren’t sure if there were any further damage except for small bruises and cuts so you dusted yourself of and slowly walk back to camp feeling defeated.

When you arrived Bucky’s faces contorted into pure horror leaving you confused by his response. He quickly sat up from where was sitting to rush by your side.

“You’re bleeding, what happen to you?” Bucky asked concern laced in his words. Just then you felt the warm wet flush of blood drip down your chest. There was a  relatively long rip present on your shirt exposing the torn skin just under your collarbone. Blood stained the area quickly and flashes of white hot pain coursed through your muscles.  

Bucky lead you to his set assuring you were safe if you ended up passing out. Without a second thought he ripped the shirt from your body to remove the dirty stained fabric from your skin. 

You wound was a lot worse then Bucky first thought, large thin splinters from the tree stuck out from your skin and blood dripped constantly.  

He ran to retrieve a cloth and sat beside you placing it on the wound and pressing firmly. You screamed in pain yanking his hand away.

“Bucky you have to get the splinters out and then stitch me up” you said in a low breathy voice

“There’s so much blood ..i..dont know.. I don’t think I could do that” Bucky stammered

“Look at me” you held him wrist while he looked into your eyes 

“You can do this I believe in you, just do as I say. Okay” you instructed and Bucky agreed nodding his head rapidly.

**** NSFW ****

You started to talk him through the process very slowly trying to keep him calm and steady. one of his hands carefully picked out the wood while the other pressed on your shoulder holding you in place. Ever prick sent an immense amount of pain through you so you clutched Bucky’s thigh baring down on him.  

When the last stitch was in place Bucky cleaned you up and finally let out a deep breath in relief. 

“You did it” you smile through your teeth proud of him. You gave his thigh a tight squeeze as you spoke up again. 

“I knew you could do it” Bucky’s heart skipped a beat when he felt your hand so close to his groin. He was so caught up in the moment he hadn’t noticed the placement of your hand. His sight quickly darted to your fingers and back up to your eyes .  

Your faces were close enough that if he leaned in just a few more inches he could have a taste of your soft sweet lips. Your breath on his face further amplified the heat that was emanating from his body. His stare bounced from your lips to your eyes and back to your lips. 

Faithfully you leaned in towards him pressing your lips to his. Your hand moving up his body till it grabbed at his hair pulling him in closer. You parted your lips allowing Bucky’s tongue to enter your mouth. His tongue swirled and lapped around expertly, licking your bottom lip and taking it in between his teeth expelling small breathy moan from you. 

He growled back in response. Your moan sending blood rushing down towards his length. Bucky’s hand scanned your body roaming over every inch of your heated flesh till they fell to your hips. He tugged at you pulling you onto his lap so you were straddling him, not once removing his lips from yours. 

Both your hands found its way into his hair tugging slightly. Bucky pulled back finally breaking the kiss to trailing his plump wet lips across your jaw and down to your neck. He peppered small delicate kisses on your skin, licking a strip from your collarbone up to ear. 

He felt the goosebumps that rose on your arms and flushed your body. With a soft devilish chuckle he nibbled on your neck drawing another loud moan from your lips. You moved your hips against his feeling a need starting to grow in your stomach. 

The hardness of him through the thin fabric of his shorts created a wetness that was pool in your underwear. 

He guided your hips, moving you back and forth on his lap pressing you harder into him till his breath hitched in his throat. 

“Babe your gonna have to ride me right now before I blow without getting to feel that tight pussy squeezing this hard cock” he grunted, breath falling onto your neck. You purred back,  slowly lifting yourself off of his lap to dispose of the rest of his and your clothes and climbing back into his thighs. 

He pressed his lips on yours again devouring you at a despite pace, Your wet core hoovering dangerously above his stiff member. Holding your waist Bucky slowly pushing you down onto him. His manhood prodding at your soaked entrance inching you down little by little. When his whole length disappeared inside of you, you both threw your heads back exhaling in ecstasy.

You held still for a moment as your walls adjusted to his size, squeezing tightly around him. He bucked his hips up signaling you to start moving. You grinded down on him extremely slow. The teasing speed driving Bucky mad. He moaned at the intimacy of this moment closing his eyes focusing on the feeling of him pumping into your quivering wetness. 

You had enough of this slow torture so you decided to sped up your pace bouncing hungrily on him. Loud long moans left your lips echoing in the wide open space around you. Bucky placed his hands on your back pulling you to his chest while he slammed into you. He dropped his forehead onto your shoulder still railing you furiously. 

Your orgasm hit you without warning leaving you breathlessly screaming his name, Buckys wasn’t far behind and as your high rippled through your body tightening your walls Bucky spilled into you. His heat coating your walls and dripping down onto thigh. 

Out of breath and spent he lifted his head and kissed you again, this time it was soft and passionate. You could feel his love pouring out of his chest and making its way to yours. 

**** SFW ****

The sharp sound of static chirps through your ears snapping you back to reality. You whipped your head back towards the noise trying to make out the sound. There was another loud static noise seconds later. 

You jumped to your feet walking towards the sound.  It was coming from the radio, faded voice broke through the static. 

“ This is General Mason, we reserved your distress signal, are you still in need of assistance?” The man on the other side repeated himself over and over again. 

You turned to Bucky who was pulling up his pants, your face painted with disbelief. You pressed the mic to your lips but before you could respond Bucky reached out for the non turning the radio completely off.

You looked up at him a bit shocked till a huge water eyed smile spread across your face. Bucky pulled you into him wrapping his large arms around you as you sunk into his chest.

“I don’t want to leave I never want to leave this place” Bucky whispered as he swayed with you slowly. 

“ i don’t either” you replied tears streaming from your eyes. 

****

@honeyvbarnes @sebbbystaaan @mushyjellybeans @babiiface95 @chloerinebarnes @perpetually-tuned-out @criminal-cookies @this-kitten-is-smitten @sherrybaby14 @theladyoffangorn mutuals if you dont want to be tagged shot me a message

[clowniconography]

The first time I met her, she had a bee in the palm of her hand.

I’ll admit, I’ve never liked bugs. It’s not something I’m too ashamed of; most people don’t like bugs in some form or another, and my fear is certainly a lot more understated than some peoples’. I just need you to understand that I don’t like bugs, and never have, in order to put my actions into a little perspective.

That said, I think most people in my situation would’ve turned tail and ran at the sight of this woman, standing on the roof of an apartment building in early fall, surrounded on all sides by hives full of living, stinging, buzzing bees. 

But me? I couldn’t look away. 

She seemed to be wreathed in light, drawing it to herself like a halo--The sunset was just beginning and the sky behind her was bathed in pale yellow. It all matched her sundress, which was long and a different shade of yellow (and honestly a bit light considering the chilly time of year). 

Okay, I’ll admit it--it was a bit of an understatement to say that there was only one bee, and that it was only in the palm of her hand. The truth is she was covered in them; not like some circus performer attempting to give himself a “beard of bees” to please a crowd, no, but everywhere I looked a bee seemed to have found its way there, crawling on her exposed skin or attempting to feed at the sunflower print on her dress. 

I was awestruck and silent at first, and I thought I had been quiet enough for her not to notice me, until she spoke. The incessant buzzing that surrounded us seemed to dim slightly in order for me to hear her.

“Please don’t smoke up here.” she said. 

I jumped and looked down at the pack of cigarettes in my hand like I hadn’t even realized they were there until she’d said something. I hastily stuffed them into the breast pocket of my jacket and took a few steps towards her.

“Sorry, I--I hadn’t realized there was someone up here.”

She nodded sagely, still not looking directly at me. “Yes. Not many know. Meyers lets me keep them up here as long as I promise to keep them…” she seemed to be searching for the right choice of words, “...‘under control’.” she said eventually, with ironic air quotes.

The roof we were standing on belonged to Meyers, as did the entire building below it. It was no mystery to me how this ethereal young woman had been able to charm that crotchety tomato-like man into letting her keep--I counted quickly--eight makeshift beehives on the roof of his building. I probably would’ve done the same in his situation.

“I just moved in.” I said, and then pinched myself for saying something so mundane--but I needed to do something to keep the conversation going. I sure as hell wasn’t about to just walk back to my apartment like I hadn’t seen anything.

She smiled, finally meeting my eyes. “I can see that,” she said. “Most people who live here know not to come up to the roof. I tell them not to smoke up here but my little friends seem to do most of the convincing themselves, and I never have to worry about it again after the first warning.”

I laughed “Yeah, I can imagine.” I took another step forward. I didn’t notice a bee landing on my jacket sleeve, and in return it did not sting me. 

“Are you not scared?” she said, sounding like she didn’t care if I answered, or left, or died right there on the spot.

“I’ll admit, I’ve never seen this many in one place, and usually I’d be pretty freaked out but...no, I’m not scared.” I surprised myself with my fearlessness, and I saw her eyebrows raise in a similar response.

