#gay people who live in my phone is it that bad yes/no

[cctinsleybaxter]

eating a bad sandwich and reading a scathing review of the new kim petras album that i haven’t even listened to yet highlight of my day so far

[toxi-works-at-culvers]

i am a man of my word. PHONE GUY BE UPON YE (rambling about him under the cut)

i havent talked about him much like at all, so quick infodump on him!!

he's around his early 30's in the fredbear's era, a very loyal employee who keeps working for fazbear entertainment despite the Rather Dismal Pay and Safety Regulations. he's present at the fnaf 1 and 2 locations, and the big scar over his eye is because he got attacked by foxy (his favorite animatronic :pensive:) but he lived!! (lost vision in that eye, however). he's well liked by henry for his dedication and william likes him because he's obedient and doesn't complain much even when overworked LMFAO. but hey at least they pay him... a bit more than the other employees! wow!

he kinda seems a bit shy from a first glance. he doesn't like confrontation and he's self-conscious about the scar on his face, people tend to give him weird looks because of it (he hated being stared at). despite all this he still tries to be friendly and helpful, never really outright rude to anyone. he's logical and likes to think things through before doing them, hates having his schedule thrown off, but he's a diligent worker and very good at planning. he's kinda lonely? he doesn't have many people in his life, his family lives far away (though they still maintain contact over the phone), and he's a closeted gay man and hasn't been able to find anyone to settle down with.

unfortunately for him, the closest people in his life happen to be his bosses and his coworkers, so he feels pretty guilty about the idea of leaving the company - especially when they're so short-staffed anyways. he's also not very rich, and the job isn't really that bad... right? /rhetorical

[ofstarsandvibranium]

if it’s not too much to ask (🥺) could you do a reader who’s best friends with Colin and he teases her about her crush on Jamie and tries to get them together? If not, NO WORRIES. Your stuff is so 🥰

(this ended up being a lot longer than I intended...whoops!)

You and Colin grew up together. You were two peas in a pod, the thickest of thieves. You knew everything about each other. You were the first person he told when he realized he was gay. He was the first person you told after you had your first kiss. You're each other's platonic soulmates.

As such, you're always trying to help each other in regards to your dating lives. When he told you about Michael, you were excited to see your best friend finally found his person. Michael was amazing and you two clicked instantly, to Colin's relief.

Your love life? Weeeell...

Colin and Michael were expecting you since twenty minutes prior, you texted them: THIS DATE SUCKS. IM COMING OVER.

So you're now sitting on Colin's couch in between the couple.

"So what happened this time?" Colin asks.

"All he talked about was football, specifically West Ham," that got Colin groaning, "He also looked my Instagram up and saw the pictures of you and I. Asked if we dated in the past, if you'd be able to get him tickets to the next Richmond versus West Ham game."

"You know you can archive the pictures of us so people-"

"No. I'd never do that to you, Col. It's like I'm ashamed of you and I'm not."

Colin gives a small smile and nod of appreciation, "Thanks, babe."

"Maybe you can set her up with one of your teammates," Michael suggests.

A lightbulb went off in Colin's head and you immediately said, "Don't."

"He's available."

"It'll be weird!"

"No, it won't!"

"Isn't he a dickhead?"

"Not as much anymore!"

Michael waved in front of you and Colin, "What's going on?"

You groan, hiding your face in your hands, "Kill me."

Colin snickers, "Y/N's celebrity crush before I got into the league was Jamie Tartt. When she found out he was being lent to Richmond, she freaked out. Made a complete fool of herself by tripping in front of him and getting a bloody nose."

"Ooohh. That's pretty bad." Michael says, wincing.

"It was so mortifying!" you cry out, "There's no way he'd want to date me after that disaster!"

"He might not even remember it," Colin says reassuringly.

"I don't want to risk it," you turn to Michael, "Michael, tell him it's a bad idea."

Michael looks to his boyfriend, "Do you vouch for Jamie?"

Colin nods, "I do, actually. He's completely turned his act around. He can still be a prick sometimes, but it's not as bad as it was when he first joined the team."

Michael focuses back on you, "You should go for it."

You immediately stand up, "Nope. I'm not making myself out to be a fool again. No thanks! I'm out!"

_____________________

"Hey, Jamie," Colin rushes up to Jamie as he exits his car.

Closing the door behind him, Jamie responds, "Yeah, mate?"

"You're not seeing anyone right?"

"No," Jamie replies with furrowed brows, look of confusion.

"My best friend, Y/N, she's beautiful, funny, and smart and think you and her would be a great match." Colin holds out his phone, showing Jamie a really great candid picture of you that he took when you two went to dinner months ago.

Jamie nods at the picture. You were, indeed, very beautiful. The way the sun hit your skin made you look angelic, "She's...nice."

Colin rolls his eyes, "One date. That's all I ask."

"Why me though?" Jamie still looks a bit confused, "Why not Bumbercatch or Isaac?"

"I just think you and Y/N would fit really well. She's been having a rough time with dating so I figured you'd show her how she should be treated."

To be fair, Jamie was thinking about getting back into the dating scene. He finally got over Keeley, accepting that they'd just be better off as friends. You seemed like a decent person, from the few things Colin mentioned. Might as well, right?

"Fuck it. Sure."

Colin fist bumped the air, "Yes! You won't regret it. I'll make the plans. You just show up."

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

_______________

You show up to Ola's, a place you've been to before. As soon as you walk in, Colin and Michael are there.

"I need to preface this and say you can't be mad at me," Colin says.

You narrow your eyes at him, "What did you do?"

"It'll be fine. I promise. Michael and I will be on the other side of the restaurant if you need anything, but you won't, because it'll be great."

"But if it goes wrong, it was definitely all his doing," Michael says, pointing to Colin.

Colin grimaces, "Thanks, babe." He takes your hand and leads you towards the back corner where Jamie fucking Tartt was sitting.

You immediately give Colin a look and he pushes you towards him, murmuring, "It'll be fine!"

You slowly approach the table and Jamie looks up, giving you a polite smile as he pockets his phone.

"Hi, I'm Jamie," he offers his hand out.

"I know," you say as you shake his hand, "I'm so sorry Colin roped you into this. You really don't have to be here if you don't want to."

He shrugs, "It's fine. Been meanin' to get back into the dating game. Besides, if things don't really work out, we get free dinner and drinks out of it, yeah?"

Your brows shot up, "Colin's paying?"

Jamie nods, "He said he would."

You smirk and gesturing for a server. He smiles at you, "Would you like to start with drinks?"

You nod, "Yes, we'll have your most expensive bottle please."

It's now Jamie's brows that shoot up and he looks at you in surprise. When the server leaves to get the drinks, you lean in and said, "It's payback," you sigh as you sit down.

"So...you weren't too keen on going on a date with me then?" he asks awkwardly.

You suddenly look mortified, "No, no! That's not it at all it's-I-ugh!" you slump back in your chair. You let out a deep breath and sit up again, "Alright, so I believe two years ago, you and I actually met before and I made a complete fool out of myself because I tripped and ate the pavement. I busted my lip, there was lots of blood. Not a pretty sight or a cool thing to do in front of your celebrity crush."

Jamie smirks, "I'm your celebrity crush?"

You sit there in silence, mentally cursing yourself and Colin for making you go through this embarrassment again. You stand, "Right, okay, I've embarrassed myself enough. I'm leaving."

Jamie rushes to a stand, "No, please, don't. I'm only teasin' ya. It's nothin' bad, I promise. You're-You're very cute when you're flustered."

"Thanks," you murmur.

Luckily, the server came back with the most expensive bottle of wine. As soon as he poured your glass, you began downing it. Jamie watches you in amusement.

"Sorry, I just need some liquid courage to get through this."

Jamie leans forward, resting his arms on the table, "How about this, we just forget who I am for tonight. I'm not Jamie Tartt, the most amazing striker in the league. Just Jamie, a nervous lad on a date with a beautiful girl."

"You're nervous?" you ask in shock.

He shrugs, "It's been a while since I've gone on a proper date. Kinda forgot how to do this sort of stuff."

"Pft, I've gone on many dates and so far, you're the best one."

"Yeah? Tell me about 'em."

And that's how dinner goes. Over another glass and eventually over some food, you tell Jamie about your past dates. He tells you about some ridiculous things he's done with the guys when Coach Lasso was around. It was nice. It was nice knowing that Jamie wasn't here because he wanted to get close to Colin. He was there because he wanted to. You assumed he was interested in you by the way he flirted with you throughout the nice. So maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Once dinner was over, Colin came over with a pout, "Did you guys really have to order the most expensive items here?!"

"That's what you get for tricking me like that," you boop his nose and Michael snickers as he weaves his fingers through Colin's.

"But it went alright, yeah?" he looks at you and Jamie.

"I'd say so," Jame puts his hand on your lower back, "We're, uh, actually gonna head to a pub for more drinks."

"Oh! Well, uh, I think Michael and I will head on home then."

You don't want to give Colin the satisfaction just yet, so you say, "I'll text you later when I'm home."

"Sounds good," he says and pulls at Michael's hand, "Let's go, babe."

Looking over his shoulder, Michael gives you a wink and a thumbs up.

You snort and then turn to Jamie, "Ready?"

"Whenever you are, love." and you two head out onto more drinks, more talking, and, hopefully, more dates after this.

[loullaby]

actually i do wanna talk about this.

maybe eddie and tommy meet earlier. maybe through some sort of VA program just after eddie gets to LA and he's trying to set up with the most local branch. tommy hasn't quite come out yet but he's looking for friends and hey! eddie like mma and cars and wants to be a firefighter! it's great!

(and maybe tommy talks eddie into therapy earlier. maybe eddie talks about it in a message he leaves on shannon's phone. maybe they see each other again, earlier. maybe they begin divorcing. maybe she lives and they're all better off for it and it's okay. but that's for another time.)

and then eddie's deciding which station to go to for his probie period and tommy's like. you have to choose the 118. trust me.

but they're drunk, so tommy doesn't stop there. he goes on about how howie and hen are great. about how the new captain - who's still there! - is a godsend. the new guy who replaced tommy is - according to howie - also great. but watch out for karen, hen's wife. she knows everything. she /definitely/ knows that tommy's gay.

and eddie, who did not know that tommy is gay because tommy is still in the closet, is like oh??? but trying to be polite. and the topic is left alone for the night except that suddenly eddie's obsessing over it, like. tommy is into guys? he doesn't seem like it. is he into eddie? has he been flirting with eddie? eddie hopes so, and then realizes that maybe he's into tommy and suddenly eddie is joining the 118 and also joining tommy on the road to self-acceptance.

and then eddie meets buck and he's like. oh. tommy. tommy. you have GOT to meet this guy.

oooooh, i love this! please, tommy, make eddie go to therapy as soon as possible lol and i wish shannon was still alive so bad!

i love the VA idea! their backgrounds are so similar, it would be so nice for them to have someone who understands what they've been through, specifically for eddie, because we know he didn't kept in touch with the people from his unit. we don't know anything about tommy's army days, but i'm gonna guess he didn't either.

yes, karen wilson supremacy! my girl knows everything, and she'll make those dumbasses figure it out they belong together. eddie is as clueless as buck, he wouldn't know tommy was flirting until someone pointed it out 😂

and buck is the perfect complement for them 🥺 eddie and tommy connect in a way neither of them connects with buck, but also, buck awakes a side of them no one else was able to. they still act like "tough army guys" who never panic and in come sunshine golden retriever evan buckley and they gay panic!

[noodyl-blasstal]

33... and you... and me

It's day 2 of @taznovembercelebration and today's prompt was "promise". I drew a second card and got "celebrity AU" so here's a mix of those. It's extra silly because what is taznc for if not to roll around in the ridiculousness?

You can find yesterday's here, and read this one below or on Ao3.

--

"I can't just slide into his dms and propose, you're being ridiculous." Kravitz flops back on the sofa, head in Sloane's lap. "Why'd he have to go and get famous and unobtainable?"

"Ah yes, it would be ridiculous, wouldn't it, for someone to get all famous without warning. Perhaps be some big shot that everyone wants as musical director."

Kravitz harrumphs. "I'm a big name to a very small group of people. It's not the same and you know it. Taako's on TV! Television!! He has live events! He signs things!! He has calendars, every year!!"

"You could have calendars every year if you just listened to my suggestio..."

"Sloane! I am not doing suggestive poses in my pants holding a baton. We've had this conversation an upsetting amount of times."

"Look Krav, I'm gay as hell, but I know excellent marketing when I think of it."

"Uh huh."

"But mostly, I know an excellent distraction when I think of one."

Kravitz is tumbling to the ground before he can do anything to counteract Sloane's shove. She's into the bathroom and has the door locked before he's back on his feet. Maybe he does need to take up yoga or something to help him fall and un-fall more gracefully.

"What’s going on?" Kravitz shouts through the door.

"I'm going through a tunnel, I can't hear you!" Sloane yells back.

"If you're ill you could have just said, do you need me to get you anything?"

"You can't be nice to me right now." Sloane has just enough guilt in her tone to indicate that this was, in fact, not a medical emergency.

"Sloane? What did you do?"

"What am I doING?" Sloane corrects.

"Sloane?" Kravitz tries not to let worry creep into his voice, he fails. Wait... No. No no no! Kravitz pats at his right pocket desperately, then the left just in case he stashed his phone there instead. Nothing. "Tell me you didn't?"

"What's that? Bad line, I can't hear you."

"Sloane!" The panic is there now, evident, front and centre, 100% justified.

There's no reply. Shit. Kravitz runs for his laptop, maybe if he just changes his password...

"I already changed it." Sloane hollers from the bedroom.

Kravitz changes tactic, tries for his emails.

"Sorry Krav, I changed that too."

"You don't even know what I'm doing."

"You're on your emails, you're predicable."

"Actually, I'm calling the police." Kravitz yells, petulant and stupid.

He can hear Sloane snorting with laughter from down the hall. She's never going to let him forget that one. Shit.

--

"How bad was the message you sent?"

“The message I sent? Oh, we’re not going to be talking about any messages from me today.”

“What do you mean?”

"Well, while rhapsodising about how much you want to marry Taako, how wonderful you think Taako is, how unobtainable and perfect and wonderful, you forgot to mention that you've stayed in touch. You also forgot to mention that he follows you. You forgot to mention, Kravitz, that you and Taako have been chatting."

"It's not chatting, it's just talking sometimes."

"Uh huh." Sloane narrows her eyes.

"He doesn't know who I am or anything. He probably doesn't even remember me."

Sloane clears her throat and reads off her screen. ""Nice to see that Taako's future husband is keeping it tight." Reply to a photo you sent him in which you're conducting. He does seem to have circled your arse in the screen shot he sent back."

"That's not serious. He's joking."

"And the countdown?"

