#galaxy brained take

[ravenrambles6229]

Making the administration a place within the realm of madness was fucking inspired actually

[bluespiritshonour]

Okay, but consider: Suki/Sokka/Jet.

[izzystizzys]

“…I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I still don’t quite understand”, Fox says, for what must be the dozenth time that hour. His heartbeat pounds behind his eyes in an incessant drum of hurt, and his head aches with every breath like someone’s taken a rusty fork to the inside of his skull and raked his brain out. Fox’ eyes are beginning to burn the way they start doing around hour 80 of a shift, and he has to suppress the brief urge to check over his shoulder. Not even Stabby could come up with a ploy this contrived to make him sleep. Probably.

In front of him, General Grievous coughs awkwardly, long spindly durasteel limbs shivering with its force. “Certainly”, he vocalizes, in that deep, watery cadence. “For your glorious triumphs in battle, your awe-inspiring victory over me in close combat, and your undeniable warrior spirit, I accept you as my consort. I have proven my skills through the ritual capture, and thus, by Kaleesh custom, we are now wed, Commander Fox. I will honor you as my war-bride, and visit vengeance upon your enemies. I swear it to you.”

Expectantly, Grievous tilts his faceplate to the side, and Fox only just catches the suppression of the manic giggle that wants to escape him. Yeah, probably not Stabby - maybe a dying fever dream? Has the infected gash from that skirmish on the lower levels five rotations ago finally decided to end him? If so, it’s not fast enough for Fox’ tastes.

Here’s how it happened: Fox has no kriffing clue. All he knows is one moment an emergency alert tore him from precious Scream Closet time this morning, he went to rescue the Chancellor’s dumb ass again, and whoop, here he is on General Grievous’ ship with the war-criminal himself declaring them happily married. And eyeing him up and down like a piece of candy.

Why, Fox thinks, desperately, does this always have to happen to me?!

Chancellor’s still kidnapped, by the way. Fox has other priorities for the time being.

“I swear to aim my weapons in your service”, Grievous continues, when it becomes exceedingly clear Fox is not going to break out of his shocked stupor anytime soon. “I swear to aim true and strike with murderous intent, I swear to uphold the sacred bonds of our clans in the name of our union, I swear to raise a strong, bloodthirsty brood of warriors with-“

“Wait”, Fox interrupts, once his brain has caught up past the astromech dial-up sound it seems to be playing on repeat. “Uphold clan bonds? You murder your way through my brothers like a rabid nexu on spice on the regular!”

Grievous’ faceplate, which should be for all intents and purposes totally expressionless, does something that reminds Fox strangely of contrition. It has him gaping and shivering in discomfort, in any case. “A fact I regret, but acknowledge lies in my past before the fateful crossing of our paths. I am a warrior at soul, you must understand, my worthy mate.” Durasteel faceplates don’t turn soft. They don’t. And coughs don’t sound loving. They simply do not. “But I uphold the bonds of these sacred vows under Kaleesh law, that I swear to you, my beloved.”

“All I did was grapple you to the ground”, Fox says, mourningly. “Cody has kicked you in the head dozens of times and you’ve never tried to marry him.”

“He is not you, and his battle lacks the lustful vitality and love of violence of yours”, Grievous declares, and Fox really cannot tell whether the sound that erupts from him is a lovelorn sigh or a hacking death-gurgle. This cannot be his life.

Just then, a droid conveniently enters, putting a pause to all Fox’ sufferings. He’ll need to tell Thorn to research Kaleesh divorce proceedings. Or, better yet - he needs to blow up this whole karking ship including himself and destroy all evidence of this ever happening.

“Generals Kenobi and Skywalker awaiting in custody, Sir”, says the droid, nervously. “They are here to rescue Chancellor Palpatine, but we cut them off just out of the hangar bay.”

Internally, Fox rolls his eyes so hard it hurts his brain. “The Jedi can wait”, Grievous hacks out, and for once Fox agrees with him. Let the two dick around onboard, there’s bigger issues at hand.