“Well, it helps that you seem to have them pretty under control” I said.

She smiled, saying nothing. 

---

I kept visiting her for the next few weeks. I was worried I might annoy her with my visits, but she revealed nothing about how she felt and I kept finding myself unable to resist climbing those stairs most nights.

I found out her name was Valerie, but it felt strange to use it. It was like tethering a name to a force of nature; trying to pin down something that wanted to fly, to be free. 

With every visit I stood closer and closer to her, eventually claiming a place in one of the long-disused lawn chairs nearby. I would sit and talk to her for an hour or two while she tended to her “little friends”, and while she was as opaque as ever, the more I got to know her, the more confident I was that she enjoyed the company. She didn’t strike me as someone with many close friends. 

Never did I notice that each of her bees seemed to be a different type. I let them land on me, now, without worry; not as much as she did, certainly, but the more it happened the less afraid I became. Some of them were fat, fuzzy, almost cute bumblebees, and others were the pointed sleek bodies of yellow jackets, with every type in between also making appearances. 

I was used to seeing all different types of bees in what little nature I’d been exposed to in my life, so it never occured to me that these different species were not usually meant to coexist. 

I brought her food a couple times--coffee, donuts, and once Chinese takeout. The coffee and takeout sat untouched, but she devoured the donuts ravenously and my heart swelled at the thought that my offering was appreciated.

Looking back, I’m a bit ashamed at how smitten I was, how desperate my various attempts to win her favor had been. At the time, though, I felt nothing but totally in love and desperate for her to like me, to acknowledge me past our meetings on the roof. 

Once I bought her a mug shaped like a bee that I had seen at a kitsch shop on my way home from work. It was round and painted with black and yellow stripes and a dopey little smiley face, and the handle was shaped like a pair of wings. 

She squealed when I revealed it to her, happier than I’d ever seen her, and I in that moment I think I was happier than I’d ever been. 

I hadn’t even thought about smoking a cigarette for weeks. 

---

One day, a few weeks after our first meeting, I was sitting there on the roof as I always did. She was standing at the hive nearest to me, with only a few feet of air and about one thousand bees between us. It was then, watching her as I always did, that I saw it--a patch of yellow on the inside of her wrist. 

Without thinking I reached out and grabbed her. This was the first time we’d ever touched, and I was surprised by the texture of her skin. I want to say it was clammy, but that wasn’t it--it was some other, similar feeling, almost like wax. 

She yelped as I yanked her towards me--I realize now how insensitive I was being, but I’m a medical resident and the patch of skin looked terribly infected. I was terrified, honestly, with the idea that she might be getting sick.

I only got to glance at it before she yanked her arm away. The bit of skin on her wrist was textured with what looked like a bunch of little holes, mixed with a scratchy, papery texture and patches of raised bumps. 

After taking her wrist out of my hands she stared down at me, the anger in her eyes at that moment being the strongest emotion I’d ever seen her exhibit.

“Valerie, I..I think there might be something wro--”

“Out!” she screeched, gnashing her teeth at me. I was suddenly, terrifyingly aware of how many of her “little friends” were currently exploring my skin. 

“But Valerie--”

“I said get OUT!”

I know it sounds stupid, but I could’ve sworn that the buzzing grew with her voice, raising from simply a background noise to a loud cocaphony which engulfed my thoughts and made my whole head vibrate. 

As she yelled at me again and again to get out, to get away, the buzzing seemed to drown out her voice--but at the same time, the buzzing was her voice.

I ran, not stopping until I reached my apartment, my breath heaving.

In my bedroom I stripped off every piece of clothing I wore and inspected every inch of my skin to see if a single one had followed me inside. I was irrational with fear, and when I threw away the clothes I’d been wearing I had to resist the urge to burn them, too. 

---

Despite the fear I felt that day, it didn’t take very long for the need to return to the roof to come back. I was so used to the routine that I had to force myself to focus on other things; watching TV and doing work and playing video games when it would’ve been so easy to let my legs carry me up those steps. 

I wondered how long I should wait before apologizing. Should I do it at all? Would she just rather I not speak to her? The thought that I might never see her again scared me. 

I kicked myself when I remembered that I had no clue which apartment she lived in. I realized how little I knew about her besides her name; what had we talked about those days on the roof together? Did she know where my apartment was, or even my name? My mind blanked.

After two weeks the waiting became too much--I was determined to apologize to her. I convinced myself that I didn’t care if she told me that she never wanted to see me again; that all I needed was closure.

I found my way up to the roof the way I had dozens of times before. I realized I was straining my hearing, listening for that telltale buzzing that I still sometimes heard in my dreams. 

It wasn’t until the final flight that I heard it, much quieter than it had been the last time I’d been there.

I opened the door to the rooftop and the chill hit me like a wall. It was no longer just the start of fall; the season was on in full force with winter creeping around the corner. Despite this, the buzzing was as strong as I was used to and the bees were as active as ever, flying to and fro in their little focused clouds.

Valerie was nowhere to be seen. This was the first time I’d come to the roof without her there, and the chill felt stronger without the warmth of her presence. 

I wove through the hives as if in a dream, no longer really concerned with wondering where Valerie was. I let the constant buzzing fill my mind, let the vibration of it worm its way deep into my very marrow. I let the bees land wherever they wanted; my hands, my shoulders. Any final bit of fear I harbored against them was gone. 

It worried me that Valerie wasn’t there to take care of them, and I made the resolute decision to keep checking each day to see if she’d come back. I’d learned a lot about beekeeping from observing her, and I’d tend to them intermittently in case she didn’t come back at all. 

After walking through the rows, inspecting each of the hives for any possible damage, I made my way back to the door. I was about to leave, to return to my apartment, when I felt a sudden urge. 

I turned around and counted out the hives. There were nine of them; just as there always had been.

I smiled to myself and went back inside.   

[fics-not-tragedies]

A lesson to teach me: Part Two

one - two - three - four - five

After 84 years I finally got to writing this one! Also @mikaneonox and @fanficsrusz you two deserve a special dedication for being super excited when I told ya about how I’m working on it 💕

SUMMARY: Professor Keanu surprises you in the cafe you’re working at and after ending your shift just to have a quite romantic coffee ‘date’ with him, you find yourselves in the supply room of your coffee shop dusty with cocoa powder. Words: 3116; Warnings: smut;

Readers tag list:

@spookier-than-u; @sparrowsparrow; @oreofenyloetyloamina; @derangedcupcake; @geostarr; @catsmieow; @wickedlangdon; @bodhi-black; @bugalouie; @onebatch--twobatch; @fandom-lover-4; @drunkonyellow; @semtempoirmaoo; @spadesandaces2342; @harrisongslimited; @a--1--1--3; @hhighkey; @lunilate; @i-cant-remember-my-old-login; @sgt-morgan; @coloursunlimited; @childrenofthegun; @weminiaturestrawberry; @silverlambcaptain; @scarletmoon83; @howtoruin-someones-perfect-day; @krazycags01; @charlottebonnie; @moonlit-raven-haven; @girl-at-the-verge; 

You tried to dust off your flowery apron as you came back from the utility room into the front of the coffee shop, you sighed when you noticed the long line that had formed at the counter which your co-worker was desperately trying to manage it all by herself.

Your hands were still dusty from the cocoa powder from the bag that you tried to tame from falling from the shelf in the back area and after a quick wash of your hands you stepped to the other end of the counter, telling some customers to walk over to you, the queue instantly unloading as half of the people ran over to your register.

There was a familiar figure at the end of your line, looking down at the book he held in his hands, being absolutely consumed by it, only moving his eyes to look up briefly, so he could be sure he wasn’t bumping into someone in front of him and when you saw his face, noticing how his chocolate eyes lit up when he noticed you, the book being closed by his large hands immediately, his attention focused only on you, your heart skipped a beat.

Professor Reeves.

The smile that grew on his face when your eyes met made your heart flutter and all you wanted now was to ditch your shift, pull him in the back room and feel the taste of his lips while the cocoa dust falls onto your hair.

He mouthed ‘my little girl’ and shoot you one of the cocky grins that were driving you insane every time you saw it, making your legs a little weaker.

“Excuse me?”

You looked up at the woman whose coffee you were making staring at you, “Y-yes…? What’s wrong ma’am?” you asked quickly, trying to figure out what possibly could be wrong with her drink.

“The lid? It was a take-away coffee miss” she eyed you carefully, probably thinking that you were high on something.

“Oh, yes, you’re right” you said placing the black lid onto the paper cup filled with her coffee, “I’m sorry. Thank you, have a nice day!” blurting out you smiled at her, but she just grimaced her face and walked out of the door.

Sighing loudly you called for the next customer only to see that for your surprise it was Keanu’s turn. He slowly walked over to your part of the counter, leaning onto it like he was desperate to get closer to you.