"What?" Surely she didn't go through the whole conversation? There’s loads of it. So what if Taako messages him sometimes, so they video called semi-occasionally? It didn't mean anything, he'd never specifically said it meant anything.

"And I quote." Kravitz didn't like the sound of that. "Happy birthday, wandsome, 4 years 'til you're mine."

"That's... It… It doesn’t…"

"3 years 'til we can buy the cottage and run away together, handsome. Temporarily, obvi, Taako needs to stay current."

"How many screenshots do you have?" Kravitz might be able to anticipate exactly how bad this is if he knows. Maybe she searched for keywords and didn’t scroll.

"Your birthday last year: "1 year, we're nearly there, don't go falling in love with anyone else.""

"Okay, I get it. He talks to me and he remembers my birthday."

"Kravitz, you are, as ever, focusing on the wrong headline here. He remembers the promise, you know, the one you've been agonising over? Positively fretting about, in fact. "Should I remind him? Should I see if he's interested?" The answer's yes, Krav, you should see if the man who has reminded you about the ridiculous fucking promise for the last 3 years is interested in following through."

"But his boyfriend?"

"Hold on, wait, what boyfriend? Have you been messaging him even though he's with someone else?? Kravitz!"

"He's never mentioned him to me. Just, there's been a few interviews..." He tails off.

Sloane taps at her phone.

"Are you googling Taako?"

"No, I'm googling "boyfriend "Taako Tacco"" because I actually want relevant results."

Kravitz sighs and takes his place at Sloane's shoulder. Their height difference was nothing if not perfect for group research.

"My boyfriend doesn't like to be in the spotlight, we'll, apart from when he's doing it for work, he's a baller music guy, only the best for Taako, natch."

Sloane turned slowly to glance at Kravitz.

"I don't know who it is." He shrugs. "Taako didn't mention him to me, so I thought maybe it was to keep them off his back, or, you know, some kind of stunt."

"Mmm hmm. Well here's one from earlier this year, see if you can think of anyone it might be. Taako says: "I think it's pretty serious. We talked about marriage a long time ago and we check in every year. Mind you, who wouldn't want to be married to America's favourite kitchen wizard?""

"He's not wrong. Anyone would jump at the chance." Maybe his voice isn't meant to sound so dreamy, but it's Taako. He's everything Kravitz wants from a partner, funny, attentive, generous, smart, gorgeous.

Sloane all but groans. "Gross." She grimaces up at Kravitz. "Being disgusting isn't getting you out of this though, next one: "yeah, I'm sure he's the one. I've known him forever and haven't been interested in anyone else." Oh, and here’s some more, interesting: "he comes to my shows occasionally, I love it when he's in the audience, always inspires a bit of extra magic, gotta make sure he remembers how great Taako is." Haven't you been to a few of his shows, Kravitz?"

"Well obviously, I go whenever I can." He does, it's important to support your friend who you may also be in love with. It’s also really nice when Taako comps his ticket, although they agreed to do one on one off so Kravitz can support the show too.

"And you let him know you're going?"

"Well it usually comes up when we're chatting, or, you know, planning when to meet up?"

"Oh, so you've been meeting up?"

"Yeah, of course.” Kravitz hesitates. “...Only when he's in town and, you know, the times I flew out to meet him."

"Uh huh." Sloane's doing the voice she usually adopts when Kravitz is being particularly dim about something.

"It's nice, you know, to keep in touch."

"Would you say you keep in touch a normal amount, based on your other acquaintances?" There's a trap here, Kravitz can tell, but he doesn't know what it is.

"Well I talk to him less than you, and you're basically my only other friend."

"Oh don't make it sad when I'm trying to bully you."

"Sorry." Kravitz says, resting his chin on her shoulder, that might garner enough sympathy to get him out of this.

"So how often would you say you kiss, you know, when you're seeing each other a normal amount?"

Or maybe it wouldn’t get him of out this. Kravitz tries hard not to freeze up and demonstrate the level of panic flowing through him. "Ah… well, you know... The, er, the usual amount." He says, casually. Definitely casually. She won't suspect anything.

"Which issssss?"

Shit. Well, honest is the best policy. “Every time. Obviously. Kiss your homies."

"We're homies, we don't kiss."

"Would you, er... Like to?" Kravitz's throat is dry, clicking as he tries to get the words out. He really doesn’t want to have to kiss Sloane.

Sloane lurches away from him. “No! Gross. God.”

“Alright, there’s no need to be so totally disgusted about it.” He doesn’t need to be defensive about this, he doesn’t want to be defensive about this! He had one misguided attempt at kissing girls and realised very quickly that he had no interest in it, but, pride is a fickle thing, and Kravitz clearly needs to work on his.

“Are you actually upset that I, a gay woman, don’t want to kiss you, a gay man, who has absolutely no interest in me and knows that I don’t want any kind of romantic relationship with him? Also, what exactly do you think Hurley’s going to say when I tell her about this?”

“No! But…”

“Kravitz, you are very handsome, I will not stroke your ego any more than that. Back on track - you’ve been kissing Taako on the reg for at least 3 years now?”

Kravitz cringes.

“Kravitz!”

If he doesn’t reply he can’t be in trouble. That’s science.

“Kravitz AdventureZone! How long?”

“Six years.” He mumbles as quietly as he dares.

“One more time there, friend?”

“Six years.” He says more clearly, he’s not going to repeat it again.

“Six fucking years? I thought you were going out of town for work stuff!”

“I was sometimes! You didn’t ask every time.”

“I…” Sloane gives an exasperated sigh.

“Please tell me you know who his boyfriend is.”

“I just told you, Taako’s never mentioned him, I don’t know if he exists.”

“Kravitz. Engage your brain. Think about this. You have been seeing this man regularly kissing and I assume more…”

“I read about brojobs one time and just kind of assumed it was an extension of tha…”

“No, stop talking right now immediately. I refuse to hear you say anything else about boning down. You have never seen a penis before, even your own.” Sloane clamps a hand across his mouth. “Now, you’ve been seeing him regularly, kissing, more.” Sloane presses her hand down more firmly, just in case he tries to add anything else. “... and you work in music.” She removes her hand.

“I work in music.” Kravitz says quietly.

“You sure do.”

“And we message nearly every day, and video call a few times a week.”

“Uh huh.”

“And he sends me nice things and I send him nice things.”

“Yep.”

“And we joke about the promise every year.”

“Do you think maybe it’s not a joke?”

“He could have anyone!”

“I’m not convinced he wants anyone else, Krav.”

“I… I’m dating Taako?”

“Sure are, bud.”

“I. Fuck.” Kravitz sits down on the floor. “He never said.” He says, more to his feet than to Sloane. His Mums always taught him to put his head between his bent knees when he felt floaty so he could be small and heavy instead.

“Apart from all the times you talked about getting married?”

“He didn’t specify he wasn’t joking.”

“Did he specify that he was?”

“No.” Kravitz says, sulkily.

“And how about all the times you talked about moving in together?”

“We moved in together!” There, he’s being reasonable! Flawless logic.

“Yeah, but you’re not in love with me are you?”

“No.” Says Kravitz reluctant to admit defeat... Although, actually, wait. “But he doesn’t know that!”

“That you’re not in love with me?”

“No! That I’m in love with him.”

“So you haven’t told him you love him?”

“Well, I mean, I obviously tell him I love him.”

“Uh huh.” Sloane sounds like she’s about to implode.

“But like, in the normal way.”

“Uh huh.” He’s not sure he’s ever heard her voice pitched so high. “When you say normal?”

“Just like, the usual amount, that I would tell a friend who I’m in love with and also sleeping with and seeing regularly and… fuck.”

“Yes, you already established the fucking, there’s no need to boast.”

Kravitz should laugh, it’s funny, is the thing, it really is, but right now he’s rehashing 6 years worth of memories. It seems obvious, now that Sloane has laid it out for him, but how was he supposed to know? If no one clarifies then why’s he suddenly supposed to assume they’re dating and not just friends? At what point does that even happen? It’s been wonderful, is the thing, he loves that man, deeply, truly, passionately. That was the reason he’d brought up the promise in the first place. When they both hit 33, if there was no one else they wanted to marry, they’d marry each other. It had been the perfect plan when they were 10, and 15, and 20. But Taako had gone off and been famous and they saw each other less and Kravitz had just assumed that now that the world loved Taako too Taako would love someone else.

But he didn’t.

He hadn’t for the past who knows how many years, he definitely hadn’t for the last 6, because he’d picked Kravitz, chosen him to pour his time and his love into and Kravitz hadn’t even noticed properly. Or, of course he’d noticed that it was an important relationship. He’d celebrated Taako’s achievements, birthdays, candlenights; he’d bought every single one of his calendars and made him autograph them; he even made the world’s first and only copy of ‘“Got Wood?” a conductor pin up calendar’ for Taako. But no one had explicitly said they were dating. Taako hadn’t acknowledged it, well, except in the interviews… shit.

Kravitz stood up too fast, grabbed the table to steady himself. “I need to buy a ring.”

“Right now?”

“Right now! It’s nearly my birthday.”

“The promise?”

“Yes. I intend to keep it.”

-

Want to read more? Find Day 3 here.

[ritzy-dream-boy]

hello gay people in my phone here is 6061 words of nimona analysis i made over the course of about 4 hours (the film itself is 1hr 42mins i was pausing and rewinding a A LOT)

my other nimona posts are here, here, and here

i will be referring to nimona throughout this analysis/commentary with she/he/they/it

i am also happy to take asks about it

•the obvious classism - ballister being mistreated by the other knights, having to put his armour on by himself while the others have squires to help and only ambrosius helping him, being the first normal person to make it as a knight. and the fact his armour is both a different, darker colour to the rest and clearly of a lower quality.

•the fact ballister INSTANTLY notices that there is something off with his sword because it’s not HIS sword, but he doesn’t mention it (i’m assuming he’s putting it down to nerves)

•the director saying ‘today the people will see you for who you truly are’ is such a good double meaning - to ballister and ambrosius (hearing bc he’s stood right next to him) it’s praise for ballister being able to prove he’s worth the chance and that he’s not what people think, but for the director orchestrating the whole thing it’s got the darker meaning, bc she has never wanted him there and agrees with the knights (pretty much) that he doesn’t deserve anything, and she means that the people will see him as the ‘monster’ he is

•the way ambrosius reacts to the queen’s death/ballister’s apparent actions - instead of disarming him or even just removing his hand, he goes for the whole arm. it’s a testament to his training and the way he’s been raised, despite his relationship with ballister it was instinct/memory to remove the threat, with as much force as possible honestly. as well as it reflecting the knights training, it reflects the overarching message of the kingdom and how they react to threats/perceived monsters with intent to destroy/attack rather than nullify peacefully.

•nimona’s teeth being the first thing we clearly see about their appearance, the fact their teeth are clearly drawn to have sharper canines/fangs to instantly show us that he’s not human. the teeth aren’t actually drawn any sharper in this brief moment, but if you look closely they’re a brighter shade of white than the rest and to me that shows the same thing.

•the very first instance of nimona meeting a human is being called a freak just because they’re THERE - it’s based solely on her appearance because at this point in time no one knows what it is, it instantly shows the message of ‘different = bad’ and in this case rather than classism like with ballister and the knights (though if we were to put them in a class it would be working/peasantry however you wanna put it) it’s just because of his appearance. this also shows her defence mechanism, and how used to it they are, he doesn’t even LOOK at the guy when she sprays him with paint, because it’s a practised motion. some people will probably put that down to ‘oh it’s because she’s focused on the news’ when in reality it’s because they have had so much experience with hate over the many years it’s lived that he doesn’t even need to look anymore.

•the news announcement. yes, nimona’s plan is to dismantle the kingdom and chooses ballister as a boss because of what he supposedly did, all these things being said about how he’s a murderer who should never be trusted, everyone is scared of him and he’s not one of them. that he’s a monster at which point nimona says ‘he’s perfect’. because yes, they chose ballister for the fact he’s an outcast who hates the kingdom like nimona does. but also, nimona chooses him because it sees itself in ballister. they have been called all of those things (the news even name dropped him as ‘the most hated thing since gloreth’s monster’) and more, and that reflection is what matters most.

•THE FACT NIMONA IS ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY REFERRED TO AS ‘THE MONSTER’ OR ‘GLORETH’S MONSTER’. THE LEVEL OF POSSESSION THE REVERED HERO AND BY EXTENSION ALL HUMANS HAVE OVER SOMETHING/SOMEONE THEY DEEM LESSER THAN THEMSELVES. TO THE POINT THEY NEVER EVEN GIVE NIMONA/THEIR MONSTER A NAME OF ITS OWN.

•ballister building himself a fully functional prosthetic arm with one hand in a broken tower outside of the kingdom with (presumably) limited supplies (while also listening to banger music)

•the fact that his immediate weapon is a broken bottle, showing the massive downgrade of his circumstances, but also showing how he is still the same man with the same training because his response to a threat is to arm himself and he has that bottle within immediate reach. plus his reflexes to grab the falling tin/can without even looking because that would give away his position. but also, showing that softness we see more clearer later in the film because he is BLASTING that music through (what looks to me like) a speaker system he also presumably built one handed (or stole but i don’t think his morals would allow that)

•nimona’s instant beloved weirdness (and the now clearer sharper than average canines) with the ‘did they let you keep the old one’ and their whole demeanour throughout this meeting scene shows their distinct inhuman-ness while still allowed him to maintain its cover - the casual dismissal of a bottle in their face, the ‘little girls? how old do you think i am?’ with a tone of offence and the sense that the second question is an inside joke with themself, the complete disregard of dangerous objects (grabbing a flamethrower, leaning on a spinning table saw and stopping it with their arm because they know it won’t cause much damage, grabbing a knife by the blade)

•in the same scene, nimona’s childish nature. while they may be centuries old, the spinning on the chair, the wheeling about instead of walking, the drawing style is all so incredibly childlike and it’s a testament to the fact nimona IS still a child despite being older than a human can truly comprehend. for all we know, since nimona is the last/only of his kind, this is how it works, maybe adulthood doesn’t come for centuries more. and that childishness (said positively), the fact it IS a child, is also reflected much later on with the way they react.

•also the fact the drawings are what happen later on (specifically the rhino one)

•the way nimona moves faster than ballister can comprehend - this is what made me realise the first time i watched this film that nimona isn’t human. (i have a talent for predicting twists/outcomes in films very early on with 100% accuracy)

•the way nimona reacts to ballister saying he’s not a villain - initially (to me) their tone when asking if ballister isn’t a villain has a tiny smudge of hope (that someone it sees itself in isn’t like them) but that then moves to disappointment when he confirms. because despite that initial hope, nimona truly believes at this point that it is a monster and is a villain and has leant into it this entire time because if people call you something enough you’ll choose to give them what they want and/or you’ll believe it. (this is then also shown briefly with nimona’s comment to ballister in the cell with ‘once everyone sees you as a villain that’s what you are, no matter how hard you try’, and that vulnerability before the instant click back to her regular way of acting)

•the director’s entire demeanour. cold, calculating, presenting herself as the victim who was done wrong, ignoring the way ballister pleads his innocence knowing full well that he is. it’s chilling.