“But Sir”, says the droid, all twitchy with an anxiety Fox eternally wonders who the kriff programmed into the damn things, “what if they try to escape and -“

A deep, growling noise erupts from deep within Grievous’ massive metal chest, amplifying Fox’ pounding headache by a thousandfold. “I have no time for this”, he snarls at the cowering droid. “Remove yourself from my and mine beloved’s sight.”

“Roger Roger”, the B2 squeaks, hesitantly, before adding on - “The Chancellor-“

Harrumphing petulantly, Grievous stomps one massive, clawed foot and makes what feels like the whole viewdeck shake. “I will twist his head off his body like a rotten fruit”, he declares. “That will get those pesky Jedi off my ship faster, and then we can continue saying our vows.” He pauses, thoughtfully, and then hooded eyes ringed by what must surely be rotten flesh fix on Fox inexorably. “It will be my wedding gift to you, beloved, an offering of peace to your brothers.”

Fox opens his mouth to protest, but quickly snaps it shut again when his husband already turns tail and storms off.

Huh. Maybe this marriage thing isn’t all bad.

[narwhalsarefalling]

todays herbarium story: new fucking way of dating things to confuse future archivists. someone wrote 66-1-3 as the date on a specimen. obviously i assumed 66 was the year and either the day was January 3rd or March 1st. put “1966” for the year in the file, marked as needing confirmation.

anyway one of the historical archivists went back and used the guys name to figure out about what month he confirmed it? and it was fucking 1866. the guy who cataloged it died in 1920.

i inadvertently handled a specimen thats older literally everyone i know and love and my only thought was mild irritation because it was dated weird.

we still dont know if it was found in January or March.

[canisalbus]

Since in your dog universe there is just dog people who are no different than humans and the rest of the animals exist as normal animals, it means furries as we know them can exist. Puppies can play warrior cats in the playground, they can have a fursona but it would probably be called something different since they are already furred

.

[necrotic-nephilim]

Psst this makes no sense timewise but fucky Stephjay where teenage Jason briefly worked for Cluemaster to pay for food/rent.

I doubt Jason would be a drug runner as a kid but I can see him as a lookout or maybe bodyguard/errand boy for the Browns.

YOUR MIND MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD

Jason working for Cluemaster is *so* good, my god. especially if Jason doesn't want to be there and doesn't like it, but he has no other option to pay the bills (i think this would be a fun AU to keep Catherine alive in, maybe he's trying desperately to pay medical bills to ensure she keeps getting medication she needs which makes him even more desperate for money and willing to do things he wouldn't normally) so he starts working for small time villains, ones he thinks won't be as bad as Joker or the like. which lands him as a goon for Cluemaster and somehow, he's either useful or interesting enough to Arthur that he decides to keep promoting Jason. until one day, he offers a very high pay raise for Jason to look after Steph. it's not necessarily that Arthur cares about Steph or her mother, but he does care about his reputation so when someone threatens his family, he needs to save face.

i think this could be fun to explore before Jason becomes Robin (maybe making him Robin a *little* later just so he and Steph have a significant time together as teenagers). and Jason ends up sort of close to this spunky, angry kid of Arthur Brown who calmly tells Jason she is going to do everything in her power to get her father behind bars and she's sorry but not sorry if and when that lands Jason out of a job. bc maybe she's suspicious of Jason first, bc what kind of guy willingly works for Cluemaster, but then, as she learns more about where he is in life, she Gets it. she understands bc she sees the shady things her own mother, Crystal does to get by under Arthur's thumb.

when Jason vanishes bc he becomes Robin, Steph is disappointed but she gets it. Bruce Wayne suddenly publically has a new ward and hell, Steph can't blame a guy for taking that chance bc that kind of money will *definitely* help Catherine. Steph's life goes on with her father being her father.