“I was thinking on asking you for a date just to go to this cafe, but to my surprise: you’re working here” his large hand grasps your that seems tiny compared to the size of his and he lifts your palm, but only slightly, before he bows down to plant a soft kiss to your skin, “I never thought that cocoa could taste so sexy” he mumbles into your hand before the tip of his tongue swirls across it, leaving a little wet patch.

You’re happy that the cafe got empty now, so there’s no one to see how red your face got and how you were struggling to breath, seeing how his dark eyes were glued to you, giving you the same lustful stare he kept on your face while you were sucking him off in his office.

“I work here since the beginning of this semester and yet we haven’t met here earlier” you raised your eyebrow at him making him giggle a little.

“It’s because I come here mostly when you have your lectures little girl” the nickname was driving you insane and you just moaned internally, your body aching for him.

“What’s your order then?” it was a really hard time for you to remain calm, all you had in your mind was the sound of his little moans while you were sliding his dick down your throat.

“I saw you behind the counter and absolutely forgot what I wanted to order… would you like to surprise me little girl? You’ve already done that before” Keanu winks at you, leaning with his elbow onto the counter.

“Keanu!” a female voice chirps as the bell hung over the entry doors indicates with its jingling sound that someone just walked inside.

“Janet” he tried to mimic her joy, but failed at is miserably.

Just not fucking Janet this time too... you thought to yourself before speaking to him, “I’ll prepare your order then” he gave you a small smile like he desperately wanted to be saved from the encounter with her.

“You should be finishing love” your co-worker said to you gripping your shoulder a little.

“Just one last order and I’m leaving” you were trying to focus on preparing his coffee and not listening to their conversation, but their words were flying straight into your ears without you even knowing.

“You come here even on your free days?” Janet asks him and your stomach does a somersault, it’s too obvious that he just wants to bang him.

“Yes, they have the best coffee in the whole city here” even though you didn’t see his face you could hear the smirk that formed on his lips in his voice, the ‘best coffee’ probably meant the fact that you were working here.

“Oh, I feel like we should came here like, together, one day” she chirped again and you felt the urge to strangle her to death. You were glad that your shift was over and you didn’t had to serve her.

You placed the steaming mug in front of him with a loud thud, but still winking a little, hoping she hasn’t noticed it.

He took a big gulp of his coffee, making a surprised face, before speaking to you “It’s so good, what’s that?” he asks you and you untie your apron, slowly walking to the social are of the coffee shop.

“It’s double caramel americano” you say before disappearing behind the doors that says ‘private’.

When you come back he’s luckily alone, at least, finishing the drink you prepared him.

You two move to have a sit in the corner of the place, at a table that’s rarely used, so it feels like it’s your private one, where no one can bother you.

“I graded your finals last night” Keanu spoke softly, his hand moving to gently grasp yours.

“How I did on it?” you’re sipping your own coffee, that already got cold, but you need it nonetheless.

“100 on 100, which means A+” he winks at you, before leaning over the table, his mouth close to your ear, “I still think your cock-sucking skills deserve an A+ too” his mumble makes you blush, your face turning raw red and you hide it in your hands for a moment.

“What’s behind that doors there?” he asks, pointing with his fingers towards the silver doors that are on the wall behind your back.

“It’s our storage room” you say and his eyebrow raises, then he stand up from his chair and walks over to that doors.

When he disappeared inside the back room you waited few more seconds before following his steps, so the whole situation wouldn’t be too suspicious.

You heard his hitched breath, your eyes not quite used to the darkness around you yet and you gently close the doors behind you, turning the lock, so no one would bother you.

“Why haven’t you switched the light on?” you ask him, flicking the switch by yourself, knowing its placement on the wall by your heart. The light bulb just hisses at you, not lighting up.

“Because it doesn’t work” suddenly, you feel his hand on your shoulder, tensing for a moment, before his whole body is pressed firmly to yours, pushing you onto the nearest rack.

Keanu breath out shakily, his hands gripping your waist tightly and this time, you made the first move. You leaned in, your lips just gently brushing his for a moment, you can feel how his hand moves to the back of your neck, fingertips grazing over your side, grabbing onto it and drawing you in properly, his lips pressed closely to yours, your eyes fluttering shut even though you were wrapped in the darkness already.

It seemed like your heart decided to skip a beat every time you two got that close to each other and you couldn’t help yourself kissing him back instantly, moving your lips with his in sync, his arms wrapping tightly around you as he push you forward onto the shelf, a rattling sound snapping you out of the kissing haze, indicating that something fell onto the floor making a dull thudding noise, but you were too busy with him to even care about the falling item.

He sighed into the kiss, the sound muffled by your mouth, his fingers rubbing into the back of your neck. His touches felt even more electric than before, sending shivers down your spine and you pressed yourself closer to him, gasping into the kiss when you felt his hard cock pressed into your thigh, strained under the fabric of his jeans.

His mouth slid from yours to kiss your jawline, then moved further down onto your neck, where he mumbled few incoherent words into your skin, making you press your hands to his ass, giving it a little cheeky squeeze, then your fingers moved to his head, running through his hair, twisting the strands around your fingers.

You tugged on his hair lightly, tilting his head backwards so you could press your lips to his once again, kissing him even more needily and arching your body into his, feeling his hand moving down your side, grabbing at your arse. Keanu’s lips were soft and you could taste the coffee on his tongue, mixing with a hint of smoke; you were now literally aching for more, aching for him, for his body, so you let your hand wander down his chest, to his belly, before cupping the hard bulge in his jeans, palming him through its fabric.

He groaned, breaking the kiss and rolling his hips into the touch of your hand, resting his forehead against yours, his hot breath tickling your lips and you pressed your legs together, moaning quietly, “Tell me little girl… are you wet already?” he drawled, the dulcet done of his voice mixed with the darkness around you was only fueling your lust for him.

Keanu grabbed your wrist, pinned it above your head and you sighed when he pressed his knee between your legs pushing them apart, his hand moving under your skirt, pulling it upwards, letting it pool around your waist, as he rubbed your folds through the flimsy fabric of your underwear.

“K-Keanu…” you breath out his name, hearing the guttural groan that falls from his lips and your head fallback against the shelf, your eyes getting shut as you buck your hips forward into his touch, “P-Please, I need you…” you whimpered, “touch me…”

“I wanted to do this to you since the first time I saw you on my lecture…” he coaxed, pressing his lips onto yours again, the kiss surprisingly soft, too soft for your liking, while his fingers were slowly circling your entrance, his thumb barely grazing your clit.

You moaned into his mouth, feeling how your heart beats faster, “Mmmm, yes…” you whimpered when his skilled fingers moved your panties aside and slowly slid inside you.

“Mmm, you’re so wet, little girl…” he pushed two fingers deep inside you, your walls clenching around them as they filled you up nicely and your hips bucked forward again in attempt to get him closer, then he made a curling motion, making you jolt and cry out with pleasure, holding on to his shoulder with your legs trembling.

“F-Fuck, r-right there please!” you whimpered.

“Mmmm, I like to hear you” he breathed into your ear, curling his fingers inside you again and holding them in place, pressing just into the right spot that made your head pirouette, “Right there, hmm? That’s the right spot?”

You nodded eagerly, like he was about to see it, then wrapped your hand around his wrist, “Y-yes, please… d-do it again” you cried, your hips shaking, impatient in waiting for his another move.

When he picked up the pace of his fingers, brushing continuously into the right spot, fingering you faster, his thumb brushing against your clit. You moaned loudly, whimpering when he curled his fingers deep inside you once again, his thumb pressing down on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure which sent you over the edge, your legs shaking, loud gasps falling from your open mouth, as the pleasure consumed you.

You gripped tightly onto his shoulder to hold yourself still, feeling how your walls clenched around his fingers.

“Mmmm, so wet … came all over my fingers…” he whispered, pressing little kisses to your jaw, then down your neck before drawing his fingers out of you, making you whimper.

Your arm was still pinned above your head with his one hand and you felt some shuffling between your bodies that probably meant he moved the other one to undo his belt, then his zipper followed shortly afterwards.

Keanu’s hand gripped yours, taking it from his arm, then moving it to his cock, making you wrap your fingers around him, feeling how hard he already was.

“You’re so fucking big...” your breath was still uneven as you panted, giving him few tugs, making him jolt his hips towards you, few little gasps leaving his mouth.

“F-Fuck, you want it, don’t you?” he asked, pushing his hand between your legs again, teasingly circling your clit.

“I-I NEED you inside me… Keanu just p-please fuck me…” you whimpered, not even caring about the filthy words that were leaving your mouth. You wanted him so badly you could actually taste it, “Keanu p-please…”

You guided his between your legs, lifting one to rest on the higher shelf, rubbing his tip against your entrance “Say me name again little girl…” he groaned.