•’break stuff.’ ‘that’s a hard no.’ followed by ballister sneaking and nimona’s casual destruction of property

•additional comment, i truly believe nimona’s weirdness/gory comments are because they don’t really know what humans consider weird/against norms so they say whatever comes to mind

•’ambrosius.’ ‘gesundheit.’ but also the way that trust between ballister and ambrosius is broken, even though ambrosius still calls him ‘bal’ (show that he doesn’t truly believe it’s true, or at least doesn’t want to) ballister can not trust the man who cut off his arm.

•LIGHT SYMBOLISM - it’s first shown in the armour, but also in that face off. ambrosius is fully in the light, ballister (and nimona) is not. i feel like i shouldn’t have to explain exactly what this means with their place in society and the way they’re perceived.

•nimona trusting ballister enough to show their true nature and making him promise to not freak out, ballister instantly freaking out because nimona is a ‘monster’ - but also the rhino scene from the drawing

•’what are you?’ ‘i’m nimona!’ + ‘i’m a lot of things’ - their identity is very simply nimona, that’s who he is. nothing that can be simplified to what ballister tries to label it as.

•nimona’s eye shines being rounded, ballister’s being squares when at the start they were diamonds, ambrosius’ being diamonds until over halfway through. - it’s about the connection to the kingdom and institute. ambrosius is fully in there under their control, ballister is separated after the queen’s death but still has faith in the people who raised him and took him in, nimona is far from both humans and trust in the rulers.

•similar to the above point, overall character design. nimona is rounded in general, their design is softer despite the way they present themself as a threat, someone to be feared, someone with jagged hair and piercings. it’s the truth of who he is. something soft, something scared, something that is not a threat. the director is smoothed, polished, but it’s not the same. she is still sharp, she is still a threat despite everything about her being clean and poised and someone to be trusted. the knights have rounded armour, to make them appear safe to citizens, to be seen as trustworthy too because they are defenders and monster killers. ambrosius has the same armour but specifically his hair is rounded, and that difference is everything because despite him being the literal golden boy, descendant of gloreth, he is genuinely someone to trust who wants what is right and the only reason he is on the institute’s side is because until later that is what he truly believes is right. ballister is in the same armour (just with the colour theory in play) but at the same time his armour is more jagged, it’s not as smooth as the others. it’s a deliberate choice to make him seem less trustworthy than the others because of his status and where he comes from.

•the similarity between ballister and nimona just in the fact they both blast music when they’re in their element (though nimona’s is through his headphones because to me it is linked to having to be under the radar)

•’i made it more evil lair-y’ but there is clearly fairy lights in the background and l art over the walls. the combination of both nimona’s act and the truth.

•ballister’s instant training response (much like ambrosius’ arm removal service) being to go for a weapon as he remembers nimona isn’t human because they are perceived as a threat, but also backing away when he remembers he doesn’t have a sword because despite everything nimona has done (breaking him out, decorating the lair, cooking him breakfast tacos) he STILL sees her as a threat. - additionally, nimona’s instant defensive nature and clocking that ballister is going for the offence he doesn’t have, but it presents as aggression because that is how they know to defend themself. the only actual aggression is when ballister calls him a monster because who wouldn’t react that way at hearing something that has haunted them their whole life (nimona is traumatised by the way they have been treated by humans, i don’t think y’all are ready for that discussion but i’ll make it happen)

•’what are you?’ ‘i’m. nimona.’ but with massively different undertones this time round. which then shifts into ballister’s first attempt at genuinely trying to understand, the way his posture shifts and his expression changes when nimona backs off and looks defeated and says ‘everyone hates you too’ because he actually understands that feeling. but he still doesn’t get it, with ‘that THING you do, it’s too much’ ‘can you just be YOU please’. but he sees something there and that is the first instance of change in him.

•’can you just be YOU please? girl you.’ ‘but i’m not a girl.’ - ballister still does not get it, but he’s not aggressive anymore. it’s progress.

•the pure joy that is the carless whisper subway saxophone player. this whole subway scene was so joy-sparking to me. the saxophone, ‘was it a sea otter or a river otter?’, nimona shifting into ballister and going all out crazy with the performance and the accent saying anything cartoonishly evil, ‘i hope you like freestyle jazz!’ ‘he hates freestyle jazz.’

•the return to ballister’s acceptance journey with ‘can you just be normal’ ‘it would be easier if you were a girl’ ‘easier for you, a lot of people aren’t as accepting as me’ - we ALL know that while yes, ballister’s very slow and incomplete acceptance of nimona is leagues better than the rest of the people, he is not entirely meaning it’ll be easier for nimona. HE is still uncomfortable with nimona’s existence and would prefer it for his own sake if they were presenting in a way he’s familiar and comfortable with despite knowing the truth. and then directly after comes nimona’s half-truth backstory when ballister asks about where they came from. we see the truth about nimona’s life in the animals, but they are sanitising their story and making it more pleasant for him to hear only to force him to accept that he’s small minded by telling him outright that he isn’t as great as he thinks.

•the whole car thing spliced with demon baby nimona is incredible and comedic genius.

•nimona not knowing how to deal ballister being worried about him and his injury because to her, that not how it works. on both the front of never having someone care about them AND the fact that they don’t experience things the way humans do (see later in the film when acting as ambrosius, in which nimona gets stabbed through and walks it off) and ballister still not getting that. but the clear progress and development of their relationship in the fact ballister DOES care and openly shows concern

•then learning more about how to not ask about how the shifting works because it’s small minded, but nimona answering anyway (in a sense) because they know he’s genuinely curious now and wants to learn rather than suppress them.

•’how would it feel if you didn’t shapeshift?’ ‘i feel worse when i don’t do it. when i shapeshift i’m free. i’d die. i sure wouldn’t be living.’ - this entire dialogue is so obviously trans-coded. it’s essentially a (very accurate) metaphor for dysphoria, and that is only proven true, not even amplified but it’s just TRUE, by the trans flag in the background.

•nimona as a whole is just an extended metaphor for being trans. trans specifically in a way that is more complicated than being binary trans or even agender. those things are what the majority can understand easy enough, like 1 2 3. this is more complex. it’s possible i’m projecting my own life and experiences here but that’s what media is for isn’t it.

•nimona actually saying outright that the institute brainwashed ballister - he defends ambrosius and their training in general saying he ‘disarmed a weapon’ in which he inadvertently refers to himself as a whole, as a person, as being a weapon. nimona is distant enough that he can recognise the institute is wrong.

•nimona knows the truth about the wall, even saying earlier on ‘so there’s nothing behind the wall’ (that needs protecting from) yet still allows ballister to come to that realisation on his own time. despite the fact it would massively speed up their plan, they let him work it out because that’s what he needs to do. nimona helps, but he knows that this kind of acceptance and essentially the shifting of your worldview is something individual

•’when things go south, i’m breaking stuff.’ ‘that won’t be necessary.’ - another step forward. instead of outright shutting down nimona’s behaviour/instincts, he redirects and somewhat reassured himself more than them that it won’t be needed because he has faith in his boyfriend.

•the painting over of the ‘new era of heroes poster’ - return of classism. the institute, the higher classes, only needed one bad example of a commoner to prove that they’re exactly what they’ve always thought - scum. instead of giving anyone else a chance, they remove any connection to people they consider beneath them at all. if you look at the poster closer, you can see that it’s not even actual commoner children, it’s younger versions of the knights that exist now, most notably ballister at the front and ambrosius directly behind him on the left. it’s false advertising in its most blatant form, they didn’t want to get actual commoner children to pose for a new poster to show the real change, because they don’t want a real change. they wanted to be proven right.

•the director’s very subtle manipulation of ‘you can talk to me.’ - it’s near impossible to see it as manipulation because, despite the reveal she planted the fake sword, she is still within the institute and to ambrosius specifically, a person to trust despite his internal conflict. the director undoubtedly knows he’s torn between ballister and the ‘right thing’ and she wants him firmly on her side. the offhand comment of ‘the blood of gloreth runs through your veins’ solidifies this, it’s a subconscious reminder that he has loyalty to the institute, to her, because of this legacy he didn’t ask for and that if he is going to uphold that it’ll be obvious what he should do.

•ambrosius’ internal breakdown - the buildup to yelling along with everything he says shows the depth of his character. he’s so clearly torn between how he was raised to fill the role of a legacy he never wanted and the institute he’s loyal to and the man he loves, who he chose to love, but ultimately betrayed because of the way he was trained. and to him there is no right option, he either betrays the ones he’s been raised to think are the heroes, or he betrays the one person who sees him as just another person. there’s also that similarity to nimona here. ambrosius recognises in this moment that the institute isn’t quite as perfect as it should be because of how he acted based on the training they gave him, and uses the exact same words of ‘arm-chopping is not a love language’ that nimona uses. because nimona has been aware of the flaws of the institute and the trained behaviour of the humans as a whole, while ambrosius is having a much deeper and more dramatic revelation of this because it’s something personal, he hurt the person he cares about most because of the institute. he can’t see a way out of this without anyone getting hurt, he’s trapped.

•the director literally whispering in ambrosius’ ear like the ‘evil advisor’ trope and then turning that back on nimona with ‘says the miscreant whispering in his ear’ because she is doing everything she can to make sure ambrosius listens to HER, while remaining composed, rather than doing what he feels is right because she knows he’ll turn on her if he knows the full truth. proven further by the way she panicked at the mention of proof.

•additional point about the eye shines - the diamonds are the shape of the pattern all over the director’s outfit . is this a stretch? possibly. but anything goes in media analysis, particularly animation because you gotta be deliberate with that. and with a film this personal to me, anything i say is true.

•ballister’s eye shines in this confrontation are circles btw. just saying. i think ambrosius’ are more rounded rather than full diamonds too in this moment but i won’t lie, it’s too small for me to fully see.

•’who is she, bal? what is she?’ - the breaking point for both of them. ballister refuses to answer because he is defending nimona from people he knows hate them, and that gives ambrosius’ suspicions all the proof he needs to pull his sword on a threat again. any trust ballister still had for him is gone, and he is defeated.

•‘let’s break stuff.’ - the final fucking step let’s GO, it’s the full proof that ballister has accepted nimona as both nimona and her behaviours, he’s gone from denial to preventative to encouraging it. and he takes pride in it now, you can tell from his tone that he wants this as much as nimona does. the entire ‘lets break stuff’ fight scene is again such a joy-sparker. from the music, to the confusion of the knights, to nimona’s manic joy at finally being able to fully express itself with all the freedom he expressed to ballister earlier. the return of the otter question.

•’if it isn’t the golden boy’ - THIS. the one-on-one fight between the boyfriends. ballister using the title he knows ambrosius doesn’t like because ambrosius broke the last bit of faith he had in him. questioning whether he ever meant anything to ambrosius and openly defending nimona being called a monster even when they’re not around to hear it because he truly likes her and wants her to feel safe now. throwing the sword down beside ambrosius’ head with the declaration that ambrosius never knew him, and the knowledge that he genuinely believed ballister was the queen killer despite the fact he was ballister’s biggest supporter.

•also ambrosius’ eye shines are triangles. it’s literally a display of the internal conflict. his loyalty to the director/institute/kingdom is literally cut in half by his conflict in who his alignment is to.

•nimona’s shift into bigger and bigger creatures and even breaking through their restrains - and their conscious choice to both breath cereal rather than fire to prevent destruction and the harm of innocents, and the fact they stop a child being crushed by a car without even thinking because they have NEVER been about attacking people. they have always acted out of defence and self preservation.

•the fact nimona turns into her first child form to comfort the girl she saved. - it’s heartbreaking to me. the form he chose as the one to make her first and only friend being the one they come back to in order to comfort the girl they just saved while the ‘monster attack’ alarm blares in the background. he chose the most defenceless unassuming HUMAN form possible, and the girl still picks up a sword. points it at him, and calls her a monster just like the first time. it’s heartbreaking.

•nimona’s breakdown. - the way they sound so helpless after flipping the table because the anger they felt is truly only heartbreak. the way they’re so angry about how even children are being raised to hate anything different yet they’re the one considered a monster for being inhuman, for wanting a friend. the fact they have suicidal thoughts. because that’s what that is. ‘i don’t know what’s scarier. the fact that everyone wants to run a sword through my heart or that sometimes i just wanna let them.’ that is suicidal thoughts. the lighting of this scene with nimona being under a spotlight in their most vulnerable moment and ballister in the background being shown in that same stream of light because they are both not who people think they are. the way ballister looks at nimona’s confession and his immediate declaration upon hearing they want to let people kill them that they should leave together. and nimona’s hope just upon the word ‘together’ because they have not been anywhere with someone.

•the director openly confessing that she hates and that she framed him because of her own beliefs and systems only to kill ‘ambrosius’ because no one can know the truth. - also the dead giveaway for this not being the real ambrosius is his ‘death’ because we know by now that nimona LOVES overdramatic acting.

•this scene being the first (well second actually, the first being the demon baby) proof that nimona’s pink is a choice. - he shifts to be ambrosius for the plan, and there is no streak of pink in his hair like when nimona was playing ballister in the subway. the pink is entirely a choice on nimona’s part because it’s *fun*, it adds character, its basically a styling thing. and i love that.

•’may gloreth forgive you’ is so COLD. how are you gonna say to gloreth’s direct descendant that you hope she forgives him for his actions and his turning away from the institute knowing the truth about things. knowing exactly why the system that you love is in place. what a bitch.

•the way ballister and nimona have lighthearted banter in the director’s face, which then follows into ballister stepping off the balcony first - nimona follows him after the steps off, but ballister stepped off first and that shows just how much faith he has in him now. i love it.

•the fact that it becomes clear when ambrosius sees ballister’s real sword that the one the director planted is fake. - you can see when the queen hands the sword back, the letter above the hilt is a G (presumably for gloreth, it’s another dig that ballister doesn’t have his own sword, it’s just one the institute handed him because he fights for them). when it lingers on ambrosius looking at the sword and realising the truth, you can see very clearly that the G has been scratched into a B for ballister because he wanted the sword to be his own. i love things like this.

•the fact ballister and nimona are playing a very chaotic monopoly and that ballister lets nimona break the rules and have dramatic fun about it - the way his acceptance is fully shown in the way he just says ‘metal.’ when nimona fully expects him to freak out about the fire.