it's a bit unrealistic but. i sort of like the idea that when Jason dies, Bruce is so caught up in grief and funeral proceedings and anger that he sort of forgets about Catherine. and Steph will be damned if Catherine Todd is forgotten about and left to rot as a childless mother. i'd love to write Steph and Crystal finding the money to manage to keep Catherine afloat as well and Steph getting really close to Catherine bc of it. also would be fun if Steph becomes Spoiler partly in honor of Jason bc (not knowing he was Robin) she wants to do the good he never got to.

and THEN the fucked up-ness of it all that Steph finds out Jason was Robin when she takes up the torch and so quickly dies afterward she never fully gets to process how she feels about that. how to handle her pride in Jason for getting to be more than what he was versus her anger at Bruce for letting him die. and on the horrible flip side, Jason comes back and finds out Bruce let another kid die as Robin, and that kid was *Steph*. he finds out it was Steph who kept his mom alive, Steph who died in a mantle that should've ended with Jason and he's even angrier at Bruce. i do think he'd kill Black Mask in a slow, painful way to avenge her since clearly, Bruce can't.

and then Steph comes back and there's all the complicated feelings i just. oh your brain this is such a good idea i want to write it so bad. anything that explores connections Jason and Steph could've had before Bruce because they truly deserve to be more entangled than they already are. let them be weird about each other DC.

[epic-sorcerer]

“Arthur can totally dress himself he’s just spoiled” why are you giving him that much credit

[solunarwitch]

I would love to thank whoever decided Todd should fall in love with Wallace, I never knew how much I needed them

[nonasbirthday]

ok fully digressing here

I know we like to compare Griddlehark to Yzma and Kronk (as we should!) but but BUT consider the Kuzco & Pacha parallels

I'm just saying that THIS:

is not all that different from THIS:

[softcryz]

My beautiful princess with a disorder /ref

[orphiclovers]

category five yoo joonghyuk Woman moment. why does he experience workplace misogyny

[zivvis]

barbie doll gore mod where you can do his hair and put him in situations. it's exactly the same mod

[tswwwit]

Wait so he’s not taking it from the back while seeing unimaginable horrors?? I guess i misunderstood portal smut

Technically speaking it'd be more accurate to call it 'glory hole with identity surprises' smut, but portal rolls off the tongue better!

Though if it helps, your concept is excellent and your mind a beautiful treasure.

[sailor-moon-moon]

The nature of humanity is that every few years someone reinvents the mothership of ships and my pattern recognition skills are left to deal with the consequences.

[knifeshoebookworm]

Oh my god, anyone realise that for Jiang Cheng to have had the comb to give to Wen Qing after Lotus Pier fell, he must have had it on him on the day which means...he regularly carried it around. This teenage boy who knew full well after the Qishan Indoctrination that the Wen were The Enemy and he wouldn't ever be allowed to be with Wen Qing carried that comb around with him because he presumably couldn't bear to put aside that symbol of his feelings. Remember the day Lotus Pier was sacked started out the same as any other day - even if Jiang Cheng anticipated trouble from the Wen at some point following the fiasco in the Xuanwu Cave, there's no way he could have known that by nightfall he would have lost his home, his parents and his sect and be on the run with his siblings with nothing but the clothes on their backs and whatever they carried with them. And so he carried that comb around next to his heart everyday, just like afterwards he would carry his love for Wen Qing despite her clan massacring his, despite being so traumatised he flinched from her in the supervisory office. He carried that love through the months after the sacking until he offered it to her along with the comb when he found her in that cell. And much later, when she followed him down from the Burial Mounds and returned it to him because she couldn't accept his love and his protection, not when she would have to leave her family behind, the freaking devastation on his face as she gave it back and the way he took it so reluctantly as if it physically pained him because his feelings hadn't ebbed at all...man, that comb encompassed so much. And it was a crying shame that they couldn't be together, that the world wouldn't let them.

[galaxythreads]

guys, i think i wrote like 16k yesterday in like 10-12 hours and i do not know how i did that but i think i saw god for a moment and we waved and then i passed out.