Taking a deep breath before speaking you almost moaned out his name “Keanu…” you breath out, hearing his racing heartbeat in the dark room, “Just… please…”

Without a warning he closes the space between your bodies once again, letting his cock sink inside you, stretching your walls, making you drop your head down onto his shoulder, biting down on the sensitive skin in the crook of his neck, crying out desperately and clinging to him closer, your both hands tugging on his hair.

He moaned loudly, holding himself steady for a moment, shifting closer to you, placing one hand under your thigh, lifting your leg even higher, making you groan loudly when he sank deeper inside you and he pressed you further onto the shelf, his thick cock throbbing inside you, as he filled you up.

His lips were so close to your ear than you could hear all of the softest moans and groans that were escaping from his lips.

“Oh f-fuck…” you cried when you felt how he slowly drew back right before sinking inside you again, the pace torturous but steady. Another orgasm was slowly building up inside you, his soft groans were slowly turned into louder ones, turning you on even mores as you clung onto him tightly, your whole body becoming weak and you knew you would’ve fallen if you weren’t wrapped in the strong grip of his arms.

“Say me name, little girl, say my name again” he whispered, nibbling softly on your earlobe.

You moaned loudly, your nails scratching lightly at the back of his neck, “Keanu, f-fuck, your cock feels amazing” you whimpered, your head dropping backwards, meeting with the cold steel of the shelf. You felt yourself tighten around him, so close again, his throbbing length buried deep inside him.

“You’re so fucking tight” he groaned, mumbling against your neck, moaning louder when he felt you come undone without a warning, just a cry of pleasure leaving your lips, your fingers pulling at his hair again, as your muscles clenched around his cock, making you writhe in his arms and you held tighter onto him when he fucked you through your orgasm.

“I’m so close… just one more, little girl, cum with me again...”

“Keanu, just... f-f-fuckfuckfuck…” you cried out, being too over-sensitive now and everything became too much for you when you tightened around him weakly again as your third orgasm approached.

“You feel fucking amazing…” he moaned, biting down on your neck, making sure he’ll have a mark for later, his hips bucked up into yours and he buried himself deep inside you, emptying his throbbing cock inside you, groaning your name with his lips so close to your ear. His hot release spilling inside you triggered your own orgasm and you cried out his name again, falling limp in his arms, your body shaking with pleasure as your orgasm ripped through you and you could barely even cling onto him anymore.

He held himself inside you, panting against your neck, your breathing still heavy and you ran your fingers gently through his hair, “Fucking wow…”

Keanu laughed softly, nudging your nose gently with his before pecking your lips, “Have you ever fucked someone here before?”

“No, you are the first and only one” you mumbled.

“I like that” you could hear the smirk in his voice, his hips bucking up into yours again, his cock nudging deep inside you and you cried out quietly before whimpering as he pulled out of you, carefully setting you leg down onto the ground, “but we should repeat that in more usual conditions.”

You fixed your underwear along with your skirt, the sound of him zipping back his pants echoed in the room and you walked over to the doors, unlocking it, “Are you ready?” and his ‘mhm’ cut through the silence.

When you walked back into the cafe noticing that there’s no-one around, even your co-worker was somewhere else now, you just pulled him after you with your hand gripping the hem of his sleeve.

“You look… dusty” Keanu said and you turned around to look at him. His hair and shoulders were covered in cocoa powder, apparently so were yours. He made double check that there was nobody in sight, before he walked closer to you and licked your cheek, “So fucking tasty” his hand gave your arse a squeeze, “Let’s go to my place, clean ourselves up and later I’ll give you a nice massage. I bet you’re all tense after work.”

“Just like you’re reading my mind” you winked at him and you two walked out of the coffee shop.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Off Day: Eleven

Bucky leaned on the bathroom door watching you apply makeup to your face, pulling seemingly endless pallets, brushes, and bottles from your bag. “Why’s your foundation not match your face?” he asked.

“Because I’m not gonna go out and kill the Batman later.”

“Huh?”

“If your makeup stops at your neck, you look like a party clown.”

Bucky smiles a little and watched you work for a second and nodded, “You never used to wear makeup,” he mused.

“I never used to have money,” you say shrugging, pouting at him in the mirror. Bucky nods, “How does that work?”

“Does what work?” you ask, starting to blend things in properly.

“Do you get a check from the store?”

You shrug and smile a little, “Theoretically. But. Jack and Judy are paying for the groceries in the house. Kaity won’t let me pay rent. So, like... I just take enough to buy gas and cat food. Everything else I take out of my savings.”

Bucky shook his head, “Baby,” he scolded.

“What?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow.

“When’s the last time you bought yourself something fun?”

“I buy art supplies and makeup all the time. Online shopping is nice. I can buy pretty things in my underwear.”

Bucky tutted and made a mental note to buy you a little something. Still. He couldn’t be upset. You had his hoodie on and your panties, nothing else. It was a nice view. It was why he’d come to lean on the doorframe. He stayed because he was a little fascinated. Like watching you draw on his arm with sharpies, it was a miracle of artistic skill watching you play with contrasts and colors. If he hadn’t watched you do it, he wouldn’t believe it. You look like an almost totally different person.

When you finished your makeup, he smirked, “How mad would you be if I dragged you back to bed and ruined all that?” he asked.

“Pretty mad. I’d be keeping Kaity waiting,” you answer, smiling just a little as you put things back in your bag.

Bucky winces internally, feeling guilty. For just a minute, he’d forgotten. You were his and didn’t have responsibilities. It wasn’t Christmas and Kaity wasn’t dying. You weren’t putting makeup on like you were getting ready for battle. Armor to protect you from the reality that nothing was ever going to feel right again. 

“Are you ready to go home?” he asked.

“No,” you answer, “But. I need to. I just... I don’t know if I can handle this.”

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked.

You shake your head, “No. I just... I just need to suck it up. It’s not. There’s not anything I can do.”

He nods and wraps his arms around you slowly, “I’ll come by tonight,” he murmurs, “Put something warm in your belly and put you to sleep.” He kisses your neck and shoves his hand in your hoodie pocket.

“Okay,” you murmur, focusing on putting things away to give you time to breathe. 

“Maybe make you come two or three times,” he teased, kissing the spot on your neck that he learned made you shiver, chuckling when you did. “That never gets old,” he rumbled tightening his arms around you.

“Bucky-” you protest weakly

He grins at you in the mirror, “What is it, doll?” he teased, taking his hands out of your pocket to rest them on your hips.

You whimper and he stops moving, not letting you go but not pressing any further. “Baby girl,” he said gently, “Talk to me. What do you need?”

“I need to go home. I’m sorry I-” you take a breath and let it out slowly, “They’re waiting and if it’s another bad day, they’re gonna need me.” You can’t meet his eyes expecting him to be mad and Bucky feels like an asshole. “Let me put on some decent clothes and I’ll take ya home,” he said softly, “And then tonight I’ll come keep ya company... can’t promise to behave. But I’ll be there.”

You half turn to look up at him, all big sweet eyes and a soft smile and he kisses the tip of your nose. “Promise?” you ask.

“Promise,” he answers softly, cuddling you for a second before going to get some jeans and a clean hoodie to replace the one you’d stolen.

He’d never had a girl that asked so little of him. All you wanted was his time. Some attention. A little TLC from time to time. And he felt, strange. It felt like he wasn’t doing enough by not buying you gifts and making extravagant (for him) gestures. Char had been like a magpie. She liked her shiny shit. She liked to be fawned over. Treated like a princess. He desperately wanted to treat you that way. You deserved it. But as far as he could tell, you didn’t wear much jewelry and you worked in a whole store full of books if you wanted books. He didn’t know dick about art supplies of jewelry. And he felt silly buying cat toys. What did you get somebody who’d learned to get by on as little as possible? For Christmas, well. He didn’t know if you’d like it but. It was the only thing her could think of. 

He pulled it out of the closet and set it on the bed, thankful the girls had done the wrapping for him. It looked pretty. All green paper and silver ribbon. Glitter. “Fucking glitter” he groused, brushing it off his sleeve. The inside of his closet looked like a titty bar exploded. 

You pause in the doorway, pulling leggings on, “What’s that?” you ask, cocking your head. “Santa must have figured out where you were,” he said grinning.

“Bucky,” you protest, “I told you not to.”

“And I didn’t listen,” he said simply. “Come on, open it,” he encouraged, “I looked everywhere for it.”

You look up at him and smile, kissing his jaw before sitting next to the box, starting to open it carefully.

“C’mon, we’re not gonna save the paper!” he teased.

“I’m trying not to get glitter on your bed!”

“Doll, there’s been stripper dust on my sheet before. It’s fine.”