•CAN A SHARK DANCE. - easily on par with ‘let’s break stuff’ as my top joy-sparking scene, the fact ballister prompts the shift, the way they’re having a dance party, taking selfies, going all out with silly dancing and sunglasses, all while the video wreaks havoc on the status quo in the kingdom because they won

•the way nimona feels safe enough to sleep around ballister - the ‘you’re safe. we’re home’ comment that sends her back to sleep instantly because she genuinely trusts him and believes him when he says they’re safe. the fact that softness is sandwiched between the director holding off her arrest and ambrosius asking to meet up. (and the way ballister still cares enough to mention that there shouldn’t be any olives)

•the director’s defence - a dusty old half rotted scroll that has been in a secret room for A THOUSAND YEARS. something that has been long forgotten by pretty much everyone because it wasn’t necessary or relevant until the director needed it to save her own fucking skin. it’s only half about killing nimona, the other half is about maintaining her power.

•the way ballister is ready to make amends with ambrosius until he says they’re taking down nimona, and he still carries that rooted mistrust that came just before dropping the ‘i love you’ and it brings down all of the safety he built with nimona.

•in that same ‘i love you’ scene - the light again. ambrosius is once again in the single light while ballister stares at him from the darkness. they’re still not on the same side, but this time it’s because that’s how they’re both seeing the moment they’re in.

•ballister ripping down the safety because of one scroll from a thousand years ago. - he rips away the trust, he rips away the safety, he rips away his acceptance of them and he rips away home from nimona. because of a scroll from someone he trusted first that was made by the very people he was actively bringing down a few hours ago.

•the way nimona reacts - the way they egg him into finishing the word he started, that he doesn’t want to say but he almost did. the way they want him to say it because it’ll only confirm that they already believe he never fully accepted them. the way they stop, and ballister’s own face looks shocked, at the fact he started to draw his sword on someone he called a friend. the proof that he broke their trust just like ambrosius broke his because he is still under the institute’s control no matter how much he distances himself from it.

•nimona returning to the well - it’s subconscious, as is the way he reverts back to that entirely human child form. and it turns into the true backstory of how they ran with animals but never fit in, and found the wall and wanted to be with that girl. the way there’s no fear at all as they’re brought into the sunlight and even played with in the village - they’re watched fondly by an adult. because there is nothing monstrous about nimona. they’re a little girl, playing with another little girl. the way there’s no speech, it’s peaceful music and emotion and freedom because there is no need for speech. the fact gloreth’s initial response wasn’t fear but shock because she hadn’t seen something like nimona before. that turned into instant acceptance because it’s cool. the fact the first instance of speech is defence from gloreth, but the second is hate. and that one sentence is enough for gloreth to view nimona differently. the fact nimona only acts with any violence because they’re scared, and the fire in the village is because of the humans own actions. the fact that the famed line from gloreth isn’t a magnificent showdown between woman and monster, but a little girl pointing the sword she played with at her best friend and repeating the hate that the adults taught her.

•this scene is what truly shows that nimona is traumatised - the sight of the well on top of ballister, her friend, ready to draw his sword is what breaks him down. it’s even shown clearly on screen that what we see as a backstory is a genuine flashback to the root of her trauma. it shows us what has made nimona this way and drives the point home that nimona is not a monster.

•the way it fades into the statue of gloreth - the statue that depicts gloreth, pointing the sword at ‘gloreth’s monster’, as a grown woman representing what the people have built her and her story into, while nimona remains in that human child form and it shows exactly what is about to happen. nimona, gloreth’s sword pointing directly at them, vulnerable and broken down and determined to act on what they’ve thought about.

•the fact that nimona’s footsteps shaking the ground cause specifically the mini gloreth statue to fall. there’s symbolism here, figure it out yourselves, it’s obvious isn’t it.

•ambrosius saving a citizen and prioritising their safety over attacking a threat and then being mocked for not being a ‘real knight’ - in reality he is doing what a real knight should do, he is protecting the people from actual danger rather than antagonising something they don’t understand and causing more damage in the process.

•i’ve talked about nimona’s ‘true form’ (as i call it) before (first link). the fact it appears as a hulking creature, something conventionally ‘monstrous’, shadowy and dark. it snarls and growls and roars, it has 10 eyes and is taller than the buildings themselves, it is everything that should be feared. if you call something a monster enough, that’s what it’ll become. but the fires in the city aren’t because of nimona. they’re the city’s own attacks. nimona hasn’t attacked once. there’s damage done, but it isn’t deliberate. even when there’s a knight directly in its face, it only roars because that isn’t why it’s here.

•ballister’s guilt at seeing nimona, both in their true form and being attacked, and recognising that it’s his own fault for driving them away.

•nimona’s first and only direct attack on the city is ripping down a billboard that promotes children killing monsters. because that’s personal.

•ambrosius once again questioning his allegiance and finally proving his true loyalty - the forced acknowledgment that the director knows the damage she will cause at the expense of killing the ‘monster’ but doesn’t care, because she doesn’t care about the people, or the true meaning of protecting the city and it’s people. she cares about killing monsters.

•returning to nimona’s true form as being a huge shadowy creature - it’s clear in the transformation and in these scenes of her walking, the darkness is protecting her. all of the shadows are wrapped around a pure bright light. his heart. it comes back to my earlier point about character design, how nimona’s humanoid form is rounded and soft, despite additional spiky parts and the off-putting demeanour because that’s the truth about them. they’ve only ever been protecting themself. that’s all it’s ever been.

•the repeat of nimona’s ‘sword through my heart’ line from the breakdown. - the fact this whole time they entered the city this way specifically to reach gloreth’s sword and finish what the humans started, what they want. the fact the loss of their only friend in the same way they lost their first drove them to suicide. the way she wails as she bares her heart to the sword before it even touches, because that scream isn’t about a sword through the heart. it’s about the emotional pain. it’s about the way they have no one. the way they have nothing left. the way their friend, their safety, their home, was ruined. it’s the way this is their only way out.

•ballister on the sword - he touches nimona’s heart with his prosthetic hand. the hand he lost to the institute like nimona lost everything. the deepest level of connection built by a shared pain and loss. the fact he looks up at nimona in their true form and doesn’t flinch away, doesn’t fear them, but apologises. says he sees them. that they’re not alone. and he means it. and that nimona comes back to humanoid form, body taking on the injuries the shadows didn’t show, and collapses. not into ballister’s arms, but he catches her anyway. because he’s there for nimona.

•the director’s refusal to listen to reason. the way she growls ‘go back to the shadows from whence you came.’ the director’s whole performance is chilling.

•nimona’s return to their ‘normal’ state upon the truest acceptance from ballister, and the fact they specifically became a phoenix (just like he said at the beginning when ‘planning’ with ballister) to end the director’s plan, and in the process breaks the wall to show that the outside is magnificent.

•the way nimona’s sparkle after dying fade out before it can reach ballister’s hand. that in particular is really special to me. something about how ballister feels guilty still even after nimona has forgiven him and now he can’t reach them. almost a ‘too little too late’ thing, except that’s not true in this case. but ballistae’s chance to truly make things right after it’s all over is gone.

•ballister keeping his original, self made arm after the kingdom’s reconstruction and improvement despite the fact he could definitely have a new one.

•the way the city honours nimona’s sacrifice - the huge wall of tributes and gifts, the art, the flowers, the mural. compared to ballister’s quiet grief in how he’s shown returning to their home and seeing the monopoly game, putting the dog piece back in place, hanging the weapons back up and pulling the curtains down because they don’t need to hide in their home. the way he lights up when he hears the banging on the door because even though nimona only knocked once when they first met, he knows that’s how they knock. and the fact it has a happy ending, even if we probably don’t get a sequel, it’s still so comforting to know that nimona’s choice of a phoenix was for a reason. because they rise from the ashes.

[fromdeepspace-withlove]

Fic idea that I’m posting here because it’s ass-o’clock and my phone’s notes function wasn’t open. This won’t make any sense to anyone sry:

Wanxian (with a side of Jiang Chang and Wen Qing)

- Genius artist and inventor Wei Ying also neurotypical AF because childhood trauma caused him all sorts of issues but also taught him to think in entirely new and inventive ways. His art is a literal insane mishmash of performance, found object collections, activism, and gorgeous weird shit like mini dioramas that are batshit crazy and charming and gorgeous and fantasy maps of hilarious places (I dreamt this and was crying laughing in my dream, I hope I can replicate it)

- college roommates with sheltered but peaceful poetry student Lan Zhan, who at first is shocked that their dorm room has been turned into some sort of bizarro art installation but then meets Wei Ying and has his mind thoroughly blown. THEN he sees his actual giant theme park of an art exhibition and has his mind even more blown.

- Wei Ying is also always backstage hanging out with buddies at a local insanely cool club and music venue, being himself aka the center of everyone’s attention but kinda oblivious and just living his life on his own terms. LWJ happens to go there one night for a poetry slam, and sees Wei Ying walking back stage and has a gay panic about it but still recites the poem he wrote inspired by his feelings for WWX. It’s vague enough so that WWX has no clue but he does have his own mind blown a little.

- Along with being an artist, WWX is also a genius scientist and is helping program an unmanned spacecraft at a science buddy’s request (Huisang maybe?)

- Then shit gets bad. The spacecraft blows up and kills several people in the vicinity, and word leaks out that an unauthorized person who isn’t even a real scientist was involved in the programming. WWX obviously gets blamed. He becomes withdrawn and self isolates, looking more and more unhinged, and by this point, far out of college, Lan Zhan can only worry from a distance because WWX keeps pushing him away.

- The only person WWX really doesn’t push away is Wen Qing’s baby cousin. Because of this, the Wen siblings have to watch him slowly shut down and destroy himself. No longer creating, hardly existing, no longer interested in activism, he’s just given up. He gets daily harassment and death threats from strangers. He goes on a talk show in order to use the chance not to address his own scandal but to bring attention to an actual cause he used to support wholeheartedly. He blows it, basically letting Jiang Cheng, Wen Ning, and Wen Qing do the work while remaining silent.

- Jiang Cheng blows a fuse about him giving up, but Wen Qing and Wen Ning decide to fix him by figuring out what really happened to the spacecraft because they don’t believe WWX would or could fuck that up. They enlist Huisang and investigate. Lan Zhan volunteers too.

- Shocker, it turns out that it was Meng Yao, who then framed WWX by anonymously releasing the story to the press.

- I haven’t figured out the aftermath, and I’m open to ideas

- But basically WWX comes back to himself, gets together with Lan Zhan, and goes back to being an amazing creative genius weirdo. Lan Zhan is just smug about everything. WWX and JC make up and JC and WQ get together (there’s a whole crazy subplot to this that I’m too tired to write now so I hope I remember it but basically she saved his life as a child. And they both were unaware it was the other of that time. JC is currently in a bad relationship and WQ is lowkey in love with WWX but knows she doesn’t have a chance so she promotes him to free didi status.

[asexualaromanticblog]

Before Realising My AroAce Sexuality

I want to make one thing very clear before anyone starts reading. Though I identify as being asexual and aromantic, I can only talk about my own story because it is the only one I really understand. And I know that all of us have a different story. We all walk a different path. We all react differently to the obstacles placed in out way. But I can only talk about myself and how I, and some people I know who are also aro-ace, have been affected by their sexuality. I hope sharing my story, as well as my opinions and advice is of any use to you.

I also want all my readers to feel free about contacting me if they want their story to be published or simply understood, EVEN IF YOU AREN'T AROMANTIC OR ASEXUAL YOURSELVES. I will handle everything which any of you send me with the utmost discretion and to the word referring to your wishes.

I am a British demigirl teenager of 14 years of age who has been living in Spain since the young age of about 4 or 5. I am currently undergoing my freshman year of highschool. The presence of the doubt that I was asexual always dug at the back of my mind, but I liked to think I wasn't. I was SCARED: I didn't want to be lonely for the rest of my life. In fact, I was obsessed with the idea that I would find love eventually.

I realised I didn't like boys or men when I was about 10 or 11 years old. I simply did not feel romantically attracted by them at all. Yes, I found some boys attractive, and some actors too, but I found I was not able to form romantic attractions towards them. What's more, the people who I had previously 'liked' (obvoiusly I was like 11 so never anything truly serious) had always been very good friends of mine. Such close friends that our friendship almost seemed like the celibate and completely nonsexual relationships the popular kids were forming between each other.

I knew that gay people existed. I'd never been against it. From the moment I realised being gay was a THING, I'd supported it, even if I didn't feel that way myself.

So I went and thought: hmmm... I don't like guys. That must mean I like girls. Now, what girl do I like?

So I found a pretty girl, VERY popular (actually, I remember quite clearly her name was Inés). And I decided I had a crush on her.

Then, 7th grade, I changed schools. And I lost contact with all my friends (including Inés). I found a girl, a Russian called Maria, and decided I liked her. We dated, some months later. But we never DID anything. Max was holding hands or kissing each others cheeks. Then we broke up on rather bad terms., Even now, almost a year and a half later, we don't talk. I was in the same room as her for 15 mins and has an anxiety attack. I must admit, I hold a massive amount of trauma from that relationship still.

I had never made out with anyone and never really felt the need to, even though by 8th grade most of my friends had. I felt like I fancied another of my friends, Sarah, but when I confessed my feelings I got rejected. I was not too sore about it, surprisingly. I felt more like my pride was hurt than that my heart was broken.

And then, something magical happened.

In June of 2023, at 14 years of age, I watched Heartstopper in a day with a friend.

I fell in love with it.

And then, on the 3rd of August, when season 2 was released, I watched the entirety of it at night on my phone. And that was when I discovered asexuality.

More later!

Subscribe if you want more!

[odinsblog]

This stinks to high heaven, or Jannah, or Valhalla, or whatever makes you happy

My big sister is gay. I was the first person she came out to when we were kids, not quite 20 yet. I care deeply about her. And as I matured + unlearned much of my ingrained adolescent homophobia, with my sister’s help, I have come to care deeply about the LGBTQ community. Even the white ones, and all the other non-Black ones too

I’m trying really hard to imagine hearing about something like the Pulse nightclub shooting and somehow not caring about some of the non-Black victims because they might not have shared my exact political beliefs. I can’t. I can’t imagine not caring. Not caring because of something so trivial by comparison of being murdered by a crazy person in cold blood.

Look, I guess at some point either you care about people or you don’t. And if you’re able to turn off who you feel sorrow for based on their race, religion or ideology, then I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know how to relate to you.

I’ve been trying not to post too TOO much about some specifics of what’s happening in Palestine and Israel, but I’m sorry: I feel bad for the innocent children and civilians who were murdered in cold blood in Israel. I know that the “any means” tankies crowd wants everyone to ignore their deaths (or worse celebrate their deaths), but I guess I’m not built that way.

Some of those people murdered at the concert, for example, were not only innocent civilians, but they were also pro-Palestinian activists who spent their time working for peace. I shed tears hearing their family members talking about them. Hamas murdered Holocaust survivors, ffs.

I absolutely can understand Jewish people feeling uneasy right now. They lost a ton of noncombatant civilians —not to mention children. And oh yeah, antisemitism has been at an all time high, unfortunately, just like Islamophobia is about to be. Again.

I might be wrong, but I honestly just do not think that Hamas did Palestinians any favors.

Yes, yes, I dO understand that violence is always a necessary part of freedom and decolonization.

“Nobody in the world, nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them.” —Assata Shakur

So I’m a big podcast listener (helps occupy my mind whenever I’m working on long tedious projects), and I was listening to one where they interviewed a Jewish soldier who was recently activated, but he was out of Israel and had to fly back. He said something like, “If they had only attacked military targets, then I would get it. We got caught with our pants down, and all is fair in love and war, right? But the mass slaughter of civilian families, women and children is the reason I’m going back.”

I wanted to reach through my phone and ask him about Israel preparing to do exactly the same thing to Palestinians in retaliation, but alas I guess I just sounded like a crazy person yelling to himself in my office.

And yeah, before you read too much further, please understand that I dO support the fuck outta Palestine. Let me be unequivocal here: Israel is in the wrong. Israel has oppressed Palestinians for decades. For actual generations.

Remember when Israel literally bulldozed over a woman to build more houses in Gaza?

Yeah, seriously heinous shit, right?

And we don’t actually have a solid count for all the innocent murdered Palestinian civilians who were living in apartment buildings that Israel has been bombing to smithereens for the past few days. I understand that Israel and the West would have us believe that everyone in Gaza is a terrorist and nobody is an innocent civilian, but hopefully, if you’re reading this, YOU know better than that.

But that said ….. I cannot get with tankies—who, safe and sound in their homes, not being perpetually bombed—want to sound “hard” on social media, and make no distinctions with the people who were just minding their own fucking business at a goddamn concert. I think about all of the mass shootings in America (movie theaters, grocery stores, night clubs, concerts, schools, office buildings, etc) and I just cannot imagine justifying or excusing ANY of them because of the shooter’s “ideology.” I know it’s not an apples-to-apples comparison, but it’s close enough.

“If they were on colonized land then they deserved to die” is one hell of a fucked up take. The slippery slope is that if any of our loved ones are gunned down by “freedom fighters,” then we should just be happy for “the cause” and not shed any tears, because ALL of us deserve to die in America and other Western countries, because we’re all living on colonized land.

I cannot even begin to explain how flawed and fucked up that so-called reasoning is.

You have to have some fucking lines and boundaries.

We don’t just do a shoulder shrug when children are murdered in cold blood—and no, I’m not talking about the 40 babies allegedly beheaded, I’m just talking about the little toddlers who were shot through walls and died, and the elderly and disabled who were shown being dragged away. Yeah, I feel sorry for them too. And I won’t apologize for that.

Rape is wrong. All the time. Under all circumstances. Even when it’s happening to people who you don’t like.

Murdering children is wrong. All the time. Under all circumstances. Even when it’s the children of people who you don’t like.

Do I really need to spell this shit out? JFC.

If you don’t care about any of this because you’re “down for the cause,” then you. are. lost. Like really and truly lost. You aren’t a radical. You’re a fanatic. And hopefully you won’t be in a position to ever receive the fanatical Karma that you’re asking for.

Anyway…

I am on the side of Palestine in all of this. They never deserved to be oppressed by Israel or anyone.

Innocent Palestinian women and children are dying as you’re reading this. I’m shedding tears for them too. They’ve been going through this for way too long. That fact alone is beyond being a tragedy.

Palestine has already suffered and will suffer 10 times more than all of the civilians and noncombatants who were tragically murdered in Kfar Aza.

As always, my usual reminders:

The Holocaust happened

Antisemitism is real

Hamas ≠ Palestine

Israel is an apartheid state

Collective punishment is a war crime

Benjamin Netanyahu is a war criminal

You can support Palestine without being antisemitic

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

[spritehouse]

TW: abuse, self harm, drug addiction (all mentioned)

Spencer is not part of the bau but is connected to one of the members in some way, he was severely abused as a child by his father and neglected by his mother (accidentally) and ends up developing such bad ptsd, and anxiety that he is not able to live without a caretaker because he will not eat and is at considerable risk for hurting himself or doing drugs, he also has developed schizophrenia but it’s not that big of an issue for him because of medication and because his hallucinations are mostly not harmful, just random. His caregiver and girlfriend is meave who works in the same collage (maybe cal-tec) as he does as a professor and scientist, Spencer is also a professor who works part time in a lab and the collage they work at is very accommodating of his disability’s. The fic would be the team meeting and learning about Spencer and him getting a support system as well as a family from them as well as meave

yes. god, yes please. id eat a fic like this for dinner omg

only thing i'd change is making luke spencer's caretaker because i'm sick in the head and obsessed with gay people in my phone (also.. not a maeve lover)

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

Live blogging my tech rehearsal bc I’m bored-

Oh never mind they aren’t letting me do lights I just have to sit here until 5 listening to mostly bad actors :(

Yippee using my call sign with the tech director lmao

Oh no someone just asked me how I was and I have too many pretzels in my mouth to respond they have to die now

I miss my bfs :((( (<- reoccurring thought all the time <33)

!!!!!!!!! 💚💕💚💕💚💕💚💕💕 (got a text from one of said partners)

Starting ‘show’ !! Finally !!! After 30 mins of nothing !!

I’m so bored and I don’t want my stale pretzels anymore :((

Dear lord who leaked my phone number bc I’m getting so many spam calls

Man I’m really tired

Oops I forgot to use the call signs my bad </3

NEW TECH MEMBER !!!!! (Very good, very exciting :)) hope they’re normal about gay people (im so very blatantly gay in the booth sorry not sorry)

30 more minutes I can do this hopefully

No school tomorrow I might actually sleep in hmmm maybe

Awwwwwh :(( I don’t get to see people for 4 days :(((

Going grocery shopping after this !!! (not fun cuz I’m tired, fun cuz I like grocery shopping :))

The point of doing tech early this year was so that I could get some lights done early but I’ve only been allowed to do 3 cues ://

Actually having new tech members stresses me out never mind lmao can me and my gf work in peace :( (we need people </33)

Excited for show despite how everything is going currently bc I get to see peopleeee <333

15 mins !!!! Lets go almost done fuckkkk yes please let me out of here

Ough weird lights problems boooo

LEAVING YAYYYY

[ramspatula]

Arrowheads | Nya Smith x fem! reader | Part 4

Was it wrong to want more?

Previous part, Masterlist, Next Part

They say the best writers are the most experienced. I disagree. Artists have gone on to win awards for their lyricism without anyone having a clue that it was me who wrote their lyrics. And in terms of my experience, I have none. In anything. In anything except rotting in my room and living in fear of things that would probably never happen to me. No one liked those lyrics. They were too personal and too complex for someone to take and somehow connect with. How does an artist who performs in front of thousands of people connect with lyrics that speak of forever living in a shadow and hoping the shadow will never move. How do artists that hope to progress their careers further and further connect with lyrics that talk of never wanting to move, to change, to experience anything new because the chances of something bad happening are low, but never 0. And somehow that number close to zero seems like a 89% chance in your mind. How many people relate to not moving from one corner in the house because it’s the only corner no one can see you from the window and if the door opens, it will be the last corner someone would look in? Not many I found.

People love depressing lyrics. People love lyrics that talk about heartbreak and longing. People love lyrics about unrequited love. People love lyrics about anxiety but not the kind of anxiety that prevents you from living. Paranoia is a quirky word in lyrics, not as severe. Not as scary. Apparently I’m scared to go outside because bad things happen paranoia is better than I’m scared to go outside because my mind makes me think I hear shit that I don’t paranoia. People love lyrics about anxiety and paranoia when it relates to situationships. People love situationship lyrics. People love gay lyrics and bi anthems but seem to push aside lesbian anthems and still somehow relate them to men. I write lyrics I love and no one wants them. I write lyrics that are good but I have no connection to and- and what the fuck rhymes with cinnamon?!

“You’ve got one hell of a frown on you, Nibbles.” Her voice wasn’t loud in the dark of the room but it still made me jump. She shifted in the bed to rest her head on her arm and look up at me.

“What rhymes with cinnamon?” I whispered and I shone my phone brightness in her face to see her expression. She squinted her eyes and creased her brows at the harsh light… she hadn’t been awake for long then.

“Wha- are you working?! Baby, it’s 4am.” She exclaimed softly, eyes still shut because of the light.

“Ever since Chappell Roan got tiktokified, half my clients are suddenly lesbians!” I told her and I saw the corner of her lips lift up in half a grin.

“Chappell Roan?” Nya asked and I rolled my eyes.

“Yes! It’s not even June!” I told her and she lifted her head up and dropped it onto my stomach and then threw her arm over my lower stomach.

“Is she like- anything I listen to?” Nya asked and I rolled my eyes.

“Like 90s hip hop and a random post Malone song? No.” I told her and she sighed.

“I should’ve never shared my playlist with you.” Nya murmured and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah that ‘I listen to everything’ was a lie… you couldn’t even recognise summertime sadness until the main chorus.” I told her and it was silent for a moment before all I heard was little snores. She had fallen asleep again. I poked her side and she flinched awake.

“-‘m awake!” She said, looking up at me through droopy eyes.

“I’ll finish this and then go to sleep.” I told her and she nodded, lying face first in my stomach.

“I knew letting you have that redbull was a bad idea.” Nya told me and I grinned.

“You said you weren’t going to go fast.” I told her.

“I thought a kiss was a good enough apology…” she yawned and I smiled as she laid straight back down on my stomach. “… then you saw my last redbull in the mini fridge.” Nya finished and I ran a hand through her hair. The hair tie had fell out and now the back of her hair was loose.

“That ‘mini fridge’ is bigger than the fridge in my apartment… also who needs a mini fridge in their garage?” I asked and she nuzzled just above my belly button with her nose as she tried to get more comfortable.

“Your girlfriend… and your big backed brother.” She added and I laughed, the smile on my face etching all the way to my cheeks.

“…I’m your girlfriend?” I asked, a little hushed.

“I might ask you to be if you let me go back to sleep.” Nya told me and I grinned.

“That’s one way to get me to sleep.” I told her and she shrugged. I shuffled down the bed until my head hit the pillow and Nya laid down again with an arm thrown over my waist and her head coming to settle on my shoulder. My eyes closed as I felt them her heavier and heavier.

“Discipline rhymes with cinnamon.” Nya suddenly said and my eyes shot open.

“Oh my-“

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

When I woke up I was alone and a bit confused until I remembered the events of the day before and earlier in the morning. Then I checked my phone and saw that I had slept until mid afternoon. I chucked my phone away and turned to notice that a post it note had been placed underneath my phone.

‘Training all day :( - Blame Lloyd.’

‘- p.s cinnamon rhymes with discipline’

I smiled at the note and placed it back where I found it. I stretched and revelled in the pop of my back before heading to Nya’s bathroom to brush my teeth. It had been a long night. I had spent most of it working whilst Nya snored either on my arm or whatever part of my body she decided to find comfort on. After a night of being her pillow, I was feeling ready to do it again and again. This was a much better outcome than rotting in my apartment like I would’ve been right now if not for Nya’s confession yesterday. This was much better than stewing in my own mind and regretting every decision I’d ever made and hating myself for it. This life was so much- happier. I somehow felt free, like the things lurking away in my mind couldn’t get to me. Like nothing could and- why the fuck is Peach behind me?!

“Oh! Lloyd thought he had heard you earlier.” Peach stated like it was normal she appeared out of nowhere.

“I- uhm. I didn’t hear you come in.” I told her and she grinned.

“That’s because I didn’t use the door.” She told me and grabbed something off Nya’s dresser. “I feel like I’m always doing errands for them… I’m glad you came back, though! I’m not sure how much longer I could deal with my shower not working or throwing water at me.” She told me before disappearing- no glitching away.

Note to self: remember how weird the ninja are.

I dressed myself, very quickly know that that I knew someone could just appear at any moment, and then ventured out into the monastery. I took it all in again. It was only a little more than a day ago I had left and about 12 hours since I returned but when you’re hand in hand with the woman of your dreams, you don’t tend to notice much else. And the fact it was dark and we were trying to silently and quickly make our way back didn’t give didn’t help either. I had forgot how homely the monastery felt despite being millennia years old. There were ancient artifacts, tapestries, paintings and murals decorated all around but despite being in heavy contrast, there was also many photos of the ninja around and previous generations of elemental masters. A particularly large mural of the final battle sat on one wall, it detailed Lloyd’s golden gi perfectly and the overlord looked as menacing as he had in real time. Opposite to it sat another mural, it was of a large dragon and the back of a woman’s body as she glowed and it took me a moment to realise it was Peach yet I didn’t know what the mural was of. The entire hall of the bedrooms was painted with special moments or more accurately murals. Nya’s was my favourite although I didn’t understand it. I never really kept up with the ninja. Cole and my Dad both told me that it would only bring me more dread and thinking back to it- that makes sense. They were trying to cover Cole’s secret life. I wonder if Dad even knows that I know?

“Papita, you’ve been standing still for 5 minutes now. Is everything okay?” I turned to see Snowdrops, the code ran down her body like usual but apart from her obvious holographic life form, she almost looked completely real. Her voice was automatically soothing and calm, the tone soft and no rough edges to her voice. She almost didn’t sound like a robot.

“Yeah!” I snapped out of my distracted state and she smiled. “I- what are these?” I asked, more to try and cover up the fact I had been caught staring at a wall for minutes on end.

“Murals, painted by the monks… they are to commemorate the ninjas biggest moments. They each symbolises the most prolific moment of each ninja’s life.” Snowdrop said and I nodded.

“So there’s a story behind all of them?” I asked and she nodded.

“I’d recommend not asking the ninja personally.” Snowdrops said and I frowned. “Each of these moments may signify something great but it does not account for the emotional toll they had… For example, Lloyd’s is of the final battle. He had to fight his father possessed by the overlord to cure him of his evil. His father is now evil again and disowned him… he calls it pointless now.” Snowdrops said and my eyes widened.

“Nya’s doesn’t have some awful thing attached to it that I should know about, right?” I asked and Snowdrops smiled.

“Nya’s mural shows that she is more than the water ninja, she is also- well was, Samurai X. It is important for Nya to show that she does not just follow her brother’s footsteps, she is her own person.” Snowdrops said and I frowned.

“How could she be both?” I asked and Snowdrops smiled.

“Nya was Samurai X before she was the water ninja. And she saved the ninja more times than they’d like to admit.” She told me and I grinned.

“Overachiever…” I shook my head before turning to the other murals. “I don’t get Peach’s and Pearl’s.” I said and Snowdrops sent me a look.

“That’s not our story to tell.” Snowdrops said and I stayed silent for a moment before she smiled.

“I was an abandoned programme.” She said and my eyes widened. “Known as Galanthus Nivalis. I met Zane when his programme became lost too and years later after he had found himself again, he found me and repurposed me. He gave me another chance to live again and I love him for it.” She told me and I smiled.