You snort and tear the paper off, opening the box carefully, “Bucky,” you gasp softly, “This is too much!”

“No it’s not,” he said grinning as you carefully inspected the new tattoo kit. “I figured if you wanted you could start doing them again. I got bored the other day and looked through the Instagram you post your art on... It was a few years ago and you were learning sure, but you did pretty good tattoos.”

“I dunno, Bucky,” you say hesitating, “It’s really nice but-”

“No buts,” he said, kissing you softly, “I just wanted you to have it if you wanted it.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, blushing as you kiss his cheek.

“Anything for you, doll,” he murmurs, “Honestly I didn’t know what to get for you at all but, then you kept doing a bunch of pretty artwork on my arms and so I thought I’d do this.”

“Even though I told you not to,” you pout.

“Sorry doll,” he chuckled, “I took enough orders in the army. Unless you’re naked I’m probably not gonna let you boss me around.”

“I don’t wanna boss you around,” you protest, “I just knew I wouldn’t have time to go get you what I wanted to get you.”

“Whatever that was, darlin’,” he drawled, kissing you slowly, “It wouldn’t have compared to last night.” Your cheeks burn and he smiles, “That was a dream come true. Literally. Thinking about you was the only thing that got me through basic. And both deployments.” He tugs you into his lap and kisses your head, “I always had a picture in my head of what it’d be like if I saw you again. I’d know exactly what to say. I’d sweep you off your feet and do the whole nine yards... Instead I didn’t even recognize you.”

“I mean, Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton look a like competition to a drag queen, so I can’t really blame you. A new nose, some new hair, and sometimes probably made it a little difficult,” you tell him.

“A new nose?” Bucky asked.

You shrug, “Got my shit busted enough times it needed done,” you tell him.

“I couldn’t even tell,” he said.

“Well, no,” you answer, standing up to get your things around, “That was the point. I just had them get as close to the original as possible.”

“Who busted up your face?” he asked following you.

“Parents a couple times. The last time, it was a guy I’d just started dating,” you don’t look at him, pretending to be preoccupied with your coat. Bucky does his best to breathe. To stay calm. He’s very, very aware of how fragile your emotional state is and how likely you are to jump to the worst conclusion if he looks angry but inside, he wants to reach through time and beat the living shit out of your dad for it. And find the guy that hurt you and snap is legs off. 

“Y/N,” he said gently, tilting your chin up, “I love you.” It’s all he can think of to say. The best way to remind you that you’re safe. 

“I love you too,” you tell him, turning your head slightly to kiss the palm that’s cupping your cheek.

_________

Bucky walks you into the house. It’s quiet but for A Christmas Story playing on the TV and Jack and Judy quietly eating breakfast. You sigh and let Bucky help you out of your coat before padding into the kitchen. This is going to be a long day. It feels like a wake. A really fucking lame wake. The kind of thing Kaity hates.

Bucky accepts hugs and Merry Christmases after you get yours and watches helplessly as you pad into the bedroom to say hello to Kaity.

Judy hands him a mug of coffee, “How was your party?” she asked. “Fine,” he said, “We had a drink and I took her home with me. Watched some movies.”

“No mistletoe?” she teases, handing him a plate to go with his mug.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” he said blushing.

“You’re a good boy, Bucky.”

“Shh,” he hisses, “Don’t say that too loud. You’ll ruin my rep as a drug king pin.”

Jack chuckles, “Son,” he said, “Anyone who believes that is an idiot. Your truck is real nice but it ain’t that nice.”

_________

“Hey, Kaitykat,” you murmur, leaning over to kiss her head, “Merry Christmas.”

She opened her eyes a little and smiled, “You smell like boy.”

“Well I mean. I slept with one and stole his hoodie so, that’d probably do it.” you tell her, smiling a little and curling up on the bed next to her to watch Muppets.

“Slut,” she teased, tugging a hoodie string, “Did he at least go down on you.”

“Kaity-” you start blushing.

“So no,” she chuckled, tucking hair behind your ear. “But did he take good care of you?” she pressed, looking anxious.

You nod, “Yeah,” you tell her, “He did.”

“You used a condom right? I mean. If he knocks you up I’m not going to have any fun making fun of you while you panic taking the test.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you giggle.

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“You know I do, Cat-cat.”

She smiled a little and laced her fingers through yours, “Do you love him,” she asked, laying her head on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” she murmured. For a long moment, Kaity’s quiet, watching Michael Cain find redemption. Trying to gather the strength to go sit out in the living room. “Promise me something?” she asked seriously.

“What?” you answer.

“When he does knock you up, name it after me.” She grins at you and you groan.

“Goddamnit Kaity.”

“What,” she pouts, “You’ll make cute babies.”

“He probably doesn’t even want kids, Kaity. And I don’t think I do either honestly.”

“Why?” she asked, letting you help her into her chair.

“Because,” you answer, kissing her head, “I don’t want to turn into my mother.”

Kaity winces but lets the matter drop. For now. Letting you wheel her out to the kitchen for something to eat. She’s thankful for the pain medicine that makes this possible. Thankful you’re here. That she can watch Bucky fuss over you fire hand. Coffee. Pastry. Anything he can coax into you. She meets her mother’s eye across the table and they nod. Thankful Bucky realizes that you’re losing weight and shouldn’t be. 

Bucky lets you walk him to the door and steals a kiss goodbye. A lingering kiss that makes you sigh, “Be a good girl?” he murmurs, kissing the tip of your nose.

“Yes, sir,” you answer, rolling your eyes. Bucky chuckles and raises an eyebrow, “Careful with that, darlin’. Especially with those pretty red lips.” You blush and he kisses your nose again, “I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you answer, kissing his jaw before he slips out the door into the cold.

Tags: @lancsnerd @stevieang @thorfanficwriter @blameitonthecauseway @etherealwaifgoddess @wellfucksorrymum

[movedvalkyriesryde]

Place Your Bets 5/?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Money is on the line and the months are counting down so who will win in the bet to when Bucky and Y/N finally get together? And will they figure out what’s exactly going on

Warnings: Swears probably lol its just a lil bit of fluff in between the angst

A/N: So I’m not working Wednesdays anymore which sucks but it means that my writing schedule has opened a bit so y’all get part five early yayyy

Word Count: 1,950

Masterlist

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You ready to lose old man?” Sam nudged Steve’s shoulder as they walked down the hall away from the lounge.

“I still have a week Sam” Steve scoffed. He was so close, he knew something was going on. Bucky had told him about the bathroom incident, told him about his drunken dream. Bucky had even told Steve, with no pushing from Steve might I add, that he was going to tell her how he felt soon. Steve was supportive of his friend, he didn’t push him to tell her, he didn’t suggest anything, he knew the rules and he was going to win fair and square, but his time was running out. 

“Yea but nothing has happened for the last two weeks” Sam leaned against the door frame to his room as Steve stopped in the hall. “Face it, you’ve lost.” Sam raised his hands before retreating into his bedroom before Steve could reply. Not yet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Y/N tossed in her bed, 11:45pm it read on her phone and she was wide awake. Sleep wasn’t going to be a happening thing tonight. There were several things keeping Y/N up tonight, one of them was the fact that in fifteen minutes it was her birthday and tomorrow night the entire team will be having a get together in the compound to celebrate. She didn’t want a party, she never asked for a party, no one had asked her for the party, but it was happening and Y/N was dreading being the centre of attention for the entire night. 

Another thing that plagued her mind this late at night was Bucky. After the events of the previous week she knew he mustn’t know what had happened in his drunken state. Everything was normal, or as normal as things normally were, actually, maybe they were less normal. Bucky seemed to walk out of the room less often when she came in, he even sat next to her at breakfast the other day. They didn’t speak, nothing more than a small good morning nod, but he sat next to her and even that was odd behaviour. She didn’t miss the raised eyebrows from Clint or Sam nudging Steve. She tried to ignore it though. 

He didn’t remember kissing her, he didn’t remember her taking him to his room, he said that himself, not to her but he still said it. Maybe he’s just had a change of heart or got a telling off that he has to be nicer. 

11:48pm. The other thing that plagued Y/N’s mind was the fact that this stupid pillow isn’t comfortable and why is the duvet all twisted up!

With a huff she got out of bed and threw a sweatshirt over her pyjamas. Maybe a walk and some TV will help, she thought. She walked through the dining room and slowly pulled open the sliding door that led into the lounge, she heard the TV going, thankful she wasn’t the only one up, until she saw Bucky sprawled out on the two-seater at the other side of the room watching the TV...and no one else. 

11:54pm.

“Hey” he turned his head as soon as she spoke and sat up straighter against the back of the seat, his legs swinging round.

“Uh hey”

“Is it okay if I join you?” She walked over to the larger couch, he nodded and she took a seat at the end, not wanting to get too close to him, scared that it might scare him off.