“That’s really nice.” I told her and she nodded.

“I’m sure yours and Nya’s story will be one to tell too…” Snowdrops said before gasping. “Speaking of the ninja, Lloyd’s making them stand on their hands for another half an hour because Kai made a fart joke.” She said before disappearing. I laughed in shock before continuing my walk to the kitchen.

“I hate him. I hate him so much.” I heard Learl curse, she sounded out of breath. “Why would you marry a man like that?!” She questioned, loudly and angrily.

“He made you do a plank, he’s not the overlord himself.” I heard Peach tell her.

“After that training session, if I were you, I would leave him and become a lesbian!” Pearl told her and I saw Peach roll her eyes.

“Women are better. I would know.” I said and they both spun towards me. Pearl’s face, surprisingly, lit up.

“Y/n! Thank the spinjitsu master himself! I can take a bath without drowning again!” Pearl cheered. I laughed as a familiar figure approached me. I let Cherry hug me before she stood back and took in my appearance.

“Wow, lesbians really do have a glow.” She said and I smiled. “However, that could be oily skin or- did you start doing skincare?!” Cherry asked and I rolled my eyes, pushing her away.

“Nice to see you too.” I said and she smiled.

“Tell us everything. How did she do it- No! Tell us tonight. We’ll kick out the boys and the masc and have a night of our own.” Cherry said and I laughed and she dragged me further into the room.

“Oh shit, it’s gonna be like Pearl’s bachelorette again.” Peach said and Pearl sent her a look.

“We are not going that far- never again.” Pearl told her and Peach grinned before looking at me.

“Of course, Papita doesn’t have the metabolism and Cherry is already a seasoned veteran.” Peach said and Cherry shrugged.

“How do you know anything even happened?” I asked and Pearl deadpanned.

“My bath turned into a tsunami yesterday.” Pearl told me.

“My shower turned off and then when it came back on it shot me across the room.” Peach told me.

“I went to wash my face and the tap shot out water so hard that it broke my sink.” Cherry added and I looked between them, sheepishly.

“Sorry.” I said and Cherry shook her head.

“Don’t be sorry, we’ve all had our moments.” She said and Pearl nodded.

“Plus, it’s been fun watching you and Nya dance around each other.” Pearl said and my eyes widened.

“We were obvious?” I asked and Peach laughed.

“You had Lloyd feeling like he’s the relationship connoisseur.” Peach told me and I frowned. I still didn’t know Lloyd well enough to know if she was calling him oblivious or not.

“Telling Cole is going to be hard though, he won’t react well.” Pearl said and my heart stopped.

How in all of this did I forget my own brother?! Of course he wouldn’t react well, it’s Cole! When has he ever not over-reacted to me?! When has ever been sensible about something? That man reacts to shock how gasoline reacts towards a spark. How could I of been so struck by Nya that I forgot that I was messing with my brother’s teammate. I was potentially severing a relationship and breaking trust between people who needed it most in order to operate together and save the world! What the fuck was wrong with me?!

“Oh that was not the right thing to say at all.” Pearl said and turned to Peach helplessly. I could feel my chest start rising rapidly, it felt tight. My whole body did. My head felt too big. My neck felt too weak, like it couldn’t support my head anymore. My eyes felt too wide and suddenly dry.

“Papita… Y/n?” I heard someone ask and I felt a hand sliding onto my chest. My heart felt like it was banging against my rib cage. “Hey.” I turned to looked up at the voice, it was my own brother. Who had done so much for me and I, uninvited, came into his life and was about to make it a mess. What had I ever done for him?! “Hey. Breathe. You’re okay. You’re safe.” Cole told me and I shook my head.

“What’s going on?” I heard someone else asked but I didn’t look at them.

“Hey! It’s okay.” He said, sternly but soft. “Try steadying out your breathing a little, like mine! Okay?” He asked and I nodded but I couldn’t stop thinking about what I was doing. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m sorry.” I said and he shook his head.

“What happened? I thought you were going home?” Cole said and I shook my head.

“Not anymore.” I said and his brows furrowed.

“What happened, Y/n? It’s not like you to be so impulsive.” He asked, so softly it made me want to cry. I was an awful person.

“Y/n?!” That was Nya. I knew her voice well. I had it on repeat like a record in my head for the past few weeks. “Hey, what’s going on?” She asked, a hand coming to rest on my arm. She tilted her head down to mine and I leaned towards her. I shook my head and she frowned.

“Not- not now. I told her and Nya frowned.

“What do you mean?” She asked and I looked between her and Cole. “Did you do something?” She asked, tone accusing and my eyes widened.

“Me?!” Cole said, eyes widening in shock.

“I don’t know, you came in here all twisted yesterday after dropping her off. It’s not that out the box to ask if maybe something happened just now.” Nya said and I shook my head frantically.

“You know for someone so emotionally unavailable, you sure like to pry around my sister.” Cole said and Pearl tapped his arm.

“C’mon big guy, let it go.” She told him, stern eyes and I looked at her thankfully but it was no use in the end.

“Pry?!” Nya exclaimed. I saw Kai stalk around the two, his eyes were wary as he watched the two.

“Yes! Pry!” Cole told her and I saw Jay come and stand by Kai, his brows were knitted in confusion but his eyes were as focused, almost wary too. “What else would you call it? She comes here, it’s like fresh meat! You find out she’s into girls and then that’s it! You’re giving her nicknames and giving each other eyes. She’s not your guinea pig, Nya! Go find some other girl to fuck and leave my sister alone.” Cole told her and I gasped, Pearl took a step back, eyes wide as she looked between the too.

“Papita, come here.” Kai said, not looking at me but reaching forward with his arms open.

“You know what?! Fuck you, Cole!” Nya said and she took a step forward, almost closing me in between the two. Cherry’s eyes urged me to jump forward towards her boyfriend but when I went to take a step forward Nya grabbed me. “If I wanted to fuck her, I would’ve but I’m not like you.” Nya told him and my eyes widened.

“Get the fuck off her.” Cole seethed, I felt my panic grow.

“Why? She’s not a kid. She doesn’t need your permission to do shit. What we do, has got nothing to do with you.” Nya told him and Cole tilted his head.

“You really want to do this?” Kai asked and Nya smirked.

“Do what?” She asked and let go of me, Kai reached forward and pulled me towards him and Jay before I could even register what was happening. “I’m not afraid of him. And I’m sure as hell not going to leave Y/n alone. No matter what he thinks. And what exactly would a brother who hides his life and doesn’t see his sister for years have to think about her life? Do you even know her anymore?” Nya asked him and Cole took a step forward.

“What the fuck would you know about being in my position? Your brother made sure you were practically spoon fed your whole life and he gave up his childhood to do so. If you weren’t kidnapped by the skeleton army, I guaranteed he wouldn’t have told you either- you know why? To keep you safe.” Cole gritted out and Nya practically scowled at him

“Spoon fed?! At least you actually got to know your parents!” Nya said and Cole laughed.

“They’re a call away! Call them! Maybe then you’d know them! I can’t call my mom! She’s actually dead! And here you are trying to ruin the last thing she ever gave me!” Cole called out and I felt my heart tighten.

“You’re a fucking asshole!” Nya told him.

“And you’re a sly bitch! Who likes to sniff around my sister!” He called out and I gasped out of shock when Nya clocked him in the jaw with her fist faster than I could register what had happened. “Oh you’re so on.” Cole seethed before shoving her back.

“Not in the kitchen!” Jay yelled, uselessly as Nya kicked Cole in the stomach sending the man stumbling back a little.

“Lloyd!” Kai yelled as he let go of me and walked up the two.

“Fuck off, Kai!” Cole yelled as he went to charge towards Nya again.

A burst green made all of us fall back and a mop of blonde appeared between the two. The green energy slowly dissipated around his hands and he looked disappointedly between the two on the floor, who groaned and held their heads.

“If only you put that much effort into training.” Lloyd told them, hands on his hips. “Is someone going to tell me what this is about?” He asked and Jay, unceremoniously, pointed at me. Lloyd frowned.

“Nya’s a bitch.” Cole said from where he lay on the ground with a hand over his forehead.

“Cole’s a dick.” Nya retorted.

“Maybe I should’ve just left.” I murmured and Jay patted my shoulder with pity.

“Don’t feel bad. We’re very temperamental, this happens at least once a week.” He told me and I looked at him with wide eyes. “But it’s usually in training and not about our partners! So you won’t usually have to see it.” Jay added, looking a bit sheepish and nervous and I nodded.

“Let’s get you out of here.” Peach said, rescuing me from the scene before us.

She took me to her and Lloyd’s room which was notably bigger than any of the other bedrooms I had seen. She directed me towards the end of the bed and sat next to me. Peach pulled her sleeve up and wiped some tears of my cheek that I hadn’t even noticed had fell.

“It’s a lot, I know.” She said and I sniffed.

“It’s my fault.” I said and she shook her head.

“They really do fight a lot. If not you, they would’ve picked something else to fight over soon enough.” Peach said and I looked up at her.

“I don’t know if I can deal with that.” I said honestly and she smiled sadly before looking down.

“I died not too long ago and I came back almost as quick as I died. My skin was ripped apart and then was sewn back together. And all I thought about was Lloyd. How I missed him. How I loved him so much that I had began living just for him.” She said and I looked at her with wide eyes. “What I’m trying to say is a really dramatic version of we go through all sorts of things for love. And what this monastery holds is a lot of people with a lot of love. Your brother loves you immensely and he also loves the rest of his teammates. He’s protective over the both of you and he’s seen you both hurt. He’s afraid that he can’t protect you from hurting each other. Nya is hurt that Cole doesn’t think she can protect herself or you.” Peach explained and I felt another tear slip.

“How do you know this?” I asked and she smiled.

“I’ve spent way too long around these ninja.” She said and I let out a dry laugh. “And they’re ridiculously loud for people whose footsteps don’t even have sound!” She said and I grinned. “Living with this many people will drive you up the walls. Are you sure you want to stay?” Peach asked, eyes wide before settling as she laughed and I joined her.

“I’m sure.” I said and she smiled.

“It gets easier and bigger. Just wait until Jay’s girl that he thinks we have no idea bout moves in.” She told me and I smiled before the door opened and Lloyd walked in.

“Who got turned into a baby, disappeared for a year, and made me team leader?” Lloyd asked, making a reference I didn’t understand but Peach laughed.

“All sorted?” She asked and he nodded.

“I’m making them both meditate and then come and apologise when they’re ready.” He said and I frowned.

“It sounds like a time out.” I said and Lloyd chuckled.

“That’s exactly what it is.” He told me. ��They act like it was their childhood that was ripped away.” He added and I frowned.

“Lloyd was aged up by a tea in order to stop the grundle. An ancient dinosaur thing.” Peach elaborated and my jaw dropped.

“What?!” I asked and she nodded.

“Big thing, horrible breath.” He confirmed. “Worse than Jay’s and that’s hard to beat.” Lloyd added and I smiled. “How Nya dealt with that, I don’t know.”

“Probably what made her realise.” Peach said and I grinned alongside her. “That’ll be fun to think about when she’s apologising.” She said and I frowned.

“I don’t think Cole will respond well.” I said, honestly and Peach smile as Lloyd chuckled.

“They’re not apologising to each other, they’re apologising to you.” Lloyd said and I frowned.

“Me?” I asked and they nodded.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

How do I accept apologies? Why would they even apologise to me? It’s my fault! If I hadn’t got with Nya behind Cole’s back then none of this would’ve mattered! I see one beautiful woman and jump at her without a care… how pathetic.

The door creaked slightly as Nya opened the door to her own room where I sat on her bed… waiting for her. I’m pretty sure I looked like I was waiting to be told off or grounded. I felt like I was waiting for that, not an apology.

Nya took one look at me and sighed before rubbing her hands together nervously. I frowned as she stared down on the floor and hesitated to come in any further. I stared at her blanky as I waited for her to do something.

“I don’t even know where to start…” Nya said and I felt myself begin to sweat. “Probably with I’m sorry.” Nya finished and I nodded. Peach said just to nod and let them explain themselves before blindly accepting the apology. “I shouldn’t have let Cole get to me. It’s just when he accused me of- of using you! I just- lost it. And I’m sorry.” Nya said and I nodded again.

“It was scary.” I admitted and she looked even more kicked down. Should I of not said that? Oh no.

“I know, I shouldn’t have put you in the middle and I should’ve spoke to Cole elsewhere… I’m not going to pretend I’m not hot-headed. I suppose living with men my whole life caused me to have some testosterone rush or something.” she joked and I smiled. “Sorry I didn’t let you know sooner.” She sat next to me on the bed and I leaned on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, it’s my fault really.” I said and she frowned before pulling away and looking at me strangely.

“How is it your fault?” She asked and I shrugged.

“I technically did go behind his back and then I put you right in the middle of it.” I said and Nya stared at me confused.

“I don’t think we could’ve been anymore in his face about it.” She told me and I shook my head.

“It doesn’t matter how obvious we were, I came unannounced, messed with his team and then left just as abruptly. He should’ve took it out on me, not you and Cole doesn’t even need to apologise to me, I need to apologise to him.” Nya closed her eyes for a moment before taking a breath. I stared at her the whole time.

“Nibbles, listen to me.” Nya said before opening her eyes again. “Cole is a dick. You’re a full grown adult. You don’t need his permission for anything! Our team brawls over anything! Last week, I watched Kai give Jay a black eye over the last slice of pizza.” Nya said and I frowned.

“Why didn’t you buy more pizza?” I asked and she laughed.

“You’re not in the wrong.” She told me before kissing my head and bringing me into a hug. “I’ve got patrol later, I’ll bring you some noodles back.” Nya told me and I shook head.

“It’s okay, we’re having girls night.” I said and Nya took a deep breath.

“Good luck.” Nya said and I frowned.

“How did you know you weren’t invited?” I asked and she smirked.

“Cherry once bought me boxers… she didn’t say it but I knew it was her way of saying she thought of me as a man now.” Nya said and I deadpanned. “It was the biggest compliment she’s ever given me.” Nya said and I frowned.

“Being called a man?” I asked and she flexed her biceps at me.

“You think a little girl could handle these?”

“I don’t know… I bet I could.” I said and her face dropped.

“Oh- wow-! I didn’t mean that but-“ I smiled I shooed her away.

“Get ready for patrol, weirdo.” I told her and she grinned, leant down and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “You’re already in trouble with Lloyd, do you really want to push your luck further.

“Be back as soon as I can, weirdo.” Nya told me and I grinned wider as she stepped back and took off her t-shirt, leaving her in just her bra.

I felt my cheeks warm.

“Think you can handle these?” She asked, dragging a hand over her abs. “I’m supposed to wear an undershirt with my gi, but just for you… I might go without.” Nya winked before taking a step closer to me.

“Really?” I asked and she nodded, taking another step closer.