11:56pm.

“Its your birthday tomorrow isn’t it?” He turned towards her again as she nodded, a small yup with a popping p. “Excited?” he asked.

“Not really,” she let out a small chuckle and looked at him, he raised an eyebrow urging her to continue. “Would much prefer to just have a movie night than a big party. It’s fine though.” She shrugged her shoulders before turning back to the TV. Bucky nodded slowly and hummed before turning his attention back as well.

11:58pm. 

Bucky rose from his said and walked out of the lounge without a word. It was nice while it lasted Y/N thought to herself. The conversation they had shared had been the longest they’d shared in a while now. It was nice, talking to him, it seemed like he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. Y/N leaned back further into the cushion, baby steps.

Bucky strode into the kitchen like his life depended on it, he had an idea. Bucky prided himself in being a good friend, he was constantly making sure that everyone was happy and got what they wanted. It’s why he writes two different kinds of yogurt on the shopping list so Bruce and Steve each have what they like, it’s why he takes his time every morning getting ready for his morning run because he knows Sam likes to sleep in a little each morning. It’s also why he’s sneaking into the fridge and rearranging the cupcakes that Natasha and Bruce had spent half the day baking for the party tomorrow so it didn’t look like one was missing. 

He’d been trying for the past week, he really had, he was trying to show Y/N that he was open to being her friend. Baby steps he had told Steve, get to know her first he said, then he can see if she might ever feel the same way. Steve had almost smacked Bucky at that but grudgingly let it slide. 

He pulled out the small candle from the draw and stuck it into the frosting of the cupcake, lighting it with one of the matches he’d found in the draw. Before walking back into the lounge Bucky checked his phone, midnight, perfect timing. He walked in and sat on the couch next to Y/N she eyed him as he uncovered the candle and handed her the cupcake. 

“Happy birthday” he simply said, she stared at him with her mouth agape not saying a word. Bucky started to panic, maybe this was too much too fast, maybe this isn’t what she wanted. “I just uh- I thought maybe you could have two birthdays” he brushed the hair back from his face, he could see the small smile on her own and it made me relax, “one for you and one for them.”

“Thank you,” she was beaming now, looking at the cupcake in her hands, Bucky couldn’t help his own smile as he watched her close her eyes and blow out the candle. Everything she did he just found so adorable. “Here” Y/N broke the cupcake in half and handed Bucky a piece, he hesitated slightly but they looked so good how could he resist. He took the cupcake, giving her a thanking smile. 

“Did you make a wish?” he mumbled licking the remaining frosting from his fingers. 

“Course” she smiled sweetly at him before darting her eyes back to her lap and up the television.

“What did you wish for?” Bucky didn’t know what had come over him, he wasn’t normally a talker, he never really asked the questions. Normally he was the one having to answer them with small sentences but this wasn’t Bucky’s normal. This was a now or never moment, it was his opportunity to get to know the girl he had been pining over for so long now. His entire body was itching just to know what was going on in her head.

“If I tell you it won’t come true.” The smile stayed on her face but she never diverted from the television. Bucky leaned his head against the back of the couch and bit his lip while he watched her. 

“I won’t tell,” he lowered his voice, “and you get another wish tomorrow night anyway.”

“It’s stupid” he wanted to know so bad what she wished for, maybe he could make it happen and even if he couldn’t he just wanted to know. 

“I won’t laugh.”

“Fine,” she looked down at her hands as they pulled and scrunched up her jersey, “I wished the guy I like liked me back” her head turned to face him, Y/N’s smile was gone, there was only sadness in her eyes, desperation. “See, stupid.” She turned back to the television and turned the volume up, she didn’t like that he could get the truth out of her so easily. She should have said something like world peace, but no, she couldn’t lie to him. Bastard. 

Bucky stayed quiet, he didn’t laugh, he didn’t say anything either. His now or never was over and it was written in cold hard stone and thrown at him, never. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Do you think it’s over?” Clint looked at Sam, the two stood in the doorway of the lounge.

“Can’t know for sure but I’d say no” Sam answered, he took his phone out of his pocket and took a photo of the sight before them. Bucky and Y/N leaned against each other on the couch, a blanket each and their heads over one another. The TV was still on but now it was playing the morning news since Clint had changed the channel. 

Sam’s phone pinged causing Bucky to stir as he came out of his slumber. The two men ducked out of the room before being caught. They ran into the kitchen to join Steve.

“What do you think Cap’n?” Sam smirked over his coffee.

“You still have seven days to wait Sammy boy” he didn’t even look up from his paper. 

Bucky rubbed his eyes and groaned, he hated falling asleep on the couch. It always made his neck hurt and more often than not he woke up with something drawn on his face. This time he didn’t wake up with a knot in his neck though, he looked down at his makeshift pillow on his shoulder and saw Y/N still sound asleep against him. 

“Dammit” he mumbled as he carefully lifted himself off of the couch. Y/N snuggled herself closer into the couch, pulling her knees up closer. Bucky pulled pulled her blanket further and then stepped back. He took a deep breath, a sigh came out before he moved towards the kitchen to find Steve reading a newspaper and Clint and Sam laughing over the counter at something on his phone.

“Mornin’” he mumbled moving towards the coffee mug. Steve looked up and slowly slid his phone back into his pocket, he offered Bucky a smile.

“Ready for our run” Steve chugged the last of his coffee and stood from his seat. Bucky chugged his own drink and nodded. 

“I gotta get changed” he spoke more to himself than anyone else. To tell the truth Bucky didn’t want to go for a run even though he knew it was what he needed. All he wanted to do was sit on his couch in his own room and wallow in his sadness because right now his heart was breaking. She liked someone and it wasn’t him, of course it wasn’t. Who the hell would like him let alone her!? He wasn’t about to tell anyone about his night though, he wasn’t going to tell anyone what she said about her birthday and he had made a promise not to tell anyone her wish. Their night together was going to stay his secret.

“Buck! You ready?” Steve knocked loudly on his bedroom door as Bucky pulled the shirt over his head and moved to yank open the door. 

“Be patient fucking hell” he grumbled and walked past Steve who rolled his eyes and followed. Bucky wasn’t a morning person. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine

Taglist (open): @little-brown-foxx @ibookishqueen @jacelynenursalim @buckyos @marcelaverzani @winters-history @happywobble @allonszassbutt @wiplop @pantamemes @emotionallysalty @jsmith509 @acf2510 @ashleyhearto

and a big thank you for reading! Let me know what you think and requests are open!

[valkyriesryde]

Place Your Bets 5/9

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Money is on the line and the months are counting down so who will win in the bet to when Bucky and Y/N finally get together? And will they figure out what’s exactly going on

Warnings: Swears probably lol its just a lil bit of fluff in between the angst

Word Count: 1,950

Masterlist

Series Masterlist - Previous - Next

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You ready to lose old man?” Sam nudged Steve’s shoulder as they walked down the hall away from the lounge.

“I still have a week Sam” Steve scoffed. He was so close, he knew something was going on. Bucky had told him about the bathroom incident, told him about his drunken dream. Bucky had even told Steve, with no pushing from Steve might I add, that he was going to tell her how he felt soon. Steve was supportive of his friend, he didn’t push him to tell her, he didn’t suggest anything, he knew the rules and he was going to win fair and square, but his time was running out.

“Yea but nothing has happened for the last two weeks” Sam leaned against the door frame to his room as Steve stopped in the hall. “Face it, you’ve lost.” Sam raised his hands before retreating into his bedroom before Steve could reply. Not yet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Y/N tossed in her bed, 11:45pm it read on her phone and she was wide awake. Sleep wasn’t going to be a happening thing tonight. There were several things keeping Y/N up tonight, one of them was the fact that in fifteen minutes it was her birthday and tomorrow night the entire team will be having a get together in the compound to celebrate. She didn’t want a party, she never asked for a party, no one had asked her for the party, but it was happening and Y/N was dreading being the centre of attention for the entire night.

Another thing that plagued her mind this late at night was Bucky. After the events of the previous week she knew he mustn’t know what had happened in his drunken state. Everything was normal, or as normal as things normally were, actually, maybe they were less normal. Bucky seemed to walk out of the room less often when she came in, he even sat next to her at breakfast the other day. They didn’t speak, nothing more than a small good morning nod, but he sat next to her and even that was odd behaviour. She didn’t miss the raised eyebrows from Clint or Sam nudging Steve. She tried to ignore it though.

He didn’t remember kissing her, he didn’t remember her taking him to his room, he said that himself, not to her but he still said it. Maybe he’s just had a change of heart or got a telling off that he has to be nicer.

11:48pm. The other thing that plagued Y/N’s mind was the fact that this stupid pillow isn’t comfortable and why is the duvet all twisted up!

With a huff she got out of bed and threw a sweatshirt over her pyjamas. Maybe a walk and some TV will help, she thought. She walked through the dining room and slowly pulled open the sliding door that led into the lounge, she heard the TV going, thankful she wasn’t the only one up, until she saw Bucky sprawled out on the two-seater at the other side of the room watching the TV…and no one else.

11:54pm.

“Hey” he turned his head as soon as she spoke and sat up straighter against the back of the seat, his legs swinging round.

“Uh hey”

“Is it okay if I join you?” She walked over to the larger couch, he nodded and she took a seat at the end, not wanting to get too close to him, scared that it might scare him off.

11:56pm.

“Its your birthday tomorrow isn’t it?” He turned towards her again as she nodded, a small yup with a popping p. “Excited?” he asked.

“Not really,” she let out a small chuckle and looked at him, he raised an eyebrow urging her to continue. “Would much prefer to just have a movie night than a big party. It’s fine though.” She shrugged her shoulders before turning back to the TV. Bucky nodded slowly and hummed before turning his attention back as well.

11:58pm.

Bucky rose from his said and walked out of the lounge without a word. It was nice while it lasted Y/N thought to herself. The conversation they had shared had been the longest they’d shared in a while now. It was nice, talking to him, it seemed like he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. Y/N leaned back further into the cushion, baby steps.

Bucky strode into the kitchen like his life depended on it, he had an idea. Bucky prided himself in being a good friend, he was constantly making sure that everyone was happy and got what they wanted. It’s why he writes two different kinds of yogurt on the shopping list so Bruce and Steve each have what they like, it’s why he takes his time every morning getting ready for his morning run because he knows Sam likes to sleep in a little each morning. It’s also why he’s sneaking into the fridge and rearranging the cupcakes that Natasha and Bruce had spent half the day baking for the party tomorrow so it didn’t look like one was missing.

He’d been trying for the past week, he really had, he was trying to show Y/N that he was open to being her friend. Baby steps he had told Steve, get to know her first he said, then he can see if she might ever feel the same way. Steve had almost smacked Bucky at that but grudgingly let it slide.

He pulled out the small candle from the draw and stuck it into the frosting of the cupcake, lighting it with one of the matches he’d found in the draw. Before walking back into the lounge Bucky checked his phone, midnight, perfect timing. He walked in and sat on the couch next to Y/N she eyed him as he uncovered the candle and handed her the cupcake.

“Happy birthday” he simply said, she stared at him with her mouth agape not saying a word. Bucky started to panic, maybe this was too much too fast, maybe this isn’t what she wanted. “I just uh- I thought maybe you could have two birthdays” he brushed the hair back from his face, he could see the small smile on her own and it made me relax, “one for you and one for them.”

“Thank you,” she was beaming now, looking at the cupcake in her hands, Bucky couldn’t help his own smile as he watched her close her eyes and blow out the candle. Everything she did he just found so adorable. “Here” Y/N broke the cupcake in half and handed Bucky a piece, he hesitated slightly but they looked so good how could he resist. He took the cupcake, giving her a thanking smile.

“Did you make a wish?” he mumbled licking the remaining frosting from his fingers.

“Course” she smiled sweetly at him before darting her eyes back to her lap and up the television.

“What did you wish for?” Bucky didn’t know what had come over him, he wasn’t normally a talker, he never really asked the questions. Normally he was the one having to answer them with small sentences but this wasn’t Bucky’s normal. This was a now or never moment, it was his opportunity to get to know the girl he had been pining over for so long now. His entire body was itching just to know what was going on in her head.

“If I tell you it won’t come true.” The smile stayed on her face but she never diverted from the television. Bucky leaned his head against the back of the couch and bit his lip while he watched her.

“I won’t tell,” he lowered his voice, “and you get another wish tomorrow night anyway.”

“It’s stupid” he wanted to know so bad what she wished for, maybe he could make it happen and even if he couldn’t he just wanted to know.

“I won’t laugh.”

“Fine,” she looked down at her hands as they pulled and scrunched up her jersey, “I wished the guy I like liked me back” her head turned to face him, Y/N’s smile was gone, there was only sadness in her eyes, desperation. “See, stupid.” She turned back to the television and turned the volume up, she didn’t like that he could get the truth out of her so easily. She should have said something like world peace, but no, she couldn’t lie to him. Bastard.

Bucky stayed quiet, he didn’t laugh, he didn’t say anything either. His now or never was over and it was written in cold hard stone and thrown at him, never.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Do you think it’s over?” Clint looked at Sam, the two stood in the doorway of the lounge.

“Can’t know for sure but I’d say no” Sam answered, he took his phone out of his pocket and took a photo of the sight before them. Bucky and Y/N leaned against each other on the couch, a blanket each and their heads over one another. The TV was still on but now it was playing the morning news since Clint had changed the channel.

Sam’s phone pinged causing Bucky to stir as he came out of his slumber. The two men ducked out of the room before being caught. They ran into the kitchen to join Steve.

“What do you think Cap’n?” Sam smirked over his coffee.

“You still have seven days to wait Sammy boy” he didn’t even look up from his paper.

Bucky rubbed his eyes and groaned, he hated falling asleep on the couch. It always made his neck hurt and more often than not he woke up with something drawn on his face. This time he didn’t wake up with a knot in his neck though, he looked down at his makeshift pillow on his shoulder and saw Y/N still sound asleep against him.

“Dammit” he mumbled as he carefully lifted himself off of the couch. Y/N snuggled herself closer into the couch, pulling her knees up closer. Bucky pulled pulled her blanket further and then stepped back. He took a deep breath, a sigh came out before he moved towards the kitchen to find Steve reading a newspaper and Clint and Sam laughing over the counter at something on his phone.

“Mornin’” he mumbled moving towards the coffee mug. Steve looked up and slowly slid his phone back into his pocket, he offered Bucky a smile.

“Ready for our run” Steve chugged the last of his coffee and stood from his seat. Bucky chugged his own drink and nodded.

“I gotta get changed” he spoke more to himself than anyone else. To tell the truth Bucky didn’t want to go for a run even though he knew it was what he needed. All he wanted to do was sit on his couch in his own room and wallow in his sadness because right now his heart was breaking. She liked someone and it wasn’t him, of course it wasn’t. Who the hell would like him let alone her!? He wasn’t about to tell anyone about his night though, he wasn’t going to tell anyone what she said about her birthday and he had made a promise not to tell anyone her wish. Their night together was going to stay his secret.

“Buck! You ready?” Steve knocked loudly on his bedroom door as Bucky pulled the shirt over his head and moved to yank open the door.

“Be patient fucking hell” he grumbled and walked past Steve who rolled his eyes and followed. Bucky wasn’t a morning person.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Previous - Next

[autistic-paul]

Dumbass (With Love)

Summary:

Emma and Paul have different styles of communication, and Emma has a hard time being vulnerable. Also, she calls Paul a dumbass a lot. It works out.

Tags: Paulkins, Autistic Paul, Fluff, So much fluff.

AO3, or under the cut!

Emma wasn’t the most in touch with her feelings. Generally speaking, feelings belonged buried in her chest where no one could touch them, not even herself. Paul… Paul was not like Emma. Paul was open, he talked about how he felt, and he talked about how he felt about her. Watching him change as their relationship developed had been like seeing a flower bloom. He started spending more time with Bill, he smiled more, he seemed to find a purpose in life. Maybe it was something internal, him choosing to take what scraps of joy he could get, maybe it was as simple as Emma helping him realize that people could, and did, care about him. Emma decided it didn’t particularly matter. He was happy, and Emma enjoyed being around him, and she enjoyed the way he lit up when he saw her. She looked forward to him visiting her on this coffee break. She’s count down the minutes until it’d be time, when she’d turn around and see him standing there, waiting for the order that he no longer had to ask for. It’d be ready. As hard as it was to admit, Emma was happy too.

Their relationship had been pretty steady sailing from day one. Or at least, steady for them, given their clumsy start. They’d known each other for ages before anything had truly happened between them. Paul had come in for his shitty coffee every day, and every time, they’d strike up a conversation. It got out of hand far too quickly, Paul would have to run back to the office because they’d lose track of time. Zoey, that snitch, told Nora about Emma leaving the customers waiting so she could talk to the dude in the suit, because god forbid Emma get a few minutes to herself on the clock. The next day, Emma forced herself to tell Paul that she had to get to work. Their conversation about CRISPR would have to wait for another day. Paul’s face had fallen, the guy really didn’t have a poker face, and Emma considered telling Nora to fuck off. Before she could make a terrible decision, Paul spoke, the words running together like he hadn’t sorted them out in his mind. Only Paul Matthews would ask her if she wanted to get a coffee sometime while in a coffee shop. The second the words left his lips he closed his eyes, looking as if he was desperately begging for the ground to swallow him whole.