“Oh yeah,” she took another step closer and leaned down, “in fact, my gi has so many straps and buckles on that if I hadn’t put on the damn thing hundreds of times, it would take me forever.” Nya whispered. “I’ll show you just how tricky it can be.” She continued, leaning closer to my ear, the arms resting either side of me, letting her stay in this position over me, trapping me in her embrace. “All the ins and outs of such a thing.” Nya finished, resting her forehead against mine.

“And where is your gi?” I asked, hushed, almost a whisper before swallowing nervously. My previous confidence disappearing.

“You want me to show you?” She asked. “Just how easily I can tie it up and make it come undone again?” Nya asked, and I took a deep intake of breath before nodding.

“Yes… show me.” I almost pleaded, it was a little pathetic. And hella gay.

“I’ll show you.” Nya whispered, it was a promise. I felt the truth in the words as her lips pressed against mine. She now stood firmly between my legs where I was sat on the end of the bed.

The kiss began to heat up and I felt myself being pushed back and down against the bed, with her on top of me. One of her knees came up and pushed mine up as it came to rest under my thigh. I was so open to her. I was like a box with no key, no code to open it. I was an adult. I was a woman. And no one knew better how to please a woman’s body than one who already owns one. I was grown. I deserved to feel it too. I deserved this heat, this desire and this feeling of being desired. I deserved to live. To breathe the same air as everyone else. I didn’t need to be afraid with her. There was nothing that could hurt me with her. She could never hurt me, only give me so much more than I could ever think of. Without her I was shell and she opened me up like I was an oyster with a pretty pearl inside. Like there wasn’t just darkness and fear inside of me, there was a pretty jewel to be admired and adored. She made me feel like that. And I never wanted her to stop making me feel like that.

And just like that, her lips released mine and I panted against the bed as she smirked above me.

“You’re gorgeous, buttons.” She told me, her breath uneven. “And as much as I love seeing you all splayed out on my bed for me, you’re lying on my gi.” Nya said and I snapped back to reality, I sat up quickly and she snatched her gi away. “It’s like you said, I can’t upset the boss. I’m already in trouble…” she whispered, leaving one last peck on my forehead before moving to the bathroom to get changed.

If she wasn’t so hot, I’d call her an idiot.

Then it hit me- did we almost-?!

Did she want to do… that?!

How?!

When?!

Why?!

Who could I go to talk about this?! Who do I know that has done it before? Who could I go to ask about this kind of stuff?!

This all seemed so much daunting than before. Now that I knew what I was going to talk about. I mean, the girls weren’t virgins right? They could help me out? Maybe tell me everything to expect! Would they make fun of me for not losing it yet? I mean they already knew right? Was it embarrassing to ask? Would they mind? How comfortable were they talking about this?

“Woah, Papita! You look like you’re about to pass out.” Pearl said, cracking open a fresh bottle of wine. This was so going to be embarrassing.

“Seriously, what’s on your mind?” Peach asked and suddenly this felt less embarrassing.

“I bet it’s Nya.” Cherry said and once again, it felt very embarrassing.

“I think Nya wants to have sex.” I blurted and they seemed unfazed.

“You haven’t already done it?” Pearl asked and now this felt so much more embarrassing.

“No…” I admitted, shamefully and Cherry and Pearl awed?!

“Ignore them.” Peach told me. “Do you want to have sex?” She asked and I nodded.

“I think I’m ready.” I said and she gave me a look.

“Think and know are two different things.” She told me. “It’s your first time right?” Peach asked and I nodded. “So it’s still scary?” She asked and I nodded. “Okay, now these two are up to speed, talk to us.” Peach told me and I smiled.

“I know it works differently for same sex couples compared to heterosexual couples and that-“ I tried to explain but they shook their heads.

“Not that different.” Pearl told me. “Sure you may cum a little more with a woman but men can do all the same things… a little more recklessly but they are able to do it. I’m sure we can still help you out, girl. Hey! It’ll be like our first sister talk!” Pearl said and my eyes widened.

Pearl is my brother’s wife! My brother who totally freaked out about me even dating!

“Do you want to tell us what you’re nervous about?” Peach asked and I nodded.

“How does it… work?” I said and Peach frowned. “I mean- how do you know who does what?” I asked and she nodded.

“Well, you talk about it.” She told me and I looked to the others who nodded. “For instance, mine and Lloyd’s first time, we were both inexperienced and we taught each other how to do what we liked.” She explained and I nodded.

“And he was okay with that?” I asked and Peach nodded.

“More than okay if you really want to know.” I didn’t but I thanked her either way.

This is it… me and Nya were going to have sex. And I’m ready… I think.

Volume: ■■■■■□□□

In a bedroom, not too far away from the new lovesick couple, occupied one of the most long lasting couples of the monastery. And ironically, one of the lovebird’s brother was in that couple.

“You’ll never guess what I heard through the grapevine.” Pearl said from where she laid underneath the black and pink satin sheets.

“Let me guess, Cherry sniffed out another monk wearing a wig.” Cole told Pearl who giggled.

“Not quite… it’s about your sister.” Pearl told him and Cole raised a brow.

“Y/n? What about her?” Cole asked, sitting down at the end of the bed to take his socks off finally. “If it’s about her medication then it’s legally prescribed and that reminds me, I need to register at the pharmacy down the road.” Cole said and Pearl frowned.

“You’re aware she’s 21, right? You don’t need to do that stuff for her anymore and also- can she drink on those meds?” Pearl asked, a little more seriously and Cole smiled before leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Yes and yes.” Cole told her and Pearl sighed.

“You never used to speak about your sister. Why?” Pearl asked and Cole shook his head.

“You’ve asked me this before, answers still the same. Because I was ashamed of having to leave and lie to her.” Cole told his wife who rolled his eyes. “What were you going to say about her anyway?” He asked and Pearl smiled.

“You’re not going to like it.” She said and Cole sighed.

“Then why tell me?” He asked and she grinned.

“Because I don’t want you to find out about this how you found out about them.” Pearl said and Cole grinned.

“Thank you.” He said and she smiled. “I love you.” Cole added and Pearl giggled.

“I love you too.” Pearl said before kissing him briefly. “Y/n and Nya are going to have sex.” Pearl said and Cole paused.

“I need a minute.” Cole said and Pearl nodded. After a mini earthquake in their room that made one of the photo frames fall off the wall, Cole turned back to his wife. “Okay. I think I’m ready to talk about this now.” Cole said and Pearl frowned.

“I was just telling you big guy, and you’re picking that up by the way.” Pearl told him only for Cole to shake his head.

“Yes, boss.” Cole said, picking up the frame. “I still haven’t apologised.” He told his wife who hummed.

“I know but you will. For it all, not just that outburst.” Pearl told him.

“How do I tell her… there’s so much to say. What if she doesn’t want to ever talk to me again?” Cole asked and Pearl smiled before taking his hand.

“Then that’s up to her… we’re all still be here when you tell her.” Pearl said and Cole nodded.

“This is the hardest apology I’m ever going to have to give.” Cole murmured, more to himself.

[eclipsethemagic]

Ch. 3 Hello Stranger

Summary: Jungkook goes to his dad for the weekend and we get to know more about y/n.

Paring: Jimin xf!female reader ( African American)

Genre: smut, fluff, angst

Warning: none

[m.list ] prev next

Jungkook mentally groaned he hated Saturdays. Saturdays were supposed to be his relaxation day, the day he would beat Seokjin in overwatch.

God didn't work in his favor on this Saturday.

"Kook! You're dad outside!" His mother yells from the living room, she had a glass of wine on the coffee table, her feet propped up on the couch, Mrs. Kim's black hair was now out lying on her shoulders.  Jungkook was the only one at home besides Taehyung and Jimin who was in their room doing god knows what.

Jungkook walks downstairs, his bag in his hand, and his phone in his sweatpants. Jungkook pouts at his mother who looked so happy on the couch he could be playing his game on.

"Come on now don't give me those eyes, you'll be there for two days kook." His mother sighs when she looks at her baby boy, Jungkook's lips puff out more making her roll her eyes. His dad blows the horn, and Mrs. Kim stands up from the couch and pulls Jungkook in a hug, she kisses his forehead and opens the door for him. Jungkook walks out and goes down the steps to his dad's black truck. He opens the door gets in and shuts it back waving to his mother when she shuts the door.

Mr. Jeon wasn't an ugly guy, he was only around 45 with black hair that had a little bit of gray, his lips were thin and pink, and had the biggest doe eyes. Jungkook was lucky he got most of his dad's looks and his mother's personality.

"How's school?" His father's voice was deep and rich, living in America for two years his dad's accent was stronger than ever. Jungkook looks up from his phone and turns his head at his father, a smile forms on his lips before answering.

"Good, I got an A-plus on my math test last week." Jungkook was excited to tell his dad, Mr. Jeon was never the type of man to ask about Jungkook's day, he was all about work and showing how much you can do with your brain.

Jungkook wasn't like that.

That pissed off Mr. Jeon.

"Wish Taehyung would have come." His dad says when they are at a red light.

Ah yes, the golden child, Jungkook didn't understand why his dad would choose Taehyung over him, but then again he knew.

Taehyung got good grades in school, Taehyung was popular, Taehyung pleased his parents and well Jungkook did none of those things.

He, Jeon Jungkook was tired of pleasing people, he was tired of trying to be manly, Jungkook wanted to be him.

Jungkook didn't know how bad that would get him.

"I guess she's pretty," Namjoon says over the phone when he looks at the picture Jimin sent him.

"You guess? bitch what do you mean by that?" Jimin says as he sits up on his bed, Taehyung wasn't in the room so Jimin thought it was a perfect time to talk about his little crush for the new girl. Namjoon graduated school this year with Hoseok leaving Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook last. Which will be next year for them, so Namjoon knew a lot of people.

He just didn't know y/n

"You heard what I said, she's pretty I guess. She ain't my type park." Which was true. Namjoon dated the thick Asian girls that he could grab ass on, they had to have hips and with braces, know don't get Jimin wrong he loved Asian girls but not like that.

Y/n wasn't Asian nor was she skinny but she was thick, ass and all.

I mean..like Jimin could smack her ass and that shit would jiggle.

"Still, I bet you hoseok would rate her a 10 and that little shit likes men." Jimin wouldn't be lying though. out of all the guys, hoseok was the second gay one, been one since birth, as their mother would say. Namjoon lets out a chuckle, one of those deep ones. "Yeah, you wouldn't be lying."

"Hey, Namjoon?" Jimin says after listening to Namjoon ramble about books he got from the bookstore. Namjoon lets out a hum and moves around his bed trying to get his back to crack.

"How is your dad like." the line was quiet for a second, "Hyung you don't have to tell me," Jimin mumbles starting to feel bad. His mom never talked about Namjoon's dad nor did Namjoon but he does go every weekend just like how he, Taehyung, and Jungkook used to do until they started taking turns.

"He's never really here, so whenever it is his weekend I get the house to myself. Don't get me wrong my dad isn't a bad guy he just doesn't have himself together yet. I hope one day he does and starts to act like a father I never really had." Namjoon never really showed his emotions, that was one of the things he did lack. Their mom always said that she thought Namjoon was emotionless when she first met him, his mom was one of the reasons why N amjoon stayed to himself and why he was afraid of women for a long time.

"Wish my dad was like that," Jimin confesses making Namjoon shift a laugh, "No you don't man, he's more of a stranger than a father."

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Thinking About Eddie Discovering He’s in a Bi 4 Bi Relationship with Lucy in the Dumbest Way Possible

My sister and I were playing around with idea and it made us laugh so I thought I'd share it with y'all

So Eddie and Lucy have been together for a while, Corroded Coffin is finally gaining some notoriety and Eddie has even gone on a short tour as the opening act for a bigger band

He's known he's bi since he was a kid, but hasn't really come out and is only now getting comfortable with it after living in Chicago for a few years and just knowing that other LGBT people are out there

But the AIDS epidemic is still going on, and all the stuff about bi-men especially is really bad so he's just not sure

However with more press centering around him and the band, he figures it's time he at least tell Lucy rather than have her hear something through the rumor mill

Robin has come out to everybody in the group at this point as well as Will, so Eddie thinks it will go over well, but he's still nervous

It's one thing to support one's friends, but he's not sure how much being her boyfriend will change her perspective on things

So imagine his surprise that when he tells her, not only is she totally accepting, but she even tells him, "it's completely normal"

This phrasing takes him aback and he asks her, "what do you mean by normal"

And she looks him dead in the eye and tells him, "well we all know being straight isn't really a thing"

And he, completely astounded by this statement says, "care to elaborate"

And she's like, "well everybody knows that all girls are pretty, and obviously all guys are handsome, but the trouble is that the church and government need men and women to get married in order to have children to maintain the country's work force and maintain property rights. So, they act like men loving each other and women loving each other as this affront against the nation's values or whatever. Which is so stupid since, again, we all like each other anyway so what does it matter who ends up marrying who? But I guess that's the government for you"

And Eddie is sitting there stupefied because like...she's not wrong? But her round about logic is wild, so he's like, "so when David Bowie says he's bi, what do you think that means?"

And Lucy is like, "well he's just saying the quiet part out loud, which gets everybody really mad"

And Eddie is just nodding along as this point and is like, "okay, honey, I need you to answer me this honestly, what do you think a lesbian is"

And Lucy is like, "a woman who dates women, obviously"

And Eddie is like, "okay good, and a gay guy?"

And Lucy is like, "a man who dates men, I do know what words mean"

And Eddie is like, "okay, so by that logic, if there are women out there who are only attracted to women and men out there who are only attracted to men, shouldn't it then mean that there are guys who are only attracted to women and vice versa?"

And Lucy is like, "no"

And Eddie is like, "well then what do you think a straight person is?"

And Lucy is like, "somebody who dates someone who is of the opposite sex"

And Eddie is like, "then because I'm dating you, am I straight?"

And Lucy is like, "no, you just told me you're bi"

And Eddie is like, "so, you're attracted to women?"

And Lucy is like, "yes"

"And you're dating me, so presumably you like guys"

"Of course"

"So you're bi"

And Lucy is like, "well I've only dated you so, technically I'm straight"

Eddie at this point doesn't know how to proceed and then is like, "have you told Steve or Jonathan this theory?"

And Lucy is like, "oh yeah, me and Steve had a long talk about it and he agrees with me"

Eddie now baffled is like, "what?"