Emma was still surprised that she managed to keep a straight face. She simply slid Paul his cup of coffee, distantly realizing that once again, they’d talked long enough that it was no longer hot. If she’d had any doubts about her response, that cleared them away. Sliding him that coffee was as clear of a yes as she could manage, and it was a message. What made these daily conversations distinctly separate from dates? Other than the fact that she was at work, but damn, Emma didn’t give a shit about any of the other customers. She certainly didn’t chat with them, she was here to give them their cups of liquid sugar and get them out. Paul didn’t seem to get the hint, though. He seemed to think that her offer was a gentle rejection rather than a subtle yes. He was still busy purposefully not looking at her, his gaze on the floor, which made grabbing his coffee rather difficult. Needless to say, as he reached out to grab it, he misjudged how far away the cup was.

Emma had anticipated it, and before she knew it, her hands were over his, keeping the cup from spilling. Her damn heart had been pounding, and she cursed it. This wasn’t supposed to happen, it was such bullshit. She’d come to terms with the fact that she liked Paul a while back, but this? This was a betrayal. She was a grown woman, she could handle being asked out and a little physical contact without turning into a giggling schoolgirl. A thundering heart and rapidly warming cheeks were unacceptable.

Emma had reacted in the best way she could manage and drew her hands back, dropping them to her sides. Paul held his cup close, like it was something precious, and Emma nodded, though she suggested maybe a break from her workplace would be better. Paul pursed his lips and nodded, easily backtracking from his first suggestion. They’d settled on a movie, and that was that. It’d always been so simple for them from that point on. Conversation continued to flow freely, and the tension that Emma expected from a new relationship never showed itself.

They learned new things about each other every day, new ways that their methods of communicating could overlap or clash. Emma had to get used to his easy affection quickly, his tendency to press against her, his loving gaze, the way it seemed to be nothing to him to drop the casual ‘I love you’s. Of course, she wasn’t silent on the matter. She could say it back. It felt like closing her fist around her heart, pulling it free of her body and handing it to him. It felt like vulnerability . But she could say it. Showing her love with actions came much more naturally. Little favors, remembering things that he had a tendency to forget, asking him about his interests and listening to him tell her every little detail until she thought her ears would fall off, but enjoying every minute of it.

Paul was full of compliments, casually noting things that he loved about her. He wasn’t much for pet names, thank goodness, because Emma would have to draw a line if he started calling her sweetheart. He called her by her name, mostly. Or Em.

Emma called him by his name too, primarily. Or asshole. Dumbass. Motherfucker. Cocksucker. Babe, if she was feeling extraordinarily mushy. She didn’t think much of it, it was how she spoke to most people, and she was sure he knew that when she referred to him in those ways, it was with the love that she couldn’t express with any other words. Paul never seemed to react negatively. He responded to anything she called him. He knew her.

Still, it was a fairly new relationship, and Emma was struggling. She was sure she’d always struggle with her emotions, and especially, struggle with expressing them. Keeping up with Paul was a challenge, but she did her best. He deserved her very best.

Emma was worried about Paul. He loved Christmas, and she knew he’d rather be at home by the fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate. Instead, they had to go to his annual office Christmas party. Emma was already exhausted from the socializing, all the endless pointless chats. Emma simply couldn’t express just how little she cared about Ted’s holiday plans, or the trip to Barbados that Paul’s boss was planning. The bright lights were hurting her eyes, and Paul looked like he wanted to personally smash the speakers with a baseball bat. Was All I Want For Christmas is You playing for the second time, or was it just the songs blurring together? Paul was fidgeting with the ends of his red sweater endlessly, on the verge of fraying it past the point of return. Through her own stress, she could catch him fading out of the conversations, unable to focus. Once he started swallowing repeatedly, lifting his drink to his lips frequently in an attempt to hide it, Emma put her foot down. Fuck social obligation, this was miserable. She elbowed him in the side. He turned to face her, raising an eyebrow. “We should head home, it’s getting late.”

Paul took the cue and nodded. He turned back to Ted, who was rambling on about something or other, Emma hadn’t bothered to pay attention. She caught the word redhead and decided she’d rather stick to her own thoughts. Paul cut him off. “We’re going to head out now, I’ll see you soon, Ted.”

Ted smirked and winked. “Alright, you two have a nice night.” Neither of them dignified his implication with a response. Paul turned, heading towards the door.

“Hey, dumbass,” Emma said. Paul turned. “Coats? You planning on braving the walk to the car in just a sweater?”

Paul smiled sheepishly and made his way to the other room where their coats had been discarded. Emma was only waiting for a moment before a voice behind her drew her attention.

“That wasn’t very nice of you.” Emma turned. A woman with a festive red and green bow in hair was standing there, a glass of wine in her hand.

“I’m sorry?” Emma responded, still not entirely sure that the woman was talking to her. The woman… Charlotte! That was it. Paul had talked about her before. Charlotte looked like she regretted opening her mouth the moment Emma made eye contact, but she stiffened, steeling herself.

“I’ve known Paul for a long while, he’s a good friend of mine.” Guilt flooded Emma, she should have remembered Charlotte. “I don’t like the way you talk to him.”

Emma grew defensive. Sure, maybe Charlotte was a close friend of Paul’s, but who was she to tell Emma how their relationship should be? She hadn’t thought about her word choice until Charlotte brought it up, it had come naturally. Paul was used to it, it was fine. Wasn’t it? Emma was about to respond, but a hand squeezed her shoulder, then dropped down her side to close around her hand.

“You ready?” Paul said softly. He clearly hadn’t heard what Charlotte had said.

Emma was tired. It had been a long night, and she didn’t feel up to justifying her relationship to a woman she barely knew. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”

The car ride home was silent, both of them recovering from the night. Emma watched the snow fall in the streetlights, the beauty contrasting the turmoil of her thoughts. Maybe Charlotte was right. She knew kindness wasn’t her strong suit, but she tried , at least with Paul. The words she used didn’t matter, the intent underneath them was clear. What if they weren’t, though? Social cues weren’t Paul’s strong suit, and he was always so forthcoming and frank with his words, and…

Emma wanted to groan. Great. She’d fucked everything up. Again. She knew she needed to apologize, have a genuine talk about it, but the thought alone made her feel sick. She combed through her words carefully the whole drive, and when they got inside, she closed the door a little harder than she should.

Paul got started with his evening routine, preparing for bed, and Emma wandered aimlessly, trying to put off the inevitable. She eventually made her way to his side in bed, and he subconsciously shifted to be closer to her as he read. Emma sat there and fidgeted, trying to get the nerve to start a conversation that she didn’t want to have. It would be rude to do it now, she thought. Not after he needed to wind down from the torture of the Christmas party. Or maybe it would be wrong to do so while he was reading, she knew he was enjoying that book. Excuses, excuses.

She took a deep breath. “Hey, I need to talk to you.” Paul looked up at her. “You know I don’t mean it, right?” She paused. Paul’s gaze darted away for a moment. She could see his brain processing, trying to figure out what the fuck she was talking about. “The names. Earlier this evening.” Great, right out of the gate and she’s already lost the ability to communicate in full sentences. Paul furrowed his brow. “I called you a dumbass.” Emma mumbled.

Paul was thoroughly concerned. He nodded slowly. “You do that fairly often, Em.”

Emma dropped her face into her hands in frustration. He was going to make her spell it out, then? “Yeah, and I’m sorry, alright? It’s not… Nice.” Her voice was muffled by her palms. She waited for a response, but she didn’t get one. Instead, a hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling it away from her face. He twined his fingers with hers. Emma still couldn’t look at him.

“The first time I ever saw you, I was just trying out the new coffee shop down the road. As I was leaving, you called a customer an asshole for complaining about not getting whipped cream.”

Emma huffed. “He probably was an asshole.” Paul squeezed her hand.

“What I’m saying is that I know you, and I know the difference between a genuine insult from you and a pet name.”

At that, Emma whipped her head up. He was grinning at her, the motherfucker. “It’s not-”

“Yes, it is.”

“Oh, fuck. It is, isn’t it?” Emma grimaced, but relief was seeping through her bones.

Paul laughed, finally releasing her hand. He closed his book and placed it on the nightstand, switching his lamp off. He buried himself in his blankets and lay his head on the pillow, looking up at her and smiling softly.

The stress of the night followed by an equally stressful drive home finally caught up with Emma, and she suddenly wanted nothing more than unconsciousness. As she flicked the switch and plunged the room into darkness, she decided one more moment of painful vulnerability couldn’t hurt.

“Night. Love you.” She said, trying to force the meaning into the simple words.

“Good night, dumbass” Paul replied.

She laughed so hard that her sides hurt, and as she lay down, Paul pulled her close.

Emma wheezed a last giggle and let sleep take her, letting the anxiety of the day leave her, comfortable in Paul’s arms.