And Lucy is like, "yeah, after Robin came out, me and Steve had a long conversation about it and he agrees that everybody is hot and the whole homophobia thing is stupid"

Eddie now completely exhausted is like, "okay, I gotta make a phone call, I love you and we're going to continue this conversation later"

Eddie then calls Robin who confirms everything Lucy just told him and that Steve was also of the same mind set

She had tried to explain to them what being bisexual meant, but neither of them were getting it so she decided to drop it assuming they'd figure it out on their own

Little did she know at the time that the pair of them were sitting so far in the closet together they had entered a state of nirvana by convincing themselves straight people just didn't exist

Eddie almost feels bad when he eventually has to burst her bubble and finally get Lucy to understand that straight people do, in fact, exist and it isn't just internalized homophobia, but real genuine hatred for people who are different that has been driving so much oppression against himself and others; but, it does make for a more open communication between the two of them and each are allowed to be just a little more themselves around the other

TLDR; Lucy and Steve both think straight people are a conspiracy made up by the government and Eddie realizes he is not, in fact, the dumbest bisexual on the planet

[v-love]

Baby Steps

Chapter Two

Kai Anderson x Black Masc!Reader

Summary: You live alone in the cold state of Michigan. You find unexpected comfort in a slightly deranged blue haired man who was not as deranged as he likes to front.

Warnings: None

Images/GIFS are not mine.

Word Count: 2,378

Chapter One

You stare at the text. You weren’t in shock at the fact that he had texted you, you were in shock about when. Chuckling to yourself you send a text.

Hey not at all, I was just thinking about you.

You bit your lip. “Fuck is that weird…shit.” You quickly send another.

We should hang out sometime?

Sighing you get out of your car, unlocking the door and entering your warm home. You relax more the moment you step in, feeling the warmth surround you in a pleasant hug. Taking off your coat and boots has never felt this good unless you’re coming home from an intense day. It wasn’t that you had a bad day, just a bit draining from how many things you did and people you met. Heading down to your basement, you quickly put to wash your dirty clothes. You hated the smell of sweat, especially if you’re not in an environment that should smell like that. You put in your earbuds, listening to a podcast you loved as you put the detergents and fabric softeners in where they needed to be. You hear a ding, reaching for your phone.

you were thinking about me, huh? interesting…

kidding! we should hang out though, what time and place? i’m free all this week.

Rolling your eyes a bit while laughing, you think of when you’re free. The only day you had off was Wednesday and you weren’t doing anything then so it couldn’t hurt. Putting the wet clothes from before you left into the dryer, you think over where you two should hang out. You two could have lunch, you thought. There was going to be something going on downtown anyways so you could both hang out there too.

What about Wednesday? We could go for lunch and I heard something was going on downtown so we could head over there too. I heard there’s this restaurant just two blocks from the gym that’s good.

You wince at how long your text was. It wasn’t your fault that you hate sending quick texts, you felt like you were spamming them. You turn off your phone and focus on your laundry, listening to the podcast once again. Going back up the stairs and grabbed a protein bar from your cupboard. “I have the nasty chocolate ones left? Fuck.” You say to no one in particular. Chewing on the protein bar, you scroll through Hulu, humming as you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Yes you knew they were assholes, it wasn’t your fault that you enjoyed watching rich people being stupid and rich. Your phone vibrates on the table, making you glance at it. Another text from Kai and two from Harrison.

wednesday is good. i’ve been to the restaurant, it’s pretty good. there’s a political thing downtown, you sure you wanna go there?

You sigh, weighing your options. You could go to a political event and be called a bunch of slurs while you’re there or you could go somewhere else. You weren’t too political yourself but you needed to stay in the loop. It’s very often that people tried to take your rights away. You were gay and black, it was truly a gamble. You were glad you could defend yourself, your father making you take defense classes when you were little. Sure you hated going but now you were grateful. You decided that you’d rather not have to deal with dumbass people.

Nah, I’d rather not go. Maybe we could go to that botanical garden? I haven’t been there.

You blinked once before getting a text back.

you haven’t been?! definitely going there. want me to pick you up? we could also just meet at the restaurant at around 12:30? 

Thinking for a second you shake your head, calling him. Your leg softly bounces as you hear the dialing tone. “It was easier to just call right?” You hear Kai say from the other side of the call. Laughing you nod to yourself. “Well yeah, my fingers kinda got tired. We could meet at the restaurant then walk to the garden. It’s not far from it.” You say as you scroll through google maps. “Oh hell yeah, let’s do it.” Kai says, on the other side of the call he watches his tv silently. Smirking a bit as he spoke to you on the phone, he built a plan in his head. He knew you were alone in this life an he was already infatuated with you. Soon the phone call ended and Kai frown as he stared at his phone. “Already? It’s only 12 am…” He groans as he stands, pacing around the basement. Kai’s hands run through his blue hair, helping him plan a way for you to be in the cult.

Winter sighs as she watches her brother pace around. “Kai, you can’t really win him over looking like that.” She says, coming down the stairs. “Go shower and let me help you.” Kai looked at her, slightly offended. “I look fucking great like this. You should’ve seen the way he looked at me.” He says, causing Winter to roll her eyes a bit. “I love you but you literally reek of sweat. I just know he hates that.” She says, shrugging. “But suit yourself.” She starts walking up the stairs before Kai grabs her arm whispering, “no, help me.”

The morning of the meet up, Kai showers and takes his time, wanting to look his almost best. He would only give you his best when you two were together, ruling the fucking world. Winter silently helps him with his hair, only speaking when asking what he wanted to do with it. “Leave it down. Just dry it…I’d look good like that right?” He looks at her, for the first time she sees her old Kai. Not the Kai that would kill anyone just to prove a point. She saw her shy older brother that was nervous when he would talk to any person that was slightly hotter than the norm. “You would look good like that. I can use that oil I put in mine whenever I blow dry it. You know, the one that makes my hair look vibrant and soft.” She says, smiling a bit as Kai settles down in front of her to let her take control. It wasn’t often that he did this so she quickly got to work. Her hands were gentle as she detangled and softly massaged any place where there was a bit of pulling. She was careful to not burn him or his hair while she dried it, turning him around to style it better in the front. “There…you look really handsome.” She says, smiling more at him.

Kai nods and clears his throat, his little façade coming back as he looked back up at her. “Thank you…I’ll see you later.” He says, walking to his room to prepare himself more. As he walks towards the door, Winter quickly stops him, fixing his shirt. “There, okay go.” She says, acting as if he was still her shy older brother. He lets a smile peek through, letting her know the real Kai was still there, before leaving. The drive to the restaurant was quiet. He didn’t like playing music since he wanted to focus on how he wanted to present himself.  Part of him felt bad that he was hiding himself from you, it always happened when he had to. The only difference was that he felt different when talking to you. He felt like when him and Winter would go to the hills and go down the snowy slopes on their little sleds. He felt like how him and his brother would go and get some food from whatever convenience store was open.

Kai’s eyes widen as he falls into realization that he felt as though you were home. He frowned and shook his head. Sure he had been watching you for months and made sure you were the one he needed in his deranged plans but that didn’t mean he had to fall in love. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. His mind was racing until he hears his phone ring. He didn’t even see who was calling, he just picked up. “Hello?” He says, he voice slightly wavering. “Hey Kai! I’m already here, I got a table and everything. Are you almost here?” All of his thoughts silence and a smile makes it’s way to his face. “Oh yeah, I’m already here. I’m about to get out of my car. I’ll talk to you when I get inside okay?” He says and soon hangs up, quickly making his way over to the small restaurant.

His eyes scan the place, searching for you before he even gets to the greeter. “I see my friend over there, can I just…” he says to her and she quickly nods, smiling. “Of course, let me get you a menu.” She says as he starts to head over to you. “I’m finally here. Miss me?” He says to you with a teasing smile. Kai’s heart flutters as he sees your face light up. Rolling your eyes, you laugh. “We literally saw each other yesterday, Kai.” He smiles at the mention of his name. He liked the way his name sounded when you said it. “We did but that was what? 12 hours ago? 12 hours is a long time.” Kai says, taking the menu and looking over it. “What should we drink?” He asks you, reading the options.

“I think I’m going to have water. I drank coffee this morning and if I have anymore caffeine, I’ll run on auto pilot.” You say, your gaze drifting over to him. Kai’s hair looked different to you, it looked soft and shiny. It was also not in his usual bun; he looked pretty like this. Your eyes trail down to his hands and you notice his small tattoo of a thumbs up. You don’t even notice him calling your name until that hand snaps it fingers at you. “Earth to Y/n?” He says, smiling at you. “I asked if you already knew what you wanted.” You shake your head a bit and look back up at his face. “No, I can’t choose between the pasta or the salad.” You see the waitress come over and ask for drinks, you saying water and Kai saying sprite. As soon as she left, you ask Kai which dish to get. He chooses one and smiles as you agree to it. When the waitress comes back with the drinks, she takes the orders.

As you two wait, you talk about anything and everything. You start to notice that he had a façade, he would switch between himself and the Kai Anderson he wanted you to like. The way he would get a little excited to talk about certain things before he realized that he needed conceal himself. The way his hands would slightly tremble when he was acting. “Kai, stop talking.” You say, interrupting him mid sentence. You see his eyes become unfocused and anger flash through them for a second before focusing on you. You both stayed silent as you communicated though touch, taking his hand in yours before speaking. “Drop whatever mask you have. I’m tired of watching you put it back on every time we talk about something you like.” You say in a soft tone, watching as Kai’s eyes unfocused again.

Kai’s mind was racing. How could you tell? Was he obvious? No, he was a master at this skill. This was how he worked. “I’m sorry.” Was the first thing he said to you. “I just really want you to like me.” He pulls his hand away from yours before smiling. His eyes were focused again and alert. His hands weren’t trembling. “How did you know?” He asks, looking at you with interest. “Your body language. Your hands shake a little when you’re acting.” Kai’s eyes widen a little. Only Winter would know things like that. She always noticed when he was acting. “You and my sister are so alike. Winter says the same thing.” You look up at the mention of her name. “Winter? She’s your sister? Wait…” You rack your brain trying to remember if a friend of yours had siblings. “Holy shit, that’s why Anderson sounded familiar. She was in a few of my classes in highschool.” You say, smiling brightly. “How is she?” Kai was a bit surprised and disappointed. Winter didn’t tell him you knew her. “She’s good, she lives with me right now actually.” He says, his leg bouncing a bit under the table. “I missed her. Tell her I said hi.”

After lunch, Kai and you walk towards the garden just like planned. “You should leave your hair down more often.” You say as you untie your own. Kai chuckles and nods. “I’ll do it just for you.” He says and looks over at you. “How does…all that work? Your hair I mean.” Kai’s tone was hesitant, he didn’t want to offend. “It’s a journey. I use the locs to kinda track how far I’ve come. That and I really like my hair like this.” You say, smiling at him to melt away any thoughts he had. Kai hums in understanding. “I like it on you. I actually think it’s hot.” He says in a neutral tone, no paying any mind to how you pause in your steps. “You think I’m hot?” You tease a bit, trying to mock him in a way. “Yeah, so hot. Like right now, I wish we were kidding.” Kai says, laughing right after.

The moment he said that was the moment you realized how comfortable it was to talk to him. You also realize how much you wanted to always hang around him. “Those are dangerous words, sir.” Kai glances at you and lets out a dry chuckle, swallowing to sooth his now dry throat. “No way…” you say. “You did not just expose yourself like that.” Kai looks at you confused. “How did I do that?” You smirk and shake your head. “Never mind…oh look we’re here.” You say, leaving him wondering what you meant.

Thank you so much for reading Chapter Two of Baby Steps!! I hope you enjoyed it!!

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[symbiotic-slime]

that's a lot, but still: for the fanfic ask game: ❤, 💥, ⏰️ , 👓 , 🦋 , 🦈, 💭, 🧪, 🔥, 💘,💡, 🔎, 🎨 .

SORRY, THAT'S A LOT!!! 😭

hi I’m so so sorry it took me a bit to get around to this 😭 also never apologize for sending too many, I am professional yapper and will take every opportunity to talk about my fics :D

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

oooo this is tough! I have to go with this line from the fic I’m working on right now, which kinda goes too hard for a fanfiction that involves a man falling in love with mold

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Eddie Brock being the King in Black. I know there’s a lot of people who think it’s cool and like it, but to me it just feels out of place for him. like he should just be A Guy™️, not like the commander of all symbiotes and able to move through time or whatever the hell is going on right now in the current run.

⏰️ Do you like to post fics on a schedule or at random?

they’re definitely at random! it’s just whenever I get bursts of inspiration, I’m trying to be more regular (especially with VenomFest— I’m trying to keep up with it being weekly) but yeah, there’s no schedule 😅

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

this is gonna make me sound like an iPad baby but I love having videos I’ve already seen on in the background while I write! if Coffeezilla isn’t explaining a scam on my tv while I write on my phone/laptop than I am operating at like 50% efficiency 💀 It’s so bad 😭

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

I absolutely love writing the Venom Symbiote!! they’re such a goober it makes them so enjoyable to write! also it’s so fun to write about human things from the perspective of a guy who’s confused by them all the time.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

Don’t know if he’s actually tough to write but part of the reason I haven’t written any symbiOT3 fics is because I’m scared of fucking up Flash 😭 I get like that with new characters, I get so petrified of writing them even though I find when i actually do write them it’s not as bad as I think. like it took me a while to build up to writing comics!Eddie, even though he’s not that hard to write (imo) and very fun to write!

💭 What inspires you and your writing?

LGBT delusions /j

my genuine answer is honestly not far off from that though— Venom and Eddie just exist in my brain all the time and writing about them helps me from just rotating them in my brain all day.

🧪 Do you research for your fics?

a bit? it depends on what I’m writing because most of it isn’t stuff that requires research, but if I ever get around to my Malevolent/Venom crossover I’m going to have to figure out how investigations actually work.

🔥 Have you included any sexy scenes in your fics? If yes, do you find them easy or difficult to write?

I have written them and I find them lowkey difficult to write 😭 I love writing them— all the ones I have published right now are x reader fics but the TMA au does get weirdly horny. listen okay im not crazy the corruption draws on sexual horror so it’s narratively compelling for Eddie to be horny for mold— [I am dragged out of the room by armed security guards]

💘 Is it easier to write angst or fluff?

fluff!! I find it hard to write angst— I just want all of them to be happy and gay and live happily ever after

💡How many WIPs do you currently have?

Currently I have two WIPs! I’ve got my Magnus archives AU, which has three WIP chapters, and I started writing a Eddie/Venom/Reader smut fic >:3

🔎 Does anyone beta read or edit your fics?

some of my irl friends beta read and edit my fics!! @fist-of-vengeance and @cyborg-empress are what keeps me from publishing fics with typos and just overall issues, I cannot thank them enough!!

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

OUGH there’s too many,,, I’ll try to narrow it down to just three of my favourites:

good old fashioned symbrock smut from Symby’s perspective:

symbiOT3 fic where Flash and Eddie are neighbours! it’s so adorable, I cannot wait for the next chapter:

and a fic where Venom is the monster under kid!Eddie’s bed! kinda heavy (it deals with Eddie being abused), but it’s so heartwarming to see kid!Eddie and Venom becoming friends and Venom protecting Eddie: